1: Personal Enjoyment vs. Personal Gain

Hi everyone and welcome to the Lana Blakely podcast. I don't have a name for it yet. I have two names that I'm contemplating. I don't know which one to go with. I guess you will find out if you are listening to this right now. So, should I introduce myself? Briefly, hi. I run the YouTube channel. Lana Blakely, that's how most people listen to this. No me. And I'm starting a podcast. I guess that's it. So, what is this podcast going to be about? Great question. I think I've wanted to start a podcast for so long now. And I've just been going back and forth between different ideas. The main thing has been that this is going to be a solo podcast because I don't have anyone else to start a podcast with. And because I just kind of want to connect with you all on a more of a personal level and I just want to space where I can just speak freely. And I guess I can do that on YouTube as well. But YouTube is definitely more curated. It's more edited. It's more produced. And I just want this space to be more raw. And another reason I want to start a podcast is because I want to practice my speech and my thought process. So, for the YouTube videos, I do a lot of preparation. I do a lot of writing. And I have a lot of notes because I want to have a nice flow. And I don't want the videos to get too long. YouTube is just such a different medium. You really need to keep your viewers focused. And you need to grab their attention and hold it for as long as possible. That's kind of the name of the game. There's a lot of filtering. And obviously when I talk about certain things on YouTube, there is so much that I skip because that would just make the videos too long. And some of the things that are insuitable for a YouTube video because again, you kind of want to keep the most interesting parts in and filter out the rest so that your viewers don't get bored. Especially nowadays, I think with social media, we kind of want to consume content quickly with TikTok and shorts and reels and whatnot. Those are very short lived or not short lived. Well, they are short lived in the way that most people don't get. Okay, at least this is what I think. I don't think that most people get very impacted by, for example, most TikToks that they see. It's got your attention for a few seconds and then you scroll on to the next one. Whereas for YouTube video, I think that people. There is a bigger chance of someone remembering what they saw in a video and to actually reflect on what they saw in a video on YouTube rather than a TikTok. Whereas I go in with that, yeah, so it's just different forms of consumption for different purposes. And when it comes to podcasts, when I listen to podcasts, while I do it for a few reasons, the first reason is I just enjoy the conversation between the people that I'm listening to. I may be interested in the topic, but also I just kind of like the company. Sometimes I just put on a podcast as I'm taking a walk or taking a shower. And I just feel like there is someone hanging out with me. Well, not someone hanging out with me in shower. You know what I mean? Just like someone there to listen to and that's nice. And it's not as. It's not as. It's not as important for the podcast to be super interesting all the time. Because sometimes I zone out. I don't always listen to every single word of the podcast that I'm listening to unless it's like an interview style and I genuinely just want to hear all of it. Anyway, so I feel like this is a medium for me to connect with you all in a different way than I can on YouTube and on my other social media platforms. And it's also just a way for me to kind of speak freely and practice that and practice my thought process without relying heavily on any work that I've had to do before recording. But I obviously do still want these podcasts to have some sort of a direction. So I am probably going to have them being see my semi-focus on certain topics. But we will see what direction we end up going in. And a third reason actually is that I just want to stop being so afraid of doing this. Like I said, I've wanted to start a podcast for so long now. But I've just been waiting and trying to figure out the perfect concept and the perfect time to start and the perfect schedule and the perfect subject to make it super interesting and whatnot. And that's not really how I want to be. I mean, I'm not someone who just throws myself into anything at any time. I do like somewhat of a structure and somewhat of a plan, but I also I also don't want to be that dependent on things being perfectly planned out before diving into them. I want to be less fearful and less of a perfectionist and just be okay with figuring things out along the way, which is what I've done with pretty much everything in my life. That's what I did with YouTube and it turned out to go pretty well. And I think it's fine to start something without having everything figured out. In fact, I think that's the only way of starting anything because you will never have everything figured out and things are going to change along the way. It makes me excited that I have nothing to lose and that's often the case with a lot of things that we are afraid to get into. We really don't have a lot to lose or anything to lose really sure maybe there is the embarrassment, maybe it's the cringe anyway. The lesson here being or the inspiration that I hope you may take out of this is that not everything needs to be figured out and it's still okay to start. And also you can do something because you enjoy it. You don't have to do something and be good at it or be quote unquote successful at it. It's absolutely fine to do anything that you like. Well, not