Per Your Request - I LUV AJ pt 2! Amanda is Back with HILARIOUS Dating Stories and Lesson

The following podcast is a DR Media Production. My darlings, this is the episode you asked for. It's Amanda Hurt tube. This is such a goddamn funny episode because Amanda is the best. She's so funny and I'm so happy that you get to experience how incredibly funny she is. There's also beautiful life lessons and advice that she gives around dating, which I've repeated to everyone that I've hung out with in the last two weeks since we've recorded this episode. There's also a lot of explicit sexual talk and you guys haven't really heard this type of stuff from me yet. So it just might give you a little warning. I also, you know, not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom, talk about sex and stuff. But if there is a young person in the car, this is not appropriate. Let me guys, please enjoy. Guys, Amanda is here. Hey guys. I am really excited for this. These are stories I don't know. I feel like I know. No, these are stories I don't know. I feel like I knew about the Italian guy he went on a date with, but I don't know any of the details. Yeah, I came, I came prepared today with some, some, some good tales, some bangers. I got some, I got some really nice DMs from people after our first one. Did you? Yeah, people being like, I didn't know you were funny and I want to hear more crazy stories. And then you were like, come back and I was like, okay, I feel bad for anybody that doesn't know that you're funny because you're the fucking funny. Oh, my God. It's so sweet. I get pumped before you come to something because I'll be like, oh, man, there's coming. Yes. Like we're going to laugh so hard. And you're like, what have you got for me today? That's what happened. I remember that when we rented you an SBB. And you like walked by and we're like, oh, my God. And nobody was like, okay, tell us the start. Tell us the story. You know, I was like, I just want to eat in Malibu, it was psychotic. Yeah, there's always something. I feel like when, like, especially since I've been single, it's like every time I leave the house, I just like, don't know what's going to happen. And I like start to feel psycho things happening. And I'm just like, this is going to be funny. So let's just, let's just like push it as far as I can push it without it being problematic. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I feel like that's a good way to describe this. It's like, it's pushed as far as I can go without it being like scarier. Yeah, yeah, I'm not putting, I don't want to put myself in like harm's way. But I'm like, this is going to be a really good story to tell my friends. So like, let's keep it, let's keep it moving. And you have all these in the notes section of your phone? Yeah, I've just like so many bizarre ones have happened since I've been single. And I just started writing them down and started recording voice notes. I remember the details because I was like, I don't know if I don't know what like format I want to put these in. But I think that, but I mean, everyone's like, I have the best stories, you know, like everyone thinks that. So I've just was like, I'm going to put them in a phone for a rainy day and like figure out, you know, where they can go. Should we write sex in the city 2.0? Yeah, or we should do a sex in the city 2.0 podcast. Oh my god. You know, because there's, I mean, that's a really good idea. And I feel like with so many of my dating adventures, like, I mean, I feel like I had like three different kind of eras of dating since I've been single. Where it's just like, what are the eras? Just like full, like full slut hoe era. Where it just was like, I didn't care. I wasn't like looking for a partner. Yeah. And then the second was the like exploratory, like get to know myself, start speaking up for myself, era. And now this is the no bullshit era. So yeah. I guess I'll kick it off of the story from my, from my slut era. Okay, so this one is so, this one's so iconic. I kind of wish Davide was here because I think he'd really like this one. So speaking of dating, I've been a man to God here. Davide based on me. And I was like, I said to Davide front of her. I took screenshots of every text. She's telling me earlier and I put in the 2B divorce file. I was like, damn, that's so good. I had never thought of that before it just came out. No, I mean, it's like, that's what HR would tell you in a work setting. So why not do it in a real? I'm starting to think that's it. I'm fucking reporting this to HR. Yeah. HR's coming for you. You're getting rid of. You're so bad. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. So this, we're going to call the story the Italian. Okay. What did you mean? So I, I literally got divorced on like a Sunday or like rather, rather like, my husband left on like a Sunday on a third, the Thursday after. No. I went to this Italian restaurant with my friend Katie. Just still like catch up and she's like, dude, are you okay? Can you say the rest of it? I'm so bad. I forget the name. It's in Santa Monica. Okay. It's on Montana. Is it good? Yes. I know what you're talking about. It has like a little bit of outdoor area. Yes. It's delicious. And I, after you hear the story, you'll know I can ever go back. But yes. We go to this dinner during COVID. So all the waiters are wearing masks. She's just like, we're catching up. And our waiter comes over and I, I mean, I can tell by his eyes, he's like very cute. Yeah. And he starts like giving me free drinks. He's like, keeps bringing me like free app raw spritzes. I didn't even order them. I was like, are these for another table? And he's like, no, no, that for you. That for you. Like, okay. Dinner goes on. Her and I are just catching up about the divorce, checking in if I'm all good. Whenever I leave, she's waiting for her Uber. And she fucking facetimes me and she's like holy shit Amanda. The waiter came over and was like, there's, there's no way in how your friend is single. But I just want to like check and see. Oh. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. No, that's so. And I was like, oh my god. Like I've just been like, you know, I'm like a feral creature of society at this point. Like a feral single person. And then I was like, that's so nice. Like, oh my god, so flattering. So she's like, I got his number for you. So I texted him. And I was like, hey, it's Amanda. And he wrote me back. And he's like, hey, it's the miracle. And he's like, I just thought you were so beautiful. I'd love to take you out. And I was like, you know what? Why the fuck not? Sure. It's Thursday. Friday morning. He calls me. Yeah, they love a call. They love a call. Calls me. And we start chatting. And it's nine in the morning. I haven't even like started my day yet. And I'm like, what's up? We start talking. And he's like, I'm like, what's up? He's like, I jumped about you last night. I'm like, oh, wow. Okay. He jumped about me. We start talking. He's being very flirty. And then he goes, do you have a computer by you? I was like, like my laptop, like, yeah. And he's like, open up your computer. He's