Pretty Little Episode #100

This is a head gum podcast. Pretty little episode. Welcome to the hands of pods, pretty little episode. I'm Fortune Beamster. I'm Mai Martin. And you guys, we just realize, Pertamas, this is our 100th pre-willed episode. We've had a lot more of our regular episodes, but 100 bonus episodes. That's pretty cool. So that means probably like 300 people have had their questions answered. That's pretty cool. That's something like that. That's very cool. Really cool. I love getting questions from people that from all over the world, really. I just, I wish conversation in general works like that. People come with their prepared questions. I love it when people ask me questions. Yeah. Because I am better at answering questions and I am at offering information. Oh, yeah. That's true about you, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's not like you come into a room and go, "Oh, all this shit is going on with me." I'm like, "I've been thinking about this." Yeah, you got to go fortune. What's been up with you? And I was like, "Oh, it's funny." You just ask, "Yeah, let me think." And then, "Let me think it's my birthday today." Oh, my birthday is coming up. Oh boy. I'm going to be in a cake. You're going to answer the door. There's going to be a big old cake and I'm going to jump out of it. That's my name. Me in a cake. You in a cake. I know. So who's behind you on your little shelf there? I'm seeing some pretty cute. I know. Thank you for noticing me. I got tired of having a very boring area behind me. Well, I just got my office painted. So this is the new color. Kind of grayish, a light, grayish brown. You went from white to light gray. I went to cream. I went from cream to light gray just to give it a little warmth. Right. A nice little cloudy gray. It looks beautiful. You've seen it in person. It doesn't look as brown, but it's not super gray. I don't know what this color is. I gave you. I picked it out. I trust air opinion. So I finally could get my little trinkets out. And I've got our Ha, Ha, Ha award from just for laughs. Just for laughs. I have this little thing of us. My social media gals gave to me a little frame photo of the boys. Of us three. You can only really see this if you're watching at the video. I apologize. A fan gave me a sign that says, "Y'all means all." Oh, yeah. I love that. Pretty good. I have the handsome sign that a fan would work for me. I have our signal award that the handsome pod won. God it. What a podcast. What a podcast. We want a glad award. I'm checking in to see if I get one of those puppies to put up out here. I've got my fortune Marie. My crocheted. What is it called? Needle point. Needle point. Yeah. Then I have my someone. This is crochet, right? Can you see it? The owl. It's a hooters owl. Oh, it's a hooters owl. I want to say. I don't know. Little owl boobs under there. There's no boobs actually. It's just an owl. Birds don't breastfeed. Do they? But maybe these are the, maybe the eyes are supposed to be the boobs. They took creative license. Yeah, those are big boobies. Another fan gave me an alf. Oh, hell yeah. Our infamous alf episode. Almost early days. Very early. Where you said something and I said, "Then why did I go dressed as alf?" Yeah. It calls the ripple of happiness with people. And then I have a couple little nibbles. Maple stick. I have the Funko pop. And I have a, you know, Funko pops? Oh, the little head guys. Yeah. The little bobby head guys. I love that this is a sort of very handsome pod centric. Well, I feel like the gays in charge of my interior design are going to have a problem. They're going to be like, um, they're gonna. Yeah. I don't know. Well, it's nice to see. It looks very warm and cozy in there. Well, you know, it's, I feel like I've got to have a little personality in my house when you have three gay men in charge of your designs. Yeah. It's very sterile, clean, mid-century monster. Like beautiful. But I'm like, I need a little, I still, I need a little pop of something. I'd be alive. If I went over to your house and there was nothing, I'd be, I'd think you were a serial killer. Oh, yeah. No, I, well, I do have my video game in here. Yeah, great. But I did just get my, this, I'm like, what am I a home improvement show? I did just get my fireplace marbled. It's gorgeous. Covered in marble? Covered in marble. Wow. That's very like ancient Roman and sexy. Cool. I really want you to have like a fake, of course, but like a polar bear rug. Okay. You can recline on in front of your marbled, your marbled thing. Well, at some