Pete Lee & Jeremiah Watkins - Listen To The Chunk - Episode 958

"It's everywhere I go. I can't escape it. Ads. Ads everywhere. Trying to sell me something new every day. But it's not the product that's the problem. It's the time, time, time, time. Time I'll never get back. Listening to Zippercrooter and me undies ads. I'm not crazy. I've done the math. By the time you die you will have spent an entire year and a half just watching ads. They stole my time. Now I'm going to have my revenge. We have to end this broken system haunted by the remnants of what it could have been. But as my plan was coming together, I spotted it. A slightly cheaper alternative to building a time machine to end capitalism. GasDigital.com. With all your favorite podcasts at free and uncensored, finally I can listen to all my favorite shows without getting interrupted by Shopify or Better Help. So I guess my plans can wait. Subscribe to GasDigital.com for thousands of uncensored and ad-free shows featuring your favorite comics. And save your plans for another day. Fill her up. You're listening to the GasDigital Network. Get in the crowd, hyped up. What's up everybody? It is your favorite podcast. To my right is always the great Steve Rennaz easy. Steve For Life. Steve For Life. Of course, the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake Lewis J. Gomez. And I'm Big J Elkerson and we are the legendary Legion of Skanks. What the fuck is up? Three For Life. You came on a great night. We have a fun show lined up. We always have a fun show lined up. You know what? That's why it's everyone's favorite podcast. Yeah, that's why it's everyone's favorite podcast. You hear that? Are you garbage and stavros? Everybody shots fired, dude. Fucking pussy's bitches. We've been around for so long. We have an amazing guess we're going to get up here right now so we can get rolling on today's show. He's got a special tall dark and pleasant available on showtime and he is currently on tour. How about it? Rejoining the show. The great Pete. What's up Pete? I don't mind telling you that's a very smart shirt you have on. Thank you. You're also are you grayer since I've seen you? Yeah, I'm I'm turning into Sean Patton of why did you guys see a poltergeist together? I miss being I miss being on here. You guys are a reverent. You're like the boys from Sprite list. Yeah, we don't take we take the prisoners over here. I feel like I feel like we're calling you Peter. This isn't a Pete. It's a young man's name. Yeah, I'm 49. I just turned 49 and yeah, your skin is fucking great for 49. Well, thank you. It's come. It's a lot of common. Is it really? Yeah, I take this constant come. Yeah, Wisconsin come. Okay, but no, you look great. When I see you, I'm like, does he even have pours? No, dude. It's pretty bad. But I get it though. I get how 49. I mean, I'm more gray now. I feel. Do you feel older? Do you feel like? I don't know. I don't feel any different. Like I don't know. I feel just as shitty as I did in my 20s and we get AARP things next year. Really? Yes. Pretty 15 years old. If 50 years old, they send you the AARP. Are you 49? Yeah, you're in your 48. Yeah, these are oldest. Fuck holy shit. I'm beautiful. Wow, dude. You look worse than of all for us. I told you. That's why we had to start at 5 p.m. today. I am. I am. I thought he was 43. I thought it's going to put you. That's a big compliment. No, that is. I love that. I'm a boy. I'm a young boy. What? You really are. But I think you look great. It's from all the fucking enough. I'm not pulling out. It's from all that Puerto Rican property. Yeah, dude. Why come on my own face? Which happens more often than you think. Dude, you coming on your own face? When's the last time you came on your own face? Not on purpose. It has been since I've been with my girlfriend. Yeah, I accidentally like she aimed it right at your face. No, it was just like, by the way, that's a good prostate. That's a brand new slingshot. 49-year-old man coming on his face is really awesome. Impressive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll say this. I don't get the kind of distance I have. Married coming is just kind of like it just drops down. Like it actually it's like a lava. It's like lava from like a little kid science project. But now I know my come is like a little kid science project. I agree. No, it shoots out. It's red. Well, it'll be volcano. Listen, we could put some fucking baking soda and vinegar in my dick hole. Or you can just suck it out. No, it'll be like if I if I haven't rocked one out in a couple days. Right. Yeah. And rocking it out does sound better than. Yeah. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Jerk is coming off after being. But you know, I've talked about this plenty of times. I put, I put a towel on my stomach. Whoa. I'm pretty ambitious. I shoot into the towel. And if you, what if you don't get it there? You're like, what the fuck? And then, so imagine this is my cock. This is my stomach. When I come in the towel, then I wrap it over it. You just wipe it, fold it, throw it into the, I miss, usually miss the hamper. And that my dog starts licking it. And that's not me. When I slam ham. When I'm punching cock, I, I just finish and then it runs down my dick onto my hands. And then I just fucking take it up the shaft. Oh, look. Oh, like squeegee. And then I take this little puddle to the bathroom. And then you shower squeegee. And you do what? No, no, I go to the sink and I fucking throw it at Christine. Do you ever do a thing? I'm sick. I feel good. I'm gonna need some day quill. That's the new mucinix guy. Oh, God. Everything's leaking. But once in a while, if it's been a couple days, and I do a lot of like, when I'm jerking off, so I've shot it into my room, man, seeing yourself. Well, I, who and I, because I'm pleasureing myself, you don't, who and I when you master, what do you do? When I come, when I come, I barely try to make a, I do this when I come, I go, I have to let it out. Like, I'm letting air slow. Yes. I go, I'm from Wisconsin. So I go, oh, yeah. I was with my, there you go. I was with my gal. And I had the most Wisconsin come the other day. I had no self awareness. I go, oh, yeah. It's not kidding. Like not doing badgers. Oh, yeah. What are you doing? I do like, I like, I make a sound like I'm lifting weights. So that way it could be like I was doing pushups. I'm like, I'm going to. It's a real, I'll let it out. See, but we have once in a while, I'll be owing and eyeing and then it'll shoot and then it'll land in my mouth that I go, I did all my check. We were having phone sex. This happened in the past few months. And I, or, you know, FaceTime, you know, FaceTime, because we're a long distance. And I shot and it hit me right in the mouth. And she left harder than I've ever seen anyone. Yeah, she really, she had a real kick out of it. What did you do? What did you do? Do you throw up? Yeah, I know. I got to tell you, I love a big load. That's why I recommend everybody go watch the new Peter North documentary on Apple TV. You really do love a big load. I thought you were going to do an ad for better health. Yeah, I was like, what's going to we shit? I'm going to pull up my readers. Peter North, though, that documentary did make me happy because he had to admit it's so funny. Did I tell you this already? He had on the show. Yeah, that he had to admit that he did gay stuff. And then it's just him, obviously, doing gay stuff. Oh, you don't really have to admit it when it's video of you doing gay stuff one time. I knew I shot it high on the like up here. So I went to see where I hit it. And as I turn my face. Oh, smear. It was right again. It was like right next to me. It was like a Rorschach painting. It was tied in my face. Yeah, it was bad. I thought it's a butterfly. I had a surprise. Not like I guess pretty long ago now, but shot over a girl hit a headboard in a hotel, which was pretty impressive. But I mean, that's called a top gun. They do a flyback. Yeah, both the tower. Yeah, buses. Yeah, but my my comb. I'm lucky if I like I'm happy if I just get a very dense one that falls down hard. But it's not going to go the way we all hope I have. You want a heft. I have a, you know, be a big. It's like a whole puddle comes out at once. That's my best. That's my best. Wait a minute. Aren't we supposed to dry out or come and have one of the interns snored it? Whatever happened to that. Well, I hope you're wasting all of yours and fucking stomach paper towels. I'm fucking I'm holding mine like this and walking into the bathroom And I'm right. I know it was and this segment is brought to you by uncrustibles Most of mine goes in my wife Inside still. Yeah, well, yeah, where else is gonna go? What do you just let Jesus take the wheel? No, no Yeah, yeah, I don't pull out No, no, I don't know I'm 49 and my girlfriend she was going what if we have a baby? I'm like I'm gonna be a dad for like a little while Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're like I'm not gonna have to worry about fucking pain for this kid's weight At first the years rule then you're dead. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like I'm a drinker. Yeah, it'd be a memory It only started sucking when they turned 13 apparently now is the only the only time me and James have ever bumped heads Has been now I've only had accidental Pregnancy's ever nothing's ever been on purpose once we only had one pregnancy only got another abortion. Yeah, Borsh Borsh Borsh it on our fucking right wing fans are losing it right now. No, no, I wouldn't do it now. I want to raise that idiot Do you think that now that you have money like back when you didn't have money where you're like yeah, Borsh And now you're like oh, yeah, I can afford one. Yeah, now a Borsh Yeah, Borsh I thought a Borsh with my daughter. I had but I didn't say that loud I went to my ex-wife. I went whatever you want to do and she goes let's do it and I went It's probably not what I would have said, but okay. Let's do it. I Thought of Borsh with my daughter now. I was the opposite. I when I found out Beatrice was pregnant I was like we're having a baby. She was like it's my body. Maybe we should have a conversation I was like it's not your body bitch. You're fucking taking my seed and you're gonna give birth to him. Yeah, let's choose to like that No, yeah, and then you change her to a radiator. Yeah, that was all nine months. That was in the Brooklyn bridge Yeah, that's in the birds of the bees It's amazing. That's how you get her to do it. You go you're what we call a breeder. Yeah. Yeah No, I I asked my wife you go you want to have a let's have a bet we try you tried to have a baby and then we did it like a Four days later. Wow. No, she up right away right away. That's a fucking ran as easy And then the second like the second time was like yeah, I guess we might as well have another one Yeah, and then that was it. I got a sec to me like five days after that. Oh, yeah, I was there when you proposed I was there that's right there when you got a sec to me. Yeah, I was he proposed to his wife at premium left premium Really, that's right at the shittiest comedy central credit you could get why there was a big deal There's a big fucking deal back then dude the worst one you could get These kids the first one you could get I have four minutes on comedy central now's time to propose Miss Lewis's age is right in the thing difference from us that that is the way it works like it be live at Gotham Yeah, we think it's a premium blend seems like because this is what Lewis's time to come. It just came past that but when I got premium But I was like I did it. Oh, yeah, yeah, I got I got Wanted to kill myself. I hosted live at Gotham and I fucked up Dan Soder's name Wow, wow, how'd you possibly? Soder. Yeah, so like Don Soder. Yeah, down Soder Bobby Kelly hosted my oh no Gotham comedy live. It wasn't live Gotham Bobby Kelly was the host. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, the TV one Yeah, you're like a regular person. Yeah Here I go I'm a regular person. I know you were hosting. I went to that. I went to Dan's Live at Gotham. Oh really? Yeah dude Soder's so funny every time that I sit down and I just hanging chat with Soder I'm like how are you so fucking funny in person because he's got a funny voice dude I just don't even in clips It's gotta the deepness of it. It's like he's in slow motion, but he talks so fast Peehee your ex-wife was really great too. Also, why don't we talk about her for a while? I can't legally talk about her. He called Bobby a regular person. It's like but Soder's great Soder's great. Yeah, well he left me. He didn't want to deal with me. I do. I love Bobby Kelly a lot Of course. Yeah, but he is my ex-wife Bobby Kelly coming Bobby Kelly. I was on his podcasting. He goes if you've ever been Fucking woman that's married and you came on her wedding ring Well, that's obviously someone just trying to get to his story about doing that. Yeah It's such a specific thing. Yeah, yeah, sorry. You know last week and you ever fuck two hot 25-year-olds You ever do that last weekend You want to hear my story? Yeah, I love Bobby Kelly. I was just being a goose. Yeah, I was being a total goose He's my new wife, Dan Soder's old news. Yeah, yes, I guess you do a show of them But whatever. Tell him I said hi. I don't care. I didn't realize the connection. I didn't realize I forgot Yeah, that is the connection why you brought up by okay, okay, yeah, cuz Dan left you. Yeah, and left you I legally can't talk about a Pete But yeah, now how's he doing? He's doing so good crushing it. He was right. He looks great. He made the right move Yeah, I saw him frown the other day and I know he got off a sinking ship at his serious XM radio What are you talking about? That's a future it's the future. Yeah, dude. It is their satellites guys that space Do you guys remember when you so I went on the bonfire and we're I was talking about my stalker that I had And then I legally couldn't talk about like wanting to kill him or anything like that. It was a him Yeah, it was a him I have a female soccer. I don't I don't know you know what I wanted to mention anymore Let's say I feel like now she knows she does, but you guys don't know the the aftermath of that Well, I know what I thought was interesting. I'll say about the of it was it was happening actively Mm-hmm, and you were telling us that you had this is what we had fun with I know John Wicks style You have guns placed strategically all throughout your house in different places. You can go. Okay, look I don't want any trouble behind the fridge gun. Yeah Wow, I literally next to my bed I had a magnum mounted sig and and I and so but I can't I couldn't I couldn't legally talk about wanting to kill him And I also had a I had to re up my restraining order against him and he had like broken in my house and like I woke up When what? Wait a minute. Hold on. Wait a minute. This dude. Why haven't I heard any of this story? Um, because you're the stalker because you think you're like I'm going to go visit Pete You keep saying I don't think he wants you there breaking your house. I walked in the kids under the man Dude can I ask how did you because I don't know this story? How did you how did he become a stalker of you? Okay, so he had only stalked and raped and killed women before me and I was his first male victim No, and he saw like my my like tonight show persona. Hey, oh my god It's Pete and he's like, oh, this would be it. This is gonna be easy. He's gonna realize that like I'm a former martial artist and And like I could kill him and and so he started picking on me and tried to break into my house But hold on how do the first contact? Yeah, where do you what do you mean online, right? Do you guys know fucking? I'm also I'm very I'm very happy you brought to being a martial