Pauly Shore Shocks Matan and Comes Out as G*y

Hello everybody welcome back to the podcast for today's guest we have Paulie Shore welcome in also I just gave friend and he's dog yeah yeah no I didn't happen I'm cutting it out oh you gonna cut that part out the dogs trying to go somewhere that's my dog get him away from my crush yeah that's fine for today's co-host we have Mike welcoming Mike no she bringing more and more out at the same time with me yeah I can sit down now okay thanks I feel like I'm on trial deal with the fuck's going on yeah can you pull the mic as close to your mouth as possible yeah like that feels like this is a I'll be heading video or something so I'm scared that you're gonna chop her heads off the only your dog maybe whoa whoa whoa whoa that's buster that's not buster for me so I'm hungry okay here you go thank you for having me yeah you're welcome yeah yeah okay so can you pull the mic close to your mouth and then introduce yourself to anybody who might not know you in all that one okay my name is Paulie I'm an actor comedian it's Halloween time hence the outfit and I brought my barista from West Hollywood Starbucks because he has stuff to promote as well and I'm trying to be a giver and his name's M.W.R. and M.W.R so can you introduce in case anybody doesn't know what a gay person is a gay person is anyone that's attracted to the same sex that's what you think that's a good thing or a bad thing I think it's a good thing a good thing so not even neutral it's good no it's it's good for me it's good you don't believe you should be punished no no to be punished it means to feel you've done something wrong well maybe you don't believe you've done something wrong because you have that disorder but I'm saying normal people disorder that's how he was born and raised you've always been gay correct correct yeah the second you were born you're like ah right right but I think the people order a subjective no not subjective no I'm sure I'm sure a bipolar schizophrenic would say that it's subjective as well it doesn't mean a subjective though and everybody uses this point about gay people to say well it's natural these male animals have sex with each other all the time it doesn't mean it's okay they also have sex with their mothers some time as well oh oh this is starting up good I'm sorry for being here I just trying to promote your stuff I'm just confused sorry he's trying to put together a movie so okay wait were you saying that you identify as an animal no I'm saying people always say the gay people are natural so there's nothing wrong with it but no because it happens with animals in the wild but animals in the wild also have shit with their mother sometimes which doesn't make it okay right I was using just another example of thinking that our natural button should not be allowed should be punished by by death of stones death of stones got it it's a good thing that you're not running for congress sir did you bring this guy here to agitate me maybe in about a hundred years I'm I'm agitating you yeah oh that was a lack of shampoo my hair no look at his hair look at my hair it's beautiful can you go like this so we could see it look how gorgeous at it now you do it looks like a girl from behind from behind he looks like a girl but then some people will argue that I look like a girl from the front too oh what do you think oh can you do it can I see you do that can you shake here quiet gay quiet gay oh my god dude not good wait someone the blood sugar is low all right well well they're my close to you we'll involve you in some of the questions but primarily there for him of course of course has anybody ever told you that you look like a pe. no they have not I don't think it's as well represented because you have the glasses and the hair on right but usually you look like a massive creep okay does anybody mention that to you before um no not necessarily my dog I have a dog seems buster so yeah I mean probably more so than the average person but are not known for doing stuff with their dogs okay well I'm just I brought my dog and my gay friend so I don't know what what that's supposed to mean so is that is that for his movie later for whose movie no did you know the Brad Pitt got a new movie out called the beast what's it called the beast right yeah yeah the beast so we might that's you know it's kind of like I'm trying to kind of go through that situation you're saying he's the beast or he's the beast no you're the beast no Brad Pitt's got the beast movie and I have a dog can I can I bring the dog out for a sucker the dogs right here I know but he the audience can see the dog the audience can see the dog can they see him can you see Mike can you see the dog okay cool perfect okay and his movie the Brad Pitt is making what is it I feel my about mr beast no it's it's me and the beat what's it called it's called the beast but it's Brad Pitt and it's basically him and a dog he's about Mr. Beast he's rise to fame no no it has nothing to do with mr it's his it's his