261: Phony People Ft. Ron Funches

How did you have a good retrograde to retrograde to treat you? Okay. It actually did. Oh, I know rare You're not a Pisces. Are you I am? When's your birthday much 12 mine's March 4th. Okay happy. How did you have a good retrograde? I don't know Because Mercury and Pisces are like it's the worst. It's But in heads, but none makes sense. I mean, I'm not saying there weren't frustrations. They've been frustrated That's a few. Yeah, always. Oh, that's life. Yeah life is chaos truly. Oh, I'm so excited to have you today I like how you have blankets. You get cozy. I will make yourself a home kick your feet up or don't whatever you want to do Okay, we aim to please here at two hot takes. Oh, I love that I am so excited to have you today. Welcome back to another episode of two hot takes you guys I'm your host Morgan, and I've got Ron Funches here. I'm pumped. So I was a little unfamiliar with your game Okay, and then I went and saw little Miss Amy Polar live Here in LA, and who was her opening guest? You that sounds right and I was like I love his vibe Thank you. You just have such an aura of like Happy calm nice fun, and it's been really really crazy watching your journey lately You went on traders had a hell of a time and then I got really in your standup and you have like You drop these little nuggets of information on your standup, and now I'm like really scared of koalas I just like didn't know basically all of them have chlamydia. Yeah, especially in captivity Why aren't they giving them like I can't they give them a Z-pack or something? I don't know What's up, and it's like most old folks homes Literally because they don't use condoms. I talk about this all the time. Oh, should they No risk of pregnancy What menopause? No, just crazy, but for my listeners who are also unfamiliar with your game Who's Ron? Who's Ron? What's up? Ron's a dad mostly. He's a dad of two boys One who's 23 and one who's about to be four My oldest is on the autism spectrum. I found out recently. So am I I've been a standup comedian for about 20 years in October I do a lot of acting and voice acting. I would say you can probably sum up my career and the fact that you probably have seen me You just didn't realize that you saw me I've been in a lot of fun things that people recognize and had a great and successful career over the past 15-20 years, but constantly I have people telling me oh, I've never heard of you before. It's first time I've seen you And I think that's very beautiful because to me it means that I still have much more to go Ah, but you might have seen me on a new girl dancing as a naked homeless man to father figure You know see she didn't even know that um she It is you see I recognize your voice from trolls. Yeah Oh my okay Yes, yes, I'm recognizing Cooper from trolls If you're a big nerd, you might know me as King Shark from Harley Quinn If you are oh, I'm blue fee and inside out too Uh, and then I've been in acting in different shows. I'm on the loot with my Arudal Yeah, that's next on my list. It's a wonderful show. I recommend you check it out And then a lot of people have heard my jokes in different formats even if it wasn't from me Um, I wrote joke about raising a kid with autism and where it was like uh Being with a friend who'd done too many shrooms and while you yourself or a moderate amount of shrooms That was a big meme that went around for a while to the point now people Whenever I post the joke people go you stole that from fuck Jerry and I'm like you think fuck Jerry had an autistic kid Fuck Jerry stole that from me. Yeah. Yes Well, and then just you know, I just go around trying to have fun do fun stuff basically I really relate to because I got an autism diagnosis too as an adult And it's just like it was such a journey and like the podcast This really inspired me a lot of people diagnosed me with all sorts of things in the comments But of course it's um, it's just like it's so interesting Thinking like you're being perceived one way or like I'm communicating them I'm I thought I was telling my opinion very clearly and then it's like oh, it's not coming across that way Yeah, that's pretty much what was my experience on the traders to a tea Uh, and also mean girl and uh, but it was a thing that kind of reminded me of Of my past and probably mostly why I For the most part work independently and have always been a guy who just works by myself would stand up And then when I do work in groups it usually is just I prefer it with sweet nerds like my route off and Joel and Michaela Jay Rotary is over at loot so other group situations had been like that before I mean especially you got thrown into a shark tank Yeah, like just a shark tank. Yes, luckily. You had a little snake wrangler That like he seems so chill, but Just a crazy crazy experience and I think that experience and everything in your illustrious career has taught you is gonna Help give some takes on these stories today. Let's do it. I'm so excited. Let's dive in [Music] Okay, this first one I have it's coming from true off my chest So it's a subreddit where people can just go and just like shout something crazy into the void It's titled I've been pretending to like my best friend's husband for four years and I'm exhausted I don't really know why I'm posting this. I just need to say it somewhere because I've been holding it in for so long And it's starting to feel heavy my best friend of 12 years. Let's call her Dana Married this guy in 2021 and from basically the first time I met him. I knew something felt off Not in a dramatic way. Nothing I could point to and say this is the problem He's not abusive. He's not cheating as far as I know He doesn't do anything that would make a good story He's just one of those people who makes every room feel slightly worse He talks over Dana constantly not aggressively just like her sentences don't fully register to him before he starts his own He's one of those guys who has a loud opinion about everything but gets visibly annoyed if anyone pushes back He won't spend 45 minutes at dinner explaining to me why the city that I grew up in Isn't actually that great And seemed genuinely surprised that I wasn't agreeing with him Dana seems happy or at least she says she is and I believe her She lights up around him in ways that I guess I just have to accept that I don't understand So I smile at family dinners. I laugh at his jokes. I text him happy birthday every year I've been doing it for four years and I'm good at it by now But it's tiring in a way that I didn't expect The worst part is I feel guilty even writing this She's my best friend and she chose him and that should be enough for me I just need to say it out loud that it's not always enough and I don't know what to do with that feeling It seems like you already cast your die you've been staying silent for this long because you can't change switch up now They locked in you locked in you picked your role I mean, I picked up on there's so many things to say in there. It sounds like they have a good relationship After together they've been married for four years. That's long time to me and they and she's still happy She says she lights up and there's even things that in the tone of the letter But well, she's not he's not abusive period not cheating in parentheses as far as you know Sound like you don't want to get this man. No credit whatsoever. Yeah, like the bar is low But like it seems like he's seemingly okay. He's even great like who I mean especially if you've been together that long And now they've been married for four years who doesn't talk over someone's sentences where you when you know where it's going You you've already heard this before yes now they taking it public She's already ran the lines behind the scenes with him. So he's just like okay. I'm on board here's the next thing Oh my god. That's such a good point and I don't know what your hometown is or how do we not know it's not shitties I wonder if she commented where she lives. I'm like now or where she grew up I'm so curious But that is a good point that I think people sometimes forget with couples is like Typically by the time you're hearing this conversation They've had this and maybe they've even told this story before in front of other people and I think for me and I have a friend who co-hosts with me a lot were both neurodivergent So we are constantly cutting each other off and like sometimes it's a blessing where it's like I wish you would have jumped in sooner so I didn't keep talking Like I didn't even know what I was going to finish that sentence with so like I'm glad you you cut me off and kind of saved me And so if that's your normal like flow of conversation You're not you don't have a problem with it It's preferred even maybe. - Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I agree with you. And that was one of the things that I saw. It's like, we don't know this person's background. We don't know if there are neurodivergence or there could be just the way that they speak and the conversation seems overwhelming to you. The only thing I say is if someone's not able to take criticism back and they're like joking at you, but you can't joke back. I can understand that being too much. But I don't know if we gotta get more info 'cause I don't know if it's like him saying his opinion and then her going like, I don't agree with him. Just be like, ah, but I do, it's my thing. Why wouldn't he? Why wouldn't he not keep fighting for his opinion? So, I know. I mean, you gotta let your girl be happy. It's rough out there. You guys can want her out there in the day-in. - Back in the street? - Yeah. - Yeah, no, I mean, even like the line, she lights up. Like that, when you can recognize that, like clearly, there's something there. And I, I don't know how you feel about this. I'm curious. Do you feel like we're putting too much pressure on the fact that like, everyone needs to get along? Everyone needs to be friends. - That's what you, if I was her, I don't want you liking my man. (laughs) You shouldn't like him. - Yeah. - He don't like you. I don't want y'all old buddy, buddy. I'll come into the room y'all giggling together. Like, then I got, I'm gonna start side-eyein' a little bit, you know what I mean? - You look suspicious. - You look a little suspicious to me. So good, I'm glad the happy birthday once a year. And you just tolerate in him and parties. It's the, the most of a relationship I really want y'all to have. - Sounds great. - Yes. (laughs) - I think so too. I think like, I think we've kind of come to this unrealistic expectation of like, you need to get along with everyone and like all your mutual friends. And a friend of a friend, you need to like them. And you need to like their partners. It's like, hey, not everyone's my cup of tea. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Like we, we can be okay with that. Find who you like and just stick with your people. - Yeah, don't be, I mean the worst part about it seems like it's that you're being a little bit phony, you know? I bet he probably don't like you that much. (laughs) - He doesn't want that happy birthday text every year. - Yeah. - The top comment on this one. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it except learn to manage your feelings. You've said it yourself. Your best friend is happy with him. And that's all that matters. I think there's often this unspoken expectation that we should like our friend's partners. But sometimes you just don't click with someone. That's okay. You don't have to force yourself to be close with him. Just liking him doesn't make you a bad friend. You can keep things civil with him for your best friend's sake. - That's perfect in me. - Civil. That doesn't take a lot to be civil. - Yeah. I mean, I don't wanna say nothing, but it's like, you know, maybe you should be busy with your own thing. I don't know, I don't know. - We don't know. - That's how we got. There's no comments from our writer. We don't know what city she grew up in. So maybe we'll get an update eventually. - I wanna know. - Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from "Am I the asshole?" 15 hours old when I found it. It's titled "Am I the asshole" for refusing to get the in-laws souvenirs. My 42 female partners, 42 male family went on some big trips over the Christmas holidays. His sister went all around Europe with her new fiance and his parents and another sister went on a two-week cruise around the Caribbean. Before they left, I hosted them at my house for a lot of dinners and outings. When they returned, we all met up at the sister's house that went to Europe. Their holiday pretty much started and ended around the same time. So we went there for breakfast and they started pulling out gifts for everyone. My partner and I have an 18-year-old son. They put some things on the table and say it's for him. Then gifts for my partner and then gifts for everyone else and not one thing for me from anyone. It hurt but whatever. My mother-in-law then made a comment saying, quote, "Next time you visit, I'll get you something because she must have noticed that I was empty-handed. I just ignored her and we left soon after." Now, I'm going to China next week with my dad and I made a joke to my partner how I will be saving money by not getting his family any souvenirs. And he said that I was being petty. I refused to give in and he said, I should just get them something because they probably didn't even notice that they had left me out. But honestly, I want to invite them over just to show them the cool souvenirs I got for my family only. Am I the asshole? (laughing) A little bit, a small amount just at the end, really. Just at the end, just in the wanting to invite them over to be- - To rub their face in it. - That's the only asshole part about it. To me, the rest of it is there they asshole. They sound like real jerks. They invite you over. Nothing feels worse than, it's a universal feeling that we have when we're kids. It's the reason why when you go to a toddler's birthday party, they have little gift bags for everyone because no one feels worse than watching someone else open a bunch of gifts and you don't get anything. - I completely agree. Like feeling left out and excluded. It like physically pains me. I feel sick and nauseous over it, which sounds so silly. But I just want to go back. You're getting presents at toddler birthday parties? - When you go to a birthday party, I mean, not like presents, but like little gift bags got like a little - I'm going to the wrong parties. - Oh man, it's a- - Oh, for like the kids. - Yeah, not for me. I'm not just going to random kids birthday party. - No, I thought they were giving you gifts. - Oh no, that would be fun. - That's so nice that they get the parents and everyone gives. - That would be, that would be extravagant. I would like that. - That's what I want. I want to like walk out of like a party, like those gift bags that they give people when they go to the Oscars or something crazy. - I went to one party like that. It was so fun, my friends 50th birthday party and they turned it into a full carnival where you got tickets and stuff. And then at the end, there were good prizes. I left with like a Disney Lego set. It was, and I was like- - It's my dream. - Yeah, I went to someone else's birthday and then I left with gifts. It was great. - That's literally my dream. And that's like the party I want to throw 'cause gift giving is like, I'm all about that. I love letting people know I care about them and feel seen by what I get them. - I agree with me too. - Oh man. Yeah, I don't think asshole though, back to this one. - No, no, no, no, they were the assholes and they know it. And then if you actually buy something, I'm gonna say you a punk. Like you don't, don't succumb. They already declared war on you. You don't, you don't have the demon in return but you're like, oh, he'll give because I'm a coward. No, look them right back and go like, I got something for the kids. I didn't get nothing for you. I forgot about you. Like you guys forgot about me. Apparently we ain't that close. - Would you say that to them? - Yes. - Call them out. - Yes. - See, here's where I might be a little petty. I'd get them postcards. Like the, I'd get them the cheapest thing I could find. - That's the other option, yes. - Because then it's like, hey, I'm actually, I'm better than you because I didn't get about you. But it's, it's cheap. - Yeah. - But cheap isn't necessarily bad. But like for them, like it's just like, you're kind of an afterthought. - I mean, we're going that far though. I'm gonna go where, I'm gonna give them like the, like a hotel soap from. (laughing) - You're like, I don't even give things, you're gonna give things. - Yeah. - Some of those soaps are nice. - They are nice. - I said it at one hotel. - I'm keeping the nice ones over here. - Oh, I don't even open it. I like, I like, oh my gosh. I went somewhere and they had like a lay labo soap. And I was like, this is too nice for me. Like I wouldn't buy it for myself. And I asked for a couple extra. Every time I was giving him, I'd hide the one. - Of course they know what you're doing. - Yeah, you see a cart in the law. - They got, I mean, they charging them destination fees and stuff. You can take all the soaps you want. I know, what's up with that amenities fees? - Oh, don't get me stumbling on it. - Oh my God, this is a basic right. - Just tell me the bill when you went out, before I get here, go and then add like, oh, you're $35 extra night, but guess what? You get all the water you want. What? - Cool, I'll go to the 7/11 across the street and buy a jug. - Yeah, I get two drink tickets and I don't drink. Great, thank you. - Thanks for the mocktail. - Yeah. - No, mm-hmm. - No. - I'm not about it. - They did so much and they're going to mess it up and they're going to run themselves out of bed. Is there anything I can do? I'm going podcasts, the podcast, the spread and awareness that these destination fees are ridiculous. They started in Vegas and they should have stayed there. And now they spread them all throughout the world, not the world, you're much better. But out through America, you're charging us more money for less service and I hate it with a passion. Charge me all you want for great service, but don't charge me more and then tell me that I got a call 48 hours in advance if I want my bed turned down. - Oh my gosh. - I know. - That's wild. See, I did find a good hotel in New York, the Virgin Hotel. And you just hit a little button. It's like a light, like a light switch. You hit the button when you want them to come to your room and they're in there within an hour. - I love that. - They're good. - I love that. - But they got that damn resort fee. - I hate the resort fee. - I know. But I will say, it's better than the weird cleaning fees you get at an Airbnb. - Yeah, barely though. - Uh, top comment on this one. He said I should just give them something because they probably didn't even notice that they left me out, which is exactly the problem. Good Lord, not the asshole. Someone responds, yeah, the husband is so observant. Next comment down. The husband is the problem. For allowing it to happen and asking you to get over it. Oh, I love this turn. Oh, why didn't she think of that? I want to earn a reverse it right on him. Yeah. Don't go back and throw it on him. Be like, well wait, who are you defending here? Who you who you want to hang out with? You want to sleep with your sisters? Are you trying to sleep with me? I mean, we do come across those unread it. No, that's a really good point. Who side are you on? Who side are you on? Someone comments too and they say, yeah, how is they forgot about you supposed to be better? It's a whole trip, a long trip. They have many days to remember you exist. Oh, so sad. Okay. I want an update on that one. We don't have an update. I would like one. I'm just going to double check the account just to make sure. Yeah, nothing. Nothing. And as of my refresh, the post is now 12 days old. I get scared to refresh them sometimes because they disappear. But it's old or? Yeah, I hate when people go back and delete and you don't know. You're like, what happened? Either something good or something dramatic. Stay with your chest or don't say it at all. Exactly. But we'll keep our eyes peeled. I'll follow the account. Maybe they'll get an update there. Their username is more puppies, please. How could they be the asshole? If they were less puppies. Less puppies than maybe there'd be a problem. Okay, moving on to this next one. This is coming from our/relationships, a subreddit that's just built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal problems. It is titled, My husband, 32 male, frequently jokes about my family. His attitude is rubbing off on our son, five male, and I, 29 female, want it to stop. We've been married for six years, met in college, got married right after our graduation. And yeah, maybe our relationship was a little rushed. As much as I hate this one particular aspect of my husband, I do still think he's a great guy and a good father. The problem is, he doesn't really respect my family. I grew up on a farm