Pregnancy Rage, Mood Swings, & Baby Names: 2nd Trimester Q&A

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things that people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds. Visit Progressive.com to see what you can save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. The writer from Paw Patrol is pretty sick. One time we said Luca, but now I feel like maybe not. I like the name Rad for like boy number three or four, but you didn't like it. I feel like I just offended someone that named their kid Rad. I like these two names, but you didn't like them. Ferris. Ferris Bueller's Day Off, baby. I know. Okay, dang it. Ramsey. Let's just name our kid Dave Ramsey. You really like the name Fletcher. I would love to name a boy Fletcher. Maybe we haven't locked this name in like we thought. Welcome back to Unplanned, everybody. We're so happy you're here. Guys, the amount of time we have left. The amount of support that we've received since announcing the gender of our baby. We're having a boy, by the way, if you didn't know that. We're like so, so excited. We just want to do a Q&A for you guys because we got literally over a thousand questions submitted to our Unplanned Podcast Instagram asking us like various questions about pregnancy, about baby, all that stuff. But yeah, it's a boy. We're super excited. How do you feel about that, honestly, babe? Oh, I feel so happy. It's so funny like posting this now and like sharing it. I know we're not posting it in a way, but that was like, what, 15 weeks ago for us? Yeah, yeah. No, no, 14 weeks ago. It was March. We found it in January. January 20th was when we found out. We knew. It's funny even experiencing that as like, I mean, we did call it gender disappointment, but in a way, like, I feel like someone messaged me this and it really resonated with me because she had like the exact same situation. She had two boys and then she lost a pregnancy of a baby girl and then got pregnant again, with a boy. And she's like, she told me, explained to me why she doesn't feel like it's gender disappointment because it's fully attached to the grief of their like lost pregnancy. Yeah. And so it's not necessarily like, oh, I really wanted a girl and I didn't get a girl. It's like it's fully attached to the grief of that specific girl, which I feel like was a roundabout, like was a much better way of saying what I was trying to say in our previous episode. But that's the other thing, too. It's like people that have gone through that type of grief know and people that don't like can only imagine. What it feels like. But now at this point, like, what is it? 15 weeks out? Like, I'm just so it feels so right. I'm so stoked. Like, yeah, that's a really good way of describing that. I think it is. It is more grief than it is like, quote, unquote, yeah, gender disappointment. Also, gender disappointment, like, sounds so negative. It sounds so like, I don't know, like maybe selfish. It sounds too strong and shallow for what we were feeling a hundred percent. That makes sense. Like for me, it was it was probably it was probably like a feeling that lasted for maybe a couple of minutes. Because let me tell you how I feel about it. I am very glad that I don't get to choose the gender of my baby. Like, I'm very, I'm very, very pleased about that. I want everything to just happen as it's meant to happen. Yeah. Like, I think it's fun that we get to find out and it's a surprise. I don't know where I'm going with that, but I'm just I'm just saying, like, I'm really glad that I don't get to choose. I don't want to be able to choose. Well, it's it's funny that we're talking about gender disappointment because, like, probably 500 of the 1000 questions. submitted were about gender disappointment. OK. And it was really sweet, like people in the comments section on our YouTube video announcing the pregnancy were saying, like, hey, it's OK to feel disappointment. It's normal. It's like, it's all right. But then some people were like speculating and then other people were like, no, clearly, like, you can tell they're happy speculating. Well, I think I think with any like no matter what happens, people are going to, like, have, you know, maybe assumptions they make. Right. But like then some people were, you know, like watching the video all the way through and like, no, they're clearly really happy with. Baby boy, which which is the case. Like, we're well, I mean, you're so risky. Run so, so, so, so, so posting a fragment, a vulnerable fragment of your life. Yeah, we I mean, we honestly open ourselves up to this. Like we're we're posting our lives on the Internet. So, I mean, we have to be OK with people commenting on our lives because that's that's what we're doing. If we didn't want people commenting, we wouldn't be posting. But what I would say is that, yeah, I would say pawn for the reflection. I feel like disappointment isn't even necessarily the right word for it. Like, I really think it was all attached to grief, but now it's just like, so it's just excitement. Yeah, so it was it was cool. I mean, like, pretty much all the people that asked if we were disappointed also said it's completely understandable. And I don't even think I am, though. I feel like it is just fully like just missing that, you know what I mean? So but yeah, that's nice that people say that. I don't feel that way. I feel stoked. Like, I feel really excited. Yeah, I think for me, part of it was like your parents. They went through something similar, actually much worse than what we went through, and then they got blessed with you. So it was like, I think your mom, it was it was a way for her to have a daughter after she after she lost her daughter. And so I was kind of hoping we'd have the same thing and we did it and that's OK. It's interesting, though, because like for me, I grew up with two brothers. I'm one of three boys. So now that I get to, like, go through this, like like what my parents went through, having having three boys, I'm so stoked. I took my my. Brothers and my dad on a trip. You already know this, but I think people listening might not know. I took my brothers, my dad on a trip to Universal Studios, and this is before the gender reveal. But I told my parents and I was like, Dad, like, can you believe that I I get to do this like what you did? I'm going to have three boys. And we were just chatting about it. And he was telling me about how people would tell him that he would have a golf for some, which is where you have, you know, four guys all playing golf together, a baseball team. And I'm like, how many people are on a baseball team? There's there's like or a basketball team or something. I guess three on three. Well, we got that three. What do you mean three on three? We have three on three basketball. We got one three on three basketball team. What do you mean? We're going to have three boys. Oh, I see what you're saying. Do you want three on three? I'm including myself in it because like, oh, because a golf, a golf for some is like, oh, OK, or I had never even heard of what a golf for some is because you have like two golf carts and then it's like a group of people playing golf together. OK, I'm not a golfer, though. Like we I do want to touch on what you said about like my my sister, like the situation. My parents had a full term stillbirth of a girl before me and then they got pregnant with me. But they were actually told what's interesting about that situation is that they were told that I was a boy. That's why I like like from the anatomy scan to her growth scan. So like for that's a good amount of time that they were like. And my mom remembers. Feeling disappointed because she was like, you know, she thought she was going to the same same situation, right? You thought you're gonna have a girl. Then you like ours is a little different because we found out the gender the same like once we already knew that she had passed. So I don't think we experience this the same way. And I think that's also why I didn't really feel, quote unquote, gender disappointment the way that most people feel it or I can feel it is because that news came like simultaneously. But what was I saying? Oh, and so she thought. She thought that I was a boy for like several weeks of her pregnancy, but then found out that I was a girl. So that in the very back corner of my head, like after the first thing, I was like, it could be a girl. I see one of our I see one of our boys sneaking in right now. Hey, what's up? We're we're working, but we're going to go to Disneyland in about what you want to sit over here. OK, you can watch for a couple of minutes if you want. But then if you really. Quiet, OK? Oh, and that's now pretzels coming in pretzel. What's up? Yikers. Matt told me to sit for one minute. OK, you can sit. You can sit for a couple of minutes, Augie. OK, you got to you got to be super. You've got to be super quiet, OK? Oh, you know, you can't you