Pirro Pressure

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Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash loveit. That's it. There is no catch. Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12 months, plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees extra initial plan term only greater than $50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot capable device required availability. Speed and coverage vary. See mintmobile.com. Crooked Con is coming up right after the election and we have just added a bunch more great names to the lineup. We got Governor J.B. Pritzker coming, Senator Chris Murphy, and then over from the House side, Ilhan Omar, Robert Garcia, Sarah Jacobs, Jamie Raskin, Sarah McBride. We also have Carlos Eduardo Espina, Simone Sanders Townsend, Eugene Daniels, David Pakman, Jessica Tarloff, Heather McGee, and then all the other people that we've announced on the website. Plus, more to come. Great list. Check out the full lineup and get tickets right now at CrookedCon.com. We'd love to see you there. That's CrookedCon.com. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live from Hollywood. I'm John Lovett. And like that movie, where people only have sex one night a year, I only have sex one night a year. We've got a great show for you. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Federal prosecutors dropped the vandalism charges against former Olympic canoeist David Hearn after contending for months that he had destroyed part of the reflecting pool's new lining. They finally got the DNA test results back and it turns out David Hearn is not algae. The U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of Columbia, led by former TV judge Jeanine Pirro, said that it had charged Hearn and three others based on, quote, less than fulsome information from the Interior Department and conceded that the damage was the result of a botched installation and not vandalism. This was obvious from the beginning, of course. The claim, which apparently Jeanine Pirro took at face value, was that the hastily applied liner was floating up to the surface in little chunks across eight acres of reflecting pool. All at once, because stealth Antifa ninjas were stabbing at it with knives, which never made any sense. This is America. If somebody wants to fuck up the reflecting pool, they'd shoot it with their dad's gun. Trump, if you can imagine, was not pleased with Pirro. Frankly, I think she choked. And I was disappointed with Jeanine Pirro. Really disappointed with Jeanine Pirro. She, uh, she folded like an umbrella. No. Folding is what she did when she prosecuted an innocent 67-year-old man because you demanded it. Jeanine Pirro has now unfolded. Also like an umbrella. Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, unhappy with his reputation as the least-to-fair-his-cabinet official, doubled down on the claims of vandalism, saying, quote, the evidence is clear. Vandals have repeatedly caused damage to the reflecting pool while saying he has video to prove it. You actually can't see anything, though, because there's this random canoe blocking the camera. So Trump reportedly summoned both Pirro and Burgum to the White House for a meeting on Monday that many speculated could result in one of their firings. But who would Trump choose? The tall, rich guy saying exactly what Trump wants to hear? Or the 75-year-old woman he assumes is on her period? Rumors intensified when Pirro was spotted leaving the West Wing hauling a large white box. But that was just Epstein documents for the weekly shred. No. On Tuesday, CBS reported, that the box contained the documentation she brought to show Trump what actually caused the damage to the pool. Oh, you brought evidence to change Donald Trump's mind. What is this, your first day and also your last day? You think he wants you to show him proof that what he's been saying is obviously stupid and ridiculous? Why not just show Trump a picture of his weird little penis next to Joe Biden's dangling Delaware hog? Speaking of weenies flopping in the breeze, two Republican senators, John Cornyn and Tom Tillis, had threatened to block Trump's Attorney General nominee, Todd Blanch, over Trump's proposed $1.8 billion taxpayer slush fund for insurrectionists and Trump's settlement with the IRS that promised to never audit his family or businesses ever again. Unfortunately, standing up to Trump is like having sex with Trump. It doesn't last long, and he's the only one who gets what he wants. Then after you are offered a burger on Sunday, Blanch and Blanch announce that he'd rescinded the anti-weaponization fund and narrowed the IRS immunity so that it only applied retroactively. Yes, Blanch's declaration is meaningless. The original terms of the agreement creating the fund stated that it may be modified only with the written agreement of the parties, which include Trump, his sons, and the Trump Organization. And like Tiffany's birthday card, this thing doesn't have a Trump signature anywhere fucking near it. You don't have to be a lawyer to understand why this is bullshit. You just have had to try to cancel a membership at Planet Fitness. It's over when they say it is. But this phony assurance was enough to satisfy John Cornyn and Tom Tillis, two men who believe the strippers actually really like them. Trump personally ended their political careers by endorsing their GOP primary challengers. They are about to leave the Senate. Why not go out in a blaze of glory, or at the very least, a blaze of not licking your executioner's greasy taint? We've debated whether that was too much. Whether or not greasy taint was extra. Here's what Cornyn had to say when asked if he was concerned about Trump's statements, some in just the past few days praising the fund. Well, there's nothing we could do to rein in the president when he said he likes the fund and he wishes it still exists, but the fact of the matter, it's dead. And that's all we could do under these circumstances. But that's not true. That's not true at all. That's not all you could do under the circumstances. In fact, the circumstances had previously included an actual bill, an amendment that he could have voted for that would have enshrined in law a banning of this fund and this ridiculous settlement. Remember Congress and it used to pass laws to constrain the executive? Tillis and Cornyn voted against this amendment. Their two votes would have taken it from 49 votes to 51 votes. It would have been law, but they stopped it. They are so full of shit, even now when they don't have to be full of shit anymore. You are free. You don't have to do this like gorillas who were released back into the wild, but only feel safe sleeping in a fucking cage. Speaking of people who should be released into the wild, HHS secretary RFK Jr. has officially launched his own web series, The Real Food Show. Here is the actual trailer. - Hi, I'm Robert F. Kennedy Jr., your HHS secretary. - Welcome to The Real Food Show. Thanks to President Trump, we flipped the food pyramid and put real food back where it belongs, at the center of the American plate. - Let's take a look at the new pyramid for a moment. So the tiny point at the bottom is the whole grains, while the large trapezoid on top is literally every other kind of food. What are we fucking do, what are we doing? What are we doing here? Maybe there's a reason the ancient Egyptians didn't build pyramids pointy side down. Also, the food pyramid. - The food pyramid was killed 15 years ago. I don't know why we're bringing it back at all when we already got rid of it. But of course, that's also what we said about measles. Meanwhile. - I'm traveling across America, connecting with renowned chefs to show families how to cook delicious, nutritious meals with real ingredients, all at affordable prices. America, it's time to eat real food. - Thank you. - For decency, we cut off this clip right before Kennedy reaches into a cooler and pulls out a flattened skunk. RFK Jr. has said that the recipes on the show will include fermented items like kimchi, sauerkraut, and yogurt. Also, an ingredient I'm not familiar with called pickled jimothy. Oh no! Here's a fun moment from RFK's publicity tour for the show. - So what's the most exotic food that you've eaten? - The most exotic? - I literally eat anything. I don't have a gag reflex, let me put it like that. - Cheryl Hines is a lucky woman. Yes, RFK both sounds like and eats like a garbage disposal. Speaking of garbage, when pushed by CNN's Dana Bash on the recent measles outbreak in the US, Kennedy offered this explanation. - The communities that are suffering from measles are almost all religious communities, they just don't vaccinate. the Mennonites have not vaccinated since 1796 since Edward Jenner invented the smallpox vaccine it's hard to blame that I mean as much as you want to blame no I don't want to blame you I'm asking