Postpartum TMI: Latching, Let Downs & Things No One Warns You About

A baby can initiate a letdown and then just decide they don't want it. Yeah, and you're like, "Look at life right now, you're coming out." You order this, now you have to eat it. I didn't cuss my entire labor. She latched and I cussed pretty loud. I was like, "Please bring in the formula, because I'm so scared of my child." The sight of my boobs being built by a machine just never got old. With my first, I was like, "Mat, I've got your eyes." [laughs] It's humiliating, seeing him and that. And then they're where they look after when they come out of their stuck. [laughs] [upbeat music] Welcome back to "Always Here." We're your host, Abby Howard. And Abby Howard. Hello. Hey. Hey, hey. Did you guys say his name yet? Yeah. Okay, hey, hey, hey. For sure. We've been calling him Fish. Fishy. That's about, oh, tiny. We call him tiny. He's like, tiny, sad. Tiny, sad. Oh. Well, he's all sleepy now, so it's perfect. He's asleep if he's wrapped to me. Yeah, good. Well, we're here to share the hope and the heart with heart and humor. Yeah, what's going on in your life? You know what? I feel so dysregulated. Why? I know just no reason. I don't know. I just feel this morning, here's my heart. I saw you today. You seem regulated. Oh, well, you should've seen me like two an hour before. Okay. We had a play date this morning with some of our girlfriends. And I even made a big plea to them. I was like, hey, do you guys want to be my best friend? And so they're like, let's plan a hang. Because I really like these girls. I think they're fun. I like want to join the arms with them. Did they say yes? Yeah. Okay. But then now they kind of know me, so now I'm nervous after today. They're not going to want to. I was so weird. I showed up. Okay, we started playing or hanging out at 9.30. All of our kids are around the same age. I came just with my baby. I know, it was perfect. I was like, we're not playing, but I'm playing. I mean, it's a friend time. I show up at 9.30 and I had all these plans. I wanted to go for a walk to all this stuff. But it was kind of a hard parenting morning. And so I already have just kind of a little out of my. I was just a little discombobulated. So then I show up and I literally. That can get you off your game, for sure. I felt like my quarters all levels were all over the place. Like, they were talking to me and I had no idea they were speaking to me. They were like, Abby. Abby, like, calling out to me. I was just so weird. Like, super socially weird. It's just odd. I don't think so. I honestly still feel it now. I feel like I can't say this. I just had another coffee. And I asked her, like, do you have coffee and Grace said no. I was like, wow. I don't know why I'm the fast. I don't know. I didn't press. I did feel. I was a little shocked. They seemed like coffee people. Well, now you can't be best friends. I was like, I don't think she wants to be friends with me after this. And then we're there and the kids are playing, having a great time. And all of a sudden, we hear, crash. You know, I heard it before and I was like, that sounds so suspicious. Yes. And then it happened again. Four times. And we go around the corner. CJ and his little buddies had thrown four really nice collectible Legos. Like, fully built. A doll Legos that her husband built in college. And they smashed him into hundreds of pieces. No, Abbey Fouls. Thousands of pieces. I was like. G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g. The dollar sign's coming off in my head. I felt horrible. He's had these since college. He's in his 30s. They're like display. They designed his whole. Their son's bedroom around them because they're star wars all like the ships. Super cute room. So cute. I mean, there was a Millennium Falcon in there. Yes, there was. Abbey, that one's the. But listen, there were smaller ones. Okay. They weren't the massive ones. So, I'm like, we'll pay anything. I feel horrible. Well, I texted her and I was like. I was there. I could have done something. She wasn't there. We were all in the living room and the boy. Like, all the kids were playing migrating. Yes. And so, like, the owner of the home? She was there. Oh, yeah, yeah. So, we were talking. And I was like, you got to bend for all these Legos. I thought it was like a kid's pieces set that they like dumped the bin out. And she goes, no. I said, with these builds. She's like, yeah. And she was so gracious about it. She was so kind about it. And so, but I thought we all felt horrible. And yeah, I texted her and was like, just like. Let me know which ones they were. Because when I was looking at it, I could not figure it out. Yeah. I was like, literally all the pieces from all four of them were mixed together. She said she's gonna try to put them back together, but. That's really sweet of it. It's like, just let me know. I won't literally pay for those. I didn't know how serious that would be. Like, I was wondering. I was like, okay. If this was something that happened with Matt, like. Matt's not into Legos, but what if I would, like, just took a picture of it on the floor and send it to him. Yeah. Here's that work. I was like, maybe this isn't that funny. This isn't funny. No, that's not. This is serious. I just felt terrible. She was so sweet. She's like, he's a grown man. He'll be just fine. I know. I love her because she's kind of a heart. She's a top cookie. I know. We all felt terrible. I told him everything. I was thinking about it too. I know. I just kept ruminating. I'm like, oh, poor man. No, it's okay. You know what? My kids just didn't know better. Yeah. They look like they are toys. They do. They just one of those few toys that's for an adult. I know. I know. I know. I think the kids responded really well. They were still apologetic. She didn't talk about the whole time on her way home. She said, I'm going to get my piggy bank and some money. And we'll go buy him some new ones. I was like, buddy, that's really sweet. That's really good generosity. I'm like, you're forgiven. When he left, he was like, and next time I'm not going to touch the legos. What is it? This was a good lesson that we learned the hard way. Really hard to say. Yeah. So that was a really big bummer. But we'll make it right. Yeah. But that was, yeah. But my hope is great. Next week, I'll leave for Italy. So I'm just, this is getting ready. I'm so excited for you. I'm excited for you. I think about it a lot. I'm like Abby's going to go to bed early as well. I just can't stop talking about it. It's like talking about no I feel like there's just a lot. It's a big deal. I know. We just haven't done anything like this in so long So I'm prepared. I put Caleb and baggy jeans. Did you see that? No video? Sorry. You look good. You put it in baggy jeans Yeah, okay baggy jeans and I got a baggy linen pants. You're just dressing up like cool. Yeah, I was like listen We don't just go shopping so I'm gonna buy the things I don't want you to wear And yeah, now he just need shoes. I never think about what Matt's wearing. Did you like that purple shirt? I showed you from people you didn't say anything about it. I like that purple shirt. Yeah the internet I was I had to admit defeat. I was wrong. I brought this outfit from free people Is this really cute little mini skirt which felt very out of my comfort zone and I paired it with this flouncy blousey purple plum shirt. They just didn't like the combo. They didn't like the shirt with anything They said I just didn't fit my body right Which I was like all right. I'll admit when I'm wrong So I like the top I did too, but actually it's a beautiful color on you. You're gonna turn thanks Yeah, okay, I know everyone it was like pretty unanimous and I did tell Caleb. Okay, you were right. I was wrong Oh, he didn't like it either. He didn't like it. Why I hate this about why is that? Why don't hate this about myself but it does sometimes I'm like Why does this matter so much like if Matt doesn't like something I know like I want and to be honest with me And so I like him when he says he doesn't like something, but then I'm like well now I can't wear it Well, I actually get genuinely mad. I'm like you have to like it if I like it But sometimes he doesn't and then I'm like well, I'm gonna wear it anyway. Oh, so I'm the opposite I'm like I only want you to I want you to like it. Oh, yeah, for this trip I want him to like what I wear so I'll return it, but normally I'm like you just don't get it I'm gonna pull that card. He's like why do you ask my opinion if you don't care about it? And I was like well, I just actually more one validation. Oh, but he can't lie So say compliment me. So I'm like, well, it's for the girls then not for you. Well, my hope is Like our my community at our community. We have the same people basically have like shown up for me and so many ways recently that I'm just like Yeah, I post part of this easy, but I have an army a small army of people doing essentially everything for me like and so it's one of those things where It's like it people have been so kind, so thoughtful, so generous that it's almost uncomfortable at times But I did listen to the perfect episode of Arthur Brooks right before I had Fisher. It was um Something about like letting people help why you should let people help you. Literally, I think is what it's called And it was a great podcast and I was I every time I'm like reminding myself because I'm like it's so uncomfortable sometimes to like Have people help you and I don't know. I don't want to be that way like I have so much help But it's also just like just it's so I think the part of it that just Gets me is that every single person that I showed up for me also has a young needy family And a million other things to do with their time and I'm like oh my gosh like don't and can like don't inconvenience yourself like this for me Like you have a million things to do and everyone has just been so amazing like I'm not I can't even So many I still haven't cooked dinner good. We are several several days weeks from Giving birth and I still have not cooked dinner and I certainly haven't cooked lunch because we have all the left I literally have just been eating good food and I still can't eat at all and I've been eating so much And I'm also feeding three other People like yeah, it's crazy. And so I'm just like so so so so grateful like I just I really Wish this for single every single person that has a baby because this I I also like I've never had it bad, but I know the difference from like having a baby with like a really strong community And having a baby when you don't really know too many people and don't have a baby many people in your like network. And I think this is a major reason why this postpartum has been significantly different for me. Did you have a meal train with Griffin? No. Okay. I'm trying to remember. I feel like we brought you meals after. You for sure did. Yeah. Remember that much about that time. It's a blur. It was also four years ago. So long time ago. Yeah. After Oggy was every meal train? Yeah. Certainly. Because I had one with CJ. Okay. Then I surely did. Yeah. Okay. Because I feel like we made a lot of friends in that time. Yeah. I know. I'm like, oh, dang it. Dang it. It does make the biggest difference. So much so. And just a lot of people checking in on me too, which is really, really sweet. And yeah, I just wish that for every mom that has a baby. And I also just know that they're not going to just show up for me now, but I'll see them months from now. And then there's just like continued support and love extended, which is super humbling. And so grateful for the hard for me is that certainly as I'm part of the day, I find myself a little overwhelmed at the responsibility that I now have. I'm like, wow, this is a big responsibility. I have three children. And that's not, I don't take that lightly. And I think this is just the price of like it's just growing pains of like, like I always say, like moms make it happen and your capacity grows. And I certainly feel it growing. And I'm like, so grateful. I think it's grown really fast. But there's growing pains with that. And everyone's like, oh, my word. Yeah. Like there's a lot of pressing needs right now. And like my non-negotiable that I said from the beginning was like, I have to shower every morning. Like I just know, like if you don't set that, if you don't set that standard, that's how crazy this season is. Like you literally won't shower. And I know that every mom knows this. Like, and I'm like, I need to shower and brush my teeth every morning. That has to happen. Brushing my teeth was so hard for those first two weeks. Yeah, I'll let you keep going. But I do have a story. No, go ahead. My sister, I was just telling her, I just feel so overwhelmed. I just can't even like, I literally had three p.m. and I haven't brushed my teeth. And she goes, I just think you really need to take care of yourself. And I said, don't say those words to me in this moment. I was like, that is not even what I'm thinking about. Yeah. I'd rather my teeth fall out than go brush them literally. I don't have time. Literally. Like you're just so, like those first couple weeks are so hectic and all you're doing is nursing and then trying to keep up with your kids. Cause then in the time that you're not nursing, you're like, oh, I have to do their laundry list of things to get done before the next week. Yeah. And then which is hard. If you're given the opportunity to set them down, right? Literally like that, which doesn't happen. Right. And so yeah, that's a lot. It's really important to shower. Yeah. So ours is a good one. Like I'm like, I'm taking a shower. Put it in there. Okay. You're not going to do that. That's what you're saying. I still make it happen. Okay. Oh, I haven't missed a single toothbrush. Oh, good. I need a toothbrush that's like in bed with me as I'm going to sleep. And I like if I get in bed without brushing my teeth, I'm not getting out of bed. Oh, listen, these fights are not fights, but these these times that you've talked to Matt on the podcast before about not brushing his teeth in the morning, I'm not late at night. Oh, sometimes me too, Addy. But it's so tight. It actually a good amount of fights about me not brushing my teeth. Maybe we're the same breed. I'm like, I am not going to get up. Oh, I'm like, no, I'm here. I have a sleep. I can't do it. Now I have the tip where I have to wash my face. Yeah. I mean, it's just I don't think it's any worse than brushing. I have really stinky breath. Yeah, me too. I don't do it as much now because I have this take where I have to wash my face if I have makeup on, which I used to sleep with my makeup on. But now I'm like, if I'm going to wash my face, I might as well just brush my teeth. So I don't