it's his relationship with the dog yeah it's a fun movie it's great like you know the dogs are dog you know I have a dog dogs are a man's best friend it's Brad's pretty going listen mr. Beast doesn't do anything wrong I did you guys think he's some sort of white savior but at the end of the day it's better that he gives these Africans shit instead of not giving them anything and the only way I'm gonna make money is by publishing it anyway so be thankful that something's happening as opposed to nothing is that what the movie's about that's what Brad Pitt is saying now no wonder he cheated on his wife okay um can my friend promote his no he wants to promote how to how to build how to do a film remember he didn't know he's promoting no you said how to make it's not we're not promoting on this on this show no you said how to do I don't do that anymore you used to do that that was the joke you don't remember that you used to do yeah you were one of the top subscribers well when I was a child probably that doesn't make you uncomfortable that if you were doing your implication is that that's why it stopped that's why it stopped that's the reason you stopped yes okay I couldn't so high highly it's about to do the pitch deck like you asked me remember well no no no no I asked you what does a pitch entail and what does that look like right for when I was actually pitching it and so can we pitch it now no because there's a lot a lot of followers right yeah a lot of a lot of big music movie executives watch you right yeah well something a lot better more he yes a great movie I probably a bunch of young neo not he's watching this show okay well maybe neo not watching your show really yeah pitch on your movie idea yeah you're gonna tell him the idea come on because they might want they might want to get it you don't know yeah but yeah I think it's following up he doesn't have any confidence he's never gonna get anything done like this he brought him not on this show he brought you here to the show to promote this is a great show he doesn't want to be made fun of so he brought a bigger clown than himself he won't even use it to your benefit no look at the art direction here in the in the beautiful you know any me set design set design how would you do this would you say about the art direction I think it's amazing you can't threaten buster not the dog oh the dog what are you talking about is that what he wanted to kill yeah what are you talking about well that's what he said let's move on okay move on it's for you but because I know the answer with him already would you have s**t with a 12 year old to save the universe I don't think so no so the universe will end this 12 year old yeah and here's the thing you have to consider will die is it worse to be your s**t and and by the way we never said he didn't consent so it's statutory at best or the guy will die for sure along with his whole family and we didn't even specify I don't know why I'm saying him it could be a woman a grown woman yeah still probably not why but because then we're going to I'll go to be blown to smithereens anyways so it doesn't really matter because we're all this whole world going to put anyways what are you what are you talking about we're all I mean the craters everything is right it's all going to be blown up anyways yeah so why not just yeah just some sort of religious thing are you in some sort of group where you guys are all gonna keep yourselves in a little bit or I'm not really getting where this is going I'm just saying that at some point you know the world's flat and the whole the the neurosis of everything is just gonna come crumbling down and that's the opening soon yes that's gonna happen pretty soon so then so then probably like in november sometime if the world's ending in november in the meantime can I enjoy the last little segment of my life by king and to your dog I don't think the world's ending in november yes it's a fact mr. B said it yes no movie with Brad Pitt yes and so you want to keep my dog before them yeah I don't think that I don't think that would work I mean he's you know I mean by the way dog I'm just joking for youtube terms of service yeah he's now he's smiling Yeah, no he's he's a good dog. He wouldn't want to do that. He's gonna die anyways. I want to expedite it for him No, he's not gonna die nice I'm happy you came to do the podcast. I told you he's fun. Yes, his friends really fantastic as well Is it true that sitting in a room with a machine blasting ionizing radiation at you for 12 plus hours a day can cause skin cancer? Is it true sitting in a room with me every day with We didn't understand that Radiation blast go on ionizing radiation blasting at you for 12 plus hours a day. Okay, wait, wait, okay That okay, one thing at a time. So the skin's blasting with eye and eye radiation correct? Yeah something like that Okay, no to your dog is a test subject. You said that we're gonna send it. We're gonna send him in in a rocket ship to see if he's how long he can survive and