Peaches asks about pets

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Checking Allstate First could save you hundreds on car insurance. Not checking that I packed my de-puffer before going on a long trip out of town. I'm dejected. Now I'm three time zones from home with a face like a marshmallow and nothing to fix it. I didn't know I could miss a robot. Yeah, checking first is handsome. So check Allstate First for an auto quote. It could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. HandsomePod. Chatting to friends on the HandsomePod. Cheers. Welcome to the HandsomePod. I'm Fortune Feimster. I'm Tig Notaro. I'm Mae Martin. Yeah. We're together again. We're together as friends. Sometimes more than just friends. But nobody knows that because we haven't revealed it. And people aren't listening to this part right now. Oh, y'all. The hand drop went quickly. Oh, what a song. We've been working on that one for a while. Yeah, I forgot about it, honestly. We were like, remember, let's not forget to sing that song. Let us not. Let us not forget. You know, I've thought. I want to do it again. I had so much fun. I want to. Let's do it. All right. Okay. We're doing it again. Singing this song that we said we weren't going to sing. Let's not give them the whole song. No, just a taste. Go to our website where we wrote a song. We have a handsome band. We need to put out another song. HandsomeBansome.com. Also, Tig had a great idea, which we do need to implement. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And this cannot just be a put it on the list thing. What is it? The Gam Cam. Oh, yeah. Tig suggested that the next time we're in prison, we need to do the episode in shorts. In shorts. So that we can actually do the Gam Cam. Cut to the Gam Cam. And it's just set up at ground level. Or don't even say cut to the Gam Cam. Gam Cam? Yes. And then just when we're telling a story, it just pans down. And you see my five o'clock shot. Oh, I love this. You guys, our podcast. Are you trying to hold hands again? No. What do you need from us? I wanted to. Loaf of bread. I don't know if you guys knew this, but we won some awards. Oh, yeah. Oh, is that what this is? We're changing. We're changing lives. And not clothes. We won two Webby awards. Yes. Wow. Oh, I like this. Oh, whoa. That's cool. We did it because we won it. We won. Oh, yeah. It's a bling. We won the 2026 People's Voice Award winner. Whoa. Oh, wow. No, it says Award Wiener. Wiener. This was for an individual episode, Belonging and Inclusion. So that's that one. What does that one say? Now, wait. My question. I have won a Webby before. I haven't. You have? Yeah, I have. What is. What is the award shade? The spring. It looks like some quantum device. What are we going to do? We only have two awards, and there's three of us. Two against one. I do kind of like it. How are we going to figure this out? You have it, guys. You guys keep them. I was hoping that when I. I want both of them. What do we win that for? Because I want to keep my other Webby. Wait, it's the same one? Yeah, but one is the committee, and one is the people's. vote award. Oh. Okay. Commit. Titty committee? The titty committee voted us, and our big old knockers. Thank you, Webby Awards. This is pretty cool. That's very cool. And also, my Webby gets lonely sometimes, so it'd probably be good. Wait, you're going to get both of them? Yeah. I need to have three Webby Awards. But I have that fun new space behind me now. I know, but you got. It means award. You got something. I did. May gave me the. Picture of the Golden Girls. I think you just got to buy a slinky and glue it to a block of wood. No, you guys. Anyway, what's going on? Well. How are you feeling? I feel good. Yeah? You look great. You look amazing. Thank you. I've been cutting my own hair. I'm not feeling very confident at the moment. I love it. Before you go any further. Yeah. My kids just went back to school. Yeah. Is Alma back to school? Yeah, back to school, yeah. We took them for haircuts. There's a barber near our house. Near our house. And. Of Seville? It's like a $40 barber cut. Yeah. I think I want my son's haircut. Oh. Get it. Yeah. And it's like a very buzzed kind of short, short. Back and sides buzzed. Buzzed. I think go for it. I mean, I like your hair as it is, but if you want. Thank you. You're welcome. I want to keep you happy. I love the way you are. I'm very happy. Well, maybe I can pass around and show you the haircut. Yeah, show us the pic. I'm picturing them going and getting the full treatment where they get like a shave and like a hot towel on their face. Uh-huh. Yeah. Well, this is the look. Yeah. It's just really short. Oh, that is short. Yeah. Very handsome. Do they like it? Handsome, though. They are so into. Feeling themselves. Yes. It looks cool. It's a cool haircut. Yes. Oh, wow. That is short. Yes. I'm thinking I might do it. Wait, you're going to buzz? You're going to buzz like that? I might. Whoa. Yeah. Wait. And that's the natural hair color? Yeah. I might miss your little feathered bangs, though. You might miss my bangs? Your feathered bangs, yeah. I'd miss them. I'd miss those. My hair is turning into a big cotton poof. That's why I start cutting my. Mine's so thick like that. And then I think, oh, I can just. Uh-huh. Yeah. How's my hair, you guys? Always stunning. It's like the award. Okay, wait. So you're happy, you're good, you cut your hair. I'm pretty good. I was saying before we started recording, I don't feel funny at all. Why? But I don't know what that's about. I feel happy, very content. You feel very happy. Very content. But you're not in a silly mood. No, I am. Oh, okay. I just feel like I can't. You're just missing the mark every time. I'm missing the mark. I'm like. You're like, hey, rubber chicken. And everyone's like, nah. That's how I feel. Yeah, when was the last time I said something funny? I don't know. Like a while ago. You should keep a journal. Katie Kudryk. Katie Kudryk was good. You're probably still coming down. I'm coming down. That was massive. I think about it all the time. Yeah, that was a good moment. That was a good one. First of all, I think about Katie Couric all the time. And then for her new name. I hope she knows about it. Yeah, you got to text her. I just get always when I go through customs and they say, what do you do for a living? And I hear