Postpartum TMI: Latching, Let Downs & Things No One Warns You About

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[Musiikkia] - Välkeen. - Kiitos. - Mä oon Abby Howard. - Abby Howard. - Hei. - Hei. - Mä oon tietysti suurin? - Jaa. - Hei. - Täällä. - Täällä. - Täällä. - Mä oon tietysti. - Täällä. - That's about, oh tiny, we call tiny. - Tiny, he's like tiny sad. - Tiny sad, aw! - He's all sleepy now, so it's perfect. - He's asleep if he's wrapped to me. - Yeah, good. - Well we're here to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor. - Yeah, what's going on in your life? - You know what, I feel so disregulated. - Why? - No, just no reason. I don't know, I just feel this morning, here's my heart. - I saw you today, you seem regulated. - Oh, you should've seen me like two an hour before. - Okay. - We had a play day this morning with some of our girlfriends, and I even made a big plea to them. I was like, "Hey, do you guys want to be my best friend?" And so they're like, "Let's plan a hang." 'Cause I really like these girls, I think they're fun. I like want to join the arms with them. - Did they say yes? - Yeah, okay. - But then now they kinda know me, so now I'm nervous after today. They're not gonna want to. I was so weird. - I showed up. - Okay, we started playing or hanging out at 9.30. All of our kids are around the same age. - I came just with my baby. - I know, it was perfect. I was like, "We're not playing, but I'm playing." - I mean, I need some friend time. I show up at 9.30, and I had all these plans I wanted to go for a walk to other stuff, but it was kind of a hard parenting morning. And so I already, I was just kind of a little out of my, I was just a little discombobulated. So then I show up, and I literally, "I can get you off your game, for sure." - I felt like my quarters all levels were all over the place. Like they were talking to me, and I had no idea they were speaking to me. They were like, "Abby, Abby, like calling out to me." I was just so weird. Like super socially weird. - I don't think so. - I honestly still feel it now. (laughter) - I feel like I can't say this. - I just had another coffee. And I asked, I was like, "Do you have coffee?" And Chris said, "No." (laughter) - I was like, "Wow, I don't know why I'm the fast. I don't know, I didn't press." - I did, I was a little shocked. - They seemed like coffee people. - Well, now you can't be best friends. - I was like, "I don't think she wants to be friends with me after this." And then we're there, and the kids are playing, having a great time, and all of a sudden, we hear, "Crash!" - No, I heard it before, and I was like, "That sounds so suspicious." - Yes, and then it happened again, four times. And we go around the corner. CJ and his little buddies had thrown four really nice, collectible Legos, like fully built. - I don't want to say that. -. adult Legos that her husband built in college, and they smashed him into hundreds of pieces. - No, Abby, thousands of pieces. (laughter) I was like, "Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching, the dollar's sides coming off in my head." I felt horrible. He's had these things call it. He's in his 30s. - They're like display, like display. - They designed his whole, their son's bedroom around them, 'cause they're star wars, all like the ships. Super cute room, so cute. - Don't you think there was a Millennium Falcon in there? - Yes, there was. - Abby, that one's the. - But listen, they were smaller ones. - Okay, guys. - They weren't the massive ones. - So I'm like, we'll pay anything. - I feel horrible. - Well, I texted her, and I was like. - I was there. I could've done something. - She wasn't there. - We were all in the living room and the boy. - Like, all the kids were playing migrating. - Yes. - And so, like, the owner of the home? - She was there. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - So we walked around the room. - I was like, "You gotta bend for all these Legos." I thought it was like a kid's pieces set that they like dumped the bend out, and she goes, "No." I said, "We're these builds." (laughter) And she's like, "Yeah." She was so gracious about it. - She was so kind. - She was so kind about it. And so, by the way, we all felt horrible. And yeah, I texted her, and I was like, "Just let me know which ones they were." (laughter) Because when I was looking at it, I could not figure it out. Yeah, I was like, literally all the pieces from all four of them were mixed together. She said, "He's gonna try to put them back together, "but that's really sweet of him." So I just let me know. I won't literally pay for those. - I didn't know how serious I would be. Like, I was wondering, I was like, "Okay, if this was something that happened with Matt, "like Matt's not into Legos, "but if I would just took a picture of it on the floor "and send it to him, he was at work." I was like, "Maybe this isn't that funny." - This isn't funny. - No, this is serious. - I just felt terrible. - She was so sweet, she's like, "He's a grown man. "He'll be just fine." - I know, I love her because she's kind of a heart. She's a tough cookie. I know, but I just felt terrible. We all felt terrible. - I told her that when I got home, 'cause I was thinking about it too. - I know. - I'm just kind of ruminating, I'm like, "Oh, poor man." - No, it's okay. You know what? - My kids just didn't know about it. - Yeah, they look like they are toys. - They, yeah. - That she's one of those few toys that's for an adult. - I know. - I know. And they, like, the kids responded really well. Like, they were so apologetic. - They were so apologetic. She didn't talk about the whole time on her way home. She said, "I'm going to get my paykey bank "and some money and we'll go buy him some new ones." And I was like, "But yeah, that's really sweet. "That's really good generosity." I'm like, "You're forgiven." And then he left, he was like, "And next time, "I'm not going to touch the legos." (laughing) - This was a good lesson that we learned the hard way. - Really hard to say. - Yeah. - So that was a really big bummer, but we'll make it right. - Yeah. - But that was, yeah, that was. But my hope is great next week at Leigh for Italy. So I'm just, this is, "Woo, getting ready." - I'm so sorry for you. - I'm thinking about it a lot. I'm like, "Abby's going to go to Italy." - Thank you. - Well, I just can't stop talking about it. - No, I feel like there's just a lot, that's a big deal. - I know, we just haven't done anything like this in so long. So I'm prepared. I put Caleb and Baggy jeans. Did you see that? - No. - No. (laughing) - Sorry. - He looks good. - You put him in Baggy jeans? - Yeah. - Okay. - Baggy jeans. And I got him Baggy linen pants. - You're just dressing up like a little. - Yeah, I was like, "Listen, we don't just go shopping. "So I'm going to buy the things I don't want you to wear." (laughing) And yeah, now he just need shoes. I never think about what Matt's wearing. - Did you like that purple shirt I showed you from people? - You didn't say anything about it. - I like that purple shirt. - Yeah, the internet. I had to admit defeat. I was wrong. I brought this outfit from Free People as this really cute little mini skirt, which felt very out of my comfort zone. And I paired it with this flouncy, blousey purple plum shirt. - They just didn't like the combo. - They didn't like the shirt with anything. They just didn't fit my body right. - Which I was like, "All right, I'll admit when I'm wrong." - I liked the top. - I did too, but actually it's a beautiful color on you. You're gonna return it. - Thanks. - You're not okay. - I know everyone, it was pretty unanimous. And I did tell Caleb, "Okay, you were right, I was wrong." - Oh, he didn't like it either. - He didn't like it. - Why? I hate this about myself. Why don't I hate this about myself? But sometimes I'm like, "Why does this matter so much?" Like if Matt doesn't like something. - I know. - Like I want him to be honest with me. And so I like him when he says he doesn't like something. But then I'm like, "Well, now I can't wear it." - Well, I actually get genuinely mad. I'm like, "You have to like it if I like it." But sometimes he doesn't. And then I'm like, "Well, I'm gonna wear it anyway." - Oh, see, I'm an opposite. - I'm like, "I only want you to like it." - Yeah, for this trip, I want him to like what I wear. So I'll return it. But normally I'm like, "Well, you just don't get it." - You guys have to pull that card. And he's like, "Why do you ask my opinion if you don't care about it?" And I was like, "Well, I just actually wear one validation." - Oh. - But he can't lie. - So I say compliment me. - So I'm like, "Well, it's for the girls then, not for you." - Well, my hope is, like, my community, our community, we have the same people basically, have like shown up for me in so many ways recently that I'm just like, "Yeah, I post part of this easy, but I have an army, a small army of people doing essentially everything for me." Like, and so it's one of those things where it's like, people have been so kind, so thoughtful, so generous that it's almost uncomfortable at times. But I did listen to the perfect episode of Arthur Brooks right before I had Fisher. It was something about like letting people help. Why you should let people help you? Literally, I think is what it's called. And it was a great podcast. And I was, every time I'm like, reminding myself, 'cause I'm like, "It's so uncomfortable sometimes to like, have people help you." And I don't know, I don't want to be that way. Like, I have so much help. But it's also just like, just, I think the part of it that just gets me is that every single person that I've shown up for me also has a young, needy family and a million other things to do with their time. And I'm like, oh my gosh, like don't inconvenience yourself like this for me. Like, you have a million things to do, and everyone has just been so amazing. Like, I'm not, I can't even, so many, I still haven't cooked dinner. Good. We are several, several days, weeks from giving birth, and I still have not cooked dinner. And I certainly haven't cooked lunch because we have all the left. I literally have just been eating cooked food, and I still can't eat at all. And I've been eating so much, and I'm also feeding three other people. Like, it's crazy. And so I'm just like, so, so, so, so grateful. Like, I just, I really wish this for every single person that has a baby. Because this, I've also like, I've never had it bad. But I know the difference from like having a baby with like a really strong community and having a baby when you don't really know too many people. And don't have any people in your like network. And I think this is a major reason why this postpartum has been significantly different. For me. Did you have a meal train with Griffin? No. Okay. I'm trying to remember. I feel like we brought you meals after birth. You for sure did. Yeah, I remember. How much about that time? I mean, either wrong. It's a blur. It's a blur. It was also four years ago. So long time ago. Yeah. After Oggy was there a meal train? Yeah, certainly. Cuz I had one with CJ. Okay, then I surely did. Yeah. Cuz I feel like we made a lot of friends in that time. Yeah. I know. I'm like. Dang it. Dang it. It does make the biggest difference. So much so. And just a lot of people checking in on me too, which is really, really sweet. And yeah, I just wish that for every mom that has a baby. And I also just know that they're not going to just show up for me now, but I'll see them months from now. And there's just like continued support and like love extended, which is super humbling. And so grateful for. So hard for me is that certainly as a part of the day, I find myself a little overwhelmed at the responsibility that I now have. I'm like, wow, this is a big responsibility. I have three children. And that's not, I don't take that lightly. And I think this is just the price of like, it's just growing pains of like, like I always say, like moms make it happen and your capacity grows. And I certainly feel it growing. And I'm like, so grateful. I think it's grown really fast, but there's growing pains with that. And everyone's like, oh, my word, like there's a lot of pressing needs right now. And like my non-negotiable that I said from the beginning was like, I have to shower every morning. Like, because I just know like, if you don't set that, if you don't set that standard, that's how crazy this season is. Like, you literally won't shower. And I know that every mom knows it's like, and I like, I need to shower and brush my teeth every morning. That has to happen. Brushing my teeth was so hard for this for two weeks. Yeah. I'll let you keep going. But I do have a story. No, go ahead. My sister. I was just telling her. I just feel so overwhelmed. I just can't even, like, I literally, it's 3 p.m. and I haven't brushed my teeth. And she goes, I just think you really need to take care of yourself. And I said, don't say those words to me in this moment. I was like, that is not even what I'm thinking about. Yeah. And I can rather my teeth fall out, then go brush them. Literally. Like, you're just so, like, those first couple of weeks are so hectic and all you're doing is nursing and then trying to keep up with your kids. Because then in the time that you're not nursing, you're like, oh, I have to do their laundry list of things to get done before the next week. Yeah. And then which is hard? If you're given the opportunity to set them down, right? Literally. Like, which doesn't happen. Right. And so, yeah, that's a lot. Which is a lot. It's really important to shower. Yeah. The shower is a good one. Like, I'm like, I'm taking a shower. Put it in there. Okay. Yeah. You're not going to do that. That's what you're saying. I still make it happen. Okay. I'm going to make it happen. Oh, I haven't missed a single toothbrush. Oh, good. I need a toothbrush that's like in bed with me as I'm going to sleep. Yeah. Like, if I get in bed without brushing my teeth, I'm not getting out of bed. If we're about not brushing his teeth in the morning, I'm that late at night. Sometimes me too, Addy. But it's so tired. But it's so tired. Look at how you've got it. Actually, a good amount of fights about me not brushing my teeth at night. Maybe we're in the same breed. I'm like, I am not going to do my routine. Well, he's like, this is so bad. Oh, but I'm like, no. I'm here. I'm asleep. I'm like, I can't do it. Now I have the tip. When you wake up, you have to wash my face. I have to wash my face. Yeah. I mean, this is extremely bad. I don't think it tastes any worse than brushing. I have really stinky breath. Yeah, me too. I don't do it as much now because I have this take where I have to wash my face if I have makeup on. Which I used to just sleep with my makeup on. But now I'm like, if I'm going to wash my face, I might as well just brush my teeth. So I don't miss anymore. But I use this all the time. See, that falls into my category if I don't do anything before going to bed. Like I. You would just hop in bed like just like that. Yes. Those clothes on? Yeah. Yeah, remember, she's like. Oh, jeez. At this point in this pregnancy, I'd probably take my pants off, but then I would just. I would hop in bed just like this. I still think about that time when you told us you nap in jeans sometimes and I'm still a puff. Basically every Sunday I wear jeans, if I wear jeans to church, they're going in my nap for me. Dear jeans are fitting different than my clothes. Oh, my gosh. I've caught me. Are they loose at least? They're loose. Yeah, they're not skinny jeans. I still can. Just the thick heaviness of my pants. Oh, weird, I'm going out. You would hate my routine. Every night I got to do it, everything. That's good. That's a good decompress. I'm about to go to bed. I'm like, hop in bed. Bed to it. Now I'm going to sleep. Well, I have so many sessions. You get better now. I have it literally. You do have a lot of sessions. That's where I start to feel really overwhelmed, actually. I'm like, I got to have you bathed. Have you bathed? Have you read a book? Where's your milk? Where's my pork part? I'm like, ha! So this is what we tossed by nighttime scaries. The nighttime scaries got them bad last night. Got them bad. Yeah. And so I was like, Matt, I'm really scared. You're scared of what? I'm like the hours of 10 to 6. Just FaceTime me. I'll read them a book to the phone. They're just getting their jeans. They want to really listen. They would love that. Yeah, I was like, I was scared last night. I didn't know if I'd be able to do it, but I feel better. I got a little, I did do better last night. That was good. But yeah, that's just growing pains. And I know that. And I think that if anything, like having the perspective of like, this is so short and we like realize that now, I didn't have the perspective. Honestly, even with my second, because they were so close together. Yeah. Like we hadn't gotten to that point yet. So now it's just been really sweet and enjoyable. