Picky Eaters w/ Trevor Wallace!

Gang, Tootie's got a limited 4th of July drop coming at ya. We got some nice t-shirts. Show up to the barbecue looking fresh, clean, and patriotic. Yeah, don't be a bozo. Available at RUGarbage.com while supplies last. Happy 4th of July. Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RUGarbage. It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that they're good to be classy. Yeah. Or if they're just a big old piece of trash. Trash, trash, trash. I'm your host, Tate Fuller, coming at ya on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's down in the basement with the cable guy. Okay. So, bad news is there's a funk down there, a little smell, but we got free HBO. There we go. All right. Take nine. With commercials. What'd you say? With commercials. Got the bad Hulu package? I did just buy the bad Hulu package. We just talked about it. My mom's got it. She's got no general hospital. She's freaking out over there. I'm so pissed. But that's neither here nor there. Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RU Garbage, international businessman, and I would assume not too happy with me right now. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James, Ryan, everybody. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are in the middle of the charts. We're climbing. Right where we want to be. Not showing off, not falling behind. And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage. You join the over 15,000 people over there. How you doing? Let's go. Let's go. And gang, we couldn't be more excited. Have our incredible. Incredibly. And I mean, incredibly special guest. Back with us again today. Good friend of the show. Yes. You look up. Their time. You look up killing it in the dictionary. You'll see a picture of this kid with his perfect hair. He's currently on the Alphabet of Mail Tour. Give it up for Trevor Wallace, everybody. Hey, thanks for having me. Kev Foley. Good to see you guys. Hey, pal. Good to see you. I want to pass along. We had Rory Scovel here not that long ago. And you were with him the day before he was coming here. He was trashing you. No, no, no. Good, good, good. And you had very kind words about the show. He was like, I was talking to Trevor about it yesterday. He said, you're going to love the show. It's so much fun. Those guys are great, which is always nice to hear. Oh, yeah, dude. We love you, buddy. Big ups to the show. I've always loved this. And people who have asked me about it, I go, dude, it's so fun. It's literally a writing session. Sure. Because there's so many bits that come out of it where you unlock so many memories. Never thought about, yeah. It's great. It's fun. That's what he said. He said you said, yeah. Thanks for you saying it in a worse way. That's what he said. You said what I said. All right, let's get Roy back on. I feel like I'm on drugs right now. I don't know why. You sound like it. Something in the air. I wanted to ask you both this question. No. That's all the time we have for today. Is it about Cuomo? What are we talking? All right, so I forgot to bring this up to you, but maybe like a few weeks ago, I was down at home in Bluebell. I was at the Whitpaint Tavern, if you want to know. I'm with my cousin. Big flux. Oh, shit. They let you in? How'd you get a table there? Open table. Got him on resi. Great spot. Great, great local spot. Sure. I'm with my cousin, Paul, and he's like, let's get- This story's getting worse. Paul. Paul's there. You got no Paul. I'm with generic guy, Paul. Friend of the show. Friend of the show, Paul. Okay. You're at a bar with your bozo cousin. Yeah, that's right. Okay. Wants to order wings. All right. Whoa. What is- Who wrote this? Homer Simpson? I told my agents I didn't want to do a woke podcast. Can we tone it back a little bit? He wants to order wings. And he goes, I'm going to order all drumsticks. Is that okay? Weird. And I'm like, what? And I'm like, I'm going to want some drumsticks too. And he's like, then we have to get two orders, all drumsticks. That's a lot of drumsticks. Is that normal? Wait, hold on. He doesn't like the flats. I love flats. But that's my favorite. But either way, whether it was the flats or not, do you have that power to ask to just get one or the other? That was the trashiest thing I've ever heard in my life. I would say, this is my take, and then you seem like you have good thoughts on it. I would say 20 years ago, that'd be a wild ask. I think you're allowed to now, and I don't know why. I don't know why. You're just allowed to do that. That's not how wings work. But he was ordering for himself, not for the table, right? It was for us. Okay. We're going to share it at the bar. It's not who's it for. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter who's it for. It could be me, you. It doesn't matter if I eat all the wings or not, and Paul didn't get any. Could you sit there and say to a server or a bartender, we want to order some wings, but I don't want any flats or I don't want any drumsticks. I just want all one thing. What's the kid doing the fry you're going to think? He's got to pull them out one by one? Yeah. You got to hope someone wants all flats. Exactly. And you're left over with all flats after that. Well, usually they, I mean, on some of the apps, you can like pay an upcharge for just drumstick or just flats. You can? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm behind the times. Big Buffalo Wild Wings. I think you can do that. Big Chicken Wing is getting after it. Shout out to the boys at Tyson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're probably tanking down there. The Big Chicken Wing propaganda. But sometimes, that's an app thing. Asking the server, server, the server waitress, I don't know, is that weird or not? You got to go back. Okay. As a certain, you got to go back and you got to say to the fry guy, who's probably not having a great day. And probably not too pumped about what he's doing. You know, if the waiter or waitress said, do you want all drums or all flats? Then, yes. Then you have an option. But to just delegate tasks, now I'm getting it. It seems wild to me. It seems wild. And how many was it? Was it like a 10-piece order per person or what are we talking about? It would have been 20 wings. Okay. That's a lot of counting. It's a lot to assume that a fry cook can count up to 20. This guy's got good points. I'll have to tell you. Very true. I only got 10 hands. What do you want me to do? Count on my toes. How much of it? I mean, you're an LA guy. You know what I mean? You do well. I love your interpretation of him. You do well. You literally think he's the coolest guy in the world, which he's a very cool guy. I think he's the coolest guy ever, and I think he's a billionaire. Yes. Flew on a rocket ship to get here. I was going to ask, are you a special request guy at the restaurant? No. No. I take what I, like, if I say no cilantro and there's cilantro, I go, this is it. These are how my cards are dealt. I got to play that. It stays humble. What would have to happen for you to send it back? Or not send it back, but go like, you know, anything? It'd have to be wild. Yeah, I don't know if I've ever sent anything back. I'm sure I have, but I just, my thought is I never want to delay the group. Because, you know, they send my shit back. Now everybody's waiting. Now we're on a 20-minute delay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of just, but here's the bitch thing. I'll do. I'll out loud say that I don't like it and hope other people are like, well, do you want some of mine? I like that move. Pass it to the table. You put it on the table. Well, if somebody asks, again, we're back to that. Hey, Trevor. How's your burger? Ah, salmon's a little dry. I don't know. This isn't really what I thought it would. And then would you, will you even go? That was great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want some of mine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Salmon's a little dry. I knew I should have got what you got. Well, do you want? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's subtle. It's a great way to ask for that. That's great. Well, do you want a bite? No, you can. And then next thing you know, they're scraping it on a little tea plate for you. See, I pictured you at the Grove with other influencers ordering off the menu or something like that. No, I don't, I don't know if. He doesn't even know what anything he just said is. That was a big, that was for a New York guy. You were hitting the gym at the Grove. I saw it. It was in Get Shorty. Yeah, okay. Danny DeVito goes and orders that omelet. That's what I assume all you guys are doing out there. A little bit. There's definitely those dinners, but when people just start ordering a muck, you know, then you can just kind of pick and choose. Yeah, I love that. A little bit of that, a little bit of this, yeah. Now, I got something to say here. So, you know, we might have crossed paths with this at some point. If there's, this is a different time, too. Say you're out with your friend and everybody's ordering stuff. How's that getting chopped up? You jumping on that grenade at all? Bill Wise? Yeah. Someone else jumping on it? Is it, what's, what are the, what are the vibes? You know, it depends if I'm drinking or not. Yeah. If I'm two cocktails deep, get the platinum card out. Ding, ding. I'm trying to. We're talking business. Because then it's almost like, no, I got it, I got it, I got it. But if it's, it really just depends. On the company. Yes. Yeah, because usually. Because I'll split or I'll just try to offer my whatever. But sometimes someone's just like, I got it, I insist, I insist, I insist. I'm also a big, he's. I think it gets. Banned with money. Yeah, no, I think it gets to a point. I'm the same way. I'm happy to pay for it. But like, if someone else goes, I got it. I go, you sure let me get another thing. Yeah. I give you a one or two. One or two, yeah. But then it's like, it's like tacky. Like, give me that check. I said, give me the check. It's like, you're making, I feel like you're making it weird sometimes to be like, all right, I'll get you on the next. Like. I'm also about convenience, too. A hundred percent. If it's like, there's six of us. Somebody's like, well, we can all split it six way. Now you're giving a waitress six credit cards. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, It just feels like a lot to divvy up. It's like, I'd rather just do this and then, hey, this is my good karma for the week. And nine out of ten times, you're the one that she's going to remember. Trevor, Trevor came here. He asked for all flats. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He threw the Buffalo Wild Wings. But to go back on that, I now, how many, I mean, we travel as a crew. There's six of us when we go out on the road and stuff like that. And they'll, every single time, or 90% of times they go, how many checks? You look like losers. Like, they ask for that automatically, which I think now is just more. So I do think asking for all drumsticks or flats, you're now, it's now more curated to the diner rather than get what we have type. That's all I'm trying to say. Some places are real sticklers with it. On the bottom of the seat, it'll say, like, two cards max. Which I love that. I love that. What are you doing? I like it. Fucking, listen, you go out as a group, settle it as the group. Don't bring the waitress in. Yeah, yeah. What are your thoughts on no substitutions? You go to a place and they go, we don't do substitutions at the bottom of the menu. And like. Fuck you, I'm paying you. I'm saving you money. I don't want tomato. Take it off. That shouldn't be, that should be a. modification not a substitution i'll give you that flag on the plate but but but if it's a nice joint and it's like uh um it's like a chef let him do his thing okay i listen i think if you go hey if you go hey i you know hey instead of the side salad can i do the lobster bisque i think that's a big upswing you know what i mean but i think if you want hey can i do that with no i do the burger with no tomatoes that for sure just makes me hate the kitchen immediately i got you yeah it's like who are you fucking telling me what i can do just don't even know me yeah i just sat down this is what it is uh-huh no we can't give it give a little take a little buddy you're preaching the choir because i like i like a lot of making a lot of modifications yeah and they're subtle there's nothing crazy it's just like hey no rugel on a burger that doesn't belong here belongs on the side yes yeah and i'll go to i'll go to hey no tomato no let whatever that's just taking something off that should be okay you right but sometimes when you before you even start hey do you guys mind they go they cut it off right before you even get to that hey do you guys mind boom sometimes those places those servers they have the attitude of the chef it's like yeah you're not while i mean well they know that they gotta deal with the chef right now yeah of course they gotta deal with the chef true but sometimes those guys we had that somewhere where they hated us most places we go most big no they don't like you they don't like him really and as a waiter i'm a dickhead you think you think they did i'm your guy also he was a waiter for a while he was a career waiter until this show took off they're referring to an incident at marvin in los angeles that's what they're referring to i believe yeah yeah so as a previous waiter do you know lingo to kind of like get your like your stripes in because i got a buddy i got in and out i got a buddy that used to work there and we'd go there running with a cool crew but he would wait until after ordering then he'd be like so what level are you and the guy'd be like yo you used to work and then he would feel like um you know it's like now it's not customer customer it's like oh whoa oh we're chill like that there's like a connection a bomb yeah so would you drop anything or are you the guy that's like cleaning up plates for the waiter waitresses you mean like like trying to talk jive to a black guy or something like that like i would know that like i got the let me handle this i got yeah yeah when you go to a reebok and you say hey you play 2k right i'm saying like uh is there anything you're saying when ordering like hey i know it's probably a small kitchen you're probably 86 this already so do me a favor before you fire the entrees can we start out with the amuse bouche yeah and make sure that you uh mise en place everything yeah but are you saying any buzzwords to let him know like hey i was once i was once on your side he tries oh really and outside in you can defend yourself outside in he goes heavy too quick ah of like you don't want to put them out at all you don't want them doing extra work so you go out where you don't need to and it's like and they hate me for that he throws a lot of stuff at them as they're like trying to they'll be like take a you know be like oh hey here's your water i don't i got we're okay i want to see you hey these we got the forks we got the night we're nobody you can take the guy's like i was just gonna ask if you needed refill it's like it's a lot and then they get weird about it i did it one time with a bottle of wine okay the the guy came over to port and i was like nah it's okay i'll do it he was like the yeah i work your own napkin on i sit him down i'm crumbing you taste it no i can tell you as a server i used to hate that when somebody would be like well i've worked in the business right well you're not working here now you dumb bitch i said no tomato you get fired for a reason okay hand over the breadsticks um okay oh sorry yeah i was gonna say i want to check in with i want to check in with the kids see what's going on on a similar thing we have of recent debate which i caught a lot of a lot of flack for um i strapped in we are getting controversial um i said and maybe this came off wrong and i defended it with an occupation i said there should be an age limit to when a respectable adult should be eating doritos respectable i got to say i don't like them and i don't love them okay but it's right i i gotta hear what age you taught people out but hold on before you ask that i i need to know what kind of guy i'm dealing with right now as you sit here how do you feel about the cool ranch dorito i had him two days ago okay good yeah you know i don't need anything this guy's a comedian he's in that's okay he's nowhere where i'll get on board with that is a doritos locos taco from taco bell you must be 14 or younger that's a lot going on there's a lot going on you can't have a whole family and have dorito crust on all five fingers being like well i don't know do you want to see world or not and then your head that's got a name that's a messy hug yeah the one bag you can kind of that's a two-finger cleanup but when you're doing the whole the whole taco that's fourth eighth grade and below you can't be signing people's report cards if you're fucking right yeah well that there's my thing would you look at it differently say you were you know you were you got arrested and you went to meet with your lawyer and he's sitting there with a bag of fucking spicy nacho and he's like don't worry i got you covered you're gonna go i don't fucking know about it it's a privacy thing yeah you can only eat them at home or at an airport other than that okay a little airport is very but you would lose there's no rules at an airport none well there are if you're a pilot i don't want you eating it