you because you have a very powerful voice on these issues I want to blame him we're seeing the worst measles outbreak in 35 years because more and more people aren't vaccinating their children has the Mennonite population exploded are people flocking to the fucking horse and buggy if not I'm not sure we can blame the Mennonites many of whom actually have received vaccinations also it's a convenient people to blame because you know they won't see this where are the remaining Epstein files oh we gave them to the Amish for safekeeping Kennedy did ultimately concede that he wants people to get vaccinated for measles do you want people to get the the MMR vaccine yeah I said that already okay so I know you're flustered now you I don't I'm not flustered at all I am frustrated and honest the reason I'm I'm not debating this of course you know because I'm not all you know how to do is repeat things that people told you and say trust the expert yeah man that's how this works we can't all individually go conduct our own vaccine studies I've tried turns out injecting people at the office with mystery liquids is quote against union rules and now we turn from the inbox to the outbox on Tuesday the New York Times talked about the MMR vaccine and the MMR vaccine and the MMR vaccine and the MMR vaccine I talked to Sean O'Mara, the doctor advising Trump's cabinet to eat a diet almost exclusively of steak and fermented foods like sauerkraut. And I wanted to read you this part about the doctor himself. At one point in our conversation, he pulled up the Bristol stool chart, which ranges from type 1, separate hard pellets, to type 7, watery, no solid pieces. O'Mara is consistently delivering type 4, quote, smooth, soft, like a snake, with pointed ends, indicative of healthy rectal function, he told the reporter. When you start eating healthy, you don't need toilet paper, he claimed. Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus. We actually have a clip. Well, we're going, we don't need toilet paper. Perfect. The article continues. He describes a proper bowel movement to the reporter this way. Odorless, wipe-free, over in 3 to 7 seconds, and nearly orgasmic. Quote, I could have a bowel movement behind a shoe. I could have a sheet at a dinner party in the corner of the room, he said, and nobody would know. But what's weird, added Dr. Sean, is no one ever invites him to dinner parties. You can't figure it out. And listen, and I'm sorry, this guy is dropping clean logs day after day after day. Whatever Scientology promises people to get them to sign their life away, this is that for me. And I'm in luck, because on his website, Dr. Sean sells a $50,000 biological optimization plan that he's been working on for years. Sean sells a $50,000 biological optimization plan called Alpha Global Protocol, which includes a full-body MRI scan from, quote, brain to legs. And while $50,000 does sound like a lot, it comes with what is described as indefinite membership in the private alpha leadership network. So come meet fellow travelers who all share two things in common. They got a loose $50,000 lying around, and their farts could clear an airport terminal. Speaking of satisfying expulsions, the midterms are upon us, and votes save America is launching the Crooked Dozen. We are focusing on 12 of the most vulnerable Republicans in the House. Not emotionally vulnerable. These people are pretty walled off. But electorally, we can fuck them up. At the top of the list is Ohio Congressman Max Miller, who has been accused of horrific domestic violence by his ex-wife, Emily Moreno, daughter of Ohio Republican Senator Bernie Moreno. Miller is accused of throwing boiling water on her, holding a gun to her head, and breaking his daughter's collarbone. We have no jokes about that. So you guys see this kitten who got a wheelchair made of rulers and toy cars because he was too small for a regular wheelchair for cats? The kitten's name is Gelato. Senator Moreno finally spoke out against Miller this week, posting on Sunday, as he has admitted privately, Max Miller needs serious psychological help. He is a danger to my daughter. I hold my breath every time he has custody of my granddaughter. He should not serve in the House of Representatives. This is. This has been a horrific experience for my entire family. My daughter lives in constant fear of this man. I'm sorry. I just think this stuff is important and people need to hear about it. Gelato, the kitten, is four inches tall. Here's another photo of him in his new 3D-printed wheelchair. Adorable. Despite this, Max Miller has not dropped out, saying in a defined interview with Jake Tapper he plans to run and win in November. What a nightmare. Where's his district? Widow's Bay? I don't know. Look, Miller is an absolute piece of shit, and not a Type 4 on the Bristol stool chart either, one of the bad ones. And Miller's Democratic opponent is Brian Poindexter, a union ironworker endorsed by Bernie Sanders. That's right, it's yet another crucial race with a manly progressive and a guy who's awful to women, but this time, exciting twist, not the same guy. No matter where you live, you can help defeat Max Miller and the rest of the crooked dozen. If we win the House, we shut down Trump's legislative agenda. We have subpoena power, we can launch investigations into corruption and lawlessness, we can take that gavel out of Mike Johnson's hand, even though he holds it too tightly and in a vaguely sexual way. We have less than 100 days, so please grab your friends and go sign up to help defeat the crooked dozen at votesaveamerica.com. We have done the work for you. This is the way to make a difference this fall, and if Gelato the kitten can learn to walk again, we can learn to win. Look at him go. Breaking news, RFK Jr. has eaten Gelato the kitten. RIP Gelato the kitten. And we've got a great show for you tonight. We'll be right back with Porno Jaganathan. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Z-Biotics. I have to tell you about this game-changing product I use before a night out with drinks. It's called pre-alcohol. You basically just have it, and then if you're going to have a couple drinks, you'll just feel so much better the next day. Z-Biotics, pre-alcohol.com. Probiotic drink is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic. It was invented by a PhD scientist to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. When you drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. It's a buildup of this byproduct, not dehydration, that's to blame for rough days after drinking. Pre-alcohol produces an enzyme to break this byproduct down. Just remember to make pre-alcohol your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly, and you'll feel your best tomorrow. I had Z-Biotics at our wedding. I'm always using it. It's a great thing to take, because if you know you're going to have, like, a couple drinks, it just helps make sure that the next day you feel better. Mondays don't move for anyone. Pre-alcohol works overnight, so you can have a real weekend and still show up sharp. Go to Z-Biotics.com slash love it. Use code love it for 15% off. That's Z-Biotics.com slash love it. Code love it. Love it or leave it is brought to you by Bombas. Summer's here, and we are all living for things outdoors. I'm always outside. I'm walking the dog. I'm going for runs. I'm, you know, living life, you know? Summer. And I'm always in my Bombas. I love Bombas. I wear them all the time. They're the best socks. I wore them to the gym this morning. Just the kind of vintage athletic socks. They're great. They look great. They're super comfortable. They have great socks with the grips if you want to do, like, Pilates. They're the best. I got a pair of socks from another brand, because I got them for free, honestly, and they were terrible. And it was a big, famous brand. And the Bombas are so much better. They've got a whole line of pro-level sports socks for golf, yoga, the gym, and every kind of runner. 