want to say something in the mic? Want to say something you want to say? But yeah, I know I was going to say. And. In the very back back corner of my mind, I was thinking like maybe maybe it still is a girl. And I think that this boy has done nothing but make it abundantly obvious that he is a boy. Yeah, I every every scan, which we have had so many scans as pregnancy. I don't think people realize the difference between like going from, you know, your typical like three scans in a pregnancy to like we had three scans before we got to the end of the first trimester. Uh huh. We have had so many scans. Yeah, I look to the point where I literally asked my doctor, I was like, is this a safe? Is this OK? Just cracking me up right now that that our boys are in the studio listening in to us. Yeah, yeah. Me and Griffin went on a couple of. A couple of dates this past. That's right. You guys went on two different dates together, which which was which was a blast. Uno dos. That's right. And I see an ice cream date and a date to a show. Yeah. So here's here's my only fear now. Like now that we're having a third, I'm like, I know how close our two are right now together. I feel that. Yeah, it's like the twins. People ask me all the time if they're twins. I don't want this third kid to get left out. So I'm like, we got to create. We got to create a buddy for this third kid as quickly as possible. Seriously. Yeah. And we're gonna have to push through. We're gonna have to just like muscle through the tough newborn stage, muscle through, you know, maybe having. two under two again no we can't do that i think that would be i actually don't even think we're like allowed to do that unless we have a v-back unless unless we do the v-back but um that's my only the only thing i'm thinking about right now is like we got to make sure this third kid has a buddy i know i know because griffin and augie are such close buddies yeah okay next question we have is wait what was that question uh that was did you feel gender disappointment yeah okay i mean like here's the thing people if people are going to weaponize that against me then so be it but like that's just real and honest and like stemming completely from grief so if people have any was that i didn't read the comments were they mad at me oh no comments are great comments are great then we're getting all defensive for comments i didn't even read okay next we have what has been the most exciting part of your pregnancy by far feeling kicks i could literally cry or nothing about it i don't cry every time it happens you're like come here i know and then that's literally the story of my life like you have felt a lot of kicks but like he'll do something crazy and then i'll be like feel this and then it's like he literally is in there just like he just freezes when i put my hand on your belly yes i felt quite a few kids yeah you have i felt a good amount how do you maintain energy while still being a mom up to other kids you dig deep yeah there's a reserve beneath exhaustion uh-huh that you find and once you get past like the point where you're like i really want to take a nap once you push past that it gets easier i'll tell you what your secret power is it's going to the gym yeah i go to the gym also don't stop if you sit down you're screwed that happened to me yesterday yeah and then i could barely make dinner and it's okay i mean like you you drink caffeine it's still okay to have caffeine you just got to stay under isn't it 200 milligrams yeah everybody might be different you got to talk to your doctor everyone has their own opinions on that everyone has their own opinions know that we're not doctors but i think but the medical advice from our doctor is under 200 and so i do have a half-calf coffee in the morning and usually a diet soda in the afternoon that's wild it's so crazy so crazy crazy that you're doing that what are your registry must-haves from overwhelmed first-time mom ah this is somebody that like has no idea what's even like get on the registry okay yeah obviously for as a third time mom it looks so different um my sweet friends are throwing me a shower which makes me so happy and i feel i honestly like why am i like this like i feel guilty that they're throwing me a shower why do you feel yeah why do you feel guilty i don't know i just i'm like no one go out of your way for me please seriously and anyway um i just think about how blessed we've been i'm like i do not want to ever like i don't know take from anyone but um i just asked like i was like well first of all i said no one get me literally anything and then they say put on their diapers and wipes which i think is very yeah very great and honestly that's one of the only things you can really bank on as a first-time mom i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know how you're necessarily going to feed your baby x y and z oh what binkies they're gonna like my recommendation is spend the extra money on the good diapers don't get the cheapest you know low lower lower on the totem pole and every baby likes a different diaper needs a different diaper because when we get the cheap like target diapers our babies would poop through those every single time like are you talking about the store brand yeah like the great value version or whatever it don't don't do that because then you're gonna have like so many poop stains in the clothes constantly taking them out of their outfits i would say i'm a huge fan of a swaddle a good swaddle um for when they're tiny tiny newborns you really like the ollie swaddle and um but this this baby we're using the new taking care of baby swaddle which i'm really excited about because it doesn't have velcro you've like met kara right like yeah are you and kara friends i feel like i would say i'm i feel like she would maybe say too i don't know really i don't know um but yeah i did have to refrain from kissing her on the mouth when i first met her she did she did like save our lives she did when griffin was not sleeping at like through 10 months i think we did like what do we do we did her course i'm really excited about her new swaddle though because there's no velcro so when you're like trying to change them at night they can stay because you know that velcro in the middle night it's like like they're waking up it's like purring it's silent but it gets so tight too though and it's so comfy um so i'm really excited about that one you just need a good swaddle really get a sound machine um sleep tent i mean we're a fan of the sleep tent when they get like a little older so the slumber pod yeah when they're a newborn they don't need that but the slumber pod is great when they get older pack and play because then it's like the the lighting is consistent every time they have a nap get a car seat we really recommend dunas we love dunas we're going to be getting a new one because we use the heck out of it um you know what i can talk about baby products forever the slumber pod can be annoying to set up and tear down but i do think it makes our kids nap longer or it did now like we yeah we've actually grown out of that our youngest doesn't even use the sleep tent anymore we've graduated yeah almost three years old um but i think we are bringing it to disneyland here's what i'm doing differently this baby i am gonna whenever we do use a bottle i'm gonna use glass bottles yeah yep that's good why wait why why glass bottle no plastics i'm just kidding i also just think it makes sense if you're warming up something and putting it in plastic i see oh yeah you're you're kind of like on an anti-plastic kick recently just a bit you watch a documentary about plastics didn't you well think about you're heating it up in plastic i was gonna heat up my frozen peas in in the plastic bag and you were like absolutely not put that in a dish i was like just put it in you smacked my you karate shot no i didn't yeah i will do glass bottles i also do glass bottles i also do glass bottles i also just feel like they're probably easier to clean like because you can get them hotter and um i don't know i feel like this is a hard thing for me to conceptualize right now is having a newborn what is we haven't we have done zero prep if that's not obvious already labor day savings are happening now at the home depot with select appliances starting at 399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars 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fans of we are not diyers and if you are in the same boat as us this added service at an affordable price is honestly priceless you can shop with wayfair verified aka your shortcut to good stuff their team of product specialists vets everything by hand using a 10-point quality inspection so you know you're getting a quality piece no matter your budget get prepped for patio season for way less head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com wayfair every style every home this is