like, I'm going to start saying stuff and put it in Google Translate. So then he starts having Italian phone sex with me. At like nine in the morning, I haven't even seen this man's face. Like he has had, how you had a mask on? So he starts like having Italian phone sex that I'm Google translating. I'm dying. Are you laughing? Or are you like trying to get into this? No, I'm definitely not getting into this. This is like the scariest thing ever. But also like so funny. Half the shitty thing is like so textbook too. Yeah. It was like, I was like, this is crazy. So anyways, he's like, I want to take you out. He's like, do you want to go out tomorrow? He's like, my shift is at night. So let's grab a lunch in my head. I'm like, are this guy definitely wants to bug? Yeah. But it's just lunch. It's just lunch. It's daytime. He's like South Beverly girls. Like perfect Beverly Hills daytime. I love great success. Great. I was like, I want to see you best restaurant. And so it's like, like, how bad can it be? Also too. I was like, clearly this guy is like DTF. So I'm like, if it goes well, then, you know, I can rip the bandaid off. Yeah. Get to lunch. Shows up. He's very, very cute. Okay. Great. I'm like wearing thanks outfit. Yeah. Like Chris White shirt. Like the denim jeans. It's a little. They're a little love Islandy. But it's okay. Yeah. Whatever. Too much cologne. But like, he's he's super attractive. So I'm like, I'm a little nervous. Like, this is my first first fucking day. Yeah. This is insane. And it's daytime, which is daytime. Sun is out. Children are amongst the restaurant. He's already tried to have phones. Yeah. I already tried to have phones. So we sit down. They hand us menus. He whips his phone out and goes, I want to show you something. And he starts showing me. A video. No, he doesn't. Of him. Master. No, he does. To my Instagram. Yeah. And I. To your Instagram. To my Instagram. And I. How do you find your Instagram? He just. I don't know. I think I told him. I told him like, I'm a joy designer. He's like, what's your company name? He figured it. It's like, you couldn't buy me three seconds. Oh. So I immediately just like put my hand on top of his. And I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And I flip his phone over. And I was like, no, no, we're not. This is not how we're kicking it off. Okay. You said that. Yeah. So it was not how we're kicking it off. Okay. We're having. Having lunch right now. Like grabbing lunch, sir. He's like, I'm so sorry. I'm not saying it is worse than an unsolicited fucking D. I don't want to see an unsolicited fucking giant roast D on a screen. If I'm down, if I ask you for it, cue, I still don't even want to see it. I'm doing it to make you feel good. I never. I never. A video of somebody like stroking their penis is fucking unattractive. Do you know what the cardinal sin is too? And so when sends it prior to you having seen it, I like, bro, I haven't even seen it. Like in the flesh, like, I don't want to see it. So this is how it kicks it off. And I'm like, absolutely not. Sir. Then the way it just comes over. You know, South Beverly girl best service ever, which comes over. Can you get me to drink? I'm like, obviously, I need some wine. I'm like, I'll have a glass of some. And before like Sansa leaves my lips, no, he titty twists me. And we're talking full twist, full twist. He pinches on to it and starts twisting it. Okay. Well, now he's molesting you. Oh, yeah. So I. That's so inappropriate shop him. Finish ordering my fucking wine with a side of ice cubes. And I'm like, dude. I was like, can you show? I was like, seriously? Can you show? And he's like, you're so beautiful like doing this shit. And I'm like, oh my god. So at this point, I'm like, all right, it's lunch. How bad can lunch get? You know, I mean, those are the two you got molested and accosted with a dick. Those are pretty started. I don't know where I can go from there. It gets way worse. And so at this point, I'm like, all right, I'm going to have a couple drinks. I'm already here. I was really, really, really jones and for that coconut shrimp roll. So I was like, I definitely want to stay. So anyways, he said we start chatting. He starts telling me about how he defrauded a 40-year-old woman in Riverside to get his green card. So I'm like, oh, oh my god. Are you? Nope. He starts like fully incriminating himself within the first 10 minutes, just being so psycho. So psycho. And I'm just sitting there and I'm like, this is like, this is great. This is so bad. Throughout the whole date, he tries to kiss me. I keep like judo shopping. And like, dude, go back. I felt like I was in like, like a jujitsu class. Like I just was like kicking and pushing at one point and a half way across the table. And I was like, if you can't behave, I'm going to, I'm going to go. By the way, half the people listening to this are like, you should have called the police. For sure. And the reason I didn't sounds bad. I knew he was like slightly harmless. I knew things were going to like escalate around a restaurant, like whatever. And like, I really did want that coconut shrimp roll so bad. So I was like, I'm just going to stay for the roll and I'm a bounce. It wasn't even a full meal, by the way. It was like a snack. Oh, the best part to the waiter comes over and he's like, do you want to eat? And the guy, the woman, he, oh, he's like, I'm not very hungry. So I'll get the 12 ounce full. And then just bodies of 12 ounce full. I like casually on the date. I was like, this is so scary. Anyways, the day ends, the coconut shrimp roll goes down the hatch. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to go. This has been enlightening. I learned about green card fraudulence. I learned that I'm very good at karate. And I got to go. And he goes, well, my shift, my shift's not till six. Is there any way you'd want to come to my apartment and maybe sit on my face before? No, he didn't. And I go, oh, you know what? I don't, no, I don't think I do. And he's like, oh, really? And I'm like, yeah, I don't, you know what? I don't think I do. Is this works all the time, which is why he's willing to be so aggressive. I mean, he thinks this is all very normal because it's clearly, it's working with other people. It was so, so psycho. And I got my car called my mom, obviously, because I call her after everything. She's like, how was it? Was it lovely? And I'm like, no, I got like lightly sexually assaulted. It was like totally fucking insane. Not that it matters, but was as deep big. I don't, oh, you know what? I just, I don't even think I clocked the size. Because I just quickly clocked what was happening. Yeah. And physically put his phone over. Because I was like, I don't want to go here. Um, he's so great. Because he has like a lot of like big dick energy and like a gross life. But also like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's actually, it's like BDE energy. But like, you don't have a big, big day. Yeah. It was so gross. So I leave the day he texts me and says, this is most iconic text ever. I have a screenshot it. He said, your beauty and innocence makes