Patrice O’Neal Destroyed Me | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

- 100% - 100% (bell ringing) - So good to see you. - Good to see you. - That's a great story you told me. - That's one of the best. - Yeah. - It's Liam. - Yeah. - I am, I've never enjoyed my wife more than when her come comes out. - It's a nice way of saying that. - Believe that so that we don't get flagged, but it's when she turns into a full-blown bitch, it's my favorite to other people. - Right, not to you. - Not to me, I hate it, but when she does it to other people, and she does it to me so often that I'm almost, I'm almost numb to it. It's the way black people don't hear their fire alarms going off. - Did you mean smoke detectors? - That's it. - Do you think that's people that did her go, are you not noticing the bitch going off? They go, "Oh, I'm numb to it. I'm so sorry." - I'm so used to this. - Yeah, and I remember my dad like when we were growing up, my mom would be like such an asshole. And he would be so unfazed. And you'd be like, "Hey, man, like, are you not clocking this?" And he'd be like, "What's that, buddy?" And you're like, "Oh, he's completely disconnected. He's zoned out of it." - Yeah. - And that's how he, that's how you survive. - Yeah. - You survived by not engaging it. - It's gotta be, I wonder if it's adjacent to like. - Smoke detectors. - And to like emotional abuse or a guy that cheats on his wife, and then she just goes, - What, it doesn't bother me. I have a great house. - I'm used to it. - I'm used to it. - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, she does it so often. - Sure. - Yeah. - Sure, sure. - I felt, I wish I could share the story with everyone of how my wife, the rescue dog that is my wife. - Yeah, you can't totally, 'cause there's some legal ramifications. - There's a legal ramifications. But suffice to say, every now and then you, every, this is the way you gotta look at it. Every now and then, when your wife's a bitch to you, like a full-blown bitch to you, remember, everyone gets it. - Right, not just you. - Not just you. And so you gotta go, this is gonna come in my benefit at some point. - Yeah, like if you're married to a cage fighter, and every now and then he throws you around a little bit, also he protects you when people call you a whore. - Yep, right, so for lining. - So for lining, did you see that, go ahead? - No, I was just gonna say, it's pretty exciting as Florida boys that Porosos is now in public. - Oh, let me tell you. - But Tom. - It's a pretty exciting time. - Tom, I can't wait till, first of all, publics is. - People don't know, people don't know. And nobody knows when you travel the country, you find out that there's grocery stores that are like their identity is with a certain market. Like I move here, I was like, what the fuck's Ralph's? And then after living here for so long, you're like, it's part of the identity of LA. And in Austin, you know, HEB is like. I was just about to say that. HEB is like, so I got a Peruvian hot sauce. I don't, I just put it on my breakfast. Someone get me this hot sauce. It's a Peruvian hot sauce. - Is it Aki? - DJI, it is. - Yeah, yeah. - How'd you know? - 'Cause I'm Peruvian. - Yeah, it is. - Yeah, it's fantastic. I love Aki. - Yeah, I just got it in HEB and I flew home with it. It was that good. - Yeah, it's great. - That's so crazy. But, but my, yeah, that's so crazy. - And I hope that, so when I moved, sorry, 'cause I moved in the Midwest as a kid. - Yeah. - So you don't, you're a kid. You don't have like the, like the scale and scope of the United States. And when it comes to grocery stores. - That's it. - Yeah. - Yeah, Aki. - This is the fucking hot sauce. - It's good stuff. - Aki. - Aki. - It's very Peruvian. - I got this in HEB when you say that. And I hope that someone supports, keep going. - No, no. So like growing up, I just thought everyone had crogrers. 'Cause that's what I went to, right? And then you move. And like the next place had crogrers. You're like, yeah, those are grocery stores. You get to Florida and it's Albertsons and Publix. But Publix is like the standout. Like that's the place to do your premium grocery shopping. Publix has everything. - Yeah. - And it was like, we'd go to the deli just to get sandwiches. - Pub subs, okay. Pub subs is like to, everyone I think has probably heard of the Pub subs. Pub subs when you were a kid. When I was a kid, you would get a 12 inch Pub sub. I mean, it's bigger than 12 inches. It was massive. And then you'd eat half of it. And then you'd let it marinate in the fridge for another half of a day. And then when you got it the second day, you'd have to flip it so that the heavy part of the bread got wet. But that was a better version of Publix up. And