then Weird out of touch children but you said you're gonna up will draw pictures of your dog as if he's some sort of hero But not only is he dead so he can't comprehend it even if he was alive He wouldn't be able to comprehend it because he's a dog whose brain was ripped out by me Hmm, but you said you weren't gonna do that about two minutes ago You said you're gonna leave the dog alone now you're changing it back. I'm just kidding. This is the hollow hollow Halloween special No, we just we already did that. Oh, okay, so I don't know You never answered my question. I Don't know the question. It's something about radiation Blasting you for 12 hours right will you get cancer or become mr. Manhattan? I Well, it's a mr. Manhattan. I'd say mr. I'd say mr. Manhattan mr. Beast mr. Beast So if you if you spray ionizing radiation and you for 12 plus hours a day you'll become mr. Beast I don't know who mr. Beast is Jimmy Beast from Jimmy foundation mr. Beast Wow, that guy's great. Yeah, yeah, that guy's great. I don't know man. I think you should ask your friend mr. Beast no It's a little inconsiderate that you brought a water for yourself, but not for your dog Well, you know Still early in the show were you dressed up as by the way? I Don't know I don't really have it's not really any it's not really called me Cardney no, I mean It's not really anyone In particular I just know you just bought random stuff at a costume store. No, this was just lying around my house And I said I grabbed it I wore this on kill Tony this I had this And I have my suit on and this was given to me and my glasses from a friend So I just put it together for you. I see hey guys are for the interruption Have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by ethos ethos makes getting life insurance fast and easy 100% online when my good-body Mike's father died He did not have life insurance active so when he was turned into a pile of paste It really badly affected Mike's family as they lost their house and you should not make the same mistake if you don't trust me Ethos has a 4.9 out of five star rating on transpile it with over 55 hundred reviews The guy who gave it a lower star is a Shit with ethos you can get a quote in seconds apply and minute and get same day coverage So you'll never have to worry about dying again take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through ethos Give your free quote today at ethos.com/maton that's ethos.com/maton spells ETHOS.com/MATAN Application times may vary rates may vary transpiler rating as of age slash one 2026 Give your free quote today at ethos.com/maton. Thank you to ethos for sponsoring today's episode Don't you hate it when you ask for a coffee, but they accidentally give you a tea like man I asked for a coffee human. I'm also a human by the way I don't know if that's a question. What I mean, you should probably answer this because you work at your breweries I'm also a human and I have that experience You asked for a coffee and you're given a tea. Yeah Right man, I'm from earth Must be hard. I haven't been accused of any crimes I'm a well put citizen. I'm a well put together citizen. I'm a well put citizen. Hmm Take the mic away from this guy's gay nothing. He says matters or has any value. He's evil He's just lying to us. He's gonna say stuff to trick us. No, no, he's a sweetheart. We like him. The whole point of him living is to destroy us He was sent here to kill us to destroy us from the inside. Why do you think the world is ending in November? You're wrecked rectum from the inside. What about that? That's horrible. That's horrible. Well, that's the whole point I'm making That's what he's gonna do to you. You should have asked you the question about the 12-year-old. Would you do it? No, you'd let the world get destroyed. Yes, you would do it for free. You'd pay to do it. Give me a break Yeah, you would. Yeah, you would Yes, you would Listen, if I did it, I'd be loud and proud. There's I'd have no shame in it No, I'm not I'm loud and proud about things that are unpopular like me wanting to Turn his dog into a vegetable, okay? If I was a I'd be loud and proud about it too. Well, that's something I would say It's not but a guy who wants to turn a dog into a vegetable would not say that out loud An honest an honest aboo say normalize it just say Now I can't be a pet anyways. I'm 19 now What? Can I give can I give my dog some water? You're gonna just pour water on his head? Well, I mean do you have a ball or something around here? I don't have a dog bowl in my studio. No You can pour water in his nose though. Maybe just like a plastic cup or something Why when did I say water board is dog? Yeah, so he can breathe he's trying to kill my dog. He said he tried to kill my dog twice That's not what one boy twice water boardings when you're going to the ocean and you're on one of those things and you're riding a wave Do you shit in your garden to help the plants grow? That wasn't a question for you gay So as of some sort of a fertilizer, you mean yes exactly