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We had a busy. It's pretty. It's a baby noises. It's grunting. 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I can tell you that having a meal ready in three minutes that is flavorful. Healthy. And makes me feel satiated and energized to tackle the rest of my day. Cannot be beat. And that's why we're thankful for Forkful. Explore our plans and menu of fresh. Ready to eat meals at ForkfulMeals.com. And use code Abby to get 50% off your first order. That's ForkfulMeals.com/Abbey and use promo code Abby for 50% off. Thanks to Forkful for sponsoring this episode. Brails birthday party. It was so good. It was fun. I feel like I, as I was like leading up to it, I was like, is this too over the top? And I'm like, it's actually not that over top at all. It was perfect. It was perfect. It was a little bigger than maybe just a typical house party. We don't have a home to hosting. So we rented a little clubhouse at my friend's neighborhood. And it had a splash pad. So that's all I wanted. It was her to have a splash pad for her birthday. And she found it. That was a great setup. Like for the party. Yeah. I was preparing for it to be outside. I think everyone was prepared. I was scared. Everyone was prepared. Yeah. I was like, it's at a park, I think. I was like, me and Fisher are going to be there for five minutes. And I walk up and I was like, this is beautiful. Yeah. We had the clubhouse inside. And then people could go outside to the splash pad and they were connected. And so it was great. And the air is on a heat too, which was fun. But Brielle really enjoyed it. She blew out her candle by touching the flame. That was epic. That was epic. Which was, it's just too late. You can't stop it. Right. You don't think that's what they're going to do. But she had a great time. Everyone showed up. It was so sweet to have our whole community there. Because I feel like we have, like, a night we have two groups. I have, like, my burn girls and my church girls. And it was just so sweet. I felt so bad. I literally got home. I was like, Matt. I feel so bad. I never mingled with the other side. I didn't get up from the chair because also Matt put me on sitting rest. He literally was like, you need to sit more. And so I was like, I will sit Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So I literally sat the entire party. You do. I did too. I just kept the family. Which was fun. Yeah. I mean, we don't get to see him all the time. So it was so fun. I know. It was a great party. I think so. I pro big birthday party for your first kid. Yeah. For their first birthday. - Okay, just your first kid. - Well, I just think subsequently with your second and third kids, you just naturally aren't going to. But I think for the first birthday for your first kid, it's like, this is for the parents. And I think that's good. Yeah, you should tell her that. Because that's a hard first year of transitioning into parenthood. It's so exciting. And they get their first year. - Everyone should have your own personal balloon girl that you're friends with. - I saw her today at the coffee shop. - Yeah, she said that. - The cupcakes were so good to me. - You're her friend, Mandy Mayne. - She's just the best. - So good. - She met them and they're delicious. - I still have a couple at home. - Oh, you should bring me on. - I should have brought them. Because I haven't eaten them. - They're so good. - Yeah, no, it was a great, it was a great day to spend with everyone. Having my family. - She's so cute. - Blake spent, just everyone. - It was so sweet to have everyone. - You just a little chunky one, y'all. - She's just kidding. This week, she's been like talking. She's not saying real words, but she is just. - That's the best. - Talkin' everything. - Everything. - You're having really big hugs. - Aww. - I said that on the podcast when I was, but when you weren't here, Abby, and that that was the most thing that surprised me is. - No, I listened to the podcast. - You did. - I still have 30 minutes left. - Oh, that's so nice. - Of course I'm listening to it. - I'm too late. - I'm just making my way. - You're gonna be an extra level of pressure. - Abby, it needs to be. - No, I was so proud of you guys. I texted you and no one responded. - Yeah, I don't know why I didn't respond. - I think I was like, "Oh, that's so sweet." And then I just moved back. - I think it was embarrassed, so it's. - I just never respond to texts. You guys unless-- - I know. - I'm sorry. - What the heck? - Thanks. - Thank you for saying how good it is. - I'll keep my compliments myself. - No, I'm sorry. - That was really sweet. - I'm just teasing. The only reason I noticed that you didn't respond is I was like, "I need to text them." Then I went back and I was like, "I already texted them." (laughing) - Is that what I was like? - Get it stumbled out. (laughing) - It shows you my prime example of if it's a work text related to work things, I will respond. - Yeah. - Because I am so fascinated that if it's personal, nah. - I thought right. (laughing) - I appreciated the encouragement you sent it and I thought, "Oh, that's sweet because she sent that." - That's the only reason why I said it. I didn't say for, "Thank you." - I say for it. And I actually went back and saw it again when you sent the bedding text and I was like, "Oh my gosh, that was sweet because she sent that." And I didn't respond to your message right now. Oh my god, like it. - You can't just scroll up, scroll up, so funny. You've been rewatching movies, you've listened to our podcast and you're rewatching movies. - Well, I'm showing the, we're adjusting. And I'm like, I feel like by the end of the day, I'm like, "What can we do that we are all seated and not making any more of a mess?" Because the thing that's really hard is nerd is I'm calling a movie trapped. It's what we are. And my other two kids are just like, they're running a month. - They are running a month and it is scary. - Our house is so dirty for a month. - Terrifying when it gets quiet. I'm like, "What has happened?" And so at the end of the day, I'm like, "We need to wrangle and what's the best way to run a watching a movie?" And my kids, like, love movies. And what kid doesn't, honestly. And, but I've been like, a little selfish about it because I'm like, "I want to watch something that, I want to watch too, a little bit." Like, I'm kind of over the end of the movie. - Yeah, for sure. - And so I was like, literally looking online. I was like, "What are toddler-friendly live-action movies?" Now, you're gonna say, "Hey, you should watch "The Disney Live Action Movies." You're right. You're right. But I wanted to watch the ones that were nostalgic for me. And so I was looking for that, like, list. So I showed them, we watched "Monkey Trouble," which you guys ever watched that movie. - I've never heard of it. It's not like, I loved it. I would actually habitually rent this from Blockbuster as a kid. That one was not too bad. Minus, the guy was like an alcoholic. And, I mean, that was a little bit like-- - Over their heads, I'm sure. - I hope, yeah. I was like, don't ask questions about that. - I started playing drunk. He had, like, his little thing. But then, I think they're like, maybe, like, maybe you shut up or stupid or something like that. Oh, here's what you don't want to watch. Oh, no, no, wait. They may watch the night of the museum. Not too bad. A couple of stupid, a couple of shut up. - Were they into that? - They were watching. Yeah, that's so true. - They loved-- - Dumb dumb, give me gum gum gum. - And I literally said to Matt when you were watching it, I said, "Why do I feel like you're one of those boys in school that would just say that just like a tick at school?" He's like, "I was." Matt's like, "I'm really glad we met when we did." 'Cause those boys annoyed me. I remember when everyone would say that from my museum. - Dumb dumb, give me gum. I was like, "Oh my gosh." No, I'm older. - You're so much older at it. - Yeah. - And then, then, this is what you do not want to show your children, guys, I'm so serious. Doctor, do little. Don't do it. Don't do it. I watched it so much as a kid. And I was like, "I want to show the kids." My kids loved animals. You guys would not believe that S H I T word. - Oh, no. They literally said that. They said, "Can I even say this podcast?" - Pussy. - Oh shoot. They said, "Sex, joke that was overt." That definitely went over their heads, but the dog is like, "Do you want tips on positions?" Like the mom and dad are like in bed, like talking about it and these tips on their head. - Oh my gosh. - They said, "Shut up all the time." - Wow. - Stupid, so many times. Like, they said, "Damn." They said, like, all, I was like, "Ha, ha, ha." I was like, "So our response has always been like, "Don't draw attention to it because then they, "that happened because you guys, "monster's ink, they say, shut up." - Yeah. - Those two little monsters go, "Shut up." And so then, they started saying that. And then, I said, "Where did you hear that?" And then, they told me monster's ink and then they were right. And then, I heard them say, "Stupid." And that is one that we cannot get out of there. Like, it just happens. It's from Zootopia. - Oh. - Dang. - Stupid bunny, is that what you call it? - Is that what you call it? - That she says dumb bunny. - Dumb bunny. - And another part, Gryffin can quote it, word for word, the sentence in which she said it. And I typed it in my Google and I was like, "Buy all of you's right." - Wow. - Word for word. So I'm, and now we're in that place. My mom's like, "Why are you saying, "because my mom will say stupid?" And I'm like, "More, sorry." And Caleb will say, "Shut up." He does say, "Yeah." And I'm like, "You kind of knocked that off." You kind of knocked that off. I can't be saying that, 'cause CJ can't be saying, "Shut up." - CJ would lock in on that, too. - If we're going to-- - If we're going to be stuck before it. - He's locked on a poopy and I'm sick of it. (laughing) - No, they know that they can say, or not, but they can say it. They also said, "Stupid in a Paw Patrol movie." And they quote it all the time. - Dang. CJ hasn't picked up on stuff like that, actually. Thankfully, but that's a good PSA. - Maybe we put a little disclaimer before this. We can move this to the front, but we are going to talk about a movie and there will be cuss words. - Cuss words, just like stupid and shut up. - Yeah, and some other ones. - Put your disclaimer in a bowl, doesn't it, doll? I actually love it as an adult. - Yeah, I've seen all of them. That's why I was trying to migrate to some older ones. Last time, we were like, "We can watch bedtime stories." I was like, "No, we're done." (laughing) - Did you guys watch Flubber growing up? - Oh, we almost watched that one. - I don't remember it. - Oh, I, I don't remember it. - Did you guys watch that? - I don't remember anything about it. - I just remember the green slime going around everywhere. - Yeah. - And then Inspector Gadget. - Oh, yeah, that would be a safe one for him. - Yeah, you think. - I mean, these are sure they're not on Disney Channel. - I had the second one on DVD. You know the videos that you have stuck in your car, may you man? That was Inspector Gadget too. - Love that one, the bubble gum. Anyway, so just be really careful with Dr. Doolittle. It was made in 1994. What have you guys been watching recently? - No, not at the museum. - I have not watched anything for children actually. There's this show called The Hawk. Did you watch it yet? - No, we haven't watched it. - We go to bed when our kids go to bed. - Okay, this is a great show. It is explicit, like there's a lot of language in it, but-- - Sorry, I got to say language. - Yeah, you can't watch it with kids around. It's hilarious. It's Will Ferrell, Jimmy Teatro, if you remember him. He used to do a bunch of, he was a big YouTube comedian back in the day, but he's in it. It's a great cast, but it feels like old Will Ferrell humor and killed when I just laughed her way through the show. I was not expecting from the preview of it. I didn't think it was gonna be good at all, but we were very engaged in the story. - You guys love Will Ferrell. - I know, but I feel like his recent stuff hasn't been as funny, this felt really funny. We were cracking up. So that was been really fun to watch. We're watching the Ted Lasso again. - How many episodes are there? - Eight. - Okay. - Yeah, and they're all 30 minutes. And I watched The Little House in the Prairie. - I don't know that I've ever watched that. - Oh my gosh, you're so good. - I wanna see that. - I wanna see that. - Actually, is The Oregon Trail a little different than The Little House in the Prairie. But it's similar vibes, you know, traveling by wagon. - Yeah. - Living off the land. - Perfect. - Saying goodbye to your family to never see them again. - With no post office. I'm like, "Uh, what?" - Yeah, it's pretty crazy stuff. So I really enjoyed it. - It was a great show, well done. - Okay, I'm excited to watch that. I think they did a good job of showcasing Native Americans and like, not the pilgrims, what are they called? - I mean, you can say that. - Yeah, pioneers. And just showing both sides of why the Native Americans would be upset and why the pioneers would do what they're doing. Like, I feel like it was like, they did a really good job of blending it. - That's scary. - It was so interesting. Maybe I want to look into more Native American history. - Good. - I know, yeah, I was like, wow, this is fascinating. - Wait, we're in Arizona, there's a ton. - Yeah, I know. - He did tell me the other day. He's like, post part, and we should, I had this list of shows I was gonna watch with part of him. - Maybe with your first, make a list. - Yeah, you don't have time for that. - No, we don't have time. - That was a pipe dream. But, and Mao was like, we could watch Friends. - Yeah. - I was surprised that he suggested that. It's not happening, I'm still having to watch Friends. Give it a couple more weeks, when things settle down. I don't, I don't know. I don't ever normally watch TV though, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Okay, what's crazy happening? - Well, just crazy. - Well, just crazy, like crazy. - Addy, educate us. Chick-fil-A has chicken in it. waffles. Oh, am I breaking this news? I have no idea. Yum. Yeah. Did you try it? No. Are they cheating on waffle minis? Um, I don't know. Let me show you a picture. They don't add to their menu very much. I know. It's probably just a seasonal thing. Oh, that's kind of fun. Wow. How appropriate. Yeah, I'm actually surprised it took him this long. That's August 24th, so they're there. No, they're sandwiches. Oh, sandwich in between a waffle. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, Fisher wants one too. He would, man. So with bacon on it, the bacon really sets that up. Ooh, that's crazy. That's crazy. That looks delicious. I want to try it. I want to try that. I will try it. Their coffee is so good. I had a bad one that turned me off. He had way too much of an L in it. Oh, and I'm you like a sweet. They're soft service unbelievable. That's flavored vanilla soft. They do have good soft serve as well. That's a strong vanilla flavor. A strong vanilla flavor. Abby hates vanilla bean. That's very aggressive. No, I love vanilla bean. I just didn't understand why our brother-in-law kept saying, it's just going to get vanilla. Everyone likes it. It's like, oh, yeah, they do. Everyone knows, but no one just wants to eat a bowl of vanilla ice cream. We weren't, he made brownies. That time. I'm having it on this. They get stuck on this. We are fixated. We're fixated on this story. We're gonna let it go. We can't let it go. He never defends himself. I just find him back. It's so sweet. He's just like, it's all right. Okay. I also have dance to the stars. He's like, I like it. Yeah, I know he does. Whitney Carson has been a pro for a really long time is coming back on this season of the answer to the stars. She won last season with Robert Irwin. She's pregnant. She's in her second trimester. What? My gosh. If she lasts very long, which she's very talented, she could be dancing into her third trimester. Whoa, that's so impressive. Who's her partner? It is, because I feel like that's what determined if he lasts. I don't think they're going to last super long, but he is kind of people like him, so I never understand the balance on dancing to the stars of like, it's the audience or the judges. Is it 50/50? Yes, I think it's a mix of both, but the issue that people have with the audience voting throughout the. It's not really about their dancing. Is it about how much they progress from where they started or is it about who's was the best dance? Because like, you're going to have these older people who want to have the best dance. No, I think it's got the best dance. You know, they're not going to have the best dance, but they may have grown a lot. They might have grown a lot and they're still. Yeah, the way it should be the best dancer of them all, personally. I thought Alex Earl got gyped. I thought Whitney Love got gyped. I thought Robert Irwin was great, but they just had a hard season. They had a lot of good dancers out there. They did. A lot of good dancers out there. Are you going to watch Alex Earl's reality TV show? Yeah, I think I'm going to too. I probably will. House of Earl. Because I want to. It's like her family? Yeah, that's all in there. Alex Cooper's definitely down too, and so I want to see them. I know they did a good job teasing that out. I know what this is. Did you hear about the Alex and Alex drama? This was a while ago. No, I saw it. Esonel's get about it. Whoa, are you kidding? That's crazy. That's all I saw off. And Esonel's get about the Alex and Alex drama? I am pretty sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Wow. Guillermo. I don't know what the drama was about. No one knows. Oh, okay. That's what the drama's about. They're teasing you out. That's what the sketch was. Yeah, it's because they don't. They have to trust it. They have to actually trust it. So it might be fake. I don't think it's fishy. I just don't think anyone has said any, like what actually like happened. But Whitney's partner is Guillermo Rodriguez. He is. He's yellow from Jimmy Fallon. Yes, Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel. It's Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah. It's fun. It's the Jimmy's. Like his sidekick. I mean, Guillermo's hilarious. Oh my gosh, that's a fun partner. He's a little older. Yeah, so I don't think he'll be on there super, super long. Hey, represent the pregnant lady. That's what I said. That's gonna be cool. It's gonna be different because, you know, they put all those women in those tiny little outfits. She'll look amazing. She will look amazing. Yeah, she will. She's two boys, huh? Yeah. And so, just, you know what she's having? They're having it all together. That's exciting. That's so fun. Because I actually remember in the Barbie movie, I remember they kind of made fun of pregnant Barbie all the time. We were both so pregnant. We're like, hmm. She represent doing stuff, getting out there, like with the bump, man. She just posted a, oh, sorry. She just posted a, like, what you guys saw versus like the reality of her first trimester because she was doing all these appearances and different things and she, what? And then she's like dying. Throwing up and then throwing up. And then throwing up afternoon in the morning and so on. I love that there's this shift in culture where women can now be athletic and do activity while they're pregnant, like with our moms. They were misled by the doctor. Well, so not mis unintentionally. Yeah, it wasn't delicious, but they were just told not to be active and not to do a lot of things. My grandma still gets very concerned about me working with our pregnant. My grandma too. She's like, are you supposed to be doing that? I'm like, yes, ma'am. That would be hard to rewrite in your brain though. If you had like, multiple kids and your doctor is literally telling you not to do. Yeah, it's your medical advice. I'd be hard to go back on. I just saw this video of this. She's an Olympian runner, I'm pretty sure. She hit her due date. I think about that video all the time. She ran a sub six-minute mile. Yeah, I think about that video all the time. Someone commented, my favorite comment. So what's your mile time, not nine minutes pregnant, or nine months pregnant? Is that not so amazing? I think about that all the time. I know. Because I'm like, I can barely jog. I couldn't. I was like at burn. Just like, yeah, just awful. That is insane. I think my quickest mile time is barely under eight minutes when I'm not pregnant. Oh, no, I don't run any minute mile. If you were to sprint one minute. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, you could, but so impressive. I was, I was just in love, I was loving that. So that's really cool. Go Whitney. That would be really cool. Rock it. Have you guys seen all the, we have so much to catch up on? I just am thinking nonstop. This is another Roman Empire. The fact that the internet hates polyester right now. I didn't know that anyone was ever a fan of polyester. Well, this is so interesting to me. I kind of like polyester sometimes. Okay, but I feel like there's a time and a place and every time I see one of these videos where these girls are like, it's just a talking head video and they'll pop up and it's like just, I don't know, slandering a brand or something and say, this is a hundred percent polyester. It is not worth the money. And sometimes that's true. I like a hundred. I agree sometimes, but sometimes I think that their information is not also correct. I think there's a time and a place for polyester. And I also think the purpose behind not wanting polyester makes a big difference. Okay, plastic because I think some polyester is, it should be priced expensively. Like there are different grades of polyester and a lot of what I see online, they're like, we're not going to pay $70 for plastic. I'm like, but there are different grades of polyester. The polyester that you're getting at Sheen is not the same polyester, you're getting a little lemon. Oh, definitely not. Oh, this is why you like polyester. Well, no, just a little lemon. I mean, even designer brands will have a polyester sometimes. And that's just a totally different construction than what you're going to get at a fast fashion place. And so sometimes I see these things and I get, I'm like, well, I get your point, but I also know the argument that I'm like, yes, that's always a hundred percent right is that polyester is never good for the environment. But to automatically say that cotton is good for the environment to produce cotton takes so much water and so so much wastewater. They have to dye the cotton. It's just it's bad in a different way. And so sometimes I'm like, I understand that polyester never degrades and all that. But I don't know, just some of these things. I'm like, I just don't think that's always like the whole story. And so when I see these videos, I'm like, uh, can I tell you something? You're kind of caught up in the fan. Hmm. I don't know that I know what my clothes are made out of really me either. I do listen, I don't buy things that are a hundred percent always. But I love a poly blend. So do you look at a tag before you buy it? I usually always do. Yeah. And when I had bowl, I was really strict about the quality. I never bought something that was a hundred percent rayon. I and I would only buy poly blends for the most part. But sometimes like polyester adding a little bit of polyester to a cotton shirt keeps your collar from getting stretched out. Like there's a purpose. I don't know. I just sometimes laugh when I see these videos and like how much the internet hates polyester. And I'm like, listen, I don't want to live in a world without it, to be honest, me a little bit of that. We get a little bit of polyester. I ask Google to tell me a little bit about this. Yeah. What? It's durable. What about the internet is hating about polyester, right? Yeah. Tell me about it. And saying, so there are polyesters now a dirty word. I know. We slang Gen Z creators use polyester as an insult for people who think or things that seem inauthentic cheap or trying too hard. Right. It's not always cheap. Yeah. This says they've turned the plastic fabric into a viral symbol for cheap fake and low quality products. Which also I think is silly because you're not only paying for the garment when you're buying a piece of clothing. You're also paying for the labor and some brands are paying their employees a better wage. You're also paying for all the parts of that supply chain. So you're not just paying for the fabric. And I understand I want to wear cotton and linens and natural fibers. I'm afraid that's not because of I might mess it up, come on, why? - Yeah, I can probably shrink that. - Yeah, I mean, there's different reasons, not everyone can afford a 100% silk skirt. So they're gonna get a polyester skirt to get the look of silk. Like I just feel like to fully ride it off, it's kind of an elitist mentality to be honest. A little bit. It is. I had no idea the debate about polyester. - It's really hot right now online. - Am I thoughts about it? - I could talk about it probably way longer than anyone cares to hear about it. - That's good to know. - Yeah. - And you know what, I'm starting to realize I probably have a lot of polyester in my wardrobe. - Yeah, and I think if it's a well-made, well-constructed polyester garment, you're not gonna just immediately throw it away every time. If you're getting all your stuff from she and, or H&M for every 21, obviously those are not gonna be well-made things. But also cotton has degrees of quality. Like you can go to Walmart. I have a $5 100% cotton tee from Walmart. All stretched out, misshapen, not good. But then 100% cotton from quince is different. So there's degrees with all fabrics. So just automatically you're writing something out the door. I also do not want to go the gym in a cotton outfit. - Oof. - I just don't. There's a time and a place for polyester. I'll stand on that. - I don't even know which ones are which. - I'm so out of that world. - Would you work out in that shirt that you're wearing right now? - No, I just looked at 100% cotton. - Okay, right. - It's too thick. - Exactly. - I don't know any of the other things. - I could have been too rowdy. - But then to very be soft and wet. - Yeah. - So I don't know, I just think it's funny. It's an interesting debate and I just think it's a trend. - I think it's funny that it's turning sling. - Yeah. - It's like a thing. - People are heated about it in the fashion world. - But I just, I'm like, I get it. I don't like bad quality stuff and I understand. But sometimes I'm like, ladies, there's a time and a place. - Mm. - You know? - Yeah, I mean, all those Amazon clothing probably have a bunch of polyester. - Yes. Well, I don't, see, I don't buy Amazon clothing anyway. Like I just feel like maybe I think the trend is good and that it's leaning people to be, wanting to be more sustainable and they're closed. Wanting to buy things a little bit more intentionally that are made of better quality fabrics and that are better quality. I think that is a great, that's a great outcome of this discussion online. But just to like brandish a whole fabric as bad because they think it's, you know, plastic, I think is a little silly. - Mm-hmm. - Because I think there is a time and a place for everything, but you can get good quality polyester and a well-constructed garment that's made out of a fabric that's not cotton. - Mm. - You know, yeah. And also not everyone can afford natural fibers. They're expensive. So, you know, thanks for educating me on this topic. - You're welcome. It's a hot debate. If you have more thoughts about it later, I'd love to talk about more. - Yeah. - I love talking about it. Thank you to Flamingo for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Breaking news. I can now bend over. (laughs) There is no longer a huge bump that is getting in my way, you guys. I therefore now have no excuses as to why my legs should not be smooth, silky, luxurious, and that's exactly what they are. And nothing is more cozy as we're entering this fall-time season that having freshly shaved, deliciously silky legs, putting on a pair of cozy sweatpants or a blanket over them. You really, that is probably one of my top 10 favorite feelings. And that is what Flamingo does best. Flamingo was born when the women who helped build herries noticed that the other companies selling women's razors were just shrinking men's razors down and making them pink. No, that's not gonna cut it. 