miss any more, but I use it all the time. See that falls into my category if I don't do anything before going to bed. Like I you would just hop in bed like just like that. Yes. Those clothes on. Yeah. Yeah, remember she's like. Oh, I'd probably be like, she's like, at this point in this pregnancy, I'd probably take my pants off, but then I would just I would hop in bed just like this. I still think about that time when you told us you nap in jeans sometimes and I'm still a pop. Basically every Sunday I wear, if I wear jeans to church, they're going in my nap. Oh, my gosh. I've got me. Are they loose at least? They're loose. Yeah, they're not skinny jeans. I still can't just the thick heaviness that I'm a weird off body. You would hate my routine. Every night I got to do it. Everything. That's good. That's a good like decompress. I'm about to go to bed. I'm like, hop in bed. That's it. Now go to sleep. Well, I can't so many. You get better now. I have it literally. You do have a lot. That's where I start to feel really overwhelmed actually is I'm like, I got to have you bathed. Have you bathed? Have you read a book? Where's your milk? Where's my puke part? I'm like, ha! This is what we toss by nighttime scaries. That's what I got on bad last night. Got on bad. Yeah. And so I was like, Matt, I'm really scared. Oh, you're scared of what? I'm like, the hours of statistics. Just FaceTime me. I'll read them a book to the phone and just get them in their jeans. They want to really listen and they would love that. Yeah, I was like, I was scared last night. I don't know if I'd do it, but I'd feel better. I got a little, I did do better last night. But yeah, that's just, that's just growing pains and I know that. And I think that if anything, like having the perspective of like this is so short and we like realize that now, I didn't have the perspective. Honestly, even with my second, because they were so close together. Yeah. Like we hadn't gotten to that point yet. So now it's just been really sweet and enjoyable. We had a busy. It's pretty. The baby noises grunting. Thank you to forkful for sponsoring this portion of today's episode eating well can be difficult when life gets busy. Ain't that the truth? All of us moms and working women life gets busy or counter gets full. And what's the first thing to go basic necessities like feeding yourself? I can't tell you how many days I get a headache by the afternoon. I'm like, wait, why doesn't matter? Oh yeah, because I've had zero calories today. And that is why I love services like forkful. Forkful is meals that prioritize flavor cannot forget flavor you guys function and health zero seed oils chef cooked fresh never frozen ready to eat meals made with high quality premium proteins such as grass fed bison wild caught salmon and fresh vegetables. No meal prep cooking or cleanup just clean flavors and ready and under three minutes. You really cannot meet that you guys delivered straight to your door within 24 to 48 hours. That turnaround is unbelievable. I can tell you that having a meal ready in three minutes that is flavorful, healthy and makes me feel satiated and energized to tackle the rest of my day cannot be beat. And that's why we're thankful for forkful. Explore our plans and menu of fresh ready to eat meals at forkfulmeals.com and use code abby to get 50% off your first order. That's forkfulmeals.com/abby and use promo code abby for 50% off. Thanks to forkful for sponsoring this episode. Braille's birthday party. It was so good. It was fun. I feel like I as I was like leading up to it, I was like, is this two over the top? And I'm like, it's actually not that over top at all. It's perfect. But it was a little bigger than maybe just a typical house party. We don't have a home to hosting. So we rented a little clubhouse at my friend's neighborhood and it had a splash pad. So that's all I wanted was her to have a splash pad for her birthday. That was a great set up. I like for the party. Yeah. I was preparing for it to be outside. I think everyone was. I was scared. Everyone was preparing. Yeah. I was like, it's at a park, I think. I was like, me and Fisher are going to be there for five minutes. Yeah. And I walk up and I was like, this is beautiful. Yeah. We had a, we had the clubhouse inside and then people could go outside to the splash pad and they were connected. And so it was great. And the air is on a heat too, which was fun. But Braille really enjoyed it. She blew out her candle by touching the flame. That was epic. That was epic, which was, it's just too late. You can't stop it by that point. You don't think that's what they're going to do. But she had a great time. Everyone showed up. It was so sweet to have our whole community there because I feel like we have, like, a night we have kind of two groups. I was like, my burn girls and my church girls. And it was just so. I felt so bad. I literally got home. I was like, Matt, I feel so bad. I never mingled with the other side. I didn't get up from the chair because also Matt put me on sitting rest. He literally was like, you need to sit more. And so I was like, I will sit Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So I literally sat at the entire party. Yeah. I did too. I talked to family, which was fun. I talked to your sister and your dad. I mean, I don't get to see him all the time. So it's so fun. I know. It was a great party. I, I pro big birthday party for your first kid, for their first birthday. Just your first kid. Well, I just think something with your second and third kids who just naturally aren't going to. But I think for the first birthday for your first kid, it's like, this is for the parents. Like, and I think that's good. Yeah. You should know that because that's a hard first year of transitioning into parenthood. It's so exciting. I also think everyone should have your own personal balloon girl, your friends with. I saw her day at the coffee shop. Yeah, she said that. I, um, the cupcakes were so good to me. You're from many, many of our friends. She's just the best. So good. I still have a couple at home. Oh, I should have brought them. Yeah, no, it was a great, it was a great day to spend with everyone having my family there. So cute. Blake spent just everyone. It was so sweet to have everyone. You just a little chunky one. She's just kidding. This week, she's been like talking. She's not saying real words, but she is just, that's the best. - It's the best. - Target everything, everything. - And giving really big hugs. - Aww. - I said that on the podcast when I was, but when you weren't here, Abby, and that that was the most thing that surprised me is-- - No, I listened to the podcast. - You did! - You did! - I still have 30 minutes left. - Oh, that's so nice. - Of course I'm listening to it! - Oh, my God! - I'm just making my way. - I'm making my way. - I'm making my way. - No, I was so proud of you guys. - I texted you and no one responded. - Yeah, I don't know why I didn't respond. I think I was like, "Oh, that's so sweet." And then I just moved on. - I think it was embarrassed. So I just never respond to text you guys unless-- - I know! - I'm sorry. - What the heck? - Thanks. - Thank you for saying how good it is. - I'll keep my compliments myself. - No, I'm so really pleased. (laughing) - I'm just teasing. The only reason I noticed that you didn't respond is I was like, "I need to text them." Then I went back and I was like, "I already texted them." (laughing) - Did it on the guy? (laughing) That shows you my prime example of if it's a work text related to work things, I will respond. - Yeah. - Because I know I am so fast and I think it's personal. - Nah. - That's all right. - I appreciate the encouragement when you sent it and I thought, "Oh, that's sweet." - That she sent that. - That's the only reason why I said it. I didn't say for, "Thank you." - I say for it. And I actually went back and saw it again when you sent the bedding text and then I was like, "Oh my gosh, that was sweet that she sent that." And I was like, "Let me go and watch your message right now." Oh my gosh, I like it. - Yeah, just scroll up, scroll up, so funny. - You've been rewatching movies, you've listened to our podcast and you're rewatching movies? - Well, I'm showing the, we're adjusting and I'm like, I feel like by the end of the day, I'm like, "What can we do that we are all seated "and not making any more of a mess?" Because the thing that's really hard is nerd is I'm calling a movie trapped. It's what we are. - Oh yeah. - And my other two kids are just like, they're running 'em up. They are running a muck and it is scary. - That was so dirty for a moment. - Terrifying when it gets quiet. - Yeah, I did. - I'm like, "What has happened?" And so at the end of the day, I'm like, we need to wrangle and what's the best way of running? Watching a movie and my kids love movies and what kid doesn't, honestly. But I've been like a little selfish about it because I'm like, I wanna watch something that I wanna watch too, a little bit. Like I'm kinda over the end of the movie. - Yeah, for sure. - And so I was like literally looking online. I was like, "What are Toddler friendly live action movies?" Now, you're gonna say, "Hey, you should watch "The Disney Live Action Movies." You're right, you're right. But I wanted to watch the ones that were nostalgic for me. And so I was looking for that list. So I showed them, we watched Monkey Trouble, which you guys never watched that movie. - I've never heard of it. - This is never really a niche. It's not like, I loved it. I would actually habitually rent this from Blockbuster as a kid. That one was not too bad. The guy was like an alcoholic. And I mean, that was a little bit like. - Over their heads, I'm sure. - I hope, yeah. I was like, don't ask questions about that. - They started playing drunk. (laughs) - Yeah, like his little thing. But then, I think they started like, maybe like, maybe you shut up or stupid or something like that. Oh, here's what you don't wanna watch. Oh no, wait, they may watch the night of the museum. Not too bad. Couple of stupid, couple of shut up. Were they into that? They were watching, yeah, that's so true. - They loved. - And I literally said to Matt, when you were watching it, I said, why do I feel like you're one of those boys in school that would just say that just like a tick at school? And he's like, I was. I was like, I'm really glad we met when we did, 'cause those boys annoyed me. Remember when everyone would say that from my museum? - Dumb, dumb, give me a go. I was like, oh my gosh. No, I'm older. - You're so much older at this. (laughs) And then, then, this is what you do not want to show your children, guys, I'm so serious. Doctor, do a little. Don't do it, don't do it. I watched that so much as a kid and I was like, I want to show the kids, my kids will love animals. You guys would not believe that SHIT word. - Oh, no, they literally said that. They said, can I even say on this podcast? - Pussy. - Oh shoot. They said, sex, joke that was overt, that definitely went over their heads, but the dog is like, do you want tips on positions like the mom and dad are like in bed, like talking about it and these tips on positions. - Oh my gosh, they said, shut up all the time, stupid so many times. Like, they said, damn, they said, like all, I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, I was like, pull. And so our response has always been like, don't draw attention to it because then they, that happened because you guys monsters ink, they say, shut up. Those two little monsters go, shut up. And so then they started saying that. And then I said, where did you hear that? And then they told me monsters ink and then they were right. And then I heard them say, stupid. And that is one that we cannot get out of there. Like, it just happens. - Yeah. - It's from Zootopia. - Dang. - Stupid bunny is that what you call it? Is that what you call it? - That she says dumb bunny. - Dumb bunny. - And another part, Griffin can quote it, word for word, the sentence in which she said it. And I typed it in in my Google and I was like, by golly, he's right. - Wow. - Word for word. So I'm, and now we're in that place. And my mom was like, why are you saying, like 'cause my mom will say stupid, and I'm like, look, more, sorry. Caleb will say shut up. He does say, yeah. And I'm like, you kinda knocked that off. You gotta knock that off. I can't be saying that 'cause CJ can't be saying shut up. - CJ would lock in on that. - For sure. - For sure. - He could have done it before. - He's locked on a poopy and I'm sick of it. (laughing) - No, they know that they can say, or not that they can say it. They also said stupid in the Paw Patrol movie. And they quoted all the time. - Dang. - CJ hasn't picked up on stuff like that. - Thankfully. But that's a good PSA. Maybe we put a little disclaimer before this. We can move this to the front, but we are gonna talk about a movie and there will be cuss words. - Cuss words, just like stupid and shut up. - Yeah. - And some other ones. - Put this camera in a bowl, does an adult? I actually love it as an adult. - Yeah, I've seen all of them. That's why I was trying to migrate to some older ones. Last time, we were like, we could watch bedtime stories. I was like, no, we're done. (laughing) - Did you guys watch Flubber growing up? - We almost watched that one. - I don't remember it. - Oh, I don't remember it. Did you guys watch that? - I don't remember anything about it. - I just remember the green slime going down everywhere. - And then Inspector Gadget. - Oh yeah, that would be a safe one for him. - Yeah, you think. - They used to show that on Disney Channel. - I had the second one on DVD. You know the videos that you have stuck in your car, man, you man? That was Inspector Gadget too. - I love that one, the Bob of Them. Anyway, so just be really careful with Dr. Doolittle, it was made in 1994. What have you guys been watching recently? - No, not at the museum. - I have not watched anything for children, actually. There was this show called The Hawk. Did you watch it? - No, we haven't watched it. - We go to bed when our kids go to bed. - Okay, this is a great show. It is explicit, like there's a lot of language in it, but-- - Sorry, I got a way to language. - Yeah, you can't watch it with kids around. It's hilarious, it's Will Ferrell. - Jimmy Taitro, if you remember him, he used to do a bunch of, he was a big YouTube comedian back in the day, but he's in it. It's a great cast, but it feels like old Will Ferrell humor and killed, and I just laughed away through the show. I was not expecting, from the preview of it, I didn't think it was gonna be good at all, but we were very engaged in the story. - You guys love Will Ferrell. - I know, but I feel like his recent stuff hasn't been as funny. This