my cock rock hard. That's what he decided text me after that. It like whole thing. What? I was like, he's projecting innocence on to you. Innocence. I was like, what? He's projecting. It was kind of flattered by that. I was like, oh my god, that was like, that's like, that's cool. That I'm projecting innocence. It was really bad. So honestly, after that, I was like, I think I'm going to like, take a pause on like jumping. I'm like, you're like, I can't go back to the restaurant. No, I can't. Like, I know he still works there. No way he still works there. How do you know? He does. I actually drove by Montana recently and they saw him outside and was like, skirt, skirt. Oh, absolutely not. Honestly, RIP because I loved that, loved that joint. But yeah, after that, I was like, you know what, I'm going to just be like a lot more discerning on the initial incoming inquiries. It was a bit of like scarcity mindset in the beginning where I just didn't, I just was like, I don't know how many people are going to ask me out. Oh my god. And I'm just like going to say yes to stuff. After my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I was just like, line him up. Line him up, shoot him down. Like, I was just like ready to like hop in. It's part of the process. Yeah. It's the worst part about it is then shit like this happens and you're like, what do I do that? But then you don't want to be too care. It's like you got to rip the bandit off, but this was rapy. This was deaf rapy. So I, I mean, I was like, okay, I had good instincts that I did lunch and daytime shit. Yeah. But then my like, my rule after that was like, no one's coming to my house till at least like date. Three. Yeah, fair. Like so no one knows where I live and just like keep a neutral and also just do one or two drinks. I think dog care all over your fucking pants. I'm so sorry. Yeah, just like keep it to like one or two drinks. Yeah. Yeah. Keep it easy. So. Oh, yeah. I mean, I've had some like like since like once that happened. I bet he still follows you. We should look around. Oh, no, Keith. Are you kidding me? Dams me all the time. What does show me his face? Oh, my God. I need to. I think I like, I think I blocked him. He's crazy. I just want to see what he looks like. I mean, he's like really cute. Oh, no. Yeah. Give him a bad rap to all the Italians out here. No, he was crazy. He's crazy. He's crazy. That's a busy mama. I know how hard it can be to find the time or motivation to work out, especially in the summer. You know that is why I love oh, they fitness. You haven't heard the hype. Obey is a one stop fitness platform. You can stream on any screen. I've also done a fabulous founder interview with them on this podcast. To explain why they're so amazing. They offer daily life classes or then eight thousand of on demand workouts and easy to follow. Training programs like you results without the guesswork. You can try out 20 different class types with everything from scope to dance strength. Yoga Pilates and more with no equipment necessary. So there's really no excuse. The whole vibe is so uplifting and the obey instructors really get you motivated. 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But it ended up just being a lot of like people like kind of earning inquiries is a good name for the sex in the city 2.0 podcast. Yeah, just like my just my mantra since I've been single is incoming inquiries only. Great. Because when you start lifting a finger too much, it starts to shift the power dynamic a bit. I know it sounds a bit silly, but I think that men like to feel masculine. And I think that you should let them pursue you and you should let them ask you out and let them put in the work. We talk about this a lot internally to have a day and I because he dated obviously half of New York City when he lived there and. It's so funny because I get in trouble for being in the same room as somebody that I've hooked up with he gets on map and I'm like if we were in. The lower Manhattan midtown uptown or Williamsburg came over it's game over. Yeah. He was roommate. He and his roommate accident not accidentally they fucked the same girl like she knew. And I know who this girl is to because she used to go with my ex boyfriend and she's like beautiful and not she's just like a cool like kind of like bad ass like babe chick but. Saturday woke up on morning and she was in the living room and he was like and then his roommate came downstairs and he was like hey this is so and so and I was like and she left and he was like oh you vector too and he's like yeah. Oh my god. I know anyway the point being that he dated a lot of people and he would always try to be super chivalrous and women would not let him they were trying to be. Which I am super guilty of and I would be like so you're doing it right I would be like let me pay and like I'll and like let me make a reservation and let me open the door and like I'm going to ask this guy out or whatever I'm and I would do it to don't even we were dating and he would get it was our biggest fights at the beginning is he was like I just don't know what my role is here because I really want to like take you out and I want to show you places and like I want to pay for things and like I have nothing else to like offer you other than being like a show or. Like a show or a man that is like showing you respect through these actions and like you won't let me. Yeah well I mean it's it's obviously easier said than done like I mean I'm a Virgo I'm entrepreneur like I'm just used to doing everything myself and I that that's how I roll but it takes so much will power for me not to do it like whether it's like picking where the first date is making that reservation like when you guys decide on what you're ordering letting them put the order in with the waiter like just little things like that I think I think they go of longer way than you think they absolutely do and so if you are in a cis gendered relationship like I don't want to undermine the many years that women have fought for equality and like how it makes a woman feel equal to a man to do those things but like sometimes I think that there is like a simplicity to like a man who is a identifies as a man who is raised as a man and wants to continue that role to act out that part a little bit. There's this phrase used in like dating culture called the dog called like like amongst like dating psychiatrist and stuff called or like relationship experts called the dumb fox where it's you are perceived at like you play dumb but you're fox so you're cutting it smart so it's you know being like I don't know like you pick the restaurant or like I don't know you order for us did it out where you're like you know exactly what you're doing you're smart but you're kind of just you're leaving space for them to feel feel like a man especially in the beginning I do think it's I think it's important and I think that setting that precedent like I feel like you end up getting like treated better. I know it sounds fucked up but I think it's all about how someone treats you and how much so and respects you and I think just giving them that space