Picasso Fiasco | Son of a Boy Dad #450

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And if you like a flavor enough to name your dog after it, the good news is they now make single flavor packs so you can get a whole box at just that pineapple. No malt, good feel every time, good vibes every time you crack one open, enjoy a high noon today and find out more at high noon spirits.com. All right, ready? Yes. All right, you welcome back to the son of a boy dad podcast today. It is Monday, November, second, it's finally November. And we are here live from HQ three. Welcome back. Everybody. How are we? How are we feeling? Mm hmm. Good. How are we feeling on a deeper level? I look, I look forward to this now. What? Our podcast. What do you mean now? Fuck. That's good point. Why did you not look forward to it? I didn't think about it before it was just part of my work. And now it's like, this is my favorite part of my work. What do you like about it? Well, I don't talk to you guys that much outside of the show because we talk so much on the show. So then when we do get to talk, I actually hear about your lives and I enjoy it. I think you guys are really funny. I think you're funny too. But SaaS does gray rock us during the week uses the therapy technique of the gray rock. I don't think so. What's that mean? I don't think so. I don't know what that means. I don't. So how do you not think so? With the gray rock. You're just gray rocking us. You just give us little information and then the show comes and you give us all the information. Yeah, probably. I mean, it's somewhat intentional. Yeah, exactly. I'm not judging you for gray rocking me to death. It's a behavioral strategy where you become as uninteresting and unreactive as a plain gray rock. That's so mean. Okay. You do it too. Moody gray rock over here. Yeah. No, I don't think I go gray rock. You don't gray rock us. Definitely not. Maybe sea glass, you know, something a little bit more, a little bit more pop to it. Sea glass is very interesting. When we do hear from SaaS during the week, it's a string of texts about something unbelievable. It doesn't happen very often, but you will send a whole bunch of messages about something that has happened. Yeah. Usually. Usually make up date. Really cool. A really cool update. Some very interesting update. Like I just learned wind surfing or some shit like that. Yeah. Yeah. It's usually something like that. So just finished yet. Jet skiing through the Hudson. You've got to try that. So fun. I just kayaked all of Central Park. Oh, man, I went fishing in Central Park one time and it was like a humiliation ritual. It was mortifying. I was, I brought my fly rod and I'm like back casting into people having like a picnic. It's like you literally need to go fly fishing. You need to make sure like a hundred yards around you is wide open, let alone in Central Park. I'm just picturing you like alfalfa when he takes Darla in the little robot and sings to her. I don't know what that is. Little rascals? Oh, no. I was never really big into little rascals. That's okay. Um, and I think I understand the little robots in Central Park are kind of like Romantic. Yeah. They're not like you're not getting exercise and no, no, no, and I also was on land, which was worse. Yeah. I was not in a boat. I'm not joking when I said my back cast was like going into people like walking by. You just see a massive neon yellow string flying through the sky. Are you sure that what you did was allowed? Yeah. Talk to you today. Talk does it all the time. Yeah. Carlson. Really? Yeah. In Central Park? In Central Park? No. It's a classic. It's classic. Someone runs down on that. Yeah. And they're like, what are you doing? And he's like, what are you doing? What are we doing? Why are you filming me? He like gets right up in the guy's face. It's kind of a good time. That's kind of cool. I dig it. And that is just us talking about this. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. I had to guess. Oh, looks like it might have been us talking about it last week. Fuck. That's great. Is there not? Can you not get lost in Central Park? I've only really been to like, Oh, you can't. Like, can you be like, get lost in the middle of it? Yeah. Because there are places where you can say P in private or. Yeah. There's also places you can go fishing where it's not as crowded. I went all the way to the top. Maybe. That's a good question, Ron. Is there a place where you can pee in Central Park? And there's no risk of being in trouble for it. I think I think my answer would be yes. Especially up towards the park. People have murdered in Central Park. That's true. But they're always doing that at night. Yeah. But you can definitely find somewhere to piss. That's always happening at night. Murder. Sure. Every episode of SVU starts in Central Park. Yeah. Let's put it this way. If you want to get away with being in Central Park, do it at night around like a woman who's jogging. Yeah. Because then someone's going to kill her. Yeah. And you'll be fine. You'll be fine. I was just pissing. Yeah. You can find the trail of piss. Did you not? Did you not see it? No, of course not. I turned my back. This weekend I was walking. I was in Manhattan for Halloween. And I was walking down the street. And there was a. Like on the sidewalk. It's dark out. Whatever not really thinking. There's a little stream of water. Whatever. Not really thinking much of it. Walk by. Turn to the right. It's just a dude. Just pissing. That I walked through. Nice. So. Did you stop in it? Or did you skip it? I skipped it. I skipped it. But it was pretty disgusting, to be honest. I had some foam. Yeah. A frothy piss. White water pissing. I think it was like a, like a homeless dude pissing. It was a homeless piss. They have frothier. Their tail. Their piss is brown. They have a head smell piss. You can smell it as it's coming out of their body. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a bubble bath. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot. So. Which is nice. It's one of the best things about the city. Not man. Cleanse the sidewalk. If you have graffiti. And then it's just not for me anymore. You were tired from the big island. I'm on the outer burrows these days. Much more peaceful. What were you here for the Halloween parade? What were you doing? I had a show. Oh, yeah. The hot dog costume. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't end up wearing the hot dog. It's so pussy. This was actually pretty funny. So I didn't wear the hot dog. I ended up going as Bill neither signs guy. Easy. Whatever. I love to see you in a bow tie. You could have if you came to the show on Saturday. I would never go to a show. Um, the, the I tried on the hot dog and look, am I like Halloween costumes somehow have gotten worse quality than they were like 20 years ago, which is crazy because they were already the worst quality thing you can buy. You said the same thing about jerseys. I did. But like they're somehow they're worse now, like I'm walking around. I'm seeing people in costumes and I'm like, that looks like shit. It's like it's like it's funny. You say this. Like I was like, for example, I was the hot dog when I was a kid, right? And it was the same thing. It's a full body hot dog. Your face sticks out of the sausage fabric, fabric, but it was, it was like a mascot costume. Like it was like the bun was thick, like a stuffed animal almost the mustard, the string of mustard. Like a thick string of mustard. This year I thought of on the hot dog, it's like, it's like I just threw someone just covered me in a napkin that they drew a hot dog on. The mustard is screen printed on the dog. There's no 3D. There's no mustard jumping out at you. It's thin. It's flimsy. It's got crease marks. Yes, everywhere. It is the thing is most flimsy thing I've ever seen. And it's like, then I'm, so I didn't wear it because I was like, this a it's got, it's literally garbage. I mean, I'm wearing garbage right now. You didn't wear your Halloween costume because it was to the standard you wanted it to be. Well, first of all, absolutely. And second of all, and then I saw people out wearing the costumes wearing like, you know, people are they got the mustard or they're a beer or something like that. But they're higher quality. No, there's was the same quality as mine. And there's looked like shit. Yeah. Like you're like, they got the hotdog. It's blowing in the wind. You can't even see what they do. How much do they bang you for the hotdog? 30 bucks. But it's like, you get what you pay for. They're the mustard and they have the hat and it's the mustard cap. And it's just like bent backwards like that. Like, I get like Halloween costumes are already shitty. This is the shittiest they've ever. Somebody in Cambodia got paid 30 cents to make that. Yeah. Probably. Do you remember when we argued where we didn't argue, but we talked about the the Jersey quality. Oh, yeah. So then Justin messaged to me and he said, what makes you think you know anything about jerseys? You dumbed some self-centered know-it-all piece of shit. Oh, have you bought a jersey at any time recently? Fanatics makes dog shit products. SAS is 1 million percent right. There is no authentic sewn jerseys anymore. You self-righteous dumb fuck. Everything you think you know is probably wrong regarding any subject at all. Stop pretending you know everything. You cry about not having friends. Then talk like a know-it-all rich, preppy piece of shit. And you're nothing but wrong on anything you've ever spoken about. Just shut the fuck up. Turns the podcast off at the seven minute mark because I hate you so much. And I'm sorry I sent you that. That was not my intention. I wrote, hey, dipshit. None of what we say is real. I don't, but I also don't think you were even. Did you even disagree with that? I don't even know. He and then he said, yes, buying sports shirts and jerseys is very, I was like, none of this is important. And he goes, yes, buying sports shirts and jerseys is very important. The Jews are taking over everything and run the world. This guy Michael Rubin shows up out of nowhere and is gifted the monopoly of making all sports gear blah, blah, blah, on and on and on. So that was like, oh my god. You're, you can keep scrolling. Well, that was the first argument. And then he got really mad at me today because you asked me in the last episode about who I thought the like alpha male of the golf tournament was. And I said, I thought Ryan Ruffles. Because I heard Jerry said it was Ryan Ruffles, too, today coming into the tournament. Like he was the guy that everyone deferred to. Like I watched as the other high names like Brad and everyone was kind of like, this guy's the guy to watch. So that was like what I watched happen. And I was kind of just referring to the first day of the first episode that had come out. Jerry said that when he was playing, he played like really well on whatever match it was. And then he said the whole time he was saying, give me Ruffles, feed me Ruffles. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, that's like Ruffles was the top dog. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And so he, this guy's mad because he thought that I spoiled it by saying that well, he's a professional golfer. No, I mean, no, I know. I'm saying, how would that be a spoiler? If I don't know, man, he would be like, if Tiger Woods is mad at the Jews for the quality of jerseys. So I don't why am I talking to him? That's just a foul. That is not fully wrong. He's not fully wrong with that one. No, but really that's crazy. That guy's a lunatic. Halloween costumes. He's a browns fan in his profile pictures wearing a browns hat. And I was like, dude, your quarterback's a rapist. Yeah, yeah, that's good. And he's like, he just sexually assaulted. None of it was ever proven. Wasn't there 26 girls? He would only bring his own very small towel to every massage. So his penis would flop out. I don't want to be that guy, but I feel like 26 sexual assaults equals a rape for sure. And then he was like regular sexual assault rape. That's even worse. And I was like, I don't think that's worse. Yeah, that's definitely not worse. You're the rapist. Oh my god. But why go back and force at this guy? You have to enjoy it a little bit. Yeah, I was starting to enjoy it. That was why, because once I started making fun of the browns, and he was getting just as mad. Oh, yeah. I was like, Oh, this is this is just he's a little he's a tortured brown thing. I didn't. He's probably mad every day. He probably wakes up and remembers his team every day. And it's just furious. And he's also never honest. He gets mad at that too. I've never had someone get so mad at me over something that trivial, which is why I caught my eye. Yeah. Yeah. Like being mad at me for people are upset about the jersey. That jersey quality had not dipped. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As significantly as it seems to have it's really crazy. I tried to think of like what? Why would the stakes on that argument be so high for him? Like does he resell jerseys and that business has gone down? I don't know. I mean, I like jerseys. I have a lot of jerseys and they're all suck. Anyway, I'm sorry for like reverting the conversation away from the quality of hot dog costumes. Well, I actually was enjoying for regardless of that. I mean, it's birds of a feather. The hot it is. It really is because the hot dog costumes now that's what jerseys will be in like a year. Like they'll they'll just keep regressing and being worse and worse. Well, does that mean that until you're walking around and literally just like a t-shirt that has like a fucking the giant colors screen printed over it? Yeah. And you can just peel it all off and one rip it was stretching a gilding over some shoulder bands. That's just a blue t-shirt you apply your own stickers comes with the sticks and then it's a sticker sold separately. But you can be any player you want. You just have a plain white shirt. That's what it's going to be. It's going to be like giants on the outside and then you'll look at the inside and you're like, I think that's just a that's just a gilding t-shirt in there. It's skins. Yeah. It's a tough time for jerseys. But we also can't blame the Jews too much because then after that they will come for the Catholics. Oh, history is proven that they'll come for the Catholics next and that's what we can. I mean, yeah, you know what's really crazy though and this is going to sound fake. But so I so I end up going as Bill Nye, right? And I get up on stage at the show and there's two people sitting in the front row. One of them dressed as a mad scientist. He was dressed as Bill Nye. And the other his girlfriend is a hotdog. Isn't that fucking insane? Is that not completely crazy? I was like, what the fuck? I was like, that's literally like, those are my two costumes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They had, they laughed. No one else did. They did though. Good. Well, maybe they knew. Do you think that they're fans of yours and they're like, maybe I will wear the hotdog and be twinning? No, they were definitely weren't fans of mine. Did you have any Bill Nye? It might be now after you got them. Did you have Bill Nye jokes? No, I had a joke about the hotdog costume and how about how I almost wore it. And then I told the story about the crocodile dundee thing when the lady when I went as a kid and my friend was dressed as crocodile dundee and I was the hotdog. And the lady was like, oh my god, your crocodile dundee. And then she looked at me and she was like, who are you? And I was like, I thought like I thought she was talking to my friend. And then she looked at me again and she was like, what is this? I was like, it's a hot, I'm a hotdog. There's a massive string of mustard going down my stomach. Maybe it's not as movie quality as you remember. No, because the girl couldn't even pick up that you were a hotdog. I could find, I could ask my mom for a photo of it, but the girl in her hotdog costume was like my old one. It was a quality stuffed actual material in it. Like, bro, I'll show you. I tried it on. I tried on my hotdog. This shit, I mean, look at this thing. This thing is a piece of shit. Okay. Honestly, that's way better than I thought it was. That's because you can't really see it. You can now if you scroll or you can see like, wait, that's a flat on the ground. Can I see it on your body? I don't want to see it flat on the ground. I'm just, you know, like, I think, I will. Let me see that. Let me see that. You don't get to hold. Because the next one's a dick pic presumably. The next one's a picture of my new keyboard. It's just keyboard caps, new caps. I thought that costume was fine. I didn't think the costume is a piece of shit. And I'm so happy I didn't wear it. You know, I've never been like, it was like $30 for a costume is not that much. I don't know why you expected it to be such higher quality than that. Because $30 for a costume, that's like the standard price. There's standard inflation though. I don't know if it is. I don't know. I think it used to be. I don't even think that used to be. I feel like it's always been like 40 bucks for like one of the plastic folded up smash. You guys have no idea what you're talking about. Neither of you have any idea how much Halloween costume costs. Are you fucking kidding me? No, not at all. Well, I bought more Halloween costumes over the last 10 years than 99% of the American. You're pulling shit out of your ass right now. Are you kidding me? No, I'm not. All the old videos we used to do, we would go to not spirit Halloween. What's the other? Avocado. Avocado. Avocado. Exactly. We'd go to Avocado. Avocado and buy like the fucking George Washington. That's like going to the Louis Vuitton store and saying this is how much a pair of pants. that upstairs at Abercadavera. No, Abercadavera's, Abercadavera's the nicest Halloween store in the world. The upstairs at Abercadavera is a fucking garden variety. First of all, there is no upstairs at Abercadavera. There's a downstairs. There's enough, oh, yeah, Tyler Gris got your ass open. Tyler pulled, Tyler pulled the layout of Abercadavera. Pull out the blueprint of Abercadavera. There is enough stairs at Abercadavera, and that's where all the plastic standard Halloween costumes that aren't movie quality. Abercadavera is literally like they like fucking Steven Spielberg goes here to buy costumes for his film. He doesn't though, bro. They have a good floor layout, and then they have regular costumes. It's a spooky store for sure. It's spooky as I'll get out, but there is a nice upstairs. I'm going to stop. I'm going to stop by after, stop by after and get a fact check on this whole upstairs situation. Where'd you get your costume? Where'd you get your hot dog costume? Do you wear it on mine? Yeah. I don't know why you're surprised by this. I'm not surprised that it was a piece of shit. I'm surprised at how shitty it was. I expected it to be shitty. I just didn't expect it to be that shitty. I think that you just, you really filled it out. It looked like more of a bratwrest when you were wearing it. I mean, that looks like a hot dog now. I don't know, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Is it crazy that like you ordered a hot dog costume on Amazon for $30 and we're so put off by the poor quality of it that you changed costumes? Well, you were like put on a hot dog and you're like, I can't be seen in this. It was just that was your mentality. You're like, I can't go out of my house in such a bad quality hot dog. Yes. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. I want people to actually think of it. It's a hot dog. It's a hot dog on Halloween. It was a particularly windy Halloween and I don't want my fucking flaps flying all over the place. Do you see what I'm saying? I understand, but I'm just saying like I've had the costume before. It used to be a sturdier product. That this is the cartoonish, this is the standard for costumes now to be. I'm so serious. A lot of bullying away from as a result of its poor quality. If I got a shit hot dog costume in the mail, yeah, that's what I'm wearing. No matter what, it was, you literally had the thought you were like, this is going to embarrass me. No, it really wasn't about that. It was more so. I didn't want to be walking around Manhattan and having to like Uber and take the train and all that stuff with this big ass costume. Well, then the hot dog costume never stood a chance and it has less to do with quality and more to do with you. I bet there's something else where like, was it clingy, was it going to show your physique or penis? No, not at all. Because you could have just got two hot dog costumes and have it be really thick and just wear them like when it's cold out. That honestly would have been a better idea. Yeah. If I had two layered on top of them, I wouldn't have that really had had as much. I just like you guys, you guys just don't get it. You guys clearly weren't. No, I don't. I really weren't in Manhattan and you guys clearly were not there for the parade or anything. You didn't see the costumes and I'm telling you, I saw people in costumes very similar to mine. It was horrible. Would have been embarrassing. It really truly would have been embarrassing. But nobody, you're the only person thinking about someone else's costume being like, they should be embarrassed. No one gives a fuck on Halloween and how good someone's costume is. I'm not, I'm not walking around going, this guy should be embarrassed. It's a little mental note in the back of the head. That's fucking insane. What's embarrassing on Halloween? What sets you apart is if you choose not to wear a costume. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because at a Halloween party, which is kind of what was happened to me on Saturday. You didn't go costume? No, I was, I was invited to a party upstate. I hadn't gotten a costume. I didn't think I was going to be doing any of this. So I, you know, I was handing out candy and all these kids were coming up and great costumes and their parents were in costumes. And I got into the spirit and I felt really bad that I wasn't more prepared, that I wasn't adding anything to the joy and the spirit of the holiday for these kids, specifically. And then I was like, there's no way I can go to this party later, but I don't have some effort of a costume. So what'd you do? So I just did the most basic thing. I put on a flannel and some jeans and some cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. Cowboy. Oh, man, I like it. It's like something. It's the lowest effort. No, that's not it. That's not the lowest effort. You could definitely go lower. What I had in my, in my closet, yeah, that could pass where no one would be like, what are you? Yeah, yeah. Why do you have a cowboy hat? Just in case you don't have one. Shit. I don't know if I do. Stetson. I definitely don't have a stetson. Do you mind not a stetson? I would love a stetson just for the box, though. Yeah. It takes me a lot of space to have a whole stetson. I think I got rid of my cowboy hat. I think I had a quiet one. What color is yours, Brown? It's like a khaki. Have you ever used it as an actual cowboy hat or only costume? Oh, I don't. I can't say that I've ever worn it in earnest. Yeah. I've never roped cattle with it on. Yeah. No, of course, I've never even been horseback really on with it on. Oh, I thought you said you'd never remember, but that day will come. Yeah, definitely. I'll be ready. When did you get the hat? Probably three or four years ago, maybe maybe five years ago. That's not terrible. I bet there's a lot of people that haven't, like they put it on for the first time, like and they got a 20 years prior. Yeah. Or you go to Colorado and they're moving or like go to Nashville. Part of it. Right now. Yeah. Part of it was that this guy that I used to know years ago who worked in real estate. For whatever reason, his passion was hats. Oh, yeah. And he decided to stop working in real estate and become a hat maker. Oh, wow. And like he said that there's one company pretty much that deals in the proper beaver hats, beaver belts or felt felt beaver felt is what the great hats are made from. And he had to like beg them and lobby them because there's like four premier hat makers that get access to these felts. Yeah. And they the felt place wouldn't open up to anyone else. So he had to work and work and work and finally they agreed to start selling them to him. And now he has become like this artisanal hat maker. And you got a few. Romolo hats. R-A-M-E-L-O-W. Here's a beef. Yeah, mine's beaver. Wow. And so he made me one. It's with a W. Yeah, Ryan Romolo custom hats. He's got his own store and so ho now. I mean, he's done really, really well. This guy. Yeah, that's a salt. I mean, these hats are unbelievable. I would like to get one of the custom ones where they're like, yeah, he'll custom make one for you like heating it up and should. That's exactly what he has a steaming iron. It's really cool. And then they light him on fire for somebody saying like a fire a little crust on him. Yeah. A reverse year. I mean, these are works of art. And you know, he's the real deal. So I was trying to support him and I was excited about getting a hat. And you got to wear it for the Thanksgiving or whatever Halloween. Well, I'm already ahead. I'm already on Thanksgiving. One time I wore it to Vegas. Oh, hell yeah. On the flight there. I did wear it on the flight. Yeah. That's like that's power move. Yeah. That people know. And then I wore it. We were playing Blackjack just to be goofy. Yeah. And I just kind of enjoyed that. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with a good hat. It's peacocky. Yeah. Did you get a little attention from it? Um, like there were people coming up to you like, Oh, this guy's probably a cat. A what? A cat. A cat. Like a rancher. C.A.D. Canadian dollar. That's the other. Would you look at what a cat is? A cat is like a ham. It's like a rake. It's like a racon tour. It's a software. No. Cat definition. It's an ass. Oh, okay. Like a someone. Anyway, there's too many other things that see a little bit of an inside joke or something. No, it's just a word. It's just a regular word that you don't know. So now I don't know what in Google doesn't seem to know it either. It's just a three letter word. A cat. Yeah. I swear to God, this is a real word. You're not wrong. Now I know the word. I know the word. Yeah. That's got to see if it's on urban dictionary. There's no way. Yeah. It must be in urban because it's definitely not on Webster. Man who acts dishonorably, rudely or selfishly, especially toward women. Oh, wow. Oh, I didn't know there was such a nasty connotation. No, yeah. It's a weird thing to call one of your friends. So Francis, you're being a cat and Vegas with your. Yeah. Well, I was like, hey, sugar tits to the dealer. And then they were like, take that hat off you cat. This episode is brought to you by Crackin. Everybody has one friend that thinks he's an absolute genius trader. Well, Crackin is given you a chance to prove it. Crackin lets you trade over 600 crypto tokens and 11,000 stocks and ETFs. And now they've got something called Crackin funded. Here's the deal. You take a trading challenge, prove you know what you're doing. And if you pass, you have the chance to unlock a thousand dollar funded account. And if you get funded, you keep 80% of the profits. Normally, the challenge costs $20. But son of a boy dad listeners get it free. Here's how. Sign up for Crackin with code son. of 1000. That's S-O-N-O-F 1000. Step two, deposit $200 and trade $200. Step three, unlock your free challenge and see if you can pass it. Download the Crackin' App and use code "Sun of 1000" today to enter the challenge that is "Sun of 1000" download the Crackin' App today. By the way, I had some real weird happen this weekend. Really? May I share it with you? Of course. I'm not doing shit. I'm here. I'm just hanging out with you guys. This is an interesting one. There's some layers to this shit. All right. Okay. So, I needed my pace, my place needs to be painted, the inside. Why? I thought you had a really nice wash on those bathrooms. Both bathrooms is done and my bedroom has been done. Both of those have been painted. Those are not my living room needs to be painted. In large part because when I had my light fixtures done, we had to move J-boxes. We had to move them in the ceiling. And the person, the electrician who came and did that, ripped them out of the ceiling and then moved them and then did a pretty good job of, like, re-spacling and smoothing over and whatever. But you can see completely different colored squares of paint where the J-boxes were. So along the ceiling in multiple places, both over the kitchen island and over the dining room table, there are giant squares of paint that are totally different colored from the rest of the ceiling. So it's obvious. And I have rent my place out. And that's embarrassing. And it's like an unsightly thing if I want repeat renters. They'll be like, we're not going back to that checker box. A chest board, a checker, a fucking checkered ceiling shit. It was nice, but there was a square on the ceiling. Yeah. What does that mean? Looks like someone was hanging from the chandelier, ripped out when they did a very amateurish job of covering their tracks. So there's there's reasons for all of this. So I need the place painted. And also, yeah. So anyway, when it was delivered, it was, you know, my place is in this surgical white, just the most basic white, white, white. And I don't like that. So I want like more of a cream, more of a stone. You know what I mean? You with me? Yeah, of course. So I bought all this paint, got all the paint that took forever. And I'd hired someone off task rabbit. Have you ever used that? I haven't, but I'm familiar. Ron, of course. It's always always Russians. Well, usually, but state that they have Russians to have many Russians. They did. Okay. But here's what was confusing. I put in my zip code, my area code, zip code. zip code. Which one is it? That's I'm glad someone else gets confused by this zip code is like the five digit one. And that's what I want zip code. Thank you. Thank you. Area codes is the, like a number, the ludicrous song. Yeah. Oh, it's a different area code. 718. And you won three if I won't do. Yeah. That's the best way to remember. Right. Okay. I'll do that from now on. And your left hand makes an L. You could just remember like one of them is the zip code and one of them is an area of different things. Why would I have known the song as well? It's like, you're on Ontario, you know, visual cues. I wait. I feel like I remember this left hand. You know, cover has to do that. He still doesn't know his right from his last. Oh, yeah. He's probably fucking dyslexic. Yeah. Or he's in his late 40s. He actually might be. I got a dyslexic buddy that does that. He gets to go. He mixes up his rights and laughs all the time. You think that's awful. We're playing video games. It's pretty easy. We're playing video games in a big guy on your right. And then I'm like, there's no one on my right. It turns all the way around. He's dead. You're going to have to learn. It's on the point. Where are they? So you have, you're putting in the area. Yeah. I put my area code and then that I want my inside of my house painted. And, you know, you get a bunch of options. But then at the very top of the list was a person. And I'm not going to say her name. Her. Yep. There was a woman. A woman. And she had the most reviews and the highest rating. She was very highly reviewed and very highly rated. And weirdly, nobody else really had any reviews or any ratings. And she had like 186 starting to feel like we're running into the Japan problem again. Kind of. Yeah. That's exactly right. That's what I was thinking to. Yeah. She's pushed by the algorithm. I got a tourist trap painter. Yeah. Yeah. But it was confusing because I also saw photos of her work from previous jobs. It was just a wall, but ceilings that didn't look like checker boards, you know, really good work. And I thought, okay, well, this looks promising. Plus her rate was kind of right in the middle. You know, it wasn't the highest. It wasn't the lowest. So I was like, okay, this, you know, I'm going to go with the person that has previous reviews. And then I got her to come and right away things started going wrong. First of all, she was supposed to come like three days prior, but the paint wasn't ready yet. So I had to, you know, ask her if we could delay a couple days. And she was like, that's fine. By the way, I have a dog that comes with me. Is that okay? And I was like, what? Well, okay. It was like a support dog. Ah, still what? Yeah, the dog comes with her, which is fine. I don't have a problem with that. Do you think that male painters have that same problem? They're blind, which case awesome. What a cool job. Yeah, I painted the windows for it. I just finished out the windows. So whatever she gets to, it's the time has come and she drives to my place. Now you guys have been to my place. You just put the place in. Yeah. And you find it on your GPS. First of all, she's only messaging me through the task, grab it app, even though I gave her my phone number and she just refuses to move the conversation away from that. She doesn't want to make it personal. And it's kind of like a janky app. Yeah. Yeah. So she messages me through the app. And I'm like, are you almost here? Because by this point, she was like 25 minutes late. And she was like, I couldn't find it. Yeah. I'm at the top of the overpass. I know where that overpass is. Yeah. It's far. It's it's like, it looks out over where my place is. But there's no road in. It's like she was trying to like drive to the middle. Yeah. She's looking on Google earth. Yeah. Straight line. I got my Atlas here. I have your coordinates. Yeah. She's like, there's like, there's a guard rail. I can't get over and down the hill with trees. Like, you know, that, I'm, basically, and I was like, well, you're almost here. Just like, keep coming. Come down the hill and go right. And then I had to get in my car to go get her. Oh, because she was like, I see a cemetery. I don't know what else to do. I'm going to stop. And I was like, okay. So then she comes, she follows me in. And she comes in. Oh, this was another reason I had. I was a little like troubled. What time of days is this one one PM? Okay. And how long is it supposed to take? Well, I mean, I don't know. That's why I, what she didn't even ask me for like square footage or whatever. And I was like, I think this is going to take a couple of days because I wanted her to do the hallway and all this and the ceiling. And she just like didn't ask these questions. She also asked if I had a ladder. And then she asked me to get her a painter's kit off of Amazon. What? And the guy who did my like bedroom and bathroom didn't ask for any of that shit. No. A real professional painter has a brush has a roller. Yeah, but that's like taskrabbit. Like they just pick up jobs and they just like learn how to do them while they're there. No. Yeah. Yeah. No, they actually do that. They'll be like, if you had somebody come out your TV, that guy's show, that Russian dude is showing up with a fucking toolkit. That guy's showing up with a YouTube video. That's how I'm mounted TV. Guys that don't that don't have all the tools that will need something for mounting a TV. You're talking like a power drill. This is specifically taskrabbit. Because they're just like you're kind of just buying a guy for like an hour. And you're like, I don't want to do this. I don't really care if you know how to do this, but you're going to do it. But then shouldn't I have benefited from having chosen the person that had 186 positive reviews with photos of her work? Yeah. Doesn't it, sir? That's scammed. Doesn't it stand to reason that that person of all of them would have a paintbrush? You would assume. And a roller with the to ask gravity, you can't ask me. - Dude, she comes in, right? And already I'm like, okay, she couldn't find my place. She asked me to buy her the tools. I've managed to borrow a ladder. She comes in, she starts looking around. She's like, wow, okay, wow. Yeah, boy, this is gonna take a lot longer than I thought. And I was like, what did you think? - Yeah. - It was gonna take, how long? - I told you, I was like, it's probably 1,800 square feet of like ceiling, hallway, walls, all this. 