I got my mouse watering. There's Publix in Atlanta as well. When we were doing season two of free birts, season one of free birts, my mouth is actually watering. I had Peter and Kyle with me. And I got them Pub subs. And then I said to them, let the other six inches marinate. It's an Italian one, double the meat. Big, let it marinate. And then both of them were like these two fucking Northerners, these Yankees, these carpet baggers. These fucking shills were like, I like a crispy bread. I need crispy bread. I was like, no, you don't understand. I don't let it sit, man. And the beauty of Publix is, and this is just for Florida people. If you're not from Florida, just turn off this podcast right now. Is you would go into Publix and that is where you would get all the stuff for the day on the boat. You would go into Publix and you'd get chips. You'd get like four Pub subs. You'd get a hopefully Porosos vodka. You'd get a 12 pack of beer, a case of beer. You'd get some vodka, you'd get some tequila. You'd get everything for the boat. And then you'd get it onto the boat. And then, and I did this with the girls. I bet I have a picture of this. This is one of my best days. One of my favorite days of my life. We go, I'm getting ready to shoot lucky. And we're in St. Pete. And I say to the girls, would you? I've never been, I've always been afraid to spend money in. And I like, I'm just, I never have the balls to be like, pull the trigger and go, we're going to get a boat for the day. And I reach out and I see you. I find a boat for the day. It's my girls who've never been on the water in Florida. And so we go out to like picnic island or some island in the middle of the, in the middle of golf. The girls tell Leanne that it's international waters. Look, it can drink. And Leanne goes, well, I've heard of that. Yeah, you're right. So I get four, I get probably, knowing me, I've probably got eight Pub subs. And then I took the girls out in a, that's so funny. I have a picture of Leanne's ass came up first. Nice. I take them out into what they call international waters. How old, how old? Oh, this is just recently. Oh, I think it's when I shot lucky. Okay. This is a picture of us on the boat. Yeah. But the girls all had, and they had friends with them. My parents were there. God, I look fucking great. Such a weird thing to say. I look, I didn't even see Leanne in that picture. Yeah. And I got, but I got Pub subs. And the girls were eating public subs in the water. I mean, I look, I can tell you what I got. I got flips, flipsides. I got Reese's peanut butter cups. I got pork rinds. I got Pub subs. I got high noons. I got, I got, it was the funnest day. That's the best. And so as owners of a vodka company, Porosos, we are very, very proud to say we are in public right now. Yes. For Fourth of July, buy one, get one free, a ball of Porosos, you get another ball of Porosos. You are going to need vodka for Fourth of July. Fourth of July is a stock up the bar kind of a vet. You're going to get cold beers. You're going to get IPAs because you got that one uncle who comes down to bring his own room. And this is a special Fourth of July. Is this our 250? Isn't this the 250th anniversary? Yes. 250th anniversary. Yeah, man. You got to understand. Back when we started this country, they were just coming up with the meter over in in Paris. The meter. We'll get into that. Okay. These are 250th anniversary celebrated with Porosos. I am going to try my hardest. I'm going to be in Atlanta. I'm going to try my hardest to come down for Fourth of July and spend it in Florida so that I can get some Porosos, get on the water. I've greenlit a couple drinking days now from my doctors and get some Porosos, get a boat, go out to an island and do a beautiful photo shoot. Have you watched that documentary? Don't even start on documentaries. The American Revolution. Have you watched that one that has, what's his name, Boone, Daniel Boone? Oh, yes. I've seen this. I mean, my man was like Steve McQueen, like he was the coolest guy. He was the baddest motherfucker in the world. Do you know that, do you know the bottom of the Alamo? He was just stopping by to get a good night's sleep. Really? At the Alamo. He was just showing up. He was on his way somewhere and died there. Did you see when they kidnapped his daughter? No. Okay. I have not seen this documentary. Oh my God. So first of all, it's great because there's all these historians and they're talking about someone works here. You better pull up Daniel Boone. They're talking about how, when he first, so he was living in North Carolina and he had some serious debts, right? And so his plan was he was going to go to Kentucky and he was going to, I guess, get a bunch of hides, you know, from different