Pregnancy, C-Section Guilt & Morning Sickness

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Täällä on tärkeää, että mä olen tärkeää, että mä olen tärkeää, että mä olen tärkeää, että mä olen tärkeää. Täällä on tärkeää, että mä olen tärkeää. - I've done this four times, and every time I'm like, "I'm gonna really eat healthy and try to do this." Get broccoli. Literally, that's the only time I threw up. - Yeah. - My body rejected it. - We don't need that. - Oh, my goodness. - You guys are using that. - You're using that baby. - Welcome back to "Ois Here." - Welcome back to "Ois Here." - We're your host, Abby Howard. - And Abby Howard. - How are you feeling? - It's so much better. - We got hit with a nasty stomach bug. I'm assuming it was noraviris. Just with how it was in and out, and so punchy. But I also didn't look like this actually day two after norms. Really? You didn't look like this. So maybe it was just like a 25-hour thing. - I was really down. - I thought I needed fluids. - Okay, then maybe it wasn't that. - But it could've been. I mean, okay, so CJ got down with it on Saturday, and he got sick a lot, like 10 times. But by the end of the night, he was already on the up and up. And we didn't get it for a couple days. We felt fine, felt totally normal, Wednesday. Well, I guess Tuesday night late at midnight. I go, "Oh, my tummy don't feel good." - It was midnight. - Why were you awake at midnight? - I was reading our book. - I finished it. - Okay. - I told you I would. - You did it. - I did it. - Oh, and that's probably what did you in? - Yeah, it was all those words. It just made my stomach uncomfortable. - Wait a minute. - Midnight. - On Tuesday night. - Oh my gosh. - My stomach feels really weird. And then I went to bed, woke up at 4 a.m., and I said, "I will puke at some point." And I had those frownies on my face. I said, "I have to get up before I take these frownies off." Or if I throw up with these on, my forehead will get ripped off my face. - So I had that tight. - There, that tight. (laughing) - So I got up at 4.30 in the morning. It was taking a lot of days. - Did you wake Caleb up because you knew you were to throw up? - No, I didn't. - Oh, no, I can't. - I didn't. - I don't know. I'm not scared of it like you weren't there. - I'm terrified. - I mean, when he got up for work, and I think he got up at 5 a.m., and I went back to bed, and I said, "Hey, I think I have the stomach flu." And I guess he went to work and then came back, and I was still asleep and he said, "Yeah, I have it too." And all day we were down. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah, Caleb had it way worse than I did, but it was just one of those things where you're on your back on the couch, just open your eyes. - You guys were the only grownups I got it. - I know. - If you were around the kids that are Jim, and none of the, no one got it. Yeah, and I feel like CJ got at the worst of all the kids, too. So, I don't know what that says about our family. - Your immune systems are down, from down, down, down, from lockdown. I actually was thinking about that voice, though. - I know you finally got the courage to come back to Jim. - Literally, two weeks in, two weeks in, the worst of them all. - The stomach bug. - I actually think I have a hot take. I think this, I think I would rather a stomach bug than a nose, not flu situation. - I mean, probably same. - You guys are both in the two percent. - I know, but it's because it's one miserable day, and one day of a lot of cleanup. But then after that, it's gone whereas the sinus respiratory infections they last for like 10 days. - Yeah, but you can tell yourself you're better if you have a sinus respiratory infection. You cannot tell yourself you're better if you're vomiting. - I know, I think it's like a clear down, and then a clear clear. - You know what I mean? - I mean, I get your saying, I do not agree. - I literally, Griffin threw up one time. Oggy never got sick, and Griffin threw up one time, and Matt was gone, and I literally was like, - Who do I alert? (laughing) - I cannot, I know. - I was so scared, I was like, really? - It smells so bad. Well, I was also being a really selfish mom. I was like, I touched this, I know. - I could get it, and that will be the end of everything. - I know. - It was so bad. - It was bad. - But I don't understand how Griffin threw up one time, since he did throw up 10. - I know, I'm like, maybe they got something different, but I don't know what different they would have gotten, you know, Griffin also had a really big day, the day that that happened, but it's still unusual for him to throw up. I mean, we skipped maps, we went hard all day, and yeah. - To recipe for. - Yeah, that just didn't seem like him, so I think he definitely had a touch of it. I don't know if that's even possible, but. - I mean, I think he had to, I don't know, it's, I was thinking about that voicemail from last week when she asked about having anxiety with the more kid she has with sickness, and I think I've come to a conclusion of why I had that, and I think because my capacity was so maxed out these last six months, I just felt like I couldn't handle another thing, and so I felt like if my kids got sick, it would just tip me over the edge of my sanity, and so I waited to bring them back to childcare until I knew I could handle them getting sick. - Hey, that's smart. - So two weeks in, we get the stomach bug, and I was like, hey, we're ready for this. I wasn't stressed out. - Good thing babies don't usually get that. I don't think they even, yeah. - I'll rip her pack next week if she does, but yeah, I was kind of thinking about that. I think that'd be really weird for a six month old to get it. - It came really a throw up, I don't think. - Yeah, the spit up. - Yeah, just, I was thinking about that the other day, I'm like, would I know the difference between it, Braille's throwing out versus if it's better? - Maybe that's a kid. Maybe it would just be constant. I don't know. I've never experienced that with like, an underlying old. - Let me really scary too with like the hydration and stuff. - Right. - Yeah, I'm so sorry. - Yeah, but we made it through. - He made it through. - Sorry, thanks for rescheduling this. - That's what I wanna hear. We are here to share the hope and the hard of the stomach virus, we all had it. - Actually, we were talking, we were like, I have very distinct memories of the stomach virus growing up, and one of them I was telling Matt was, which was really ironic, given everything. I was like, Matt, my most distinct memory, I literally remember walking in my parents' room. I was one of those kids that never knew when I was gonna vomit. I was like, I don't feel like I'm puking their door with. Like, I honestly, as a parent, I think that'd be so funny. - I still get that way as an adult. I don't know when it's coming, 'cause I'm just like, oh, you're anxious, so anxious. But I vomited in my parents' doorway, and I remember what it was, but I was part of the details. And my brother was in my dad's stay-home with me that day, 'cause both my parents worked full time growing up in my dad's stay-home with me, and me and him. Maybe he had it too. We watched life-size, two times. I watched the whole movie with Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan, and then I was like, let's watch it again. And he's like, you wanna watch it again? I was like, yes, yes. And he sat in, this was before cellphones, guys. So he was just like, entertaining himself on the side. Like, he fully watched life-size, two times. - I'm so sweet. - Four hours of Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan for my dad. Shout out. Shout out. - I remember that. - That's really sweet. - It was good. - Someone said we should do a Things Our Dad taught us episode. - Oh, gosh. Maybe on Father's Day, we'll do a Things Our Dad's taught us. - I can't share what my dad has taught me. - Actually, we're really gonna have to filter that advice out. - We're really gonna have to filter that advice out. - I actually think I'm probably a little bit more like my dad than my mom, which people would probably be surprised by. I used to think I was more like my dad. I think now I'm like, it really even makes. Honestly, I feel like I see a lot of things in my mom, but I'm like, and I see a lot of things in my dad. Whereas before I used to only really, really lead to my dad on stuff. - Yeah. - You definitely lean more towards your dad, I would say. - I don't know, because my dad feels more like sensitive. Well, no, I'm probably more like my dad. Like, more introverted. - I don't think you're sensitive. - No, I'm not. My mom's not sensitive. - Okay. - Yeah, so I get that from my mom. I don't know. I'm so flushed through it. - I'm so flushed through it. Anyway, so many good men. - I think you're way more like you're done. - Yeah, which is surprising because my dad also doesn't talk in public settings, and I can't. I saw that video by Elana Marr, you know. - I think she's hilarious. - She said, this was recommended to me. So I think it was like, you know that this relates to you. It's like, shout out to all my extroverts. And she's like, I cannot contain myself. She's like, he's explaining all the circumstances and what she's like, I don't wanna talk to you. I mean, she's like in an elevator. And she's like, I gotta talk about the weather and what I'm doing that day. And it's like, I don't know if I'm necessarily like that in that way, but I definitely like get energized from being around people. And then like, when I come home from something, I'm like, wow, I gotta like, settle down, settle down. And then Matt's like, already cashed out. - Yeah. - And so I'm like, man, interesting. - Totally. - This week's episode, we're actually gonna be talking about our February march. Book club, book, atmosphere. We're saving that for the end of those of you that didn't read the book. Then you can just dip out a little early or you can listen to it and just know that there's gonna be spoilers. But for those of you that participated in the book club, look forward to that at the end of this episode. - Yes. - Crazy weekend. We had a party over here. CJ got sick. There's a lot going on in TV. - Our in-laws were in town. - Yeah, we watched a ton of TV. - You did. That's a lot of stuff, that's the time. - A lot of secret lives in Mormon wives. A lot of Disney movies. - Well, you know, why does that feel helpful? You're been scrolling on your phone. It does. It does. I was like, keep the screen time to a minimum. Glute to the TV. Watch the TV. That's actually sad. Like that was like brain rot when we were growing up and now brain rot has gotten so crazy. Worse. Well, the TV is on 24/7 now with March Madness starting in our household, so. Oh, yeah. We started at 9 a.m. this morning. That's too late to make a bracket. Yes, dang it. Missed it. Blake sent it to our family group chat and I didn't do one. It was for his work. Oh, $1,000. I had no odds, and it was sheer luck. I don't know. I need to see your study up for my bracket. But yeah, I like the name of that school. We're not really a TV family. We don't really-- I think it's because Matt gets the ADHD. If the TV were on, he would have to be cashed out from everything else and watching it. So yeah, I grew up in a TV family. Caleb changed that in maybe because he's like, hey, during the day, we should be productive. And so I had to learn to turn the TV off, which I used to just love the background noise of it. But now I do find it distracting. So I mean, I never have an on during the day. Yeah, I changed that in me too. But after dinner time, we always have a show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Well, it's a little sad that the Secret Lives of Mormon Rice seems healthier than scrolling on your front. I didn't watch it, but it's crazy. This season has been crazy. And the news just broke as we're recording this, that the Basherette has been canceled. Man, they took a risk and it didn't work out. I know how expensive everybody is for all the time. So every single Sunday they had booked on the TV network. Like, when are they like, what are they going to fill it with? What are you going to do that time with? I mean, there's so much. Can you think about all those men that went into time off work and now they're not going to get their five minutes of fame? I