Physical Exercise

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[Music] Hello, and welcome to the luxury podcast. My name's Jonathan Vernon Smith, and with me is William Hanson. This is the podcast that helps you live a more luxury life. Hello, Jonathan and I here to help you create the everyday moments of luxury that make life worth living whatever your budget. In each episode of the luxury podcast, William and I tackle an area of life that we think you should upgrade, sorting the arms, lows from the higher sense, advising the nation in gracious living. So William, what are we going to talk about today? We're going to talk about a topic that you and I are known for. This, I don't want to say the word synonymous. We're talking about physical exercise. Pee. Oh, yes. Is that what P stood for? No, wasn't it physical education? Now that it was physical education. Yes, I don't laugh at me. Thank you very much. I was right. Yes, sorry. Yeah. Pee. Pee. Today, Pee, we are, we're doing the luxury podcast. We're in nothing, but our white vest, our blue shorts, and our blimmed soles. I did consider, had I not been at a lunch before this? I did consider turning up in my LudoLemon. Yes, just, there was a fly buzzing around. I can hear that fly. Where is that flying? I've got a luxury Spanish spritz for it. Of course you do. I'm going to get the spritz. Forgive me, bucket heads. I'm going to get it. We'll be getting momentarily. I'm going to get it because should it come into my radar? I'm going to. There's behind me, John. Hang on, hang on. Let me get the spritz. Right. Well, it's, it's, it's, it's somewhere underneath the table. Insectida ocar. Ready? Oh my god. My, my, my, my, my mules. That will get it from Mercadona. Could you, could you just move it? Because it's looking, it's in, this is my eyeliner. Right. Yeah. There you go. Is that okay? Listen, it works in Spain. It'll work here. I noticed you've sprayed it at my end of the table. I'm not yours. Well, that's right. The fly was, it seemed to be hovering around you. I think you'll find it was just hovering above Betis Kong. You know what they said. Oh, oh, yes. Jonathan, it's there. Struggling to breathe. Are you, are you okay with it? Oh. It is beginning to die. I can feed it. It's, it's making the diagnosed. Right. Uh oh. Now it's down your end now. Ollie, you didn't value your lung. Did you? No, it's fine. Absolutely. Don't worry. It faces a slow and painful death. Anyway, we are broadcasting from a luxury fly-in-fested home. Who needs this at our luxury studio? Yeah. I think it's gone in my special water. Oh, it's all right. Yeah. Do you good? Okay. Yes. Fine. Well, I don't have any flies inside me. No. So back to PE. Did you have a PE bag when you were at school? Um, yes, I must have done. Yeah. I think it was like a draw string of number. A draw string? Yes. Did your mum make it for you? No. Oh. No, we had a school shop. Of course you did. Mine had a crest. Sadly, only on one side. But that's because I went to a minor public school. Not a proper public school. I see. Yeah. But you made sure the crest was always on view. Always facing it was. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. I think it was Navy. Oh, very smart Navy. I think I had my PE bag. I think it was made by my mother. Oh, out of what material? I'm not sure. Probably an old shirt. Oh. Something along those lines. Very talent. Is it still alive? It's still somehow still alive. How is it still alive? I don't know how many more. Is there any left in that can? Not this plenty more. Oh no, it's... Donaldson, I think there's two. It's here. There. It's dying. It's dying. Kill it. It's up there. It's okay. It's having a spasm. Right. I've stabbed it. The beginning of this episode, that has been solely about killing a fly. But can I just say, thank God, because I've got absolute... We should thank, or potentially, scold my friend, Declan, who suggested this. This was his idea. So, bucket heads, if this is a particularly bad episode, it's Declan's fault. I don't think it's going to be bad. No, because I think this is one of those things, you and I, had we gone to the same school. We would have been kindred spirits when it came to pee. I rarely went. Okay. I used to bunk off. I don't know if you have that expression at public school. But I used to bunk off with my friend, Doug. I used to jack off with my friend, Sam, but that's... That unfolds flies as well, but anyway, that's... Well, Doug and I, we used to, whenever it was pee, Doug and I used to scale the school gate. Oh my gosh, I called it. Yeah, we would scale the school gate, and we would run to my house, sit in my garage on two garden chairs, and we'd smoke a pipe. And you were what, seven? No, we would have been about 13, 14. You'd just smoke a pipe. Yeah, we both used to sit in the garage. It's really the opposite of what pee was meant to be about. That's right, yeah. And we thought that no one knew, but actually, when we left school, a number of the teachers said it was one of the highlights