animals that he was hunting and this was going to help them settle his debts. But the natives, which at that time, there were 300 tribes across the country of Native Americans. different tribes, the ones in Kentucky. I think they were the, was it the Shawnee or something? They like ran his ass out of there. Like he was terrified and they were fucking, these are serious. They'd kill, you know, just super aggressive and warriors. So he goes back empty handed and there was a guy, like a judge who was hearing a case of how he was indebted to this guy who was gonna basically send him to a labor camp. But that judge had bought 20 million acres or some shit and he basically bought the state of Kentucky. He was like, how about instead of going there, sending you to labor camp, you go with some other settlers and take this land that I need basically, that I bought and wipe these, get these natives out of there. Throughout this doc, there are a bunch of like history professors, half of them say Native Americans and the other ones, you're just like the fucking Indians. They keep saying they're like Indians were everywhere, man. Which I'm like, I don't academics look out for that more than anybody else. They're like, yeah, there's Indians all over the place. Well, at one point, he establishes, it's like Boonsville. It's like the largest settlement and he just becomes the de facto leader. Everyone just follows what he says. And he trains his oldest daughter to be like super self-sufficient. Like a fucking marksman, like hunter, great with tools, weapons, everything. One night, the Shawnee kidnap his 14 year old daughter and they have her tied up and him and some of the guys track her. She was so savvy, she's 14 years old. As they're taking her away, she's tearing pieces of her fabric from her dress, leaving it on the ground to be as like a trail. That's how she's thinking as she's being kidnapped. Can you imagine one of your daughters thinking like that? I don't be like, I put down birds here. They fucking ate it, Isla. Well, she did that. They found her, killed the the Shawnee Indians and then just took her back and he's like, you good? She's like, yeah. I mean, it was wild. But yeah, was it Boone's burrow? Yeah, that was like the first big settlement at the time. 1775. Yeah. 1775. Wait, can you go down and see if I was accurate on he died at the Alamo? Did he die at the Alamo? It looks like Missouri. Wait, who died at the Alamo though? David Crockett. Different guy. David Crockett. God damn it. David Crockett and Daniel Boone are like, are like, if you scroll back up. Oh, sorry. Scroll up a little bit. It was further, let's see. David Crockett and Daniel Boone are like, bill packs in a bill, Paul Man. Yeah. I mean, he was a savage, dude. Oh yeah, doesn't it say there? Yeah, see? July 1470, his daughter, Jemima and two of the girls were captured outside by a war party. What documentary is this? It was on Netflix. Yeah. It's about the American Revolution, yeah. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah. 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So the guy that created the meter, they killed him in the French Revolution. Okay. Because he created the meter. Yeah, they didn't like big thoughts. So they were like, you know, anything that was kind of challenging, anything was like, yeah, what are you talking about meters? I don't, we already have our own measurements and you're gonna come at us with meters. You know, cut us head off and that's how it worked. Yeah. It's kind of makes sense a little bit when you start thinking about day them and. And you know, the way change happens. - Oh, right. - Everyone shut the fuck up. - You know what, we're not done saying faggot. And so, it's kind of interesting all of that. And the French Revolution really is the very first cancel culture. Rob's Pierre started cancel culture where he was like, basically they were like, it's really crazy the correlation I find between cancel culture and the French Revolution because it was arbitrary. You know how I remember how people were like, we get canceled 'cause they had like a public get together during 2020 or they weren't wearing a mask. And now sometimes you watch stuff on Netflix. Like I put on this LBGTQ TV show on Netflix it was when they did the show at the Greek. And I see some people all wearing masks because it was close enough to 2020 and they didn't, they didn't want to get canceled. They wanted to look like allies, you know. And so it's really interesting to me or they had fucking people with, who knows? But my point is, it's really close the French Revolution and cancel culture. And then, and then this guy created the meter. - Yeah. - Now there's a reason that he created the meter. I think it's, they