mean, all the production, everything. Yeah, I mean, you know, can you look that up? I bet you can see how much it costs to produce a season. Yeah. I'd be so curious. Producing a season of the Bachelor costs $7 million. Honestly, I thought it'd be more. Me too, actually. Yeah. So this says that there's like travel and dates staffing over 200 producers. Well, the lead salary, which can range from 100,000 to 250,000. She's getting paid more than that for that. Contestant costs. They're not paid. They're not paid that stuff, really? I'm sure. They're not paid, but they must put their own wardrobe and stuff to appear. And then the rings are gifted, but preface. I do not agree with anything she's done. It actually makes me sick when I watch the video. I want to see the season. I know. I kind of want to watch the season too. I want to watch it. She's kind of interested in how you're like, no. I just want to see how big it is. It was a stretch to me getting like, no. It was going to be crazy and I want to watch. I know. It would have been interesting to watch. I understand why they canceled it. Yes. And I think that was probably a good call. But yeah, I just hope everyone involved. It's just hard, really hard situation. I just got a pipe in for those of you that also dislike reality TV. I just can't find it fun. Even all this like conversation, it just really actually stresses me out. Really? So bad. Well, I think the real housewives does stress me out, but it actually doesn't feel stressful, because it's just so light. Oh, I think the secret lives of Mormon wife dresses me out even more than a house. Really? It feels a little too close to her. I was going to say, it is kind of person without them being creators. And like the whole, it's all about creator events and brand deals and not just makes me nauseous. Can I say, I broke the news, so I feel like our whole front group that canceled it. And I had to mute. I was like, here's the thing. Guess who broke the news to me? Your Blake. Blake. That's-- I love the way the husband's getting into the-- you would never admit it, but he does watch it. I mean, your dad watches it with your mom. Oh, my god. So sweet. What is up with that sweet? They just love TV. They just love TV, man. It is something-- I don't know why the housewives feels different than secret lives, because I think, well, they're older. Well, I think with housewives, it's been on for so long that you kind of pick up the patterns. Like, oh, they're going to this dinner just so they can have a fight. Or they're going to this event just so they can have a fight. That's why I feel like that's-- No, but I feel like the secret lives Mormon-wise maybe feels different, because all that drama continues off camera. And you see it on their videos and stuff. I'm like, oh, this is real. Yeah. More so to me, than like the-- That's not the thing. I don't believe it. I don't believe any. I have so much distrust with media in general. I'm like, I don't-- I've also never seen it. Is it mostly them fighting? No. No, I think-- Parts of it. Parts of it. I think the reason it does feel real is because they're taking the stuff that's happening in the show and posting it on their Instagram story, like in real time. Or I was just watching season three. And I realized I forgot to watch it. And she-- Demi was like, I'm going to go live right now and expose everything that's happening. And they're like, she can't do that. That's against her NDA. And they're like chasing her down. So she doesn't go live on Instagram. They break the fourth wall a lot. Yeah, they do. On this, you guys are more of wives. Like, they're like-- For doing your part. I like that, though. I know. I do like that. Like Whitney being like, this is business for me. Like, we're not friends. And she's like, I'm here to do a brand deal with mom talk. Yes. It's so interesting. But it's so interesting. Like, I don't-- I'm also a creator. That doesn't-- I don't relate to any part of that. I don't want to draw my-- I really don't know. I really don't know. I have a really hard time. Sometimes I think about that. I'm like, if I were in their shoes, well, I would never get casted for a show like that. Because we're the least drawn, like, petty people. I'm like, I'll just forgive. I'll just forgive-- forgive forgive. I'm like, I don't-- That's just-- Take a bath. Let's just have a-- Let's just have a-- Let's just have a-- Do I want to be-- Do I want to be-- Do I want to be-- I don't know the last time I ever got in, like, a fight. Are there kids in it? No. Oh, OK. No. Wow. But they all have such like big things going on. So it's kind of fun to follow their-- It's really-- if they did us, it'd be, like, splash pad. Burn boot camp. Yeah. This is really mom talk. Less than dinner and go to bed by 9/30. Girls night, once a month. Girls night, we just sit around eat cookies. That's hot. Sometimes we do a sexy dance class. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a good concept. Oh. But that's a good idea. I was having no idea. OK, wow. OK. Well, this is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- Well, this is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- This is why I'm not-- I don't know. [MUSIC PLAYING] And nothing to do with the movie. I-- someone came up like 20 minutes into the show and they're like, oh, what's your seat number? And I was like, what? I'm going to leave right now. What? I'm not in this conversation. Before that, they were behind us. And they looked at the girls who were sitting and said, are the people who took their seats. Because the people who came to you were originally in the wrong seats. Oh, so they sent them over. Yeah, but the people who went up to them looked at them and said, figure it out. What is-- it's a movie theater. I almost-- I was sure it's actually sweating. We all just went, why? I started sweating, because I didn't purchase my own ticket. My friend purchased it, and I've been older. I had no idea what my seat number was. So it was like, it's me, I'm the girl. It's like a problem. I've been older. Like, we had a seat, but I'd take it. I had been scanned in, but I honestly-- I don't know what-- this is about me with that. Just really panicked me. Yeah, I was like, I have to leave right now. And then they started walking around to the other side. And we're like, someone comes in, where are you? I'm scared. I was scared. She's like, what's your seat number? And I was like, oh, she said it me, not just kindly wondering. Well, you know what, that's how my brain told me what happened, but I also was just so frazzled. I was just saying, they were open seats. There were a lot of open seats in this theater. Yeah, I said to Angel next to me, I was like, I need to leave. She's like, everything's fine, you have to. I was literally like, panicking. What is it about the small social interactions? Where it's like, if I'm going to get in trouble for something that I know, I'm going to get in trouble for another big deal. But the little things that you're caught off guard for are like, oh, my gosh, I'm going to cry. I have no plan for this. I am completely improvving this situation. And I don't know what to do. Anyway, the movie, what would you put in you think about it, Eddie? I thought it was good. I liked the book better, obviously. What was it called? Reminders of him. Reminders of him. I'm not to be confused with regretting you, because I actually read that thing. Is it just us that read both of them back to back? I don't know if it was a worldwide thing, but parallel. Both of them back to back, and then watch the movies back to back. But my biggest thing was the casting did not-- was not who I envisioned. And so then it was like, it hurt me during the movie. I just-- I felt like it was forgettable. Yeah. I was kind of just like, you'd have to jog my memory about everything that happened and took place in that. And yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just kind of done with calling Hoover Thing, but I do think I'm going to read her next one, because it's a thriller. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of fun. I'm going to listen to it on audio book, because actually it's about a podcast. Oh, cool. That's what's interesting. It's a podcast thriller type of thing. Oh, we're not doing the book talk yet. Oh, my gosh, stop. Anyway, I thought the movie was-- I was fine. I mean, I'm not hating on it. [BLANK_AUDIO] the actress did a good job but I was like maybe it's just not my genre let's be honest I did as well I did cry one off topic thing that hurt me during it was the main character what's his name ledger his hair should have been buzzed it was just a little too long it was needed to be cleaned up I don't know why they chose that look for him I thought he would have looked a lot better with a little bit of scrap and completely like shaped off his name is ledger yeah I'm sorry I've never read any of her books but every time I hear a character's name from her books I'm like I don't like that they're off I mean so she's like you don't like ledger either right I don't like that I don't mind it I actually kind of I just I guess because I just know all of the names that she picks her books are kind of odd that I'm just me to like come on come I was thinking that that's kind of normal pick a yeah okay Kenna okay this kind of ledger I know this because I'm currently listening to the audio book it's a little awkward to listen to it's funny um so there's my on exciting opinion on that I feel like don't go to the theater I would say watch it if you read the book but don't go to the theater if you haven't already interesting not really necessarily worth it well oh we haven't even said this yet she's the biggest thing of all I forgot that this episode was about we started talking about other things I'm pregnant that feels so weird to say here I feel like for so long I know we've been dodging it I just got so comfortable not talking about it right anyway it's not like I really talk about that much of my personal life either I feel like yeah I feel like we yeah I was just talking about others yeah yeah I mean yeah it was just different this time like navigating everything is different everything is different this time so how far along are you I am 19 weeks so yeah but times comes out I'll be 20 you've hidden it very well really yes thank you yes very well I keep saying it's not that it was necessarily a secret from like like everyone in my life has known for a month like in my real life but it was just kind of like I wasn't ready to talk open it up to the whole internet you know sure type of thing um so yeah it's like that's why it feels weird I guess because it's like it's become so common in a way like in regular conversation in life except for like these couple hours at the cameras that are on right just like avoid it but yeah so halfway which is exciting I actually saw recently that the biggest like growth jump you experience is from 18 to 22 weeks which actually I was like that kind of surprised me and then I was like actually know that checks out I think it makes a lot of sense because by the end I feel like you just start to like you pop yeah well at the end you're growing the baby's growing a lot but I feel like you already have like all this it's just like they just start taking up more the percentage of it and now it's just like right now it's just like yeah fluid yeah you feel whatever's happening but I felt kicks at 17 weeks which was such a gift and so now it's like feeling like better and real but it's been wild journey found out on my birthday I actually didn't know that yeah well I didn't believe it so I didn't really care about that yeah I was like it's some there's a line there and what does that mean I was confused did you know how it all happened it was in Branson right no no no I took a test when you're in Silver Dollar City I took a test on Thanksgiving and it was negative okay and because I took it like a couple like a little early and I feel like everything was off with like my ovulation did you just feel off no I we were we were hoping to be pregnant okay like it's time for my period so we're like I'd be exciting if it was positive because it's Thanksgiving yeah and but if it's negative it'll be okay because it's still a good day because it's Thanksgiving yeah and it was negative we're like boo and then got back from