937. - Paul W. Downs

Alright, this episode of Hellongon is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from the Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. That sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international, global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. Alright, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. [Music] How long gone? Super Tuesday, then, jeans will scoochy. Yeah, sorry, I came on a little bit late. It's shipping and receiving day here at KFO Industries. Got some shoots coming up. So I got, I got DHL. I got WorldNet. When are you going to, when are you going to nut up and tell her to do her job? Or is that not really an option? We do her job together, Chris. And, no, I mean, the reason why I'm doing this is because she is on set today. So normally she's receiving all of these things, but today, you know, she's on set and I'm doing a little receiving. So sometimes, you know, I turn the on air sign here, on it, how long gone, and then ding dong, you know what I mean? Ding dong. Ding fucking and ding dong. And these motherfuckers, we need signature photos, last four, or the social on some of these garments, you know. Wait a minute. You got ID on you, sir. We seem to check it. Just give us one second. But yeah, I'm good. I'm good. Still riding high off of our last episode when we were talking about, you know, the ballroom of it all. I know we have a few minutes on the intro, so we can save most of it for our guests. But I was saying, like, maybe a theory is Trump really does just like ball so much. And I've been reading more on it. There's more so like an underground bunker underneath the ballroom with like AI drone control missiles or whatever. But there's a quote they interviewed him after the shooting and he's and Trump said, I see so many tuxedos and beautiful dresses. It was a little different of an evening than we thought, but we're going to do it again. I still think he really does love a beautiful elegant ball. I don't think he knows what elegant means based on what I've seen. I think he I think he does like what you were talking about. Palm Beach elegant. I think yeah, PBL is a different vibe, I think. PBL and industry is I'm not going to I'm not going to disagree with you. I think there's some there's definitely some truth to that. I think that the the reasoning is probably flawed somehow if we get into it as far as like why he actually likes it. It's not going to be like because the chicks look hot and dresses and I look good in a texito. You know what I mean? It's going to be something a little more sinister. I want it to be no, I want it to be like a deep childhood trauma thing when he was a kid. And you know, he would have to go to these balls all the time and the ball is the only time where mommy and daddy aren't hitting me or whatever. You know, whatever it is. So that's why he love really believes that ballrooms will will make the world heal a guy. I think there could it's I mean his father hates him. So his mom probably hates him too. So there could be something. His dad was at the ball all the you know, who knows fundraising events. And then also a call back to the Scientology speed running a front of the show. A seam old DJ friend of mine. He he mentioned that now all these groups of teams are trying to break into the Church of Scientology. This is the perfect sort of vehicle for Tom Cruise to bring back one more mission impossible. He has to defend HQ against all these edgers in in Yoshi. I mean, Busy costumes. Like I honestly don't even know how to respond to that. I can't I can't talk about furry stuff. Like Yoshi's like that kind of stuff. I just I get lost a little bit. I don't know because I don't know how to feel about it because I want people to be able to express themselves however they want. Okay. But also you're a disgusting freak. So it's a little bit of it's tough for me personally. What's the age cut off? What's the furry age cut off? Because every once in a while, you know, you're hanging out. Oh, you know, my kid identifies as a hedgehog this week. We just kind of go along with it versus like my kid is a hedgehog full life. Like we're talking about it. I think it's probably it feels like I don't know. Fifteen. I feel like it's I feel like every state had a furry age of consent. They should be worried more about that than some shit they worried about. You think I'd give a fuck about it? Trans athlete. Get these furries off the fucking streets, bro. I don't care who's swimming. Who gives a fuck? They got it all fucked up. They got us fucked up. To the fur Olympics, I'll be tuning into that shit. I'll get peacock plus for that shit. How much we got to pay for the fur Olympics? I was reading something maybe a month ago and the discourse was that, you know, people are sleeping on furries, but a lot of them are like quite wealthy and really loaded with these sort of baller lifestyles. They rent out these elaborate like white lotus resort mansions and they take over the whole shit. I think we to I that's the part we forget. I definitely agree. I think that rich people are the only ones that can afford to act that stupid. Like if you own a fucking very successful, you know, shipping company in in Wisconsin and you got millions of dollars and you're a little freak, then you can do, you know, who cares? Like that's, you know, there's nothing else to live for. It's one of those things you meet him at the dinner party and you're like, well, that's a really interesting you were so boring before and now I found out that you're a furry that makes you really interesting. I also don't have any further questions. I don't have no real desire to explore that very interesting theme that defines you. I don't want to share I don't want to share this butter with you at all just so you just so we're clear. I don't know where the hands have been. Let's hair in my split pee. Is that fur? I'm a double-hour genic. Don't worry, don't worry. I got fur in my barada. I heard I heard I heard Matt Bellany talking about being at the thing. It was so funny. He was talking about being at the course monster and he's like, yeah, you know, I was there with my kid and then you know, I went back to hotel and the the nerdy guy from Bloomberg was like, oh, were you was the kid? He's like, nice, fine, whatever. He just completely was like, now whatever we explained it to him. But he kept calling it a barada salad, which I don't, like obviously I'm not an expert here, but I've never heard, is that a phrase that because I know what barada is, I know what salad is, a barada salad sounds like barada sitting on top of some unnecessary greens or am I mistaken? Is there a barada? No, I don't think you're mistaken, Chris. I think a barada is is an ingredient in a salad. Got it. But to call it a barada salad, I think what they just mean it's probably some version of like a caprese salad. Sure. But it has the barada instead of the mozzarella. Okay. Which is just a ball of mozzarella fresh that's been injected like my red with just some simple heavy whipping cream, some Italian cream. So that shit, of course, gets all gushy on the inside. I was just sexy red song. I was just, I was like, I don't think that's correct. You know, I don't, Matt, Matt's not a foodie. You know, I mean, he's too busy talking about the paramount takeover or whatever, but I was he's got one, one, he's got one headphone in, he's got an AM radio for the angel game. That's a real talk that he's he's only half podcasting because he's on MLB.com checking the checking the boxes. Yeah, Matt, he's over, he's at the bar. He's like, you get no Michelin Boltrus at all. Okay. What kind of fucking dinner is this? You're going to make me barada with no Michelin Boltrus. This is fucking bullshit. I can't do both now. I like a pairing. You know that cash, but I was placed this cash. I like, I like it. I haven't heard cash in a while. I got to say we got a very bad back. That's good. It's places fucking cash. That's good. I agree. So what's going on? Yeah, I was I was one one cooking thing. All that barada got me thinking. I'm always predicting what's the next food trend. We have all these man azes and sauces. We got truffle the truffle sauces, the eight, the mullibas man aes and things. I'm thinking gravy is going to be the next sauce. We're going to we're going to realize that gravy is actually very good for you. Nobody nobody wants that, bro. Gravy is gravy gravy. And maybe I'm maybe I'm mistaken. This is my own trauma. It's a protein sauce, but it's it feels it feels too fat boy to make a comeback right now. Even though I know that it's necessarily not pouring a heavy brown sauce on top of your your food feels fat boy. It's virtually fat. It's virtually fat no matter what the truth is. I agree, but I think there's a lot of people out there who want that spiritually fatty kick of an anxious gravy. Do not say do not say anxious gravy. God damn it. It sounded like boy boy. Come on, bro. I'm just gravy. What the fuck? That sounds like that sounds like a guy hoping for MF doom, bro. You can't be talking about anxious gravy like that. They they they did like the Pacific Northwest with primus in 97. No, it was a short run. It was like Seattle. No, but you can be you can you can you can make gravy. Oh, I know. You know, you can you can get some like arawan bone broth rich with minerals and collagen for all of our all of our female listeners right there who have removed all of the fat from their face. Get it get it back in there and it has all that flavor of the protein. You just add in a little cornstarch, you know, just like a fucking a gator tails, bumps worth of cornstarch. It thickens up not too much. And cornstarch is basic, you know, yeah, sure. A