Patton Oswalt + Larry Miller (Carolla Classics)

[music] Welcome to Cruel Classic Summer host Superfan Giovanni. It's the podcast with the best moments highlights and fans like to clip small 17 years The Adam Corolla Show. If you like to gain access to the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, as well as the newer podcast Beats Out. Make sure to check out the Adam Corolla Substack. AdamCruel.substack.com And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us. Classics at AdamCruel.com. Please note, we cannot play any material from Loveline or the Kayla Sacks Adam Corolla Show that ran from 2006 to 2009 that immediately precedes this podcast. Select moments and clips from those shows have been played on the podcast, which we can then play from those episodes as fair use when they come up in old clips, but we can't play long-form clips or exact chunks from those shows. Only stuff Adam's commented on here and made it to the Transformers. If you have any questions about Loveline or the Kayla Sacks Adam Corolla Show, I've been remastering and restoring the archive for both of those shows for over 20 years. I'm almost complete. If you have any questions or need more information, page read.com/geovani. I hope you have. All right, let's get to the clips. Come up first. We have Adam Corolla Show 1305 featuring Joe Coy, Seven Horse, Manatchety, Allison Rosen and Brian Bishop for 2014. So we have some exciting calls but we also have a Rotten Tomatoes game. Oh yes. No, which one do you want to do? Should we do the game? Let's do the game. OK, the game. All right. We have an interesting song that everyone loves. Let's do it. [MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ Rotten Tomatoes, the game ♪ ♪ Here comes that and he is the guy ♪ ♪ That's kind of, oh, there's more. ♪ With the fresh shame rotten movie game ♪ That's a good song. ♪ Now it's time I really hope it isn't lame ♪ ♪ Leave us go, I totally can't hear this note ♪ ♪ I can't force it all anymore ♪ ♪ Pay anymore, it hurts my balls, hurts my balls ♪ That's funny. ♪ He's names of flicks of the game makes things mad, aren't you? ♪ ♪ He's a slumber guy and when he drop by, the game has no guess ♪ ♪ To the critic's horseman, then rotten or fresh? ♪ [LAUGHS] ♪ That's a good song ♪ This is the Rotten Tomatoes game, Matt Atchity. Yes. Did I say it right? You did. Joe, can you explain the game now? Can you play the game with us? I've never played it ever. There's a list of movies that have a theme, and everybody is going to write down what score they think the movie got on the tomato meter, which measures how many positive reviews. It's not an average. It's a percentage of positive reviews for any movie. So you figure out, you're making it, you write it down. Everybody says their answer, and the person who gets closest wins that round. But it's ultimately the score is, the winner of the game is the one who has the lowest aggregate score. I realize that's what the measurement was. A real? Yeah. So if it's 31, that means of 100 reviews, 31 were positive. It means 31% of the critics liked it. This change is nothing. [LAUGHS] All right. OK. So we all write our thing down. Yeah. Yeah. No one cheats. OK. No one cheats. Let's do it. All right. So since he's got a new movie in theaters, and since the critics don't like it, transcendence. The movie. A starring Johnny Depp. We're going to go with Johnny Depp movies. Nice. First up, 1998's "Fear and Loathing" in Las Vegas. Do you guys see this movie? Yes. So what are we doing here? You're going to write down. You write your score down. What you think the "Ront tomato score" is, and everybody's going to have it down. Everybody's going to have it down. Right. And once everybody's got it written, everybody goes around and says what they're-- But the score we're talking about. Percentage or tomatoes-wise? Yeah. What the score is? Tomato meter. He was explaining it. OK. He was explaining what the tomato meter is, but you will try and guess the score. Gotcha. The tomato meter is right there. It's right. 51% for Joe Black. Meachum Black. OK. Let's do this. I'm ready. I already know. OK. I have an idea. I have a number as well. I already know. We're allowed to use our iPhones, correct? No. My bad. Why not? Because I would have been exactly right. What's your score, Joe? What do you think it is? I think you gave it a 42. Ooh. Interesting. I want to hire. I want to hire. I said 66. Or this is a little divisive, but still a good movie. I think they were trying to harden this movie. I liked this movie, and I went 75, and now I fear I went too high. Oh, you went way too high. As usual, it's 50%. Damn it. 50%. What did you say? I know. What did you say? 20%. 20% last week. 20% last week. So I just cut 20 points off of everything? That's pretty much. I should have. You should have. Goddamn. Well, Allison, seriously, 70% for that movie? No, 75%. No, Joe. 75%. Yeah. So do you. I'm sorry if I spit on you, but that was really funny. That was the worst score ever. Oh, no, you haven't seen my score. You haven't seen my score. 75%. Oh, I haven't seen my score. 75%. There are far worse guesses. Unbelievable. There will be worse guesses before this is over. Okay. The audience gave it a 90%. Yeah. I'm a woman of the people. Yeah, you are. You just like Johnny Depp. That's all. All right. Next up, 1997 gangster movie that has a whole bottle log about the word, forget about it. Donnie Brassco. Oh, gross. I hated that movie too. You did. Yeah. Why? Okay. But I know what you gave it. I definitely know what you gave it. Oh, what did you give it? We all have our numbers. We do have it. I do. Joe. 59%. Oh. I said 80. This is a really good movie. I said 62 because I don't know anymore. 87%. Yeah. Wow. Bingo. If I had just gone 82, I would think closer. I'm lucky. That's 20%. That's 20%. I'll send every score. Basically, basically, I, you're always 20 off in any direction. Exactly. That's 20 off of 40 that contains. Are you good at gambling in Vegas? I don't know. That really hurt. Actually, I'm not terrible at it. Yeah. Like, you could put money on it. But this is different. If you were to play roulette, you probably put it on black and red and it would still hit green. Yeah. But I wouldn't play roulette. I'm definitely going to win this time. Double zero. Fuck. Man. I heard all my bases. See, once I, once I learned that there's like a, actually a way to gamble and you can have a system and all that. Then I started getting better. But when I did that thing, I'm like, I just feel like it's going to be this or I feel like it's going to be that. I would lose money. And that is what I'm doing on this game. Okay. All right. What do we got? Next up, Johnny Depp plays a CIA man who's the villain of the movie once upon a time in Mexico. Well, Chris never saw this. God, I never even see him. It's a star. I've never heard of this. Antonio Vendera. It's the sequel to Desperado. Well, of course, Antonio Vendera says in it, it's what Mexican movie is it? I'm a high x in it. Oh my God. By Robert Rodriguez. Oh, shit. That just made the percentage go up. Allison, I've ever heard of this. I've seen it. What you're coming out. 2003. I did not see this. Ha. I'm giving this a high percentage. Wait, wait, wait. Don't say it. It's in there. Can I go or not? Yes, you can. I gave it a 71%. What's in even this movie? Once a time Mexico. I'm very close. I said 69%. That's something. High. I know. I don't know. I don't know. Well, the movie I saw. I just saw my high. Anything you saw my high is in is always high. You even. I can't even think of any of the food from Dostaldon or 68%. Oh, my single point. What'd you say? 69. Back. It's 71. When did Desperado come out? Was that a lot? That was the second one. It was 90. The first one he had done was El Mariachi. That's what I saw. Desperado was the sequel. Did people like El Mariachi? Yeah. I didn't. Okay. I love everything about Selma. All right. Retractive. This one was the first successful movie based off a theme park ride. Pirates of the Caribbean. Because of the Black Pearl. Well, his acting was spectacular in this movie. And I've seen it down the best nominated for best sporting actor that year, right? Yeah. He should have just got best actor. The thing is. He's French. Johnny Depp. No, he lives in French. He lives in French. He lives in French. If you live in French. You know what I mean? If you live in France, he's natural. As an American. I have to, you know what I mean? I have to. No. Give you a low percentage. Oh, you're just, you're just docking in points for. I'm docking in points for being, yeah, for being a Frenchman. For Turner's back. Yeah. You turn your back on this country. And you want an Oscar? Get the fuck out of here. Johnny Depp. The fuck. I'm throwing a tomato at you. You know, he's in all of the movies we've been doing. Oh, really? Is that what this game is? Well, then I take back the other percentages too. No, you're actually. You look quite well. You should keep those percentages. Yeah. It's, it's that chair. It's, it's really. All right. So the Caribbean for this Frenchman. Uh, Johnny Depp had to. I will give him. I'm going to give him even though his acting was spectacular. I'm going to say that you guys hate it because that's what Rotten Tomatoes always does. I'm going to say 68%. This is an undeniably great movie for what it was. It's a summer movie. Yes. It's a great action movie. But I think the whole theme park thing. People were against it from the get go. And it's like, oh, this is actually kind of a good movie. 