our birthday trip and I was like that's so weird my period's still hasn't started I took a test and there was like a faint line and then I was like I don't know what that means yeah so then the next day I took a digital notice pregnant and I still didn't believe it actually wait that's crazy yeah the video's very anticlimactic why did I think you did it when you were visiting family no that's when I started to have bleeding did I tell you about any of that no yeah so I had and that was six week five I think was six weeks I started to have bleeding and so I thought it was like all done you did tell me this because that's when you told me that you're pregnant and that's also why we started to wait to tell people yeah for like a little bit because it just felt like it was game over for sure and I mean the whole pregnancy has been honestly like a mental warfare right in a way but fighting for like joy and excitement and I feel like we're getting to like a different stage of it now since we're past like that 17 and a half week mark when we lost Emerson that six weeks I started to bleed like experience bleeding and I have never experienced any bleeding in a pregnancy before and so that was when we told I don't know that why you told us before that actually because you told us over Christmas no I know but that was still I told you that that would have been at eight weeks then I told you oh so you went to St. Louis before oh okay okay yeah I'm just figuring out this timeline sorry yeah we're putting the pieces back together in hindsight it's really all blurry it's very confusing like what not well yeah and we told okay so here's how the sister in law's found out was really there was controversial this is controversial you can say Caleb we went to Christmas yeah it's just Christmas we went to church and Caleb came home after he goes I think Abby's pregnant and I said why and he goes I don't know she just she was working tight dress and she's normally really small and I she just kind of looked like she had maybe a bump and I was like that's a crazy thing to say he was like he was like and but not embarrassed but he was like I don't you know I don't mean this in it like she was great but like there's a little bit of a bump and I look back at my picture and it did kind of look like he had a ball I'm like how do I not notice that and then they asked didn't he ask you no he did not ask me I'll clear his I think he asked Matt he pulled Matt aside outside and he said I think Matt told me this we might be getting this right wrong because we're hearing about it from her husband it's dirty and but Matt he looked at Matt and he was like Abby's pregnant and then Matt was like yeah I remember they disappeared for a long time and I was like where are they you guys were always weird yeah because I had a present that I wanted to give you and met at the same time it was a shirt yeah yeah yeah yeah which is so unusual for the two of them I feel like there's a lot of time from the whole family so we're like where did they go yes they're saying maybe Kale didn't tell me that until after you guys told me and that was why for sure I had no idea why they were disappeared I didn't know either so he told me that he thought you're pregnant after you guys told us well because then Matt pulled me aside and he's like you have to tell Abby right now because Caleb knows and he's not gonna like it wasn't as a bad digger giver so he's not gonna keep a secret yeah and so once again it's not that it was a secret it just felt like everything was so fragile it was so fresh then we told you on Christmas and then with Abby and Blake remind me how this all happened yeah so this happened when did we go to the Tea Party was that after Christmas like the beginning of January no it must have still been like late December late December okay so it was late December and that morning we are actually let's start back on Christmas also Christmas Eve Blake's making wings and Abby cannot stand the smell of it like she was like making remarks about the smell I didn't know this Blake told me it after the fact and Blake's like they were really stinky like it was like what do you mean like are you pregnant and then he was like can you felt bad for saying that Abby didn't acknowledge I don't think she said she didn't really hear it or like I know that you're saying that like I kind of remember it or remember it but I wasn't like offended or yeah and so then Blake was like like yeah yeah like you felt bad about it and then fast forward a couple more days we go to a Tea Party and yeah this wasn't slime me let's first say I also was saying we went to the Tea Party last year and I was pregnant and I was nauseous I was like guys I remember being so nauseous yeah I was like what is a little salmon locked yeah bagels and she got we get there and caviar she's taking a little bite she's like gagging and then I am again remember how I found out about like your pregnancy with Emerson like I was just reading something I was really investigating it so then Abby's like I can't have caviar like I she didn't say I'm like you're like I'm not gonna eat that and then I see her look something up on her phone and she was I'm gonna eat it you can have it when you're pregnant I was like you shouldn't it tastes nice oh my gosh you and your mom are looking at each other so I'm like okay Lori knows if she's pregnant Lori knows and I was like okay then that night also the grandmas were there and easy wanted to wait yeah yes yes and so that night we went to go see the Christmas lights and we went to dinner beforehand and Abby wasn't really eating and she ordered would you order I ordered chicken figures and you didn't want them she would give away and I was sick if it was okay use I was like she's like oh they just look so bad oh yeah and you were and Blake like like whenever she walked away Blake goes I think Abby's pregnant I'm like no way this happened today and we talk about our things and we're like the whole time we're walking we're like what's going on here so then I think you guys knew and then you were investigating or interrogate my mom yes and then I'm like you have to tell them immediately and so then we call the emergency family game night and we didn't play any games and we just told you we knew emergency Bailey game night it was just a red day they were like game night in pizza and I'm like like they're gonna tell us they're pregnant so we have to go oh my gosh not that we weren't going to go but we're like we got to make this work was that before after always here dinner at bugger writer that was right before it was right after because you didn't get alcohol and I didn't get a drink and you ordered sushi and had one piece I was like I better start eating the sushi or I just gonna know oh I knew I knew with that I mean when we were there I knew because you didn't get you like hold you yet that exactly that's what I'm saying I kind of knew but you had told me in And I, I was like, I can only eat the bread. - I was looking to eat like, eat your soup. - There is, there is literally, no. - I think this was the timeline. I think Saturday is when we had the tea party. Monday was always here dinner and then Tuesday you told us. - Okay, so we were getting into crunch time. - Yeah. - I was like, so it was so fun to have a terrible job of hiding my symptoms. Gosh, it's such a whiner. - Caleb's gonna be really embarrassed that I told the internet that. But he didn't mean it. I mean my Caleb, he was right. I mean, it was clear in the dress when I looked back and looked offended at all. - Thank you to Shopify for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Shopify has been a huge player in my life. I actually use Shopify for five years when I had my small clothing business and it was the best platform. Shopify truly was so user friendly. I mean, it just made the job so much easier. I love Shopify. And starting something new isn't just hard. It's actually terrible. So much work goes into this thing and I feel like Shopify truly made it really easy to use. 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It's very user-friendly and it just makes your business operations much smoother. It's time to turn those what ifs and two? (bell dings) With Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com/abby. Go to Shopify.com/abby. That's Shopify.com/abby. - That's what's been happening. - What did your, was your first trimester? Did you feel as nauseous as like the past pregnancies? - So, Griffin and Augie, I took nothing for nausea and I didn't know you could take anything. - You just suffered. - I just threw up when, like I'm not gonna say I had the worst morning sickness ever, but I did get sick. And then when I was pregnant with Emerson, my, I was at a new doctor and they're like, oh, you can take something. They're like, they were more than happy to give me prescription, but they're like, why don't you start with taking unison and B6? - Yeah. - And that was enough for me. Like it, obviously I can't eat normal. I can't like, I would still gag, but I never threw up with Emerson and I never threw up this time either. - Yeah. - Because of that combo. I never felt like I needed to go to the prescription medication. But yeah, definitely, it's so weird. When you're pregnant, you know, like those things that people say, like, oh, I can't eat food for my own house or I can't eat like any vegetable. Like, why is that so true? Like I've done this four times. And every time I'm like, I'm gonna really eat healthy and try to do this. And obviously things, for me, I'm, it all ends after the first trimester. - Really? - Yeah. But it's so weird. Like I was like, one day I was like, I am making this up. I'm literally like, I'm making this up. Get broccoli, literally. That's the only time I threw up. And it wasn't like throwing up. It was just gagging it. - Yeah. - It was like, you're not eating that right? - Don't, we don't eat that. - I'm like, the baby, you need that. - The baby needs it. - I never eat McDonald's. I want it in the first trimester. I think McDonald's is really kind of gross, need it. So, yeah, it's very comparable to Emerson's, but likely because of the medication. - Yeah, that makes sense. - Can we make that a PSA to all pregnant women is that you know something B6? Try it as soon as you find out your pregnant. - Ask your doctor, but then try it. 'Cause my friend just told me she was pregnant and just got through her first trimester and no one ever told her about that. And she was really sick. - Doesn't not make you question like, why don't they make an over the counter medication? That's just whatever is that combo of ingredients that makes that work. - Yeah. - And they can just call it morning sickness medication. - Well, maybe we should and we could become - Let's do it. - Let's do it. - It's a good idea. - They can get bought out by pharmaceutical companies. - It's crazy. Like, why do we have to just like go ahead and start like mixing supplements and medications to try to come back to that? - I don't know. - They don't even know what causes that. - Right. - They only like hormones. And you're like, that's not actually an answer. When you really think about it. - Is unison the sleeping medication? - It's a sleep aid. So I only take half of them because it is enough to - Knock you out. - Yeah. - Did you take half or did you take a full? - I took a full and then once I hit, once I stopped getting morning sickness, I weaned off and I did a half. 'Cause I was so scared to get off of it and feel morning sickness again. - Yeah, I remember that. - And then I took off of it. - Gotcha. - I never had nausea. - That is wild. 'Cause it makes like 90% of pregnant women. - Both babies. Vivian, I had one day where I was like, I am going to puke, I never did. And it was like two days before I took my test to find out that I was pregnant. - Weird. - 'Cause I was like, I didn't even hit that early. - I know, that's what I was surprised too. But I did. I had one, 'cause we were in the Dominican Republic for Kielb's work trip and I brought one pregnancy test 'cause I said, this is the weekend that I'll get my period. So I'll bring it just, we can test it on vacation. And it was the day before I took, I think it was the day before. I was so sick and I was like, this is really weird. And sure enough, I was pregnant. But with CJ, I had nothing. 