Popaganda Revisited: Queering Family Values

[MUSIC PLAYING] Hello! You've reached the message with me, Ali. I'm me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galley's in need. Whether you're questioning to bury a hamster for your bestie, or your psychic is a little too on the nose. This is the podcast for you. Welcome back. I'm seeing the psychic today. [GASPS] Yeah, this is-- Oh my god. Four o'clock. I have your calendars. So I have literally given that woman so much business. My mom's going to see her. Is she? She was going to see her. My mom was like, how do I make sure she doesn't look me up? And I was like, obviously, change your WhatsApp name. Yeah, fine. Obviously. But also, I just think like-- This is what I mean. If you have to-- if that's going to make you feel better, like, I don't have to do that. Yeah. But if that's what helps you believe it, then-- Yes, fine. Yeah, good. You know? My mom met that woman the other day. But I said, what was that about? Oh, I've got a present for you from my mom. Don't let me forget. She went to the shop. I love you. She loved you. And to this shop in Stowe on the World, which, by the way, guys, is so trendy nowadays. Like, what's the crack? Like, when I was growing up, Stowe was not cool. Now, everyone's like, well, coming there for weekends away romantic trips. And like, mine bars. I don't know. That's like Brixton. Do you know what I mean? There was just pockets that used to just be like, no one gave a shit about. And now everyone wants to live there, yeah. So anyway, there was this new-- shop that my mom was in anyway. The woman that owns it is a little witchy. Is she actually witchy? Well, who knows? But my mom was talking about buying us presents. Right. Speaking code. Yes. And she was based on what's been going on. She was, yes. And she was like buying us presents. And the woman out of nowhere said to mom, is everything OK? Yeah. And my mom was like, oh, my mom's like, overshare her. She's a scalpser. She's like, oh, gosh, no. This is the other day. The other day, this week. Right. OK. And anyway, the woman then gives her this wax melt and says that she's put a spell on the wax melt and that we need to sit and put the wax melt in the tea light underneath and let it burn. And then the spell will apparently cast-- When we're going to do this. Well, exactly. We're going to put it in the diary tomorrow. Yeah. We've got three days. And then her sister also does soul reading. I don't quite know what that was. Did she do soul reading? I haven't done the soul reading. I've got the card for the soldier. It's all reading. I'll honestly do it all at this point. So, yes, she must be a little witch. It must run in the family. Oh my god, we've got-- I'm not joking. Let's block out two hours for that wax melt. Yeah. Yeah, for the spirit of the world. Yeah, yeah. And you have to sit there and do chanting and stuff. And mom said she was very serious about it. The wax-- like she was explained to mom like exactly what happened and like what spell she'd cast on the wax melt. And then she said, take the wax melt to your daughter. Wow. Yeah, so anyway, lots of psychics are-- I don't think people really like know just how witchy we are. Like we would make major decisions based on like spirit guides, psychics, terror reading. The moon. We would, 100%. Yeah. Oh, honestly, at this point, even my Metro horoscope-- Oh. I make some serious decisions based on that. To be honest, those ones don't do it for me. Really? I like the one on Instagram. I like the ones on TikTok. Thank you. That they're like no hashtags. You'll only see this if it's meant for you. Yeah, Olivia keeps engaging with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then she sends them and then I feel like I have to watch them to the end. Do you remember all those things on Facebook? Guys, oh my god, also, Facebook, who? I love Facebook at the moment. What are you doing on Facebook? Checking? Who? And who haven't had babies? Oh, yeah, I know. Everyone from school also is a legend. Who's still posting on Facebook? All of them. Everyone I went to school with. There must be something to do with the Kotsel School. They're all on there giving me their life updates. Their first baby, second babies. Where do you see them? I actually, that to me is too much. Imagine seeing, imagine having two babies. Imagine seeing a girl in your year with three babies. It's overwhelming as what it is. It's overwhelming. It makes you think, are we the same age? Are we living on the same age? Well, it's time just moving slower for me. No, I just think, I really do think this a lot. We just had a different start in life. We had a later start. Much, much later. It's like there's a time difference between the Kotsel School and London. Genuinely, yeah. And I'm just a bit behind you. But like, yeah, because people in small towns, small villages, rural areas, they, you know, their life starts. This is obviously a beautiful thing, but their life does start when they get married and have children and then they can make a home where it's like, our life starts when we get rich and baby. Like, priorities. Yeah. Exactly. Yes, I know, but I do find it fascinating. And then I think it's so weird actually, because I kind of want to comment and be like, oh, congrats. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. That's what you mean. So I don't know why I would do that. But anyway, something a lovely time of day. I have that with the weddings a lot. Even on Instagram, because like a lot of my school friends are now starting to get married, obviously, with 30. And I'm like, you're a team bride. Tis in my eyes. Honestly, Tis on my guitar. Tis on my guitar. Tis on my fucking guitar. Car believe it. And I want to always comment, like girls, like, even year below, and I'm like, yeah, I want to comment being like, oh my god, congrats. Like, what the fuck? I know. Obviously, I don't do that. No, obviously not. That would be more fun. Well, I'll tell you some interesting. Well, we're looking at it from that way. Yeah. Nige. Her real name is not Nige, but she likes to be anonymous. She is like my best friend from school. I've known her for 15 years. And she is friends with all the people that I wasn't friends with, because she, everyone liked her. So I get all of my gossip secondhand from