of their week, watching the tour of us clamber over the gates, knowing that we were doing a runner, because it was pee. I do think if I were a member of staff at a school, you can't make everyone do, but like some people hate it. Well, let's start with the change in rooms. I mean, I can still remember that smell now of the change in rooms. Made you the man you are. Oh, that smell of deep heat mixed with links Africa and 13-year-old body odor. I mean, if ever there was a smell that was going to put your physical education, that was it. I don't think I ever, if you've even got that far. Oh, really? No. You never changed into your kit. Very rarely. I mean, I was off more times than I was on. So did you pull a sickie? I throw myself down the stairs. I mean, I wouldn't. I would give the appearance that I had thrown myself down the stairs. Right. That I would get to. And actually, we shouldn't. There maybe is a difference between pee and sport at school. So all the time I rugby or football or netball, whatever the girls did. Why did you play those? No, no, no. But I would. So in Woolestons, which was my first house, it wasn't a boarding house. It was a day house. Of course it was. We would walk as you'd have to go downstairs into the changing rooms. And Mrs. Gange Harris, the patron, would be standing, watching the boys get dressed. I don't think you could do that. She was a Gange. She was a Harris. Suddenly, my hyphenated. But she'd stand there watching, not in a perverted way. But in just, you know, checking everyone's not, you know, beating each other up and all that, you know, shenanigans. And I would always walk behind Mrs. Gange Harris, get to the second to last stair and then throw myself forward onto the floor and pretend that falling down the stairs. Wow. And then Mrs. Gange Harris would go through the rich of, "Oh, William, I'll be like, "Oh, my angle, my angle." And she'd write me off an off-games notice. Oh, that's very good. So I'd be off-games. And I, finally, that staircase proved rather useful, right? Yes, it was like a scene from Death Becomes Up. No, so the time I just threw myself down it. Yeah. And did they have a cotton on to your little technique? I, looking back, I thought I was pulling the wool over Mrs. Gange Harris's eyes and doing quite a good job. Grade five lambda, of course, don't forget. Of course, yeah. London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art for those who don't know what it is. And I think Mrs. Gange Harris knew full well what was going on, but she liked me. And I was a nice pupil, so she went along with it. I quickly worked out at school that the best way to get out of PE was to irritate the PE teacher. Okay, so when they would make me play football or rugby, which I think was only maybe once of each game, what I would do is I would run around and I would be chasing the other boys, trying to distract them and deliberately running away from the ball. And the PE teacher, he was quite a brute. He tried, he made me do laps of the field, he made me lie in the mud. Oh, but I just, I irritated him so much that when I then bumped off my PE lessons, I think he was secretly delighted that he didn't have to put up with me. Yeah, true. That's a good idea. Yeah, yeah. But I wonder if there are, there must be children today who have the same loathing of any physical education. Yeah, as we do. Well, and I was talking to a friend about this yesterday, actually, with sport at school, and I didn't know if it's changed. I mean, this friend went to school 10 years below me, actually, at the same school and it certainly hadn't changed in 10 years. But I didn't grow up in a sporty household. My father was not interested in sport, we didn't watch sport. See, I did. My father loved sport. But did you, were you, I sort of, process of growing up in that sort of household, did you know how the game worked or not? No, I would deliberately not learn the rules. Yes. Because the, the sound of sport, the only sound of sport that I will tolerate is tennis, Wimbledon. Wimbledon, I quite like that, boom, boom, of the ball. I quite like that. What does it do? It's not, boom, boom. But the sound of football makes me physically angry. I get very angry if I hear the sound of football. Yeah. And I used to hate going to family dues and they put the football on. It's so common. And they'd all sit round, making kind of manly noises. Because they don't have any conversation. Oh, it was just awful. They have nothing worth saying. Yeah. So, no, but unfortunately I was, yeah, I was a huge disappointment to my father because my father loved his sport. And did your brother squash cricket? Well, I would say of all the sports, golf, squash and cricket, are the slightly more civilized sports. Not squash. No, a man died while playing my father. God rest his soul. Should we have a minute silence for him and the fly? Yeah. No, yeah. Because it's very physical. Yeah, but yeah, but I still have. Frazier and Niles play squash, don't they? And there's an element of, I think it's, unlike