'Cause normally I feel like the worst weeks are like weeks, seven to 10. Week 10 is like, down bad. I mean, I'm on my back tired, but I don't get it. - Yeah, yeah. - I was six through 10, I was nauseous. - Yeah, six through 10. - No, I was able to go. - No, no, actually six through 12. I feel like mine peaks at 10 though. Well, after you were the most sick at it. - I was really sick. - You were really sick. I'm like, but I have immense sympathy for you all. Because that nausea issue was insane. And I just think about that, it's different. I don't think it probably is. Nausea is nausea. I'm like, that's gotta be how it is every day of pregnancy. - I think the difference is, I'm also not afraid to throw up. So I would throw up every single day. - Yeah. - Just because I was like, it'll make me feel better. - Wait, you didn't do it on purpose? - No, I just felt nauseous and so I'd go and I'd throw up. - Oh, I fought it for my life. I'm laying it down, I'm wasted so much worse. - That's like, I ain't installed teens. - Like, please, what happened to you? Was your mom scared of throwing up? - It's a real phobia. - Because you and your brother are both like that. - It's in my bones. - It's in Blake's bones too. - I am. - Because he was telling you that I don't look her up. - But also, I have a theory that when I throw up, it's a violent experience. Like, I popped blood vessels in my face. - That's because you're trying to hold it in. - Is that it? - Yeah. - I feel like-- - No, I'm gonna breathe through it. - I'm gonna breathe through it. - He's gonna breathe through it. - No, I can't. - I was coaching CJ. I was like, take a deep breath, relax, and go. (laughing) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - I will do anything to avoid it. - Oh, and so, yeah, no. - Had a lot of nausea, weird cravings. Weird, yeah, I guess my cravings, I don't know, if I had weird cravings. - Oh. - If you're comfortable talking about your food categories, how does that change during first-time as well? - Oh, everything's out the window. - Really? - What do you mean your food category? - What is this? - I'm a very routine person with food. - Oh, yeah. - Like a hot dip fit in a category of breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, dessert. - Okay. - And there's, it has a fit in a category out of the door of first-time as well. - Really? - No. - And you can do that mentally. - Mentally, you can do that. - Oh, there's survival for sure. - Okay. - Just not even a, it doesn't even actually cross my mind. It's actually, I have a hard time eating, like anything. So it's like, I know that I'm already at a deficit for everything because I like, I'm like, cheese-case-dea, and like nibbling it. - I just cannot relate to that. My first-time, I'm so hungry both times after I'm at right now. - I gained some, probably some of the most weight in my pregnancy in the first time I started because I'm starving. - That's where I'm at right now, really. Like, I cannot get enough food in a day. - That's how I am right now. - Do you need us to go get, I have a piece of cake in my back. - Psycho crazy. - Yeah. - It's like really crazy. - Yeah, I'm like, every hour and a half. - Maybe it doesn't go ahead. - It's like, I needed like a full meal, every hour and a half. - I googled what your caloric needs are. - Don't, they lie. I'm like, this is mean. - It's like an extra 200 calories a day. - It's interesting, 50. - I'm like, okay. - But I'm, go jump, please get out of here. - I don't care. - I don't care. - That's also a blessing of a fourth pregnancy. I give zero rips about anything regarding my body. - Sure. - I'm fact more than ever. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's such a blessing to grow and to have the baby grow and like everything like this. Every symptom, so welcome. Like, even when I was like, nauseous, I was like, yay! Like, so excited. And I mean, Matt even told me recently, like, we're really in bed. He's like, gosh, he's like, I can't believe like, we're at where we are because he's like, you have literally not get blamed about a single thing. - Yeah. - And I was like, yeah, because I, you're not gonna hear a peep from me. You're not gonna, literally, I'm just so grateful. So, obviously the mental aspect of it has been like, really tough. And so that I had complained about, he did not mention that, which is obviously he wouldn't do that. But yeah, so definitely eating a lot of food, definitely getting puffy or does the fourth physically feel harder though than the first three? Is it the same? - The thing is the same. - Okay, that's great news. - I think it's the same. - Oh yeah, Abby, what was, you needed to tell people you're there. I think I said this on unplanned, but I was like, I think the first pregnancy was such a dream. Like, this is so fun. Everything about it is so beautiful and mystical and new and like a little confusing, but fun, you know? - Yes. - You feel so beautiful. And then the second pregnancy was like, this hurts. I'm sore. I feel fat. Like, you know, just like all the things. Like, it was just way harder for me to stay focused and locked in. And then you, I was like, well, maybe the first one's easy, the second one's hard. Everything just was like way more sore the second time. So maybe the third one, you know, it's like an exercise set. Your first set, you're like, okay, I have energy. The second set, you're pretty tired. The third set, you kind of get like a third wind. No, it's not like that. - No. - No. - It's not like that. - You don't get a second win with these pregnancies? - No. - I do think they're. - It's important to get harder and harder. - And actually, can I tell you my theory? - Yeah, my theory is that you get one pregnancy. The rest, you're just growing a baby. - I think I were second that. - After a baby. - For sure, you get one pregnancy, you can nap, you can like give me my craving. Like you can be like, you can be needy. Second pregnancy, pipe down. You have a child who can't suck it up. You need to wake up. - Yeah. - You take care of everything. - Right, right. - Yeah, and I'm in time with that. I think that we only need one, and then your husband can just maybe you, that just goes for him and that expectation doesn't change. - Totally. - And I also do think even for Matt, it's so interesting. And I think this is a result of pregnancy after loss, but also just like being on the fourth one, it's like, I think he has such a deep respect now. Like, I feel like he's literally worse being the ground I walk on. And I'm like, this is incredible. Let's keep doing that. And now he's like so excited too. He's like, how many kids do you want? He's like, really? He's like, we said we'd stop it for his like, but are we gonna be done? He's like, I think I'd be really sad to think that we only have one more time of doing it. And I'm like, that's amazing. I love that. I was like, what's like the door open? - Totally. (laughs) - But I do think at least in our experience, for the husband, for the dad, I feel like, also I think the nature of having more of a gap, we have a larger gap now than I ever anticipated having. I think that you just get enough time to reset and get your bearings again, you're like, wait, that was super cool. This is what we have to look forward to. And this is the precious beginnings of all that. And I feel like we both feel that, but it's cool to also see the husband experience that in a different way. - Yeah, that is really true. - Yeah, I can see that for sure. 'Cause every time, like you're saying, it does get harder. And so then your husband's like, thank you for doing this. Like, the reward of having your child is the best gift of all time. And so then it's like, thank you for literally going through. - Agey-double-l, for the agey-double-l, yeah. - Thank you to Policy Genius for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. - It's now March and we are getting settled into the new year. - All those things that we have put off. - It's all time. - It's coming to the top. And one of those things that at least in our household has been insurance-related tasks. Most of the time it is. It feels like a big thing, but Policy Genius makes it easy, which is really, really amazing. Policy Genius can help check protecting the life you've built off your spring to-do list. Financial planning for the future can feel overwhelming, but finding the right insurance policy can help ease that weight. I feel like with life insurance, it feels like such a grown-up thing to do. It's responsible. It's responsible, especially a lot of people listening to this podcast are probably young families. And going there feels a little easier with the support of a company like Policy Genius. Policy Genius is an online insurance marketplace that allows you to compare quotes from some of America's top insurers side by side for free. Their license team helps you get what you need fast so you can get on with your life. Easily find what you need. Covered amounts, prices, terms, there's no guesswork, just clarity. - They always say that like life insurance, it's really giving you the gift of just a little space. If the worst case scenario happens so that you can just grieve and you don't have to worry about your finances. - I agree about your finances. That's the last thing you want to think about. Protect the life that you've built with Policy Genius. You can see if you can find 20-year life insurance policies starting at just $276 a year for $1 million in coverage. Head to policygenius.com/abbey to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you can save. That's policygenius.com/abbey. - So that's where the kids are excited. So that's fun. I feel like they're also just confused. - I feel like girls are a little bit more in tune with that. Even my friends, kids have daughters the same age. They're way more receptive, asking more questions that are more in depth than like, our kids, although Griffin did ask us the other day, how did the baby get in there? (laughing) - That's a daddy question. - No, Matt answered it. - Yeah, come in. I think I was like, you know, I never want to lie. - Yeah, but I don't think you can ever start those talks, too, really? - No, and it was great. And we did an awesome job, and we like, but afterwards I was like, we put a certain nut in there. I was gonna start yet, but I should have known, like all the talk that we had about like having a baby and like we're in love like all this stuff. - Anyway, I'm sure by the, I feel like see you day, it really clicked for him in the third time. I started when I was like, really had a big belly, because you know, they can visually see the baby more. And I, well, Aki thinks, uh, the baby's in here. - Of course. 