her. Nige saw one girl that we went to school with, who, me and her to be honest, were like, no, I wouldn't say we were sworn enemies. We weren't the best of friends. I had a lot of sworn enemies. So she's going to say one of many, she was like a mean girl, even me, no than me, if you can believe it. Well, then that is true. Anyway, Nige and her were in the same house. And like, Nige, really, you've got a free path. Everyone loved her. And no one was mean to her. I don't really know why. Because Nige is like the most authentic person you've ever been. You can't hate her. It's impossible to hate that girl. It's fully impossible, because she just lives on her own planet. Yeah, by her own rulebook. Yeah. So they went for dinner and this girl, let's call her Patricia. Thank you. She was like, oh my god, like, obviously, had been watching every single thing I done. And she was like, well, Ali and G, and I was like, God, isn't that interesting? That people watch you as well as you watch them. I said-- And not just watch, like, in my new detail. Like, she knew, oh my god, and then I saw that they did the bridge. Like, just like specific stuff. And I was like, God, it's so weird when you're like, so you're looking at other people, but then you forget. Yes. Well, it's far less pervy when it's a two-way street, which is great. I agree. Because then you think, oh, that's OK. We're all watching each other. We're all just engaging in our own ways. It is weird. I know. Social media is so weird, because imagine, like, all of those people, there is no reason for me to know that they've had a second baby, and I, for me, to know that, right? There's literally no reason for me to-- And in the order days, you wouldn't know that. Of course you wouldn't. Or you'd get, like, a buy-the-buy, the buy, you know, like a kind of like-- Be gossip. Yes. That's why I love seeing people who don't post, because I'm like, tell me everything. Yes. They go, "Saw like my cousins at the weekend, and they don't really post." So I'm like, what's the 410? Tell me what you're up to, what you're into. Yeah. Buy rocks, great. Love it. You know what I mean? I'm like, I should have to see you to find out myself. To know stuff. But you don't. No, but come on, the people that really can deliver on the Instagrams. There are some people that I might could do with a bit more information about. Why so silent? Oh, listen, I wouldn't have any other work. I don't want anyone to stop. Especially on Facebook. Like, I forget, like the status is. Like when people write like full questions, I'm like, brilliant news. I know. Brilliant to know what's just happened there. I love it. Or even like about like-- Have you ever had LinkedIn? LinkedIn is actually-- Honestly. [LAUGHS] No, but like, you don't engage. I have LinkedIn on my phone. I still get the notifications. I like to see when this person's moving to Singapore for their job promotion. You know, I haven't had anything. I love that shit, because that's actually where the most embarrassing stuff is, because people have to pretend to give a fuck about it. Yeah, and you have to actually write like the full chat GPT, like, you know, the full kind of load out. This was the most exciting week so far at our amazing stuff. Like, it's just hilarious. I love that stuff. I actually should get LinkedIn. I always think that what people must think. But if we filled in our LinkedIn like normal people, that would be so weird. What would you write? Sorry. [SCREAMS] So silent. So sweet. Guy, I'll tell you what, I'm so fucking sleepy. I'm so sleepy. I am addicted to the moon feed. I imagine who you are. No, no, no. Guys, I actually have a bit unhinged. I have watched every news program, every special, every live-- I think we need to get you to space. I'm watching the live feed. Babe, it's fascinating. It's like a kid watching Father Christmas arrive on Christmas Eve. Like, that's what your life is doing. No, no, it is. And I was like, it was so sad, because last night they were going to go-- we were going to get to see that it is fucking mad. If you actually think about it, they are the furthest that humans have ever traveled from Earth. Thanks. We feel so freaking-- So weird. I better give them a lot. But imagine waking up and just like floating through space and looking up. And like, Earth looks like a basketball to them right now. That's how far away they are. Like, it's so mad. Very good for perspective. And Victor Glover, I believe he's the pilot. Are they called pilots? Pilot, there's a commander, a pilot, and then two mission specialists. But are they all under the bracket of astronaut? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a national, even if you don't go to space. You just have to pass-- it's like being like a special exam. So the parts you're driving there, it's basically-- Yeah. Astronaut. Is it like-- If you-- watch them float about in space and talk it is fucking insane. - It's so freaking insane. - Also, what is so freaky is that they're like literally 400,000 miles away and we've got a fucking live and direct stream to them. We're watching them in real time. Like, do you think that is not bad? - I think that is on my video to the Google Drive. So I wonder what that is. - Do you know what I mean? - And why my broadband is so bad? - So slow. - So then there were all these memes this morning because basically they went to this, they're basically, this is so boring and like geeky, but the whole point of this mission is to like go to the dark side of the moon. So they like all but it like hears the moon and they went around the dark side that we never get to see. But when they were there, they lost communication with earth for 40 minutes. - Worry. - They knew that was gonna happen. Anyway, they get to the corner and they see all these new craters that they've never like obviously been able to see because it's like right on the border of where you can't see. And read Weisman, the commander's wife died just as they started their training program. So they named one of the craters, Carol. And then it was like, then it was like, you're fucking shit, your boy can't text back. And read Weisman's just fucking flown to the moon and named a crater after his wife. - Amen. And that is why you don't accept crumbs, producer Izzy. - Joy-A-Meam. - He is texting back. He just