Pauly Shore and The Miracle Scan

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I hope I suck your fat. Hey, hi, man, there he is. Greet everyone right now, dude. How's it going, bud? Give me a real hug. Huh? You have some sloppy Joe on your shirt. Yeah. What's going on there? Give me your bud. Give me a hug. Good to see you. Happy birthday, dude. Sit down. I'm recording. Okay. Go over there. Wow. Sit right here. Go over there. Go over where? Please get over here. Oh, yeah. Get over here. Real quick. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Sit down, please. Can I open with-- Let me open with a song. Oh, god. It's open. It's open. It's going to be a remix. No. Let me know. Let me know. I could not focus. All I'm hearing while I'm trying to get in the zone is-- Oh, my god. What is this? Odyssey? He's doing Odyssey. Who said that? Who said that? I didn't say-- Why would you use Odyssey? I'm trying to focus. You're going-- Bobby's going Odyssey. He's just going Odyssey. I'm just like, stand the zone. Stand the zone. I love video. That is so funny. Bobby's used to being like the show, right? And he was not the show that day. People loved you. So what happened was he comes over to me. He's like, he's not answering any of my questions. And I was like, Bobby, it's not your day. It's not about you. My coach was laughing when you were talking to me. I could hear my coach. He never laughs. He's just like, what the fuck? I was giving you good notes and suggestions. Before the fight? Yes. What? Optic. I need to see Optic in-- I was like, you're great. Optic. Optic. I go up to work right. I can hear you. So Gilbert fought. Let's set the stage. Let's set the stage. First, foremost, welcome back. Welcome back, high man. You're being on a hiatus. No. Don't be a bad boy. Hurry, Paulie gets your son. We got to wait for the story. So Gilbert has his first amateur fight. Now, we all go down to wherever it was. Torrance. Wherever it was. You could have been in Middle-Earth. It was that far. I had to take a car there. Do you remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to get up so early. And I was in a car service going to see fucking my friend die. So early, the fight started at 2.30. I know, but that's early for me. That's really early for me. Yeah, it's early for me. So then-- so he has his first amateur when we go over there. And it-- there's a lot of big crowd. I didn't feel the pressure until I started seeing who started showing up. Yeah. So Dominic Cruz showed up for you. UFC World Champion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. World Champion Dominic Cruz. Bro from San Diego. San Diego. Bro back to San Diego. Bro, go back. Just to fucking see you lose. Yeah. Now listen, you should know what-- Also, Anderson Silva's Striken Coaches there too, which made me-- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So people were there. Jason Parker. Yeah, so there he is right there. Get the intro. Dude, what are you doing there? So-- Oh, I can't look at this. All right, push pause for a second. We don't need to see the fight. So I just want to tell you what I am at. I'll tell you what I see. You started laughing when you first saw me warming up. Just threw me off. Why started warming up with you? I know. I started panning. You know why I did that? To prove that I can do it too. Let's get on the fight. Yeah. Hey, Rich. All right. I was flowing with you in there, dude. Yeah. Right. So, you know, we were training together a little bit. When you get in there, are you nervous? Are you just laughing at the whole situation? Is it like just silly to you that this is even happening? No. Dude, I know you are serious. I don't know what-- You're serious. This is what-- I know what you're going to say. This is what it felt like to me. My son going in 1969. My son going, "Dad, yes, son, I'm going to the Vietnam War." That makes sense. That's what it felt like to me. And it made me going, "No, no." You know what I mean? You can't. Right? I'm going to hamburger hill. You can't, you know what I mean? So, that's what it felt like to me like I was concerned. I think we were trying to play it off. Like, "Oh, this is nothing. This is nothing." And then I-- I was playing it off. The car into my right was an ambulance just waiting outside the building. And I walked in and I saw Bobby. Sure. And literally, both of us at the same time said, "Do you see the ambulance?" Yeah. Like, we were like-- This is like serious. This is serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It got really serious. Good soup, too. Yeah. You got your soup. I think-- You ate soup and-- [LAUGHTER] Yeah, yeah. There was a guy selling soup. Shout out to him right, right. And he goes, "Can I get a photo?" I go, "Yeah." Then he says, then he goes, "You want some soup on the house?" Right? And I go, "You're fucking soup, right?" That's so hot that day. Right. And then what happened is 20 minutes later, what does-- When you deny soup, what happens 20 minutes later? You get offered it again. No. You want it. It comes back in just like back out. Right. So I was already in the crowd. And I was like, "You know what? I'm going to get some free soup." Right. He planted a soup seed. Yeah, soup seed, right? When I go back, he charges me. [LAUGHTER] It wasn't on the house? No. Oh. It was 20 minutes where he forgot who I was. Or I don't know what the fuck happened. And I didn't have the nerve to go-- You offered-- I had to go forward with you. You offered one for free. Yeah. So I bought three soups from him. But delicious. So he soup seeded you. Yeah. I soup seeded you. Yeah, he said. That's a real thing, apparently. So during the fight, I'll tell you what. Just because our guest was coming soon, I'll just give you my rundown of what I saw. So in the back, you weren't nervous with me. The first two rounds. Wait, the entry. Okay, so he enters the ring. And he does a rule into the ring. [LAUGHTER] You know what I mean? I call it an egg roll. Okay. He egg rolls into the ring. That was not planned. It wasn't? Not planned. Yeah, it was-- I was mad when I saw it. I was mad because I'm like-- I feel like you're already kind of blew your dopamine rush right then and there in the entry. And you're going to have an adrenaline dump after that. I told myself I wouldn't have an adrenaline dump. Let's go back. Okay. Because he does the stretch too, which was also-- Yeah, I wasn't minding that. Why are you doing that? How many rounds? [LAUGHTER] Okay, all right, all right. Okay. How many rounds did you go for? Three. Three. What was the point of the role? Two. Show me. Coming out, my coach Ray talked to me. He's like, I'm going to need you to keep things simple. I understand there's a whole thing around here for you. But I'm going to need you to keep it simple. Move. Don't expend energy. You look calm right now. Keep it calm. So during the walkout, that's why I was in the entry. I was like, I'm going Zen right now. I'm about to go to war. That's why you wouldn't answer me. And as the music started playing. Paulie called. And people started cheering. And then I was like, they put the mouthpiece in. I checked the cup. I go, I'm about to fuck this guy up. And I got all like, this fucking-- Go! And I was like, why did I do this stretch? I've never done that. Then I was like, I'm going to roll. That's the only move I can do. So Paulie's here. So let me just say real quick. You won the first two rounds. Yeah. Yeah. I thought he was 2-0. 2-0, first two rounds. You stepped into a punch. He stepped into it. You know what? And then I saw your head whip back like that. But I didn't even know what happened was he threw a cross. And both of his feet came off the floor. And as he was still in the air with the back foot, he got hit in the back foot. His cow window watched the livestream. Because I couldn't watch it from my vantage point. No, to be continued. We'll do it after. Okay. We'll do it after. Hey, whoo, spicy. Because I have so much to show you. I know you have a lot of notes. Is this your jacket you want? Yes. How you been? I'm good. How are you? I miss you. Yeah. Yeah. I miss you a lot. I've been asking for you for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. I want to go back on Trash Tuesday. Oh, you're on Tiger Belly. Oh, yeah. Hey, man. That's cool. Go to Trash Tuesday. Well, it's here for me. Thanks to me. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He's also my. I can eat calories. How's life? How's life? How's life? Life for everybody. Life's good. How are you? Yeah. You're on the road a lot with Ralph. Yeah. Eating a lot of cars, junior. You got to get healthy, man. Were you just in London or somewhere in Europe? Oh, that was in the summer. The summer just passed, I mean. That was in the summer. Yeah. It's fall season now. Yeah, you're right. And I. We're in Phoenix right now. I know. You're going to go to Phoenix after this? No. We were just. Did you officially move back here? No. I'm couch surfing right now. Because the last time we talked, you were out there. right about to you want to couch you want to live on my couch what kind of roomie are you no just just a comic what kind of roomie are you are do you clean I clean I'll buy you dinner for everybody okay let me consider it just like keep it simple if I you know what I do have I don't trust you're driving I do I can drive I'm a licensed I have a camper van oh for real yeah it's really nice but I don't trust I feel like you're gonna run it into a wall or something no I believe her I don't have any accidents but look but you said you know you said you were a passenger prince and that your mommy drives you everywhere is that true though what I just said yeah how am I gonna trust you with a big ass camper van can I see it yeah no mom she bought me this hoodie but I just messed it up you put what was built on it what is this ketchup I was just I was just a heavy-handed it's delicious man and that's pretty much it looks like this did you get Alex's forts yet or no interesting it's been two years it's not been two years it's been a year I need to steal them I don't have them if I had them I want to wear them here I know I don't have them for a man stop asking me what about you Gilbert you got knocked out can I see it oh you have one of those that's sweet yeah so it has like upstairs bedroom and then downstairs bedroom yeah it's like a king and a bottom and a cleanish up top I just can't have you drive it I have to have Gilbert and and Alex sign sign off on your driving first actually I lived in a camper at one point I would trust you to drive my camper kind of cool van yes but this guy said that his mom drives him everywhere around in Texas I've actually driven with Jaime before we didn't crash so that doesn't tell me anything yeah but it was only once it was in Dallas but did you feel safe or yeah it wasn't us we felt yeah he drove all of us it's so cold in here would you trust Jaime to drive a van that seriously be all kind of van like a big camper van no maybe a yellow school bus a little a short one when you say things when things come out of your mouth yeah yeah yeah come in the door can you help him hey Paul oh my God I got a really good lawyer he's Jewish as well so they're the best we're gonna have a deposition deposition all hey dude what's up Paul Paul he sure everybody give him a ride by it what's that dude what's up bro all right what's up I have it I did it's all half I love you bro this is it would you have a fucking confetti party before I got there we go there's the jokes okay right it's like fucking rip torn or something can we get through our issues first we have an issue okay okay first of all from what's going on there's a big fly it's a big fly it's a it's all right anyway um Paul yes how are you you look good yeah yeah I didn't know it's gonna wear this morning yeah I wanted to dress you know because I got to get a game tellerica well nobody is the Democrat yeah Democrat yeah yeah he's in Texas yeah Texas yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I do right yeah yeah James tellerica you being a lot of barbecue that's good yeah I was thinking more like uh but swana oh oh yeah there he is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so can I ask you a question yes um what's my nationality Korean what do you call me Chinese well I started you know because I don't know I just like Chinese I like I know you look I know like I like you like the word yeah it's a good word I'm sad though but you're really more into Thai people well I like anything that looks like you you've got to think it's a thing is because I don't know if you know this because he was raised yeah yeah we talked about this he was raised now did you know no he was raised by Thai people yeah oh like Thailand yeah well there was Kirk and there was Ted Ted before that yeah yeah this was way before you this but you told me about 1970s yeah yeah yeah yeah but also like I you know what I mean I saw on a lot which we go to the we do it together yeah we go to the Korean spa lot we do all that you're being wait are you stoned or something is that way with the glasses I have a stigmatism oh wow I mean what's up bro some pie right right no but the thing is you know I have I personally I have my own sauna at my house I have a cold plunge up my house I have all that stuff in my house but I like to go I like to go to the Korean spa because I just like walking around naked with Asians yeah yeah yeah I know I just like it can I talk about your behavior though in the car how much can I talk about your behavior in the Korean spa yeah all right so can I talk about his behavior absolutely so what sometimes I'm there and I can hear him coming in and the entrance is so far from the fucking you know min spa I'm very excited he gets you can you hear me you know you hear a lot of that right and then he goes around and he'll go up to Korean man and go I love Chinese people right and in my mind I want to go yeah yeah but he does it and they love it yeah yeah yeah so what happened what's what's what happened is at the beginning I would run in and I was so not yeah yeah so not so not so not and they would look at me like I was just this crazy homeless guy that got in somehow yeah you know I mean they because they don't know the fuck I am you know yeah yeah and then and now when they see me they yell sauna to me oh yes yeah into it I'm like dude shut up bro I got it yeah you know me like so nah I'm like I got it bro I got okay yeah also like I just I don't know at my my parents my parents my childhood was I was raised by my parents you know divorced when I was three I was raised at the with the comedians at the store but she always get left me with the bar help the the people that work and the bar help was all right so they were late over were they late over from the Thai restaurant that was there no no no no it was just said and Ted Ted was he used to live at the house with my mom was SUNY we still live downstairs yeah and and Ted had the hard he had the rough like feel this like his shins were like this oh shins you know back I said can you fucking kick the bag all the time it was this little skinny guy yeah he was this little skinny old guy but his fucking shins were so strong yeah yeah and you you he would hit you he would hit me with his shins good morning he had no he had the the big bag the heavy bag in the back and he would just fucking and and he did it all the time to make his his shins really strong like like this like wow yeah they're like wood yeah like fucking wood yeah you had a little trucking Chan in there yeah yeah very much so good good point when that's how he brought Hymie to get a Hymie he's a friend it's a miracle that he even knows who Jackie Chan is but the reason the reason why I was there's got a reason why I wore a suit and tie is because I want to you're just this is the new thing you're doing oh yeah come on kids gather baby acorns oh baby acorns down save your money baby invest oh yeah yeah you got to invest baby acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow you know as a young man I wish I invested me too right because if I wouldn't invested in my 20s maybe I could have had more uh my biggest regret is not starting sooner or even having the guidance or even having something like acorns to just make it easy yeah easy dude acorns is easy you can sign up in minutes and start automatically investing your spare money even if all you've got is spare change acorns grows with you whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down acorns supports your big and small goals across every life stage the acorns potential screen shows you the power of compounding and how your money could grow over time plus you can quickly adjust how much you're investing every day week or month to make sure you're building towards your goals acorns is only one no more finance apps cluttering up your phone with acorns you can invest and save and give your money a 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The potential subject to various factors such as customer accounts, age and environment investment setting, not include acorns, these, results do not predict or represent the performance of any acorns portfolio. Investment results will vary involving investing involves risk, acorns advisor, LLC. An SEC registered investment advisor, view important disclosure at acorns.com/tigerbelly. ♪ Acorn ♪ ♪ Helix, helix, helix for your sleep ♪ ♪ Better watch your sleep, baby ♪ ♪ Helix, helix for your sleep ♪ Helix. - Anyway, helix, man, my sleep has improved dramatically since I've been sleeping on a helix mattress. Improvements, a-okay, number one. Has your helix mattress upgraded your bedroom home? Yes, it has. Every room in my house is elevated to a beautiful, comfortable sleeping place for one human beings and other living beings can sleep on, you know? You can personalize it, can you not? - You can. So for instance, me, like I'm a hot sleeper, but I also like to sleep on my side. 