quarter, you know, half a teaspoon is not going to it has like 10 calories. No, it's a freebie. Okay. Well, I watch the space. I'm going to be innovating. Maybe I'll make a gravy video soon, but we need to take gravy back. I don't know. Let me just we're sleeping on. I would say maybe wait. I know the you have your predictions but I would say gravy as we move into the warmer months is even less likely. Timings not perfect. Timings not great. Maybe you should help this one until North Face season but also I love a challenge. Sure. It's like it's summer gravy right? Exactly. It's like when you go to the Middle East and it's 150 degrees and they want you to drink hot tea because it cools you know I'm sure it's true. I'm sure it's true but I don't really I don't know if I personally believe that. I'm sure. After the beach volleyball session we're going to go no fish tacos guys. Exactly. No chips and guac. We're going to cool down with a nice bison gravy. Fuck also I mean could a gravy in a in a Stanley could that replace sort of the bone broth of today. That's a question. All right. We got a guest today. These publicists can't leave us alone. Paul W. Downs is joining us. He knows him from a hacks. He's one of the greats one of our favorite one of our favorite shows here on How Long Gone. But he also went to Duke University which I want to hear his if he got any Southern flavor. Such a fucking blue double now. If he picked up any Southern flavor down there or not. It feels like if he has he's shaking it all off completely. I know he was a swimmer when he was younger. I hope he made the Duke squad. I think it was more for improv but you know swimming is swimming is improv in itself. I got into Duke full improv ride. Yeah. God imaginative. Coll just started giving fucking improv scholarships. What a nightmare. Oh God. All right. Let's give let's give a let's give Paul a call. Yeah. And my improv team is going to get fucking smoked in that conference. Bro, you know who we're going. We're going up against. We got the Oregon ducks next week and you know they're they're. They're. Yeah. We're supposed to go against Michigan. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by task rabbit. Oh, baby. Let's tell you something. This is this is not a joke. I use task rabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need you need some art hang hung task rabbit. You need to you need to fucking something put together a cabinet got a reach reach that she's greater on the top shelf task rabbit anything anything you need task rabbit can take care of before you and I mean it what how it works task rabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. It can assemble furniture repairs yard work mounting and more. You can search for tasker based on cost skill set availability and pass client reviews. You know exactly showing up and kind of confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture completed 700,000 home repairs handled 1.5 million moves and the numbers are just going up Jason. Mm hmm. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. 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Obviously Jason you and I spent a lot of time in the world web so to all our peers our listeners our friends our colleagues maybe even your parents if they're freaky and if you're doing anything in the world writing taking pictures I do topless boxing you need a website exactly a website that works that does what it's supposed to do that allows you to be creative but also business minded Jason there's one place to go for that square space. Yeah Chris I'm over here I'm modifying calculators and putting cloth inside of them so you could cheat at school and I just want a place where I could you know have everything all in one place I can have the SEO tools so those future graduates can find me and you know I'm able to accept quote unquote donations from my services that might be gray area you know what I mean and then email campaigns I had got a new up you know 2.3 version upgrade boom boom boom get the analytics going raise some money you know show your investor all of your cool analytics of what's going on they're going to want to get in early and we can use blueprint AI to make your website look as professional as your competition if not more so head to squarespace.com/howlong for a free trial when you're ready to launch use offer code how long to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. You share a laptop with your with your chain no you know what happened I had a big game I have a lot of adrenaline searching because there was a big game this morning and by that I mean it was a there was an online auction but I've been dedicated to so luchia set up the pod scenario for me very kindly okay did the auction did the auction and the podcast episode workout timing wise or did we have to pull out no you know the final lot that I was interested in just went so it's okay we're done I don't I don't I before we I don't want to know anything about it scale of 1 to 10 how gay is this item that was being auctioned oh great question I think yeah you know I think I'm going to give it a 4 okay it's 10 is the game I wanted to lease it because it was it's a it's a lot so we have several items to choose from for the scale is that what you're doing no no no it's a it's a single item the one that at least of the very last lot but it's an item attributed to Pablo Picasso who I think was maybe the least gay even though one could argue that his work well I think when you fuck that many chicks you almost are gay it turns into like you've hit the end Pablo infamous stickman but also on the other hand art itself kind of gay so you know they kind of even think that right himself is culture is in culture gay so there we go yeah absolutely right and you're right you're right Chris he me thinks he'd opt for test too much it's like oh wow you fucked all these chicks okay you only need one right that's right yeah that's right you only need one and that's why I've only had sex with one woman so what did you so did was it a ceramic was it a ceramic it was a ceramic it was a ceramic great yes it was a ceramic it was a Picasso plate there was there were several ceramics and I gotta tell you something I don't want to I should gatekeep but they are climbing okay the ceramics they are you know I know you're going out you should gatekeep Pablo Picasso's or ceramic specifically ceramics specifically cat might be out of the bag ceramics are okay so are you have some already or was this your first toe in the water unfortunately I do have an affliction I do have some okay so you're spending this money okay you're spending money I like to see this but it is as you said it is accessible this is the last season bro you better chill out now you don't know what's next a friend of mine said you know it's the last season you should really like I don't really wear watch to I don't really have a watch he's like you got to invest in a watch you it's like celebrate the season and I was like I might invest in a plate okay we need a new dish in the guest bath and I think I'm leaning that way that's the thing it's a great in a power room it's great in a counter room it is I would agree with you I think a watch is a predictable way for a man to spend money I think a Picasso plate is a nice surprise for everybody imagine HBO go logo on the Rolex right there for the whole cast and crew not bad okay get the get one of the old logos for the cast and crew wow you are generous that's wow I mean lot of him he's a football player and he's buying fucking he's buying hummers for his whole defensive line that's not really stick to the C suite stick to the C suite then when we're going to yeah yeah yeah yeah that is okay so are you an auction guy for other stuff too or is it particularly art and and collectibles and antiques I am an auction I mean I'll even look at a car on an auction not that I've ever gone there I haven't committed to a car but I my parents are a little bit auction junkies and I've inherited the really the vice what do they what are they copying you name it or they have they have things they're usually usually like primitive colonial American furniture is their thing okay are they American pickers they aren't honestly they are pickers I I would not I mean it would be rare you're son of a picker man I'm a son of a picker man you wouldn't say that you wouldn't say that to your dad's face but you're saying it on the pocket I would I would I he would probably say I'm a picker oh he was a proud picker if you pass if you pass something of value that's been left out in a suburban neighborhood in New Jersey we're softened to look at it we're softened to take out the measuring tape were you were you going to were you going to to to sales like Saturday mornings like the yeah like in a state sale so funny so my my wife is like we can take our son we have a toddler to this auction because there was no auction in downtown LA um Jason maybe you know it billings there was an auction at billings mm-hmm mm-hmm so sure I was like I can tell you that we probably shouldn't because I remember being brought to these and like being so bored out of my mind it's yeah for a kid for a kid but I'll tell you what luchia we probably shouldn't the public shouldn't the public shouldn't and also don't bring a kid downtown you know okay there you go jury duty maybe I mean less unless you're trying to trade him for something you know what I mean because then it could be I don't know what you know don't don't explore the new D line on the metro rail with with little downs little downs okay so I'm I'm painting the pictures being painted you know it's the it's the 90s new jersey yeah you and the you and the parents walk me through the donut and coffee