from amy in the uk what is the number one thing you do differently the third time around um for me it's chill the f out yeah like like it's not that big of a deal you know yeah something as simple as your kid your baby crying like wait 60 seconds and if they stop crying like you don't need to rush it like the second our kid i remember when you were you were so anxious as a new mom i'm gonna chill the f out you you were like it's our kids gonna die and then like i would sprint like over our second and like me i was just all and it just like my nervous system was like fried like i i was just constantly sprinting i think it was me i was like like every second he made a peep it's like he might have just gone like ah and it's like oh my gosh what's that like you know just so uh just chilling chilling the f out i think is what we've learned and i and i think you kind of have to like i think it's impossible to be that on edge no you will three children four children yeah you will literally die and so there's like been funny clips i've seen on the internet of like how parenting looks like when people have like three kids or four kids and someone could be like well i also think you have the gift of like past experience yeah so now i feel like we know what different cries sound like what are ones that are like alarming like we're gonna sprint for that yes even for like our kids now like i told abigail last night at family dinner i was like oh no it's got to be a little louder before we like before we go upstairs like an intervene like you know now you have like this experience you're not you're able to distinguish whereas like every sound our kid made even if it wasn't even a cry was like the most like 100 alarm for us at least early on like i'm in a very different place now to introduce a newborn than i was with both of our first two um just the way that my community looks like where we're living like all the friendships i have like i have like when we think about it when we had our first none of our friends had babies yeah i didn't have any friends that were moms we had no family out here we had we didn't actually really know anybody out here and so now it just looks so different and i will just never take that lightly like the support and friendships and just yeah we just have roots now and that feels that feels like that has just eliminated so much because i honestly feel like a lot of that that um anxiety i i mean i don't know if it was like diagnosable anxiety but like that that on edge every first time parents gonna feel that to some degree but like you talking about like your nervous system always being activated like that's not gonna i don't think that that could possibly be the case this time yeah because of just our like circumstances being so our next question is just when is the kid born well when the kid wants to come would be the best answer but we're anticipating probably like the first week of august yeah his due date is august 11th yep and um right now we are waiting to hear news from our doctor but we're probably likely going to have a scheduled c-section and they do those like the week before so the first week of august probably any uh this is from uh camille she wants to know if you have any insane pregnancy cravings no just everything what like what do you mean just everything every food item you want to eat at all yeah you you can throw it down you can throw it down you can throw it down gosh dang it i'm impressed what are you talking about i'm impressed i feel like my hardest time of day i get really really hungry like around lunchtime but where it's really hard is like it's really hard to stop eating at the end of the day to like call it like i just want to keep eating and eating and eating and eating you have some like really interesting food hacks for like eating like eating to to be full but then like managing like the health side of it like i've picked up because i'm i'm i was on a cut recently i was trying to cut weight and um cut seven cut seven pounds and part of that was using abby's um hard-boiled egg method of just having hard-boiled eggs for breakfast that really stems from like having a very big appetite and like also not wanting to spend a lot of time preparing food i'm like i want to get the things that are going to make me the fullest the fastest yeah and keep me fullest the longest yes yeah next one how's matt swings if any arise okay okay okay i actually want to say this because we did that gender prediction uh like fun old wives tales video which totally was not meant to mislead people this is literally i went exactly as my symptoms the but the little caveat here is that i've been pregnant four times and three of them have been boys one of them has been a girl and i will tell you my symptoms have been the same every single time like to a t now i know other people experience differently but for me i've had the same symptoms every single time and i've had the same symptoms every single time every time so you're telling me the wives tales don't actually work i don't think so i think that the only i mean in my experience they haven't i will say but um our ultrasound tech that has done so many of our scans i asked her about them i was like have you found that any of them are like actually consistent she was like first of all i think the heart rate one is bogus she's like that there's nothing that could possibly relate to that but then she's like the only thing i do believe is that if you have heartburn that your baby will have a lot of hair interesting she's like the biggest heart the most heartburn i see like the most hair on an ultrasound interesting which i will say i feel like our babies haven't really had a lot of hair as they could like see and i don't i didn't know they could see hair in the ultrasound that's crazy gosh this week we're doing a whole echo cardiogram for the baby oh my gosh is that friday wow um anyway what was i saying oh i wasn't trying to mislead anyone like they were like someone at my gym was like so what are you having and i'm so excited i was like this is before we had an ounce i was like having a boy and she's like oh i see what you did there i was like no i wasn't trying to do anything that's literally the symptoms i've had but on that video i said that i was moody but i actually kind of want to recant that i feel like i haven't been that moody i feel matt's the only one that can be the judge of that though no comment on that okay don't be honest seriously i can take it uh no comment i you think i've been moodier than normal though i think i think you've had to be more resilient because you are um you have two boys like you you can't like you you can't just like sit back so i think you've just been like go go go go getting things done for these boys you can say i've been less you've been resilient and you've been and you've been um an inspiration thank you that's how you inspire me every day that's how i feel every single day i tell you all the time like thank you for growing my babies you do honestly um no i will say that i don't feel as emotionally unstable as i have uh previous pregnancies but you know that's probably therapy when you really think about it more than hormones or anything i think i think the the longer we do this stuff we just get smarter you know i do feel more teary like than when i wasn't pregnant like i feel like i'm pretty quick to get teary oh yeah do you think that um yeah yes yes i saw i saw a video attention to me i do you know yeah no you're done i'm thinking like my brain's on a different planet right now because i'm thinking about um alex and john who we've had on the podcast before they posted a video about like when it's when it was something about like when we just started liking each other yeah yeah like everyone's asking about baby number two but we just started exactly yes that's funny i thought that was so funny because it's relatable you know yeah maybe i'm naive but i feel like by the third time you're kind of just like you already are anticipating certain things so i think when like life is easier it's just easier to not like bicker and like fight over like the stupidest crap with yeah you're like that's just how they with your loved one you know yeah so but um i will say i'm so curious with baby number three i've been so interested in this whole birth order thing and um i'm always fed videos now of like ever wonder why your third baby is so chill and happy and it's like because they're a gift for surviving your second which i will say our kids quite literally follow birth order pretty like to a tee yeah um and i don't mean that in like a condescending stereotypical way but like they just follow those patterns like neither of our kids are cautious though so that's why i'm kind of like what about that our first is definitely more cautious than our second so anyway i'm just like so curious because i keep telling matt that this guy's gonna be so