This is a Headgun Podcast. This episode is sponsored by the Great Squarespace. We love Squarespace here at the show. We are constantly using Squarespace to build different websites for the show, that support the show, that support or corroborate some of the show's BS. Again, we've never promised we're very good at giving advice, but Squarespace helps corroborate what we're going for. We have a new website that's not for us, it's for hot takes. Some members of the community have written in. We've been on an email chain and they wanted to start a website, and we wanted to do it for hot takes. So this is a Squarespace-made website. Squarespace offers tons of stuff. They offer cutting edge design. So your website is going to look cool. Beautiful, dare I say. SEO tools, search engine optimization. It's important. It's how people find you. You've got your domain recommendations, donations, videos, subscriptions. They are offering all this stuff on their website. So go to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use offer code, guild, sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. [Music] And we are back. Okay, Jake, so I wanted to walk you through something and I think you'll. It's show related. So I did the waxing, right? Yes. That happened the old Wawis session. By the way, were you doing a tiny shot glass of coffee earlier? Did I see that? Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm limited again. Okay. And I haven't gone back for the waxing since. Okay. So it's grown back. I think so. Yeah. I think it's safe to say that you could see. Yeah. So I'm going back. Okay, but the front. Fronts back. Yeah. I've had to do that. So, Jair, the back's back. Thank you. This is why it's got a compliment. Okay. So I'm in the hotel. And I, you know, they still haven't most hotels figured out the do not disturb technology on the handle. Like if you shut the door, sometimes it falls off, you know. So I do the yoga with the head foot. I'll do like yoga on my phone and I'll have like the headphones in. And you know a hotel is difficult like space wise. There's not a lot of rooms, especially if you're doing yoga, especially if you're sharing a room with another guy. I'm not sharing a room at this time. Okay. That's important to the story. It is. So I'll do the headphones in normally because it's, I have to like put the phone, you know, prop it up somewhere as the speaker gets covered, whatever. This, you're going to flag this behavior right off the bat. Everyone's going to hate what I'm about to say, but I'll normally do for what it because I'm limited on clothes. I'm using a towel as the yoga mat. Essentially doing yoga naked in a hotel room. Yes. You swear to God? Natalie don't. Natalie go away. Wait, is this real? This is real. Is it carpeted? Yes, but I have the towel. You're not getting the whole area, brother. No, but you're moving it around a little. You're I'll take, I'll take a cup sweaty butt juices going on. It's not sweaty. I'm not sweaty. Nobody's sweating. It's not hot yoga, but I am naked. I'm not. I'll put underpants on if you're not sweating because it's I'm trying to limit the clothes usage. I'm milking every day possible. There's more to this. I know someone's going to walk in and you're going to not know if they saw your butt if it was you. No, no, no. My butt is to the door and the door opens and the door opens and it made entered without or maybe she not should be in jail. I'm in my room. Open the door. You should open the door and then the door shut and it had a Natalie, Natalie, your thoughts. Natalie, you're sweating. It's so gross. I agree. It's horrible. It's disgusting. This is a dirty ass hotel floor. You're not wearing any clothes. The towel is not that big. There's tiny hotels. It's not a beach towel. I have, first of all, I have a couple of hand towels up a little bit spread. I'm not making direct nude body contact with the floor one time. So you guys get that thought out of your head. Hold on. Don't get defensive. How can I get defensive? Because we're not tennis and do a yelling intro. Yeah. You can't add so much insanity and then just get loud. Okay. Why can't you wear a pair of underpants? I could. But you said, Gareth, you're not sweating. Not. So that's what I could. So why is you take your underwear off? If you were wearing underwear before, weren't you? Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Probably sleeping naked. I don't know. And now your point. Hold on. But no, you have underpants. You take them off, put headphones in and then don't do the latch lock. Flaatch lock. No. You're walking. You want somebody to walk in on you. No way. You're hot. This is assault. This is the support woman has a terrible job. You know what I've learned about this podcast? I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it with Eric and Steve on theirs too. Eric was talking about there was an intervention because and then another thing he said was he gets like chili oil over the on the bed sheets. And Steve's like, it's like, oh yeah. Look eating it. No, but she's like napkins. I'll say this. Look, this is what I wanted for you. For the poor person who has to be in there after you. I'm cleaning those floors. I'm telling you, there's towels down and I want to be very clear because I'm saying it again, there's towels down. So let's stop running away from facts here because there's towels down. Also this is not a joke now, but I know at a certain point we had skims as a sponsor. Can you send this to Anna at head gum and ask that they send Gareth more underpants? So he doesn't run out of underpants on the road. This 1930s great depression, you're a maniac. I didn't want to wear the underwear on the road. So what? Jake slowly got a new angle. There's some chum in the water and Shark Jake is swimming around 1930s. Gareth lives like it's depression era and I'll be honest. You're not wrong. I'm crazy. I will now. I will now. I will. I will wear underwear. Thanks for saying that like it's a big statement. Dude, that's so cool. Yeah, I wear underwear. Here's what is a great intro. It's a regular problem that a lot of people have and you guys gave some great pitches and I'm going to wear underwear from now on. Nobody has this problem. Nobody. I can add that. Guess what? Three people will comment and be like, I get it. Okay. He's in there. It's a relatable problem. That's what it is. So enjoy. Now, is there an end to the story? What did you do? Did you? Yeah. I talked to 100 dollars. I'm like, what the podcast? And they're going to give him more underwear. Now what happened? Now I tell you what happened. Afterwards, he goes, whoa. Somebody might have walked in and I don't know if my asshole has hair in it because even though the front grew, I don't know if but whole hair grows at the same speed and this is a real question here. Right now, he's going to do a silly voice to pretend to be on top of it. But he thought at the beginning, I don't have eyes that can see my butthole. So maybe there's no hair there, but it's hair. You could either feel it or not. So he goes, so maybe they saw a shaved butt or a hairy butt. Who's to say? Well, if you prefer, Gareth, if she saw your butthole naked or covered in hair, naked. Enjoy the show. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let's say you've got some apps that you've forgotten about on your phone or that you're paying for. Maybe you have a subscription and you forgot about it. That's most subscriptions. Rocket Money goes through and brings these subscriptions to you and is like, hey, do you still want to be paying for this beach body app from three years ago? And if you're me, you're like, no, what am I doing? That's crazy. I don't use that anymore. And Rocket Money is like, you're welcome. And you're like, that's cool. You just save me a bunch of money. And then they're like, Rocket Money. It is a personal finance app. It's going to help you figure out what you need, what you don't need. But that's what they do. So let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. www.rockatmoney.com/help