'Cause I had asked her, I was like, I don't think you're gonna finish it today. So when can you come back? So we can get this done as quickly as possible. She was like, maybe on Monday. And I'm like, okay, Jesus. So to any point, did you think like, I should probably just pivot and get a painter? That's where this is going, how do I hope so? - So I'm sitting there and then she's like, okay, yeah, this is gonna take, this is gonna take a while. And I was like, how long do you think it'll take? And she was like, give her take a week. And I was like, when you say that, do you mean one week plus or minus a week? Is that what the give her take of a week means? And then she goes, okay. Now, ooh, I see that you've got like bookshelves and built-in things. I don't wanna get paint on those. Do you have plastic to cover them? - Oh my God, bro. - And I was like, all right, we need to have a conversation. (laughs) I said, look, I'm sorry. She had told me that it had taken her an hour to get there in the car. - And what was her rate? - Her hourly. - 77. Her rate on the app, this was confusing. The rate on the app was like 80 bucks. And she told me she makes 77 of that. That can't be, right? - I don't know. - Does taskrabbit give the workers like fully 90-ish, 95% of the fee? - I have no clue. - Maybe they charge on top. - Oh wait, a fee. - I can't. - What a taskrabbit, it's 100% of the hourly rate. Plus tips. Okay, so then I'm sure that they charge a fee on top. Either way, she got her whole rate, right? So 80 bucks an hour. And she's pretty solid. She had driven out and she had told me she was like, I'm sorry, I don't have any of these things. To be honest with you, I'm kind of between homes right now. And she's like, what you saw in my car, those are like my belongings. And I was like, oh my God. - Yeah, this is a tricky situation. And she was like, I was really counting on this job. - Yeah. - And I was like, oh my God. And I was like, look, in all honesty, she told me that after I said what I'm about to say. Which was like, look, I'm sorry for making come all the way out here. I'll pay you, but this has not inspired confidence. And I don't feel good about moving forward with such an important job when you don't have any idea what's going on. - Yeah, yeah. - Like basically, I was like, you know, you don't have a ladder and I get it, all these things. And she's like, well, part of the reason I don't have those things is because all my things are in storage because I'm between homes. So I was like. - She got you. She's got your ass in a pocket. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, she has the five stars. - So, I guess I'll just take a five star review and get out of here. (laughing) - I was like, I'm between stars, right now. - I was like, I'll pay you for your time. And let's just call it there. And I was like, and I'll give you some money on top. - Yeah. - So I asked her if she had Venmo. And she was like, yeah, but I have to go through the app for the two hours, for the time that you booked already. And I was like, okay, so charge me an hour for that. And then I'll Venmo you on top. And she was like, it's a two hour minimum for me. And I was like, okay, confirm that. And I'll Venmo you on top. So I'm in for 160 off the app. What would you two have given based on all of that in addition to this woman? - Yeah, I'd give her maybe 160, honestly, maybe double it. But that's just the kind of guy I am. Ron, you said zero? - Zero. (laughing) - Why zero's a fair answer, by the way. I don't think that's like flasing you. She's probably not even homeless. She probably has a mansion and is a good painter. She's just like, oh my god, I do not want to do this. - She told me she was here. - I like to give people the benefit of the doubt would have thrown her 160. She told me she was between homes because she was having a hard time finding a new place that allowed her two dogs to live there. We're in the country. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't know a single home that would be like, no pets allowed on this six acres that you've just rented. - Well, do you think it's a home or is she getting an apartment? - Probably an apartment. - I don't know. May you listically? Maybe. - Well, you're gonna finance that single handedly. I mean, you've given her a month rent. - Yeah. - What did you give her? - I gave her 200. - On top of it. - On top, I can prove it. No, you don't have to, I believe you. - You believe me. - You gave her 360, I don't know. - I completely believe you. - You signed her to see the 360 deal? - I'm just gonna prove it. - Oh my gosh, yeah. - It feels important to prove it. I don't know why. - I would have done the same. It's like, it sucks. Like, ideally, you would have given her $0, but that's just not how the cookie's crumbled. - That's her, right there. - Oh, yeah. - See 200 bucks? - Yeah. - In addition to the 160 on TaskRabbit. So, I literally could be her move. Like, you're not wrong. She could just show up everywhere and be like, I don't, for 186 positive reviews. - I don't know. - What's happened? What happened? - Did you reach out to customers at home? - No, I don't want to fuck this woman's life up. - You're not going to, dude. - You would definitely will if you reached out to customer support. - Yeah. - Dude, she's scamming people. What? - She didn't scam. - I mean, it's not really a scam if Francis sent her home. - Correct. - She would have been willing to do the job. - I just could not, as we continued to talk, and she revealed more and more things that she did not have that you would expect a painter to have. - Well, she's not a painter. It's also you got to get that at your head. - Bro, that's like her main gig on this, though. She's the number one person that pups up when you write house painter, interior painting. - House painters that operate off of task, grab it in upstate New York. - In my area. - That's like, there's probably eight people. - No, there were a lot. People, 'cause people will drive an hour. People will drive, there's like a hundred mile radius or whatever, I don't know what it is. - I mean, not a hundred miles, but 50 mile radius. - Yeah. - So, I guess my question is, you know, like, I gave her three hundred and six, I got to a point where I was like, what would I pay to not have my home be fucked up? Knowing that I will then have to hire another painter to undo what I presume will be shoddy work. And it was, for me, it was like, I don't know, 360 bucks doesn't seem that bad. No, I would have done the same thing. - And I felt somewhat responsible for not doing more research. And I was the whole time, I was like, this is why you go through a reputable interior paint company. - Yeah, yeah. - Rather than through some, I mean, I feel like a real painting company would get that done in like two hours, no? - No. - No, I don't think so. - But they would also be there at like five in the morning. That's why I asked what time, 'cause they were five. - With a truck. - Yeah, they wanna get in, get out, they have it all planned. - They're moving at multiple workers. - And they have multiple workers. - Two man jobs. - They're moving the shelves to have the plastic. - That's gonna be $10,000 though. - It is? - I think so. - I think it'll be like eight to 10. - What? - I bet it'll be that. - Oh my lord. - And this lady was gonna be 40 or 80 an hour. - Get the lady, I'd get her back on the horn. - I know. - Hey, hey, well, man, I'm gonna be the steak. - No, I'm thinking about it. - I wonder if they pay people for their accounts. I wonder if that's the thing in the taskrabbit world. Like how people buy other people's Twitter accounts. - For Uber accounts? - Yeah. - Okay, Harry, to your point. This is what this person can help you with. Arts and crafts? - Oh. - Painting. - Branch and hedge trimming, concrete and brick painting, decoration, indoor painting, landscaping help, organization, waiting in line. - I mean, look, realistically no one is good at all of those things. There's got to be a flaw in there somewhere. - Master of knowledge. - And it sounds like yours was interior painting. - If you had done arts and crafts, now if you were cutting piece of paper into snowflakes, this one might have thrived. - I do love that waiting in line, though. I'm trying to think of where I could use that. - Bro, you got to use same for residues. - For residues. - For reservations. - Yeah. - Or to get some frozen yogurt or whatever's big in the city now. - They got to be so pumped when they get one of those jobs. Oh, I just got to go stand somewhere. And I'm gonna get paid the same that I would get paid if I was painting someone's house. Like that's a pretty, that would be my only thing. - It's just different rates for all those jobs. - Oh, okay. - Same old line dudes is a $50 no matter what, or $55 for no matter how long the line is. - Yeah. - No matter how long they wait. - Yeah, if it's like-- - Oh per hour. - No, no, it's like three hours, it's $55. Same old line dudes, LLC. - That's fucked up. - What about if it's five hours? What if you want someone to camp out for sneakers? - Yeah. - It's giving them 55. five. Maybe they, I don't know about the sneaker. You can just get a homeless dude to do it at that point. If you're paying them five dollars an hour. Maybe, but I mean, a lot of the I was wonderful for you. I can't help it that my line formed in my backyard. Five dollars an hour is literally like home. That's like you're giving. But I think I don't think it's usually that much. I bet they have a different rate for that that would make a lot of sense. But usually it's one, uh, one two or three hours. Damn. Like I think that my guys seem to be they got bad rates. That's like Uber versus Lyft. They've been around for like 13 years. Really? Yeah. Damn. How many other cities can they operate that in? I heard probably just added Chicago. I don't know. I would assume like L.A. Chicago, New York, D.C. maybe where else do they have lost? And fucking shocks me to play Miami. I bet they got a lot of Miami. I wonder if everyone's waiting in line out there. I wonder if there's something where when you go to exchange places with this person. As they get to the front, let's say it's something like that where like I would have a major issue with that. Right. But like if someone, one of these lines, people, line people is like, I'll also hug you and pretend that we're related to make it seem little acting in there. Yeah. Like so it's not as hostile when the transition goes down. I'll make out with the swap when the swap goes down. I'll make out with you like we're a couple and you bring me a bag of grocery like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were shopping for my thing while I was waiting in line for us. I like to tell an old story like that. You can bigger a little bit. I feel like they should add that into like clear too when you're cutting the line. Because it feels bad when they have you walk and cut all those people. Yes. Like you're cutting through like just like families. Like it would be cool if they tried to make a little more casual like that. With the person that you're jumping ahead of. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know how they would be incentivized. But that does sound nice. I don't know. I'm just. When would you ever be feeling bad about that? Cutting and clear. It's not cutting. Oh, it's a it's humiliating. It's the different line. Yeah. But it's it's it's a little bit. Some of them they bring you to the front. They just I see what you just plump you down right in front of that. I see what you mean. I stopped plumping. They stopped plumping. They're not plumping. They're not plumping as much anymore. They have a designated line now. Yeah. That's what I that's what I was thinking. I want to know who owns clear and like what how does that how did that just happen? How do you how do you just like start that? I think clear is is like maybe the biggest scam going on in the world right now. It's probably owned by like some government. And they're just collecting all of our information. A woman. Don't tell me it's the fucking painter. She painted my hair. They're wanted to. A lesbian chair of seat. Wow. Oh, clear. What a great. I mean, how to she that's a connected woman. Yeah. How does she even get into that? It's not like you just call JFK and you're like I have a service that I'm looking to get going in your. Yeah. I guess it's shoe shining. Yeah. All right. May I speak to Mr. Kennedy. Is John there? Is Tom the guardian there? I got this great idea for fast tracking the security lines. Hi, you got your name. I got your number from Ronald down in DC. He said you guys might be they weren't interested, but you might be a better guinea pig. If you call the O'Hare family, they might be able to help you out. Yeah. It's a fucking racket. I don't know how they're still letting people. Just what I just don't know, but they created clear the authority. Like I say is like a government. But like I so like if I fly out of LaGuardia and I have sky priority, which I almost always do because of my status on the flight, regardless of where I'm sitting, I usually I'm sky priority. I always take the sky priority line. There's never anyone in the line. I fly to the front. Why is clear still going in front of me? I'm not like I didn't sign off on that. I didn't tell them that clear got to cut me. It's not your call, bro. But what like, but whose call is that? Whose call said clear is going to get to go ahead of sky prior. You got to follow the money. So clears me. That is actually he might be getting with that's exactly right. You have to follow the money. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. I don't think about that. But I pay for clear too. So could shouldn't I just be like, Hey, I'm sky priority and I'm clear. Stop getting in the goddamn sky priority lines. No, if you choose not to do the clear, then you forfeit the right to be going in front of them or among them. I'm not wearing my face, but like shouldn't there be like a vote on that or something who decided clears top dog no matter what it is the money. It's as simple as that. Think of this. There are a number of credit cards that offer a clear credit for an annual membership of that card. Yeah. How on earth could those gigantic credit card companies be in cahoots with clear if not for the fact that clear is presumably sharing data or giving them a bunch of money just as they're probably doing the same with the airports. I love where you're on that data. Yeah. Yeah. They're probably selling our data. You're right. That's what it is. I mean, they make you scan every part of your body nine times before you go through the line. Yeah. I have to place my balls on the scanner. All right. Time for the ball scan. Oh, these were today. I was hung over when you first took my balls. These might be a little bit droopy or in my picture. Let me reset my balls. Mine didn't work for the longest time because my photo is like me coming home from like Phoenix or something. Like a corpse in the photo. Yeah. 4 a.m. flight back from the cross side. I used to always have to be like, I got to do the fingers. The eyes don't work. I got to do the balls. I got to do my shaft. My balls don't work. I mean, now they hit you with the fingers then or they'll get you with the eyes. And then you got to go up and you got to do the eyes again at the big thing. They're getting so much of your. What did you think happened between me doing the eyes there? I mean, doing the eyes here. I threw like fake contact lenses. At Newark, you have to spit into it. At Newark, they swab the inside of your mouth and then they send it out to 23 and me. They really get to the bottom of it. But I wonder what I wonder the power structure of where all the money goes to? Where does it funnel to? Who gets the biggest chunk? I mean, do they first have to get into and who's getting shafted? Cause someone's probably pissed about it. I mean, they also just give away clear, which is the thing that's weird to me. Like it's not like they give away sky priority. You got to earn that clear. It's like if you order McDonald's on DoorDash, you have six years of clear for it. If you got a trap or key bridge. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, did you just get a water from Dwayne Reed? Oh, you just got 10 years of clear. Yeah. But then TSA, then TSA touchless. It doesn't. It just doesn't. Something's not making sense. But I mean, I at the end of the day, I would have also given 160. I was kind of in a situation last week where I left my phone in an Uber and then I had to give the like they get now they have it on Uber, where if you leave your phone, it's automatically you automatically get charged $20. I've seen that. So like, but then like, do you give money on time? Oh, you have to. Yeah. I always have. You have to think about you're getting your phone back. This guy, this guy got me good though. How he goes. So do you say you give the 160? You're fresh off of fleecing and you want it to feel less bad. No, I gave him 100. You gave the guy 100 on top of the 20. Yeah. Yeah. We might need to see proof of that. The last time I did it, I gave the guy 200. What was that for phone? Really? I've left my phone twice. I'll say this. Well, how do you know how far he was coming from? So this is the, this is the issue. Oh, it's going to say 200 is very generous. 200, the guy came from Long Island. So that was and I was in West Village at the time. So that was like I was or he was just he was in the fucking East Village. Yeah, I'm in Long Island. No, because I could track my location of the phone. Got it. But this guy was right by me. And so I lose my phone. This is I mean, they got to do something about this. You lose your phone. I go back. I get inside. I knew I lost my phone. It's the second I went into my building. I went back outside and I saw him peeling around the corner. And I was like, I it's over. Yeah, and my phone. He saw it. He's like, I'm a guest far away from going to Long Island. Yeah. And my phone was dead, which is why I forgot it. That's happened both times. It's because I dies. And then I just like put it down and I just like look out the window and then I forget about my phone. You put it in your pocket. I don't know what I was doing. You get lost in your thoughts. I just wasn't thinking I might as well put in the cup holder. Yeah, you're just not. I just wasn't thinking about my phone. I guess I'll throw in the trunk. Yeah. So anyways, I get out the phone's gone. What the fuck are you thinking about that? I don't know. I don't know. I forgot my phone. I left my phone. It's the it's not. It's not that crazy. It happens. But you're the opposite of preoccupied. Like you have nothing to occupy you. So you should only be thinking about that. I actually quite like the fact that you were just pleasantly and peacefully looking out the window. It's existing. I was there's nothing else to do. There's nothing else to do. Yeah. Analog sauce. So the phone. So the this were the issue. What if what if one last thing? What if Sass's phone dies and all of a sudden he just becomes like the most pleasant social. You can see it honestly. Communicate. It starts talking to the Uber driver like so any interest in me teaching you called duty or tell me about it. No, but the this is where the real. This is where the real issues take place. And this is actually kind of the second time this has happened to me in like two weeks. I told you guys about it a couple weeks ago. So you I last time this happened to me. I left my phone in an Uber. I went back immediately just got on my laptop. Went on the Uber website logged in message them. I left my phone whole thing easy. Now you lose your phone. You can't get into the Uber website because you need the two the two two factor authentication. Could you do another way? Could you do it via email? So I'm doing via email. and then it's just sending, it's still sending it to my phone. And then it's going, enter your recovery code. Who the fuck has their recovery code? It's on my phone. - Well hold on, I make, oh you, okay, I see what you mean. - The recovery code is on my phone. It's a one time code. - Is it sending it to your phone or is it saving like a keychain? - No, recovery code is like, it's on the app in the thing. It's not anywhere. You don't have a guarantee, neither of you guys know where your recovery code is. - Oh, I definitely don't. I just started two factories. - Yeah, it's brutal. - The two factories, so I can't get into the website of Uber to let them know I lost my phone. At this point, like three hours have gone by. My phone is gone and there has been zero progress made towards getting my phone again. So eventually I'm like, I'm literally out of options. I can't contact Uber. They don't have a, just a number you can call. They don't have a thing that you can just message or else do they make you, which I ended up having to do. This whole like support sheet on like, I've locked out and I can't get back into my account. Whole thing. I end up transferring my eSIM card to an old phone so that I can get the code. And then I get. - That's pretty, that is pretty impressive from you. - It's not impressive. It's more just annoying. - No, I won't allow you to not, I would never have known how to do that. - Oh no, it's really easy. - Don't do that. - No, I'm not letting you down play. How resourceful that is. - Go to transfer eSIM. - You're a resourceful bastard. - No, I'm really not. - Take the compliment, brother. - It really wasn't a resourceful man. - A resourceful man. - Now you're making me feel stupid. - For not knowing. - You should feel stupid. - Well, I don't. - Because I don't leave my phone in Uber's. - It's true. - But the guy ends up, that lasted for literally like six hours, like me trying to just get in contact with Uber, which is crazy. It's crazy that like, just send the code to my email or do anything that would make me get into that account. - The hackers would want it. Like, that's how the hackers would do it though. - But like get access to your email. - It's just like, bro, like shit is just so unbelievably broken right now with like AI and like the customer service. Like it's like, it makes you want to like rip your fucking hair out. Like I'm like messaging the customer service. I can't get into my account. Well, we just sent a code to your phone. I don't have my phone. I said that a hundred times. My phone is in the car. How am I supposed to get the code? And then they're like, oh, and like they just have no answers. Like there's nothing you can do. So I end up getting it in, end up getting into my old phone. And now I can't get into the Uber app because now I'm locked out. Because I've like changed devices so many times or whatnot and now they're still asking me for my recovery code. So now I'm literally just like, there's no way I can get into the Uber thing. And now I got people from Uber calling me being, and I'm like, bro, why is this so complicated? Like why am I talking to like high up reps at Uber when I could just be like, hey, I lost my phone. Can you bring it back? Like it should be like a one second process. - You know, who could have helped you is, if you would call the Delta Diamond Medallion. - Oh, I would have figured it out. - They would have got you your Uber. - Yeah, they would have figured it out. - Yeah, they would have said. - They're resourceful as hell and American. - You know, I said that I'd only have my phone in Uber's. I left my iPad on a Delta flight. - Yeah, yeah. - And it went all the way to Logan. - Yeah. - And then I got it back two or three weeks later. - Yeah. - They shipped it to me. I had to pay 50 bucks, but. - 50 bucks is nothing. He's paying 200. You might as well throw up in the Uber on top of your phone when they get back for the 200. - Yeah, it's actually not bad. I did stick my head in the window. (laughing) Just to even things out. - Here's the 200 and put it on my bill. - So anyways, I end up getting in contact with the guy 'cause Uber, I give Uber my consent to share my phone number and vice versa, the driver consents to for me to have his phone number as well. Very delicate process. And then I'm recording our bush owners meeting and I pick up my phone and I have nine missed calls. The guy called me and I'm like, "Hey, I was sorry, I was doing something for work. I'm around now if you can bring it back whenever." And he was like, "Oh, I was here. I was trying to call you." He never texted me or said anything. I like, "Hey, I'm outside." He just was spam calling me. So I didn't see it. And then I texted him and I said, "I'll give you $100 cash if you bring my phone back." And then he hits me with the craziest Uno reverse. He goes, "Great, thanks. I'll bring it tomorrow." I was like, "Ah, no, the $100 was for today." (laughing) 100 was for right now, not tomorrow. - Tomorrow is insane. Where was he? - He was in Queens. - So he probably finished his shift. - He finished his shift and he was like up at like, but