felt really funny. We were cracking up. So that was been really fun to watch. We're watching the Ted Lasso again. - How many episodes are there? - Eight. - Okay, yeah, and they're all 30 minutes. And I watched The Little House in the Prairie. - I don't know if that I've ever watched that. - Oh my gosh, you're so good. - I wanna see that. - That's my Roman Empire actually is the Oregon Trail, a little different than The Little House in the Prairie, but it's similar vibes, traveling by wagon. - Yeah. - Living off the land. - Perfect. - Saying goodbye to your family to never see them again. - With no post office, I'm like, oh, what? - Yeah, it's pretty crazy stuff. So I really enjoyed it. - It was a great show, well done. - Okay, I'm excited to watch that. - Yeah, I think they did a good job of showcasing Native Americans and, like, not the pilgrims, what do they call? - I mean, you can say that. - Yeah, the pioneers. - Pioneers. - And just showing both sides of why the Native Americans would be upset and why the pioneers would do what they're doing. Like, I feel like it was like, they did a really good job of blending it. - That's scary. - It was so interesting. Maybe I want to look into more Native American history. - Good. - I know. Yeah, I was like, wow, this is fascinating. - And Arizona, there's a ton. - Yeah, I know. - He did tell me the other day. He's like, post part, and we should, I had this list of shows I was going to watch with part of him. - I think with your first McElist. - Yeah, you don't have time for that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - That was a pipe dream. But, and I was like, we could watch friends. - Yeah. - I was surprised that he suggested that. It's not happening. I'm still having to watch friends. - Give it a couple more weeks when things settle down. - I don't, I don't know. I don't ever normally watch TV though. - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - Okay, what's crazy happening? - Well, just crazy. - Well, that's crazy. - That crazy. - How do you educate us? - Chick-fil-A, has chicken and waffles. - Oh. - Am I breaking this news? - I have no idea. - Yum. - Yeah. - Did you try it? - No. - Are they chicken waffle minis? - I don't know, let me show you a picture. - I feel like they don't add to their menu very much. - I know, it's probably just a seasonal thing. - Oh. - That's kind of fun. - Me? - Wow, how appropriate. - Yeah, I'm actually surprised it took him this long. - That's something. - That's August 24th, so they're there. - I know, they're sandwiches. - Oh, sandwich in between a waffle? - Oh. - Oh. - Look at the bacon. - Oh. - Mm. - Oh. - Fisher wants one too. - He would, man. - With bacon on it, the bacon really sets that up. - Ooh. - That's. - That's crazy. - That's crazy. - That looks delightful. - I want to try it. - I want to try that. - I will try it. - Their coffee's so good. - If you had chick-fil-A. - I had a bad room. Turn me off - He had way too much vanilla in it. - Oh, and I'm, you like it sweet. - They do. - They're soft service unbelievable. - Best flavored vanilla soft serve ever. - They do have good soft serve as well. - At this strong vanilla flavor. - A strong vanilla flavor. - Abby hates vanilla bean. - It's very aggressive. - No, I love vanilla bean. I just didn't understand why our brother-in-law kept saying, "I'm just gonna get vanilla. Everyone likes it." It's like, "No." - Yeah, they do, everyone. - I know, but no one gets wants to eat a bowl of vanilla ice cream. - We weren't, he made brownies. (laughing) - That time, I-- (laughing) - They'll be having it on this, they get stuck on this. - Yeah, ice cream. - We are fixated. We're fixated on this story for Josh. - Gotta let it go, let it go. - He never defends himself. - Josh, fight him back. - It's so sweet. He's just like, "Oh, it's all right." - Okay, I also have dance to the stars. - He's like, "I like it." - Yeah, I know he does. - Whitney Carson, who has been a pro for a really long time, is coming back on this season of Dance with the Stars. She won last season. With Robert Irwin. And she's pregnant. She's in her second trimester. - What? - Oh my gosh. - If she lasts very long, which she's very talented, she could be dancing into her third trimester. - Whoa, that's so impressive. - Who's her partner? - It is, 'cause I feel like that's what determines if he lasts. - I don't think they're gonna last super long, but he is kind of, people like him, so. - I never understand the balance on Dance with the Stars of like, it's the audience or the judges. - Is it 50/50? - Yes, I think it's a mix of both. But the issue that people have with the audience voting throughout the-- - It's not really about their dancing. - Is it about how much they progressed from where they started? - Oh. - They need to define it. - Or is it about who's was the best dance? Because like, you're gonna have these older people who are gonna have the best dance. - You know, they're not gonna have the best dance, but they may have grown a lot, and they're still. - Yeah, I think the winner should be the best dancer of the mall, personally. - I thought Alex Earl got gyped. - Oh, she did. - I thought when he'd love to go gyped. I thought her hair was great, but they just had a hard season. They had a lot of good dancers out there. - They did. - A lot of good dancers out season. Oh, are you gonna watch Alex Earl's reality TV show? - Yeah, I think I'm going to too. - I probably will. - House of Earl. - But because I wanna-- - It's like her family? - Yeah. - Ooh, that's all in it. - Alex Cooper's definitely down to, and so I wanna see them. - I know, they did a good job teasing that out. - I know what this is, because you even showed up. - Did you hear about the Alex and Alex drama? This was a while ago. - No, I saw it, and SNL skit about it. - Whoa, are you kidding? That's crazy. - That's all I saw off. - And SNL skit about the Alex and Alex drama? - I am pretty sure, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's crazy. - Wow. - Guillermo, real good. - They got this. - I don't know what the drama was about. - No one knows. - Oh, okay. - That's what the drama's about. - I think that's what the teasing got. - Yeah. - That's what the sketch was. - It's because they don't, they have addressed it. - Yeah. - Neither of them have actually addressed it. - So it might be fake. - I don't think it's fake. - I just don't think anyone has said anything, like what actually happened. But Whitney's partner is Guillermo Rodriguez. - He's not from Jimmy Fallon. - Yes, Jimmy Fallon. - Jimmy Kimmel. - Jimmy Kimmel. - It's Jimmy Kimmel. - Yeah, yeah. - That's fun. - The Jimmy's. - Like his sidekick. - He's also hilarious. - Yeah. - Oh my gosh, that's a fun partner. - He's a little older. - Yeah, so I don't think he'll be on there super, super long. - Hey, represent the pregnant lady. - That's what I was like. - Yeah, that's gonna be cool. It's gonna be different because you know, they put all those women in those tiny little outfits. - She'll look belly out, baby. - She will look amazing. - She will. - Yeah, she will. - She has two boys, huh? - Yeah. - And so does she know what she's having? - They're having an ounce together. - Yeah. - That's exciting. - That's so fun. 'Cause I actually remember in the Barbie movie, I remember they kind of made fun of pregnant Barbie the whole time. And we were both so pregnant. We're like, she represent doing stuff, getting out there with the bump, man. - She just posted, oh, sorry. She just posted it like what you guys saw versus like the reality of her first trimester. 'Cause she was doing all these appearances and different things. And she went, and then she's like dying. - Throwing up and then throwing up. - Throwing up afternoon in the morning and so forth. - I love that there's this shift in culture where women can now be athletic and do activity while they're pregnant, like with our moms. - They were misled by the doctor. - Well, so not mis unintentionally misled. - Yeah, they wasn't malicious, but they were just told not to be active and not to do a lot of things. - My grandma still gets very concerned about me working with her pregnant. - My grandma to see, she's like, are you supposed to be doing that? I'm like, yes, ma'am. - That would be hard to rewrite in your brain, though. If you had like multiple kids and your doctor is literally telling you not to do. - Yeah, it's her medical advice. That would be hard to go back on. I just saw this video of this. She's an Olympian runner, I'm pretty sure. She hit her due date. - I think about that video all the time. - She ran a sub six minute mile. - Yeah, I think about that video all the time. Someone commented, my favorite comment. So what's your mile time, not nine minutes pregnant or nine months pregnant? Is that not so amazing? - I think about that all the time. - I know. - 'Cause I'm like, I can barely jog at the minute. - I was like, at burn, just like, (laughing) - Yeah, just all the time. That is insane. I think my quickest mile time is barely under eight minutes. When I'm not pregnant. Oh, no, I don't run any minute mile. If you were to sprint one minute-- - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could but so impressive. I was just in love with that. So that's really cool. Go Whitney. - That would be really cool for you. - Rocket. Have you guys seen all the, we have so much to catch up on? I just am thinking nonstop. This is another Roman Empire. The fact that the internet hates polyester right now. - I didn't know that anyone was ever a fan of polyester. - Well, this is so interesting to me. I kind of like polyester sometimes. - Okay. - But I feel like there's a time and a place. And every time I see one of these videos where these girls are like, it's just a talking head video and they'll pop up. And it's like, just, I don't know. Just landering a brand or something and say, this is a hundred percent polyester. It is not worth the money. And sometimes that's true. I like a hundred, I agree sometimes, but sometimes I think that their information is not also correct. I think there's a time and a place for polyester. And I also think the purpose behind not wanting polyester makes a big difference. - Okay. - Plastic. - 'Cause I think some polyester is, it should be priced expensively. Like there are different grades of polyester. And a lot of what I see online, they're like, we're not gonna pay $70 for plastic. I'm like, but there are different grades of polyester. The polyester that you're getting at sheen is not the same polyester, you're getting a little limited. - Really? - Oh, definitely not. - Oh, this is why you like polyester. - Well, no, just a little bit. - It's actually a little limited. - I mean, even designer brands will have a polyester sometimes. And that's just a totally different construction than what you're gonna get at a fast fashion place. And so sometimes I see these things and I get, I'm like, well, I get your point, but I also know. The argument that I'm like, yes, that's always a hundred percent right, is that polyester is never good for the environment. But to automatically say that cotton is good for the environment, to produce cotton takes so much water and so, so much wastewater, they have to die of the cotton. It's just, it's bad in a different way. And so sometimes I'm like, I understand that polyester never degrades and all that, but I don't know, just some of these things. I'm like, I just don't think that's always like the whole story. And so when I see these videos, I'm like, uh, can I tell you something? You're kind of caught up in the fan. - I don't know that I know what my clothes are made out of. - Really? - Me either. - I do, listen, I don't buy things that are a hundred percent polyester. Anyways. But I love a poly blend. So do you look at a tag before you buy it? - I usually always do, yeah. And when I had bowl, I was really strict about the quality. I never bought something that was a hundred percent right on. I, and I would only buy poly blends for the most part. But sometimes like polyester, adding a little bit of polyester to a cotton shirt keeps your collar from getting stretched out. Like there's a purpose. I don't know, I just sometimes laugh when I see these videos and like how much the internet hates polyester. I'm like, listen, I don't want to live in a world without it, to be honest. - Need a little bit of that. - We get a little bit of polyester. - I ask Google to tell me a little bit about this. About what? - It's durable. - What about the internet is hating about polyester, right? - Yeah. - Tell me about it. - It's saying, so the polyester is now a dirty word. - I know. - New slang, Gen Z creators use polyester as an insult for people who think or things that seem inauthentic cheap or trying too hard. - Right, it's not always cheap. Yeah, this says, they've turned the classic fabric into a viral symbol for cheap fake and low quality products. - Which also I think is silly because you're not only paying for the garment when you're buying a piece of clothing. You're also paying for the labor and some brands are paying their employees a better wage. You're also paying for all the parts of that supply chain. So you're not just paying for the fabric. And I understand I want to wear cotton and linens and natural fibers. - I'm afraid they're gone because of, I might mess it up. - Cotton? - Why? - Yeah, I can probably shrink that. - Yeah, I mean, there's different reasons. Not everyone can afford a 100% silk skirt. So they're gonna get a polyester skirt to get the look of silk. Like I just feel like to fully ride it off. It's kind of an elitism mentality to be honest. A little bit. It is. I had no idea the debate about polyester. - It's really hot right now online. I might thoughts about it. I could talk about it probably way longer than anyone cares to hear about it. That's good to know. - Yeah. - And you know what, I'm starting to realize I probably have a lot of polyester in my wardrobe. - Yeah, and I think if it's a well-made, well-constructed polyester garment, you're not gonna just immediately throw it away every time. If you're getting all your stuff from sheen or H&M for every 21, obviously those are not gonna be well-made things. But also cotton has degrees of quality. Like you can go to Walmart. I have a $5, 100% cotton tee from Walmart. All stretched out, misshapen, not good, but then 100% from twins is different. So there's degrees with all fabrics. So just to automatically write something out the door. I also do not want to go the gym in a cotton outfit. I just don't. There's a time in a place for polyester. I'll stand on that. I don't even know which ones are which. I'm so out of that world. Would you work out in that shirt that you're wearing right now? No, I just looked at 100% cotton. Okay, right. It's too thick. Exactly. I don't know any of the other things. You're gonna be drowning. But then they're gonna be stopping wet. Yeah. So I don't know. I just think it's funny. It's an interesting debate and I just think it's a trend. I think it's funny that it's turning slaying. Yeah. A thing. People are heated about it in the fashion world. But I just I'm like I get it. I don't like bad quality stuff and I understand. But sometimes I'm like ladies. There's a time in a place. You know? Yeah, I mean all those Amazon clothing probably have a bunch of polyester. Yes. Well I don't see I don't buy Amazon clothing anyway. Like I just feel like maybe I think the trend is good and that it's leaning people to be wanting to be more sustainable and they're close. Wanting to buy things a little bit more intentionally that are made of better quality fabrics and that are better quality. I think that is a great that's a great outcome of this discussion online. But just to like brandish a whole fabric as bad because they think it's you know plastic I think is a little silly. Because I think there is a time in a place for everything but you can get good quality polyester and a well-constructed garment that's made out of a fabric that's not cotton. You know? Yeah. And also not everyone can afford natural fibers. They're expensive. So you know thanks for educating me on this topic. You're welcome. It's a hot debate. If you have more thoughts about it later I love to talk about more. Yeah. I love talking about it. Thank you to Flamingo for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Breaking news. I can now bend over. There is no longer a huge bump that is getting in my way you guys. I therefore now have no excuses as to why my legs should not be smooth, silky, luxurious and that's exactly what they are. 