canceled a couple of days. - He's just flaky. - Joy-A-Meam, like fuck. - He literally canceled twice and this guy can fly to the moon and name him. Joy-A-Meam, I just, I like, where's the bar here? - I'll send him this. I'll send him this. - Right. - I don't mind actually canceling plans. I just need really watertight excuses and I need to reschedule. - That's all I'm saying. - Cancelling once is fine. In the beginning, like obviously, when I know you give a shit. - No, when I show you is almost worse, like in the beginning you owe me nothing, I guess. You don't know me. - No, I think you owe me everything. - Really? - I think you need to keep going. - He's got a high bar this game. - Because I just think like, I don't know you. So why should I care about seeing you if you're gonna cancel on me loads of times? - Like, if you have a friend for a long time, like obviously I wanna see you. So like it's annoying you can't feel what I will make the effort to see you again. Whereas like if I don't know you, I don't give a fuck, goodbye. - But she's met him. She's hope-loving, thinking out. She's had a taste for the medicine. - Absolutely, in the dog. - Exactly. - Oh, that dog was cute to be very. - The dog. - The dog. - Lots of marigas. I will put putting in the chat if I go or not. Oh my god, my god. - Oh my god. - I will. - I will. - I love it. I live for it. I do. I really, really do. - Have you got any other updates for us? - I actually saw my boyfriend for the first time this year this weekend. - Oh my god, did you have a snog? - We had a snog. - Did we have a snog? - Tongue. (laughs) - No tongues, I don't do tongues. - No, I just thought it's a lie, I do like tongues. - Yeah, we had nice time. - I like tongues. - We on Friday, we went to Grenage. We was actually really nice. We just like, it was like, - You hung out. - Yeah, so nice. - Although we were both in a foul mood on Friday, just because I think we were just like, both of it naked and like, grouchy. - Not going on. - Not going on. - God bless for all. He really is the most patient man on this planet. Like I was, I, I, we were in the Grenage, like, museum, the, in the Royal Observatory where they have that museum or whatever. - We went in to go for maritime museum. - Yes, that, thank you. - We went in to go for a wee. So I went first, 'cause we bought babe. We went to the vintage markets. - Yeah. - And I bought this jacket and he bought this, like Ferrari, you know, those like, they're cool, but like, like pushing the boat out for him. The Ferrari, like, no, no, he's having a mid-like crisis. I'm scared of him. The Instagram dumb, the psychic. - The psychic, the date days, the Ferrari red wall. - The other day I had to him. - What are you doing? He said, I'm just working on my dump. - I was like, okay. He's also like, at the gym, like, every day. - Four days, I was at him. I could do with the rest day. He was like, no, no, no rest days. I've been at the gym four days, I'm fucking, every single day this week. - I can do with the rest. - He was like, no, no, no, no rest. - I was like, oh, I've literally worked out like every day. So he went, don't worry about it. - So don't worry about it. - Me then. - Doing some light stretching. - You're like, puffing, sweating next to me. I was like, you're fucking, I didn't want to go. No, he's scaring me. - Well, he's scaring me. - I think he's good. He's having a timeline job, and I think it's good for him. - Yeah. - It's time now. - He's doing what we did in like, - Three, four years ago. - Yeah. - He's doing it in two months before his holiday. - Yeah, basically. - Okay. Anyway, we went to the Maritime Museum, and we needed a wee, so we had the bags. So I went first. - So Ferrari Red War. - Jacket. - Shut up. - It's not red, it's black. - Although there is quite a lot of red on it actually. - Yeah, it's like, you're like, cool. - No, it's like, it's like, it's like, - Like, inverse. - Fine. - I mean, like, it's really out there. - And I was like, - Slai. - Slai. - But I'm really trying to encourage him because it takes him like, a lot to get there. - Get it? - So I was like, he was like, when will I wear this? - Whatever the fuck he wore. - Where it to work? - To work. - Where it to site. (laughing) - Where it to date night. - Where it to bed. - Fine. - Whatever he wore, my friend. - To wear that. - And then I bought one matching, but mine's like, Tulli Dye and mine is mental. And I was like, oh my god, we can wear them at the same time. He was like, I will never wear this at the same time as you. We look like two losers. (laughing) - Okay. - Okay, got going. Sorry, I was like, to a breast of fashion. Anyway, we went to the Lou, this is actually not really boring, sorry, but I went fast and then he went. And I went, because there was a special planetarium, the exhibition, so I went to the gift shop to look at this book about the moon, sure. There was a bit around the corner, but like, honestly, if you just fucking, you know, use your eyes to scan the room, you would have seen me. 20 minutes later, he's fucking effing and blinding. Where the fuck are you? Or 'cause we're like, I had no service. Anyway, we had this huge argument storming down the wall of service, which we like, those log corridors. Like, I'm also like, they were low to force and it's so echoing there. 'Cause it's like this long thing. - You guys are not shy of a bit of public. - Oh no, I will have a fight with you in the middle of the fucking M40. Like, I'm not scared of that. And he was screaming a child thing. And I was like, anyway, then I just walked, he walked, to go up the hill and I just walked down the hill and I sat and he looked at me. And he's so, I really, I love him so much in those moments. 