Power Ranking the Best Week 1 Story Lines, the Michigan Mulligan, and the Listener Take Purge

Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible, all-day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mavilyn. Welcome to the rigour fantasy football show. My name is Danny Heifetz today. I'm joined by Danny Kellen, Craig Horlbeck, and today it is power hour, where everyone's they repower rank something. And this wednesday, we are power ranking, things we're excited for this NFL season because the season is starting, Danny Kelly. We're actually here. It's crazy. I cannot believe we're starting. We have a Wednesday game. Is this the first time ever that we're starting on a Wednesday? I can't remember. No. Is that right? There's been another Wednesday kickoff? Like 13, 14 years ago, the Democratic National Convention was like on a Thursday, so they did it like the 2012 season. Well, Tex always getting in the way. But I'm excited about that. You see, I'm going to kick the Patriots, but we're going to have a preview for you guys of week one. We're also going to be going. We're going to have like a Patriots conversation after that game free this week. We're going to have a nineers Rams conversation after the Australia game. No one knows what it is. Kyle Shanahan doesn't know what time that game is. Nobody knows when nineers Rams will be, but whenever that game happens, we're going to have a reaction to it that'll be up on the feed this week. And then we're in our in season schedule, right, Craig? We got Sunday recaps, Monday waivers, and power hours on Wednesdays. And we're going to have a previews of each week on Friday. So we're here. We're in the in season. Don't touch that dial. Look, look at that dial and leave it alone. We're going to get to listen or purchase. We did the take purchase. We knew this week. It's the most fun we probably do all year. And then all the listeners sent in purchase, including the Discord channel. Join the Discord. If you like Discord, that'll be really popping with the games happening in actual threads. So the we have emails and also take purchase from listeners, fantasy quarters back emails, fantasy court. We're going to settle your disputes because we are actual lawyers. And so it's settled your fantasy court disputes with us emails those. And we'll talk about it. Ring or fantasy football league. We're going to get it all that. But first, we're going to take a quick break. This episode is presented by Verizon. Let me tell you all about Verizon's new simplicity plan. You get one plan, one price, just $30 a line per month, even for a single line. So while everyone is running four trade analyzers before offering a backup tight end, Verizon said one plan, one price. Sometimes the simplest move is the best one, like the simplicity plan. Head to Verizon.com today. For new customers who switch to Verizon, $30 per line includes auto pay and switch discount. Total taxes, fees, and terms apply. All right. It's time for power hour, week one power hour, week zero, never know what to call it. We're going to go with week one. For those who don't know, we power rank every, every Wednesday, we're going to power rank stuff in this week. We're power ranking. Things we're actually excited to see because the seasons here and we talk about all this stuff in circles. And now it's actually just arriving. It's like this thing in theory. And then suddenly it's like no longer on the horizon. You just get out of the car and you're here. So we're going to go through and just things we are earnestly, unironically just happy to see on our televisions this week. Yeah. Excited to see curious about and I will say that power hour is going to sound a little bit different this year because look we're on Netflix now, okay? And Netflix, we can't just play Tom Tom Club on Netflix. We'd have to pay Tom Tom Club a lot of money and we can't do that. So Tom Tom Club, if you want to help us out, hit us up if you're listening. That'd be great. Either Tom's. Either Tom or Tom or if there's somebody in club maybe. Please hit us out, but in its place we're going to be testing out new sound drops today. We have three that we're going to run through. We're going to play them kind of in order back to back over and over by the end. We're going to see if one of them sticks. Maybe we'll hate it and move on to a new one next week. Also at home, if you're listening and you have an idea for what the sound drop should be, that is royalty free, let us know. And we'll consider it. Email us. And again, for those who don't know, we're going to do a power hour style as Craig's alluding to. So we're going to go. We're going to three minutes on the clock because we were two minutes. We were really skimping last year. We're going to do three minutes on the clock. And you know what? Just because we're on Netflix, it's not going to change how we're doing this show. Like we're saying, we're not going to just change because we're on Netflix. So every three minutes, you're getting here this sound. Oh. Okay. That's, that's a little bit of a change. Um, yeah, what's wrong with that? I've never heard that before. That's, that's not, that's not related to anything, right? Do you think anyone has that? No, I think we're good. That's pretty good. Yeah. I think that's fine. Okay. We're going to find, we're going to find what the sound is. But yeah. So every three minutes, we're going to, we're going to do our pilot Tom Tom sounds. We're going to figure out what the new Tom Tom is. But without further ado, we're going to do it. Cam, start the clock. Three minutes on the clock. Danny Kelly. I'm starting with you. Give me the number one thing you're excited to see. Now that the NFL season is actually here. I am earnestly and sincerely very excited to see the chargers and Justin Herbert with Mike McDaniel. Yeah. OC. Maybe the most excited I've been to watch a new, like a new offensive coordinator and his team in a really long time. Yeah. I just, I cannot wait to see what this looks like. Do you remember when I, I think Trevor, I, was it the Trevor Lawrence draft was the first time we had our own feed or maybe that was two years in, but I remember we ended up just not talking about Trevor Lawrence very much because we knew he was going to be the first overall pick in the draft. Yeah. And then like a week before the draft, we're like, why haven't we actually talked about Trevor Lawrence, who's definitely the best quarterback in this class and like, this is so exciting, you know, and how cool is this? The Jags are going to get Trevor Lawrence. I feel the same way about the chargers in McDaniel where I'm like, like a quarter and a half into week one. Herbert might have 200 yards and two touchdowns and everyone's going to be like, holy shit. This is clearly like the biggest leap any team has made this season. Every now and then things live up to the hype. Yeah. And you never get credit. And you know, things don't get credit. Unlike the Odyssey. Right? You know what? Look, I am happy. Or Oppenheimer. It exists. It's cool that it exists. I just, you know, it's. Yeah. But we should do a ranking. We should do. We should do things that lived up to the hype. I actually think number one is LeBron James. Properly rated. Oh, that's good. LeBron's number one. He had the chosen one tattooed on his back when he was like 16 and he's like, he's just the second greatest player ever. It's pretty damn good. Yeah. That's a good one. Second greatest. I mean, worse, but I'm just. Second greatest. The McRuby. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, but I think that Mike McDaniel Chargers is going to be right there. Like, I just, I really think Herbert is underrated in the hall. Oh, he was going to play off game. I just think that's going to kind of quietly go away. All the criticism and everyone's going to, everyone will pretend that they were on Herbert the whole time. And I just think that this could be really cool. I understand we're probably just going to step on a rake and it's like Charlie Brown. We're trying to kick the football again, maybe doing the 20th anniversary of like this is the year for the Chargers. But I actually just kind of think it's going to work and be amazing immediately. Let me throw some numbers at you real quick. Mike McDaniel in Miami in four seasons. They were 12th and points per game in that stretch, 23.3, basically the same, almost exactly the same with the Rams have averaged over the last four years and scoring the Sean McVay Rams. They were 11th and points per driver of that stretch, 8th and success rate, 8th and yards per game, 5th and yards per play, 4th, lowest, 3 and out rate. And the 12th most rush TDs for those of you who are hoping for O'Maria and Hampton to be a thing this year. We did all of that with Tua and Tyler Huntley at quarterback and in like half that time was with kind of new alarm to a totally. And I think we're kind of forgetting a little bit about McDaniel, he got fired or whatever at the sort of a sloppy end to this whole Tua era in the Dalton's history and everything. But man, I just think there is a real chance like after two months or something, we're talking about this team. This is like similar enough, God, I kind of like it. It's also quite long. Wow. Wow. Well, the sound drop itself takes three minutes, so that's its own category. Right off the bat, I'm going to rule that one and know. Oh, really? I like that one. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me do it. I totally agree. I think that's among the top three things I'm most excited for. I would say the thing I'm most excited for is are the Bears and Caleb Williams actually going to be the franchise of Destiny or was last year a one off run where this team got really lucky. He hit a couple of Hail Mary's won every single score game they were in and they're going to go back to being basically a team of regression. And to me, it's basically high if it's, are you thinking with your brain or are you thinking with your dick for the Bears? In the words of Robin Williams, men have enough blood to, you know, fuck, men have two heads but not enough blood to run both at the same time they screwed it up. No, but I you're paraphrasing him. Yes. I think they quote. I don't remember. I think this is a great one. I mean, I have said this a lot. I just think Caleb Williams is Aaron Rogers all over again. I can't speak highly enough about him. I think he's already going to be the best quarterback in Bears history basically. I think the defense is going to suck but that might actually make it more fun. Yeah, there's a few things that interest me about the Bears this year. One, I think all of the emphasis people are putting on, what were they? Seven and two in one score games last year and the Hail Marys and all that stuff is going to request back to me. I would like to counter that with like year two in Ben Johnson's system. And Caleb Williams, actually not even being that great for a little bit of last year because they were just figuring stuff out. And then actually kind of hitting their stretch, I would also argue that close games build momentum. But often it's in high pressure situations. And so sure, maybe it'll even add a little bit, but I feel like the floors is going to be way higher with the Bears this year. Yeah, I think it is one of those things where it's so fascinating because we're pairing up Caleb Williams, who was one of the highest, the most hyped quarterbacks in our lifetime, right? Like he's up there with all of them. He's up there with Payton. He's up there with Andrew Luck in terms of just hyped quarterbacks. And first year was a disaster, second year there was a ton of improvement. And he was paired up with, I would say one of the most hyped offensive play callers in Ben Johnson, what he did with the Lions. I think everybody wanted, like you know what I mean, everybody wanted Ben Johnson. He waited a year. He decided to go back to the Lions to wait for the right opportunity. And then it is just this story, we're a potential pairing between the great play collar and the great quarterback prospect and can they mesh together and create like the most magical offense? Maybe. I'm still kind of a little bit skeptical, I think, in the back of my mind, just a little fear that Caleb is a little too messy and too reliant on out of structure play. I think a lot of people feel that way. I mean, the Bears are 16th and Super Ballads. 16th, they almost made the final four last year. They have the third best odds in their own division. The Lions and Packers have better odds. Oh, I kind of like this one. Oh, once again, too long, but fun. Maybe we can cut that one, put that one by 70% and it'll work. Speed it up. One final thing on the Bears, they have the best rest edge in league this year, Warren Sharp does like rest edge. They have number one 15 extra days of rest than their opponents. Nice, all their bad starters and defense will be very well rested each week, but the thing I'm most excited to see actually just begin this season and just tired of talking about and want to see it. I want to see the Jalen Hertz, AJ Brown revenge tour. Ooh. I want to see it start. Who's more interested in revenge? Do you think it's quietly Jalen Hertz? Because the obvious answer would be AJ Brown, or do you think it's secretly Jalen Hertz? I was shocked Jalen Hertz did that interview last week, that like big interview with, was it with GQ, where he sat down and he sat down for a look a long time and that thing went viral. He was like, oh, he has the interview to stay because he wanted more time, but I was shocked to even address it right before the season. I think that alone meant to me it was bothering him. I want to see Jalen Hertz actually do this offense, everyone can't say he can do. And I want to see AJ Brown have like 1800 receiving yards and be really angry. I want to see these things play out. Well, because I would say it's very obvious to me that Jalen Hertz is way more to prove than AJ Brown. I mean, people might think AJ Brown is like over the hill physically, but I don't think anyone is questioning whether or not AJ Brown is a good player. I think there's legitimate questions. If Jalen Hertz is not good in week one, the narrative will continue to grow that Jalen Hertz was perhaps like a two year flash in the pan. I think they also propped up propelled forward by teammates, maybe just shoved into success. No, I actually think Jalen Hertz has a chance to be really good in this Eagles offense. I just, whatever happens, it's going to be like really messy and honestly, it's going to be really interesting. If Jalen Hertz is fantastic in the Sean Manion offense, where they're going to do more, all these things that allegedly he can't do throwing over the middle, which he has not done as well, no matter what happens, it's going to be really interesting. Because if he's terrible, then the Eagles fans are going to want to replace Jalen Hertz this season. And he's going to get Carson Wentz. But the flip side, if he's great, we're going to be like, wait a second, like the whole Jalen Hertz was a James Bradbury flag away from having the same amount of Super Bowl Suspetic Marhoms, like the Delta on the public perception of Jalen Hertz this season is as dramatic as it could be. For people that didn't see the interview, what did he say about AJ Brown, because I didn't actually see that. He just was really, he basically was asked, like, did you guys grow apart? And he was like, obviously, yeah, but it just didn't even acknowledge it. He's such a quiet, stoic person that even sitting down for such a long interview, I thought it was actually kind of notable. You know when couples are better, like, divorced than they are together? Like, I feel like that's Hertz and Brown. I saw them chatting, like, at the joint practice between England and Philly, and they were like, it seemed like they were getting along. I'm like, you know what? Sometimes, sometimes you need to move out. Like, uh, Affleck and his, his, uh, Jennifer Gardner, co-parenting with Jennifer Gardner. It's sure. They're great co-parents. Every other year, the Jalen Hertz's Affleck, I just 2021, it was a horrific, equals loss in the wildcard round, and Hertz was on play, it was horrific. And then the next year they made the Super Bowl. And then the next year was a disgusting, equals loss in the wildcard round where Jalen Hertz looked unplayable. And then the next year they won the Super Bowl. And then last year was a disgusting wildcard loss in the playoffs, which Jalen Hertz looked terrible. And I'm, I just, the eagles have been way too high on their own supply when they had a good year. And then they just get all over the place. And what is this song? This is. Wow. This is what I kind of like. What? What do you mean it's a song you kind of like? That's not going to be in power hour. I think I, I think I ironically like it. I would like to vote that that one is immediately removed. Come on. You don't like to drop? I look, there was a time and a place for dubstep and when I was 18, I love Scrillex. Who did? There was a time and a place for dubstep. There was. Maybe that time is back, but I don't think so. Number four. Okay. Give us, give us another. Yeah. I just, the eagles, they're in every other year team. They are. Yeah. I agree with you. I'm very excited to see the eagles offense. I can't wait to. They're going to have seven points in the third quarter. And I'm going to be pissed. All right. The next one that I'm very excited about is the answer to the question of whether Lamar Jackson and Jane Daniels can bounce back after collectively playing horribly last year, especially in fantasy. I think this is a fantasy specific thing for me because there's a world in which Lamar and Jaden are just one, two in fantasy, right? Like we've seen Lamar's history, what he's done. And then Jaden as a rookie was incredible. But I just want to see if they can bounce back because basically it's going to be so fun to see this in week one. These are probably the two biggest risky quarterbacks that you're going to have to spend a lot of money on in drafts this year, I would say. Lamar, I'm much more confident that he just had a hamstring injury. I think like the surrounding situation of Jaden Daniels is much more up in the air, like the offensive line. You have McLaren and you have Diggs, the running game. Even the system with David Blow, I heard some guy in the take purge yelling about young offensive coordinators and how that bubble's going to pop. Thought that was a decent take. But I feel much more confident that even though I guess Lamar Jackson's OC is also 30 years old. But they also have a new center who I've never heard of. A seventh rounder playing center for them. What could go wrong after Linderbombs gone. But I feel much more confident. We've seen it more with Lamar. I feel more confident that Lamar is going to bounce right back and Derek Henry and the offensive will be fine. I am torrent because for the same reason, yeah, what's his name? Javon Gwynn. That makes you sad at center. But over, I really would love nothing more than it's just a giant Lamar Jackson bounce back season. It's incredible. Let me help people act like the 44 touchdown for the reception season like didn't happen two years ago. Two minutes ago, we averaged 25 points a game. Yeah. I just think Lamar fuck you season would be phenomenal. I absolutely love to see that. I feel like people forget Jaden Daniels rookie season more than they forget Lamar's 2024. Jaden, the fluke, the fear is that Jaden Daniels like is a twig who's not necessarily going to be able to stay healthy for like an entire season, has a bad offensive line. Had Kingsbury. It's like, I just think people are dubious that he can even stay healthy. Honestly, that he's already four. That is the, that is the fear that Washington Fitz have of Jaden Daniels Lamar. I mean, he was incredible for six years. I want to see him run again. I think we all want to see Lamar go fast again. He's like Ricky Bobby, like, just, just, just go fast. You sure it's not RG five legal. Oh, fuck, that's really oh my god, Jaden Daniels is RG five, no, we can't say that because it's retired. Well, we can't. Oh, yeah. Right. RG four out of respect for RG three and Jaden Daniels. That's Jaden. That's good. I just have to like, remind myself of how good Jaden was like, I have to go back and almost watch highlights from his rookie season to remember that there was a time in which I thought this guy was like a top three top four quarterback