75%. And I said 82. 79%. Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. How has it finally got one? It's finally got one. Thank you. She finally went with her brains instead of her heart. No. No. Does it guess all right last movie. Yes, this is a fun game by the way. This is the one you can have a bonus round I really enjoy it. We do have a tiebreaker. Okay, so let's do that all right. So it is tied there is One movie that prompted Johnny Depp to wear a bird on his head last summer's lone ranger. Oh I already know this one Nobody went Nobody went to that fucking movie. I walked out on the trailer I sort of got the trailer of this movie I got up and I was like, you know what Joe you know the good time to take a shit This is the thing that if you were watching on a plane, you'd still want to walk out. I'd walk out on the plane Open this fucking cabin right now Give me a parachute this fucking movies on. Did anyone actually see it? Nobody watched it. I saw it too Bad movie of course the first and the last scenes again, Gorbachevsky saying that directed the parts here great great action Right 80 minutes in between is an hour and a half a bullshit. Yeah, I already know what you guys gave it 32% 40 33 you can't do that. Yeah, this isn't fucking prices, right she wrote it down. Would you go? Well, then 34 well you can't do that. I got the head chair. Oh, there's no penalty for going over it Someone stole it. Someone tell Corolla. He can't do that. I'm in his chair today. All right, all right 34% 30% you shouldn't it? Yep, sex to be you. What happens in Zonfire? Who won? Brian one Brian 38 Joe 52 percent. Oh, no, Alison 85 Awesome. I thought I was beginning to make it up on the last couple questions. Yeah, those first couple I know so Brian one Yeah, but you came in second and there's no shame in that there's no shame in that can we do a bonus run anyways bonus round Let's do it. Okay, this one winner takes off This one's winner takes off his first Really big starring role 1990. Yes, Edward Siserhands. Oh now on this round. Can we donate some money to my organization? The loop is this organization. Oh, that's right. The guys I want to check to after 49ers lost in the championship I tend to win a lot of money here. Let's just do like 20 bucks each It's a $60 pot. But what if we win? Then then I'll sink and buy something I'm in a moistown for money for charity. All right. Let's do it. Just for fun. Okay. No, we get to put the money under your name. How's that? Oh, that sounds that's cool, right? Almost as good as getting the money. Yeah. I can use the tax deduction Okay, let's do it. All right. All right. You go first. All right. Let's do this Edward Siserhands Did I say it right Edward Siserhands? No, they're just Siserhands, but he had more than one Siserh. Yes, true Yeah, it's a fixed Siserhands. It's Siserhands. He had nine Siserhands. That's a different movie with a different squad. That's the first one. That's the sequel More Siserhands. Yeah, more Siserhands Mario Lope has played an Edward Siserhands He's in part two. They didn't even get to the fucking theaters director video. Yeah, I'm gonna go 80% you know why because that's that was what's his name? The director? What's his name Tim Burton? That was his big day be right there I think a lot of I think a lot of I think a lot of people turn their heads on that like they were like wow This is amazing. I think it's a good choice Mac Is this a movie that is good, but I don't think he'll got it like a freak people out and I'm gonna say 60 percent what and I said 89 Wow The I can tell from look on your face that I did amazingly well Alison is good. No, I'm not though, but they take off but you're right there 89 you were two percent off That's pretty amazing. Thank you. I mean it feels good But okay, can I ask you Alison because I just want to I want to know Where you came up with this percentage in your head? What about that movie? What was never ever thought? I would be interviewed about my performance in Rotten Tomatoes. I want to know dream come true Oh strategy. My strategy was strategy. What was the strategy? Where were you just raining? No, no, no, no, and I did all up. Yeah, I mean Come on well the law man up there for this one. Yes, but far a con and to the people I grew up with yes Here's the thing I Think for the most part that was considered a good movie. Uh-huh That was my thinking. Yes, and I I feel like I could imagine that it got an 89 so I wrote it down But your theory with Tim Burton. No, I didn't even know there was a director. No, I mean if you I Didn't think about it. Yeah, no idea. There was even a director All sense that there was going to explain her one close vote. I explained why I explain why she's not explaining anything Yeah, I said I thought it was a good movie High score high score would be 89. Yeah, that sounds about right. I'm gonna go with them to commit to it I consider okay, I considered going lower. Okay, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say that I had utmost confidence in my ability. Yeah, I Didn't that was amazing. I just the fact that you were 2% off was just damn near brilliant Thank you, and if anyone that on this panel could have got that close it would have been brine because that's his job I mean, I will I have to say I think Adam has gotten it exactly before. Yeah, when we did the football movies There were a couple that he was right on the nose Yeah, but that was a close one because there were a couple that he was one He was one percent off and one of them. He got the number exactly right nice It's really good at this game. You want to have the outro man? He was just so good. Thank you. That was so much Thank you Matt actually from run tomatoes.com. You're The chief editor of brought tomatoes. That's me Where's the Hawaiian shirt very well. Thank you. There's only two people that can wear a Hawaiian shirt like that very well you and John Lovitz John I open for your great company. I want I open for John and Hawaii and he goes I'm gonna take you to this Hawaii teach a Hawaii shirt star And you want I want you to pick whatever you want. Yeah, that's the ticket and I went in and I'm like I don't want any of this shit That's that's how he gets you. Yeah, well, I'm gonna pick five Since you don't want two of them, I will get five. He's on the hook to get five no matter what one two if I get some Yeah, I got some nothing worse in here and John Lovitz. You all at the sales. I do you have anything with pineapples? I don't have a shirt with pineapples Fucking got it. We he was on the podcast. How do you do? Good, but he's very very tan. Yeah, now is that because he goes tanning. Oh really? The weirdest story is when he took me because we went to lunch and he goes I have to go tanning right now I go are you kidding me? I have psoriasis and the doctor says I have to go tanning for it So I had to go sit in the lobby and wait for him to get tan before we go eat and then here comes a What's his name the famous actor Bruce Willis Kevin Neillin. Oh, sorry Bruce Bruce Willis walks in and it was so surreal to see Bruce and John Having a conversation in the lobby of a of a tanning salon and everything apparently John love it says is like a declarative statement I have to go tanning, right? Yeah, Joe. This is my friend Bruce Willis. You might know him from die high He's amazing acting All right, Bruce. I'm gonna go tan. Yeah, me too I'm gonna go tan too, man. Nice to meet you nice to meet you Bruce. Here's out. It was Bruce That's another guy right there. I want to see that. That's it. No, I'm just saying Brad Pitt and Bruce like I looked at him. I was like oh shit. Okay. I get it. That's why you're famous right you're you're amazingly good looking Right, you know how to hold a gun. He always does that gum. He holds it and he's got that that shit look on his face the wence Yeah, the squint. Oh, I'm gonna shoot you die hard It's a Bruce brings to Bruce Willis. It's Bruce brings to me. Yeah, I was Come on, man, let's shoot you die hard. When can we see trailer the movie and trailer and trailers that please don't