Pregnancy Rage, Mood Swings, & Baby Names: 2nd Trimester Q&A

Thank you to Quince for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Let me tell you the seasons are changing. It's starting to be time that we can get out our denims again. We can get out our sweaters and there is no better place than Quince. So many of the things I'm constantly reaching for in my closet to layer up, dress up, dress down, come from Quince because they have very, very high quality products. I'm talking 100% Mongolian cashmere. They have silk organic cotton wool. They have those premium fabrics but at an amazing price. Everything at Quince is actually priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands and that is because they work directly with ethical factories, cutting out the middle man so you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. Actually just last night Matt was telling me that he grabbed his shorts. I don't fit my clothes. I've been hitting the gym and so I need new clothes. He bought me Quince swim trunks that are really high quality. I wear them all the time when we go on the pool with the boys. I'm excited to see which he picks out from Quince for me next. Your nice khaki shorts are from Quince. With the khaki that I wear like literally every day. Yep. Those are from Quince. You don't even know where your clothes are from but if you had to guess they're probably from Quince because I love shopping their min section as well for Matt. You can wear them in many different ways for many different seasons. Find your next fall favorites at Quince. Download the Quince app for app exclusive offers or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada and the UK too. And when Quince asks you where you heard about them let them know that unplanned sent you. It's the best way to support the show. Names that we like but won't be using. I don't want to offend anybody. Quincy. Finley. Sloan. Sorry, I don't like that. Okay dang it. Writer. Writer from Paw Patrol is pretty sick. One time we said Luca but now I feel like maybe not. I liked the name rad for like boy number three or four but you didn't like it. Like I just offended someone that named their kid rad. I like these two names but you didn't like them. What Ferris. Ferris Bueller's day off baby. I know. Okay dang it. Ramsey. Let's just name our kid Dave Ramsey. Yeah, like the name Fletcher. I would love to name a boy Fletcher. Maybe we haven't locked this name in like we thought. Welcome back to unplanned everybody. We're so happy you're here. Guys the amount of support that we've received since announcing the gender of our baby we're having a boy by the way. If you if you didn't know that we're like so so excited. We just want to do a Q&A for you guys because we got literally over a thousand questions submitted to our unplanned podcast Instagram asking us like various questions about pregnancy about baby all that stuff but yeah it's a boy we're super excited. How do you how do you feel about that honestly babe? Oh I feel so happy. It's so funny like posting this now and like sharing it. It's like we're reliving it in a way but that was like what 15 weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. It was far. We found in January January 20th was when we we found out we knew. It's funny even experiencing that as like I mean we did call it gender disappointment but in a way like I feel like someone messaged me this and it really resonated with me because she had like the exact same situation. She had two boys and she lost a pregnancy of a baby girl. Yeah. And then got pregnant again with the boy and she's like she told me explaining why she doesn't feel like it's gender disappointment because it's fully attached to the grief of their like lost pregnancy. Yeah. And so it's not necessarily like oh I really wanted a girl and I didn't get a girl. It's fully attached to the grief of that specific girl. Yeah. Which I feel like was around about like was a much better way of saying what I was trying to say in our previous episode. But that's the other thing too. It's like people that have gone through that type of grief know and people that don't like can only imagine what it feels like. But now at this point like what is it 15 weeks out like I'm just so it feels so right. I'm so stoked. Yeah. That's a really good way of describing that. I think it is it is more grief than it is like quote unquote gender disappointment. Also gender disappointment like sounds so negative. It sounds so like I don't know like maybe it sounds too strong and shallow for what we were feeling. 100% like for me it was it was probably it was probably like a feeling that lasted for maybe a couple minutes. Because let me tell you how I feel about it. I am very glad that I don't get to choose the gender of my baby. Like I'm very I'm very very pleased about that. I want everything to just happen as it's meant to happen. Yeah. Like I think it's fun that we get to find out and it's a surprise. I don't know where I'm going with that but I'm just I'm just saying like I'm really glad that I don't get to choose. I don't want to be able to choose. Well it's it's funny that we're talking about gender disappointment because like probably 500 of the 1000 questions submitted were about gender disappointment. Okay. And it was really sweet like people in the comment section on our YouTube video announcing the pregnancy were saying like hey it's okay to feel disappointment. It's normal. It's like it's all right. But then some people were like speculating and then other people were like no clearly like you can tell they have me speculating. Well I think I think with any like no matter what happens people are going to like have you know maybe assumptions they make right. But like then some people were you know like watching the video all the way through and they're like no they're clearly really happy with baby boy which which is the case like we're we're so so so so so happy posting a fragment a vulnerable fragment of your life. Yeah we hope I mean we honestly open ourselves up to this like we're posting our lives on the internet. So I mean we have to be okay with people commenting on our lives because that's that's what we're doing. If we didn't want people commenting we wouldn't be posting. But what I would say is that yeah I would say Pawn for the reflection I feel like disappointment isn't even necessarily the right word for it. Like I really just think it was all attached to grief but now it's just like so it's just excitement. Yeah it was it was cool though I mean like pretty much all the people that asked if we were disappointed also said it's completely understandable and I don't even think I am though I I feel like it is just fully like just missing that you know what I mean. So but yeah that's nice that people say that I don't feel that way I feel stoked like I feel really excited. Yeah I think for me part of it was like your parents went through something similar actually much worse than what we went through and then they got blessed with you. So it was like I think your mom it was it was a way for her to have a daughter after she lost her daughter and so I was kind of hoping we'd have the same thing and we did it and that's okay. It's interesting though because like for me I grew up with two brothers I'm one of three boys so now that I get to like go through this like like what my parents went through having having three boys I'm so stoked. I took my my brothers and my dad on a trip you already know this but I think people listening might not know. I took my brothers my dad on a trip to Universal Studios and this is before the gender reveal but I had told my parents and I was like dad like can you believe that I I get to do this like what you did. I'm gonna have three boys and we were just chatting about it and he was telling me about how people would tell him that he would have a golf for some which is where you have you know four guys all playing golf together. He's like I'm gonna have baseball team and I'm like how many people on our baseball team. Oh there's yeah. I'm like or a basketball team or something. I guess three on three. We got that. What do you mean three on three? We have three on three basketball. We got one three on three basketball team. What do you mean? We're gonna have three boys. Oh I see what you're saying. Do you have three on three? I'm including myself in it because like because a golf for a golf for some is like four. I didn't even heard of what a golf for some is. You have like two golf carts and then it's like a group of people playing golf together. Okay. I'm not a golfer though. Like we I do want to touch on what you said about like my my sister like this situation. Yeah. My parents had a full-term stillbirth of a girl before me and then they got pregnant with me but they were actually told what's interesting about that situation is that they were told that I was a boy. That's wild. Yeah. For like like from the anatomy scan to her gross scan. So like for that's a good amount