127: PCP with Eric André | Soder Podcast | EP 125

I need Dangerfield's tie. Yeah, Pete Davidson gave me that. I think it was podcasted. It's like actually his. There's like a certificate. What a specific thing. Yeah, well, he thinks I do a, do an impression of Rodney Dangerfield. That's probably better. (air whooshing) Did you do it in your fiance? Well, like when we're talking about what timeline? (air whooshing) I still have my house in LA. I'm going to work Tuesday. Okay, so you just do both. I do both. I do like winter in LA and then the other. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, I tried to. Yeah. That's like some shit that like- Fuck I'm doing. Like 20 years ago, it was only like CEOs that were like a winter in LA. Oh, not my life. LA place is cheap. Yeah? My mortgage is $2,900 a month. That's fucking not bad at all. Yeah, yeah. How long have you been in that place? 10 years, 11 years. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like being out there at all? I've never. Yeah, it feels like like when you come in your fiance. (air whooshing) (laughing) I got that. I'm just joking. Yeah. Fucking her renders thing to say. No, no, no. Yeah. Oh, definitely. I definitely don't like it. (air whooshing) Hey, everybody. Thanks for watching the show. We got a good one with Eric Andre, who was very fun to hang out with. Once he stopped goading me. Have fun watching this episode. The Eric Andre is the fucking man. Check him out. But also, I'm on the road. This Saturday got a late show at the Paramount in Huntington, New York. We added a 9/30 show, DanSoder.com for those tickets. And then Charlotte, North Carolina. I will see you April 10th. And then Durham, North Carolina. I'm gonna see you the 11th. Also coming up. We've got Munhall, Pennsylvania. They tried to call that Pittsburgh. We got Cleveland, Ohio. We got Columbus, Ohio. And we got Grand Falls, Grant Falls, Casino, and Larchwood, Iowa. Those are the remaining dates on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour. The tickets are now at DanSoder.com. And also the podcast is right now. Thank you for watching. This is a good exercise for me because you're one of the guys that's comfortable being naked. Yeah, I would say that is probably-- You are too. No, I'm not. That's not true. That's-- how do you know? Would you shower with your clothes on? Yes. Every day, you're in never-news. I wore this in the shower. I'm a never-new. You never-- it didn't take a thing to get you free, the being naked all the time or you just grew up being naked. I grew up being naked. Yeah? I feel like there were so-- I'm saying, me, my friends. I mean, my friends, you know, like-- Would you just get naked around? You're like-- you're the comedy of your friend group. And then just one of you decides to do it professionally. But yours was getting naked. Mine was eating stuff for money. Like, cigarette butts. Yeah, those were the two-- those were the two paths. I mean, my friends got naked, too. They-- see, my friends never got naked? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like-- it was like a joke. It was like a joke. Did you get naked? I chose this stuff. You know, you read out Chili Barbers were putting their socks on their cocks. And you're going-- you're going to punk shows. And people were getting naked at the show as a bit. Yeah, when I bumped into that, it was way too late. And I was like, yo, why the fuck is your dick? Are you doing it now? No. Oh, well, you bumped into that. What do you mean, what the fuck? Like, when I started hanging out when that was a joke with a certain group, you'd be like, oh, fuck. You were, too, you were, too. I was already too buttoned up. I was already too, like, why the fuck do you get naked? You're like a diehard nuggets fan. You have like obscured nuggets, players from the '90s. Yeah, I'm from Denver. So I like the nuggets. But you root for the Giants? My family's from the Bay Area. I'm all over here. You're a fucking complex man. I got layers. I couldn't tell you a single one of these guys. Who was on the nuggets? DeGembae Matumbo? Yeah, hell yeah, see? You did it. That's the only one from that era that I know. Yeah, no one did, though. They weren't that good. So no one cared. I saw them beat my heat. I was at that game. Really? Yeah. That was a fun. I never thought we would ever win a championship. That's why, 'cause no one cares. But I can name you heat players. They Harold Miner, Harold Miner, yeah. Harold Miner, Ronnie Psychley. Well, you guys took Tim Hardaway. That's what stopped me from being a Warriors fan. Hardaway. 'Cause I was a Warriors fan, 'cause my dad-- Lots of mourning. Yeah, dude, Alonso. And that famous gift of him shrugging on the sidelines. And then being like, you've seen that one where he's at. I don't know. Oh, where he-- You've never seen that one? Well, he's got a dialysis machine, I think. Yeah, I don't think that's the-- Fuckin' people I'm talking about. I don't think there's a dialysis case with the fucking Alonso mourning. He's not about him sitting on the bench and accepting that they're losing. What kind of fucking psycho goes? Yeah, your favorite player, remember him in the hospital? That famous gift of him? What the fuck are you talking about? Fuck, get out of here. Act like that naked shits, you fucking weirdos show your dicks to each other. And act like, I'm the one with one. Fucking knock you out. We were getting in trouble. Yeah, we were getting in trouble. No, I fucking. We were doing the bunk shows and getting in trouble. In Florida, in like, warehouses and Florida. Florida, I can see. But that's crazy, 'cause people go to Florida to be naked. Oh, yeah, you think so? There's like a lot of fucking swear. Yeah, more naked than you think. I hope so. I would fucking hope so. You got kids? No. They're naked. Nah, I said I don't have them, but yeah, kids don't-- You will have them. No, I'm not, I'm not doing it. You're doing it. Oh, good, good, Deb. Hey, people say that. People say that as the way to wear-- You have a dead energy. It's because I didn't have one. I had to be my own. That's what I have. Where's your dead? Dead. Dead in the ground. When did he, when did he pass 14? That sucks. It's not cool. It's not funny. How do he die? Slerosis. He was a drinker. No one goes slerosis and he goes, nah, man, just in the sun too much. Yeah, he's too fucking his whole liver kicked. It-- I don't want to have kids. That's a tough way to-- Do you want kids? Nah, I'm getting a vasectomy. Me too. But you told her that? Yeah. That's got to be bummed. She's got to be bummed. No. We had to do-- Conversation. We had a conversation about having kids, and we were like, we're not doing it. And so I'm fucking-- The departed of her once. No. We really had long conversations. Long talks. Yeah, we have aunt and uncle energy. I'm a great uncle. That's how I feel. Yeah, I don't fucking want to fuck somebody up. Seems like a lot. He had to want to fuck somebody up. I also don't-- And then they resent you. I don't want to bring it to you. Break up with their mom, and then you're like, fuck, I tried. Like, I'm sorry. It's exactly it. I told you-- I tried. Honestly, the conversation was-- I don't want that pressure. I get-- there's enough. I have enough anxiety. I couldn't imagine adding more anxiety to the current load. And some people will call you selfish. But then you go-- I know. I know. I'm being selfish if I have the kid. That's what I think. And I also think-- I can't adopt one of 90. Exactly. Also, if you go be successful, and you do want to have kids in your adoptor kid, you take a kid from 0 to 60. That kid has a way better life. They has fucking financial stability. Yeah, they're fucking Annie. You're Daddy Warbuck. Exactly. You guys would be Daddy Warbuck. We had a conversation where it was like, I'm going to stay on the road the rest of my career. Because I do stand up. There's not going to be-- So-- I don't know. That AI is going to replace your job. They're going to have AI stand-ups. They are. I mean, they already do it. No, no, no, they already do it. They don't have AI stand-up, do they? They did, they did. They did the George Carlin. And Tom Brady. Well, that was both dudes-y. That was like Will Sasso being funny. And people got mad about it. I don't know, what do you mean? It was Will Sasso's podcast, "Dude-y" that did-- What do you mean "Dude-y"? Why do you keep saying "Dude-y"? That's the name of his podcast. Yeah. It's the name of their podcast was "Dude-y." And he was-- he did a George Carlin and a Tom Brady special, 60-minute AI special. I heard the George Carlin one. They did it also with Tom Brady. And people thought Tom Brady did a real special-- Oh, uh-uh. Yeah, but you can't go on the road and be live with AI. Yeah, so that's why-- You're going to road dog it. Well, yeah, I'd like to stand up and you got to stay on the road. Where are you going next? Orlando, Florida. Where