like no, but I think that's a pretty good idea It is a good idea to save money on manure. Yeah, just cow shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll write that down. Can you write that down? You think he's calling you a cow No, he's basically saying that instead of shitting in a toilet You shit and you save it and you put it in the flower bed You tell him if because I'm not communicating too many more directly You're gonna be working as a middleman tell him that if he keeps talking and I ever go through a bad day And I'm gonna take my life. I'm taking him with me first. Oh, wow. Is that a promise? Just make sure you do it before the first So just let him know that let him know not to not to talk to him anymore. He's making me crazy Put your fucking seatbelt on Why do you think most comedians are in fact exceptionally unfunny? Comedy is a tough tough one, but wouldn't you think that these guys who are trying to be funny would be funny like I'm a business man I'm extremely good at business. I'm not bad at it. Or I would call myself a bad at business man. Mm-hmm I don't know everyone's Everyone's trying, you know what I mean? Everyone's trying and just because they're trying doesn't mean that they're gonna be good But it means that most of them should probably give up Um, if everybody was successful in their dreams They would have different dreams because then they wouldn't be important anymore if everybody was important Well, it took Rodney Dangerfield till his sixties to make it so something he's not he's not alive So then what does it matter anyway? Because when he made it he made he made it he made it pretty big, but he made it late in life So I don't know some of these kids that are working out their stuff. He's fucking with me. He's in my shot He's blocking your shot, Matan. What do we do? What are we watching or saying? I'm gonna deal with him later. All I'm saying is that You know sometimes if you put your heart into things sometimes Things work out differently. You just never know if you just keep trying and you keep trying, you know And you don't want to pitch your show idea here. Are you sure you can always try to show it to me or the pit? Yeah, the movie can you just put the movie? What's the movie about? It's about a starving artist having **** with a man while he's hanging upside down in a motel room I mean that sounds like a this movie I would watch. I know that's the problem. They already made it though It's called he derivory, but no my show is about a Broadway That's a microwave It's about a Broadway actor who's starving books a show and then gets blacklisted and has to claw his way from home It's back to go slower slower not so don't just make it a throw away do it slow like you know what can you stand there? (laughing) - Please for me, please just act it out. I'm more pleased. - It's about a Broadway show. - It's about a Broadway show, uh? - Wait, what, go on, Broadway show. And one of the ensemble dancers get blacklisted from a producer because he did not give in to the s*** of answers. And that's my, and then-- - This guy's just fantasizing about things. (laughing) - About being s**t you insulted? - Yeah, it's exactly what you're fantasizing about. - I mean, that is a fetish, you know. - Represented, represented well because you're writing scripts about it. It's not like I'm just making a random guess here. - I'm gonna finish this pitch. - Oh, fuck, you'll finish your pitch. - Okay. - So. - It's gonna be a big break. - Yeah, and then he can think of it. - Yeah. - You said that sometimes people don't get a shot. Maybe this is his shot. You know, I see him every day. - No, I said that most comedians are unfunny. - Yeah, but you still said that people should give up. You know, well, he should. - Well, he should. Maybe-- - He should give up. - No, maybe he's got a dream and he's hoping he's a very beautiful soul, you know what I mean? So, why don't we let him finish this pitch? - I'm glad. - So it's about a man starting over. - So it's about a man who finally gets his big break in a Broadway show. - That's the first part. - And then-- - So he's doing a Broadway show. So he's been working really hard. - And he finally-- - Was this, did you, was this the idea for today? - You're gonna prank me by bringing in a lunatic artist? - No, he's my friend and this is a big platform. He's my friend and this is a big platform for him. So I wanna support other starving artists. - Even if this platform gets a lot of views on YouTube and short-form clips on TikTok, does not mean this is going to get him any closer to making this movie. It's probably getting you further and further away the more you speak about it. - You don't know, you haven't finished though. You haven't, you haven't let him finish. - 'Cause the kids are repeating the same part of it. - So that's 'cause you gotta slow down when you pitch this. - Oh, yeah, fucking get 'em. (laughing) - I'm glad. - He gets blacklisted, be a, he gets taken in by-- - Oh, I slowed down, he gets the break. - He