and the majority of my family lives in the country. We're from the south and that's where they all still live. My husband and I live up north near his family and where he grew up. I know all the stereotypes about people from the south and I just want to say, my family really does not fit them. We're not racist. We're not dumb. We're not in bread hicks. Yes, my mother and father speak with a drawl and dinner table conversations do tend to end up being about farm topics. My husband has over the years developed a tendency to sort of make fun of my family. It's never really mean spirited, but he loves to play up the simple Hick stereotype. Insinuating members of my family are dumb or talking about back on the farm or what have you, he knows none of it is true. My father has a doctorate for fuck's sake and many members of my family are very accomplished in different fields, but I guess in my husband's mind anyone from the south who lives on a farm must be the exact same. It normally doesn't bother me that much. He's made it clear that he's joking and it's not like he does it all the time. Well, here's our problem. Our son is now five and he's becoming quite the little parrot. Back in March we went to visit my parents. For dinner one night my dad made fried chicken and I mean very fresh fried chicken as in killed that afternoon. My son loves fried chicken and I thought he'd be excited to try it. Well, he completely refused and said he wouldn't touch it because it wasn't store-bought. I told him he was being rude but chalked it up to kids being weird about stuff sometimes. Later that night I sat him down to talk to him about his manners and how grandpa was hurt that he didn't want to eat dinner and my son said he didn't care because only hillbillies kill their own food. That's when I clued in that these weren't exactly his own ideas. My husband has jokingly said the same thing. I spoke to my husband about it and I told him to cut it out that our son is too young to tell the difference between jokes and truth and I don't want him thinking that. Throughout the last few months there have been a lot of instances like that. My son asked me how I got into college. I thought it was a genuine five-year-old curiosity question and launched into an explanation only to be interrupted with quote no how do you do it if you're dumb. Further probing led me to finding out he thought everyone from the south is too dumb to go to college. I went to a more prestigious university than my husband but whatever. He's also said multiple times now that he likes his paternal grandparents more because it's clean and normal. My parents' house is perfectly clean. Again, more parroting of my husband. I'm tired of it. My family is 100% respectable and I want my kid to love them and treat them the same as the other half. I know he's young and kids do the darnest things but I don't want this snowballing. I've talked to my husband and he assures me that he'll stop but he keeps making these little quips and brushes it off as he doesn't understand. He does. His little brain is like a sponge. How do I get this to stop? I'm glad that I don't know this person. They sound horrible. Yeah, because I wouldn't say the truth if I knew them. But truthfully, so I was like you guys are done really from the framing of the latter. I love going through and people really reveal themselves the fact that she felt the need to put in. Yeah, we rushed it. It tells you that she has more second thoughts about that marriage than then that and this in general marriage and any good relationship as we all know is built on love, trust and respect. You need all three and if he doesn't respect your family and doesn't in return respect your wishes to not do it, then you don't have one of those three, which means by definition, your relationship is designed to fail. So probably just got it ended at some point and then protect your kids so that you don't ruin the relationship that they could have with their grandparents because it's affecting their ability to have their relationship with their grandparents. We won't be around forever. And then it's affecting his ability to try the most delicious fried chickens, which is like that's the saddest part of that whole story. I know it sounded like it would have been fresh, good organic. Yeah, it would have been the best fried chicken he could have ever had. You know exactly where it came from and what's in it? And stay here. I just eat storeball, nitrate fields, fried chicken because the dad leaned them down a dark path. You gotta save that boy. What do you think? My first thought was just one word, divorce. And I know people are like, "Oh, it's not that serious." But the thing is, it's not just what he thinks about your family. He's kind of thinking the same things about you. If your son came up to you and he goes, "How'd you get into college?" And you say, "Oh, well, you know, I applied and blah, blah, blah." And he goes, "No, no, no, no, no. How did you get into college if you're dumb?" So your husband's telling your own child that you're dumb or like he's drawing these dots from somewhere, right? And it's like regardless, he's instilling these like really just like bigoted views in him. And it's just like, it's not healthy to also start cultivating the five year olds' mind to think this way. It's like he's indoctrinating him. No, yeah, I agree with you 100%. Just no respect for her. And also, it's like a denial of reality. If she went to a better college than him and she's doing well, and then it's like that's a woman that you should be showing. Your son is a good example of what you want to look for in a way. Like there's just, you know, many people, when a matter of where you're from who don't have education and don't do effort and then just try to live off of somebody else, you have a great partner who comes from a great background and a strong family. That's something to be celebrated, not mocked, you know? I don't understand. I don't understand how like they even got together. Like how was he? How was he? How was he able to overlook that you were from the South enough to even go on a date with you? How did we get this far? It's just mind-blowing that he was willing to settle so far beneath him. Yeah, let's give him one shot so you can really be like, Hey, don't say this stuff anymore at all around my kid or around me. You want to go around your buddies and just vent about your in-laws. That's one thing, but like you can't, I mean, that's child abuse. That's like a version of poison your kid against their own family and it's a form of child abuse. I don't think people like talk about that enough, especially when parents do it against the other parent. It's so, so hard to do it. That's something I had to deal with growing up and it's just like, that's my mom. Like, and like watching other people do it. It's like you can't talk shit if you're the step parent or if you're you know so and so like that's still their mom like you have to reign it in no matter how upset you are like if they come to that conclusion on their own someday that's fine yeah I mean I've been divorced twice and that's one thing I mean I have my personal opinion about them as people but both of them are the mothers of my children and I made choices to have kids with them so I mean I saw something in them and that's one thing I'd never play around with like I never let my sons hear me say anything negative about their mom because I want them to have a respect and love for their mom in just as they should as kids I mean and also I don't want to taint the love in any way it's actually gone the reverse like the harsh feelings that I had for my partners get softened by me seeing the love that my kids have for them yeah that's really that'd be really interesting to feel that where you're just like their mom loves them they love their mom okay like chill out like let your feelings go a little bit more that would be it really it's hard so hard I am I love you like her damn I know I hold a grudge I need to get better about that this year maybe maybe next maybe that's a 2027 thing work on you got time top comment on this one opi's husband is not joking he is training his son to despise his mother and her family husband is aware of what he is doing and is possibly getting a thrill of superiority out of it he is also alienating the child from his mother it's a form of abuse that's what they put yeah run you clocked it opi has a husband problem I I'm so intrigued because I know a lot of times people are like oh if you know there's abuse in the relationship like couples therapy is a no-no it can actually make it worse so I just like with this one I'm like how do they even proceed forward in any other way but like a separation like if he's kind of acting like this would couples therapy even help I'm so curious I would think individual therapy he needs individual therapy not couples therapy yeah something wrong with what he's doing I think she should too to kind of like I don't know maybe realize her own worth in all this yeah oh everybody should be really but that fence feeling a superiority that rings a bell to me of like maybe he's unhappy with his own position and stuff in his work and there are other things that make him feel less than and so this is his way of exhorting or showing dominance and but it just makes you kind of a coward really I know there's another comment here that just says I wonder what your husband is saying when you aren't around this is a draw a line in the sand time yeah it doesn't make any more comments like that period not around your son not around you he takes the four when it comes to teaching his son some respect for your family this is ultimatum time yeah if anything then you want to see him take the hey we didn't hear where was the dad at during the fried chicken incident did he not even go I there wasn't a comment about it like was he sitting there he sit there and just watch it or did he not go because you don't like the family yeah that's his job at that point to lead by example and pick up a piece of chicken and eat it in front of his son the show hell I know what the honestly I don't think he's eating the food either he probably before dinner is there going to the sun and being like do you know that grandpa just killed that chicken did you see little snowflake outside before dinner that's who you're eating hillbilly's only killed their food well like it's probably happening right there in the moment right out of earshot from everyone which is crazier like you're a guy up with being a model let's get him it's just goofy goofy okay