guaranteed over the next five years. And then he was literally unstoppable. If it was like third and three, his, at the end of his rookie season, I was like, Josh Allen, the Holmes and like, maybe Jaden Daniels number three in terms of getting a third and third. Washington made the end of the championship game. Yeah. The end of the championship game. What if, what if we, oh, cam cut that short, oh, he's been in the lab. Holy shit. Someone cooked here. That? How do we feel about that? That's not I like them like, I still don't like it. It sounds like like soft core porn craze, get the fuck out of here, man. Come on. It's good. Tom Tom. He kind of did too. Did you make that song? DK, why are you offended? I don't know. Did you quietly make it like soft core porn? I can't tell you. I even know the definition of soft core porn. I don't know. I believe it's, I believe it's no penetration. No full penetration. Yeah. I think fake penetration. I believe nudity is. - He is okay, but there's no penetration. - Right. think there's even dick like you can't like it's just it might be it might be top-up nudity I don't know but I believe no yeah it's like all the stuff that used to play on like HBO late at night right like like like skin amax is that all the stuff that we were watching scrambled was that what it was called I don't know anyway the thing I'm most excited to see yeah what's your soft core point you're most excited to see well yeah I won't get into what I'm really most excited to see for the purposes of the show no one thing I'm very excited to see very curious to see is like what CJ Stroud looks like for the Texans because I do think if he comes out the gate they play the bills week one if he comes out the gate looking solid I think the Texans will immediately be viewed as the Super Bowl favorite in the AFC and yeah I just I can't tell if the hate has gone too far with Stroud I think it might have I thought it was very interesting Jeremy Fowler reported that he turned down a that Stroud declined to $50 million your contract with the Texans like neither confirmed nor denied that but it sounds like Stroud is gonna play out this season and try to get an even bigger deal he's like everything suggests that Stroud has really like focused up this year double down he came dressed to camp like a middle schooler which I thought was kind of good and look we I say this all the time complimentary yes complimentary he's focused on the game I say this all the time but like you're two in the system we're talking about Caleb with Ben Johnson Trevor Lawrence William Cohen quietly this is year two for Stroud and Nick Kayley so yeah I I'm interested to see if Stroud can get back to him much like Jayden Daniels like the guy we knew two years ago who I thought was going to be one of the best five quarterbacks in the league yeah I like this one a lot I think especially just when you consider you know the Texans have one of the best defenses in the NFL if he even just plays average if you if you if he just isn't a disaster they're going to be you know one of the best teams in the NFL it doesn't help that you know Jayden Higgins got hurt I think that kind of potentially hurts them but they do have a pretty deep receiver core Nico Collins I like Jail and Noel you coming into year two there's some guys in that offense that I think it would kind of like help pick up some of the slack and then obviously David Montgomery the run game if the run game can get going even a little bit just a huge just a little bit I mean that since Stroud was drafted the Texans are 31st in rushing success rate and they've probably had a bottom five line the entire time so I will say the the line in the rushing game has not helped Stroud perhaps more than any quarterback in the league I think David Montgomery's just rock solid it's also really get a pass protection and Woody marks was not the rookie last year I think that's gonna help a lot I think the offense got to be a little more creative I feel like there was I the Kayley offense there's there's a lot of stats about how how under how underrated Stroud was when they used to like play action or motion last year and when they were just kind of static Stroud struggled a little bit more so I don't know I I do think that he's gonna a little bit too far with Stroud we have the bad taste in our mouth from those two playoff games I mean four picks against the Pats he was terrible against the Steelers which is your favorite which of the five fumbles Stroud had in a playoff game with your favorite whichever one made me think shit I just do doesn't win this game is that the best Texans defense stat that there is is that Stroud fumbled five times in the D and they won a game it was that was like a one-point game going was it seven to six going into the quarter close yeah I strut again it's darn old can win a Super Bowl then Stroud can too but also I don't think there's anybody in the league that is more pressure on them this season than CJ Stroud and the Texans online and this soft jazz wow oh oh that had a nice little wrap up crispier yeah Stroud anyway I just I want to get back to that I wanted to be Stroud complimentary not Stroud drug I think I think I might is it illegal for me to like pause mid power hour into a take-perch because it actually involves two players that just came up or is that insane is this a listener take-perch or your purse the listener take-perch sure let's we'll pause power hour I'll throw one out there okay because this is it's it's on topic and I just I just think it has to be done okay or do you have to go search and find the email I got it we just explain what if some people did a list of the take-perch can you explain what we're doing here yeah once a year we step inside the take-perch for 60 minutes to give to give our hot takes that have been lingering inside us but without any professional credibility we we're not held responsible for the any takes that have been festering that we give out during the take-perch every year and we did it on labor day this year so this this is a listener purge from nerd works nerd works and bone and I'm a little obsessed with it it's that swapping CJ Stroud to the Eagles and Jalen hurts to the Texans would be better for both teams oh interesting hurts on the Texans who never Jalen hurts never turns the ball over in Houston and then CJ Stroud plays for the Eagles and both teams would be better off I want to see it who says no who says no it's a fun take but here's my only pushback wouldn't wouldn't we argue that hurts hurts has been but like you could argue that one of the reasons why hurts has been such success was because of the dominance of the offensive line and the push push and like all of that stuff would cannot happen in Houston it would be disastrous just had a throw it out good take I do like then just switch these players who says no discussions Eagles fans are like we would never I think he feels would say no but it's not hard to imagine a year from now maybe maybe it dovetails I have a question that I that I I really don't mean to be sycophantic to our boss but did Bill Simmons invent who says no I he made that pop phrase popular he did right for trades yeah I think he did that is yes that's because I'm kind of a part of the Lexicon in my like I say who says no all the time that's that no that that one bill gets credit for I'm like I'm like pizza the salad who says no like I'm doing that constantly who says and everybody loves it soft core porn music for power hour who says no who says no I feel like you guys are kind of messing up the who says no format though yeah two different things it's true no I know but I just kind of throw it out there it's like a why not you know speaking of messing up formats we're messing up power hour it's my fault I messed up power hour we all said yes to that but anyway back to power three minutes on the clock Kim I want to throw one out things were actually said it for this is kind of lame but we haven't talked about this person at all this is like maybe the last ride with the chiefs as we know them I know there was news there was news today that my homes is playing in week one I was like oh right I guess that was kind of a question like Patrick my homes just coming back off in ACL I wear this weird gap here we're the first half of Patrick my homes is crew is over and the second one hasn't quite started yet we still have all the old characters transitioning us to the sequel to Travis Kelsey's the leader but they set themselves up to move on from Chris Jones after this year on this Chris Jones plays great I think they're gonna cut Chris Jones Kelsey might retire and any really 68 years old and this is probably the last year we have all four of those people and it's also some homes coming off in ACL like I kind of want to see Patrick my homes have this fuck you season like it's probably very weird for Patrick homes to look and just not be a part of NFL discourse whatsoever entering the year at least the least he's been since he started being a starter and I would love to have my homes come out and just like go guns blazing from the jump I don't know if it's gonna happen but I don't know it's funny that he's just not a main character entering this year at least the least he's been so far it is funny that throughout the offseason across most of the NFL media coverage of this upcoming season there has not been a lot of like takes about the chiefs I I'm picking the chiefs this year to win the division I think the chiefs are gonna be sneaky good like the chiefs have really just gone undiscussed pretty much for the entire summer which I don't know if that's a good time for Patrick falls in the future of that time being in jail and rehabbing his knee other than that Kelsey getting married I think was more than the chiefs it's all off field stuff yes I don't know if that's a good sign like everyone's sleeping this is a nobody believes in us team or if it's a bad sign that that everybody who analyzes football doesn't believe in that well he's rushing back from the ACL it's weird I kind of think if the chiefs missed the playoffs again I think people are gonna have whispers about Andy Reed should be out as the coach I think you can miss the playoffs with my homes once wouldn't you