put my movie out there It's it's gonna come out the trailer for the movie trailers is coming out this summer Awesome, and you're gonna love it. Well, don't blame me if it's rotten. Oh shit Should we take phone calls or go to break? Why don't we take a five-minute break? Let's take a five-minute break then and we'll be back First of all, Matt. I love you. Thank you. We got seven horse great group The you might know that for the movie Wolf of Wall Street. They play it all throughout the movie Amazing group of guys and they're gonna be here in here this you're right back Hello and welcome to Pluto foal if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see Just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blood buster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchor man The legend of Ron Burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy Welcome to the real world. Mean girls Titanic And so much more for showtimes press nothing they're free That is so fast on Pluto TV stream now pay never All right, those Adam color show 1305. Next we have Adam color show 57 So this is an episode I chose not to play during the last two weeks remembering Brian This is when he first announced the tumor on air on the podcast. It's from May of 2009 check it out Oh, oh, oh Riley auto parts. Yeah, they're in the business keeping a car in the road You know that they're off our friendly helpful service and the parts knowledge you need To maintain and repair your car. 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Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today, or visit them at oReillyauto.com/atom. That's oReillyauto.com/atom. (beep) - Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. - Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. - Welcome to the real world. - Mean girls. - Side up. - He's right, Danny. - I'm the key in the world. - And so much more for Showtime's press nothing. They're free 24/7. - That is so effective. - On Pluto TV, stream now, pay never. (upbeat music) - Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on a very special podcast for you today. Theresa Strasser, very pregnant, is back. Ball Brian is back, Ball Brian has some very sobering news. We're gonna discuss it, Theresa and I are aware of it, but I will let Ball Brian put it into his own words. What's going on with you, Brian? - Nothing man, so about two and a half weeks ago, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. And I came out of nowhere as these things do. I was having symptoms for a few months. I was having like neurological symptoms. And I was having like a, it would start at like the gym, stuff that's sort of easily explained away. Like I would get dizzy or I would stumble or I would lose my balance. And when I was doing exercises and things, it would come and go and I'd get out of the sauna at the gym and I'd feel a little dizzy and woozy. And eventually, sometimes during the show, sometimes around January or February, my lips go a little numb, my tongue go a little numb. I started to slur my words. I noticed myself slurring my words more than I normally would. - Did you hear it Adam? I didn't hear it. - I didn't hear anything. All I know is I won totally tonnepical people trivia. Right around that first time in a year and I don't have it, there must be something fun. - You know what? Let's just say there's an asterisk next to that victory, right about in town, because Brian had a brain tumor. - All your victories are tainted. - So you noticed, you noticed your tongue was numb, but you could explain that way. - My lips and like a little of my tongue and then my face, the right side of my face would get a little bit more numb throughout the day or come and go, but then it would kind of go away and it would be here and there and eventually, the symptoms over the course of a couple months would get more noticeable and they would just be at the gym or they would just be at work. They'd be after my nap in the afternoon and really the disorientation of dizziness, when I would move my head around, the room would spin a little bit and I kind of ignored it. But these are things you can easily explain away and I'm tired, I've been doing whatever, it's like I'm before 30 in the morning, I'm dehydrated. - You dehydrated. - I'm dehydrated, all these things, and eventually I started to look up some of the symptoms online and they all matched up with at the time, but I thought it was like multiple sclerosis. These are perfect in S symptoms. You get dizzy, you get lose the sensation of a certain chart of your face. My left side get a little clumsy. - How was your balance? - Bad, it got, it was getting worse. It was getting worse. That was probably the first symptom, was losing, it was stumbling and like being off balance a little bit, which is weird, but I always always like, "Oh, I'm just working out too hard at the gym, "I thought I was a workout warrior." But I was like, you know, going to the gym every day and thinking, "I'm just tired, I should take a nap "before the gym or eat better or whatever I was doing." And around about three weeks ago, three or four weeks ago, I decided to make a point of the neurologist through a family friend who got me to point it with a neurologist, a guy who specializes in Parkinson's disease, but he'd happened to know the brain really well and sent me in for an MRI and did the whole test and was working under an assumption multiple sclerosis. He said to be, I'm 99% sure you have MS. - So you diagnosed yourself just googling the symptoms and the doctor said that was congruent with MS. - Most likely, the most likely diagnoses were MS a stroke because all these things are sort of the same part of the brain. - You really, you can't just be, you know, I don't know, have a bad month. I mean, you know that sort of feeling where it's like, I don't know, you're tired or you're a little disoriented or you can't string together sentence. Like, he really that quickly thought we have early onset of MS. - Yes, but that point had been gone for about four months. And early on, it was like, oh, I've just kind of losing it. Just to have it just weird things then the go away. And they did go away and they came and went and they were mild. They were mild and noticeable. But then they got more noticeable and drinking, we'll get in the later. Drinking is a huge exacerbator for this. Like one beer sometimes can feel like three. You know, like five beers. - It doesn't affect your motor skill. - Yeah, it definitely does. And I would, you know, go out with friends, like I normally do and go out drinking and then just have a few beers and I'd be wasted. You know, I'd have like three or four beers and I'd be like, I had a 12 pack. And one night I was over a couple of friends house and I was just drinking at their house. We were drinking some beers. And I got up to like, go to the bathroom and I just fell over. Just like stumbled over. And they're like, we've all the same amount of beers that you've had. Why are you so drunk? - Chris Farley asks. - Yes, on the coffee table. - I had visions of going through coffee. Never went through a cocktail but I got up and fell away from them. But yeah, that was when it took drinking to realize that wow, there's something really wrong here. - I gotta see you as a doctor. - So you went in and they give you a pet scan, a cat scan. - First thing it is, give me an MRI, specifically for the brain. And got the MRI and got that done and the doctor, the doctor called me back thinking MS is not a simple thing to diagnose. You actually have to get like spinal fluid and like look for lesions on the brain but this would have been a very clear indicator if I had lesions on the brain. So they took the scan, they took the MRI. I went in and did the thing. He called me and he said, he's like, well, you don't have MS, but I need to see my office tomorrow morning. - That's never good. - That's not right. - Or ever get in my office 'cause I can't tell you on the phone. - Yeah, so I was like, well, all right, what's going on here? So. - This was at night and you had to sleep on it? - I guess this is in the afternoon or the, yeah, yeah, whatever. In a way, in a way, I'm still glad it's not MS. MS is, you know, it misstakes to you. - That one on top has? - Depends, yes, he does. It depends on the type. There's four different types and it had been something, you know, like that. It would have been something that I would have lived with and gotten worse over the course of my life and degrade it by quality of life. - Yeah, essentially, you just have terrible shooting pain. - Or periods, mostly usually relapsing, you know, things where you've been eventually been pushed out. - So when he says, I want to see you in my office, don't you want to go, just tell me now. - Just tell me now, yeah. - I