I'm curious on your take on this next one because we kind of we're we're mentioning kids a lot and you've got to I'm curious what you think of this concept because especially you being in the limelight you got some status okay how do you feel about sharing kids and just photos of them online oh just my general belief yeah it's changed over time I used to being much more open about it and which is use my social media like a regular photo album so they're all any of myself I would post and I just had to learn over time because you get different comments or people you go through and you see someone has saved this picture it was like why would you need to save this picture yeah exactly so then you learn I don't believe in putting like the little heart over the face or anything like that to me now I just have like a side thing were just me and my friends and family where we shared that type of stuff and then the rest of it I just keep my kids out of the spotlight out of the public because a they didn't ask to do that they were just born into whatever they would if my son's the site later they want to that's their decision and then be when people know something that you love they can use it against you and I'm just not very good at regulating my emotions when it comes to people saying things about my kid and if you're online and you say too many things about my son I'll find the phone number of the place you were to call you that's so fair so I can't be doing that no your pop of air like you you want to protect your little ones yeah okay this one is coming from AIT AH and it's titled am I the asshole for photoshopping my nieces and nephews out of the pictures I posted online my 27 female sister-in-law my husband sister whose female 38 decided about a year ago that she does not want her kids faces posted on social media she still post them almost daily in family photos but always with stickers covering the kids faces I only post on social media for special events my friends list is mostly family and a few friends from back home middle east my grandma especially loves logging in a Facebook to see pictures of my kids she often messages me afterward to talk about them and sometimes even shows the photo to her group of friends back home she has told me this I am okay with a bunch of grannies seeing the pictures at my son's fifth birthday recently I was taking photos my sister-in-law approached me and said she does not want anyone online to see her kids' faces I said I understood later she told my husband 40 male that she thinks it is weird that we are okay with exposing our kids online and that it is just bad parenting my husband laughed and said we are not Instagram famous like her since she does have quite a few followers and that no one really cares how many how I wish she told me how many he basically just told her to relax instead of putting stickers on her kids faces I photoshopped them out of the pictures before posting online my grandma sometimes prints photos and stickers would just look odd also my sister-in-law does not want her kids pictures posted online anyways my sister-in-law called me furious she said that I was being a vindictive asshole and that it looked like her kids were not at the party or did not matter my husband backed me up and said that she was overreacting he told her that I respected her wishes and did not post her kids pictures online and that I do not owe her an apology good husband my sister-in-law blocked both of us my mother-in-law says we should explain the misunderstanding better and just apologize to end this argument do I owe her an apology was I an asshole no absolutely not you did what she set up but that's what I would say the issue here is the Instagram fame is that people like that want to have their cake and eat it too they want to post their kids on their terms and put the stickers on their faces and then they also want to be like respect my privacy but here's the mystery of like you don't know what my kids look like the hard thing isn't doesn't protect them at all if you're like worried about creeps creeps don't care about the faces you know like they're still be perverted to your kids so you're not protecting them in that way like if you want to protect them like you said and she did the right thing by removing them but you want to have the thrill of the thing like I was that we were at the party and then which they don't even care that's you that's her and her mind of like phomo of like everyone has to know we were there well you got to pick a lane if you want to be Instagram famous and stuff then do that but you don't get to tell other people what to do with their pictures I mean you had already lost me from the get-go of you don't get to go tell someone else that their bad parents for how they raise their kids every kids is individual you don't know what works best for their kids that's one of the things I learned you know before I got my diagnosis is just learning to do it was best for my son who had autism and and some of that was the exact opposite of what people thought you should do for a kid it. So you don't tell someone else that they're a bad parent for how they for choose to protect their children or how they choose to celebrate their children. They're clearly the asshole. The mom knows that she just don't want to deal with it. She's been dealing with it for however long she been born. So she's like, it's easier to ask you to apologize and ask her because I'm a had to hear about this until Christmas when we give out there for Christmas. But you guys just tell her, you know who your daughter is. Don't put this on me now. It ain't my fault. It's also like, I think we like to be like, oh, just be the bigger person to the one that's usually a victim in a situation. A lot of times because we know how irrational and hard headed and just goofy that other person is. And it's easier to make the person be the bigger person when they have sense. And it's like, yeah, let me guilt you into apologizing for no reason to placate the crazy person. It doesn't make sense. It's like, she has her rules for her kids. OP followed them, but what? Like you're you're unhappy that she followed your rules. And I find it interesting. I didn't think about this until I saw this comment. So someone goes, not the asshole. That is crazy. She can't have it both ways. And OP actually responds and says, my husband says she wanted the stickers to make a point out of it. Quote, my kids are protected. Look at me. I'm a good mom mother in law. Thanks. She feels like we eliminated her kids. You didn't eliminate her kids. The picture still exists that if she wants to show that picture off, they're original. Yeah, she can print it and put it in her house or a photo book for her kids. She's not posting them on social media. Anyways, this is on your personal social media that you have very few people on, why does it matter? I mean, I just got to say after we went through that last post is that I love this relationship between this husband and wife. I know. It's backs either by even behind the back. They talking each other up, defending each other. Yeah, like that would be the one takeaway. It's like, man, we should got you got the strong family unit. Really the rest of it don't matter to me. So congratulations. I know. Good partner, good boundaries. You don't often see that. You see like one of the people kind of siding with their family of origin to be like, okay, okay. Like let's let's just put out the fire here. There is a comment here and someone goes, don't post my kids. OP then doesn't post her kids. No, not like that, not the asshole. Someone responds and goes, maybe just remove their heads. No stickers, just headless bodies, which is weirder. That's even weirder. And so someone actually responds and they go, I actually saw a picture of someone who removed their head for anonymity a few days ago and it was creepy as fuck. And then someone chairs down and they go, oh, yeah, thanks for the reminder about the big zucchini. It was in the absolute units subreddit. I'd never heard about this subreddit, but apparently it's our slash absolute units. And that's what one would think. But it is actually lads that you're in awe at the size of absolute unit. An animal or public figure who is larger than we should normally expect. And then this person posted in this sub and they go of a zucchini that we grew. And they posted a picture of their kid holding a ginormous zucchini. But they removed the child's head. No, that's terrifying. Oh my God. It's scary. Yeah, the zucchini makes it worse. I know. That is wild. You didn't, you didn't like protect your kid in that sense by removing their hat and making them a headless horseman. Yeah. No, if anything, you gave them a job to finish and visualize. It's, it's worse. They're going like, okay, when I'm done, that's what it's going to look like. Like literally all you had to do is lean the zucchini up against the bar stool. That's also in the picture to demonstrate the size of it. That's true. You did not need a hell of a child for that. This is terrible. Please turn it back towards you. So I'm like, I, I just find this to be such an interesting dilemma. We're now facing with social media and kids and pictures. It's like, I don't think the asshole. I actually think you did it right. No, it sounds like the other person just has main character syndrome. And they just need, even need at your kids birthday to have a reason why they are the story. Yeah. We don't have any mention about how many social media followers she has. There's not that many. There's not a 10 grand 10 K and she's acting that goofy. It's so odd. People ask me because I've, like, talked about wanting kids and stuff now and people are like, are you going to show your kids? And I'm like, I don't know. I feel like a baby picture, like when they're little new, like there's, they just all kind of look like potatoes. I'm like, I feel like that's okay. Yeah. I posted different all events like when I do my Christmas card. Sometimes I'll post our Christmas card. Yeah. I like that. So you'll see, maybe you've seen my son when he was born and then one at a year and then one at three years, but I just don't not daily. I don't post that much either. So it's like, I don't know, but it's an interesting concept of people that are like, I'm not going to show my kid online. And then they're still showing their kid online. And like the heart doesn't fully cover the face. It's like either do or don't. Yeah. But I don't know. That's maybe that's my hot take for the day. Yeah. I mean, different strokes, different