do it twice people are not okay I don't think the firem after this season but if they missed the playoffs again they're gonna go in the next year and they're gonna be like okay well you can't miss the playoffs with my homes three times like that's just I have it's weren't you sitting on a take we were talking about this when you guys were in LA last week we were all kind of like circling a take purge about Kyle Shanahan's gonna be the coach of the cheese in 27 it's the perfect outcome so if the chiefs missed the playoffs this year the coach of the chiefs in like 2029 should just be Kyle Shanahan because Andy Reed's gonna be 70 and honestly the game is moving there's nothing wrong with it like you're 70 years old he's no longer the best coach in the NFL and Kyle Shanahan's kind of the perfect person the Niners thing seems exhausting and like it's Kyle Shanahan kind of is Andy Reed honestly like if you look at Andy Reed's tenure with the Eagles and just making it if the championship games not getting over the hump offensive genius with game management things runs an incredible old-school program Kyle Shanahan like I see that Andy Reed beating Kyle Shanahan Super Bowl is like atlas giving the way to the world on a Kyle Shanahan soap shoulders god damn it is this with the substation sounds like that's what the inside of your home sounds like it sounds like inside George George Kiddles Achilles yeah I do think I think there's there's something there Niners under perform chiefs under perform again they get rid of Reed Shanahan wants a new new hired he's like I'll take Patrick my home that sounds great I do I'm gonna already disrespect this new thing we don't have a name for it but I do want to just thinking that never gets discussed my home's career in Brady is like insanely similar like his 20s are over we're now And he's going to be pre ACLT. and post ACL tear, will be how we discuss Mahomes's career. It's the same time they basically tore their ACL. And Mahomes's 20s made five Super Bowls 13 and then never missed an AFC championship game until he tore his ACL. - Well, pretty good 20s. - There was a 10 year stretch between Patriots winning Super Bowls '04 to 2014. It's like, so there was that dip. And so it's like, it is kind of happening right now with Mahomes. - So I kind of think that there will be a plateau and we don't move on anyway. The other one I want to throw a three minutes on the clock where something we've talked about a ton that I just want to see. Like I'm tired of just like predicting what's gonna happen. I can't wait to just watch it. Is Kyler Murray on the Vikings? This is bizarre to me. It is a huge test for Kevin O'Connell. And it's a huge test for Kyler Murray who enough to steal another Bill Simmons'ism is so overrated now that I think Kyler Murray's underrated. - Well, to use another Bill Simmons'ism, can I see it? Before I hop on board, can I see it? Can I watch it? - What about the Justin Jefferson piece? - Oh, okay. We're just doing an entire episode of Bill Simmons'ism. That'd be actually pretty fun. - Yeah. I do just think this Vikings, Kyler teams the perfect regular season team. We did a whole episode who's gonna be the cults this year. I think it's the Vikings. Like everything about Minnesota, honestly defensively too, Brian Flores, they're really built really well to overwhelm teams with bad quarterbacks. And I think Kyler's a perfect regular season quarterback. I don't want him on my team for $50 million a year as a leader, as a body language guy, even running the structure of the offense. I have questions under center. He's played mostly in shotgun. It's like, he's an aging, smaller athletic guy, which usually ages badly, but holy cow. It's almost under discussion. This is the best contract in the entire NFL. Kyler Murray, if he was a punter, would be not in the top 20 highest paid punters this season. - What do you think is a better deal? Getting Kyler Murray for a million or paying $50 to not have to a? - Well, what's better? It's a toss up. - Who's like getting more out of to a Miami or Atlanta? (laughing) - I don't know. I don't know who has a better deal right now. Atlanta or Miami, who are guarding two of them? - Try them back. Who says no? - I don't know. - If you could have told Miami, you would get the $50 million back, but you have two. - If two is your starter and you're trying to be good for $1 million or you pay him 50 to not be your starter and you're trying to be bad, what's a better situation? It's Miami. - Two is gonna play three quarters. And then the Falcons are gonna be like, damn, we kind of wish Jack Strand could play. - Hi Fitz, I have a bone to pick with this Minnesota take because I don't feel that you fully believe it. Because if you did, you would have been hyping up Vikings players all off season and you didn't. You have not really talked about Jordan Addison, Chauhan Jennings, even Justin Jefferson. I feel like Aaron Jones, Jordan Mason. I feel like you've been Luke Warmer in Minnesota. You have not leaned all the way in and you just hopped in here September 9th and being like-- - How have I been saying Kyler is the guy you were? - Kyler, yes. - I think it's a lot like JD Daniels. - They're this year's Colts, if that's the case, why aren't you drafting every Viking? - I think because if you look at like JD Daniels in Washington two years ago-- - I don't mean to ambush you. - I know, this is fucking fine, fucking ambush me. I'm ready. - I'm ready, accountability, right? - It's Power Hour. This is our closest to first take. Power Hour is a close take. - Two years, we should have a sex segment called ambush. That's actually really funny. Two years ago in Washington, who did you want on that team? You want to JD Daniels? - Terry McClure. - Sure, sure, but where's Justin Jefferson's going? He's going 10th, like there's no value there. He's literally being priced like the fourth receiver. There's no value. - Yeah, I just think if you think they're going to be this year's Colts, does that not imply everybody on the Vikings is a screaming by? - Well, we have been talking about Jordan Mason. It was a really good value running back. I don't like Aaron Jones, because I think Aaron Jones just always gets hurt and has workload management. He talks about Jordan Mason. I think the person who's gonna be good is Kyler Murray, who I said over and over. He ran for 550 yards, two years ago. Kyler Murray is the guy I want fantasy because he's going to be scrambling and the Scrabble Joe's going to happen. And if Jefferson's doubled, sure, he might look to Jordan Madison. He's just going to run. I think Kyler's still way more athletic than people give him credit for. And again, I have done two different drafts this year where he didn't even get drafted sometimes. Like he's falling and falling and falling. And I'm just like he's falling. I've some fall of fifth, 14th round. - Oh gosh, you're fucking satisfied. - Oh yeah, not really, because I feel like I meant, Jordan Mason was my sleeper this year. I feel like you haven't mentioned many receivers. Hawkinson, you had all Kyler argument. And you yelled at me. - It just Kyler. - It was just Kyler. - I always wanted to bring it up Kyler. - I'm just surprised you haven't been mentioning other Vikings, that's all. Hawkinson, you were on like three months ago, you kind of backed off that. - I think the answer is 'cause you want Kyler Murray. It's 'cause Justin Jefferson, I think, is priced. This is Kyler will definitely get in the ball. Jordan Madison, I do like, but I think it's very touched on dependent. I just think the person that's like the screaming value is Kyler. Kyler is the guy. - All right, I'm sorry. - Well, you're not. - I didn't mean to call you out like that. I was more just curious like, oh, why haven't you been more into other Vikings players? - Well, I think the short answer is 'cause I think the value is that he's just scrambling is the value. - Okay. - Great. - All right. - This is like, can I fucking talk now about the next thing? - Well, actually, can we do three minutes? Three minutes, I'm ambushing Craig. - Okay. - No, no, not really. I actually, can I just, while we're doing unironic, - You're gonna talk about DK McCaff and his conspiracy theories for a second there. It's spreading Craig. - What did he say? - Bilateral Achilles tendonitis. - It's like the rot. DK McCaff, I only read a couple headlines. - Maybe I might have actually read it. - I didn't read into it deeply, but it was basically like, yeah I'm a conspiracy, DK McCaff was asked about this when he was doing his press or he says, yeah, I'm a conspiracy theorist. Shout out my quarterback. And then he starts talking about are there, there's a whole nother world, I didn't even fucking heard this conspiracy. There's apparently a whole nother world on Antarctica. - Yeah. - Like I mentioned, I, I, I, I, I need to stop listening. - Yeah. - You could go there if you want. - Aaron Rogers is like a Hollywood guy. - Do you ever think this is maybe a distraction? All this bullshit? I don't know. - James Madd. - I would argue it's team building, but. - Yeah. - They're talking about world views, you know? - Right, Jim. - Deer on research. - If you find them on a team, they're team building. - They're telling ghost stories around the campfire. Big deal. - Sure, sure. - Let 'em have a good time. - Oh, please the fifth. - Settle down. - The Ringer Fantasy football show is brought to you by Fandall, the NFL is back in Fandall's making this. You're most rewarding season ever by kicking off football with a super boost. Patriots, Seahawks, one game, and all you need is one point. Here's how it works. Opt in and use your token on Patriots versus Seahawks with the kickoff super boost. Then once either team puts the first point on the board, you can win up to $25 guaranteed. Well, I'm looking at Seahawks Patriots. It's nice when the first game of the season was also the last game of the last season. I think this game's gonna be even worse. I think the Seahawks are gonna win by even more than they won by the first time in the Super Bowl. So I love every bet involving Seattle. I love all the Seattle overs, the Patriots unders. I like the Seattle spread, the Seattle money line, every quarter, everything. I like the Seattle to win by even more than they did in the Super Bowl. So make your pick and get ready for the season to officially begin because when the Patriots are Seahawks score, so do you. Download the app to get started. 