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But Flamingo gives me an extra day or two. I promise between shavings and they're still smooth. That's coming from a not a scientist. That's coming from a girl with hairy legs that just doesn't want to spend all my time shaving. For a limited time, our listeners can get Flamingo's starter set for only $7 at shopflamingo.com/abby. This set includes a Flamingo original razor, one five leg cartridge, a one ounce foaming shave gel, and a shower holder. Just head to shopflamingo.com/abby to claim this offer. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please, please, please support our show and tell them that always here sent you. Well, this episode we are talking about post-partum. So sorry to drag post-partum back into the conversation. Why? Because I feel like you just got out the other, both of you I just got out the other side. That means it's fresh. I can talk about it again. It's coming up again. I love a refresh. There's a lot of things that you would not expect about post-partum. And you know what? I'm continuously surprised by the things that happen. And also, every experience is different and also I've noticed some different changes hitting me harder and less hard as I've had consecutive like pregnancies. Anyway, so what we did also ask you guys because we love hearing from you about things that you did not expect post-partum on the always here podcast Instagram. And you guys really showed up. So some of these are so relatable. JCB says how swollen I was down there and not being able to sit stand or lay down without being in pain. Yeah. That one's a hard to mentally perfect that one. Mine only less like a day or two though. And then I was fine. Like I feel like by day two I was able to sit and get up. But you didn't really tear very much. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't. I had a first degree with maybe but with both of them, I was more. But you didn't have any stitches, huh? No. So then how do you even, what did they just let it heal? Okay, then that is so crazy. I know. No, we suddenly have some stitches. Definitely painful for me. That was one thing I did not expect is how painful it would be. But I also had hemorrhoids. That's one thing I didn't know about. And I had a secondary tear. And I'm pretty positive. I broke my tailbone. So, you know, oh, thanks. But I do relate to the pain. Like I can feel my tailbone right now. Yeah. That's crazy. Leah said how much more aware I was of when I was ovulating. Yes. Oh my gosh. Yes. You can feel it. I'm aware you saying that? And our friend Ashley talking about it after I thought those people were lying. Same. I said, there's no way. I was really at the gym the first time I felt it was like, what the? Yeah. It feels, you guys, it feels exactly like you would think would feel a cramp on one side. Just like an egg getting shot out out of there. It is crazy. I really, the first time I felt it I was like, oh, that's that is. And that's how I learned it's only one side. Yeah, I felt it on my right side. My mind was on the left. I'll never forget it. It's switching my memory. Because it's such a weird feeling. And when especially when you've never felt it before, but your body has done it so many times before. But then why do you just feel it all the sudden after having a baby? I don't know. I don't feel it now. I haven't noticed it as much, but I have it just the first time. Maybe the first couple times. I don't know. Yeah. So interesting. Yeah. I didn't feel it every time. Yeah. Elizabeth says, having anxiety around 9 p.m. every night, a nighttime scary girl. Emma Heinbaw said, I wouldn't expect to stink so bad. The smells are something to be studied. Meagan says I really thought I could escape hemorrhoids. Was not prepared for that in the least. I will be prepared this time. Wait, you got in tune. You're pregnant, huh? Yeah, I think I think I did, but I didn't know it. Like I didn't know what they were. And then I was like hurt. And I think I once I realized what they were. I was like, yeah, I truly have that. I had a really distinct one when I was pregnant. That was first and last I've ever had. And I was like, shoot, I'm embarrassed about this. I remember going to the doctor because I were not like I was at my follow up appointment. Like the six week appointment. I was like, hey, I don't really know if I have these, but you just let me know. Yeah, six weeks later, you still had them. Yeah. Whoa, Adi, that's insane. Yeah. What hemorrhoids are embarrassing because it's like, guy, I have this a massive lump around my thumb. Yeah, I'm like, check my stitches, but could you also check my butt? It's like so humiliating. So what do you do to get rid of them? Yeah. Did it help? I think so. I went away eventually, huh? I went away eventually. Yeah. She doesn't want to talk about it. I should be more embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed of them at all. I educate people on them. I don't know how to deal with them. Take bags. I don't know. I don't know what to do about them. They happen. Maybe a lot of people don't push this hard and maybe they won't come. No, you never know. When you get the epidural, you have no idea. You're just like, I might break the bones in my face, but I hope things are moving down there. Laura said waking up in a puddle of milk. How about waking up in a puddle of sweat? Yeah. What to me is just, it is just jarring. Oh, well, this one's so real. Caitlyn said, the sight of my boobs being milked by a machine just never got old. With my first job, I was like, I was like, Matt, I brought your eyes. It's humiliating. See, even though they can move like that, and then they're where they look afterwards. They come out and they're stuck. There was a video in time. It must have been with Augie. After Augie, where you were pumping. We were about to post it, and Matt's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, can you review that to make sure I have these boobs aren't in it? It doesn't look like it. Yep, that's what that is. We gotta cut that. Laura, that baby out. That's before you never pumped, too. Yeah, I probably was like, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Anna Gray said, postpartum rage instead of pregnancy rage. Oh, I could write a book on that. Micah Croson says, the never ending hunger and thirst due to breastfeeding, my stomach was a bottomless pit. Yeah, yeah, that's going to get me in trouble right quick. It's so funny. I remember Vivi just being up at three in the morning and me going to the pantry and I'm like, I need a meal. It was the middle of the night, staying in potatoes. Yeah, there's no fasting. Your stomach doesn't not want breast. Brooks said, full loss of control over the potty for the first day or two. I didn't expect. Let me tell you, ladies, I wish. Don't have that until your third. I'm not even kidding, because I was talking to some of my friends. I have three kids. I'm like, I never experienced them like this. I, for the first week and a half, I was wearing pads just as much for pee as I was for both. Really? No control over my bladder. Wow. Didn't have that at all the first two times. So I was talking to my friends. I had three. I was like, okay, what happened? And she was like, yes, if I do. I do not, if I would wake up to nurse in the night and I didn't go before, I would be sitting there and my own peak. Wow, it just comes out, like you can't hold it in. - I couldn't, like as soon as I had to go, it was coming. And I was like, man, I'm really worried that this is not gonna go away. It went away, thank goodness. I mean, I'm not gonna, I haven't jumped. - Right. - I haven't run, but I didn't have that before. I was like, man, is this incontinence? - I literally cannot. - Yeah. - Like I couldn't hold it at all. I felt like my kids, I honestly gave me a lot of empathy for them. I was like, when they said they gotta go, they gotta go because it's gonna come out otherwise. - I'm here like, I do need to be potty trained. - I do think that, that was something I did not have. - Yeah, I never had that. - That's good to know. - I think I would stand up and I'd be like, oh my gosh. - Not a little bit, like all of it. - No, a little bit. - It wasn't a little bit, no. I never did that, but one of her. Yeah, I know someone else said that. - It can happen to him. - All of it. - Both, both. - No. - Yeah. - Oh, oh, you mean pee and poop. - Oh, I laughed, I didn't really know what you meant. Oh my gosh. - It's not funny. - Yeah, that's actually really scary. - Insan, yeah. - It'll get better. - Okay, sorry, I didn't need to laugh at that. I was just laughing so that you're making a joke, but it'll get better. - I don't think it's a joke. - It's not a joke, it was fully frustrated. - Sorry, that was an inappropriate response. (laughing) - The Maggie bear, sorry, Maggie said, "How quickly?" - Yeah. (laughing) Maggie said, "How quickly I went to get out of the house "being in the house was making me depressed." - Dep, dep. - It's sure for depression. - I didn't really. - Yeah, you'd be a good guy. - We got to get out of the house, you got to do. - Kelsey says all the crying, yeah. - Hey, you know what, I actually only cry like, maybe five times this time. - How many days postpartum are you? - Day two, I cried once. - Yeah. - Day, I don't think I cried very much. It was just randomly, and I was like, tears of joy the rest of the time. - Yeah, I was really teary both times with the other two. - Yeah, good. - Just head normal. - And they were like sad tears. These were happy tears, and I didn't really feel the same. - I feel like I cried a little bit almost every day for the first two weeks after. - Just about little things. - It just randomly hits, yeah. - Yeah, and that's normal. - The hormones. Claire says that I would trust absolutely no one. Ha-ha, very paranoid that everyone was against me. - Oh, that one's sad. - When anxiety comes in, it does happen. It's Kia said, "Don't expect the umbilical cord "to fall off so fast." - No, she didn't expect it too. - Watch your dog, 'cause they might eat it, okay? - It kind of takes a while for the umbilical cord to come off. - They said two weeks, you dog might eat it. - It's been a long time. - Yeah, it's on there for a while. - She did, she was on there so long, 'cause they left it really long. Remember how long is the umbilical cord? - Well, that doesn't mean that that's not why it stayed on. - No, it took a long time to dry up. - Oh. - It took a really long time. - It was like super tiny. - I know that my doctor kept calling it his tree trunk. I was like, "Well, you don't have to keep calling it that." - That's gonna be the pulpirate. - He was like, "Man, that tree trunk." I was like, "Yes, is this not normal?" He's like, "First." He said, "No, this is the longest he'd ever seen." And then our dog ate it. - Okay. (laughing) - Oh, this one's so real. Hearing the baby cry while showering, even though the baby was not crying. - I had some cries. - Oh my gosh. - This is so bad. - I'm hearing phantom cries now. Like when Braille's not even at my home. - Oh. - Yeah. - Like, she spends a night at my mom's house every Friday and I'm like, "I swear I wake up hearing her crying." I'm like, "She's not here." (laughing) - She's not here. - Get it out of your head. - Chloe said, "Intrusive thoughts about thinking I was gonna drop my baby down the stairs." I had a lot of scary intrusive thoughts about me harbing my baby. Not that I was going to harm my baby, but like, what if I drop, see you right now? What if I, I kept thinking that I'd leave him in the car if I didn't have him in my side? Like, I had a lot of intrusive thoughts like that. I don't just want him to keep him safe. - He was so quiet. Yeah. - So, that's normal. - Mikaela said, "Struggling to bond at first." - Takes time sometimes. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, yeah. - What are some things that you didn't expect? I'm curious. - I had never, okay, so I would always get like the contractions afterwards. Like, whenever you nurse, you know, you'd sometimes get them. I got them way worse this time. - So bad. - Like, my uterus was ready to clamp back down whatever it was doing. - Yeah. - It was really, like, it hurt way more than nursing this time. - Yes. - And it was really outgie and very consistent. And I remember being like, can we, 'cause they still put you on Potosan? Well, they put me on Potosan afterwards, which is really, really common to get your uterus to contract back down. And I was like, can you stop that? And they're like, it's not on. - Oh my gosh. - 'Cause I can feel it when it was on. And then I thought that's what it was, but it was from just like nursing. And I was like, oh my gosh. - Yeah. - That was uncomfortable. - It hurts really bad. - Yeah. - It's a subsequent process. - And you're like, I thought we were done with this. - Uh-huh. - We did that. - I know. - That's done. And then you still are dealing with that. It's kind of frustrating. - Yeah, I remember the whole first week home. Maybe we could have home. It was uncomfortable. Like, really crampy. - Yeah. - That first two weeks of nursing your toes just curl over time. - Yeah. - The lead down, everything. Everything's just a little uncomfortable that first week. - I was, this was, nursing has been way less painful this time. - A good. - Yeah. - Good. - Honestly, could just be from like having done it before, but also, I think your baby, the latch they have makes a huge difference. - Yeah. - It totally does. - 'Cause they're like clamped on there. Everyone's like, he does bite. - Yeah. - Yeah, with his gun. - With no teeth. And I'm like, wow. That might be interesting. - No, chill. - If he gets teeth as early as a mother wants. - Oh, maybe he's gonna do that. I could feel like flick. And I was like, I don't like that. - It's like what he's done. - He's just got a little. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yes. - Why? - Wow, this is so interesting. - Neither of them did that. - Sorry. - I remember being really surprised after having a C section that I still blood as long as I did. - Oh, I didn't bleed that much after my C section. - I blood a lot after my C section. - Really? - Yeah. - Fully dead. And my doctor was like, yeah, it's normal. Because you still have to flush everything out. - Yeah, I guess I remember googling that. When I knew I was gonna have a C section, I was like, wait, do I get to bypass that? - Yeah. - No. - No. - I was really, I was very not expecting that. You don't get to. - No, you don't. - Addy, your tailbone? - My tailbone. I didn't expect to swell after birth. Like I expected for my feet and stuff to swell before, like while I was pregnant. But it was actually after having my baby is when I started, like my legs got really swollen and my feet got swollen. I was like, oh, that's what that looks like. Cause then before I was like, maybe they're a little swollen. And then after I was like, oh, that's what swelling looks like. - So I didn't really expect that. I guess just all the, what your body just gone through a lot? Like, is that what? - I don't want fluids in you when you're get birth. All the fluids in the medicine, just flushing. - Yeah. - It's way through. - This time I had a crazy aggressive symptom right after having fisher. I started shaking, which I feel like shaking can happen a lot when you get an epidural. I would get that like the epidural shakes. I didn't get it this time. I got it with Griffin. And then like I started, but it started to get so aggressive that I literally thought I was gonna chip my teeth. My job was, was working so hard I couldn't talk. Like they're trying to, they knew something was wrong with me. And also I did hemorrhage. So I think that they were like kinda eyeing me a little bit more. And I just at this point, I was like, I literally cannot talk. It was exhausting my body to shake like it was. And so then they, that's how they discovered that I had a really, I had spiked a really high fever. And coming to find out that fever was, I did not have any kind of infection. It was from adrenaline. - Yeah, that's crazy. - From adrenaline, from pumping out of 80. My body just went into total shock. And they did say that, I mean, it could probably happen 'cause the birth happened pretty fast. And like I didn't have a lot of time for like, there wasn't a lot of comb before it. Like he actually was there. Like, and then also like having gone through loss. Like I just feel like my body was just like, my body had protected me so much from like, everything surrounding birth and contractions and like, everything like that. And so then, like I think it was just like a total utter like, disbelief moment. And like, yeah, release, like relief. Extremely, and which is crazy. 'Cause at the time I wasn't very emotional. Like I mean, I was kind of emotional, but I wasn't like that much. But my body was like holding onto so much. And I literally spiked like a really high fever. And it was crazy. Like they immediately, they gave me like a ton of whatever, I see them in the fan. And then I was just like, (laughing) Finally, cutting real life days. I was like, so like, it was happening for a while. I was like, come on, please stop shaking. I told them I needed to bite something. 'Cause I was like, I'm going to chip my veneers. Yeah. What did I get? Did they do it for me after? Oh, my, I had such bad jaw and like neck pain. After birth from pushing in my head, they had to give me ice packs for around my face in my neck. Oh my goodness. Because I just was so like the adrenaline had, I don't know, after all of that, I was so sore and I was like, I literally like my head is going to explode. So I had to, yeah, I was like, this is all so nuts. This is nuts. I think the bodily reactions, you just never know how your body's going to react to adrenaline. It's always unexpected. I was like, I didn't like that at all. I didn't expect after part of our conversations, they were going to talk about like C-section verse, but something I didn't expect to post part of. I always expected sex to hurt after having a baby, but it hurt way more after my C-section than it did after vaginal birth. Way more after my C-section. I wouldn't say it hurt more for me, but I will say that I didn't expect it to hurt at all. And I was like, there was no attention down there. - Especially for me, like I didn't push, I didn't do, I just had a scheduled C section. So I thought that that would be, I would bypass that symptom. - I know. - That's such a good point. - No, it did really hurt, really bad. I felt like it hurt way more with the C section. - Really? - Yeah, and I had, I talked to some other friends too that had both and they agreed. - Really? - So maybe in a couple weeks, you can, maybe don't like, you can talk about it. - Well, you and I can talk about it. - I've already done both. - Yeah, that's true. Now with the fresh remembrance, I can talk about it. - That was great. (laughing) You get on, like, so last night. This is one where I'm like, really reminded that we have a male editor for this video, so. - Yes, I know. I love you, Randy. - Randy really loves me. - But he's, he's, he's very, he has three babies. - And a father. - She knows these things, he's seasoned. I had, oh, speaking of bleeding. This time around, like, a week and a half post-birth, I started experiencing a significant increase in my bleeding to the point where, but I was like, I'm taking you to urgent care. I was like, no, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. And then he's like Googling and he's like, Abby, you, he's like, you need to sit down. He'd call, he talks to my due love. And he's like, you need to stay put. And I was like, I feel okay. He's like, you're like, literally not okay. So then I vowed, that's why I sat for all the reasons. I was like, I will sit all of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. - Oh, that's why you're on rest. It significantly decreases the bleeding. So, yeah, that was like a weird thing though, 'cause it had started to let up. And so then I was like, I'm fine. And then I certainly was not fine. So just, yeah, it's not, you really need rest. - Your body's telling you, you need to sit down around. - Yeah, and so that was a surprise. That was serious. I was like, I thought we were on the mend here. And yeah, I think it was just not giving my body or the break that I needed. - Yeah. - What makes me think of, is it that people do like the 555 method of like five days in bed, five days around bed? And then I'm like, I'm like-- - That sounds like when I'm there. - My mental health would take. - Exactly, that's why I'm like, it seems. - But the right person, that's a great idea. - Yeah, I get it. - Yeah, I get it. And I think that sounds beautiful. It just doesn't sound very nice to me. - I got it, you gotta, you have to weigh both sides. - Yeah. - Right, the mental and the physical. If that's also gonna be the best for your mental health, do you love that? - Do it, do it. - Perfect, great combo. I think we earned that, I think we deserve that. I just don't know if I would like it. - Yeah, like what'd prefer it? - No, I don't think so for me. - Yeah. Anything else out of you didn't expect? - No, I don't really think of it. Just like with my tailbone and my hemorrhage issue was just like sitting down hurt. So then like standing up, I just would all like, well actually, you know what I didn't expect was like to change my routine every single day. Like yes, you're going off the baby but like just figuring out what worked for us the most. Like every single night we did something different. And I didn't really expect that. I thought to just be like, oh, this is what we're gonna do. So just being flexible. - I didn't expect to love it. (laughing) - Oh yeah. - I mean, honestly, we talk about it now and we're like, oh my gosh, these things are horrible or crazy or insane. But in the middle of it, you're just, oh my gosh. It is what, it is what it is. - Oh yeah. - You know, you're just doing it. And then hindsight, you look back and you think, whoa, that was nuts. But when you're in the middle of it, you just, it doesn't even bother you. At least it didn't mean, I was like, whatever. Yeah, I'm bleeding. Yeah, I stink, you know? But then you get to spend time with your baby and it's just the best ever. So even though it sucks, when you're in the middle of it, you don't really think about how bad it sucks. - Yeah, I have a question for you guys based on like kind of like that. - With your second, did you feel like it was easier to like enjoy all the little moments more because you like have experienced them before already and you're not as like stressed about what to do and say you're like, you get to soak everything in a little bit more. - 1,000 personally. I'm assuming that's gonna happen. So I was like, curious what. - Even you talk about your nighttime routine, I feel like that, not that you need to fall into any kind of routine. But like, you just are so much more, at least for me. I was so much more receptive to my baby and also like to what we need to do to make everything. Like, I don't know, it was easier to, I mean, we kind of have fallen into a routine that is based off of when he wakes up, but like it's still a routine and the less than that. It came really quickly and really seamlessly. - You've learned the baby math before and so now you're just falling back into the baby math again. - Yeah, I think the biggest difference for me with having like after my first is my anxiety levels decreased a lot. I was super anxious and I didn't even necessarily recognize it with our first, to the point where it's good to respond to your baby's cries. But it would cause both Matt and I so much anxiety that it was just like, okay, we're still doing the same thing but we're actually in our heads, like waging war. Like our child is going to die. Like we were like, it was just so heightened. And so now, like I think that it's actually a good thing that I'm so responsive to him, but still it doesn't cause that heart racing reaction. - Oh my God. - That's a lot of flight. - 'Cause I think the fact that both of us were like that. - Yeah, yeah, you were flying, you're both fighting and fighting the baby crying. You're like, you're flying to him. - Yeah, literally. - And also like, yeah. So there's just a different level of like calm and then, I don't know, I think now I can sort through what's a cause for concern and what's like, not a cause for concern. - I think that's the big difference. - Like I did not know the two. Everything was concerning. - Yeah, I was like, I'm scared. - But yeah, it's, you make such a good point though too. Like all of this stuff is just like talking about the difficulties of it. It's just like womanhood essentially. Like in my opinion, like it's like, okay, we can talk about this. We're all going to the same thing. - We can laugh about it. - It's not glamorous. Postpartum can feel extremely isolating. And I think that's something I didn't expect after the first, my first. I did not expect to feel, actually yeah, I should talk about this. This has happened every time, but like significantly more alarming with my first. Like, I remember I literally looked in the mirror and told him I was like, I don't know, recognize myself. I don't feel like myself. I don't think I'm going to want to do the same things I want to do ever again. And now I still felt that way. Like I looked in the mirror. I remember the first time, but make a bond after having, after having fish. I was like, that doesn't look like my face. - I know. - You feel like, I felt not nutrient dense. - Yeah. - And I think that was reflected in my face. I was like, I don't look like myself, but I was like, but I know that I will. - Yeah. - And I know that we're going to get back here. And so having that like, that checkpoint of like, okay, yeah, we felt this way. This is the same way we felt last time. And we got right back. Everything was fine. That was really good for me. Because I feel like I had like a minor identity crisis after every kid. - Yeah. - Exactly what I wanted and I was like, felt so much more purpose than I ever felt. I still felt like a little bit like disconnected from like, myself at my core, which is weird. But I think it was hormones. - Yeah, for sure. (laughing) - I love just saying hormones. - I know. - But it's a great one. - I know. - It was hormones. - Totally. - Yeah. - But it's so beautiful. Like honestly, like the whole time like, I just hope that everyone feels like after they have a baby. Like, your purpose is just, is for me. Like it was so deepened. My purpose for everything. - Yeah, it makes me being a woman, Phil. I feel so much deeper as a feminine. - As a feminine being. - Yeah, seriously. - And it's so bonding between other women. It's just something you have in common. You can talk about it. And it's just, yeah, you're like, that was crazy and amazing and gross and amazing. And I mean, crush that. - Scary and amazing, you know? Let's do it again. - Do it again. - Let's do it again. It's like a roller coaster. 