point, we'll have to go to each other's places to see our styles. Don't tease me. I'm gonna do your show tomorrow night. Are you asking me? Yeah, it takes you to you. Oh, my God. I just didn't see it. Yeah. Oh, amazing. Oh, great. Okay. That, that'll be great. So what's going on with you? Enough about me and my trinkets. My trinkets are also thriving. I got a little metal mouse here. What's going on with me? Last night, I went to see the screening of the RuPaul movie. Oh, yeah, I saw it. It's funny. I loved it. It reminded me of like, yes, like almost like Austin Powers type of comedy, innuendo. It reminded me of airplane too. Very airplane. Yeah. I loved it. I was really in the mood for that. Yeah. It comes out or it's out now per this. And I think people should go see it. It's really funny. We got to support it because stop that train, right? Yeah. It's just insane that there haven't been more movies where dry queens are the stars. They're funnier than any really funny, really entertaining. Yeah. And it's just so we're a punchline hell. Yeah. So joyful. So so good. So I did that. Then I went for dinner with Parvati and I said, I told the waiter, they were like, are you celebrating anything? And I said, yeah, we just got engaged as a joke. And then he was like, oh, my God. How did it happen? Like, what was the story? And then I was like, oh, so I said, it was just in the car. And he's like, in the car. And then I said, he's like, this appointed in your story. And then they sent free champagne. And then another waiter came over and was like, I heard we're celebrating. And I was like, oh, no. Why did I do this? We're not engaged. But we did get some free champagne. Okay. There you go. Yeah. So that's how I used to do in college when we would go to the chain restaurant. I would tell them it was my birthday. So I could get a free dessert. Oh, that's the best. I miss the days where where you could tell the pilot, it was your birthday and then go sit on his lap. That was a thing. I swear, those things never sell the pilots lap. You're missing out. I have had a couple pilots in current times. Ask me to come to the cockpit because they like my comedy. And I've been like, and one, and I'm just like, hey, done. Yeah, like in the cockpit, like chatting with them, not during the, during the flight, like boarding and stuff or, or when you're exiting. God, you must, they really trust you. I mean, you have a very trustworthy open face. Yeah. They're not weird. You're going to pull anything crazy. I'm not going to pull anything. I just want to get where we need to go safely. Let's do it, guys. You remember DB Cooper, that whole urban man? No, what's this? This guy, I think it was like the 70s or something. There's 60s. This guy robbed a plane. He said he had a bomb on him or something. He robbed a plane and then he jumped out of the plane, parachuted with like millions of dollars and they never found him. And so people are like, did he survive? Did he take that? Wait, is that the cocaine bear story? No. Is that the same thing? That's something else I think. And wait, what is this guy's name? I'm going to look it up later. DB Cooper. DB Cooper. One. Okay. I'm going to look it up. Well, should we get some questions? Yes, please. It's our centennial century anniversary. Nice. Wait, can I guess the name of the person? Oh, okay. I heard it was a guy. Yeah. I think not to presume, but I'm going to guess the name of the listener. If I get this right, how crazy would that be? I think it's Ben. Okay. I'm going to guess as well. And I'm going to guess David. Okay. Hello, handsome. This is Spencer from New Jersey. My thanks for your support. is what was a moment or event that you look back on and describe your life as before or after blank? -Oh. -Oh, okay. -Oh, wow. -I mean, I can answer that pretty easily. I mean, I would say currently. I have a pre-married, pre-imposed marriage life, I feel like, you know? -Yeah. -Or like pre-divorce, post-divorce. -Yeah, I guess that's more accurate, yeah. -Yeah, I mean, that's a major life path shift, yeah. -So it's like, you know, even though like, you know, my job's the same, friends are the same. It's like new house, new routines, new things, new life, new, you know. It's an adjustment for sure, but it's definitely a significant time of my life of pre-imposed. -Yeah, that's mega. -Yeah. -I. The first thing that came to my mind was pre-seeing Ace Ventura and post-seeing Ace Ventura -Okay. -I don't even know what year did it come out. -I would have been. -I bet. -I'm, I guess. -Yeah. -92. -94. -So yeah, I was