of time. Yeah. That they were like and my mom remembered feeling disappointed because she was like you know she thought she was going the same same situation right. You thought you're gonna have a girl then you like ours is a little different because we found out the gender the same like once we already knew that she had passed. Yeah. So I don't think we experienced this the same way and I think that's also why I didn't really feel quote-unquote gender disappointment the way that most people feel it or I can feel it is because that news came like simultaneously but what was I saying oh and so she thought that I was a boy for like several weeks to for pregnancy but then found out that I was a girl so that in the very back corner of my head like after the first thing I was like it could be a girl. I see one of our I see one of our voice sneaking in right now. Hey what's up we're we're working but we're gonna go to Disneyland and about what you want to sit over here okay you can watch for a couple minutes if you want but then we have to be really quiet okay oh now pretzels. Pretzels. Pretzels. Pretzels. What's up. Yikers. Matt told me to sit for one minute. Okay you can sit you can sit for a couple minutes soggy okay you gotta be super you gotta be super quiet okay oh you can't you want to sit right there when I say something but yeah I so I was gonna say and the very back back corner of my mind I was thinking like maybe maybe it still is a girl and I think that this boy has done nothing but make it abundantly obvious that he is a boy yeah every every scan which we've had so many scans as pregnancy like I don't think people realize the difference between like going from you know your typical like three scans in a pregnancy to like we had three scans before we got to the end of the first trimester. We have had so many scans. Yeah. To the point where I literally asked my doctor, I was like, is this a safe? Is this okay? Just cracking me up right now that our boys are in the studio listening into us. Yeah. You mean Griffin went on a couple dates this past year? That's right. You guys went on two different dates together, which was a blast. You know dose. That's right. An ice cream date and a date to a show. Yep. Uh, so here's here's my own fear now. Like now that we're having a third, I'm like, I know how close our two are right now together. I feel that. Yeah. I feel that. It's like their twins. People ask me all the time if they're twins. I don't want this third kid to get left out. So I'm like, we got to create, we got to create a buddy for this third kid as quickly as possible. Seriously? Yeah. And we're going to have to push through, we're going to have to just like muscle through the tough newborn stage muscle through, you know, maybe having two under two again. We can't do that. I think that would be, I don't actually don't even think we're like allowed to do that unless we have a V back unless unless we do the V back. But that's my only the only thing I'm thinking about right now is like, we got to make sure this third kid has a buddy. I know. I know because Griffin all year such close buddies. Yeah. Okay, next question we have is, wait, what was that question? Oh, that was, did I feel a gendered appointment? Yeah. Okay, I mean, like, here's the thing. People, if people are going to weaponize that against me, then so be it, but like, that's just real and honest and like stemming completely from grief. So if people have any, was that, I didn't read the comments. Were they mad at me? Oh, no. Comments are great. Comments are great. Then we have all the offensive for comments. I didn't even read. Okay, next we have what has been the most exciting part of your pregnancy by far feeling kicks. I could literally cry or nothing about it. Every time, every time it happens, you're like, come here. I know women, that's literally the story of my life. Like, you have felt a lot of kicks, but like, he'll do something crazy. And then I mean, like, feel this. And then it's like, he literally is in there just like, he just freezes when I put my hand on your belly. Yes. I felt quite a few kips. Yeah, you have. I felt a good amount. How do you maintain energy while still being a mom up to other kids? You dig deep. Yeah. There's a reserve, a beneath exhaustion that you find. And once you get past like the point where you're like, I really want to take a nap. Once you push past that, it gets easier. I'll tell you what your secret power is. It's going to the gym. Yeah, I go to the gym. Also, don't stop. If you sit down, you're screwed. Have me yesterday. Yeah. And then I could barely make dinner. And it's okay. I mean, like, you drink caffeine. It's still okay to have caffeine. You just got to stay under, isn't it? 200 milligrams? Yeah. Everyone buddy might be different. You gotta talk to your doctor. Well, everyone has their own opinions on that. Everyone has their own opinions. No, that we're not doctors, but I think. But the medical advice from our doctor is under 200. And so I do have a half calf coffee in the morning, and usually a diet soda in the afternoon. That's wild. It's so crazy. It's super crazy that you're doing that. What are your registry must have from overwhelmed first time mom? This is somebody that like has no idea what's even like get on the registry. Okay. Yeah. Obviously for as a third time mom, it looks so different. My sweet friends are throwing me a shower, which makes me so happy. And I feel I honestly like why am I like this? I feel guilty that they're throwing me a shower. Yeah, why do you feel guilty? I don't know. I just am like no one go out of your way from your place seriously. Anyway, I just think about how blessed we've been. I'm like, I do not want to ever like, I don't know, take from anyone. But I just ask like I was like, well, first of all, I said no one get me literally anything. And then they say put on their diapers and wipes, which I think is very, very great. And honestly, that's one of the only things you can really bank on as a first time mom. Yes. Is that you're gonna want diapers and wipes because every baby has their own preferences, some things you think you'll use. You don't know how you're necessarily going to feed your baby X, Y and Z. What binkies they're going to like. My recommendation is spend the extra money on the good diapers. Don't get the cheapest, you know, low, low, lower on the totem pole diapers. And every baby likes a different diaper. Or needs a different diapers. Because when we get the cheap like target diapers, our babies would poop through those every single time. Like are you talking about the store brand? Yeah, like the great value version or whatever it don't. Don't do that because then you're going to have like so many poop stands in the clothes constantly taking that out of their outfits. I would say I'm a huge fan of a swaddle, a good swaddle. For when there are tiny, tiny newborns, you really like the Ollie swaddle. And but this this baby, we're using the new taking care of baby swaddle, which I'm really excited about because it doesn't have Velcro. You've like met Kara, right? Like aren't you? Are you and Kara friends? I feel like I would say I'm free. I feel like she would maybe say it too. I don't know. Really? I don't know. But yeah, I did have to refrain from kissing her on the mouth when I first met her. She did. She did like save our lives. She did. When Griffin was not sleeping at first. Like through 10 months, we're like, what do we do? We did her course. I'm really excited about her new swaddle, though, because there's no Velcro. So when you're like trying to change them at night, they can stay because you know that Velcro in the middle and I was like, they're waking up. It's like jarring. It's silent, but it gets so tight too, though. And it's so comfy. So I'm really excited about that one. You just need a good swaddle, really. Get a sound machine. Sleep tent. I mean, we're a fan of the sleep tent when they get like a little older. So the summer pod. Yeah, when they're a newborn, they don't need that, but the summer pod is great when they get older because then because then it's like the lighting is consistent every time they have a nap. Can I car seat? We really recommend Duna's. We love Duna's. We're going to be getting a new one because we use the heck out of it. You know what? I can talk about baby products forever. The slumber pod can be annoying to set up and tear down, but I do think it makes our kids nap longer or it did. Now we've actually grown out of that. Our youngest doesn't even use the sleep tent anymore. We've graduated at almost three years old, but I think you are bringing it to Disneyland. Here's what I'm doing differently this baby. I am going to whenever we do use a bottle, I'm going to use glass bottles. Yeah. That's good. Why? Why? Why glass bottle? No plastics. I'm just kidding. I also just think it makes sense if you're warming up something and putting it in plastic. I see. Oh, yeah. You're kind of like on an anti-plastic kick recently. Just a bit. You watch a documentary about plastics, didn't you? Well, think about you're heating it up in plastic. I was going to heat up my frozen piece and the plastic bag and you were like absolutely nuts. I didn't say that. I was like just put it in your dish. You smacked my eukaryotic shot. No, I did it. Yeah. I will do glass bottles. I also just feel like they're probably easier to clean because you can get them hotter. I don't know. I feel like this is a hard thing for me to conceptualize right now is having a newborn. What is? We have done zero prep. If that's not obvious already. Thank you to Wayfair for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. If you guys like our coffee table, guess what? It's from Wayfair. It's definitely a staple inside our house. 