rugby or football football in particular, which is a bit brutish. Yeah, golf, squash, cricket, tennis as well, much more civilized. I still don't want to do it. No, but if I absolutely had to pick one of the sports to do, that would be. I think we'd be quite good at a golf club. Yes. Because we could do it a nice little round. Yeah, hit the bar. The 19th hole. The 19th hole. Hit the bar. We'd love the bar. Yes, we would love the bar. I did do golf club at school on a Monday. You did golf club? Yes, we had to do a club on a Monday, and I did golf. And I toyed with golf half a term. But our golf teacher, the teacher that was in charge, who was a golfer himself, we worked him out quite quickly. Because if it was a sunny day, he cancelled the activity. So we could just go home. If it was a rainy day, the activity went ahead. And it was because obviously if it was an ice day, he wanted to go and play proper golf himself. Of course he did. If it was a rainy day, he didn't want to, but he'd stand under an umbrella and watch us play golf. Did you ever get a hole in one? Back to my friend Sam. I was in the rough, yes. What he couldn't do with his 9-9. They just keep going. Yes, so you did golf club? I did golf club for a bit. It wasn't great. Did you play off the ladies' tee? Haven't gone near a ladies' anything. What does that even mean? Well, the ladies have a tee, a bit closer to the hole. A lot with scones. No, no, no, you know the tee where you put your ball. Yeah. This must be like listening to BT sports. So you know you have the tee. Yeah, the little thing that sticks out the ground. It's like a little stool for you. That's right, you put your ball on that. Well, there's a man's tee and there's a lady's tee that's closer to the hole because they can't hit us far. Really? Yes! Oh, I didn't know. No. Okay. No, I don't know what tee I played off. You don't know what tee you played off? No. Right. I can't really remember it. I hated it. Did you? Oh, so we won't be joining a golf club then? Not for the golf. No. For the social aspect, that would be absolutely fine. Okay. But then do you really want to pay all those green fees and all that? No. Let's just go to a bar. Exactly. Just go to the golf. Go to the golf. Cochantrum pits. Go to the Cochantrum pits. Exactly. But no, we're going back to school sport. If you shouldn't assume, and I think a lot of sports teachers and PE teachers assume that everybody knows how to play rugby, football cricket, whatever the sport is, I probably, I mean, I'm never going to find this out now, but if they had sat me down in a classroom with a whiteboard and gone right, this is this, this is what this position does, that is what this do. If you're in this, you do that. And explained it to me, I think I would have stood a slightly better chance, but the approach of teaching sport in schools still seems to be just chuck them on the field and hope for the best, and that they'll sort of just know what you do. And when you're teaching any subject, that's ridiculous. We don't do that with driving, so why should we do it with sport? Just tell everyone what we do. It's a good point. Yes. And when no one ever told me the rules, but I'm not sure whether that's just because I deliberately didn't listen, because I had no interest. Because if someone starts talking about sport, I just tune out, not interested at all. No. I don't like doing anything that makes me break out in a sweat. Call me old-fashioned, but there you have it. No, exactly. So do you, let's sort of exercise now? Oh, right, yes. Well, I know the answer to this, but tell the bucket heads what your exercise is now. The stuff you can talk about. So my only exercise now is walking. Yes. Dog walking. Thank goodness I have a dog, because if I do, I, well, I have two dogs. No, yes I do. Okay. If I didn't, I'd be the size of Rick Waller. I'd be here in a reinforced house. Literally, that's the only thing that gets me out. Yeah. Exercising. Normally, I end up at a pub. Is that still exercise? What? If you walk to a pub. Well, your pub is relatively close. Where you have coupler pints and a packet of knobies. Does that still constitute exercise? It's a miracle you're as slim as you are, to be honest. I know. Yeah, I know. And how long is your dog walk normally? So normally about an hour. That's a decent walk. Used to be more, but Poppy can't do any more. She gets a limp. She looks like a hair flick. One for the older bucket heads, from our lower low. Yeah. He was in Zakastapur and he had a limp. But yeah, so if I walk her too far, she gets a little bit limp. But surely Betty is wanting to go on further. No, so Betty is a puppy and you can't walk puppies very far. Don't you know anything about dogs for no sake? Sorry. William was delighted today that he didn't get savaged by Betty. No, I did not get this one. Did you notice a change in her? Yes, she's much calmer temperament. She's calmer. Yes, she's. Yes, I've put a lot of work into her since you were last year, William. There was a time, I seem to recall, about