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Here to tell us about it is me from tomorrow, his now, reporting to you yesterday, which is our now. Thanks, John, and thanks for not turning off the TV until after midnight. Totally worth it that we're exhausted today. On Tuesday, after a bruising primary. Democratic voters chose the progressive Dr. Abdul El-Sayed over the Schumer-backed moderate Congresswoman Haley Stevens. An actual doctor, too, not like whatever Jill Biden is. This despite Abdul being outspent by as much as 10 to 1. AIPAC and other outside groups dropped $60 million, by some estimates, into the race to boost Stevens and smear Abdul in attack ads that ran nonstop. Not sure AIPAC got much out of those ads on the sphere, though, but by the end, they were running out of places to spend the money. In the closing days, polls suggested that Abdul was up by as much as double digits. But with 95% of the vote in, Abdul is up by 1%. That's 15,000 votes out of roughly 1.5 million cast. We know not to trust the polls, yet somehow we fall for it every time. It's like the polls are a super hot sociopath. Stop love bombing us, Emerson. This meant that on Tuesday night, both candidates addressed their supporters when the outcome was unknown, and both Abdul and Haley talked about the importance of getting behind the eventual nominee, regardless of who that would be. However much we might disagree with our Democratic opponent, There is so much more that unites us than divides us. we begin to mend fences. Whatever happens tonight, we have a responsibility to assure that we unite to make sure that Mike Rogers never sees the inside of the U.S. Senate. We'll know soon who our nominee is going to be. And whoever wins is going to go and take on Mike Rogers. Republicans are going to do everything they can to throw all the dirt, all the mud, the kitchen sink at us because they want to keep the U.S. Senate red. So Mike Rogers can keep rubber stamping Donald Trump's ridiculous agenda. Friends, we are not going to let that happen. I'll just be honest with you. I know, and I'm not going to lie to you, I know that I'm not going to let that happen. I really like Abdul. He hosted a show on our network. I donated to his campaign. If he had ever asked me to hang out outside of work, I would have, but he's intimidated by me, probably. I have my differences with him. And on Pod Save America, I was pretty open about some of my frustrations, especially when I felt like Abdul reflected a style of politics on the left that seems more interested in winning factional battles within the Democratic Party than uniting to feed Trump and the Republicans. But he also overcame an unprecedented onslaught by inspiring voters to vote for him. And I think that's a great thing. I think that's a great thing. I believe in a politics that actually delivers for people, that breaks with the lethargy and lack of imagination of the Democratic establishment. And we all have an interest in proving that super PAC ads cannot decide who wins and loses our elections. Ads should only influence what medicine we demand from our doctors and how fat our children get before they're ultimately prescribed a Zempik. I also actually worked with Haley Stevens on the Hillary campaign in 2008. And what I saw reflected the person I knew then, a hardworking, practical, goofy, kind person. But the actual campaign she led was pretty bankrupt, where she's smiling and turning cranks on a factory floor while her allies are doing the dirty work of trying to destroy Abdul and rarely directly. AIPAC isn't running ads explaining why Abdul is wrong to call Israel's conduct of the war in Gaza a genocide. AIPAC is running ads taking quotes out of context to smear him on unrelated issues. I am worried about the damage these ads have already done. And if the polls overestimated Abdul's support against Stevens, they might be overestimating his support against Rogers. And if the polls overestimated Abdul's support against Stevens, which means we now have an uphill climb in a race that could determine control of the Senate, which could decide whether or not Trump can replace Alito or Thomas with younger and somehow more extreme versions. Imagine a Samuel Alito who plays Minecraft and uses the R word in opinions. Too often, the Democratic establishment has gotten behind figures that aren't exciting or inspiring, who reflect a status quo people despise while arguing the alternative is in one way or another unacceptable. Vote for us or else. I'm not comparing these candidates, obviously, but the majority of them are. Janet Mills, Andrew Cuomo, Haley Stevens, even Hillary Clinton versus Trump. Sorry to lump three qualified women in with Andrew Cuomo. Three delivered bad messages, one delivered bad massages. The point is, over and over again, voters choose or else. Because your promises don't mean much when no one trusts you to deliver. And your electability threats don't carry much weight when no one trusts that you know how to win, given that we have lost the White House, the Senate, the House, and most governorships and legislatures. You're the boy who cried wolf if that boy also had a pet wolf who kept getting loose and terrorizing the town. It is absolutely true that to win in states like Michigan, Democrats have to bring in more moderate voters that take issue with unpopular left-wing views. And look, I'm not afraid to say it. I don't think trans people should get special priority on open table. I also don't think there should be one big communal popcorn bucket at the movie theater that everyone reaches into. But how about we try doing politics? Republicans are going to call Abdul a communist and a terrorist. That is not an exaggeration. That's what Trump and Mike Rogers did today. They want to make this race about anything other than the actual stakes, whether or not we will have a Senate, completely enthralled to Trump, his tax cuts for the rich, cuts to healthcare, corruption, immigration crackdown, the wars, or whether we can have a Senate that holds Trump accountable while beginning the long and hard task of imagining what comes next, in which we should all be glad to have Abdul's voice. That ought to excite all of us. It ought to inspire all of us. And if we can make that case, we can win. And I think we should try that. So if you want to be involved in this midterm election, go to votesaveamerica.com. I'm once again asking you to sign up. Take all that concerns, your hopes, and put it into actually getting involved in this campaign. We can win the House. We have a chance of taking the Senate. And that matters so much more than whatever internecine battles we've had. So thank you. Back to you, John, you beautiful son of a bitch. And we're back. Thank you, future John. You still got it. Now back to the show. We'll have Porna Jaganathan out in a moment. But first, if you haven't gotten tickets to CrookedCon yet, exciting new faces joining us. At Crooked, we believe the answer to rising right-wing authoritarianism is a big, welcoming, fun, pro-democracy movement. We've invited some of the biggest voices online to all-day CrookedCon. At CrookedCon, you'll have the chance to meet creators and new media personalities who make sense of the news with humor and hot takes. They'll be bopping around the D.C. Convention Center, hosting happy hours, Q&As, and workshops for attendees. They'll also be making content, because what happens at CrookedCon ends up online for every political person. And nerd to see. Check out which creators are joining us so far at CrookedCon.com and grab your tickets today. We will see you in D.C. All right. Let those who worship evils might be where my power and my next guest from HBO's Lanterns, please welcome to the stage, Porna Jaganathan. Hi. Hi. Thanks for being here. Nice to have you. Come on through. Hi. Hello, John. In Green Lantern, the Lanterns can create anything into existence, and the fights are still close. Why? Such a good question. Shouldn't it not be close? It's a lack of imagination. Is that all it is? I think so. Is it just you have to imagine the things? You have to have a massive and out-imagine the other person. Right. Yeah. You know, I understand there's a lot of sex scenes in the show. There's a lot of sex scenes. Do you have any tips? Because I plan to do a lot of sex scenes soon. Uh-huh. I do. If it's HBO, take it all off, John. Sure. Yeah. Depends on the network, you know? I would, like, literally, my only advice is to have a great intimacy coordinator. But so you'd mentioned that your Lanterns sex scenes were a point of pride at 53 years old. Now, we were looking through your and we noticed that you had been asked to play a lot of doctors. Correct. You've been over and over again, and I think this is something that South Asian women. And doctors are not having sex scenes. There's fewer sex scenes for the doctors, a lot more stat. Right. Right. Yeah. But it feels like you're at this moment where you're getting, like, you're in parts that are much more kind of, I don't know, a wider range of performances. Like, in Deli Boys, you get to be a villain, and Lanterns, you're banging it out, you know? Yeah. That must be nice. It's great. It's great. I mean, I think, you know, starting my career, there was a lot of, like, stereotyping going on, right? And they didn't see Indian women as anything beyond, like, a doctor's role or a lawyer's role. And I think that's what's really shifted. Like, now, a lot of creators of color are reimagining the Indian woman as more three-dimensional character. And in Lanterns, I not only have sex, it's not the only thing I do. No, and I know that. Yes. Well, I haven't seen the show yet, but I instinctively knew that. Yes, yes. But, you know, and I said that, the question really was, well, it was something that you