is helpful. He used to before he moved here this sounds so crazy I know even though I had like a full car he would rent a car because he wanted to drive me around. Oh my god. And then he started making reservations or then what I started doing is I would I would make reservations but I'd make them under his name so when we got there he'd say hi I'm doubting Berncini and like then he could lead because what used to happen is it would be under my name and they'd call him Mr. Robio oh my god. And it still happens because my legal name hasn't been changed yet so when I make a reservation like on the amx. My like absolute crypto night like makes me weak in the fucking news what if a guy sends a screenshot of a reservation. Like when they send that screenshot like the rezzi screenshot of your like seven o'clock dinner as I'm like. Like oh my god like it just get like that gets me and like that's what I thought about that so funny that makes me so happy. He has a full standoff probably once a week at this point with a woman he's opening the door for and they'll say no you go ahead. And they'll say no you go ahead and she'll say no and then he'll go mad and please and then I'll have to interject and say he's not going to walk in front of you. You have to let him keep the door. You're like just go just go man stand up once a week. Oh that's sweet there was this one girl that I that. Is this like a long deep story but he I saw photo on Instagram of Nobody in this other girl and I was tripping and it was when we like weren't technically together. And I thought he hooked up with her and I was like did you see with that girl now that it mattered because we were both sleeping with other people but I was like did you see with that girl he's like no and he's like I tried. But we went on a date and she tried to tell me about Italian wines and she like for restaurant and she tried to do all and she was like and he's like and I just sat there while she talked about herself and like ran the whole date about like her. And how it's important for you know her career and what she's doing and I know let me pay and like she ordered and he was like I left there and I was like you don't need me here. There's no purpose for me here and I was like it made me understand him it was like when we got back together and I was like oh I need to shift a little bit. Yeah. Now a word from our sponsor better help listen I get very focused on problems instead of coming up with solutions and when I get stuck in that motion I find that it's almost like I manifest more problems. 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It sparked because I want on a date with this guy I knew he was stupid stupid rich I knew that from before like I piece it together I know what company he worked for a Google him I piece it together okay I know you're stupid I never been on a date with a rich person oh my god is it insane i've been i've actually been on dates with like i've been on a date with a billy with the bee and then i've been on two dates with half bellies. And half bellies and I have to say it's just it just isn't about it isn't about money yeah obviously that stuff's nice new on nice dates but it's it's just like it's all about vibe yeah like straight up I could never be a gold digger i don't know i've never. I've never cut out for it i've never even been on a date with a man that like i've never dated anybody that had a lot of money i've like like quite the opposite in fact actually very much the opposite starting with my first boyfriend when i was 18 who like would borrow money for me and like ran his weed service out of my apartment oh my god he lived in a. She at whole in fucking bushwick in 2005 think about bushwick in 2005 that's scary per like it would like it's what it was a it was a it was just. I so i the idea of that like i can't even i don't it makes me uncomfortable i mean i think truly the moral of the story and something i've learned from. You're out in the streets is like money money isn't everything at all no it's nice it's a nice bonus but like you got to get the other ship first the connection the respect and the like you know you got to get the energy right first and then if they have money great if not you can still figure it out. I can't like girls who and how many girls did you go up with that was like that's their amount like we grew up in LA there are women who were trained to only date for sure but if you want to be miserable then go for it when we miserable with like. First class ticket to Europe this summer please go for it but i would rather not and we're. Independent beautiful women that can fire on tickets you know but yeah i was going to say like in terms of being mysterious like yeah i went on a date with this guy i obviously knew i i get it dude he tried so hard to tell me about his wealth he started. Yes he was like dropping numbers no yes he was like tell me about his real estate net worth tell me what his real estate net it was so gross i was like sir sir i don't need to know this information like call your CPA like i don't need to know this and i just kept thinking i was like wow if he would have kept his mouth fucking shut. And just let my creepy ass google him and like froth over him he would have been so much cooler you know much cooler and so i like after one on that date i was like it clicked for me where i was like okay i'm going to go on these days people ask what do you do i'm a jewelry center. I don't need call call off if you ask me a question i'll answer it but i don't need to be like i'm in these stores i've been on these celebrities like to shut the fuck up. Oh where'd you go up last angeles. Like you don't need to be like this is the high school i went to this is the college. This is neighborhood i grew up in just shut up people if people are going to stick around for a long while they're going to figure it all out and piece it together and it's so much cooler and more fun to piece together. Beautiful puzzle i like love way better this advice i didn't i didn't used to do this i wish that i was dating again to practice this. But i mean they don't wish that where it comes from is you like you know people like you have to love yourself. Straight up do because you have to be straight up you do because you have to be confident enough to not lead with your big heavy hitter points. That's hard because you know like we all we have our things you know our things were like this is what makes me very special and very unique. But you just have to rest assured that your energy is going to shine through that so it's going to find all that stuff out in due time. There's something you need to give it all away off the junk fire advice but it like phase two Mandy dating in the streets all which is a great site we all get into a good story. I was so bad. I want to like throw up at some of the things i said same like you shut up. I know i was the worst but it's all good okay so this is really good from like 18 until until 28 i was pretty cringe. I have like cringe like wave some of my life from my kicks okay so i download hinge oh my god okay oh my god what else were you