just probably pre-COVID, where you were going to a gym in the afternoon after work. Before COVID. I'm sure it was before COVID. No, we've gone back a long time. I've never gone to a gym since I've lived in this house ever. Oh, really? No. How was it that long ago? But you did go to gyms because you watched things on treadmills. Yeah, yeah. No, I did used to try and keep fit. OK. No, I just gave up. It's only so much you can do. Yeah, yeah. So I did, no, I did always used to go to the gym after work. Did you enjoy it? No, hated it. How long would you do? I'm in about an hour. OK. I go and watch a deal or no deal on the treadmill. That is going back a while. And then I'd go home. OK. But yeah, I just, the gym is very boring. I struggle all my time. I struggle all my time. Terrible grunting noises. Yes, especially with the weights. I always remember our mutual friend, Tom Lovico, saying, if you have to make a noise to put it down, the weights too heavy for your love, don't pick it up. And I always go through my head when all these managers are going, and it is generally men. Women seem to pick up. You go to the gym, don't you? Thanks for noticing. I, um, yeah, I've got my personal trainer, Jack it up, Joel, who I have on a Thursday. Of course you do. Yeah, I previously had pump it up, Pete, but pump it up, Pete got picked off because he was a flat earther. And he also made me cry. So he was a flat earther who made you cry? How did you make you cry? They were separate. We were doing the leg press once. And he went, I was terrible. I was just, you know, that thing you pushed your legs against. Yeah, yeah. And it was sort of, you know, I don't really, when I'm doing those sort of weights, I don't really want to talk. And mid leg press, he suddenly went to me. So where do you stand on climate change? I was like, this is a pivot. I was like, um, well, I believe in it is what I said. I'm doing all this. And he went, can I ask why? Oh, no. And that opened up kind of worms. And then I sort of lost a bit of respect for him. And then I was going off to do the sex deter. So I had said to him, I'm going to be pausing because I'm off, I'm off for a month. So I won't be in on Fridays. So can we, can we, you know, reconvene? And he seemed okay with it. And then I sort of, we finished the tour. And I remember thinking, do you know what? I think I know what I'm doing now. I don't really like him either. So I'm going to, I text him saying, oh, I'm back. But I'll, um, I'm just going to give it a go on my own and my schedule is a bit all over the shop at the moment. Yeah. So I went, I remember going in. Prussia, a climate change denial weirdo here. Quite walked in. And he was with another client. And bear in mind that when we had been training together and other clients walked past him, he'd often break away and have an entire chat with them, which I didn't really mind, because I'd be doing my exercise at that point. And that was good. Yeah. And I live, she just walked past him, touched him on the elbow. And it's just to say, hello. And he just looked at me and then carried on. Didn't even say hello. And then I went this going to the machine I was going on and sitting there almost crying. What? Because conspiracy theorist pump it up, Pete. Didn't talk to you. Yeah, William. But you are a sensitive soul. I'm hoping I can get away with saying this. Jack it up Joel. I should just say pump it up Pete and jack it up Joel and not their actual names. He did say to me the other day that he listens to Joe Rogan's podcast and I went, oh god, here we go. Oh no. History's repeating itself. Well, the trouble is with a lot of people who pump it up. They're absolute thickheads. They exercise their muscles, but not the one that matters. Can you say that? You just have. Yeah. If only they spent more time reading. Yes, yeah. Yeah, reading the right thing. Yeah, not telegram. I didn't know what telegram was. You've only just recently learned. You told me in the car. It's where Vladimir Putin hangs out apparently. Is that right? I'm not sure he's personally on it. All right. I believe it is a Russian app. All right, you're okay. Yeah. So back to Pete. What do you think is the most luxury way to stay fit? Oh, well, that's a good one. I do think having a personal trainer is I've benefited because it gives me structure and it's given me, well, I've got to be there at 9 30 on the Thursday. That's my session. I've got to, I've got to go through. I am looking forward to the week that I move home because I've already told them I'm not coming in that week and just having a break. Yeah. But I would say PT can be quite luxury. Oh, yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. And I would also say having a PT is a luxury because it's not one of life's essentials, sadly. No, no, but I think having a PT comes your home to train you in your home gym is the height of luxury? Or if you don't have a home gym in your garden or your park near by park, that is quite a swish? Yes. And I think if they have an attire that says