'Cause those have, he's like, woo, it's in there. That's a massive sense of my house. - My niece, when I was pregnant with CJ, I was like, there's a baby in here. In my belly, so she goes, you a, your baby? - Your niece? - Yeah, oh, my cousin, sorry. - Oh, okay. (laughing) - My cousin. Yeah, she goes, you a, the baby. I said, oh, oh, you should ask your mommy about that. - You should ask your mommy how it got in there. (laughing) - I'm like, I don't know. - It logically makes sense. - I think the baby's in my belly. - I feel like an explanation is warranted, 'cause for girls, you're like, I don't want this. - I just randomly have it, right? - Totally. - I don't want, can I eat something? - I want to fall pregnant randomly. - Totally. - This will be your fourth birth. - Yes. - Does that feel daunting? - No. - No. - No. - No. - You feel like you were like, we've got this on law. - Well, especially the nature of how, like, we're gonna meet this baby is no labor. (laughing) - Yeah. - No labor. - No. - You never experienced just the scheduled C section. - Yeah. - Like, okay. I am saying this as someone that had what could be considered. I don't have trauma associated, but what could be considered as a traumatic first birth? - Yeah. - Where things didn't go right to the point where they didn't really want me to even try to attempt that. - Yeah. - A second time. - To having a scheduled C section, which really feels like you're checking in to some type of hotel. - That's a little weird. - That's a little tough. - You just show up. I had self-tanner on. I had my makeup done. - You're very curl. - My hair already fully rested. I slept all night. - Amazing. - Went in that noon, holding my baby at one o'clock. - Yeah. - More about was. - Yeah. - And I was like, that was incredible. (laughing) And my recovery wasn't that bad. So I was saying, you got to understand the live experience I'm coming from when I'm saying this. Obviously, the nature of birth number three is not one that we're going to put in the same category. It wasn't live birth and was deeply traumatic and a number of other ways. But between those two, I'm like, yeah, I'll take the second one. - Those lights went crazy. - I just thought I blinked weird. (laughing) - I was like, am I losing consciousness? - I've been getting a little black out. - Oh no. - A little black out when I stand, which maybe I think my iron might could be like. - That could be the spinach intellectualized girl in the past. - No, I had to take iron with Griffin and butt shots. - I remember that. - Yeah. - I felt much better. - I had it in my fiber journal. - Went to Abby's butt shot appointment. - Did you go? - We dropped you off. - Yeah. - I came back so chipper, that stuff works immediately. Okay, wait, let me give you a little back. - Griffin, with my first pregnancy, I was just, you don't know what to expect. - Right. - I was like, I'm pregnant. Like, I'm gonna be tired. - Right. - I'm gonna be, like, so drained and exhausted and get headaches. I was very, very tired. - Right. - They checked my red blood cell counts, normal routine blood work that you do. They said that they flag it as anemic. I believe if it drops below 55, they're like, you have five red blood cells. - Five? - And normally 55? - I was down to five. - Your lips were so white. - And they were like, you need a shot today. - You need a shot today. - Yeah. - Yeah, you need a good. - I started taking, I didn't need to give you a booster or anything. But they gave me a shot of, I think it was B12. - Uh-huh. - And I was like, is this stuff supposed to work immediately? - This is amazing. - I felt incredible. And then we went to Joshua Tree. - Joshua Tree, it was that day. - I felt so good. - Yeah, it was that day. - I felt incredible. - I don't think we got it before Joshua Tree. Anyway, what was I saying? A little more. - For labor. - So no, not, I'm not, I'm not, no, no, no. - You're not worried about it. - It is. - Well, because also it's very predictable. - Sure. - The nature of this type of delivery. That's the one perk. Oh, also, yeah. That's what I say. Our friend just had a baby. And she was like, talking about her worst case scenario, which would be her having a C-section. - Yeah. - I said, well, your worst case scenario is my inevitable. That's what's happening. So not to dismiss your fears. - Right. - But I'm like, it's not, if that's what has to happen, it's really not that bad. - Yeah. - Like they didn't have to happen for her. But I'm like, okay, we can share a positive C-section experience. - Totally. - I felt great. - Yeah, I felt fine and amazing. - For sure. I feel like I got so many messages when I was going back and forth between doing this a schedule C-section or attempting a V-back. And so many women were like, oh my gosh, I love my C-section. It was beautiful and my births were amazing. And my mom loved, she had three C-sections and she loved them. She was like, you're in, you're out, you're on the go. - You're fine. - I mean, obviously your recovery is painful. - It's more painful. - It's more painful. - And like your time in the hospital, oh, that's enough to make me attempt crazy things. - It's not an option for me. - It's not a safe option for me. - No. - And I tried. Even this pregnancy, I was like, let's reopen the conversation. Everyone was like, multiple doctors were not even slightly really entertaining. - Like, no, it's all right. - They're like, let's talk about it. They're like, no, we're not going to talk about it. - And even if I were to like find an alternate method, like they don't accept what I've had before. - Right. - So it's like, it wasn't even, it's not really even. - Which is kind of nice not having to worry about making a decision on that. - Honestly, I like it's all good. - It's all fine and dandy, yeah. - And so we're just going to make the most of that situation. I will self-tan the night before. I will be fully rested. I will. I'm just speaking all these things out there. So no, it's not daunting. The recovery, I'm like, I'm gonna do things a little differently. I'm gonna take the pain and medication. - Gosh, please. - I didn't take it last time. And I was like, why did I do that? - I can't even imagine not doing that. I was, I mean, I was in the hospital for a long time, but I needed it. - I took Tylenol. - No, but I needed the oxy. - Yeah. - I think I did too, I don't know. - I mean, you have a really high pain tolerance, so I could see maybe in the moments in the hospital, you'd be like, no, I'm good. And then you're getting home and everything they're wearing off and then freaking out. But like, that was so painful. - Oh yeah. - So yeah, that's a good, that's a really positive step to change things. - I'm taking oxies. (laughs) No, yeah, that also makes it less daunting. And also just now, I know what to expect. More from recovery, I want that ice band around there. That felt so good. - Oh, nice. - Ice packs around that area felt really, really good. - Nice. - But yeah, I mean, what are you gonna do? - Right. - That stinks that you can't pick up your other kids, but also-- - They're big enough, they're gonna be big now. - Yeah, they're not gonna. - So it's not even that big of a, the problem is that you can't lift the car seat and stuff. - Yeah, first six weeks. - Look at Duna. - I know, I kinda did anyway. Well, I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do. You do gotta do what you gotta do. Well, I did it for the first two weeks, but after that I was like, I have to load them up. - Yeah, I didn't think I, - You know what I mean? - You can't drive for two weeks after having a seat. - Right, so I didn't really, but you could always put the Duna in and then load your baby up in. - Yeah, yeah. - First yet. - Yeah, I didn't think to do that when after CJ, but you just figured out other ways later on. - I know. - Now our car seats have expired almost. - I was gonna ask you about that. Did you know that, Eddie? - No. - Your car seats expired? - After six years? - Yeah. - You should get a new-- - R's need to be expired. - You're doing it needs to be replaced. - R's need to be replaced. - The handle is like, that's a follow. - Very wobbly. - It is wobbly. - Yeah, you gotta travel with that thing. - That's fine. So yeah, no, I'm not, I'm very excited. Honestly, that's the only thing that's like kind of helped the worst days. Mentally, this pregnancy is just like envisioning. And obviously, I'm envisioning a C section like laying there and mat holding the baby and like hearing their cry and like getting back to our room. Like, that's the only thing that has like help get through. I mean, the main thing to get through those like hardest days, 'cause yeah. I mean, pregnancy after loss. Like moms that get it, get it. It's like you have your pregnancies before and then you have your pregnancies after and they are vastly different. And like honestly, like it's so interesting like the way it happened for me, like having two healthy pregnancies and then a loss and also like a late, like a late miscarriage. Like that really flipped everything upside down. And it's like I can't even actually relate or remember those pregnancies before. - Makes sense. - Which is weird and it's like, it's sad. Like I'm like, man, that was so, I didn't even know how blissfully ignorant I was. And now we're on the other side of that and you can't ever return to that. And I just think I just had to make peace with that early on. Like I was like, it's not gonna be the same. And so there's other things about it that it's like, it's so much better to fully understand like the miracle of it all. And like just, I mean, it's just the miracle of it all. - Right. - And I understand that now in a much deeper way, but I would do anything to get back to before. Like I wish I could just pretend like I don't know what I already know, I've seen what I've already seen. - Right. - But you don't get that option. - Yeah. - And you keep going on or you don't. And I totally understand moms that choose that to be the end of their road. - Totally. - There's no, I get it, that's enough to, that was almost enough to make me the fear of it all. - For sure. - Here we are. And we just really have positive visions of a redemptive pregnancy experience. And it's happening. - Yes. - It is happening. - Yes. - So we are so grateful. - So grateful. - Yes. - So excited. - It's been a lot, it's been a lot. - You've been a champion through it. - Yes, we're proud of you and we're excited. - And so so happy. - Oh, yeah. - And we can't wait to celebrate this baby. - Yes. - Thank you to Needed for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. - Being postpartum and coming out of pregnancy, truthfully your body goes through a lot. - Oh yeah. - It is a lot and it needs a lot of support. And that is where Needed comes in, which is really, really nice. Pregnancy and postpartum are some of the most intritionally demanding times in a women's life. And there are so many options for supplements that it sometimes is a little overwhelming. - Yeah, I remember just asking my doctor, like what do I actually need? - Right, what's actually gonna work? - Yes. And that's why we want to thank Needed for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Needed offers products that are formulated by experts in women's health and recommended by over 6,000 practitioners. Their starter plan includes a prenatal multi-made with bioavailable nutrient forms in omega-3 that is sustainably sourced. Their prenatal multi and omega-3 are designed to meet mothers and babies' optimal micronutrient needs. Up to 95% of mothers aren't meeting their omega-3 needs. Give your body the omega-3 it needs for fetal development, hormonal and mood balance, postpartum recovery, healthy breast milk, a healthy inflammatory response, and more. - I'm a big fan of Needed because I just really trust their brand. I love that they're developed by women that have been in this exact stage of life and know what they're doing to meet those unique needs in such a hormonally wild, physically wild time of our lives. - Head over to thisisneeded.com and use code Abbey for 20% off your first order. That's THIS and edd.com and use code Abbey for 20% off your first order. - Ask, ask, ask, Abbey. - Hi, I was just wondering if I am pregnant with my second child. My first ended in a C-section. My doctor's on board with a V-back. I know that Abbey has just had one recently. I was wondering is maybe she had any tips that I'll forget her V-back and what they would be. Thank you. - That's a great question. - Yeah, thanks for asking that. I feel like I have a lot of, I made a whole video on it 'cause I'm like, there's so many things I did differently. - Like a YouTube video? - No, I did like a real on it. I think I did talk about any YouTube video too, like my post birth part of Q&A. I feel like the biggest things, like the reason that was C-J, I had a C-section was that he never descended down. It was in a good position. So my whole goal with Vivian was to try to help my body put her in the best position for labor. And so I just did all the things. In the second trimester, I started walking daily and I try to walk at least a mile every day, just because it really helps every, I don't know, I'm not gonna get to the science of things, but I walked a lot. I did the spinning babies. I asked my doctor about it and they had a packet with all the spinning babies method exercises and like some of their tips for having a successful vaginal birth. And so I did all the exercises in there, at least in the third trimester started doing that. And then the third trimester, I did more of the holistic stuff where I did the dates and the tee every day. I bounced on that ball a lot. It was really just like strengthening my body and trying to open my hips up more so that she could descend down better. So that was the stuff that I did kind of leading up. And then this is not medical advice by any means. So take this just like with what you will. And I think every person is so different. I