gets the break, and then he gets blacklisted. - Then he gets blacklisted after not giving in to the advances of a producer. And then he has to go back to New York City, pound the pavement, nothing comes of it. He has to move out of his apartment and into an abroom with a woman named Sherrell. And I-- - Why does her name being Sherrell? Why was I mentioned, is that important? - Maybe it's someone who wants to be here. - Well, I mean, well, no, it's not somebody close with me. So that, I mean, it's just the name of the character. - You're not confident at all the world. - He's a huge pitch. - Well, I'm not confident pitching it. - No, this is good, this is good. - But, Holly is, I have a much better idea for a movie. Let's go. - He's finished, are you finished? - No, so he moves in, he moves in with her, he makes a great connection with her. - What's the name again? - Sherrell. - Thank you for asking. Her name is Sherrell. They live together, she's by touch your body, really. - Of course. (laughing) I'm gonna touch your body. I'm gonna touch you, and look at Maton, one sec. - Okay, go on, I'm looking at you, go on. - It's soft. So, she passes away, unfortunately, and then he ends up succumbing to his addiction and he becomes homeless. You said, get him radiation. - Finish Roger, sir. - What is with you and radiation? - Finish, finish, finish, finish. - Quickly, hurry up. He becomes homeless, he clauses way back to working and becoming a normal citizen to society. And he pens an idea for a script about his life. So, instead of him being the star at the end of a film, he ends up painting a story for somebody else to have the chance to become a star. (clapping) Because things evolve differently. - I have a much better idea for a movie. - Let's go, let's hear it. - It's a half real, half scripted thing, so some people are in on it, some people aren't. I'll get a director, and we'll go. I'll try to find somebody that I don't like. A guy who works at a (bleep) in West Hollywood, and I'm gonna rip him apart. I'm gonna sell it to Netflix. - That could be good too. - And then in 30 years, you'll do another version of it. - Well, that could be good too. - Well, somebody plays me. - That's good too. See, this is what I'm saying. We're just, we're spitballing. We have different ideas. Maybe it should come up with an idea for a dog, 'cause the dogs right there, he probably, come up with that as well. - Soup. - Soup. - Soup, soup. - Yeah. - Cool. I like that idea. - Thanks, Polly. - Hey guys, start with the interruption. Have to let you know that today's episode is sponsored by Prize Peaks. The NBA is back this season on Prize Peaks. Pick a shootout in the West or a board's battle in the East. Prize Peaks is available nationwide. I'm all in on the LA Lakers and look at Don Chitch. Hopefully he doesn't pretend to have an injury because he's about to shit his pants. Did you know that Prize Peaks has your back when other apps don't? If one of your players gets injured in the first half and doesn't return, your lineup can still catch because they invented the injury reboot. Not that guy flying squirrel, shout out to flying squirrel. Who the fuck is flying squirrel? Flying squirrel did not invent the injury reboot. It was Prize Peaks. It was not flying squirrel. Son, I'm a bitch flying squirrel. He's a liar. He keeps trying to take credit for the injury reboot which was invented by Prize Peaks because they have your back when others don't unlike flying squirrel. Download the Prize Peaks app today and use my code Maton M-A-T-A-N to get $150 in lineups for free if you win your first $5 lineup. That's code Maton M-A-T-A-N to get $150 for free in lineups if you win your first $5 lineup. That's the Prize Peaks app, not the flying squirrel app. Then get a Prize Peaks for sponsoring today's episode, shout out flying squirrel. Would you be more concerned if your 11-year-old son was obsessed with Barbie dolls or trains? - Say that one, say that one more time. - Would you be more concerned if your 11-year-old son was obsessed with Barbie dolls or trains? - What if my son was-- - No, I didn't ask what if your son was obsessed with something else. I asked this. - No, I was going to say since my friend's gay, what if my son was gay? So it could be like, what if your gay son-- - That's implicit. - Your gay son. - That's implicit. - That's implicit. - Oh, that's already in the thing? - Yeah, he's obsessed with either Barbie dolls or trains. What's more concerning? - Well. Probably trains. - Trains? - Yeah. - Despite my old school religious views on these gay people that have got out of control, I agree, trains is more concerning. - Yeah. - How much money do you have in your checking account? - I haven't checked. - You very rich. - Can you check real quick? - I haven't checked. - Can you take a look at it on the phone? There's a mobile app. - I think like $8,900. - You have $8,900. - Yeah, last time I checked, yes. - I would expect you to have more. You've been in the Los Angeles area. - I am. - Successfully