artist because we have Chun Lee here tonight In an ultimate battle. Yes, oh the pool player. Yes, the black widow black widow And she's dating Zangeef apparently. Yeah, holy shit. So you're a monster He somehow handsome and yet 80% for it. I know You are the biggest guy that ever to wear a chef's pants That's the only reason she's allowed the day to white man because he clearly has a giant brain. Yeah I that wow, what a lugs blitter. All right. Let's think a quick moment of thank Ridge wallet for supporting the show We love Ridge The planet, but I got to talk about their power bank, which I literally bring everywhere I go now it has three chargers on it So you can use the mag safe thing we could do the plug with the USB-C to it's got the old one as well if you have an old iPhone or lightning and USB-C you charge your eye watch on it as well You charge up the three of us three charges on it's you charge up to three devices out at the same time Which is called Apple watch grandpa? Oh Shit It's just absolutely great. They have different colors like base camp orange all of green I have the matte black one which is super cool because I'm got I got an iPod recently. Do you hear? Because you guys hear about zoom charge one of those you put all your music into a zoom yeah The Ridge power bank comes with free shipping and the 99 day risk-free trial It's the the best power bank you're ever going to get. There's everything they make is the best quality Yeah, the wall is the luggage luggage incredible the luggage the wall. It's it's they're a fantastic company one thing to pack five ways to power Right now all you got to do is you got to go to Ridge dot com and use the promo code LOS 10 You can get 10% off your order today get them all but I say grab that power bank right now. Well, they're in stores now They're in all their best by which they're best by so it's like they're a plate But you will not get that deal at best by why not save the money. Yeah, yeah 10% off Ridge dot com code LOS 10 to check out Check them out. Let them know we sent you what's up Skanks. I want to take a second to thank underdog Empatees, that's right. That's right. You do everything to try and reduce the use of plastic. Don't you everyone does I do I Hate it. I try to do all my milks in a bag now. Yeah, I do I do we do a Canadian thing at my house But you're close. What do you do about your clothes? You make all your wardrobe all natural with underdogs hamplank Tees. Yeah, you're right dude. I do hate my plastic shirts that are usually wear. Yeah, my pleasure is sucked Dude hamster is the best dude. Yeah, they're all disgusting. I keep bragging about owning these t-shirts when I keep DMing Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey They love that they love what a Humanitarian you are. Do they love hamper? They love playing fucking bongers were dicks out. Yeah, I love I love super comfortable clothes though Yeah, they're made with the signature fabric 51% hamper durability 31% bamboo for breedability. Who knew that? 18% organic cotton for comfort. That's it. That's all the noise. It's 100% for breedability Yeah, because when girls see you in these dude, you are gonna be crushing ass And that's a 99 day free guarantee no polyester no micro plastic shedding every time you wash just natural fibers built to last if it's nice they sent me one oh it's incredible if it's really really nice wash is nice too they offer a lifetime warranty on all the teas if it ever rips or wears out they replace it how great is that you've never seen that before free just buy them and then every year tear it off your body like hulk hulk or then say give me another one yeah and just send a note back says I'm a real American I need a new shirt what are your favorite t-shirt today for a limited time Legion of Skanks fans are getting up to 30% off wow at underdog.com that's UNDR under UNDR dog DOG.com that's UNDR DOG.com underdog.com for up to 30% off check them out today hey Skanks fans real quick is thank one of our amazing sponsors for tonight's show and that is in the cloud everybody there's a knock on your door is it a vampire what is it zombies oh no it's just the in the cloud delivery guy let him in quick they're bringing tricks and treats to you right now all season long in the cloud has zero sugar THC sodas these guys are absolutely amazing and it's such great products for watching horror movies in the couch you can use their vape cartridges they're scary good by the way scary good scary vape and beast mode all in ones plus extra strength sleep gummies you can sleep like the dead after you like me error terrified of the movie you just watch and have to fall asleep in the cloud is fantastic product oh my god it's legally it's legal him THC delivered right to your door everything is lab tests and mother approved it really is incredible guys it gets you super duper high there's always smoke on the show here's a watching is getting high on the show all the time yeah it's just in the cloud week now if you're 21 or older go to in the cloud dot CO that's dot CO dot com and use the code skanks for 30% off your first subscription order wow that's wow in the cloud dot CO code skanks for subscriptions ships regularly and discreetly with gifts and free shipping on qualifying offers after you order felt a survey and say lead in a skank sent you enjoy responsibly and thanks to Andy cloud let's get back into it so first first contact how do this guy contact you um so I was at the pool at my at my condo complex or like I had a house on the ocean brag and uh and he was skateboarding around the complex wearing a rainbow bikini on a long board wearing snowboarding goggles and winter hat classic stalker and I'm sitting there at the pool with my accent trying to blend in yeah yeah just blending it I'm sitting there by the pool with uh Annie Letterman and my ex girlfriend and Annie's like oh hey you look interesting come over here yeah but she had Annie's voice she's like oh hey oh hey hey go watch get over here and get over here and get over here you're wearing dressed all over it get over here I have this voice because my little tits just pull on my board so yeah guess what Pete's phone or bull's hell is by himself yeah and uh it was really great I've heard of him right in this he's already seen you on TV at this point yeah he's seen me on TV and so you are there for a reason you had issues with him already oh I've had issues no same up saying before before the Annie since I've never met him never met him ever most of the puddle in the neighborhood so he lived in my neighborhood you didn't always him when Annie called him oh I didn't know that he was him I didn't know that he killed his mom when she had a restrainer no I'm good I'll take a bump but anyway um sorry I that's the only drug I don't do okay squares um get Pete a bump for the love of God let's get Pete cocaine can somebody please pull out some cocaine you guys are fucking nerd is this not New York City by the way by the way if somebody pull out cocaine right now I'd be like oh no oh no fentanyl I gotta drive oh my god every fucking square would be with fentanyl do you can buy fentanyl test strips on Amazon for $9 really you're gay yeah yeah yeah yeah you need to do the original fentanyl test you just give it to the guy in the circle you like the least that's what I've always I always have the rose to do it first that's the move that is the hands down move half the rose to try your code that's what I always do yeah if the rose doesn't are frothed at the mouth in five minutes you're like I'll do it yeah I have to get rid of I have so many drugs that a fan gave me I have to get rid of them let me see if I'll take some it seems like a contest it's Molly cocaine no yes no no backwards yes no yes no and then sassafras gee Alex you're pregnant you're not taking any of these fucking drugs I'm not gonna be pregnant forever Lewis what sassafras Alex tell me do I take Lewis to sassafras look at you Alex you know we took sassafras at the tool concert I did yes we have the designer drugs remember it was like it was like Molly meets acid what is it gee what is it what is it is it a pill now this is some like crystals sassafras sounds like a spice you guys know my best friend is the bass player tool really just a chance just in chancellor yeah he gave when when we went to Paris he gave me five grams of mushrooms and I was tripping my balls out and there's a song invincible and at nine thirty five like the best chord progression happens and I always ask him I'm like we have an agreement or friendship he doesn't ask me about comedy and I don't ask him about music you don't ask him about being in tool that's crazy we talk about it we talk only reason to be friends with the guy from the way for ironically invincible is a song about coming to grips with getting older yeah as we all are yeah and uh yeah Justin Silver showed me a song he was like this one hits me that's not how we said it this one hits me that's one hands me this one hits me this one hits me I used to work with dogs but now I'm funny uh sorry are you guys don't know him anyway um everyone there's so they don't think it's funny that was the problem but he uh yeah he gave me uh there's this guy that does psilocybin tic-tacs and so I'm over in Paris I flew over just for the show and uh and I'm do I'm tripping balls up and at nine thirty five of invincible so he he won't talk to me I'm like do you just tell all I want to know about is nine thirty five in invincible just tell me about how you fucking wrote that because he wrote that song and uh and he's like might we don't talk every every one of my fucking friends ever is like how do you reach this core he's British it's too British no he's British yeah he's from I was like tools that British he is but he's like Mike and fucking no they're the fuck of the weird literally I believe if I have this right but he was somebody's but I'm pretty sure Maynard was a guy on the couch of Danny Kerry the drummer and he was like we have these songs and he was like you think you got any lyrics for these and he was like sure you guys never heard about the Jesus strain of DNA and then he writes lyrics about that kind of she was the guy on the couch yeah it's pretty weird yeah Maynard is brilliant and but he was like a shithead that was on their couch yeah and yeah I mean Maynard is brilliant he's reclusive who played the guy on the couch in half baked um Stephen Wright is the what if Stephen Wright sang for tool I'm praying for I'm praying for title warrior struggle and I'll keep sinking to lie that's a good bit that's a deal this is a good bit fuck everyone here you have no cocaine I'll tell you how cool I know we're sure if it's true you might know it's been inside information on this I probably I think it's pretty I think it's pretty big knowledge now though if they're genuinely doing a residency at the sphere next year it will be the first time ever that I get on a plane to go see a shit I'll go with you I have to see that's good they're gonna use those screens in a way we've never seen it but by the way lately I've been watching shows tool he's been performing daytime during some festivals and being like front and center which is like yeah this thing they had I saw them at Osfester in the day back in the day like 99 but he was front he was front stage then yeah now he now he's always back at stage but now they're going on in the daytime so like he's you can see him it's very he wore like a white mask and he was being all fucking weird and crouchy like column yeah I love it now he's walking on stage with a fucking cane which is embarrassing itself it's it's got four pranks it's a hurry can it does have fucking four pranks yeah why why that's that's a surgery or so that's not forever hold on getting away from you being stalked yeah go I shit oh yeah it's right you had guns wait but can I get back to the wait the 935 story so um so he won't talk to me about it and I'm I'm I'm I'm with uh I'm with my manager uh I won't say my manager's name but we're both on the same one but that's gonna be won't say yeah that's the name one was eight but uh but so Justin in invincible like 935 is coming up and I'm like I I'm like a fucking pom pom girl I'm like it's coming up it's coming up and I'm I'm tripping my goddamn dick off and uh and uh and uh and Justin I'm like that camera that's how close I am to him in this arena full of 20,000 people in Paris and uh and then he invites Adam over and then they just point at me right before 935 and then they start playing the riff and I start crying and jumping up and down with my manager like like like like like two sorority girls that just took them all yeah yeah yeah what's a trump dance dude yeah yeah oh yeah I was trump dancing uh and I thank god those loads dribbled and didn't shoot yeah shoot rockets you did the w but I I came backstage and Justin I walked up and I go 935 he goes that's all you're gonna fucking get and so you won't tell you the story yeah you won't tell me how he wrote that right it's amazing uh can we hear 935 in that song because I need I mean I'm good song yeah you got to hear the lyrics that the lyrics for whatever reason don't hit me but like I I you got to you got to play at least 10 seconds leading up to it to let the build up how long before we get to hear first by the way because Steve I'm also assuming has also backed into this if tool plays the thing we'll announce the date that the legion of skanks are gonna go live live live live and we'll do a live show in Vegas I've never seen tool oh buddy they're unbelievable they're good I mean look they're amazing slightly overrated lines now he's wrong he's wrong while they talk about like I said I'm in the speed I never even see anything in the speed either of me either yeah I went with Burt to go see the dead and And there's a part where they take off in the space. And I was-- - It was surprising. - Oh, we were crying. We both were crying. - Of course, he was crying. - But we were holding the railing 'cause it feels like you're in a rocket going up. - Oh, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? - It's very emotional. - Here's what we're knowing about this fear that I don't know if people who've gone though. 'Cause they have such different, like, people that are doing the residencies are so far different in genres. But because-- - No doubt was just there. - Yeah, but Finoia went to two shows. He's, well, you see, I think he's seen the dead there a couple times and fish, but he saw, he went with Ron White to see Kenny Chesney, when he was on tour with Ron White. - He had a pretend to like Kenny Chesney. - Oh no, he didn't even pretend. He did not like it. But here's the thing. The sphere has, like, a plug-and-play show. - Yeah, it's in a vase, right? - So, no, no, but I mean, they have a plug-and-play as far as-- - No, it's not really, you give them your package and then it's-- - And it's sort of-- - So the thing is, like, good example, the grateful dead, the thing is so cool that was all over YouTube that was great was, like, they have the skeleton riding a motorcycle through the whole fucking thing. - Yeah. - They can just change that with code, very quickly. So, like, when you say, when you say, when you say, when you say, "Oh, Kenny Chesney, it's Kenny Chesney and a girl," get on a motorcycle and they ride the same ride. And they do a whole thing of backstage pass as far as-- - When you see a tool, it's peep-- - And it's peep-- - And it's peep-wrapping his hands around him. - That's the way he's-- - But they could change that. - They could change the backstage passes that are dropping all over the place to anybody. So they do it with Kenny Chesney. So it's like they have a, so it is, I'm hoping. 