don't really remember. Yes, I think my instinct was to tell me now, but it was like, well, we'll find out what's going on. Maybe he found nothing, you know? I don't know. I've found nothing, I'll tell you over the phone. - You know nothing is, you just get a bill. - Yeah, you will get a bill. - So we're just 1,400 bucks, we're charging for finding nothing. - So I met him, and this is a doctor at St. John's in Santa Monica, so I met him. - Did your fiance go with you? - Oh yeah, Christie's been literally by side the entire time. He's gone and they all catch you guys all up and what's going on and Christie was there and he's so, this particular doctor, this is a long time ago. He, you know, he had a long time ago, I mean three weeks ago. - It's a long time. - It feels like a lifetime. It's three weeks ago, he showed me the MRI images on a piece of paper. I sort of like grew it out for me. He's like, yeah, I've seen the MRI. Here's what it looks like. You have a, you have a low grade glioma. And I said, I don't know what that is. You have a brain tumor. You have a low grade glioma in your brain. And at that point, to his credit, he sort of washed his hands of the affair because he's like, this is not an expert in this. I've been referred to this other doctor. - I'm a urologist. I can't help it. - Essentially, he's like ideal with Parkinson's. Like, I know what this is, but I can't really tell you much. He's like, he's like, you're a young people. You probably want to go home and Google this. I advise you not to. Only because these, this is a very sort of blanket thing. There's high grade and there's low grade. And the high grade is bad times. But the high grade is bad, bad times. And a lot of the data and stuff on the internet is very, very general from across the country, across the world. I'm eventually, the story will lead me to Cedar Sinai, where I'm going to treat it now. And that's world-class institution, a world-class doctor. And I feel so confident in my treatment. But at the time, it was like, the statistics are harrowing. - Right, these aren't statistics just from Cedars, or say of hope, these are from everywhere. - Yeah, and I, I, uh. I mitigate my own, my own chances, my own, my own factors being, you know, I'm a 30-year-old guy. I'm in good shape. I'm strong. I live, I live literally eight minutes away from Cedar's son. I mean, you know, I couldn't have ended up in a better place in my life for this kind of thing. But what, what, what, what did he tell you when he told you this? Sure, sure. He gave you any, so, so the first doctor, the MRI that you've got the low-grade glioma, you see this other doctor. He's the angiolus clinic and the angiolus clinic, essentially the cancer warded out the ward, the cancer arm of, of, of, of St. John's. St. John's, so I met with this doctor at St. John's and he, you know, he, with doctors, it's so weird like he, his, his, it was all wrong at first. Like, the, the whole mannerism, the first, I was supposed to be in the next, I was supposed to be with this doctor the next day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then we're like, call a doctor, see if you can get in sooner. We got to talk to this. We got to start, we got to put the wheels in motion. So, call them up and said, hey, can you take me any earlier? She's like, and then the receptionist, so can you be here at one? I said, yes, I can. So 1 p.m. on the same day as the diagnosis showed up at the angiolus clinic and, and got, got a really, really surreal meeting with the doctor. I mean, he, he, his, that's I manner was, it was empathetic, but it was like, this is what empathetic should be. Like, how do you write it off a list? You can see and put his hand on me. He's like, I am so sorry for all this. I am so sorry is happening to you. I want to simulate how it should be like make eye contact with patients. Yeah, but it was like when I hug one of my family matters. Pat twice on back, look into eyes. Once a Christian is like, I'm sorry. It's just not fair. It's just not fair. This happens. Express sympathy with me. Yeah, and it's like, like, Doc, we want to know what we're going to do about this. We want to plan like where you know me. I'm I'm I'm a I'm a solution oriented guy. So, you know, the here's here's where here's where the low point was when we were talking to the doctor and he actually got a look at the MRI. And and you know, I pressed him on an answer. I said, Doc, how rich should I be? What is what is what is going on here as a serious set like I know is it's I don't even know what look regularly home is and he's telling show me pictures and said I look to your MRI's like typically in these cases, he says to me typically in these cases, I say sick almost two a year. And I say, wow, that is really heavy stuff. Christy goes bananas. She loses it. It's it's not a good situation. Does she have to leave the room? Does she have to be there? She's there. She's she's you know, the people I make it sound bad. The people at the angels clinic are all really good people. They're all really. I mean, they were very attentive, you know, six to 12 months to live is his. But he didn't put in the the implication was pretty clear. They didn't put in those terms, but he was like typically in those cases in these cases. And keep in mind, I don't think he could glance at my stuff. I don't think he really studied my MRI. I mean, I've only he only knew I was coming in for about an hour, you know. So I don't I don't know how well versed he was hopefully on my situation. This is where this is where things said a little better. So hard to get worse. That's a low grade. That was what I gave you. He pulls a gun out. Since you're six to 12 seconds. By the time you get back to the park and garage, in fact, I don't need to validate your ticket. You won't make it out of here. Exactly. You don't have that for you. I guess not. So wait before we go on, where is this glioma in your brain? It's my brain stem. Hence why they cannot even biopsy it because that controls the value. The real estate is too valuable. They can't go in. It's inoperable, but not oftentimes. That means they do it because it's too late. Right. In this case, it means it's in too sensitive and error. Exactly. It controls respiration, cariac function. Inoperable ranch humor sounds terrible. It does. It does. It does not imply that there's no treatment. There's no there's no action here. What it implies is what it means is two two dangerous to go in there can't go in the rain stem. So he tells you I don't believe it's been attempted and doctors won't do it. They won't. Right. Maybe in some radical country or somewhere somewhere. It's tried. It's been tried and doctors don't do that. So now you've heard six to 12 months to live. Right. Possibly this all. You're getting married in a month. Married in six months. All happened over the course of a day and a half. Pretty much. And by the way, we should say that when you, the day you got your MRI, I believe was the last, the last day we all got together. I think it was. I think it was. I think it was. At that point, I was ready to talk to the doctor in a few days and be told I had MS. You called me two days later. I think we did our thing on a Tuesday. I think you called me on a Thursday. I called. Yeah, I called because I was supposed to start work on Monday or whatever it was. It's supposed to start on my TV pilot on Monday. You called me Thursday evening. Yeah, you call me back right as I, right after I left this doctor, it actually catches us up to this point in the story. And I filled you. I know what was going on and. So when you were sitting here last time, you were sitting here doing this podcast thinking there's a good chance I have MS. You were convinced. But look at you. I had a funny not so funny situation in the following day. So this is going to be a one up. Listen, his tumor has already upstaged my fetus. Right. But you know, when you're walking by the bed frame and your big toe catches it. It's just. Now there's no blood. There's a searing pain that I believe could be matched by. No, I had this. I had this horrible scene where our producer on the on our television show our line producer is her name is Dion and her father, her grandfather is Danny Thomas. Later on, I'll tell you about the coffee table story as in Marlowe Thomas is dad. Yes, and I'll tell you about a very surreal thing that happened. I can't remember if I told it on this or love line or whatever. But anyway, the point is this. You told me Thursday night. Right. What you told me Thursday night is, you know, I have an inoperable brain tumor and worst case scenario is six or 12 months. I was devastated. I went. I went into her office. So her so her her her grandfather Danny Thomas has started city of hope and does all this work with