definitely wanted to do an epidural. I wanted to have pain management. I did not want to be induced with my second just because with CJ I felt like he just wasn't in a good position and the induction just didn't help with that. So I really wanted to try to avoid that this time around just to see if my body could naturally get her down and obviously if like I needed pitosa or those things I would have taken it. But I just wanted to do what I could naturally to get my contractions going and we're consistent. So I tried to avoid any like induction medication when I was at the hospital and things were already moving. And then I just kind of waited a little longer to get my epidural. So that even while I was having contractions and stuff I could be up and moving and she could be moving on down because I read a lot about how like when you're laying there the baby doesn't always move down as easy. So I just knew that I was from my personal experience that was my problem as that CJ wasn't in the grip best position. And so I just tried to fix it doing those things. So I don't know what led to your C-section the first time but maybe just entering some of those questions if yeah with different solutions. - Good advice. - Thanks. I'm not a doctor. My husband and I are trying to prepare our bodies to start a family and I recently found out my progesterone is very low. And with that it could make conceiving much harder and put me at high risk for a miscarriage. So with all that being said, how are you guys able to overcome the fear of the unknown possibilities? Thank you guys so much. Love you. Bye. - Oh, that's a hard one. - I'm not. What was the question? How are you able to overcome it? - Well, you know what? - You just gotta rip the band in. - Yeah, there's no way. There's no way out the other side but through it, therapy helps a lot. I understand that's like expensive and difficult. And I feel like also just know like everyone says this, like you'll probably have some good advice too. But like it's not a linear experience. Like I remember like when I got to like 17 weeks of this experience, which I mean granted, a lot of people have taken a deep sigh of relief long before 17 weeks. But that was like an extremely tough week for me. And I like gone to therapy and I was like a total mess the whole time. Like for 60 minutes straight. And I was just, I remember telling my therapist, I was like, I'm just so frustrated because I felt like I was past this. Like I felt like I had like made so much progress. Like we were like, I felt like this was all something that was behind me. And like even saying that as I was saying that, like you know they always say this stuff is not linear but then it just feels like it really should be, you know. And so just knowing that they'll be good days and there will be bad days and that neither one is not, like they're not all gonna be bad days. They're not all gonna be good days. And going into it without understanding you can just have a lot less fear attached to those bad days. It doesn't feel like, oh my gosh, this is how it's going to be forever until we meet our baby. And so yeah, that was really bordy, not helpful advice, but I think that was really good advice. I think this isn't in regards to pregnancy necessarily, I just think in general when I feel really scared, I always try to think on the other side of it, I'm like, okay, if worst case scenario things happen, will I be okay in the end? And the answer is always yes. Like I think that we can get through, we're so much stronger than we believe and know, and I have to have to have to remind myself that, I'm like, if the worst case scenario things happen, like I have family, I have Caleb, I have this. Like there are things that we have in place that can help get us through it. And obviously we don't want to go through hard things, and that's why we feel scared about it, 'cause it's like that is so horrible, and I don't want to experience that, and I don't want to do that, but if it happens, I know that will be okay in the end. And like things will look different, but we'll get through it. I think it's just reminding yourself that, and like that is where a lot of like, the faith aspect comes in, it's like I have to have faith that like, no matter what happens, I can get through this. And yeah, I don't know, I haven't really experienced, like I think a lot of scary things, but. - I think a lot of times it feels like with modern science and innovation, we can control family planning more than ever, but we still cannot control family planning. - Right. - And that is just the bottom line. I don't think this is something that will ever be guaranteed, and that's why it's such a miracle. - Yeah. - And so I think just going into this, you're already asking the right questions of like, how do I, like, 'cause I think me blissfully ignorant, even trying for our first, like I was like, we got pregnant, and then that'll be like it, and then we have our babies, and it's like, great. Nine months later, and like, you're already asking all my questions, and you already understand that this is outside of your control, and going into that, you're just already setting yourself up for like, just a posture of surrender in a way that is just like, it simply requires. Like the fact is, is some of us end up with all of our kids, and there's relatively no complications. Everyone will face complications and challenges and highs and lows, but relatively no. And the only difference between them and other people that have, you know, lived the worst case scenario is simply just luck. - Yeah. - And that's really what it boils down to. And so, just fully surrendering, and then just like, lean on your spouse a lot in your community of friends, and yeah, yeah. It's just one of those things. - It is totally, if you're a believer, pray, and journal, and bring all those fears to God. I think a lot of times saying that loud, and not like holding on to them is helpful too, like voicing those things. - Oh, totally. - Yeah, 'cause sometimes I feel like when you're sitting on a fear, and you're, it's in your head, and then you're rooming on it. It's really easy to like get into a spiral, and if you can get those out loud and speak through them, I think that's healthy. - Yeah. - Hi, Abby. I've been following you both for quite some time now, and I remember that you both had unplanned emergency-use actions with your first sports. And that was also my experience with my son, this past October. So my question is, did you deal with any feelings of failure following your C-sections, or just wondering if you could have done anything differently to prevent them? Thank you. - I had a lot of those feelings after CJ. I think that was one of the hardest things to, I felt a lot of anger at my body, 'cause I felt like my body filled me. And it wasn't necessarily that, like I was, I mean, the C-section in my head, I was like, oh, I was like mad that I had to do that, because it just seemed so hard after going through labor for so many hours. (laughs) And so I just was like, man, my body, for the first time ever, it just didn't do what I was needing it to do. And I felt very betrayed by my body. And that was a very weird feeling. And I think there was a lot of processing for that, for sure. So you're not alone in those thoughts at all. I think over time, I was like, I think there was, there's just a level of acceptance that I had to reach. So I was like, it's just okay that it happened. I think I used to look at my scar and like feel angry at times, not because I had a scar on my body. I was just like mad at my body for not working right. And I can't even really explain that, but I think it's just especially more young and healthy. And like, everything's always gone my way. It just felt like I had this reminder of all the time, of like, I always had this reminder where I would look in the mirror and like, ugh, my body betrayed me. And I think it's okay to feel that preventive-wise, I don't know. I feel like if there are things that I would do differently. I think I didn't, I don't think I actually needed the induction in the long run. And CJ was just so high in my stomach that like he was just not ready to come down at all. And so we really forced it. So I was just one of those cases though, where I had an induction and didn't work. But a lot of people have that and it works great. So I don't know, it's not like, it's just pregnancy and birth. It's just not a one-size-fits-all for everybody and everyone's experienced is so different. And they had a lot of concerns about him being too big. And so we just did what we thought was best. And so no, I don't think. But now that we know that I don't have massive babies, I'm okay not doing that in the future. You know, I feel like birth and labor is all like trial and error. - Yeah. I actually didn't have a emergency C-section my first time. He did come out, but it was an emergency situation. And so I definitely did feel feeling as a failure when they were telling me I just needed a schedule C-section after he did come out, eventually my first. I was like, you mean I'm just gonna show up and lay down and not even try? Like for me, in my spirit, like, I'm like that just doesn't sit right with me. And so I just needed to really evaluate like what was my own, like, this is gonna, this is my unique situation. I'm not saying this is other people's situation. But like what was my own ego? And what was like actually what we needed to evaluate was like wise medical sound advice from multiple professionals. And so once I like set that aside, but even still this day, I'm like, I'm really just gonna show up and lay down and get frozen and get it, like, it does bother me. - No. - And I'm like, dang, but it's just, it's just the reality of it all. And it doesn't mean that like, I'm weaker or I view myself as weaker or anything. But yeah, there's just so much complicated emotions with birth and so much like, it is all just so touchy. And a lot of women have gone through it, so a lot of people have big opinions on it. And it's also like a peak experience in our life, like you're reaching the limits of your, and so there's just such heightened emotions around it. And so it's just hard to even talk about in a way that's like not gonna step on people's toes. And like, I don't know. I've just had to learn to settle on of that, like aside, and like, this is my isolated experience for what it is. And any outside opinions on that, it's like that's actually coming from your personal experience, which really doesn't play a role in my decision-making. And so it's just like, or shouldn't. So I agree. - We're good to talk about it with everyone. - Yeah, this is what I experience, but it's really hard to be like, hey, you should do this, you should do this, I know. That's why even when I talk about like, I was induced with CJ, I get like nervous saying that, because I never want to sway someone away from doing that, if their doctors are recommending it. - I think I probably needed to be induced because-- - You did, yeah, I mean, he was big and you need to be early. - But just for frame, it wasn't even that huge. - I know, but it's just like, that's why it's so hard when I say things like that. I'm like, well, I just know that didn't work for my body the first time, so that I'll do something different. That's why I'm like-- - It's hard to sort through the advice. - It's so hard to sort through it. - Just once again, family planning is just a big, exercise and surrender, like it really is. And you can't put too much on yourself, like there's only so much of what that's within your control. And that's what's scary about it. But that's also why it's a great exercise in your own faith, too, 'cause it's just like, there's so much outside of your control. - Yeah, I remember feeling that way after my friend, after I had CJ, and I had the C-section, and I was like, well, I want to do things differently next time. And then I had a friend who did literally everything that you're supposed to do, like everything right. And then she went into labor and her body just never progressed and she had a C-section. I just remember crying and being like, okay, there's just, there's no way to ensure a perfect scenario. And so I think there was a level of that where I was like, okay, you just have to accept whatever. You really have to go