seven. -No. -Yeah, really good. I was seven and I, it changed my life. It came out in North America and then I had seen it and I moved to England and it hadn't come out yet in England. And so I would do all the lines and sort of pretend I. I came up with that character, like that school and stuff. -Did you hold your butt cheeks and go, "Can I ask you a question?" -One million percent, I did. And I did a lot of, like, a lot of already then, a lot of. -A lot of it. -Give it to us. -Give it to us. Oh, righty then. -There you go. -I did a lot of, yeah, like, all of those lines. So that was huge. It just set me on a path of, like, that being a real weirdo could be cool and funny. -Yeah. -Doesn't hold up when you re-watch it. -Very traditional. -Really? I've been watching it for years. [laughs] -Also, I guess I'm going to say. -Top surgery. -That changed. That was the biggest life changer. -Really? You felt like a different, like, a whole different person. -Yeah, yeah. Or, like, more like myself. Like, I felt. -Okay. -It was, like, I had been, like, shrink-rapped in latex or cellophane my whole life. Like, I. And not realizing that everybody didn't feel this, like. And then it was, like, someone had just zipped off the cellophane and I could. I was like, "Oh, you know, I'm really. I didn't know until I had the surgery how much better. -Transformer than it would be. -Yeah, big time. And it coincided right with me moving L.A. too. -Yeah. -So I'm not dating around. -I don't remember when you. -I almost burned all my bridges in this industry very quickly if I. -Really dating up a storm. -You were dating up a storm. Oh, my God. -I really was. -It was infamous. -Oh, God. Was it.? -I mean, the word got around for sure. -Oh, my God. Oh, no. -But, you know, you had your fun. -I really did, yeah. -In that sort of vein, I would say another distinct. Time for me would be pre-coming out, post-coming out. I was definitely like. That was this huge transformation as well where I finally felt like myself. All along my whole life, something was missing. And I didn't know what it was. And it just felt like I could never. Like I was happy, but I could never fully be myself. It was just some thing that was like, "What is this thing I'm searching for?" And when I came out, it was just like. As Oprah says, an aha moment. -Oh, aha. -That I just was like. The weight of the world felt lifted off my shoulders. And I felt like I was so much lighter after that. -It's that cellophane thing. -Trink. -Yeah. Should we hear what Spencer has to say? -For me, it's before or after I decided to start shaving my head. I struggled a lot with my confidence and self-image, ever since I was a kid. And I had started building in my early 20s during college. It wasn't until one summer that I decided to do the big shave that I realized just how much it was affecting my life. I love how I look and feel now. And I'm convinced that every single person should shave their head, at least once in their life, just to try it. Maybe Thomas gets out of to the list for you guys. -I love it. -Can't wait to hear your answers. -A nice shaved head. -A groupie, you know. -A shaved head. -Oh, I can't do that. My face is too fat. -I think you'd look incredible. -No. -Not happening. -What would I do because I touched my hair so much? -I don't know what I'm here for. -Oh, but I know that. I know it would be good for me psychologically to have to. -You could rock it, for sure. -You and TIG can rock short hair. You shall have those thin chiseled faces. -People have said to me that I should shave my head to like M&M and bleach it yellow or whatever blonde and shaved short, but I don't know, man. I can see you may be doing it for a role one day. -Really? -Temporarily. -Imagine you thought that was going to be your big Oscar thing and then it just bombed the movie "Bombs". -No one saw it and you suffer. One of the people that had to lose 60 pounds of gain for it is like, yeah. -That must happen all the time, actually, for actors. -But I like, yeah. -Let's hear another one. -Hey, Hansons and Happy Pride. It's Maddie coming at you from Niagara, Ontario. -Hey. -I actually was just at a Pride event at a local cafe last night and a conversation that came up there was your celebrity gay awakening or even gay awakening growing up, whether that was someone you knew. So curious about you guys, who that was, whether celebrity or not. -Oh, I mean, this is so richly part of my lore as Katie Anderson. -Yeah. -My can of counselor, Katie. -That's right. -Who I just must have been so annoying to just follow following her