for a long time. - I've made some lot of bad investments. And I've given Andy Dick a lot of my money as well, so. - Yeah. - I should have killed him when I had the chance. - Was he here? - Should have put him out of his misery. - Was he, was Andy here? - Yeah. - He was. - He was here. - Oh wow. Did he bring his barista from WeHo with him? - No, you kind of look like him. - Like Andy? - Kind of a little bit. - Yeah. - You actually do have a similar face shape. - Oh wow. - I just said something really bad about my mother. - Wow. - He loves his mother. That's a good son. - Right. - He didn't clap because he doesn't love his mother, is that true? - Yeah. - De-ranged. - Freak. - You wanna touch his body? - I'll, I'll, I'll go into a fight before I'm forced to do that. - I don't think he likes touching his own body, so. Let alone my- - What does that even mean? What does that even mean? What was the implication with that? - You're fully clothed and you look like you just don't and- - Do you think most people are doing, he's fully clothed for the most part? - No. - For the most part. He's fully clothed. Most people are fully clothed. - I know. - Do you dig holes to bury your food so nobody can take it from you? - Do I dig holes to bury my food so no one can take it from me? What do you dig holes to bury my food so no one can take it from me? - You are married? - No, not an obese person, that extremely small bug. It's a little cute by the way, the bug rolls around, Rolly Polly, bug. - Well, if she went and got some help at a therapist and- - A couple of therapy? - Yeah, and she apologized for it and she basically came back to me and said, "Hey, I got a lot of you. of mental issues and I'm so sorry, but I want you back. And it was just kind of like a mishap then I would definitely take her back. But-- - Would the Rolly Polly be in the couple's therapy too? And what if he was an employee of your wife? So he had a workplace dynamic over her. It's even worse. The Rolly Polly may do a lawsuit now. - Well, it depends on-- - And you're married, so it's your assets that are involved and that's take you to-- - That's a good question. - It just depends on-- it depends on what the-- - You find a lawyer, a good lawyer. He's working with Alan Dershowitz. - Yeah, but it just depends on-- It depends on if the Rolly Polly had a-- It depends on if the Rolly Polly had an epiphany as well. - It's a bug. The bug cannot speak. It's more than likely that these people-- these bugs don't even have an ounce of consciousness. An animal, a bug that's small, probably is barely even able to work off instinct. - What is able to have that? - Shut up. - The question was directed to me, correct? - Yeah. - And so what's the question again? - If you'd leave your wife, if she cheated on you with the Rolly Polly, the question is now evolved to the Rolly Polly working with Alan Dershowitz to sue you for a workplace dynamic situation because he was an employee of your wife when they had s---s. - I think we're gonna have to come back to that one. - Oh, we'll come back in a little bit. - Yeah, come back to that one, thanks. - With Amazon Grocery, you can finally spend less on all the people you love. - Is that a brand plug right there? - At what point do you think you'll end your life? - I think my life will, will just end when it's supposed to end. - You won't do it. Will you end it sooner than later? - No, when Allah, when Allah from above, tells me it's time to go-- - You're a Muslim, you're religious? - Sometimes. - Sometimes? That's not really how it works, I don't think. - Well, you know, I like to dip my toe in different things. So, does that make sense? - No. - Well, sometimes you're like, you know, like I'm bisexual. - You're bisexual? - Correct. - Aye, aye, aye. - What's wrong with that? - Yeah, what's wrong? - Yeah, come on, dude. - What's wrong with bisexuality? - Oh. - Don't fucking touch me. - Master. - So you should fucking go-- - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - We'll whip your brand apart. - He's gonna turn you into soup. But back on the topic, what's wrong with bisexuality? - Give him the mic back and close your fucking mouth for I close it for you. - How would you do that? - I'm putting his (beep) in it. - No, no, no. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what you said to me off camera. You said when your friend comes, tell him, I saw his Instagram and I like to put my (beep) in his mouth is what you said. - Hold on, we gotta go to the next question. I have a good one here. - Please, no. - Thank you. - Did you know Warren Buffett? - Wow. - No fucking touch me. I told you I'll hit you if you do. And then if he gets involved and tries defending you, I'm gonna rip his head off. - And then he'll suck your (beep) - No, I'm gonna kill him. And I'll be able to finally claim it as self-defense. - He just sweated a lot. - No, no, no, no, I told you. - I'm gonna go after you. - I'm gonna suck his (beep) - Coming after you first. - Not Buster, Buster's my dog. I'm gonna bust