cancer. St. Jude's. Oh, sorry, not city of hope. Oh, oh, check it out. Would you please use on it in front of. All right. Anyway, St. Jude's and so she's pretty well versed in this in this topic and she's one of the most compassionate carrying sweet people on the planet. I show up Monday morning and I'm I'm I'm I was devastated by this news, but I was I was I was attempting to keep a poker face on in front of her because we're going to do our first table read like that day or the next day or something. And there's lots of it's supposed to be comedy mixed with home mixed with everyone's nervous. And so I walk into her office because I have to tell her you're not going to be starting on Monday. Right. And as luck would have it, the 300 pound teamster transportation guy is in there looking at cars that is going to be my driving car, my driving instructor car in the show. So I come walking in and and she's such a sweet soul. And she says five foot tall. And I say, uh, Dion, uh, Brian Bishop will will not be starting on Monday because he has a medical condition. And she says, what what is it? And I say, it's a tumor and and I break down into a key and she breaks down into a key in the tears or the tears are pouring. We're like hugging in the train. I'm pouring. I'm I'm falling. I'm sobbing my eyes up the last time I talked to him Thursday night. He said like I had six to 12 months to live. You know, he's 29. He's married in two months. And the teams are guy. The teams are guys going. Uh, we found a blue Saturn, but we don't have a white Saturn, but we don't have to sign. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And the guy standing in there. We're both. We're both just a pile of tears. I'm tearing up now. Just talking about. So we're we're just a pile of tears in there and she said, Oh, I know. I know my cancer. My my grandfather started St. Jude's or is it St. Jude? Yes, it is. Thank you. Look at the week. So, uh, so she's doing this whole thing. I'm just I'm just, I don't know. Maybe I'm under a lot of stress. I'm crime eyes out. The teams are guys like, you want me to leave? I was like, I'm sorry. You can stay. You don't have to leave. He's showing me pictures on the internet. Of course that he's going to buy on eBay. Well, she's the tears or she's a kind of person would cry. Even if I just told her, you know, one of my kids made a solid VM earlier that day, but me. We're just a pile of pile of tears and the poor teams are guys to stand in between us and try to sue us. Well, that's all right. I was, you know, I'm I'm really concerned. You should think about Adam's feelings when he's doing a pilot. I know it's right. I really needed. I needed a focus. Yeah, I really need to focus. By the way, you guys go back now. I mean since your 30 right and you guys met when you were. I will. it was 2002. So, yeah. 2002's when we met. That's when you started a phone screen. Phone screened over a level. Back in Brian was fat. One of the good ones. I know. [whooshing] In the next we have Adam Krulleshow 150, Pat and Oswald, Miss Risa Strosser in studio, with a letter from Bald Bride from September of 2009. Check it out. [whooshing] The thing with the Bruce Willis in the movies were the robots and it started, I don't know, there was Westworld and there was the Steppford Wives and anytime there's a society with robots, eventually the robots get smart and they want to kill and I feel like this is holding back robot technology in real life because every time, well you think about it, how much money in R&D does it take to develop a robot that would actually be lifelike? Like, right now, you could have robots at home, fucking, taken out the garbage and eating our wives' posties and we could, we could, I'm not saying it's the same chore. I'm just saying a multitude of tasks. Let's say, I'm sorry, hang on, I got to reprogram my Cunbot. I set it, I set it for 2,230, wait a minute, let me just reprogram right now, okay there you go. Hang on, hang on, when we're in the right now. Type circles and a lot of tongue, go ahead. Now, does it count a clockwise or both? You would not need to be here, your robot. The point is, yeah, could I send an interview bot? Right, that's the, that's all point. Like, I know what it's like. Or a quip bot. Yeah, you're on a quip bot, go in there and give Adam some quips. Yeah, you're, you're on the circuit, you're getting up, you're doing all these interviews with all these radio stations, you're tired as hell, you just told us how tired you were. We could be well down the road for, and having sex with these things and they could be doing housework and doing whatever. But yet, every movie that ever's been made since the 60s about robots is this apocalyptic view of the future. And so, now, you want some R&D money, you need some seed money, you need a couple of mill and I'm starting to get my checkbook out and then I'm like, oh yeah, I remember Stefford Wives. No, turn on me. Yeah, I don't think so. In Blade Runner, does it one of them crush his head with their thighs? I don't, you don't really need that. So let's, let's put the checkbook away. I will write you the check. There has to be a contract where the thighs can only go in so, to certain points, you can't, you can't go to head length. Now, I feel the humor we quickly before we go. Our own ball Brian could not be here today, but he sent an email and I just wanted to give people an update how he's doing. He said, he's sorry, he couldn't make it today. He's going to be admitted into Cedar's inpatient therapy program all week long. This is a good thing. He's going to be doing an intense, instead of just going in a couple hours a week to do physical therapy, he's going to be inpatient. He has an inoperable brain tumor with, yeah. Oh, he's the ripe old age of 30. So you know, there's a God, but not a smoker, a clean liver, an operable brain tumor, which they're working on very aggressively and we're keeping our fingers crossed for any history of that kind of stuff in his family. No, not that I know. So just a totally random, yeah. Just a tumor in his brainstem where they can't, they can't operate on it because there's too much important real estate in there breathing, you know, especially his brainstem. Like, if this was like, what the hell, what, what the hell's a Britney, Britney Spears old boy saying, if this was federal line, brainstem, they could definitely go in. Oh, no, are you kidding? They, they, they could go in with a hacksaw. They want to do this right now. We've got to clear the sawdust aside and we get to the tumor. Two shots is totally, we'll go right into it. Right. But he has a lot going on in his brain. So he's going to be, he and his brainstem will be getting excellent. He's 30. He's 30. And he just how old did Edie? I mean, lived to like 88. Let, let, let me write install was like 103. Yeah. I love that. That's God. Thanks God. Nice job. And I'm sure you're going to take, you're going to take Bill Hicks when? Yeah. Oh, he's 30. Okay. Good. That's great. Thanks, man. Big daddy. Allow me to live. It's all how old. Yeah. How old is, how old is John Ritter? You're 54. Okay. Good. Nice. Great. Thanks, man. Well, you know, there's a lot going on. Thanks, dude. Yeah. So hopefully he's, this treatment is taking and he's, he's on the man. But yeah, he's, he's, um, he's had an experimental drug, experimental for a brain tumors called a vast and he had a second infusion on Friday for which Edna has denied us coverage. That's nice. Um, but his energy's up. Hey, man, I'm with, listen, Glenn Beck says that a president, the witch doctor with 9/11, and do you remember with the Jesus Eagles flying in the fields? Yeah. Okay. Go ahead. He's not so glad he met Edna. Sorry. I'm a big, I'm a big Glenn Beck fan. So everything, anything that guy says, he's, he's a goal. So, um, he has been denied coverage, but he's doing very well as energies up. He's walking better. He says there's a great article that was published about him on LAS.com. So check that out. Are they doing like, is he having problems with like, like, perception or reading or stuff or physical stuff? It's physical. Uh, balancing using a walker. And it's like really. Thanks God. Yeah. Cool. So he, um, he wants you to know that updates are post on high brine with the y.com or an inconvenient tumor.com, which is his wife's blog. He also adds FYI, it was my birthday on Sunday and we celebrated by reveling in USC's win at Ohio State. Yeah. All right. T, you want to give a plug for your website out? Yeah. Uh, you can read all about my pregnancy, which is going to be probably over in a week or so on exploiting my baby.com. Give the C section by the way. I think so. Yeah. It's my baby's breed. That's what we did. You did. And we did it. We had the room next to, um, Dave Grohl, who also had a, uh, C section. Oh, really? Yep. A