'Cause like, I know he's like, this girl is honestly so drawing and I was sitting on the step and I was like, don't fucking talk to me, don't ever touch me, ever. (laughs) I'm like, such a child, I literally cannot help myself. - I know. - I'm like a pet, such a child. I know, I know. - You are, you have tantrums. - I can see, yes. And I can see myself in that moment being like, come on, sis. - Get out of it when you come. - I can't, I actually can't. - Yeah, he's very good. - Anyway, we actually had a really nice time. We walked to the Tovethyves Archery, then we went to this really delicious restaurant called Rambutan in Boramarket that I can 100% recommend. - Yes. - It's Sri Lankan, but we sat at the counter. - I love. - 'Cause you don't have to talk, 'cause we're working just watch. - Yeah. - Heaven. - Oh my god, it's heaven. - Go on, your nails are locked. I think we just took a skin. (laughs) (laughs) - Hi. - Oh. - Anyway, yeah, we just sat there and didn't talk to each other. - Yes, I love that. I love that. - And then on Saturday, we went to Brick Lane. - Did you find anything? - I bought another jacket. That was where we bought the jackets. - Fine. - And then we went to this other delicious restaurant called Asturia and Jalina, which is fully booked, but we walked in and got a table straight away. Also, it's new. It's like Japanese, it's like, Japanese Italian. So it's like pasta. - Confusion. - I had pasta, but then it had tuna tartar on top. - It was so delicious. - Make me hungry. - Yeah, so yeah, recommend both of those places. Round but turn in Asturia and Jalina if you're looking for restaurant recommendations in Central London. - Okay, please join us in party for your galley messages. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Okay, galley's welcome back. What should we call the galley this week? - Oh, we best call them. - Carroll. - Carroll. - Cool. - Okay, let's have our first voice now. - Hi girls, I'd absolutely love your opinion on something. My cousin is getting married this year. He's been with his partner for about four years, I think. I have been with my partner for six years. We live together and everything. He has not invited my partner. He's certainly invited, well they certainly invite my parents house, addressed to my mum, my stepdad, my brother and me. And I just thought I'd just ask in case, like I'll just check if my partner's also invited like no stress. And they were like, oh, actually no, he isn't. It's just a small friends and family thing. But I know that it isn't, it's a huge venue. There were eight people going to the sad mini alone and obviously more in the evening. And he hasn't even been invited to the evening part. At first I was like, yeah fine, I can understand how hard it is to like cut people out when you're inviting people to your wedding and you obviously have to make really hard decisions. I understand that. But I just feel a little bit like taking a back and actually kind of embarrassed just because I just assumed that he'd be invited. Like we've been together longer than the bride and groom have. I don't know if I would want to invite them both when I get married one day, particularly the bride, if she obviously doesn't want my partner there. So I just wanted to do what your thoughts were. I'm gonna go because, you know, I still care about my cousin. I want to see him get married and I'll just be with my family. But yeah, I'd love your thoughts. I appreciate that. This is like a divisive topic. - Well, I have many thoughts and I actually don't think it's divisive. - Oh. - Because I just think it's clear cut. It's your wedding invite here. You don't want to invite who you don't. I'm sorry that is so savage, but one day you'll be in that position able to make that decision and the worst thing is to feel obliged to invite people. It's different. Okay. In this situation, if they're really close, obviously that is a huge kick in the teeth. Something the face, whatever you want to call it. But if they're not, not close and the only reason that he would be invited is because he is your partner in my opinion. Like if I were her and that was the only reason that he, that your partner would get invited, I would also make that decision. Yeah, and I hear you say this because it is really hard especially when like the excuses don't add up, like saying like, "Oh, it's all ended." Shut up. And you're like, "There's 120 people here, make it make sense." And also when you're looking around and you like, you can't help yourself but you're like, just say, "Make it live." Oh, 100%. Interesting, they're coming to be. Why you don't have that with 30 years? They're golf. I'm like, "How the fuck did they get the invite?" And I didn't know that I wanted to go to, let's just really make that clear. But please don't invite me in the future, please. But out of principle, I agree. It is wild. It's wild. And I think, I basically agree with you completely because I think it can get so political and you could actually, if you really did abide by those rules, you could have a 300 person wedding because you're inviting everyone you've ever said, "Hello, too, at that point." Well, I don't know as well if you have a big family, but the problem is if your partner is invited, whoever else's husband or wife or partner that doesn't get invited will be like, "Well, how come he wasn't? I wasn't." So then you have to make weird rules for yourself. Is that okay? Well, if you've been with your partner for over three years, then they can come. But if it's been under three years, they can, "I don't know what I mean." And then your kids can come but your kids can't come. It's just so messy. So I actually do think the only way to avoid this drama is to be really cutthroat and to just say, "We are just inviting people that we really want to celebrate the day with." That is savage and like your poor partner, like having to hide here. And as only savage, it's like, if they are actually close. But always think this, like, where is the misunderstanding coming from? I know. But you should feel as the person not being invited fair. Like if you don't feel that something's gone really wrong. Like if you're expecting to be there and you're not invited, that's wild in my opinion. Because everyone should kind of know where they stand in like the closeness. I have had this recently, not with a family member, but with one of Raw's friends who's getting married actually at the end of this month. And like, I've known the. Oh, yes. Yes. Raw and this guy, let's call him. Aaron. Aaron. Aaron is getting married to a girl that I really don't know. Like I've. We were at the same wedding last summer, but honestly, like if I walked past her in the street, I wouldn't say hello. But Raw and Aaron are school friends. And I have known Aaron as long as I've known Raw. So coming on 10 years, I wasn't invited to the wedding. And initially I was like, that is so