in with an open. - Control what you can control. And then surrender the rest, which is, unfortunately, a lot of it. - It's actually 98%. - Let's be honest. - Yeah, I felt like mine was different. I did go into spontaneous labor, but about, I think I was 36 weeks, and Brielle was still, she was, what's that, Edward? - Transfer. - So she was still sideways. So she hadn't turned her head down, and they told me it was likely that I would have to have a C-section, and I bald, like when I left the doctor's appointment, because I was so set that I wasn't gonna have to do that. And so I do think while I was really sad, and I had to go through the emotions of like, okay, that's probably, it was coming from pride of like I want to be able to do what my body was surely designed to do, and not have to have a C-section. But then I was able to process all those emotions beforehand, rather than it being an emergency at the end, and having to process it during the moment. And so I was very thankful that I was able to, I was able to talk to both of you about that too, and be, say how I was nervous and scared, and going through those emotions of like, my body was supposed to do this, why is she not turning, and doing that, and then coming to peace with it, and then coming into another appointment, then telling me she was head down, and I was like, I was grateful that I was gonna be able to try to do it spontaneously that way, but I went through that same experience when they were not the same, completely different, - 'Cause I was. was an emergent situation, but having to process those emotions beforehand, I was very grateful before even though I was pretty upset about it, we had a pretty good range here, I think, like obviously the labor part, like the delivery part is probably easier because you're just lying there, but the recovery is so different. Oh yeah. Yeah, I think that's where you're just picking where your pain is. Well I'm just saying you don't, this is a fact, you don't labor, so it's like that your labor experience is easier. Yeah. Fact is sure. I mean, I guess I technically was in like having to try, like a month ago, he never moved down. He was never planning on coming out of my bed, and they're like, "Please, my daddy." I had Sony stress test because I was like, "Do you not feel as I'm like, 'No, I'd actually do.' I've been in pain for six weeks." They didn't hurt. None of them hurt. I was just like pressure, you know. And I was like, I think it's because he was not planning. That man was never planning on coming from my first kid, he's like, "Cut me out of the house." He was going crazy. He might not cry. The minute, you know, she's actually maybe so cry. Oh, he can still scream. Check out. No, they were literally like, "Oh, my goodness." He's got lungs. That's the thing you say. That's like your nice way. You actually did you know an elementary, I was an elementary education major. And I remember one day I show up to class and they're like, "Okay, so this is a misbehavior or like a characteristic of like a disobedient student." And this is how you present it to the parents. And like one of them was like, you know, he won't sit in his seat, it's like he's very active learner. Like, or it's like he won't shut up in class. They have a lot to share. Like, they're just, you have like a nice way of saying that. And I feel like that was like the nurse's nice way of saying like this dude might be calling him. But they're like, "Yeah, awesome, awesome lungs." And this is about Vivian too when she came out and I was like, "Oh, the lungs." She lost her voice at first. The first two days. But I'll tie it to you actually. Did you guys, they all cry right away? No. You guys? Who else did they have? She was over. Over a minute. I would listen back and forth. It was like 45 seconds. I didn't even know. Yeah. CJ's was long. Like my video of birth of his delivery was long and he didn't cry the whole video. I remember Caleb and I had a moment where we were like, we were just kind of looking at each other. And then when he started crying, we were crying. It was a long. It was a long time. I do think C-section babies take a little. They did say that. They did say that. And he was under distress. Just like all good. But yeah, but he didn't mean anything. It's like the quarter's after on her neck. So it was a really fast delivery. Delivery. Yeah. Delivery. Yeah, not labor. The labor was pretty quick too. But yeah, the delivery was really fast because of that. And then I think that's probably why she wasn't crying. Yeah. That's all for really soon. Oh. It's a great conversation. Oh, the book club. Ladies, I finished the book. In one day, I read 300 pages. I actually read it all in one day too. Yeah. It was actually read fast. Read fast. I did skip a lot. Okay. Disregard Abigail's review of this book. No, no, no, no. I skipped one section. No, I can speed read. You, you read. Like, you pick out a couple sentences on the page and then you kind of see, like, oh, these are the important sections to read. I skipped all of the, like, thought commentary. I didn't care about. What? Your review does not count. No, I did it. I did my homework. You can't pick out what you want to read. Yes, I can. I loved the section. Obviously, the in the moment on the space shuttle. I read every word of those. I read all those words. I loved the storyline with the sister and her niece. I read all that. Everything else I kind of skimmed. Oh, my gosh. Okay. I couldn't really care about the other astronauts. I really like this author. I think that she does a good mix between telling a story and then also it's still like, it's not necessarily a deep read. I would say it's like a lighter story. This book might be my least favorite of the ones I've read of hers. Really? I really wanted more of the spaceship. It makes me curious. I feel like it was actually like 5% of the book. I really wanted more spaceship experience. I loved the woman power. I loved women in space. Being the first woman from NASA. I loved that aspect of it. I loved a slight historical element to it. I like the space talk, guys. Ever since I read Project Hell Mary, I feel like I'm kind of an external space. I was like, oh, I know about this stuff. I like the space element. I thought it was cool. I just wanted more about the mission. I really did. I was a little confused on what the explosion was. Oh, you're right. What's the door? Yeah. She just said an explosion happened. It was just shrapnel. Yeah, so it was from the. They left the door open. So dude, did a comet hit them? Did a star hit them? No, so they were something on the satellite. Whatever it was, and then it messed up. Something malfunctioned, but you're right. I was a little confused about that. I feel like that is something astronauts would have to fill in for me. Yes. I wish we got more of her mission of. Yeah, that's true. But it's only about the mission that. Victoria? No, and the other one. When she threw up the whole time on the. Yeah, that's true. We got none of that. We got a little bit. I would have liked more there. I really liked the dynamic between her and Lydia, and all the girls on Lydia. I think they all played a different role within the women empowerment and being a NASA. Oh yeah, they hated her. Yeah, because she tried to be one of the guys. Yes. And then what's the main character's name? I was just asking. Why can't I remember her name? Joan. Joan was like, why are you trying to be one of them? There was a line there that kind of stuck with me. She's like, we don't need to be. Oh, she said, men are hard and brittle, but I find that being soft and flexible actually gives you more. Yes. Strength. Or what was it? Or you're more resilient or whatever she said. And I was like, that's just so true. Yes. More long-lasting. What was the word that she used? Pull up the quote. Oh, here we go. Because the world had decided that to be soft was to be weak, even though in Joan's experience, being soft and flexible was always more durable than being hard and brittle. Durable. That's so true. Yeah, I thought that was a really good quote. And I just. I liked their discussion there of like, we don't have to try to fit in and be one of the guys. Like, we have our own strengths as women and like, two things. You know, it's like they can do their thing and we can do our thing and like, they compliment each other really well. I don't know. I just really appreciate that. I think Woody's character was really important too because I feel like a lot of women when, like, end up getting really competitive. It's easy to get really competitive with each other when it's like, oh, we actually are in the same. We should be headed together towards the same goal. Totally. But, like, I liked. I feel like. Lydia did have a really good character arc at the end where she was like. Yeah. She was doing what she thought she had to do to make achievements as a woman. Yeah. And, like, they were doing the same. Yeah. I actually genuinely really liked and cared about all the characters of this book, which I think is actually a good. The reason why I rate books highly is I was like, if I'm invested in the characters, then I'm just overall gonna like the book more. Yeah. What was the name that way? The name. Oh, you didn't follow it? You didn't do that way? I wasn't really invested in the characters. Really? I liked the way that they spoke. I thought the character development for all of them was really good. I didn't really have that style of writing. I like a little more young girl. To what? Young girl. Young girl. Just, like, a little more cheesy and, like, it just felt a little more grown up to me. I feel like it did err on the side of literary fiction, more on the side of romance. Yeah. And so, which I liked those types of books, but I gave it four stars. I emotionally gave it five stars because I was like, at the ending, I was just so invested in what was gonna happen. But then, after I was thinking about it more, I was like, it really was a four star because I don't know that I would necessarily, excitedly recommend it to people. But I would, I'm like, I enjoyed it. The experience of reading it. But I did lower our last book of book to it too. The more I thought about it and dissected it, I was like, that book was actually loony too. Was it a two-and-a-five? Yeah. When we were in Rhode Island, we were, she was still, we were still dissecting it out. I remember dissecting it. I was like, it's actually a two. To the point where I need to actually make sure other people don't read it. I remember, I have my mom read it. She didn't like it. She didn't. I didn't tell her about it. She told, she's like, I'm reading your book. I'm like, I'm so bad. I think she said it was dumb. I think it was dumb. That was the point of it, though. You know, she's a, you know, people really like her. But I just think I might be done with that book. But I really do like Taylor Jenkins read this book. I feel like I wouldn't excitedly recommend it. But I was very like, it was a good read. I felt, I felt like I will remember this book. Yeah. I remember the, the journey the woman took. What? I had two quotes that stuck out to me when I was reading it that I noted. This one was, this is Joan speaking. She said, I always had the top grading class. And I would come home and brag about how I helped this boy who sat next to me that was struggling with time's tables. Or I helped the girl with a spelling. Then one day, this boy joins our class and he's really good at math. Not as good as me, but almost. And he asked me for help. And I told him I'd think about it. But I didn't want to. Bobby Simpson. I was so scared that he'd take my top score for me. I told my mom that I wasn't going to help him. And my mom said that if I was going to be proud of myself for being generous, then I had to do it even when it may. I might lose something. And she said, you have to have something on the line for it to be called a character. And I was like, that was good. That was good. Really a good point to still help. Like if someone's going to beat you or be better than you at something. but you can still help them. It's not bad to help someone up even if they're on your same level. Like if there's something you can help with them with. >> Yeah, I like that though. You have to be something on the line for it to be characters. There has to be a potential