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Right now Mayor Beauty's offering our listeners, their signature makeup bag, which if you've seen it, it's not just a makeup bag, but it really is an accessory. Free with your first order at meritbeauty.com. That's m-e-r-i-t-beauty.com, meritbeauty.com. How do you feel after your V-back? - Feel good. I felt really, really good and then I exhausted myself. - Right. - And then I felt like, I was like, oh man, there's no way around it. It's gonna be, it's gonna be tricky. - Yeah. But overall, like the mobility aspect, I don't know how what I'd be doing right now, if I, I mean, you'd make it work, you'd have to have help. I just don't understand what I would do otherwise. I know. Like, if you cannot lift something more than your newborn, how do you have other children? I don't know. You know what I mean? It's not that I'm like carrying them that much, but even him and his car seat, like you're not allowed to live that. You're not allowed to drive for two weeks. Yeah. That's, we had to take our kids to school and to, I had to take him to his pediatrician appointment. Yeah. And like, we had places to go. Like, I mean, I even just remember after having a C-section and they're like, "Hey, in two days, you're going to the pediatrician." I was like, "Mm-hmm. You're kidding me. How are we going to make it?" I don't know. I did drive. I think it was 10 days after my C-section. And I remember thinking, "Hi, I should not have drove." Really? Yeah. I remember thinking they were right for that rule. Like, I was so, because your core is so, everything's just pain. It's like sitting there in the car and with the turns and like, I just was not in a good place to be driving. And I felt discombobulated in my head too. Oh my gosh. Like, I was woozy and I don't know. I just thought, I remember getting home and being like, that actually wasn't safe. I don't think I drove for a mile. Yeah. I don't know why. I felt like that. But I did. It was just with me. That's what's so hard. Something that I felt after a C-section that I didn't feel after having a V-back was that organ dropping sensation. Really? I felt that with the V-back. I didn't feel that with him. But like, I just remember like standing up for the first time after a C-section. I was just like, and then every time I get out of bed in the night after a C-section, oh, I was like, this is such a horrible feeling. So then I got the belly binder and I never used it this time because I never had that feeling. Yeah. I did have that after my V-back. I did have that sensation. But just that first day, I remember standing up and needing help, standing up. Because I remember, I don't know what was that. Yeah, and I just, they have that big thing that you kind of lean on. I was very grateful for that. I feel like with a C-section, well, and maybe this is just my brain. When you're delivering your baby, you're pushing. So I'm like, maybe you're pushing your organs back down a little bit. There was movement. I don't know. I don't know. I was worried about my hernia when I was pushing. I was like, I don't want this to happen. Do you check on that? They're going to check it six weeks. Oh, good. Anyone that asks about hernia repairs, I always have a whole, we have a friend who's, who needs one. I'm like, let me set you down before you do anything. So many opinions on it. Yeah. So, didn't have that dropping experience. But I felt night and day different after my C-section versus my V-back. And I hate to say it to talk about it because I don't want people that are going to have a C-section to be discouraged. I had a positive C-section experience. So I can say it from that side too. Yeah. I felt just so much better than after my C-section. But I think obviously if you're not going under major surgery, you're going to have a different experience. But I kind of think after those first two weeks, you'll kind of level out. Oh, yeah, totally. And I actually, okay, we'll also just the physical aspect of like my body after having a C-section and a vaginal delivery is. So like C-section, this is something I did not expect. They create like a flap. That was something I didn't know. I thought they would just make it flat. There's just really no guarantee tummy tuck with a C-section. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. It literally just like it gets tucked like an apron. Yeah. Is what they call it. I have mine. It's like tucked like that. And so I remember just looking at and I was like, how is that ever going to look like it once did? Yeah. Like with the way that you just did that. And so now it's not like that after obviously not having been cut open there. And like that was something I did not. I can't even describe it, Adi. If you haven't seen it, the mom said no, no, no, yeah. It's not like it just gets like they just meet back together. Though it's like, it's got the flap. The flap. Yeah. I don't know how you mine out. It's a shell. It's a shell. I still have mine. And it fluctuates with my weight too. So it's just kind of like, you know, but when it's swollen post, like fresh post-section, you think it's never going to go away. It looks so crazy and you think it's never going to go away. And you're like, how did they do it like that? I feel like that could be an added level of like the like stress anxiety hormones of like postpartum of looking at yourself from the mirror. If you have, I couldn't look scar and like you're recovering from that. Let alone just are you having? Well, you had to dress the wound and stuff too. Especially I felt really angry about my c-section. And so I thought a lot of bitterness towards I would look at my scar and be like, like angry about it. And now I look at my sick, you know, whatever. But I feel like nothing towards it. I don't think about it at all. Also, I've worn really low-cut swimsuits since having a c-section. You still don't see it. No, they actually sit under the shelf and it looks seamless. I'm like, it's great. Yeah, actually, I like literally the bottoms usually hit right at the shelf. So it just looks. They're good at what they do. Let's just say that. They know that's something that you have to do. Like it's really not. No, it's not. It's a non-issue. It's a non-issue. Yeah, I would say just, yeah, there are different experiences, but there's just different different pros and cons. Different pros and cons. Like you're gonna it's gonna be hard. Either way, it's gonna be, especially like if you have any type of tearing or anything like it's gonna be uncomfortable post-birth. And that has surely happened. I think that's also why my experience was so different because I didn't have any stitches with after I might be back. So I had such like, it seemed I really didn't have much pain. Yeah. I mean, I had the normal pains, but nothing extra. So I was like, yeah. I was surprised that I was still in pain after. Yeah. Well, I was also way more scared to go number two after having a C-section because I was like, oh my god. You can't push. Yeah, like they wouldn't we do. And this time too, I had the same fear. Like I still took stool softeners. Like literally last night. I was scared. I think I did feel like a month. I did until I ran out of my bottle of mine. Well, mine's a megaball. So I shouldn't do that. I literally asked myself, can you please Google if this is bad to keep taking this? I don't think it is. You don't want to take laxatives. Right. I had to. I only took those at first. Because I was so scared to poop that I had to. They didn't work. So then I did other things. How did you beat the laxative? I was terrified to poop. It was such, it's like people who go on trips and never go to the bathroom because I only like to go on their like at home. And they don't really go on an international trip and come back seven days later and have never pooped. That's crazy to me. That hurt so bad. Yeah. It hurt. I was eating typhoon and I was trying to go afterwards and I could not. My belly hurt so bad. Oh sad. Yeah. I have a lot of poopy. I always get scared too after and then I do it. I'm like, oh, that didn't hurt at all. Because of the stool softeners. I also had the hemorrhoids such as that. Yeah. I heard it. It didn't hurt. Oh, a day. Mine didn't hurt. It's it hurted. Best feeding smooth. Yes. When go and smooth. He's a good eater. And that's yeah, it feels a lot more natural this time around. Yeah. I still have like a lot of milk, but I'm trying to do things now to like start like today. I nursed him without a hawka. Wow. That's good. Which is a big step for me. Yeah. I started that at two weeks. I was like, I will do one feeding a day without a hawka. And then the next feeding that I just did, there's just so many clogs. I can feel like I was like, you got it. Release that. Yeah. He did. He does a great job. I'm like, this is very impressive. Yeah. That was a thing to like decrease your milk supply. It's not easy to harvest. Yeah. It can increase it. Yeah. Because it does have a suction. Now you can just not suction it for that. Yeah. That hard. So like I'll sometimes just catch the initial let down and then just like keep it on really loosely or take it off. But yeah, it does create a set. It's kind of it's like a semi-wrestth pump. Yeah. I used it to try to keep my supply up because I don't oversupply or anything. So I used it for a while to keep my supply up. Did you use that like the typical hawka or have you seen the ladybug one? I just had the one, the original one from my first. I just keep these in that. But people really like the ladybug. Can you fit the the regular one in a bra? Absolutely not. No. I have to do that just seriously. I have a link to do that with the ladybug. She's kept kicking it off. And I'm like, I can just tuck it in my shirt. Smart. So then it doesn't really. I can't picture that. It's like a wearable pump. It looks like, but it's just little suction to same. Oh, it doesn't have as much room for it. How much can it get? Two to three ounces. That's good. That's a good amount. I think something that I was really pleasantly surprised with because I was really dreading nursing the second time around. I was like, oh, here we go again. And the minute she was born, it just so instinctually comes back and you're like, oh, this is great. I'm so glad she's doing it. Like I want to. It's fun. Yeah, it becomes fun again. And then when you get out of it, then you're like, oh, I don't want to do that again. But then you go back into it. You know, it's just like you're like, when you're in it, you get excited for it. And you're so grateful. And you think it is beautiful. You know, I'm so grateful with older kids that we have that we can do this because it's like I am it's flexible, but also I'm like, I am forced to sit down and snuggle you. Uh-huh. All throughout the day. Yeah. And only I can do that. And I think that I think that's really good to have because otherwise I could just keep moving. That's all day long. I felt the same way. I said, I'm so grateful that I'm forced to sit down and hold her for 45 minutes at a time because otherwise I would just sit her down on a pillow and We take care of everything else else. We take care of. It's just so easy too. So it's kind of beautiful like I made that way. Seriously. Oh my good, good, good. I'm forced to hold my baby. Yeah. I mean, when did you start? I know you used your nipple shield in the hospital. Did you do it on like your first feed? No. Or when did you start that? No. I mean, I didn't like-- 'cause I feel like they usually figured out that very first time. They do-- all my babies have done a great golden first feed and second, third. But then I eventually-- No, I think what happens is they get really ticked off because it's not flowing yet. And they are hungry. And so then I just used the nipple shield. And then I just keep using it because I like it. Yeah, no. When did you introduce the nipple shield? That's like, well, the first Vivian latched so easily, which CJ never did. So that first day, I was like, oh, I don't think I need one. But, sorry, lady, she ripped them girls up so bad. They were bleeding. And I got scared of her, so I'm supposed to actually cry. I was like, no, don't bring her to me. Like, I didn't want to latch her because it hurt so bad. And I didn't cuss my entire labor. Kale was like, really? That's what got you. I was like, I'm literally going to punch you in the balls. So you know what this feels like? Like, I was so scared. So I gave her formula until they healed that day. And then that night, I used the shield. Today, all the girls were talking about, like, upside, they were upset that the hospital gave them formula and I was like, no, I was like, please bring in the formula because I'm so scared of my child. Like, I ordered it. Yeah, but that was just for like a couple of fees until they kind of calmed down. And then I latched her with the nipple shield that night. Yeah, I was like, what is so funny? Because the lactation consultant came in when I was feeding him. And then she was like, I was like, it's not a bit. This is my third child, don't you see? Well, like, how long did you use it with both of them? I was like, a year. A year. It's not a whole calendar year. It'd be like 12 months. And she was like, oh, well, you know, we really don't recommend it because it's a barrier between you and your baby. I was like, mm-hmm. Just a thin, just enough of a barrier. I know. Like, you know what? I kind of like it. You're like, exactly. There's no one looking between me and my baby. I was like, we are pretty close. If you actually think about it, actually. She's like, it can decrease your supply. I was like, excellent. You said, God, a problem for me. I was like, actually, maybe a little less. We need a little less around here. And glad she told you because some people probably don't know. But-- Yeah, no. She did tell me-- She also didn't. I really asked if I wanted her to come in. I think I did ask for the lactation consultant with Vivian because her latch wasn't screwed up and they were really helpful. They helped me. They also go like this. OK, if you can't watch this, I'm sorry. But they go, OK, ready? She's hungry. Shower face on there. Thank you. And the kelp and I go, like, shocked. I literally asked and I was like, can he breathe? I know. God, it looks like it looks like it's amazing. It's amazing. I was in my labor and delivery room in the lactation consultant came in after I delivered. But with the first time I was eating the lactation consultant. I was really grateful for my lactation consultant both times. I know it's like sometimes people-- The first time I was so happy they had them there because I had no idea what to do. I had no clothes just trying to-- I was just putting her head here. And I was like, you need to hold it. I don't know what to do. Yeah, but I had no idea. She's just going to hang on. Yeah. I was like, hold your baby. Yeah, you have to hold your boob up to that. But I'm like, oh, sorry. The both times they had to teach me how to do it. I was like, I don't remember the kids on this. But then after that, I was like, put the shield on. That was great. OK, how was your first night alone with all three? It was-- OK, well, first of all, we kind of took back what we said we were going to do postpartum. Did I kind of say that? I haven't them stay with your mom and dad. Yeah. They stayed for a few nights. No, actually, yeah, it wasn't very long. I just needed all my birds and my nests. And so then we just cut it off. And then it was early on. We're like, OK, we're diving into the deep