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Just head to shopflamingo.com/abbey to claim this offer. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please, please, please support our show and tell them that always hear sent you. Well, this episode, we are talking about postpartum. So sorry to drag postpartum back into the conversation. Why? Because I feel like you just got out the other, both of you are just got out the other side. That means it's fresh. I can talk about it. I can't go put it perfect. It's coming up again. I love a refresh. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of things that you would not expect about postpartum. And you know what? I'm continuously surprised. The things that happen. And also, every experience is different. And also, I've noticed some different changes hitting me harder and less hard as I've had consecutive like pregnancies. Anyway, so what we did also ask you guys, because we love hearing from you, about things that you did not expect postpartum on the always hear podcast Instagram. And you guys really showed up. So some of these are so relatable. JCB says how swollen I was down there and not being able to sit, stand, or lay down without being in pain. Yeah. That one's a hard to mentally perfect that one. Mine only less like a day or two though. And then I was fine. Like, I feel like by day two, I was able to sit and get up. Well, you didn't really tear very much. I didn't-- yeah, I didn't. I had a first degree with baby, but with both of them, I was more-- But you didn't have any stitches, huh? No. Then how do you even-- they just let it heal. OK, then that is so crazy, I know. No, we suddenly have some stitches. Definitely painful for me. That was one thing I did not expect is how painful it would be. But I also had hemorrhoids. That's one thing I didn't know about. And I had a secondary tear. And I'm pretty positive I broke my tailbone. So, you know-- Oh, thanks. You just naturally-- But I do relate to the pain. Like, I can feel my tailbone right now. Yeah, it hurts. It's crazy. Leah said how much more aware I was of when I was ovulating. Yes! Oh, my gosh. Yes. You can feel it. I remember you saying that, and our friend Ashley talking about it after-- I thought those people were lying. Same. I said, there's no way. I was really at the gym the first time I felt it. I was like, what the-- Yeah. It feels-- you guys-- it feels exactly like you would think would feel a cramp on one side. Just like an egg-getting shot out out of there. That is crazy. I really-- the first time I felt it, I was like, oh, that's that it. And that's how I learned it's only one side. Yeah, I felt it on my right side. Mine was on the left. I'll never forget it. It was my memory, because it's such a weird feeling. And especially when you've never felt it before, but your body has done it so many times before. But then why do you just feel it all the sudden after having a baby? I don't know. I don't feel it now. I haven't noticed it as much. But I have a couple of things. Maybe just a couple of times. Maybe the first couple of times? I don't know. Yes, so interesting. Yeah, I didn't feel it every time. Yeah. Elizabeth says, having anxiety around 9 p.m. every night-- nighttime scaries, girl. Emma Haingbaugh said, I wouldn't expect to stink so bad. The smells are something to be studied. So stinky. So crazy. Megan says, I really thought I could escape hemorrhoids. Was not prepared for them in the least. I will be prepared this time. Wait, you got them two in your pregnant, huh? Yeah, I think I did, but I didn't know it. I think I didn't know what they were. And then I was like hurt, no, I think I-- One time I realized what they were. I was like, yeah, I surely have that. I had a really distinct one when I was pregnant. That was first in last I've ever had. And I was like, shoot. I'm embarrassed about this. I remember going to the doctor, because I was at my follow-up appointment, the six week appointment. And I was like, hey, I don't really know if I had these. But you just let me know, because-- Yeah, six weeks later, you still had them? Yeah, whoa, Adi, that's insane. Hemorrhage are embarrassing. Because it's like, guy, I have this massive lump around my pulse. Yeah, I'm like, check my stitches. But could you also check my butt? Yeah, it's like so humiliating. He's like, yep, he got so hot. So what do you do to get rid of a cream? Yeah. Did it help? I think so, I don't know. They went away eventually, huh? They went away eventually, yeah. She doesn't want to talk about it, I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't care about embarrassing. I should be more embarrassed. I'm not embarrassed of them at all. I love to educate people on them. I don't know how to deal with them. Take that as-- I don't know what to educate people on them. I don't know what to do about them. They're happy. Maybe I'm going to have to stop pushing started. Maybe they won't come. No, you never know. And you get the epiduralia of no idea. You're just like, I might break the bones in my face. But I hope things are moving down there. Laura said, waking up in a puddle of milk, how about waking up in a puddle of sweat? That to me is just-- It is just jarring. Oh, well, this was so real. Caitlin said, the sight of my boobs being milked by a machine just never got old. With my first, I was like, I was like, Matt, upper your eyes. It's humiliating. It's even though they can move like that. And then they're way they look afterwards. They come out and they're stuck. There was a video one time it must have been with Augie. After Augie, where you were pumping. Oh, yeah, it was busy. We were about to post it. And Matt's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you review that to make sure I have your boobs aren't in it? It doesn't look like it. Oh, my-- Yep, that's-- That's what that is, we got to cut that. Laura, that baby out. That's before you never pumped, too. Yeah, I probably was like, what is that? Oh, guys, it's so crazy. It's crazy. And a Grey said, postpartum rage instead of pregnancy rage. Oh, I can write a book on that. Micacrossin says, the never ending hunger or in thirst due to breastfeeding, my stomach was a bottomless pit. - Yeah, yeah, that's gonna get me in trouble right quick. - It's so funny. I remember Vivi, it just being up at three in the morning and me going to the pantry and I'm like, I need a meal when it's the middle of the night, steak and potatoes. - Yeah, there's no fasting. Your stomach does not want breast. (laughing) - Broke said full loss of control over the potty for the first day or two. - I didn't expect that. - Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen. - I wish, don't have that until you're third. I'm not even kidding, 'cause I was talking to some of my friends that have three kids. I'm like, I never experienced something like this. I, for the first week and a half, I was wearing pads just as much for P as I was for boy. - Really? No control over my bladder. - Wow. - Didn't have that at all the first two times. And so I was talking to my friends that had three. I was like, okay, what happened? (laughing) And she was like, yes, if I do not, if I would wake up to nurse in the night and I didn't go before, I would be sitting there in my own pee. - Wow, it just comes out, you can't hold it in. - I couldn't, as soon as I had to go, it was coming. And I was like, man, I'm really worried that this is not gonna go away. It went away, thank goodness. I mean, I'm not gonna, I haven't jumped. - Right. - I haven't run, but I didn't have that before. I was like, is this incontinence? - I literally cannot. - Yeah. - Like I couldn't hold it at all. I felt like my kids, I honestly gave me a lot of empathy for them. (laughing) I was like, when they say they gotta go, they gotta go because it's gonna come out otherwise. You're like, I do need to be party trained. - I do think that, that was something I did not have. - Yeah, I never had that. - I think that was. - I got what stand up and I'd be like, oh my gosh. - Not a little bit, like all of it. - No, a little bit. - Oh, it wasn't a little bit, no. I never did that, but, one of her. Yeah, I know someone else said that. - That could happen to him. - All of it. - Both, both. - No. (laughing) - Yeah. Oh, oh, you mean pee and poop. - No, I laughed, I didn't really know what you meant. Oh my gosh. - It's not funny. - Yeah, that's actually really scary. - Insan, yeah. - Yeah. - It'll get better. - Okay, sorry, I didn't need to laugh at that. I was just laughing so that you're making me laugh. - I think you're making a joke, but it'll get better. - I don't think it's a joke. - It's not a joke, it was fully frustrating. - Right, sorry, that was an inappropriate response. (laughing) - The Maggie bear, sorry. Maggie said, how quickly, yeah. (laughing) - Sorry. - Maggie said, how quickly I went to get out of the house and being in the house was making me depressed. - Dep, dep. - It's tougher depression. (laughing) - I didn't really. - Yeah, you did good. - Yeah, yeah, the house. - You gotta do. - Kelsey says all the crying, yeah. Hey, you know what, I actually only cry like, maybe five times this time. - How many days postpartum are you? - Day two, I cried once. - Yeah. - Day, I don't think I cried very much. It was just randomly and I was like, it tears of joy the rest of the time. - Yeah, it was really teary both times with the other two. - Yeah, good, and they were like sad tears. - These were happy tears and I didn't really feel the same. - I feel like I cried a little bit almost every day for the first two weeks after. - Just about little things. - It just randomly hits, yeah. - Yeah, man, that's normal. - The hormones. Claire says that I would trust absolutely no one. Very paranoid that everyone was against me. - Oh, that one's sad. - Some anxiety comes in for sure. - Yeah, it does happen. - It's Kia said, don't expect the umbilical cord to fall off so fast. - And what it does, what's your dog? 'Cause they might eat it, okay? - It kind of takes a while for the umbilical cord to come off. - They said two weeks, you dog might eat it. - It's been a long time. - Yeah, it's on there for a while. - See, James was on there so long 'cause they left it really long. Remember how long he's in the umbilical cord? - Well, that doesn't mean that, that's not why it stayed on for a while. - No, it took a long time to dry up. - It took a really long time. - His was like super tiny. - I know, my doctor kept calling it his tree trunk. - Well, you don't have to keep calling it that. - That's a little bit of culprit. - He was like, man, that tree trunk. I was like, yes. Is this not normal? It's my first. He said, no, this is the longest he'd ever seen. And then our dog ate it. - Um, okay. - Oh, this one's so real. Hearing the baby cry while showering, even though the baby was not crying. - I had some cries. - Oh my gosh, that's so bad. - I'm hearing phantom cries now, like when Braille's not even at my home. - Oh. - Like, she spends a night at my mom's house every Friday. And I'm like, I swear I wake up hearing her crying. I'm like, she's not here. She's not here. - Yeah. - Get it out of your head. - Chloe said, intrusive thoughts about thinking I was gonna drop my baby down the stairs. I had a lot of scary intrusive thoughts about me harbing my baby. Not that I was going to harm my baby, but like, what if I drop to do right now? What if I kept thinking that I'd leave him in the car if I didn't have him in my side? Like, I had a lot of intrusive thoughts like that. I don't just want him to keep saying. - He was so quiet. Yeah. - So that's normal. - Michaela said, struggling to bond at first. - Takes time sometimes. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - What are some things that you didn't expect? I'm curious. - I had never, okay, so I would always get like the contractions after worst. Like, whenever you nurse, you know, you'd sometimes get them. I got them way worse this time. - So bad after, like my uterus was ready to clamp back down whatever it was doing. - Yeah. - Really? Like, it hurt way more than nursing this time. - Yes. - And it was really out-gy and very consistent. And I remember being like, can we, 'cause they still put you on Potosan, well, they put me on Potosan afterwards, which is really, really common to get your uterus to contract back down. And I was like, can you stop that? And they're like, it's not on. - Oh my gosh. - 'Cause I could feel it when it was on. And then I thought that's what it was, but it was from just like nursing. And I was like, oh my gosh. - Yeah. - That was uncomfortable. It hurts really bad. - Yeah. - It's a subsequent process. - And you're like, I thought we were done with this. - Uh-huh. - We did that. - I know. - That's done. And then you still are dealing with that. It's kind of frustrating. - Yeah, I remember the whole first week home. Maybe we can have home. It was uncomfortable. Like really crampy. - Yeah. - That first two weeks of nursing your toes just curl over time. - Yeah. - Yeah. - To let down everything. Everything's just a little uncomfortable that first week. - I was, I suppose nursing has been way less painful this time. - Oh, good. - Yeah. - Yeah, good. - From like having done it before, but also I think your baby, the latch they have makes a huge difference. - Yeah. - It totally does. - 'Cause they're like clamped on there. Everyone's probably, he does bite. - Yeah, it was his gun. - With no teeth. And I'm like, wow, that might be interesting. - Like a chill. - If he gets teeth as early as a mother wants. - Oh, maybe you should do that. And I was like, I could feel like flick. And I was like, I don't like that. - It's like what he's done. - Just go. - No. - Yeah. - Wow. - Why? - Wow, this is so unique. - Neither of them did that. - I'm sorry. - I've ever been really surprised after having a C section that I still blood as long as I did. - Oh, I didn't bleed that much after my C section. - I blood a lot after my C section. - Really? - Yeah. - Fully dead. And my doctor was like, yeah, it's normal. Because you still have to flush everything out. - Yeah, I guess I, I remember googling that. When I knew I was gonna have a C section, I was like, wait, do I get to bypass that? - Yeah. - No. - I was really, I was very not expecting that. - You don't get to. - No, you don't. How many, your tailbone? - My tailbone. I didn't expect to swell after birth. Like I expected for my feet and stuff to swell before, like while I was pregnant. But it was actually after having my baby is when I started, like my legs got really swollen and my feet got swollen. I was like, oh, that's what that looks like. 