288. Physically losing your voice with Sally Pymer

Welcome to that Voice Podcast to arm your host Sally Prossa if you want to speak with style, sass and soul so you can love your voice and land your message. You're in the right place. Let's hit it. Hello, welcome to that Voice Podcast so many people take their voice for granted. And it's a big mission of this podcast to help you understand the value of your voice to take care of your voice and to use your beautiful voice because what if you lost the ability to speak and your voice changed forever? That's what our guest today Sally Pymar was faced with. A failed operation in an attempt to fix a breathing issue left her with no uvula. You'll learn what that is and the important role it plays in how you speak. I know it sounds like something else. Sally openly shares the challenges, how she taught herself to speak again, how she can't blow into a breathalyzer and how that's particularly funny because when she's tired she can sound drunk. I didn't think that's so hilarious. And Sally also reminds us of the power of a simple smile. Sally Pymar it's such a joy to have you on that voice podcast. How are you? I'm okay I'm going well Sally how are you? I'm feeling good. We've got some construction happening right across the road at the moment and I think they're putting in the pile driving for the car park and so every few minutes the whole building I'm in starts to shut up. So now take us through what happened to change the sound of your voice. So I was diagnosed with chronic lung disease when I was 19. It worked out that all these treatment options that we were trying weren't working. So it was discovered that I had quite large tonsils and a large uveola. So the last option really was let's take out your tonsils, let's take out your uveola, let's reshape your throat and see what happens. See if it makes a difference to my breathing. Well, something here to just let people know what the uveola is because it does sound a bit like another part of the female body doesn't it? So the uveola, it's the end part of the back of your tongue. So when you see cartoon scream and you see that little thing shaking in the back, that's the uveola. So if you open your mouth up in a mirror and you see that thing dangling in the back of your mouth, that's the uveola. That's what we're talking about. Very good to clarify that, definitely. You could be thinking somewhere else. So I got it removed and so obviously I do not quite 40 then. Quite significant to have your tonsils there. But what happened was when I woke up I couldn't speak properly. I sounded a bit like "deafy duck." Yeah, and I couldn't say like the grug word. A lot of people couldn't actually understand what I was saying. And I just thought, "Oh look, I'll have this out, I'll be fine, back to normal." Not having any idea about the consequences. And did the doctor explain to you what the implications of having your uveola taken out would be for your speech? Well, about the main thing that happened with the doctor said, "What might happen is, you know when you get drunk and you vomit." And sometimes a little bit come back, you know, "Well, that might be about the worst thing that happened." And I thought nothing over and I went, "Oh yeah, but I didn't actually realise that that is actually what will happen." So I'm at risk of choking. Like I can't borrow and a blow out of breathalyzer anymore. I can't blow up a bullet. Like I had no idea that that's what would happen. Yeah, just on that, I know you mentioned to me before about the situation with the breathalyzer, you were pulled over once and the cop was like, "Oh, can you blow into this? You're like, "Well, no, I actually can't." Yeah, and you think it would be an excuse. Like I'm like, "No, I physically can't." So there I am holding my nose, trying to blow into it so I could try and get some ready. But in the end, they just let me go. You'll be right. So the uveola, which we don't think about very much, is used to create quite a few sounds. So it closes down and allows the air to move into the nasal passage for our three nasal sounds and also, um, like anything ending in an NG. And then it also comes together with the back of the tongue for, "Kuh" and "Guh." So not having a uveola would have affected the way that you could enunciate all of those sounds. It did, definitely. And it was a number of weeks until I could actually get those sounds back. And during that time, I was quite scared. I thought, "You know, am I ever going to get my voice back? Am I ever going to be the same?" Because I just didn't know. I didn't know. And it was quite disheartening thinking, "This is the rest of my life. People are not going to be able to understand me." And at that time, I didn't have a job. I was going for a job interview. I thought, "Who's going to want to employ me?" Yeah, so that would have been so, so tough. So take us through how did you rebuild the strength or learn to speak again, essentially. Basically, I just practiced. It came back with time, but I just had to really concentrate. So even now, I have to mentally concentrate quite hard to get those sounds out. It isn't something that comes quite naturally. Also, when I get tired, the voices will go. So I actually have to protect it quite a bit too. I know, "Hey, I'm getting a little bit tired. Let's just talk when I need to and have a break." And when I run as well, I come back from a run and my husband will say, "Top probably!" And I'm talking probably. So it can be a little bit hard to understand sometimes when I get tired. It was suggested maybe I should see a speech therapist, but I never did. I just worked it out myself. Right. Yeah. So that's quite extraordinary. Also, our organs of speech, our jaw, and our lips, and our tongue, our softened, soft palate, which includes the uvula, they're all muscles. So it makes sense that you're really working overtime. Did you, when you say you practice, did you give yourself a particular set of exercises or a particular routine? There was no specific routine. I just practiced the groove and those sounds. I've got an uncle called Graham, so it was like I'm saying Graham, Graham, Graham, because I saw him quite a bit, it was like Uncle Graham, Graham. So there wasn't anything specific I did, and because I had no guidance on it either, I was pretty much left on my own. This is the way it is. It'll probably come that with time. Just work on it yourself. And also, it wasn't hiding. Like it was very risky to hide and not go out in public and not wanting to talk to people. But I purposely didn't do that because I just needed to get out there and practice as well. My husband's a farmer. I spent a lot of time by myself. So it actually reinforced my speaking in public. Yeah, that's so great, because it would have been so easy just to isolate yourself and think oh, this is too hard because of what people might say or think. Did you have any experiences where people, what sort of reactions were people? People sharing with you and