he was like right by La Guardia. And I kept on being like, "I'll come pick it up." And he was like, "No, you're living Queens." - Yeah. - He's probably like, "I'm flying back tomorrow." - Yeah, yeah. And then he ended up to Queens tomorrow. - He ended up bringing it at 7 p.m. the next day. - Oh no. - Brother, I could have Uber Day run you for $10, note 7 p.m. - Right. - Yeah. - I wake up at 8 a.m. I was up at 8 a.m. today. - He's just joking. Don't mind me. - No, I'm not amused. - He's just joking. - I'm not amused. - He's just saying that Joe was out in the mood. - No, but the whole thing was fucking ridiculous. - He wasn't serious about you waking up at 7 p.m. - I forgot it's a recording day. He woke up in the middle of the night. - It's crazy that it's great. - I wake up earlier than both of you guys do. Swacking ridiculous. It's literally slander. - What time you wake up today? - 5.30. - Yeah, and then one time you go back to bed. (laughing) - I have screaming kids at a daylight savings time. - Rome wakes up at 5.30 for like 15 minutes and then you're right back under the sheets at 6. - I get in my kids' bed. - 6 to 9. - I think you don't understand what the demands of having children are. I'm up with my eyes peeled open. It's clockwork orange for the time I'm awake. I come here for this is my break. - Stop, bag. - And that's why I don't mind when Francis makes a small joke or something like that. - No, I'm just here. This is my leisure time. - Of course. - I look forward to this. - Yeah, I don't mind either. - I look forward to it. - I don't mind it. - You don't mind it. - No, I like it. - I like it. It's fun. (laughing) - Oh man. - Oh man. - That guy really got me though. I mean, it is a great cadence. Just like be like, okay, I was like, if you bring it right now, I'll give you 100 bucks. Great, awesome. - Did you say right now? - I was like, if you bring it back. - Yeah. - You left yourself open. - And then he hit me with, yeah, I'll bring it tomorrow for a haunted. - That's brutal. - Yeah. - Was there any other push or negotiation from your end? - No, what am I gonna do? - But did you need it the next day? Or, I mean, did you need it then? You were using the old phone. - No, exactly. At this point, I was like, just fucking keep it dude. This is such a pain in my ass. I'll just use this piece of shit. - What was the old phone? - 12. - Oh, okay, yeah. - Really, really shitty 12 though. - But it does give reason for keeping your old iPhones. I'd never knew about this. - Yes, I agree. - I never knew that was possible. - Yeah, it is actually. - Nobody does in fact. - You're the first person that's unveiled. - It's actually so easy that if you have both phones together, you can just put them side by side. - Doc's phone. - Transfer. Sam, I just swaps to the next. - Yeah, that's cool. - Like a mid-air refuel. - I was thinking of the penis in 4-skid. - Yeah, of course. - Chinese finger twirls, of course. - Yeah, that's, I mean, there's a tough circumstance to be in, but did you feel like you were unplugged for a little bit? - Maybe, well, no, the time period of when I lost my phone to not being in contact with Uber was incredibly stressful 'cause I was like, I have no, I'm sending emails to people. I got no way of contacting anybody. 'Cause like I used to have a Mac laptop. So like if I lost my phone. - Did you get any emails? I didn't get any emails. - I didn't get any emails. - I guess we were just getting gray rocked. - Yeah, we got gray rocked. - We had already finished recording. We just recorded that day. It was the way, it was on my way home from the office. - Yeah, I don't know. I just remember emotionless and being detached. - You didn't even know I lost my phone. - Of course I did. No, you didn't. Just tweet it out. - By MOOC? - Yeah, that's what I knew. - It texted me about it. I swear to God. - What'd he say? - He's like this fucking guy and then a screenshot of how you lost your phone. - Oh, he broke your balls? - Yeah. - Vicious. - MOOC, the roast master gets a new contract. - It was a good ball break. - And just fries you to kingdom come. - Yeah, people were ripping me about that. They were like, he's so all over the place. 'Cause I said, what time are we recording? And he doesn't even know what time he's doing his job. And I was like, no, I knew we were recording at like 4.30 or 6, or some shit. So I was asking for clarification. - Well, I mean, it's bad, but is it as bad as anti-Semite's getting on you for the quality of Jersey's these days? (laughing) 'Cause that's what I get. - A level of anger. - Yeah, I would have if someone hurt my family. - Yeah, yeah, definitely. - Just, and you're not even a semi. (laughing) - Wow. - You're an anti. - Yeah, you're just getting, you're getting trapped anti-Semitic trappinal. It's not even directed at you. Stepping in front of a bullet you wasn't meant for. - Are you guys preparing for Doomsday at all? What do you mean? - I don't know, there's like some, there's a little bit of like a looming threat going on right now. - According to what? - The world. There's like 30 countries that are like, well, this also, Trumps could build. Are we talking about the Doomsday clock? - Well, there's a possibility that we nuke Iran, which is really up in the air right now, but that would kind of unlock. That would, we would all die most likely in that scenario. But there was another thing going on in like a bunch of other countries that people are preparing food and stuff in like 30 countries in Europe. 'Cause of people are anticipating some sort of blackout, like a cyber attack. - They're preparing food. So they're making like casseroles and stuff. - Yeah, like casseroles and lasagna's and like five layer dips, stuff like that. Like it's the Super Bowl. (laughing) - I'll make jalapenos, my famous end of the world, Buffalo chicken dip. Seven different ways to do it, Twinkie. (laughing) - I make it whenever things are looking really bleak. This is why I got a bird hunting dog though. I'm gonna be getting, you might know. - Oh, you can live off the fat of the land. - We're gonna be living off the land together. - I don't even have enough food for today. (laughing) - If you went home, all right. - Let alone like six months. - On a question, on a question. - Yeah. - Let's say you went home today right now, right? - That's bacon. - That's bacon. - You're in your home. - All I have is actually bacon. - We get told that we are not, we're not allowed to leave our apartments because there, if you go outside, the air will tell you. - I don't know today. - Come on. - I'm done being so serious. - Saying, you know, leaving, leaving, like what? I guess your water tap still works somehow. - Yeah. - So we have unlimited water. How long could you survive? How much food do you have in your home? - That you could survive on, for how long? - Like if I were to ration at all? - Yeah, ration at all. - I don't know. How long does it take to starve to death two weeks? - I don't know the answer to that. - Water, I mean. - Water, we have unlimited water. - J.C. that it for 40 days. - That is true. - Yeah, I think it's like two weeks, or maybe it's a week. - All right, but like, let's say, you know. - I have right now, I'm telling you. - You're not like eating a piece of popcorn a day. - Yeah. - You're not using it at the full week, like, you know. - Two to three months. - If they have access to water. So I guess two to three months. I'll just give it to you as simple as I can, Francis. In my house right now, in the refrigerator, there are four eggs and there's probably 12 pieces of bacon. And that is it. - That's the whole amount of food. - And there's yogurt. There's a thing of Greek yogurt as well. - So you don't have like a pantry that has, you know, some cereal in it or anything like that? - But I do have, I might have a can of corn as well, 'cause I bought a big thing of corn, but I didn't have a can opener. - You have one can of corn? - It's a big can. - Well, that's a can that's gonna be going for a lot of money if like we're actually saving food. - Well, how'd you get a can of corn? - 'Cause I was making tacos. - Oh. - But they hadn't ended up having to be cornless. I couldn't get it open. - Cornless talk. - It was like, right when I moved. - He was my famous cornless talker. - Can opener. - You probably thought you're about to be cooking a bunch. - I have been cooking. - Yeah, eggs and bacon. - Yeah. - I think that counts. - I'm trying to think about in my, I have dried noodles and that's actually smart. - I have a freezer that has like a bunch of frozen fish and chicken in there. - Yeah, so you'd be good for a bit. - Yeah, I would be fine. - In the sear of steak. - Here and there. - Oh, so your doomsday prepped. - Yeah, I suppose so. Well, that's why again, that's why I got the dog. - The dog is good to have for doomsday for sure. - Well, probably last, like at least six servings of meat. - Are you familiarizing yourself with the rod? - Keeping the rod in your hands. - I have my rod, I have my tackle. I have all that. - Is that's going to become survival. You're not going to be out there fishing for leisure anymore. - Sass is going to be day two and he's going to be just waiting by the cockroach holes, like a lizard with his tongue to be like, "Here, fishy, fishy bug." "Come here little boy." - Don't know, I've changed my mind. You can come out now. - But they're all filled with poison. So they're slowly killing me at the same time. - That's a paradox, brother. That's a Grecian tragedy right there. - Yeah, I know. Damn, I got a crank radio. - Yeah. - Yeah, you should get one. - What'd you do that for it? Why? - For to figure out what's going on in the world. The news, they're going to be giving announcements off of it. - I see. - Yeah. - It's a big part, it's a big type of content right now that people are making. That's like, the world is actually the most fucked it's ever been right now. Like, alarmist content is blowing up. - Yeah, probably. - But like, I saw some clips of that podcast diary of a CEO. Have you ever heard of that? - No, it sounds like a hell. - It's time, and I had to look it up 'cause I was like, who is this for, bro? - If you could pay me to watch whatever the fuck that is. - It's like, and it's like, the guy makes like 40 million dollars a year. - Oh, no way. I have seen this guy. - Is this Jay Shetty? - I have seen this guy. - Is it Jay Shetty? - No, I think it's the other guy. - He's the other like, for sure, ambiguously ethnic guy. - Yeah, yeah. - Who's just like, yeah, he's, he's like Chad Sneco. - Yeah, he's Chad Sneco. He has a British accent, but he kind of sounds AI tuned. And all that C-I-X C-I-A whistleblower guy on. - He did? - Yeah, I don't know about my recommended. - I'm just like, who is this fucking for? 