are you playing? To Plaza, theater? Nice. Maybe I did the improv there and fucking bombed. I don't know. It was a tough week. You got to come on my podcast. I got a bombing podcast. Did you just talk about bombing? Yeah, that's it. Did you bomb-- still? You don't bomb still? I bombed the other day at New York comedy club. Doing what? Naked? Proud of you. Naked. [LAUGHTER] Jerk it off. We're in the audience. Fuck it, butt ass. Naked? That might be a problem. It came into the crowd. That's the crowdwork. That's the crowdwork I want to see. Is that working? You fucking whacked the darks into the fucking crowd. You fucking hit and popped lies to the audience. What's the worst bomb you ever had? I think the other night, man. Really? I fucking stunk it up. I've been stinking it up lately. Because I was like, no, not at all. Do you go, I've been kind of quit doing stand-up. And then I was like, when the air gondrashow started, everything that I was doing in my stand-up was satisfied creatively more through the air gondrashow. And I slowly kind of weaned off stand-up. And then I did. I started doing it again. And Netflix offered me money for a special. I started doing it like really pet the pavement and going on the road hardcore. And then I did my Netflix special. I finished editing it February 2020. Delivered it then COVID hit. Then after COVID, I was like, I don't really want to do stand-up anymore. I want to focus on television and film. Which makes sense because you were off the road. No one had to do stand-up. Yeah. That makes complete sense. I turned out on it. And I was like, I rather focus my creative energy. And if I'm writing all day, or filming, or by the time I've been thinking about comedy for 12 hours, I don't really feel like doing stand-up. So I would go to the stand, or New York comedy club, or a show in Brooklyn or something. I just didn't have the same, I was here in my early 20s, and all I had was like, I was full of piss and vinegar in those days, you know what I mean? Like you're just hungry for it, and that's all you could do, that's all I had access to. But now I'm like returning to it, and I feel like an unfrozen caveman, so I'm trying new jokes, but I'm stinking it up out there. Now I like, I'm doing the Louis CK thing where you jerk off at work, no, it is very effective. No, he told me like, he goes, start out with the, and he says this is probably like, start out with like the, a tried and true joke, start with an old joke that works just to get your footing. So the audience can like put their shoulders down and go, okay, this guy's a, has jokes at work. And then do the, and then, and then walk without a tightrope. I was the other night when I bombed, I just was like, only new material that I hadn't even set out loud. And I was like, forgetting half the fucking bed, I was like, shit, you guys ever fuck, wait a minute. Do you ever do the thing where you think the riff is going to take you, and then you go up there and the, and the first thing you say, bombs, and then it just completely, I like, I remember doing that, I was on the road with Nate fucking like 15 years ago, and he watched me do that and he went, you committed the thing where you thought the riff was going to open up everything, and then you bombed, because you, you miss on that one and then you just go like, fuck. The very first open mic I ever did in New York City, I've been doing comedy a year in Boston and college. I was 20, 21 years old, was with Nate Bergotsi. Was that was the first open mic you did? I moved to New York, like a couple years after 9/11, it was 2000, four. Okay. After or October of 2004, I was finishing college, I was interning at Matador Records downtown. That's awesome. For my, because I was in a music business major at Berkeley and fucking, I was doing an open mic, and I was like, I told everybody at work, like, I'm going to do this open mic in New York City. I think this is like, I thought I was going to be like on stage, like, on stage in front of 3,000 people. That's the true advantage. You would imagine every open mic, every person that imagines an open mic imagines that it's a sold out theater, and there's like red curtains on, and that a guy over the God mic brings you up when you don't know. It is one of the saddest experiences of your life. You are in a room with people that don't want to hear you talk. This was even worse, and this was like, this was like, this was, this was like a, where like our Bud Dwyer committed suicide, it was like, it was just going to upset you should leave. You fucking, fucking gun. I mean, as far as ever part of that whole video, I know it talks about it. It plays out the gun, and he goes, if this is going to upset you, you should leave. What a good way to kill yourself. What a crazy thing to say. Before you shoot yourself publicly on the news, my God. So me and Nate, and a couple other comics, it was the yellow open mic. It was comedy soapbox recommended yellow open mic, which was an unfortunate name of a Chinese bar in Chinatown. Fuckin' what? Yeah. It was called the yellow bar. I didn't come up with the name, and it was, it was in the basement. It wasn't even where people drank. It was in the basement with fluorescent lighting, carpet and like uncomfortable church chairs. And it was just me and Nate and two other comics at like 430 in the afternoon, performing for each other. Yeah. And I was like, this is the worst audience. I was like, this is hell, this is hell on earth. What is the point of this? I started in Tucson at a club called Laf's, and what they would do is they, it was smart what they did. They would do the open mic from 7 to 8 p.m. and then there'd be a pro show at 8 p.m. So if you went on late in the open mic, you were going on in front of people. Yeah. You were going on it. That's good. It might have been like 60 people on a Thursday night, but you were going on. Yeah, yeah. And I moved here and I went to like the pit, open mic, or something. I think stand up in New York was the first open mic I went to. Oh yeah. And I went a lot too. I was like, this is. This is rough. This is rough. And then also the amount of mental ill people in New York city that you stand up is like tenfold more than anywhere else. Maybe LA, it's ghost. Oh, I don't know. New York. But they literally come in off the street. Yeah. We just want to rent. Yeah. Do you want to see me? Yeah. And I learned how to diagnose schizophrenia faster than I learned how to get on a show. By being a New York open mic or you're just like, well, this person's clearly out of their fucking mind. That's always why the Brooklyn scene intimidated me because when I would go to like Union Hall or one of those venues, everyone, even if they were faking it seemed so comfortable on stage. That's why I was like, like part of that like shit always blew my, Rafifi was a place you'd go and watch people and be like, they're all so comfortable doing this. I feel like a fucking fraud. Oh, really? I felt like they were like a private school. It really felt like that. Yeah, I felt totally not as you're coming from the punk scene in Florida, which is like, they were, they were like, that's like the with school dandies that were like so incestuous. And I like, I felt like I wasn't part of the cool club. Yeah. That's how I, but it's weird is I felt the same, but for a different reason. Yeah. I felt like it was like loud and fucking yeah, Ram Bunches and, and, and it was like cool to be a fairy like monotone, like the office and like very like, it was cool to be like, like I don't know fucking mousey and indeed. Yeah. Yeah. You can do issues and kicking around. Yeah. Shoegazy. I was not that at all. I was like bad brain. So like they, those motherfuckers did not like me at all. I never felt like I belong to that. But the punk thing makes so much sense. When did you get into punk music, like very young 12? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's a shit that like clicked for you where you were like the first time you heard bad brains. Yeah. When you're in like, what are you favorite made like you're like making cassette tape mixes for your friends? Yeah. Punk bands specifically or any band? Just like punk bands. Punk bands were like. Because I was too big of a pussy for punk. No. I think I heard that. And I was like, these guys are fucking nuts. That's the nude thing. Yeah. Yeah. These guys are nuts. I was like, these guys are fucking. Bullets. Dude, I'm not gonna lie. When you're a jacket required, when you're a child of an alcoholic, this is what I'm talking about. Were your parents divorced? Yeah. But they both drank. So it's like mom drank. Yeah, but she, she was listening to the Bonnie rate. And then I was going out to California with my dad in the Bay Area and he was getting fucked up to buff it. And like. Oh, wow. Like, what did your parents mean? San Francisco. In the sense. What were they doing? My mom worked in insurance. My dad was a bartender. And he just, they had me. They broke up. My dad went back to the Bay. My mom was in Colorado. So you split up your time? Yeah. Oh, that's where you're in Nuggets and in Giants. Yeah. I picked the Nuggets because they traded Tim Hardaway to the heat. I was a Warriors fan and then they traded Tim Hardaway and I was like, he'll fuck that. He's going to the heat. And then I have a band. Well, I had no teams in Denver. And I'm like, fighting kids on the playground because I'm like the 49ers away better than the Bronx. So you split your time going back and forth? Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. I mean, I flew a lot as a kid. Yeah. But you know, what's your friend? Where's your friend group? Denver. Cause that's where I went to school. Oh, so summers you would be with summer or winter? I would go. And dad was like, glug, glug, glug all the time. What was his, what was his rum, whiskey, karting and coke? I'm a big rum guy. He would do mostly put karting and a splash of coke and get after it. Yeah. But then he moved. Do you think he was had depression? I think he was an alcoholic, maybe he was probably depression. Did your grandpa have alcoholism? Yeah. Whole family did. Yeah. So it's like in the blood. Yeah. That's, I quit 13 years ago. So why you were, you were hitting a fucking salt. I can't know you. I was fucking booze. You were saucy. I was fucking booze. I remember we did an outside show and I showed up like 30 minutes late black half in the bag. Yeah. I showed up. There's a picture of me, you and Reese Waters. Let me see. I fucking remember. You got to look it up. Let me see if I could find it. What was your drink, what was your drink of choice? You were not a creek guy. I would, uh, no, I was a Jameson with a beer back. I used to like to do shower. I used to, yeah, yeah, I used to do like not drop in. I would do a shot and then have a beer. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Let me see if I can get all the way back to, I don't think it's on this phone. I'm trying to drink and do more drugs. Oh, life. You want to get, you want to get, I never had like a bad period with you. You never did? No. I like, I find this later. I kind of was a fucking little chicken about it. So, but see, that's crazy to me because to me, the punk music thing, to me, was more braver than getting fucked up. I thought, really? Yeah, like you going to shows and like fucking, like, like, crowd surfing or getting naked and being like, you guys are spitting on each other and throwing and just joking around. I know. Same way you joke around. I know. But I didn't realize that to me. It was like, scaring. I was like, God, these guys beat each other. I never did. I would have loved to. I think if I would have done it. I want to do it once before I die. Me too. When I'm alone. Not in a syringe. I would smoke it. You would? I would want to fool. You want to do the syringe. Yeah. I'm nurse, like a registered nurse that knows how to administer it. I'm going to set it up. We're both going to be like 81. What is the crack, too? Well, you have to, that's how you have to pull out of it. It's the heroin down, crack out, and then you die. That's a fucking way to, that's a way to fucking go out high five gone on the way out. That's, that's interesting to me because I never thought like, everybody I know had a problem with drugs or alcohol. Yeah. Most people I grew up with. Everyone had them. Yeah. My friends in high school are dead. So did you see that and you were like, I'm not fucking with that. I'm just not going to. I just did drugs and moderation. and I didn't do opiates. - Do you not have like an addictive personality at all? - No, my parents didn't really drink that much. - I did some drinks a little bit. - Yeah, but they have like social drinks, right? Like once a week. - My dad rarely drinks. - I always loved that when I go to a friend's house and they'd be like, "What dad had a couple beers?" And you're like, "Yeah, that's how they move." That's how they operate. No, no, they don't. And like, you'll watch someone. That's always, that's one of the reasons I started noticing I really had a problem, was I'd go to weddings and people would expect me to get like, really fucked up. And I was like, "Well, you drink it in the morning?" Sometimes? - Well, you drink it every day? - No, oh, yeah, every day, every night, for sure. That's how I got through the open mics with me, when they would pin you a drink ticket. I'm the guys that that worked on. - Yeah, that's tough 'cause you got it and you got it from your dad. You got it in the blood. - Yeah, it's in my blood. My aunt was a crackhead and she like told me, 'cause she got sober. - When you know in Europe, you couldn't drink water. You had to drink alcohol. - That was also in like the, the Old West. Beer, beer was like. - You like alcoholism and alcoholics were the only ones that would survive. - 'Cause dehydration. - You wouldn't drink water in Europe. My friends were like, my friend is like, my friend Simon, he's Jewish, but he was like, Europeans were designed to be alcoholics. You couldn't drink the water. So if you didn't have beer for two days, you would die. You would die from dehydration. - That's great. - You know like alcoholism is like bread. It's like a bent, like Winston Churchill, total booze bag lived till he was 95. - Because it was, I didn't even realize that. - Yeah, 'cause you couldn't drink. - I knew in the Old West it was like the water was so bad. The alcohol killed it off. So you could have whiskey or beer. - Yeah. - And you kind of knew that was safe. - But you had to put whiskey in your water. You had to drink beer to drink water. - That's fuck you had to. So like, that's something I want to read into 'cause it's like, sort of a bitch. I was born into that shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like you're gonna be a fucking booze bag. - Yeah. - 'Cause when I was young, when we were teenagers, I thought it was like a superpower. - I'm reading this book about the history of rum and it talks about like the how in the European cities, they like had to drink alcohol 'cause the water was so polluted, but Native Americans could drink out of lakes and glacier water and then when they started, when like Ben Franklin, those of us started introducing rum and whiskey and jitter. - That was it. - Indians were going nuts and getting one of the fucking rocks. - They were, they weren't like bred to consume that much alcohol. - It's a real good book on the sue in the movie, the movement of the sue to like North Dakota and the black hills and shit. The part of everything that is, it's about Red Cloud. And they, a specific. - Sitting bowl and all that shit. - It's about like Crazy Horse, Custard's last day and he was involved in all that shit. Red Cloud was like, one of the only four in generals to have like three or four victories against the US Army and the history of the country. But they talked about how they used to, that the Native Americans would trade for coffee was their first shit. That they were like, yo, what is this? - This thing gets you geek. - Yeah, I want this coffee tobacco. They would trade for tobacco. And then when they brought whiskey, they were like, fuck that other shit. I want that firewater and that's when, you know, that's a corruption in the United States was like, oh, we can just turn, we can turn them out. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then you'll just steal their land 'cause they'll be drunk and disordered. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That's fucking crazy, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - They were like, perfect. - Yeah, yeah, as we all know, it's already in my blood. - Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of fucking sense. - It's also a lot. - 'Cause it was the way to decontaminate water. - Yeah. - 'Cause it's easier than decontaminating the water source. It's just going along. - Well, they were just like shit and pissing in the streets. Like fucking Beethoven and Mona Lisa. They were like pissing shit and a bugging and just throwing it out of a fucking window in Vienna. I was like, fuck off. - It's like a G.G. Alan concert in a way. - Yeah, fuck off. - But then there are people in the punk scene. They're like, yeah, fuck off, fuck off. - That's how the punk scene started. There are people outside, they're like, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Oh, fuck off, you're trying to get the fuck out of here. - Fucking Beethoven's just gold on shower. - Ben Franklin, dude, man, the more you read about him and how just like, he was just like, I won't pull a sea enough out of this. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He was just like, he was on fires. And he was just going, the French don't complain and you're like, Jesus Christ. These old guys and wigs just sweatin' through a July. - Like crazy pimples, they had those like super pimples and chillin' about that. They like, they had like fucked up skid and super pimples and they would like, put makeup on. Like they're fucking porcelain. - That's like the, it's syphilis and their brains were fucking deteriorated. - And they're the ones that they're like, - The full fathers would be disappointed today. - They'd be out of their fucking tits. - Yeah. - They'd be on the street. - They're hammered. - And they would get like a bad batch of brandy that had like methanol in it and go blind. Like, yeah, when you distill liquor, it's called the head. Like the first part of it is methanol and you get rid of it. - Sure. - And it's the stuff in the middle of the distillation process that you drink. - Sure. - So you get rid of the head of the tail. But the head, you really have to get rid of it. You can drink the tail, but it doesn't say it's good. - That's like moonshine. Like when all those people in the south go blind from moonshines 'cause they don't get rid of all that. - Yeah, you got to get rid of the methanol. - 'Cause you just go for that sweet, sweet ethanol. Burn down. - Go for the sweet, sweet ethanol. - But then I didn't even fuck dude. You know what's that thought of that? Like the forefathers and super wigs. And like. - The British judges are still rocking those fucking wigs. - But I'd taken them off and I'd sweat either. - Why do they rock those fucking wigs? - And you know that the British judges, they study in the city of London, which isn't London. It's a miniature city within the middle of London that has like secret societies and weird like, that's where those judges study and I get those fucking wigs. - That's when they put it all like Vader's helmet and they press it down and like. - You are off, Chad. - But they look like those sheep that like, you know the sheep in New Zealand that get lost for five years and come back. - 70 pounder on dreadlock. - Dude, I used to search for those 'cause when I was on the road and I was like, it was like cathartic to me to watch them shave down those like heavy shit. - Because like dreadlock fucking rostashe would have. - I'll be 19 to four fires for a long time. - Blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop. - I'll be a sheep, I'm no longer a lamb. I'll be a real lion. - You can't really shave them down. - You want some mutton, yeah. I'll be doing, be giving you my chops. I'll be giving you a 14 rostashe. - You're a rostashe. You have to be a queen. - Don't you get lonely on the road? - Yeah, all the road. - Road, I feel like it's isolating. - It's very. - Especially when I'm in like de moine or like corn country. - So you bring a friend open. - Yeah, 'cause you got to bring a friend. - You got to bring a friend open. - If you go by yourself, it's fucking crazy. That's why I used to watch, I used to speak in a dreadlocks. I used to, a thing I used to love was watching big beards get shaved 'cause it was like a relief and dreadlocks getting cut off. And then you watch-- - You watch video of that. - You throw a wreath to look like it was stinking up my honor for a long time. - Because it looks like-- - I'm watching Puerto Rican thickies like child. They're new bikinis, you're like-- - Just shake it up. - Look at his dude shave. - And I'm watching that. - I'm like this. - Smooth. - He's done? - Yeah, I've got to have your phone on. I guess I'll jerk off at this. But you know the back to the forefathers things, not thinking of they had super pimples or that they fucking were hammered all the time. - Hammered. - That's like the syphilis. - Everybody's like, I wanna go back there and you're like, this smells. - Should they reek, horseshit everywhere. - New York City, horsehit everywhere. - People that complain now about New York City, you go imagine during 1770s. - Everybody's breath is like whiskey, breath, dead teeth. Horsehit. - They're wearing it, they're sweating. - The conarscy Indians would pay people in like clams and oysters and chits and it's like fucking old times. - You know when they have a sack? You know how like, you know how white people love them? - White people love to go to like a Montauk or New England and go clamming. And they go, we just had a bag and we just put the clams in the bag. That was like 1776 people that walk around in there and just like walk around and like, dude. - In August. - Walking. - Don't eat those clams. And he's like, they go got mad and then you're shit in the pot. But I think about that with dinosaurs too. If you went back to when dinosaurs, you like, the smells would be like, you could have a time, any time travel. If you go back, you would just get out and be like, what the fuck is this? - The dinosaurs are keeping it moving. Like before agriculture, humans, dinosaurs, everybody's keeping it moving. - Yeah. - So you're like, shit, but then you keep it going. There's no like city center. - Sure. - You're nomadic so you just like, move on from the shit. Like when you're walking through the woods and you see fucking deer shit or bear shit, you're not like, I mean, if you put your nose in it's gonna stink. But you're like, you know, keep it moving. - Yeah, but also a lot of times it's dried out so that it doesn't stink as bad. - Yeah, it's when we started getting stationary like after like agriculture was invented. That's when diseases spring up. - The industrial revolution made everybody sick. 'Cause it was just like-- - Before that's agriculture. - Really? - Because you read guns, germs, and steel. - It started it? - Everybody-- - I haven't even been able to cross it. - Yeah, like everybody fucking sat still. And pigs and cows were wallowing and shit. People were started fucking their sheep's and getting fucking, it's true. Like pox, all the pox, small pox. And all the-- - This all dudes was all from cows, yeah. - 'Cause dudes were like, look at that pussy. - There's a wife annoying, but the sheep's up. - Oh yeah. - It's just like, yeah. - Yeah, like people were you were hitting the pigs and you were hitting the cows. - You were hit too much in a positive way. - Not like my wife or she's like, don't maybe go through nine months of pain again. 'Cause you know, I never fucking had a shit out of those days. I think the sheep were like, ah, fuck. - Yeah, farmer browns, the first two like fucking sprawl out being like, get me away. - But all the modern like viruses and stuff are from agriculture. for animal rights. from animals like wallowing in their shit and us eating and fucking 'em. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The guy that tried to make fucking a sheep cool, you know, like sitting around and they go, he's all very lovely, cuts at me and he goes, "Well, what'd you say if I told you I had sex with this?" (laughing) - They'd be like-- - What about the fucking-- - They'd react like I did about getting naked, I'd be like, "I don't hate it!" - And be like, "But I'll try it later." Would I more comfortable, I'll try it. - Well, you were the most bummed when you were talking about coming in your wife, you were like, "Shit, you were like, "I sure he did." I thought you'd be clicking your heels. - Yeah, I mean, it is the best thing. (laughing) It's the greatest thing ever. But it's like, until I get-- - 'Cause I have the vasect-- I'm scheduling the vasectomy. - Yeah. - And so up, I'm thinking about-- - Are you freaking this room? - Now, I'm gonna go and I'm thinking about how much I'm gonna love it, post vasectomy. - Oh yeah. - You can talk about it, damn it. - We're gonna have a home run handshake. (screaming) - I'm gonna be like, blah, blah, blah. 'Cause it's gonna be, it's bowing with bumpers. Then I don't have to worry about, 'cause I think that's the worry. We're both so decided that I don't wanna fuck up. That's where the nervousness is, damn dude. But now I'm-- - Is that the big show? - Yeah, dude. That's the raw 20, I know the camera's gonna see. It's the raw 25th anniversary. Michael Che called me and he was like, "Do you wanna go to raw 25th anniversary?" And I was like, "Fuck it, eh?" - Yeah, oh yeah. - That's the best with him, too. So they do the thing, you know, whether you drive in the SUV and you go down the elevator. He like, Che, they treat Che. - Oh, Che's like the fucking Megan Merkel of the wrestling world. - No, they don't know. - Him and Sal, Sal will cry in. - They go in and they go, like, come on, ringside. Like they sit ringside, it's fucking. It's different than when I went with Dan St. Germain for his bachelor party and we were like, say it's the last row of MSG. And then I'm watching Stone Cold Steve Austin have a beer with Sal. He's like, "Holy shit, I'll get in the ring." And we're all at the top. Me, Mike Lawrence, Dan St. Germain, Scott Chaplin, we're an NWO shirts. - Right. - And we're like, "We know that guy!" - Way better experience. - N-W-O is W-C-W, right? - Yeah, but they, it came over to W-W-E. - Oh, it did? - Yeah, they had the whole invasion. - W-C-W was cool, was that cool enough? - Well, they got bought out. Vince McMahon bought W-C-W. - He did not like W-C-W. - Yeah, this is the only competition. And he was a true carnival man. So he bought it out. He wanted to be the only showtime. - Yeah, and then he ran it. - What about AEW? I got one of those chairs over there. Shout out, they still got one. - Shout out Colt Cabana. - Yeah. - What about ECW? - It's got bought by AEW as well. - Oh, shit. - WWE bought ECW and W-CW and owned them all. So they own all the property. And then AEW's been the only, I mean, there's also TNA, which got bought out by WWE. But there's other like wrestling leagues. - Is Triple H I-A-E-W? - You can't touch it. - Why? He cons to Rich, the guy who owns it. - He won't, he won't. - He's a billionaire. - He's a professional. - Yeah, and he wants to run it himself. There are enemies. But that always happens in wrestling, where you get bought out. - I just heard your audience change the channel. (laughing) - Wrong. My audience just fucked up with double guards. - Yeah, but here's the thing. - I'm the guy, ECW. - I'm the guy that's been pushing back on people calling wrestling gay since I was eight. 