rude, because I would obviously invite Aaron. But then when I really thought about it, I was like, to be honest, even if they were married, I would not invite the girl. I would don't know. I don't know. As Raw and I neither of us know her. So. And you shouldn't really be having like small talk on your wedding day. No. Like the people you don't know. No, no. You definitely shouldn't be saying hello to people that you wouldn't say hello to in the street. No. I'm guessing this isn't the scenario because you're family. Yes. Like that's an extreme example. But I just think if you can deep it, if you can kind of understand the reasoning, obviously it is obviously different if they are close. Like that is fucking whack us. But then also that's your partner. Like now your partner can go and be like, mate, I'm really upset I wasn't invited to your wedding. Yeah. And then on a real, your cousin can be like, yeah, listen, spoke to the Mrs. and she feels like she doesn't really know you and we're trying to have like only people that we like love on the day. Fair enough. I'm sorry it is. Also, on another note, having been single at a few weddings recently, quite fun. I was just about to say. I think it's better. Where are you more fun? Especially with your family because there's like a lot of dynamics going on at me and just like move around. Move around. Like at my cousin's wedding, if I'd have had a partner there, it would have been Helen Horror. I'd have been worried about them whilst I was trying to like, you know, maneuver when family dynamics. You can be there then and you can be present and like I understand that your partner is also a part of your family of course. But I think it's actually quite a nice day. Totally agree. To be on your one. I think it's about weddings in general. It's more fun if you're going with a group that doesn't actually, unless you and your partner in like a big friend group or like, you know, I often think that being with your partner, they're like shackles. They are. You take the shackles off my feet so I can dance. You're way me. Yeah, I do. Never assume a plus one. Ever. Ever. Sadly for you. Well also, I think it's, you know, like obviously someone's got to go first. So like now that person has been set, you can also do that. Yeah, babe, Slay, be petty. Who's that? Don't invite her. Yeah. You don't have to have her there. Yeah. Like you really don't. As long as you can justify it yourself. Also, if there's even like a slight like, oh, would I would night I just think no, don't pay for that food. I can't. Totally agree. Sorry. We said what we said. What Charlie might get married and her guest list be savage. I can't wait. No, no. Oh, savage. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You rule will hand over his list. Should we like, I've already said it. These people are blacklisted. I'm not joking. I'm ready. I can imagine. But even that, like, what I, I, we've spoken about this before. Like, say I got a boyfriend. Let's say you get married. It's different. If they were famous, they would be invited. They wanted something from them. Yeah. But you know what I mean? Even if like the only reason you would then invite, if she got a boyfriend three months before I got married, there is obviously no reason he would be invited. Unless we're spending like a lot of time together. That everyone's getting very well. I like for you, babe. If you're, if he's not in your life, do you want to have the memories of that day? Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. I just think avoid the risk. Agreed. I think it's really hard as well. Sorry, this is the last I'll say on that. I think it's hard because weddings are quite like obviously romantic. So I think sometimes people like to experience that with their partner. And I think it is a nice day for couples. Agreed. Well, it can also, it's, again, it's all about perspective. Because I have also been to weddings where I've not been with Raw. And I've just been like, oh, I feel really lucky. But I'm also really glad that I'm in like. It just depends on how you look at it. Like I'm, I'm different because I'm not single. But I think there's like if you are single, there's a way to twist it to be like, I know one day I will have this feeling for someone. I'm like, what a beautiful magical feeling to bottom. Like I don't know. I just think there's a way to look at it. That's not so like, woe is me. I'm alone. Poor Carol. She's come here. She's good advice. We've just shot on her. No, no, babe. I want to validate you and say. It's so fun. It's so fun to be a bit nervous. It's so a hundred, especially you guys have been together a fucking long time. You can be mythed, but you don't really have legs to stand on. That's the problem. You have to myth in your own time. Be mythed or you want be mythed here, babe. We'll take it. Please, face to myth. Absolutely. And we, you know, we fight your battles for you. I'm just saying from us, from the other side, also, babe, one day you will have the power. Hey, don't invite that little bitch. No, she's not going to invite everyone. Look at her looking. Absolutely not even an after's invite. No, no. Well, this is sorry. This is my other thing with weddings. I do think it's mad to have two separate guest lists. I hate. I would die on this. I would, Jen, you rather than be invited than, like, that is such a, like, you're not important enough. But we now need people to fill a marquee or fill a dance forever. I find that incredibly offensive. I think if you're going to do that, it should be like a funeral. Like, you know a funeral. It's like a, at the crematorium, sometimes you like have only family. Like, it's tiny. Yeah. But then everyone might come to the wake or like the church. Yeah. It's like whatever. I feel like it should be like that if you're going to do it. Like, I so get it if you do like a tiny wedding. Like, family. You know, like, ten people. Yeah. And then you have a huge party and everyone's in the same, like, you know, bucket of like the, the, the, the not family. Yeah. But I think like, sometimes people invite like ten extra people. No, no, no, I know. Fuck those poor people. I know. Like, how did they get there? People I even know where people have been invited to the ceremony, but not the evening. So they've got to leave. They're