needed a measurement. But what was, their measurements were all over the place. And so he said, oh, you know what? This is one millionth of them, the distance between here and the North Pole. Which no one could really quantify, you know. And it was all math and it clearly he was autistic 'cause he didn't relate to anyone. And he was just this guy that created the meter in what, 1770? So it was at the same time that we have Daniel Boone. We've got Daniel Boone, we've got Davey Crockett. They're fucking killin' Native Americans and then this guy's creating the meter. And then by the way, they killed him for it, okay? It was too big of an idea. Here's the thing that made me laugh so hard. So, for a period of time, France goes, all right, this is not gonna be as funny as I found it. I could not stop laughing, Tom. - Okay. - For a period of time, they adopt it. They go, all right, we're gonna accept the meter. I mean, he was like, we're gonna have a big meeting, you're gonna bring everyone from all the different countries out and you're gonna introduce the meter. So he gets, like a gold bar, one meter long on a velvet table. It's covered and in front of the whole room, he takes a cover off and he goes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the meter. Now, it's such an arbitrary distance that everyone's like, what the fuck's a meter? Like, it's before anyone knows what a meter or a yard or a foot or anything is. This is a meter. Guys, this is my invention. It's the meter and everyone's like, the fuck are we talking about? I couldn't stop laughing and then he unveiled a bunch of brass ones. He's like, grab your own meters, everybody, take them home. Tell them we're using the meter. But it was, I still don't understand what a fucking meter is. And he showed them just the distance. - Yeah, it goes this is the meter. - And everyone's like, okay. And then finally someone's like, just fucking kill that guy. I don't know what the fuck a meter is. And I was laughing so hard if I was like, if I was like, this is the solution of the world. It's called a thing of a jigger. - Yeah. - And everyone's like, what the fuck are, no, no, no, no, I've done the math. I've done the math. Trust me. - But you start saying it too, okay? - You start saying it too. But it's such an arbitrary distance. - But one thing you nailed to is that in this time, really in a bunch of places. The French did it, the Brits did it, the Spanish did it, is at the Italians did it. If you were like, I got some ideas, people go, just fucking kill this guy. - Yeah. - And they would just do it. Everybody that had big ideas, they're like, fucking kill him. He is so mouthy, he's so fucking full of himself. Let's just kill him. And they just did. - We need to sanitize our stuff before he doesn't believe in God. Kill him. - Kill him. - Yeah. - It's so interesting that they end up killing this guy because he introduced the meter. He just, his is a form of measurement. - Yeah, it's just, that doesn't seem like enough. But back then, it was because it really was upsetting people to hear, like, you got to start thinking this way. Hey, by the way, gravity's real. They're like, you know what? Fuck you. Kill him. They just didn't want to hear. And the planet starts circling the sun. Kill him. Anything that was a new idea. - Anything that forced you to scratch your chin. They were like, he's just killed him. What's crazy is Napoleon took over the country like twice. - Yeah. - And they never killed him. They just exiled him. This guy came over the meter and they killed him. We should find, what's the, there's got to be a list of people who introduced new ideas throughout history that were killed for these ideas. I know there's got to be a substantial list of this. - There has to be. It makes you almost go like, I understand what it's like to me. And here's, well, I wasn't thinking of Martin Luther King, but socrates, socrates. - Yeah. What is this? Well, here look, yeah. Giordano Bruno, Italian philosopher, cosmetologist, expanded on the idea of infinite universe, heliocentricism burned at the stake. Thomas Moore, English salesman, author Utopia was beheaded on the orders of for refusing to sign the act of supremacy, which made the King's Supreme Head of Church. - There's got to be so, especially in science, you know. - Yeah, scientists killed for their ideas. - Scientists, yeah, that's a better one. - Oh, look at this. Antoine La Vosier. - 2020. - Yeah. - Who's that guy? - Brigadier General, lead scientist, heading Ron's nuclear program. I don't think I was thinking about that. (laughing) Look at this. Antoine La Vosier, known as the father of modern chemistry, guillotine by the French Revolution's reign of terror. Execution was largely driven by his former