'Cause I know a lot of people spend a lot of money in Metallica's doing their thing. And I didn't go, I'm not gonna do that. - Yeah, like, guarantee the tool won't do that. So the guy that does the graphics for tool, I'm always backstage talking to him afterwards. And do you know, like, every, all of tools lights, just like the light person and the graphics person, no two shows are the same. Because they're literally, like, using their own timing and doing the lights, like, so they're like-- - Like jazz musicians. - They're like an added musician to the whole thing. Like, this is what I'm feeling right now. And so, I guarantee, what I heard from the tool guys was that they're, they're looking, 'cause it costs a lot of money to do the show and they won't do the plug-in play package. And they, they're like, they're-- - Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. - They're gonna end up doing it and it's gonna be fucking fun. - It's gonna be fucking dope. You know, if you could bring up, it's funny. When I went on tour with Corn, - Did you go on tour with them? - I opened for them. - Wow. - 60 shows. - Did that happen? - I did. - No. - 60 shows, yeah. - That's cool as shit. - For Corn, the guy they had that was their lighting guy. His name is Jason Bullock. You could look this up. Look up Corn Lighting Guy online 'cause he was interesting. And I bet if I was, if I was a member of Corn, I would be annoyed by this 'cause as a comedian, I bet we always get like somebody trying to fucking out shine us on our own thing. - Out shine, lighting guy. - Boom. - Fuck yeah. - I shot. - So he fucking, it's a good bit. - It's a good bit, boys. - Nice job. - But Jason Bullock, he was awesome, dude. He what he did was, that was the guy did my second line and last line of cocaine with. He was all of all people. Jason Bullock was fucking, he was tools lighting guy for like their years, their holy shit years. He did it. - He's also Wiz Khalifa's lighting guy. - Yeah, yeah. That doesn't make sense, but here's the thing. - He's also mad. - What he did, what he did was, I used to sit with him during the corn set. He plays the lights like a fucking instrument. And you could watch him. There's videos in him online doing things 'cause like he like, it was so funny. He would, I'd watch him like, we were on the same bus. He would load up his thermos with like soda and booze. - Yeah. - And he would take a shirt off when the show started and he would get on the board and start doing this. And when the show started, he would do, he played the lights like it was a, it was so fucking, I'd love to say it was, it was. And it's all right. - You haven't given me your opinion. I can't tell if Jason Bullock says it's awesome. - It's awesome. - It's both. - There's like, I'm like, I can't tell you why because it's both. Because it was the infinite answer. - Because it's awesome. - Because it's kind of silly that he's doing these, putting so much into like pushing buttons. But like, he's listening to the music and he's like, and now strobe lights. Like he just did, and so it was awesome. My final opinion? - Awesome. - Awesome. - I say that's awesome. - You can find video him. - Awesome. - I want to hear people, before we go to another time, please look at it. - I got to hear a piece still. - But it's still about the function. - Oh, the stocker guy. - Yeah, yeah. - Yes. - Oh, you want to hear about the stocker? - I want to hear about the letter. - So Letterman invited him into your world. - Oh, your sphere. - Yeah, so I went on the bonfire, and then you guys, so I was awaiting my restraining order, re-up. 'Cause you have to re-up it like every three to five years. - It's like cocaine. - It's like cocaine, you gotta re-up every three to five years. Or five minutes. - Yeah, it lasts forever. But anyway, so you guys, I couldn't say what I wanted to do to him. And you and Sodor were riffing so hard on all the different ways that I could kill him. And I was just giggling. I did your show and just laughed. Like, I think my word count was like seven. - Yeah, that's why you had the quit. We were too great. - It was, it was, it was, it was. - Did they notify him when the thing is up? Wait, when, they call him and be like, "Member that guy you hated years ago?" - He goes, "You have about a three-fig window." - Yeah, you can get back in his life if you want. He's on the road this weekend. So you've got about a three-day window where you can go fuck his shit up right now. - It's really cool having a really dangerous stalker who's killed people and then a website that says where I'm at. - Yeah, exactly. - So, hold on. How much do you think it's up? - Go back to this guy showing up in rollerblades or on a skateboarding, man. - Well, wait, but can I, I want to finish. So in my, in my trial, or in the, in the civil case that I had to re-up the restraining order, it was, it was really great because, so he had no like to stand on. And there's also a, there's a criminal case from when he tried to, he didn't have legs. You should've just killed him. - He's a pussy. - Push him into the water. - Like this bitch. - This guy had no legs to stand on. You should've fucking beat him easily. - I thought you were a martial artist. - I know, he's Lieutenant Dan though. - Throw him in the water, call him Bob. (laughing) - Call him Bob. - That was a good one. But so, so he, he showed up to court. He thought that his dad could represent him as his lawyer and his dad's not a lawyer. So he, and in the first, in the, in the first one, his, so his lawyer was this guy named Dana Cole. And Dana Cole. - His lawyer's name was dad. - His dad, tell him that I'm not like this. - And Dana Cole doesn't represent him anymore. And so he showed up with his dad and himself, and in the first restraining order one, he pled the fifth because he had a lawyer. But when you're, when you're representing yourself, you can't plead the fifth. So the judge was like, it was like Mr. Hill, do you have, do you have an active criminal case with Mr. Lee? And he's like, I don't know what you're talking about. This guy's a liar and he's, he's an insane person. And, and he's like, he goes, we'll do, do you know that this is a restraining order or a re-up? And he's like, do you know that you're, you're representing yourself? And he's like, I, he's like, I can represent myself. I don't know, he goes, do you know that you're waving your fifth amendment rights? And anything that you say here can go into your criminal trial. And in the first one, it couldn't because you pled the fifth. And he's like, he goes, yeah, not that I wouldn't exist. And he goes, Mr. Lee, the judge just had enough with this guy. And he goes, Mr. Lee, I know it's painful, but could you go through all the evidence from the first, from the first restraining order? And so I went over 138 pieces of evidence that can get admitted into his thing. So he's screwed now for his criminal thing. And then, and then I went through all the current evidence of him stalking me again. And all the times that he had broke the restraining order, which like if you do that like five times, it becomes a felony instead of a misdemeanor. Well, anyway, so the funny part that has to do with Big J and Dan was at the end. He was like, your honor, because the judge was like, all right, I think we're done here. And he goes, your honor, I have evidence that will prove that Mr. Lee is the one bothering me and attacking me. And he talks about killing me on a radio show on Sirius XM. And then the judge goes, you know that before a case, you have to give all the evidence to everybody. There's no surprise. This isn't a court show. You're not walking in with a smoking gun. And he goes, this is my smoking gun. And I go, wait, did you say evidence from a radio show? And he goes, it's called the bonfire. And this is part of like a court transcript. And the judge goes, Mr. Lee, I talk to my lawyer, I go, we need to allow this. I go, we need to allow this. And then, so we got to go out in the hallway for half an hour. And we got to listen to the chunk about the-- Well, I don't call him a chunk. He's lost weight during your piece of shit. He's looking good, dude. What's wrong with you, dude? He's looking real good. I'm sorry, dude. That wasn't OK. I'm doing a trouble shuffle. For sure. It's not kind. I love you. I'm Chubby. I'm pre-o-zempic. I'm fucking deep nuts, minjaro, dude. I'm going to get two inches of my dick back. Jay Boots, a minjaro, looks harrowing. I think I may be dying from it, but I'll take a minjaro. Jay takes minjaro while he listens to the doors. But I guess it's-- Yo, guess who's buying shirts at the mall? This is the-- Munjaro just puts the cartel under your body to fight your fat cells. Shit. Is this-- yeah. Somebody just goes, oh my god. OK, you don't do cook. You're not friends with them. Anyway. Pussies. So proud is a pussy, so that's your fault. I love-- I love you guys. I love that you guys dress like you don't read, but you do. No, no, no. They don't read. I assure you. I do not read. I don't read either. My best friend, my brother, wrote a book. No idea. That's not a big question. Audio book will be out like next week, Jack. Never listen to an audio book in my life. Come on. Maybe yours is the fun. On the road? How many hours is it? Like four maybe? Oh, let me tell you something. I got a Christ. Are you saying I should drive the Rochester and listen to the sun, bitch? You should. Maybe I will. Maybe I drive the Rochester, just to listen to the audio. Let's go. I'm flying to Rochester, so. - I'm supposed to. I think I already bought a flight. - It's an hour and five minute flight, or it's the longest drive in your life. - It's a different, this is a great analogy. I think it's the difference between microwaving a TV dinner or putting it in the oven. - Yeah, no. - If you microwaving a TV dinner for three minutes or you put it in the oven for two and a half hours. - It's not even fair enough. When you get up in the air to go to Toronto, which is further. - Yeah. - They start bringing drinks immediately. They go, "We're bleeding in a minute." - Oh yeah, you literally get to the air. Like, we're a cruiser altitude. And we're gonna begin our final. - It's like Vegas. - It's kind of like. - But for some reason that drive is something that will challenge friendships. - Toronto? - Yeah. - Oh yeah. It's like nine hours. - Yeah. - So Montreal, that's where we became friends, driving a Montreal. - I know, dude, I wish. Man, again, I hope you did, Lewis, because I did, I've been doing a comedy long enough, 29 years this year. I've been doing comedy. And remembering all this shit when I was broke a shit and fucking things were fucking just fun. Like, you had to live on fun, because you weren't making any money. Me and you, making a sign every time we went to that shitty club in Montreal that only set 80 people. - Yeah. - And I was like, "I'm headlining. You guys can come open for me." Making a sign in the car that said, "Show your tits." - Show your boobs to your boobs. - Slapping on the window every time we passed a person. - A female. - A female person. - Yeah. - She had a gay. - By the way, if there was a car seat, still a chance she would show her tits. - Yeah. - Now I'll tell you this, we never saw tits, but it might be the birthplace of Lewis and I's. It might be why Legion of Skanks exists. - Yeah. - Because me and Lewis drove around and fucking-- - I love that. - And they really asked Lewis, but hold up a sign. Let me tell you something. Once in a while we had a marker, and we would make an easy sign. But if we were a fuck, we forgot to bring a marker. And all we had is a pen. Lewis had spent the first hour of the drive, at least. Oh, just diagonal lines, back and forth. - Well, I would do like, I would do like cross-hatching, like you learn in high school or class. I would draw it in bubble letters, and then I would cross-hatch it. - And fucking strip it. - For 45 minutes of cross-hatching. - At least. And then Jay would drive dangerously, like, is it getaway driver? - Dangerously. - And pull up next to some girl in a fucking jettah, and I'd smack it against human number. - And the best we would get is they'd go, you guys. And we'd be like, we did it, she's cool. - So no tits. - Never a tit. - Never a tit. - But if they smile on your left. - We never saw, by the way, there's out of the time, they'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? - There's pigs out there in the world who would do this. We never had tits once, but we were able to find out very quickly who was cool and who was not. - Some people would be like, frown face, fuck you, finger, drive 80 miles an hour to get away from us. - And we'd be like, what? - Some people would be like, you guys. And we'd be like, oh, this is the coolest chicken in the world. She might show her snatch. - Hey. - And then we'd keep on driving next to her for as long as humanly possible. Sometimes we'd literally not take our exit and just try to say next to her. - I would add 25 minutes to the trip if there was a chance that we might see a girl's tits because she thought we were cool. - You end up in skinectomy, but I'll be honest with you. They never thought we were cool. - Cool. - All right, speaking of tits, we should get into some of these things because we do have more of these. - Oh, yes. - Full of ticket competition. Best tip. - Should we do plugs or no? - I think we got a little time. - Okay. - Yeah. So here's the thing. - I don't think we get 'em out of the way. - You wanna get 'em out of the way? - Oh, yeah. - Let's get 'em out of the way. - Pete, what do you plug in, my friend? - Oh, I have a new podcast coming out called, are you the drama? - Yes. - I'm doing it on the stands network. - It's the question, who's the drama? You or the stalker? - You or the stalker. - The stand calls it a network. - It is a network. - Wow. - It's the, the witch network. - I know the God-free life guys. You know, it's funny, the witch network. You know, you're a crazy story. At some point, they had very few followers. And then one day, they had a lot of followers. They bought about 100,000 followers. - Oh. - And then two days later, they saw that they didn't get them removed, that it worked. And they bought 800,000 more followers. - Oh, so that's like a million followers for their network? - Isn't that crazy? - Isn't that crazy? - Thank you so much. - So anyway, go check out Pete's podcast on this Forge and Let Me Have World. - But no, Pete's podcast is available. Watch it, love it. You know what? I am going to be the Howard Stern of their network. I'm going to just bring everyone to it. No, by the way, I'm sorry that I didn't go to your network. - No, it's okay. - I just, I don't know. - God free, God free left, God free left gas digital for the stands now. - I know, he told me when I went to do a God free show, he told me that he told him a bunch of lies and never came through with anything. - Of course. - What an idiot. - Now his podcast gets a third of the listeners that it had on Jessus. - Yeah, here's the thing, dude. You got an embed with Chris Italia. Enjoy. - Oh, we used to be managed by Chris. And by the way, I know, we do these to be managed by Chris. - Yeah, I don't blame God free for leaving. That's what black men do. Black men, we, you're not wrong. - He did treat us like a child. - Chris Italia, I called Chris Italia in a lie when he was my manager. And I called him up and I told him I was gonna beat him up every time I see him for the rest of his life. That was gonna beat him up. - And that was a lie, 'cause Jameson done shit, you pussy. - Well, wow, dude. I ate my former manager, the late, great Dave Kimowitz. - Dave Kimowitz. - Me too. - Dave Kimowitz called me up and he goes, "Listen, you can't keep threatening the punch "the guy and beat the shit up." He's scared, and I went, "You should be. "I'm gonna genuinely punch him in the face when I see him." And he goes, "Habit of I just