story on those on those pickin missions um well I feel like you're a donut junkie you feel like I'm a donut junkie so funny do you know I kind of am is it I'm like are you have you done you have you done your research I'm not a donut junkie I'm a glow nut junkie okay do you guys know glow nut so the so the the glow nut like - Like the healthy alternative. - Glow that the one for women? The donut for women like Chris. Oh wow. Okay. I feel as though donuts are not gendered I do not think they're gender specific. I will say it is an ombre pink package So there is there is something You could have just said ombre didn't have to say the pink Okay, well, I was just wondering if the glow nut obsession was sort of like I grew up eating you know Maple bars my whole life and then I had to quit when I moved to Hollywood now thankfully I'm able to scratch the itch with my glow but before you were not really caring about a donut Not really. I mean I would have an old-fashioned. You know there would be like some like What do you call it like the cinnamon sugary kind of donuts? I like those. I always like those I like things that could have that could have existed 400 years ago. I do like desserts that like Grandmas like okay typically so much like your parents. You enjoy primitive art. I believe food isn't art That's right. That's right. I'm a history bus. Yeah. What's it? What are some primitive does yeah? Yeah, yeah I don't know what this just eating a berry off of a tree. No, we're talking like plum pudding. You know with hard sauce I know I'm pudding. Yeah, but you know, but you're you saying you would if you had a let's say a chocolate peanut butter pie in front of you And a plum pudding in front of you your reason for the plum nine out of 10 times You know, I think I am. I know I know guys that's cool No, no, I'm glad that you know yourself and you recognize your interests I do know myself. I do but you're right. I am now on glow nuts because I you know The truth is that I was addicted to a drink from synabon from many many many years called the mokalata chill The mokalata chill is like 1200 calories of like Gear deli chocolate and caffeine and I had it like in truly like elementary school. I used to get that Sure, I'm sorry. Can you say the name what can you say the name one more time? Because it's three words mokalata chill one word mochita eight not latte a lot of the mokalata because it's not a lot of technically. It's just it's just A mokalata. There's a lot of mokalata. Okay, which comes with like a huge amount of whipped cream And I and they like sprinkle some of the mokalata mix onto the whipped cream. You know, I was asking for a ton of that It's like go. Yeah, it was it was cracked for children So they they have like the big pepper grinder with that cinnamon sugar blasts and they go say when You go bitch keep going you're going So you said you have this as a child in elementary school So you're you're this many years old and your mom is like I'm gonna buy you a 1200 calorie caffeine bomb once it once a week I was very well behaved and did well in school, you know, so I did get I did get sugar Sure, you bring home all these we're gonna we're gonna let you kill yourself with chocolate and cashier But I kind of oh, dude and so now I am into I now I'm into like the healthy Okay, so you the healthy fake dessert, which hands the glow now I'm into the fake stuff. Okay, I understand I had a I had my wife brought home a bag of Was seemed to be chocolate covered Cheerios last night from happier groucher and I made fun of them because they were They were so stupid like health food store dessert and then she told me they cost $18 And then I tasted them and unfortunately kind of good, you know, and absolutely with a glow not a glow nut is not gonna touch a Cinebon, yeah, you know, it's not gonna tell it's not gonna tell but it's it's not bad. It's not bad It's incredible. It's why I wake up in the morning and I have to say it's happier groucher than one that's on Orchard canal. Okay canal. Maybe there's one on orchard. I don't know. Maybe you've been there before it I'm sure I imagine that they would be one of the few places in New York that would carry glow nuts. Oh, they're going on You for sure. Yeah, okay, no question. I haven't checked but I can say with certainty. Okay. Well go get them because they're out of business Anyway, it's too sad. We shouldn't really do so glow nuts is going on a business. It is out of it I heard I heard this but is it voluntary or is it I think it? Business is so bad great question. I think to break into the specialty food market a lot of CPG listeners right now Big grocery is really is really challenging. So I think it was a little bit of like The market so many skews right now the skew wars. It's hard. Why don't you have a little business? I mean, I know you have this TV thing But what about some other where you put in this money besides ceramics like you got to open something or start something You're so you're so right. I did think can I save glow nuts and then I was like what am I doing? I'm not Yeah, I can't get a specialty health. I don't think you need to buy a distressed asset. I think you could start from scratch I think that's where you're at. I think you could take one of your interests and really package it up and sell it to the masses Yeah, never use your own money for that you'd have to wrangle up some investors your agency your agents It will amores or C.A. Do something called packaging. That's right capital super cheap right now So I think it's a good time to move they could put you together with a creator who could kind of make this happen for you It's so true. It's so true. Well, I'm gonna get on that. Now that I have time now that hatches done I can start thinking about why you see because I'm sure you've seen Glenn Powell's sauce collection Have you seen that or no? I haven't can you believe I have I'm gonna get under a rock glends making ketchup barbecue sauce Mustards etc. Okay. He's doing the Paul Newman thing. Okay. He's doing the Paul Newman thing The Paul Newman's for like guys like us though, you know what I mean very leading man. It's more of a conceal in carry Paul Newman, you know what I mean? But it's in the in spirit. Yes, he is doing a Paul Newman's coach. Oh, this is more of a stage coach Yeah, this is a stage coach business. Yeah, is this stage right? Okay I mean honestly it'll do really well. I'm sure and I bet it's not isn't wasn't Newman's for Partially for charity or something all all for sure We've told the story on the pod before but the famous thing is that he made Salad dressings in his bathtub and gave them out for Christmas presents to his neighbors and one of his neighbors was Martha Stewart And she told him that he should do it turn into a business and then it did he did and then it exploded And he said can I just get paid in pussy and they're like yeah, sure All tabs returned to Martha Stewart. I mean that woman. Mm-hmm. Her self-made billionaire. I was with her I was with her over the week. I was with her over the weekend at this hotel Opening in Italy. Oh, okay. That's the dream. You didn't you didn't say Martha was there Chris. Martha was there She was only there for half the time but Martha was there and She really really travels with like a three executive gaze and it's a nice it's a nice mix You know like one guy's here for this one guys here for you know they're all in the pictures together But she's never alone and I think that's why she's got so much a spunk right she's still so with it is because she's going back and forth That these queens 24 hours a day. Wow and you've and you've met her before I know that I met her a couple times Yeah, she's around I've heard that she's she's around she was in she was in Milan for Salona Jason because she was Doing something with color the sink brand of course, but a lot of the good people had color excellent good sink I'm glad you're calling she's the face of color one of the faces of color I'm sure you have several colors in your many faces. Yeah, they build a nice little faucet So so much like Deborah Vance on your TV show hacks surrounded by a gaggle of executive gaze You're not really an iconic diva If you don't have that right cuz like you can't imagine Mariah Carey walking down the street Dole-o, you know walking the dog. She's got to have oh she's got three at least yeah, I actually This sounds bright, but I was at a party once that she came to at someone's home. Mariah Carey. Thank you for making that This wasn't not the eagle. It wasn't at the eagle sweetie. Yeah, this is at a private resident. Yeah, it was a someone's home This is pretty good and she came in with I think her security detail who Moved furniture to create a VIP area for her to sit at I'm not kidding in the living room Like a loves the move to chair and then there was like a little area dude. That is good stuff right there I've never told that story, but that's true the gun effect the question is the real question is a Madonna a Mariah Carey A Deborah Vance could we get this it can we find the buff scary security guards that are also gay So therefore you have it's a one stop you know That's actually a great character that should have been an axe that isn't amazing We need muscle, but we still can't we can't afford to have a system like a navy seal that's out of the closet now Yeah, you know what I mean like post it's it's a there's nothing there we go That's a navy autocris it's a navy otters what we call those There's something there. There's something there seal team slay. I'm so pissed that we have no more seasons the sucks. That is so good Yes, what I'm six and a half has just been written right here guys. I'm proud of you I'm proud of you guys for going out when the