folks, but don't, but that would be the whole point is you then can't let's tell another parent what to do with their kids. That's the base level answer for me. I'm with you. Okay. This next one, I think I got the same blanket. Did you get it from Spotify? Maybe. Was it a present? Yeah, this is my Spotify blank. I got a few from them. They give, they give a pretty good, pretty good blanket. Yeah, give me a sign one time. Oh, light up sign. Was it that sign over there? The recording sign? Yeah, that's it. We're on the same list, the same mailing list. Okay, this one is coming from our slash relationship advice. So just another general relationship advice sub. It's titled my 24 male girlfriend, 22 female and her sister, 20 female are both pregnant with my children. Whoa, this is fun. Neither of them know about the other. I want to do the right thing too late for that. Throw a account because my brother and a few in real life friends know my username. I have done a terrible, terrible thing. I have made a terrible, terrible mistake. I'm really not looking to be judged here, but I know it's going to come no matter what. I found out the same day about both of them being pregnant. I've been with my girlfriend for two years and her sister and I hooked up around three weeks ago. It only happened once and she told me that she was on birth control. Obviously not. My girlfriend and I have been trying. So I do know it's mine. Her sister says hers is definitely mine because she hasn't been with anyone else in two months. I convinced my girlfriend to wait to tell people for a couple of weeks. And her sister said she's going to wait for me to tell the family. I need to come clean. I need them both to know early on so I can sleep at night. I'm aware I'm going to be happy. Yeah, what you tell them all, oh, you're swearing over. You just gonna be like, oh, well, I got that all my chance. Why don't we have it for the side? I'm aware I'm going to be hated by their entire family and possibly all of our friends. I'm trying to do the right thing if there is an option even. Any advice is appreciated. It only if I could give you to truly help you would be a starter reality show. See if you can get this thing just going before he convinced him that like we're just going to stay a family together. And I'm going, we're going to try to see we can get both these kids delivered on the same day and sell this to the learning channel. Literally, it's, it is like sister, sister wives. Yeah. That really is a wild. It's so you saw many things. Why would you, if you're, oh, I mean, hey, don't do this. But be if you're going to do this. Why would you not have protection with the system? You just trust in the sister that's willing to cheat over and screw over her sister. She's just like, oh, she's honest, but she's clearly going for control. What? No, she's the crazy sister who jealous of her sister. And now she's caused more drama and then the fact that the first response isn't even like, well, we better go get some plan B or go to a clinic. But like what we got to figure out how to tell that she's been, oh, You are I know for you. Yeah, sure telling them is going to end your worries. This is You your next two decades as fuck Forever oh my god, I'm like I just like that's I don't understand the sister. I don't understand him I was just like if you you're gonna cheat like don't keep it in the same family like find someone else at least down the street Yeah, that's wild same house probably You and you really are young 22 and 20. Yeah, oh, he could be going over to the parents house for both of them. Yeah And they were probably like warn the older sister they were like oh, we don't like this guy and now they're gonna have two grandbabies This is horrible. I have like anxiety about this reality. Yeah, I mean, I hope it's funny It will be one thing as I hope is fake if it's real then just thank you for making me feel that my life is less complicated It really definitely I think is what reddit is for to read these stories and be like man, it could be worse for me At least I'm not in this situation The post is Seven years old It's vintage so it's not AI. I don't think chat GPT was around in these days We do have a couple comments from OP someone goes well for one Be honest make sure they both know your girlfriend will hopefully leave you Maybe they will both want an abortion or you might end up paying child support for both while everyone hates you for the rest of your life That's really the option. They really broke it down There it is and OP Says I know she's going to leave me. I've accepted that and began to prepare silently How could anyone stay Yeah, he's kind of like if they did then you wouldn't respect her Someone goes dear God, please be a troll. That's what I was hoping. Oh, he says unfortunately not I'm going to be downvoted to oblivion soon. So I hope I can get some advice before my post actually goes away And someone comments back remind me in nine months Well, fortunately we do get an update. Oh, I want it an update We do get an update It comes just a few days after the first post again. This is from 2019 Mm-hmm. I debated on whether or not to post this since on the original post I was bombarded with hate and threatening private messages including a doc's threat However, a few people gave some really solid and helpful advice. So this update is for them I posted last Friday afternoon on Fridays. My girlfriend gets off of work at 10 pm I told her sister to come over at around 9.45 pm because we were going to tell her the truth She agreed and I waited the anxiety I felt was Tremendous, but I just kept reminding myself that this was all my fault and nobody else but me made that mistake When the sister didn't arrive by 10. I knew something was up My suspicions were confirmed when they walked in the house together at 10.15 They sat me down and explained the situation Sister had come clean to the girlfriend and after a brief quarrel and anger They decided to fuck with me to see how long I would keep the secret for Props to them because I was completely blindsided Girlfriend now ex-girlfriend was very calm and had sister pack her a bag to go stay with her I told her my friends and I would bring her belongings and furniture anywhere she wanted me to She told me that she didn't want me touching her stuff and she would be moved out when I got home from work on Monday Too long didn't read neither of them were pregnant They found out about me cheating and fucked with me. I'm single now. That's fun Hey the story except for she's way too forgiven of her sister. That was my first thing. I was like She figured for sister quick enough to make it like a 22-minute sitcom episode. I'd be an only child. Yeah Like no, okay. I'm not gonna pull the prank with you now But I guess like What's that? What's that saying when you hate someone the enemy of your enemy is my friend? Yeah, but why is why is the the sister in him enemies? They were both bad. I know they didn't not like he took advantage of her. They just had sex. It must have been bad No, like it must have been really bad to the point she was like oh, I fucked up like I got to tell her so like This doesn't get bad and in my favor like this He was not good. Mmm. Wow. I love that insight. I wouldn't have thought of it I mean, I don't know cuz like I think we've had a couple stories on reddit where sisters do steal husbands. Mm-hmm They it happens do so it must have just been not worth it. Mm-hmm Grass was not greener. That's a double this Lost a girl and the other lady was like, mm-hmm not even good Not even good. Wow. That's pretty wild. Mm-hmm. I'm glad we got clarity. We so much clarity 2020 Still low best case scenario for him no kids and he learned probably a really really valuable lesson Yeah, he probably was just in his MP apartment playing video games that night Breathing a sigh of relief. I know. Cheers The glass of champagne to celebrate that yeah, it's so crazy and he's single and then he slow And they can never take away from him that he slept with both sisters Wow, he really won. Did he win at the end? I think he did Did you think about it? He kind of won. I didn't want him to win. He's up with both of the sisters This they got out of the relationship. He's by himself with no child support He's in his 20s still he can go start a new relationship and still always being like man I slept with both of those girls he kind of won Unfortunately, I don't like when bad people win me too. Well, there's a fun story I need hope that karma does exist because it has not Attacked my enemy yet Life is long. I've seen it before. That's true. I've had it happen. Have you? Yeah Life is long. Okay. Be patient. Be patient. I had a day like that where I ran into multiple people who were just shitty to me for no reason and they all like saw me after like a real positive thing had happened to me and so then it was like it was real fun day It does happen. I've seen it. How did that feel? It felt amazing Did you just kind of like revel in it? Did you feel like you're walking a couple inches taller like yeah? It's because it was in my old hometown around a bunch of people who were like always good You'll never do it. And then they all had like I saw you on this. I saw you on that. I love that So it was nice. I was so satisfied People are gonna be so excited to see you Not the silent scream again. No, I almost did it and then I put my hands like no If you know you know this silent scream thing has been haunting me But my nails are fixed now. Okay, you do once one more time just for good measure. Oh my god. It's so good Okay, Lauren's foffin in for this next story because it is a special story brought to you by state farm As we know life comes in all stages crazy stages happy stages sad stages chaos stages all the stages Whether it's getting a brand new car stage maybe a new job a new city Maybe the family is growing. Maybe you got your first home and you're so excited about it Each one of these life events can bring change and uncertainty So it helps to have someone like a state farm agent in your corner And this next story they need someone in their corner This story is titled am I wrong for banning my friends untrained dog from our new house We recently moved from a rented property to our own house now we have white carpet everywhere and a white sofa Our cat has white fur So we had no choice in picking the sofa and the carpet color Our friends have a large untrained black dog the last time they visited our rented property The dog did his business in every corner Did number two in the middle of the room And drooled all