were really proud of. It was really something I was terrified of. So, and I, you know, it happened, and it looks great on screen, but I was terrified of it. Now, you talked about this at Comic-Con. This is your first time going to Comic-Con. Yes. Now, Damon Lindelof was on this show. He was. I love him. And this was, he had just mentioned Lanterns. Yeah. And he made a joke about dropping the word green, and he made a little, he made like a light-hearted comment about the green being stupid. He then, months later, when I think the show was getting some more press, he faced such a backlash from such a passionate online. You go to Comic-Con, and you understand why. So, we were in a place called Hall, have you been to Comic-Con? Mm-hmm. So, do you know Hall H? The big one. Yeah, 7,500 people. And when you're sitting on the panel, you can see the end of, you can see the end, right? It's just like this, and it's full. But I would say 80% of the audience was dressed as Green Lantern, you know? And like, it is just people who are so insanely proud and into it, and know every minutiae of everything. It's a point of pride to them, you know? So, first of all, there's so much green in the show. But they, even in the trailer, like, they felt there wasn't enough green in the teaser, and they came after, you know, they came after HBO. They wanted to be as close to their version of, as close to their love as humanly possible. I feel like we went through this phase on comic books where, and it was part of the culture around movies and television generally, which is people really didn't want heroes, they wanted anti-heroes. And what was popular on television was sort of to Walter White in "Breaking Bad" and then the superheroes had to be grittier and more real and that meant like kind of draining out some of the color making it a little less earnest but it feels like we're coming back a little bit towards I don't know like Spider-Man is like a more earnest character like how does this fit into that right like let's say on the you know on the scale of from Superman to Watchmen is Lanterns more towards the kind of like Spider-Man Superman old school or is it more like the kind of Watchmen style like new take on it like where does Lanterns fit in? I think it's totally it's you know within the world of Damon and Chris and Tom which is very much in the Watchmen it actually feels much closer to True Detective than anything else you know it's like it's not so much a buddy cop story because they're antagonists in the show but it feels I don't want to say look I am not really I haven't indulged in the comic book genre since I was a teen and then when I read the script it was so hugely relatable it's a very human script and you know it's an old guard new guard story it's a power struggle story and it's gritty it's not what you think and the twists and the back story and the turns and the writing and the grittiness is insane I remember reading something and I just you know I had by mistake not by mistake because it's what I do I take like a five milligram gummy and then I read the script and I time it so that I'm ready to like you know sleep after it like it doesn't hit me and I remember I'd taken it and I read the last page and I was like did I do acid by mistake like the reveals and the twists and the turns hi Tom the twists and the turns were just unbelievable I once had an edible and I took too much of it and then went to Korean barbecue and then halfway through the meal I said I need to go home and write an apology email because I screwed something up several years ago and did you I did there you go you also in deli boys yes and you said that you watch Real Housewives of Orange County to research being a villain that's right what is it about what is it about the what what are you drawing on from the world of Real Housewives okay I'm gonna I'm gonna rephrase that it's not so much villain I felt like the character is a very physical character and there's a lot of physical comedy and I was looking through and you know she's powerful she's like a cocaine queen pin right right that some would say that that's not good but yeah okay correct you usually you have to see them as a here you're playing this person as a hero but presumably a cocaine kingpin is like sort of on the wrong side of the book totally and I describe her as like not having any exes you know because none of them are alive like she just and you know she'll shoot someone before she she it's just an instinct right she's just very violent but it's a very physical character and two things happen for season one I was really looking through the housewives and I landed on Orange County they seem the most physical of them all and like you see Lucky like doing a lot of this and slapping people and throwing stuff a lot so that's what it was for season two their storyline is that one of her kind of surrogate sons is in jail so I pivoted to Housewives of New Jersey did you ever see the episode of with Teresa where she goes to jail I'm familiar with it but I but it's not my culture I'm I've been in New York and Atlanta yeah and and Beverly Hills but I haven't yet been in New Jersey heard Rhode Island is the best Rhode Island is fantastic you've seen it oh my it's fantastic how is it different from so it's well it's well it actually harks back to the kind of old school Orange County New York style because they really seem to they really know each other there's not a cast these feel like friends and people that are in each other's lives the way it did I think a little bit more when you had people that were kind of just felt when it was more documentary style that's I think what makes it sort of more intimate and they'll they'll they'll have a fight at a child's birthday party for sure oh which you got which you gotta have that's what you gotta have yeah I see the that's it like for any small thing there's violence which is how the character lucky really is any small thing she'll her first instinct is to choose violence the the other thing about the housewives that I've I've thought I remember when I was in politics there was I'm gonna anonymize the story a little bit but there was a a person who had a non-compete at a private firm and they were offered a very exciting opportunity to come work for the government and their boss who they'd worked for forever had a close relationship with said no I need you at the company right now yeah he said but I've been loyal to you forever like this is I own I'm owed my chance like I how could you do this I'll never forget this and the boss said you're mad and you'll always be a little mad but no matter what you do you'll be less bad over time it's true you know and it was this moment of like someone just saying I can I'm gonna just do the worst thing because it's useful to me right now and I'll deal with the consequences later or maybe I won't why is your words have never been spoken yeah also the villain in that story treacherous yeah not great so treacherous now because you're in lanterns you're part of the DC comics universe you're in good company but you're also in some interesting and surprising company which is why we're gonna quiz you now in a game we're calling superpower bottom here's how it works we're gonna read you a superpower you tell us if this is an actual power of a superhero or villain from DC comments okay you do know I don't know much about this drawing yeah and you'll see let's see how you do all right first up is this a real or fake superpower can eat anything they want fake it's real matter-eater lad was an alien from the planet bismol named tensile chem who can eat any material known to man created by Jerry Siegel and John Forte he first appeared in 1962 cool next up heads fall off so they can beat people with it definitely true no that one's fake there is a superhero whose arms fall off yes so he can be people with it which is cool my powerful astound you observe as I detach my limb I think that's cool I feel like I could write a comic book frankly after seeing these examples what do you think his the name of this character was one guess first thing that pops to your mind arm fall off boy was that actually his name yes arm fall off boy tried to fail to become a member of the legion of superheroes did he make it got it next up a character that shoots various condiments at people yes yes it's real condiment condiment what condiment King created by Bruce Tim for Batman the end pop creative for Batman the animated series a parody of silver age DC supervillains he shot all sorts of condiments from his condiment guns that's a true Indian superhero the cot in the world of the comment the calm the condiments could be fatal if they triggered anaphylactic shock so you had to get someone who was allergic to relish turmeric yeah next up yeah containing thousands of disgusting diseases to infect your enemy with hundred percent that's real yeah