chill but also this baby has been extremely active our second is so resilient i mean he can just fall and like i've seen him like actually get hurt before and he just like gets back up and acts like nothing he doesn't say anything he's so tough he just like rubs it yeah and then he moves on like our dog could like scratch him and i'm like oh that's not good let's get pretzel away from him and he's just like will not doesn't come like i see other kids that happen to you and they'll be like like they just freak out like they act like they're dead dying and augie's just like i'm i'm fine it's a little it's a it's merely a flesh wound i know that's what happened he had they both had like scratches and i was like yeah what do you okay what do you do about this because it makes me so upset when our dog does like scratch them or sometimes they'll like play i know we're gonna we're taking her we're getting her trained more but i think it's just part of it like you can't stop like she's a puppy she's just trying to play she doesn't mean to hurt them she's never like actually hurt them it's mainly just like a scratch i know a playful a playful bite which like is basically just like a a glorified scratch but i don't like it though i know um she's gonna put her outside yeah i also catch pretzel licking augie's face and augie just busts out laughing they love her they're fine pretzel is like one of augie's she's just a puppy yeah she's she's fun to have around if your baby could inherit one personality trait from each of them what would you choose okay well i'm gonna choose the personality trait from you that i would want the baby to i'm gonna say your personality i think what does that mean your entire personality you make these like big you do these big like um uh lucille ball like facial expressions and the boys pick that up from you i think like yesterday griffin woke up from his nap and he was he was yeah making just like pouty face and i had just done that face and then he wakes up from his nap and i was like i wonder where he gets the apple doesn't fall far from the tree yeah um for you i would like to i would love for our kids to have like your creativity and your passion thank you yeah yeah i think i think you are you're you're like very social maybe like you're social you're like you're so much more social than me i don't know social i'm social but then like here's my problem is i'm i'm very very social on the front end but then yeah i'm - Yeah. - Like I'm out of sight out of mind, baby. if i'm not like in the same room as you and like seeing you i kind of just like sometimes i can forget that you exist they always introduce everyone that comes in our house they're like hi this is and they like introduce everybody they're very like friendly i love that they i really love that they also will go up to random people and kindly ask if they can pet their dog i think it's so funny griffin does that every time we're at the park and a dog walks and then they'll be like what's their name he stops everything and goes and asks people what their dog's name is as if he can pet the dog they love having people over to the house they tell me every day they're like i love having when i love when people come over like which people come over very often they love yeah so i think they are social and i think they are going to be very creative and passionate augie for sure is very passionate labor day savings are happening now at the home depot with select appliances starting at 399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of 998 or more laundry tower featuring industry-first uv clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics plus with great prices at the home depot you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier shop labor day savings at the home depot today offer valid august 27th through september 16th us only see store online for details propel fitness water with gatorade electrolytes zero sugar and vitamins propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self what propels you to the home depot with select appliances designed to make laundry day easier thank you to rocket money for sponsoring this portion of our podcast i haven't checked our rocket money subscriptions in a couple months and i know that we have some that we need to cancel we certainly do rocket money if you haven't heard of it makes it so easy to find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions you can do it all within their app gone are the days of using spreadsheets and doing all this like meticulous math work like rocket money just makes it easy for you to see what's coming in what's going out and then when you do have those unwanted subscriptions you can just cancel them that is so important to us because i feel like just living in 2026 everything is a subscription and a lot of them just get added on without your knowledge and so we routinely go into rocket money and just seamlessly cancel those ones that we aren't using because they track your subscriptions and you have the ability like matt said to cancel within the app with just a few tabs saving users over 880 million dollars in canceled subscriptions you can set budgets and goals get personalized insights and regular reports you also receive real-time alerts for large transactions upcoming bills refunds and low balances which i find that super helpful it's kind of like your your personal financial buddy rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster join rocket money.com slash unplanned that's rocket money.com slash unplanned rocket money.com slash unplanned do we have this is from sophia so excited to hear your halloween costume ideas for three boys oh yeah we should do like an epic halloween thing one of them is basically going to be a jelly bean okay come on we gotta let's let's figure out our family costume this year yeah like two months old what do we think we got to figure it out what are we doing minions we got to figure it out right now what if this is literally the lat the what if you're scarlet overkill i'm flurb isn't it flurb no victor victor flurb no gosh i'm forgetting the name no i think it's i think it's scarlet over no victor is from the og the new minions movie yeah if our boys were like the it's not flurb it's certainly not flurb i swear i'm looking it up right now it's the minions movie with scarlet overkill minions and then our kids be minions why am i gonna be scarlet overkill i'm right this is flurb right here that guy herb not flurb it's herb that would be funny if our kids are minions we have like a little baby newborn minion and and you're scarlet overkill i feel like we need to go back to the drawing board or what i wanted to do last year i that you would look so hot in this outfit is the uh is is black widow two months postpartum and then i'm joking right you would look so good and then i would be captain america i gotta hit the gym a bit more but i could be captain america something i can nurse in augie would be hulk griffin could be spidey and then maybe i would be captain america maybe newborn is ant-man here's the thing we're gonna be exactly whatever our kids want to be and the problem is is that they're probably not gonna be coordinated themselves we also did kind of do like last year we had slinky dog with the hulk as the tail that's true let's remember that let's remember the type of planning that went into all of our halloween's past but it's okay how we got inappropriate though because slinky dog's head fell off and then it looked it just looked mildly inappropriate it just like looked like a massive wiener is what it looked like because there's no yeah it was weird anyway um so we're just not here here's the thing don't expect much from us from halloween it's just come on that you follow other families for that you don't follow us for that everybody everybody wants to see an aesthetic we don't we don't have that we don't do that we just have fun and we go trick-or-treating and i wish we trust me i i have mad respect for the families i do augie's really been into um um iron man i guarantee that augie will be some type of superhero or bad guy probably darth vader honestly all right and griffin will probably be what would he be he'd be a dinosaur we're gonna have darth vader and a dinosaur and then whatever we want this baby to be next up we got how do you prevent stretch marks i don't i mean i used to like rub like this oil i do rub oil on my belly but i've also heard that that doesn't help like it's not proven to do anything yeah i'm sure you could here's the thing if you really want to prevent stretch marks i think that you could do some serious research and find out what to do for that it's just never been something that i really have gotten ahead of i have them yeah didn't you look great thank you i have them and they don't bother me so i don't really like i i do try to moisturize my skin a lot you know what's crazy is the further