'Cause then before I was like, maybe they're a little swollen. And then after I was like, oh, that's what swelling looks like. So I didn't really expect that. - I guess just all the, but your body just gone through a lot, like, is that what? - Is that what fluids in you? When you're get birds, all the fluids in the medicine, just flushing, it's way through. This time I had a crazy aggressive symptom right after having fisher. I started shaking, which I feel like shaking can happen a lot when you get an epidural. I would get that, like the epidural shakes. I didn't get it this time. I got it with Griffin. And then, like I started, but it started to get so aggressive that I literally thought I was gonna chip my teeth. My job was working so hard I couldn't talk. Like they're trying to, they knew something was wrong with me. And also I did hemorrhage. So I think that they were like kinda eyeing me a little bit more. And I just at this point, I was like, I literally cannot talk. It was exhausting my body to shake like it was. And so then they, that's how they discovered that I had a really, I had spec'd a really high fever. And coming to find out, that fever was, I did not have any kind of infection. It was from adrenaline. - Yeah, that's crazy. - From adrenaline, from pumping out of 80. My body just went into total shock. And they did say that, I mean, it could probably happen 'cause the birth happened pretty fast. And like I didn't have a lot of time for like, there wasn't a lot of comb before it. Like he actually was there. Like, and then also like having gone through loss. Like I just feel like my body was just like, my body had protected me so much from like, everything surrounding birth and contractions and like, everything like that. And so then, like I think it was just like a total utter like, disbelief moment. And like, yeah, release, like relief. Extremely, and which is crazy. 'Cause at the time I wasn't very emotional. Like I mean, I was kind of emotional, but I wasn't like that much. But like my body was like holding onto so much. And I literally spiked like a really high fever. And it was crazy. Like they immediately, they gave me like a ton of whatever, I see them in the fan. And then I was just like, (laughing) finally could've been a lot of days. I was like, so like, it was happening for a while. I was like, come on, please stop shaking. I told them I needed to bite something. 'Cause I was like, I'm going to chip my veneers. Yeah. What did I get? Did they do it for me? Oh, my, I had such bad jaw and like neck pain after birth from pushing in my head. They had to give me ice packs for around my face in my neck because I just was so like the adrenaline had, I don't know, after all of that, I was so sore and I was like, I literally like my head is going to explode. So I had to, yeah, I was like, this is all so nuts. This is nuts. I think the bodily reactions, you just never know how your body's going to react to adrenaline. It's always unexpected. I was like, I didn't like that at all. I didn't expect after part of our conversations, they were going to talk about like C-section verse, but today I didn't expect postpartum. I always expected sex to hurt after having a baby, but it hurt way more after my C-section than it did after vaginal birth. Way more after my C-section. I wouldn't say it hurt more for me, but I will say that I didn't expect it to hurt at all. I was like, there was no attention down there during, especially for me, like I didn't push, I just had a scheduled C-section. So I thought that that would be, I would bypass that symptom. I know. That's such a good point. No, it did really hurt really bad. I felt like it hurt way more with the C-section than the vaginal. Yeah, and I've had, I talked to some other friends too that had both, and they agreed. So maybe in a couple weeks you can, maybe don't like me. What are you talking about? I've already done both. Yeah, that's true. Now the fresh remembrance. I could talk about it. That was okay. You get on, like, so last night. This is one where I'm like really reminded that we have a male editor for this video. Yes, I know. I love you, Randy. Randy really loves me. But he's, he's, he's very, he has three babies, he knows these things, he's seasoned. I had, speaking of bleeding, this time around, like a week and a half post-birth, I started to experience a significant increase in my bleeding, to the point where I was like, I'm taking you to urgent care. I was like, no, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. And then he's like Googling, and he's like, Abby, you, he's like, you need to sit down. He'd call, he'd talk to my due love, and he's like, you need to stay put. And I was like, I feel okay, he's like, you're like literally not okay. So then I vowed, that's why I sat for all the reals. I was like, I will sit all of Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Oh, that's why you're on rest. It's significantly decreased the bleeding. So, yeah, that was like a weird thing though, because it had started to let up. And so then I was like, I'm fine. And then I certainly was not fine, so just, yeah, it's not, you really need rest. Your body's telling you, yeah, sit down, down, yeah. And so that was a surprise, that was serious. I was like, I thought we were on the mend here. And yeah, I think I think it was just not giving my body the break that I needed. Yeah. But me too, think of, is it the, people do like the 555 method of like five days in bed, five days around bed? And then I'm like, that sounds like when I'm married. That sounds like when I'm married. My mental health would, exactly. That's when I'm like, it seems, I'm the right person. That's a great idea, yeah. I get it. Yeah, I get it. And I think that sounds beautiful. It just doesn't sound very nice to me. I got it. You got to, you have to weigh both sides. Yeah. Yeah. That's also going to be the best for your mental health. Do you love that? Do it. Yeah, do it. Perfect. Great combo. I think we earned that. I think we deserve that. I just don't know if I would like it. Yeah. Yeah. Like what'd it prefer it? No, I don't think so for me. Yeah. Anything else out of you didn't expect? No. I don't really think of it. Just like with my tailbone and my hemorrhage issue was just like sitting down hurt. So then like standing up, I just would be like, well actually you know what I didn't expect was like to change my routine every single day. Like yes, you're going off the baby, but like just figuring out what worked for us the most like every single night we did something different and I didn't really expect that. I thought to just be like, oh, this is what we're going to do. So just being flexible. I didn't expect to love it. Yeah. I mean, honestly, it's like you're, we talk about it now and we're like, oh my gosh, these things were horrible or crazy or insane, but in the middle of it you're just, oh my gosh, it is what, it is what it is. Oh, yeah. You're just doing it and then hindsight you look back and you think, whoa, that was nuts. But when you're in the middle of it, you just, it doesn't even bother you. At least it hit me. I was like, whatever. Yeah, I'm bleeding. Yeah. Yeah, I stink. You know, but then you get to spend time with your baby and it's just the best ever. So even though it sucks when you're in the middle of it, you don't really think about how bad it sucks. Yeah, I have a question for you guys based on like kind of like that. If you're second, did you feel like it was easier to like enjoy all the little moments more because you like have experienced them the first already and you're not as like stressed about what to do and say you're like, you get to soak everything in a little bit more. 1000 personally. I'm assuming that's going to happen. So I was like curious. But even you talk about your nighttime routine, I feel like that, not that you need to fall into any kind of routine, but like you just are so much more, at least for me. I was so much more receptive to my baby and also like to what we need to do to make everything like, I don't know, it was easier to, I mean, we kind of have fallen into a routine that is based off of when he wakes up, but like it's still a routine and the less than that. It came really quickly and really seamlessly. You've learned the baby math before and so now you're just falling back into the baby math again. Yeah, I think the biggest difference for me with having like after my first is my anxiety levels decreased a lot. I was super anxious and I didn't even necessarily recognize it with our first like like to the point where it's good to respond to your baby's cries, but like it would cause both Matt and I so much anxiety that it was just like, okay, we're still doing the same thing, but we're like actually in our heads, like waging war like our child is going to die. Like we were like, it was just so heightened and so now like I think that it's actually a good thing that like I'm response, I'm so responsive to him, but still it doesn't cause that heart racing reaction like, oh my God, because I think the fact that both of us were like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're both fighting and fighting the minute that baby cry, you're like, yeah, fighting to him. Yeah, literally. And like also like, yeah, so there's just a different level of like calm and then I don't know, I think now I can sort through what's a cause for concern and what's like not a cause for concern. I mean, that's the big difference. Like I did not know the two. Everything was concerning. Yeah. I'm scared. But yeah, it's, you make such a good point though too. Like all of this stuff is just like talking about the, the difficulties of it is just like womanhood essentially. Like in my opinion, like it's like, okay, we can talk about this. We're all going to the same thing. I can laugh about it. It's not glamorous. It can feel postpartum can feel extremely isolating. And I think that's something I didn't expect after the first, my first. I did not expect to feel, actually, yeah, I should talk about this. This has happened every time. But like significantly more alarming with my first, like I remember I literally looked in the mirror until I was like, I don't recognize myself. I don't feel like myself. I don't think I'm going to want to do the same things I want to do ever again. And now I still felt that way. Like I looked in the mirror. I don't remember the first time, but make a bond after having, after having fisher. I was like, that doesn't look like my face, like I don't, you feel like, I felt, uh, not neutrandence. Yeah. And I think that was reflected in my face. I was like, I don't look like myself, but I was like, but I know that I will. Yeah. And I know that we're going to get back here. And so having that like, that checkpoint of like, okay, yeah, we felt this way. This is the same way we felt last time. And we got right back. Everything was fine. Um, that was really good for me. Because I do, I feel like I had like a minor identity crisis after every kid, even though it's exactly what I wanted. And I was like felt so much more purpose than I ever felt. I still felt like a little bit like disconnected from like myself at my core, which is weird. Mm-hmm. But I think it was hormones. Yeah. For sure. I love just saying hormones. I know. I know. It's a great, but I don't know. You know. It was hormones. Totally. Yeah. But it's so beautiful. And honestly, like the whole time, like, I just hope that everyone feels like after they have a baby, like, your purpose is just, is for me, like, it was so deep in it, my purpose for everything. Yeah. It makes me being a woman, Phil. I feel so much deeper as it, as a feminine, as a feminine being, you know? Seriously. And it's so bonding between other women. It's just a little heavy comment. You can talk about it. And it's just, yeah, you're like, that was crazy and amazing and gross and amazing. And I may crush that. It's scary and amazing, you know? Let's do it again. Let's do it again. It's like a roller coaster. You know, we want to keep it going. Thank you to Mayor Beauty for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that if I can't be done in five minutes, it's probably not going to happen because when I think about everything that I have to do to get out the door now with three little kids, it's adding up fast. And a lot of times the first thing that gets cut is my own personal appearances. And that is why I'm so grateful for Mayor Beauty's thoughtfully edited lineup. 