i'll tell you no right no if i got on a guy was dumping up like the crumbs the crumbs of cool range doritos in his mouth i'd get the fuck off the kind of wondering what's an okay thing for your lawyer to eat something from a place with no substitution a ham and cheese sandwich with no lettuce and tomato yeah that is wife packed yeah there you go or at like a fucking five-star joint where the server knows him he walks over he hands him the hundred dollar bill and everything's taken i want to see some au jus on his table yes yes yes yes so what age i don't want to see meeting fucking nerds rope while we're talking about right i'm gonna trial for murder here yeah i'm gonna hang myself with that nerds rope i would say into your 30s it gets questionable based upon yeah i mean i love them they're delicious it is a more of a immature immature snack there's got to be football on somewhere something yeah road trip on the horizon there that's very good camping i mean first of all i completely push back on this i love them doritos who can be enjoyed by anybody of any age or weight okay so you're taking this as a personal attack that's what i think uh yeah i don't know i just that was that was my i don't know man it's just like not i don't know anybody very respectable doing it as a guy who eats them a lot myself i think maybe the size of the bag sometimes plays in if you're eating if you're 45 and you're eating a little lunch bag that's kind of you know i'm talking about it's a tough look you got a bag of teddy grams somewhere it's a big chip too so you really gotta widen up for you know you're on a phone call you gotta hit mute and then it is but you know i'll go a bag of cheetos every once in a while that's crazy to me really i mean i i'm just saying cheetos is a sneak hitter dude they loved him as a kid loved hot cheetos as a kid didn't eat them for like a decade then had some with a sandwich recently i was like so good this might be the best thing that's ever been invented this chester guy's on to something he is you know what turned me back on to cheetos when i saw w with uh uh josh brolin when he played uh uh george w bush that's what he had he had a dr pepper a sandwich and he had cheetos the president's eating cheetos that was a takeaway from the movie that whole movie yeah all right these are presidential try some of these things uh well we were talking about hot fries too very recently which they didn't i mean they i have to be enjoyed outside i don't know what that is you gotta eat hot fries outside i don't think you're wrong i think if you touch them i don't trash interesting i'm surprised i mean it's not classy no i don't eat them let's be honest they're whacked who had that guy was a creep we had to fucking i know he was all smoked up i don't hate him i don't but we had a vending machine in high school that sold them for a dollar and we'd be eating them at eight in the morning yeah in the morning arizona iced tea and hot fries i mean two dollars deep and you're just geeked in the first period you're snoozing dude oh yeah i mean just a crazy diet that's crazy i did i it took me so long i was so fat and was chugging water the iced teas uh those arizona iced teas every morning eating duncan donuts and one of those in my car every morning and not realizing why i was so fat i'm like it's iced tea and a bagel no i was doing a breakfast sandwich with the little hash browns great you like those hash browns it doesn't great i just had some recently they're so good you know you know it's another sleeper for you kids out there the hash browns and burger king in the morning are fire ah i haven't been to a bk lounge in a minute a bk gets busy after 11 i know the doorman they get there uh there is one kind of near where i live and they they got a big flex they got a that's a sign of a good neighborhood yeah there you go that char ain't bad you gotta go back it's in but you don't really fuck me up mentally is when you realize all grill marks on chicken and fast food is like painted on it's fake it's literally a henna tattoo and we're over here pretending like it's fresh off the grill but burger king's got a little char flavor to it and i'm like is that like a spray is that is that real char broil all right that's flame broil smell that i like that smell that probably from your house you can smell that it's good yeah it's got a nice smell it's got a nice smell it's got a nice linger we were talking about this with tim dillon we have to bring burger king back for the for the country to heal yeah what was their last big hit chicken fries i that was you guys but but they oh They changed them again. When they first hit as like an exclusive menu item, limited time only. Well, they took them away and then they brought them back. But it wasn't the same. They were crispy. It was not the same. It was like a mozzarella. It was good. They've fallen off. Kev, let's talk about Shopify. Shopify. Now, we've talked about Shopify a lot here over at Are You Garbage? We're obviously a Shopify family. Cha-ching. 100%. Shopify has made our business easier. Yes. And if you're starting a new business, which is incredibly hard. Don't think. You have a lot of things going on. Not to mention just the courage to do it. Is it going to work out? Is it going to be this? Is it going to be that? Am I going to surround myself with the right tools to build the business? Well, here's an easy fix for you. Shopify is the right tool to help build your business. Yeah. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. of A. from household names like Are You Garbage? The brand's just getting started out. Get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. If you ever purchased anything from Are You Garbage? It's been through a Shopify website. I didn't even know what Shopify was. I started talking to the web guy. He goes, you're just in a Shopify website. He goes, you can do it in two seconds. Bing, bang, boom, beep, boop, bop. Obviously, I'm speaking hyperbole. Took a little longer, but boop, boop, boop. Easy peasy. We can do it. You can do it, dog. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert. With world-class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. A one-stop shop, dog. It's time to turn those what-ifs into cha-ching with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash garbage. Go to shopify.com slash garbage. One more time, that's shopify.com slash garbage. Do it. Do it. Endless summer escapes start here. Travel the worlds of Netflix IRL. Inspired by fan favorites like Stranger Things and Squid Game. Brave the Upside Down. Face off with the front man. Play leveled-up arcade games. Shop exclusive merch. And enjoy themed food and drinks. Beat the heat. Play, eat, and shop on repeat at Netflix House at Galleria Dallas. Bring your crew and save. Get your tickets today at netflix.com slash house. I want to know, are you still in the same spot? What's going on? Where was that last time we talked? House? Some flop house. I forget, to be honest with you. Have you moved recently? No, haven't moved, haven't moved. Did you buy anything? I got a real dirtbag move you guys might like. Hit me, please. Got rid of the Tesla, right? Had a Model 3, you know? Okay. And I go, okay, you know, it just wasn't, whatever. Lease was coming up to an end. I go, I want something, and I want something nice right here. Okay, can we, can we, can we, okay. Yeah, go ahead. No, I was going to say, can we guess a little bit? Yeah. Let's think of it. I'm going to write it down because I think I know where Kevin's at. This is, I don't even, you guys will love this. Hmm. Hmm. This is the dirtiest of dirt. Go ahead. Okay. Is it a luxury? It's a luxury car. It's a luxury model. Would it be in the SUV category? It's not. Whoa. I was going to say G-Wagon. Me too. No, I can't do that. G-Wagon, I'm tired. Bombing at the laugh factor and hopping in a G-Wagon. All the TV screens are playing in the headrest. God, yeah. I just tried to high five you, by the way. Oh, sorry. We can edit that in. Get the high five in. Huh, okay. Cadillac. Mm-mm. No. Ferrari. No, no, no. No, no, no. I did. Could you, though, if you wanted to? A Ferrari? Yeah. Yeah. Probably a lease one. I mean, I don't know. Can you lease them? I could, but I wouldn't be comfortable money-wise. But yeah. I would be stressing. But could. Very good. I'll give you a clue. I stayed in the EV realm, the electric. Oh, Rivian. Rivian. Rivian. Rivian, no. Those are nice, though. Cybertruck? No. God, no. God, no. God, no. One of those new Broncos? No. A Wrangler? Those are good. A Prius? No, no, no, no, no. Huh. Razor scooter? Lime. Lime scooter. I got to charge it up. I got a hopped-up city bike. Huh. I don't know. What is it? Are we going to know this? It's a German car. BMW? No, no, no. Mercedes? No. Well, that's all a German car. A Volkswagen? I hope they're German. Maybe. Ford? What is it? A deep cut? Porsche. What? What? That's Italian. Is it? I don't know. Is it German? Porsche. Really? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Because when I said it was German, a split second after, I was like, is it German? Dude, I do that stuff all the time where you're like, wait. Oh, yeah. So I got a Taycan, which is the electric one. Taycan? That's a whack-ass name. What? A Taycan? Wait, how do you spell that? T-A-Y-C-A-N. Oh, like the- It's spelled Taycon. Taycon. It's one of those dual tomato-tomato-taycon. Cross Turismo or Turbo S? No, no, no. Just standard. Oh, okay. It's a sexy car. But this is where it gets very- Very nice. This is where it gets very RU garbage-y. Okay. It's used, and I got a lease on it. Ouch. Because here's the life hack. These electric vehicles, once they're used, their resale is shit. Because everybody goes, well, I don't want to buy this thing, because in two years, the range is going to be better. Sure. Because it's still so new. It's like an iPhone. Yeah, because it's still so new in the process that they're only going to get better. So this car- This car already was cheap as shit because it was used, and then on top of that, they go, well, you can lease it. And then on top of that, the guy working there ended up being like a homie, like a fan. So, I mean, I'm paying like Tesla prices for this car, but- I just got to plug Tri-County Porsche. Shout out Gary. Shout out Woodland Hills Porsche. But, yeah, so it was like a $115,000 car, but- It's new, right? Brand new. Yeah. But the resale, I think, cut to like 60 or something. Yeah, I'm looking at one now. The 66. The life hack. 2023, 66. You know, and if you can't- I don't think they ever really do leases on used cars, which was mind-blowing to me. That's how shitty the EV market is. We just want this off the lot. Yeah, you got to move product. It may or may not have been in the fires, so- Yes, exactly. So- No shit. So I'm paying- You got a Porsche for 60 grand. That's like what a fucking Jeep goes for. Yeah, but I'm- Yeah, exactly. So I'm leasing it for- Damn. It's like a two-year lease. So I'll probably end up going back to something more practical like a Tesla or whatever. Does it feel cool, dry? Do you feel cool? It feels great. If you feel accomplished. But the funny part is it looks like it's some crazy expensive car. So I pull into the comedy store, and all the door guys there, all the other comedians are like, Jesus Christ, man, how much money are you making on the road? I'm like, it's used. It's used. It's a lease. It's a lease. I'm only paying $100 more than it was for my Tesla 3. Yeah, you got the fucking bill to sail out. You almost feel bad. No, I get that. Because you're like- You're throwing up crumpled 20s at them. Get out of here. I get that, because I did that. I had a Kia, and then it got stolen. The Kia boys got me. It's the first new car I ever owned. They fucking got me. Is it really that easy to hotwire? It's crazy. You can hotwire with a USB or something, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine just is a screwdriver. The certain ones would just- Yeah, it's a USB, or they pop the ignition out with a screwdriver, and then literally just the screwdriver just turns. It's like turning a screw. You're lying. I swear to God. It's that easy? I had to start it to get it from after I- We found it. I had to start it myself with a pair of pliers. Wow. It literally takes a second. It was wild. Jesus. But I then got a used, not certified, pre-owned. I got a used- I went to Carvana, where you don't get to see it. You just roll the dice with it, and they drop it off. It's a real tacky- You door dashed the car, huh? Dude, they drop it off in a huge Carvana fucking truck, and there's sirens, and it's like- That is so trashy. Dude, and they drop it off in front of- Bottle service. I know. Sparkers are going off. They dropped it off in front of my building. It was very, very- Very embarrassing. What'd you get, though? I got a used Mercedes GLB to the lowest SUV you can get. What mixers package did you get? Cranberry juice? Grapefruit juice? I did suit it. We're doing- I'm a big used car guy. Well, this was my thought, so it's like- Dude, it was- I think- Because he got a new Jeep around the same time, and it was like the same- It's the same payment. I got it like- It's like two and a half maybe years old. Someone leased it for two years or something, and I took it. It's like, I'm only going to fuck it up. I've never had a nice car. I'm cool with this. It was great. I almost didn't like leasing a new car, because it's too new. It's like new shoes. You're like, I can maybe wear these today? It didn't feel comfortable. I don't need something that nice. No, not at all, especially parking in Los Angeles and driving around the city. I didn't know you could lease a used car, so the payment is- I've never heard that. Yeah. I think they're really trying to get them off the lot, because I went to an Audi dealership to look at some of their electronic cars. I was like, can I lease this used one? He's like, what the hell are you talking about, kid? I was like- Oh, this Porsche is trying to get rid of them. They're like, because the resell is just such shit. What are you talking about, kid? I mean, it's usually like half the price of all these EVs, about half. It's like, there was a Porsche I was looking at, and it was literally a quarter of a million dollars, and I go, what is this going for now? He's like, it's like 100K. I'm like, that's such a good deal, but that should be a huge red flag that it's half the price. Wait, that car was- No, a separate one. Another one. There was one I looked at, and it was like- 250 grand? It was fully decked out. It was like the Turbo S or whatever. Every package possible. It was like a rocket. It was unreal. And then it ended up selling, but it was 215, and I think it was going for 112. Now, let me ask you this. Shoot us straight. You go in there. Guy's like, this is 250. Do you go, what the fuck? Or do you go, okay. And take it for a test drive. I do the same thing I do at a mall. I look at it and go, oh, yeah. Let me talk to my girlfriend. Let me run it past the lady. You always, you blame it on somebody else. Is that your move? Let me talk to my girlfriend, see what she wants to do. I like that. I divert to anybody and everybody. Okay, yeah, well, I got another appointment today looking at some other ones, so I'll come back. I have another appointment looking at some other ones. I got a lot of business to conduct today, so I don't know if I can pencil you in. But inside. I'm a silent response. Inside, I go, what the fuck? Yeah, I do that, too. I don't wear luxury clothes or any of that shit because, you know, you look at this sticker and there's a T-shirt at Louis or something that's like $700. Just so I can get Sweet Baby Ray's on it an hour later? For me, I can't do luxury clothes. With all flats? Yeah, right here. That's funny, man. I've gone into, and it's so funny because my wife doesn't even want it, but, like, I'm such a just an idiot and, like, bad with money that I'm like, oh, she'll want an expensive purse. It's Christmas. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not good at giving gifts. This is what you see in, you know, a movie. This is what I'll do. Right. And I went in, and I didn't even buy her that expensive. I bought her, like, you know, but, like, I was in there, and I was a little drunk. You were in a wet bathing suit. I was in there in a wet bathing suit. I was a little boozed up in a wet bathing suit. I was leaving the beach. Oh, really? Where was this? It was in Hawaii. In Hawaii. Okay. But that's a place where you can get a write-off. They're taxed a little cheaper. Yes. So mentally, you're like, this is a good deal. Yeah. I got to buy it here versus New York. Uh-huh. I'm so good at jazzing myself up like that. Yeah. That's so trashy. They just knew I didn't want it. I bought it in Puerto Rico. Yeah. It was very just so out. And I'm like, oh, you, like, turn a thing. I, like, looked at one. I'm like, ah, 700 bucks. Eh, not bad at Christmas. Pretty good year. I'm like, take care of this, bro. And then, like, the one next to that's, like, 17,000. You're like, all right, I think I've seen everything I need to see today. Yeah. I rushed my case here on it. I don't know if I told this story on here. It feels like a great story to tell on here based on that. And I'm sorry if I said it before, but I was dating a girl for, like, three years. And I ended up buying her a purse. This was, like, early 20s. And it was, like, way, way out of my comfort zone. And I just was, like, to your point, I was like, let me just. Let me do it. You think that's what you're supposed to do. You