myself say, like, because I get nervous going through customs and I go, I'm a comedian. With a really straight face. They're like, sure, okay. They want you to be like, waka waka. Yeah. Now, I don't know if this is in one of my specials or not, because I can never remember. We'll never know. I will never know. And there's no possible way to know. Never. Who cares, right? But when I first moved to Los Angeles, I got a temp job at a commercial production company. And I was recommended for the job by my other job working at Sam Raimi. Sam Raimi's company when I was working there part time or as like as a temp job before they hired me full time. Yeah. So they had heard about this company that needed somebody. So they're like, oh, my gosh, because we all loved each other over at Sam Raimi's company. They were like, we're going to send you Tig. We love her. You'll love her. Whatever. So I show up with that vibe. Yeah. Where I'm like, everyone loves me. I'm here. And the. The woman who ran the company answered the door very down to business. Like FedEx goes out every day at four. This is your desk. But and I was like, oh, right. OK. Yeah. And I was trying to catch up and take note of everything she was saying. And meanwhile, I'd come from Sam and Rob's company where. Silly. It was so we were all still very close. Yeah. OK. So I'm I'm just like, oh, gosh. You know, there was. No welcome loving vibe from this woman. And any time she was on the phone, she wanted me to get up from my desk, come over and stand next to her and write a note of who was calling, who was on hold. And I had to wait there. And it was just it was very much like that. And just beaten down by this woman for three days. And to the point where I didn't follow her rule and I go from my desk, I'd be like, John's on line one. I was like, so over this one. So she she comes over. We're going through these files. And she said, so when you're not temping, what do you do? And I was so excited to turn to her with the life sucked out of me. And I just said. I'm a comedian. I make people laugh. Was she. She was so confused. She. I probably didn't know if you were in series. Yeah, she was so deeply confused. That's really funny. And oh, it was such a joy for me to turn and dump that of like, I am a joyful clown. Yeah, yeah. And I bring everybody joy, except you. When you find someone who's clearly not charmed by you in any way. At all. Immediately, like from the, or like you have an Uber driver or something. There's plenty of them. Yeah, and then they're, and then, yeah, that's really fun. I auditioned once to be a host of a game show. Congrats, fortune. I didn't get it. Okay. We'll have to check in on star meters in a little bit. I went to the room and I'm, you know, I'm pretty bubbly in general. Very. And so usually people are kind of disarmed by the accent and the bubbles. There's like six people that could not have been less interested, charmed. I knew right away, I was like, I'm not getting this job. These people think I am. The biggest stick in the mud, not funny, not qualified. And yeah, they were so not into me. It was, the room was just like record scratch. That was my record. But the irony is somebody else got the job and the, they had me do a few of the episodes. I could not have been more fun, more delightful. One, someone, a car. Oh, you were a guest on it. I was like, I ended up because it was like a pandemic. A panel thing. Yeah. I brought the, I brought life to the party. Yes. Because the episode was. Blasted them with your. Blasted them. You showed them. I showed them. They're knocking on my door, thanking me for saving the show. And I was like, you're welcome. And let's name the show. No, we'll not. I want to know. I will tell you guys later. But yeah, I was like, I get what, for whatever reason, whatever I brought into that room in the original meeting, they were not into. Yeah. But I'm also not a person that's bouncing from the walls like, I'm just myself, which they were not into. Right. But obviously I amp it up a bit, you know, for the cameras. Oh, I know. But in regular life, I'm just me. I'm just chill. Yeah. It's just you with your little diamond earrings on. That's right. That's right. Pumpkin. Catching the light. And my, look at my shirt. It's onions. I thought it was onions and I didn't want to. It's onions. I didn't want to presume. Mushrooms. Are there, there might be mushrooms. Capers. Maybe there's capers too. Garlic cloves. Cherries. It's a whole smorgasbord. All I know is it's a shirt I wouldn't buy. Maybe this is why I didn't get that job. My wardrobe. They're like onion girls out, obviously. You would not buy this. I'm shocked. But so you bought it for yourself? You saw it on a rack? I must have that. Why did I bring it? Why did I bring this up? I didn't know where it was until. It's so you, girl. It's so you. But picture me seeing that on a rack. I wouldn't have even seen it on the rack. You wouldn't have been in that store. They made this. This was made for me for a project. It was made for me. There's only one in the world? You requested the onions? No, I think it was a long sleeve shirt originally. And you ripped the sleeves off. And they made it into a short sleeve shirt for me. And I was in the middle of it. I was in such a hurry to get here. Don't you make excuses. You love your onion, cherry, capers, peaches, garlic cloves. I grabbed two shirts and just hauled ass down here. Fortune, it's a great shirt for you. Especially with your diamond earrings. There was a minute where I was like, I'm just going to wear my black shirt. But May has on a black shirt. And I was like, well, that might be weird if we're both just in black shirts. So I was like, I have to wear it. And here you are. And here you are. Well, if I can roast myself. Does it make you hungry? Kind of. Who doesn't want to mix some cherries, onions, mushrooms, and capers? This might be the last day I wear it. No. I haven't stopped staring at it since you mentioned it. We want to know what fruits those are meant to be. I don't really know. Yeah, who cares? Is this an onion? This is a. No, what's the kind of onion that's small? Oh, a shallot? Little bitty onion? A shallot? Shallot? I think it's a shallot. And is that a cherry tomato? That could be a fig. Is it a fig? Wait, maybe it's figs. Go to Hulu. Maybe it's figs. You might be right. I think so. Or