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They just keep growing and getting better because they know they're dominating and they know they're the only place to go so they keep offering everything. When you're ready to launch, use offer code. Gill sent me to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Hello. Hi. Welcome to the show. Hi. What's his name, please? My name is Jacob. Jacob. You go by Jake ever? Um, sometimes I've never really gone by Jake. I don't know why I've always been adamant about the Jacob thing, but some people call me Jake. I respect the hell out of that. Well, it's not too late. How old are you Jacob? We can make a twist if we wanted. I don't know. I mean, 30 is kind of old to make that die. 30? Don't you think? 30 is too old to make an angel. Last throws. Yeah, but in your 30s, no more big changes. That's no more. The garrath doesn't agree. That is definitely how Jake feels. This is kind of who you are. Jake is like Jake knows raising your late 30s. No microwaving the dish. Eat it cold. It's over enough. So not what he's doing. What do you do? What do you do? Don't salt the pot. They're made already seasoned it. So now it's too much. Now it's too much. All right. Jacob 30. Where are you calling from? I'm in Kansas. Beautiful. All right. Jacob 30. Kansas. What can we do for you? What's going on? Well, I had something embarrassing happen last week. Yeah, exactly the last week last week. Where-- so my girlfriend had the time. She's now my fiance since the past week, I proposed. Way to go. Thank you. We had that winter storm recently. And our furnace was making some interesting noises. So we called our landlord and they sent a guy out. And then basically he worked on the furnace. And he was like, OK, we'll have to replace the part and whatnot. And I'll come back out in a week and he left. Then after that, he turned up the heat to work on it, I guess. So it was like 76 degrees in the house, which is, oh my gosh, so hot. And we have two bathrooms in our house. One upstairs, one downstairs. The upstairs bathroom door was shut. So it was super hot in there. I didn't want to go to the bathroom in there, because I definitely had to go. So I went into the bathroom downstairs, which is directly across from the furnace. So I went down there with my phone in my pocket. I usually wear my Apple watch, but I wasn't wearing it for whatever reason. So I didn't really get any notifications. But I took a book, which is super rare. I'm getting into reading. So I was reading a book on the toilet. And where things go bad is my fiance, and I leave the bathroom doors open. We're not very private with each other. I know. I know. Jacob, can I pitch on that? Yeah, we will be pitching on that. Get to the end. 100% with you here. There's a problem. You don't even see that needs to be picked. Your furnace is at the least your issues. All right. 76 degrees. It smells terrible. The door's open. Hey, it's nice and hot here. Let's get that aroma cooking. All right. Keep going, Jacob. So you're there. You guys got into reading? Yep. Yep. I got into reading. And then so I'm down there. And I've got the door open. And then I hear steps coming down the stairs. So of course, I think it's either my fiance or one of our dogs or something coming down the stairs. You know, door wide open, whatever. And low and behold, the HVAC guy comes around the corner. Oh my God. I'll expose pants down, doing my business, re-in-the-boss. Oh my God. What? [LAUGHS] Absolutely. That's humiliating, Jacob. It does just so bad. I mean, having a HVAC guy see you taking a dump is a nightmare. It's also-- I can't believe the idea that we even have to tell people-- shut the-- there's a thousand reasons to shut the door. But the idea that someone's working on stuff in your house-- The door. --and you're just like, oh, just going to sit here and have a crap and read. Well, OK. He left the house, left. No, I got you to come back. No, what Garth is saying is it's not about the HVAC guy. It's about the doors there for a reason. But again, that's how this calls about. We've made our point very clear on that really quickly. What book were you reading? Oh my gosh. It was-- It was-- Let me see here. What book was it? It's the new Mark Hoppick book, "Faring Hite 182" from Blink 182. The base player. Yeah. Perfect book to be reading while taking the dump with the door. Blink 182, you're doing Stink 76. We're good. So he-- OK. So take us back to where we were, Jacob. He walks downstairs. The door's open. You're dropping heat. What happens? Yeah. So tons of things went wrong here. Of course, none of this was what happened. If I went into the bathroom upstairs, he wanted to see me that at all. But I did the rare thing to win downstairs. But so we got even worse because that bathroom door downstairs opens out, not in. So I can't close the door. Right. You're trapped. I'm so sorry. I got-- So you know how the door-- sometimes the door can swing into the bathroom. This door goes out into the hallway. So you would have to do this-- He stands-- Well, he can't-- he could do the one-step grab if he went in. But he's got to do a crab walk. And with the pants at the ankles with your hog flopping around in a dirty gun. With the hold of your ear in a situation for a rock biography in his hand. Yeah. And if you fall there, Jacob-- Yep. Yep. Yeah. I'm with you. Don't do the reach. I would-- But also, by the way, but by the way, Jake, sitting there is also in-- I mean, to just beat-- I'd be like, who are you? Yeah. Pretty good. Or you say, mine clothes in the door. But then it makes it feel like he's the creep. Yeah. Hey, pal. Shut the door. That's a loss. That's a loss. Like he's the crazy guy. Hey, Jesus Christ. I tried to take shit. Shut the door. Yeah. It's crazy. I'm reading Blink when I need to and taking a shit in my house. Shut the door. And he goes-- And then he would have to go like this, I'm sorry? Occupy don't. Yeah. So that's crazy, Jacob. So what happens? You see him, you're taking a dump on what happens. So he's also on the phone with my landlord, because he needed to get the serial number for the part or whatever and get a quote. So he's on the phone with my landlord. He doesn't want to say anything. We just make awkward eye contact. Oh, he knows. The corner again. And then-- No, no. That can happen. Yeah, he's pretending like it didn't happen. But then he comes back around and he closes the door for me. Jacob, there's no bottom here. This is insane. By the way, Garrett, you're right. There's no bottom. You could not be-- You could not be gay. It was already horrible. But that's this guy's-- You're not gay. He just-- he faked it and then just went-- By the way, this smells. He was probably like, this is atrocious. I can't-- by the way, I can't work like this. This is door. I can't work like this. Why have a door? Why shit down here at the door open? I'm fixing your furnace. You maniac. There's a guy in your house. You don't want to hear me call this show. Not you, Jacob. Honestly, this guy should be calling this show. This is--
guys should be called to show me like I got to go back there. What do I do if he's doing it? I would say quit the job. Yeah, you don't say go. No, yeah. Jacob, so then what happens? Um, okay. So he, he tries to set the door, but it's also in the same area as our laundry room. And for some reason, I just hung hoodies on both the knob. The door can't even shut properly. I have to, I have to do the little get up. Oh my god. You did the crap holding the door. Oh my god. Oh my god. So I'm holding, I'm holding it. I'm listening. I'm waiting for him to leave. He eventually does leave. I hear steps go upstairs. I wait a little longer, of course. And then I'm just like so embarrassed in my beyond phase upstairs. I'm like, why didn't you stop him? The idea. How, by the way, how could you blame her? How dare you? The idea that she has any culpability for what you just did. She is back there. Jacob. How, by the way, I've warned you twice is who hurt you? Honestly. Who you? Okay. Okay. That's insane. It's insane. She's so, this is like a drug addict. Be like, everyone did this. You know what? I've, this one actually feels like we're in a rehab facility and this is day one. Yeah. And we're like making eye contact, writing stuff down like for sure. You and me are the weird counselor guys that we're going like this guy's out of control. And you're like, Jacob, you're the guy going, you think I need help? Yeah. Jake, Jake, Jake, you know, I come back in a little bit like the genist. Let me tell you what the HVAC guy did. No. Let me tell you what my fiance did. No, Jacob, then all you brother. Yeah. So, yeah. So Jacob, you do the weird hold. He leaves, you go upstairs, you yell at your beautiful fiance. Yeah. She's going like, I've always wanted you to close the door in the first place. She's also like a week ago. I attached myself to you forever. Yeah. Really fast, Jacob. Can you put the fiance on the phone for just a second? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Throw her on. I can ask for a quick question. Hello. Hey, how are you? Can we get your name, please? Amber. Amber, quick question. Whose idea is it to leave the bathroom door open around your fiance while you guys are taking dumps? Well, have you smelled him? It's got an air out. That is like the joy. That is the Jake. Jake, is there a word? Is there a perfect? You guys are perfect. Is there a word? Say it? So the what just happened? No. Spread the smell wealth because the dogs need to hang out in there. No. And also because it's so bad, you need to air it throughout the whole house, not just the bathroom. Is that the logic? Amber. You kids. Amber. Get out of the bathroom. Wait, Amber, Amber, is your logic because his dumps smell so bad, you need to keep the bathroom door open so that it can take over the whole house. No, don't get trapped in the bathroom. So when I go in there, it's not so wingery. It's got an air out. Amber, Amber, you familiar with oil spill? Have you ever seen an oil spill? Do you ever notice that they try to get it out as they try to stay? They don't go. Let it spread. It won't be that much oil as long as it goes everywhere. How about a fire? How about a fire? About a fire. Let it burn everything. It'll tucker itself out sooner or later. Good question. And we'll of course get to this problem. But my God, this bomb got dropped on us. Yeah. Um, do you have a, just pitching? Do you have a window in the bathroom? It's a great call, Jake. We do within the shower. Okay. Hey, hey, hey, amps. Let's do this. It's in the shower. It's okay. It's a shower like it makes your policy. Okay. What are you talking about? Agreed. But we're not going to drown. But Jake, we really, we know. I mean, these kids are lucky. They found crazy. They need us. You guys need us more than anyone's ever needed. This is just this at even the dogs are furious. The dogs, we don't want to shower. The shower right now. Oh, check. You know what? The dogs going that bathroom amber. They're trying to open the shower window. So Amber, the H back guys with two towers behind them. Please. So Amber, the door to the bathroom, let's close it. Yeah. And let's crack the bathroom window. So that smell goes outside, not throughout the house. Is that can we agree to that? No, nobody who tried. Now, Amber, when you go to the bathroom, do you close the door? Jake, you don't want to answer this. I can. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, - That's one way. - Not much, but. - Our bathroom is super tiny. So when you close the door, you're kind of squished. - This is kind of squished. - Squish. Listen to me, Amber. And this is for Jacob too, who clearly, he, listen. He's behind yelling like you do it like you're, neither one of you should be doing this. The bathroom is a space for one thing. You don't, you kids don't need room to lay down on the floor. Shut the door, which we know opens out into the hallway. So it's not like your super, that's the downstairs one. - Either way, there's no point in trying to make this room, it's not a rumpus room. Just close the door. The whole point of it is for one thing. Get in and out. - Amber, when you hear that from Gareth, which I think is really smart, what do you think? - What do I, what? - What do you think when you hear that from Gareth? - I don't know. (laughing) - Amber, let me ask you a quick question. - We're gonna just go through all this stuff here. - Because Jake, the comments will be like, I think it's lovely. - Yeah, who cares? Then the comments are wrong. - I completely agree. - So Amber, why don't you close the door when you take dumps? - Well, my dog's coming and sometimes I like to put my legs out and it's dreads. Yeah, we don't want the dog scratching the door. - We're gonna have him coaching. - Explain what you mean about put your legs out and stretching. - That's where I'm flagging. - But you're, how long you in there? - Yeah, we just tell you. - How long you, what do you guys eight feet tall? (laughing) - We're back soon. - All right, Amber, here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna get off this bomb because I think it's gonna kill us all. - Yeah. - And can we go back to Jake, because it's lovely. - It's great to get into a love. - We're happy that you're happy. And you know what I'll tell you, Amber? I'm happy you guys found each other. - Oh, for sure. - Because you cannot be like out there searching for a partner. - Rocky Cho other. - It was in the open door crapping. - Because you like to put your legs out. - Because you like to hogs want to smell it. - You want to get fur involved. - Yeah, so let's, Amber, thank you. Let's go back to Jacob and Garrett. Let's just get to the questions. - We really agree. We have not gotten anywhere near the question. - All right, so Jacob, what is the official question we can help you with? - Okay, the official question is, how do I apologize to this guy in two different ways? I could either do it in person. If I'm the guy here, when you have replaced the part, or do I leave him a note when Amber's here? - Yeah, well, first of all, that's a great question. And we can pitch on that. - Absolutely. - I'm gonna say, no way do you do it in person. - And I'll tell you why for my two cents. - And you shouldn't. Because first of all, you're not making any changes. It could happen again. - What do you mean he's not making any changes? - He's gonna keep shit in the door open. - No, I need to make a change because her Amber's sister is gonna start going to school here in our town, and she has to stay at our house sometimes. So I need to make this change. - Okay. - This is, this is the degree of seriousness that this has taken. - I love Jacob. - I do too. - If only someone would invent a piece of wood that went in that door, is it? (laughing) - Yeah, I'm gonna handle it. - And I like a handle and I think like an option - Close perfect. - And like shut you off from the other parts, you know what I mean? - I don't know. - I have to figure something out that I could have privacy while going to the bath. - But then it would smell. - But you could put like a window, yeah, go ahead. - But that goes outside. - Yeah, they smell like house. - Very much, very very true. - So it hasn't started until her and I moved into this house. - I haven't done this any other time. - Okay, so this is-- - Okay, so this is-- - Understood. - Right. - So let's just go to you, Jacob, because I gotta tell you, we're not gonna get through to Amber. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And that's another call that we're not qualified to help with. But to you, sir, close the fucking door when you take a dump. - Yes. - You hear me? - I know. - Jacob, do you hear me? - I hear you. - I don't give a fuck if the dogs wanna go in there and lick your goddamn ass. When you're taking a dump, the door is closed. If the dogs bark, put them in another room. - Yeah. - They-- - Dogs will go like this. - I wanna be in there. - Yeah, but-- - But that's because-- - You created the condition where they think that's how this goes. You need to take it, you need to take the power back. And I heard you say in the background, Jacob, they're scratching it. I've gone through this with my cat. You put it, put something over the door that prevents the scratch. This is just-- you call this for a different reason, but this really has to be a wake up call. - Especially-- - This is an intervention. - This is an intervention because now she's bringing her sister in. If she starts cracking up the door, all that-- - She starts scratching her own leg out. - The all bets are off. This is like a TLC show. - What is your wife gonna lay on the toilet while taking a dump? - I just, the spreading out part will--