you got from your c-section the more the scar like faded and faded oh that's different and then when you got pregnant yeah this is switching subjects but then when you got pregnant i feel like this the line darkened again darkened again why is that it's the hormones in your skin oh or not your it's not the hormones in your skin but it's your hormones so like when i got pregnant no no so here's the thing i had like my stretch marks like purple when i was pregnant kind of purple like darker reddish purple then when i wasn't pregnant like the further out i got the more they would fade to like white and then i got pregnant again and immediately i was like maybe i don't have stretch marks anymore they all stood out again because they got like more purpley again yeah um so yeah i mean i have them i i try to just moisturize my skin i use oil on my belly but i just i'm not i'm not super convinced that they've moved the needle a ton so i'm hesitant to like recommend anything i honestly just think it's something that i'm just like yeah that's gonna happen mbd this is from jessica does matt put the right amount of ice cubes in your drinks now you do but i think it's because every single time i button it by saying three scoops three scoops it's now no longer a metric of cubes it's a metric of scoops because we have pebble ice maker which by the way sometimes you still do four scoops this might be kind of crazy that i'm saying this but i've also enjoyed regular ice now again what i'm really glad you came out and knocked that i just i i think someone needs to say it because you use pebble ice enough it starts to it loses the the whoa stop that is such a hot take then you got to go back to the the thicker cubes and the thicker cubes you know what they don't melt as fast you actually even use the regular you use the freezer no but you use the regular ice cubes in your iced coffee in the morning because my coffee's so hot i'm like i'm gonna have to make sure it's not so hot it's gonna melt it so fast that's what i'm saying because then when i put in but i want my water warmer than my coffee but when i put in pebble ice into my iced coffee the pebbles just melt away and then it's all watery it's watered down yeah you gotta you need you need differentiation in your ice cubes right there's a different ice cube for every occasion matt what are your honest thoughts about being one of three boys so i guess this one is for me you loved that i did love it that's the crazy thing is i kind of envisioned what we're having now for our family before we even had i kind of did too though like i before we had kids i don't know if you could ever find the footage but i'm like i don't feel like we're gonna have all boys why yeah why did i and i kind of wanted to have three boys i thought to be kind of because i just like grew up with that i thought it'd be kind of fun to run it back and then then i didn't want to run it back because everything we went through and then now i'm like oh i guess this is kind of sick still have our daughter yeah but just not like we wanted to yeah yeah but um yeah having three boys feels very appropriate for us yeah i'm right except i told you yesterday i was like matt i feel like i'm kind of girly so like what are we doing here i know you like you were saying you do all this fancy stuff like with your hair your makeup and i'm like girly things and i'm like you're really hot too so i feel like that has to count for something i do think girl moms are just so much more fashionable and trendy than boy moms so i'm gonna have to just i'm gonna have to outsource some of that yeah my niece is like i'm gonna have to outsource some of that yeah my niece is like i'm gonna have to outsource some of that yeah my niece is like i'm gonna have to outsource some of that yeah my niece is like i'm gonna have to outsource some of that yeah my niece will help me out yeah my niece is like i'm gonna have to outsource some of that yeah my niece will help me out yeah what are we gonna do what are we gonna yeah what are we gonna do what are we gonna do and vivian will help me do and vivian will help me do and vivian will help me yeah that you know it really was stuck in yeah that you know it really was stuck in yeah that you know it really was stuck in my head that like Like, you just keep having this, like, the same gender. And then it threw me off that our brother and our sister-in-law, that they have one of each. I think you're still processing that. I'm still processing that. I can't believe it. Postpartum question. Have you experienced postpartum rage? If so, how did you handle it? Yeah, probably. I just went crazy. You know, I feel like you have this gift of postpartum with where you have this, like, brain fog. It's not good, but it is also a gift in a way where you kind of, like, forget. Like, there's this amnesia. Now, there are some iconic moments postpartum with specifically our second that brought me to my knees that haven't exactly worn away yet. They're pretty fresh. So. So, yeah, I think we have been very explicit. First of all, when we were preparing for when we were pregnant with Emerson, we were already very explicit about, like, okay, this is what we need postpartum, both of us, but specifically me, like, what I need postpartum. And then now we've continued those same conversations. Like, I've been more explicit about, like, what I need as far as, like, oh, I'm going to need, like, this amount of recovery time. I'm going to need this. I'm out of, like, you know, outsourcing this help with the older kids at this point. I need help with the baby in this way. Like, just, like, kind of getting on top of those conversations because I think it's really hard with, like, your first and your second because they're both big transitions, like, where, like, it's pretty different because you, you know, you've never had a baby before and then you've never had a baby with a toddler. Yeah. And I know that having a baby with two toddlers will be different, but we have this, like, you know, past experience under our belt. It gets a little bit. Yeah. More. Like, certain aspects of the second were easier, but certain aspects were way harder, especially because I had a C-section versus a vaginal delivery. And so now we just, now we have a lot more experience to build on in our tool belt. You are so right. But I feel like, yeah, I definitely had some explosive moments postpartum that I will always feel a little bit like, wow. First of all, I feel, I feel, like, ashamed of them. And second of all, I feel like, wow, how did that even happen? I think that I tell people, I mean, like, we have friends right now that are going through postpartum and I just feel bad for them. There's not, like, it's not good for anybody, you know? No one, no one is like, I don't know of anybody that's like, postpartum is my favorite. It's my, it's the best. I do know people like that. Are you serious? Yes. Oh, okay. Well. The newborn bubble. Man. What did they, what did they do differently? Maybe they had a chill baby. Oh, okay. Yeah. It probably, it does change things. When you got like a baby, like a colic. I feel like the, I do see a common theme of like a fussier, colicky baby. Yeah. Makes for a very different postpartum experience. Yeah. Yes. And like, uh, people that we know that have struggled more have a fussy, colicky baby. Yeah. So, yeah. Your whole range can be, I just keep telling myself we probably couldn't have two colic babies in a row. Yeah. Please never. I hope I never have to stitch this and it's like another screaming. Newborn constantly. It's okay. Okay. Um, no shade or judgment, but how long did it take you to process the miscarriage and try again? That is such a loaded question because I just, I feel like taking to process that's almost insinuating that there's like some type of finish line for this type of thing. Yeah. And, um, I definitely tried to front. End a lot of like the processing of like that I could, uh, early on by just like eliminating all distractions and just like sitting with my thoughts and feelings, doing a lot of journaling, a lot of walks, a lot of just quiet and a lot on my own. But then also a lot of like talking with other people, um, and in therapy too. Um, but there's only so much of that you can front end. Like, I feel like recently there's been a new wave of like grief that's happened. And like I told you, like literally yesterday, I was like, I did not expect this to happen right now. And it's not like, yeah, it's not like me getting pregnant was like, okay, I did it. I'm done. I did. I did the processing. We're ready to move on. It's like, I just made peace at the, like very early on that this was going to be probably a lifelong grieving process. Now, do I think grieving and processing your emotions are the same thing? I don't know, but I'm kind of putting them as the same in a way. Early on after losing her, we knew that we wanted to, like, that was like, our main goal was like to have like a redemptive pregnancy experience. And, um, but they were like, it was an isolation. It wasn't like this was part of our healing for Emerson. Like in a way it does help that, but it wasn't like this was like our big solution because we fully, we got pregnant with this baby. With our fourth pregnant, you know, we got pregnant this fourth time, fully understanding more than ever that we could lose this pregnancy. Yeah. And that is just a totally different experience, you know, but then you still do it. I feel like you, I mean, there's nothing wrong with feeling done, like, like being in so much pain that you can't move on after that. But I think redemption was a really good word that you used. It definitely felt redemptive. It felt. It felt exciting. I think it wasn't, it, what wasn't expected for us was the pain not going away, the, the fear not going away. Um, and I guess that's just something that. Like I won't feel, I will not feel like good. Until baby's here. Until we're holding him. Yeah. Yeah. How many weeks are you? That's a, that's another question people are asking. By the time this comes out, I'll be 25, right? Wow. Yeah. Cause tomorrow's 25. 