21 plus select states or 18 plus DC or Wyoming. Optin required must wage your indesignated offer market. Max wage your $25 restrictions apply. Seats full terms at sportsbook.fandal.com. Gambling problem, co-1-800 gambler, co-1-888-789-7777, or visit ccpg.org/chat in Connecticut. Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day comfy grip. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mavilyne. Uh, we haven't given Super Bowl picks. Do you guys have Super Bowl picks? Sure. I'll go. I'll go. Fuck it. How about this? The Seahawks. Oh, yeah? Yeah. How about that? Oh, you're following Bill Simmons once again? Come on. Oh, did he pick the Seahawks hell, yeah? Yeah, he did. Seahawks, number one. They just won a Super Bowl. You really think that they're going to go back to back? No, but I'm going to say that idea. What? No. Who, if you had to pick a Super Bowl winner, it's like so ridiculous, we'll wait. The Seahawks are one of the best teams in the NFL. I'm picking the Seahawks. If anyone's wondering why we didn't do it till now, this is why D.K. hates pick the Seahawks. So D.K. just said he hates picking the Super Bowl. The Seahawks are the best team in the NFL, I'm just saying. You just said, I know I don't think they're going to repeat, but if I had to pick a Super Bowl winner, which I think is stupid, I would pick the Seahawks. Yes. That's what I'm saying. That makes literally no sense. That is like a fucking. No, I'm rigged. It's, I think it's silly to say, oh yeah, this is going to win the Super Bowl. When there's like 17 weeks of crazy injuries and weird shit that's going to happen. Like, I don't know who's going to fuck with it. We should pick who we're going to play with the Super Bowl. Do I actually believe in my heart? And see really that any of my picks are going to turn out right now? D.K. D.K. What? If you had to bet a million dollars, who would win the Super Bowl? Who would you pick? The Seahawks. But you would. Yeah. Okay. I just ask you really that. I don't think any of our picks are going to be right, probably. Oh, well, yeah. Okay. Is that because that's what you asked me. Do you really think they're going to win? I'm like, I don't know, maybe. You're like my mom. I think that's the best team in the league. You're like my mom and I ask her a hypothetical. I'm like, would you rather eat gum off the roof of your, the floor of your shoe? or would you rather lick a subway handrail? - What'd you rather? - And she's like, neither. (laughing) I'm like, well, you can't pick neither. She's like, why not? 'Cause you can't, that's not the game. You have to either lick a handrail or eat the gum off the ground. She's like, neither. - What? - I picked the sea ox. - But you just said you don't think they're gonna win. - Look, we're going in circles here. - Exactly. (laughing) - You ask me to pick a winner and I said the sea ox. I'm picking, I'm licking the handrail. - Okay. - All right. - Hi, Vince, who do you think's gonna super? (laughing) - Sea ox, but I don't think they're gonna win. Don't get it. I kind of keep just coming back to Rams Ravens. I know it's really lame to just pick the Rams and super teams probably never work and staff will get hurt. But holy cow, man, the Rams are probably gonna be really good. And yeah, like staff will get hurt, but the Texans defense, anyone gets hurt on that thing. Stingley will Anderson. I'm like, I don't know about them either. I just think the Rams are gonna be really good. And I kinda believe a lot, Jesse Mentor and the Ravens, man, I think it's Mike McDonald took, he needed an extra year to teach the sea ox the defense. But the Ravens, the things Jesse Mentor's gonna try to do, like they've kind of all know that stuff. Like, Kyle Hamilton knows this stuff. I kind of think they'll just be able to adapt these here. And obviously, it depends on Declan Doyle in this random center we don't really know much about, but I kind of think the Ravens are good and Lamar kind of shuts everyone up. - Mm-hmm. - Kyle. - You really think that? - Okay. - No, I don't actually think that. I just say, yes, Steve. I think I love that. - If you got a million dollars, are you making that bet? - You should have said that other take perch predicted the same. - I don't, what is that mocking me? I'm saying if you literally had a million dollars and somebody said you have to pick a team that you think is going to win the Super Bowl, who would you pick? - Okay, okay, I was just trying to light the moment. We don't have to re-litigate it again. - I think it's just like litigated again, it's fun. - This is not the most common question of all football. - It is, it is. I'm just saying, if we started the playoffs, I'm still that super confident who's gonna win the Super Bowl. - My question is not, who do you know will win the Super Bowl? That, of course not. - Okay, well, I think the say actually gonna win. How about that? - Okay. - And they're gonna beat the Texans. I didn't give my opponent. - Great, it's so mad at me. (laughing) - This is great. - I can't believe that you're like put out by being asked, who do you think is gonna win the Super Bowl? - That's not true. - That all. - I'm gonna pick the Buffalo Bills, to win the Super Bowl. - That makes me happy. I think it's the best thing left on the board in like American sports. Now the next one, the title, I think the Bills, would you like to unite the country? - Yeah, I don't know. I just think like the Bills are good every year. Josh Allen has a number one water seeber. I still think he's the best quarterback in the league. And I feel like because he hasn't done it in the last three years, everybody just assumed it can't happen now. But I, I would 100% think the Bills would be my pick. I don't know who I pick in the NFC, it's tricky. Because like, the Rams are sitting there and I'm like, I guess I would say the Rams, but they're just just so top heavy. And if you don't pick the Rams, Seattle repeating. And then you get down to like the Eagles in San Francisco. I don't know. Maybe I'll just pick fucking Chicago. Maybe I'll say Buffalo Chicago in the Super Bowl. - That'd be fun. - I mean, that would be good for content. Bad for defense wins championships. But I just do it. - Well, the Bills will win. - There you go. So that's why. - You know, there's my pick. - What do you think, Ticket? Do you think I actually, where's that? - Look, he kind of did what I did on the whole NFC side. I'll be honest. - I picked the team to win the Super Bowl. - What you did? - You were like, ah, then the NFC, I don't know. I'll say the bears. - This makes me so happy. - You did. - A couple of the things I want to get to, especially when I didn't see them. - No, it's not at all. It's not at all. - It is. - No, it's not. You said it's a stupid question. It shouldn't be asked. - It's not what I said. It's not a stupid question. I said a stupid question as you really think that. I'm like, I don't know. Yeah. - No, I believe you said, being asked, who do I think is going to win the Super Bowl is a ridiculous question. - No, it was your response. When you said, you really think they're going to win. This is my pick. That was what I was reacting to. - No, you said, no. I said, I said, you actually think they're going to repeat. You said, no. (laughing) - Okay. - For residing probabilities is what I meant. Like, who's short? But you think they have the best chance in your months? - Yes. - Okay. - Yeah. - I'm glad we got that. (laughing) - DK always pretends that predictions mean that like if you're wrong, you die, and so he just won't make them. - It's fine. - That's why we invented the take purge. - Yeah. - Right. For complicated questions, like who do you think is going to win the Super Bowl? - That was our first segment of ambush. - What's the game? - I was reacting to your reaction more than the question. - It was like enthusiasm. - I was like, oh, really? You think they're going to repeat? And you're like, well, no. (laughing) - Imagine if DK had to do all the fiddles. And he's like, oh, I got to make a bet for Sioux's Patriots. I mean, who knows, really? - Yeah. I don't actually think this is going to happen. Maybe the Bears? - I don't know. - Shit. - I was 32. - Oh, thank you, man. - Hell, Ricky, I was high when I said that. You could be second, third, fourth. - We should be able to bet. Yeah, DK, who do you think will come in fifth instead of full season? That's what I want to know. Okay. - I do want to get to two other things that I think are really funny. - Okay. - One, I want to give an update on this Australia game, which I. It's just being talked about the proper amount. It is unbelievable. There's an additional game in Australia. I can't get enough of the times on thing. I do think it's funny. David Lombard, who covers the Niners, noted that for all 70 players on the Niners active roster and practice squad participated for the first time all year. Which is just funny, though, as soon as they get away from the station. - One day away from San Francisco. - I said this in the take part, just what I'm saying. - Got away. - Come on. - I want to just play the clip that maybe you've seen it already, but if you haven't, just you get to enjoy this for the first time, just you only get to experience this for the first time once. Can you please play the clip of Kyle Shannon? - This is like watching the movie Tenet. - Yeah, it's really it's Kyle Shannon. Here's Kyle Shannon. Again, in Australia, a week early to prep for the game. He said seven days to prepare for being there. Please play Kyle Shannon, trying to explain to the media what day it is. Yesterday, I don't even get how that's possible. So I feel like I'm in the future. And then also when we play on our Friday, which I think is the Thursday in the US, we're such creatures of habit. So I call it the day Tuesday. No wait, sorry, I call it today Wednesday, which is the first day we put in a game plan. But I think it's Monday. However, it's Sunday and the Friday. So like, I'm gonna mess that up all week if you guys asked me. But today is just our first day of the