'Cause it just seems, it sounds so boring. He brings nothing to the table, but somehow people are going on and like, spilling their guts on these shows. But it's all alarmist. It's all people who are like in AI and defense being like, we had it good for the last 80 years. And now it's about to be the fucking like, nuclear winter for the United States. And I think that that's what they're selling. It's basically fear that things are about to go bad. - But isn't that also like, very possible? Did that happen? - I don't know, but we should get into the game of selling the fear, 'cause it's good for numbers. - That is true. - That is true. - It's just got blown up, whether it's true or not. Like, we might as well sell the fear. Hey Ron, how much do you think about like, you know, when I die, I hope that the world is still in a good place for my children versus when I die. I don't give a shit, I'm dead. And I can be thinking about anything. - I hope it's in a good place, but I also don't feel like this. Like, oh, I gotta do something. I just feel pretty powerless to the, and I think that more time you spend it with a fucking playground, the less you give a fuck about like nuclear weapons. You're like, oh, this shit does not fucking, this is all manufactured. Like, maybe it's real, maybe it's not, but like the amount of the texture life is completely based on how much energy you give it and how much you look into it. - Yeah, true. I have no idea what's going on anymore. - Doesn't feel good. - I'd read up. It doesn't feel bad. - It doesn't feel bad. - I get some water for sure. Maybe some beans. - And maybe feel your bathtub with diesel fuel. - Yeah. - My dog's really cute. We bonded quickly. - Yeah, how old and it hasn't been shitting in the house a bunch? - No, she's honestly, I got my guy, Hussie told me right now. - What's that? - She's parked off seventh. - She's with the four-play producer. - Watching footage. - No, she, you know, we, my, Hussie told me like they're really smart and you should be able to house trainer very, very quickly. And he was right. - Yeah. - I mean, I pretty much house, pretty much house trainer in like a day and a half. - Damn. - Because, you know, I was just taking her out constant. Like you feed her and then you take her out and walk her until she goes to the bathroom and then you give her a few pieces of kibble as a trait. To the point where, and the first night, first night was a little tough. Went to bed at like 10.30. I was up at like 12.30. She had to pay, raced her out. She peed, gave her some kibble. Walked me up. She woke me up again at like 2.30 and 6 a.m. - Ooh. - 8 a.m. - That sounds like it. - After the 6 a.m when I was up. But, by the second or third time of that night, she knew, she would whimper. I'd let her out of her crate. We'd raced to the door, take her out. She'd run to the spot, pee on it and look to me for more kibble. She knew that peeing outside was something that would be rewarded with a treat. - Yeah, yeah. - Didn't poop in the house once. - That's awesome. - What? - Yeah. And by the way, when I had Ruby, that was hell. She pooped in the house all the time. Favorite, yeah, she preferred it. - Yeah, yeah. - I remember her period. - Yeah. - It was yesterday. - It was a tough period. - A tough period. - A tough period. - Yeah. - Period and time. - Yeah. So yeah, so she's been great. - You put her in a diaper to a slower period. - Look, I don't even have that dog anymore. I don't know why you're not coming up there. I got a new dog now, all right? - Is she spayed? - My new puppy? - Or a new spade? - Spayed, yeah. - No, you can't, they say, I mean, they say you're not supposed to spay them until after their first heat. - Right, with a pure breed. - Is that right? - I think if they're in a shelter, that you've got to spam right away. - Oh, really? - Or just get knocked up as. - Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, no, she, so I gotta wait a while on that. - Okay, so another round of diapers. Well, you should have a diaper party. Have you heard of these? It's like baby showers for men, but it's, guys bring a bunch of diapers and then you go in a bar crawl or some shit like that? - That sounds real weird. - Should we, or you don't want to do it? - Nope. - A reason to celebrate you and your dog. - Oh, I'm not interested either. - What? - No. - All right, you're disinvited. You're fucking great. - I didn't want to go, I didn't want to go. - You were never invited. You're a branch. I was talking to Francis about it. - I mean, look, if you, you want to put some diapers on with some boys and, you know, go around again. - Yes, I'm saying, my diapers to your diapers. I don't know that we need to leave the head. for that, though. I think we can make that happen inside. That'd be up for that. Is it great in your bedroom? Yeah. So it's right by your bed. Uh-huh. That's nice. How is she with crate training? Pretty good. She likes her crate. Part of that is, and this was just my own technique. I can reach through the crate. So I had it right near my bed, and when she would start to whimper, if I like, when I first would put her in, she'd be upset. To be like, away from me and integrate, and I would just reach in, give her a hand and pat her a little bit, and that would settle her down. That's nice. I also got her one of those toys that has a heartbeat, and that she liked that. Maybe her live mouse, you mean? It has this little, like, motorized, you know, rhythmic pulsing thing that replicates a heartbeat, and you shove it inside its, you know, stomach, and she, that seemed to comfort her. Oh nice. Yep. That's interesting. I've never heard of that. How's she told me to get that? It's a cool toy. She got one of those rubber balls with the peanut butter. I gave her, I have puzzles for her. Kong. Yeah. It's all the Kong stuff. Kong. I gave her a bunch of puzzles. She did pretty well with them. Um, Jake saw? Huh? Jake saw? They're like, you move pieces around. There's little pieces of cable underneath, you know, just gotta move a piece in order to, that's cool. Yeah. That's cool. It's been in the Rubik's, you know, Francis, do you feel like this kind of, looming, impending, um, necessity to leave the world in a better place, uh, for her? Oh, no, she's only gonna live like 12 or 13 years. So I don't give a fuck. Um, I will definitely outlive her. And I don't have children. So as far as I'm concerned, my, my consciousness dies with me. Therefore, I want to blow shit up. Oh shit. I want to like, you're like, hey, Nanyahu, are you going to take that? You're gonna cry too? I want to like, I want to like see, you're trying to escalate. Stir the pile. Yeah. Yeah. You want escalation. Yeah. Hey, Ron, like Israel fucking, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And your disinformation and chaos agent. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't say it. I just got a diary of a CEO. Yeah. Don't kill the messenger. Don't stone the messenger to death. Diary to CEO. It's like H three for like fake intellectuals. Yeah. Yeah. But it's, it's massive. And this guy's not, I only heard of this guy because he's on all the lists of like most lucrative podcasters. It's like him, PFT Big Cat, Giggly Squad, and like Joe Rogan. They have on Amy Polar. Huh? Jay Shetty. Who's Jay Shetty? Who's Jay Shetty? It's the same shit as this. Jay Shetty's on Nellock. Really? Yeah. Shetty. Shetty. Oh, Chetty. Chetty. Not Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty is different from Chetty. Jay Shetty was in the internet rotational. Yeah. He was. Nope. That's definitely not the guy. I mean, he's got beautiful eyes. That's a shadow medium. Yeah. Wow. Handsome fella. How was the rest of the 39 years? Oh, he's probably a billionaire. You know what something pops up last minute and you need an outfit that just works. That's when I go straight to revolve man feels curated, not chaotic. You're not drowning in 10,000 results or 50 pages of product. It is edited in a way that all makes sense. Everything is styled so you can see how it works. Not just a product on a white background, but an entire outfit. No endless growing. It's curated in a way that respects your time. It's not about one piece. It's about the full look and revolve man shows you what's going with what. So you're not guessing fast shipping easy returns. Everything from revolve man is fantastic. 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Quo is an official connector in Claude and chat GBT so you can just ask who called while I was out or text the crew were closed on Friday and it's handled. Quo writes up your calls and one click turns any of them into a task with a name and a due date so it actually gets done. In Quo every call text and voicemail lives in one thread so anyone on the team can jump in already knowing the story. Money is on the line always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com/boydead. That's qio.com/boydead. How was the rest of the invitational that the other episodes that have come out? Yeah, okay. I mean I'll just talk about the second episode obviously. Hate to spoil it for you if you haven't seen it and you hope to go at this point, you know, spoilers after this. Spoilers if you don't want to hear spoilers jump ahead. I am eliminated from the turn of it. What? So why have you been spending so much money? You promise? You're going to Argentina. It is so funny how people like really make assumptions and think that they're like, you know, he canceled all this tour dates. It's probably because he doesn't need the money. Is he won the internet invitation? He got new pants. Yeah. I'm just having a crisis of my life. Don't, don't assume. I mean, it's kind of like hard to either way. Like, it's not like you can be like giving off the vibe that you want either. No, I think every year people are going to assume I won because I buy dumb shit. Yeah. But like last year it wasn't like there was like this vibe about Francis that he won. No, I wouldn't have thought so. Yeah. Yeah. But in any case, we really, with the second, I mean, that after the episode two is the best episode so far of the two. And it ends with big John making a putt in the playoff hole. And the reason we got to the playoff was because Frankie and I tied Bobby Ray and John Groot and now I can't really say that in a positive way. That was a match. We should have won. We, I played it incredibly badly, incredibly badly. Frankie played exceptionally. Did not miss a shot. Yeah. And it was alt shot, which made it all the worse. Frankie hits a great shot. And then it's my turn to hit the next shot. And I would fuck his good work up. Yeah. And because he's a very good friend of mine, it just really fucked me up mentally that I was like ruining my friends' chances. One year after beating him in the final and ruining his chances then too. Yeah, I suppose you've robbed him twice. Yeah, I definitely somehow this felt even more directly like undoing of his chances. Was he pissed? No, Frankie was great about it. Yeah. He's a good guy. And we had played together in the morning and we had tied a match that we probably shouldn't have tied. Yeah. We tied against a much better team. And I played well in that match. But he played also played well. But he was unbelievable in the afternoon. And I was genuinely dreadful to the degree that like I had to warn friends of mine about this video because I was like, I just want you to know like this is not going to look good for him. Yeah. Yeah. Now I got very lucky where a couple of the holes that I was the worst on. They didn't include didn't get make didn't make the edit. That's because we tied those holes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So they didn't have a, you know, a swing meaning to the match. Yeah. But there's a hole. I think it's like 14. We're in the middle of the fairway. It's a par four. We're up a hole. We're up one. Right. And Frankie hit a perfect drive. I had like 135 140 yards in perfect number for me. I love that number. It's my pitching wedge. Of course. And Frankie. Frankie said something to me like we're up in our matches like so and so has done this like it's looking good for our team. And I was like, yeah. And then I had a cold shank with my pitching wedge. I mean, it's as if it my shaft hit the ball. Like no part of the fucking club itself. I mean, full blown - Where were you, man? - The causal rocket. Went direct, like if the hole's there, I went dead, right, almost behind where were you? - I had that, I hit a butt, I hit a buddy of mine when I was playing as a kid and he was lined up behind me. - Yeah, yeah. - And I drilled him. - That's what happened, yeah. - That's what happened. And I remember Frankie going, oh no. Like that's what he said. (laughing) But I heard it as if I was underwater. I remember feeling like I was drowning and I was letting, I was fucking up my friend's chances and we were not, I kept, dude, it was like the worst, it was the worst I've ever felt in sports. - Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's pretty intimate. Like one-on-one, you need both of you as to perform. - It just the pressure of all shot was so much higher than the pressure of a scramble, which is what we did in the morning. And I don't think people really expected us to, like people wouldn't have been disappointed in us if we had lost to that team, whereas it was expected of us that we would beat this too. - Yeah, they would be greeting us. - And we were up one and if we had just, we ended up like, Frankie had to go, we had to go find my shank. - Yeah. - Then he was like in a rut and had to like punch it out over the green and then I put one back out somehow because they were playing so badly too, we tied that hole. But if we'd won that hole, we would have been up two holes coming into 16. - Yeah, that would have gotten the flow too. You would have been flowing. - I think we would have just felt like we were where we would want to be. And we-- - And also they are starting to think like, fuck, we only got three holes now to catch 'em, you know? - Yeah. - I think that's more in the other team. - They've probably put on some of them. - On 16, Bobby Ray, who's the long drive drive guy with no sleeves, hits driver. He hits it 400 yards to the right, into a fairway on a hole like-- - Yeah, yeah. - Seven holes a prior. If he hadn't been in the fairway, I mean, you know, he was a miss. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's tough. - We, but then Grooton hit an amazing iron shot onto the green and I had been so scared to hit driver anything off the tee after that cold shank that I hit five iron off the tee. But it was like a 430 yard par four-- - You're changing your game now. - Which meant that Frankie had like 210 yards uphill into the win left. And it was a very tough position for him to be in. We ended up losing that hole, which means we come into 17 tied. And now the whole gallery is around us. This is the match, this is the swing match. All we needed to do was win. And we would have won. Our team would have advanced and the white team would not have. - Yeah. - But Dave's around and he's trying to get into Frankie's head. And I was lucky, in fact, that Dave had not seen my shank. They weren't there because if he'd seen that, he would have known the state that I was in. - Yeah. - And they would have prayed on me more. - Yeah, definitely. - But like he was going after Frankie. And Frankie hits a tee shot, it's a downhill par three. He hits a good shot. They put first, it's all downhill. Bobby Ray puts it. He puts it like six feet past the hole. So I saw how fast this putt was. And I was like, I don't want to put it that fast. I don't want to leave Frankie that much coming back. And I left it way too short. And it fell off to the right. - Oh. - Then Frankie had like an eight or nine footer with a lot of break to it that he flipped out on the low side of the hole. And then Gruden makes his putt. Now they're up one. - Oh. - Coming into 18. - Brutal. - Which means, fucking, we have to win this hole in order for the whole match is now swung. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It went from us being like we should probably easily win this match to. - You need to hit this a tie. - We have to win the hole. - To tie. - To bring this back to it. - To bring this back to over time. - Is it, you say it was a par three, 18? - 18 is a par four. - Oh, okay. - And a tough par four. - Yeah. - Bobby Ray steps up to hit a drive. Again, pulls it like 150 yards left. Ball is like gone. - That's got to feel good. - I stepped up, yeah, but at this point, I don't even know like where, what planet I was on. - Yeah, yeah. And somehow I hit like a dinky fade cut that is in the fairway. Is good, fine. - Yeah. - They find his ball. Gruden punches it up out to the left. They're like pin high, 30 yards off the green to the left. Frankie hits a good iron shot to the front of the green. But they have to go first. And then Bobby Ray, skull fucked one over the green. Into this like old cabbage. You couldn't even see the ball. I hit a putt to like five feet. They go, Gruden hits his ball out once again back over the green. Then Bobby Ray goes and finds it and realizes it wasn't even the ball they were playing. - I was literally gonna say when you said that, I was like, did you get an eye on them? 'Cause like when I played in high school, that was the biggest. - Yeah, Kisner. - No one ever lost a ball. - Kis found their ball, but he wouldn't have known that like it wasn't their ball 'cause he didn't know what they were playing. - Yeah. - And then Bobby Ray, to his credit, very honestly, was like this wasn't the ball we were playing. We, so they had to concede the whole. Now they would have had to. - You would have won anyway though. - At that point, we thought we were gonna win the whole. But we win the whole. So that pushes it back to Todd. We tire a match, then it goes to the overtime holes. First two guys that go out, tie. Did you watch any of this? - Not the second episode now. - I saw the end of, I mean, I saw the end of the episode every angle's clips. - Yeah. So our two best players go out against their two best players. Both guys who hit drives, hit it into a fairway bunker. But then Ryan Ruffles is the one hitting a fucking fairway bunker. - I'm a shot. - I'm beautiful out of the fairway bunker. - 140 yards uphill. - Oh. - You never any problem like clipping that. - Oh yeah. - Close. - That's Mike. - That's his bread and butter. - Literally golf shot. - That's Mike. - Yeah, it's just good. - You saw me hit one when we were in Florida. - Listen, I am not gonna doubt your golf ability whatsoever. You are much better than people think. Or even you think. - I'll take it. - I'll take that. - I'm always the one gassing you will win the whole. - That's good gas, I'll take it. I'm saying, I'll take it. - You are our whore vet. - He is, and the three of us, he's the whore vet. - Both guys, both guys punched it out. Luke Kwan ends up hitting our captain Peter Finch. It's a great chip. And then Luke Kwan has to sink a six footer to push it to a second playoff hole. So they go back and replay this hole again. And this time, we have to choose two different guys. They choose two different guys. Big John hits their drive. Once again, hits it into that same bunker. By the way, this is the key moment. Grand whore vet. - Whore vet steps up to the plate, scared. - Didn't want it. - I didn't want to do it. - I don't want it. - And either, it sounds horrifying. - I mean, I was definitely never going to come within 100 yards of that thing. But like whore vet's a plus three and a half. He was at least one of their top four players. And he was very, to me, very selfless in saying, you should not select me to do this for our team. I'm not there mentally. I don't like where my golf game is at. I don't have it. We have Fat Perez, who's an exceptional golfer, and has been playing with big John as partners. They've been dominating teams. Like let the two of them take on this second hole together. And we went with Roger Steele and Rick Sheels, both of whom were great. - Wait, wait, was anyone mad that that guy was like, I'm not doing it? Because I kind of feel like you got to. - It was impressive to see how much his team insisted to him that he was the guy. And how he said no. - I thought both forces were impressive. - Yeah, yeah. - Because if someone on our team had said that, I would've been like, he's dead, get him out of here. - Yeah, yeah. - He doesn't want it. He just admitted it. - Yeah. - Don't force him to go play. - No, but at the same time, I kind of feel like if you're a plus three, you kind of got to rise to the occasion. Like that's what you're there for. - Dude, you can't understand how hard it is. - No, I believe it. - There's something about knowing you're letting that many other people down. - Oh yeah. - That's where the pressure is. - That's where the sixth score on varsity really. - If it were like match came down to me, almost nine times out of 10. - Yes. - If it were just me playing individually against the field or whatever, and I let myself down, fine, so be it. I was fucking up the life of my friend Frank. - Yeah, yeah. - I won it last year, I'm playing without money. He's got, you know, a kid. - And he's got a family. - Probably knows the longer this tournament continues, the harder it's gonna be to win. - And get in. - Yeah. - I mean, he might not even be in it next year. (laughing) - It's just every, I'm standing in a cart and riding around with my good friend that I've spent so much time traveling the world and playing golf with and having a great time. We've had long, deep personal conversations and he's playing perfectly. - Yeah, yeah. - And then I'm being like, I see what you did there. Try to get us out of this one, Shank. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, you wanna send your kid to college? 'Cause it's gonna be the full purse by the time he gets there and say goodbye to that, my friend. Hope you like Long Island. - Yeah. - He's definitely going to community college. (laughing) - Enjoy Baruch. - Yeah. So Grant finally agrees, I guess, on the strength of his teammates pushing him forward. [BLANK_AUDIO] and Big John hits it in the bunker. Now Grant's in the nightmare scenario. He's in the fairway bunker, same fairway bunker, 140 yards. And by the way, our guy driver Roger Steel hit the biggest drive I've ever fucking seen in my life into the win, 330 yards uphill. It was bananas. Hit it over the fairway bunker that all these previous players had hit it. So we're in a very, at that point, you would have bet on our team winning this whole by a good margin. But Grant stepped up and clipped a 140 yard wedge to like 20 feet. Rick shields hits his to like 25 feet. Roger hits a great putt, drips it down to a gimme, which was like, we were like, okay, great. We're gonna go to another playoff hole. Yeah. Next thing, you know, Big John steps up and just like drips this putt. When he hit it, I was like, I don't think that's getting there. But if you watch it, it's like outside the hole, outside the hole, outside the hole. And it has so little pace on it that at the very end, it turns dead right and falls in. Damn. Even when I watch it now, I'm like, there's no way that's going in. Yeah, yeah. And they went nuts and it was like quite a moment. And you know, obviously disappointing for us, but it was so electric. Yeah, yeah. Like if you're going to lose, you want to lose that way. Yeah, definitely. Like miss a three footer to lose. No, they won. Yeah. We didn't lose. Yeah. And also, as badly as I played, I did step up on the 18th hole and hit a drive in the fairway. Yeah. And then hit a putt close to get us back to the playoff. Yeah. While my heart and soul were collapsing as if I was in a black hole. Yeah. We did enough. We helped bring us to that side of the fight, dethroned hell of a year, hell of a run. You had the crown. The banner was flying. The banner will fly forever, honestly. Well, what's fun is then I, you know, for the rest of the way, I just get to watch all of it. And that was really fun. Yeah, that's probably a blast, but I won't say anymore because I don't want to spoil anything. Damn. Great recap. Great recap. I'm actually gonna watch that shit. You didn't even see big John's putt. No. I don't even believe him. What? That I'm gonna watch it. You couldn't, you couldn't have been on the internet. Well, I guess you didn't have a phone. I didn't have a phone and not have seen his putt. It was on everything. The numbers are insane. Yeah. I know. LeBron tweeted about it. It's getting, they said that the first episode did better than the masters. That's not true. I think it's got 10 million views. Maybe day one of the masters putt. And then show it like, I wonder if you can see it from behind they have every angle. There's different clips for every angle. It's just crazy. I mean, he's such a good putter and that thing he plays with looks like an elf shoe. And then you know, rigs comes right up on his ass. There's great already has the drinking hands. I was really happy watching this back. They get rigged. Oh, there's Jay Shetty. I was so happy for Grant watching this back for having overcome his demons. And hit me again, it's been said, but it'll be lost because obviously John gets the credit for that moment. But Grant hit the harder shot for sure, in my opinion. If you know golf, you know that a 140 yard fairway bunker shot. I mean, the odds of putting it on the green. I guess if you're a plus three handicap, maybe it's higher, but I don't know. Yeah, I'm list timeless for big John, so happy for the brother, big John. Yeah. He's a good dude. And he's a fan of the pod. Hell yeah. Shout out big John. We should get him on. Definitely. Yeah. We should go out to wherever he is. Where's he from? No idea. Okay. He should come here then. Wouldn't hate playing 18 with him for sure. Honestly, get out there, smoke a split star with him. Get absolutely fried. Yeah. All right. Cool. Well. Well, Francis, however, run. Thanks. Make sure the update and on Thursday, we'll have another episode with Column Tarell from the Joe Rogan experience. All right. We will be back on Thursday, goodbye.