people that I know. Yeah. Got invited to the ceremony daytime, but not to the dinner. So they just went to the ceremony and then left. Like, I think that is what I just think. This is why I think being salvage is okay because you want to have a contradiction ourselves massively because like, this is the thing. Actually, do what you want. Do what you want. Like, that is the rules. So no. So they believe, be salvage so that everyone can come to everything. Yeah. Just get one group that you like and that you want to spend the whole fucking day with and then that's it. That's it. Yeah. You can't be having people for dinner, not ceremony, ceremony, not dinner. I mean, it's just madness. Weird. Weird. Weddings make people cuckoo. And there are no rules. My real opinion on, on weddings are there are no rules. You do you. You do you. And sadly, everyone just has to get over it. Yeah. Okay. It is time for an email. Gosh, we're getting a lot of emails, aren't we? Gosh. Gosh. Maybe really upper coming. A mom. A mom. She got on Facebook and you say, "Babe, don't slug off harsh because actually that leopard print coat that all the girls were talking about is harsh." Did you buy it? I nearly did, but then I got my little white one instead from harsh. So you harsh. I know. When I am, I'm coming up to 30. I know. I'm going to lay her down. Hey girls, me and my boyfriend have been together for a long time. for over a year and a half. We met on my first weekend at uni. I am a student and he is a local farmer. - Oh yes, this is a bit of me. Brilliant. Do you know farmers have brilliant forearms? - I do know that. - By the by. - Our lives are so separate. So we only managed to spend one or two nights a week knowing that we will live together in the future. - I'm so happy. - Oh my God, I bet you are. One or two nights a week is fucking marital bliss. - Well, farmers famously very difficult to be with. - There hours are. - Oh yeah. - Have you watched "Closons Farm"? - Yes, I have. I grew up in a house. - No, no, I know. And also they always smell like silage. - And manure. - And manure. And their hours are so antisocial. Like really like those lambs that lambing happens in the middle of the night. - No, no, I know. - It's wild. The thing is, oh my goodness, this is so exciting. The thing is we are very open about sex and what we like and don't like. However, the other day we were talking about things we wanted to try. He said to me, why are you not able to squirt? - Oh, oh my God. - Oh my God. My face has just gone bright red. I'm embarrassed. It's not embarrassing, guys. Squirting is normal. This caught me slightly off guard. As I suppose I've never thought about it, why would you? He is convinced, he is the problem. I am not sure as he's pretty good at it all. - Trust. - Since then, I have seen him once and feel like there is now pressure on it not happening, Odir. Like an elephant in the room type thing. Do you have any on-vice advice on how to do it or how to reassure him that he is not the problem? PS love the pod. - Right, I think there are two separate issues here. - Many things to discuss, yeah. Number one, not everyone can squirt. I actually don't know the like biology. - I really don't and I don't know. - I know all I know is that Squirt is we. It's clear we. - Yes. - Or did you know when you all know? - Because I did what's at this up. And all I know is that I've got no rhyme or reason of when I can or can't. - I've never done it. - To be honest. - I have. I actually, I did not a lot, but like I do more than I would like to. - I do. - I do. - I'd like to do more than I do. - Really? - I've never ever done it. Ever. But I know that like, it's hard because also I think it's one of those things that if you go in thinking I want to, I'm not sure you will, because I feel like a lot of all of this stuff that we know is so mental. - It's mental. - And I think as you say, if you've got a goal or something that you need to achieve, like that's not that sexy. And like I think it comes from, I don't know, I'll try and track when or where it happens. But like I think you have to, I think it's all about being like very relaxed, probably like certain things. - But I do. - I do think a lot of it is like people, like in the same way that some people can only have a little orgasm and some people can only have a penitent of orgasm. Like it is a lot, I do think a lot of it is to do with like, you'll either like more predisposed to squatting, more predisposed to like whatever it is. It's definitely, definitely not. Or one size fits with everyone can squat. - Absolutely not. - No way. - I also don't think, I don't know, I'm not like a sex expert, but I don't know that it's something that even, like it's not like training for a marathon. - No. - Follow a plan and then at the end. - Squared. - You know why? - Yeah, yeah. - And I also think it kind of comes back to like, I don't know, I have it sometimes where like I find it quite, not embarrassing, but like I think it's quite like, it's quite pony. - It's me. - So it's like I think guys like watch it maybe and like see it happening and then they think that like, that me, that equals good sex, that equals you having a good time. But like you're saying to us that like he's great at all of the bits and you could be orgasming every time. And just not squirting. And I don't know that squirting would add anything to your pleasure. Like actually if anything it would just add something to his because he would be feeling like he's like unlocked a new like level, which I'm not sure is actually what it is. If you stop to think about the way that you like orgasm and the way that you enjoy your sex life, I'm not sure that squirting will give you anything more than you already had. But I genuinely think it is like you're right, like just everyone is so different. And you can't like, you don't want the pressure of that. And that's maybe what you need to like articulate to him is that the pressure almost like takes away the enjoyment of the pleasure. Well this is what I was gonna say is that how to reassure him that he is not the problem. I think that is a slightly separate like thing like completely in and of itself because listen, I'm not saying all men, hashtag not all men. But I do think a lot of men's like ego in the bedroom comes from their ability to make you do certain things. And like they, I think men aren't learned in the female anatomy. And so they genuinely probably does think if I do actually squat. Yeah. And I think there's a way to, I don't know, explain kind of like explain it in a conversational way that's to be like, I just, just so you know, like go and look it up. I don't know what the stats are, but like only x% of women can squat. So like it's actually, do you know what I mean? Like I think there's a way to let him know that there's nothing even if he fucking did flips and tricks on his dick. Or even if he was there all night, like relentless. It's like, it is what it is. Also like if you're like exploring your own body and you don't squat like by your 100% chances are. Chances are. 