yeah the infectious last an alien superhero that's really reignites my interest in comic books then oh she was a woman that's right infectious alien superheroes can be women now surprised you know I'm surprised but I'm surprised about G of it all okay next up being a fire fire-breathing dachshund true a hot dog yeah hot dog ha cool no that's someone who's real that's there that's that's dachshund the fire-breathing dog named hot dog Wow you've won the game I've won it lanterns premieres on HBO max August 16th deli boy season 1 and 2 are on Hulu portal be back at the end of the show and we'll be right back I can't wait what's my present oh just the job well done way to go and can we fly can we fly in a t-shirt we'll get you something thank you we're right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by helix I have a helix mattress at the dawn Lux it's super comfortable I'm really glad I have it sleep on it every goddamn night you know like at the end of the day especially like if you've had a long day you've just been running around it's like the great moment when you like you sort of get into bed you have to go and then you can stream until your brain shuts down and part of that is my super comfortable helix mattress how do you know which mattress is right for you you take the helix sleep quiz and it will match you with the perfect mattress based on your personal preferences and sleep needs they have over 20 mattress models so you can find the perfect model for you he looks delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the u.s. the happy with helix guarantee makes trying your new mattress completely risk-free enjoy a customer-first experience with seamless returns and easy exchanges so you can truly rest easy plus he looks offers a 120 night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty I'm a huge fan of helix go check it out at helix sleep.com slash love it for 20% off site wide that's helix sleep.com slash love it for 20% off site wide helix sleep.com slash love it hey everyone my name is Elijah Cohn and I've been a producer here at crooked media for a decade I love making our shows with the smart creative people who work here and hearing from all of you who listen every week but the thing that I'm proudest of is that video we made of Yvette Gromaswamy grunting while hitting baseballs no wait sorry the thing I'm proudest of is the work we do through vote save america see we don't want our shows to only leave you feeling anxious about the state of the world we want to give you something you can actually do about it just this year our listeners have raised millions of dollars and filled thousands of volunteer shifts to help candidates and causes in the 2026 midterms and we have no plans to slow down as we head into 2028 as far as i know there's no other media company that does what crooked does we make entertaining thoughtful content that brings people into politics and then we give them a direct way to get involved and if you believe in that mission one of the best ways to support us is by becoming a paid subscriber your subscription helps us keep making the shows you love and building a media company that doesn't just talk about politics but helps people change them and if the mission sounds great but you feel like you need some sweet subscriber benefits to get you over the finish line we've got you covered subscribers get ad-free shows plus excellent exclusive podcasts newsletters and much much more so thank you for listening and supporting what we do head to crooked.com friends today learn more and become a subscriber and we're back my next guest is a bad gay but i have a feeling i'm worse please welcome to the stage ellie glazer hi thanks for being here thank you for having me oh i love this couch so you have a new book out the terrible horrible no good very bad gay you seem like a perfectly normal gay to me what makes you a bad gay um i just seem to have missed a lot of cues you know there's just a lot that goes on in the sort of homo normative space oh that i just feel like i've missed these cues for 20 or so years i'm not tantruming i'm just i'm just observing yeah i'm observing uh i mean you seem like a perfectly normal gay to me and i might even say that but but i think for the purposes of the book it there needs to be a flashy title oh i i think you should lean into it a little harder than that okay okay so i'm so bad at it i'm so bad total failure what is it about the here's what i always felt yeah when i was young and gay and then older and gay is it's like who when did you all figure this out that's exactly when did you all when did you all kind of was there a meeting i missed that's what i that's the point the book is essentially about how i feel like i missed day one of gay 101 like i missed the syllabus and that everybody seems to understand and i know not everybody feels this way but at the very least i feel like people are good at pretending that they can and i just can't do it it was yes i just can't do it i i would walk like i was like we're how did what did i like what happened where we where were you doing in high school when i was in mock trial and doing speech and debate right when you were cracking all of these sort of secrets i just had no i was felt i was flummoxed i was baffled completely baffled and that genuinely is the the the flow of the book is trying to figure that out from youth and high school to adulthood but the irony of course is that you know i came out at like 20 as a college freshman thinking i'm ready i'm gonna take this on i'm gonna i really was academic about it i was reading books about being gay i was trying to intern and be in that part of like nightlife never encouraged me to read a book about it well that was my i mean that was my first instinct is to like do something bookish and really try to follow the rules of a an actual guide that i that i'd ordered that i've been gifted actually um and it i failed every chapter one by one now in high school you talked about working at talbot's yes uh and you had to hide your sort of the the homosexuality of sort of poking through the well how hard can you how well can you hide being gay when you're when you're working at talbot's in high school right how did how did you hide it how did i hide it i deflected um you know there there were certainly a couple of my lovely co-workers who were trying to like you know get the dirt on like what girls i was into and and i'm like do you see where we do you see where we are like this is the missy section of talbot's and i am selling cardigans and dusters to you i feel like we we're contemporaries and i feel like we were growing up and realizing we were gay at a at the last period of time where people could sound the way that we do and people would still not think of it you know what i'm saying that like it was just like oh yes you did the i remember being asked over like a girlfriend listen to how i'm talking look at what my hand's doing when i say this right you know what i'm saying but there was still there was still like a kind of generation that just it was just not it wasn't even that they were pretending to not think about it they truly weren't thinking about it yeah i mean even i was watching the rosie o'donnell show and i was like she just hasn't found the right guy yet i really it was just like she really liked tom cruise she loved but i mean genuinely i also you know obviously it was my own secret at you know in y2k 90s era where i was just guarding it with all my life but i don't know at the same time like i just also wasn't thinking it about everybody else and i think that was the last bastion before glee basically yeah before glee changed at all world the world of post glee world yeah you know ag we live in it's your set it's your 21 ag after glee we start again we started again after that super bowl where they put that glee episode on in the craziest programming decision in all of human history like you know what people are going to want to enjoy after the super bowl plea whatever the fuck this is glee uh i also i have found in thinking back to that period where i was figuring it out what figuring out what it is to be gay is there was very little to me in the conversation or in just what i knew about it that had to do with gender like gender was not part of it at all like being gay was maybe you could be effeminate and that's just was a quality of being gay but you were but really what it was was you are attracted to men and that is the secret but all the other aspects of it that are clearly associated with being gay were either seen as incidental or a separate matter which is like having the qualities of your female friends like did you find that like where did you were your friends girls in college like was that part of what it was for you to be or were you sort of more like like have you become i think more feminine as you become more