T. He and I would like walk out of our room. So you guys are like, how's it going, man? I don't know. It's pretty good. I'm really slept. Yeah. Jeez. That's pretty. Your wife had the C section. Mm-hmm. And she would, how much? How'd she do? Easiest pie could not have been easier. Okay. It's the best. I'm well nervous. No. I can, I'm telling you, there's no, you don't have a knuckle at it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You won't even know you had a kid. Yeah. But you know, the problem with that maybe won't be so invested in them. The difference between. Oh, please. The difference between mowing lawns all summer and buying and use car versus your uncle just dumping one of those home birthers. You know, you're smoking unless unless you go through the screaming, you're not going to love. He will bond with your baby. Look at that baby. They're so cute. All the things that have come easy in my life have not enjoyed and cherished as much as it's difficult. They then do the other thing. You know, lie down and have someone just punch you right in the stomach and shoot it out. Then you'll instantly bond. Yeah. Ricky, Ricky Lake will will get a pair of waffle stoppers and jump up and down in your belly until I think fires out. I always love the people. I love when like the Ricky. Is it Ricky? Like I love when people do the you don't need to have a physician. You don't need. And I'm like, I understand. I don't need it. But hold on, we're just right. We do have them, right? Yeah. We also don't need dentistry. They do that. Like they go, we can do dentistry without numbing. I know, but you have something called Nova K, right? Go get it. Yeah. I don't have to go get that shit. Right. We're not on the fucking civil war battlefield here. Go get the fucking Nova. Okay. You know, in the best time in history to live exactly right now. I'll do you one better. Not a year ago right now. Everything else before this moment. I'm going to do anyone better. 10 minutes from now. Yes, it'll be way better than it is right now. Ask my doctor. What would happen if this was before the air of C sections and my baby was breach, meaning it's head is up and it's butts down. It would I would probably die in childbirth. Yeah, but I love how they go. You know, we get C sections. C sections were around since the time of the Romans. That's why that's exactly. So there's all these people going, you got to do it the way like they have this weird cut off. It seems to be like little house on the prairie times. That's when they want. That's the one that that's the childbirth technology they want. If anything, a C section is even older than what they're doing. Cs for Caesar. Cs are yes, they're in delivery. Totally fucked up the Cs are salad for me. God damn it. You don't really creep at the Cs are salad. I think was invented in Mexico. Really? If you imagine that creamy anchovy salad and that on the heat of Mexico, like I've been riding all day, I'm so much. Would you mix some cheese and heavy cream and fish, croutons, the romaine and the rug. That's what I need to cool down. I'm so thirsty right now. Plus, by the way, why is my Mexican sound like a weird vulgarity? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What the hell was that? It's terrible. So T we can go to exploringmybaby.com and we can also see big fan by the way in theaters. As we speak. All right, Donnie, we'll take a fucking Skype call. Jesus Christ. How many fucking time? You know what I feel like? I feel like a pitcher who's waved off a retarded catcher sign 300 times and eventually I have to walk to the fucking plate and go, I don't want to throw a fucking slider. The fuck part of me shaking my head, don't you fucking understand? But all right, put the headphones on. Let's take the shitty Skype call that's never going to work now. Here we go, everyone. All right. Patten, you were emotionally checked out 10 minutes ago, but sit back into the seat and put your headphones on. That's the reason you can need to hand those over to Patten. Jesus Christ. There's only one set of headphones. Donnie's like their Patten. All right, so T, I'll just go ahead and get a try race board and keep you up on what's going through Pat's head. But don't worry, we won't be able to hear the call anyway. Go ahead, Skype caller. Oh hi, Adam. Hi, T. Hi, Patten. and I really feel the love here. - Thank you. - I'm sorry, um, I swear I'll make it a good call. My question was for Patton. I know that you recently moderated Comic-Con for Disney. You did two panels. - Yes. - Oh, yes. - Drop call. - Yes. - Drop call or no? - Yes. - I can't hear it. - Total vindagat damnation. - Totally dropped. - Right. - Although he-- - It was Stephen Hawking's voice box that was calling and wanted to know about Comic-Con. - I've just figured out the singularity of the unit. (laughing) - Skype call. - In a way I did, I answered his question. - It's beautiful. - Yes, and it got-- - It dropped out. - We wrapped it up with such a pretty-- - Oh no, Donnie, we please understand that you were born under black-- (laughing) - You're snake bitten. (laughing) - All right. - Was that necessary? - Fucking times, I gotta wave off the goddamn Skype call. - All right, one more Skype call. - All right. - Eight note, eight minute number is coming. - That's a big podcast, everybody. All right, now I know a pan podcast. - A pan's kind of where we call big fan. It's out the interest that we speak. He doesn't give a shit about your tweet. So fuck off. Until next time, Saturn Perola for pan-assure. Teresa Strosser saying, "Mahala." - Coming up next, we have Adam Kuleshow 319. Once again with Teresa and Brian, Brian giving a one-year update on his health for May of 2010. (whooshing) - From a warehouse in Glendale, straight to your laptop, it's the Adam Corolla podcast. On today's show, Adam welcomes the co-founders of Ghib-Jab to Spira Celes Brothers. We'll dust off a round of totally topical Tivo trivia time today. And Teresa Strosser's got the news. And now, made possible by a bunch of nerds working for free, Adam Corolla. - Yeah, get it on. I got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Man, date, get it on. Love these day and day shows. Teresa Strosser's here, loaded for bear with the news. Bald Brian is here. Bald, how you feeling? - Feeling pretty good. So yeah, yeah. - Just celebrated my one-year anniversary of my initial diagnosis. - Yeah, so that's a big deal. - Yeah, I'm doing that from there. - Was that paper anniversary or what? - That's the paper I'm sure. I get myself a new diagnosis. - That's fun. - Yeah, party dance. - And I understand your last MRI looked good. - It was good. Dr. was really pleased with the result. It was probably as realistically as good as you could have hoped. You know what I'm saying? There's no growth in the tumor. And Dr. was happy. He thinks he sort of, he used the term. He thinks they may have reversed the progress, which he sort of alluded to for the first time. Remember, I was doing really poorly last summer. And he's like, you know, if we had reversed the progress, at that point, you know, we may not be your topic today. - Not the progress you're making. - No, the progress of the tumor's on. - Good advancement. - Right. - The generation as they call it. - So the tumor was growing. And if it couldn't stop it from growing, then that would essentially be a death sentence. - That would have been dark, dark times. - And they stopped it from advancing. - Based on the last EMRIs, it's sort of, it's gone back to its original smaller size. And they think it's, they got it in made in its mode. Not got what? I mean, I'm certainly not cured. And I'm not even in remission. But I'm doing, I'm doing all right. I feel pretty good. - What would constitute remission? - I don't know in a brain tumor situation. Because a lot of times I guess they can carve it out, operation, you know, operation wise. They can't obviously do that in my case. So I don't know if I'm in a candidate for remission in the future, but made in this mode was what they call it. And they're pretty happy with that. - If they can maintain its current size, you could sort of go along as you're going. - Yeah, doctors, you probably know, doctors only to explicitly give you a lot of really good, for a positive outlook type stuff. Because then you can look for a whole bit. Well, you said a lot. But he did say is like, you know, we've seen people, I've seen, I've had patients who've lived 18, 20 years in this situation. So hope for the best, man. I really got, they kind of manage your expectations like guys who handle independent films. (laughing) What you got is a tweener. Yeah, so it's not really comedy. It's not really rom-com. We can hope for life on video. - Yeah, I'm gonna see if my people might rent dead in Canada. (laughing) - All right, you