managed you." - I thought you were gonna say, "Habit of I just punched him in the face now." - No, I think this is awesome. He goes, "Habit of I just managed you." And they split the company into, and then he was unceremoniously murdered. - Yeah. - A lot of people said that was James Paul. - Yeah, yeah. - All right, let Pete do his plugs. You suggested doing plugs and it became story time. - Remember Dave Kimowitz, he was great. - Dude, Dave Kimowitz got me on the tonight show. He invited Jimmy Fallon to the stand to watch me. And Dave was, I have a picture of him and I at the tonight show. Shadow today, Dave's wife finally messaged me, Pete, you can stop texting him. I was still texting his phone regularly. I missed you, Dave, I love you. And then she finally was like, "Hey Pete, that's really sweet fucking stuff." - She kept the number. - For a while, I did, yeah. - I think you're in a contract and, you know. - You couldn't pay. - Not if you have a cricket mobile, like one of our sponsors. - Yeah, they had boost mobile. - I kept my cricket, they had cricket. - I kept my voicemails from Kim Woods. - Pete, do your plugs. - Oh yeah, Pete, you're gonna be where? So you can get all my hands. - Kim was murdered in his own house. - Gosh, Mike! - Pete, you're gonna be in Detroit soon. I am going to be at the Mineral Point Opera House this weekend. I'm gonna be at Comedy On State in two weeks after that. - Come on, back home, Wisconsin. - I'm going back home to Wisconsin. - Is there something? - They have a cheese place by the club that will mail to your cheese home. - Go on. - What do you have to do with plugs? - No! - No, because you can't travel with it in your carry-on 'cause it looks like C4, a block of cheese does. - We don't have to do plugs, we can just talk about these things. - Lewis, they'll mail your cheese to you. If you go in the store, they understand you're visiting and you can't place your cheese in a plain home. - So they will ship your cheese to you. It's two blocks from the hotel, between the club and the hotel. - It's fine. - Hey, Lewis. You can go to my Instagram @peatlypeatlypeatly. - I would love to. - You can go to my website peatly.net for all my tour days. Please come see me. By the way, I wanted to point out that I was less, way less drunk tonight than I was on story wars every time. I've been black out drunk on story wars and I wanted just to keep going. - So I guess you're slowing down. I'm following Sarah Bupal, getting them a whiskey. - Sarah Bupal. - Sarah Bupal, no, don't, don't, Sarah Bupal. - Hey, Sarah Bupal. - Come see me on the road this weekend. I'll be in Rochester, comedy The Carlson, Friday and Saturday night. Very excited, low ticket warning as in low, a low number of tickets have been sold. (laughing) - You're warning that. - At least buy tickets for the warning. - Brock Ridge have done a makeup date. I couldn't make it this past weekend because of the Noreaster, but I'll be back there October 10th doing that makeup date Saturday, 7 p.m. one show. After that, October 22nd through 24th, North Charleston, South Carolina. Story wars, Los Angeles is happening at the Comedy Sword November 4th and 5th. So get those tickets, they will sell out. And then I'll be in Pekipsi. And then I have Side Splitter's Tampa for New Year's Eve and New Year's Eve weekend. So come and get tickets for all those shows. And many more go to my website, Louisipsgangs.com, buy my book, Knives and Spoons. In Hardcover or the audio book, it will be out in the next couple weeks. They might publish your company, just go back to me today. So get that. - Completely read by Machine Gun Kelly. - One really? - Really? - Are you kidding me? - Yeah, true story. - Weird, right? For no reason, meaning nothing. - And also guys, if you love the show, we do a bonus Friday night hang, just a three of us. We're doing it for 15 years straight. We're doing it for a 100%, 15 years straight. - 15 years, you've been included the whole time. - The whole time. - The whole time. - I've never left. - Steve, Fred and Zeezy, honestly got a few times, me and Louis got in the Bicker Wars, where we were like, let's just stop the show. - Said no. - Because Steve was like the glue. - The glue. - I was there for one of them. There was a show that I went on with you guys where I said nothing. I was there the whole time. It was back when you guys would do it in Anthony Cumea's studio for a little while. And you guys getting to such a big argument. And you're like, Pete, aren't you gonna say anything? - Yeah, I was like, I'm just loving this. - No, we were on the Cume Network. So we had the really, we were really a lot as most of our commercial throws. We would praise our Hitler allegiance. - Yeah. - Yeah, just arm bands. - So yeah, also go to Gasteginal. If you want to get that bonus show every Friday night and you get the Uncensored ad free version of this show plus access to over 900 episodes that are no longer available anywhere else in the world except for Gasteginal. Gasteginal.com, use the promo code LOS. It saves you a couple bucks a month. the show directly, and goblins America. - Steve Arino. - Well, first and foremost, I'll have you know, I beat Carrot Top last week at Fantasy Football. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Enjoy Carrot Top. - Yeah. - You know, he's out of the hospital, he's doing better and it's now we're allowed to make jokes as much as we want, man. - I beat him too, we do a fantasy WNBA. - Oh, yeah, he had a purpose week one, yeah. - He had to do a call out, we had a message underneath, we had a comment underneath our discussion about Carrot Top from Jeff Ross. - Yeah. - That said, geez guys, you don't even, we don't even get set out of the hospital. - Yeah. - Shut up. - Take up a Nana for a ride. - Jeff, yeah. - Are you crazy? It's so good. - The Rose Master General. - Yep, I know, but he is very close with Carrot Top's real name. - You can't do that, listen, that's the unwritten thing you saw in me become a comedian. If you're gonna talk about everybody, you're gonna talk about every friend. - I agree with that and I hated it when, yeah. - Let's do his fucking plugs. - Eventually, we could have a conversation after the plugs. - Eventually the world's gonna turn on Louis-Shake Gomez, you know what I'm gonna say? I don't know. - I don't know what you're talking about. - If the world hasn't turned on you yet with everything you said, no, no, they're building a dossier. Let me tell you, it's big. - Oh, it's a myth. - But I'm gonna go against, I'm gonna go. He didn't seem that way to me. - I backed R.E. Shafir for president. - I got a great president. - Yeah, R.E. Shafir, known fucking rapist accuser? - Yeah. By the way, I love that R.E. talks like when you roll luggage over a brick walkway, like ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta. Oh my God. My name is R.E. Shafir. - Oh, it's just cut the music, we will do plugs later. - No, no, it's fine. I have nothing. Cleveland, if please, I've been plugging this same date. For the old 15 years, I've been on Legion of Skanks for the love of God. If I don't sell these shows out, I'm gonna kill myself on Saturday night. - Said Carrotop. (audience laughing) Lewis, too soon. Too soon, Lewis. Big J. Coming in and I'm throwing my dates. Listen, listen, I'm in Cleveland this weekend. (audience laughing) At the same place Steve is doing, please let's sell those to the fuck out. - No, no, no, if you've got a bad one, it seems you're gonna kill himself. - No, I'm just gonna jump off the balcony and we'll let God decide. - When you go, you broke your leg, listen. By Saturday, I'm gonna talk to the club and say like, can you give a discount and rate on Steve's tickets if they're here with my tickets? And maybe that's gonna change, it's gonna turn things fucking fantastic. But this weekend, I do need you to come out. I promise, if you come out and you tell me, you came because you wanna see Steve and you thought you would get a hook up, I will put you on the guest list for Steve's show. (audience laughing) - Two for one show. - No, yeah. - And you get two for one. Whatever two shows you want, I will make sure I put you on the guest list. I will call the owner, I know him personally. - Oh yeah. - He's gonna give me a baseball bat? - The best, dude. - He's the best. - He's the best, the best, the best. - Can I say something? - Knuckles. - He wouldn't knuckles. - Come see Mitch and Cleveland a bunch of other places and listen to the Bonfire list in the story wars. The funniest thing in the world to me is that the owner, you get to stop the music. The owner of Cleveland Hilaries is a sweetheart of an old man named Nick. - Oh, the best. - The sweetheart. He knows a guy who does engraving on baseball bats. He just knows a guy. - He knows a wood guy. So when you would come there and you would headline, you would sell some good tickets for him. He would present you at the end of a weekend with the baby. - I don't do it whether you sell good tickets or not. 'Cause I got a bat. I gotta be honest with you right now. - And I'll say this, and I think he would laugh at this too, so I don't feel bad about this. He gives the baseball bat to everybody. Some people care. I have my baseball bat still. I care. - Me too. - I have it in my studio. - Mark Norman famously left it to the airport 'cause they were like, "You can't take me on your check-in" and he goes, "Throw it away." (laughing) - They mailed me mine. - Sure. - It probably cost $11 for Mark Norman to take it on the plane. And he's like, "Ah!" He said, "No way." - "I'd rather die!" (laughing) - Show it up my ass. - My favorite thing in the world is comedy. - And you could find this online and I don't feel bad playing it because Paul, I love you. And I hope you understand why this is funny. - Nick? - No, so he gives us this baseball bat to pretty much anyone who comes to his club as Lewis will back up. - It was a joke. - You don't have to sell tickets at all. You could sell shit, awful, terrible, low ticket sales. But if you show up, God damn you're gonna get that baseball bat as it's Lewis. Paul versed into the club and he got a baseball bat. And he did a video where he talks about it with such reference. I mean, he almost goes, we always make a joke about it but it's not how it goes. I'm sure I'm overexaggerating but he goes like, you know, you do comedy and you think, you do it for a reason. Things are gonna work out for you. But one day someone gives you a baseball bat. You realize it's all worth it. - It's one of the funny things. He's so emotional by this baseball bat video and you're like, dude, he just gives, he just knows a guy and everyone gets the bat. Everyone, it's the, sits in my laundry room waiting for someone to come in that somehow I can beat up with a baseball bat. - With your own name on it. - With my own name on it and also how much they love Legion of Skanks. It's fucking fantastic. I love having it. But that Paul Verzi video is one of my favorite things on the internet because he's so emotional about getting his baseball bat and you're like, dude, he gives it to everybody. He's already got Ricky Vales' fucking baseball bat printed out. It's coming next week. - Wow. - Who good to go. So it's one of the funniest things ever. - Mine burned in my house fire. I need to get another one. - Oh. - Maybe that's what started the house fire. - It was the kindling. - Oh my God, dude, what if that was, it made pretty a fat wood, which I've learned recently is good for fires. - All right, so look. - Kanks, let's go to take a contest. Is we're doing best tits, right? But it's men only. - Men only. - So, do we have any more people submit? G Mike? - So after last week's very poor showing, we all agree? - Very poor showing. - Yeah, terrible. - The fans came through, we got over 100 emails. - No. - Yeah. (audience cheering) - Wait a minute. Is it all me? Most of it's you. - Is it all me again? - Most of it. - Most of it. - Most of it's your head shot. - You narrowed down to 15, that's a lot. I mean, we're not gonna get a lot of videos, too. - All right, let's, we're not getting through 50. - Maybe we'll get through five, maybe we'll get through 10. - Since how fast they go. - Let's see. - Ooh. - Oh, man. - Oh, man. - So now we're getting where it goes. - Okay, those are some danglers. - Yeah. - I honestly got his torso in general. It's like a sad face. - Yeah, it really does. - This is David. - David's got a frowning body. - He looks like one of those fish. - His belly button is in his area 51. - Are you sure this isn't Goliath? - He's like, he's like, oh, man. - Can I say something, he is one chin, right? Even from this angle. - No, listen. - Is that a Goliath and then Goliath? - I know, then me too. - This guy's got a luck. This guy's got a luck. - By the way, can we talk about his dry strength? - Can I understand? - He looks like Nate Fat Gatsy. - Can I speak? (laughing) Can I speak some experience here? - Nate can be Bargatsy. - You guys want to take these attacks. Can I speak from the gut here? - Yeah. - As someone who mimics this guy's body. This guy, as myself, was not meant to be morbidly obese, but he got morbidly obese. And the last thing to go was his fucking face. Face and neck. - I thought you got emotional first time. - Is he throwing up? - No, I just, I just, I was looking at him. I'm like, waiting for the beautiful, I'm like, oh my god, he's throwing up. - No, no, no, I'm not throwing up. I just had to pick up from a. - Oh, you just, I thought you just changed your trunk. You're like, this guy, this guy. - You're supposed to be a white guy. - He's fucking beautiful and he deserves to get a chance. - No, I'm gonna say this. This guy's not, so his tits come in nice. I'll tell you why. When someone's supposed to be a bigger person, their tits don't come in as nice. This guy is growing tits because he's supposed to have a chest. So he's got instead melting fucking ice cream tits. - Can I tell you, there's something about like the, the one draw scrunchering being all the way down and the one being all the way up. It's just the type of human being. - Yeah. - That wouldn't fix their own draw. - Oh, okay. - It's like, let's have a little level of dignity. Maybe this guy's all about equilibrium. Now hear me out. - Okay. - This sounds like a scientific conversation and it is. - Hold on. - He chose to go the short draw string with the bigger tits. - Tit, yeah. - He went long draw string for small, so it's almost like-- - He has to lean his head back to that side too, because I gotta be sure it's all equal. - His plan worked perfectly because I assume both this tits for those fucking sweet six sagging milkers. But the other one is just a fat tits. - Also, these aren't even great tits. They're gonna be honest with you. - Can we agree that if you were-- You see how the bottom of him makes almost, like the bottom of his gut looks like a butt. If you were to put nipples at the bottom of his gut-- - Maybe better tits. - Great tits. - Those would be better tits. - They'd be fucking nice. - Your stomach is better tits, sir. - No, we can't get them. - This guy's got bad tits. - Let's hear what he has to say. - Please. - What's up, Skanks? After all the shitty videos you guys have been getting, I figured I'd put these puppies on the line. - You like it? - Hold on. - Oh wait a minute. - I'm getting hard. - Whoa. - This guy-- - The only part in the spirit is alive. - Oh, bitch. I'll beat his ass. - Yep. - Oh shit. - All right, that was it. I like it. - Bad. - What's his name? (audience cheering) - Is that Big Nachos? - Devon. Devon, that's not Big Nachos. - Devon, I told her you're doing the podcast. And I was like, we've been talking about you. She's like, really? Say me the clip. I was like, no. - Yes, no big matchups. - It was mostly about your big fat cans. - Wow. - So no. - Shout out big