comfortable being gay i think would be the question that's a good question i mean i still feel like a dope most of the time like an oafish dope often but um uh oh thank you um but i think at the same time like getting older there is a joy to like letting loose a little bit um and i don't know if the word's like feminine but just like yeah like like careless you know but back then i mean back then it was it was a different story but i also feel like at least yeah when when when we were young you were just gay and like queer wasn't really even a term that would cross my cross my path at any point whereas now it's i use that i identify as that and you know the spectrum is so wide and um it feels like weird to not acknowledge that to a degree you tell us during the book about accidentally dying one of your teeth blue can you walk us through it sure um uh there was a summer where i had to get my front tooth um replaced and i i didn't realize for some for some reason i thought that they take the tooth out and then put a new one in right away and the dentist was like that's not how that works you have to like take it out put a post in your gum grows around it and then they put the new tooth in so yeah i didn't know that either so basically i had to wear a flipper for several months uh which is basically like it adheres to the adheres to the top of your the roof of your mouth and then it's just like a fake tooth right here and so i was basically at um i was seeing a gentleman who lived like two hours south of la he was under house arrest um because i make my choices uh-huh uh and there's nowhere he is though it's kind of cool what's that you kind of know where he is i do at all times it's like a kind of like it's like pre-find my and you don't have to worry about find my he doesn't have to track the government has found him he's he's being tracked he's been found found you yes the government yes i was i was his chauffeur sometimes like oh like the times we were allowed to he was allowed to go out i would take us on you know excursions to trader joe's and you know all the sexy spots um but i had my flipper with me basically and i forgot my is this really interesting i think the fact that you drove two hours to see someone under house arrest is sort of interesting whether for us or a therapist somebody's interested i'm a little bit more interested in that i'm a little bit more interested in the little i'm i would say that i'm concerned uh concerned about the choices you're making that was because i was like i will go anywhere to find a guy who's like like reads you know like i just felt like i couldn't i got nobody in the tmz huh this was just this was what he was lovely except for the house arrest thing well sure other than that mrs lincoln etc but but but we believe it we believe in rehabilitation shame on all of you fully uh and and so i mean i would say this just sorry to sort of introduce some nuance no problem that you're seeing somebody under house arrest no problem you're driving two hours to see somebody i think my main concern is you're driving two hours to see somebody under house arrest right that to me is where you're sort of like well when that when that when he was out of house arrest when he was done with his sentence i was like super excited for him to come up to la and see like my world and he didn't wow he ghosted i was like cool cool cool cool this is great uh but you want to hear how the tooth got yeah what about the tooth basically long story short i was at his place and i didn't i forgot got my like tooth cleaner or whatever so instead of putting it in like a normal denture cleaner i soaked it in listerine thinking that did the same thing and so by the time i woke up and i had to rush back to la to get to a sunday audition of all things my tooth was smurf blue um but i fell in love with him like deeply chemically fell in love with him because as i was panicking i found him in the kitchen like hunched over the sink brushing it with like bleach he was like a real like clean freak and i was like i'm getting married this is we are getting married he's my betrothed this is this is it but no but no but no but he but there was there was there was a real connection there exactly and he couldn't come to yours my what home no no that didn't happen now speaking of being a bad gay you also have a sports podcast called you think you can sports uh with trackers justin hartley and uh charles barkley's producing it that's cool yes uh do you know of sports um so the podcast um is yeah it'll be out in a few months it's called so you think you can sports and the point of it all is that i know absolutely nothing about that's a relief that's a relief to me i know nothing and so and charles is the ep and justin hartley is the ep so it's some real like big man cis dude sports energy and i'm just sitting down with world-class athletes as the dumbest human being they have ever met i'm jealous of of the like the full sports experience because like it it the the energy that comes off oh my god it's like it's like it's like every there's a finale of their favorite show every sunday that's so cool it's a drug they're on at all times that they can there's community there's community clothing um places to go things to eat cities to visit there's so many things that go into that sports fan identity that i would love to inherently have that and yet i couldn't care less i know and there was a you like drag wait have you seen the savannah bananas yes i've seen this event i'm into that the uh because they're hot but also they are hot they are hot um uh uh when my parents were here there was somehow the savannah bananas came up and my dad just kept saying over and over and it's great baseball just so you know elliot inspired by your book yeah we thought we'd both share a few ways in which we are bad gays in a segment we're calling is it just me uh i'll go first i struggle with the term partner yes partner oh sorry the question i'm here you go go for it yeah the part the term partner i feel like that's been co-opted by straight people now so the the the yeah the onus is less on us but it always felt like i'm not in a law part you know i don't practice law this is this is my boyfriend or my husband it just felt too formal and almost like i don't know stodgy yes there's something dusty because i don't know i don't know i don't i remember there's a there's a part of um it comes up in the film american beauty uh uh fantastic performance by kevin spacey the rest doesn't hold up as well of course uh but uh uh scott bacula and his and his partner and that introduced himself as partner and once i'm a lawyer i'm a periodontist and that always stuck with me i was like the meat of what partner was and i'm i'm married now but my spouse who i alternate between husband spouse and partner because they're non-binary and like partner sucks husband doesn't feel right spouse feels like we're doing last will and testament you know sure sure there's no good word there's no good word and also it feels like it does feel co-opted in the sense that when straight people do it they're doing it as a way to keep you guessing and it's like i know what's going on here well so yes it is a way yes yes it is the keeping guess it's like they want to kind of be cool like us mysterious yeah it's our word and also we don't want it we don't want it anymore that's right uh now uh uh you in the book you talk about not liking poppers yeah i don't want that makes my head hurt it makes me dizzy and again it's another thing that i feel has been co-opted by straight people but i'm like god bless like take them i don't i don't really understand them i know they're for your like butt but like you do understand them oh i do i understand you because that's it i understand that they're for your butt i don't understand what like why do them while like dancing or something yeah sort of i think people like it as a kind of like it's like almost like a um what's that thing people would do whip it it's almost like a whip it yeah but it lasts so short and and i don't know it's just it just makes my head hurt yeah i agree with that and i'll do one more which is everything's so loud too too loud the idea of i don't know this took a long time to admit but it's like the idea of being like let's go out you know we are going out it's like to a loud thing again there's so many loud things and i just i would love a gay like library a gay sound bath you know i used to wear earplugs when i went to um uh very rarely there was this one big club people go to in dc when i lived there and i would just put in my earplugs and go there you are that is golden and then one time i forgot my earplugs it was so loud and my ears hurt and i swear to god i believe that the day before if i was passed by a fire truck i would have to cover my ears thereafter it's been over and i think that one night without the earplugs