on. I did hinge bumble and raya like quickly deleted bumble that's a little crusty dusty yeah hinge is like. Hinge is legit people talk people take you out that's what you're looking for relationships on there. It's nowhere near the pool of men on raya but like no one speaks on raya so yeah so i go on hinge the very first person i match with is this guy he's very handsome lives on the east side he's a real estate developer. And he messages me we start chatting the week change numbers so i give him my number and he text me and he goes. I have a really crazy story for you that warns phone call can i call you. I was like yeah sure so he calls me goes i went to put your number on my phone and like Siri guessed your name. It was like Amanda Thomas question. So he's like been on emails together yeah so he's like okay so i threw your phone number in gmail he goes Amanda i'm the former tenant in your office building. I have been emailing with him for three years because I get his mail like every week. And I've been emailing him like hey got your mail come pick it up. And we never like cross paths because either I wasn't there when he came by recent is assistant or whatever. But I was like oh my god your blah blah blah LLC. He's like that's me and i'm like no way like that crazy that's crazy so it's like that's cute. This is staring at it but it's like let's go on the day so we go on the day oh my god I was so nervous I was like sweating profusely. I was being cringe like acting I don't know it's like not good but he he was like really into me and he's like I'm just really having a really nice time with you. I want to keep hanging and I was like okay this is bad I shouldn't have done this. But I was like yeah let's go back to my house and have a drink so come back to my house have a drink we start like kissing. First day first day and then I do the whole like just saying no I'm not sleeping with you. Like oh my god it's all embarrassing and then he's like that's fine he's like that's fine. And he's like I just want to say though I'm having such a nice time and I really like it's like I really like like holding you and like being with you. So can I say can I stay over he's like I just want to have a sleep over and like just be next to you. I was like you know sure. It's like getting bad like put PJs on we turn the lights off he starts telling me these hilarious stories he's from LA. So telling these high school stories. I'm telling one he's telling one more like laughing it's so great. Then then we go to bed. Okay I've told them no sex. And he starts like rubbing my back. And then like it feels so nice. Such a good rub. Yeah. And then he starts like rubbing like my butt feels so great. Then he like kind of pulls like my pants down a little and just starts like kissing like my back and stuff. And I'm like oh my god this is really meant to this. This is really nice. Really into this human touch. And then what ensued was I don't even know how to describe it. Because it's like not like it wasn't like we went to a base if you will. It wasn't like we went to first base or second base or third base. I don't know that like it was like this. It was like a tantric. What happened? It was like a tantric like it was like a tantric like sleep over snuggle. It was the hottest shit of my life. What did he do? Like he didn't even he didn't even necessarily like like I didn't do anything to him. He technically didn't do anything to me. But it was just a lot of like grabbing, kissing, flicking. It was it was unbelievable. Like it was the cool. I look back on that so fondly. I was like wow. How cool. So then full orgasms on either side. On one mind. Yeah. And then I go to grab to just a discop of feel. Yeah. See what I'm working with. Do you know what an Arizona iced tea can. Oh fuck. It was that big. I'm not I've never I've never in my life. You would have died. So I go oh I'm like oh my once I grabbed that I was like oh do you want to you want to do it? Like let's let's go dude. Like let's go. I retract. I retract my former statement. And he was like no you said no. I'm like wow fucking boss move. Power move. So anyways he like laughed the next day. And he was like by the way I'm going to Europe for a couple months. And I was like oh okay. So he goes to Europe for a couple months. So he like lose touch. So like that was that was seemingly that. And I just was telling all my friends. I was like I just had this like crazy serendipitous thing with this guy. And then we like yeah. Cause in your head you're like this is my boyfriend. No I actually wasn't at all. I in my mind. I was like that was a one time strange cosmic encounter. Yeah. I feel like some people like I feel like I've. And so often and I would do that too. But you're like I'm actually I'm pretty rational. I didn't like overly fantasized. I just was like wow what a while. Yeah you are. I've never experienced and that was so fun. And like serendipitous and he was so great and sweet. And the whole sleepover was bizarre and strange. I've never felt like that and just great. So a couple months months go by months and months. My other girlfriend she gets single. She's showing her the ropes on a hinge helping her get her profile set up. She texts me and she goes oh this guy asked me out. He's sending a car for me. He's taking me to cafe Stella for jazz night. I'm like oh cute. Oscar how the date was and she's like oh he was so weird. He kept telling me I was magnificent. She's like she's like I shut it down. She's like I left in the middle of dinner. I'm like oh wow wow. And then I'm telling her story about someone else. And she's like show me a picture. And I go on to like my hinge to show her a photo of someone else. And I scroll past Arizona iced tea. And she goes oh my god. She goes that's cafe Stella. I'm like that's Arizona iced tea tantric. And she's like that's cafe Stella Jazz night. I'm like that's tantric daddy. And she's like no way. And I'm like oh my god. And I'm like you missed out. I'm like you could have had the night of your life. Oh you missed out. And she's like no. She's like he was so weird. Maybe he was. But I was like we need to start checking in with each other. That's a daddy. Yeah. So it was great. I feel like I've been with like with certain people that it hasn't worked out. I think it's very normal to be like. And why not me or like you know going to. Like victimhood or be angry about it. But certain experiences. I've just been like let's just extract the joy from that. And that was so amazing. Nobody does that. Every question we get for the Q&A is like. What do I do to like get him to call me back or like make him like me. We don't even read all of them because we don't read about 90% of them. Because I'm like we can't keep answering this question and we keep just being like. Do you like him? Like I view dating by the end as these just like I always assumed it was going to be a one and done date. Like going into it that way alleviates all this like weird pressure. And that each night was going to be this like really fun. Like I went on a date with like the Swedish guy who was like so cute who like worked for