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Treat yourself to a crisp apple bite and smooth caramel delight with a caramel apple five hour energy shot, only available online for a limited time at fivehourenergy.com or Amazon. Guess what, follows back, which means all those sugary fall exclusive treats are too. You wanna get your flavor fixed without the sugar? Grab one of these delicious caramel apple five hour energy shots, I do it, the leaves are out, the pumpkins are out, and guess what, the caramel apple five hour energy shots are out. (upbeat music) ♪ Shopify, Shopify, Shopify for your mind ♪ You guys, Shopify, we have an online business here, we use Shopify to get our merch out there. We only use the best here at Tiger Valley. Shopify helps you launch a store and start selling in a few simple steps without needing to be an e-commerce expert. Like I'm no expert at e-commerce, right? I'm a simple person, I want something laid out in a simplified way, and I need an AI assistant and they have one called Sidekick. And you can help with business tax along the way from store setup to planning promotions, dude. I'm really trying to get into Shopify so that I can start selling some merch on my own and crank in them dollar bills. And lucky for me, Shopify's pre-built themes and AI site builder can make it easier to create a professional looking storefronts. Gotta look like shit. Oh wow, we're just getting in now, breaking news, launch before Black Friday at time of year, when more people are already shopping and ready to buy, that's genius. Because Black Friday people buy my shirts. I love that. If you're ready to launch your business before Black Friday, go to Shopify.com/TigerBody to start your free trial. - Yeah, Shopify.com/TigerBody. - Go to Shopify.com/TigerBody to hear your first. (bell rings) - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Guys, if you're in a jungle, you can still open a store. Check out this tune. (bell rings) - Oh, Shopify! (bell rings) - Hi, Wars. There's got to be a reason why we're a suit and tie, is because I want to-- - This is the new thing you're doing. - No, it's not, it's just-- - I know, but why now? - Because the business has changed. (laughs) - What are you talking about right now? - Let me finish the sentence. - Yeah, but you've been talking the whole time. - Okay, what kind of-- - Keep on. - Say why I wore this. - Yeah, go ahead. - 'Cause I figured you guys would ask me why I wore a suit and tie. Anyway, that's the guy we met. - That's Al Jolson, right? (laughs) Hey, mommy, hey, Poppy. No, when I used to do the David Letterman show and I was out there promoting stuff, I always wore a suit and tie. And you guys are kind of the new normal. Like, this is kind of where the business is now. Like, doing the Bobby Lee Colleila podcast. It's like the new, it's like, well, no, it's like, it's like, it's like, (laughs) It's like, David Letterman, there's your pops paper right there. (laughs) You know, I got to kiss the ring of the king and queen. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you. - This is how it was back then. I'm promoting my movie, I'm promoting all my stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So it's just like, - So this is what you're doing. Oh, so you're, you're-- - It's like Letterman. You're using us like, we're legacy media. - Yes, yes. - That's how you become legacy media. You're very mainstream, dude. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You're like, David Letterman now. You're like-- - I'm not David Letterman, that's insane. (laughs) I mean, a fucking garage. - I know. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. David Letterman didn't do it in his garage. - This is a big deal to do the Bobby Lee Colleila podcast. - Okay, can we talk about-- (laughs) - Okay, all right. All right, to do the letter. - All right, all right. - And I had stuff to come up here. - So I have a couple of other things I want to hash out with you - No, we're good. I'll do a Red Bull diet, yeah. - Yeah. - Okay, go on. - Enjoy. - This is mine. - Okay. - Get away from mine. - You know what the difference is when I do the David Letterman show, there would be like pre-interviews. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? They're like-- - I talked to you outside. - Oh, that was the pre-interview. - I talked to you outside. That was a pre-interview. - Okay. (laughs) - About a month ago, I was at the comedy store and I was in the main room. And you were right before me. - Yeah. - Okay. And you gave me a really hard felt suite. - No, hold on. The worst intro I've ever gotten in my life. - Oh no. - Worst. - Wow. - He goes, "This guy has changed." This is what he said. "This guy's changed. He's a piece of shit." - Oh. - "He's a dick now." (laughs) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You guys just set me up. There's like a song I'm up in life. (laughs) - I know, I know, I know. - Are you guys fucking-- - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - It's came from-- - Did you just do this? - Yes, I did. - Did you not do this? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I was pissed off. - I know you were mad at me, right? But, you know what I mean? I thought that, you know, on stage, right? That stuff, like-- - No, it's a film. - It's like a pimple. (laughs) - You know, pop my pimple on stage. - Maybe, but why were you mad at him? - Because he's changed. - In what way do you feel? - Oh my God. - A lot of things-- - No, let's get into this. - It's so fucking stupid. - You guys are like one friends. I have to know. - No, no, he has changed. Ever since you broke his heart. (laughs) (laughs) - And you took his half Chinese baby. (laughs) - Oh, good for you. - Good for you. (laughs) - I think so. (laughs) - No, what happened was, I noticed it when I worked with Nick Schwartzson and Bobby up in Edmonton, we did this big show up there, and he was just acting like a dick. You know what I mean? He was just like, no, it's like, dude, you've been doing this to fucking gain an audience. You gotta be nice to the people that come up to you and say nice things. You don't try to avoid them and start smoking and getting, I don't like it, I don't like it. You have to stop and you have to embrace the love that people have for you. - Yeah, let's get to a strip club. I don't wanna go. You're not being social. - That's not what you're doing. - That's what you're doing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Dude, when we were walking from the van into the fucking Chinese restaurant, sorry, it was a Chinese restaurant. (laughs) - Yeah. (laughs) - That was bad enough, I don't know how to tell you. (laughs) And it was just sketch. - Maybe he wasn't on his meds or something, but I was like, dude, why are you acting like a dick, dude? - No, it'd be nice. - Now let's read the room, no, I don't remember. That's insane, you're lying. - You remember? - I don't remember any of these fucking lying. Now let me just say, you're a fucking liar. - Let's call Nick Schwarzen. - Yeah. - Right now, he'll tell you. - Yeah, he's not gonna tell me. - What was this? Like what time? - It doesn't matter what time it was, 'cause it never fucking happened. - Yeah, I was in Edmonton with him and Schwarzen, at one point, I remember that. - Oh, yeah. - Okay. - Did he pick up? - Yeah, he's gonna call right now. Listen, I'll just tell you, you were just acting weird. - Okay, all right, let's talk to him, weird. - Give me the phone. - Okay, well, let him answer first. - I know, I don't want you to direct the conversation though. - Yeah, I'll give it to you when I get it. - You'll say nothing. - I won't say anything. - All right. - Right, shit, he's nothing. - It's all husband. - All right, I have a phone, I'm gonna call him. - Never, never. (laughs) - I'm gonna say, you know, he picks up for who, okay? - Yeah, exactly. - Yeah, let's see what happens. - Yeah, because you're like the letterman of the giant. - No, that's, you're a big letterman of the giant. - Dude, you're big, right? - Here we go, here we go. He didn't pick up, you know what, so we're both losers. Go ahead. - So anyways, so, you know, I've been known for a long time. I know what it's like for people to come up to me. And now Bobby's very known. I mean, that's just the reality. Everywhere he goes, people like Bobby. - He's not through. Can I have, you said, I can say something too. So, I mean, great. - Yes, someone said, he's like the Matthew McConaughey. - Yeah, he's like, no, Matthew McConaughey. - What's the Matthew McConaughey? - Of this generation. - He gave a letterman, he said. - Well, Matthew McConaughey too. - Okay. - All right, all right, all right. (laughs) So, he's great Matthew McConaughey. - He's great. - He's so shiny, dude. - I bet he is. He looks shiny on television. - He looks great. - Yeah, yeah. - Let's not talk about it. - Anyways, so that's why I snapped. That's why I snapped because I grew up with him and I don't want to see him turn out like, you know, Molly would-- - Wait, was, did you guys fight during that trip? Or did you say anything then? - No, no, that doesn't ever happen. So why would we fight over something that didn't happen? (laughing) - And we're going to do a deposition about this. - Yeah, yeah, I have, there's no witnesses that you have. This is just-- - You're a point of view. - So Watson is not going to side with you because he, there's no way he's going to side with you. He knows I'm a nice person. I think photos with every single person asked for one. - Yeah, as you're smoking and stressed out about it. - You're not opening your heart. - No, I'm not. (laughing) (laughing) - What the fuck are you talking about? My heart is completely open for seven. - Listen, I'm at the store. I see Jaime there. People are coming up to him and he's opening his what? - I'm my heart. - Yes, I am. - You almost didn't know what to say. And Kalala, you do what? You open your what? - My heart too, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - When people come up to you and see-- - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's a good kisses. - So, Kalala, can I ask, can I talk? - Yes. - All right. (laughing) - I'm so stupid that we're even talking about something that never happened. But let me try, okay? - Let me try. - Let me try this, okay. Look at me right now, right? Does this ring true with you? What he's saying? - Okay. - There's two parts to this. I have seen you be the most pleasant, joyous, wonderful, sweet soul. I have also seen the other side, which is ringing true for me, which is that you can be very prickly and ill-tempered and mean. - To who? Not to-- - No, to like fans, to your friends. Not to fans, never to fans. - Never to fans? - To like us, or to your friends. - Yeah, to Paulie. - To Paulie. - So, I'm gonna