kittens good. I feel like that's what I feel like this is becoming a little bit of a trend in Hollywood where people know We ain't in that we ain't in it ain't must see TV anymore. You ain't got 12 of these in you right you got five and you gotta go Yeah, yeah, leave them wanting more I think is the is the thing but you know there are shows that have been on for many many many many years and good for them Yeah, I love Shelton as much as you do, but I'm just saying you know like it's you know it's not yeah I feel like it's it feels very abc it feels very network television when when Frazier was on every week It was a different time, you know We were demanded much less of our weekly television program, you know, that's right even though a fantastic program great program I mean of course of course one of the greats, but you know that was in a that was in a pre classic or trash pre My attention span is destroyed. Why am I gonna watch this when I have you know hot guys on my Instagram or girls? That's right. Yeah, that's right. Yeah to look at it's hard. It's hard to compete now. Have you really been horror yourself out? That's my best stop. We were like oh, yeah, so hard to compete, which is why we quit our jobs. Yeah Well, I don't think look I don't think of hacks as something that's competing with only fans creators necessarily, but I see where you're coming from. Yes No, no, no, it's a name bee. I think also for our if we were like, you know, unlearned creation We didn't want to do something that was so much as sitcom where the characters didn't change and you could just do it a million times We really pitched like the full art and so we were like you know what she is gonna get there and After that it would have to become a sitcom like it would become a different show So you're saying well you went in first time you like here's the fucking plan like this is the whole thing We pitched the last episode in in every pitch except for hgmax because they Again, this sounds very self-aggrandizing, but they stopped us and we're like we get it We like to make it before we told them the ad must be nice. You know what stop right there stop right there It was very nice. It was very nice. So so basically you're getting a you you got a blowjob and you're like okay And then I'm gonna reciprocate and they're like No, no, no, no, sucking your dick was good enough. That's all I needed. It's easy for something that to go to your head. We're done here. Send over the paperwork. You know, to his or her own, if it gets you off great. OK, was that beneficial in terms of like the like was was the finale? The last episode going to be something that required, you know, a big lift, budgetary wise or, you know, cameo wise or location wise that maybe they signed up for. Yes. I mean before knowing what it was. There was there was we did shoot in France for some of it. So yes, there was that. But you're like, by the way, we have to rent out Madison Square Garden for the kind of kind of. Yeah. I don't want to spoil, but we did. We did rent out a pretty major venue for the record. I have not seen you sent me the episodes, but I'm watching in real time every week. Thank you. You know, right? I have to I can't I didn't all there. So these fucking stupid screening. They're too hard to deal with. Oh, I don't even. Honestly, I don't even care. I can't use it. I got it. It is. I wish it were more user friendly. Music is the same way. I really think that there's something Netflix does it where you just use Netflix. That's really good. And like I think I we've said this before in the show Spotify or Apple music should do this for music. It would be genius if you just I don't know why no one has done this or tried to feel so cool. It's like the go on Netflix and there's like, here's what the regular people see. It's kind of great out. And then you because you have a dumb podcast, you get to watch this now. Isn't that cool? That's amazing. They should absolutely do that. Yeah. No, it's true. I've even like when we get screeners for screen actor skilled or DJ, it is like now now it's getting better. Now there are like there are apps. I mean, just go on and do it. But it used to be it's like. They're not saying I'm saying that in with music, which is more what I'm attuned to. There are three or four different ones. Right. And they're all fine. Like you have to doubt it's just not part of your life. Right. That's the. Totally. You mean pretty advanced. Yeah. For an event. Yeah. Like somebody sends you the record three months ahead and it's like, all right. Well, let me use this shitty. It's like an email and you have to, you know, it's just a lot. I know. I can't listen to it any place you would ever listen to music. You just have to sit. It's like if they sit instead of sending a screener, they send you like a small 19 inch TV and it has a built-in chair and you have to sit in that to watch all nine episodes or whatever. What a fun experience. It's great. Well, speaking of Las Vegas, I was just there recently and I like that you filmed that episode in what's it called? Potato. Oh, the washing potato at the Fountain Blue. The washing potato, which is right looking restaurant. It was funny because Carolyn and I my wife, we went there a few weeks ago to a restaurant opening. Hantina Contra Mar at the beautiful Fountain Blue. Oh, yes. I know. You know, well, of course, I only know because the Fountain is my home with from home. And I know what they're up to. Sure. I know. So, what are your numbers of the blue crew and are you a Poodle room? Are you a Poodle room member? I'm not a member, but I was able to visit the Poodle room. Okay. There was a live concert by what's his name, Chris? Gavin DeGroh. Oh, yeah. Of course. Gavin DeGroh live in concert. He has a little jazzy. You know, him and some of his old dogs out there tickling the ivories. I'm sorry for the uninitiated. The Poodle room is a members club at the Fountain Blue property in Las Vegas. It's like a little slice of the San Vicente bungalows in Vegas. You go up to the top of the elevator to the penthouse suite. They put a sticker over your phone and it's like a speakeasy ballers lounge. I like that. But everybody in there is ugly. Is that the, because it's Vegas or is that, is that different? They're less attractive than the LA location of the San Vicente bungalows. Okay. But so Paul, you're a member, you're after spending so much of HBAs money staying in the suite. They've allowed you to come. They have offered me a bunch of access. So I am a member if you ever want to go let me know. Honestly, you can use my pen. You can get in. Do you think you will ever go back to Las Vegas again as long as you live though? Is the question. That's a great question. I am going back in like three weeks. I'll be back here in three weeks. But not for fun. I'm going to have blast. I mean, it's for it's Megan. I are presenting at the AMAs. So I'm going back to that. The American Music Awards. In Vegas, I would go to that. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds fine, actually. Who's performing? Let me guess. Do you have any guest list? No, I don't even know. I don't even know what category I'm performing at. The things are still taking shape. Sure. Sure, of course. Of course. You have the American Music Awards, guys, out there. Super last minute. Okay. Well, you've spent a lot of time in Vegas over the last number of years. And there's a lot of, you know, the discourse around Vegas is like it's sort of in the shitter. Money's not coming in. Tourism's not coming in. Tourism is down. Have you thought about how you would fix Las Vegas? What you think Las Vegas might need and are you showing that in your episodes of Hacks? You know we are. We are. We've actually alluded to this. One thing that happens is these and actually is that they're trying to open a boutique hotel casino. You know, that's not like a huge conglomerate. That's not like the fair that you've got. Finally, a casino for guys like us. That's exactly right. So I do think that would be a great move. But then again, I'm not sure if I have my finger on the pulse because the font and the news to be a non-smoking casino and that did not work. I loved it. I was like, this is great. It smells great in here. You know, it's like so. But people want to go and gambling. Yeah. You know, last six. No, actually when I was there, it went away with that and it did more traffic, you know. I was smoking in the casino at the fountain blue like a month ago and I had to look around and see if it was allowed because it felt like it was too clean and non-smoky. I know. It was the only person. It is not welcome. It is not welcome. I think that making a show about Las Vegas in general is the board of tourism should be paying you for that. That's an advertisement in itself. It's no oceans 12, but yeah, I mean, are you a little juxtain to the town? Can you give me a Friday night, eight o'clock at Carbone Riviera or what? I bet you I could. I bet you I could. I will say I have some, my relationship is kind of deep now with the, with Bellagio and with Caesar's and with the Sanjo. But I don't know if they that's a hospitality sound and they are also welcoming and so nice. I am like their pros. Honestly from day one day to work so welcoming and nice every single person, the tourism board. I mean, they they know how to entertain and welcome guests. But you would you would go home as soon as you could. The last time we were there, we stayed two weeks and we just didn't leave. You stayed for the because most people the actors will leave on the weekends because they're like, I have to go home to my family. I tell you what, I don't. They didn't anymore. We did that season one and two. We were like, we're going to do this quickly. We're