hostings. Like that like really fancy mattress company. And like I like remember being like I think he even said it in all the day. Like you don't like me as much as I like you or something like I think. And but I I think he said something along those lines and I was like. Oh that's not true. But I was like my head I was like yeah like you're definitely not for me. But like I'm having such a good time. Yeah. You know it was just like all these great like I love texting with him. I learned a lot about myself. There's all these just like little fun experiences. Yeah. But that's like you know what concept I've been thinking a lot about that I think has made me feel better about how long it feels like it's taking to find someone. I think when I got divorced I was a little delusional about timeline. I just thought like oh maybe I'll have a boyfriend in a couple months and then cut to well over a year later. You really thought that I yeah I'm like I'm delusional. No, that's not that's making you delusional. No, I literally thought that. You seem to be very independent and you're the least annoying single person I've ever met in my entire life. And I truly mean that and like not like I was a nightmare single person like I was like. There was so much time that I was like well I was like maybe there will be boys there and I'm going to go here like anyway. I mean how many single people do you hear being like well I'm going to go to this thing because like maybe there will be a boy there chasing you're always talking about boys making it about boys like. You are so joyful and playful about all of it that it's I wouldn't expect that of you because it just seems like you're on this like fun ride and it seems like you're being really good about like enjoying the ride. I am now but I think I felt a bit of like pressure with timeline because I don't have a kid and stuff but one thing that I think about all the time that's helped me is. Think about who like who are your best friends like who are your best girlfriends in your life like how special and rare is that friendship. How many girls do you meet all the time where you're like yeah they're cool yeah I'll text with you like I'll DM you about whatever I'll go to dinner with you. But how many people are your best fucking friend where you feel something special and you can be in the car and not speak and like the moment you wake up you like call them and tell them everything and like. That hard to find all what a cute concept like but it is like when you think about friend like friends we don't put that pressure on ourselves to find best friends like if they come and they feel right they become our friend and so. I've just been thinking about that a lot with dating where I'm like I need to stop being so obsessed with fine quote unquote finding someone where I'm like let's just go out and be social. In romantic context and then something does feel really special and like easy and fucking fun then they can go be your BFF. This is the second main truth bomb that you have exploded into the five. Yeah so like going back to what you were saying I think we were kind of touching on like rejection. I think that that is that's a hard one that's one that I still still struggle with but like I mentioned before I always just try to look like okay let's just extract like what was a good shit that came on that like A what did I learn and be what fun did I have. Clear stem has made a clean clinical skin care line that is equally effective against acne and aging. Acne products can dry up and damage the skin causing premature aging but anti aging products keep breaking everybody out because of the fillers that use if you haven't listened to my podcast with the ladies of clear stem. I am begging you to do so because all of this information is in that episode and it's life changing. The founders of clear stem are both in their thirties and they are extremely acne prone so they made a non toxic line that targets acne and wrinkles simultaneously. One of the founders is a practitioner and published nutritionist and the CEO owned San Diego acne clinic and is literally known as the acne guru so they know what they're talking about the formulas keep winning award after award and the hype is so real. And I am begging you if you have acne prone skin you need to try this line especially if you want the anti aging benefits that won't break you out in the episode which again I am begging you to listen to. I was so shocked to find out about the damage that all these fillers do to our health and our bodies and on top of that I had no clue that so many of my hair products were breaking me out. So it's a really like nice one to punch with the nutrition and the functionality of the products listen I really want you to do yourself a little favor use our discount code it is code best if you want 20% off your first purchase at clear stem skin care dot com that's code best for 20% off you will think me. Hey friends my name is Olivia Perez and I'm an entrepreneur journalist and the host of the friend of a friend podcast every Monday I meet with some of today's youngest and brightest entrepreneurs to make spaces how their stories and shine a light on who I believe to be the next generation of luminaries. I'll interview up when commerce and game changers from brand builders personalities activists artists and thought leaders from around the world each episode lets you be a fly on the wall during one of the greatest pep talks like a conversation between you and a friend or a friend of a friend see there. Okay I'll go into another good story because I feel like this is exactly that and I also want to know your opinion on this okay so we're still in phase two Mandy research and development on the dating front. I match with this guy on hinge he is the creative director of a very well known streetwear shoe brand like craze i'm a can't say it because people are going to like Google it and figure out who this person is but like wow to ask this offline I know this yeah like wow wow wow very impressive okay he is. He's on hinge yeah he's full of bangers yeah absolute bangers and he's older he's 48 okay absolute like God spent a little more time on this person than the rest of us like he is he's like a fucking adonis like this guy is absolutely smoking hot I couldn't even believe a smoky show with a good job I was dying so we got a dinner where do you go to dinner we went to chalita and Venice which chalita it's like this little mexican spot it's cute we go to chalita he shows up oh my I like just I just about thought of my chair like even hotter in person with this amazing dinner where we're talking about like what it's what's like to be a designer like how how we deal with like creativity as well as like capitalism in our jobs. And like how we balance the two like have this amazing and depth conversation dinners incredible so great we're like staring into each other's eyes dinner ends and he goes all right we got two choices. I mean they're walk down the street and go to this bar or we can go back to my house and play games and I'm like because you know me you know I love you love games