say something about Paul, if I may. He's been trying to start a war with bad friends for a year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you have. We talk about it a long time, like, what is he starting to start a war with us, right? And you're talking shit about us too, right? So my point is, is that you're a rabble rouser. You like to poke, right? And you're not based in any kind of truth. - Wait, what are you saying? I want to know this is so funny. - First of all, I don't remember, and that can't be true. I don't know which to cut this part out, same time, same fact. - Yeah, it's never happened. - Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about. I never try to have a war with you. I was supported you. - Did people are online, and they can see it. - What's happening? Tell me what I'm missing. - So he'll go like, did fuck you get, we're in a war. He's talking about, yeah, that's it. Say it, say it. He says that we're in a war, man. Fuck you guys, man. Let's talk shit. Like, he's trying to start something. And we're sitting there at the studio, you know what I mean? Bad friend studio, and we're like, what is Paul doing? And I'm like, he's just poking the bear. So what he's doing right now with Edmonton, he's poking the bear. He's a deceiver. Let me talk. - You are talk. - You have to say the thing. - You gotta say like an Asian person. - No, I'm not talking. - I'm not doing that. - All right. - You little deceiver. - I'm gonna say you're a deceiver. You work in the shadows. - Yeah, you do. You're a trickster, all right? - You said that word with the R. Rambunzel. - Rambunctious? - No, you said rabble rousers. - We're gonna rabble rousers, dude. - That's a real word. I think you remember me saying it. - I just, it's a cool, what is it? - What do you think it means? It's a whole line. What do you think it means? - Just yapping guy. (laughing) - I guess maybe. - Yapping guy. - Yeah, rabble rousers. - Someone who like starts little fires. - Fight. - Yeah, yeah. - I think you started a fire with Sebastian, Manascalco. - You went, oh, what's going on with Sebastian? - I don't know, with the response video, with all those other comedians. (laughing) You know what I mean? - First of all, I've never been on that station. - And you know, and why would I have no, I have no, - No, I'm not talking about the station. I'm talking about your response video with all the other comedians coming out of Sebastian. And you had dinner with them last week at his house. - Okay, no, I did it. Okay, first of all, I haven't seen Seb in three months. - You haven't seen what? - Seb. - Okay, I don't know who that is. - Sebastian, Manascalco. - Oh, oh, wow, see, Hollywood, that's what I think. He's changed. - Debbie. - Debbie. (laughing) - What? - Sabster. - No one would know that that's his name and let your Mr. Hollywood. - Okay. - But I wanna kiss your ring. - All right. - Like David Letterman. - Play a Chinese song. - No, no, that's not even working. (laughing) - Yeah. - Bobby D, you know, I know Bobby D, Robert De Niro. Anyway, my point is, is that- - Well, no, here's part of the reason why I came after you. - Okay. - But, can I say it? - Yeah. - You're the one that's talking. - Okay, so, so Bobby, as you guys all know, you know, I found under a rock in San Diego. Pretty much under a gel. You know, this is where you play the song, right? And I've championed him for years. - Wow. - You know, and he's doing great now. And sometimes I would like to come on with him and I'd never been on bad friends. Let me say it again, you guys, just for the record. What the fuck, you laughing? And I'll punch you in the face again. (laughing) No, I never even been on bad friends. And every time I see San Diego- - It's gonna stay that way, I'll tell you that right now. - And every time I see San Tino, he's like, yeah, let's do it and it just never happens for whatever reason. So I said to him backstage in the main room, at the store where we all hung out in the back of the main room, I said, dude, let me come on bad friends, it'll be fucking fun. And he says, you have nothing to promote, is what he said. You know, let me say it again, yeah, Bobby said that. He goes, when he has something to promote, we'll have you on. So, immediately I'm thinking, oh, this is what this world is now. You have to have something to promote to be on these shows. And that's just the way it is. And what it used to be is like friends would just be on people's podcasts, but now it's all corporatey. And that's just what it shifted into, which is fine. But that's just the way it is. Did you not say that to me? And I even said, here's, I even said this. I even said, I have no deal with, I even said, off the rails, I would like that. Listen, I even said, You see, fucking me gave you the worst intro possible. And I even said, I just had a fucking tumor, is what I said in the audience, that is true. And I said, oh, you got a pre-cancer into a bastard. I'm so glad you got it. Anyways, it's gonna say what I'm saying. So, you know what I'm saying? So I was like, yeah, so I was like, dude, I just, I got it, I had a scare. I had a scare. My life's scare, Bob, and you have anything to promote is not a friend move. That's what I'm saying. So now let her speak for a while. Dude, that's fucking gotta open. He's full of lies. That's not a lie. No, I know you were sick. And just for the record, no, we do have friends on here for everyone to promote. That dude, yeah. And that's okay, and I'm okay with that. It's just, it just happens so quick. Just you guys are old friends. Yeah, it just happens so quick that all of a sudden this turned into like a big-- Look at me, look at me, look at me, pushpots. Pauline Bobby, long friends. Yeah, over 20 something years ago. I look weird with no mustache, huh? Well, now you look good. Oh, I do, okay. So respond to what I just said, buddy. Uh-huh. You know, you don't want to respond? Okay, I want to move on from after this. Okay, that's fine, but I'm just saying-- Let's do final, let's do final, what do you call it? Response, thought, final thoughts. That's fine, all right. So everyone gets one turn. And would you like to go first? No, you go first. Okay, is this a debate or forgiveness? It's a debate, because I look like Cheddar Rico, bro. [LAUGHTER] Cheddar Rico does, Cheddar Rico does, Cheddar Rico does. Cheddar Rico is crazy. I look like Cheddar Rico does, it's a debate, yeah, dude. I'm going to vote for you, Cheddar. Cheddar. [LAUGHTER] Final thoughts, none of this stuff I was privy to before the intro. privy? When did you come up with that fucking word? [LAUGHTER] Yes, like three seconds ago. Preve never said the word privy before, but go on. Go on. [LAUGHTER] I never saw-- what's that little word? Rable Rosard. Rable Rosard. I haven't said that one. That's a good word. I like that word. Okay, anyway. But you don't like privy. Okay, let's move on. He's changed, man. We talked about it on your show, and you agreed, too. Yeah, yeah. You agreed with him? Yes. Be careful. No, it's my first day back, so I-- Yeah, he did. [LAUGHTER] I don't know what to do right now. I was going to say hi, man. Just got here, dude. He's got here. He just got back, dude, all right? Oh, he did. No, Rable Rosard. No, Rable Rosard. The surgery here. Yes, I wanted to take care of you. Oh, yeah, yeah. What did I say? I said he should human fucking Santino should raise money for your face. [LAUGHTER] Oh, my god. Did I ask you to use money for your face? Play that. Play that right now. Do one show. A benefit for his fucking faces, poor guy. We go to Korea, dude. We get your whole face on it. Let me see. Go like this. Is it still crooked? Yeah, dude. So tell him from your heart what you want to do. It hurts to eat, man. Yeah. Yeah. It's hard. All right. All right, man, we're still-- I want you to pitch-- Final response is, let me speak. I want you to pitch your tooth situation to me. It's not a one tooth. It's the whole mouth. Dude, it's $20,000. It's $20,000. Yes. Yes, right about. And it hurts. Or you don't like the way it looks. Is it a-- it's both. It's causing also severe sleep apnea in him. And the fact that I have to bring this-- How the fuck do you know that? Because it's hot. It's my boy. Yeah, OK. He's my little son. Yeah, I think we're all turning on him now, dude. Yeah, yeah. [LAUGHTER] Look at that. (laughing) - All right, final thoughts, final thoughts, final, sit back down. New weasel. (laughing) The weas, anyway, my final thoughts. So up until the intro, these are things that I wasn't aware of. Edmonton never happened. Everything was fine with Edmonton. There wasn't, he's never even proud of Edmonton. Does the first time he's ever brought it up? Which is strange to me, because that was years ago. - But that sounds like someone I know, someone who lets, when something happens to them, they don't have it in the moment. They don't have it in them to tell that person in the moment. - Who's this person that you know? - You. - Figh, go. (laughing) - Figh, go you. - You can you go. (laughing) - Figh, I wouldn't say fuck with my paled out of it, but Figh, I go figh, that's another word I was never heard. - But you, like since the dawn of time, Bobby, you're somebody that holds it in, and the person doesn't even know why you're mad at them, and then one day you were like, well, you did this to me, and then they don't remember? - Oh, there was that box. - And now you're doing it to Polly. - Reset box. - Okay, okay, maybe, all right. So, all I do know though is, this is stuff that's happening privately, okay? When you're interviewing somebody in front of a sold out room in the main room, especially when you had a great set, okay? And you say that I'm terrible person. (laughing) We really, you've changed, you know, you have to sit now, Bobby Lee, right? I went out there with not a pop. (laughing) 'Cause they believed me. - I had no, they believed you, so it got weird, real fast. - Wait for real? - Yeah, so I'm on the stage, kind of like trying to, you know, meet you. - You should pull up the clip. It's out there. - It is out there, yeah. - You should pull it up. - His intro is out there, clipped. - It's great. - Yeah, yeah. - You can feel the venom in my chest. - Yeah, and so I, I had a rough set. - Is it a good one? - I had a, okay. I'm privy to that too. All right, so I had a rough set. Here we go. - Should we just listen to it? - Yeah, let's just listen to it. It's at the comedy store. - Maybe I got it wrong. How about this? Let's just, let's do it. - No, I'm kidding. And see if this is maybe a good intro. - Yeah, it's right. - I think it's pretty funny. - Oh, where's the volume? - Oh, yeah. 