no, that could also be a giant caper. This shirt is wild. We have to all sign it. I definitely think this is why I didn't get that job. Well, if I can tell you, which I, and I have to confess, I did say this on stage the other night for the first time. So my apologies. I'm going into a bit. It's fine. Go away. It's not even a bit. It really happened. Give us your bit, baby. So I was in Orlando a few months ago with my friend. Yeah. And. Mickey. Huh? I don't know. See? Oh, yeah. But you have to keep trying. I gotta keep trying. You gotta keep putting yourself out there. This is a. Mickey Mouse. I don't know. It's a game show. I'll get you one of these shirts. All I need is a couple. A couple good ones. A couple caper shirts. Mickey was good. Mickey was just not good. It was high-pitched good. It was good. It was good. Mickey was there. Not checking that I packed my hiking shoes before going on the longest hike of my life. Now I'm 10 miles. Then to the trail and a pair of flip-flops and my feet are filing a formal complaint. Allstate, North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Today we're talking about a new sponsor of Handsome, Dipsy. Here's the scenario. I'm winding down for bed and I don't want to just be doom-scrolling on my phone. I don't want to just be on my phone. You're listening to some horrifying true crime podcast. Dipsy is an app chock full of short, spicy audio stories. Dipsy is the number one app for erotic audio stories created by women for everyone. Dipsy's library has over 1,000 stories written by professional writers and produced with a full cast and professional sound design. So you're totally immersed in the story. Whatever you're into, there's a story for it. And you can filter by trope or. By spiciness. And who and what you're into. And right now, Dipsy is giving our listeners their first week free and then 25% off after that when you sign up at dipsystories.com slash handsome. This is an exclusive offer for our podcast listeners. Go to dipsystories.com slash handsome for your first week free, then 25% off. That's D-I-P-S-E-A stories.com slash handsome. I was on a mission. I was on a mission to improve the lighting in a dark hallway of my home. So I went on Wayfair and I found this mid-century modern wall sconce with a wooden base and this opal glass globe by George Oliver. Now my hallway is a whole mood and I'm coming up with excuses to go from room to room just so I can experience it. Wayfair helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value, and trusted reviews. Shop thousands of products across every style and budget, whether you're simply replacing an appliance or transitioning to a new home, transforming your home from top to bottom for the holiday season. Use filters, custom photos, and more than 20 million verified five-star reviews. I've already got multiple comments on my hallway sconce and I'm so happy with the quality as well. Find pieces made for real life and get even more value with Wayfair Rewards. Join Wayfair Rewards today to get 5% back on every purchase. Head to wayfair.com to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. ♪ Wayfair, every style, every home ♪ Okay, you're in Orlando. I'm in Orlando. Yeah. I'm hanging out with a friend of mine. Yeah. Okay, and she says, so, you wear glasses now. And I said, yeah. And I've known her since I was like 18 or something. And I said, yeah. And she was like, you always wear glasses now. And I said, yeah. And she said, so you went to see a doctor, an eye doctor, and you were told you needed them. So you then went to an eyeglass store and looked around. And I said, yeah. And she said, and you picked the Stephen King edition. Oh, my gosh. Wow. What a great burn. And I was like, oh. I said, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess they're Stephen King glasses. And I said, you know, I just needed something to help me see. And then. I go to the airport. This is like a month ago, sometime over the summer when I was going to Toronto. And, you know, the facial recognition. I walk up and I took my glasses off. And the woman staying there who worked at the airport, she goes, oh, no, no, no, no. You don't have to take your glasses off. Those are just for stylish glasses. And I was like, oh, my God. My Lord. Wait, that seems like a rogue rule from her. They have to be stylish for you. You don't have to take them off. - I think she just meant like, you know. fashionable I like those do you but now that you mention it I'm wondering what like the potential of experimenting with different types well just to to finish full circle I tell Stephanie these things and she and then at like a day later she goes oh my god I told my mom about you know the comment about Stephen King glasses and facial recognition saying you don't have to with this and and she goes my mother laughed so hard and then she said and yeah why does she wear those glasses oh my god and I was like oh my lord so now I'm very interested like what glasses is my face calling for this so this never stuck out to you as weird you just always you just have had them for a bit right kind of like the onion shirt I just was used to it well this is fashion yeah you know I listen I definitely could weigh in on what people's people are fashion choices are keepers I never noticed I never flagged them as wrong for your I never flagged them well and then Stephanie did say and they're chipped have you noticed that no no do you see the painting seen them in person in Ohio I can't really tell that they're chipped from here okay maybe you need glasses maybe do you want to try them on give me the name of your person oh man this is blurry everything's blurry how do I look with glasses yeah they're not great they're not I just cemented how not great these glasses are can I try them pass them over to May well maybe May you'll say something funny when I put them on I want to please be so funny oh of course makes them look hot no I don't think so nerd alert this is wow nerd alert well your eye your what is your eyesight now my I told you my eyesight I told you it's very bad right right and I struggle with those on - really yeah you guys are like nothing to me oh my god yeah those glasses are definitely not for you May no they're not they're not for me either who are they for just so now I'm used to you with these well yeah and I've gotten used