know. - Well, good news on the ball Brian front and better news if you didn't get anything for mom, because Mother's Day is around the corner. We have a sponsor, a real sponsor proflowers.com. And let me say this everyone, your response has been great thus far. Here's how we can stay on the air and keep everyone working in here. Right now there's a building with 12 people in it. Everyone's here pro bono, which means I get to screw 'em. I hope. (laughing) - I hope, and bono. - Yeah, well I'm pro bono. - Right, so that's a lot of interest. - You're in your turn and you're pro bono too. Then why can't we just chill together? You know, let's see what happens. - That's so facto. - But the way we make our money, at least try to make some of it back. I don't want to say make money. I will say make it back. - Yeah, well try to get back to neutral. - It's like we went to Vegas and dropped the hundred grand. And the way we can get back eight grand, which still doesn't mean we're ahead. - It wasn't makes some money. - But you feel better about it. - As you go to proflowers.com, they have a dozen roses under 20 bucks. Wow, I mean back when I had no money, you know what I always complain about? Why is everything so got to have cheap now? When I didn't have any money, eight ball of coke was $5,000 and a dozen roses. We're like, they're like $120. - I remember that too and here's the thing. With these, you get a glass bottle. - Then what can you work in an eight ball? - I know, no, there's a good way to ingratiate yourselves to our one and only sponsor. But let me just say, for 20 bucks, you also get a vase and a flower. The whole thing. - Yours and the vase and it's 1999, oh my God, such a deal. - You're gonna get mom flowers anyway. - Right. - Yeah, you can support the Adam Corolla show. - Yeah, mom's your mom flowers. - And by the way, they check it. Like they go, how's this guy doing compared to Dennis Prager's show? - Right. - Howard Stern's show or whatever show. And so what you want to do is you want to rank up there so we can keep advertising with them and stay in business here. So anyway, go to proflowers.com and you just enter the password A's. You click on the microphone in the upper right hand corner and you're right in ACE and Donnie can get his kid braces. - Oh, would that be nice? A little orthodontia? - Mm-hmm. All right, so let's, you want to do a little news? - Yeah. - Yeah, let's get to the news. Why the hell not? - We should know the news. - Yeah, it's usually me talking the whole time. Let's try some news. - Well, the real news, Adam Florent Glass today. - Yeah, look at that. Reading glasses on too, I read my proflowers saying. - Oh, I had no idea. - Wow. - I've been hiding this from us. - You know, what Hamlas is, probably about a year, I actually, about two years ago, I was in Peron. And I was a band. - You were with Heidi Flies and Spurs. - I'm banging the bacheezus out of one of her macaws. Wow. Part of the deal. This gives me a big tie. - Oh, God. (laughs) - That sounds like the worst oral, I don't know. I was there and I was out to dinner. I was working on, I was with Eric Stromer and Tanner Faust. - Oh, on the top gear. - Top gear, top gear, thank you. It's working on top gear. And we're sitting in a restaurant and I says, look at the menu and I was like, "God damn." Everything's so dark and the writing's so small and Stromer handed me his glasses and it went boom. Wow, into focus. And then he proceeded to choke on something about 10 minutes later. (laughs) But anyway, that's when I realized, yeah, crap. But I put it off a couple of years. But now, my seeing is fine for everything, but if I'm reading, reading now, I got to put on some glasses. But the joke's on my eyes, 'cause I don't read. (laughs) - Yeah. - That is, yeah. - Take that break. - Yeah, I'm sorry I'm reading. - Yeah. - Now, if Stromer had been choking, would you know how to Heimlich him? - Well, here's what happened. - With the glasses. He called on this podcast, he got something like a lodge in his windpipe and he started to choke a little bit and we're at a dinner table with, you know, like 14 people that kind of a nice, or at least as nice as it gets over there in Perump. And I didn't want to be one of these hop up, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. We got a situation here, because I know there's a 10% chance of him choking himself out, but there's a 90% chance of him just being humiliated when I hop up and knock him with some scull air and yell, oh my God, somebody come on. - You played it cool by strolling over the choking victim. - I played it cool by just looking at him and I just kept looking at him and he was sitting right next to me and knowing else knew what was going on. - Right. - And I was kind of like looking at him, looking at him, looking at him. And I was, you know, 20 minutes away from snapping at him. - Sure, sure, sure. - And he was just kept looking at him and eventually like kind of coughed it out. And he said, well, you're just staring at me when I was choking. Let's see, yeah. But then power the mind. - I was observing you carefully. - He thanked me for not actually jumping up and getting him in a bear. - Because no one wants a big kasha when they can just work it out. - I gotta say, I gotta tell you, if it's at a dinner table, especially in front of a bunch of like executives and people you don't know and stuff like that, choking out versus making a scene, it's a coin toss to me. - Yeah. - Alright, does Adam Krullis show 319? For the next, we have Adam Krullis show 1101, featuring Larry Miller. Alson Rosen and Brian Bishop from 2013, the other bald guy. Check it out. Hypothetical Road Trip Larry Miller, you ready? I am. I'm so ready and happy to be back. Go ahead. The game where there are no wrong answers. All right. Oh, boy. I've always liked Hypothetical Road Trip but I'm so ready now. It's been a while. I've been here for 14 months. You think you're up to it? The night I had and the night I cracked my head open, I was just on your show. Really? That's right. And you know what? I am back now for Hypothetical Road Trip and it will show you and you two and everyone on the other side of the windows how strong I've gotten, how good my head is and how ready I am. Please continue. Now this is the trip. This is the Hypothetical Road Trip. I started many years ago on the radio show when you leave Santa Monica Pier and you go to Epcot Center in Florida and you have to drive with this individual. I believe the first guy was ponytail pulled through the back of the hat guy versus way too much turquoise guy or one of those. One of these guys are just fucking into turquoise. By the way, if you just pick a rock that you've decided that you're in love with, something's wrong with you. Male or female. Look, you're redoing your bathroom and kitchen and you want a nice granite countertop. I'm not going to hold that against you but you just go and you just figure out that a geod or opal or like you figure out something that becomes your stone. It's not easily. It's my stone. Yeah, and you just never stop talking about it and displaying it on belt buckles on the top of the, you know, cowboy hats and things like this. Something's up, right? Yeah, and by the way, whenever they say this used to be a holy stone for Indians, I was going to say, and where are they now? How'd that go? You know, workout? Yeah, whenever they say, you know, the ancient Egyptians believed. Yeah, well, let's examine the word belief because there's guys who believe that, you know, rhino tusk makes you dick wider, but it doesn't make them geniuses, makes them assholes. They're the same guys who believed that, you know, if we just follow them into the red sea on these chariots, it'll all work out. Right. All right, so we get started here. Go ahead. We have some new listeners in the last year, which are probably point out the layer was never really. His batting average was not great. Not great at this game, but I knew that one or two of you would bring up that the record has been spotty, but you know what? I refuse to hear that. I refuse to accept it. I am ready. You know what? Just begin the game. Come on, Adam. And you know what? You'll see what I can do. Okay. All right. Drives with seat reclined guy. You know, the guy, these are the guys. You have to find these, these guys. Here's where these guys live. These guys live on the 110 between the 101 and the 105 freeway. It's a nice stretch to cuts right through sort of south central and downtown and McCoy, not McCoy, but Watts and stuff like that. And whatever we drive home from the airport, I play the, let's see if we can spot a car that's under $500 game and we always spot three or four just in that one stretch, but guys who drive in the fully reclined position or guy and I've been on a flight with this