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Be sure to use our list, you know, we send you. Check out this tune. - Dober, dober, dober, dober, dober. Buh, buh. (upbeat music) - That's good so far. - All right, next to me, I mean, you still have a fucking sense of humor. You became famous and became a fucking dickhead anyways. This guy's turning, you guys see what we want people? I mean, he's gonna come out and tell me to shut the fuck up. No, come out now, come out now, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop it, stop it, stop it, This one's hanging. So anyways, I've been in Hollywood ever since I was a little baby. I've seen everyone, you know, all the comedians, all the different people come up. They become known and they become famous and speak of a change to this audience. He is a fucking detective. I've been the same fucking idiot my whole life. He becomes famous. He won't even put me in his fucking podcast program. He says that nothing but forty-nine, nothing to promote. He says that's what he said. It's a business now. It's a fucking business. I keep up for volume. Pretty real. Yeah, pretty fucking good intro, you think? Pretty fun. Pretty. That's a brutal intro, brutal. Yeah, I felt like I really felt sad. Yeah, yeah, I was hurting public shaming. You like that? I was seriously out there, dude. What's her name? It started with him not wanting to dance with you. Can we get? Can we go to this, right? Are we at the comedy store or studio 54? Pick a club dance. No, no, no, pick a fucking club, right? Because I think I'm at a comedy club. Yeah, not at studio, right? Am I? Is this the 70s? We used to dance all the time together. That's what I was saying. Dancing, dancing days are over. All right, I want to see that right now. That's not Hollywood. It's an agency. No, it's back pain. It's not Hollywood. I'm 55. My heart. All right, so I don't want to dance before my set. I don't want to be out there dancing with you. That's not what I want to be doing. Because I rejected you, it's because of the dance. I rejected you. Because if I would have danced with you, you wouldn't have had to give me that. So I turned you down. It was insulting. And you got mad. Let's just be honest. Partly. And then it built up. But it had nothing to do with Edmonton. But it triggered the memory of it. No, I didn't trigger the memory. That's fucking me really. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I just said it was a. That was a. I was a liar. He's a fucking no liar. He fucking does all my life. I'm manipulating a fucking twisting and turning dude. But he put up. But he put up to fuck your fired. I hope I stand on your back. The last time I see you, man. In a fire. Anyway, you know what you tell me where he's going to. We're going to walk it under the bridge, though. We're good now, right? No, we're not good. You said the rubber war. I want a forever worn out with you, dude. Fuck you, dude. Anyway, we got that over with. Let's talk about other things. All right. All right. Everything's fine. I think welcome back to the program. How many times does Paul don't program in every studio almost even the old one? Yeah. No, no, no, no. I actually looked. I looked last night. I looked to when I was on here last. It's pretty interesting. I love what you're doing right now, dude. It's just like let's take a guess. Let's take a guess. No, no, no, don't tell him. Okay. Okay, wait. Let me guess. First of all, let me say something before you say that. I know what you're going to say. Okay. Let me just do a little. All right. Mind you. Okay. Just mind you. I knew. There's probably thousands of people that want to do the podcast that we have to schedule and work around, right? Because it's like, you know, a lot of people want to do. We can't oblige. Doesn't that time. Doesn't that right? So it's like, you know, we can have the same guy on every week. It's basically what I'm trying to say. We have we have to rotate. So go ahead. So take a guess when I was on here last. How many two years ago? I'll take a guess. Don't say it, guys. I've only ever. I only remember one other time with you. So this is your second time. Okay. That's your guess. That's my guess. And you know how long it came here from Puerto Rico, so you don't know. I came from Phoenix. Phoenix. So take a guess. What about three, four years ago? Okay. Can I tell you I've been on twice because I look last night is your third time though. This is my third time. And the last time I was on was six years ago. That was close. Six years ago. Isn't that wild? And I'm not saying that like October 29, 2020. Oh, over here. Over. That's crazy. It's a long time. That's a long time ago. So anyways, back to. Back to my relationship with you. I've known you. I discovered you. I cherish you. I held you like a fucking bow. Like a fucking oyster in a shell. My whole life. She saved your career in a way because you didn't have shit before Matt after Matt TV. And she said you're brilliant. She said you're brilliant. And you should do a podcast. I remember talking to you in the fucking parking lot at the store. She pushed you because she loved you and she thought how brilliant you were. [LAUGHTER] I thought it was pretty, we can-- I like Tellerico. Tellerico. Tellerico. Tellerico. Am I right? Tell me I'm right. I-- that's not-- You can support him to do a podcast. Yeah, I love Bobby. And I think he's to this day the most brilliant person alive, so yes. But he wasn't doing it, and you're like, dude, you've got to do this. It'll be awesome. Yeah, he wasn't a bad-- He wasn't a bad place when I first. He was in a rough spot when I first met him, yeah. Yeah, so she, you know, in a way, it's partly responsible for all this, too. Because she loved you, and she supported you. She supported you. I remember, dude, I was there. I remember that the early days when I used to go to the comedy store. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he was there because he used to come up to me. I don't know what I'm going to do, but frustrated. With this career. Yeah. That's some guard time. But he found his niche. Yeah, man. I'm so happy for you. Ask you a question, please. Shout out to all the women. Do you think-- Paul. Appreciate you, bro. Appreciate you, Paul. Paul. Can I ask you something? Yes. Do you think every comic has a period in their career where they're struggling? Even after they had a lot of good-- yeah, a lot. So I'm just going to what normal people go through. And then you kind of reinvent, and you adjust, and you try to figure it out. Yeah. And I was there for you as a friend. And I was there for you. I'm there for you as a friend. Correct. So can we come by on, put everything in the past? Well, yeah. I'd like to make a deal with you right now. What? Can I make a deal with you right now? Yeah, we can. All right, yeah. If you ever give me an intro like that again, I will lose my fucking mind. Respect. I'll respect. No matter what's going on between you and I personally, right? And it was-- Let's just stop when we're performing. It's a professional environment. Right. I want-- You're right. Right. No, I'm being real, right? I want the respect. And because it's like, I bomb that night, and bombing hurts. Yeah. And also on top of it, while I'm performing, and I am bombing, I'm getting rage, because I'm thinking about you the whole time. Because you start thinking about the intro. That night in Detroit. Back to that. I mean, you know, we've talked about Detroit before. Let's move on. Let's move on for a minute. But so I saw a clip of the year of the other day in Austin. Someone thought you were homeless. Mm. Yeah. Was that-- was that a-- it felt like that was a sketch. I don't know. Is it real? So I saw a video of the other day. Some guy in Austin was like, oh my god, there's a homeless person. And Paulie walks by and goes, I'm not homeless. Right. And he goes, yeah, you are. You're like, no, I'm Paulie Shore. Yeah. That's a bit we were doing. Okay, good. It felt real though. Yeah, but you didn't look homeless. You didn't look like little fluorescent green shorts. Yeah, we were on the way to-- we were on the way to yoga. He had no, we played a Joe's Club on the weekend. And hung it out with your friend Tony, Tony Hinchcliff. Yeah. Why don't you go see them more often over there? [LAUGHTER] Here we go. They would love to have-- Joe Rogan loves you. Tony loves you. You should go back over there. Those are your homies. Yeah, I did. I don't know much about it, you know. I like seeing Tony. I like seeing those guys. But I'm not