anything, but you know what I mean because it's enjoyable. I feel like enjoyment enjoyment is almost not enough reason to do things anymore. There always needs to be this extra thing where well, it has to be also productive or creative or it has to generate money or an audience or it has to make me friends. There always has to be this other outcome besides just enjoyment. I don't know. I don't think that's healthy. I do think that it's important to you. Stop sometimes and ask yourself if there's anything in your life that you're doing only because you enjoy it and not because there's this other outcome that benefits you or something like that. When I look at my life and think about that, I honestly can't really think of much, which is something that I just realized actually. I think the only thing that I do purely because I enjoy it is like play with my dog. I mean, I get nothing out of it other than pure enjoyment and love and obviously like spending time with loved ones. But everything else that I do, there is another reason for it as well. I think maybe that's something that happens when you are on social media as well because everything you do, you feel like you should share because an opportunity to get more content. Wasn't it Gary Vanertrag that said you should be putting out like 50 pieces of content every single day. Don't quote me on that. I think that's what he said. So yeah, and that kind of leaves you wondering, okay, am I doing this because I know it's going to give me content or am I fine doing this thing and not sharing it? I think anyone who is on social media does kind of battle with that sometimes where they wonder, okay, am I genuinely doing this purely because I enjoy it or is there a part of me that's like, hmm, that's actually going to get me quite a lot of content. And that's there's something wrong with that. There isn't. You know, if you get an opportunity to create content from a situation, go ahead, great. But also I think it's important to have something in your life that you do just for yourself. And the times that we live in where we share so much, where we share everything. It's a slippery slope and the lines are kind of blurred. And I think that's something that I need to think about for myself as well and remind myself of. [MUSIC] I want to share with you. Let's see. Five things. that are all my mind right now that may be interesting to think about. The first thing is, why do we care about people's lives? Like, it still kind of baffles me in a way. How we literally follow people online who don't really do anything. Like when we watch vloggers, I mean it's entertaining and it's an art form. I mean it takes a lot of work to get a good entertaining vlog. But isn't it kind of weird? Though we are just sitting there watching someone go about their day. Like why is that interesting? Like why do we care about how someone drinks their coffee or how they organize their pantry? I don't get it. It's kind of bizarre. It's really weird. And I mean I think it's interesting too. I mean I will sit there and watch someone do nothing for 25 or 30 minutes. And I'll feel entertained. But why is that entertaining? It's so weird. And the second thing I've been thinking about is, why do we cringe so hard at ourselves? Like where does the cringe come from? Is it because we think we're embarrassing? Is it because we think we're not good enough? Is it because we think we're stupid or ugly or dumb or not talented? Like what is cringe? Is that a weird question to ask? Like obviously we all know the feeling of cringe. I've cringed a lot of times. I've cringed at other people. I've cringed at myself. But what is cringe? Like what is that feeling? And most importantly, when it comes to cringing at ourselves, how do we overcome that? Because that is, cringing at yourself is, I think for a lot of people, one of the main things holding us back from doing things. Like when I think about this podcast, I'm like, oh my god, what if I make this podcast and it's just cringe? But what does that even mean? Like does it mean that it's not going to appeal to people? Does it mean that I'm going to be talking weird, sounding weird, talking about uninteresting things? Like what is that cringe? And how do we kill the cringe in ourselves so that the cringe does not stop us from pursuing the things that we want to pursue? The third thing I want to talk about is being alone. So, okay. I talk a lot about all my other platforms of the enjoyment of being alone. I also talk about the importance of relationships. And I do think those two can go together. However, something I've noticed is that the more time that you spend alone, like if you enjoy that alone, alone time, it becomes harder and harder to let people in because I don't know. It's just something that I've noticed. Like I have very good relationships. I have very strong relationships. But I also love being alone. And it makes it very hard to let people in. Because I feel like when you enjoy your alone time a lot, in order for someone to get to be in your life, this is going to sound kind of strange, but whatever. I think some people are going to be able to relate to this. It's kind of difficult to let someone into that space of yours, and that energy of yours, unless that person makes that energy better. Does that make sense? Because you're so comfortable and happy with your own space, you're like, well, why would I let anyone come here if they're not making this space better? And let's be real. Not everyone who wants to come into your life is someone who is going to make your life better, right? So, is there a danger in spending too much time alone? Like, is that going to end up making you not want to be with anyone