and I was like what kind of games and he's like well you have to see and I was like okay your house. So then we walk over to his vintage like drop top bronco come on right get into his car turning on he's got like. Fucking coolest music playing it was like a record player like you vinyl in your fucking car go to his house the Venice bungalow by the way this guy style is like very very it's very like cool and curated walk into his place it's like a Nancy Myers. Beach bungalow and I go oh my god I go I wasn't expecting it to look like this and he goes well if you had a villain Italy it would look Italian if you have a bungalow in Venice it looks like beach bungalow and I go oh my god I was a few are committed to the aesthetics I was like this is hot. So then he's like okay I got a couple games so first we start playing Oculus like the VR like VR headsets are like chasing dinosaurs playing golf whatever then he's like let's play tick-tock toe I'm like whoa really throwing it back like yeah dude. And then we play tick-tock toe and he's like every time you lose let's he's like let's drink fireball like fun oh my god fun and he's like let's go my backyard you play corn hole. Cornal I'm like this is like the best out of my life he's like making me cocktails were like listening to records like he like. Kissed me I'm like oh my god this is so cute and fun and then I go I was like can I get some water and he's like yeah so he's like hands me a glass we walk in the kitchen he's like there's filtered water at the sink. So I'm like filling my water up and I just kind of see him in my peripheral and he gets on his knees and pulls my skirt up. And just starts going to town and I'm just like am I in a movie am I semi at the Jones like what it like what on earth is happening am I in like a simulation. I just want to dinner with like arguably the hottest person I've ever dated I'm at his like Nancy Myers Beach bungalow we just played motherfucking corn hole. And now you're like going down on me in your kitchen while I'm filling up my cup with like filtered water I'm like oh my god like oh my god this is like filtered water. Not even the Britta and I'm like oh my god this is wow okay then he picks me up like a like a princess when any man picks a human being up any person picks another person up the magic in that I have heard about this and dreamt about it but it has never happened to me. I've truly never been picked up a usually way too many LBs for that this man was very strong so he grabbed me strong gorgeous man yeah and then you know what ensued was I mean we're going to call it like a 12 out of 10 experience and when I say it's it's one of my best performances today like I was I was a shining star. I just want to say that for myself as I get to the end before I get to the end of the story is I I was arguably a star arguably. We wrap that up he goes would you like a Bowery robe or a parachute. And he goes in the kitchen and makes post kwital snack plate which consisted of trail mix and mango slices and then we went to bed. And then the next morning I woke up I'm like getting dressed and he's like oh my god are you shoes the row. I was like they are and he goes she looks so fucking sick in those. So then I leave that one I left Pia and I was like that's my boyfriend. Picture in my life at this bungalow driving a Malibu in the bronco well I asked me did I ever hear from him ever again never never never again. He I never heard from this man again and this was like this one shook me because I was like that was arguably a good day in my eyes it was one of the best I'd ever been on in my life. But I was like those arguably like a vibe there was chemistry. Yeah it was even even like so he's hot he's charming. He's got the space like there could be any girl put in there who wouldn't bring the vibe like you're so fun. I brought the I brought the mother fucking vibe. I mean clearly was into it on multiple levels like to just go for a straight skirt lift a veg to face skirt lift I was like is is like guys are not going to just going to do that if they're like issues whatever. To offering to snacks complement day on the shoe the next day I had many months to really think about this. Do we find out if he got like a girlfriend or something so can I this is my theory my theory is he is a 50 year old fuck boy and he does this every Friday and Saturday. Yeah I think this is a stick I think he takes you to dinner and he does the do you want to play games at my house who is not going to say who's going to be like no. Then I think he's got the bronco then I think he's got the fireball then I think he's got the bungalow then he think he's got the corn hole like then I think he does the brittle water trick like loves saying every Friday and Saturday. Do you want a bowie rope or a pair yes I think he does I think he's like do you want the bowie rope or the parachute waffle. Rob and would you like trail mix and dried fruit in bed like I think he does this and I was like and then I had another theory okay. Okay so this one's a little like a little like an alien cave so it's a little reddit if you know what I mean this is like you're getting like a couple paragraphs down on the reddit page. Okay yes and I he went straight to but he has an identical twin who is who's married with kids and then I was like did I hook up with the twin. Like did they say they freaky Friday or like Lindsey low hand switch and like I hooked up with the twin and like his brother goes and like takes care of the kids or something I don't know I was like it's just. It was so wild to me because I was like you know that's one of those things I left and I was like why didn't he call me like I just want to know but. Once I let like once I let it go I was like this was like November of last year. I was like that was the most fun ever yeah great you had that a good time it was amazing loved I mean I'm going to get multiple robes now I'm going to have trail mix on deck house you know what you also didn't get to experience what could have been the very negative side of him hundred percent. You know what it's such a good point but you know what I don't know I would still take a bad date for the good first you know what I mean I would I would be down for the downfall. But he has to just be a fuck boy he has to and yeah that that like the fact that you haven't done so much recon to find out why this happened. But what but there is no recon do you have an Instagram there's no recon yeah but it's like. June it is so my theory is he was he was dating a couple people and like the other girl that he had been on like two dates before you with. He probably like one on another date with and then that like accidentally turned into a relationship. Yeah and you just accidentally you know what I mean I think there was like a little bit of overlap it's that or he's a fuck boy. I have my gut is telling me he's a fuck boy regardless of what it is I think from for me and I think hopefully for all girls. When you go on a date and they don't call you back. You have to let it go you can't go down this cable of like what if this what if that what if that like I