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These two together are literally going to be your best skin in just two steps. Plus, if you're feeling a little fancy, you can add a little flush bomb for a natural flush from within. This cheek color lasts all day and follows the perfect time for a fresh start. So make it your back to me season with Merit. Right now Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag, which if you've seen it, it's not just a makeup bag, but it really is an accessory. Free with your first order at meritbeauty.com. That's m-e-r-i-t-beauty.com. Meritbeauty.com. How do you feel after your V-back? Feel good. I felt really, really good and then I exhausted myself. Right. And then I felt like I was like, oh man, there's no way around it. It's gonna be, it's gonna be tricky. Yeah. But overall, like the mobility aspect, I don't know what I'd be doing right now. If I, I mean, you'd make it work, you'd have to have help. I just don't understand what I would do otherwise. I know. Like if you cannot lift something more than your newborn, how do you have other children? I don't know. You know what I mean? It's not that I'm like carrying them that much, but even him and his car seat, like you're not allowed to live that. You're not allowed to drive for two weeks. Yeah, we had to take our kids to school and I had to take him to his pediatrician appointment. Yeah. And like, we had places to go. Like, I mean, I even just remember after having a C-section and they were like, hey, in two days, you're going to the pediatrician. I was like, mm-hmm, you're kidding me. How are we gonna make it? I don't know. I did drive. I think it was 10 days after my C-section and I remember thinking, hi, I should not have drove. Really? Yeah, I remember thinking they were right for that rule. Like I was so, because your core is so, everything's just pain, it's like sitting there in the car and with the turns and like, I just was not in a good place to be driving. And I felt discombobulated in my head too. Oh my God. Like, I was woozy and I don't know, I just thought, I remember getting home and being like, that actually wasn't safe. I don't think I drove for a mile. Yeah, I don't know why, I felt like that. But I did. It was just with me. That's what's so hard. Something that I felt after a C-section that I didn't feel after having a V-back was that organ dropping sensation. Really, I felt that would be. I didn't feel that with him. But I just remember like standing up for the first time after a C-section, I was just like, boom. And then every time I get out of bed and the night after a C-section, I was like, this is such a horrible feeling. So that I got the belly binder and I never used it this time because I never had that feeling. Yeah. I did have that after with my after my V-back. I did have that sensation. But just the first day, I remember staining up and needing help staining up because I remember, and I was like, what was that? Yeah, and I just, they have that big thing that you kind of lean on. I was very grateful for that. I feel like with a C-section, well, and maybe this is just my brain. When you're delivering your baby, you're pushing. So I'm like, maybe you're pushing your organ's back down a little bit. There was movement. I don't know. I don't know. I had C-section that he ripped it out. I was worried about my hernia when I was pushing. I was like, I don't want this to happen. Did they check on that? They're going to check it six weeks. Oh, good. Anyone that asks me about hernia repairs, I always have a whole-- we have a friend who needs one. I'm like, let me set you down before you do anything. So many opinions on it. Yeah. So I didn't have that dropping experience, but I felt night and day different after my C-section versus my V-back. And I hate to say it to talk about it because I don't want people that are going to have a C-section to be discouraged. I had a positive C-section experience, so I can say it from that side, too. I felt just so much better than after my C-section. But I think obviously if you're not going under major surgery, you're going to have a different experience. But I kind of think after those first two weeks, you'll kind of level out. Oh, yeah, totally. And I actually-- OK, well, also just the physical aspect of my body after having a C-section and a vaginal delivery is-- so C-section, this is something I did not expect. They create a flap. That was something I didn't know. I thought they would just make it flat. There's just really no way to make it flat. There's no guarantee tummy tuck with a C-section. No, it doesn't. It doesn't-- it literally just like-- It gets tucked like an apron is what they call it. They still have mine. It's tucked like that. And so I remember just looking at it, I was like, how is that ever going to look like it once did, like with the way that you just did that? And so now it's not like that after obviously not having been cut open there. And that was something I did not-- I can't even describe it at it. If you haven't seen it, the mom said no, no. It's not like it just gets like they just meet back together. No. It's like-- It's got the flap. The flap. Yeah. I don't know how you mine out. I don't know. It's a shell. It's a shell. I still have mine. And it fluctuates with my weight, too. So it's just kind of like, you know. But when it's swollen post-- fresh post-c-section, you think it's never going to go away. It looks so crazy. And you think it's never going to go away. And you're like, how did they do it like that? I feel like that could be an added level of like the stress anxiety hormones of like postpartum of looking at yourself from a mirror if you have a scar. Oh, I couldn't look at scar. And like, you're recovering from that blood alone. Just are you having a bigger belly? Well, you had to dress the wound and stuff, too. Yeah, that's just-- Especially I felt really angry about my c-section. And so I thought a lot of bitterness towards-- I would look at my scar and be like, like angry about it. And now I look at it and I'm like, sick, you know, whatever. But I feel like nothing towards it. I don't think about it at all. Also, I've worn really low-cut swimsuits since having a c-section. You still don't see it. No, they actually sit under the shelf. And it looks seamless. And I'm like, it's great. Yeah, actually, I like, literally the bottoms usually hit right at the shelf. So it just looks-- They're good at what they do. Let's just say that. They know that's something that you have to do. Like, it's really not-- No, it's not. It's a non-issue. It's a non-issue. Yeah, I would say just-- There are different experiences, but there's just different-- Different pros and cons. Different pros and cons. It's going to be hard either way. It's going to be-- especially if you have any type of tearing or anything, it's going to be uncomfortable, post-birth. And that has surely happened? I think that was also why my experience was so different, because I didn't have any stitches with after or maybe back. So I had such a good seamless-- I really didn't have much pain. Yeah. I mean, I had the normal pains, but nothing extra. So I was like, yeah. I was surprised that I was still in pain after-- Well, I was also way more scared to go number two after having a C-section, because I was like, oh my god. I can't push. Yeah, like, what did we do? And this time, too, I had the same fear. I still took swells off and are like, literally last year. I was scared. I think I did feel like a month. I did until I ran out of my bottle of water. Mine's a mega bottle, so I shouldn't do that. I literally got asthma. I was like, can you please Google if this is bad to keep taking this? I don't think it is. You don't want to take laxatives. Right. I had to-- I only took those at first. Because I was so scared to poop that I had to. And they didn't work. So then I did other things. How did you beat the laxative? I was terrified to poop. It's like people who go on trips and never go to the bathroom, because they only like to go on their, like, at home. And they go on an international trip and come back seven days later and have never pooped. That's crazy to me. That would hurt so bad. Yeah. I was eating typhoon. And I was trying to go afterwards, and I could not. Oh, my belly hurt so bad. Oh, sad. That was just, yeah. I had a lot of poopies. I always get scared too after, and then I do it. And I'm like, oh, that didn't hurt at all. Because of the stool softers. I also had the hemorrhoids such as that. Yeah, I heard it. It didn't hurt at all. Oh, dang. Mine didn't hurt. It said hurt it. Best feeding sequence move. Yes. So you can go and smooth. He's a good eater. Good. And that's-- yeah, it feels a lot more natural this time around. Yeah, I still have, like, a lot of milk, but I'm trying to do things now to, like, start, like, today. I nurse him without a hawkah. Wow, that's good. Which is a big step for me. Yeah. I started that at two weeks. I was, like, I will do one feeding a day without a hawkah. And then the next feeding, but I just did. There's just so many clogs. I can feel that. I was like, you got it. Release that. He did. He does a great job. I'm like, this is very impressive. Yeah. I didn't realize that was a thing to, like, decrease your milk supply. It's not even a hawkah. It increases it. Yeah, it can increase it. Yeah, because it does have a suction. Now you can just not suction it for that hard. So, like, I'll sometimes just catch the initial let down and then just, like, keep it on really loosely or take it off. But, yeah, it does create a, it's kind of, it's like a semi-wrestled pump. Yeah. I used it to try to keep my supply up, because I don't oversupply or anything. So, I used it for a while to keep my supply up. Did you use that, like, the typical hawkah? Or have you seen the ladybug one? I just had the one, the original one, from my first, I just keep using that. But people really like the ladybug. Can you fit the regular one, like, in a bra? Absolutely not. No. No, it's-- I had to. I can't, I can't. I have to picture this mic, just seriously. I had a length to do that with the ladybug, because she kept kicking it off. And I'm like, I could just tuck it in my shirt. Smart. So, then it doesn't-- I can't picture that. I mean, it's like a wearable pump. It looks like, but it-- Yeah, it's just a little suction-to-same. Oh. It doesn't have as much room for it. How much can it get? Two to three ounces, what's that? That's good. - That's a good amount, so I got the hang of it. - I think something that I was really pleasantly surprised with because I was really dreading nursing the second time around. I was like, "Oh, here we go again." And the minute she was born, it just so instinctually comes back and you're like, "Oh, this is great. "I'm so glad she's doing it, like I want to." - It's fun. - Yeah, it becomes fun again. And then when you get out of it, then you're like, "Oh, I don't want to do that again." But then you go back into it, it's just like when you're in it, you get excited for it. And you're so grateful and you think it is beautiful, you know? - I'm so grateful with older kids that we have, we can do this because it's flexible. - It's flexible, but also I'm like, I am forced to sit down and snuggle you all throughout the day. And only I can do that. And I think that's really good to have 'cause otherwise I could just keep moving. - That's all day long. - I felt the same way. I said, "I'm so grateful that I'm forced to sit down "and hold her for 45 minutes at a time." Because otherwise I would just sit her down on a pillow and be taken care of everything else else to be taken care of. It's just so easy too. - So it's kind of beautiful like I made that way. - Seriously. - Oh my good, good, good. I'm forced to hold my baby. - Yeah. - I mean, when did you start? I know you used your nipple shield in the hospital. Did you do it on like your first feed? - No. - Or when did you start that? - No. I mean, I didn't like. - 'Cause I feel like they usually figured out that very first time. - They do. All my babies have done a great golden first feed and second, third, but then I eventually, no, I think what happens is they get really ticked off because it's not flowing yet. And they are hungry. And so, then I just use the nipple shield and then I just keep using it because I like it. - Yeah, no. - When did you introduce the nipple shield? - Well, the first Vivian latched so easily, which CJ never did. So that first day, I was like, "Oh, I don't think I need one." But, sorry, lady. She ripped them girls up so bad. They were bleeding. They were, I got scared of her. So, I'm sure cry, I was like, "No, don't bring her to me." Like, I didn't want to latch her because it hurt so bad. And I didn't cuss my entire labor. She latched and I cussed pretty loud. Killed was like, "Really? That's what got you." I was like, "I'm literally going to punch you in the balls." So you know what this feels like? Like, I was so scared. So I gave her formula until they healed that day. And then that night, I used the shield. Today, all the girls were talking about, like, upside-down, the hospital gave them formula whenever. And I was like, "No, I was like, "Please bring in the formula." Because I'm so scared of my child. You're like, "I ordered it." Yeah, but that was just for like a couple of fees until they kind of calmed down. And then I latched her with the nipple shields that night. - John Trump. - Yeah. I was like, "John Trump." - Which is so funny because the lactation came in when I was feeding him. And then she was like, "Umm, I was like." - It's all of it. - It's all of it. - It's all of it. - This is my third child, she goes. - Well, like, how long did you use it with both them? And I was like, "I hear." - I hear. (laughing) - It's about a whole calendar year. - I feel like 12 months. - And she was like, "Oh, well, you know, "we really don't recommend it." 'Cause it's a barrier between you and your baby. I was like, "Mm-hmm." Just a thing, just enough of a barrier. - I know. - Like, you know what? - I kind of like it. - You're like, exactly. - There's a barrier between me and my baby. (laughing) - I was like, "We are pretty close." And you actually think about it. (laughing) She's like, "It can decrease your supply." I was like, "Excellent." - You said, "God, a problem for me." - I was like, "We need a little less." (laughing) - We need a little less around here. - I'm glad she told you, 'cause, you know, some people probably don't know, but. - Yeah, no, she did tell me the entire job. - She also didn't. I really asked if I wanted her to come in. - I think I did ask for the lactation consultant with Vivian because her latch wasn't screwed up and they were really helpful. They helped me. They also go like this. "Okay, if you can't watch this, I'm sorry." But they go, "Okay, ready?" She's hungry. (laughing) - Sharp face on there. - Thank you. - And the kelp and I go, like shocked. - I literally asked and I was like, "Can he breathe?" - I know. - Yeah, I was like, "It looks like he can come into your room." - It's amazing. - I was in my labor and delivery room in the lactation consultant came in. - After I delivered. - No. - With the first time where I was eating the lactation consultant was in there. - I was really grateful for my lactation consultant both times. I know it's like, sometimes people are finding me. - The first time I was so happy they had them there 'cause I had nobody do it to do. - I had no clothes just trying to, I was just like putting her head here. I'm like, "You need to hold it." - I don't know what to do. - Yeah. - But I had no idea she was just gonna hang on it. - Yeah. (laughing) - I was like, "You need to hold your baby." - Yeah. (laughing) - You have to hold your, you move up to that. But I'm like, "Oh, sorry." - The both times they had to teach me how to do it. I was like, "I don't remember this." But then after that, I was like, "Put the shield on." (laughing) - How was your first night alone with all three? - It was, okay, well first of all, we kind of took back what we said we were gonna do postpartum, did I kind of say that? - I was having them stay with your mom and dad. - Yeah, they stayed for a few nights. - No, actually, yeah, it wasn't very long. I just needed all my birds and my nests. - Yeah. - And so then we just like cut it off. And then it was early on, we're like, "Okay, we're diving into the deep end here." And all three boys woke up with the first night. - Oh, in the middle of the night? - Yeah. - Okay. - All three. - Perfect. - Obviously they were crying. - They hear fish are crying, or they just woke up. - No, they had their own things. - Perfect. - They had their own issues. That all had to be sorted. And I was like, "Wow, okay, this is one of those moments." Where I was like, "We are our capacity of stretching. "We are growing." But that was a little panicky, 'cause I was like, "Oh my goodness." Like the variables are increasing of what's gonna interrupt my night sleep. And so that was just a little bit, it wasn't nearly as overwhelming as I would have thought it was gonna be. - Yeah. - But I think at that point, you're like, "Okay, well, here we go." - Right. - It buckle up, because it's gonna be a long ride. But, you know, you figure it out, and we're both tired. I was like, "Quickly, I realized I was like, "Matt, you gotta do the big boys. "I got the baby. "We gotta just, I'll see you in the morning." Like, type of thing. He still helps with the nighttime feed, which is great. So like, I still have to pump at the end of the day because I just, he cannot drink this much milk. He literally cannot. At that night pump, it's literally only two hours after I fed him, and I always get like 10 ounces. And so I'm like-- - I've never gotten 10 ounces ever in a row. - He has two hours after feeding him, too. And it just builds up through the day. So I'm like, "I need to do that for now." And so then he'll give him a bottle, and then he'll give him, that's before we go to bed, and then he'll give him the first bottle in the night. And then I'm like, "You go." Because we will be up a couple more times, and then they'll for sure be up. They're early risers. So it's just like, honestly, a lot of like, divide and conquering, which is kind of fun. 