career as a tax collector. - Oh, you know what? You know what a lot of it was? You know what a lot of the executions during the reign of terror was? That the. - This last one, by the way. - Who's this? - Michael, that's what we're talking about. Spanish physician Theologian famously discovered the pulmonary circulation of blood burned at the stake for writing unorthodox theological texts. They're just like fucking kill this guy, yeah. We know what a lot of it was is that that's where the money was coming from. The money was the rich people were like, yo, I wanna hear more big ideas. Go and do math. And then the guy would do math. I mean, dude, Martin Luther got in trouble for just translating the Bible. - Yes. - And being like, guys, we should all read it. And they were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - But he interpreted it as well, right? Like, didn't Luther just think he just. No, he translated the Bible. What was happening was the church was interpreting the Bible for us. So the church is like, in the Bible it says, you can fuck your wife twice. You can beat up your wife twice. As long as you give us like a hundred dollars every time you beat her up, and you're still gonna have it. And then people are like, okay, cool, I'll do that. - Yeah. - And so they were kind of liberal with like, they were cheating a little bit. - Yeah. - It's kind of crazy. What do you think you'd have to do to get killed for your ideas as a comic? - As a comic? - Like, we came pretty close with the roast. - Yeah, that was pretty, yeah. - People got really upset with the roast. - They get upset. - I'm not a good roast joke, got a comic. I'm not like, no one's ever seen me go, like, you have to be good at that. That has to be your delivery of comedy. - I think so. - Of like, did you ever see Shane's roast on Lucia Gomez roast? - No. - Oh, are you serious? - No. - It is brutal. It is brutal 'cause everyone's doing jokes about each other and Shane's just staving facts. Tony Hinchcliffe has a Corvette with the license plate I roast. That's cool. Ari Shafir is 50 and edgy. 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Sportsbook bonus bets expire in seven days. $50 in predictions dollars issued weekly for three weeks expire in one year, or team won non-rethrobble rewards. Availability varies. Predictions offer void in New York, and June 28, terms at dkng.co/audio. Yeah, Shane's got that little bit of a, like, little bit of a bully sense to him. Like, I really think him and Patrice would have gotten along really well. I mean, I didn't know Patrice, so I couldn't. For real? No, I never met Patrice. Patrice was, I mean, Patrice was mean. Yeah, I mean, all the stories. It was mean. All the stories are that he's great, but mean. It's interesting because he was great. Yeah, he was great. And by the way, I, once you got through the meanness and you broke to the other side, it was, it was like being married to Leanne. Same thing. It's honestly being married to Leanne and being married and being friends with Patrice. We're very similar. Yeah, I can see that. Because you were like, oh, other people are going to get this too. And then it was really fun to watch other people get it. And you're like, oh, no, I was targeted for a very long time. Yeah. And I got it privately. I got one on one at breakfast, where it was just me and him just hurting my feelings. What, what, what, was he mean to you? What did he say to you? Yeah. Give us like the raw truth. What did Patrice say to you? And how much did it hurt? Would it fuck you up? My very, yeah, yeah, yeah, my very, very, my very, very, very first interaction with Patrice. Now I, everyone knew who he was and he was just, he was, I mean, he was really fun to watch on stage. And even when I remember I bombed one time and he went up and he bombed after me. And he was like, he was like, man, you bombed so hard, you made me bombs. And I was like, what? And he was like, you got it, man, if you're going to bomb like that, you got to do it in different rooms. He was like, it was, you couldn't even clean the room of your smell. And I was like, who the fuck are you? And then I was the first time you met him. The very first words I ever have with him. He's like, you need to say a prayer before you go on stage or something. Like, do you have like a cross when you're on your neck? And I was like, yeah, he goes, say a prayer or something. Like you, you got to do, that's, that's bad. It goes bad for all of us. By the way, I'm not good at comedy at the time. And I'm like, I then I did do really poorly. And so then, and then I watched him the next night, destroy Tom, Tom, Todd Berry in front of the Boston about how Todd Berry will never be successful. This is like a genuine thing