effect us forever obviously. Yeah, it's, it's not okay. But again, Jake, let's focus on the problem. Now the question is, how do we may at first? Yes, but hold on, but first, because you're right, dear, and we're going to get there. Jacob, as your lawyer, I got a piece of paper in front of you. Will you sign you personally will always close the door upstairs and downstairs? And if there's jackets and sweatshirts on the door, you take them off before you take a dump. That's what people do. Well, you just don't know what a door is. I think it's like a jinger. Yeah, so Jacob, can we get you to agree from here on out? You, sir, oh, guess what? Bring the dogs in before lock them in. I'm not going to cosine that, but if that's all we get, okay? Who cares? And then what you're going to start doing is you're going to open up the window in the shower and the smells are going to go outside where they belong. Can we get you to agree to that and just to start? I, I will find that. You swear to God. It's where to God. If you ever are in the bathroom and the door is open, I want you to make a voice note and go, I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I'm keeping the door open because I'm a lunatic. I'm a mad person. I'm insane. And I just want to apologize to the we're here. We're here to help community and send it to us. We'll air it at the end of episodes. And then at the end, go one. If we get to five, Jacob, if we get to five, we're going to figure out a real punishment here. We're going to get you a porta-party and you're going to be going outside like a construction worker. You might have to dig a goddamn hole. You want to be an animal? We'll treat you like an animal. Yeah. Okay. But you can fix this problem right away. And I will also say, I think we should be trying to coach Amber in that direction as well. I mean, I, I really do. I included. I put her put her on the phone. I just think it's got to be a community. This is like two people have to stop drinking for them to all quit. They start going sideways. We got to get back. I agree. I have stuff that I want to talk about. I want to get to the problem. I don't care. Go ahead. Talk to Amber. Look, we're, we're talking to Jacob here. And you seem like great kids. And we're really happy for you and all that obviously. We're just trying to clean up a thing that I think long term is going to not only be helpful for your relationship before when people come over and experience the love you two have created. We're getting Jacob in the zone right now where he's agreeing to close the door when he's in there. Okay. So he's going to close the door when he's in there. That's a big deal for us. Can you also commit to trying to shut that door when you're in there so that we're not so that it doesn't feel like you're still having a cocktail with dinner. Well, he can't, let me jump in. Yeah, let me help me man. You're being really nice. There's a lot of words. Hey, Amber, close the fucking door when you take a shit. Okay. I don't want to hear Amber. I don't want to hear about the dogs. I don't want to hear about stretching. What is the fucking very quickly? Just quickly. What do you mean stretching out? What are you doing in there? Yoga. Well, like if I'm sitting there and my legs don't always reach the floor. So I'll kick them up. You said you're five six. You like should always reach the floor. Get a squatty potty. You don't have to sit there like Drew Barrymore on the tonight show at six. Go ahead. She said she's five six. It's the floor squatty potty. She doesn't need a squatty potty. Let's take a seat on the floor. Hey, Amber, can we get you to agree? When you take dumps, you close the door. Can I get on your lawyer right now? You will. Okay. So now, will you make a promise to me in this community and we got people on Thailand listening. If you ever, if you ever find yourself in that toilet and you've started and the door is open, when you're done, you grab your phone, you make a voice noise. You apologize. You say I have taken a dump with the door open because I have a problem with this and you number it and then send it to the show. I'm going to say we even need to go one bigger because they now have to hold each other accountable. If you catch one of the others, make a mess with the door open. I want a picture. I want a picture. No, yes. Yes. I want hold on. Let me finish and then you could say and we can at least we can put it on our Patreon. We can blur the faces. This is a blur the face. You want a photo of how dare you. You've been on this call with me the whole time. You think this is a fetish that I've been slow playing. Okay. Okay. Amber, no, no pictures. But if Jacob does it, you send a voice night, rat him out and we'll get Jacob to do the same. Can you agree to this? We're starting immediately. Yes. That's today. That's the next crap that starts. Yes. So then do me a favor. Then say your name. It will be about your last name. Then say I agree that when I take a dump, I will close the door. I will not be bullied by the dogs. If the smell is too intense, I will open up the shower window rather than the door airing it to the house. Will you say that for me, please? I am very well close the back and go or ignore the dogs and open the shower window. Thank you. You're great. We appreciate you. How can we go back to Jacob? This is going to be a big help, Amber. By the way, Jake, you know who the real winner of this call is the sister. I mean, we just saved her. How about the dogs? Dogs too, but the sister. The sister now doesn't have to go hang out in a saloon. How about anybody who goes to that house and eats in their kitchen? Oh, that's just Amber. Can we talk to this? We Jacob, please? Yeah, I'm back. Can I include something that happened yesterday that I also think goes into it? We would love it. So we went where her mom's house yesterday and all over it. All over it. I don't want to hear that her mom takes shits with the door open or that you accidentally crap there. The sisters did. Oh, God, I can't. We kept in this with their old family. We were sitting in the house. They came in. We were there before them because they were picking them up from school. And one of them went in, went to the bathroom. Amber went, are you going pee right now? And she's like, yeah, and she's like Jacob's here and she's like, oh my god, so close the door. So oh my god. Look, we can I have I have 10 sisters. It's normal. Wait, you said 10. Jake, this, how many brothers you got? I'm the middle child out of 13. You got 13 siblings grown up and people aren't closing doors. Jake, this is Jake, you know what this is going to be sick. Jake, this is like an episode of Horders and we just found the attic. You got 13 kids in a house out of the 13. How many are closing doors? No, my parents are divorced. So more from my mom, come up from my dad. Oh my mom's dad does help. That's good. Oh my god. I guarantee you that divorce happened because of this. I think it was part of it had to be part of it. One of them was like, look, I can't do this anymore. The parents will deny forever. It's like the kids fall. But sometimes it might be. Yes. Yes. Somebody went like this. I can't do this. Everybody's shitty with the doors. I'm like, if we don't have company, I'm not wearing clothes. There's no one in my family. You said you're not wearing clothes. But hold on, Amber, what does that even mean? Like you're just, you're like, hey, I'm making devil eggs and my ass is out. Is that what you mean? Or do you mean like you might be in like underpants in a big shirt? Or is your literal bush out while in the kitchen? You bush the devil eggs while your sisters crap them with the door open. They're usually underwear. How about bras? Sometimes depending on your good day. I'm about to shoot. You're just walking around with the boobs flopping around the garden. What is going on? Are you wearing underpants and no shirt just walking around the house? Taking dumps with the doors open. Oh boy. Okay. Look. Now hold on. I know you are not Jacob for God's sake. No, you're not. No, you're not. You got no, you got hoodies hanging on your crap factory door. Jacob 76. I don't have a problem. He's sitting there. If your crap still, the smells are going through the house like a pie and a loony tunes cartoon. He yelled, I don't have a problem. But here's my question. And then we got to get to this. My question is Jacob, did you grow up crapping with the door open? Or was this learned from him? No, this is an very private family. I only have one brother. Yeah. Yeah. This is crazy to you. Okay. So you're going to, you're going to drive point on this, sir. You're going to have to send us voice notes and shame her a little bit if she does it. By the way, we're still solving the problem. She's going to hang up and go. Tell us guys, we're just being funny. It is totally normal. Oh yeah. She's going to go. My dad used to take dumps on the floor of the living room. Yeah. Just just to get away better consistent with the alcohol. This is she's in a couple weeks. Gonna go, we can have a glass of wine while we cook. Yeah. Exactly. Merle one is not a drug. Just okay. Let's take some animals. That's fine. Exactly right. I can eat it. Okay. The good thing I'm straight edge. So we need something. You do have a vice, buddy. Yeah, it's my bike. Going to the bathroom with the door open. Yeah. So Jacob, Jacob. First of all, thank the beautiful Amber. We appreciate it. But now we are going to get to the official pitch. The first thing I'm going to say is no in person. We've already embarrassed