going to go in and out. We grew to love it and it's truly a home away from home. I'm not kidding. And this is not like, I could see that. I could see you having Stockholm syndrome. We really stayed. It was great. And especially now that like, I don't know, there's so many good restaurants there. You can actually get great food. The thing that happens is your lips fall off like you become absolutely risen. You absolutely, you shed hair. Your lips become cracked. Like human life isn't supposed to be there. It's the heat and the dryness. It's not meant for life. The air conditioning is pumping so strongly because the climate outside is so punishing that. Even just two days there, you feel your body's chemistry changing. Now, would you bring the 9/11 from LA and kind of get outside the city on the weekends or were you just landlocked? We were landlocked. Very landlocked. We were stuck there. And you know, like marathon runners, like their nipples bleed. It's like, that happens after two days of being there. It is crazy. It is really intense. But otherwise, you know, the entertainment, the food, the people, it was great. Okay. I'm sure you saw a lot of shows. I'm sure you're really. You know, I saw I saw a lot of the atmosphere, which I got to tell you was amazing. We had a blast. But I didn't see I didn't do like, like a weird sex circuit or whatever. We didn't go. We didn't go to any of those. And you go to water fucking by Cirque du Soleil. No, we didn't go to water fucking. We didn't do. I think our crew went to see David Copperfield, I think. Yeah, that's, that feels like a classic kind of move. You know, I mean, if Cirque du Soleil sold out. Epstein Island's David Copperfield, one of the greats, right? Well, actually speaking of magic, speaking of magic, I noticed that this, or the season, there's a little bit of a theme where you guys sort of, not the entire show, but the main character on the overall. The thrill of the moment is you're taking a stance against magic and magicians. We do. And I know that that community could be a little fierce, you know, not so much, you know, like the BTS stand army, but like have, has big magic come out of the smoke to get your ass. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is Brought to Back Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy, but you know, still put together on like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. You know, they focus on high quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breatheable, linen and soft, organic, cotton, swell made basics, but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated, but still effortless. Yeah, Chris Linnon season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts upgrade that look starting on just $34, you know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. At a quince.com/howlong for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. a nice holiday now available in Canada that is qiuinci.com/howlong that'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns quince buunto calm slash how long this episode of how long gone is brought to you by a new podcast from the guardian stateside with Kai and Carter this is covering a lot of our bases Jason it's a it's trying to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening the world and i know you particularly have quite a lot of questions a lot of questions but how often because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot how many times did they do three times a week and i i i have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do that's just a guess the guardian is not some billionaire owned platform they're not afraid to say what they want to say brother yeah rupert ain't sniffing around in in what journalist Kai write and Carter Sherman are up to over there at at state side but yeah listen wherever you get your podcast you can watch on youtube is three times a week and and who couldn't use more news you know especially especially when it's when it's not you know from here let's say give it give it a listen give it a listen not yet they haven't they haven't disappeared us yet no i haven't been so high-big magic i will say we were at a we were at an event and there was a magician there and we were like oh fuck because it was the the weekend after the episode air group firmly come out against the block was still hot uh-huh so we were nervous we were very very nervous you don't want to be read a mentalist who knows you don't care for magic you know and hey i think some magicians are actually magic and they are wizard so whatever is some or not so wow you really okay well do you so you're saying you personally don't have an anti magician stance or speak on a paul we want you to clarify if you could on the record if you could just clarify it feels like when you said some of them are actually kind of good i didn't really believe you okay okay so sometimes okay okay okay i'm gonna go i'm gonna go back her and say okay short i i i was uh surely so that was talking out of my ass guys i don't know i don't know i um you know how it is sometimes you're like whoa how did they do that and sometimes i don't know sometimes you're like this is absolutely not for me i i wish i had like a very hard line on magic but i have a really hard lot okay well there's it there's a scene there's a scene on the on the most recent episode where where Hannah i'm binder you know this sort of saying something similar to that like you know the poof in the way like she's like it's grand she thinks tricks are very grand yeah she's like did you or did your wife write that dialogue that's a great question i i don't think either of us pitched that i don't know where it came from the writers room i don't know who pitched the classic blame the writers room blame the eight people eating gummy worms all day oh my god i'm giving credit i'm giving credit where it's due in my wife right the show but i don't know who did it it was no must have been believe me i i know i i would love to take credit for it i'd be like it was me that was my idea in my alone but we have seven writers okay plus grand lichia and myself down so there's a bunch of people you know i think there's this i actually have the affliction where i usually think i pitched it which which is really about how but to be like i think i could do as good it was probably me yeah ladies yeah but um but no i don't know where that one came from it's also been it's been a minute like it those two years ago yeah yeah sure sure you know okay when we when we when we are in throwing you let's let's pivot to sports when we're in throwing you Chris mentioned you went to Duke i heard that you used to swimmer as a youngster were you on the were you a blue devil swimmer you know i walked on four week and i was like no it was you know it's do you want it was very intense i was i was captain my swim team in high school and i was a oh competitive but i was not private or public be honest with us private yeah okay but i went to public school through fifth grade my mom's public school teacher while i was just retired now as our a bunch of my aunts and uncles like i come from a public school family but um when i was in sixth grade i'm from a really rural part of New Jersey and i went to a school that had two kids and six two kids and seventh four kids in eighth grade and we were all in one room so my mom was like either you're learning eighth grade material or they're learning six that sounds like weirdly quaker or psionologist or something that does it sound okay i know but it wasn't it wasn't so anyway i did i did go to i'm at school technically accounts okay what was your what was your event 100 meter butterfly okay so if we got in the if we got the pool right now does it come right back to you you know i think i could yes i think i could beat you i so you're asking i wasn't i don't have a swimmer's build i'm more athletic okay so i don't i don't know i'm a little it comes back to a degree but i certainly don't have the stamina i want to i get tired really fast who of us does you're right i feel you brother what's the uh what's the but what was it i always you know when you're a swimmer and i know this is a sport and it's taken seriously but when you're an adolescent wearing a speedo i imagine there's some ribbing going on amongst the team or or was it free and clear because everybody's in the pool unless you have a big cock it's okay yeah yeah but it's not a lot of drag that's not good for your that's not good for your event yeah exactly yeah Paul's like no all the all the guys with big dicks were on water polo we just kind of swam me i was 100 meter butterfly don't worry about me yeah yeah yeah um really cut through the water you know the speedo thing it weirdly becomes a non-issue it's like i guess being part of a nudist calling you're like well this is normal no totally i just i i would always assume that but then when you put the 12 year old mind there right right right i feel like to those two things compute you know what i'm saying that was always mine i guess ironically or pun intended you're jumping into the deep end of locker room life as a as a young child literally and also you know when you're on the swim team and you're if you are feel like if you are actually competitive you're also shaving your body it's kind of it's kind of in it's like because i know you famously have so much body hair especially when you were younger i do have a lot of body here when i was younger luckily like the repeated shavings actually made it much more tame it's not you know it actually it worked it's what they lied to you about that actually yeah it's the opposite of what you think you still you still pick up the blade every once in a while and give a once and just a