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And if you are in the same boat as us, this added service at an affordable price is honestly priceless. You can shop with Wayfair verified a.k.a. your shortcut to good stuff. Their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10 point quality inspection. So you know you're getting a quality piece. No matter your budget. Get prepped for patio season for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com. Wayfair every style, every home. This is from Amy in the UK. What is the number one thing you do differently the third time around? For me, it's chill to f out. Yeah. Like like it's not that big of a deal, you know? Yeah. Something as simple as your kid, your baby crying. Like wait 60 seconds. And if they stop crying, like you don't need to rush it. Like the second arcade. I remember when you were so anxious as a new mom. Yeah, I'm gonna chill the f out. You were like this. Our kids didn't die. And then like I would sprint like over and like I was just all and it just like my nervous system was like fried. Like I was just constantly sprinting. Like every second he made a peep. It's like he might have just kind of like uh and it's like oh my gosh, what's that like you know just so just chill chill and the f out. I think is what we've learned and I think you kind of have to like I think it's impossible to be that on edge. No, you were three children four children. Yeah, you will literally die and so there's like been funny clips I've seen on the internet of like how parenting looks like when people- people have like three kids or four kids. And so what could be like? - Well, I also think that having a date of like past experience. - Yeah. - So now I feel like we know what different cries sound like. What are ones that are like alarming? Like we're gonna sprint for that. - Yes. - Even for like our kids now. Like I told Abigail last night at Family Dinner, I was like, oh no, it's gotta be a little louder before we, like before we go upstairs. Like it intervenes. Like you know now you have like this experience, you're able to distinguish whereas like every sound or a kid made, even if it wasn't even a cry, was like the most like 100% alarm for us at least. - Yeah. - Or the one. Like I'm in a very different place now to introduce a newborn than I was with both of our first two. Just the way that my community looks, like where we're living. Like all the friendships I have, like when we think about it, when we had our first, none of our friends had babies. I didn't have any friends that were moms. We had no family out here. We had, we didn't actually really know anybody out here. And so now it just looks so different and I will just never take that lightly. Like the support and friendships and just, yeah. We just have roots now and that feels, that feels like that has just eliminated so much stress 'cause I honestly feel like a lot of that anxiety. I mean, I don't know if it was like diagnosable anxiety but like that on edge, every first time parents gonna feel that to some degree. But like you talking about like your nervous system always being activated, like that's not gonna, I don't think that that could possibly be the case this time. Because of just our like circumstances being so different. - Our next question is just, when is the kid born? - Well, when the kid wants to come would be the best answer but we're anticipating probably like the first week of August. - Yeah. - His due date is August 11th. - Yep. And right now we are waiting to hear news from our doctor but we're probably likely going to have a scheduled C section and they do those like the week before. So that first week of August probably. - Any, this is from Camille. She wants to know if you have any insane pregnancy cravings. - No, just everything. - What do you mean, but just everything? - Every food item. - You want to eat it all? - I can eat, yeah. - You can throw it down. - I'm hoping it slows down, gosh dang it. - I'm impressed. - What are you talking about? - I feel like my hardest time of day, I get really, really hungry like around lunchtime but where it's really hard is like, it's really hard to stop eating at the end of the day to like call it, like I just want to keep eating and eating and eating and eating. - You have some like really interesting food hacks for like eating, like eating to be full but then like managing like the health side of it. Like I've picked up, 'cause I'm, I was on a cut recently. I was trying to cut weight and cut seven pounds and part of that was using Abby's hard boiled egg method of just having hard boiled eggs for breakfast. - I feel like that really stems from like having a very big appetite and like also not wanting to spend a lot of time preparing food. I'm like, I want to get the things that are going to make me the fullest the fastest and keep me fullest the longest. - Yes. - Yeah. - So next one, how's Matt handling mood swings if any arise? Okay, okay, okay. I actually want to say this because we did that gender prediction, like fun old wives tales video, which totally was not meant to mislead people. This is literally, I went exactly as my symptoms, but the little caveat here is that I have been pregnant four times and three of them have been boys, one of them has been a girl and I will tell you my symptoms have been the same every single time, like two and see. Now I know other people experience differently but for me I've had the same symptoms every time. - So you're telling me the wives tales don't actually work? - I don't think so. I think that the only, I mean in my experience they have and I will say, but our ultrasound tech that has done so many of our scans, I asked her about them. I was like, have you found that any of them are like actually consistent? She was like, first of all, I think the heart rate one is bogus. She's like, there's nothing that could possibly relate to that. But then she's like, the only thing I do believe is that if you have heartburn, that your baby will have a lot of hair. - Interesting. - Like the moms that report the biggest heart, the most heartburn, I see like the most hair on an ultrasound. - Interesting. - Which I will say, I feel like our babies haven't really had a lot of hair. - I realize they could like see. - And I don't. - I don't know they could see hair in the ultrasound. That's great. - Well gosh, this week we're doing a whole echocardiogram for the baby. - Oh my gosh, is that Friday? - Mm hmm. - Wow. - Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, I wasn't trying to mislead anyone. Like someone at my gym was like, so what are you having? And I'm so excited. I was like, this is before we get announced. I was like having a boy. And she's like, oh, I see what you did there. I was like, no, I wasn't trying to do anything. That's literally the symptoms I've had. But on that video, I said that I was moody. But I actually kind of want to recant that. I feel like I haven't been that moody. - I feel, yeah. - Now it's the only one that can be the judge of that though. - No comment on that. - Okay. (laughing) - Don't be honest, seriously. I can tell you. - No comment. - You think I've been moodyer than normal though? - I think, I think you've had to be more resilient 'cause you have two boys. Like you can't just sit back. So I think you've just been like. - Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. - Getting things done for these boys. - You can tell you've been less resilient. And you've been, and you've been, inspiration. (laughing) (laughing) - Thank you, that's how I feel. - You inspired me every day. - That's how I feel every single day. - I'm gonna tell you all the time, like thank you for growing my babies. - You do, honestly. - No, I will say that I don't feel as emotionally unstable as I have previous pregnancies. But, you know, that's probably therapy when you really think about it. More than hormones or anything. - I think the longer we do this stuff, we just get smarter, you know? - I do feel more teary, like, than when I wasn't pregnant. - Like, I feel like I'm pretty quick to get teary. - Oh, yeah. - Do you think that? - Yes, yes. I saw a video. - Do you pay attention to me? - I do pay, you know, yeah, no, you're dead. I'm thinking