this guy enough, my pitch is going to be actually pretty straight here. It would get a bottle of nice whiskey with a note that said to the guy who had to see me going to the bathroom. I apologize. Our door was broken at the time. We have since fixed it. Won't happen again. My bad. Enjoy this bottle of Jameson. So that hopefully you could forget what you saw. I love it. I think it's a great pitch. I'm going to say just very quick relatability. I want time. These guys were when I was in an apartment. We're coming over to fix the sink. They did their job. They left. They as soon as they left, I wanted to work out. I for whatever reason was doing P90X in my room completely naked. One of the guys forgot something. And as I was doing bicep curls, totally naked. He walked by and I went, oh my God. Then he left. And our relationship was never close, but it was never right again. So I do think it's a poor who are you to judge? Jake, very different all of this. Very extremely different. And I'm not we don't have time for me to tell you what you know why it's different. You know why it's shit. Because it's short sound brother. I agree. I agree. And you know what I think. Well, is it chicken balls got to be flopping around while your PX 90 and by the way, all those squats in your bed. It was bicep curls. But also no, no, no, PX 90 you're doing all sorts of stuff. I wouldn't walk in those bicep curls. I know. I'm not kidding. I do think sweatband on. Go ahead. But you've also told me about those workouts that the you lived in an apartment building that people underneath hated. I can't believe you remember that. Yes. Yeah. One day, one day the guy goes, Hey, enough. I was like, okay, I was doing plyometric work on the second floor of an apartment. But my question for you, what's that bedroom carpeted? Jake, I don't ask it. Yes. By the way, I want you to apologize right now to Jacob and Amber for judging. No. Because you're an ad if you're a counselor, you have cocaine all over your nose. I just want to rock. Then I'm going to ask you to then I'm going to ask you to mute yourself for a little bit because we can't. So all right. Okay. Listen, Jacob, you have a call on your breath. Jacob, you are a counselor. Jacob, Jacob and Amber, I look, I was trying to get the full disclosure, but we got so in the weeds about what you guys have been doing. And as much as I don't see the direct parallel, I brought it up because I relate to your problem a little bit. And what I'm saying is I think that gives me a specific. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You guys crap with the door open, your monsters. I'll mute myself. I don't know. Hey, Jacob, what do you think about? What do you think about the note? I have a pitch to Jake. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. My pitch is this. I think that's great. I think that's a great way to do it. I'm going to go a little more in the direction of why don't we make this a little funnier because this is so fucking crazy. So what I'm going to pitch is you buy them two boxes of raisinets and you wrap them. You get a happy birthday card. You cross out everywhere. There's an H and you put a CR before it. And you write a note similar to what Jake said where you say, and I think you hand it in person. You say, hey, I know what happened the other day a little while. I wanted to get you something to sort of say my bad. So you get my crappy birthday card and raisinets that look like little. Okay. So rather than happy birthday, that's fun. crappy birthday. I like making fun of yourself a little bit. Yes, you have to. Like I promise you, I don't I'm not a creep who likes this sort of attention. You're making a mistake. Making a joke or you know what I'd actually write. Please listen to the podcast. We're here to help where I discuss what happened here. Very embarrassed. But Amber and I are making changes. I what you had to see while we were still in our sickness. Here's a bottle of wine, a bottle of booze so that you can hopefully forget about the trauma I made you endure. You know what you're doing, brother? In AA, you're making amends. Yep. You're in a very important step right now. This is I think step two. I believe it is. And it's a long one for guys like you. You and Amber really have a long list. You are. This is I am making amends because I have a problem. Yes. Keeping the door open when I go to the bathroom. The problem is getting fixed. I'm sorry that my problem, my illness got thrown on you. Yes. Here's a bottle of booze or even a gift card to like target for 50 bucks. Yeah. Something. And I will say you too, you're going to a lot of people are going to rally behind your cause. I guarantee you do not listen to them. Jake and I are right. This is not okay. This is not okay. And also you need to know sometimes the loud voices are wrong. Gary's been saying that for a long time. Oh yeah. This is they they're going to come out. I think it's nice. Who cares? It's by it's a human front. Yeah, I hear you. I hear you. No. You're wrong. I hear you. I hear you. No. You're wrong. That's it. So Jacob, what are you going to specifically do on this one, sir? I'm going to get him a nice bottle of something right at right a nice note. And then Amber is pretty much the only delivery because our landlord lives in Colorado. Okay. All right. She can do the do it. It's better if she does it. Yep. It is. He don't want to see you. And then Jacob, I just want to say to you and Amber, thanks for doing a master class. I'd be in a great call. Honestly. Thank you guys gave so much. We appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. That's the dogs for us. Outside of the toilet. We'll do. Take care. Thank you. Bye. This episode has been brought to you by Way Fair. Way Fair is a place that has a bunch of different stuff to sell at discounted rates. 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Quince.com/here to help. And we're brought to you by HelloFresh. Nothing hits like home cooking and HelloFresh makes it easy to do more of it. This year with recipes that don't just feel good. They taste delicious night after night. Bring everyone together with meals that are simple and rewarding on a busy weeknight. Keep it simple. Keep it easy. Choose from more than a hundred recipes every week including cuisines from around the world. You could choose from 35 high protein recipes each week. New Mediterranean and GLP one friendly recipes. And press guests or treat yourself with new grass fed steak ribbys. Make meals with seasonal produce like payers, apples, asparagus. When you're done you're surprised you did it. So go to HelloFresh.com/here to help 10 FM to get 10 free meals. And a freeze willing knife which is $144.99 value on your third box. Offer valid while supplies last free meals applied as discount on first box new subscribers only varies by plan. Hello. Hi. Hi, how are you? Good, thank you. Can we get your name age where you're calling from please? Yes, I'm going to go by Caroline. I'm 25 and I'm from the southeast region. You're being very non-specific which we welcome here that we're here. That's fine. No, that's fine. I would do that. I would do it too. I would definitely do it. I've actually called the show and done it. Okay, Caroline. 25 southeast. What can we help you with? So I'm a tax accountant at a firm in last busy season which is like January through April. A few offices in our region did this little morale boosting challenge where we entered weekly questions or points.