know, I just. I fought it for so long. And then to you, I go, whatever. I can do this show, this. But, you know, like, it'll all come back whenever. We'll get you back. Like, you're a rapper. Right. Is this a four-digit number or a five-digit number? Four. Okay. But I was, like, 25, maybe. Like, I was just starting to get some traction in comedy. And, I mean, the crazy part is we were a year into dating. This is crazy. And it was kind of like, it wasn't my idea. It was kind of like, wow, Christmas is coming up. Wouldn't it be crazy if this was the. You know, it was, like, very, like. They're trying to get a lease on a used one in there. Like, we got this on Timu. So, I go. Bunch of squirrels in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just said, whatever. Fuck. Okay, fine, fine. Like, it was kind of just, if I do this, everybody will be happy. Because in my head, I'm logical. I'm like, well, you've said this past month you need a new blow dryer. You need this. You're tired of your keys getting locked. Like, there's just so many things that I think would be like, these are the logical gifts. But this was just, like, the one thing she really wanted. I'm like, whatever. Fine. Fuck it. I go to pay with her next to me. Because she picked it out when she was with me. Card decryption. Clines. I'm on the phone with Chase Bank. Like, yes, I made this purchase. It's still. They go, you can try again. I try again. Doesn't work. She goes, you can just put it on my card. And I'm like, yeah, but then you get the points. Yeah, she ended up paying for it. And I had to, like, literally. That's a tough look, dude. I think the Venmo payment was capped out or something. You had to do, like, three payments. I had to have my business manager be like, hey, wire my girlfriend at the time 5K. Babe, what's your routing number? That's a tough look. You know, it just took all the love at the time out of it. It took any care. And, like, no girl wants to deal with that. It takes you doing it. Yes. All of it's gone. A girl wants to wake up. It's under the tree. There it is. Nobody wants to see a guy be like, yeah, Trevor Wallace, December 30th, 1992. I authorized these charges. Yes, exactly. So that was, man, that was tough. That was brutal. I had a buddy. We moved. I moved to New York. It was my first day here. He took me out. He lived here. He's like, you know, I'll go out. We'll get drinks. So it's me. It's, like, three or four of us. He orders drinks. And this bartender was the hottest woman I've ever seen in my life. Like, literally the hottest woman I've ever seen in my life. And I'm like, New York is the greatest city in the world. This is crazy. And he's, like, out of a movie. I'm like, this is so cool. And he orders a round of drinks, slides over his card. It gets declined. And it comes back. And she's like, this is what it was declined. He's like, get on, man. It happens all the time. Like, run this one. And she comes back. She's like, that was also declined. And we're like, dude, what the fuck? And he goes, I knew the second one wasn't going to work. But I had to go down swinging. He's like, I had, like, maybe for some reason it did go through. And I saved face. Before I pick up a shift, I got to at least try the Citibank card. He's like, it wasn't going to. I got denied the first time. She's not interested. Yeah, it still has a sticker on it. It's called Activate. It's a gift card. With a purse, you can't go back to the apartment and try to make a move after that either. Oh, man. You know, I'm trying to think how the day played out. It was not great if I had to guess. No, no. And that, to me, like, that was a crazy purchase overall. I mean, like, that was like 5K in a year of dating. Yeah, I mean, my wife got a $700 purse. We've been married fucking seven years. I think I was just younger, and I think I was just like. Young and dumb, yeah. Yeah, young and dumb. And I also was like, this will satisfy that. You know, I felt like I was almost like, and this is not a great way to put it at all, but I felt like I was, like, feeding the meter. I'm like, this will get me to. This will buy me six months of, like, Trevor's not a bad guy. Trevor's a good boyfriend. You know, there's. Okay. Sure, of course. Yeah, he's pushing the ball down for, like, okay, he's a good boyfriend. He's interesting. He's committed this much. He's done this. He cares. In the worst way possible. I was like, this will make everybody happy. This will solve this problem right now. Yes, this will solve this problem right now instead of, like, the logical things that I was like, oh, well, like, what about something homemade or something that's, like, from the heart? And then I just was like, the card declined. I'm sweating. That sucks. How much longer did you guys make it after? I don't know. How long did it take to that? Two years. We did it for three years. Okay. And she's a great woman, but I think at that time I was just so, like. That's what you say after a divorce. She's a great woman. It's just at that time I was not ready. We're still real good friends. But, you know, it's like this was my first, like, serious girlfriend, and I had only, like, maybe got, like, gifts for somebody I was, like, starting to see or relatives. Yeah, you were never that pot committed to be like, okay, now I got to get you a grown-up gift. Absolutely. And I was like, like, in my head I was like, anything over 250 is an insane gift. Insanely expensive gift. Like, if somebody gave me a $250 gift card, I'm like, what do I owe you? Drop the trousers, you know? So, five grand to me was just like, you know, I'm doing math in my head. I'm like, dude, that's like, I think my apartment at the time was like two grand a month. I'm like, dude, that's like fucking two months. Yeah, it's crazy. And, you know, you start running these numbers in your head, but then you're comparing, I guess, love versus, like, a dollar amount, and then you're putting a number on it, and I wasn't happy that day. It was not a good day. Dude, you're saying, I can see you're reliving that day. Oh, my God. A lot of math going on. Oh, my God. I remember even telling that to a therapist years later. He goes, 5K for a year of dating is crazy. You're talking about therapy? Yes. He's still talking about it. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, literally. This was probably four to five years ago. I don't know what my wife would have to, my wife just had a kid, and I don't know what she would have to do to get a $5,000 gift. Yeah. The therapist makes you pay cash moving forward after that. You got to get me on that. Yeah, it was, you live and you learn. My parents, when I was a kid, if something like that ever did come up. Like, the year we got a Sager or something like that. This is your Christmas present and your birthday present. Right. Always combine them. That was big. Yeah, I'm a December 30th baby, so I get thrown in everything. That sucks. I get everything. So, it's like, here's your holiday. Here's your birthday. Don't talk to me for a year. Would you get fucked? Would it be? Or would it be over, were they overcompensating? Like, here's a great week. You know, so I was raised Jewish, so we would do Hanukkah, and sometimes it would just. They give you 10 nights at least? You're going to have a bonus two nights? Hanukkah's not a big money maker, right? For you guys, as far as the presents. No, it's kind of, I think about it, it's like a restaurant. There's like one big meal and a bunch of appetizers and a dessert. So, it's like, you know, you might get some real big night one, but night two. Like, one year, this is great. One year, I got to roll it. One night out of the eight nights, I got to roll tape for my dad. He goes, well, you love tape. Like, how did you wrap the gift with my own gift? You piece of shit. You love tape? Scotch tape. Did you love tape that much? I mean, I love tape, but like. Wait, what do you mean you love tape? I think you should be talking about that in therapy. He's like, I love tape just as much as the next kid loves tape. What, making the fingernails and stuff? I don't even know. I couldn't tell you. I was just a crafty kid. I would just like make shit. Make it, tape it up. I'd lick the glue a little bit, try to get fired up. Reverse whip it or something. Try to get a buzz going. Yeah, but I think that that was probably, you know, they had six out of the eight gifts, six nights, and then they're like, fuck it, what do we, what is this kid like? Give him tape. Give him one of the batteries. It was a crispy roll of tape, I will say, but like, you know, it's funny because you're ordering, you don't know what you're opening each night, so it's like, I open that, and my sister gets a Claire's gift card for a hundred bucks. I'm like, tape? Dude, if I got tape. Tape was pretty, pretty