Speaker 1Shut up and sit down. Welcome to Being On Stage, the only podcast that gives you motivation, inspiration, and confidence to be better on stage. No matter how you entertain, sing, dance, band, comedian, public speaking, MC, drag, burlesque, performance art, or street performer, this is the show for you. Hey Rockstars, Reggie Dawson here, host of the Being On Stage podcast. Welcome back, and if you're just tuning in for the first time, welcome! Glad to have you. If you've been listening for a while, can you please subscribe and leave a rating and a comment on this podcast on iTunes? Your man would greatly appreciate it over here, thank you very much. So listen, there's this fly, and it is just flying around me, and for the life of me, it is pulling my attention away from everything. I've swatted at it a couple of times, I can't get rid of it. It's just this pesky little thing that just doesn't seem to go away, and I think we all have those in our lives. Most of the time we call it drama. Crap talkers, haters, all that good stuff. That's gonna happen. It's gonna happen as you progress through your career as a performer. You're gonna have these little flies that just come in and out of your life and bug the crap out of you, man. They're a little buzzing and all they're talking in your ear. Maybe they're trying to stir up crap between you and another person, stirring up drama. Maybe they're just there to pester you and distract you. I did an episode about distractions a couple days ago. Check it out. But this little beast, I'll tell you, I've swatted at it a couple of times. I had a whole other episode planned, but as I'm watching this fly, I'm like, you know what? There's a lot of opportunity here. There's a lot of opportunity to turn that into a podcast. That's what I do. By the way, a podcast for performers. I help you turn your talent into a performance and, you know, therefore an experience for your audience, creating that connection. I want to build up your confidence. I want to help you put yourself out there in new and different and exciting ways. And how I do that is I take everyday stuff, things like a fly or an airplane or toothpaste or, you know, a quote that I heard or something I learned in business or something I read in a book somewhere. I take that and I put it in a podcast. I take wherever I can find information. I take it in and I channel it into this podcast and I use it to show you new things and give you motivation and inspire you to, you know, go after your dreams of, you know, performing on the biggest stage of your life. That's what I do. So this freaking fly, he's still buzzing around. You might even be able to hear him. I'll try to see if I can get him to fly by the microphone. I don't know. He's not that well trained, so I don't know if I can get him to do that, but I'll try. But he's he's buzzing around. He's doing his thing. And on some levels, listen, on some levels, he's minding his own business. But on other levels, he's driving me up the wall. I mean, completely. So my my desk, my desk is in a closet. And I don't mean like in a walk in nice closet. I mean, like one of those closets that's just like a little alcove in your room. I built a desk into it. And this fly is in the top of what would be a closet. I'm just kind of buzzing around up there. Can't seem to find his way out. And this so reminds me of a lot of people that I was dealing with, you know, when I was performing on a regular basis. There were these people, these individuals, they would come into my life. They would stir up a whole bunch of crap and then they would exit my life and not even just my life. Sometimes it was people that I work with. And there's just there always seemed to wherever these little flies went. There always seemed to be drama and crap talking. And sometimes even physical fights would break out just because. They're buzzing around, annoying the crap out of people. And you know what? Not for nothing. Yeah, true. They really shouldn't be putting their their their selves into your business, into your life, into your career. They shouldn't be doing it with anyone you work with. But, you know, there are people out there that just can't seem to help themselves. They always got to be involved in someone else's life and someone else's business. And as a performer, we're actually going to attract that a lot more than, you know, I don't want to say like a normal person, but a non performer. We almost attract that into our lives. Why do you think that is? Well, a lot of people, they see a performer as we're in the spotlight. People know who we are. And they want to be near us so that they can get. It's kind of like in high school that popular by association. I don't know if you ever seen the movie Money Can't Buy Me Love. There was also it was Patrick Dempsey. And then there was a remake with Nick Cannon called I think it was also called Money Can't Buy Me Love. But there's been a couple of other remakes through, you know, over the years. And the the the premise is, is this nerdy guy pays this super hot, popular girl to go out with him. So that he will become popular. And what tends to happen is he changes. He becomes a person that he's not supposed to be, ergo insults everybody, including the girl that he paid, learns a valuable lesson, falls down to the ground, learns who his friends are, and thus he's back where he began. And, of course, he gets the girl. But in this in this instance, the the ones that we're talking about, the flies are all those other people. So what happens in this movie? Is as Patrick Dempsey or Nick Cannon, depending on which one you watch, as they become more and more popular, other people in the school start to gravitate towards them. People that used to make fun of them, people that used to, you know, just completely overlook them entirely. They gravitate towards them. They become attracted to their popularity, to their new success, if you will. And this is going to happen to you, too. As you start to build, you know, gain ground and build your career and you are. Becoming more and more of a known name. And this is going to happen. Listen, it doesn't matter if you're just starting out or if you've been doing this for a while. This is going to happen to you or you already know what I'm talking about because it has happened. People are going to start to come out of the woodwork. Sometimes it may be people that you used to hang out with. It's just been a while. Sometimes it's going to be entirely new faces that, you know, charm their way into your inner circle. And it's a form of using you. What it is. Is they're using you to gain a leg up. And it doesn't listen. It's really just a way of them getting attention because they're unhappy with the insignificance in their life. These people don't get up on stage and they don't do their art form. Stupid fly. Now he's getting closer to me. He knows I'm talking about him. But these people, they have so much insecurity in their life that they can't step on stage and they can't be in the spotlight. Some of them will admit it freely and say, no, that's not for me. That's not my thing. Most of them hide it. Most of them hide behind their insecurities. How do they do that? Well, they find your insecurities and they pick at them and they dig at them or they go behind your back and they talk to someone else and they tell someone else things about you or they tell you things about someone else. And whatever