personal trainer on the back of their t-shirt, so everyone knows who they are. Yes. I think that really says to the Barker Finches down the road, I'm a little bit better than you. Yes. Exactly. Especially if your personal trainer's hot as well. You've always got to have a hot one. Yeah. Don't have a fat man. Because there are no, but there are some personal trainers aren't there who are, you look at them and you think, you need your own personal trainer. And a diet dish. Yes. You sort of want a personal trainer who it might look like you're having an affair with. Oh, I think people might think, oh, are they having an affair? I should just say jack it up, Joel. I'm going to say you and jack it up, Joel. We're not jacking. Nothing going on there. There's absolutely nothing going on there. You're not jacking up, Joel. No. No. There's always time. Yeah. It's only been six sessions so far. He's jacked up, Joel, handsome. I think he's handsome. I don't, I wouldn't say he's buff. He's not buff. He's very toned. But also I don't want to put, you know, you see some personal trainers and they're massive and they're stacked. I don't want that because I don't want to look like that. I think you've got to pick a personal trainer that you sort of aspire to look a little bit like. Oh. Like you can do that. So describe jack it up, Joel. Dark. It's got dark hair. Right. So already very similar to me. Just petite, but in a toned way. Pateed. Well, he's not, he's not broad. Do you mean lean? Lean. That's a bit lean. He's a vegan. I discovered the other day. Is he? Yes. Well, that's even more impressive that you look like that on a vegan diet. Right. Well, there we go. He's got a slight beard. So you want to look kind of lean and veiny. Is he veiny? Not that veiny, no. But people that I don't, I don't see him work out. And I would imagine your veins pop when you, when you work out. Do yours? No. No, and I also, I give up. I just tell him I can't be bothered. Oh, I'm particularly bad on my shoulders. I've not got since my weight loss journey. I have less strength for my shoulders. And I am told shoulders are actually one of generally most people's weaker part of their body anyway. So when I'm going to do overhead stuff, I can do the first set. Yeah. And then you get all shaky. And then I have my rest for 45 seconds or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And then I can't do it again. And then I, he's like, push through, push through. And I was like, no, no, no, I'm not. I can probably just about do the second set. So don't you even try? I do, but I genuinely can't do it. And I'm like, I'm not pushing through. And I am in the day I'm paying you. So it's my decision. Oh, you are, you are something else, aren't you? Well, no, because I generally think I'm going to drop these weights on my head. Yeah, but you need a personal trainer to treat you more like a bitch. [Laughing] No. No. I give the orders. Oh. Yeah, he's my bitch. Oh, right. No, you want a personal trainer who says, come on, you fatty. Move it. Steve Miller. Lift it. Steve Miller. Steve Miller for the personal trainer. Yeah. He'd be a great personal trainer. No, you want one of those gladiators. Now I tell them I just stick it. Would you? Is that the thing? Yeah. I better get that. We'll be back in a moment. Why does it every recipe I try need 18 ingredients, including a jar of something paste I'll never use again, but we'll sit my fridge for nine months. I just want dinner in the oven. Fast. That's why I love Blue Aprons new one-pan assemble and bake meals. They send you fresh ingredients that are already chopped. All you do is put it all together and bake. That's it. No chopping, no weird leftovers. Just delicious, easy to make meals. Get 20% off your first two orders with code apron20, terms and conditions apply. Visit blueapron.com/terms for more. From building timelines to assigning the right people, and even spotting risks across dozens of projects, Monday Sidekick knows your business, thinks ahead and takes action. One click on the star and consider it done. Try Monday Sidekick, AI you'll love to use on Monday.com. Fast tracking your way to being debt free. If you qualify for debt relief, you may be able to pay back significantly less than what you owe and save thousands of dollars. Imagine only paying one low monthly program payment you can afford, and saving money as you become debt free. National debt relief has already helped bring debt relief to over 550,000 U.S. consumers, earning thousands of five star reviews and an A+ rating with the Better Business Bureau. You're stronger than your credit card debt. Take the first step and visit nationaldebtrelief.com to see what debt relief you qualify for. That's nationaldebtrelief.com. Welcome back, Bucketheads. We've been discussing physical exercise. And now it's time for your questions. So let's check out our heaving bags of post. Remember, if there's something on your mind that needs a luxury touch, [email protected] is the place for your queries and your questions? We