'Cause you know, let's be honest. He doesn't vibrate. He never gonna do it better than a vibrator. It's literally designed for like female pleasure. Maximum female pleasure. So like, and there is science behind those toys. So like if I can't be in the privacy of my own home playing the music I like with a candle lit and a Lilo sex toy and I don't squat alone, I probably won't. Whereas like I would by myself. Therefore I know it's like actually nothing to do with him to be honest. Exactly. Like give all tech. It can be guys I don't like. It can be one night stand. It can be someone I've been with for three years. Like it doesn't really, there's no rhyme or reason. So if that like, you know, can make you feel any better even as someone like, "Can squat or does?" Without any control of my own. Like I really don't know what that is. So I think it is just a deal or don't thing. And maybe one day you can. I'm actually completely certain it is a deal, don't they? I think it is. Because like it is. Yeah. Like 50%, 50%, 50%. Oh my God really. So like you either call it all you don't. Next time, why don't you just save up a little bit of piss, just wheeling it. Literally just wheeling him. See how that goes down. Yeah. Because like, you know, it's the same. It is just me. To be honest, it's just me and you could just squeeze out. You could just literally be desped for a wee next time, we have sex and we'll just, it'll just come out. That's what happens when you get to 30 eyes. You just think too fast, you can't hold your wheel. Anyway. Oh my God. I think, well I laughed now sometimes. I mean, I've had this for years, actually I always say. Yeah, you always, yeah. But why would we really just come out? Yeah. Yeah, I just think it's this whole thing. And I was actually talking about it, the weekend about this whole, like, you know, I know that we've all been complaining about, like porn and what it does to like real life sex for years. But I do think there is like a kind of like separation that needs to happen from like how we view sex and how we, you know, engage with it by just watching it on like porn or even in like films or like how it's presented to us. And what we actually experience with another person in the bedroom. I always think this about films and TV. And you know what, fucks me off. After sex, they just roll over and go to sleep. I'm like, I sorry. Thras. You would have thought by now that someone had documented the fact you have to sit on the fucking Lou and have a piss. Yeah. There is just so much. Like why you pay everything off you? Like, well, it was like a little funny rinse. Oh, you're gone. You want to have a funny rinse. Genuinely, like direct route to click to thrush. Yes. For real. If you want a UTI fall asleep straight away, like that is genuinely a recipe for disaster. If you want me to give you a fucking biology lesson, that's it. I have always, I have always genuinely all my life. I have always said I take such issue with the fact that they just fucking all over. I know. Well, even all like just the blueprint of it. Like it like all looks. Well, all so like beautiful. I'm like, oh God, it's just so actually, if you really, if you just zoom out for one second, just with hilarious, you know, when you think so, like weird, like awkward. And when you think exactly when you think about like porn and like the positions they get themselves into will like the like, you know, just the like movement from one thing to the other, watch me try and get from like reverse cowgirl intermission real. Take me now. You know, when they put like in film, they put like they she's like up on the counter. They like put her on the counter and then he just he just slides it in. She's not even made her wet. Yeah, I just think, oh, I'm saying. Just boring. Many more steps to take. So I always think the angles wrong. You literally, or standing there, you would honestly would not even be able to get it. And this half a ginner is three meters long. There is no way you're getting inside. I always think that, but like that's not going to change because they're making films. They're making porn. So basically your sex not looking like that does not mean your sex is bad. So again, okay. It's time for the Gali gossip. This is our favourite section because this is where the Gali's can message in and comment. And we will respond to you. And this is where we like to this is you know meant to be gossip guys. Okay. It's a two and throw. Yes. It's you know, it's a thing you might say, if we were to go for a cup of coffee. Yes, good. So you know, it's nothing deep and meaningful. So we have got a voice note from Amy who is living proof that blood isn't always thicker than sorry to - Hello, Galleys. I have a voice note for Galleys Gossip. Episode, I have a secret sibling. I'm a birth and swelling girl behind my back. How about not a secret sibling, but a sibling who doesn't remember you? Bump sends my big brother a few months ago, and I went, oh my God, hi, you're right. And he looked at me and said, "Poor you." - Shut up! - I had to be like your sister. And he was like, "Oh, shut. I'm a bad big brother." I was like, "Tine to var. What do you mean who are you?" And he passed it off because I had glasses on. And he'd never seen me in my glasses before. Then he doesn't wash me out half, you know, to any first. So really, really, really in the bad books. I think that was just quite a funny little tadpa. - Sorry, understatement is so cool. - Yeah, it's amazing. Understatement of the century is I'm a bad big brother. Are you mad? You