around. -Just the mosquito. -Yeah. -And then even when camp ended, calling her college dorm from a pay phone outside my middle school. -Oh, I didn't know about that. -Oh, yeah. It was crazy. -Yeah. -But I didn't really. -Can you imagine me in the college student getting this phone calling? You're like, hello? -Yeah. Being like, it's his kid. -Hi. -Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What did she say when you called? -I think I was like, oh, my life's really messed up. You know, I hate my parents. Everything's fucked. -I think I was drawn a high draw. -Yeah. -And she was probably like, okay, well, she's not going to be okay. You're good. You got this. Good luck. -Yeah. -And then Bat Midler and Hocus Pocus. -Oh. -And my first ever sex dream. -That's right. -Yeah, sex didn't happen, but the three witches. I was naked and they ate my butt like a meatloaf. They sliced it into. In the dream. I remember it so. -I remember talking about this dream. I don't know how I forgot about the butt part. -Oh, maybe I didn't say that part. -I don't think you. If I'm wrong, Thomas may say the. -I think Mae did say that. -Oh, maybe I just. -Maybe I just lost that out. -I lost that out of my memory. -They were cutting it into slices. I didn't. Yeah, and I just was like, I got to have that dream again. I loved that dream. -You're like, I need this to happen. -Yeah, what about you? -That is so funny. I mean, I've talked about it before my celebrity gay awakening. But that didn't. It still didn't make me realize I was gay, but, you know, with Sandra Bullock. -Yeah. -And while you were sleeping, I was like, what is this? -Yeah. -And I just. I think that probably awoken the. At the time, loving the girl next door type vibe. -Yes. -So, even though it didn't make me come out, it definitely was like, oh. But my. I mean, I would say, you know, the L word show was a part of my gay awakening. Just like seeing these characters in your community. -Yeah, yeah. -Was a big part of like, oh, there's like a community out there. Like, there's just like women holding hands and getting coffee and going to dinner. And that sounds so naive now, but it really was like, yeah. -I mean, I'm from a small town in North Carolina. There was not one out gay person when I was growing up. -Yeah, that's wild. -So, I just did not see that. -Yeah. And then it becomes. You think it becomes this mysterious lifestyle, and then when you can actually see it on TV and be like, oh, they're just literally. -Like normalizing relationships. -Yeah, yeah. -But I will say, just like seeing those pretty ladies kiss. -Oh, my God. -That was like. I mean, and I have so many straight lady friends that were very turned on by that show as well. -I think it's good enough for a lot of people. -It did a lot. - Yeah, almost. - What was this theme song? It was like, "Come and go." ♪ Fightin', fightin', fightin', fightin' ♪ - Yeah, fightin', fightin', fightin' - That's a great betty, I think? - Or no, right, right? - I don't remember, but. - Fightin', fightin', fightin', fightin' - It's like a bunch of words. - Yeah. - Fightin', fightin', fightin', clapin', I haven't coffee-holdin' hands. (laughing) - But man, I just, yeah, to like not ever, 'cause I didn't, again, this is like pre like, you know, porn hub or whatever, like, I wasn't looking at naked ladies or anyone kissing. - Yeah. - It was so foreign to me, all this stuff. And like, all of a sudden, these like, ridiculously attractive women are having like the hottest make-outs and sets, and you're just like, "Whaah, it just happened, eh?" (laughing) It was, it was an awakening. - Were you ever, were you on the reboot or no? - I was on the reboot. - Yeah, but that must have been a crazy full circle. It was, but I think, you know, they thought they were gonna do more with me than they end up being able to do, 'cause they had so many characters. 'Cause you had the whole, like, original cast that everybody wanted to, like, see what was up and then all these new characters. And so, every, like, all my stuff was cut. I was basically, I was, and I was just having this whole arc as like Alice's cousin that's come out to LA, and I'm having her in it all, like, went away. And I was like, "It's, that's fine." So basically, I just got, like, hang out with my friends, you know, Alicia, Kate, and just, like, have a couple of fun days on set, like, sort of being a fan of the franchise. - That's so cool. That would be, like, if I got on Buffy or something on there. - Yeah, like, you're just like, you feel like you're there more as, like, just, "Ah, I'm a fan