he's saying. And there's no comedy to it. And it's just Todd, the problem with you is you'll never panel. I mean, you'll never panel. No one wants to hear you talk if it's not a joke. They don't want to hear your words. Me, I'm a panel motherfucker. I'm a panel. I, you'd rather have me panel and just going, and it's just the two of them. And Todd's talking back to him. Nope. Todd's just listening. And he's trying to bus balls and Patrice just shut him down. And then, and then Patrice comes up to me. I got a deal with Will Smith and Patrice comes up to me and he goes, how much? I'm working the door at the Boston Comedy Club. He goes, how much? I said, when he goes, I heard you got a deal. How much? I said, I'm in barricades like, don't tell anyone how much. Do not tell anyone how much money it is. Don't tell anyone. And he goes, how much? And I go, and he goes, I bet I can guess by the look on your eyes. He goes 100. No more. 200. No less. 120. And I went, and he goes, 120. Nice. And he walked away. So then we do this, we do this show in Edinburgh. It's me, him, Patrice, Rich Foss, and this guy, Lewis Schaefer. And we have to do an audition for the show. So we send a tape to Edinburgh to get past it by the Edinburgh French Festival. And I have a set list. I'm about to take up to go on stage at Caroline's so we can get a tape. And I have a set list in my hand. I've been doing comedy for roughly a year. And Patrice grabs my set list and rips it in half. And I was like, why would you do that? And he was like, are you going to bomb anyway? It was better not know what you're going to say in bomb. He was like, you're not that comic. Just go up and talk. You're funny or if you talk, then if you try to recite jokes. And I had an okay set. I didn't have a great set. I had an okay set. And then he made me stay and watch Paul Mooney because he was because Eddie Murphy was going to be there. And then from then we started hanging out. So we hang out. The girl was cerebral palsy. She comes over to fucking yeah. Oh, he was brutal to her. She extended her left hand to shake hands. And he's like, you're the queen bitch. What's wrong with your baby hand? Give me the other hand. Oh, shit. Oh, you're crippled. I mean, he was not. He was and this is three people in a hallway. It's not. There's no audience. That's just Patrice. He said, your girl looks good that night. She was, your girl looks good. His whisper is a major too bad. You know, there's a baby leg in those jeans, leather pants. Oh, so I mean, he was just brutal. So then we spend all of Scotland together. And we have our ups and downs, but more ups than downs in my opinion. We watch Bruce Lee movies. He explains Jay Z to me. He explains Mob deep to me. I listen to him. Fuck he walks. He walks in the room as this chick with cerebral palsy is at the foot of my bed naked. Like he is. So we have moments. We have a lot of moments from 29 days really together. I get a development deal from CBS. And I get a TV show on on FX. And I get another development deal over at Fox all at the same time. I get all these deals. And I have to fly home at like 25 days, four days left, maybe left. And I'm in a good mood. And Patrice is eating blood pudding with fried eggs and ketchup. And he's eating his fried eggs and his blood pudding with his fingers. And I said, dude, I'm glad we got to do this. And he goes, do what? I go hang out together. I go, it's cool. I like, I'm glad like, I got to become friends. And he goes, we're not friends? I was like, when he goes, I'm not your fucking friend. You think we're friends. Oh, you thought we were becoming friends? Shit. And then he goes, no, we're just two people to work together. It was a matter of fact, I pity you. I pity you 'cause you got all this stuff going on and you think that means something. And a bit of means nothing. 'Cause the second it goes away, you fall all the way back to where you are, right when I met you. And that's working the door at the Boston Comedy Club. He goes, you got no foundation. I mean, just did everything to hurt him. And then you have one point goes, oh, don't let me hurt your feelings. Don't let me hurt your feelings. Oh, are you getting your feelings hurt? 