game plan, which is a Wednesday. We'll put in some on a Thursday. Friday is the final part of the game plan. Saturday we walked in when we play on Sunday, which is a Friday in Australia and a Thursday in the US. So don't ever make me do that again. (audience laughing) - You wanna hear something? My take coming out of that is that Kyle Shannon is fucking back because that was exactly right. - I know, I was gonna say, is it weird that I totally see what he's saying? - He nailed it. The fact that he just rattled that off and contemporaneously was incredibly impressive. His concussion is fixed. - And I'm betting the Niners. - It's fixed. - They fixed it. - You can kneel there. Like, I can't believe he was like, it's technically Friday, but it's really Thursday. So for me, it's Tuesday, even though it's actually really Monday, but in reality, that's actually Sunday. I'm like, you're cooking right now, Kyle. You're right. - This was borderline, the guy who's like new into three. That's my second day. I'm kicking your ass. - Oh my God, he lives four days. Three days every day, four days every day. That's my favorite video of all time. (laughing) - I'm kicking your butt. - Damn, that's day one. Six a.m. to noon, that's day two. (laughing) - No, I actually, now I think the 49ers are gonna win. - I do too. I legitimately feel that way. And I actually am now flipped where I think what the Rams are doing is reckless. - Yes. - I never said. These just smoke at halftime. They'll be fine. - The jet lag is not that big of a deal. - It's fine. (laughing) It is amazing. It just comes back around the fucking life. - No, fuck it is. - The football. The other one we have to talk about is the college football, this Michigan Hail Mary situation, which is a great start, this isn't it. - I was watching that shit live. Were you guys? - No. - No, I watched it after. I was not able to watch it live. And then what, I just kind of heard everything blow up on my phone. And then I watched the replay. I mean, it actually has to remain the worst call of the season, was the first call of the season. And it's actually one of the worst calls of all time. - I fully agree with you. And I, when they gave once, when they put one second back on the clock, I was with friends in Tahoe. And we were all like Michigan, they're obviously gonna complete this Hail Mary now. Like this is just how this works. (laughing) And of course they did. What's funny is just how this worked. - So initially it was like this is bullshit. They gave this to Michigan. They would have never done this if it were flipped. And, but then, I believe the Big Ten and the Mac, kind of like came together, and the Big Ten provided their reasoning for why this happened. And the Mac accepted it. And it was like, hey, if you actually look at it, when the, when the Western Michigan defender touched the ball, he jumped from out of bounds, thus ending the plane. If you check the clock, the refs clock, or like, you know, the internal clock, there was one second left. And when I read that, I was like, all right, I mean, I guess that's just really unlucky for Western Michigan. And now there's been a push back to that, where the Western Michigan is like, actually, you shouldn't be using an internal clock. You need to be, the rules say you need to use the game clock. And when you look at the game clock, it fucking expired. It's, so give us the goddamn win. It's one of the worst application the rules I've ever seen, both in the moment. And then like, it took them three days to even get to the ruling itself. Yeah. And for those who don't know, I mean, everyone's probably seen it, but they were literally, Michigan's losing by five, throws a helmet with nine seconds left. Ball hits, before the ball even gets to any of the players, it's at zero seconds at the clock, Michigan loses. They come back on the field, they're like, reviewed. they give them the ball back, Michigan, they decide there's like a tenth of a second left, Michigan hits the Hill and Mary wins the game. But to your point, the refs come out, they're like, well, we, we had our own clock in the, in the booth that no one's allowed to see. And that clock, there's a double C-Clock probation clock. Our secret clock says there's two tenths of a second. And then they're like, and there's no way it's wrong because we, we, we, we synchronize them with strobe lights. So there's no way it's wrong. And then they, and they just go through this, why would that would, why would the, the broadcasts want to be wrong, then? Because they were, they were showing the clock that was on the field. They were wrong. Like the answer is the rest were wrong and they doubled down on it and everyone was panicking and making mistakes, as they cited the, it was like dodgeball, they're like, rude to 12 ADAT. And Mike Pereira. And every now and then you forget, these guys are great at this. Mike Pereira comes out and just says it in English. And he's like, the rule is your, the referees in the booth are supposed to go off the telecast. This whole, well, we have a fake clock. You don't use that in that situation. You go with the public, your, the whole point is supposed to build public trust. Why don't you use the TV copy? The second clock. Dude, he's like, no, be an idiot and use the secret super clock. Like, literally, he's like, use your brain. That's why you haven't been replaced by a robot yet. And so, but the thing that happened today is now they, the big 10 referee association is asking, let me make sure it's the big 10, right? Put out a referee association, put out a statement. They want to overturn the result of the game, which I've never seen. And I, it's not the big 10, it's the Mac, the Mac. Yes. Well, the Mac, so the, oh, well, yeah, no wonder they want to do it. Was it not the big 10 referees agreeing with it? Not the big 10 itself, to be clear. Well, I, the official statement was put out by the Mac saying, okay, give us the goddamn win. But I feel like they can't because it's like, that's opening up Pandora's box. I think the voters should honestly just treat it like Michigan lost the game for the entire season. Voters should ignore the Michigan win and treat Michigan like they're like, they dropped out of the pole. Think some people are. I mean, even the Michigan fans, I know we're like, yeah, that was, that was, that was bad. They're like, luckily Michigan doesn't have any blemishes on the record in terms of fairness and following the rules and whatnot. There's nothing of that sort sort of like casting a poll over this whole situation. It was the, it was one of the most, no, always so. I think they're clean. Nothing, nothing to note. It was one of the most egregious screw jobs I've seen in a long time. The other thing we have to mention is that the least amount of shepherds out here, fucking tweet about it. Goddamn it. These Michigan men. So Michigan was, yeah, shepherds, the Michigan thing. So Michigan then stormed the field and the victory. And Stadhol, shout out Stadhol and sports reference who actually put out a, this, I can't believe they had this. It was the worst storm field, storming of the field ever by point spread. Mission. It's a four touch on favorite status. It's storming of the field. The literal biggest favorite ever on record to storm the field after a win. The most pathetic storming of a field who basically wanted like a technicality. It's all the Michigan lawyers running on the field. Did you guys see, did you guys see the initial like statement from the big 10 that was explaining why they overturned it? It's like the weirdest choice in font and and back. There's like a black background with blue words over the top. This guy, Clue Hayward, uh, was like making fun of his like what layout and fonts we use for this controversy. This was like the opening credits of the movie Halloween from the 70s. This is a hundred percent. It's like from stranger things or something. This font is on the Mount Run. It's with Dan Gilbert's Comic Sans letter after LeBron left in the Papyrus from Avatar and then this letter. Pireless. It's like, it's the least seriously I've ever seen. Just fucking use white background black writing and normal font. Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just clumped, do we hydrate it skin? That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Maybe it's Maybelline. Uh, all right. Let's do. We're gonna purge. You want to be fantasy court then purge us? Well, yeah, fantasy court. We're bringing fantasy court back. Fantasy court. Fantasy courts back to it. Do we have the, do we have, we have an intro for fantasy court? We're gonna update it for the season, but right now we'll do the old one for for old time's sake. Definitely don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing. I don't really want to be handcuffed. The definition of an object is a material thing that can be seen and touched. Can you touch a cloud? Oh, it will never not be funny that we're reading the dictionary definition of an object. We have to add when Craig said to me night is when it's dark. Night to me is when it's dark. Okay, this is a fantasy court from, well, this one's from redacted. Redacted. Of course. Yeah, our body and anonymity. 23 years old breakfast all over the place, but this morning was two Costco egg bites, two banana pudding Oreos, yogurt covered raisins, a liberty and justice for apple rain, holy shit, the goat energy drink. I don't know what that is. What? I feel like I just got hit with a, like a fire hose. A liberty and justice. What was it? Apple rain rain is with it eat like a king. Apple rain. I don't liberty and justice for, I don't know what that is. A rain is a drink. Rain is an energy drink. So it's a liberty and I don't know, man, I don't know what this energy liberty is for apples. It's a, that's an energy drink. It's a rain. I do, I do know that rain is an energy drink. Liberty and justice for Apple is a limited edition tart green apple flavored energy drink featuring 300 milligrams of caffeine and zero sugar. We should do an energy drink taste test this year. So that's basically fucking liquid nitrogen that you just guzzling down today. So redacted rights. 