should just say before we go on to queries and questions, we've got some upcoming episodes that we're going to do at certain stages. Not necessarily in this order. Lovely. So I'll put it, we'll give the themes. And if our bucket heads have any specific questions, queries, anecdotes they'd like to share, please send them in to that email. We get a lot of queries. Walls, all the queries. Sunday roasts of the eating version. Unrelated flatmates. Horus goat. What's it like? What's it like? What's it like to go on podcast? This is the gubbing. And school days. Of those of you still listening, where we've got to the end of that line, you deserve a medal. Yes, lovely. Right. Here's this first one from Liam. Liam sounds like someone who go to a gym. Yeah, me ahead. Dear William and Jonathan, I agree to join a fun outdoor boot camp with some friends. There you go, told you. On the first morning, I turned up in what I thought was perfectly fine exercise at here. At here. At tie. Perfectly fine exercise at tie. Lose track suit bottoms and old hoodie and my trusty trainers. Everyone else, however, was kitted out in matching neon, light-craw-wireless earpods and those sleek bottles that looked like props or a sci-fi film. Jonathan's favorite. Jonathan, I understand your stance on water bottles much more now. Exactly. There you go. The instructor gave me a look as though I'd wandered in from 1998 and I spent the entire hour wondering whether my outfit was actually affecting my burpee technique. Should I upgrade my wardrobe or hold my ground? I know comfort over style isn't very luxury, but I'm hoping you can see my reasoning best regards. Liam, while I would say Liam, you don't want to look like you've put in too much effort, so I'm sort of, I would say, you probably an old hoodie. A bit bit hot for exercising, I would say. Maybe we're at two and from the gym, but certainly when I exercise, I get a bit warm. So I probably wouldn't want to wear a hoodie. No. You do want to wear some sort of t-shirt material. And probably this is the only acceptable occasion where you can wear manmade fiber. It just depends if you want to look attractive while you're exercising, put some effort in. Yeah. If you want to look attractive after you've exercised, then don't bother. Yes. True. You know? Yeah. If you want to go for a run and you want people to glance at you out of their car and think, "Oh, how do I have you?" Or whatever. Then put some effort in. Yeah. Otherwise, you know, we're an old bimbae. Who cares? When you went into the gym, what did you wear? My B-Kit from school. You still fit into it. No, because you were smaller. Yeah. No, I wore, um, what did I wear? Normally, a friggly on a t-shirt. Have a day off. And, um, shorts. No, I look like Mr Bean to be honest, right? Actually, I don't, I didn't go for the attractive look. No, no, no. You see, I work, I think it's quite cheap to work out in, I have a white or black top, syntheticy, which is actually, it's a large, even though I'm not a large, but it's a large, it's from the old days. And, uh, grey shorts. Right. Lined. Lined. Yes, I don't need to wear them, you know. What? You have a knitting. Well, it's not a knitting, it's a lining. Well, so you don't wear pants? No. Oh, well, I am. No, because I'm lined. But aren't you flopping about all over the place? No, because they're quite supportive. Oh, are they? Yeah. I don't know what line it is. All I know is that knitting you get in swimming trunks. No, it's not like that. No, there's no, there's no hole. Well, yeah, so I would say, you don't want to turn up in neon, so I would say, like, I would agree, anything bright coloured is a bit weird. Yes. Yeah. You don't look like Mr. Motivator, do you? No, we're living a Newton John. No, right. But, something. James Morton has been in touch. What a nice name. Dear William and Jonathan, your podcast is my guilty pleasure. Don't feel guilty about it. On the train to work. Although, admittedly, it is hard to look dignified when I'm laughing into my scarf. Butch. I recently joined a gym for the first time, but I'm baffled by all the unspoken rules. Where to stand? How long you can use a machine? Whether it's acceptable to wipe your brow with the fluffy white towels they provide. Do you have any tips for exercising without committing a terrible faux pas? James Morton in York. Oh, James, well. Yeah, I would say, so one thing I have managed, I always was to worry about gyms, is that people would be looking at you and what you're doing. They really aren't, actually. Or some are. I don't think they are. When they're actually doing the exercise, I don't think they're looking at you. Because actually, when I'm doing exercise, and I even attempt to look at someone else for whatever reason, I then can't do my exercise because I've lost focus. So, I think, once someone's actually in the exercise, and if they're walking past you, they might look at you very briefly, but you might not see that person ever again, so it doesn't matter. I would say just have some fun