and the top people were supposed to get a gift card. Well, me and two other co-workers ended up winning, but by like, Mayor June still not gift card. So I asked my manager who'd been charged. Even if she was like, "A suit, I've been way too busy. "Totally forgot. "Okay, fine. "I let it go." And then, August passed, in September, I checked in again, same response. "To busy, totally off for radar." Well, I followed up at least once since then, and so now we're in February, almost a year later and still not present. What is going on now? Crazy. Oh, for work incentivizing, that is so insane to not follow through on this. This is becoming a real American problem. Yeah, this is the follow through. There's no follow through. Of all the issues we got, this is number one. No comments. I don't agree. Okay, by the way, this is a clip and we're shutting the comments off. Yeah, keep going. Well, without going to HR and making things all towards working closely together in a very small office, how do I go about getting this gift card? Because it's not even about the gift card, really. Yeah, it's a principle. Completely. That's what we're sort of saying here. Where was the gift card, too? Did you say? No, I don't know. It's probably like a visa. Okay, and how much was it for? Probably not much. Who could have? It's more about the principle. Okay, all right. Not a life-changing amount or anything. And who would be, and who's the boss? Can we give a name to the person who we need the gift card from? Let's do a real name for the boss. I'm kidding. Oh, I can't. No, I'm kidding. We'll do Mary. Okay, so Mary is the boss. Mary has to buy the gift card, and we need to get Mary to send you the gift card. And as of now, you brought it up and it hasn't come. Is that all true? Yes, but she's not buying it. It's more, I mean, it's a big firm. I mean, you know, so it's not her money. It's because she has to check in with-- Yeah, she just has to do it. Probably some other time. It's on her though. Yeah. She just has to do it. Right. Exactly. And she willingly signed up to do this sort of stuff. What do we have in terms of access to Mary? Do we have an email? Do we have tax? I'm just-- Yeah. This is so early. I'm just-- Like how comfortable-- And what are different ways we can get at her? Yeah. Yeah, we-- I mean, I see her three, four times a week. We use team messenger and then email. Oh, I have an idea. Go. Next time you see her, go, hey, really strange question. I got sent a card with no name and a gift card at my home address. Was that from the survey? Did you send me the winning card? This is such a good picture. Because it wasn't signed. And-- This is a great picture. And then she'll go, oh my god, we haven't. And then you go, it's OK, it was so weird. And she goes, yeah, I got a $200 gift card. So I don't know if it's me or-- And you're like, OK, and then she'll go, we're so sorry, we haven't sent that yet. And go like, thanks. Or you don't do the gift card. You go, it was a gift card in the bottle of wine. And it said like from Jim, are you guys Jim? This is a great pitch. I had a pitch. It's much weirder. What's your pitch? Let's just hear it. My pitch is that you-- and I was going to need some help. OK. But since it's the tax world, right, we're coming up on tax season. Carolyn says something to the effect of, hey, I'm doing my taxes under my donations and gift section. I want to put in what the gift card was. Or would the gift card's going to be-- Or would it tell me how much it's going to be? I just want to put it in this year's taxes. Caroline, does that make any sense in the world of taxes? Because Jake and I have no clue. I mean, I would probably not have to report it because it wouldn't be big enough to have-- You don't know that. But you don't know the amount? You don't know the amount? That's what you're saying. And you're basically saying, is this a reportable amount? You could make it playful, but you go, the gift card I'm going to get, I'm sure it's not. I'm sure it's going to be small from the survey. But I'm just-- you know me. I'm such a perfectionist. I'm a ridiculous-- I'm crazy. That's why I'm willing to be a good employee. But a bad person, you think what would happen? I think she would know that, like I'm trying to get at something. OK. OK. There's something I really liked about that, though. But I totally hear it. Is there anything in that zone we can do? Or you know what you could say? You could go, I've got a question for you. What is the amount of gift again that could be in your opinion written off? Like I said, you get a gift card. And then you're like anything under $14,000 that need to be reported. You know, either-- That's what I was saying. I like that. Listen, I like that. I do think-- I think what the problem is, what you're flagging, is that it's a little more obvious what you're going. In Jake's pitch, you literally are just trying to see if you check that box. So if I think if you just say, hey, I got sent a gift card-- Did you send it? Is that from you guys? Yeah. But make it-- don't let her just say yes, because you could also go. But it said it was from like Danny J. But then what you can do is-- If she says yes, a week later you go, just so you know, that was actually from someone else, Danny J. So it's not-- Exactly right. Yeah. Then you like this. That's a great idea. Sorry about that was Danny J. That's a-- So it wasn't from you guys. I figured it out. He's a finance here. He's a finance here. He's a finance here. He wears the tie-dye shirt. He drinks margaritas on bus tops. He climbs on vines. He's a weird guy. Yeah, she-- She won a weird, you're a hot sweepstakes. She won a weird, you're a hell. That's really funny. That's great. That's great. I'm really sorry. I want a weird sweepstake, but they hadn't announced it yet. Yes. But that's what it's from. So they paid me. You didn't know big deal whenever you're ready. So that will for sure work. Let me just give you another pitch just to throw it out there. I want you to just start writing words around the office and hanging it up like GIF and then T and then CA. And later RD and slowly GIF card. That's what I'm trying to get. If we can gift card things around, if you see like a GIF card promo, you could put up a fake thing, a lost dog offering GIF card. Call this number. So GIF card just starts popping up. Yeah, like 12 monkeys. You're just starting to see it all over. If you're so-- That's the preliminary community. So Mary just goes, fuck, I got to buy those GIF cards. Because it's just not on our bright. God damn, GIF card. Do you think it's-- I'll just say GIF card. Do you think that it is she's forgotten or she just doesn't really care about the following? Forgotten. I know. I think she just doesn't care. Because I think it's why I want one. That's why your pitch is good, Jake. Yeah, interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think because I think that's why-- I mean, well, you tell us what you think. Yeah. That one where you're like a GIF card showed up is such an easy natural in. Yes. Yeah. All right, so Caroline, what you're going to do here, big dog? I'm going to have to be here on Monday and say, strange thing. I got an email with a GIF card link. Is that the one I want here about 10 months ago? Yep. Yes. Yes, adding the time. Love race. And then if she says, ooh, I've got a sweet little out here. Yeah, I think it probably was. We're ready. Oh my god. And then eight days later, you come a call and, hey, mayor, just a quick update. I'm still owed the GIF card from the team building exercise. Great day, by