guy recently carries the yoga mat with him on it. Like literally has a yoga mat caddy, like a shoulder harness. Yes. Like he says, some sort of like the world's gayest archer. How sad for you that you've begun with this because it's so obvious. This is, this is an easy one, easy for me, difficult for you. Number one, I would never drive anywhere, be anywhere, walk anywhere with the person holding the yoga mat. That's just as bad as the people who have the turquoise stones. I would never, ever be with that person. Let alone on a cross country drive on the yoga mat. I would always be with the guy who wants to drive with the seat tipped back because the chances are A he's very fat and B he also smokes gigantic cigars as he's leaned back in the seat. So he'll have an extra cigar. So this is so easy that it's not even worth calling it easy again. I would never be with the guy who carries the yoga mat. And I would always be with the guy who has a cigar as fat as his neck. That's right. That's coma served you well, my friend. It's amazing. You literally knocked some sense into yourself. Well, he was riding a streak people of 0 for 45,500. I mean, he was embarrassing. He missed almost every, every one, even ones where I said, it just gas. I mean, it's literally coin tosses. But as it turns believable, I was right and saying, oh, good. I got wow. All right, let's keep going. Well, you know what? Let's do that. Let's just keep going. Let's keep going fat, Al Sharpton or skinny Al Sharpton. Oh, again, skinny Al Sharpton. I'm looking at pictures of both of them. You can go to amcroll.com. I these are both horrifically scary. Yeah, that's no good. By the way, the skinny one really, really looks like that head was just photoshopped on. Yeah, that doesn't look like a human being. He's a hero. He stands by the 12, uh, what's your name? Toana Brawley thing that that he does stand by. By the way, even though turn out to be a hoax. It's amazing that some people can look. The fat one looks a lot better. But let me, let me answer this. Let me ask you this. Yeah, but if you're looking to become a leader in a certain community, is that the look? Which one? I'm looking at fat one on the right with like the huge medallion and the jogging suits and a camel, though, like I just it's tough to present yourself. Here is my look. I will look. Here's what I look like. I will take a hot iron to my hair. I'll grow some pork chops sideburns. I will then shape. I'll eat some pork chops then after I grow that out. I just can't believe that. Look, I mean, it's so funny when you go, Hey, I'm a, I would like to lead this community. I would like this. Is there, is there less credible luck? I guess is what I'm asking. And by the way, ironically, the skinny one is about to eat a huge meal. He's got tortellini there. Yeah, just the bloated James Brown with a medallion look and a camel, though. And when he goes, when he stands up and goes, look, I want to talk about some important topics that are that are plaguing this community. You're like, what, like your hair? It's a weird, the yes man behind them should have said no. Yes, somebody should have said that. By the way, either one of those taken by a ship full of aliens, right, they will not attack earth. Right. Nothing bad will happen. That's a good point. The commander will say wrong planet. Right. But there is a legitimate question and a deep question here about which one of these I would like to drive cross country from Santa Monica pier to Epcot center in Florida. And once again, I'm not sorry for you on the second question, but, but I laugh. I, but to me, it's to laugh at because the obvious answer, comma, Adam, is that I would pick neither. And that's right. Neither. I would not go to cross country in a car with either because they're both. And this is something we haven't run into yet in this game. They're both grotesque. Yeah. They're, they're really, there's no pleasure in driving that might have cross country. 100 yards would be impossible to either of these two. I have discovered the untruth of a question that assumes you'll see only truth in it. Therefore, I say neither. Unbelievable. I've thought for sure he wouldn't get that because I was almost a trick question. It was a trick question. You know what? Again, it's it's almost amazing. And to people who know this game well, they're, well, they're finally happy that there's a lot of money being lost right now. Yeah, that's why I'm gonna be honest. I've lost some myself. But, but how nice to know that the game, that the show that you are finally seeing the depth of my responses. Do you have another one? Yes, I do. Okay. Guy from storage wars or chick from extreme couponing. This is a question that matters. This is a question that has, I don't understand why they're not allowed to look into the storage unit. Why can't we, why can't we look into it at the owner technically, maybe at that point? No, I know. They're, I mean, there's some law, but it would seem, oh, can you imagine? I mean, it's nice. It's this Monty Hall running the storage facility. I mean, just fucking open the door up and then we'll bid on what's in there. There's a motorbike In there, you'll get a few grand, and if there's nothing but a, you know, sack full of moths, you'll get not so much like what? What's the world? Why? I think I know by law they can't do it, but I don't know what's a weird law, isn't it? Maybe because if it was worth less if they let people look in and then there would be no bids on it You'd be left a lot of filled with things with crap or at least if they bought it for 200 bucks and decide unseeing They're like now it's your responsibility to clean the shit out. I guess I just I don't know if there's a, we have to figure it out. Is there a law that says the guy like when Paris Hilton But someone bought Paris Hilton's storage unit and found some like herpes of medication or something in it a few years back But they didn't even know it was Paris Hilton's until they bet on it. It's hard to believe But I haven't seen this show. What criteria do they use when deciding how much to bid? What are they told? You know That's all thing the guy just has an instinct about what's behind door number three kind of thing It's a weird they open the door and everyone just looks at it. No one's allowed to go in. They just kind of open the door Yeah, they crane their necks and if they see a bunch of boxes and there's one guy it's like a bidding thing I want to go 200 bucks. All right Wow, you know what though the insects in those storage bins Mm-hmm are weeping to get out. Mm-hmm. They're just ugly places But let me get to the truth of the question here. Right. If I may which Which human which character would I rather drive cross country with the man? Who is who has that storage unit or he's gonna buy that storage unit? What either way they're both so sick, but but or as you say the the woman who Collects too many coupons. Yes, I have seen the coupon show Mm-hmm, and I have seen many of the women on the coupon show many of the housewives on the coupon show There are many of them. I would say a half to three quarters who are very pretty who are very Pretty in a in a regular guy way in like a me or any cameraman way Where you know you want to say if you're a star or a governor you shouldn't be with that woman But if you're do a couple of shows in Indianapolis and you go down to the hotel bar after Words sure could happen. Mm-hmm. So you know what I would always like to see a woman who could be potentially pretty and I would be happy to talk to her about her coupons because I don't know anything about coupon I know plenty about coupons, but it would always give us something to talk to this is an easy topic to open a discussion Between a woman who may be very pretty and well me So I would never ever want a guy who's even been near a storage unit to buy it or to sell It mm-hmm because he's as he's as go test to me. Mm-hmm as the man who was going to you went to coupon always always the coupon woman. Okay Wow Great for three great Larry. Let me just ask a simple question at this point. Mm-hmm enough said Unbelieveable All right Historic monumental first only time Larry one high-political road trip. Good job. All right. That doesn't waste cool classics Make sure to choose tomorrow for an on-installment. Oh, then I'll get it on Hello, and welcome to Pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on Pluto TV We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long catch anchor man the legend of Ron Burgundy fantastic The matrix trilogy welcome to the real world. Mean girls side up And so much more for showtime's press nothing. They're free 24/7. That is so effects on Pluto TV stream now pay never Podcasting isn't just about talking. 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