'Cause it is, but it's my kind of gay. Like, there's no bustin' inside. (laughing) - Jesus fuck it. But it's like, that's what I'm upset about with the WWE now, is they are hoarding people to get, like, they're getting famous people, but it's famous people that have been shitting on wrestling for 20 years. - Oh fuck that. - And so I just go, I had junkyard dogs, bedsheets growing up. - Junkyard dog was the man. - And I thought she started side of the ring. - That guy was fucking nuts. - That guy was over. And I'm, by over, I mean, popular. Like, he was the fucking man. - How did he die? - I don't know. I forgot. - I had, my bedroom sheets growing up were Hulk, Ogan, Macho Man, and junkyard dogs. - Yeah, I know what you're talking about. It's the wrestling super junkyard dog doll. - Yeah, one of those. The big rubber one with the red pants. - Me too. - I had this doll. - I had the J-Wide Macho Man doll, and I had a-- - That's the original Macho Man from the '80s where he had the fucking weird headband and shit. - I had this. - Yeah. - A fan gave me those after a show. - A show of tongue, Georgia Animal Steel. - Yep. - I had to. - I had the green tongue. - I had the Andre, the giant, where he had the Afro and the blue shorts, and it was like, I had the old school Andro before the strap. - That's true. - Before he was really hot. - Double check that, 'cause that's a crazy way. But he was like, so it's crazy. There's a great bull. - Those guys had like, "Happen Titans." - Who said like, "Oh my God, they all are." - Oh, he's a heroin co-kid math fit. - Well, they were detained. - GHB got famous because you know, GHB got famous 'cause of bodybuilders and pro wrestlers. 'Cause if you take GHB, it helps you sleep, but it burns fat while you sleep. - Oh, really? - So they would take it. - I know the gays like it, 'cause you can drink. You can get drunk, but no calories. - So it's like a super alcohol. - Because it burns the fat. When you're sleeping, GHB has a reaction where it burns the fat. - God, it's a wonder drug. - So wrestlers would take it to go to sleep on the road. 'Cause they're on the road 300 days a year. - So they're like-- - I took it and fucking passed out by the wheel. - But they were using it in ways where it was like, before the date, we're like, excellent. I can really do that. Wrestlers were like, oh, I can sleep and I'll wake up, look and fucking cut. - Oh, yeah. 'Cause they used to sell it at GNC back in the day. - Yeah, we would do it at raves in high school. - Really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - How would you do it? Just like you scoops, you would do a shot of it at a rave in high school. - Which is fun. - And you would just get it at GNC, yeah. - Would you pass out if you do too much of it? - Okay, but if you do the right amount, you gotta like, set your watch to do the right amount, 'cause you can overdose and it sucks. - See, for me, grow enough. - And you don't wanna mix it with alcohol and you don't wanna mix it with ketamine or your cook. - Or your debt. - You're not in good shape. - So that was always the fear for me. It was like, that kind of shit was scary to me, but then doing ball rips and drinking a fucking half a bottle of whiskey, I was like, well, that's normal. - Yeah. - That's like Florida. - So we're like-- - And it was wrong. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We would spray our weed with raid and bunk spray and shit. - When did you first see-- - A cloud nine would dip the weed in embalming fluid. - What? - It's Sherman, baby. - Let's just go with Sherman, let's get wet. - Yeah. - Yeah, we were fucking nuts. - When did you ever see bath salts? Or did you leave by the time-- - No, but I heard that the bath salt thing, the guy that zombie ate that guy's face, they drug tested him and he just had like a very teeny, tiny bit of weed in the system. - So he was just-- - It was just schizophrenia. - Yeah, it was total, I don't know, undecnosed, but it was like-- - Something. - It was junk journalism. I'm friends with Hamilton Morris, who has a chill and vice, Hamilton's pharmacopia. - Yeah. - He goes, "It's totally junk journalism, "scare tactic journalism." - Okay. - He's like, "It's total bullshit." They didn't find anything in that guy. - I wonder if it's it. - PCP too, he goes, "PCB doesn't give you super strength." - It does it. - He goes, "PCP was invented by the anesthesiologist. "It's kissing cousins with ketamine. "It's almost the exact same thing as ketamine." - Oh shit. - But poor, he goes, "If poor white people "or poor black people do it, "then it's gonna have a bunch of junk journalism "about it." So he goes, "Crystal meth and Adderall "almost exactly the same, molecularly." - Really? - "One molecule difference, "but poor white people do crystal meth "and suburban to rich white people do Adderall." - And it's also-- - And it's the Chris Rock joke. The government doesn't want you to do your drugs. The government wants you to do it. They're drugs. - Yes, I mean-- - So PCP, poor black people, poor white people do it. Tetamine, suburban white people, rich white people do it. He's like, "It's almost the same drug." Invented for the same reasons. Both invented by anesthesiologists. - Because poor white people do Adderall same drug. - Especially early '90s, early mid '90s. PCP was, if you take it, you'll break through the handcuffs of the police. - Yeah, you'll break through the handcuff, you'll peel off your hand, total, complete bullshit. - You'll get shot by the cops nine times to survive. - Total bullshit. - I did it recently. - You did PCP? - I did like a little bum. The guy I got my second Alex from was like, PCP was on the menu. So I was like, "Let me trust you." My friend was doing ketamine, so I was like, "I don't really like ketamine. "Let me try PCP." Not only did I not feel super strength. Which is like, "I wish." That'd be fucking right. - If you're on steroids, I mean, I'm sure that somebody on cops who was on steroids and experiencing a psychotic break and doing PCP was on PCP, but I did it and I felt great. - You're grabbing in a list. - I did a little bump though. I didn't do like a fucking. - I'm grabbing like a clean and jerk from the Olympics and popping both your shoulders up. But that's, you know what I mean? It's like, I didn't even know that. I didn't know PCP was molecularly the same as, 'cause I knew kids doing ketamine in medical school. - I don't know if it's exactly the same, but it's like, it was invented for the same reason. One scientist invented it for. - Yeah, they're both invented by anesthesiologists. - You know what's funny is about the government thing was when I lived in Tucson, it was the first major crackdown on selling pseudophad, 'cause they were turning it into a crystal meth. - Right. - And really, that's just the government going, no, no, no, you can't go make it yourself. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we gotta go from it. - Gotta go from it. - So they were, they were just taking it out. - So, so, so. - Adderall by Vance, it's just part of the infetamine family. It's the same thing Hitler would shoot up. - Yeah, I was just, it's not that different. And also, crack and cocaine are almost exactly the same. The only difference between crack is the baking soda. It's the same, it's the same. - But even though. - You smoke crack, and you don't, and you snort cocaine, but they're the same, but Reagan passed all these laws to make crack, get, get, get. - 'Cause that was the cheap one. - We've heard of it. - We're, we're, we're sentencing for crack possession. - So what about the whole CIA highway, Ricky Ross, bringing it across. bringing it into black neighborhoods. - A Oakland in '83. - Yeah, like all that stuff was that, that was just cocaine. - I got to ask Carl Hess, he wouldn't know. He told me the whole history of it. It was like, they were experimenting. Something, I think it was in Belize. I don't want to get this information wrong. It was like-- - But what this up? Also, Carl Hess, I haven't heard that name before. - Yeah, yeah, I love Carl. He's my joke buddy. - He's awesome. - He's the man. - Carl Hess rules. - Yeah, and he has like encyclopedic knowledge. Like, he was telling me that the CIA, they're always tampering with Central America. So like, in like, eventing, like fucking, you know. - Like funding, selling weapons. - Yeah, funding paramilitary death groups and contras and, you know, starting civil war. So it was something like, they were making, like Belize, I think, was getting cocaine and basically like stepping on it with baking soda to make it cheaper. - It cooking it. - And cooking it and then the CIA brought that into Oakland and introduced the black neighborhoods in Oakland. - To fuck them up like the way that the Native Americans were fucked up by whiskey. - It was just their new-- - And Randy and Andrew. - Same bit, just a different punchline. - Same bit, same bit. - So they just go, we're just doing a different arc. - So, yeah, so, but it's, so Coke and crack. Almost identical. Meth and Adderall, one molecule different and PCB and ketamine, almost exactly the same. - Do you think they have, do you think like the ultra rich have like an alternative version of alcohol that doesn't-- - It's GHB. - And my friend, my buddy that said, when GHB got labeled the date drug, he goes, I bet you Anheuser Bush is pushing that narrative. - That's what I'm, okay. So that's what I was also wondering about. - A lot of people are going back to, the Gays started going back to GHB and the Straits are following suit. Because now people are looking at it like, wait, is it the date drug, or is any sedative in the hands of a rapist? - A weed gummy is a date drug. - Yeah. - If you're a rapist. - You're giving me a 200 million. - You know, fucking, you're a fucking LPM. Is it date drug? If you're a fucking rapist? - Fucking Nike will. - Nike will, is it date drug? - Yes, so a lot of people are going back to GHB because they're like, wait, we're all those stories in the late 90s, early 2000s, where those pushed by Anheuser's Bush agenda. A lot of people are thinking about that. - That makes sense. - I'm sorry for that, because of the junk science coming out about PCP in the 80s and crack in the 80s, and it's the same thing. So, yes, GHB is like an alternative to alcohol that can get you drunk, but you have to do it safely 'cause you can fuckin' overdose really soon. - I wonder if they're doing that right now because you're seeing that weed. They're going like, yeah, marijuana is causing psychosis and kids and they're 20s and shit. Kind of like, they're trying to do a weed scare but still make money off it. And I wonder if it's, 'cause alcohol sales have plummeted. Kids now do not drink Gen Z, Gen Alpha. They don't want a drink. - I'm hearing them, but I'm also-- - I have a friend that works for like a major liquor company and he's like, no, the number's really bad for you. (laughing) - Ask him, I'm talking about it. - I'm talking about it too much on this podcast. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, cancerous and it's like-- - Cause most of the health problems. - And it screws with your pocket. - It deteriorates your friend's a love. - Your body can't regenerate shit when it's fighting out the sickness. - It's alcohol. - You're putting in, you're just putting in-- - It's crazy. - Yeah. - But it's crazy. But I mean, we had beer and wine for millions of years and we've only had liquor for like 500 years. - 600 years? - That's the real mother fucker problem. - Yeah, so like, we would drink our-- - We would like, there's like, 10 times the ABV beer. So we had like, we had like 3% alcohol beer for millions of years. That's like your body can handle. - Yeah. - But like, liquor is stilled with an Olympic fucking, like a pot still is like, that's like, the industrial revolution. That's like, that's like, you know-- - Who was it first? Was it the Brits with gin? - Well, those was the first one that the Olympic stills are from the Middle East. - Okay. - They're like Arabic. So it was maybe French people in North Africa or Spanish people in North Africa throwing different things in these Atlantic stills. - That's the first perfume. - But like, some fucking mad sign is like, "Oh shit, is shit good you live, bro?" "I am so sick of nothing, pussy, and all good to put some factory in this drug." And he's like, "I don't give a shit about any of these." - I would kill everyone. But that makes the bath salt thing, now that we're talking about companies coming back, I wonder if that's a hit job from someone, like a fucking bubble bath companies being like, "Yo, these bath salts are fucking us up." - Maybe. - Maybe we fucking-- - I don't know. - Create a thing that they're gonna make you eat people's face. 'Cause that had to take a hit. - Yeah, that guy in Florida got accused of zombifying-- - He's totally bullshit. - It is all bullshit, but I'm saying how far that's bread. - Yeah, 'cause misinformation spreads-- - It's easier. - 10 times as much as you're real information. Real information is boring. - It's misinformation is exciting. - Misinformation, you go like, "Oh, give me more." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. - Yeah, it's way more exciting. - Real science, you go, "Well." - You're like, "Y'all." - I don't know what that makes sense. - Shut up nerds, we're trying to hear fake information. - Yeah, but I mean, you guys do in GHB. If you told me in high school, we can go to this house party and do gravity-bong hits and drink ever clear. Or you can go to this punk show, do a shot of GHB and just have a good time and be sweaty. - Yeah, no hangover. - No hangover. - You know what I mean? No hangover and you're fine. I would've been more scared of that than go into a kid's-- - Well, like alcohol is normalized. - Yeah. - So it's like everything's marketing, you know what I mean? - Yeah, if you're used to something, it's a, what is it called? I mean, it's either mere exposure effect or repeated exposure effect, something like that. - Probably repeated exposure. - It's just like, I don't know if I'm getting that term right. It's something about like, if you just see a fucking Pepsi ad 10,000 times, you're fucking chimpanzee brain goes, okay, Pepsi's safe. I'm seeing it all the time. - That's why I have a big problem with pharmaceutical ads, because we're the only country. I think there's like us and one other country are the only countries that pharmaceutical ads are allowed to be on TV. Where they're allowed to market the drug and skip the doctor. Where they're basically allowed to go to the person and be like, which blows my mind. - Hey, life could be better. - By the way, it's not even those kind of drugs. It's like complicated ones that's like, if you have thyroid cancer, you might be able to live five more months with this drug. And you're like, well, the doctor should be telling people. - You should learn that because you were watching fucking Wheel of Fortune, and you're like, hey, I think I found another five months to my life if I take this with the catchy song. - Yeah. - They did a parody of a famous song, and now I wanna come to your office, and they're, 'cause they're always like, consult your doctor. It's like, the doctor should be fucking telling you. That's one of the crazy things. It's pharmaceutical ads and gamble. I'm very loud about the gambling shit, because that is just gonna fucking, that's gonna ruin people the way opiates did. But I think pharmaceutical ads are right up there with like, what the fuck are we doing? - I think iPhone addiction, where you'll look back on iPhone's fucking cigarettes. - We were talking about that, it's like, - I'm so fucking addicted to my phone. It's fucking tragedy. - I started putting that on a doom scroll. I'm like, what did I just do for two hours? - I will check out of doing something to doom scroll, and then check back in and go. I just lost three minutes. - I just lost two hours of my life. - I doing what? - I started. - I used to read. - Yeah, I don't read it. - I'm trying to do that. So funny, I'm buying books to read. - I'm buying books to get to my point. Like fucking needs it. - Yeah, and I'm so ADD now 'cause the phone, I can't read. - I put, you're gonna look back on that like cigarettes. Like holy shit, do you know that you used to smoke cigarettes inside the airplane in restaurants? - Did you charge? - Did everybody get lung cancer? Yeah, dude, it was fun. They put a spastic in some cigarettes. - What are you gonna look about? - It was a tradition that when a baby was born and they gave it to the father, the