the way. What morale? We all learned a lot about follow through and things of that nature. That GIF card email? That was actually from the podcast. We're here to help. I want a little contest. They just didn't label it properly. Yes. It's from Danny J. He sometimes probably drinks margaritas from that helmet with two cups on the side and straws going into his mouth. When I first got on television on New Girl, we went to the old town Alhaus in Chicago and a couple of people to table. Other tables you could tell recognize me. They were younger, like females, but they didn't want to say anything. And my brother was bored of just, I had come in from LA. We were just seeing each other. He was not got enough attention that he thought we deserved. So he stood up and screamed at the top of lungs. Hey, everybody, I'm Chris Miller. Nick Miller's brother. And I actually went to law school. Come say hello. Oh my god. I just took the characters last night. They're not a weird. I'm Chris Miller. I'm a fictional character. Who's here? He's a brother. Let's go. I'm a lawyer. No, they were 15 people at our table. We're all buying drinks. And I was like, Dev, he's the life of the party. So Caroline, are you going to really do this? Yes. Oh, absolutely. I would do it on Monday. So let's do this. If you can record your side of it, we don't need to hear her. Okay. Yes. I don't record it. Yeah, follow up with us because I think that will work. I do too. I think it's pretty perfect. I'll hit the side of the park. I appreciate it. Well, thank you. Thank you for saying it. It means a lot to us. It does. We do feel like a couple of losers in hotel rooms and closet sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. Well, then I know they're listening to you. Yeah. Okay. Well, listen together.
That's what I've just shown works. We're all losing. - Losers trying to dig out of problems. (laughing) - It's a world football loser's got damage. - Who is better POV than a couple of old losers? (laughing) - We've been losing open, so long. - So long. - That's the whole premise. We've been losing for so long and you're still in your 20s. - Yeah. - Let us tell you how to lose. - Our law firm, Tag, is "Haping Losers Lose Less." (laughing) - Well, anyway, if I saw that on a billboard, yes. If I saw that on a billboard driving, I would call them. - Helping losers, losers. Yeah, two losers helping losers. - And we would definitely have one of those numbers that's just the one digit seven times. - Seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven, seven. - By the way, all jokes aside, I would spend real money for that right now. If my phone number could be one, three, two, three, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight. I would be in love it. - Thank you so much for the call. Thank you. - Let us know. Record it. - Thank you. (upbeat music) - Sweet Jesse here. This next call is a follow up from episode 255, Monitor Swap with David Grunholz. (upbeat music) - Hello. - Hello. - Hi, how are you? - How are you guys doing? - Good, how are you? - Good, thanks. - Great. - A follow up. - Yeah, so my name is Kyle. I'm from Massachusetts, I called in a couple of weeks ago because my coworker's monitor - Right. - That works for me. - And I wanted to kill. - We got a lot of backlash on this one, but. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, really? - A lot of people were so mad that you as a gentleman were so threatened by a woman having a bigger screen that we had to gas later. - Come on, it's complaining. - And they were so disappointed in Garrett then I. - Always. - Now. - Yes, Kyle. - I just saw you know. - I thought that was interesting to tell you. - There was a, I believe Kyle made a TikTok about this. Did you see it? - That's a great one. - So first of all, reset up the problem before we see anything. For anybody who hasn't watched the original Kyle takeover, what was the problem and what did we suggest? And what'd you do? - Yeah, so my coworker Emily was pretty new and she worked right across from me and we all have these company monitors from, well, the company. And hers was a lot newer than mine and I really wanted that new one. - So, monitor-tovading. - Yeah, so I think David Cromholz was on. - Yeah, he was great. - He was great. - He was hilarious. And I mean, at one point, he like role played with being like dad and calling the company, like saying I needed a new monitor. - Oh, that's right. - That was also, you recommended filling. I think it was either chili or jelly on the monitor to get it. - That's a great idea. - Just like a big, big, big break up. - That was a joke about, it's not that bad. - It was a joke. - Every year in fact, wow. - Don't do chili or jelly on it. - It's like we're kind of the commenters after we hear our own ship back a little. We're like, these guys are idiots. (laughing) - These guys are not doctors. All right, Kyle, so, so many it. Probably me said chili on it. I was hoping it was garrath, but it feels like it was me. - I'm pretty sure it was you. - Sadly, sorry, but it was chili. If it was chili, it would have been you. - Yeah, if it's part of it, you know me. I go, you go cheese, I go chili. And I go ham sandwich. - Cheese and chili. All right, keep going Kyle. - The way Samper do nicknames. - I admire nicknames. - It's all thanks. - All right, so Kyle, keep going. - Yeah, so, we originally were on the path of let's break the monitor, bring it to the tech center and like tell it's broken. - Right. - Or then we went along like if the cable or connection wasn't working, like it wasn't that's fairly broken, but you couldn't get it to work. But Natalie brought up the point that they just give me a new cable and call it a day. - That's right. - We ended up doing the asshole game where we pretended for the podcast that there was the game called asshole and the challenge for me was to feel her monitor or swap it rather with I am and see if she actually noticed. - So make a game out of your monitor, Seth. - Right, so if you get caught, it's based off this TikTok trend. - Yeah, yep. - Invisible scapegoat. - Yeah, Kyle, you made the TikTok. - I did, yes, I made it and I didn't share it with her but I shared it with my other coworkers because they were looking at me when I was filming this and they were like, what are you doing? - That's a wild decision to share with the coworkers. - I would say I wish you would have brought that by us. - Yeah, that would have been, that would have been, - Yeah, we said don't share it with them. - Yeah, it jakes the chili spill guy and he thinks that was an issue just so you know Kyle. - So, you're teasing me with two hands of Parmesan cheese. - Yeah, we're trying. - It's dude, I got the most chili. - You got chili, I got cheese with both like buddy. - That guy's stupid. - I'm buttoned up. - We both have a shirt that says I'm with stupid with an arrow to the other guy. So Kyle, can we watch the TikTok now? - Yeah, yeah. - All right, so let's go through this. Well, probably I'll be able to hear some stuff. It starts with you talking to camera. So let's all narrate anything that needs to be narrated. - Perf, everyone, my name is Kyle and today I'm going to be participating in the We're Here to Help As Whole Challenge. I am going to be swapping my co-workers monitor for my own. - So now I am taking my old monitor and putting it on Emily's desk and taking Emily's monitor and putting it on my desk. I am now plugging both of them in and this is all sped up to save time. Now I am miring my handy work by showing you the end results. - It's so