else? Not let anyone else into your life, because you're just so happy and comfortable with your own space. Something to think about. The fourth thing that I want to talk about is style and fashion. So, I wrote about this in one of my newsletters, a while back, where I said that I used to love fashion. You know, I would follow bloggers and tumblers at the time. Is tumbler still around? I don't know. And then, I guess, as my life kind of changed, my priorities changed. I started to embrace minimalism more. I started feeling like fashion and buying clothes was such a waste of money and just a waste in general for the planet. So, I started to neglect that. However, lately, I've been more open to the idea of paying more attention to the way I dress, I guess. Because anytime I see someone who dresses nicely, like I always look at them for way too long, I will stare and I'll be like, wow, girl, guy, whoever, you look great. How did you put that together? You look straight out of a magazine, you look like you came from the 70s, and I'm just loving the vibe, I'm loving the style, and I feel like when people dress that way, they just look more confident. A lot of the times. And the way they just walked down the street, like yesterday, I was walking around, and I saw this guy, and I mean, he wasn't doing a lot with this clothes. But he was wearing these jeans that were very, I don't know, the timelines. I think like, I guess, 90s, early 90s. No, those were very baggy, weren't they? I don't know, but they just had a very cool fit, okay? And then he was wearing some sort of a t-shirt or something, and his hair looked great, and he just looked great. Like this style, the vibe, I was really into it, and I was like, wow. And I've had a lot of those moments recently. And I've also been experimenting-ish a bit more with the way I dress. And I've noticed that whenever I dress in a way that makes me go, wow, this looks great, I feel a lot better. Like I'm feeling myself, I get this whole different vibe, I get this sort of confidence that I don't have when I walk around in my rain boots and my PJs when I'm walking my dog. And it's totally made me think more about the way I dress and how I should actually pay more attention to that because it does actually affect the way that I feel. And a positive way, if I'm dressing nicely, and kind of in a negative way from not dressing nicely. Like if I'm wearing a nice fit, I don't care who I run into on the street. It could be the coolest person, it could be the person that I'm avoiding, it could be anyone. And I'm just going to be there and I'm going to be confident. And I'm going to feel like, great, I'm going to feel great. You know how you're when you dress like shit for some reason because everything is in a laundry or you're just being lazy? You go outside and you're like, I hope to God that no one sees me. And when you have that feeling and that attitude, it does affect your body language. It affects the way that you walk around. You kind of avoid eye contact, you kind of avoid going to places where a lot of people will be sitting or walking because you just don't want anyone to see you looking like that. And then when it's the opposite, you're like, I don't want to go home until someone that I care about has seen me. The passion's not need to be expensive. It could literally be a bag that just makes you feel fabulous or pair of boots or pair of jeans that just fit perfectly or a hair clip, whatever. That makes you feel great. Go for it. I'm going to be going for it more and I'm going to let go of this mindset that it's a waste. If it makes you feel great, it's not a waste. Well, sometimes. The last thing I want to talk about is travel. So I think maybe because of COVID, I haven't really felt like I want to travel. Like I see everyone traveling again everywhere on social media, on Instagram. And before before COVID, I would be like, oh, that would be great. I would love to go to wherever this person is. And I mean, I do you still think that a lot of the places that people go to look amazing and dreamy and lovely. But I don't know. My urge or desire to travel is kind of gone. It's kind of dead. And it's been for a while. And like I said, I do think it's because of COVID because I kind of told myself that, okay, no one knows how long this will go on for. It may be a very long time. So I kind of told myself, okay, in order to not feel crappy about being quote unquote stuck in the same place, you need to kind of let go of desire of on travel. And so I did. And I started to enjoy where I was more and more and more. I started to fall in love with Stockholm, which is where I am from. And the desire to travel just. is kind of dead and gone. I don't think that's a bad thing or a good thing. It's just something that I've acknowledged. And I don't know how you guys feel about that. Do you feel like now when places have been opening up and whatnot that you're feeling this extra, extra strong urge to travel? Because it's been so long. Or do you feel like you've gotten kind of settled and comfortable where you all were that you don't really have that desire? It's kind of interesting to think about. So that's what's all my mind this morning. And follow me on all of my social media platforms lawnablakely everywhere, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, mainly YouTube. And my newsletter, you can sign up on my website, lawnablakely.com. And I hope you enjoyed this first episode. Please let me know if you did. Send me a DM, send me an email, get in touch, send me a tweet. I check all of my platforms all the time way too many times a day. And I will talk to you guys soon. All right, bye. That was my dog snoring. Bye. [MUSIC]