like my brain's on a different planet right now, 'cause I'm thinking about Alex and John, who we've had on the podcast before. They posted a video about like, when it's, it was something about like, when-- - We just started liking each other. - Yeah, yeah. - Like everyone's asking about maybe number two, but we just started liking each other. - Exactly, yes, that's funny. - I thought that was so funny, because it's relatable, you know? - Yeah, maybe I'm naive, but I feel like, by the third time, you're kind of just like, you already are anticipating certain things, so. - I think when life is easier, it's just easier to not, like, bicker and like fight over like this stupidest crap with. - Yeah, you're like, that's just how they-- - With your loved one, you know? Yeah, so. - But, I will say, I'm so curious with baby number three, I've been so interested in this whole birth order thing. - Uh-huh. - And I'm always fed videos now of like, ever wonder why your third baby is so chill and happy, and it's like because they're a gift for surviving your second, which I will say, our kids quite literally follow birth order pretty like, to a T, and I don't mean that in like, a condescending stereotypical way, but like, they just follow those patterns. Like, I mean, either of our kids are cautious though, so that's where I'm kinda like, what about that? Our first is definitely more cautious than our second. So, anyway, I'm just like so curious 'cause I keep telling Matt that this guy's gonna be so chill, but also this baby has been extremely active. - Our second is so resilient. I mean, he can just fall and like, I've seen him like, actually get hurt before, and he just like gets back up and acts like nothing else. - He doesn't say anything. - He's so tough. - He just, like, rubs it and then he moves on. Like, our dog could like, scratch him, and I'm like, ooh, that's not good. Let's get pretzel away from him, and he's just like, will not. - He doesn't come back. - Like, I see other kids that happen to him, and they're like, oh, they just freak out, like they act like they're dying, and Oggy's just like, I'm fine. It's a little, it's merely a flesh wound. - I know, that's what happened. He had, they both have like, scratches, and I was like, - Yeah, what do you, okay, what do you do about this? 'Cause it makes me so upset when our dog does like, scratch them, or sometimes they'll, like play, I know we're gonna, we're taking her, we're getting her trained more, but I think it's just, part of it, like, you can't stop. - She's a puppy, yeah. - She's a puppy, she's just trying to play. She doesn't mean to hurt them. She's never like, actually hurt them. It's mainly just like a scratch. - I know, but I hate it. - A playful, a playful bite, which like, is basically just like a glorified scratch, but I don't like it though. - I know, she's gonna put her outside. - Yeah, I also catch pretzel licking Oggy's face, and Oggy just busts out. - Oh, they love her, they're fine, they're fine. - Pretzel is like one of Oggy's best friends. - She's just a puppy. - Yeah, she's fun to have around. If your baby couldn't hear it, one personality trait from each of you, what would you choose? - Okay, well, I'm gonna choose the personality trait from you that I would want the baby to. - I'm gonna say your personality. I think it's-- - What does that mean? - That's not a whole question. - You're in part, your entire personality. You make these like big, you do these big, like Lucille Ball, like facial expressions, and the boys pick that up from you. I think like yesterday, Griff had woke up from his nap, and he was, yeah, making just like powdery face. - I had just done that face, and then he went to for his nap, he was, and I was like, I wonder where he gets that from. - The apple doesn't fall apart of the tree. - For you, I would love for our kids to have like your creation. activity and your passion. - Thank you. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think you are, you're like very social, maybe you're social, you're so much more social than me. I don't know. - You're so social. - I'm social, but then here's my problem is I'm very, very social on the front end, but then I'm out of sight out of mind, baby. So if I'm not in the same room as you and seeing you, I kinda just sometimes I can forget that you do this. They always introduce everyone that comes in our house. They're like, hi, this is, and they introduce everybody. There's very friendly. - I love that they, I really love that they also will go up to random people and kindly ask if they can pet their dog. I think it's so funny. Griffin does that every time we're at the park in a dog walk side, - And then I'll be like, what's their name? - He stops everything and goes and asks people what their dog's name is. - This guy has a conversation. - As if he can pet the dog. - They love having people over to the house. They tell me every day, they're like, I love having, I love when people come over, like which people come over very often, they love it. - Yeah, so I think they are social and I think they are gonna be very creative and passionate. All you for sure is very passionate. - Thank you to RocketMoney for sponsoring this portion of our podcast. I haven't checked our RocketMoney subscriptions in a couple months and I know that we have something that we need to cancel. - We certainly do. - RocketMoney, if you haven't heard of it, makes it so easy to find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. You can do it all within their app. Gone are the days of using spreadsheets and doing all this like meticulous math work. Like RocketMoney just makes it easy for you to see what's coming in, what's going out. And then when you do have those unwanted subscriptions, you can just cancel them. - That is so important to us because I feel like just living in 2026, everything is a subscription and a lot of them just get added on without your knowledge. And so we routinely go into RocketMoney and just seamlessly cancel those ones that we aren't using because they track your subscriptions and you have the ability, like Matt said, to cancel within the app with just a few taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions. - You can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports. You also receive real-time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds and low balances, which I find that super helpful. It's kind of like your personal financial buddy. - RocketMoney is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let RocketMoney help you reach your financial goals faster. Join rocketmoney.com/unplanned. That's rocketmoney.com/unplanned. RocketMoney.com/unplanned. - Do we have, this is from Sophia. So excited to hear your Halloween costume ideas for three boys. Oh yeah, we should do like an epic Halloween thing. - Well, one of them is basically gonna be a jelly bean. - Okay, come on, let's figure out our family costumes this year. - Yeah, like two months old. - What do we think, we gotta figure it out, what are we doing? Minions? - We gotta figure it out right now. - Wait, what if I-- - This is literally the lat-- - What if your Scarlett overkill? I'm Flurb. Isn't it Flurb? - No, Victor. - Victor. - Flurb? - No. Gosh, I'm forgetting the name. No, I think it's, I think it's Scarlett over, no, Victor is from the OG movie. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, you're talking about Flurb. - The new Minions movie, yeah. If our boys were like the-- - It's not Flurb, it's certainly not Flurb. - I swear, I'm looking it up right now. - It's the Minions movie with Scarlett overkill. Minions. - And then our kids be minions? Why am I gonna be Scarlett overkill? - I'm right. This is Flurb right here. That guy. - Herb. Herb. - You. - No, Flurb, it's herb. That would be funny. If our kids are minions, we have like a little baby newborn minion and your Scarlett overkill. - I feel like minions are right to the drawing board. - Or what I wanted to do last year, you would look so hot in this outfit is Black Widow. - Two months, I was part of them. - And then I, you would look so good. And then I would be Captain America. I gotta hit the gym a bit more. But I could be Captain America. - I need something like a nursing. - Augie would be Hulk, Griffin could be Spidey, and then maybe newborn as Ant-Man. - Here's the thing. We're gonna be exactly whatever our kids want to be. And the problem is that they're probably not gonna be coordinated themselves. - We also did kind of do-- - Like last year we had a slinky dog with the Hulk as the tail. - That's true. - Let's remember that. Let's remember the type of planning that went into all of our Halloween's past. - But it's okay, how we got inappropriate though, 'cause slinky dog's head fell off, and then it looked, it just looks mildly inappropriate. It just like looked like a massive weiner. It's what it looked like. - Matthew. - Because there was no, yeah, it was weird. - Anyway, so we're just not, here's the thing. Don't expect much from