garbage. That's wild. But it makes for a good, it's like, I remember that gift over anything else I got that year. Sure. Sure. Tape. Yeah, it's a traumatic memory. Of course you're going to hang on to that. I think I'll try to hang myself with it later. What was the biggest. It was double-sided. What was the biggest present you ever got as a kid? Do you remember that? Oh, that's a good question. Like a PS something, or? I wasn't a big video game family, I wish. I got a hand-me-down Xbox growing up. That was tough. Damn. Not even 360, just the regular Xbox. There's a Porto in it. There was San Andreas by Grand Theft Auto, which was pretty beast. Best, biggest gift I got. I got a, one year my dad got me some dumbbells, and that was pretty cool. No shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was pretty cool. I learned how to defend yourself. I was 13 and it was like from Big Five and you could like spin sides off and put more weights on it. That's not bad. That's a good gift. He's playing with all the tape. He's probably taking a heat at school. He's got another fight. Yeah, I think he had a drum set one year. That's all right. Was it like a real drum set or more like a toy? It was pretty solid. My dad was a drummer growing up, so he was in the now. I think it was also a little bit of a gift for him to be like, these are DWs, kid. These are good. Shout out to DW. That's the one brand I know. That was probably one of the biggest gifts, I think. That's not bad. I want to hit you with a couple of the newer questions that we have, so please spend a minute. Are you in an apartment or you got the house? Got the house. You got the house. You own this house? I do. You do? Okay. What's the. Leasing it. 35-year lease. It's all EV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there any cereal in the home? Boxes of cereal? No, I don't believe so. Are you kidding me? No. You don't have any cereal at your house? I love cereal, though. Yeah, people aren't banging cereal like that, like the life you're living. Look, you got cereal at the house? No. With these tariffs? Goddamn cereal import tax. I was going to ask you, is the cereal on top of the fridge? But I guess it ain't. The fridge is like, it's in some wooden panel, so it's like hidden. Oh, is it? You got a couple of box. Okay. Not a big. Not big. Well, well, well. Mr. Pre-owned Porsche. Look at you. Is there a pool at this house? I'm sweating. Did you have this house when we were here last? I think so, because I think I remember talking that, like, the backyard has, like, it's like a pool koozie. Oh, I don't remember. I remember that. It's, like, the size of maybe two of these tables. They call that, like, a lap pool, kind of. Oh, dude, you couldn't. A what? A plunge? No. It's essentially the size of, like, two cold plunges. Yeah. It's, like, in the summer, if you don't heat it or you don't touch it, it feels like a pool, but it is a jacuzzi, mainly. How often are you in that? Never. Once every three months. Yeah. Do you even have a pool guy for something like that or not? You do, funny enough. He comes over with the rake. He does two scoops, gets three leaves out. He's like, you call this a pool? Throws, like, a little Tide Pod in there, and we're good to go. Yeah, it's pretty funny. That's one of his stops. Beat the Heat. This Labor Day at Lowe's. Get up to 45% off select major appliances. Plus, deals on select materials and tools to keep the job moving. Right now, get a free DeWalt 20-volt max battery 2-pack. When you buy a select DeWalt 20-volt max tool. At Lowe's, we have what you need to keep your job moving. Battle through 9-13. All supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. Uh-huh. Okay. Hmm. You gonna decorate the house for Christmas? Get cute with it? Uh. I guess you're Jewish. Yeah. But I do like some holiday cheer. There you go. I got some home good stuff from last year I can throw up on the mantle. Do you throw a menorah up and do the lights? I got a menorah somewhere. My parents live like 40 minutes from me, so I usually. They decorate and I'll go to their house for that. Get your holiday cheer in there. Yeah. How do you feel about the bread and butter pickle? Uh. Uh. Comma? Was there a comma after bread and butter? No, bread and butter. What is. Like a physical. Like a pickle? It's a kind of pickle. You've missed on this question quite a few times. You got no cereal? You got no bread and butter pickles? What the fuck are you guys doing out there? What am I gonna eat if I come over? Are you saying, like, how do you. Is. Do you like bread and butter pickles? You don't know bread and butter pickles? You keep saying it. I mean, you. Is it bread with butter and then a pickle? No. Or like a pizza flavor? It's called a bread and butter pickle. What is this? You're Jewish. This is nuts. This ain't on me. No, I don't. You never had those? A type of sweet and tangy pickle made with a vinegar-based brine that includes a significant amount of sugar and a specific blend of spices. Nah, I'm not familiar with this. I like a dill. Just a straight-up dill. He's a dill man. I like dill. Not one of your new-age weirdos. I don't like those sweet pickles or any of that. What's that one called? Bread and butter! Is that it? I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan. Not welcome in my home. Yeah, I'm a kosher Spears guy. Could've yes-handed me on that, Wallace. I didn't know what you were talking about. Is this a term everybody should know? Bread and butter pickles? I think so. I didn't hear it until he started asking it. That's. Yeah, but you were a weird kid. Okay. I think I've heard of a butter pickle or something. It's like a sweeter. I'm gonna fucking lose it. That's bread and butter. Luke, back me up! B&G! I got you, dog. I get B&G pickles. A little sweeter. I don't need this bullshit. Not my favorite. Have you ever posed for a picture with a cigar? Oh, of course. It's like college didn't exist. Was there anything better than that? I literally have a photo that I just saw in Snapchat memories recently. It's me in the Vegas strip smoking a cigar with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. And I don't remember paying them, so I was 22. I was wearing fraternity letters on, smoking a heater in front of Mickey and Minnie. They were probably also smoking it, if we're being honest. It's a Vegas strip. Sure. Do you put your hand on a wall when you're at the urinal? Or are you like a no-touch-and-anything kind of guy when you're there? I have before if it's like if it felt like I was overfilled. Okay, yeah, if you were really letting go. Yeah. I'm not at that age yet. Do you have an automatic pepper grinder at the house? No. That's crazy. My pepper grinder's actually broken and it seldomly twists it, and then it all falls out. It's the worst. I never knew how to use them when I was a kid. That might as well have been fucking ancient technology. It's like the kitchen's nice, but my appliance is crazy. The amount of times I've flipped scrambled eggs with a spoon is unheard of. That's wild. You know, where am I? You're ruining that pain. Are you cooking? Absolutely. You're eating all that Teflon. Yeah, I cook a lot of breakfast. The rest of the day is kind of miscellaneous. Okay. Are you at the house most of the day? Yeah. When you're not on tour? Yeah, yeah. I work from home. You're working from home. I'm doing a lot of that. So what are you doing? Getting an Uber Eats? Uber Eats or, yeah. Yeah, because I got a few people that come over. You got a crew. So yeah, it's like, I always feel like an asshole if I'm like, I'm going to go upstairs and cook, and then they're all just starving, snacking on Slim Jims and a couple chomps. You straighten everybody out for lunch? By me? Yeah. Try to keep them happy. Good guy. What kind of luggage are you rocking with? Away bag. Okay. Not bad. I'm not one of those Ramona insane people. Are you a Ramona guy? I don't even know what that is. What's an away bag? Oh my God. Away is like kind of what you have. It's just one of those hard shawls. It's a brand. Away bag. Away. You know that? It's nuts. What are you saying? Aroma? Aroma? Ramoa. Have you heard of this? Yeah, my girl's got one. Oh, it's insane. It's like a $2,000 suitcase, and it's silver. You've probably seen them at airports. Lifetime warranty. Everything. So it's $2,000, but you can't fit shit in it. Whoa, it's kind of, that's, I mean. Is it one of the motorized ones that you can ride? No. Those are cool. You got a manual of this bitch. Oh, wow. Okay. Look at that. So you've probably seen those at the airports. That's like 007 type shit. But it's one of those things that if you don't know what it is, you're just like, oh, it's a normal suitcase. Yeah, I just, I never assumed they were like expense. I never assumed that was anything. Dude, they