at the gym, so I used to love trying to boot the big boys off the machine. So, if there was one of the big chaps using a machine, I would go up and say, "Have you got many more sets to do here?" And they would just be a little bit perplexed, a little bit confused. I also like to use the machines for ladies. Oh, the amputator with your eggs. Yes, I love it. The machine for your, I think it's for your pelvic floor. The abductor or the abductor. There's one that goes out where you push out or where you push together. So, I used to love if the gym was quite busy, and if I was waiting for machines, I would love to go over to that machine and use it, and then make some quite vigorous noises, so that people would look and think, "What's he doing on that?" You were not a noisy gym guy, were you? On that machine, always. Yeah, because if you're going to use a machine for comic effect, you want people to look at you, don't you? So, I used to love using that. Okay. Yeah. So, I would say, don't worry too much about the rules. Just have some fun. Yeah, I mean, don't take it too seriously, as with anything in life. Oh, no. Because people do take the gym very seriously, don't they? Oh, so seriously. I would also say, you definitely wipe down the machine afterwards. Oh, yes. I also wipe it down first. I used to take my own bottle of Spritz. Of course you did. So, I give it a little Spritz. Which you're being country to that kind of room. And then a bath with a microfiber. You take your own microfiber? Yes, bacterial. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You've got to keep it clean. You don't want to pick up a fungus. No, but I just use the paper towel from the dispenser. Did you? Yeah. With a Spritz. Right. The Spritz, they provide you with the gym. Oh, no, I took my own Spritz. Maybe I should take my own Spritz. Take your own Spritz. I'll Spritz down, drag it up, Joel. That'll teach him to listen to Joe Rogan. Do people look at you in the gym? Because obviously, you know, you're a big deal. I'm not, but thank you. Well, you are a big deal. You know, you're Mr. TikTok. You're Mr. TikTok. Right, okay, if you say so. Your Mr. Instagram. So, do you find people are trying to take little videos of you on the machine? I would hope not, in my gym, because it's a strict now photography policy. Oh, okay. But there are even icons on the mirrors to say no photos. Oh, right. It's very exclusive, Jim. It sounds very hard, yes. Um, no. I mean, I have noticed a couple of people walk past and do a double take, but I think it's more a double take to go, he's exercising. Not, oh, it's him. It's more to go. Doesn't he look silly? Doesn't he look camp? Would you definitely must go and use that, that leg machine? Yeah, yeah. No, I love it. When you've got a crowd going, go and give them, go and give them the show. Do you know what, I'm checking up, Joel, did, to me, the first session that we had? He, we were doing the assisted stretching at the end. Sorry. Assisted stretching? What, what does that involve? He was assisting stretching. Do you pay extra for that? No, well, I should have done. But no, we're, say like, you know, he's, you need like a pat assisted stretching for those that know what they're talking about. It's actually much better at stretching because you actually go, you know, wider or broader, or whatever. But he was like, okay, now, we're actually letting, we're like, and he literally put his hands around my neck. I'm not going to round, like arms around my neck. I said, what are you doing here? And then cracked my neck. Without warning. And I said to him, don't do that again. Oh, I hated it. He was saying, yeah, some people don't like it. I, I don't like it. I really want that. Do we want to go and see jack it up, Joel? No. So my osteopath, who, um, he's, he's very executive, actually. And, um, I saw him at Pastor Chivo fairly recently. And I said, I must come and see you. I do want you to crack my neck. I do. Can I finish my carbonara first? I really want my neck cracked, but I gather it's terrifying. Yes, it was bloody terrifying, especially when you don't know what he's about to do and you're already thinking, yeah, but that's better, isn't it? But don't you feel when you have your neck cracked that they're going to paralyze you? Um, no, no. I mean, well, yes, because it's not a natural thing. He's, he's neck, no, he's only done it once. And I just, I just hated it. And I thought, I think you're going to rip my head off. Oh, right. That's quite, so he didn't, because normally you didn't ask. You have to ask permission to do the consent. It can be quite dangerous. Yes, if you do it wrong, you can leave someone paralyzed. Yeah, well, that's the thing. And I'm quite tense anyway. So I don't think I was fully relaxed. That's why he felt you needed it. So did you, after us, did you feel all lovely? No. Oh, no, I was like, what the... I was like, I was like, I was like, thank you. It was literally right at the end of the session. Right. I remember going into the showers thinking, oh, never