had an impact is that crazy i believe you and i support that and i also think um i do i love the idea of earplugs at at the club or normalize earplugs i have them all over the place it's just i'm always wearing earplugs but like i don't i guess i also don't understand the idea of like going out with the purpose of like meeting other guys but needing to like scream over music for it it's like this is let's go to the library or a park or something because here's here's what i think is good i i because i think this is the tyranny of uh like if people have different arrows in their quiver like i feel like if there's a everyone's on a spectrum that runs from um i'm out here my 100 looks all the way to 100 personality yeah and basically it's a it's a kind of like tyranny of the good looking and the and the community on the personality and charm based community exactly because you're in there you're screaming it's like nobody can see what i'm selling here correct i'm not what i'm offering requires silence yeah this is a noggin yeah like let's does anybody want to talk about politics i mean imagine it's different in dc though you'd think no thank you ellie glazer the terrible horrible no good very hit stores on august 11th and we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by thrive market the best thing about thrive market is that it takes the chore out of grocery shopping rather than wandering through crowded stores you can customize your shopping experience online filter by your personal health goals and dietary needs to find exactly what you need in seconds no stressing over labels or googling every additive every product and brand is vetted before they ever hit the site the in-app barcode scanner finds a healthier swap for almost anything in your pantry right now member pricing up to 30 off plus weekly sales plus free gifts plus price matching plus free delivery on qualifying orders all in the membership 90 plus filters mean you're only seeing what works for you high protein low sugar glp1 friendly gluten-free keto and more no more decision fatigue your filtered results only show what fits your household i had some uh chomp 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and filled thousands of volunteer shifts to help candidates and causes in the 2026 midterms and we have no plans to slow down as we head into 2028 as far as i know there's no other media company that does what crooked does we make entertaining thoughtful content that brings people into politics and then we give them a direct way to get involved and if you believe in that mission one of the best ways to support us is by becoming a paid subscriber your subscription helps us keep making the shows you love and building a media company that doesn't just talk about politics but helps people change them and if the mission sounds great but you feel like you need some sweet subscriber benefits to get you over the finish line we've got you covered subscribers get ad free shows plus excellent exclusive podcasts newsletters and much much more so thank you for listening and supporting what we do head to the link in the description below and we'll see you next week head to crooked.com slash friends today to learn more and become a subscriber and we're back like a gorgeous blue tooth glimmering in the sea of normal white teeth it's the most beautiful things that are the least appreciated which is why we must celebrate them in a segment we're calling i don't care i love it let's welcome horna back to the back to the stage welcome - Welcome back. - Thank you. - Join us here. - Hello. So here's how it works. We're each going to rant about a topic that's something that we love that maybe other people don't like or might criticize us for loving. Elliot, do you want to kick us off? Yes. Yes, I do. Do I just go? Just go. Okay. What I love and maybe other people don't love currently is brawl videos on YouTube. I am obsessed with watching people get into fights at crab buffets, at big box stores, parking lots, all over America, all over the world, quite honestly. People have the shortest tempers and the tiniest fuses, and I just love watching people lose it. I don't know. There's something primitive and real about it, and I imagine myself in that situation, but I couldn't imagine actually doing the things that they're doing. What are they doing? They're just getting it. They're getting it. They're getting it. The way that people get so mad at a drive-thru is bonkers. People lose their minds waiting for fast food in the drive-thru line, and there's violence. There's gunplay. It's wild. There's a TV show in particular called Customer Wars. There's a whole franchise of wars, customer wars, road wars, neighborhood wars, I think Christmas wars. I am obsessed. I can't get enough. What does it do? What? What is it about the conflict? Is it that there's an aspect of the justice to it? What is it that is coming? What is it satisfying when you say it's primitive? What is it hitting? My sister has always called me street justice because I have this. I'm generally a nice and polite person. You might even say conflict avoidant, but when it comes to somebody doing wrong by my friend or family, I become a pit bull. Wait. How about a stranger? If you see someone wronging a stranger, will you get into it? I don't know. I kind of have to split the difference. If they're doing it to a woman, I am in, but I don't know. I feel like it's. There is a catharsis there because I am yearning for that sense of justice. Part of it, I do think. I get fed a lot of this kind of stuff, and I think everybody does, whether it's people arguing or street stuff, road rage stuff. Yeah. And I do think it's because we kind of. Maybe there's like a. I think it's because I feel like, oh, well, people are being kind of more rude or more insensitive or more kind of oblivious in public. And then like. You mean now than ever before. Yeah. And I just sort of huff and I get annoyed, and then you see these videos where it's like coming to some sort of peak. Yes. And there's something satisfying about that in an unhealthy way, I think. Absolutely unhealthy. People are uncaged, and it feels like a very post-2015 kind of behavior. And so watching it unfurl. I mean, it's a guilty pleasure in the sense that it's terrible for my brain and my eyes. Because you must be getting a little mad. You're getting activated, as the therapist might say. But it's so engaging. And then like. Do you do this right before bed? I try not to, but oh my God. It's. I can't turn away. I can't turn away. I mean, I feel like we used to have World Star Hip Hop, that site where they would have all these brawls and public fights. But I never. I don't know. That wasn't just for me, but this especially. I mean, it's a lot of COVID era stuff. It's a lot of that. And there is some sense of. I don't know. The Karen video era. It's a lot of that. The way watching people misbehave on airplanes fills me with some sense of disgusting, puerile joy that I just can't shake. Yeah. Yeah. It's because it's a public execution. Yes. I agree. I feel the same. I'm not judging. Porna, what is your I don't care. I love it. That took a very serious turn. Mine is so stupid. That's perfect. We love stupid. It needs to be. But I would really appreciate some riff on it. It is a Japanese toilet. Oh, it's like a Toto. Oh. Oh my God. You love it. Obsessed. How fancy is your toilet? Are we talking bidet? Are we talking way more? I mean, I know, obviously, bidet. I mean, it doesn't talk, but it literally does everything else. How elaborate. If this toilet could talk. If this toilet could talk, what would it say? The stories. The judgment. I will. I. This is hard. Because I, yeah, I don't understand how people don't have them in their homes. When it is an option. When you go, once you, so they have the, like, the little, and I'll say, I say this as an advocate. I buy these as gifts, just so you know. You buy what as gifts? I buy the toilet. The kind that you can add to an already existing toilet. And it's cheap, right? Toilet or the Toto washlet. It's not expensive. It's not crazy. It's not crazy. And I give it as a gift sometimes because I am a true believer. Yeah. I will never go back. Yeah. Because people think, oh, it must be nice. No. No. It's not nice. It's not a nice to have. It's not better. It doesn't make, it makes every day a little bit better. Yeah. And that's great. Yes. But here's what it can also do. Yes. It can take what would have been a bad day. Yeah. And turn it into a fun day. And turn it into a forgettable day. It can turn a bad day into a normal day. Not just a normal day into a better day. It can make a day that would have been terrible into something fine. You know what I'm saying? I love you so much. You're so articulate. But it's also in the middle of the night. You go to the bathroom and like the seat is so warm. Oh, yeah. It's like, oh, my