'Cause I'm like, "Yeah, it is." We're a team, and we're making it all happen. And sometimes I'm like, "Oh my gosh, you're gonna go." - I know. - It's absolute, you captain. - Yeah, good luck. - Because then we convene in the morning at like, say, "For you, man, we're like-- - You're the night. - Like, you're the night. - Everyone alive, we're alive, incredible. And this was the rule we made. First of all, I made the rule that he could never say he was tired. I did that, and I was like, "Okay, I'll tell someone else." - I should have made that rule. - That's a fair rule. - Yeah, that's a good one. - I got a little annoyed, and I was like, I started to compare then. And when he was, I was like, "You're not fairing well." 'Cause I'm pretty sure that I'm adding up what I got, and I'm adding up what you got. And I'm like, "I'm not so healing." So then I made that rule for him, he took it well. And then I also made the rule for myself. I can say I'm tired one time. He will hand me a cup of coffee. And then I'm not gonna say it anymore. - Smart. - And I was like, "It works." - Yeah, that's good. - I think I might have broken that rule yesterday when I got the nighttime scaries. I was like, "I'm just so tired, I'm scared." And he's like, he's like, "You go in the guest bedroom." So I went in the guest bedroom after the first beat. And then I got three hours of uninterrupted sleep. - New woman. - I felt incredible at 4am when I saw him. I was like, "Thank you so much." - Yeah, because he's loud, he's loud, baby. And so, yeah, that was our rule. And I think it's worked out really well. I encourage everyone to set that rule with your husband. - I should have set that rule. - Draw that boundary. - I just set up a new rule that I wanted to, or I'm not a rule. - I just set up a new rule for my husband. - I could think about this where, because Blake works at in-person job, I prioritized his sleep over mine. I don't think I'm gonna do that this time. - I love him so much. But I think my sleep is important too. So I'm gonna work on that. - I did prioritize him. - I gave myself permission to work on that. - I did prioritize Caleb's sleep, 'cause he would wake up at 4am to go to work. - That's crazy. - I know, but then I was a mess. So I don't know, maybe we could just both equally be a little more messy, but less messy. - Yes. Oh yeah, drag them into it. - I know, I just felt bad. I mean, he would feed her at 4am with a bottle after a couple of weeks, but, you know, before your milk supply kind of levels out, I didn't want to give up a night feed because it felt, oh I still wake up to pump when he does that. - See, that to me just felt silly. I was like, why would I wake up to pump when I should, I could just do this. - Oh, because it's so quick for me to eat a bottle. And then it takes a long time in nurse, I know. - Well, I would never do this switching thing. - I didn't do it. - I didn't do it. - Some people would like to eat it too. - I didn't do it, didn't give the baby off. Like to have their husband put the baby back down. - Yeah, I like that. - I never did that. - I just stayed away the whole time. I'm like, why would I wake him up to do that? - Just to change the diaper. - I know, let me just do it in five seconds and put the baby back to his bed. But everyone did it differently. - Oh no, I might get them involved. - We'll see if I stick to that or not. - That was what would take me off though is that I would do all the feed and then Caleb was like, I'm tired. I was like, I'm sorry. - I don't know. - Don't say that to me. And he's like, I'm a lot of be tired, Abby. And I was like, yes, you're just not allowed to talk to me about it. You know what I'm like? - I'm like, you're not allowed to stay up till midnight. - So that's a good rule. - And then be tired. I know he would wake up, but I was like I just I don't want to hear it. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it Do you like tell literally anybody else tell everyone else except Yeah, make that rule and you know what? I think that helped a lot because before I was like listen to you I just feel like I know because they are tired. They're getting woke up Yeah, my is waiting out with me for sure, but it's just you're like it's just not the same level And now I'm being bitter. I don't want to be bitter. I said well, does your vagina hurt? Okay, I don't want a dog. I don't want a dog. We love them. I know and no Matt has been so helpful That's what I'm saying like I might he's up with me too, but I know I'm also like we just can't We can't hold we can't keep score. No, but the level is aren't equal. That is a grounds. Those are fighting words I know postpartum. They are they're fighting words. Yeah, and so we just need to know that We're talking to bring it up. No, that's worked out really well. Yeah, that's a good rule Um, do you want to share any embarrassing postpartum stories that you have? Well, we can share one on our main and we'll share the rest on patreon because Okay, I think that'll be a fun patreon segment. Let's go What's your what's your first one? No, what's yours? Okay, this is funny um Our friend Val that you're gonna be next week or that you met last week her husband came to drop off a meal with CJ and I don't know why they we they were sick so they weren't gonna come in so I didn't have pants on Uh-huh. It's not sitting on the couch and I just had a big link to they had a baggy t-shirt on And Lewis heard sparking my mom opens the door wide open day walks in with the food And he's like, well, I'll just bring it in. I'm literally sitting there with no pants on just like this Hey, I was so scared. What were you wearing? I don't know. I think I was wearing like a diaper Yeah, I was for sure because it was pretty fresh after and they dropped off a meal And I was just saying they're on the couch in my diaper and a t-shirt and he's very gracious and said he didn't like notice But certainly he had to know that I didn't have pants on Yeah, it's like fine if it's your girlfriend's but someone's your friend's husband. That feels weird Yeah, so I'm parents This is after CJ. Yeah, that's something like a whole shoot Just hanging out in your diaper It's like I really should wear pants. Why not take as I hate the diapers I had the hospital diaper on too. So it was even thinner. I don't like them. I don't like them as soon as I could get uh A regular pad on yeah, I was like please no better. I didn't like that it wasn't They're loose they're loose That's something you don't expect When I wear him against so much I thought he like bit you Oh Oh my god, I wear him. It's so much worse. Yeah, it's a strong glad down. They're out here right now. Do you remember the wind of dawn? That's what it is. This is so crazy right now. I'm sorry. We could pause to pee. No, I think you get you don't expect this you get letdowns when you don't need them He don't want to eat. He's so happy. He honestly, this is what you also don't expect if you get it like a baby can like It what's the word like engage a like like start initiate a letdown. Yeah, and then just decide they don't want to eat and they're just like yeah And you're like And I'll just see there's like a little bump coming and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, no And then he'll just do something like like it's it started and then he goes the little sucklings. Then just sleep His eyes are open. He's just like You're crazy. You're psycho You're psycho You said you wanted some you order this I love it. Okay. Well, it is. Oh, it's gonna be yours. No, did I have I ever shared this one on the podcast? This is one of my embarrassing if I started to share that we could change it, but um, I was Freshly see sectioned with my second and I'm in a really compromising state in that bathroom You know with the postpartum nurse. You're like just they're basically wiping you like putting pads on for you um There's a lot of Yeah, a lot of grooming going on with your private parts. Uh-huh, and she Bless her. She's like, I've watched your videos for a really long time In the bathroom in the bathroom Yeah, that's so funny. I was like thank you so much Yeah, that's sweet, but you're that is a little embarrassing. I was embarrassed. It's a little vulnerable. I was like maybe You watch my videos and my vagina I was like never comment on anything. Don't tell people what it looks like. Please. I'm scared. I don't even know what it looks like right now I haven't seen that thing in months. Honestly, though. What a testament to her. She's like unfazed by it Yeah, that's the thing. I think that I'm I'm shocked by how casual all this stuff is for those labor. Uh-huh. Of course it is. They do this all day every day And I'm like, why am I who might be embarrassed right now? You've seen so many who might think mine is that special? Yeah, but it will stand out to you. Right, right But it doesn't right. Yeah, but everything is normal, right Actually trending up What are the better ones you've seen? There's a good fluffy up Um, so yeah, that was embarrassing for me. Yeah, I was like, oh, thank you But you know what? That's just her day. That's just her Monday afternoon. Totally. So That was funny. That is funny. Never comment publicly on anything I love it Thank you to Magic Spoon for sponsoring this portion of the day's episode Magic Spoon just figured out how you can turn treats into something you can actually feel good about eating if you love sweet snacks But hate the sugar crash. 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I'm like, I just need a little something and these don't only cure that sweet tooth Hankering but they also are satiating because they have all the protein and none of the things that are going to make you feel Not good and not ready to tackle the rest of your day And if you already know magic spoon for their cereal, yep, that's still iconic There high protein zero sugar cereal brings all the childhood nostalgia with none of the sugar bomb I have to be honest with you my kids literally had their peanut butter cereal this morning for breakfast And I felt great about it magic spoon is easy to find too Just look for magic spoon at grocery retailers nationwide and if you haven't tried them yet Check out their magic spoon treats a high protein low sugar take on the cereal bars you grew up with You can get five dollars off your next order at magic spoon dot com slash Abby That's magic spoon dot com slash Abby for five dollars off ask ask ask Abby Hi Abby's and Abby lovely podcast um just wanted to call and see what your like Irrational fear is um something silly like for example mine is mold So I have an irrational fear of mold so I'd love to hear what your guys is. It's love the pond path I accidentally pass my irrational fear down Well that the ceiling fan is gonna come down. They they cannot sleep Even if it comes down they could have heard that bad. Well actually I know some of it happened. Oh shut What? What? One of our friends it happened to them and I was like Matt my irrational fear happened It came down in their kids room and what happened they I mean he was okay. Okay, but It was bad on the kids. Oh scary. Imagine that guys And I'm like and Matt would always tell me because one of our fans in one of our old apartments was just like I think and I was like Matt. I fixed that. I was like tight in it. I'm already Hungry. The most well-fast and fan will still freak me out with that one It's just really actively tipping. I was like you're out of diet I can't sleep with it on and he wouldn't tighten it because he doesn't know how He's like I wonder if I could So that's my irrational fear that my ceiling fans are coming down. That's a good one I have a lot of irrational fears and for the moment I can't think of a single one of them for you. They all feel rational. They all do I could think of my mom's because she isn't many of them. I could think of Matt's My mom used to like if okay. Why was this a thing? It was raining outside in Thunderstorming. She'd be like shower fast before you get Electrocuted like We'd be in the house showering and if there was a lightning storm or a thunderstorm She would be like get out of the shower sometimes Does that make any sense? It's just never heard that. I know it doesn't make any sense I think it kind of can happen, but also what are the odds? What is the odds? You should avoid taking a shower or a bath during a thunderstorm because lightning can travel through a home's plumbing system Okay, but you're telling me it's gonna go through the plumbing system into my shower drain and then through the water and here hit me? One time to one person that happened to one person. That's a crazy irrational fear stats. I used to have