24, when this comes out, it'll be a week from now. So yeah, it'll be 25 weeks. That's so close. 20. Oh my gosh. Tomorrow's week of viability. Yeah. 24 weeks. That's amazing. Wait, that's so good. Yeah, it is good. That must feel awesome. Yes. And no, I mean, we had a missed miscarriage. We didn't think anything was wrong, but yes, it definitely does. The fact that I can feel movements and start to like gauge that, that feels really good. Labor day. Savings are happening now at the home. Deep. But with select appliances, starting at $399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of $998 or more. Get a whirlpool laundry tower featuring industry first UV clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics. Plus with great prices at the home Depot, you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier. Shop Labor Day savings at the home Depot today. 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Another question I saw come up a lot is names that we like but won't be using for this baby. We didn't really have any backups. You know what's funny is we had an entire like list. We had like a book of names. Oh, do you want me to read my baby names that we don't even like? Yeah, because like I want to say at one point we liked the name Lily, you know, and that one just like completely. We still like it. You know, completely went away. Lily, where did that come from? I think we liked the name like Oliver. We love that name. And then that name, like we haven't even talked about that name. Then there was Emmett, like you really liked the name Emmett for the longest time. Well, we have our girl name already locked in if we ever have a girl, a second girl, you know what I mean? Whisper it to me and I'll figure it out. - Ah, yes. but see even that girl name that you just whispered to me that was something that you came up with like in the past six months that these are our list of names that we've had since we were in high school what okay wait read them that's actually so fun no oh no don't read them okay well one of the names that we like considered okay can i also just say like i'm not i don't want to offend anybody we like all these names still we're just not using them yeah quincy quincy that's where that was an old name abby's old you know hometown hometown quincy uh finley i still really like that name i would love the name finley for a girl okay i hope that we might use that for a girl we might use that so i guess we're just giving our names that we might also potentially be using um which is fine because you know what they're out there uh we didn't come up with them we once liked the name emmett a lot wait why did that change for you like you convinced me of loving the name emmett and then that one just like oh you still like the name emmett and then that one just like oh you still like the name emmett and then that one like that one i do okay that one's on the table it could be maybe we haven't locked this name in like we thought one time we said luca but now i feel like maybe not anymore because it's been used a lot luca was not like a good news is that griffin was on our list griffin griffin is on this list um but no griffin you said the name griffin like right after you were pregnant for the first time i liked the name rad for like boy number three or four but you didn't like it why do i not like that one sorry which i i still agree offended someone that named their kid rad we like the name sloan gosh see this is stupid we got in trouble we like guys there was a clip of our podcast we were talking about like baby names being out of control and like there were people that got upset yeah i know so i'm sorry why are we doing this if we don't like your baby's name you don't have to like our baby's name we don't need to tell each other but i guess you are listening to our podcast so you're gonna hear us say we don't like your baby's name i know here's the other thing too when people got really mad at us about that it was about someone that commented on the video that we posted but it wasn't our comment yeah we also got mad at us about that it was about someone that commented on the video that we also never saw the comment yeah and then it got a lot of likes not by us this is so rabbit holy but um what i was gonna say is that a bunch of people retaliated and told us that they hated the name griffin i know and do you know how much that offended me zero zero because i like the name i love the name griffin if you don't like the name griffin that's totally fine something's wrong with you no no no that's the opposite of what we're saying it's not a judgment call on them it's just like i'm judging it's called personal preference i just think that they're silly for not liking the name griffin i think it's the best name personally you know what's really ironic is that anyone that has our kids names i automatically love them so like august on beast games i was like i have to root for him because his name is august and i love that name yeah do you want to go through the rest of these really quickly let's hear him baby sloan sloan sorry i don't like the name okay dang it that one's a really good one writer i don't know i don't think that one that could be writer from paw patrol is pretty sick well that's also why i was like maybe we don't use it anymore um i like these two names but you didn't like them ferris i kind of like ferris bueller's day off i know okay dang it ferris bueller ramsay ramsay dave ramsay you didn't like that one you really like the name fletcher let's just name our kid dave ramsay you know you really like the name fletcher i do love the name fletcher i would love to name a boy fletcher i put honestly guys we're this i if it weren't for um abby you you've basically picked out all our kids you basically picked them out and then i just say if i like them or not because you picked some that i was like i spend more time thinking about it you think about the names a lot but like fletcher decker on there i basically the story fletcher is i sat on on a like on a on a ski lift next to this guy named fletcher and we were both snowboarding and we chatted it up and then at the end of talking he was like so cool and i'm like what's your name dude he's like fletcher and i'm like i'm naming my son fletcher that's so sick okay it's not off the table not off the table okay i said decker and then this one is the this next one is our baby's name oh yeah so i guess i won't say it we winner that's actually that was a question that somebody asked it was when will you be announcing the name of baby we'll be we'll be born when the baby's born okay right i feel like when the baby's born i have our girl name already if we ever have a girl oh yeah and she's getting my middle name okay see now i'm sad you already gave that away i'm sad that we just said the name fletcher because i'm like i really want to name a kid we can use it for this kid no we've already that would really throw we would throw everyone the f off because we've told all of our friends and family and our children and our children they'd be like he his name changed no i feel like they would think something else happened which is bad oh gosh they were yeah that was actually okay speaking we gotta keep the name speaking of death people were actually asking i'm trying to find the question but people were asking about how we've talked to our kids about death because with the miscarriage we told them that that happened they were probably like oh confused about what happened to emerson no but actually we've continued conversations just randomly and i feel like they have a really good understanding of what happened for like a kid but what's sad is the other day this is like two or