it takes to stir up some insecurity inside you, that's what they're going to do. With these flies that come into your life, they're there to stir up your insecurities. They're there to cause you to become distracted from what it is you're working for because they are unhappy. They need you to be unhappy. A lot of times they come out of the woodwork. They're trying to climb this ladder. You're already up the ladder. So they're going to bring you down so they can feel a little bit better about themselves. It's the same thing our mothers told us or our fathers told us. Bullies. It is a form of bullying. Drama stirrers and pot stirrers and crap talkers. It's a form of drama. Let's be real. I'm sorry. It's a form of bullying. So they're bullying you. And most bullies in elementary school are bullies because there's something going on in their life that they're not happy with. So let me be clear. These flies that are going to. And listen, they could come at you one at a time and just fly around and be annoying. Or you could be going through a whole swarm of flies. The things they say and the drama that they start and the shit, pardon my language, the shit that they talk has nothing, nothing, zero to do with your talent. You're great. You're fantastic. But they're going to make you feel like crap. They're going to make you feel like crap so that they can feel better about themselves. Period. And they may not. Listen, they will do it with a smile on their face, like handing you a bottle of water, wiping the sweat from your brow, stabbing that knife in your back. That's how they do it. And unfortunately, you're probably not going to recognize it. And listen, I'm a forgiveness. I preach. I preach. I'm not a pastor, but I preach forgiveness. Okay? I, I don't, my wife doesn't get it either. I just, I don't hold grudges. grudges. I mean, listen, after a while, I don't hold grudges. I just kind of weed you out of my life, but I don't hold grudges. I forgive. I just learn, you know, it's kind of like I have this friend and God help me if she listens to this podcast. I have this friend. We used to hang out a lot. And at first I was kind of like the, the joke among her friends, uh, kind of like, uh, I was there as their comedic relief of someone to kind of poke fun at. And it took me a couple of years to realize that. And once I did, I withdrew from her friends and occasionally we'd meet up, we'd hang out. Um, most of the time I'd have to pay for the food or she'd ask to borrow money. I'll pay you back. I'll pay you back. Um, she always seemed to have money to lend to other people, but never seemed to have money, uh, to take care of her own stuff. She always asked, you know, not always, but there were times when she asked me to borrow money for the purpose of the, you know, because she lent money to someone else that never got paid back or she got screwed over by someone else. Okay. So this there's, there's, there's a point to this. Okay. This was all happening while I was performing. So what also happens is while they're poking while her and her friends are poking fun at me and she's, she's doing things to kind of like plot my performances to not go well. I've talked a couple of times about this fly just flew right at the microphone. Oh my God. He hit my chest. Sorry. Um, lost my train of thought because it's a stupid fly. So all these times that these are, these things were happening while I was performing. Um, there's been times where she'd tell me she's not going to show up and then she'd show up, which may not seem like a big thing, but I kind of had a crush on her at a time and we dated for a while and then we broke up and like when we broke up, she said, Oh, I'm not going to come to your show. I don't want to distract you. And then she showed up that night, therefore causing the distraction and the, the feelings to come up. And I didn't know she was there until she showed up. As I'm on stage, she just pops up in the front of the audience. It's like, Oh, talk about awkward. And then she's also one of the ones that, I don't know if I told you, uh, if I don't know if I've mentioned this recently on the podcast, but I did a show one time where the entire crowd, I mean, not the entire crowd, but a good portion of the crowd were people that I had known and associated with and like kind of a whole circle of friends. And there's like 20 people. Um, she got all of them to believe that I did something, um, like showed feelings. Um, and then she showed up and favoritism to one of the performers I was coaching and somehow got the whole audience and all of them on board to not cheer for me. I walked off the stage to crickets. It's the only time that's ever happened to me is when it was planned out like that. Um, but yeah, so that's the, that's the level of fly that I dealt with. And, you know, after a while, after the lending the money and the not getting it back and then, you know, not hearing from her from a couple of months and then all of a sudden the same thing again, Hey, I lost all this money. Can you please help me out? Let me get food. Hey, we should hang out. Oh, I don't have money. Can you pay for lunch? Uh, that sort of stuff. After a while, you know, you, you kind of learn from it and I can tell you now we haven't talked in almost two years, maybe even three because I've forgiven her. I'm not upset about any of this at all. Don't, don't get it twisted. This has not upset me. I've completely forgiven her, but I'm also not going to give her another opportunity to do those things to me. And that's where I want to get with you is listen, these things are going to happen. I mean, I don't want to get to the point where I forgive you and forget you. No, this is where the point I want you to get at with your flies. I want you to forgive them. You need to forgive them, but it doesn't mean that you have to continue allowing yourself to be duped. It doesn't mean you have to continue giving them the attention and the time to, to, to do the things that, well, whatever the things is that they do, you can forgive and you can forget and you can just move. Right along, along your career and just keep on moving forward because those people, listen, I've said it before. I'll say it again. And I know we're running long, but go with me here. Those people that are stirring that pot and talking that and starting the drama and stabbing you in the back and taking advantage of you and, and getting into your inner circle so they can crush you. Those people, as you move forward and move away from them and you progress in your career, they're stagnant. They're not going anywhere. Get away from them. They are going to drag you down and you do not need that in your life. I love you. I believe in you. You need this in your life. That's what you need. You need love. You need confidence. You need motivation. You need inspiration. You need, you need things that are going to bring the best you out on that stage. So if you want to work together, slide this right in here. If you want to work together, hop on my calendar, beingonstage.com slash calendar. I would love to chat with you and get you started on a plan. We'll chat for like 30 minutes or so, get you going on a good plan. And if you want to work together after that, great. If you don't, great. At least you got a solid plan for what you're going through right now. As always, rock stars, keep on shining. Got the fly.
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