matchups. - Okay. - If you guys go subscribe to the Big Natural's podcast. If you do nothing else. - I gotta say, you could do other stuff. - No, no, no. - Has anybody else in here not realized that the baby is in blackface until now? - What? - No, no, everybody knows, dude. That's blackface baby. - Don't be racist. - No, I'm not. That's your problem with blackface baby, dude. - Pete, it's a different time. - No, I, but you guys, I'm not, no, I'm, you guys, it's cool. I'm racist. - Okay, good, good. - All right, let's go to the next person. - This is James. - James, my son, no. (audience laughing) - Oh, no. - We knew he was gonna be fucked up 'cause of you. - Yeah. - I didn't know he was gonna be showing it. - This looks like the, the kid from that radio head video. What was it? - Paranoid Android. - The Paranoid Android. - The Cartoon? - The Cartoon, yeah. - Okay, sure. - Do you guys remember Paranoid Android? - Cartoon. - But, Lewis, don't try to sing Paranoid Android. It's got three different songs. (buzzer) You guys are our Paranoid Android. (buzzer) Or the parrots goes, oh. (buzzer) (buzzer) - It's like a nine minute fucking song. (buzzer) Or the parrots goes, get it, get it, get it, get it. (buzzer) (laughing) - It really is, it might be in my mouth, rush more of songs. - It's great song, dude. - But it's fucking all over. - Radiohead rules, by the way. Radiohead kicks fucking ass. - I tell you something. - This is a fun fact. Most of my threesomes in my life, background, YouTube, radiohead live. - Wow. - That's crazy, it's awesome. - Yeah. Most of my threesomes. (clapping) - No, no, no, no, no, a die coke with ice. No, leave it here, it's far. I know, maybe I'll hit it. - Pete, by the way, is on his, this second full glass of whiskey. - Hey, Maryl, could you, - Pete doesn't leave until he understandably could hit a woman. - What's up? (laughing) - Makers, Mark, please. - Makers, thank you. - Paul, oh, do me a favor. Can you hit his girlfriend about it? (laughing) - It's not, it's your cane. - We don't wanna break up the show. - It's not by threesome channel, but it my sex, my sex go to is deft tones. - Oh. - I fuck to the deft tones. Deft tones, 99% of that's right. - They are perfect fuck rock, 'cause it's cool. - Yeah. - But it's also breathy and airy and fucking- - Do you know what I fuck to? - Speaker phone, spam calls. - Okay. (laughing) - Yeah, I fuck to the sound of the garage door closing when I know the person around the house. (laughing) - Maryl at the long time. (buzzer) - Maryl a long time, you still fuck to music? - No. - Not at all. - I still pick music. - Yeah, I can't hear her cry. - Yeah, no, no, no, it's just- - I still pick music and my thing is always, it's put a YouTube concert on. - I know, typically I don't do music. It was when I first got the dog. I would lock the dog out of the room and then she would whine outside of the door. - She has put it. - So I have to put music on to drown out, 'cause I can't keep my dick hard with the dog crying in the background. - I know, she's like, "I haven't eaten today." (cheering) - You're not taking good care of me. - You're gonna let him up on the bed. - No, no, no, I'm not talking away, right? - Yeah, but she's just like stairs. - If I thought- - They know they know the animal, if I would fuck dude. - If I would fuck dude, dog's going in the crate. - Dude, I had a dog named Diesel for a long time and he's a French bulldog and I'd be fucking and then like right before I would come, he'd just sit on my foot and like I would come and then he would look over at me like, we did that. - Oh, nice. - You think he had a little like through your foot into him? - He was like- - He recently passed. - Oh, no, he's just with my- - He burned him in the fire. - Oh, jeez. - He's with my ex-wife. - He goes, "Yeah, he's just bones in the fire." - He went through the bat and he went to go grab, he went to go fetch it. - He got cremated for free. (laughing) - Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. - I was, my, we only- - Oh! (laughing) - Can we just play the entire fucking song of film now? - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Let's see this guy's tits. - Yeah, let's see the next guy's tits. - By the way, I'm so glad that 2005 Jim Norton submitted, you know shit, right? - Yeah. - This guy's got to look for her. - That's nice. - This audience is not like, people, that are comparisons to this guy to other people laugh at it. - Come on, guys. - Fuck off. - I almost feel bad doing this. - 'Cause you have cancer? - Oh, you know what, I realize what he looks like. Does he look like a woman with cancer? - He does, he looks like she, I was afraid it's coming. - Here we go, here's a good one. He looks like Shailene Woodley in that movie where she's dying and she got famous 'cause she was dying from cancer. - Yeah. (laughing) - The fault in our stars. - The fault. - Bring up, bring up Shailene, believe in the fault in our star. I never saw a paranoid Android cartoon and then bring up young Jim Norton and see who he looks most like. - And after that, if you wouldn't mind, my G-Mike, take a make up call here and see if it's maybe the right time to play the entire song of paranoid Android. It's 11 1/2 minutes before we go. - I think we're getting through these 15 videos. - I think so, for sure. - Who does he look? - Absolutely. It's already, fuck, it's already an hour and a half in. - All right, so first pull up the paranoid Android cartoon. - Sure. - I think you really want to drive this point. And if you want to play from beginning to end, I'm totally cool. - Let's see. - Uh-huh. - Okay. - Okay. - All right. - Okay. - All right. - Okay. - All right. - Not a bad pull, good pull. - He doesn't have tits put face for 30 years. - For 30 years. - For 30 years. - All right, now pull up, uh, young Jim Norton. - Yeah. - With a, with a skull cap, if you could. - Yeah, ideally. - Like, oh and age him. - With a skull cap. - Yes. - Yeah, and, like a maroon one. (laughing) And if he's got a gray shirt possible. - And if you could also pull up any one of our fans, Instagrams, at all. (laughing) (humming) - Get in there, get in there, get in there, get in there. - You can't, man, I'm not being a ball, but no. It's such a good song. - He's trying to find it. - I'll tell you what though. Not a good, well it's not no happy, yeah, I see it. - Listen, what was yours? - Have you guys ever had anybody retro, retroactively laugh at your joke? That felt really good. - Oh, okay, you know what? I didn't have one, I don't think, but let's do Parapa the Rapa. - No, no, no. - What? - You already chose yours. - Oh, Shaleen Woodley and Fault in our Stars, yes. - No, she's losing her hair, you fucking twat. You fucking know what I meant, Mike U.S. So she eventually goes bandana head, you fucking jerk off. You knew what I meant. - I feel like you knew what I meant. - Mike, can you chat to UBT her with that picture and make her look exactly like that? Mike, do me a favor, while I'm bitching at you, can you take that time to do exactly what Pete said? - Yeah, Mike, can you also suck this dick? Mike, do me a favor, I pull my cock out on the table, will you go underneath and suck it? - Will you suck it, let's see. Okay. (audience cheering) - Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man. - Guys, never even saw the movie, I'm just such a guy, I know the reference, never even saw the movie. - Wow. - Mike, go up M&M from eight miles. (laughing) - Oh, fuck, God damn it, pull up M&M every mile, it might be the best one. - Pumple of M&M, she looks like fucking, like we just, we see when he's coming back to see his mom. - By the way, I call him she by accident, but I meant he looks like B-rabbit, but with tits. - Yeah. - I'm gonna call him D-rabbit. - He looks like he eats a lot of M&M's. - He looks like D-rabbit if you know what I mean. That's pretty good. - By the way, the confidence with which, oh yeah. - Yeah. - Look at that. - Yeah, that's actually, even the color. - I mean, it's just a white person with a fucking beat. - No, the eyes, they're all white people. - Except for the cartoon. - The cartoon, we don't know what it is. - All right, go to this video. - We're gonna solve this. (laughing) - Wait, can we have an audience vote? - We really do need to get an audience vote. - Okay, listen, I think we kill more time, really digging deep in this. (laughing) - Does anybody agree that the show got better after the plugs? - Yes. - Yeah. - That's why I said this to him, let's get him out of the way. - Yes, yes. (audience applauding) - No one cares, they know. Go to our website. - Those plugs were two full paranoid Android lengths. - So long, I'm gonna be in Cleveland's weekend. - Come with me at the cross and downbound. - See you at all for the first time in a long time. - All right, let's play this video. G mic. - Oh, fucking sorry. That was where it tits. Those were fucking packs. - Man, he's not last guy. - This guy's got a fucking calendar packed to his wall. - Dude, this guy's from Wisconsin. He will show up with an AR to defend his town. - Can I tell you what I judge? - Yeah. - Who has a calendar that's on the correct month? - That's crazy. You don't meet a calendar, you fucking loot a thing. If there was an old calendar and he liked the pictures in it, but it's September, 2026, why? - I feel the exact opposite. - I mean, yeah, I think it says that you're putting it on. - I have a calendar. - Do you think he leaves it up 'cause he thinks there's a pretty picture of Kathy Ireland? - I have a calendar from like four years ago that my sister got me of me and my son. And that's still in my kitchen. On the best picture of me and my son. - That's an unfair assessment. You and your son. - This is fucking, this is Lakefront cabins from across the land. - All right, I was gonna say outhouse or bird feeder. - Maybe one of those things. - Outhouse or bird feeder. - I'll tell you one of it's a tip. - Do an outhouse calendar would rule. I'm gonna say bird feeder 'cause look, there's another bird. - Oh, this guy is super stoked on birds. Please continue to play it. I hope he has facing each other bird tattoos on his big fat tits, let's say. - And I know that I'm a fat guy that's already seems unfair. But people literally think I'm trans. - Yeah, okay. - By the way, you do that a hundred percent. I already have called you a lady by accident, yep. You're not trans 'cause you haven't spent enough money on anything. I thought that was just training. I thought that was training Aaron Lipski. (laughing) - Oh, by the way, so Aaron Lipski pulled out of the fight with Josie, but that was stepping in. Stepping in on short notice, fighting Josie Marcellino at some point. Skankfest on September or November 14th, Kimberly fucking Kongdo. Okay, thanks. Can I get a little behind the curtain, please? Josie. Josie hosted for me this weekend in Baltimore. And she said that she asked me if that was a good idea. And I said, no, no, no, Kim's going to beat the shit out of you. You're not a fighter. And it was funny with Aaron, but now you probably shouldn't do this. Why would you do that? I'll tell you, because I don't want to see, I'm friends with Josie. I don't want to see her get beat up. Kim's not a fucking, a weapon. She's a fucking. No, Josie. Puerto Rican bitch. Josie's just some chick. And Kim has a fire inside of her from the terrible thing. She's blocked out of her mind that you've done to her. That she is going to kill Josie. But I said, no, you should do it. So she goes, I told Lewis that, give me a day to think about it. Yeah. And then she said while she said that, that Lewis just posted a fucking thing. Not true. She said that you posted it before she agreed. I mean, I'll. I can show you our text message. Call her. No, it's. You guys went as Skinkfest. Literally, we have so much to do besides Josie, right? That's called Josie, right? Whoa, we're always. Let's call her out. We're already in the fucking second of fucking 15 tits. Let's call Josie on the front. Guys, we have to rush. Um, okay. Well, when Skinkfest? November 13th or 15th. Oh, that's when I met the brokerage. Oh. That's Craig's good brokerage. Your stalker's there. I really. One of these years, I really wanted to do Skinkfest. And last year, you and I were going to box each other and then it didn't work out. So he just didn't let you come at all? Well, Bert had me out in tour with him and then we were going to box. We're going to have a movement. Lewis, our guest is talking to you. Oh, dude. Lewis, I think you're in the fucking face, huh? I think you're looking at underage naked pictures from your weird website that you're in with that fucking guy from Wheel of Fortune. He's not even. No. You guys. Oh, you and the Wheel of Fortune, that fucking. That's best. Check each other. It's not even here. He's never here. He's never here. He's never here. He's never here. He's never here. Look at him looking so hard. Oh, 23 year old. It's going to be a total boy-fay. You were going to fight Pete. A boy-fay. That's the guy said. Pete Challenge, mate. On Story Wars, very drunk. And then I said, "Yes, I'll box you, Pete." Because he was a karate champion. He was a karate champion. $3,000. He didn't kick. He didn't kick. He can't. He can only box. If you don't box, I'll light you up. $3,000. If you beat Lewis. I texted him and I was like. Because I was like looking for a boxing trainer. I kickboxed. I was a champion kickboxer. And I have two black belts and different. Socialized. So Steve. He was so-as-I. You know that, dude? He won a tournament on top of town. You won a fight right now. You won a fight over this guy's tits. He won a fight over Jim Doris. Steve won the tower, seven all-falley karate tournament. The race to the top. They called it. The race to the top. The race to the top. It was Brett Ernst, a card dealer in that town. Yeah, Brett Ernst. And his father. Yes. And that was a. You called him between the towers. I think. I guess I was here with you. I texted. I texted him. Over and over and over. I knew it. I sent it to the poster. I knew it. Look, I said. It's got ADD. Kim's in. Right. I just wanted to discuss it with you. She wanted to make it clear. She's not trying to kill you. She had to push and blah, blah, blah, blah. So, none of that. I sent her the poster. And then she said, "Look. Let's do it." Then I posted the poster afterwards. Josie, and I mean this, is a habitual liar. Yep. Everything she says cannot be trusted. She's literally just a lying attention sink. When you say. I hope Kim fucking murders her. Listen. Josie. This weekend. This weekend when you're hosting a Cleveland, people come up to you and fucking say, "Great job." Just no. They're lying. I mean, doggie, she just. She's surrounded by the lie. Josie, whatever it is, she is the thing where she just loves to lie. Does she lie about it? Yes. I never found it. She's training. She's like, "Yes, I've been training." And then I was like, "What have you learned?" She's like, "How to make a fist?" And she put her thumb in her hand like this. Come on. She went over the top. I swear to God. She's going to break her hand. No. Dude, that's how you went to fucking arm wrestling thing in a truck stop. No, but this is how you break your hand. But no, I really like him. You're right. I think it is the right decision. You're right. Pete Lee versus Josie Marcellini. I mean, just Josie's such a liar. She's like, "He just posted about, she's a fucking liar." It's crazy how much Josie was. I'll tell you what. She did tell me that she said, "Give me a day to think about it." She said. That was the day before that conversation happened. Oh, oh, then maybe it's all above board. But she was like, "I'm going to back out of it." And then-- No, she told you that I posted it before she said this. She said, "Yes, that's not true." Okay. That's a dirty lie. You guys right now we're on TV talking like it's just you and me, like Kanye. Mostly. I got to be honest with you. I think they see-- I'm going to-- Yeah, I have a cigarette. I think the CBS deal we have is going to hold up. I think so. Yeah. Let's be on a-- So you have Pete challenged me to a boxing match. Can I use your joint to-- I can't say the term. Burn it? Well, there's a-- Spark it. The fuck? End word, right? What are you going to say? Jesus. Peter, you on "Birds Cruises" here? No. Oh. No. I-- We got to say on one topic. Yeah, sure. Let's go back to the video. All right. We're seeing this guy. All right. Oh my god. I can't believe we have it. Yeah, I'm on it. For god, we were on these days. I got-- I got Louis. You know I have a dream. Oh my god. Hold on. Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, we have tits. Wow. If you squeeze those together, those are nice tits. Shit, dude. Those are nice fucking real nits. Those are-- Wow. Beautiful nits. Wow. By the way, he's got the ball nips of a woman. Oh my god. Hairless pre. Hairless really makes his-- Small nipples on big tits. Beautiful. I'm telling you, I have definitely fucked women who have these exact tits. Right. Yeah, we've both been to Toledo. Right there on the left. That left hit right now looks very familiar. That's crazy. You remember Stephanie from "Trump Toledo"? Wow. I think I met Daytona Toledo. I did hook up with a waitress. I gotta say, the hairlessness does make it much more powerful. Those are-- Let me tell you something. If you squeeze those together and send a picture. It does. You have a hot girl's face in a picture of those tits. Yo, that left hit. Yo, yo, okay. Okay. Dare I say, fire on that left hit. By the way, it's female Areos. They slowly melt into the skin. And then you have the courage to cover the face. And then had the courage to cover the face. Like, you know, the way we just fall off during a normal fox sash. No. I'm sitting on DMs of these tits from a chick. Oh my god. Even look at the-- don't even cover the face. This is a chick. You're right, dude. It's a chick with cancer. Yo, that's-- It's Shaling Woodley. Yeah. Let's put on weight. Oh. Those are good tits. Yo. He's in the running. Oh, no. Don't turn. Don't turn. They were good before he had turned. You have a side hit, isn't great. No. No. No. Here's the key. They're at the far one. This is popular. This is good before the turn. Dude, the tits starts at the fucking style of a neck. I know. You got it. You got it. Yeah, you're right there. But I'm su-- you are-- Look at the far tip. Get the far tip. Pause it, separate there. That's a beautiful tin. That is a beautiful silhouette of a tin. That's what I'm saying. Listen to me over here. And I'll tell you what. The tin that's growing underneath his fucking left tip. Ain't that bad? That's going to be a fine tin one day, too. We ever get the fucking AI and a nipple on that some bitch? That thing's not bad itself. They're going to get a better view. Do they say anything else in this video? Because he's in first place as of right now. It's tits 100%. It's tits right now. We're doing all the talking. We're going to make him do some fun stuff by smashing his cleavage together. That's going to be-- no. The next contest should be make your tits look as hot as a girl's tits could. Great. And then also, at one point, you're going to have to fuck your own tits with a dildo. Yes. Unquestionably. That's probably wrong. Dude, I can't wait for that guy in round two. Steve, do you have any fucking horny thoughts about man's tits you would like to see happening? Yeah, I'm just telling you right now, that left tip was real deal, dude. Yo, if you just silhouette of that tit, you'd be like, yo. Yeah. This girl's got fucking trucker mud flaps tits. Yes. That has the exact trucker mud flap tits. You get a tattooed on your arm that, dude. 100%. Is it-- we are right behind us? What? No. They're excited. They love that tit. Dude, you could take that tit in a picture. What is your problem? Oh, she's mad because she has no tits. Mess. Do you see him? Oh, really? I'm sorry, jealous. Why don't you just acknowledge this man's got a fantastic tit? You wish you had those tits. Fucking Wednesday, Adam's over here. Yo, can I tell you something? Haterade is ugly on you. You are a beautiful woman. Appreciate this guy's fucking games. I really like you. You have a great nose and you're a wonderful person. She's gorgeous. But if she have this girl with those tits, oh my god. I tell you something. No, for that woman. All you are missing is this girl's tits. You definitely have Kamala Harris voter bangs. No, that's definitely her last boyfriend was abusive. And now she found a guy but her bangs haven't grown back yet. All right, let's go to video number three. This guy's got a big dick and empathy. Oh, absolutely. The next one's an image. Oh, he got a tilt in the pussy. He's got a pussy between his tits. That guy is a fucking tits pussy for sure. That's a bush I would love on a pussy. This is the perfect man right here. Yeah, you could titty fuck all the way to the pussy. Can I be honest with you? I don't love the pepperoni nips. No, they're very-- I don't know, but I'm telling you. This guy's life is affected by these tits. This is a thought he has every day when he has to fucking lift him, the clean. Jesus, God. Do you think he really lifts him? I do. Listen. I don't have tits like this. And I'm very important to hit my folds in a shower. Don't. I'm sitting. Let me stand. Let me stand to put my arms up. Let me stand up and do this. Check me out there. Ooh, nice. Those are pects right there. Oh, shit. Boy, do you feel the top? Do you feel the top? Do you feel the top? Top titties are hard as a rock, dude. There they are. Man, Jake, I've never loved you more. You're being so vulnerable in your Malcolm X glasses. Yeah. I do. Get your hand on my pocket. Yeah. That's beautiful. He was a good man. He was a good man. Yeah, my new headshot. These are in the running, by the way. I mean, yeah, I'd like to see in a second round if they pass through. Yeah, we'll see. I mean, they're definitely the shape of that middle. I like the shape of that middle. Already, we're crushing last week's tip. Oh, 100%. Dude, those guys would just want to get fucking pussyers. That's crazy. These tits are unreal. These are real man. Can I tell you the contest, though, is best tits. These aren't nice. This is not nice. Those aren't man tits, though. No, but they're the best. Let me just say this. The idea, the way that I'm interpreting the entire contest is if it was on a woman, these are beautiful tits. I raised my cigarette to challenge you. This could be a woman. No. It could. Don't see the face. No, I mean, look, she's got a lot of explaining to do in the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. If she is, she's definitely heavy-letting. It is, Louis. This is how I'm interpreting it. Ready? Steve, if I'm in prison, and I have to, like, you know, be fucked or you have to fuck some male tits, which ones am I fucking? Okay. Can I say something? I'm doing a similar thing, Steve. I'm doing a prison fucking, but this is butt fucking, and I'm taking them. But I have to reach around grab something that makes me feel like I'm fucking a woman. Interesting. And these tits because the hair starts where I would not be grabbing. It would freak me out. You guys? No, no, no, not me. I'd be like, no, I'm having anal sex with a fat woman. Yeah. 'Cause they would, those are danglers, dude. Look how, those were dangles. When you reach around and grab it, you could feel the other ones feel swinging. You could hoist up. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things when I'm having sex with women is, even when I'm jerking off the porn, watching the tits kind of jiggle while she's being fucked, and then there's a moment. Hold on. Where she's doing this. And the, it starts off jiggling at the same rhythm. But then it switches. Yes. The opposite. I love it. Can I say a little bit natural for you? You're right. You're right. It's with fake tits. It stays on. Stays on with it. The natural go to their own, and then everything else has to go. It's what made me, this sex we're talking about, is what made me not enjoy fake tits at all, is because one, when they're on all fours and they're supposed to be moving all kinds of fun, it looks like because the bag's showing, it looks like there's a ghost playing with the tits are. Yeah. They've got fucking finger slots for the tits. And you go, oh, this is all fake. It's no. I like a girl who's like, I just dropped my kids off at school and my tits have just bruised my own cheats. Yeah. Yeah. That kind of thing. That kind of thing. When they buckle the seat belt, the nipples are under where they go across. Abs. A fucking loop. That's what I'm looking at. The other night, there are tits muffin top around a fucking seat belt. Yeah. Those are danglers. I mean, should we be giving these scores to make it easier to fairly work? One million for that guy. Yeah. What's the gauge? One to one million? I'm going to say that those could be a woman's tits, and if you don't agree, you haven't been to Sarasota, Florida. That's true. I've been a lot of people. I've not been to Sarasota, Florida. You are absolutely correct. This is a tit you work a little bit hard to bring home. Yeah. Well, here's my promise by comparison. I mean, this guy is fine, but once again, I don't want to fuck this guy's tits. Alex, when are we going to start story work? I don't want to fuck this guy's tits, but I will say the guy right before him in a silhouette. I would jerk off to his tits. Yeah. Yes. So here's the whole picture lit up, but what you just jerked off, so I go, "Oh, my God." If that was a fat chick's tits, I'd be like, "You know what? At least she had nice tits." This one here? Or the other one? No, no, no. Not when they were just being shown to us. I wouldn't say she had nice tits. I go, "She's a fat girl." That last guy, not this guy. The last guy had fat woman's tits, not nice ones, but ones that she can mask as nice. That guy, when we do make your tits like a woman, I think that's the fucking person. He's going to have to shave the middle, Jay. No, no, no, no, no. I'm talking to the person before. Oh, before. That guy's going to be-- When that guy squeezes tits together, because when he squeezes tits together, if it's a picture of just the frame tits, it would be convictible in court catfish. You know what? I would say, maybe they have to smash them against a window like we're in prison, and they're showing us their hot tits. Oh, sorry. You got to press cam your tits. Press the tits against a window. No, no, no, no. A window or a-- yeah, or you're in the shower. Shower was in the shower. See, if somehow you made it hot. There it is. Get some wet water. I need you to silhouette it in a shower. Wet like this. Ooh, a wet round. Wet T-shirt, four seconds. They have to be wet. There it is. Wet T-shirt is definitely a round. Definitely a round. I love it when a plank comes together. That's your mind like down to. Purr, let's go to the next one. This show is perfection podcasting. P-I-P. That was amazing. All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Sheath Underwear for supporting the show. Boys, it's all that way. I look. Oh, baby. It's all everywhere. I'm not even going to thank them. I'm just going to let my dick and balls send a text to them because they're who's really appreciating this. Do my dick and balls seem like they're mad at each other. Like they're in separate rooms. It's great. Yeah, it's like you and your wife, Steve. Go to your own room. Dude, my dick is yours. My wife and my balls can't take it. It works out good for me, too, because my dick's a PlayStation guy, but my balls are Xbox loyalists. Sure. It costs me a lot in subscriptions, but still. Sheath is a veteran-owned business. Gertel, you're grundo right now with Sheath's dual-pouch system. You know the deal, everybody. You're dick and balls are in separate pouches. They're constantly coming out with new colors and patterns all the time. They have their luxurious fabric that's on every pair of underwear they sell. Lewis, you've been wearing them since day one. I was a little late to the game, but I got on board and I got on board. That's all I have. I have so many Sheath underwear in my house. It's crazy. Well, what was you told me all the time? You're like the dick and ball pouch. You dick and ball pouch. And I was like, I don't think I need that. My weaner is too small. And then one day you grab me and pull me aside and you go, you don't have to let me suck it. Yeah, you go. You can get it in there. You don't have to use the pouch, dude. Guys like us can just wear what you're under. Oh, yeah. And that is the fact that you can. I use the pouch. I do use the pouch. You use the pouch. You have to. Brown versus the Board of Education. Yeah, it's funny. You don't have to size 3 XL and you buy the 3 XL and they just dangle off you but they're held up by your massive cock. Yeah, dude. It's like a school in the 50s. It's like a dick only school. Yeah, like a bus. They come of course in sizes from extra small to 3 XL. They even have sports bras and women's underwear for the ladies. Or for some of the guys in this competition. That's true. Yeah, you definitely need some fucking bullfin. Yikes. Go to Sheath.com right now. Do yourself a favor and use the promo code LOS for 20% off. And they always offer that first pair guarantee. So if it's not for you, if you don't like it, get your money back. But once you try Sheath, you're not going to go back. That's s-h-e-a-t-h-sheath.com/los and use that code LOS to get 20% off. All right, guys. Let's take a quick moment and thank my company, Body Brain Coffee for supporting this show. Yeah. Come on folks. Everyone's all pumped up and pumped up right now because of the Body Brain Coffee. If you guys don't know, it is the best mushroom coffee on the planet. And I tell you why. Because it doesn't taste like mushroom coffee. Most of those other coffees, they taste like shit. We start with real premium freeze-dried Colombian coffee. And then we added lion's mane, Ashwagandha, Tonka Dalai, and El Thienine. Five simple ingredients that help you with everything from energy, focus, performance, male virility. And if you have low testosterone, if you had older dude, it can help you raise your testosterone. And it tastes like freeze-dried Colombian shit. It tastes like. It tastes great actually, Jack. I know. Also, we just launched the Body Brain Creamer, which is a completely separate set of adaptogens in the tropics. See it, MCT oil, collagen, quarter-seps, rodeo, all the sale on sentiment. It tastes great. It's sugar-free. It is dairy-free as well. We're doing a very special deal right now. If you guys get them both and use the promo code LOSGIFT. LOSGIFT. You're going to get 10% off the coffee and creamer together. Plus, we're giving you a free gift, either the Body Brain mug or the milk froth are absolutely free. Once again, use that promo code LOSGIFT to save 10% off and get a free gift. All right, where were we? Next one. This is fun. You guys, when are we getting together? G. Mike, who is this? Give us a name. Let's be consistent. This is Robert. Robert. Robert. Robert has what I can only describe as disturbing face and hair. Robert looks like he could be your brother. He does, but like my brother is like a real problem. Robert. Hello, skanksters. This is my submission for nicest boobies or man titties. Whatever you guys want to call it. So you guys said give a reason why have a man. First of all, first of all, see the action figures? We can't give extra credit. points, but I got to say mad respect that he has the unposable, they made a choice for you, WWE action figures. >> [LAUGH] >> Good way to anything with them. They just decided