they were hearing you speak. I know you mentioned to me once that you were like someone, "Oh, God, did you add too many lines?" Different people reacted differently. So the funniest thing probably was a lady that I'd seen heard me speak afterwards, and I found someone who had hearing loss. You know, they often talk a little bit different. And she said, "You haven't lost your hearing, have you?" I'm like, "No, it's as my voice." Which was quite funny. I did get a few laughs. You sound like Duffy Duck. And they actually were quite a lot of laughs. And I did hit deep sometimes because I thought, "You know, I don't know if I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life." But there were people who were quite empathetic as well. And when I went for a job interview, they were really kind and accepting and have a drink of water. We've got plenty of time. Yeah, different responses. And I think some just didn't know how to react either. What do we say? Say to Sally, we can't understand who. And in the end, I think they just said, "Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, whatever, just to prevent that awkwardness of not really understanding what I had to say." And that's a challenge as well, isn't it? To kind of feel like you know people have just given up on trying to understand, did you feel a sense of grief in a way, like grief for your old voice? Oh, totally. I did because I was a fitness instructor before that as well. So I could project my voice quite well. And I was used to being up the front of the stage, conducting classes, acro-robics. And then after that, I had left my job. But I can't project my voice as well as what I used to. So there's that loss of that. And sometimes trying to project my voice, I can get a little bit muffled. So there was the loss of that. But also, you know, the youth, I have to concentrate when I eat now. So I don't choke. And it didn't fix my chronic lung disease. So there we go. That was my next question. Did it improve things at all for you? No, no. So the stillness unknown. So I have that chronic lung disease there. I can breathe a little bit better. But my lung capacity has not increased at all. So there's that in my head too. Like if I didn't have this operation, I probably would have been better off. And I believe that they don't actually do that operation anymore. I think they've decided that they don't. So, but anyway, you've got to focus on what you can do. And I can't do anything about it now. So I can just add that to my story and keep doing what I do. And so that's one of the things I love about you. You're so positive. movement is all about bringing joy to people through the power of a smile. When did that come about? When did you decide to start sharing that message? Yeah, so I was doing a speaking course last year and I was developing my keynote and I wanted to talk about the comparisons between addiction, exercise addiction and drug addiction and all the stories I came up with, it all came back to a smile. A smile was the connector. It was the things that broke down barriers. It broke down stigma. It encouraged people to connect and to open up and to tell their stories and having worked in alcohol and drug and disability services and a range of other community organisations. I've just seen that power of a smile. I'm mental health and physical health and so many, so many different things and there's so many benefits to a smile with them making you feel good and being universal and they cost nothing and they're contagious. It just has this real benefit of changing the world, I think. Often we think we're powerless to change the world but a smile is one of those simple things that anybody can do that can really have a huge impact and that message I just like to get across to you know you can make someone else's day no matter who you are. Oh so good and you mentioned that it is universal so when we are in those situations where there might be a little bit of a language barrier or a hearing barrier or there's just a lot going on around and it can be difficult to connect. Yeah it's really quite powerful and I think it's globally understood as a signal of safety, warmth and acceptance so you know you're travelling somewhere where people don't speak the same language it breaks down those barriers and you feel safe straight away and you feel seen, you feel worthy and that you matter if someone smiles at you. You know people can feel quite invisible surrounded by people so you can pass many people in the street each day and no one acknowledge you but a smile is that simple message that takes only a couple of seconds to really show that you're not invisible you're actually seen and you deserve to be here. Oh so great and we want to be using the dishing smile is that right so it's the dishinged smile is the one that activates the eyes and so it's that genuine smile and I think the other one they call it the pen-m smile like the flight attendant smile although mum's a flight attendant and she always smiles very genuinely but the other smile is if you see someone smiling without moving their eyes like a fake smile. You can take a smile and still release the feel-good hormones but yeah the ones that crinkle your eyes they're the ones that you can't fake and they're really really quite powerful and you know I know I don't think people understand they reduce your blood pressure they improve your immunity they make you live longer they can make you appear younger. So what does this whole experience taught you about the role of your voice and the power of your voice in your life? Look I think you know everybody's got a voice they've got so much to share and you know when I come back to the smile and the stigma and connection there's so many people there with so much to say but they're scared they're scared of getting out of their comfort zone they're scared of sharing their voice and saying who they truly are but I think once you actually use your voice you say who you are what you believe in and what matters to you actually find a lot of other people will suddenly appear and go me too I feel the same and it is actually empowers other people to use their voice as well and you know all of us have got something that we're dealing with like I have no u-filler I have to concentrate when I talk so it's a matter of focusing on what you can do rather than what you can't do yeah absolutely and that's the reason that we're doing this episode today so thank you very much for coming on that voice podcast was there anything else you'd like to add? All I want to say is thank yourself and you know use your voice say what's important to you and smile at people you never know what the response could be what a beautiful way to end Sally Pima thank you so much for joining us on that voice podcast thanks self thanks for listening if resonated please share on your socials and tag us at that voice podcast on Instagram and for episode details hot off the drop straight to your inbox leave your email at thatvoyspodcast.com