over our sofa He also terrorizes our cat every time they meet like many pet owners Our friends believe their dog is an angel This is now our own house and we paid a lot for the sofa and the carpets We also don't want our cat being scared in his own home I should mention they always take their dog everywhere with them and they are our very close friends We ask them to come to the housewarming party without their dog Their parents live nearby so leaving the dog for a day shouldn't be too much of a hassle They are now mad at us for being heartless And it seems that they don't want to continue our friendship Am I wrong for picking furniture and my cat over friendship? No they literally I'm just laughing at the absurdity I know I want to come up with like a one line or a zinger But I can't because I'm too caught off guard No, I just think it's so crazy, like, I can't imagine, like, I know that I probably shouldn't say this because I don't have a child, but like, I feel like even if I had a child who I would love with like every beat fiber in my body, if they peed in every single corner of my friend's place and then pooped in the middle of the thing, I would understand if they were like, "I need some space. Can you drop your child off at like your mom's for the night?" You know? I just need a kid doing all this. Well, yeah, I would be like, "You know what? This child's my life. I love our friendship. I will have a night to have somebody else watch my child, so we can get together. We will work on this and I want you to know that I would love to continue to have our child come along because we bring our child everywhere. So from now, we'll have space, we'll work on the problem, and I hope that you give us another chance. Yeah. And like, the fact that, like, this is not a kid, like, this is also a dog. That's my point. That's why I'm saying that this is crazy. It's ludicrous. And I think it's so nuts to like, "Okay, your dog is clearly not very house broken, and we have a new place with white carpet, white sofa." And it's a housewarming party. There's going to be a lot of other guests. Yeah. There's going to be maybe food displayed on the counter. I don't need to watch your big dog, Beethoven, who's just wrecking havoc. Yeah. Yeah. And deal with that. I'm just envisioning retro and like, stealing food off the counters. I love dogs. But this is not your house. Yeah. And to end a friendship over it. Well, and a fair-weather friend. And then, okay, let's say all of that was not even an issue. The fact alone that like, if they, from one animal owner to another one, understand how much they love their pet, then they should respect the fact that like, there is an animal there that is very unhappy with the other animals. So like, you should respect that on, like, like, on its own. And I even, I can like relate to this because when I was fostering the last cat I was fostering, I had two friends come over that had two small dogs. And when we went, I went to sleep in my room, they like slept on the couch. And I woke up the next day. And I was like, wait, why, why did the cat get moved into like, what happened? And they're like, I woke up in the middle of the night to the dogs just chasing the cat in circles non-stop. And the cat looked terrorized. And like, they're like, they're like, these two little tiny dogs. And they were like, they were having the time of their life. They thought that they just made best friends. They didn't realize that the cat was terrorized. And I'm like, looking at it, I'm not so bad. And the cat the next day was like so, like, just cowering. Just off. Yeah. And so I think, and that's just a, you know, and this is their pet, their home. Yeah. Like, your rules. Yeah. And yeah. True. You're rules. This is like an exciting time. You're having a housewarming party. And they don't want to come. And they don't want to be your friend anymore because they can't bring their moose of a dog with them. That shits everywhere. Sorry. That's just the way the cookies crumbling. So can state farm mediate this situation? Stay farm, hell. Yeah. So the top comment on this one, not the asshole. If their dog is untrained and urinating, slash defecating in other people's houses, your friends are huge assholes for continuously bringing the dog everywhere. I'd be embarrassed if I took my dog to someone's house. And he ended up doing that inside. In fact, it did happen once when I brought my then girlfriend now, wife, dog to my parents, dog pooped in the house, never brought the dog to anyone's house after that. If they can't respect your house and your feelings on this, then you're better off without them in your life. Yeah. That's why I'm saying I'm like, even no matter how much you love anything like if they can't be potty trained in somebody else's house, you got to take a step back and be like, let's work on this. Like what's going on? You know, like actually, even the same dog, another friend when she babysits that dog, sometimes because she also has animals, they start smelling each other's and start like, so she actually, when she babysits them, she has them wear diapers, diapers, smart. Yeah. So I have a dog diaper. Yeah, I think more people should put diapers on their dogs. Yeah. So I just, I saw, I saw a dog traveling through the airport today. I saw a dog just lift its leg and pee on a wall. That dog needs a diaper. It probably was literally smelling like human piss and was like marking this one. I don't know. It's L.A.X. So insane. Well, thank you, State Farm for this story. Whatever stage you're crossing into, know that State Farm is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With State Farm, you can focus on what matters most, knowing you're prepared for whatever may come next. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Do you have any secret family recipes? I mean, you have a family, my mom has a family sweet potato pie recipe. I have a baked macaroni and cheese and then a potato salad with my specialty. You got the good comfort foods. Sweet potatoes. One of my favorites, mac and cheese. Yes. You're gonna, would you be willing to share any of them? No. Damn. Well, you're more good. I have a couple different ones. My grandma's chocolate chip cookies, fire. I've got a really good cardamom bread recipe from my grandma. Well, so it's a Swedish thing, but they make it in like traditional Swedish recipes. It's like buns, cardamom buns. But my grandma, maybe it's a Minnesota thing. Maybe it's like a Swedish Minnesota thing. They almost make it where it looks like a hola bread, where it's like braided. And it's so good, so good. I've got a few family recipes and I am willing to share them. Oh, well, that makes so different. You can reconsider maybe. I don't think I know. I want to take the cookies. I'll take the cookie. I'll trade you. No, you just said I can have it. You didn't say I had to trade. You said you would give it. So it just seems like out of the goodness of your heart, you should just give it to me and respect my boundaries. I guess. I did. I did offer it free charge. I didn't really incentivize you to give me anything. There's no trade there. No barterie. No barterie. No barterie. Okay. So this is coming from R/kinfessions. It's a month old now titled my mother-in-law is currently giving me the silent treatment because I won't share a family recipe that is actually just expensive takeout. That's fun. That's so fun. It's a fun story. I'll die if I don't share this. Three years ago, I was supposed to cook for my wife's birthday dinner and I completely torched the main dish in a total panic. I drove to this Italian deli two towns over, bought two massive trays of lasagna, scraped the cheese on top. So looked messy and homemade and hid the foil containers in the outside trash. I remember the episode of the Simpson scheme or center did bad with it. He made steamcams. I think a lot of people do this. It was a hit. Like they wouldn't shut up about it. Best thing they ever ate. Now I'm the lasagna guy. Every birthday, every holiday, I have to drive 40 minutes round trip, smuggle this stuff into the house in a gym bag and transfer it to my own Pyrex dishes when my wife is in the shower. The issue is my mother-in-law asked for the recipe last week for her church potluck. I didn't know what to do. So I told her I promised my late grandmother on her deathbed that I wouldn't write it down. She called me selfish and is actually pissed off at me. I feel like a total fraud, but I can't tell her the secret ingredient is $80 and a guy named Sal. No, it's easy. It's easy. What do you do? You let her in because then you go trust and confidence with her. You know, you have an alliance with your mother-in-law. I learned this after. I should have done this stuff in the trade. I didn't know. But now I get it. So that's what I would do is I would actually say, I'm going to teach you the recipe. I'm going to need you to come to me. I'm going to take her to the restaurant before and then have her eat the lasagna and go like, this is it. Please don't tell anybody else you got to keep her the secret. What if she's a snitch, though? You have to rest you running, I guess, but I don't believe it. She's probably old school because then she'll have something over the church people too. So then she, because then the only two of you have the lasagna and you're like, oh, he took me inside, told me the story of why it's so important to him. He shared it with me, but no, I can't share it with anybody. It's not my secret. It's not my secret to share. I cannot do that to his grandmother's memory. You build trust and you've got and double lasagna. I think that's the move personally. I kind of like the way you're thinking. I was like, I just find a fake recipe. And that's, that's what a lot of the comments say. They're like, just give her a random lasagna recipe. She don't know. She don't know the taste is different. I know when everyone is just like, just express disappointment when it never turns out the same. But I kind of like this. I do like having a little bit of a bonding moment between your mother and law. Yeah. You still keep and a secret from your wife. - It's just a fun secret to have. It's not hurting anybody. - Yeah. - But then now, you and two are in on it, and then she knows even when this guy keeps secrets, it's just lasagna. - It's just lasagna? - Yeah. - Huh. - Would you ever go on survivor? - No. - Why? - Because I don't want to, I like food. - Well, they have coconuts? - That's not enough. - And some rice. - No, sometimes they get a chicken. - I like protein veggies in a nice way. I like sleep, I