in here. And all three boys woke up the first night. Oh, in the middle of the night. Yeah. All three. Obviously, he was crying. They hear fish are crying, or did he just wake up around? They had their own things, their own juice. They all had to be sorted. And I was like, wow, OK, this is one of those moments, where I was like, we are capacity is stretching. We are going. But that was a little panicky, because I was like, oh my goodness. The variables are increasing of what's going to interrupt my night's sleep. And so that was just a little bit. It wasn't nearly as overwhelming as I would have thought it was going to be. But I think at that point, you're like, OK, well, here we go. Right. Buckle up, because it's going to be a long ride. But you know, you figure it out, and we're both tired. I was like, quickly, I realized I was like, Matt, you got to do the big boys. I got the baby. We got it. I'll see you in the morning, like type of thing. He still helps with the nighttime feed, which is great. So like, I still have to pump at the end of the day, because he cannot drink this much milk. He literally cannot. At that night pump, it's literally only two hours after I fed him. And I always get like 10 ounces. And so I'm like-- I've never gotten 10 ounces ever in a row. He has two hours after feeding him, too. And it just builds up through the day. So I'm like, I need to do that for now. And so then he'll give him a bottle. And then he'll give him-- that's before we go to bed. And then he'll give him the first bottle in the night. And then I'm like, you go. Because we will be up a couple more times. And then they'll for sure be up. They're early risers. So it's just like, honestly, a lot of like, divide and conquering, which is kind of fun. Because I'm like, yeah, we're a team. And we're making it all happen. And sometimes I'm like, oh my gosh, you're going to go. I know. I salute you, Captain. Yeah. Good luck. Because then we convene in the morning at like, six, 45, we're like-- You're so nice. Like, you're alive. We're alive. We're alive. Incredible. And this was the rule we made. First of all, I made the rule. He could never say he was tired. I did that. And I was like, he's like, OK, I'll tell someone else. I should have made that rule. That's a fair rule. Yeah, that's a good one. I got a little annoyed. I was like, I started to compare then. And when he was-- I was like, you're not fairing well. Because I'm pretty sure that I'm adding up what I got. And I'm adding up what you got. And I'm also healing. So then I made that rule for him. He took it well. And then I also made the rule for myself. I can say I'm tired one time. He will hand me a cup of coffee. And then I'm not going to say it anymore. It's smart. And I was like, it works. Yeah, that's good. I think I might have broken that rule yesterday when I got the nighttime scaries. I was just so tired, I was scared. And he's like, you go in the guest bedroom. So I went in the guest bedroom after the first fee. And then I got three hours of uninterrupted sleep. New woman. And I felt incredible at 4am when I saw him. I was like, thank you so much. Yeah, because he's loud. He's loud, baby. And so, yeah, that was our rule. And I think it's worked out really well. I encourage everyone to set that rule with your husband. I should have set that rule. Draw that boundary. I just set up a new rule that I wanted to-- or I'm not a rule. I just set up a new rule for my husband. I could think about this. Because Blake works at in-person job, I prioritized his sleep over mine. I don't think I'm going to do that this time. I love him so much. But I think my sleep is important too. So I'm going to work on that. I did prioritize sleep. I gave myself permission to work on that. I did prioritize Caleb's sleep. Because he would wake up at 4am to go to work. That's crazy. I know. But then I was a mess. So I don't know. Maybe we could just both equally be a little more messy, but less messy. Yes. Oh, yeah. Drag them into it. I know. I just felt bad. I mean, he would feed her at 4am with a bottle after a couple of weeks. But before your milk supply kind of levels out, I didn't want to give up a night feed. Because it felt-- I need it. Or I still wake up to pump when he does that. See, that to me just felt silly. I was like, why would I wake up to pump when I should-- Oh, because it's so quick for him to eat a bottle. And then it takes a long time in nurse, I know. Well, I would never do the switching thing. I didn't do it. Some people will-- I need to do it. --and then give the baby off like to have their husband put the baby back down. Yeah. I like that. I never did that. I just stayed away the whole time. I'm like, why would I wake him up to do that? Just to change the diaper. I know. Let me just do it in five seconds and put the baby back to his-- But everyone did it to different levels. Oh, no. I'm like, get them involved. We'll see if I stick to that or not. That was what would take me off, though, is that I would do all the feeds. And then Kale was like, I'm tired. I was like, I'm sorry. I don't want to say that to me. And he's like, I'm allowed to be tired, Abby. And I was like, yes, you're just not allowed to talk to me about it, you know? So you're not allowed to stay up till midnight and then be tired the next morning. I know. I knew he would wake up, but I was like, I just-- I don't want to hear it. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it. Do you like tell literally anybody else? Tell everyone else except me. Yeah, make that rule. And you know what? I think that helped a lot. Because before I was like, listen to you, I just feel like-- I know. Because they are tired. They're getting woke up. Yeah, that is what you have with me, for sure. But it's just-- you're like, it's just not the same level. And now I'm being bitter. I don't want to be bitter to me. I said, well, does your vagina hurt? OK, I don't want a dog. I don't want a dog. We love them. I know. And no, Matt has been so helpful. That's what I'm saying. I'm like, he's up with me, too. But I know. All right, I'm also like, we just can't-- We can't-- We can't keep score. No, but the levels aren't equal. That is a grounds-- those are fighting words. I know. Postpartum. They are. They are fighting words. And so we just need to know that. We're just not going to bring it up. No, that's worked out really well. Yeah, that's a good rule. Do you want to share any embarrassing posts? part of stories that you have well we can share one on our main and we'll share the rest on Patreon because okay I think that'll be a fun Patreon segment let's go what's your what's your first one no what's yours okay this is funny our friend Val that you're gonna be next week or that you met last week her husband came to drop off a meal with CJ and I don't know why they we they were sick so they weren't gonna come in so I didn't have pants on it's not sitting on the couch and I just had a big thank you they had a baggy T-shirt on and Lewis starts barking my mom opens the door wide open Dave walks in with the food and he's like well just bring it in I'm literally sitting there with no pants on just like this hey so scared were you wearing I don't know I think I was wearing like a diaper yeah I was for sure because it was pretty fresh after and they dropped off a meal and I was just saying they're on the couch in my diaper and a T-shirt and he's very gracious and said he didn't notice but yeah it's like fine if it's your girlfriend's but someone's your friend's husband that feels weird yeah so I'm very this is after CJ yeah like a whole shoot just hanging out your dive I know that's like I really should wear pants my hot take is I hate the diapers I had the hospital diaper on too so it's even thinner I don't like I'm I don't like I'm as soon as I could get a a regular pad on yeah I was like please feel better I didn't like that it wasn't they're loose they're loose that's something you don't expect when I wear him against so much I thought he like bit you that's exactly what it feels like for those first couple weeks the toes there they are oh my god I wear him it's so much worse yeah it's a strong glad down they're out here right now you remember the wind of dog that's what it is this is so crazy right now I'm sorry out we could pause to feed no you don't expect this you get let down so you don't need them he don't want to eat sometimes he honestly this is what you also don't expect if you get it like a baby can like it what's the word like engage like like start initiate a let down yeah and then just decide they don't want it and they're just like yeah and you're like oh my god and I'll just see there's like a little bump coming and I'm like no no no no no no no no yeah and then he'll just do something like it's it started and then he goes the little sucklings then to sleep they don't even his eyes are open he's just like yeah I don't you're evil you're crazy you're psycho you're psycho you're never do that and it's just boring that's not the only one you did you said you wanted some you wonder this I got to eat it I love it okay well but it is oh well it's gonna be yours no did I have I ever shared this one on the podcast this is one of my embarrassing if I started to share it then we could change it but I was freshly c-sectioned with my second and I'm in a really compromising state in that bathroom you know with the postpartum nurse you're like just they're basically wiping you like putting pads on for you there's a lot of cleaning in there yeah a lot of grooming going on with your private parts uh-huh and she was bless her she's like I've watched your videos for a really long time in the bathroom in the bathroom yeah that's so funny I was like thank you so much yeah that's sweet but you are it's a little embarrassing it's a little vulnerable every time maybe you watch my videos and I've done it was like never comment on anything don't tell people what it looks like please I'm scared I don't even know what it looks like right now I haven't seen that thing in months honestly though what a testament to her she's like unfazed by it yeah that's the thing I think that I'm I'm shocked by how casual all this stuff is for those labor of course it is they do this all day every day and I'm like why am I who might be embarrassed right now you've seen so many who might think mine is that special yeah that it will stand out to you right right but it doesn't right but everything is normal right actually trending up what are the better ones you've seen is it good fluff me up um so yeah that was embarrassing for me yeah I was like oh thank you but you know what that's just her that's just her Monday afternoon right what I mean totally so that was funny that is never comment publicly on it thank you to magic spoon for sponsoring this portion of today's episode magic spoon just figured out how you can turn treats into something you can actually feel good about eating if you love sweet snacks but hate the sugar crash this is about to be your new obsession magic spoon treats are crispy airy protein packed snack bars with 12 grams of protein seven grams of fiber zero grams of added sugar two to three grams net carbs and certified gluten free and they genuinely feel like a treat you guys not a sad health bar their flavors include marshmallow chocolate peanut butter double 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their magic spoon treats a high protein low sugar take on the cereal bars you grew up with you can get five dollars off your next order a magic spoon dot com slash Abby that's magic spoon dot com slash Abby for five dollars off ask ask ask Abby hi Abby's and Abby loves this podcast just wanted to call and see what your like irrational fear is um something silly like for example mine is mold so I have an irrational fear of mold so I'd love to hear what your guys is this loveful on path I accidentally passed my irrational fear down what that the ceiling fan is gonna come down so they they cannot sleep but that was an irrational fear that comes down they're gonna hurt that bad well actually I know some of that oh shut what what one of our friends it happened to them and I was like Matt my irrational fear happened it came down in their kids room and what happened they I mean he was okay okay but it all just bad on the kid oh scary imagine that guys and I'm like and Matt would always tell me because one of our fans and whenever all departments was just like and I was like Matt I fixed that I was like tighten it I'm already the most well-fasted fan will still freak me out with that one it's just really actively tipping I was like you're out of diet I can't sleep with it on and he wouldn't tighten it because he doesn't know how he's not like that he's like I wonder if I could love um so that's my irrational fear that's just that one ceiling fans are coming down that's a good one I have a lot of irrational fears and for the moment I can't think of a single one of them for you they all feel rational they all do I can think of my mom's because she isn't many of them I can think of Matt's my mom you said like if okay why was this a thing if it was raining outside in thunder storming she'd be like shower fast before you get electrocuted like we'd be in the house showering and if there was a lightning storm or a thunderstorm you would be like get out of the shower sometimes yeah no the shower during does that make any sense it's just never heard that I know it doesn't make any sense I think it kind of can happen but also what are the odds what are the odds you should avoid taking a shower or bath during a thunderstorm because lightning can travel through a home's plumbing system okay be your time it's gonna go through the plumbing system into my shower drain and then through the water and hit me one time to one person that happened to one person that's a crazier as you look at stats I used to have a lot of rational fears acid rain do you guys know mine flesh blood what was yours getting locked in a bathroom stall oh yeah and it happened to a little girl on our cruise and I was I felt so bad oh stuck on a little bit of scary that one happens to me I hate elevators as is so that's like anytime the walk like I get scared outdoor elevators really scare me yeah I mean I just have a lot of dumb ones like and I can stem a lot of them back to my childhood um falling on a knife like in the dishwasher I don't know just like oh like flicking the lights which is yeah I'm like I'm gonna start a fire oh wait is that true Can you actually look that up? 