little see how it feels again yeah i don't but i i really should it would i remember being a very weird sensation yeah how how many years has it been since you've had a full full tuck and roll a full shave like shave all thing competition a competition ready detail job you know i think it was probably my senior year of high school so it's been oh wow seven years yeah i think you and i are exactly the same age i think 43 yes yeah i think okay i will confirm it okay well i i'm glad you're able to go on the record about something thank you for that yeah hey you're right i didn't i i really i really chickened out of magic i'm sorry it's okay we don't have magicians we hopefully we don't have any magicians we'll see it does i hope you do i hope you do they're coming for your ass we got a couple okay let's get in um on the subject of some some eating and some disordered eating i always think about like um you love right when you hear about swimmers you know michael felps eats a whole large pepperoni every day he's got six percent body fat because he's brought so many cows when you're an 18 year old hairless stud swimming through the water what was your caloric intake what were you eating you know what was going on i had a crispy cream jelly donut like every morning i was you know and i was having it with when i was nice go i was having it with like raspberry mocha you know i mean i was i was really again i was like a sugar fanatic i was hoping you were going to say a tall glass a whole milk you know but i i see that that the sugar was more of a draw for you sugar was the draw although i used to you know i used to cream of wheat do you guys know what that is yeah i used to i used to enjoy some cream of wheat you really do have a dichotomy of like a really old guy i know you have a lot of old guys i mean he grew up in in rural New Jersey a lot of that a lot of his parents generation you know he was living that life i was how far from Manhattan are we talking um to get to Manhattan was probably like an hour 45 on the train or car in a car car in a car i think what what we would do is we would drive to the dover train station and take the midtown director it was like another hour and a half and it was like 45 minutes to dover so it was like a two hour ten minute commute if you're really commute when your parents are taking you to the store you know a 15 to see if Louis CK was there exactly we ain't have trains where i was from but my town had a livestock auction every Tuesday that's fun some everybody get together like it really was it is it is a legit rural play thing and what you're new Jersey are like oh it's not rural though i think of beaches and i think of newwork like i don't think of you're right rural is the last thing that comes to mind but obviously makes sense yeah like northwestern New Jersey where i'm from is where like New York New Jersey Pennsylvania met my wife is always saying just say upstate New York because people understand that's like cat skills that's like the appletian trail they go be alive so she's a liar too i see she's like right right your history i hear upstate i think stisting house you know i don't i don't think new Jersey yeah yeah that's it's it's more romantic i would say to say cat skills yeah very much very much yeah but i was near i was like i was closer to the polka nose than i was to Manhattan you know like they always ask you like what's your mall like if you're from New Jersey and you're as small as 50 minutes away but what was closer was woodbury commons premium outlet center of course for us maybe you're familiar i'm very okay so that was like half-hour from my turn okay so you did so you were you were wearing designer your whole life then oh yeah oh yeah i was getting Gucci bell bottoms for like 60 bucks yeah yeah it's cheap it's cheap and i would wear them in high school and i would wear like i like that i like the you sound like you grew up in the 60s that you grew up in the 60s well it was tom Ford air So it was you know, there was like Wow, there was there wasn't there was some player. I was buying Tom Ford Gucci off the rack at the time I see what you're trying to do there. I see what you do keep all of those archival pieces those archival outlet You know, I do have a I do have a couple. I still have a This is crazy that I had this in high school But again because I live by the outlet and because you could go on Christmas Eve things were like 90 percent Oh, they're giving it away. Yeah, yeah, that's cool. Growing it out. They were about to send it to like the island or whatever Or burn or whatever they do so I do have a I do have a Still very oversized never fit me. Don't know why I got a kids was 90 percent off But I have a leather blazer. Yeah, that was like a Tom Ford Gucci air of leather blazer and I have a Purple sweatshirt that has a gigantic Gucci Written across the chest. I still have those and I still wear that one of those is more wearable than the other I'm very much very hard to tailor leather famously hard to alter very hard to alter Yes, you know, so I was with an actor yesterday who will go in named okay? We were like oh do we were shooting him for something or go do you like these clothes? Because all this brand new design, you know what I mean and he was like I don't this is my job like you guys do Whatever you want like I don't think about this at all like I am I am merely here I am the vehicle but didn't have enough gas had no opinion no did never I mean he would have an opinion on like oh This doesn't actually fit but otherwise style stylistically. He was just like oh this is it was unbelievable He was like oh this is my job. I'm just down for it And also this is a person who all I'll say it in belief and so he knows is that okay? Yeah, yeah sure Okay, okay, it's now it's it's coming into focus sure okay It's an act but I guess my point is this is an actor who's always sort of seen as Good looking like he never looks goofy or bad So for somebody who's willy-neely you guys do whatever the hell you want? I don't even think about fashion. He always looks pretty sharp. Yeah, I am actually surprised in that way He does you know he works close well because it's so easy for actors to look awful when they just let their stylist it felt free I was like damn this is this is like a love this is the level above where you're just I bro I don't know I'm your I am your doll dress me, but you do you because you now you're going to all these award shows You're winning all these enemies and shit you have an opinion. I assume I do I have opinions Yeah, I'm a little exacting. No P. Dub is a fashion killer. I do trust that people I work with though, you know my stylist is very good and so I am open to things that normally I wouldn't Pick off the rack for myself, you know, who's this who's your stylist rose forward? Okay, and and so you go into the room and you're like all right There's ten things I like these three and you're good to go. Yeah, she's not no No, no, she's often well usually what usually happens is it's down to two or very split on two Yeah, and then usually like the day of it's like what feels good that day And that's what we end up doing but you got to break these very exacting in a way that I really like and I'm like I because I trust her It's very nice and I've worked with other great stylists, but I do appreciate her vision, you know But do you like wearing a suit in general like are you comfortable in a suit? Yeah, I actually do yeah I don't mind. I think that's I think that's a big difference here I think there's some people that really hate it. Yeah, and some people that don't mind. I love it I love it. It's the easiest way to dress especially since we all have swimmers Well you and I have swimmers builds. It's a lot, you know It's easier for that Chris not so much. He's more athletic of course But I was like I love the the ease of a suit you you throw it on doesn't matter what's under it really tuck in your shirt And you don't wear a dumb pair of shoes and yeah, you're you're you're good anywhere. It's very comfortable easy blah blah blah But you have to do a lot of you know you'll do one award show You'll you do whatever five a year you put on the suit you put on the tux I think the every time you have to do the after episode fake video podcast thing where you wear you're like Casual top and and pants yeah, and and you have to have a different look for each episode after re-catch Yeah, so that that feels like the real challenge. Yeah, this is like what color suit that is more of a challenge I will say more like casual dress is in some ways harder. Yeah, although I don't know I think if you're gonna if you're trying to like actually Pull a serve. I think it is harder for men with suits because they're a little bit like My wife is always like it's so much easier to run a suit But I'm like yeah, but if you want to actually true. You don't want to serve. That's the issue. It shouldn't be serving straight men Serving isn't for us. We've got okay, okay, you know what I mean? We can be president women can we are sure we can't serve Chris you're you're too afraid to serve. That's the issue. I'm not afraid to serve I think when it cut. No, I think specifically when it comes to feeling very draft Dodger So yeah, I think you can serve. I think anyone can when it comes to suits I think that it's men experimenting with suits have let us down some dark dark Connor story at ass pathways Okay, okay, okay, I'm not gonna disagree with that. I think you're like a see through shirt a no shirt underneath like I don't care if you're Michael be George Adrian Adrian Brody broach that's Of a a python. It's just I just I just think that like I get you don't want to be boring especially if you're Yeah, a less actor, you know, I