of this situation." This is cool to, like, sit here and see how the sausage is made. It's cool to think, maybe we'll be someone's gay awakening. Maybe people-- - Wow, that would be-- - Isn't pretty cool. - I bet it happens to be more of their gay awakening, then. - No, I don't think so. I think this whole, this whole gal. - No way, man. No way. I think that's cool. That's such a cool part of it. - Me talking about cooters is gonna get some of my real hot-bothered. - Seriously. (laughs) I think also, honestly, Parfony was one of my, like, early, I mean, I was young when I first saw her on Survivor and I was like, I would defend her and, like, if people were like, she's a villain on that show, I would defend her in a way that was so heated, like, yeah. But actually, what's interesting is she gets a lot of gay men telling her that she was there gay awakening because they were like, I don't know. They were like, her kind of powerful femininity. They were like, in, I don't know, a lot of gay guys were like, interesting. - Yeah, you made me, what's all the age, or who's older? - She's only five years older than me. - Oh, okay. I think. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Her last four years, four years older than me. - Yeah. - Yeah, so, but she was young on that. She was 23 when she first went on that show. - Yeah. - And do they still, do they have Survivor Online, like where I could go? - Oh my God. - I was very curious about this her season. I don't want to watch all of this. - Don't get me started. - You got to start. - I can go somewhere and watch her season. - Well, it's a really strange and rare thing to be able to watch someone at different points in their life as they grow in the world. - 'Cause you know, two seasons, right? - Four times. - Four. - Five, including Australia, I think. But you got to start with. - I don't want to watch the Australia one. - Start with season 16. - Okay, 16. - Okay. - Masterful. - I'm gonna check it out. - That's a great season. - 'Cause it's one of those. - She's for his favorite. - Did she win? - Well, I don't want to spoil it. - Oh, okay, okay, don't spoil it. I'm gonna go along this journey and see what happens. - Thomas, do we have the lyrics to the theme song from The L Word? - From The L Word? - I want to know what the list of things that those ladies are doing was. - What are they doing? Are you gonna sing it for us? - Yeah, we could sing it. Oh, here we go. Okay, let's sing it together. Oh my God, this is the best. - Okay, one, two, three. - Talking, laughing, loving. - It goes faster. - Yeah, you're doing it. - Talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting. If I can cry, I drink it right away. And losing cheating, kissing, thinking, dreaming. And I don't know how else. - That's great. That was it. - I think it goes. - That was great. - This is the way that we live or something like that. - I don't know. - Talking, laughing, loving, breathing. - I'm glad they're breathing. Fighting, fucking crying, drinking, okay. Riding, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking. And dreaming. I'm glad to be here. - It sounds like lesbian. - Yeah, it does. - Yeah. - Well, did our friend give a answer? - Yeah, let's hear her gay awakening. - For myself, it was definitely Michelle Rodriguez from the Fast and Furious movies. Definitely one of those that caused that flutter and went, oh, maybe there's something more here that I need to explore. All right. Can't wait to hear your answers. - Great one. There you go. I also find a lot of the people that I, the celebrities I was drawn to, I later found out were by. Or like I think I have an antenna, you know? - Interesting, yeah. - Well, we did it. Another fun set of questions. - Keep submitting your questions, please. And advice and feedback, whatever you want to say to us, we want to hear, go to speakpipe.com/handsomepod. - And very exciting news. The Hawk, which I'm in and so is May, just started streaming on Netflix, July 16th. So yesterday, so go watch it 'cause it's a real, real fun and funny show and let us know what you think. - Yeah, I think people are gonna love it. - It's a good one. - And I guess until next time. - Keep it. - Keep it. - Pretty handsome. - Pretty handsome. (laughing) - Handsome is hosted by me, May Martin, Tignotaro and Fortune Feemster. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Willett. Email us at [email protected] and please follow us on social media @handsomepod. What a podcast. - What a podcast. - What a podcast. - What a podcast. (laughing) - That was a HitGum podcast.