his head apart. - No, he's a son. - I'm gonna bust your head into a wall. - No. - Buster soup. - No, look how cutie is. - I'm gonna turn him into a sandwich. Okay. Did you know Warren Buffett changes his McDonald's breakfast depending on the stock market? If the market is down, he orders two sausage patties. If it's flat, he gets a sausage egg and cheese biscuit. If it's up, he gets a bacon egg and cheese biscuit. - So what's the question? - Did you know that? - Yes, I did know that. - Have you met Warren? - Yes, I have. - Okay, nice. - Yeah, he's a nice guy. Nice man. - And how many people have restraining orders against you? - No one. - Not one? What about you? At least a couple of them. A better question for you is how many people get restraining all orders on you per year? - I don't think any, right? - Restoring orders against me are none of my business. - What? - They're none of my business. - They're none of your business? It's completely your business. You're the most important person involved in a restraining order against you, tied with the person who got it against you. - So I wouldn't have knowledge of this. - I hope this guy, it (beep) I hope this guy-- - You don't have to answer a maton if you don't want to. You can just say I plead the fifth. - Hope this guy's inputting his fluids and shit like that in the coffees is making a (beep) - Wouldn't that be special? - It'd be horrible, that'd be a big fucking crime. - Okay, well, you don't go to the (beep) in West Hollywood, anyways. - That's true. - Now I've never well (laughs) - Micah, you okay, you falling asleep back there? Okay, makes good. - Is your role in the comedy community much like the kid in elementary school whose father owned a Lamborghini? - I would have to say that my roots in the comedy world are pretty deep. - Napatisa maybe, would you say that? - You could say that, but, you know. - I'm gonna get a necromancer to turn you into dust, you piece of trash. - Sorry about that, lost control of my behavior. - It's okay, it's okay. - I'm glad. - I love people, I love what I do. I love bringing joy to people. So whether I came from where I came from or I came from El Salvador. Do you like El Salvador? - No. - You have a problem with El Salvador? - It's just a fucking, not a nice place to live. What is it? - Yeah. - You wanna live there? - Yeah. - In El Salvador, they got some great guacamole there. So if you ever go down there, you wanna have some guacamole, some parsley, some chips, and maybe some pork rinds, I think you would enjoy yourself down there. It's beautiful. - Buster soup. - Buster soup. - Buster soup. This is going good, by the way. - Would you consider changing the name from the comedy store to the log next store? - The what? - The log next store. You'll sell plushies of Instagram. - Oh, the log next store. - Long neck. - Oh, the long neck store. - You'll sell plushies of Instagram superstar long neck. - I think that's a good idea. - Okay. - Yes, I think it's having the long neck store. - The long neck store. - Yeah, yeah, you just have a long neck. - No, you'll sell plushies. It's a guy. This isn't a bunch of different people with long neck. There's one particular guy who I'm gonna be filming with in a couple of minutes named Long neck. He's an Instagram superstar with over 70 million followers. Where is he? - He's in the lobby. - Oh, we love him. - We love him? - Yeah, yeah. I remember him. He was on our show once. - Long neck, did you show? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That disgusting fucking freak. - Yeah. - What are you doing, bro? Just trying to grab some water. - Well, that's it anyways. We have to film with long neck now. - Where is he? - He's in the lobby. - He's the best. - Well, I guess I'll find out. You better say your goodbyes, motherfucker. That's it. - You don't wanna ask my friend any more questions? - You said you had any more questions? - No, do you wanna ask my friend any more questions? I'd like to promote him. - You wanna promote him? - Yeah, this he's never been on a podcast before. - Well, you already mentioned that to him and he doesn't seem to have much he wants to promote. He has an idea for a script that he doesn't even know how to portray the people. Get your barest one, he's asked about it. - I thought he did. - Because he's a pilot, trash. - I thought he did a good job. - No, you don't get to ask me questions. You're beneath me. - Type one or type two. - Yeah. - Diabetes? - Diabetes, yeah. - I've typed, I don't know neither. I don't have diabetes. - And you know what, I think he should leave. Matan should leave and we should interview long neck. - I mean, yeah. - I feel like he would be more comfortable, but. - Yeah, with us. - Because we bring love and sweetness. - Do you want to interview long neck? - Yes. - All right, so I'll take your dog and we'll, we'll, you got to do that. - Yeah, you go, and then I'll take. - Yeah, you hear my time, my time. - Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. - My time. - You got so much fun.