'Cause I said, we're not friends. And he goes, if I go to Tampa, can I stay at your parent's house? And I was like, no. He was like, yeah, 'cause we're not friends. He's like, if I come into LA, you're gonna pick me up at the airport. And I was like, no. He don't get it twisted. We're two people who worked together, but we're not friends. And he just, I mean, breaks me off. And I was like, cool. And I was like, back in New York. So then the fucking chick with several pals, he's like, hey, I need a place to crash in Scotland. I go, stay in my place. He's just like, what? I go, my friend's there. But he's called. Do you tell that cripple bitch she could stay here? I go, yeah, he goes, why? I go, fuck you. That's why. I'll go. (laughs) So they cut to, I have a TV show. I have a TV show and Patrice is shooting a showtime special. Which by the way, I hope you can find it online. I'm certain you can't. He completely sabotaged. I watched him completely sabot. You shot two shows at the Breya improv. Gary Goldman, a guy named Jim Brewer, who isn't a Jim Brewer, we know. Really, there's another one? I know, type in Jim Brewer, comedian. There's another Jim Brewer. No shit. I know, and I think he got booked 'cause I thought it was the other Jim Brewer. I swear to God, no, Jim Brewer, other Jim Brewer. Type in other Jim Brewer. What is it spelled? It's spelled identical. So that's not how to spell it, yeah. Try Brewer with a W maybe. Be like, are there two Jim Brewer comedians? No. No, his name's Jim Brewer. I worked with them. I worked with them at the Sacramento type in Jim Brewer, Sacramento, Sacramento laughs unlimited. You think that's gonna come up? I don't know. It was online at one point. And so anyway, so that we go out, I am on a TV show. I have a big, I have a big car. I have a lot of money. I'm living in Hollywood. I have a ton of friends. I've got, and I've got money, most important. So I decide to get a party bus to go out to Brea to watch Patrice 'cause I'm like, guys, and Gary Goldman is my friend. And I go, guys, we're gonna go out and watch Patrice and Gary Goldman. I go, they're like, who's Patrice? I go, he's a guy I know. Are you friends with him? I go, absolutely not, he's a guy I know. He's a comedian, he's very funny. I go, you will not like him. If you meet him, you're gonna hate him, but he's a guy I know, you're gonna, you'll enjoy him. So, we go watch Patrice, and he does two shows. He sabotages the first show entirely. There's a whole thing about putting his thumb up and girls' hats on Showtime. And you're like, okay, it's not the best part of Patrice. In my opinion, it's not 800-pound girl or whatever his special was. Elf in the room, my bet. That's, and so, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, I can see how he can do this thing. I can see again. So, so, so, we get done this show, and he gets done, and he comes off stage. Now mind you, I've told everyone, I'm not friends with him. And, and I'm, also, I actually am friends with Gary Goldman, who's doing a special that same night. Yeah. And Patrice comes off stage and he sees me. And he goes like this. So we all go back to the embassy suites that we stay in a prayer, that's how they had the post party. And I'm sitting at a table with all my friends or that I, you know, brought out to the thing. Patrice comes out and goes, can I talk to you? And I was like, yeah. There's what are you doing here? It's like, I came out to see you to stand up. And he goes, because we're friends. And I was like, and I was like, I'm gonna fall into this trap. And he goes, yeah, and he goes, we are friends. And I was like, yeah, yeah, you're my friend Patrice. And he was like, you came out to see me? And I was like, well, Gary's here also. But I didn't say that. I was like, yeah. And he was like, oh, and he sat next to me for the whole, because the producer got up to talk. He sat next to me and he was like, almost like proud. And then find this tweet. If you can find this, this is the moment I knew we were actually friends. He reached out to me about birth conquer. And he told me he loved it and he loved birth conquer. And I was, which I was like, okay, my head, I didn't it. Patrice O'Neill, a birth, Christher, a Twitter. See if you can find it. No, God, never mind. This is horrible. This is a horrible fucking dive, deep dive. Can someone, that's a grown up, get into Twitter and just go like, Patrice O'Neill, never mind. Never mind. Just stop it. But he just said, but I loved. I'm sitting in my room. I'm shooting birth conqueror season two. I'm in San Antonio. And I'm literally like, ugh, this is not what my calling is. I just fucking run roller coasters all day and Scott Sans comes in and he goes, dude, dude. I said, what, and he goes, did you hear what Patrice said about you? And I was like, no. And he was like, dude, I feel panic when he asked you. A hundred percent, a hundred percent. I'm like, fuck, oh no. And then he goes, dude, he tweeted it. And he was like, and he read it to me. He was like so proud of, so happy, or so proud of my friend, Bert Kreiser, or my buddy, Bert Kreiser, who's a real G in the game of comedy on his success with Bert the Conqueror. It's a hit show on travel channel or something. It was like so unlike Patrice. And I fucking reached out and I was like, dude, he was