loss to yourself. Otherwise, it's just like you feel like you're adding another badge. >> Totally. >> That was good. I remember that too when she started saying that. >> Then one other one that I was just like, I liked the way she worded it was. And this is why, small as they were, Joan's choices had added up to something magnificent. In the changing of seasons in the past four years, Joan had found it all. I just thought that was cool talking about how the changing of the seasons in a year, like so much happens in a year. And if you just think you went through all four seasons, and something different happened to you now, the person you are this year, I don't know. I just thought about it that way. >> It is sweet. Yeah, I like those quotes. I think those are really good. As an author, I feel like all of her books kind of feel this way, where they're emotional. And I like books that are emotional. I think they just help me remember them more. And then also, there's some meat to the story. And I think that a lot of it, the times it comes from the context in the time in history, or the specific setting is very memorable for me. Because I think because I do read a decent amount of books, some of them are like, that was just forgettable. And so I like that this one was like, it impacted me. >> Yeah, actually to your point, I didn't know I'm thinking about what that quote you just said. >> That's a disrepair what you just said. >> No, yeah. >> When going back to that. You do see her change a lot. Like, her character changes and develops a ton. Like, everything about her. But towards the end where she becomes a mom, you know, it's like, and her goal, like her career's goals changed. Like, everything changes. And so, that is interesting. Not hearing that quote. I'm like, wow, it just did run true of how much she did change. >> Making me think to how all of the chapters are all of them. But they're all marked by seasons. It's just all of this year or spring of this year. Do you think back to the book being marked by that? >> I did think it was really sweet. Her loving, her niece so much. >> My God, she's like, I was thinking about it. I'm like, Braille's niece. Braille's aunts love her so much too. >> That's everything to happen because I'm a great mom. >> But, yeah. >> My God, I wasn't even Beatrice. >> Yeah. >> It was the mom. >> That reading about her mom, I was like, what an easy, not an easy. But I'm like, we kind of like, I met people like that. You know what I mean? That just like make everything about themselves. And like cannot see outside of their own point of view. And then seeing that as like a mother to a child relationship was really like so crazy. And I think she did a really good job of developing that storyline. Even just like seeing how her sister Joan made excuses for her sister. And it's like always wanted to see the best in her sister. But then her sister just like continuously never showed any redeeming quality. And then it got so point where it's like, my gosh, I don't know, that was just really hard to see that. And I was very invested in that storyline of the book. >> I wasn't messing with that storyline actually. >> Yeah, yeah, she did a good job writing that. I think it helped, it was like, I don't know, as a reader. I was like, wow, that's just how she made it very clear. I don't know, it was just good. >> You kind of saw it slowly with her, like in development. >> I think it's like you're kind of slightly in Joan's head, like how you're perceiving these things where I was like, okay, like she wasn't planning on having a baby then. Like these things are happening to her. And then it gets to a point where you re-light, that's why I think it was so artful the way that she did it. When you reach the same realization that Joan does as Joan realizes it, where you're like, I cannot, you cannot excuse this away anymore. Like she's a selfish person. And so yeah, I think it was really well done, honestly. And I think that I would read more by this author. >> Yeah. >> I want to finish day two, Joan's in the sixth. >> You need every day if you Joan's in the sixth. >> I'm like a third of the way through it. I don't know why I can't get into it. >> You can't get into it. >> I'm just not into it. >> What are you reading this book? >> I read it a four. >> Okay. >> I read it a four. >> I read it a two. >> A two. >> That's so crazy. >> I was not picking it up. And that's kind of how I, I gauge, like am I picking it up or am I scrolling? And I was scrolling. >> Maybe I'll give it a three, because I really didn't read it everything. >> That's psycho. >> Yeah, you can't give it a four. >> But I can't read this one, because I didn't really, I mean, I read it, but I didn't read it. >> Hey, you seem to retain some things. >> I retained a lot. >> I've told you, I was invested in what I was invested in. >> Yeah, I read it, I read it. >> I read it, and to me, I skimmed it, and I felt like I got the whole book. >> Okay. >> You know what I mean? And I think that is, like, she was a great writer, because I feel like, you know, I still got it. >> Next month's book club, are you ready to move on to that one? >> Yeah, I'm really excited about this one. I have had this book pre-ordered since maybe a year. I don't know, whenever it was available, but Haley Pham is another creator. She released her first book ever called Just Friends. >> So cool. >> I've heard a lot about it just from, I partake in book talk on YouTube, because I don't have to take talk. I watch full length videos of people reading books. >> Do they just read them out loud? >> No, no, no, they're just saying they're reading them, and they're like, talk about it. And then they like, there's a lot of categories of, but it's a whole niche. >> No, that's not that crazy, because I feel like guys do that with watching big people play video games and talk about it. It's just like the girl version of that. >> They literally watch streams of other people. >> Yeah, so I don't think it's weird. >> Okay, it's niche for sure. >> It's niche, but I find myself, I'm like, there's, I'm a small audience. >> Yeah, I'm a part of the small audience, I'm a part of a dedicated community. But no, more than that, I shouldn't say that. A lot of people are talking about her book, and I'm really excited to support another creator. And also just like, I'm excited about this book. I've been invested in her whole process of writing it, just documenting a lot of it on YouTube. So, just friends, my Haley family will be our April, April, April book pick. I'm like, what's the month? So, this should be a great, I think it's like takes place in like a sunny seaside, fun. Like, it's a very setting heavy book, which I might, that feels fun for April. >> It does. >> And very appropriate for spring. >> Yes, yes, I can't wait. >> Cute. >> Okay, so read that one if you want to join in for next month's book talk episode. We're calling this, just book club. >> Always reading. >> All right, I don't know what you got, everything needs to be always, like. >> Always hungry. >> And it has to fit the theme out. >> Okay, what's your recipe for this week? >> Okay, for always hungry. >> Always hungry. >> My recipe is beef and broccoli. This is a real, you don't like that? >> Not the best. >> Okay, this is good. >> I like it when you make it. >> I made it for you before you. >> You have. >> It's okay if you didn't like it. >> No, I did, you did. >> Well, it's really easy, and that's what I like, it just says like a week now. >> I don't know why I just started thinking of Chinese food. I actually don't know hate to the fellow Chinese listeners, love Chinese people. I don't love Chinese food. >> That's what I was saying. I don't like the take out beef and broccoli. >> Yeah, I don't either. This doesn't taste like take out beef, right? >> It doesn't taste like, yeah, I agree. And it's so simple, it's three, I mean, it's three main ingredients, beef, broccoli, and rice, and then you have your sauces that you mix up, which is mostly just soy sauce, sesame oil. It's so easy. >> It's ground beef, huh? >> Uh-huh. >> That's why I like it. >> Yeah, it's just so easy and fast, and it's actually a 30 minute meal. Like some people say that, and it's not, this is actually a 30 minute meal. So I'll link it. I make it a month a week, at least in our house, at most, not in the kitchen. >> Why do you, what carb do you have with it? Are you? >> I just do rice. >> Oh, yeah. >> Perfect. Mine is not a dinner option. I'm actually just been really craving this. Strawberry shortcake, I make this like always like in June, for the past few years, with those homemade biscuits. >> Oh, can you please make that again? >> Do you remember it now? >> Yeah, I forget. >> I would say that isn't necessarily like a beginner recipe, but it's, you'd be surprised. It's not too hard. You make, I would say this is like the southern style. >> It's so good, but you made that. >> It's so good. >> It's so good. >> I would say it's like the southern style of strawberry shortcake, where you make actual like homemade biscuits, and then bake them in a buttered cast iron, and then you make the strawberry filling with real strawberries, and then make the whipped cream, and make it like a little stacked layered sandwich. Have I made this for you? >> Yeah. That sounds birthday. >> Okay. I like, feel like this is the greatest way to welcome in spring, summer. It's so delightful, and you will feel like a chef when you do it, because it is a little bit, it's a little extra, but it's actually pretty easy, and the recipe makes it very easy too, and it's so delightful. I need to bake it all. >> I'll make it on Sunday. >> Yes, please, please. >> Or Saturday. >> Or Saturday. >> Let's do it. >> What's Saturday? >> Arxan and family is in town. >> Let's do it for Saturday. >> Yeah, that would be fun. >> You can save some for me. >> And save some for Adi. I don't know Adi. Sorry, it's New Dealist. >> It really doesn't say, well, actually. >> Make more for-- >> So sorry. >> I'll make more on Sunday. >> Double it up. So, yeah, I really love that recipe, and yeah, I feel like, wow, that was a lot for one episode. >> Really? That's so funny. There was barely so much. And now it's at the end. And we're like, wow, we filled it up. >> We filled it up. >> We filled it up, guys. >> We filled it up. >> In closing. >> In closing. >> Let me open my iPad for our closing. >> We are really grateful to those of you that are members of this community. And we're just excited to continue to grow this and foster community with you guys. And really especially thankful to those of you that leave reviews. >> Yeah. >> You have a special place in our heart. And especially to this member that has numbers only for their user name. So I cannot say it. >> Yeah. >> But they gave us five stars. >> Yeah. >> It says, my weekly girl time. I look forward to this show every week. I listen in with my kids in the backseat. And my two-year-old loves hearing the kids in show for the world. That's crazy segment. That's cute. This show is fun, relatable. And I love the community that's being created with Ask Abbie. Always eating and the book club. >> Oh, sweet. >> We're glad that you guys feel that way. 'Cause we want to, that's the goal. It's fun for us. It's so fun for us. Yeah. And so that's the goal. We're glad you guys are enjoying it. >> So please leave a review. Like, comment, subscribe, share, heart. >> All the things. >> Download. Do all the things. >> Yeah. >> And also, if you would like to comment. Share, heart. >> All the things. Download. Do all the things. in and leave a voicemail. Actually, we are going to do a very heavy voicemail episode. So, lock us in, give us a ton of voicemails. That number is 602-456-9690. And it's also in our Instagram bio too. If you can't find it. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok, subscribe on YouTube so you never have to miss any of the updates. And stay tuned for upcoming live events in the local Phoenix area. Awesome. And remember, we're always here. Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Jelly mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue, just plump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mavily. I'm Shannon Maldonado. I'm working at Artesan and I'm looking forward to seeing you in the future. I'm looking forward to seeing you in the future. [MUSIC]