God. It's delightful to take a shit. You know what I mean? Not in the middle of the night. That's not what I'm doing. No. No. That's exciting. That's exciting. But it's delightful. And it has so many buttons. I don't know. I just use the basic button, but it has so many different permutations, combinations. Wait. You need to experiment. You need to press those buttons. You know, I'm not good with technology. I got to say. I'm not great. I should really go for it, though. Go for it. There's only so bad wrong you can go in there. I mean, my remote has about eight buttons to it. I have no idea. I just use one. I mean, there are seven buttons. There are seven very interesting paths you could take tonight. Are you guys Japanese? Like, what are the other buttons doing? There's a front and back. Like, I know that. You got it. I think you know. I think you know the ins and outs of this thing. I've never used the air dryer. I would try that. Why not? Yeah. What else is there? Treat yourself. Okay. Tonight. There's the button that calls the hospital. The emergency. So, like, you just, like, you just fly off. You flew through the ceiling. Yeah. But it's really, like, I, sometimes I don't even want to leave my house. It's so, it's so wonderful. And it's such a revelation. Does it raise and close by itself? Yeah. That's elevated. Like, come on. That's sophistication. So, downstairs, we have the cheaper version. But upstairs is the master bedroom. Upgraded. That shit costs, like, 3,000 bucks. Wow. Yeah. The Lambo. The Lambo of the toilets. Yeah. It's a, you know, it's the, we got all the best, get all the bells and whistles. Oh, my God. But, you know what? You know, that's, when you think about rooms you're going to spend a lot of time in, there's a reason they call it the throne. And, and also, I feel, I mean, I think as a gay guy, I can say we, we. Tell me. Yeah. I feel like at this point, it's pretty. Wait, do you have one? Yeah. I, I, I'm almost, I would, at this point, I feel like eight to nine out of 10 gay male homes. Have? Or, yeah. It's, it, yes, of course. Yeah. Of course. Of course. Well, because, you know. You know. Because, you know. You know. Because, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a lot of South Asian homes still don't have it, which is bizarre to me. Hmm. Huh. Probably the gay South Asian homes do have it. They do. A thousand percent. All right. I'm up. And mine is going to be anchovies. What? Anchovies. I have become, I don't know what's going on. I, I love them. I love them. And I feel like I'm going to, at some point, be diagnosed with some sort of deficiency because something's going on. There's something going on where, like, like, I'm, like, ripping into, like, I'm adding them to eggs in the morning. Like, something. What is the vitamin situation for anchovies? Like, what do they give you? I, I think. Fish oil. Yeah. Fish oil. Omega fatty acids, as they say. You got it. Are you doing the tins? Tins. You're unpeeling the tins. I'm unpeeling the tins. I feel like, I, I feel like in the past few years, a lot of people I know around our age range have gotten into tinned fish. Yes. And especially the idea of anchovies and eating fresh anchovies. It is funny because it feels like both a healthy choice and a very, like, old Jew choice. Yes. Because I'm used to that from my grandparents. Yes. You know, and I never would have expected those things to meet that Venn diagram to happen. When you were a kid, did your grandparents eat herring? Herring. Herring and onions. Disgusting. Herring and onions and cream. Disgusting. Do people know about this food? Do people know about this? This is. It is so gnarly. Herring with onions. No. In cream. Yes. In cream. In thick cream. It was everywhere. I remember it like, and I love my grandparents and miss them. I mean, dearly, but I remember it specifically in the folds of his mouth. Yeah, for sure. A white, creamy fish substance. Yeah. So we've met, but anchovies feel classy. Sometimes, you know, history rhymes. Joe Biden said that, quoting a poem. Joe Biden quoted a poem once that said that. We'll be right back. And we're back. Well, now it's time for us to really dig in. To some second thoughts. Here's how it works. To close out the show, my producers have given me a list of things they wish I hadn't said or done during the show. If you have things you regret from tonight. You can share it as well. This is an opportunity to wonder if you have any regrets or things you wish you had said differently or any questions you have about things you've talked about. This is the place where we talk about it. My first, second thoughts are from the monologue. I made us picture both Trump's weird penis and Biden's dangling hog. I referred to a greasy taint. A lot of audio of RFK Jr.'s voice in this episode. A lot of audio. It says, and then really quite a bit of RFK audio. Let's see. I gave Porna not one second to get comfortable before asking about sex scenes. Indeed. I romanticized dating someone on house arrest. You did. Didn't make a single Bluetooth joke. And you regret that. Yeah, I think that's right. It was right there. It's the title of the chapter. You had to connect. When you took it back from me, you had to connect to your Bluetooth. Yes. You know, for example, that was just sitting there. Got a big laugh, obviously. And then I somehow told an earplug story two shows in a row. Really? But it's a different earplug story, so I think it's fine and I don't regret it. It's charming. Are they telling you what you should be regretting or do you actually? Oh, okay. These are their suggested regrets. Just a judging crowd. And just so you know, they can sometimes give me what is called a kudos. Oh, but that hasn't come your way. Not today. Okay. No kudos for me today from the team. Okay. Someone in a different pen clearly graced, grabbed this paper and wrote, we may have started a toilet-based class war. That's true. To be clear, the $3,000 toilet is not the one that doesn't cost a lot. I just want to make sure that we're making that distinction. How much is it? Just tell me. I feel like the higher end one for just the one you add to the sheet could be $200. But there's ones that I think are between $100 and $200 certainly possible. Come on, guys. And just amortize that across every poop you take over two or three years. That's pennies. That's pennies depending on your situation. And honestly, the more poops, the more you need it. Any regrets or thoughts before we close? I do think it was funny when you said that you have girl brain or that you kind of alluded to the idea that you couldn't hide being gay because you're so girly. And I just never would have thought of you that way. Well, I think that there's parts. I think that I picture it as almost like whatever is your personality, there's different parts that are more feminine and more masculine. Totally. And I think the assumption that men are, I think fairly probably, right? Most cisgendered men are mostly masculine in the ways men are mostly masculine. And so that means that at a gay bar, most of the men have a masculine relationship to sex. It is built around that relationship to sex. But there's a, I think, a sizable group of men probably more than in the straight male community because by nature, I think we are more feminine and whatever that correlation is would mean that there are probably more gay guys that have a more feminine, traditionally considered feminine relationship to sex and I am one of those people. But there was no space to talk about that or think about that or feel normal because of that because the expectation is you can go on Grindr or just meet somebody and if that's not for you, it's hard to find your people because it's fewer of them, I guess. Yeah. And you're already in a smaller group of people because gay. It's small, right? Because it's gay. Is it gay? Because it's gay. I regret not being here during any of the segments. And we regret that you weren't here too. That sounded great. We regret that you weren't here too. Yeah. So that's our show. Thank you so much for corner dragging up and at Elliot Glazer there are 90 days until the midterms and we will be back in your feeds on Friday with a brand new episode. Thanks everybody. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Keeper, Sarah Lazarus, Raman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroote. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. Hey everyone. My name is Elijah Cohn and I've been a producer here at Crooked Media for a decade. I love making our shows with the smart, creative people who work here and hearing from all of you who listen every week. But the thing that I'm proudest of is that video we made of Yvette Gromiswamy grunting while hitting baseballs. No wait, sorry. The thing I'm proudest of is the work we do through Vote Save America. 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