totally understand that but I just think that the tuxedo Specifically is a tough thing to add to I hear no way that is good and I am like a cumber bun is the best you can do I'm done see that's it. Yeah, cummerbund's great, but that but I think that does it, you know, you do something like that I agree It's a little you know, you're a little off center I think that's good because I agree. I'm more of a classic talent kind of guy not not into the no shirt Not into the no shirt that the the python The no shirt thing. I think we've I think it may be I think we may be past it It was it was a tyranny of at least a year. I would say maybe two Yeah, and joining me started on the Grammy Awards people show it a fight. Well, they'll do whatever that no I know I can't wait for the AMA is it gonna be insane? AMA well you know Meg's gonna wear something fucked up So you got a I know I know it's just wearing that for the AMAs are my magala. You're about to get monged by Meg I know fucking a man. That's not my man. It's really hard She looks good everything she looks good and everything she's having fun with it and that is a lost art Yeah, that is that is really lost. Yes, that's that is so true She is having fun and we've done some things together and it is so fun to have actually have a bit not to make you know You shouldn't always play the fool, but I do think when you have a bit one of those things it's so much more fun Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the AMA is it's like yeah, I don't I'm not a musician who gives a fuck I'm just here to have fun like I'll present my award you guys have do you guys how are you workshopping your AMA Fashion we do have we do have a thought for the for the really yes, we do how does this go down Does this is this something that maybe one of you leads in the other is like? Oh, what if we added this in that or you know, whatever. How does it go down? Yeah, I think we try not to like chase the dragon It's like it has to come to us the music has to come to us, but one of us is like we could do this I mean we did you know we did the Chrome hearts are interesting and About that my My how did I forget about that that was so Recognition for that. Oh, it was so stupid really insane. It was insane But it was the most fun we've ever had it was the most fun we ever had and like Truly other people at the show like can we get a picture it was you know, name me on like other actors wanting a picture We were like sure, you know It was very hard. How did that go down? Construction what how much lead time did we need so this was what was crazy? So my sister on a gen of Eve was like you need to do like Martin supreme Press tour stuff and so I was like megg we should do this orange outfit So shout out to gen of you for pitching that this was like over like the it was like around Christmas time Meg was like we're doing it for I was like maybe we do this for our premiere in the spring and she was like No, it has to be now. It must be now. We're doing it for credit She's right which was in seven days Oh, she's like we're doing it in seven days and I was like meggah and her stylist Cat pulled it together found somebody Found this woman Erica to make no dress in the suit and did it in like seven days I think didn't stop for seven days It really works though. It was really funny. It was fun. We it was it made the night did Timothy get in touch His publicist did come over to us and said Timmy's late, but I want to show you this and she showed us her phone where she attacks the picture and he wrote incredible Yeah, and I was like oh great. So he's not mad. Just like no, he loved it. This is great. Yeah, that's the whole reason I mean he you know that only helps his case really He see and then and then we didn't meet him at the Actor awards and he was like he was actually for Connie was like let's get a picture We got a picture and he's like okay. We got it. It was very Moment that we got a picture And beg Meg has gone on the record. She's been like he asked us. He asked you he got ahead of it Maybe maybe to be kind maybe be kind let's differentiate and that is a big differentiate It really is he asked you not about the other way around that does that counts it's very I'm gonna insult myself before you guys have the chance to I'm gonna ask you selfie before all you guys ask have you asked? I would never actually I would never have you ever asked anyone for a picture I I did get a picture with Carol Bernat when she gets started on the show. I did want a picture with I mean that's pretty good, but no normally I wouldn't I just I even if I really want it There's something yeah, I'm level. I only do it if it who do I do it with Jason at that at that at the Marty's spring after party The guy from Shark Tank oh Mark Cuban. I had to look up where Cuban, but also I waited all night famously with President Bill Clinton. Oh president Bill Clinton. We saw Bill. Jason saw Bill Clinton at a restaurant This is like this was like 2015 or maybe at ABC V at ABC V and I just leapt into action because Jason's really tall So he got the he had the angle ready to rock and the the way the pictures position and we're shaking hands It looks like we are running for office together That is perfect. We need a frame and then only and then only 24 hours later the Epstein stuff did come out So it wasn't the timing wasn't great for me personally. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I noticed there's a change in the comments section before and after Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a but I think the I think you're right. It's tough to it's tough to act I don't, I don't know, like the Mark Cuban thing was funny and he thought it was funny 'cause he's like, why is this guy, who the fuck is, like, you know what I mean? Like he doesn't expect, I think he didn't expect a person that looked like me to want a picture with him. I guess is what I'm saying. - Sure, sure, sure. - You know, which is, that's fun. - It's usually Virgins who ask for a selfie. So it's, we're just a cool guy. - No, but my polo shirt, it's, no, you can like, spray ketchup on it, it washes right off. I'm just looking for an investment. - Paul, we both kind of devote this podcast on our lives to Twitter. - And I feel like you're still on Twitter, aren't you? - I am, I dip in and out. I go on and I'm like, you know, I will post something or repose something, but I'm not on it all the time. I gotta admit. - Are you, but when you're working, do you like lock in, get the brick out and you don't look at your phone type shit? - But she bricks, she bricks and she, she bricks hard so she is off. I don't do that, I look and in fact, - I'm able to do it without the brick, but you know, I guess that's cute for her. - If you need it, I guess that's fine. - Some people need different things. (laughing) - Yeah, she does need it. I have incredible amount of willpower. But no, I will like open it and just scroll literally for no reason between takes. Sometimes just to, I think it's just a stress relieving thing. - Yeah. - But it's like a little cigarette for your eyes. - Yeah, I'm probably the least online person of anybody that makes the show. - That is-- - I know that's bad probably for what we're doing here, but it's true. - No, well, they're all of your writers are online so you don't have to be-- - They're very online, which she's very online, Jen is very online. - If I had to work with Joe Mandy every day, I'd be fucking, yeah, I'd be doing something. - It is. - Incredibly online. - Yeah, he makes memes like a teenager. Like he's-- - And he's doing it different. - He's doing it into, he's making the meme, we'll have a joke in the room, we'll continue to go and he'll have the meme up within 30 seconds. He's made a-- - You guys keep going, did you get my sweet green? I just gotta hold on one second. Just gotta give this meme down. - Where easy, it's crazy. - That's a skill in itself though, but I think there's-- - I have a hard time with it. Jason has less of a hard time with it, but I think when you're in a group like that where it's so, you're sort of together for these certain periods of time, it's really easy to pick up on the patterns of who's doing what, you know? - 100% yeah, and he is, because we do most of it over Zoom, we're in person like once a week and then we're over Zoom. So he's doing, his background is constantly a clip art of whatever the joke is that we've just, you know, and it's changing all day long. I'm like, in some ways I'm like, brother, I eat-- - Like, are you good, bro? - Graphic designer, you're graphic designer, but he's also brilliantly funny. So like-- - You're like, I don't think that maybe this industry's not for you. - Maybe this industry's not for you. Have you ever thought about graphic design? - If you put even half the amount of work you put into your graphic designs, you would be-- - Have you seen it in his hats? Have you seen the embroidery hats that he does? - Yes. - Which, and also now it's become a thing, I've seen it, I have also seen that online that people are doing it more and more, and I'm like, I think he started that. I don't know. - He started that whole thing during COVID, and now I see it a lot. It's a real Etsy thing to do. - Yeah, yeah. - Very Etsy thing to do. - My mom's probably gonna make me one for my birthday this year, you know what I mean? - 100% good for her. - Neat for original. - If she does, that's a great gift. - It is a great gift. It's very personal. - Oh, it's my Rudolph, what I thought. I saw my Rudolph one and some late night show. And I'm like, who made that? And my nose, Joe, she was on the good place which she wrote on, but anyway. - I'm sure somebody knows somebody at a wagon wheel or something, you know, hooked it all