father would smoke a cigar with a baby there. - Yeah. - Just fucking like, that's my boy. (laughing) And the baby's like, "Hey!" - And he's like, "I have fucking money dying." - But do you charge your phone next to your bed? - No, I have an insomnia psychiatrist. My insomnia got really bad, so I put all the electronics. There's no electronics. - How great is that? - Yeah. - It changes. I started putting my phone in the bathroom to charge. - So at night, when I go to take my fucking pill or whatever, I take charge it, and then I go to bed, 'cause I was waking up on the road, and just at 3 in the morning, just looking at my phone. Every girl updated for the past 10 years. Phone on, all throughout the night, right by their fucking head. I'm like, "Get it out of here." - Dude, this one, I had to-- - I'm crazy. - This one. (barking) - Sorry. - This is a-- (laughing) Mario go kart, fuck it's out of it. I'm like, it's by their head, next to their temple. - I had to tell her to put it on airplane mode. I was like, "Hey, she was just a podcast." - Why do you need it while you're, why do you need it? - I know, I do. - Turn it off. - Turn it off. - Get it out of the fucking room. - I used to be old. - Why don't you need it while you're unconscious? - I used to not have a TV in my room. And I used to sleep better. - I don't have a TV in my room. - It's great. - No fuck, I don't have a TV in my room. - Go in there. - And you just go to sleep. - The bedroom is for sleeping sex. - Yeah. - Are you getting good sleep? - I am now. I had to fucking go with this. I had to work with this insomnia psychiatrist. I had to fucking bat insomnia. - But I think the screen time, mate, I think that we're gonna find a correlation later between screen time and sleep apnea. - Oh, sleep apnea. I got a CPAP machine. - I got a CPAP machine, tracidone, I fucking, I wear the orange glasses. But I think CPAP, I think it helps a lot of people, especially those that are morbidly obese and can't get to like the breath when they're sleeping. But I think a lot of that is gonna wash away in 20 years. Because I got diagnosed with sleep apnea, but he was like, we should get you a CPAP machine. I tried it, I didn't like it. And there are some. I started seeing the charges that I was getting to my insurance, it was like monthly, where they're like, "Hey, you gotta update it. "You gotta fucking do this," and I was gone. This seems like you're just-- - Interesting, you're just trying to get me on the hook. - I will, I was dating the proof was, I was dating this Australian girl, and she's like, when you don't have your fucking CPAP machine, you're snoring, it's like, I'm next to a bloody wholish, like running out of oxygen, and then she goes, "When you have it, "not only do you not snore, "but you're like as still as a fucking baby." - Then that works. - I think they don't move, and I can actually sleep. - 'Cause I think there are people that get that, right? - Bob snores, real bad. - So my dad used to snore, so I thought maybe, "Oh, I fucking snore," or whatever. Tried the CPAP thing, didn't work. Still couldn't sleep, was doing edibles. I was like doing shit that wasn't small. - Yeah, I was doing the same thing. I was like mixing, I would take an edible and Benadryl and fucking, then I got addicted to Xanax to get to sleep and all this stuff. - You're taking like Zequil shit? - Yeah, Zequil. - That's right, I stopped all that shit. - So I used to be like, "Ooh, it's an ad "VilPM," night all the way. - Yeah, all the time. - And I'll take one of those and zonk out. - All the time. - And then I got a fucking white noise machine. - Yeah. - A white noise machine changed the way that I sleep. - Oh, that did it for you. - Dude, I took it on the road, and I plugged it in, and it was working at home, but I was like, the road's the real test. I turned it on, and I took a nap, and I fucking slept for like 45 minutes, I like actually. Like to the point where I woke up, I didn't know where I was. It was like disassociating, 'cause I got such. - That's your shit. - Yeah, I got such deep sleep, and then I turned it off next to me, and I could hear the hallway, and I could hear like the coming and goings, I could hear like the door is open and shutting. - Second, better sleep in a hotel room. - Dude, what about two of us? - Two of us horrible. I stopped, I stopped. - I couldn't do it. - I stopped in the door. - And everyone, all my friends were like, "When I first did, I loved it." I was like, fucking, yeah man, this is fucking rules. - It feels, it does feel rock and roll. - Yeah, I hate it. - I can't. - I can't. - It's like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I know this band, the guy got in a fucking horrendous tour bus accident. The tour bus driver was minceme, the drummer was paralyzed. He thought, like, part of his hand doesn't work anymore, he's a guitar player. - Yeah, see? - So like, I was like, nah, fuck this shit. - That was the Metallica Cliff Burton story. - Yeah. - With like, they were a dead asleep in their bunks. They hit ice in Europe and the fucking bus flipped and it killed Cliff Burton. And you're like, you're like, dude, fuck that. - Yeah. - So Tracy Morgan, same thing in Arty Fuqua. - They were in a Sprinter van. They were in a Mercedes Sprinter van. - Okay. - When I got hit by that Walmart truck, I just know that 'cause of Arty. But they were like, in like a big, one of those giants. - Imagine, Arty only lived 'cause he like walked, the habit of go to the front. Just for like, somebody's like, hey, check out this day, whatever, he like went to the front and he goes, everybody in the back die. - But tour buses, when you're asleep and you're laying down on the tour bus, you hear the treads of the road. - No, I hate it. - That keeps me up. For some people, that's like, it lulls them to sleep. But for me, when I went on a tour, when I went on Birch's tour of that summer and we were on that tour bus for like four weekends in a row, when I could-- - He's rocking the PJs now, though, right? - I mean, dude, he's got, I think so. This was two years ago and it was like, me, a tell, big J, the Rosa, a bunch of people were on the tour. Everyone was like, I can't wait for the tour bus 'cause I can sleep better. I wouldn't sleep all night, and then we would park and I would fucking fall asleep. So everyone would be getting up and I'd be like, dude, I'm just falling asleep. 'Cause I'd hear like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I'm like, what is that? But it's just him changing lanes or something. - No, I hate it. I hate it. - I hate it. - I hate it. - That's crazy, 'cause it does make me feel nuts. - I weirdly loved it at first and got perfect sleep. - Really? - Like the first year we did it. Yeah, I did it when I was like 28, 29. - And loved it. - And then I went back to it and I fucking hated it. Something changed. I hate, I aged. - Are you having a hard time finding comics to do your bombing podcast? Like are there people that don't want to talk about it? Or all comics, all comics want to talk about it. - Comics love talking. - Yeah. - We also love talking about it being embarrassed. - Yeah, yeah. - Where you're like, I might not-- - Also, it's not just comics. I have anybody, like, I've had chefs on, musicians. - What about chefs bomb? - Just a horrible gig, a restaurant fails. It's a fucking biff and it's a show about failure. - Yeah. - Trials and tribulations. - I love that. - But it's not like-- - A chef failing, they're coming back and being like, it's food poisoning. A chef failing. - Yeah, well, we had Roy Chon. He was just talking about how he's been badly burned. - Jesus. - And sliced up and he would get so nervous. He went to this, like, Japanese culinary school and he got so nervous that his nose started bleeding on the food. - Oh my God. - He got first drop. - Where you're like there? - You see, you know, 'cause anybody has ever had a nose bleeding. You notice it, 'cause it drops. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he was like, "Brew fuck." - Where he'd be like, fuck, fuck. - What the fuck? And in the movie, that always means you're about to die a cancer. Whenever they show that, they go, "Well, what is that?" And then they cut to the detective leaving his wife's funeral. But if it happened in a culinary setting, that would probably fuck me up. - Yeah. - I'd be like, "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." - Yeah, and it would be worse 'cause then you're freaking out. - 'Cause when you freak out, when you bomb, it always makes it worse. - I've done it so many times, when I've been like, "What's wrong? "You guys don't fucking like it?" And then they're like, "No, now we really don't like it." - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We were acting cool, but now, "Fuck, actively fuck you." - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you're like, "Damn it." - I've had one where he's like, I saw something that I've never heard. I don't know the comic's name, but a comic bomb that stands so hard recently that he didn't get applause when he left the stage. - Yeah, I didn't, I didn't. - Atts. - I think that might have been me. (laughing) - But that's a level of bombing where you're like, "That's." - No, it sticks to your ribs. - Yeah, you can't make eye contact with people afterwards. - I bombed at Stand Up New York one time, doing a check spot so bad. - Yeah, it doesn't count, a check spot bombing. - Yeah, tell it. - It feels like, it feels like it really does. - It feels like it counts, but you can't, people are literally distracted, not paying attention. You're saying. - It didn't matter, I fucking ate it, and I went outside and called it. - Socks. - The girl I was dating, I called her at the time, and I don't know if I want to do this anymore. - No. - Who's that going of those? Are you getting whipped so bad that you go? I don't feel so good, you can pick me up. It's calling your mom 'cause you puked. (laughing) You can get me, I'm sick. (laughing) That's how I felt. It was like, fuck that. Dude, I appreciate you coming by here, man. - Yeah, thanks man. - No, thanks have me. - What's the premise of your podcast? - Nothing. - It's this. (laughing) - It's premise-less. (laughing) But you know what's funny? It's a stop-rosis podcast, two nights ago. And it's just like this, we're in this apartment and we're just fucking bullshitting. And then, like, he had a caller call in and it was like, it was like, she was like, my boyfriend only likes fucking me in the ass and he never eats my pussy. I was like, stop it, what's the fucking premise of your podcast? - Well, do you want to stop? That's what it is that he was like, fuck it. Call in or whatever. 'Cause for me, it's like- - Call in for advice is funny from him 'cause it's like, I don't like him, like. - It'd be like, eat a pussy more. (laughing) My professional diagnosis is, much more box. He's like a hundred of stumps and you're like, "Can you feel that, Toro?" - Yeah, he's got nothing. - He's Oscar O'Costa. - He's like, I'll tell you what you do. Take a machete there. - Yeah, as you're lawyer, we need five ounces of cocaine. - Yeah, but mine was like, you know how many people you cut out when they go, like, what's your premise when you go, "Ah, it's gonna hang out with comics in my office." And they go, "Well, don't you, you don't need producers for that." - Not me and Mike got it. And then they're like, like, I'm a fan of yours, so I have people on that I like that I'm like, oh, I fuck with this person. And then I just hope people that, you know, most people that are watching this know you. - Kevin Hart had me on his podcast and I was like, halfway through, I was like, this guy clearly hates me. Like, see that's, I go, does he know that I was booked today? I think I asked him. I was like, did you book me? I don't, like. I don't think you want me here. - Whenever I have that, I go, I've never had that because it's all people that it's like, - Yeah, why would you, why would you? - I just, well, Kevin Hart's a machine. So he's just like, - Yeah, he's got a great guy. - This guy just, bam, he's famous. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow, what are we doing? I'm Kevin Hart, and it's like, - Yeah, he looked at me like this, like, the whole time he's like, I've done a couple of years, you get your start. I was like, I don't wanna have to, I can go, we don't have to be here. - You know what's funny to us? - That was, that was morning radio for me on the road for a lot of my career worse. - You go in and they go like, why are you here? - The last time I did terrestrial radio, I was like doing a bunch in a row, and I just fucking, I go, I'll be right back, I gotta go use a restroom, and I just hung up on the Zoom, my compass is like blending up like, you got like 10 more, I go, there's no point. - There's no point. - There's no point. - I go, well, you're gonna like burn a bridge, I go with like, Kate, Kate, see fucking CW, and Cincinnati? I don't care. - Zoom zoom in the butt. - I'll grab the carousine. - But there are, you know what's funny about that is the relationships I still do have with the morning radio that I know, like Preston and Steve and Philly, they're my favorite, is they were always super cool to me when I was headlining like a Wednesday, and they'd go, come in, promote your show, and you guys don't have to do this for me. And they'd be like, no, it'll get people when I'm selling 16 tickets to me, but I was like, these people don't know who I am, their audience doesn't know who I am, I don't listen to terrestrial radio, but they're coming to my show, does so. But there's that, I've got the ones that were like, rude, where they're like, why are you here? And you're like, 'cause you have a relationship with the club, and the club's making me do this. I don't wanna fucking do this, but like, famous people-- - Yeah, they get up so fucking goddamn early. - Yeah, like yours is something, mine, you know, probably should have been four wards just gonna sit on my fucking couch where I play video games and talk, but yours has a premise where it's understandable where you go, you know, go in, and then you're like, I'm ready to talk about this. Yeah, and but like I also cheat on the premise of mine all the fucking time So sure, you know, it's it's really just an excuse to hang out Cuz that's all you want to do like dude I'm honestly would have never walked in here. You make so much more sense to me now knowing you came from a punk rock Kind of like beginning that I go Okay, you make so much more sense to me now that I know you did PCP a few weeks ago And in a totally awesome way fuck yeah, it's context. Yeah, it just puts in it Like you didn't know that I grew up with booze bag parents now that I fucking I thought you were still hitting the fucking sauce See what I mean, but I got that the baritone. Yeah, that voice. It sounds like you who's got the divorce my mom When you Sound like it's like a whiskey drinking my mom had a deep voice, okay, my dad had a regular voice my mom's like how are you doing? Jennerino's your mom. Can I tell you this and I swear to God this is real my friends from high school would tell you this I was raised, you know, my mom was a single mom. So we we I'm an only child. Yeah, she kind of go out each other a lot Yeah, yeah, when I would shit talk her to my friends. Yeah, it was the will Ferrell Jennerina That was the impression I do where I go play that song like that was my impression for my mom growing up When I was being a little shitty teenage I'd be like hey, dude you didn't That was absolutely my impressive So he said watch Eric Andre's podcast listen to it download the artists in the feed. Yeah, subscribe That is subscribe to the bombing fucking check it out check out bomber. They're right radio also watch all Of the Eric Andre show because it he put if you dare dude. It's the situations you did me and Big J used to watch that Shit, so this is the best yeah, I remember texting Hannibal when you put season one out I just was like texting him doc chicken doc chicken. Yeah, and I was like, okay, man But I was like it was the first one of the first things that someone I knew made something that I was like Oh, I fuck with this not because I just know them Oh, because I genuinely like and I remember that it was yeah the last time I did That's time I did the podcast it was with big J Yeah, well, I did the series XM show you guys had that show. Yeah, that's the last time I did Yeah, that was seriously and they said like the nicest thing to me, which was Because I've never seen somebody stand up translate directly into their TV show. Yeah, more Directly than than what you were doing in New York before you did the show. Oh, that was like the sweetest But it also is like even what you were just saying where it felt like you go. Oh, this is the avenue I can do this here even from the introductions from you fucking with the band from Hannibal's entire character Yeah, where you filmed it in Brooklyn how it was shot. Yeah, that fucking That public access vibe. Yeah, yeah, but then you're having celebrities that you're bringing on that you are making fun of Sometimes and sometimes with yeah, like the Tatiana Ali. There's like there's like moments where you go man This is the most Eric Andre shit. No one can Eric Andre like Eric And I think that's like I mean that in like the the highest way possible. I think that's like I've As a fan of comedy I like finding nothing more than someone hit their stride in a way that you go This is exactly there. I think that's who you are and it's like great That's what I said. I'm glad you came on because the punk rock and the PCB thing. Yeah, yeah, they can all make a lot more sense Yeah, yeah, yeah, it just gives it a lot more like so check it out. Yeah, yeah, cool. Thanks You You