to your capers it's gonna be with me for a long time now it's gonna be with me for a long time now you know you buy them pre-ripped I don't I don't buy air flow what I what do you really get a lot of air flow through these hands no because they're very well patched up why do you wait why wouldn't you want here why don't you want airflow breezy knees but it's come on man that was good okay then what do you do when you have shorts on ah cam cam is what i do that's right it's so hot out you want you don't want a little cool no because if it's hot out i'm just wearing shorts i'm not doing full denim i ordered some vintage levi's for like 20 bucks like 501s and they arrived today and they reek of like smoke or bo or something like my whole house i was like i got to get them out of my house and just burn them or something oh don't because your backyard it's gonna stay oh yeah you want to try washing them that's a great idea thank you i honestly put my onion shirt in there with them they didn't they they i held them up and they were too small i'm gonna re-redonate them or something i don't want that they were so putridly it sounds like they've been overly donated yeah yeah yeah here's my question are these jeans they are jeans yeah oh okay but these are very thin uh-huh they're almost like jeggings not like stretch jeans yeah they're like stretchy jeans yeah yeah yeah why did you ask i just wasn't sure you know my eyesight's terrible right right i knew you had pants on sizing up my whole outfit i think you look great i told you you're seeing each other for the first time like i'm really seeing each other really taking each other in yeah i know i'm about to go back to north carolina to visit my mama oh jingy mama we are doing one of the episodes i think coming up where i will be with her will she be in the episode she'll be in the room i don't have another you you know i have my headset i do when i'm on your old navy and i'll have one can we get her one or something i would love to i don't know i'll just have to hand it to her for a minute and have her say hi to y'all yeah she's going to put the headset on i think so i'll have her put the headset go to hulu yeah until until we can get her in person um that will have to be the best that we can do i don't know what i told y'all i i don't know what to expect when i'm visiting her now because she's really throwing me curveballs yeah uh last time i went to go visit i posted this online but i got off the internet and i went to hulu and i went to hulu and i went to hulu i went to the plane my brother happened to be in town we had lunch with her and then all of a sudden she's like i want us all to go to the funeral home and we're like what and she goes we're gonna go plan my funeral oh my god we were like with that chipper that the most chipper oh man and that's amazing no it ended up being amazing and everyone that's what everyone was saying like what a gift yeah because you don't want to have to when you're you know when the she as she says hopefully it's right um that you know you don't want to have that um happening when you're sad so we went to the funeral home and i just started well i was like well if i'm coming to the funeral home i am going to film content um so i didn't get well yeah you gotta keep your numbers i gotta keep the numbers up get that star meter up yeah and um and so we go in there and she just starts planning it at first i got started crying only because you know the if if she didn't have incurable cancer it would be more of like oh one day yeah um but this hits a little too close to home yeah with the timeline here and um so i was like crying at first but then then she started telling us her ideas and you can't not laugh she wants a well i remember her second wedding was anything like that similar um she wants a cardboard cutout of herself this is great so a classic funeral oh my god she would like is she being funny no no she's being dead serious cardboard yeah okay so she in like not being funny wants a cardboard cutout of herself for people to take pictures with and stuff honestly i don't know but i guess you could and that's a good question yeah it's pretty easy to ask her if she wants people to take pictures yeah but she wants a full a full cardboard cutout of herself to be somewhere in totally reasonable um i like that she doesn't want to anything at the grave because she wants to be cremated everything's going to be um at the church she wants it at our united methodist church um she wants to pick all the songs what songs yeah um she wants some hymns you know i don't she hasn't picked those out yet but she she was very concerned about what um the snacks would be of course oh after that she wants snacks after you get her cardboard cut out holding a tray of she did she did say no chick-fil-a nuggets just because she's well she's fancy she's still well no she still stands firm on she doesn't love their past with gay oh yeah i know so she even in death she's standing firm on that so she's like toes down whatever just no chick-fil-a nuggets you're like we weren't planning on that she wants the family to have because the ladies of the church um provide um either a meal or a snack for the family and she's like i think y'all should take the meal because that's more food and so oh my god okay and then the best part was um she wants to do a dry run as she calls it of this funeral can i go please so that she can be there to see what people would say what it would look like i mean why don't more people do that i know so at some point there has to be an actual dry run are you gonna do it i i guess we gotta figure it out who does she want to speak i'm not sure yet she probably us you guys for sure so she's gonna let us know um what the songs will be and who's gonna speak now i i don't know like if we invite people to this like will there be an audience there's things to figure out yeah um for sure but yeah wait you already listed yeah so now i hope it's okay that i'm going to steal something please but at my funeral i am also going to say no chick-fil-a nuggets yeah okay yeah so yeah i do i do think we will probably implement the baby pools that she had at her wedding reception for the coolers of the soft drinks and cans of soda is it gonna be in the same location yeah that's where the wedding was the the yeah where she got married is where her