mean I'm joking about the like twin theory and like whatever. Actually being facetious but with that one I was like I have to let it go because look if you go on a date and you feel like you represent yourself authentically and you are on your best behavior. Truly you know if you want like two wasted or didn't say anything come if you feel like those two things are true. Then that is not your person and then you just got to keep it moving it doesn't matter if they didn't like you or doesn't matter if you said something and they didn't like it. If you felt like you acted authentically and they don't like it then. You're not compatible like it's a compatibility thing back to the BFF thing not everyone's going to be your best friend. Like so it doesn't it doesn't matter there's no point in asking them there's no point in wasting time and energy thinking about it you just have to like for yourself what did I like about that and like I really liked every second I really like being picked up like a princess and I liked the robe and I liked forgot to tell you he me like really chic men's. Like DK and why boxer briefs to wear to bed yeah so you looked like so cute I looked so hot I looked myself in the mirror and I was like what would it love me. And then you know you didn't call me but it's okay it was so amazing. We watched dirty dancing the other night and I hadn't seen it since I was like 10 which is why we watched it because I was just was like I barely remember what happened. And there's the moment at the end of the movie where he just picks her up. And I look at the dominant season happening I know that he's watching me see it happen all I do baby what's today is be like click and I run to him and jump and get me and he's always like oh God you have to warm my back my girl. It's really hard and it's like become this joke and so he sees me noticing the ease it which like any picks her up he picks baby up with just like two hands. And I looked at it and I'm like teary eyed and he looked at me we make eye contact and I just do this I just lift hands up to like mimic that you picked her up and he does it back to me and he goes no no. Oh my God I mean she's like one pound and he was a piece yeah the best shape of his life so that is so I really like being picked up. Yeah it was nice so yeah you just have to like I might I just got an extract positivity from everything else it's very easy to just go down a negative spiral and also to like sometimes you do sometimes you go on a day or you're dating someone oh my God I got I got dumped by the way like I haven't been I hadn't been like dumped yet and I got dumped. And I was like fuck that is really really shitty and I was definitely like I was pissed and I was like why me why doesn't he like me did I did that and I was like okay I'm going to do that for like I'm going to give myself 72 hours to cry over the proverbial spilled milk. And then 72 just it just kept going days after days after I'm like you just got it like and then I just started like I just started tricking myself by saying saying positive things like oh I feel so grateful to have had the experience I'm so glad I told you what you're doing to yourself that I'm realizing as an adult mother now what so you're gentle parenting yourself. Oh my God I love that for me this is the technique and I was talking about it yesterday. This is so funny I follow this doctor I can't remember her name but I'll put it in the description she's a famous like child psychologist like has a book and it's all about like how it's like all gentle parenting and so what to do when you're kids having a tantrum or whatever. And another I showed it I said whatever I put it on my Instagram and a mom who works at Flamingo estate was like telling Harvey that like oh she's like I watched this video or whatever and then Harvey was saying that it's like an insane tactic to use on adults and I was like I just started seeing this on TikTok we're like dad there's like funny dads are like accidentally gentle parenting each other so like when a kid is having a tantrum you're like like instead of being disruptive and like I'm in a bite or I'm in a hit or like I hate you mommy you have to say like wow like you're having really big feelings. An attack that like miss Rachel does it would be like okay so pick one of these 10 things you're going to do to calm down is it like I need to go outside or I need to take deep breaths or I need to like count down from 10 all things that I would do yeah I needed to calm down and then it's like you got to redirect. So it's like we're just going to shift this we're going to acknowledge the feelings and we're going to say like sometimes in life you can't have a second scoop of ice cream. It doesn't mean that we can hit people doesn't mean that you can say you hate that person it means that we need to use a tactic to immediately calm down so we're bringing our cortisol levels down. Yeah, because of what we need to do that we got to keep those hormones balance yeah and then we got to redirect yeah and it's no time myself. What we have to do is bucking adults and these two dads did it in a really funny man TikTok we're like when I was like dude I went to the mechanic today and I like got the car back and they like forgot to fucking fix it. So I went back in there and I was like you know I'm tired of being taken advantage of and the one dad was like sounded like you had some pretty big feelings about about your mechanic. I know this is what girls need to do for their friends and this is like how we have to navigate you have to gentle parent yourself through the day. I just like I just try to trick myself into feeling good until I feel good that's you have to make it until you believe it. That's what I do in life with everything. It's a very very helpful shocking how much I've had to do it. But it it works. It works because rejection really hurt it hurts but you just get stings less and less and less. Are we allowed to give an update on what's happening in your life now or just keep it for a yeah I feel like I. I feel like after all the psychosychoticness and you know being my lease actually assaulted at a hillstone establishment to the disrespect for the hillstone. I mean I know yeah after everything I yeah I met someone really nice yeah really nice so still early dies babe but we'll see it's going in the right direction. But yeah just really held out for someone that treated me the way I just are treated and let's go so kind and sweet and just makes me feel like he knows my worth in the way that I feel like. I know it so let's go yeah hell yeah Mandy yeah so just be patient right on the pod well thank you for coming to my house. Thanks for having me. Driving from the Palisades to Pasadena is true friendship and music. And that ladies and gentlemen concludes this week's episode of everything is the best I hope you enjoyed it. Please rate, review, subscribe, all that stuff. Maybe leave a comment but remember shitty comments are for shitty people. Go ahead and follow me on Instagram @piabarangini and I hope you have a fabulous fabulous rest of your day. Love you, Ciao! [BLANK_AUDIO]