like eight hours of sleep. - I know. - I like indoors, I don't even like the beach, I only like the beach on a regular day. - I know that's my problem. I don't really like being sandy, and getting in the ocean, and if you accidentally get some water near your mouth, it tastes like corn on the cob. I'm like really, I know, I have a hard time with that. - I like to have a hotel near the beach. That's wonderful. - Do you still like to go in the pool, though, over the ocean nearby? - Yeah. I mean, I will go into the actual ocean, and then I will go in the ocean, get out, and then I'm done, and we're done. The beach for me is like 30 minutes. - What's your drink of choice at the beach? - My drink of choice is the same everywhere, water, Coke Zero, Coke Zero and Water. I like both those things. - Do you like the taste of water? - It's the one thing. I just like have a really hard time with the taste of water. - You not drink enough? - No, I'm ironically dehydrated. - Well, if you don't drink enough water then you don't want like the taste of water. You got to drink, you got to get used to the taste of it. When water tastes bad to you, that's a bad sign. - I'm gonna have to think about this for a while. - I just like don't, you don't like the taste of it, so drink more. - Yeah, no, yeah, you see, I mean, there's other, there's like the YouTuber who got me fun of a lot, 'cause he never drank water, any drink water, and he spit it out and had to like watch it down with soda and people were telling him it's because you're gone too far. - There's only a couple brands that I do like, like very selective, but like. - Which one, you don't wanna say 'cause you don't have a brand deal? - Not yet. (laughing) I really like liquid death. I love all waters from Iceland. Like they just taste really good. You could like take your little water bottle, you could go up to a waterfall there in Iceland and just drink straight from the source, that's legit. - I like sparkling water, but that doesn't necessarily count. But there's still real water in this sparkling water. - Why was sparkling water count? - A lot of people say it doesn't count. - I think they're all wrong. Just 'cause there's sparkling, anything in doesn't count? - Well, because they're like, it's purified and purified water's bad for you. You should be drinking spring water. - No, that's true. You do want minerals, you want natural minerals. - Yeah, I watched that Zach Efron documentary where purified water leaches minerals from you. - Would you have watched it if it wasn't Zach Efron? - Mm-hmm. - Nice, I like that. - He did a good job in it though. - I didn't, I'm not unaware of it. I don't watch many things. - No. - I watch mostly pro wrestling from the early 2000s and then I live Lucy in King of the Hill. And then the occasionally the show will grab me and then I will watch all of it. But then I, I shouldn't know and I had autism a long time ago probably. - Wrestling from the 2000s. Yeah, that's a good one. I love Lucy's good. I miss TV land. When I was growing up, I had TV land on my TV and I would watch Mr. Ed, the anti-grifit show. I dream of Jeannie. But which, like I would watch all these old shows. Why aren't, why haven't those made it to the streamers yet? - It's a good question. They really pick, I mean, I love Lucy is on Paramount Plus, which makes sense. But yeah, so many of them are hard to find. It's the one thing that sucks is when you, when you have an option of everything and so the value is lower and you lose that discovery of just like, "Oh, I'm forced to have this cultural knowledge "of green acres and Benny Hill "because that's what came on." And what my grandparents were watching, you know? I miss that type of stuff. - I know, I do too. You like, there was one show I was really surprised. You can't even find now on streamers. It was like, is it Westworld? It's like an HBO show. But like, AI, real life robot people? - That's not findable. - Apparently. - Is that what's happening? It's going to happen more and more. Physical media is coming back. - I want to get a VCR. - Are you sure? - I'm like, when I have kids, I just want a little TV with a VCR. I've still got all my old movies. We'll let them pop it in. They don't get instant gratification. They got to rewind those tapes. Like, we're going to really have to work for it. - Yeah, work for it. - Yeah, work for our TV time. Question though, about sharing information. - Sure. - Did you, you know when you were in Rob, we're playing chess in there? Did you ever feel like he was close to telling you? 'Cause like, Everett and Hindsight has been like, it seemed like Rob was about to tell Ron that he was a traitor. - I don't think he would have ever told me directly, but I do think that was him both fishing and at the same time, probably feeling a little bit of the weight of it, because it is hard to, I mean, I wasn't a traitor, so I wouldn't know that aspect of it, but I imagine if you are a good person, like I know him to be, it is hard to continuously just lie to a bunch of people. And then just even the way he ended up not voting for me, which was so fun, and I loved watching it play out when I already knew that he had won, you know? - Yeah. - And watching everybody be like, "Oh, he just ruined this game and why would he do that?" And I'm like, "Hey, it is Mark gameplay." Everybody was already starting to think that Lisa was a traitor, so why would he not vote for her? And then B, it also just was like, he's a good person, and he could see that people were being a bit rude to me and isolating me, and he knew that if he had voted for me at that moment, that I would have been like you too, and he was like, "I don't wanna do that." - No, watching you eat alone, like, I was just like heartbreaking for so many of us out there. - I appreciate that. - And it's like everyone needs a little recharge, but like you, you got bullied. - Yeah, I agree with you. But it led to great things because then other people who could see what was going on, even through some of the editing, which makes it like, you know. - Yeah, the edit of it all too. - Yeah, so to have people still be like, "Oh, we see what's going on," and that's not cool. - They clocked it. - Made me feel really good. - Yeah. - And the amount of support and love I've gotten from it outside of it. To me, it's just like, you know, bad week of work. You don't always like the people you work with. I'm cool with that. I just wouldn't ever have made it that personal. I wouldn't not have eaten. Well, you know, when the second day, I figured out Donna was a traitor, still hung out with her, still ate with her, you know. And there was no reason to meet over a game to ever treat people the way some of those people treated me. - No, it's insane. And there is a little bit of the glass half full with it where like it literally led you to kind of discovering things about yourself, like autism. And you like then can relate more to your child. And I saw, I think it was like the today show you went on or CBS or something like that. - So CBS is more the New York King, yeah. - And you were like, it was just kind of nice because like now with my son, like, I'm in the pool swimming with him. Like I get it now and it was just a really cool analogy. So it's nice that at least that came out of such a tumultuous experience. - Yeah, yeah, I agree with you. It's just, you know, I'm glad people got to see it. I had to see me and I'm glad of what I got to see in myself that I stuck to my goal that I never lost. - Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. - Right to anyone that I always, that I still tried to play the game and be helpful even when other people were being to me. And that I could show something to my son's angle, like even when you're under stress and duress, like this is how you act as a man. This is how you treat people. - I love that. That's a really, really good point and amazing that that like was your goal too to go in and like, I'm gonna just be me, not lie. And you held on to that. I love that. Okay, I've got one last story for you. - Okay. - Okay. This is pretty recent coming from a couple weeks ago. It is titled, Am I the asshole? If I ruin my sister's honeymoon by telling her that her husband was caught kissing someone else. Throw away account. My sister was recently married over the weekend. And she is now on her honeymoon in Aruba. She asked me before she left to develop the disposable cameras that she had on each table for the guest to take their own pictures of the reception. It was an outdoor event in which I was the maid of honor. Everything was beautiful. No problems at all throughout the whole night. At the end of the night, each guest went to their respective lodgings as it was a remote wedding near a hotel. My sister texted me instructions to pick up the disposable cameras from the coordinator and have them developed because she wanted to put together a slideshow when she returned. I had them developed and I was flipping through them and I came across an image of my brother-in-law kissing a mysterious woman. I have stared at this photo for what must be an hour and I can't place the woman he's kissing. Once more, it's kind of blurry like maybe it was taken in a hurry, Sort of. out of focus, but just focused enough that I can place his face. There's no doubt about it. This man is my brother-in-law. This is my sister's husband. From the tux, to his loafers, to the wedding band, I've flipped through the rest of the pictures, and he is the only one wearing a very specific tie that's sort of a running joke between him and my sister. I've started passively asking around about this woman at her wedding, and I told our side that I wanted to reach out to her about some services that she said she provided, obvious lie. But no one knows who she is, and she is only in two photos. One is a side profile. The other is her kissing my brother-in-law. This was a very passionate, yet secret kiss. It was taken outside of the tent where the reception was held just far away enough that no one would have seen them near the tree line. They're holding each other. I don't know if I'm taking this out of context. Maybe I am. My brother-in-law is a great guy. So I don't like that I'm automatically jumping to conclusions, but this is a very uncomfortable photo. The way it was taken was suspect too, because it's slightly out of focus. Why? Like whoever took it knew that they were catching something inappropriate. For reference, the outdoor restrooms were near the tree line. Unfortunately, there is no way to trace who used each disposable camera. It was a spur of the moment idea my sister got after watching a TikTok. So I have no way of asking the person who took the photo and how they came across them and why. But I have a nagging feeling. Would I be the asshole if I called her while she's on her honeymoon to tell her what I found? Should I wait until she returns and present her with the photo? I can't supply more details here, because I have family members that actively use Reddit. Any advice would be appreciated. Another TikTok trend. Fucking everybody's life. (laughs) I mean, why would he think it's okay to kiss the mistress on the disposable camera? That to me makes me feel like there's gotta be something more to it, because even if you were cheating, hey, why would the person you're cheating wouldn't want to come to your wedding? Oh, it's their last shot. You think so? Oh, yeah. They're in there right before he walks down the aisle. I'm willing to believe that. Choose me, pick me. But then I don't think that they're gonna, like, kiss someone openly out at this wedding. I know I understand they're saying it was out. To answer the question, I would wait and I would just put the photos with the, with the slideshow and just, (laughs) You, you're a devious. Yeah. In the slideshow? Yeah, why not? So she finds out the first time as she's clicking through a slideshow, what if there's, what if everyone's there? Then, to me, that's the time you want to do it. 