got a phone case on there. It's $180, $190 for a Ramoa, and it's not even mag safe. What are we doing? What are we doing here? I can't charge this bitch. The wheels stink. On the bags? Yeah, because I always got to carry my girls, and it's like. The wheels stink? Yeah. Like smell, or they're just not good? No, they're just not good at the mobility. I was like, who do you do with your nose down there? Freako? You got to put it up there, and you go, that's a man with a closeted foot fetish, if you ask me. I went to buy a suitcase at TJ Maxx, and we opened it up to look in it, and it smelled like fish on the inside, like it was used. So I paid extra. You got any pickles laying around back there? We were put on to, I didn't do it, but someone on the team went out, a Briggs and Riley. Yes. Oh, what are we cooking with here? Ali Sadiq put us onto these. Lifetime warranty, apparently very good. $729 for the 22-inch carrier. That's too expensive to me. To me, it's like, what you get for a, whatever, what's a Samson I call it? $199 or whatever, you know what I mean? It's like, you're not going to give me $500 of value in a fucking suitcase. Where I always mess up is I buy the cheaper version, and then try it for a little bit, and then it's shit, and then I end up buying the expensive one. I know. So I end up losing money in the end, because I could have just got the expensive one from the get-go. I go middle of the road with that kind of, give me something to last two, three years, as much as we travel. Yeah. I'll get, I'll spend $200 in two or three years. But I had one, I just got like one of these like dupes from the AwayBagger, or any of these on Amazon, like a wheel like shattered off. Stink. I'm lugging around, selling out a show with three wheels. It's old. Well, it also is one of those things where it's like, you don't think about it until you're using it. You're like, well, I'm already at the fucking airport. Then you're one of the guys buying luggage at the airport, like a goddamn terrorist. I've always been to get the cheaper one, and it sucks. Your whole life is, you've never made the right decision. He makes fun of me. It's crazy. I buy shoes and sneakers sometimes at clothing stores. He'll go to an H&M and be like, let me get the pair of shoes. I'm like, they're $12. Not H&M. They're half rubber. - You have these at a 12, they're like, "We have every size, nobody's buying these." We got halves. We got quarter sizes. We make them in the back. It's a mold. I also always get sucked into buying a pair of sunglasses at a clothing store. You know how they have them up until half a month as an impulse? Of course. Yeah, I think they look cool. And cologne. I bought cologne from the big and tall store. Tastes like bacon. You're spraying it down with Pam on there? Will you listen to the radio in the shower, or do you have a radio in the shower? Or a music device in the shower? Not really. I like the shower. I like to get some good shower thoughts. I like quiet, actually. Not too bad. But every once in a while, I'll bring a Bluetooth in there like I'm back in college. I'm just never in there long. I put it on, I get like a half a song. I'm like, hey, I'm just standing in here instead of listening to music. I've started to with my new routine. I bring the Alexa in there, and I get that going. I floss, I take my time, do my little routine, do my toner, moisturizer, all that shit. The guys that bring on the road with me, both openers they use, they play off the iPhone. iPhone shower. You can't even hear it. It doesn't work. It's louder for us than it is for them. Yeah. I agree with that. Those speakers, they've gotten better, but they used to be so bad. You used to have to put it in a glass to get the echo. Yeah. I once had an Uber driver driving with a phone and a cup playing the music. That's crazy, dude. That's wild. Yeah, let me get that all. It was probably a Lyft the more I think about it. How do you feel about chips on a sandwich? I like it, but homemade. It's like if a restaurant tried to do it, I'd be like, yeah, you can't. You can't infringe on this. Do you know? I appreciate that. They'll do that in a New York City bodega. Yeah. You'll go, hey, let me get the fucking chopped cheese and hand them a bag of. Oh, yes. And they'll do that. I didn't. I didn't realize until later on in my New York City tenure that they would do that for you. But I do have a couple of patron questions to get to. Guys, as you know, when you do the old patron, it will get to your garbage question. This one's from Lance. Fourteen dollar Canadian dirt bag here. Is it garbage to go to a bowling alley in a walking boot when you have a broken leg? Broken foot. Oof. You can't get a shoe on that. You'll be slipping all over. Put some grip tape on the bottom. I'm a big proponent of any kind of obscure medical device. If you're in one of them, you got to live a bit of a more limited life. You don't get to go bowling till after it comes off. Is that a fair assessment? If you're on the injured list, you're on the injured list. What are you doing? You know, I go hang out, be a glue guy, hang out, have some fun. Yeah. I'll keep score or whatever. They also got that contraption for kids where it's like just like the roll cage. You see that? Just give him that. That's not bad. He can bowl from his seat back there. Or you have a friend be like, oh, I'll bowl for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm with that. But you don't want two broken legs living out of that bitch. That's even worse. Those things are slippery. I'm bad in those bowling shoes. They're giving more and more people those boots. Boots are everywhere. You see the boots or them scooters. The scooter boot combo is crazy. That's true. Back in the day. Back in the day, you saw someone on the scooter. They survived the war. Now it's like you turn your ankle and they're giving them to you. Just stay home, man. I don't even like asking what happened. Because if they say it's not broken, I'm immediately like, that's stolen valor. You're a pussy. I know. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, well, I tore a ligament in my left toe. Shut the fuck up. They put the. I would tell a doctor, just give me a. I'd rather a cane than walking, zooming, zipping up on this thing. The scooter's tough. It's such a bad look. Were you ever on crutches as a kid? No. Yeah. I was. I wanted to be, though. Yeah. It was called tension. Dude. It was attention. Guys that could pull it off and do it good, they look good. I couldn't use them. The football players are really good at it. Yes. You could get a good lean. Yeah, because. Well, they would position it where the tripod. Yes. Where the tripod, Jesus Christ, I'm an influencer. Talk about a creator brain. Yeah. The triceps are kind of cranking out where they got the jersey and there's a cut up here. I mean, you're injured on game day, still rocking the jersey. Got the jacket on or something. Yeah, that's a modern day coming home from war for any chick in your sophomore class right now. Yeah. Sure, for sure. I could never. Do them good like that, though. I always look like a fucking idiot. I didn't know how to get the rhythm in them. In the crutches? On the crutches, yeah. You'd be a fucking. One of the wheelie guys for sure, dude. Dude, that reminds me. I once saw a guy down the shore in Kenan's Irish Pub wearing a neck brace at the bar. And I was like, dude, go home. You don't belong here, dude. You don't belong here. It's a startling thing to see. And then you go like, what the fuck? I would rather you have the dog cone on your head than a neck brace. It's just. There's a guy in front row in Jacksonville, if that says anything about the type. One of my favorite shows ever, but the guy in the front row with a neck brace. He's probably the mayor, dude. It's just so startling. It's a lot because. It's a little off-putting as well, if we're going to be honest. Yeah. And the newer ones that have the plastic that looks like. Yeah. It looks like the base of Darth Vader's. Yeah, put a turtleneck on and shut off. Cover that thing up. Yeah, just get a turtleneck and put some metal underneath it so we don't have to see it. Oh, damn, dude. Oh, that's great. Oh, that's great. All right, listen. This one's great. It's from Mid-Atlantic Dirtbag. $10 boner here. Is it garbage if you use ChatGPT to look up discount codes? Ooh. Does that work? Yeah. It's got to. Right? It's got to. Give me the most benefit. If that's what you ask, give me the biggest discount code. Brains are going to be getting fucking slammed left and right. Yeah. Is there anything you use ChatGPT for? My ChatGPT is. I think the longer you have it, the worse the shit you use it for. Sure. I don't disagree with that. When I first got it, I was like, help me make a diet base with iron-efficient stuff. Now I'm like, why is it called a sperm whale? Like, it's never. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just turns into Google. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I've never used it for anything beneficial at all. I wouldn't know how to get on it. I honestly wouldn't. It's not the Matrix. It's a website? Website and app, yeah. You got to pay for it? No. I mean, you can. It's all free, but you can get it for free. You can get, like, an upgraded version, which I don't know what that does. Come out. Can it do pictures? Is that what it does? It doesn't make people. You can do both. Yeah. You can do both. But I could be like, where's the best bread and butter pickle in New York? And it would say, here you go. Be in the know. Do that. Best bread and butter pickle in the world. What was that? But there used to be so many websites that could do that. I forget what it was called. There was an app that did, but there was no such website. There was, like, Honey was one. There was, like, some browse. They sponsored pods for a while. And, like, it did work, but you would always have to, like, download it as, like, a plug-in. Yeah. There was, like, a website that everybody used to use back in the day. Like, the same way we would watch movies in college, there was a website. There was, like, a website that everybody would use. Like, you would get, like, hidden codes or something. Oh, no shit. I can't remember what it was called. That was more for you. Oh, I think I remember what you're talking about. Right? There was a website that did that. Yeah. Yeah, it'd give you the promo codes. Fuck, my computer just died. We have time for one more anyway. Let's do it. Let me just pull it up on my on-me phone. There's something wrong with this computer, too. This was fully charged about an hour ago. Well, that's yours now. Dude, I've been. I just got a laptop. I've destroyed, like, four computers in the past. Nice. Brand new. I never had a laptop in my life. Really? Yeah. It's crazy. He owns a production company. It's crazy. I never had one. And what would you do? How would you. Where? Anything. To get my bread and butter pickles? But you had a PC at home or something? No. Mac at home? Years ago, but I didn't do anything with it. How did you ever use the internet? Your phone? On my phone. It's crazy. It's crazy. Zoom meetings, phone, editing, phone, looking at notes, phone. Well, we do Zoom meetings here. But there's been Zoom meetings where it's like, well, let's just do this from home, and we call in, and he's the only guy on his phone. Is that bad? He's in the wrong shape. Anytime somebody's on a phone in a Zoom meeting, I go, I don't need your opinion. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. But I'm. What do you mean? I'm the creator. When somebody joins, and they're in their car. I'm the goddamn talent. Correct. Talent can do that. But if there's an executive or somebody on there, or they're walking, I go, you couldn't have. You ain't got. You ain't got five minutes. Turn your camera off. Oh, I'm walking around all the time. Yeah. He's in the shower at one time. No. That's why we lost the deal. I'll get up and go from my bedroom to the kitchen to get a coffee or something. You're always on the phone? Never a laptop? Ever? He's never had a laptop. Wow. I guess that's probably crazy to you. Dude, he got a laptop, and I needed to use it the other day, because this is broken. It's over there. I went on, and I went to look on something on YouTube, and it was. I'm not even fucking around. It was blank, because there was nothing to even recommend, because he's never put a word in it. It was completely. It said, what do you enjoy? And there was not one video for you. I've never seen it. Dude, you could probably sell that. That's like a rare, like an untapped algorithm, an unbiased algorithm. Oh, wow. Am I going to have that? Am I kind of starting fresh with this thing? Yeah. What was the first thing you did when you got the laptop open? First of all, to get it open, it took him about 10 tries. They have a weird code. It's like swiping the keys, and my X wasn't working, or my Z. It's my password from fifth grade. Yeah. It's literally just the bottom letters. Yeah. All I've done is open it. MacBook? PC? A MacBook. Okay. I don't know. I'm not an animal. A PC? He's never had. What would you. That's crazy to me. Oh, like in the. Yeah, never. What would you do on flights? Just watch everything on a phone? He's a big phone guy, though. Yeah. I got the movies. He's this. You know he's this. Oh, yeah, I'm that. You know he's going to be in a bad mood if you're. And he's looking like this. He's watching some video. He's watching some videos he shouldn't be watching, and he's getting charged up. I do that at the house now. Instead of sitting down and watching TV, I'll go into the kitchen. If I'm eating something, I'll go into the kitchen where the cutting board is. I'll open the spice drawer. I'll put my phone up eye level, and I'll eat standing up and watch Seinfeld. Come hang out. Drive the car over. I got a spice rack on the way. We can get two popped up pretty soon. Can I get you a bread and butter pizza? I think you'd like them, to be honest with you. All right, let's see. We got time for one more here. This one, this goes back to the etiquette. This is from Paul, $10 investor. If you're at a service counter, deli, coffee shop, wherever, and the person has their back to you, what is the etiquette on getting their attention? Do you say something? If there's a bell, do you ring the bell? Do you try to make some sort of noise, or do you just wait for them to finally notice you? And or what's the time period you wait? See, I hate confrontation. Me too. I'm waiting. You're just going to wait? What if he's right there turned around? But what is he doing? Is he making a sub? Is he on the phone? He's wrapping fish. I don't know. You know, I might fake a phone call. I would make some noise. Hello? Oh, yeah, no, take your time. What are you guys doing? That's pretty good. I'll give you that. I'll do something like that. Man, long day. It's cold outside. Hit him with something like that. Yeah, ringing the bell seems crazy. Just right now that you say that, I'd be scared. I just feel like it puts their body in like a shock. They're traumatized by that bell. Every time they hear it, it correlates to work and needing to work. Yes, and in an urgent manner, not like a chill vibes. If you get there, maybe he's in the back and you don't see anybody. The back is fine. You hit the bell. But first of all, we talk about this with Stabby. Deli guys scared the shit out of me. Yeah. They seem like they'll fucking knock you the fuck out. I always hate when they ask me about metrics metrics. Well, they'll be like, how much do you want of this? I'm like, a quarter pound. I don't know anything about it. What's enough for me? What's enough for a guy like me? Well, what would I want? If you were me, what would you get? I was at a butcher in Dallas one time. What the hell? It's like a country song. You should have seen her. But these guys scare the shit out of me. Oh, yeah, dude. This guy's got a slab of brisket the size of a U.S. map. And I'm like, what does a quarter pound look like? He goes, I don't know, man. A quarter pound? I'm like, how the fuck? Yeah, I don't do this for a living, bud. Like, here's how dumb I am. He could have done anything with his hands and I would have been sold. Yeah. Like, just, it doesn't have to be proportionate. But when a waiter does this. Like, how big is a pizza? It's about this big. I don't fact check it. Yeah. I don't check their work later. Just give me any sort. Give me something. I could have been like, what's a quarter pound of brisket? And he's like, it's about like this thing. I'm like, all right. Yeah. But for him to say, I don't know, it's a quarter pound. I'll do a half. Great. That's a dick move. It is, but I got a half pound after that just to one up him. So maybe it's an upsell tactic. Fuck you. Let me get a half pound then. Give me a half pound of that brand new Porsche over there. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Trevor Wallace, one of the absolute best in the business. Thank you for having me. One of my favorite podcasts to do. Always so much fun. Thank you, bro. Alpha beta male tour. Get your tickets at TrevorWallace.com. Coming to a city near you. This guy's an absolute pro. Kills it on the internet. Buddy, we love you so much. Thank you so much for coming in. Thank you so much. Kippy, what do you got for us? Guys, we're on the road as well. Philly, get those tickets to the Met. The boys are coming home. Tickets available for the Met. RUGarbage.com. Love you. Trevor, we love you. Love you, buddy. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.