for some reason that Macho Man should have a headlock and his other arm up in the air. >> Is that, yeah, I had a few of those. >> Is that the junkyard dog? >> It probably is, yeah. >> That's definitely Macho Man, Randy Savage, or the ultimate warrior. >> This dude's a savage for sure. >> This dude's a real man. >> He lives in a basement clearly, that is the, no, he's not telling his family. >> That is the way. >> This is the shame closet. >> No, this is a basement that he lives in for sure. >> He's hiding from his wife right now, it's like, no, baby, I'm not sending my tits into a podcast. >> I would be, anybody want to take a bet on this? I would say this is absolutely where he sleeps, this is his room for sure. >> No, no, this is, I say this, not an insult at all, not a roast. This guy definitely saw a shame at the link. >> 100%, he's a big-time fan, I did a great, I did 15 minutes, it went fantastic. >> This guy, who wants to take a bet? Anybody want to jump on that action? >> I think this is totally his basement, his work area, I think he's open-piping to like us. >> This is his house, you're saying? >> Yes. >> He is beside the decorated basement. >> He, no, he just, this is like where the wife does the laundry. >> He doesn't live here. >> Lou, I say he lives here. >> Yes. >> I don't think he's going to tell us. >> But not in this room. >> You said wife. >> No, he's got a wife. >> I'm saying he lives, this is where he sleeps. Maybe he has to go upstairs to shower, but this is where he sleeps and he's- >> No. >> I'm not saying no. >> Dude, this guy's like, maaam, I'm trying to do a showdown here. >> Yes. >> I'm giving, no. I'm giving this guy the benefit of a doubt that this- >> How much? >> The only stupid room that his wife will let him put his stupid action figures- >> I'm going to find out. >> Make his thumb movies. >> I know, but how much will you bet on this? >> 500? >> 500? >> You think this guy won't tell us if that's where he lives or is- >> Sure, ask him. >> You think he's going to lie? >> If he gets to it in the next round, I guess, let's see his tits. Come on, Lewis, you're so like this dude, I like the build up. >> 15 of these. >> I have a man boobs up. >> We're not getting a 15. >> I have three good reasons why I have a man boobs up. First off, there's nothing more worse when you're working out and your man titties are almost hitting you in the fucking face. That's not great. >> Okay, none of this is true. >> Yeah, you've never worked outside. >> He's already lied. >> Yeah. >> This is crazy. >> Is this Josie Marcellino? >> Fuck. >> This is Jared Vogel post-prison. >> Wish I got a little more information about saying this guy had a wife before he Steve. You're going to lose your $27,000 so fast. >> I mean, your girl Ramley trying to co-op you also doesn't have a girl. >> No. He said he has a girl. >> He said he- >> When he lives in a basement, he's like, we're trying to work. You know what it sucks, we're trying to work out and count all your money at the same time. >> [LAUGH] >> And shift and she just comes up your knee and give you a nice little scoop slam. >> Dang, cool. >> That shit sucks. >> Second and the third final reason. Being a fat man going to the swimming pool and you got to take off your shirt, Jay, you actually might know this. >> Damn. >> All right, fuck him. >> Let me just get that. >> That's a good thing. >> Wow. >> Wow, that's a good thing. >> What was known to me. I've never one time in my life wanted to be sure to pool. >> Yeah. >> I've always been of the- >> But he will wear a T-shirt while he has sex with his long time living girlfriend. >> It's a fish in tank top. >> And he showers in the dark. >> Yes. >> That's out of respect. >> And tank top. It's all out of respect to myself and the girl. I do fucking a tank top for sure. >> I wouldn't even go- >> I wouldn't even go into the bathroom of the dark. I feel like Bloody Mary or Candy Mary are going to give me- >> You're going to be dude. >> What I do in that bathroom now with that fucking Enema Baday, I need to be the dark. >> Who I ordered my bad days? >> Enema. Does that have an Enema button? >> I think so. >> You need to see? >> I've changed my life. I found out way late in the game that my button I've been using always was an Enema button, and I'll tell you, I've never been cleaner. Now I'm addicted to it. This guy, I've never wanted- T-shirt and a pool always seem to- that would draw more attention. I'm trying to like go low-key and I knew that I wasn't like the grossest person in the war- so I was like, I could just take my shirt off and just get in the pool quick. >> Well yeah, just get under the water, go up to your shirt. >> Yeah. >> Everyone looks good from the shoulders up. >> By the way, it's why I thought I wanted a fucking deep pool. But my house was still to hide my tits and I was like, oh. >> Didn't you got a tread water? >> Yeah. >> You got your water. >> You're like, if you get a pool that only goes to five feet, it covers your tits. >> Yeah. >> You can also just, have you ever done that like bend your knees so your tits are under water? You're like, dude, I walked around like a fucking frog person to keep my- I got in the two foot of water in the fucking steps and then immediately dropped down on to do some weird walk until my legs could stretch out because of the major dip. I would, yeah, every time, no, I live, but I never, and that, and the other thing I had to do, I know, I always picture one time, but several times in my life, just being like, I'm going to get out of the pool with everybody else just by pushing myself up on the side. >> Yeah. >> I'm getting up and I essentially beach myself. Like I get up and then flop my body and then bring a bunch of water- and bring a bunch of water with me. >> Yeah. >> It just leads like a little fucking tsunami wave, and I just have to roll over and everyone's like, oh, God. >> God. >> Just have to beach. Yeah, you beat yourself. You just fucking bring a bunch of water with you and get on land. >> I thought for sure you were going to do the move where you hung the towel over the banister and the low end, just sort of like crabbed it all the way to the low end and it out. >> Two steps towel on. >> No. >> No. >> I made a big scene by fucking beaching myself and then get one in my- and going to my towel in a face. I was like, I hope nobody saw that. >> I'm sure you've had this moment too, Jay, you're like trying to win you're like a kid because I was a fat kid, trying to climb offense and giving up and hanging out with your friends that day. >> I'm going to stay behind until- I'll stay behind and tell the story. >> I'll tell the Arabian. >> I would literally rather fight like I would fight a doberman pincher before I had to climb offense. >> Yeah. >> I was like running away from a dog. I was like, well, I got to fight this dog. >> Dude, the nightmare, whether it's a girlfriend or a fucking rando of like, I do. I fuck in a tank top. But a lot of times what they get to see is me trying the cool take off my fucking hoodie and then dragging my shirt up and having to see me go, no! I'm having this separation of- >> Stop, no, don't look at that. I'm taking this off and- >> Tank top is crazy. We've talked about it in so many, but it's psychotic. Every girl- >> I've had girls. >> As your fucker, every girl goes, that's crazy. >> I've- >> No. >> But any girl that demands it off, I don't put even up a minimum fight. But I just go, you're gonna see you're wrong. >> So put it back on- >> That would hurt worse if I'd go, I'd go, I said! I said that earlier, we had the humiliation- >> Okay, let's do this guy's tits. >> Terrible, especially if you got a pair of tits on you, like- >> Okay, no, these are nice tits. >> Damn it, that's another hairless- >> Here we go, that's a fucking cover everything up down right above the tits, those are beautiful tits. >> That's a kind of question, kind of question- >> Tits, dude. >> If this guy never got fat, if he never got fat, there's no weight, is it that? >> Those things are all in Benjamin, if he never got fat. >> Here's what's crazy, it's not the tits that are striking me. It's both of these guys have what I would describe as a woman's nipples. >> Yeah, yeah, there's soft pink. >> My nipples are like small man nipples. >> That guy's gonna go jerk off, what a fat. >> Whoa, guys, what a fucking love guy, tits, dude. >> Where's Waldo's jacket off the van, when we- >> He ran, dude, God. >> Dude, that guy's gonna be jerking off going, oh, good, somebody's drying their hands with the thing. This guy's got, he's got a wide back, is it because the tits get so big that the arioles go chick, because this would be appalling if there was, these are a beautiful woman. I'd be like, these are great nips, so- >> Beautiful, just look at that, dude. Can you guys give me a favor? Can you cover, put something over his face? >> Like lower the frame, just to the tits. >> Yeah, we want to- >> Yeah, we want to- >> We want to get those man- >> Zoom in claws, that was just his tits. >> Dude, this is- >> Take it into the size, dude. >> These are fat woman's only fans. >> Yeah. >> If guys are in the fat girls, these are the tits they want. >> This is like a centaur, like it's a hot fat chick on the bottom. >> And man on top, yeah, a grizzle. >> Can you zoom into these tits, please, please screenshot them. >> This guy can get into free tea or I'll just do it on my phone, hold on. Dude, this guy can get into free for any low-level rap concert if he was just a chick. >> I can't believe that the technology to get this done is taking this long. >> You guys do- >> Just simply zoom into his tits, I feel like this- >> Also, clearly you had to log out of something. >> Yeah. >> [LAUGH] >> Your payment information is- >> [LAUGH] >> No, but go, no, gee Mike, obviously we don't want to see his beard. I'm trying to- >> Why would you put his beard, I'm trying to get hard, dude. >> I know, I'm just about to calm, dude. >> Gee Mike, why do you want to make me bisexual so bad, what you deal, dude? >> I'll fuck you if you want, gee Mike. >> Gee Mike, if you want to have sex with me, just ask the question, and I'll think about it. >> There we are. >> Okay, yeah, so, my God, for sure, if you- >> Look at that. >> I would just no doubt be like this is a chick. >> Yeah, if I had these tits in my phone, my girlfriend would be mad, she's like, who the fuck is this bitch? >> I know, man, this guy comes quick, huh? >> Dude, if somebody told you, those are Rachel Drescher's tits. >> Huh, I never said yes. >> Absolutely, by the way, she was on the VMA's last night and she was so painfully unattractive, I feel bad for her, just for existing. It also looks like, it looks like a fat girl whose black pimp cut her tits on the left to make sure she knew who she worked for. >> Yeah, that's true, he gave her a dueling scar on her tits. >> Yeah, absolutely, he's like, you're fucking- >> I mean, this guy's getting a yes for me. This guy's a definitely I would say so far two and four have really fucking presented yep delicious tits Delish that dude. I would suck on those nips so hard and I fucked girls. This fact Can I say at skankfest whoever gets in I will suck on your tits at skankfest On the first we do a skanks in the last first we do the skanks. I'm gonna jiggle I'm gonna suck on them We get in the thing where you suck on it and at the end you give it a little fucking Never sucked in a nipple that give it a little nibble on it. I love it They love it a little nib and I think they also like when you give a little when you give a little old man mouth And you cover your teeth with your lips and you fight with that you go mump and it kind of comes out It shoots out. Yeah, yeah, it shoots out it goes gets them going all right. Let's see the next one We got to get at least five can I so I literally have a 10 or five spot, and I didn't know this is gonna go to slunk And I don't want to leave where's your spot? It's a So it's all right. It's fine dude. It's okay to do little Pete works here, but that little I mean I need to go because of that leading As no go. It's a fine ladies. I mean peat me. Come on folks I don't want to go. I love you. This is I love you to say that SD is a horrible heinous devil woman who Is antiquated and all of her ideas and a total piece of shit get over there because she will stop working you if you show up late I'm gonna text you and his replacement for the end of the show Jeremiah walk Jeremiah will be playing Pete Lee the rest of the show Jeremiah you'll be impressed with the whole time Can you do you Pete Lee? I heard we were talking about kids. That worked out great. Yeah, that was great Jeremiah walkers crazy Pete to the spec we already know our plug but crazy Pete's available right now Thank you the new special we're looking at men's men's titan Where we're trying to find the best pair of men since and the here's the thing Contest for a for a Jesus Christ So So here's the deal, but it's got to be tits if they were on a woman. They would be nice tits That's the idea of the very is that's the easy we've decided right now Yeah, that is the way we're doing it and I great. Yeah, we're using That's what we all kind of got to could you visualize these being hot tits on a woman if it was on a woman Would be good and I think we only forget that realize that because there's been two pairs so far that we would all Subwillingly suck if we were young comics trying to get pussy on the road for sure. I saw the last chicks and that was pretty cool Men dude, you gotta tell your family your game Man Thoughts up, dude. He was gay and now you're a game. I'm so hard right now. This is crazy. Yeah, dude. You thought such stuff That sucks that you just found out you were gay right here Go ahead next tits. This is Logan. I'm no, they're not it. No Logan First of all, your face looks more like a woman than your fucking tits dude You look like a really bitchy fucking like a lost prevention in a fucking Walmart. No mom. We have Zac Amico at home These tits are fucking Just a pair zero cleavage man nipples. Get out of here. Let's see. Let's see what he says, but these aren't good tits Yeah, I don't like his vibe. Don't improve. It looks good though. I Would hate these if a woman was slapping her tits like that it would turn me on When it comes to the talent portion this guy's got a real chance the guys definitely do when everything came to seduce my ass He's got some real pizzazz this. Yeah, I'll tell you what. Oh, I'm more excited than I was when I joked I just saw the picture. How does Mike have the technology to slow it down, but not zoom in? He doesn't have pizzazz He has pizzas. You read that wrong. He has pizzas. You know, this guy's got crazy pizzas. He just had say I can't tell who gives a fuck Man, I gotta be honest with you. If this was a fucking show your man face and make me think you're one of which by the way for a later contest Should be are you a man or a woman and we have Great, but now, sir, you're done. I don't want to hear Heo Zempicks that gut those tits are whatever they're fine. Yeah, they're gonna be back to Matt normals. Who cares? Go ahead next We want to see the best of the best what up skanks after season last chance at submissions I gotta tell you something I have I have high hopes for this guy because This is a guy who maybe is fluctuating and wait, but he just has from past contests I've seen this guy might just have a fucking six at a sock tits. This guy looks like he this guy looks like if me and Steve went into the fly Machine something's happening with this guy you that shirt is that's why I don't wear t-shirts I'm worried. This is exactly what happened to me. Yeah, you see you see the head like a low it is These could be bangers. Yeah, by the way, if that's a nipple right there if that's a nipple right there This guy's on the mail rush more of