30 seconds before the draft, one of our league members text the group chat and says, hey, send the invite because I can't get into the draft because my account is on my other email and I have a new one. And then every, so everyone just makes fun of him and flames him in the group chat. And the commissioners like, well, the, he's the commissioner and he's like, well, the draft started. So I can't do anything. And so the auto draft, he just auto drafts and then he looks at his teams like, yeah, fuck this and wants his money back. Oh. And everyone votes and it's like, obviously not. Sorry, you're an idiot. And so he sees that. And it's like, all right, we'll screw you guys. I don't want to be the league anyway. Keep the money. I don't care. And like leaves the chat. I don't want to play. It's like, okay. So the commissioners like, yeah, soft. So the commissioners like, well, my wife is wanted to play fantasy. So she, my wife is like, do you want to take over the team? And she's like, yeah. And she's like, we're excited. And everyone kind of agrees that if she wins, people get their money back because she didn't pay anything. She's kind of paying on that guy's buying, which they all agreed to. And I'm like, I get it. That's fine. Because she didn't pay any money. So the catch is the guy texts the next day and is like, hey, I want to come back in screw it. I was being a little bitch. I want to come back in. And he says, what do I do? Oh, you say no. Easy. That's what I thought. Anyone who's fucking threatens to leave the league and then does leave is like, all right, we're better off that bitch. Move. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the fact that he didn't prepare until like the 10 minutes before the draft and the first, that's like, that's like strike one threatening to leave strike two, leaving strike three, trying to get back in strike four like this. You're just better off that it. I think screw this guy. But I would send him his money back though. Yeah, give them money back. Don't let him hold anything over. Yeah, I would just send him the money back. And then maybe your wife pays half price or something. But I would, yeah. Yeah. Email us a ringer fantasy football. Oh, is he like in the group? Is this like a beloved friend in the group? Well, he left. I know. I guess I'm just like, I'm trying to be a little bit more diplomatic here. If this is like a beloved friend and he was having a bad season's Wednesday and on Monday, he's like, I don't want to be in the league and I quit. Like, you have to replace him. Also, this guy like told your wife's in the league. Like, come on. No. DK, if it was one of your close friends who did this and was like, hey, DK, I'm sorry. Can I come back in? I was being a dick at a bad day. Are you like fuck off? I'll never talk to you again. Or are you? I would probably be much more diplomatic about and say, sorry. It's too late now. We already filled the position. I don't want I don't feel comfortable kicking this other person out. Per your earlier. No, we can go drink in later. So I think I would say you can you can be back in next year. Sure. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. If you're really you're on time. It depends on the person. Of course. Yeah. If there's a history of this, then I would probably just be like, Yeah, we're better off without you. He's not allowed back in. Give him his money back. Maybe he's back next year. I think that's the answer. Yeah. Email us a ringer fantasy football gmail.com and email us your fantasy courts. We will litigate. Remember last year or two years ago, someone dropped Marvin Harrison when they were drunk and we were like, yes. And then you know what? Turned out to be a great move. You never know what happened. So emails that accidentally drafting Brian Robinson and not be John Robinson. That happened. Someone texted me. Shout out to Max who texted me some genius in a Yahoo. The those auction those salary kept drafts nominated B dot Robinson and Falcons went for 60 bucks. Dude, do you realize this be John? I did an auction draft on Yahoo. Couple days ago. And Brian Robinson's like average price is like $19 because people fuck it up too much. Oh, what would you do in that situation? Like it's one of those. Hey, yeah. Sorry. You got to click on the thing. But that's kind of a formatting error. Like what? Like if someone immediately starts since their season spent 70 bucks and B dot Robinson. And they're like, screw it. Like it's a good bit. You probably have to keep it. But it is bullshit. Now I would give them their money back. Would you do that? Yeah. I like the fact that you're not like. holding anything above them or what? - Full transparency, I just made a trade with Joe Fan in our Trader's Alley Dynasty League and he was trying to trade for TETN on my team and was offering a lot for him. And I had to let him know that it was TETN's brother, Trevor, Trevor, that he was inquiring about not Travis. I know, that's bad faith, that's bad karma. - Yeah, totally. - There was this catcher on the Metz when we were in eighth grade named Jose A Reyes. And it said Jose A Reyes on the Metz. And Jose Reyes had won the MVP. And this guy was in AA. And I flipped him for Chase Sutley, who then win the MVP. - Oh Jesus Christ. - Yeah, well, it's just a window into both of yours. - I was 12. - So you've been rotten since the start. (laughing) - People don't change, people don't forget. - All right, you wanna hear listener take, Perch? - Yeah. - This is one of the favorite developments we've had all year is that we have the Discord channel. People throw in their purges. I've been amazed by the quality of them, to be honest, and I'm so excited. It turns out that the purge should expand. We, everyone needs the purge. You get these thoughts off? - I think it's had low expectations for all of you. - It's becoming much like a movie. It's becoming a franchise. - No, they were amazing, dude. One of the purge, one of the listener purges from the draft was that the 2024 draft class, none of them will ever be as good as they were. They're rookie year, Jayden Daniels, Brian Thomas, Brock Bowers, like Malik neighbors, all these guys peaked in our, and I'm like, that's an amazing take. That's a good purge. - I hope that's not right. Like, it's just good. Like, it's the take purges are good. So I want to go through some of these, and some of these I'm truly jealous of. So I might want to disavow, but so we're not going to quite do the sirens in the music, but like, that's the vibe. Like, you know, these are things people trying to get off their chest. This one is from X-Teen. With a CK, X-Teen. - Okay. - E-Bone. - X-Teen. Yes. B. Jean Robinson is going to be a huge bus this year, and Atlanta is going to go down in flames. The Falcons will be worst than the Cardinals. - You know, great believes this already. - It's a good take. I'm actually, I'm already jealous that none of us, I feel like we talked so much shit about the quarterback situation in Atlanta. We're so nervous about too much. - We didn't mention. - None of us had the stones to be like, maybe B. Jean shouldn't be the second pick in the draft. - Damn. - My brother was trying to talk to me about this over Labor Day weekend. He's like, so you think the Falcons can be terrible, and you think two is going to be bad, and Penex is like as big of a risk to get hurt as anybody. I was like, yeah. So why do you guys have B. Jean at number two? And I was like, well, because he's really good. He's like, isn't that stupid? And I'm quite possibly. And he's like, who do you want me to take it to? I'm like B. Jean. He's like, but that doesn't make sense. And I was like, take Jamar Chase then. He's like, I don't want to take a receiver. I want to take a running back. - The beauty of doing the take project at this point in the season is like, when you think about it, and you try to put yourself in your shoes, you know, whatever four or five months from now, and thinking about what went wrong in the season, this makes so much sense to me. I'm like, oh, obviously, the Falcons are offense is going to be a disaster. Why do we have B. Jean second? - We literally have like, as a tattoo, like, taken to account overall environment. And like, it's why we had, he keeps his number one, but it's going to be like something there. - Maybe. - Good one. - I'm still taking B. Jean second, though, probably. - This one I'm jealous of. Jean's take purge is that the Browns are starting to show on Watson to begin the season with the hopes that he gets injured so that the insurance will cover his salary. - Okay. - They're literally throwing him to the world. - I mean, there's something there. - It's bounty gate, but like reverse. - Yeah. - Right. - It's their own guy. - How can we hurt our own guy? - For those who don't know, if you take out an insurance policy on a player, and they get injured, if they gain them is to injure, you get a cap credit the next year, which is how the Browns have survived this thing. Their Jets did that, or the Jets, I think did it with Rodgers. - This is a good theory. - Hi Fitz, is this like, you know you're take about the chiefs in my homes and-- - The Josh Simmons, who is it? - Yeah, Josh Simmons tossing the defensive. - Josh Simmons is like how they are practicing all preseason. - It's like, we'll just chuck your guy into the quarterbacks legs. - Shafter Tweets, it's like, the Browns have traded for Josh Simmons. (laughing) - God, that's a great take. - From Jean. - Jean. - Jean. - Jean. Parmesan, Jean. - This one's from Allison. - Allison. - A bone. - Many of the NFL players who get in trouble for speeding come from Texas, especially Dallas, because in Dallas, our driving etiquette is to treat the highway speed limit as the minimum. - Huh? - They're just built different. - You know what, land man, everyone's driving really fast. In Texas, it's like culturally, 75 is like, don't go below 75. - This is how I felt when I went to Florida. - Yes. - And people in Florida are insane. - Allison is saying, Miles Garrett was the nine tickets, for she raced, all these people learned to drive in Texas and then they moved to other places. And then-- - Driven Texas for one day and you're like, oh my god, this place is terrifying. I gotta go. - I was unaware of this. This is a good take. - It's a good take. I went down a deep dive and I'm like, most of the people