us from Halloween. It's just, that you follow other families for that, you don't follow us for that. - Everybody wants to see an aesthetic. - We don't have that, we don't do that, we just have fun, then we go trick or treating. And I wish we, trust me, I have mad respect for the families I do. - Augie's really been into Iron Man. - I guarantee that Augie will be some type of superhero or bad guy. Probably Darth Vader, honestly. - All right. - And Griffin will probably be, he'd be a dinosaur. We're gonna have Darth Vader and a dinosaur, and then whatever we want this baby to be. - Next up, we got, how do you prevent stretch marks? - I don't, I mean, I use, - You still like rub like this oil stuff. - I do rub oil on my belly, but I've also heard that that doesn't help. - Like it's not proven to do anything? - Yeah, I'm sure you could, here's the thing. If you really want to prevent stretch marks, I think that you could do some serious research and find out what to do for that. - It's just never been something that I really have gotten ahead of. I have them. - Yeah, didn't you look great? - Thank you. - You can wonder, you look wonderful. - I have them and they don't bother me, so I don't really like, I do try to moisturize my skin a lot. - You know what's crazy is the further you got from your C-section, the more the star faded and faded and faded and then when you got pregnant, yeah, this is switching subjects, but then when you got pregnant, I feel like the line darkened again. - Darkened again. - Why is that? - My hormones in your skin, or it's not the hormones in your skin, but it's your hormones, so like when I got pregnant, no, so here's the thing. I had my stretch marks when I purple when I was pregnant, kind of purple, like darker reddish purple. Then when I wasn't pregnant, like the further out I got, the more they would fade to like white. And then I got pregnant again, immediately I was like, maybe I don't have stretch marks anymore. They all stood out again because they got more purpley again. So yeah, I mean, I have 'em. I try to just moisturize my skin. I use oil on my belly, but I'm not super convinced that they've moved the needle a ton. So I'm hesitant to like recommend anything. I honestly just think it's something that I'm just like, yeah, that's gonna happen. M-B-D. - This is from Jessica, does Matt put the right amount of ice cubes in your drinks now? - You do, but I think it's because every single time I button it by saying three scoops. - Three scoops. It's now no longer a metric of cubes. It's a metric of scoops because we have a pebble ice maker. Which by the way. - Sometimes you're still four scoops. - This might be kind of crazy that I'm saying this, but I've also enjoyed regular ice now again. - What? (laughing) - I'm really glad you came out and knocked that. - I just, I think someone needs to say it because you use pebble ice enough. It starts to, it loses the, the whoa. - Matt, stop. That is such a hot take. - Then you gotta go back to the thicker cubes. And the thicker cubes, you know what? They don't melt as fast. You actually even use the regular, you use the freezer, no, but you use the regular ice cubes in your ice coffee in the morning. - 'Cause my coffee's so hot, it's gonna melt it so fast. - That's what I'm saying. 'Cause then when I put in-- - But I want my water warmer than my coffee. - But when I put in pebble ice into my ice coffee, the pebble is just melt away, and then it's all water, and it's watered down. You gotta, you need differentiation in your ice cubes. - Right, there's a different ice cube for every occasion. - Matt, what are your honest thoughts about being one of three boys? So I guess this one is for me. - You loved that. - I did love it. That's the crazy thing is I kind of envisioned what we're having now for our family before we even had this. - I kind of did too though. Like I, before we had kids, I don't know if you could ever find the footage, but I'm like, I feel like we're gonna have all boys. - Yeah, why did I, and I kind of wanted to have three boys? I thought they'd be kind of, 'cause I just grew up with that. I thought it'd be kind of fun to run it back. And then, then I didn't want to run it back 'cause everything we went through and then now I'm like, oh, I guess this is kind of sick. - We still have our daughter. - Yeah. - But just not, like we wanted to. - Yeah, yeah. - But yeah, having three boys feels very appropriate for us. I said, I told you yesterday, I was like, "No, I feel like I'm kind of girly." So, like, what are we doing here in the three boys? - You were saying you do all this fancy stuff, like with your hair, your makeup, and my-- - I've been into girly things. - And I'm like, you're really hot too, so I feel like that has to count for something. - I do think girl moms are just so much more fashionable and trendy than boy moms. So, I'm gonna have to just, I'm gonna have to outsource some of that. My nieces will help me out. - Yeah, what are we gonna do? - Brielle and Vivian will help me. - Yeah, you know, I really was stuck in my head that you just keep having this same gender, and then-- - It's really hot. - Why did it threw me off that, our brother and our sister-in-law, that they have one of each? - I think you're still processing that. - I'm still processing that. I can't believe it. Post-partum question. Have you experienced post-partum rage? If so, how did you handle it? - Um. yeah probably I just went crazy um you know I feel like you have this gift of postpartum with where you have this like brain fog it's not good but it is also a gift in a way where you kind of like forget like there's this amnesia now there's some iconic moments postpartum with specifically our second that brought me to my knees that haven't exactly worn away yet they're pretty fresh so um yeah I think we have been very explicit first of all when you're preparing for when we were pregnant with Emerson we were already very explicit about like okay this is what we need postpartum both of us but specifically me like what I need postpartum and then um now we've continued those same conversations like I've been more explicit about like what I need as far as like oh I'm gonna need like this amount of recovery time I'm gonna need this amount of like you know outsourcing this help with older kids at this point I'm gonna help with the baby in this way like just like kind of getting on top of those conversations because I think it's really hard with like your first and your second because they're both big transitions like where like it's pretty different because you you know you've never had a baby before and then you've never had a baby with a toddler and I know that having a baby with two toddlers will be different but we have this like you know past experience in our belt it gets a little bit more like certain aspects of the second were easier but certain aspects were way harder especially because I had a c-section versus a vaginal delivery and so now we just now we have a lot more experience to build on and our tool belt you are but to answer that I feel like yeah I definitely had some explosive moments postpartum that I will always feel a little bit like wow first of all feel I feel like ashamed of them and second of all I feel like wow how did that even happen I think that I tell people I mean like we have friends right now that are going through postpartum and I feel bad for them there's not like it's not good for anybody you know no one no one is like I don't know if anybody that's like postpartum is my favorite it's like it's the best I do know people like that are you serious oh okay well the newborn bubble man what did they what did they do oh okay yeah it probably it does change things when you got like a baby like I feel like the I do see a common theme of like a busier call a key baby yeah makes for a very different postpartum experience yeah yes and like people that we know they have struggled more have a bus to eat call a key baby yeah so yeah your whole range can be I just keep telling myself we probably couldn't have two call babies a row yeah please never I hope I never have to stitch this and it's like another screaming newborn constantly okay okay no shader judgment but how long did take you to process the miscarriage and try again that is such a loaded question because I just I feel like taking to process that's almost insinuating that there's like some type of finish line for this type of thing yeah and I definitely tried to front end a lot of like the processing of like that I could early on by just like eliminating all distractions and just like sitting with my thoughts and feelings doing a lot of journaling a lot of walks a lot of just quiet and a lot on my own but then also a lot of like talking with other people and in therapy too but there's always so much of that you can front end like I feel like at recently there's been a new wave of like grief that's happened and like I told you like literally yesterday I was like I did not expect this to happen right