a part of that, you know. They miss you and they love you. I love them too. And I have much, you know, feeling. We'll say what's up to Tony if he's watching. Hey. Tony. [LAUGHTER] We should-- I think we should-- What's up? We should hug time. Hug time and bring him to a fucking hospital. No. You love it there, though. I do. What is it about that you love awesome? I love his room. It's great. It's a beautiful club. Every bend to the club. It's beautiful. Your mom's bar, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Missy's club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a bar called Missy's bar. Is that what it's called? Yeah, and there's a beautiful photo of your mom on the wall, beautifully framed. Yeah, Joe's got a big heart. You know, he-- I know, I believe that, yeah. I love Joe. He's got a big heart and he cares. I mean, dude, do you think he needs to fucking do what he's doing? With running this club, he's got his own life. Yeah. He's doing it for the comics. Yeah. And that's awesome. I think that's awesome. And it's fucking great. And a lot of the younger comics there are doing great. Listen, out of all the comics in the world that I've-- He's helped me the most. I think Rogan. In terms of advice and, you know, I mean, like, what do I do here? What do I do there? You know, he's very good at that. You know, and I-- I really love the guy. And I love Tony. But I also love Carlson's. Yeah. Let's move on. [LAUGHTER] Anyways, his heart is on that in that club. And that's why I go. I like it. Yeah, yeah, it's good. It's a good, good thing. Yeah. So you did a short. Yes. [LAUGHTER] Yes. So you sent it to me yesterday. I didn't watch it. Yeah, yeah. OK. Let's put it up. It just-- We can't watch it. No, you don't. It's called Remain Calm. It's like-- It's with Nick Schwarzen. It's great. It's like if you send him, like, you're, like, a GoFundMe. Yeah. For UT, right? Yeah, and he looked at it, but he didn't donate. Because I did send it to him, right? Well, did you actually make it? Yeah, yeah, I did. I did. Did how much money did you make? Yeah, I don't know. Let's go back to this for a second. So you did-- so you went and got an estimate on your teeth and your face, right? Yeah. So be specific. This is-- Why the face? Because it's the jaw already. No, just my jaw is not the whole face. Yeah, yeah. No, just this. [LAUGHTER] Watch this. No, relax your face. OK, yeah, yeah. So it's more crooked here, like this. Yeah. And it's got to be straight and like that. Yeah. And the way to do that is put them out and put them under. And then you go in there and you fucking crack it. Yeah. And put it back to normal. Set it in place. Set it in place. Yeah. And that's going to cost 20 grand. No. That's only more, no? This Instagram dentist, he-- Instagram dentist. Are we going to do Instagram dentist? [LAUGHTER] No, but let's not-- No. They offered-- Yeah, they offered? Listen, if I-- So what does the Instagram dentist say? About 50 grand. Yeah, I was going to say-- It went from 20 to 50. Oh, that's too much. That's too much. The cosmetic dentistry is so expensive. Look, I got a guy in Vegas that probably do it for half the price. Yeah, super du du, got to go fund me. Yeah, for high-mys, high-mys teeth and jaw. I'm a teeth and jaw. Yeah. I think that we should just put our own money in. Yeah. No, go fund me. I'll put some money in. If you put some money in, Andrew put some money in. No, Andrew will not. [LAUGHTER] And he will not. And he-- There's no way. My friend Ralph. He can put-- Oh, Ralph will probably put in, yeah. Yeah, that's-- Yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. long will your job be wired shut. I think it's like a couple of weeks and you can only eat soup for like two months probably. - That's okay. - That would happen when I had a tumor. - Really? - Let's go back to that. - Oh yeah, no. (laughing) - Hey, Polly, have you talked about your tumor, like publicly? - No, because he doesn't want to talk about it. - Wait, I want to talk about it. - He did a full body scan. - Why did he did the pernovo, right? - Yes. - Right, and they found a little baby, sweet pea of a nugget. - Yeah, I'm okay though, I'm lucky. - So he got lucky, caught it early. - He got surgery. - Yeah, and he could be a little bit. - And he could be a little bit. - Thank you, yes, yeah. - And it was, they buy up, he did it in every, yeah. - It was just very lucky. It was my friend, died, Sam died, you know, Sam macaroni, the director of guest house. - Oh, he died. - macaroni died? - Yeah. - How? - He died because he was having sex with his girlfriend and he had an aneurysm when he orgasmed and he fucking passed out and that was it. And he went in a coma. - That was a good way to die though. - Yeah. - No? - Yeah, there he is, look. Yeah, brain aneurysm. - Oh. - And so after that, I'm like, shit, I gotta do a scan. Have you done a scan? - Yeah. - I did a pernuvo scan. - Yeah, you did it. You're not gonna have anything. That's the whole thing is 99.9%. But if you check it, you, you know, and you can find something. - Yeah. - So it was a scary time. - Lucky, it was lucky. - But Polly, are you feeling better? - Yes. - I don't know. - And the procedure was also nice. - It was a nucleation, they scooped it out. They got it. I had a great surgeon at Cedars and very lucky. A lot of people aren't lucky. A lot of people have, pancreatic cancer, but I was, it was benign. So I just got fucking lucky, dude. - Nice. - Yeah. And it'd been in there for like about 30 years. - When that happens, do you believe that God did that? - What saved me for it? - And discovering it early. You think that there's spiritual element to it? - Well, that, but also Sam dying. - Sam dying. - Yeah, help me. - Because all that stuff is, yeah, you know, it's like seeing little mysteries in the world like that and viewing it as a miracle is nice. - Yeah, I am very lucky, very fortunate, you know. I mean, all of us, obviously so much time has passed. The fact that you guys are still rocking and rolling, it's pretty cool. - I think so. - This is awesome. - It's awesome. - Because it was bumpy for a while. - It was never bumpy. - It was not really. It was, maybe there was some, like maybe some, a little bit of hurt here and there, but no, I love Bobby so much. - Yeah, yeah, she, you know. - Forever and ever. - She's friends with my girlfriend now. - Yeah, I love his girlfriend, yeah. - Dimitria, right? - Dimitria. - Dimitria. - Dimitria. - Dimitria for sure. - Eastern European. - Yeah. - So the short, let's talk about the short. - Yeah. - What is it called? - It's called Remaincom. - Remaincom, can you watch it on YouTube, right? - Yeah, it's on the Lewis Brothers site right now. It's the same guys that did the Richard Simmons. - Yeah, yeah. - And it's hopefully, well, I think, We're gonna turn into a feature. - That'd be great. - So we're pretty excited about it. It's the Halloween time. - Yeah. - So I thought we'd be cool to do this. - Looks great already. - Looks like very beautiful. - Yeah. Beautiful shot. - We spent like a hundred grand on this fucking show. - No. - Yes, dude. - It looks it. - Yeah. - And it was just, for me, always been a fan of Nick Schwarzen, and I've known him for, what, 20, 30 years. - Yup. - And I was like, fuck, if me and him can play off each other, it'd be sick. - How many days does it take it to shoot this thing? - We took two days. - Two days for me and Nick, and then I think an extra day or two for the other actor. - And would you shoot? - We shot in the valley. - Yeah. - Deep in the valley. - Looks good. - Almost been so fun. It looks great. Look at that. - Yeah. And, yeah, it's pretty cool. - That you? - The monsters. That's me right there. - Looks really good. - Yeah. - Looks so fucking good, dude. - Yeah. And there's monsters, and there's like crazy people in it, and stuff like that. So, yeah. It's pretty cool. So. - Oh, you look great. Oh, this looks great, dude. - Looks well done, yeah. - Yeah. - I'm gonna watch it. I should have watched it last night when you said it. - So, Collider just had the exclusive, which is, you know, pretty big, big movie site, and now it's gonna go everywhere. But this is my first, this is my first interview, I got over like 20 podcasts of requests for me. - Because of this? - Yeah, to promote my short and all, and my comedy special, too. I have a comedy special. - Can people see your comedy special? - That'll be out on November 1st, on Sony PlayStation 5, so that's gonna be cool. Sony's doing, Sony PlayStation is now doing comedy, so you got 75 million kids that- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, on soul? - Yeah, the PlayStation. So, if I have a PlayStation, if I turn it on, what happens? - You'll see me. - You'll go FIFA, war, war, so, holy short. - Can you go to PlayStation right now? - Yeah, sure. - So, just take your Hulu special and put it on PlayStation 5. - You can do that. - You can do that, yes. They have right now, they have Adam Ray stuff, they have Rose Battle, they have a whole bunch of stuff. - Wow. - Because all the kids, as you know, play PlayStation. - I play it. - Yeah, I know. - I love it. - You watch it more than Hulu. - Yeah, do you, what, do you play, you don't play it, do? - Yes, they do. - You play game. - I just got, yeah, I got my council and now I'm playing, yeah. - What do you, what do you play? - I'm playing Warzone 6. - No, you're not playing Warzone. - No. - You know how great, would you set up me and Paulie to play Warzone? - Yeah. - That'd be sick. - That'd be so funny, dude. - Oh my god. - You're not a gamer, though. - I am. - You're honest. - No, no, no, I'm not. - Yeah, you don't play. - No, they just sent it to me, so now I'm going to start fucking with it. - They sent you a PlayStation? - What's the big one, the big one is Grand Theft Auto, it's coming out in November, right? That's going to be big, so we can jerk off together and watch it. So Sony, they're the owners of PlayStation 5. - Yeah, I know that. - So it's like, I've known one for 20 years. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's just Sony on it. - Wow, you're really teaching us a lot of things about it. - Jaime, tell me. - It'd be nice. - It'd be nice. I thought we buried the hatchet, really, man. - So, let me ask you about this, because you taught me about, you go, "Dead, why do you play the cities, do you have to play the smaller cities?" - Yes. - Yeah, that's a bright, what he does is so bright, because, you know, we can all play Chicago in New York or whatever, right? But it's like you're competing with so bright, but one day I want to do what he does and what he could do off cities. - It's probably. - Branson. - Branson. - Spokane. - It's more rural, rural, rural, yeah, it's more rural, yeah, people still have family home video. - I know they do. - It's great. - That's where I used to open for me. - I know, so we used to go to, like, in a forest, that's just a fucking, I sort of got, we're in a, like, those arcs, forest, right, and there's a log cabin, deep in the forest, did, that's where we're playing. And I'm like, whoa, whoo, what? - Were you on the bus when he jumped off the bus? - Jonathan Gottson? - Yeah. - You heard about that, yeah. - No, we called that night, we called you, what happened to Jonathan. So he had, okay. - I remember that, you guys know this? - You guys know this? - Sorry, this is early Tiger Belly days. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So God's sick, one of my good buddies opened for him back in the day, he was great. He was great, and he took some acid by acid. - It made in Georgia. - In Georgia? - Yeah. - And then he's in the tour bus with you, and he told you to stop the tour bus. - No, he didn't tell us to stop, he just jumped off. - Oh, you just-- (laughing) - Oh my God. - Big difference. - So my friends on us, he jumps off your tour bus, this is what I heard. He ran into the forest? - Yes. - Did he make wolf noises? - I don't remember that. - Yeah, yeah. Because I heard that he did wolf noises in the forest. So he took acid, he was a wolf, jumped off the bus, because he didn't want to be around the humans, and then you left him in a hotel, right? - No. (laughing) - In the part of it. - So he jumped off, and then we go get him, obviously. - Man down, it's like a soldier. We can't leave him in the fucking woods. (laughing) So me and Terrell, my security guard member, Terrell-- - Oh, I love the key. - Yeah, Terrell. - Dude, you can pick me up with this fucking, my feet, and just-- (laughing) - Like a cheerleader? - Like a cheerleader, with one hand, dude. - Yeah. - The guy's so big. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So we went in there and Steve Simone, we tracked him down in the woods, and we're like, dude, get on the fucking bus, we found him, like deep in the woods. (laughing) - Night. Night, in the middle of Georgia, dude, on his summer, you know where there's crickets, and you hear like, fucking, I've never been to the South at that time, but it's fucking gnarly. And we say-- - I think everyone-- - I think everywhere has crickets. (laughing) - At that time, in the summer time, they're really about-- - Everywhere has crickets. - Okay. - Okay. - Probably talking about the-- - So give me another, give me another noise that would happen. Because everyone-- - We just self have cicadas, those loud bigs. - Just say cicadas. - cicadas. - Yeah. - So then we finally got him back, we finally got him back on the bus. - Yeah. - And then me and Simone, or we're watching-- - Keep Simone. - We're watching, I think the De Niro movie, "Comedian" or something, where he plays a comedian? - Yeah, "King of New York." - "King of Comedy." - "King of Comedy." - Yeah, we're watching that, and I'm watching Richard Pryor and Sam Candison and all that stuff. And then God said things, we're trying to do something, and he jumps off the bus again. - Oh, wow. - Again, on the other side, and he takes off-- - Well, he's got to see both sides, you know? - Yeah. (laughing) - So we get him, we get him, and then we finally get him on the bus. And the bus driver says, "We can't, it's a liability." So we have to drop him off at the next hotel. - Right, so we took him to the next hotel. - So this is where I come in, that's the four or five in the morning, and I'm talking to God's, he's in a hotel, and he had taken the mattress from the bed, and he bombarded the door. - So he blocked it? - Yeah, because he was on the ass, and no one was going on with him. - I imagine he's on a massive amount of acid, he has no idea who spiked his drink, because he's not a drug. - Oh, he didn't take it voluntarily. - No. - Oh, that's scary. - Yeah, so he's in the psychosis, this-- - He's drugged. - Drugged. Right? He thinks he's a wolf. He also thinks that people are after him, so he's taking the mattress, putting it against the wall. And I'm like, going, how do we get you back to LA? Because, obviously, that was the right thing to do, to keep him in the hotel, because he's talking about that. - But I know, but you left the soldier. - Yeah, you nearly got the soldier. That's right, that's right, Calyla. - No, the bus driver said he can't drive. - Oh, it was the bus driver. - The bus driver. - It's a liability. - A liability. So he put him in there, we paid for his room, and his brother actually lived in Georgia, so he went to pick him up in the morning. - Oh, that's good. - Yeah, he said. - But yeah, I love John. - Yeah, he quit. - After that? - After that. - Yeah, he's a president of a school, and he's like a principal. - Honestly, that would be so traumatizing to me, I would quit too. I think that was-- - But he was here, he's really unique. - Boy, I've never seen it till this day, his style of calmy. - He was very weird, and you know, I mean, just a fucking great calmy on a guy. - But yeah, the road is the road, you know, I've been doing it. You know what's crazy is this year, in 2026, it's my 40th year I've been doing stand-up. - My God. - 40 years. - Wow, that's a lot of small towns. - Cute. - And that's the name of my special, my new special, it's called road calmy, because I'm like the ultimate road calmy. - Yeah, you are. - We've been playing clubs, you know, hyenas, or the improv, or the funny bone, or zany, it's like for years. You know, with Dorfman and Strupp and all these guys, that run these clubs and-- - I love Strupp. - Yeah. - Dave Strupp. - Yeah. - Good guy. - Really? - Really good guy. - Yeah. - But I don't know, you know, I've been playing, but this next year I want to take a little time off to do some more of my-- - Yeah, because you're a good actor. I think you're at the right age, I mean, this is, you know, I'll be honest with you, watching that, I didn't see it, but like just even the visual, visual of it. And then, you know, I know that McCone directed a movie with Andrew, that looks really good too. I think that this is pretty exciting to me, to have comics and independent producers and companies making these, like, little projects is, I think the way it's going to-- - Absolutely. - Yeah, I think it's cool. - I love acting, I miss acting, I'm going to do some more of it, get off the road, and put myself into-- - You should, dude. - Yeah. - I'm also going to get back into acting class. - Actually, monitoring a class tonight, right around the corner. - Well, you're taking a class. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wow. No, no, not my story, just no this other class, I'm a my story. Yeah, so well there you go like this But yeah, and I got some dates. I got Houston punchline and then I'm doing a Whole tour of the east coast back to Detroit your favorite place. The way we place you made me cry Yeah, what yeah Albany Syracuse and then we're gonna be in Rochester and then Buffalo Yeah, yeah, we talked about why he made me crazy. Yeah, I remember, but you can probably Yeah, so he's on the road You know, it's so surprising Paul because you know, you're such a friend and we should have you on more often not six years Don't you think I apologize for that. What did you will get you? I just think it's fun that we're friends I just think it's fun to stick with you Yeah, you know, I look good. You look good there. What a good site first time 2017. That was a first nine years Wow, dude, that was in your apartment. Yeah, I was a living apartment. Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. Yeah, look at that Look how great that is so young How many years ago was this? I say something like almost ten years look how she's looking at mommy. Yes, you love a bunch of love I'm trying to do right. Yes, you're right there and yeah, go to the end. Yeah, smile like that. Yeah, so much fun Anyway, give Paul a round of applause everybody Check me out on tour and here we go. Thanks guys I So what do we leave off? Okay, so Gilbert does a role You do the role and then I'm worried because I'm like Here's did you not like it the showman and me? I a lot do I'm a I'm a showman. You are I got it from you show man Here's where it kind of didn't feel start to feel not good for me. I was always under the impression that you were fighting some guy Who was your weight class and up until he came out. I thought okay. He's fighting a guy. He's at his same size You fought the Northman He was 10 times your size well not only that I heard that you have to cut weight like by the way He was really good and I you know all that no excuses Mason great great great recovery addict. That's why oh amazing amazing story I thought he did amazing, but also that guy easily walks around it like 210, right? Yeah, he looked big But his coach said he was his coach said he's like 190, but I don't know if I believe that I would never seen a man with that Made that traps before I don't think he only cut five pounds for when he came out Bobby and I looked at each other and we said oh Can I tell you something when I found out my original opponent dropped out? I was supposed to be at 175 pounds and then they sent me this new guy But my coach was like honestly dude. You're so fast any you can find anyone you'll be good So he made me confident, but when I did the way and I went what the fuck is this guy? I'm like looking up. Well a lot taller than you bigger than you and always possible and also he had like Sorry, yo, this is like not a noctu but you have like a sleeper build, right? Like this guy was like I have a belly, but this guy was like hard. Oh, I felt it when he grabbed my neck. I was like This is so much weight But that's how that's not what I saw what I saw was a guy shotgun and driving in there. Yeah, I saw a guy Shunk it in jivey. Yeah, yeah, I saw I was a dive turkey. Yeah, I saw you go in and out right be evasive That wasn't even the game plan. I know, but you're also landing landing real shots Yeah, I felt I was watch this opening move here. So this oh god I can't watch this spinning back kick. Yeah, boom. Oh, whoa, whoa That's pure karate dude. I wasn't supposed to do this. Look at this. I was supposed to do this at all I was like Gilbert. You're keep your fucking hands up dude. I heard everyone yell Nick y'all keep your fucking hands up Stop fucking around. So good to look at this stuff, dude Now what is response online? Have you people seen online people? I appreciate everyone responding. They're all like fuck, dude This makes me want to like get in there. It's like inspiring. I'm like yeah, everyone should fight the way you make everyone do stand up Thanks, everyone should fight everyone. I'll fight high, man I'll read director draw No guy. Yeah. I'll do it for free for free. No 20. Yeah, yeah, that's so bloody gilb. Honestly, though So there it is. That's a zombie. That's what you cannot someone said you cannot fight someone or there We'll go down if they're recovering at it because they will not that's what I was telling he just kept walking forward And I was like, oh he's eating these shots like pretty well. He's making it Round one you won look at this, but he doesn't go back. He doesn't go back. It doesn't matter He has a lot of weight on him. Yeah, yeah, that was my dominant cruise. I try to look a dominant guy for that But there was okay push pause. So your mom was in the crowd. Yeah, and I didn't come She was actually a lot calmer than me. Bobby was making fun of me the whole time because I was like oh He sent me a hilarious picture of you and if I don't gene hog was there which is hilarious You guys were like like not looking. I not only was I not well I had to go to the bathroom and like cry after yeah, oh my god Like you think I was like too like overwhelmed you were you guys are nervous for him or no? Yes, I was like so nervous. You made me feel proud. You always proud. No, I was that's what it was It was like I it was a culmination of being like so proud and then also a relief that he was just like it was over with and he was okay That was pure pride, but I appreciate pure pride pride You made me feel actually calm because you know how I was so intense because I'm not much day and that's will always be true I was warming up. Yeah, you brought you made the room go. Okay. We're all laughing. It's all chill Let's just relax for a while. I have chill vibes. Do I believe it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so um my coach yelled at me after the first round He did yeah, he goes stop fucking around. We don't play we don't do this. Yeah, I yelled at him too when he was fighting Yeah, he was at one point. I see him like circling around and he's like looking it out I wasn't trying and I literally go pay the fuck attention That you're crazy. You're a crazy person for playing around like that I thought I was like oh my fucking god. Like you really are a performer. It wasn't I did not plan it I was you hunger games it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was televised you pretended like the world was watching Yeah, yeah, no, it was watching nobody watch it. Yeah, yeah, but my sister was on live stream. Okay, she was no people saw it though I'm getting a lot of comments people say I'm proud of Gilbert. Oh, yeah, I'm so proud of you I was so I will say that the actually saddest I felt was right when I got knocked down and I was still fighting with the ref stop That I was so pissed and I looked at everyone. I was like I fucking cannot believe I didn't get the win. I was like this is crazy Everyone's here and I did not get the double. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. That's what pissed me off I was like fuck yeah, but I I made one mistake. Yeah, yeah, my sister goes why were you head hunting in the last round? Yeah, yeah, I wanted to I had a celebration dance is Gabby gonna fight. I didn't convince her to Yeah, they want to do a brother sister card in Hawaii. Oh, we're gonna fight other brother sister But David was like Hawaii. Do you know those girls can scrap? We got to go this one you got we're going Yeah, yeah when he got need in the nuts. Oh, yeah, you did that he he did get a that was hard Hey, you know what? I will say I told Jean Hong right in that second like I hope he milks this as long as possible to catch his breath I could I knew so when I was because we were me and Nick were right on the cage right for it And so Gilbert gets hit in the nuts and he's walking around but he walks right past this And he kind of goes like this real quick and he goes fuck He's not hurt. I just have to go get tired dude, but you know what he he appreciated it. He got to rest it Yeah, cuz I think that you know a nice little nap in between felt nice. We'll hear watch. We'll see. I'll show you guys The only reason why Gilbert fell Is right here and this is the view I didn't see so when he throws his cross watches back foot It's still no I didn't plan so I was still aware so that's why I framed though he Throws it. He's still in the air while he gets it. Oh, it wasn't even it's a very short I ran into his hand. Yeah, it was just his his weight was his weight was going forward when his back foot was about to like Switton's a south bar, but you know what get him on him. So oh wait He didn't knock it. It wasn't a true. It was not true. Yeah, no, but he that true blue did the reps did say back It's amateur fights if you go down we have to protect you so no, we will stop it early So I I have to it's not my I lost. I'm glad He's a big boy a big boy like that on time. Give Gilbert a round of applause That was great. I have to say this is the funniest that happened Bobby anytime I for the audience obviously produced his party guys So anytime I get a call from Bob. I already know it's like all right. He wants to cancel the podcast I have to make excuse or he's pissed about something or blah blah blah He called me at 9 a.m. So I was like oh fuck. What is it? He just goes he giggles and goes are you hurt? You have to do it again a star is born So my fuck everyone wants me to do this again. You have to do it again But why? Because you were good if you were a fool and I think a professional thought I'm not trying to be a professor It doesn't matter. You have to win. You can't do one fight and lose. You have to win one That's what David said and TJ Dillish. I was like come on dude. Go one and one But also like would you actually walk away if you feel that rush of the win? I don't think so Because I work on Dom's pod and we had to do and so we had it set up. - And right after. - Daniel Shaw has watched, he's been a guest on the other podcast and he said, "You have to do it again." - You think if you win though that you'd be able to walk away? - Yeah, I'm not trying to be a fighter. I will say if I do it again, this walkout of performance is gonna be, I'm gonna be a gospel choir. I'm doing a marching band. We're doing the hall of thru flips too. - Can I twist on a cheerleader with pom-poms? - Can I just one more thing? Like, can you not say yes to a matchup that's like where you have to go up and wait for it? - Oh, I would go down. So I waited at 179 with close. He was 185 and then shirtless. I would probably fight at 155. - Okay. - I think I can do it too. - Do you wanna do it? Am I trained for it? - What's it? - It's a 20 week program. Why are you looking at a 20 week? What? - Nope. - What's your background in any kind of martial art? - What's your combat sport background? - Nothing. - But that's who it's made for. - That's who this program's made for. - They'll call you the armadillo. - A guy choked me and sent me. - Okay. - Anyway. - Wait, for real, a 20 week program? - Yeah, that's what the program's made for. - It's a loose weight. It used to be called from couch to cage or whatever, but it's-- - I weighed 216 pounds at the beginning of the year. - How much do you weigh now? - 179. - I weigh 213 right now. - Okay. - Anyway. (laughing) - Let's do that. - Let's do that. - Thanks guys. Appreciate the support.