simple. - You have to see how it goes. - They're the exact same, look at this. - So, Kyle, I gotta say, I think this is effective. I know it's bad, but in terms of what the premise of the show is, I feel like this is a fix, but you tell us what happened. - Yeah, so it did work. So we can go ahead and ring the bell. - I gotta get it, that's a ring. Yeah, you just ring the bell. - Another satisfied customer. And also don't forget to the people listening. - That's the point of this. - Yeah. - Yes, yes, yes for all the naysayers. The bell just got run, okay? - So you can be on that. - Yeah. - But these two guys just solved Kyle's problem. - Well, you guys are commenting, we're down in the trenches, pitching chillies. - Oh, because of the new Hulu deal now, everything's chill. - The whole show's different because Hulu released it for a year. - The idea that the Hulu, this is a post Hulu deal and we'd recommended that he's still his co-workers monitor and the playmen of the show is a very good challenge. - Every good challenge. - All right, so Kyle, what happened? - Yeah, so I made the switch and then I ended up having the travel for work. So I wasn't in the office for about a week and a half. And in that time period, I didn't hear (beep) bring up anything in the remote the vicinity of a monitor or swapping or any of that. And then I came back and it was still there. And then about a couple days ago, they started doing a company wide thing where they switched all the monitors to newer ones. - You gotta be kidding. - I wish I was making it up. I like to think I was a pioneer, but I guess it was already in the work and I just-- - All right, Kyle, here's what you gotta do. First thing you do, take the TikTok down. - Yeah, okay. - Delete it, burn it. - Never happened. - It never happened, because guess what? We won, but then there was like an earthquake. - But I'm gonna say something, Jake. I think we caused that earthquake. - You really doing your hard hearts? - No, I just wanna keep ringing the bell. - Ring it then, baby. (laughing) (laughing) - We say a big company. - So Kyle, basically what happened is everybody got a new screen. - Yeah, yeah. - But you got one first. - Yeah. - But I got one first. - Yep. - We solved it for that week. Even though you weren't there, you had a nice monitor. - I gotta say, to me this feels, and look, this is kinda the whole show, guys. It's a small little problem that in the end got fixed by the company anyhow, but beforehand, Kyle, you won. You made a little TikTok video that would have protected you and you switched the monitor, but enough about what we think. How do you feel about this call if you were on Yelp doing a review? How would you review this? - I'd say I'd give it four and a half stars. I mean, it was, I was a satisfied customer and I didn't have. - Go ahead, follow the good, sorry, Kyle, Jake's gonna jump in here. - Nearly perfect. - Yeah, I know. - Walk us through how everything worked out perfect, but we're having a star. - If Kyle had a fiber. (laughing) - So it's all out of love, but, why would we be punished? - Well, the hardest part was we decided to do this in the middle of the work day. So there was something when it was like prime busy hour. - Hey, Kyle, hey, Kyle. - Yeah. - Did we pitch do it during the work day? It was, you said the right now. - I gotta be right now. - Oh, we did, okay. - You said as soon as you get off the call, we'll do it. - Yeah.
she sounds like me. Yeah, that is chilly Johnson written all over. That's got chilly sauce all over. I got excited. Yeah, you know, what 4.5 mix a lot. Yeah, absolutely right. Do it right then. Thank you for defending yourself. Okay. Well, great. Look, it's a win. We're all happy. How are you happy? I am. I had a leave or not. A lot of fun going through that. So little nerve-wracking at first. By getting over that. I think I'm in a new space. Maybe maybe not for the better or worse, but just a new space in general. Okay. Makes sense, man. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's nothing to do. Yeah. There's no better or worse. Just different days. So can everybody, uh, whoever wants to participate, can you comment on whatever you watch? If it's YouTube, if it's Spotify, if it's Apple Music, I don't know. And just out of five on this one without any context, just rate what you think. Kyle gave us a 4.5. Yeah, but just and without you don't have to say anything, just 4.7 or 4.2 or 5. And then we'll just kind of get a sense of if, because Gareth, what would be your rating out of 5? Considering what Kyle said to, uh, honestly, as an outsider, a five, the problem got solved. I felt no nerves. The company got new monitors. I'm willing to take credit for that. Yeah. And granted he was a little nervous, but there I say there was some growth. And you know, growth happens outside the comfort zone. And that's what we get to Kyle on that day. Plus we got to see Kyle, handsome guy. Things are good. I would give it a 4.65. Okay. Why are you, why are you shaving us? Um, because of the same reason, Kyle did we said go right away. And I think that was, that was not what we could have said was do it at a time. Sneaking in the night, make it look like a paper, water gators, get arrested. Just pay attention to when no one's watching and do it fast. I mean, I don't know. Okay. I get it. Five from me, but that's great. Look, the point is, Kyle, it's solved. You're happy. You met two of your heroes. That I think you just said that. I don't think he said that. That's a new end. They wouldn't find it. They were thinking for the call, you're welcome. You're reading two of your heroes and they go, who's here? Kyle. Is he again? The, get the Jake. Kyle in closing. You got anything you want to say about this one? Wrapping it up. Did you learn anything? Is there anything we could take from this? What do you think about the people who said it was really rude as a guy to do this to a woman? Any thoughts? I, I like to think that I'm above the whole gender thing. If it was a guy, I would have done the same thing. A monitor in my opinion. So, you know, I can separate the person from it. As well as we would have, if this was a, of female college, we were what anybody calling, any gender calling, we would say, I don't care what your gender is. I would say spill chili on it. I would say no matter what your gender, the same agenda. Yeah. That was the worst ending possible. All right, Kyle. You're welcome, buddy. You met two legends. You just follow up. You're here. Heroes. Thank you, Kyle. You've been two years. Take care, pal. Yeah. Thank you guys. Have a good rest of your day. You too. Thanks for the follow up. Bye. We're here to help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Garrett Reynolds. If you'd like to be on the show, please email us your question at helpful
[email protected]. And if you want to watch video episodes of We're here to help you can go to our patreon at patreon.com/here to help pod to see our entire catalogue. We're here to help is produced by rabbit grim productions executive producers Rob Hollis, Jeff Porter and Natalie Hollis associate producer Jesse Thurston editing mix and master by Chris Foller. Themesong by Oliver Raleigh the cover artwork is by James Fostike animations by Andrew Stralecki. And if you'd like to see Garrett, do stand up on the road go to garrathrenalds.com. Remember all of the advice given on where you're here to help is for entertainment purposes only and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a hate gum podcast.
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