funeral would be wow and so the sodas is it like tab and fresca no in the south it's like coke and diet coke and sprite and stuff like that those will be in the reception hall wherever the nod you can nuggets will be and whatever snacks that we but she wants chicken nuggets there she wants um she wants the family to have the hearty meal that the ladies at the church provide sure now what what we do snack wise for the guest after well after the funeral will be up to us because the ladies will have already done their part right um so yeah so we started just laughing hysterically during this because it you know as always my mom's ridiculous yeah but she's dead as i said dead serious about this uh and so we even took pictures that week of her for the cardboard cut out and what did she wear this is she had real she had red pants on and she wants that exact out oh yeah okay red pants on and a shirt um with cherries oh just maybe you could let her wear that you yeah and so and i and we also filmed her that day telling a bunch of stories in her outfit oh right you did the camera multi-camera shoot we did a shoot where she told us a lot of family history and anything that we would want to know any family secret oh that's such a great idea i should have asked i didn't ask them i didn't ask but i did i do think there's more to film her about um definitely yeah so i don't think her story's done if you don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know you think uh there are many more questions yeah let me know but yeah that was uh i was not expecting that but but yeah everyone that that weighed in on it from the content collected was saying that that was such a cool thing for her to do for us yeah and it was i mean you know i hate it's hard to talk about those things because the reality of it is so sad but you know i do appreciate that we are having candid conversations about it too yeah having an open dialogue so many families cannot talk about yeah losing the person who is on their way out even up till their death yeah there's there's no conversation and then you're just in the swamp after and yeah it's so important to me to make sure that max and finn and stephanie everybody knows that i have checked everything off my list in life yeah i just want to be around longer to see max and finn grow up yeah um but there's not anything that is a gift what for myself to be comfortable with mortality for your kids listen i'm not totally comfortable yeah with dying but i'll tell you um i do want to really if i have a choice of how i want things to go how i want to die how the funeral or memorial goes and this is something i think about near daily now really really yeah yeah because i just i'm well aware anything can happen right do you have a plan for your funeral no and that's the thing is like you gotta have a few surprises like it's nice for everyone to know going in and and your family and stuff but like throw being fortunate a little surprise or something like put people on the spot yeah are we invited think about this do you think you would go to my funeral i would be there in a heartbeat but because you're excited no well this is as my mom says many years down many years down the road i just i think it'd be fun to put people on the spot like to be like oh like a pass them oh oh my mom doesn't want to pass the mic around anyone who wants to say stuff come on up but if it was like wow tig in her last will and testament said that we have to do a dance like that's the thing is i think part of the the peace for other people not just that you don't have to plan it but also that you can see your loved one's wishes yeah um just completely yeah exactly the way they had hoped yeah and that would bring joy in the pain and sadness of loss yeah and whether it's serious or or silly or uh what however they want it yeah it would be such a wonderful be like that is exactly exactly yeah yeah what they want them you know those pieces in your closet that you find yourself reaching for over and over again that sweater that somehow works with everything the jeans that you know will always fit just right or the bag you carry everywhere those pieces are what quince does better than anyone quince makes elevated everyday essentials using premium materials like mongolian cashmere organic cotton and premium stretch denim the designs are timeless thoughtfully crafted and made to be worn again and again i have been luxuriating in my 100 organic cotton crew neck sweater from quince it'd be 98 at 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And there's so much to catch up on and planning. And yeah, my mother was like mid-60s. And like nobody saw that coming. And so there was no plan. And the fact that she's bringing you in on the planning and yeah, hopefully it's 10 years from now. And that's not going to be easy either. In 10 years. But the openness is, I find it so remarkable because I think so many people her age not only don't talk about that, but even cancer. It is unspoken. And it's private. And then that's it. And so wherever she got this from is. Yeah. Is she reading amazing books? Or has she just always been. I don't know. This evolved. I mean, she's pretty candid. Yeah. We've always like face things pretty candidly. Are you surprised, though, that that's how she's dealing it? No, I guess not. I mean, I'm surprised by her resilience. Yeah. I think that's probably surprised her, too. Like she's just handled it so strongly because, you know, there are times in her life that she's been, you know, I don't know what the right word is. Like rocked by life. Yeah. Yeah. And had a hard time, like, letting go of the hard things that happened. She would hold on to things. But this she has just faced it very strongly, very openly. She's talked a lot, you know, online about it. And, you know, and what it has done is that I get all I mean, I have never been so immersed in this world of cancer. It's not a world I would choose. It's not a world I would choose to be in, as you know, firsthand. But I've just been so surprised that all the people sharing their stories with me now talking about it and being kind of grateful and that someone's having a conversation about it. Yeah. People are so desperate to be seen like with their own illness or their family members when there's that darkness secretive. And have it modeled. It's like how to do it, how to do it well, you know. Yeah. I would say you guys are doing it spectacularly because there's no getting around it being sad and knowing somebody is struggling and you love her. And and but that it's also like, man, she's kicking such serious ass. Yeah. Even down to like her cardboard cutout. That would be fun. I have to get that made for the dry run for sure. You got to. You have to. She needs to see it. You can just do it on Amazon or. True, true. Yeah. She should just live in her apartment. It's just like it also makes me wish I was like a psychologist because I would love to talk to her and get into her mind and be like, tell me about the chicken nuggets. Well, maybe we can get her on the pod one of these days. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Please. Ask her some questions. That would be amazing. We could. We could. We could devote an episode to her. I would love that. Yeah. We'll figure it out. Yeah. Well, should we get to. Yeah. Let's do it. About this. Let's get our question for today. Yeah. Today's question. Oscar is a Canadian musician and producer who variety is called a feminist and queer icon. She is currently on tour and you can get tickets on our Web site. Peaches is asking today's question. Truly an icon. I have listened to my friends. Just scream, sing peaches songs and it's so fun to watch. Yeah. And her live shows are incredible. You got to go. Hello, handsome. It's peaches and Miss Fancy. Listen to that purr. Oh, she's so cute. And my question for you today is, are you a cat person? Are you a dog person? Are you a snake person? I don't know. A bird person. What? My question is, what kind of pet is your pet of choice? Did you hear the purrs? Yes. I didn't. There was a low rumbling purr there. Yeah, a low rumbling purr. Aww. Purrl. Can you imagine if we revealed that one of us is a snake person and we didn't know this whole time? That is a very specific personality to be a snake person. Well, like iguana people, like that's always heroin dealers in the park. Wait, wait, wait. There are some iguana people that aren't heroin dealers. I'm just being, the guys in the park growing up who had an iguana on their shoulders usually. They were heroin dealers? Usually a heroin dealer. Yeah, yeah. But also. That is a subculture. Yeah, bird people are specific too. I was just reading a kid's book about like friendship. Not for me. Just to figure out how to connect with you guys. I think you're back. Welcome back, my friend. Part of it was like these two kids and one of them was like, I love cats. And the other was like, I love dogs. And then the moral was they were like, wait, I also like dogs and I also like cats. They were like, we can like them both. Like, I don't know when you're born, they go, you've got to be a cat person or a dog person. I love them both. It's like being non-binary. Exactly. Yes. You can be both. Or you can be nothing at all. Exactly. Yes. Whoever. Whatever you want. I would have always said I was a dog person. And then Parv got these two kittens that, I mean, they're a year old now or something, but they are, you can kind of manhandle them. You can get right in there and they're purring and they were strays. What does manhandle look like? But I mean, like, just. Just like grab them and rub your face in them. They never scratch. Rub that face in that puss. They're killers though. They do. Sorry, a few. Miss that. Fortune says. Fortune Marie. No, I just like to make eye contact with Tigg and just say that. Because your mouth freezes. I think there's a dog in my future, but I'm loving it. You're a dog and cat person now. I'm loving these particular cats. Yeah. I don't, I don't like knowing I could get mauled like your cat. Remember? I do remember. Kitty city. But those scars have kind of disappeared. Kind of. Kind of. Was like, you said, oh, my cat scratched me and then revealed it was like you had had a tiger deep maul you. Was it your belly? It was. You know, I think I told you he had gone through some trauma where his head got caught in a plastic bag handle and he tried to get away from it. And then the plastic was flapping behind him. Yeah. And he was just running up the stairs, down the stairs, just trying to get, it was so sad. And ever since then, he was just a little old. And I picked him up, walked past the kitchen counter and pushed the stool in and it went and he used my stomach as his launching pad. Claws out. I mean, yeah. Oh, my God. But it's like, he didn't know that. He didn't mean it. Poor little thing. But what I find fascinating is when people are not any animal. Oh, that's, I mean, they need to go to jail. That's like. It's such a. Some people just do not like. Any animals? Dogs or, yeah. Is that not a red flag? It's, it's interesting. Definitely a different thing. I don't know what that is. Like, I get being nervous about them. Maybe you've had an experience, but like, they are gifts from the Lord. They are. They really are. Yes. Yes. They, they have. I, I truly, I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I sometimes feel like I'm deeply on drugs when I see animals inside the house. Yeah. I'm like, we have animals. Stephanie, we have animals living inside of our house. These little furry creatures are living in our house. They're, they're part of your family. They're taking a shit in a tray there. Yeah. It makes us laugh so hard. Where, after I explained that to her, the, she started having those moments on her own. She's like, I had that drug trippy moment when, when Skip comes. I came walking in the room. It's like, there's a little animal that just presented itself. Yeah. I'll be honest. I am a cat person. Right. We didn't know that about you. I do love a dog. You do? Like you, you like to get in there with the dog. Yeah. The dog has to not smell like a dirty dog. Yeah. I do. I do agree. Yeah. The dirty dog's tough one. And it gets into the furniture. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's, that's a little bit of a. You don't have a problem with that. I. Cause I remember your Harrison Ford, like come here. Oh yeah. Yeah. So it seems like you're fine with the smelly dogs. Well, like cat houses smell like they have cats in them. The, the, the litter, that bothers me more, I think. Like the, yeah, I don't mind. Well, yeah, I guess sometimes like a big golden retriever is real stinky. I don't love that. Uh huh. But man. What do you prefer? A smelly dog or a house that smells like cat litter? No. I think I would. I've never had a cat, so I don't know what that's like. But I would think that with the cat litter, wouldn't just one room smell? Well, this wasn't a real question, but I love that you're taking it to a serious level. I mean, you ask, I want to answer. That's our podcast. You ask, we answer. Are you full dog? Yeah. I mean, I love, I mean, I can't really talk about it. I'll cry again. Wait, I, this just reminded me that someone DM me and said that there, said you got to do this quiz on Handsome that finds out what vegetable you are. Because we, I guess, did a mini episode where we had to say what vegetable we are, and apparently it's so accurate. How did we go to vegetables? I don't know. I was just thinking what you ask, we answer. We will definitely do that. Should I find it? Yeah. Oh, right now? Or maybe put it on the list. After we, after we answer the question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Um, I mean, I'm a, I'm a biggie person, obviously. Yeah. But, yeah. Because I could see you really getting into a little kitten. Yeah, maybe, maybe. I'm really into little dogs. I love little dogs. Yeah. Um, I don't, I don't get to see Biggie. Um, and that makes me sad. Um, so I'm not going to go into that. But, um, yeah, I was totally obsessed with him. Yeah. Um, in a way. I never experienced with any dog. Yeah. Um. Animals teach you how to love. Yeah. Like, to be, you're picking up its shit. Yeah. You're tending to its, and you're like, I love this creature. I know. That's a really, yeah. There was something, like, waking up to him was, like, the greatest feeling in the world. Yeah. Um. And you hadn't had a dog before him? I had a dog growing up. And, and the dog, that dog died when I was 12. And I was so devastated by it that I was like, I'll never have another dog. Not, not in a way that I didn't love dogs, but I was just like, I can't handle this pain. Um. What kind of dog was that? It was a little, uh, Sheltie, it's called, it's like a min, a miniature Collie. Um, and I love that dog, too, but, you know, Biggie, just, I had for nine years. He, we just, he just doesn't live near me anymore. Um, so I don't get to be with him, but, um, yeah, I just couldn't believe how much I loved. Yeah. This dog. So it, oh, he opened my world back then. He opened my world back up. Yeah. To, to dogs. And so now every time I see dogs, I'm always like, oh my God, your dog, I really know wiener dogs right now. Me too. Like the furry ones. The long hair. The long haired ones. Yeah. I'm so into. Too much. Fortune. If I see, I take pictures of people. And how about the blonde ones? Yeah. The blonde, long haired. They're glamorous. They're so great. Yeah. Yeah. I just, everywhere I go and I'm, I'm pet, I pet. Oh, the puppies. I just saw a, a, a handsome listener in, uh, had their wiener dog and I was like, oh, my God. Can I pet your dog? And. Yeah. Um, so I'm very into other, I think that's helping me feel connected to Biggie still. Yeah. Like touching other people's dogs. And now do you think we should potentially get a handsome wiener dog? Maybe. That we, uh. Joint cusp. Yeah. Joint cusp. I would. Don't tempt me. Cause I would. The only thing stopping me is traveling. So. I know the travel. I know, but then that's where we can hand it on. Yeah. With, and then, you know. Oh my God. I mean, I really want one. I love that we all love wiener dogs so much. I love long haired wiener dogs. Long haired wiener dogs. Get out of my way. It's the only, it's the only wiener I wanna touch. Question? I also, I love, if you're, I can't high five Mae on this. So you're gonna. Why can't you? Cause Mae. Cause I'm loving those wieners. Mae loves wieners too. And whatever. I. I really love like a moth. A moth. Yeah. Yeah. A moth. I, I follow all those accounts of like part pit bull kind of moths. Yeah. And I, I like like a, like a moth that the world forgot about. Yeah. That's like older and it's in the shop. Yeah. Maybe I would get an old dog. Oh, like maybe a little hello in there moth. Yes. A hello in there moth. Did you like that song? Yes. Oh my God. Yes. I wanna play it for Power Flitter. Yeah. Yeah. You know, our friend of the pod, Alison Dunbar rescues senior dogs and it takes a special person to be able to do that. She just rescued one. I know. I don't know how she does it. I think it would kill me, but she, cause she lost a senior dog not too long ago. Grandpa. Yeah. That just really devastated her. I would be a wreck. Yeah. But I'm always like, thank God for those people. I know. Who can do it because it just, it does take a special spirit to be able to give that dog a, such a great life at the end. And man. I mean, I, I would hope that I would do it. Yeah. I would love to do that if I had the time and the, you know. Yeah. Schedule that, you know. I know my travel schedule really does prevent me from getting another, another dog right now. That really is what. Well, that's why the community wiener dog situation is, I think really, I think it'll work for us. Yeah. I don't know if I'll ever have a cat, but I could see a world in which. I can't really picture you with a cat. I gotta say. Yeah. I don't know if it's. I can because. He is a little bit bigger than a cat. Yeah. Yeah. And very, if you want snuggly. But he was so chill and cats. I know. God. There are chill, snuggly cats. He's the best. I have pictures of them on my wall. Yeah. It's just the, the, the cats like unpredictable, intermittent, irregular sprints at night where it's like 1:00 AM and you hear like diggity diggity. Oh, I don't think I would like how cats, don't they like paw your head at night? Like they come and smack you in the head. They don't. Not my cats. Oh, maybe you have to just have a certain, like a train, you train cats. I don't. I genuinely don't know. No. No, they just, you just kind of get what, what you get is. My understanding is like they're called tuxedo cats. They're pretty. Black and white cats. Yeah. They're pretty chill. Yeah. Orange cats are chill too. Yeah. Well, I think orange cats can be a little bit cuckoo. Oh really? I do like the furry cats. Yeah. What are those called? Like the real, like real furry. No, there's cats like that have like kind of more matted fur. I like the real soft furry