again. Wow, did you feel violated? A little, but he's learned his lesson now. Right. And we actually get on quite well. Okay. Should we do this one from Sophie? Yes, go on. Dear William and Jonathan, I've taken up yoga and while I enjoy it, I keep ending up on a mat directly in front of a man that breathes like a steam engine. It's completely ruining my sense of zen. Can I ask to be moved? Or is that somehow against the spirit of the thing, all the best, Sophie? No, you asked to be moved. Yeah. I mean, I don't know how yoga or classes, I'm yet to venture into the class space, although producer Oli on the train here, God bless him, sent to me with no sense of irony, have I ever done one rebel? One what? One rebel. What's that? It's some sort of, you know, fitness, but Oli, what is it? It's a special... Hang on a minute. Can we just point out... We have to produce an Oli special microphone. Producer Oli has come with his own microphone today, which I can't help but notice is a considerably more expensive microphone than the microphones we are broadcasting on. It is bigger, definitely. Size queen. He's rocked up like Howard Stern. Something quite true, isn't it? Yeah, something very general. Something very general. It's a very intense exercise class, where you have your own special treadmill with different speeds on it, and you're getting bullied into going faster and faster, but it also has parachute mode, which makes you feel like you're dragging a parachute behind you, so you move your legs and then the treadmill speeds up, and then when you're really tired from that, they then move you onto the bench or one rebel to do weights and stuff like that. Oh, man. This is like CrossFit. I think probably, I've never done CrossFit. But God bless Oli. That's why he in all seriousness said to me, have I ever done one rebel? I've attached quite a factor that he thought that I was even... It's the same as Barry's. Do you know what Barry's bootcamp is? Barry's bootcamp. Yes, where someone presumably called Barry. I don't think Barry from EastEnders, but somebody shouts at you. If anything, I think not Barry from EastEnders, just shouts at you. He does karaoke, doesn't he? Yes, he does, doesn't he? Yeah, I've been to one of these karaoke's. Maybe it's Barry from Watford. If it's not Barry from EastEnders. Watford. Oh, by the way, Edward's been in touch, William. Oh, hello, Edward. Dear William and Jonathan, I hope this finds you both well. Thank you for your wonderful advice, which I have taken to peppering throughout my days. After years of inactivity, I've started doing a morning workout at home. The problem is my downstairs neighbour bangs on the ceiling every time. I so much has picked up my skipping rope. Is there a tactful way I can keep fit without causing an international incident in our building? Kind regards, Edward Whitby. I would say if you live in a shared apartment or where there are different flats and you've got people upstairs downstairs. Don't do it in your house. You've got to be, I'm sorry. No, it's not your house. Go out. Actually, we had a neighbour previously, who during COVID, when admittedly you couldn't go to gyms were closed, started to work out in their bedroom. And it made the floorboards go creaky, which to this day. And so, Mikey, I was luckily working in a mom at the time. So I was away for six weeks. I had to get Mikey to take them to one side and say it's really noisy. And they were very lovely about it and didn't realise and set all the right things. But how can you not realise? I don't mean to root, be rude. But if you're jumping around on the floor, being physical, how can you not think that people below would kind of notice? Well, I mean, during the day, I guess it's less of an issue. And it wasn't the fact it was just affecting the floorboard. And before you actually fall through the ceiling, just nip it in the butt. So I'm sorry, Edward, but I don't think you can. No, let yourself go, Edward. Treat yourself and let yourself go. Find an outside space or do that. Yeah. Get a dog. Yeah. Well, I don't know about you, but I'm spent. I'm exhausted. I feel like we've done our own workout during this episode. This has been an episode of Question of Sport. We'll leave it there, shall we, William? We shall. We'll, of course, be back tomorrow for another one of our luxury bonuses. And I think it's going to be a good one, don't you? I can feel it. And you couldn't look out for his next Wednesday for our main episode as well. But until then, goodbye! Say hello to Mia. Hey there. Mia runs a pet grooming service in Chicago, but getting new clients was rough. Until I started using Acast, I recorded my ad, targeted pet owners in the area, and let Acast do the rest. Now people all over the city know about my grooming services. Mia's business is looking sharp. What's your secret for happy pets and happy clients? A fresh cut, a friendly vibe, and a well-placed podcast ad. Get the word out about your business through Acast. Visit go.acast.com/advertised to get started.