three days ago griffin goes he was talking about everything he wanted and he was saying that he he wanted everyone in our family to for their bodies to not stop working yeah why why did you say that again how did that happen well i mean it's appropriate for them to know that like you know life isn't forever and um it's like a gift and we have to also take care of ourselves and be safe yeah um but we we explained to the kids that when we lost emerson that like her body stopped working yeah and i also think that like part of the motivation for finding out the gender early this time and like deciding a name really early was because like i feel like we were introducing the kids to her at the time that we were like telling her that she'd passed yeah and so um yeah we were talking about the baby and we call him by name all the time with the kids and um they're like he was like i really don't want his body to stop working i was like yeah me too i think i think his body's gonna keep working and be really healthy and he's like yeah like emerson like her body stopped working and that was sad like he talks to us that way like we talk about her and like we miss her and we'll just always remember her yeah and in my opinion it's age appropriate for them yeah but also it it does access the full depth of what happened do you think emerson's soul came back with this new baby in any way that's a question someone was asking i don't think that but if that's healing for other people to believe or experience then yeah that's good but for me i don't i like to think of like when i see a rainbow it's her saying hi yeah yeah yeah me too yeah i guess we'll never know but it's like i'm gonna think about the happy stuff you know here's the thing even if you don't believe in it in that way you can just say like or it can also just be a good reminder of her yeah rainbows have like a different meaning now yeah they really do like they are every time i see one i just texted you pictures of rainbows the other day yes you see those yeah i thought that rainbow was so pretty yeah i thought that rainbow was so pretty yeah i thought that rainbow was so pretty i love when you do that i really appreciate when you do that let me give you some tissues why am i crying because you're pregnant and you're a lady and you've been through some really hard things and you've got every right to feel the way that you need to feel this is this question's like so it's like it's like the perfect question right now are you guys doing all right how do you are you doing all right yeah you are doing all right yeah why i feel like there's just like this misconception like you go through something really hard and you're weaker like you're fragile like you're you know you're broken but like what people don't realize is that people have gone through grief like and like have gone through like tough things yeah are stronger versions of who they were before so i mean i i will say that like i went into this pregnancy fully knowing that we could lose that this baby and it's not guaranteed and i feel stronger because of that this fear doesn't go away right but i know that i can't overcome it yeah and so that breeds a new sense of confidence and a new strength entering new situations like you kept telling me like abby it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen when i would like tell you what my fears i was like no it could yeah and that's why this is brave and like saying that felt better than like it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen you know what i mean it's always hard to know what to say in those moments no i and i'm not saying you said anything wrong yeah i'm like i don't like if you're needing comfort for me i don't want to be like well yeah this like you yeah i wanted you to say yeah it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen and at some degree but i also just wanted you to realize like if you could just show me a magic ball and actually mean that it's not gonna happen yeah then this would be a lot this would require no bravery of me you know what i mean because i would know that i'd have a guaranteed positive outcome but the fact that i don't have a guaranteed positive outcome and i'm still choosing to do it again yeah is what's brave something that's like a thought i've been wrestling with is like there's no guaranteed positive outcome for literally anyone yeah there's no guaranteed possible what a positive thought it was It's just, it's, but I think that's like what makes it, I think just like life in general, like it makes you brave to like, to approach life through this like lens of positivity, through a lens of just like abundance and, and I don't know, also, also just like fully taking every opportunity to live and do things and, and yeah, and, and not spend your life worrying, not spend your life in misery. Cause it's like, you don't, you just don't know when your last day is. I could, I could die tomorrow. I have no idea. Wow. You know, so I, uh, I, I was talking to a guy who his like aunt or something got cancer and like died super quickly and she had like been, been a saver and he was basically just like telling me to, um, to like not work as much. He was like, he was like, don't work as much. Go, go like live a little bit more, go have more fun, you know? Yeah. So I feel like we've been living a lot. We live a good life. No, I think we are. I think, you know, we're taking the kids to Disneyland today. We do a lot. I think that's good. And also I know that it's not for everybody, but like, I feel like that has been like so good through this season of like loss and new pregnancy. Like knowing that life is still moving forward and we're not stuck on what happened in the past. And we're not anticipating. What's happening in the future so much that we're at a standstill right now. Like having this busy full life while at times it feels like it's too much, but it's also just like, it's just like we are living, we are living in the present and that has just been such a good thing for me right now. Oh yeah. Okay. I want to say this too, because the mom's at no, no, I had an anterior placenta with my second, so I didn't feel a ton of kicks early on. But he really surely made up for it by the end of the pregnancy. That man could kick through that placenta like crazy, but I know that's not the case for everyone with an anterior placenta. It's probably just the case for people with an anterior placenta and a crazy baby, but this placenta is not anterior. So it's posterior. So therefore I can feel kicks. I could feel kicks very early. I felt kicks at 17 weeks, which was just an amazing gift given our past circumstances with losing a baby at 17 weeks. But. But now I feel so, so many kicks and it is just the most, like it just gives me so much joy. Like I can feel him right now. Like I feel him a lot and he's wild. He's a wild man. He's over a pound. He's ready to go. Labor Day savings are happening now at the Home Depot with select appliances starting at $399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of $998 or more. Get a Whirlpool laundry towel. We're featuring industry first UV clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Gatorade. Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. Thank you to Good Wipes for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Gut health is all the rage these days, but let's talk about butt health. I knew you wanted to say that. It's time to leave that dry, scratchy toilet paper in the past and show that beautiful booty. 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Grab the new peaches and cream or any other Good Wipes item at Walmart so you can upgrade your restroom routine and see how it feels to actually be clean. Buy any two packs of Good Wipes at Walmart or Walmart.com. Text them your receipt and get reimbursed almost immediately for one of them. For more details, head to GoodWipes.com/unplanned. Again, that's GoodWipes.com/unplanned to snag a free pack of Good Wipes from Walmart. This question kind of cracks me up. It says, "How did you get pregnant after you told God no with your IUD?" So if you just get an IUD out, then you can get pregnant again. It's that. Can I tell you, I feel like that's a really small view of God. Elaborate. Elaborate on that. Do you think if God really, if a God of the universe really wanted someone to have a baby and they're like, "You're having one," and it's like, "Oh, dang it." Bro, what happened to Mary? Come on. They had it. I don't know what I'm saying. Dang it. They have an intrauterine device. Oh, no. The intrauterine device is blocking the power. I mean, the God of the universe is not going to bow to an IUD and be like, "Dang it. She was meant to have one." I love it. What's the saying that if you're doing natural family planning, you're planning to have a family naturally? Yeah. I think that's true. Everyone that I know that's done that has done