fucking man tits. Wow. All right. Good boy. Come on. This is like meatloaf and fight club I went to my first skankfest last year had an incredible time being able to meet a dozen plus comedians that I'm a fan of Do you see one show? It's a hundred and fifty meetings. Yeah, I didn't like over a hundred of them Yeah, I found twelve. I got to meet twelve because did you just sit at chair and wait until we talk to you? That's crazy He did his own meet and greet. That's me. That's shit. I went to two shows I was over over ten comedians throughout the weekend Skankfest moving forward So being lucky enough to win a golden tag would be some next level shit So without further ado Shit Not what I thought what the you look like your ex-military fuck you just went to jail and stopped giving a fuck Yeah, dude get out of here, dude. Disappointing. That's crazy. I can snap my fingers and have that tomorrow. I would just go to that That's actually crazy that he thinks that those are worthwhile tips. He does have white trash woman tit tattoos Yeah, but now again the nips at this point now. I have almost like a fucking thing with the nips This is a guy's nips those two those two guys Two guys this guy's or had had a woman's ariola nipple situation Yeah, I'm blown away by it and I would also agree that Louis should suck it. I'll suck it I'll suck this guy's tits the winner the winner the winner I will I will pleasurably suck his tits Assuming no one's gonna get worse than the two tits we've seen. I won't even call you gay for over sucking those tits I'm really getting a grip on it. Oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking slap a fucking glass of milk every time All right, this is prank that's my come You did it again, dude. You're not supposed to drink the guest milk You felt the first person 16 years who fell for we were doing that to say what we've been coming into a cup for the past 16 year old Pete Davidson didn't drink the fucking guest milk. I didn't even ask for this time. They just supplied it But Jeremy walkers never doesn't drink glass of milk. It's put in front of him. All right. This next one's rusty. It's a photo Okay, now we're cooking with fucking gasoline. I don't know dude. No, no, there's a lot of hair for sure But he's this is like an alien movie. He's got like four boos. He's got an extra. You're right. Yeah, like fucking total recall He's got a third tid off to the size of your nipple. Yes, and I said my problem Jay before we even get into it And I said can I let me tell you my problem. Please as toes are too long. I feel like you need to you're gonna show your face You can't be anonymous titting us right this guy should be humiliated He's got a th- he's pointing who's third titties not even afraid. I'd rather I'd rather you point to your extra tits Then fucking show me your face now. Can we talk turkey when he fucking plugs up the third tit if you're just looking at the top tit You say that's a fucking great hit and you would hope to God that it's just pixelated and that's not hair This is what would a giant ariola go back to me go to the stomach again for a second his stomach looks like it's painful It does he's got a fucking he's got a rubsore Rubbing all this getting his pants on and off causes him rashes This is crazy. I don't want to suck on this guy since I've been there dude. He's that's going to boss has to get up again I have been there and it's Now the nipples are big and they're gonna hole in the middle of now. Here's the thing. He's got inverted nips I'll tell you right now. I don't want to suck on a sits. That is my gauge here. I don't want to suck Now you can't book isn't can I tell you something Lewis? Please you gotta do me favor when you're judging suck on the tits You can't judge these are guys You can't count body hair. I'm a county body. I'm so hard to take that away. She's a not nice tits I agree that's fine. They're tits without a doubt. They're in the contest. I do love floppy tits Yeah, but they're also they're different sizes. There's a third around the corner you know about already It's so hard to remove the pain my eyes. He's one mole shy of Orion's belt right under his tits These are making me thirsty for a marmel you guys soup You guys super no astrology like me. That's almost a Ryan's belt It's a little deeper. It's pointing at us third tip Do that third tit really should I mean I don't know if you should win But we should give him like a fucking prize pack or something. Yeah something. Yeah third-tits don't something because no one else has had a third tit Maybe in that knife to cut that part off Yeah, I'll tell you what, I would say there are elements of fat where I go I would have attempted field surgery You know, for sure. Let me see if I can fucking sew my belly button back together. So I don't have an asterisks Can you zoom in on his toes and his shitty floor? Do you don't this guy? Oh, oh, oh, oh, no, I gotta say, if he wins, if he loses, we should at least buy him flip flops his size Well, every flip flops aren't supposed to, you're not supposed to be going over the bottom Okay, let's say he's not he's not tightened up enough everything on his body comes forward so everything's Oh, you know what you're absolutely right. He's totally called because there's plenty of heel room now best case scenario That's stain. He's he's doing the walls over and that's staying no, no, no, that's for blood for sure Steve you're wishful thinking that's the blood of his victims or his own blood from Diabetes, but nosebleed somethings happens and he has an one sandals and an one tits. Yeah, no shit, dude Well, that's definitely fucking two points. I mean look how dirty his sandals are. This is crazy, sir Why would you send in this picture? Oh, because he wears those everywhere because he didn't put his face in it He wears those when he walks through the rain for a McFlurry. Yeah And it's all grass Answer these three McRiddles That third tit. He's in the he's in the running Can't be we can't the only time the word running in this guy's ever been in the same sentence Absolutely, but he does have I just finished running flip flops. Holy shit. All right. I guess he's in the running go to the next one Let's get two more. Let's get two more before we wrap up Yeah, give us two worthwhile one give me two seconds But go what they a lot of them look like me Really is that how you see yourself? No, no, you got some titties. No, no, but I'm saying like their faces and their skin tone Oh, these are definitely salt of the earth. Oh, that guy stomach has the same complexion as your nose cheeks. Yeah, yeah He's got rosacea guts He got a squint his stomach looks like Steve's face So we'll do one more photo one more video. This is the photo. This is from Ken. Okay Okay No, no, no, do not fucking count this guy out. Oh, he's got the stretch marks of a sexy black woman. No It's only one picture does he have more than one. Oh Oh, dude. Those are fucking flap jacks dude. Come on. You can't route this guy out his nipple suck for sure Lewis That would suck you definitely come on dude. Oh come on dude. That's JJ here's those are tits, bro. I guess here's the one once again. This is not about tits. Yes. These are all tits They are the best. We're looking for the best tits. I know these don't compare. What are we talking about these are ugly nothing compare your ugly tits Compared to those beautiful white milkers number two had a number four dude. Both of them. I'm doing four There's only two in this round so fine. Okay. Okay. Okay. I think we're thinking the last week. I don't disagree It's just those things are fucking those are real. That's like a 64-year-old woman's tits. Yeah And she only had okay. Oh man. Oh man, dude. Come on. Lewis. Those things are fucking so serious Hold on now. Yeah, dude. Oh wait a minute. Wait a minute buddy. He looks like eyes on a squid Wait a minute now how many pictures of this guy said hopefully there's one more that left it Why is it always the left it that is so attractive? How many pictures of a guy's tisky sin before we call it a Fish will be a pictorial. This guy said it was a whole pictorial of his tits Tittorial different locations by the way. Yeah, I feel like this one should fold out in three parts Lewis Lewis his nipple is dangling pointing down and it's literally an inch and a half from his body tell me he can't be onto the next round This guy can do things with his tits. What do you what is the audience think? Is there these nice tits? No, no, they're not nice. They're not nice. That's the contest Jay. It's simply nice tits Those best tits. Okay. All right, but we're gonna we're gonna put them through challenges that this guy's We don't want to get too many this guy this guy can hold two full boxes of Unsharpened Taikander Oga number two pencils under his tits under that and by the way, not in the box loose pencils will be held under those tits six six under each tits. You could put that Would you want home a woman's tits? No, but I'm looking for feats of tits at some point. It's gone test. We see a speed again, maybe He's got potential. I mean, I guess give him a maybe I don't love this guy. I say we put him All right, listen if somebody else fucking in gets injured. He's a fucking Alternate somebody else loses a tit or a nip. Yeah, can you imagine that phone call to him? Dude you're up. What? I've been continuing shaving just for this moment. He goes honey. I'm gonna have to miss our daughter's bot mitzvah Let's see one more we got a video these better be good tits Mike It's only audio. This is that's how good these tits are you just hear them. This is Hans Hans. Oh I believe So Hans I know Hans one wow biggest loser last year for skankfest He lit listening Hans fucking rolls. Let me explain some Hans came to skankfest and then he ended up fighting the other biggest loser in the boxing match He was the most dangerous thing we've ever done. He was going to die. Yeah, I remember I was in his corner and I was like dude You don't have to do this. He's like I think I think we got medics for them both afterwards and they ended up being okay, but Hans fucking rules Hans got beautiful tits and by the way, you cut Hans's face off and you pretended those that hair is shadow Holy shit. Go zoom in on just a tits. That's a girl sending you we don't have a technology those they have the If you cut his fucking head out with the what do you think this is the future dude? Come on What'll be Boston Dynamics? Relax, dude. We're not robots were people Those tits you take the hair out if the girl just sent you those you go, okay, all right. At least I'm not gonna round some tits Those are definitely good. I don't love the nipples and the left nipple his right or our right his left is a little bit guy But the left he's got a shitty phone. It's not you can't see. Yeah, it's pixelated nips are actually hurting. They're pretty solid I'll do Okay, so make here's what I like yo because there's a big beautiful Family of mine and me and you Lewis can I think appreciate this together here's what I like about this thing that cleavage rides up And those tits flop big so what I like about what he's showing because he's got such a hunch and he's got no neck His head and body are the same thing Lewis what we would love about this if you had to do it is that if you titty Fuck them at the end of my titty fuck this guy's gonna get my cock in his mouth a little bit If his tongue sticking out, I'm gonna fucking reach his mouth with my cock when I go through those fucking sweet tits Oh, yeah, I would say this guy is 100% on to the next one. Let's see what he says first. Maybe he doesn't want to get Talked me out of it. Maybe what's he gonna tell me? I definitely he wouldn't let me to fuck him. Let's say I would hurt Hans is so unhealthy What if it says in the screen at the end of this Hans died No face of white and white and then it gives us near it gives us fucking the dates September 25th Keep that back up phone number Oh my god, he's not even smoking. He's just breathing. God. Everything's a death rattle with this guy His yawns sound like fucking it's the end Oh, yes, oh, yeah, that's hot. That's actually just hot. Go back. Yeah, hold on Gosh another silhouette if you saw a silhouette, you'd be like all day long. I'm all over that thing by the way It looks like there's a nipple on a thumb from this angle because man that is crazy. How is fucking the director's lens thing? They do this This nice. I will say I somehow and so the tip was coming if our if his body was there and that was crazy in that way Is there a fat? What's the what's the weight? Is there a weight or something? There's got to be some formula to the weight you get where you stop giving a fuck about hiding it because I have a feeling Hans lives shirtless a lot of his day. Yeah, and there's that level of fat I've never when I was at my fattest dude I was always like hide it walk with a hunch wear bigger shirts than you even wear and fucking try to hide everything The I wish I had when I went to the gather in the jugalos I would almost get a tear of like envy I go look at you guys you have fucking you're so fat You have oxygen tubes and you're walking around with a tank at a clown festival and still your shirts off not give a shit You're so comfortable and don't give a fuck Zach Amico. Yeah, Zach Amico is who I'm talking. What was your what was your weight? Hey, you're heaviest three 40 I think if you think it's like something like 350 375 is like maybe it's right above where you just go Yeah, I'm just gonna be this guy forever and rocket. They they named they named Hans after what they're gonna cut off once he his diabetes kicks in He's so fat. Didn't make it to his feet. Yeah I hope he does make it a skankfest. I'd love to see these naturals. Yeah, I'll make it We got a helicopter. I'm in on one of those gurneys Oh, yeah, yeah, there it is when he pressed them together like oh come on. Let's go back. Go back that is - There it is. - There it is. - You know his grandmother walked in when he's doing this? She's like, "What are you doing?" - Yeah. - Huns. - Yeah. - Why would you do that? - It's no bueno. - No, you don't do that. - I gave you a rent money already. You're too good for this. - You don't need to do this. - I act like Marty Cohn. I get a whole festival for free. - I mean, look, can I, I'll say right now, dude. - I see my balls right there, and my fucking dick just disappeared, my cockhead disappearing into his sweet, sweet Mexican mess. - I say we have three people going through tonight, 'cause we have a week more we can go through next week. - Yes, so I say we have three people. - Let's say this, great job everyone. They're getting better and better. - Way better. - These submissions are great. - That's Huns, James, and Robert. - Huns, James, and Robert, you guys are through to the next round. - It's real. - You guys give it up for them. We'll get the top, we'll get like the top six to 10. And then we'll do the next round. - Fuck yeah. - All the more on the front end hang this week. - Oh yeah, let's give a big thanks to Pete Lee for joining us on the show. Have at it for Jeremiah Walkins jumping in crazy pizza available right now. - Make sure you fucking check it out. Jeremiah's absolutely hilarious. We will catch you later this week on the Friday night hang everybody until next time. Peace. - You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with Vic J. Oakerson. - Did you suck it? I think I would instinctually suck it. Think with three scenes. - Let's be fucking over, Lewis. - Realist Gomez. - Lewis J. Oakerson, fucker, fucker. - Lewis J. Gomez. - You're trying to watch a retard-drossed walk that's hilarious. - I'm sort of done as a point guard of podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. - And comedian Steve Renn is easy. - The Legion of Skanks podcast. (dramatic music)