now and it's not like yeah it's not like me getting pregnant was like okay I did it I'm done I did I did the processing we're ready to move on it's like I just made peace at the like very early on that this was gonna be probably a lifelong grieving process now do I think grieving and processing your emotions are the same thing I don't know but I'm kind of putting them as the same in a way early on after losing her we knew that we wanted to yeah like that was like our main goal was like to have like a redemptive pregnancy experience and um but they were like it was an isolation it it wasn't like this was part of our healing for Emerson like yeah in a way it does help that but it wasn't like this was like our big solution because we fully we got pregnant with this baby with our fourth pregnant you know we got pregnant this fourth time fully understanding more than ever that we could lose this pregnancy yeah and that is just a totally different experience you know but then you still do it yeah I feel like you I mean there's nothing wrong with feeling done like like being in so much pain that you can't move on out of that but I think redemption was a really good word that you used it definitely felt redemptive it felt exciting I think it wasn't it what wasn't expected for us was the pain not going away the fear not going away and I guess that's just something that like I will feel I will not feel like good until babies until we're holding it yeah yeah how many weeks are you that's a that's another question people are asking this comes out I'll be 25 right wow yeah because tomorrow's 24 when this comes out it'll be a week from now so yeah it'll be 25 weeks that's so close to one oh my gosh tomorrow's week of viability yeah 24 weeks that's amazing wait that's so good yeah it is good that must feel awesome yes and no I mean we had a missed miscarriage we didn't think anything was wrong yeah but yes it definitely does the fact that I can feel movements and start to like gauge that that feels really good thank you to blessy for sponsoring this portion of today's episode people always talk about silk pillowcases but why yeah they're cooling but there are so many other benefits for your skin and hair I switched to a silk pillowcase 18 months ago now I have seen amazing benefits and my hair and in my skin the major benefit to me is I don't want to use heat excessively on my hair every day and I feel like with a silk pillowcase there's so much less friction so it helps my hair keep it's style way better way less friends and Abby has really good hair come on I mean look at look at how lovely that hair is and I also feel like with my nighttime skin care it's not absorbing it like my old pillowcases were and therefore allowing my skin to receive the benefits of it so much more and that's exactly why blessy created a 100 percent pure mulberry silk pillowcase made of the highest quality 22 mame silk materials that's a fun word to say mame exactly 22 mame that's how you know it's the good stuff there's still pillowcases reduce frizz and breakage in just days they also help prevent breakouts reduce fine lines wrinkles and sleep creases blessy has sold over three million silk pillowcases and has been featured in vogue Oprah daily and good morning America so you know it's good and because you are a listener Blissies offering 60 nights risk-free plus an additional 30 percent off when you shop at Blissie dot com slash unplanned that's B L I S S Y dot com slash unplanned and use code unplanned to get an additional 30 percent off your skin and hair will thank you another question I saw come up a lot is names that we like but won't be using for this baby we didn't really have any backups you know it's funny is we had we had an entire like list we had like a book of names oh do you want to read my baby names that we don't even like anymore like yeah yeah cuz like I want to say at one point we like the name lily you know and that one just like completely still like it you know completely when lily work that come from I think we like the name like Oliver and then and then that name like we have even talked about that name then then there was Emmett like you really like the name Emmett for the longest time we have our girl name already locked in if we ever have a girl a second girl you know what I mean was person me for you yes but see even that girl name that you just whispered to me that was something that you came up with like in the past six months that these are our list of names that we've had since we were at high school what okay wait read them that's actually so fun no oh no don't read okay well one of them the names that we like considered okay can I also just say like I'm not I don't want to offend anybody we like all these names still we're just not using them yeah Quincy Quincy that's where that was an old name Abbie's old you know hometown hometown Quincy uh Finley I still really like that name I would love the name Finley for a girl okay I hope that we might use that we might use that so I guess we're just giving our names that we might also potentially be using which is fine because you know what they're out there uh we didn't come up with them we once liked the name Emmett a lot we wanted that change for you like you convince me of loving the name Emmett and then that one just like oh you still like that one I do that was on the table it could be maybe we haven't locked this name in like we thought one time we said Luca but now I feel like maybe not anymore because it's a lot I don't know good news is that Griffin was on our list Griffin Griffin is on this list But no Griffin you said the name Griffin like right after you were pregnant for the first time I liked the name rad for like boy number three or four, but you didn't like it Why do I not like that one? Sorry, which I still a good name offended someone that named their kid rad We like the name Sloan. Gosh see this is stupid. We got in trouble We like guys there was a clip of our podcast We were talking about like baby named being out of control and like there were people that got upset Yeah, I know. So I'm sorry. Why are we doing this if we don't like your baby's name? You don't have to like our baby's name. We don't need to tell each other I guess you are listening to our podcast so you're gonna hear us say you don't like your baby's name I know here's another thing too when people got really mad at us about that It was about someone that commented on the video that we posted, but it wasn't our comment Yeah, we also never saw the comment. Yeah, and then it got a lot of likes Not by this is so rabbit holy, but what I was gonna say is that a bunch people retaliated and told us that they hated the name Griffin I know and do you know how much that offended me zero zero because I like the name I love the name Griffin If you don't like the name Griffin, that's totally fine. Something's wrong with you That's the opposite of what we're saying. It's not a judgment call on them. It's just like I'm judge I think no personal preference. I just think that they're silly for not like the name Griffin I think it's best name personally you what's really ironic is that anyone that has our kids names. I automatically love them So like August on these games I was like I have to root for him because his name is August and I love that it yeah, you need to go through the rest of these really quickly Let's hear him baby. Sloan Sorry, I don't like that. Okay, dang it. That one's a really good one writer. I don't know. I don't think that one would be right or from pop patrols Pretty sick. Well, that's also why I was like me. You don't use it anymore I like these two names, but you didn't like them what Ferris. I kind of Yeah, I know. Okay. Dang it. There's Bueller Ramsey Ramsey. They really like that one You really like the name Fletcher. Let's just name our kid Dave Ramsey, you know I do love the name Fletcher. I put honestly guys we were this I if it weren't for Abby you you basically picked out all our kids knit you basically picked them out And then I just say if I like them or not. Yeah, you pick some that I was like I spend more time thinking about it You think about the names a lot but like Fletcher. Decker on there. I basically the story Fletcher is I set on On a like on a on a ski lift next to this guy named Fletcher and we were both snowboarding and we chatted it up And then at the end of talking he was like so cool and I'm like what's your name dude? He's like Fletcher And I'm like I'm naming my son Fletcher. That's so sick Okay, it's not off the table. Not off the table. Okay, I said Decker and then This one is the this next one is our baby's name Oh, yes, I won't say it. We winner. That's actually that was a question that somebody asked It was when will you be announcing the name of baby will be will be before when the baby's born. Okay, right I feel like when the baby's born I Have our girl name already if we ever have a girl. Oh, yeah, and she's getting my middle name. Okay See now I'm sad that I said