that. Yeah. gotten naturally pregnant i will say i don't think i i don't see a world where we use birth control again we're doing pull and pray for this next this next round i think by the time you've pulled pray has not been effective for us babe that did not work in the past we'll do other things i think we would pursue a more natural option okay um all right this one is a little unhinged but i'm just gonna like leave a blank where this person said a potty word it said do you still blank during pregnancy matthew james and the answer is yes of course why would you not there's a lot of reasons why you would not do you think okay do you think do you think the intimacy is better during pregnancy or don't be honest i mean i think that's inappropriate to ask you can just say it is i mean it's okay i think it may be um i think the only challenge with like intimacy during pregnancy is as when you get to this stage where the belly is in the way where it becomes a logistical problem yeah like it kind of limits you to activities but you still find a way you know where there is a will there is a way that is exactly right baby and uh last but not least oh can we do two more this is actually it says i want a third baby but my husband doesn't any advice that is so tough what do you do in that situation i actually have no idea what to say i don't know that's a really tough place to be in yeah you can just bully him into into saying yes no no no no no i would say but then if you do that then he could be then he could like resent you have an open and honest conversation about where you're both coming from yeah and then i would say let it rest for for some time like you both can sit on each other's like thoughts and just like let it rest for i'm talking like a couple months and then you can just let it rest for a couple months and then you can just let it rest for a couple months yeah and then revisit the conversation and be honest about any changes both of you have come to because i do think you both should be on board for that but i will say i don't think i usually hear stories of people being like i regret having this child yeah you know um what's one name matt likes that abby hates just say it you can just say it i don't think and i've hated any of your names you're hating in my names no so then why why don't we go with fletcher for this kid i don't hate it i don't hate it in fact i was very open to it right it's okay you'll come up like with a way cooler name for baby for the next baby you know whenever that happens i think honestly you're really good at naming our babies you've named all of the babies if anybody needs any name suggestions just holler at your girl right here she's a she's an expert name baby name generator you don't even need the baby generator apps just just talk to abby howard no i think you have to know your baby and know what's right i feel like i'm just in tune with our babies are we going on a baby moon is that happening man who's got the time i want to go on one so bad i hate leaving our kids so much but i know but like come on i i think i can we should do like two nights two nights somewhere tropical okay plan it i'll plan it okay i love baby moons it's so much fun it is i love going to the spa i want just relaxing just hanging out together reading books let's do it okay let's do a baby moon and then all you can come on all you can eat oh luxury let's go um we also have what plans you have in place to manage postpartum anxiety and or depression something we have said that we're going to do differently this time is have nobody stay with us for um x amount of time i think we said the first month wait no this is genius so this is how this is we're dumb guys and we we just had like a bazillion people at our house when abby was freshly postpartum last time i think that was just like way too much for you i think like you were we were hosting people i thought i think it's what i thought i wanted but weirdly what you wanted was everyone out of the house just you and the newborn that's it yeah that's all you wanted and so this time what we're doing is we're only gonna have abby and me and our newborn and we're sending the boys to be at grandma and grandpa's for a few days and that way we can just focus on each other they're not gonna be gone wait you gotta re-say that talking about like a couple days yeah for the first few days at home and then we'll see them all day during the days and then but just like at night just me matt and the baby to bond and really like intentionally yeah like get bonded with this baby and that way and then for the first month we're not gonna have anyone stay at our house and that way i can like fully focus on you except our family needs and everything that you need and you can focus on the baby and so that way everyone's being taken care of yeah yeah i think that'll be good because i feel like i i thought that that's what i would have wanted both times and turns out you're right i don't think that's what i actually wanted so if you had any funny moments this pregnancy anything anything funny oh yeah i mean just the fact that every time we go get an ultrasound this baby won't show his head but he'll show his private parts yeah why do they bring up the privates every time this baby is him like it's gonna be a funny baby yeah um also just the fact that you know when you're pregnant there's some funny things that happen that happen with your body yeah uh it's all natural but it's funny like the constant peeing peeing my pants part of it um tooting yeah you've been you've been dropping some bombs in the car it is smelly and why why don't you just say something can you just be like just red alert i i just absolutely ripped ass in the car like why don't you just say that why do i have to like discover it through my nose i'm like someone died i like it because i sometimes i like want to get away with it and then so i don't say anything but yeah there's no getting away with that and it's just funny too just like sometimes just sitting there with this big old belly and just being like oh what are we doing well everyone thank you for tuning in for yet another episode of the unplanned podcast if you have not already subscribed please please subscribe we're trying to get to a million subscribers this year and we need your help um we're gonna pick one of the subscribers one of you it's gonna like all of you are gonna be entered like any anyone that is a subscriber will have the opportunity to to be picked in in the in in the like giveaway we're gonna do a giveaway i think for one of our subscribers yeah we still need to figure out what the giveaway is everyone go subscribe right now to the unplanned podcast um but yeah we're just like we're so thankful for you guys this community is awesome and um it's just it's been it's been like a lot of fun doing this show for three years the more subscribers we get the bigger the guests the cooler the interviews the better the episodes um so thank you i hope that you've enjoyed spending time with us today yeah we love you guys and thankful that you're going along on this journey with us i know a lot of people that have started listening um are also parents that have experienced loss and are maybe navigating a new pregnancy or have already done that or are like just so many things so like um sometimes they can feel really isolating to just embark on you know this new journey or you feel misunderstood in ways or you feel like you're moving like i feel like sometimes i'm like the thing is like oh you're moving on then you feel misunderstood i don't know all these things like just say like you're not alone in what you're going through and i hope that this podcast could be a it would be an honor to me if this podcast could be a small reminder that like we're not alone and that um maybe you don't know anyone in your small in-person community but just like online like you know someone that has the same experience as you because i get that from you guys so um that's a long-winded way to say like really grateful that um we have a safe place to be vulnerable like this and that you're listening we love you guys we'll see you in the next episode peace out dudes peace out labor day savings are happening now at the home depot with select appliances starting at $399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases of $998 or more get a whirlpool laundry tower featuring industry-first uv clean technology designed to reduce bacteria in the wash without fading fabrics plus with great prices at the home depot you can save on select appliances designed to make laundry day easier shop labor day savings at the home depot with select appliances starting at $399 plus save up to an extra thousand dollars and get free delivery on appliance purchases at the home depot today offer valid august 27th through september 16th us only see store online for 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