don't know who I am. - Are you sure? - That's that can't be right. - He didn't recognise her. - Living on a different planet. That is awful. - That is normal, man. - No, you should go. - He needs to go and have an outside misscheque or something. That is not right. - Maybe, maybe. He is a little forgetful. - When is the worst time that you've ever forgotten someone? - Every day in this industry. (laughing) - Every day I have hell and horror of saying, so nice to me. - Yeah, the other day at that. I've had it when I was like, "Oh yeah, we went last year." And I was like, "Yeah, I know." (laughing) That was bad. - I have had it a lot with people in this industry to be like, especially when you go like, "Oh yeah, I'm Ali." And they're like, "No, no, I know." We did X together and I'm like, "Yeah." - Course reader. - I am notoriously good at faces, but some people I just can't remember. I can't remember everyone. I have it. I think I've had it a few times with people from school. Like, I'll be like back home or something. And I'll like see some, well, it's really hard when they're out of context. - Yeah. - Or like if they're like, "Year below." Or like, "Do you know what I mean?" And you're a bit like, "Also my school was enormous." Like, "You know, give me some slack." - Yeah. - But you know what I mean? And you're like, "Oh my God, that's so nice to meet you." They're like, "We went to school together." (laughing) - I'm almost gone at the other way. I have hyper recognition of people I went to school with. - I would love some hyper, Holly's the same. - I have hyper recognition. I had someone in my DMC other day and I had to send it to Marvin Hales and be like, "Guys, do we?" 'Cause I saw that our mutes were all like, "Schools people." - Schools people. - And I was like, "Guys, please tell me I don't know this boy." And they're like, "Oh, obviously you know you haven't year above school." And I was like, "What? I don't remember you." - I would like to remember less people. - Yeah. - Honestly. - Do you need to come over here? - I can't remember half the stuff. I can't remember half people I don't know. - Do you know what's really weird though? There was this whole, it is because your brain can't place them contextually, because when we were at the sex and drinks, Kendall, the gorgeous girl downstairs who is the barista, she walked in and I was like, "God, I know that girl." Obviously, it's Kendall. We see her every single day. But when someone's out of context wearing different clothes with different hair and makeup, it's really weird. - Well, famously Zoe James. - Oh, fuck. - That is the one. - Famously. - That is the one. - That's the one. - That's the one. - Guys, no, I would agree with you because I was with you, thank God. - If I had been alone, that would have been the worst time in my life. - I don't know why no. - The worst time to be alive. Basically, guys, we had a, okay, preface it with, no, it was a bad game. - It was a game. - There is no, she was up in your face. - I was in fight for an hour. - That was, you literally, I was in. - She was in a spot. - This is G. - This is Zoe. - Yeah, she's a makeup artist. So, you're pretty fucking weird. - Oh, close and fucking personal, okay? She'd done our makeup for the brand. - Also, we were having my deep chat. - I know. - We go to this Garnier event. - And she can never forget us. - She's in my well, I love her. (laughing) - Yeah, and then we went what two weeks later to this Garnier event, not even. And we spoke to her for a good 10 minutes, and I literally went to our last words. I've got no idea who that girl is. Do we know her? - I thought she was joking. Honestly, I thought she was joking. - I was like, babe, that's Zoe James. Our makeup artist from two weeks ago, who painted your face for an hour. And I'm like, more tired. - I was more tired. - More tired. - I think she would be, to be honest. Anyway, it happens to the best of us, but probably not your brother, that's why you're. - I was smacking him in the face. I wish I had a brother. I'd be so fucking violent. (laughing) - I would. I always think that I was born to rough and tumble with someone. - Yeah. - I really was. And you and me were both quite like, that you can get rough and tumbley with me. We were rough and tumbley. - You will. But, you know, if I had a brother, he would fucking, he'd be beating me. I would beat him up. - Babe. - I would. If my brother walked into a coffee shop and said, who are you? Like, are you fucking mad? Strangle you, you piece of shit. (laughing) - If you wanna get involved in next week's Gali Gossip, send us a DM on Insta or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured, please keep them coming. We really love them. - It can literally be anything. - Anything goes. - Okay, it is now time for, what we loved and didn't love from this episode. - Okay, loved a wax melt spell. - Oh, loved. - loved witches. - Love witches. - Loved Rose Ferrari jacket. - Love, so. - He's becoming a fashionista. - Slay, he's basically Sherlock's, love. (laughing) - Love using Facebook as LinkedIn as a safe social media platform. - To scroll on. - Love. - Only spending one or two nights a week with your boyfriend. - Love. - Love. - Love a boyfriend that, like, okay, I know that it's like not ideal, but love a boyfriend that cares about your pleasure deeply. - Love. - Love that. - Love inviting wedding guests to the day and the evening part of the proceedings. - Love. - Love a 360 wedding experience. - Right. - Love. Things we didn't love. Things we didn't love separate wedding guests lists. Obviously, don't love. You're fucking brother not recognizing you. - Don't love that. Things we don't love. - Things we don't love. Boys texting back if Reed Weissman can name a creator on the moon after his wife. Amen. - Don't love goal setting in the bedroom. - Good. - Don't need targets there. Don't need a, you know, don't need trajectory in the bedroom. Guys, let us know what you loved or hated in this app by commenting on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you are listening. - If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice to our WhatsApp on 07342, 61792, or you can click the link in the episode description. You can also send us an email at [email protected] and go to god.com. - Love you. - Bye. (upbeat music)