'Cause, hey, you're not gonna be, he's not gonna be able to prepare and come up with some weird lie. Oh, that's true. You have backup to be like, what is this? Or, see, you know what it is. Who knows? Maybe she knows who that is. I don't know. I mean, some people kiss their cousins on the mouth. Could be cousin, could be an ex or something? I don't know. Hmm. I don't know. I don't know either. I, but I wouldn't ruin their honeymoon. I know. Definitely not. No, some people would probably be like, well, they're on their honeymoon. They're away from the world. It would give them a chance to hash it out. But I'm like, her life's about to blow up when she gets back. Let her have one nice week in Aruba. Yeah. Just one nice week. I don't know if I would be balsy enough to do the slideshow. I think that's a little. Had a little wonky. For me, for me, you kind of give pot stirrer. Yeah. That's why I think you could handle that. Yeah. My anxiety would be too great. But I'd wait until she gets back and just like, say, hey, can we go grab dinner? Can we catch up? And I'd slide the photo across the table and be like, do you know this person? Maybe the side profile picture first. Mm-hmm. Do you know this person? Oh, nice. And then if she's like, oh, yeah, that's John's cousin. Melissa. Then you don't even go with the second one. Yeah, you just, you say, are they pretty close? Like kissing cousin's close. Ooh. And then she's like, why do you ask? And then you slide the second one across the table. I like how you did it. You're a good detective. Slide. Yeah. Yeah, I love a clue. Yeah, I could tell. I love a clue. Yeah, you really said that. You were like, boom. I mean, you lead you and then hit you with the big bomb at the end. I like your style. I don't think you're doing much different than when I'm doing it. Just not out in public. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to-- because I love my sister, I wouldn't want to embarrass her. She's excited to relive her wedding, which was so fun. And then all of a sudden, it's like-- I mean, also, my reason for the slideshow aspect of it then is to me, I don't want to look like a weirdo who is like-- Suspicious. Yeah, I want to just be like, I just-- it was in here. I didn't even know. And like, oh, this is an issue. Oh, I didn't know. I thought that was OK. I mean, you took a picture of it. Yeah. It was in the pictures. That's my point of it. I don't have to be like, boom, because then I don't want him to be like, oh, that's so-and-so. Yeah. Oh, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry. It was a dare. I took that picture. You know, or something. Whatever it could be. Yeah. Some people are swingers. They could be swingers. That's what I'm so. And you just don't know. Exactly. The wedding day is a wild day to swing. Yeah. I don't know. Just another Tuesday or Saturday for them. Yeah. Yeah. Top comment on this one. Well, you would be the asshole if you didn't tell her at all. But since you're planning to let her know, the time in place is really up to your discretion. So not the asshole, I guess. But for safety reasons, it might be for the best to wait until after they come back from the honeymoon, at least in case the worst case scenario, then your sister will be closer to family. I'll take your word that your brother-in-law is a great guy, and you probably think he's never been violent, but don't let your guard down just yet, considering that he now might not be the great guy you all came to know. Better safe than sorry. No one knows what this man is capable of when emotions get high. Man, I have the worst reputation. They're immediately like, don't, he might kill her. Like, what? He's going to go to hell for that quick. That's wild. But I'm not saying that it won't happen now. You know. But we got bad rap. We got bad rap. But even for me, I will say that's a bit of a stretch. That feels like a last-a-girl. Like, you're really, you're pulling there. Someone responds to someone said, sad, but excellent comment. I don't know. No, I feel like I also sometimes, like, when you go on a date, I mean, I understand having a check-in and being like, I want a check-in safe, but sometimes the lady will tell you. And I'm just like, well, then maybe we just shouldn't ever go on this date if you feel like you're not safe. Yeah. Then you should go home and wear your safe. I got you a crime podcast called Clues and I learn a lot of crazy stuff about these cases every week and you can't be too sure. No, I agree. Like, sometimes, you know, people flip a switch and you just, people, you know, snap. I agree. Protect yourself overall. I understand. Yeah. Yeah. Someone goes, wait until you can tell her in person. If you tell her while she's on her trip, he's going to deny, deny, deny, deny, with plenty of time to put the blame on you in the meantime, keep searching for the mystery woman. And OP responds, I do plan on finding this mystery woman and I hope that I'm seeing this photo out of context, but I won't give her the photos or say anything until she returns. Yeah. I wouldn't keep start to me. And that's what I'm saying. You don't know the context of the photos. So why search for the woman, like, just present the evidence you have. Yeah. You need to, now you're out there playing detective, then it's just like, this is a thrill for you. I know you're kind of trying now a little too hard. Yeah. Like, if your sister deems it worthy to look further than let her. Yeah. Yeah. I know. OP's like, I'm waiting to hear back from a few people who might know her. There is a guest list, but it may raise concerns if I ask for it. I don't want to do anything rash. Yeah. But like, she's already considering like, oh, there's a guest list. Yeah. I could look at that. But she's too in there. She's, no, she needs to just wait, give these pictures, and then other than that, just leave it alone. Also, if this is a mistress or someone he's been cheating with, I don't think she's going to be on the guest list. She could have been a crusher. That's a good point. You don't know? Yeah. She would have to be real dumb to be like, also put me on the guest list. Yeah. Yeah. She's not on that guest list. We do get a little bit of a mini update. I've gotten a few comments about the photo, blurry, maybe is a hyperbole, but he was holding this woman while kissing her, hands on the small of her back, and one just above her ass. So yes, they were intimate. Also from the comments I'm receiving, I won't be sharing what I know until she returns. There were some comments about my brother-in-law painting me as the bad guy if I tell her now, which is valid. I'll continue to look for this mystery woman in the meantime. But for now, I'll keep this on the DL so far, I'm the only one who knows. Yeah, almost makes me feel like less is going on because of the hand on the smaller of the back. That's kind of an intimate spot. It's intimate, but if you're out there cheating on a thing, you're going to put the hand on the ass. Oh, you're going full cheek. I think so. If you're going for it at that point, you're catching a quick passionate thing in your and so you're going boom, boom, boom, get a little bit higher. We get asked to get out of there, yeah, but if you're just going smaller back to me, that's less than to me I can see that now. Thank you. I'm maybe we'll do a poll on this one. Do you think he was kissing a cousin or some relative Maybe crazy Aunt Lisa came by and wanted to kiss on the lips or is he cheating? I Think it's a third option What's up swinger? I'd either swinger or this was a old lover of his That is was still important to him and she's obviously thinks that he's important to her And so they had this like embrace that's kind of like them Be like well, I'm letting you go off into your marriage But they had this little embrace. I can see that I'll put a poll you guys can vote. We'll see what we think. I love a poll - Ron, thank you so much for coming on. It was fun. I agree to that. This was so fun. Yeah, this was so good What else are you working on? Do you do you want to share anything? Do you want to send everyone a certain direction? Yeah, I mean my YouTube is good. Anything around funches on all socials just go and do that on YouTube on Instagram Wherever TikTok and then come see me. I'm on a road. I'm on a tour my faithful tour talking trash about some of the people from the Traders and then talking about my life in my family. It's a fun show. It's doing very well So coming by tickets. I'm going all over the United States So and also the UK Com for that. I love it. You're doing like Netflix as a joke You I saw your schedule. You're line up. You're busy. I stay busy. Your books. I'm busy. I try. I love it Got to be all of Ron's links will be in the description super easy to find check out a show the stand-up bits Incredible. I mean, there's so much I could hit on with your your stand-up. I love the fact that you're in a conspiracy theories the koala thing really scared me But really really really fun stand-up. So be sure to check it out you guys and other than that until next time Bye Oh Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plump. 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