'Cause Matt and I were just talking about it 'cause I told our kids that it could start a fire and Matt goes, "Is that true?" And I said, "I don't know my mom always told me that." - Why? - That's gonna be that too. - But I also could think easier. Flashing light. - I mean, don't you have to have the condition for that to do it? - Yeah, that's why you're impoverally wired to electrical system, normal turning on and off. Even rapidly will not come. - Matt was doing that when he was bringing them to bed. He was telling them a story and it involved light effects, lighting. (laughing) - That's to protect her. - You're like, "Stop!" - I was like, "That's why I wanted to watch a bedtime story." He was like, "Your stories remind me of. " So it's like going back and forth and going, "You're gonna make a fire, Dan!" And he's like, "You told the kids?" I was like, "I thought it good." (laughing) - Back to your question. An estimated 10 to 20 people in the United States are shocked or injured each year. - Oh. - While bathing, using faucets or handling appliances during a thunderstorm. - That's a risk you can take, I feel like. - Yeah, 20 out of how many million? (laughing) How many people live in the US? - I love and believe in the whole world. - She's laughing. (laughing) - What's your guess of population of the United States? - We've been through this. - We've been through it. - A hundred and a hundred million? - A hundred million? - A hundred million in the United States? - 342 million. - But they're in the high. (laughing) - A hundred million? - I thought you were saying like a billion, so. - I thought you were saying that. - A hundred and 25 billion people in the United States. - We're the third largest country by population behind Indiana and China. - I used to think my flash flood worries were irrational and then I looked up videos of flash floods and I said, "That's actually where it's at." - Arizona, yeah, it's scary. - Yeah, they're pretty. I am just in general scared of heights, so I could go on for days. - It's a rational fear. - You're scared of things that move fast. - That is one, thank you. I don't like playing out of control of my body. - Oh, there you go. - It's the one I start to go fast. I start to bail, and that's not safe to do when you're going fast. - That's why we need to snowboard together. - Yeah, I know, I'll go very slow. - Same. - Hi, Abby, Abby and Abby. My name's Lily, and I've never been a trader Joe's before, but I just moved in my college dorm room and then a trader Joe's literally five minutes away. So I wanna go, but again, I've never been. So tell me what are your top things that I should get and try from trader Joe's. Thank you so much, and I love the broadcast. - What was your name? - Lily. - Lily. - There's a clear top two. - Lily, get your paint of paper ready, girl. - Do you agree to your paint? - Write this down. - The clear top two. - The yellow tape chips in the sublime. - Sublime, I should be. - Which is exactly it. - Yes, clear. - You also need to get the Greek yogurt guacamole. - Yeah, well, we like the guacamole salsa. - That's what it is, but it's got Greek yogurt. - Oh, okay. - It's guacamole. - Yeah, and then we're gonna get the catchy OE pet May puffs. - Yeah, I mean, you need to get the catchy OE pet May notki. - The subitano notki. - Subitano notki. - You need to get the fries. - The subitano fries for breakfast. - We have to get fries for breakfast. - The fries are so good. You have to get the orange chicken. - Orange chicken fried rice. - Won't really work in a dorm. - The fried rice is good. - Is elite. - You need to get, let's go to the desserts. - If you get some vanilla bean jojo's. Just to try them. - Oh, they're candy selection. - Oh, about this. - Scandinavian strawberries. - The sour kind. - And the regular kind. - I like them better. - Not like. - That's not it. - You have to get their dog chocolate. - Don't chop up your dog. - Yes, yes, yes. - Around Christmas time, you have to get the box of jingle jangle. - Jingle jangle. - I mean, oh, you have to get the salt and pepper crinkle cut potato chips, best potato chip of my entire life. - Yeah, I mean, should I keep going? I like their wine country chicken salad. - All their cheeses are fantastic. I love their honey Greek. I mean, long list, honey Greek yogurt. - Gotta get a crinkle. - It's fun to just get up a little budget and just go and just walk out the aisle. - Mate had, I really wanted to try them. Those cookie dough ice cream bites. - Oh my gosh. - Did you try them? Yeah, I sure had them on my story. Unbelievable. - They're still there. - I don't know. - I bought them one time and I said, "It's actually me and how small they made that bag." - Can't, it was one serving? - Yeah, then there were like 12 pieces in there. - I need 12 dozen pieces in there. - Those looked amazing. - Yeah, so good. Yeah, I get those, the cookie dough ice cream bites. Hopefully they make that a permanent. - I honestly also like the cookies and cream ice cream sandwiches. Maybe even a little better. - They are so good. - Yeah, you always say that, but you like Oreos, so that I could use. - I do like Oreos. - You need to try them then. Abby, they're so good. - Cookie's in cream ice cream is just always a little disappointing to me. - It's an ice cream cookie sandwich. Like, you would like these. This is a great example of Abby, just she just blocked something out as a no in her brain. - Hi, Abby's and Abby. You guys always look so thinking cute in your workout clothes and I just want to know what are some of your favorite brands? Thank you. - Lululemon. - Lululemon. - Yes. - I love Vitality. - I love my gifted Vitality. I love my gifted Epida. - Are the ones I bought? Probably Amazon. (laughing) - But my gifted sets are my favorite. - I know. - Good one. Another good one too that a lot of people don't know where it's beyond yoga. I would say be mindful of what your workout you're doing in them, but their material is amazing and they're really well made beyond yoga. To be honest, I don't ever buy either of them from Lululemon. - Yeah. - I actually have a couple of sets from Sinitas that I really like and I love working out in them. I don't know if they're still a company though or not. - They came back I think. - But are they still around? I haven't heard about them since that. It was kind of an odd tradition. - They closed and then got re-bought and then. So I don't know. Yeah, look into that. But I like the sets that I wear like that like sagey green one that I wore. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's really comfortable. I will say the fabric gives me butt pimples, but it looks good. (both laughing) - Dang it. - It's not breathable. - So don't. (both laughing) - Paulias knows that. (both laughing) - I also want to place them. - I don't like aloe. I have to say I don't like aloe. I would say, don't do it. - It is so expensive too. You're like, you want it. You kind of want it to be really nice. - Not. - I have one pair of shorts from Viori that were so expensive, but they're so nice. - I was having conversations with some of Viori. I think it's just not made for my body type. - Yeah. - Paul. - They're so really basic. - Tall and slender. 'Cause I have some tall slender friends like amazing in Viori, and then I tried it on. I was like, I was gonna go into their store and nothing jumps out of me. Like I'm not like anything looks, but then when people wear it, I might think they look amazing. - That looks really good. They don't want to go into the store, I don't. Yeah, maybe I'm just not chic. That's a great question. Thanks for the compliment. That's really sweet. - Also, maybe you're not seeing me work out enough. (laughing) 'Cause I would rough a lot of the times when I show up. - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. - No, you don't. - I always think fun of you when you wear that thong outfit. - Yeah, everyone does, and I'm still gonna wear it. (laughing) - It looks like I'm a thong out of some of these shorts. - They have a contrast line straight, the whole way down the butt crack, and it looks like a thong. And once I ever saw it, once I might couldn't unsee it. No, you should wear it. - Matt told me not. - Yeah, he's like, "You probably shouldn't wear those outfits." (laughing) - I said, "I'm just gonna wear these around the house." (laughing) - Every time I see it, I'm like, "The thong." - I'm sorry. - No, it's a cute set, though. - Okay, that wraps up voicemail. - Thanks for the questions, guys. If you guys wanna call and leave a voicemail, the number is 602-456-9690. Love hearing you guys. Just ask questions and call, and it's so special. And thank you for taking the time to think of questions and ask. - Seriously, so fun. - Always hungry. These banana muffins, I haven't made them in a while, but they are a delicious banana muffin. It's not a healthy banana muffin, but if you're not looking for that, - Don't make healthy muffins. - Healthy muffins, or bread. - I know, just don't. - You gotta put the full sugar. - You need sugar. - You need full sugar in there. These banana muffins are amazing, and they have a crumb sugar topping that's just delicious and delectable. And if you have old bananas, it's a really easy recipe that hits every time. - I just made some full sugar banana bread. - Oh, it's so good. - It's delicious. Have I put my turkey chili recipe before? I could, I was going back and forth, I was like, I don't know if I can. Okay, disregard the fact that I have to be so honest with you. I got this recipe for my mom, and she sent me in the title was, - We watchers. - I think you have to share this. - So if you're on weight watchers and zero points, I don't follow any diet. This is a high protein chili, I will say. Like there are so many beans. So it's turkey, it's so easy, but I'm in an era now where I'm going to be using my crock pot again because it just feels like the only way I'm ever going. My meal transcended, guys, and I'm like, what do we do, what do we do, what do we do? Crock pot, and then a lot of crock pot recipes and use ingredients that I don't necessarily want to cook with on the reg, canned soups, full blocks of cream cheese. We talked about this. They're delicious, they are delicious, but just can't be eating that every day. That's, yeah, I kind of want something different from my dinner. And this one will be a high protein, and it's, you can make it on the stove too, - Bye. but you could also make it head and stick it in your crock pot. And it's literally just beans. It's so flavorful though, I really like this. It's a little spicy, so maybe peel it back if you're gonna be cooking it for your kids. My kids love this. Also, in fact, they love this so much that when we took them to Chili's for the first time, they were so disappointed 'cause they thought they were getting chili. (laughs) And I was like, "Mom, so, I'm so, I'm so flattered that you guys were really hoping it was mom's chili." And Chili's, that's cute. - It's really good. I like to dress it up too. Cheese, sour cream, free of wine, I love it. - We're from the Midwest, okay? We love it, Chili. - I got really addicted to making chili after I discovered that I actually liked beans and I stopped living the lie that I was allergic. I used to tell people that I was allergic to. Did I tell you that? - Well, I knew you had a bean thing. - Yeah, and I used to make beanless chili. And then I was like, this is just marinara sauce. (laughs) - You're eating meat sauce. - Yeah, I would add like veggies that people were like, "I've never had carrots in a chili before." (laughs) - You just were free in it? - Yeah, I don't know what it was. So, anyway, after I said, I had beans I got addicted and then I haven't made it in a while. - That's special. - I hope you spread myself out. - Yeah. - I've never felt so bad. - If you guys wouldn't mind, leaving us a review. - He's so nice. - He's so nice. - He's so nice. Capri, Capri said, 29 said, "Comfort show, five stars. I love listening to this podcast. I feel inspired, by the way, they aspire to be good moms, wives, and friends. It makes me want to be a better person." That's really sweet. - I feel a little bad. I feel like I kind of dogged on Caleb's episode. Did I talk bad about him? - We all kind of dogged on our husbands and they said, "I'm sorry." - Yeah. - I know, I'm sorry. - They said, "I'm tired." - Yeah, I did dog on him, but I love our husbands. - We love our husbands. - We love having babies. And also, I said this, I'm not saying. - Yeah, I hope this episode wasn't negative. Like, I don't want people to walk away feeling like, discouraged about postpartum or motherhood. 'Cause that's never our goal with this podcast. We always want to put things in a light that even though things are hard, there's hope in humor. - Hope in the heart. - Yeah. - You're just giving people expectations. - Things to know a little bit more. - I know. I just feel like there's so much negative talk around motherhood and pregnancy already that's sometimes I don't want to add to it. - I said this one on plant, but I really want to say this here too, because it's just been on my heart so much recently that I just have so much gratitude that this is literally what I get to call my job. It's insane, like that's ridiculous. Honestly, when you really think about it, like the whole time that we've done social media, which has been like, at this point, like almost seven years, like the whole point has been for this, like the opportunity that it has given me with my husband and then our children, like the fact that I get to literally just be sitting here talking to my sister-in-laws, wearing my baby, and like this is work, right? Quote unquote, and I'm just, that gift has shaped postpartum for me so much, 'cause I just keep thinking about all the moms out there that have to figure out how to juggle going back to work so quickly after this, and it literally just like, it makes me just, it makes me sad, if that's not what you want to do, you know what I mean? And I'm just so grateful that I'm able to like, have this option in my postpartum state, and like with my kids in my house, with my sister-in-laws, like that gift is not lost on me, and I get that because of you guys, so I just really, really want to drive home how like grateful I am for you, like tuning in and listening, whether this is your first episode, or you listen to all of them, or you listen to on plan, or you've watched our YouTube, like all these things, like wherever you, like came along, and maybe you left and came back, like I just am so grateful for your interaction, and like giving me this gift, because it is, I will enjoy it for as long as I can, the fact that this is what I get to do, and like be with my family, be with my kids so much, so. Thank you for that, and I think that's what we're saying, especially in the postpartum episode, because like this is literally work and postpartum, like what a gift, so. Well said, Abby, thanks for saying this, that's perfect. Hey, we're so grateful for you guys, we appreciate you, and remember, we're always here. (upbeat music)