I'm sad that we just said the name Fletcher because I'm like I really want to name a kid flat. We can use it for this kid No, we've already we would throw we would throw everyone the F off because we've told all of our friends and family and our children and our children They'd be like he his name changed What they would think something else happened. Which is bad. Oh gosh. Yeah, that was actually okay Speaking of the name speaking of death people were actually asking trying to find the question But people were asking about how we've talked to our kids about death because with the miscarriage We told them that that happened. They were probably confused about what happened to Emerson No, but actually we've continued conversations just randomly and I feel like they have a really good understanding of what happened for like a kid But what's sad is the other day there's like two or three days ago Griffin goes He was talking about everything he wanted and he was saying that he he wanted everyone in our family to For their bodies to not stop working. Yeah, what do you say about again? How did that happen? Well, I mean it's appropriate for them to know let like you know life isn't forever and That's like a gift and we have to also take care of ourselves and be safe. Yeah but we We explained to the kids that when we lost Emerson that like her body stopped working. Yeah and I also think that like part of the motivation for finding out the gender early this time and like Deciding a name really early was because like I feel like we were introducing the kids to her at the time that we were like telling her that she'd passed yeah, and so Yeah, we were talking on the baby and we call him by name all the time with the kids and they're like He was like I really don't want his body to stop working and I was like yeah me too I think I think his body's gonna keep working and be really healthy and he's like yeah Like Emerson like her body stopped working and that was sad like he talks to us that way like we talk about her and like We missed her and we'll just always remember her. Yeah, and it's in my opinion. It's age-appropriate for them Yeah, but also it it does access the full depth of what happened Do you think Emerson's soul came back with this new baby in any way? That's a question to him was asking I don't think that but if that's Healing for other people to believe or experience then yeah That's good, but for me, I don't I like to think of like when I see a rainbow. It's her saying hi. Yeah Yeah Yeah, me too Yeah, I guess we'll never know but it's like I'm gonna think about the happy stuff, you know Here's a thing even if you don't believe in it that way you can just say like or it can also just be a good reminder of her Yeah, rainbows have like a different meaning now. Yeah, they really do like they are every time I see one I just actually do pictures of rainbows the other day. Yeah, so you see those. Yeah, I thought that rainbow was so pretty I love when you do that. I really appreciate when you do that Me missing tissues Because you're pregnant and you're a lady and you've been through some really hard things All right, you've got every right to feel the way that you need to feel this is as good as questions like so It's like it's like the perfect question right now. Are you guys doing all right? How do you are you doing all right? Yeah, you are doing all right. Yeah, why? I feel like there's just like This misconception like you go through something really hard and you're weaker Like you're fragile like you're you know, you're broken but Like what people don't realize is that people have gone through grief like you And like have gone through like tough things yeah Stronger versions of who they were before so I mean I will say that like I went into this pregnancy fully knowing that we could lose that this baby and it's not guaranteed And I feel stronger because of that This fear doesn't go away, right? But I know that I can't overcome it. Yeah, and so that breeds a new sense of confidence in a new strength entering new situations like you kept telling me like Abby, it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen when I would like tell you with my fears I was like no it could yeah, and that's why this is brave and like saying that Felt better than like so I'm gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. You know what I mean. Yeah, it's always hard to know what to say In those moments. No, I and I'm not so you said anything wrong. Yeah, I'm like I don't like if you're needing comfort for me I don't want to be like well. Yeah, this Like you yeah, I wanted to say yeah, it's not gonna happen. Yeah, and at some degree But I also just wanted you to realize like If you could just show me a magic ball and actually mean that it's not going to happen. Yeah, then this would be a lot This would require no bravery of me. You know what I mean Because I would know that I'd have a guaranteed positive outcome But the fact that I don't have a guaranteed positive outcome and I'm still choosing to do it again. Yeah is What's brave something that's like a thought I've been wrestling with is like there's no guaranteed positive how outcome for literally anyone Yeah, there's no guaranteed possible what a positive thought that I was just it's but I think that's like what makes it I think just like life in general like it Yeah, to like to approach life through this like lens of positivity through lens of just like abundance and and I don't know also just like fully taking every opportunity to Live and do things and yeah, and and not spend your life worrying not spend your life In misery because it's like you don't you just don't know Yeah, when your last day is I could I can die tomorrow. I have no idea. Wow, you know, so I I was talking to a guy who his like aunt or something got cancer and like died super quickly and she had like been been a saver and he was basically just like telling me to um To like not work as much He was like, he was like don't work as much go go like live a little bit more go have more fun You know, yeah, I feel like we've been loving a lot. We love a good life. Yeah. No, I think we are I think we know we're taking the kids to do New Zealand today. We do a lot. And also I know that's not for everybody. But like I feel like that has been like So good through this season of like loss and new pregnancy like Knowing that life is still moving forward and we're not stuck on what happened in the past and we're not anticipating What's happening in the future so much that we're out of standstill right now like having this busy full life While at times it feels like it's too much, but it's also just like it's just Like we are living we are living in the present and that has just been such a good thing for me right now. Oh, yeah Okay, I want to say this too, because the mom's that no, no. I had an anterior placenta with my second So I didn't feel a ton of kicks early on But he really surely made up for it by the end of the pregnancy that man could kick through that placenta like crazy But I know that's not the case for everyone with an anterior placenta It's probably just the case for people with an anterior placenta and a crazy baby, but This placenta is not anterior so it's posterior so therefore I can feel kicks I could feel kicks very early I felt kicks at 17 weeks, which was just an amazing gift given our past circumstances with losing a baby at 17 weeks, but Now I feel so so many kicks and it is just the most Like it just gives me so much joy like I can feel him right now like I feel I'm a lot and I don't know He's wild. He's a wild man. He's over a pound. He's ready to go Thank you to good wipes for sponsoring this portion of today's episode Gut health is all the rage these days, but let's talk about butt health We say that it's time to leave that dry scratchy toilet paper in the past and show that beautiful booty That deserved I can't believe we say that. That's hilarious. Oh wow good wipes has created an actually flushable wipe It is made with plant-based fibers so they break down easily They come in a variety of gentle scents such as rose water, shake, cocoa, lavender, and botanical bliss Along with fragrance free for the unscented lovers They just launched a collab with another one of your favorite brands Oli pop treat your butt as good as your gut You can only find this new collab at Walmart. What an iconic We genuinely use and love good wipes in our household I think it's a great thing to have especially with kids We don't have the most thorough wipers and this definitely helps get the job done clean and safely for our pipes Because we definitely do not want to ruin our plumbing grab the new peaches and cream or any other good wipes item at Walmart So you can upgrade your restroom routine and see how it feels to actually be clean by any two packs of good wipes at Walmart or Walmart.com text them your receipt and get reimbursed almost immediately for one of them. For more details head to goodwipes.com/unplan Again, that's