with speeding issues are Texas or obviously Georgia. - So in Dallas, they're just like, yes, be limit, don't really worry about that. It's a guideline. - You have to worry about it, don't go below it. - What's the Pirates of the Caribbean line about the rules? It's like, what is it? - The Pirates code's more like guidelines. Allison said that there have been times she's been going 20 over and been passed like she was going 20 under. People just rippin' it around her. So, all right, this take purchase from, I don't know how to say this. Daphne's rock, I don't know. - Demon. - They're discord user names. Daphne's rock says, fantasy football was more fun 15 years ago when the majority of people were just taking their favorite players instead of treating it like the stock market and doing all this analysis. Back in the day, if you just showed up talking about maximizing value and taking calculated risks, you'd be shoved in a locker. - Or talking about your portfolio. - Yeah, this is essentially private equity ruined fantasy football. It's like how private equity just ruined everything. It's like, now the Lakers are an asset to flip. And like a movie studio is like a balance sheet now than taking creative risks. Yeah, this is a good take. - There is a pretty strong, whatever the middle circle and event diagram is of like Bitcoin bros and fantasy players. There's a lot of overlap there, I feel like. - I know. - I mean, people literally talk about fantasy players, they'll say like, I have a lot of shares of DJ more. - Totally. - I kind of like this take. - It's a great take. Michael Lewis should write a book about it. - I have some non-football take perjury here. I want to do the lead a day. - Yeah, yeah, I like these. - Okay. - ACZ says Citronella Candles attract more mosquitoes which gets you to buy more candles. (laughing) - It's like a pyramid scheme. (laughing) - Dude. - Yeah, I would love. So let me email us if you actually know how to prevent mosquitoes from nipping at your heels 'cause I can't do it. - Brandon says Christopher Nolan is lying about not having a smartphone. - Oh, that's good. - It's just performative. - It's like Tarantino same way. Yeah, it's just performative. It's cool to not have one, you know. - I'm unreachable. But if I call you answer. - Christopher Nolan's just had payphones all over the city. (laughing) - I just wanna have him. - He's got a pocket full of quarters. - Lud says that Craig is not the hottest person in the pod and I'm tired of pretending he is. - Whoa. - This is just, this is trying to strike a wedge between the three of us. We've already established the hierarchy here. And we can't, we can't unseat the balance. - I wanna know who the answer is. I wanna see YouTube battle over the throne. (laughing) - That could be only one. (laughing) - I saw Highlander. (laughing) - It was shit. DK comes back on the next episode with giant veneers. (laughing) - So we're getting hairplugs and veneers. Start the GoFundMe. - DK is gonna record the season from Turkey. (laughing) - That was the only thing he'd answer. It was if we sent him to Turkey. He was like, "Yeah, I'd go." - He's like, "I'd go." - Okay. Thank you to everyone who did the take purge. Thank you for emailing your purges. Email us at rianfantasyphobaltgmail.com. Email us your fantasy courts. Email, we want fantasy court cases. We want, we're the other things we want. - Tell me how to prevent mosquitoes. - How to prevent mosquitoes. And trivia questions. We want trivia questions on Monday. Wavres, we do trivia is the kind of do the tiebreaker. - The trivia questions have to have like a numerical answer. - Closest to the pin style. - Yes. - So just that way for wrong, we can be wrong by an amount. So at least an amount has to be for wrong. - If we're wrong, we won't be wrong. - Yeah. Thank you, DK, thank you Craig. Thank you, Nikhil. - Thank you. - Thank you to Cam, thank you to Austin. And thank you to Evan for listening. Thank you to Evan for emailing your take purges. Thank you to the seven for doing the hot quarterback rankings. fantasyphobaltgmail.com. We will have our rankings this week. So if you want to do start sit rankings, we'll have that for you for the weekend. And thank you to everyone who's listening to us for the whole off season and preseason and the season's here. So now we're going to actually talk about football games that happened. So most of all though, thank you Lord. - Lord. - I got one month. - Continued. - Continues. You have one DK? - I got one if you want. - Yeah, hit me. - Yeah, hit me. - One of my favorites. It is a real classic Motley crew home sweet home. - Oh! - Mama way. - Oh banger. - Mama way. - Mama way. - Oh sweet home. - Oh sweet home. - I love the 80s man. They just like the ballad, the true ballad. It's just like so glorious. Feels like- Like I'm going on a real journey every time I hear this song. It reminds me also of Hot Tub Time Machine. Oh, sure. So just a great song. No offense. I didn't really know what song you were talking about when you guys were singing, but I pulled it up. And now, yes. You really got to hit some high bars to be able to sing that. Yeah. Yeah. So this video is also just one of the most 80s things I've ever seen. It looks exactly like I thought it would look. Motley Crew. First of all. Great name. Oh, yeah. With two little um lots over the oh and the you. Yeah. Why is that? I don't know. Not sure. I feel like that was. I was, how when I did that? Hell, Ricky. I don't know. They just woke up and someone included it. They're like, sure. Yeah. Um, do you think they would have had the same career without the um lots without the little dots? No. I feel like that made him stand out. I think they wouldn't have. Should we do that on our show? Ring or fantasy? Maybe. Yeah. Did Motley crew have Nikki six? Yeah. Basis and Nikki six. Tommy Lee was of course, yeah. The drummer. He married Pamela Anderson. I know him from that. Yeah. I'm not learning. He's from this. Yeah. I think if I had to, if I had to bet which band did the most drugs Motley Crew would be among my top five decks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're up there. What do I not know about? Nikki six. Mary to frickin' Heather Locklear too. Man. He's like Billy Bob Thornton. Sky. Uh, Nikki 63. Nikki, Nikki six. I almost said Nikki Dix. Hi, if it's Nikki six was uh, uh, Nikki to the heroin. Oh. That's it. So. Can I ask you a question? Where did the, where did the term Motley crew come from? Was that before, was like a group of mangy kids of Motley crew before Motley crew became a band? Or now are they Motley crew when you see like, some kids? No, I think it's like, uh, it's five o'clock somewhere. It was a saying that then like Jimmy Buffett was like, I'm going to build a song around it and make it. I think Motley crew existed as a phrase, right? I don't know. Hi, if it's you now, um, uh, you, you, as you and Jack, you have that like list of phrases that people only used for one specific thing like, Oh, yeah. No one, I feel like Motley is only used with crew. Yeah. I've never heard Motley used outside of Motley crew. Also, I'm seeing Motley crew is very old from the 17th and 18th centuries. Maybe Motley bunch, but Motley is mostly with crew. And for people who've known him and told about, there are certain words that just immediately it's only for phrase. My favorite one being Spangled. The band star Spangled Banner. What does that even mean? Spangled. Spangled. What does that word even mean? I mean, yeah, splashed, decorated or sprinkled with small shiny objects or lights. Right. Some cupcakes. There's Spangled. Look at me. Like I was crazy. There are certain words where I'm like, why did we don't need a word for that? We don't need a word for decorate with small, shiny lights. I don't know. I feel the same way about says Craig, well, you know what word I think truly does not need to exist. And I don't know why it does. And I've always felt this way. This is so random is to penetrate, which is to throw someone out of a window. Why is that a word? I don't know. What are they saying to throw someone out of a window? Okay, but why aren't there words for throw someone off a roof? Isn't there a word for that? There might be. I don't think so. There's a German word called because it's like there's this thing like the defenestration of proc. And they're like, oh, what they do? They burn the city down. They're like, no, they just threw this guy out of a window. Like, we'll just say that then. You what? When is there a word for that? Just say that. That's a complicated word. It throws somebody out of a window. That's why we like the old German words because they're just smashing it together. Like when you're sad, and when you eat, the words just grief-bacon. Just do that. Anyway, that's my beef with defenestrate. Oh, the Craig, there is no official standard English word for throwing someone off a roof. Though some people use a word called detect-detectdumation, which- I'm just like throwing people out of windows that aren't common enough to justify a word for it. There's so many other actions that I feel like are just as common if not more common. Can I- I want to ask you an important question, DK. The Tommy Lee thing, the Tommy Lee Pamela Anderson thing. I feel like I heard a lot about this as a kid, but just hearing about- but I didn't know the main text. I just- everything I learned, but the Tommy Lee Pamela Anderson sex tape was just like jokes of like, whose line is it anyway? And like jokes from like, Jay Leno? But were you like, were you like a kid trying to find this in the woods? Are you asking me if I've seen it? Or could you ask me a direct question? All right, I'll ask- I'll just ask it, DK. Yes. Who's gonna win the Super Bowl? Goodbye, everyone. [MUSIC] Must be 21 plus and present in select states. For Kansas in affiliation with Kansas star casino or 18 plus in present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem, call 1-800-Gamber or 1-800-My-Reset. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org/chat and Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24/7 support and Massachusetts or call 1-877-8 Hope-NY or text Hope-NY in New York for Louisiana call 1-877-770-7867. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York.