ones. Yeah. You like a long string hair. What is that? Long hair. Maybe. Yeah. My, my friend Andrea had a, what was it? Her cat. Is that it? Yeah. Maybe so. Yeah. That's pretty cute. Yeah. Okay. I like it. Clearly it was big. Yeah. Like a big furry. Yeah. vegetable we are. Can we? Yes. Yes, please. That quiz I found is really long. Oh, no. It's like too long to do. Really? It's a two-hour episode. How much vegetable are you? Thomas says we have to say the vegetable quiz. I just did it myself and it took about five minutes. Oh, man. And what vegetable? I am an onion. You're an onion. No way. Well, look who's inheriting the shirt. We don't know if this is a shallot or a caper or a fig or an onion. Those are for sure capers. This might be an onion. We'll never know. That's a peach. I'm seeing cherry tomatoes. Why is a peach with a shallot? Peaches. Peaches. Look at that. Was that this episode that we flagged your shirt? Yes. Wow. That was a long time ago. Can we hear what peaches answer? Yeah. I'm going to guess a cap, but I don't want to. I love cats and dogs. I wish I could take this cat on tour, but that wouldn't work. I wish I could take this cat for a walk, but I can't. I wish I could start getting a hairline out from the cat, but I can't. And I'll take it. I'm a cat person. That cat is cute. So what is your pet of choice? I do hear the purring. That is an outrageous creature. - The leeches? - No, the cat. That water, what a face that cat has. You heard the purring that time? - I did, that's a Persian. - I have heard, not heard, I have seen people take cats out on leashes. - Oh yeah, yeah. - Is that common? - Not very common or else you'd see it all the time. I wouldn't be saying is that common. - But why are they doing that? - My friend. Well, also near the end of their lives, sometimes they'd do it, but also just-- - Need a little assistance? - Or just to let them experience it. - But also in the beginning of their lives, people put them immediately on a leash and just train them to go on a walk. I tried desperately with Fluff. - You did? - Yeah, and she was like, like jumping in the air and I was like, oh, okay. - She didn't like it? - She did not like that. - Wait, do cats still do the thing where they like go out? - Sometimes. - Sometimes? - Yeah. - Sometimes. - Sometimes. - Do they still do it? Like it was just for the '80s? - Yeah, exactly. Is it still a thing where cats go out and like kill mice and stuff and then come inside or they all stay inside now 'cause of coyotes and stuff? - I was trying to do standup for a while about like did cats figure out how to get down from trees? 'Cause for a while you were calling the fire department all the time. - Yeah. - That's less of a thing. - I came back and now I've left again. - You should have stopped at Mickey. - Yeah. - I actually, the fire department got a cat down from a tree on my street the other night. Yeah, and they had to get the big, huge ladder because the cat was like 50 feet up. There's something so funny about that because you know they could get all the way up and then the cat's like, meow, and goes, and could get down the whole time. Just jumps, though. The cat's into firefighters. Yeah, yeah. I'm so scared up here. In a nightgown. Like you. That is one of my, it's not a joke. One of your kinks. Yes. Yeah, so I'm like an exhausted housewife or a firefighter with a mustache. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. All right, all right. That's right. Well, wow, you guys. Wow. Wow. Meow. I can't remember what comedian, which comedian's joke. It might be Mark Cohen. Did you know him? Years ago, Sarah Silverman told me this joke of his. I think it was Mark. If it's not Mark, apologies, because I know everyone's listening to this podcast. Mark's listening. But it was when he would take his cat to the vet, and the vet would stick his finger in the cat's derriere. The cat would go, wow. That's funny. Wow. That's really good. That's so good. Oh, good times. I'm sure I destroyed that, but yes. What do you have coming up? What do you have? Oh. You go, girl. Okay, I'm on tour. This is the last of my Tank Your Biscuits tour. It makes me smile every time. It's a cute name. October 2nd, Madison, Wisconsin, then Durham, North Carolina, Morganton, North Carolina, Jacksonville, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Oakland, Bakersfield, Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, and Los Angeles, California, Palm Springs. God, a lot of California dates. Denver, and then Nashville, Tennessee. Love it. And then that's the end of that tour. Well, you can find me at Largo or Dynasty Typewriter doing my circus of a show where you never know. Is it stand-up? Will it be a talk show? Will it be- Get me in there and coach. If it's a game show or something, can I come compete? Yeah, maybe it's a game show. We don't know. Maybe it's hot yoga. Yeah? Okay. Oh, get me in for that. I will be in Cincinnati, Ohio, Charleston, West Virginia, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Chico, California, Olympia, Washington, Fresno, Napa, Wilmington, Delaware, Tarrytown, New York, New London, Connecticut. And, of course, my- Yeah. Rescheduled Colorado dates that I apologize that I had to do. It was necessary. Colorado Springs, Steamboat Springs, and Basalt, and the show and the tour goes on forever. Forever and ever. Mine doesn't. It ends in Nashville in November. Well, make sure you subscribe, rate, and review our audio podcast, also on YouTube, and we're available a day early. We're available a day early on Hulu, and- Send your favorite app to your pals. Spread the word. Yeah. It's a good community. Yeah. It's a really handsome one. Send us your food shirts. Send us pictures of you. Are you talking about this? Until next time. Keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Ouellette. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com, and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast. What a podcast. What a podcast. That was a hate gum podcast. Not checking that I have my soundboard plugged in before I record the podcast. Wah, wah. Sure, I can record the podcast without using sound effects, but it's a missed opportunity when I can't feel a long pause with cricket sounds. Yeah, checking first is handsome, so check Allstate First for an auto quote. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.