goodwipes.com/unplan to snag a free pack of good wipes from Walmart. This question kind of cracks me up It says how did you get pregnant after you told God know with your IUD so if you just get an IUD out then then you can get pregnant again It's that. Can I tell you I feel like that's a really small view of God You elaborate elaborate on that you think if God really if if a God of the universe really wanted someone to have a baby And they're like you're having one. It's like oh dang it bro. What happened to Mary come on Dang it. They have an intrauterine device. Oh, no The intrauterine device is blocking the power like I mean Yeah, and the God of the universe is not gonna bow to an IUD be like dang it. She was meant to have one I love what's the saying that like if you're if you're doing natural planning natural family planning You're planning to have a family naturally. Yeah, I think that's true. Everyone that I know that's done that is Got naturally I will say I don't think I don't see a world where we use birth control again We're doing pulling prey for this next this next round I think by the time you put it is not been effective for us babe That did not work with the other thing. Well do other things. I think we would see a more natural option. Okay All right, this one is a little unhinged But I'm just gonna like leave a blank where this person said a potty word It said do you still blank during pregnancy? Matthew James and the answer is yes. Of course. Why would you not there's a lot of reasons Why you would not do you think do you think do you think this intimacy is better during pregnancy or Yeah, be honest. I mean, I think that's an appropriate ask you can just say it is mean it's it's okay But I think the only challenge with like intimacy during pregnancy is as when you get to the stage where the belly is Where it becomes a logistical problem. Yeah, I get kind of limits you to Activities, but you still find a way, you know where there is a will there is a way that is exactly right, baby and Last but not least. Oh, can we do two more? This is actually it says I want a third baby, but my husband doesn't any advice Oh That is so tough What are you doing that situation? I actually have no idea what to say. I don't know. That's a really tough place to be in Yeah, you can just bully him into saying yes No, no, no, no, no. I would say just if you do that then he could be then he could like resend you have an open and honest Conversation about where you're both coming from. Yeah, and then I would say let it rest for yeah for some time Like you both can sit on each other's like thoughts and Just like let it rest for I'm talking like a couple months. Yeah, and then revisit the conversation and be honest about any changes You both of you have come too because I do think you both should be on board for that But I will say I don't think I usually hear stories of people being like I regret having this child. Yeah, you know What's one name Matt likes that Abby hates just say it you can just say it I don't think and I've hated any of your names. You're hating in my names. No So then why and why don't we go with Fletcher for this case? I don't hate it. I'm fact. I was very open to it, right? It's okay. You'll come up like with the way cooler name for baby for the next baby You know whenever that happens. I think honestly you're really good at naming our babies You've named all of the babies if anybody needs any name suggestions. Just hollarettr girl right here She's an expert name baby name generator. You don't even need the baby generator apps. Just just talk to Abby Howard No, I think you have to know your baby and know what's right. I feel like I'm just in tune with our babies. Are we going on a baby moon? Is that happening? Oh man? Who's got the type? I want to go on one so bad. I know but like come on I think I can we should do like two nights two nights somewhere tropical Okay, I plan it. I'll plan it. Okay. I love baby moons. It's so much fun I love going to the spa. I want to just relaxing just hanging out together reading books Let's do it. Okay. Let's do a baby moon and then all you can come on all you can eat. Oh luxury. Let's go blessings We also have what plans you have in place to manage postpartum anxiety and/or depression Something we have said that we're gonna do differently this time is have nobody stay with us for X amount of time. I think we said the first month. Wait. No, this is genius So this is how this is we're dumb guys and we we just had like a bazillion people at our house when Abby was Freshly postpartum last time. I think that was just like way too much for you. I think we're hosting people I think it's what I thought I wanted but weirdly what you wanted was everyone out of the house Just you me and the newborn. That's it. Yeah, that's all you wanted and so this time what we're doing is we're only gonna have Abby and me in our newborn and we're sending the boys to be a grandma grandpa's First days and that way we can just focus on each other. They're not gonna be gone We gotta we say that talking about it like a couple days. Yeah For the first few days at home and then we'll see them all day during the days and then but just like at night Just me matting the baby to bond and really like intentionally. Yeah, like get bonded with this baby and that way And then for the first month, we're not gonna have anyone stay at our house and that way I can like fully focus on you except our family needs and everything that you need and you can focus on the baby and so that way Everyone's being taken care of. Yeah, yeah I think that'll be good because I feel like I thought that that's what I would have wanted both times and Turned out I don't think that's what I actually wanted so If you had any funny moments this pregnancy. Anything anything funny. Oh Yeah, I mean just the fact that every time we go get an ultrasound this baby won't Show his head but he'll show Yeah, why do they bring up the privates every time this baby? It's like it's gonna be a funny baby. Yeah Also just the fact that you know when you're pregnant, there's some Funny things that happen with your body. Yeah, it's all natural That's funny like the constant peeing peeing my pants. That is part of it Tutting yeah, you've been you've been dropping some bombs in the car It is a little smelly and why why don't you just say something? Can you just be like just red alert? I just absolutely absolutely ripped ass in the car like why don't you just say that why don't why have to like discover it through my nose like - I like it. - I like it. - I like it because sometimes I'm like wanna get away with it and then so I don't say anything, but it's horrible. - Yeah, you, there's no get away with that. - And it's just funny too. Just like sometimes just sitting there with this big old belly and just being like, oh. (laughing) Oh my God. - What are we doing? - Well, everyone, thank you for tuning in for yet another episode of the unplanned podcast. If you have not already subscribed, please, please subscribe. We're trying to get to a million subscribers this year and we need your help. We're gonna pick one of the subscribers. One of you, it's gonna like all of you are gonna be entered, like anyone that is a subscriber will have the opportunity to be picked in the, in the like giveaway. We're gonna do a giveaway, I think. (laughing) - Maybe don't have to know what you're doing. - Yeah, we still need to figure out what the giveaway is. Everyone go subscribe right now to the unplanned podcast. But yeah, we're just like, we're so thankful for you guys, this community's awesome and it's just, it's been like a lot of fun doing this show for three years. The more subscribers we get, the bigger the guests, the cooler, the interviews, the better the episodes. So thank you, I hope that you've enjoyed spending time with us today. - Yeah, we love you guys and thankful that you're going along on this journey with us. I know a lot of people that have started listening are also parents that have experienced loss and are maybe navigating a new pregnancy or have already done that or are like just so many things. So like, sometimes they can feel really isolating to just embark on this new journey or you feel misunderstood in ways or you feel like you're moving. Like I feel like sometimes I'm like the thing is like, oh, you're moving on and then you feel misunderstood. I don't know, all these things like just say like, you're not alone in what you're going through and I hope that this podcast could be a, it would be an honor to me if this podcast could be a small reminder that like we're not alone and that maybe you don't know anyone in your small in-person community but just like online like you know someone that has the same experience as you because I get that from you guys. So that's a long-winded way to say like really grateful that we have a safe place to be vulnerable like this and that you're listening. - We love you guys. We'll see you in the next episode. Peace out, dudes. - Peace out.