a lot of rational fears. Acid brain. Do you guys know mine? Flash blood. What was yours? Getting locked in a bathroom stall. Oh, yeah. Oh, and it happened to a little girl in our cruise and I felt so bad. Oh, stuck on a lot of night. That one happens to me. I hate elevators as is. So that's like any time they'll walk like. I get scared. Outdoor elevators really scare me. Yeah, I mean, I just have a lot of dumb ones. Like, I can stem a lot of them back to my childhood. Um, falling on a knife like in the dishwasher. I don't know, just like, oh, like flicking the light switches. Yeah, I'm like, that's gonna start a fire. Oh, wait, is that true? Can you actually look that up? Because Matt and I were just talking about it because I told our kids that I could start a fire and Matt goes, is that true? And I said, I don't know my mom always told me that. It's gonna be that too, but I also could think easier. It's flashing light. I mean, don't you have to have the condition for that to do it? Yeah, that's why you properly wired electrical system normal turning on and off. Even rapidly will not. That was doing that when he was bringing them to bed. He was telling them a story and it involves light effects. Lighting. You're like, stop. That's why I wanted to watch a bedtime story. It was like, your stories remind me of. So it's like going back and forth and going, you're gonna make a fire dad. And he's like, you told the kids, I was like, I thought it good. Um, back to your question, an estimate 10 to 20 people in the United States are shocked or injured each year. Oh, well, bathing, using faucets or handling appliances during a time. That's a risk you can take. I feel like, yeah, 20 out of how many million. How many people, how many people live in the US? I love and believe in the whole world. She's laughing. Once you guess the population of the population of the United States would have been 200 million. And then he said, like, a billion. I thought you were saying, 125 billion. We're the third largest country by population behind India and China. I used to think my flash flood worries were irrational. And then I looked up videos of flash floods and then I said, that's actually Arizona. Yeah, scary. Yeah, they're pretty. I am just in general scared of heights. So I could go on for a day to rush over here. You're scared of things that move fast. That is one. Thank you. I don't like playing out of control of my body. Oh, there you go. So when I start to go fast, I start to bail. And that's not safe to do when you're going fast. That's why we need to snowboard together. Yeah, I know. I'll go very slow. Hi, Abby, Abby and Addy. My name is Lily. And I've never been a trader Joe's before, but I just moved in my college dorm room and then a trader Joe's literally five minutes away. So I want to go. But again, I've never been so tell me what are your top things that I should get and try from trader Joe's. Thank you so much. And I love the podcast. Lily, Lily, there's a clear top two. Lily, get your pen of paper ready, girl. Do you go down the clear top? The yellow tape chips in the sublime. Sublime. Yes, you also need to get the Greek yogurt guacamole. Yeah, well, we like the guacamole salsa. That's what it is. But it's got Greek yogurt. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then you've got to get the catch, Joey Pepe puffs. Yeah, I mean, you need to get the catch, Joey Pepe, Noki, the Super Tato Noki. Super Tato Noki. You need to get fries for breakfast. We have to have fries and cash, but you have to get the orange chicken. Orange chicken fried rice won't really work at a dorm. The fried rice is good and elite. You need to get, let's go to the desserts. You should get some vanilla bean Joe Joe's. Just to try them. Oh, they're candy selection. Oh, about this Scandinavian story. Scandinavian story. The sour kind in a regular kind. I like them better. You have to get their dog chocolate. Yeah. Around Christmas time, you have to get the box of jingle jingle. Jingle, jingle. I mean, oh, you have to get the salt and pepper crinkle cut potato chips, best potato chip of my entire life. Yeah, I mean, should I keep going? I like their wine country chicken salad. All their cheeses are fantastic. I love their honey Greek. I mean, long list honey Greek yogurt. Get to get a crinkle. It's fun to just get yourself a little budget and just go and just walk out the aisle. Mate had, I really want to try them. Those cookie dough ice cream bites. Oh my gosh. Did you try them? Yeah, I shared them on my story. Unbelievable. They're still there. I don't know. I bought them one time and I said, it's actually me and how small they made that bag. It was one serving. Yeah, then there were like 12 pieces in there. I need 12 dozen. Those look amazing. So good. Yeah, I get those to cookie dough ice cream bites. Hopefully they make that a permanent. I honestly also like the cookies and cream ice cream sandwiches. Maybe even a little better. They're so good. Yeah, you always say that, but you like Oreos. So that review. I do like Oreos. You need to try them then. Abby, they're so good. Cookies and cream ice cream is just always a little disappointing to me. It's an ice cream cookie sandwich. Right. You would like these. This is a great example of Abby. Just she just blocked something out as a no in her way. Hi, Abby's and Abby, you guys always look so thinking cute in your workout clothes. And I just want to know what are some of your favorite brands? Thank you. Lululemon. Lululemon. Yes. I like vitality. I love my gifted vitality. I love my gifted apple. Oh, yeah. The ones I bought probably Amazon. But my gifted sets are my favorite. I know. Good one. Another good one too, that a lot of people on time was beyond yoga. I would say it'd be mindful like what you're workout you're doing in them. But their material is amazing. And they're really well made. Beyond yoga. To be honest, I don't ever buy Edwards. I'm from Lululemon. Yeah. I actually have a couple sets from Sinitas that I really like and I love working out in them. I don't know if they're still a company though or not. They came back, I think. But are they still around? I haven't heard about them since that it was kind of an odd transition. I don't know. Lululemon then got re-bought and then so I don't know. Yeah, look into that. But I like the sets that I wear like that like sagey green one that I wore. Yeah, yeah. So really comfortable. I will say the fabric gives me bump pimples but it looks good. Dang it. It's not breathable. So don't call me else. I don't like all of it. I have to say I don't like all of it. I would say don't do it. And it's so expensive too. You're like, you want it. You kind of want it to be really nice. Not. I have one pair of shorts from Viori that were so expensive but they're so nice. I was having conversations with some of Viori. I think it's just not made for my body type. Yeah. Tall and slender because I have some tall slender friends like amazing in Viori. And then I tried it on. I was like, I was going to their store and nothing jumps out at me. Like I'm not like anything looks, but then when people wear it, I'm like they look amazing. That looks really good. They don't want to go on the store. I don't. Yeah. Maybe I'm just not chic. That's a great question. Thanks for the compliment. That's really sweet. Also, maybe you're not seeing me work out enough because I would rough a lot of the times that I show up. No, you don't. Yes, I do. No, you don't. I always think fun of you when you wear that thong outfit. Yeah. Everyone does. And I'm still going to wear it. It looks like I'm a thong out. I'm not sure. It's the shorts that have a contrast line straight the whole way down the butt crack and it looks like a thong. And once I ever saw it once, I couldn't unsee it. No, you should wear it. Matt told me not. He's like, you probably shouldn't wear those out. I said, I'm just going to wear these around the house. That's it, Mia. Every time I see it, I'm like the thong. Sorry. No, it's a cute set though. Okay. That wraps up voicemail. Thanks for the questions, guys. If you guys want to call and leave a voicemail, the number is 6024569690. Love hearing you guys. Just ask questions and call in so special. And thank you for taking the time to think of questions and ask seriously. So fun. Always hungry. These banana muffins. I haven't made them in a while, but they are a delicious banana muffin. It's not a healthy banana muffin. But if you're not looking for that, don't make healthy muffins or bread. I know. Just don't get it. We got to put the full sugar. You need sugar. You need full sugar in there. These banana muffins are amazing. And they have a crumb sugar topping. That's just delicious and electable. And if you have old bananas, it's a really easy recipe that hits every time. I just made some full sugar banana bread. Oh, it's so good. It's delicious. Have I put my turkey chili recipe before I could, I was going back and forth. I was like, I don't know if I can't. Okay. Disregard the fact that I have to be so honest with you. I got this recipe for my mom. And she sent me in the title was, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Yeah, I think you have sure this have I - Okay, zero point turkey chili. - We're getting into the fall, you can turn it. - Yeah, share it again. - Okay, so if you're on weight watchers and zero points, I don't follow any diet. This is a high protein chili, I will say. Like there are so many beans, so it's turkey, it's so easy, but I'm in an era now where I'm gonna be using my crock pot again because it just feels like the only way I'm ever gonna, my meal transcended it in, guys. And I'm like, what do we do? What do we do? - crock pot. And then a lot of crock pot recipes and use ingredients that I don't necessarily wanna cook with on the reg, canned soups, full blocks of cream cheese. We talked about this. - They're delicious, they are delicious, but just can't be eating that every day. That's, yeah, I kinda want something different from my dinner. - Right. - And this one will be a high protein and it's, you can make it on the stove too, but you could also make it ahead and stick it in your crock pot. And it's literally just beans. It's so flavorful though. Like I really like this. It's a little spicy, so maybe peel it back if you're gonna be cooking it for your kids. My kids love this. - Yeah. - Also, in fact, they love this so much that when we took them to Chili's for the first time, they were so disappointed 'cause they thought they were getting here shortly. - Chili. (laughing) - And I was like, "Mom, I'm so, I'm so, I'm so flattered that you guys were really hoping it was mom's chili. And Chili's, that's cute. - It's really good. I like to dress it up too. I like cheese, sour cream. - I love chili. - I love it. - We're from the Midwest, okay? We love it, Chili. - I got really addicted to making Chili after I discovered that I actually liked beans and I stopped living the lie that I was allergic. I used to tell people that I was allergic to any of that. - Well, that's a lie. - I knew you had a bean thing. - Yeah. And I used to make beanless chili. And then I was like, this is just marinara sauce. (laughing) - You're eating meat sauce. - Yeah. - I would add like veggies. People were like, "I've never had carrots and a chili before." (laughing) - You just were freeing it? - Yeah, I don't know what it was. So, anyway, after I said I had beans, I got addicted and then I haven't made it in a while. - That's special. - I expert myself out. - Yeah. (laughing) - If you guys wouldn't mind leaving us a review. - Be so nice. - Be so nice. - So nearly nice. Capri, Capri sent 29 said, "Comfort show, five stars." I love listening to this podcast. I feel inspired by the way they aspire to be good moms, wives, and friends. It makes me want to be a better person. That's really sweet. - I feel a little bad. I feel like I kind of dogged on Caleb's episode. Did I talk bad about him? - We all kind of dogged on our husbands and they said, "I'm sorry." - Yeah. - I know. - I'm sorry they say, "I'm tired." - Yeah, I did dog on them, but I'll tell you what. - We love our husbands. - We love our children. - We love having babies. And also, I said this once a year. - Yeah, I hope this episode wasn't negative. Like, I don't want people to walk away feeling like discouraged about push part of them or motherhood. 'Cause that's never our goal with this podcast. We always want to put things in a light that, even though things are hard, there's hope and humor. - Hope and the hard. - Yeah. - You're just giving people expectations. - Things to know a little bit more. - I know. I just feel like there's so much negative talk around motherhood and pregnancy already. That's sometimes I don't want to add to it. - I said this one on plant, but I really want to say this here too, because it's just been on my heart so much recently that I just have so much gratitude that this is literally what I get to call my job. It's insane, like that's ridiculous. Honestly, when you really think about it, like the whole time that we've done social media, which has been like, at this point, like almost seven years, like the whole point has been for this, like the opportunity that it has given me with my husband, and then our children, like the fact that I get to literally just be sitting here talking to my sister in laws, wearing my baby, and like, this is work, right? Put on quote, and I'm just, that gift has shaped postpartum for me so much, because I just keep thinking about all the moms out there that have to figure out how to juggle going back to work so quickly after this, and it literally just like, it makes me just, makes me sad if that's not what you want to do. And I'm just so grateful that I'm able to like, have this option in my postpartum state, and like, with my kids in my house, with my sister in laws, like that gift is not lost on me, and I get that because of you guys. So I just really, really want to drive home how, like, grateful I am for you, like, tuning in and listening. Whether this is your first episode, or you listen to all of 'em, or you listen to 'em plan, or you've watched our YouTube, like, all these things, like wherever you, like, came along, and maybe you left and came back, like, I just am so grateful for your interaction, and like, giving me this gift, because it is. I will enjoy it for as long as I can, the fact that this is what I get to do, and like, be with my family, be with my kids so much so. Thank you for that, and I think that's what we're saying, especially in the postpartum episode, because like, this is literally work and postpartum. Like, what a gift, so. Well said, Abby, thanks for saying that. That's perfect. - We're so grateful for you guys, we appreciate you, and remember, we're always here. (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]