up. - What are you gonna do now, big bro? - Great question. - Because HBO owns you, right? - We are on a deal there. - I'm sorry, I don't like to use industry terms, but you're in an overall with HBO. - Yes, HBO, we're developing something for them. And it's just development, it's not like a green lip. - Sure, but we're still early days. - Still early days. I think what we'd like to do next is a limited as much as that I think is not. - Okay, lazy ass, all right. - Exactly. - Limited, okay, exactly. - We're trying to be lazy. - So one for you, one for you, got it, okay. - Exactly, that's it. - We love that over there. - Just launching a new show, it would be, quite an undertaking. We're a little burned out, we're tired. The pace was really insane. - And how old is your guys kid now? - He's four, he turned four in a month. - Yeah, so intense times right now. - It is. - Most important job of the world, dad. - Sure, running, oh, dad, right. - Jason, don't act like these people, don't act like they don't have a staff, bro. They bring that little motherfucker to Vegas. They got people for that, bro. - He does come to Vegas. And he loves Vegas. And the last time he was there, he went to a restaurant and this person walked over and said, you're very well behaved and handed him $100 bill. Vegas is absolutely nuts. And it's, the thing is that he really wanted to do like slot machines because it looks like it's games. And we had to be like, no, it is that one of the slot machines and they were like, it's a $2,000 fine if he doesn't get off that right now. Like they are so serious about it. So it was like, this is a playground for adults, which is very hard for a kid to compute. - 'Cause it does look like a, it looks like a fun house. - Yes. And I've heard you guys talk about the arcade drop off thing that they used to have. They don't really have that. They don't really have, I mean. - That's one way to circle the square to help save Vegas again is create a place to dump all these fucking kids. Obviously, four years old, you're not gonna leave them stranded in an awesome arcade. You know, when they're 13, 14, sure. - Well, how much, well, he's sports gambling at least on his phone, that right? - That's the thing. Yeah, his phone, he does have a lot of debt. - He's in Wester. - It's quite bad. - He wants iPad time, that means fan doing things. - He's not looking great. - No, it's actually Dwaft Kings. - Yeah, it's based on color. He's choosing, he's based on color, the uniform. - I don't know, I just love blue. - Purple. - This is a very, it's not good. - Dwaft Kings. - This is very idiocracy is a documentary. Like how long until they have sports betting for kids, you know what I mean? - That's right. - Not long. - Actually, he might do well, he might do well, he's very lucky. - Well, all right, well, do you, are you into like, optioning books and shit, or do you want it to come all from the brain? - You know, we, it's so funny, the thing that we're working on is from a book, but we're not, we're very, very rarely interested in that, we do like it to be like, generated from us. - But also, you guys come from an improv background, right? - We do, we, we met it. - I'm sorry to hear that. - I'm sorry. - I know, I apologize. - I'll pray for you. - I know, it's like, it's really rough. - So you need to be the spark for the flame. - Kind of. - That's fine. - It goes easier, you know. - Makes the deal more or less messy, right? - I think it, it does, it does it, yeah. - What's it like working with your wife though, 'cause that sounds hard. - Hell on earth, it's absolutely. - No offense to my wife, but I ain't trying to do it. - No, I know, well, you know, in this business, we've certainly not worked together on things, and she or I have been a part for a long time, and that I think is harder. - I think that's harder. - That's harder, yeah. - You know, when you're in that part, yeah. - When you're in Vancouver for a long time, you're not seeing your partner, it's kind of hard. - Especially if they're into Asian chicks, you gotta be careful out there in Vancouver. - Oh. - Something to think about. - Okay, good, no. - Especially if you both have the same job and one person got the job and the other person didn't. - That's rough. - You're the partner for the same role, it's really hard. - You should go audition for this, you know, this music video, and oh, I'm just gonna stay in the car. - Hey, you kid, come in here. - Oh, can that be hell? - I have two male friends. - I have two male friends who that happened to, were their girlfriend, who's a model, and they went with them to the casting, and they were like, yeah, you're great. Who is that? - Yeah, they had full careers. - That is insane. - And a girl did not. It's so, he's like a hot skater sitting in the lobby, like a board. - Yeah, it's perfect. - And he knows people are always amazing. I find, people are like the best of natural actors, you know? - Totally. - That's how you get a Matthew McConaughey, right? - Yeah. - I don't know, man, I just showed up, man. - That's right, exactly. Oops. - Yeah, I didn't think about the, I didn't think, I always forget that these things are so all encompassing that you just like, yeah, you're gone. - It does consume your life. So it is nice in that way. It's like you're getting to be with your partner, but there's so many challenges, but we figured out pretty early on the way to make it work for us, the way that we're like, but just do positive reinforcement and make this pleasant. Again, doesn't mean that we don't have moments that are hard, but we have, no, but I guess, we also have three, we do it with our best friend, so there's a tie breaker. So it's kind of, - Oh, bad, they're so lucky. That sounds awesome. - Yeah, well, but guess what? Sometimes I'm a tie breaker because they're, you know what I mean? Like it depends. - Yeah. - Like the Cuck Chair rotates. - It's a Cuck Chair or Cuck Chair. - It's absolutely right. Yes, it's musical coffee. - That makes it a lot more fun. I guess that the, but I guess the question really is that, are you able to shut it off when you're at home? - No. - Yeah, I didn't think so. - No, we can't shut it off. - I didn't think so much. - But in some ways, in some ways, you know, I don't know, I don't mind that, you know? - Yeah. - Because in some ways, it's like your homework's never done. You can do it in a casual way. You're falling asleep and you're like, this is a good idea for that. You don't even mean it. So it becomes a little bit. - It's got a little bit less like intense nine to five feeling. - Yeah. - And I don't know. We like talking about something we've watched or something we've written. We like doing that stuff and it does feel like it's part of work. - How do you guys fall asleep at night? - We usually scroll for a little bit. - Who rolls the blunt? You or her? - Her. She's rolling the blunt. - Oh my God. - She's rolling the blunt. - No bless her? - Yeah. And then she's usually like, "Okay, it's time to turn out to light." That's how it goes. Even though I'm always like, "We got to get to bed early." I want to guillotine above my bed so that at a certain hour that this thing goes and we have to be slept. We have to be down and asleep thing. - Oh, that's a good idea. - I really want that because it's inevitable that I'll be so fatigued the next day and I'll be like, "I'm so tired." And then she's like, "What year's it going to be?" - So what time are you hitting the hay then if we're trying to go? What's early to you? - Like, 9.11? That would be great. But it's very rare. - 11, bro. - I'm talking 9 o'clock, get on my level. - Wish, I wish. My kid doesn't go to bed until 9 o'clock. - Well, that's bad parenting. He's four years old. - I know. I know, but he's never slept much. He just wants to be awake. He only six, 10 hours max. That's really-- - He's got his daddy's sugar dependency, huh? Gotta go back. - He's got five, he's got five parlayes going at once. He can't. - That's a shame. - So think it's a trend. - It's a trend. It's adrenaline. You know how it is when you're gambling junkies. I do know how that is. Yeah, you got a lot surgeon. I know how that is. Oh, goodness. He's not going to grow an inch all that cortisol on adrenaline. It's okay. He can swim. All right. Well, thank you so much for ponding with us. Paul, I hope you had fun and congrats on the final season. I'm fans. You guys are fans. I'm a fan of yours. Luchia came up to us. I think at the Emmys or something and said something, but I haven't seen her since. So please give her. Do you want to know why this laptop is set up by Luchia? She is like, get this has to she wants to the sound good. She's going to be listening. You know, and actually, me stress out. I'm like, I'm getting stressed out. This is supposed to be fun. We're talking to her. We're having fun. Maybe there's a little jealousy. Yeah, there could be a little. Yeah, I don't want this to cause problems at home. So we'll do the best we can. You guys are, you guys are helping me. This is really good. All right. Good. You're getting me straight. And thank you for hacks. Honestly, it's great. It's one of the best things that's happened on TV in a very long time. That's very, thank you very much for watching it. I'm glad you guys wrapped it up when the time was your smart. Thank you. I appreciate that because so many people are like, why are you doing this? No, it's really nice to hear that. I appreciate the, not very, you got it. You got to go. You never want a seventh heaven out, right? No. I'm a last. You're a last. No. I do not want to molest at all. Just to be clear, syndication's not worth it. No molesting. Oh, yeah. All right. Thanks Paul. All right. Thank you. I better go ahead. Have a good one. Better. Better. [Music]