like, dude, this show's great. And then right thereafter, literally like six months later, I got a call and they're like, he had a stroke. - Wow. - And then this will bring a full circle. If Frosty calls me, Patrice had a stroke. It's not good. They're honest with us. He's in, you know, the situation was really, really bad. He was there, but he wasn't there. - Yeah. - And then, you know, he lasted for like a few months. - Yeah. - Was it a few months? - He lasted for like a while. - It was not good. You don't want to last, then that stroke. - Yeah. - You had to just die. And I got a call from Frosty and we were pulling him. He just dropped the girls off at school. We were pulling into the driveway and Frosty was Patrice passed. And I was like, okay. And he was like, the funeral is gonna be Friday or whatever. I know he'd want you there. And then I sat with him and he goes, are you going? And I looked at the ticket and the ticket was $900 to fly to New York to go to this funeral. And then I was a hotel. And we weren't doing a ton of money and I could hear Patrice in my head go, I wouldn't pay $900 to go to your funeral. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I was like, as his friend, I'm not going. Could I, cause I could hear Patrice go, oh, you wanted to meet Chris Rock. And so I didn't go to the funeral. But because I felt like it was, I felt like it was disingenuous. - Yeah. - And I was like, that's, you know, there's people's funerals. And this is an interesting thing about not going to a funeral. It's like, now people have funerals. Did you die of a funeral? - Yeah. - Did you, did you go, you went, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And then did, were you shocked at anyone that showed up? - Was I shocked? I don't think so. I mean, it was family and some of his, the friends that I knew of his that were there. Yeah, no, I mean, that wasn't shocked. - Was there anyone that we were like, what are you doing here? - Yeah. - No, no, I can't say that. No, I don't think so. But you're right, I haven't, I feel like I haven't gone to one in a long time. Maybe that was the last one I went to. I feel like there should be more funerals. - Nope, they stopped having them. - What do you mean? - People stopped having funerals. They do celebrations in life. - Oh, yeah. - My friend, our friend, Jeff Mercer, the best dude, me and him started dating our wives at the exact same time. His wife was our chiropractor and one of the aunt's closest friends. We all started dating at the same time, right, Pierce? We have kids at the exact same time. They have twins. We have George and Ila, different, you know. We're both broke at the exact same time. And whenever they got nice things, they'd call me like, "Yo, we have this." He was the principal at a really nice prep school in like Redondo or something or like El Segundo. Palace Verde's, so it's like, "Yo, this parents, "we're house sitting for this parent. "They said we get our friends over, "you should come over and all of a sudden, "you're in this like $20 million mansion." So they were like regular. Dude, just fucking died. - When, recently? - Recently and he's got a celebration of life. Now, it's like a year after almost, but it's a celebration of life because I guess people don't wanna, don't wanna deal with it right away. I don't know. I mean, it was like a year later? Dude, he's my age. He was my age. By the way, great tennis player. Great fucking dad didn't do drugs. drugs didn't drink, he, he, that he died unexpectedly, it was a skin cancer. Melanoma. Really? Yeah. And, and just fucking boom. And you're like, what the fuck? And so they have a Mercer Fest. I think it's what it's called in a couple of weeks, we're going to go to it, but it's a celebration of life. No one has funerals like they used to. Hulk Hogan out of funeral. Did you see, have you watched Hulk Hogan documentary? No, I haven't seen it. His daughter Brooke didn't go and people are like, how dare you? Well now, who is she going for? Them? Because it's her relationship with her dad. Did they not have a good relationship? Towards the end, I don't know, I don't have, I can't answer, obviously, I don't think she can go to the funeral. So I guess you have. Boy, you rather have. Oh, fucking funeral. You want a funeral? I'm, I'm not going to have one for a very long time now after this doctor's appointment, but fucking funeral. You don't want a celebration of life? No. No, I, you want the comedy store thing where everyone fills in the main room and they tell stories about you. The main room. Huh. Let's see what theaters are open. I'll take the Greek tub. You f***ing fucking mean. That's what they do. No, no, yeah, I don't want the main room. I don't want the comedy store. This is on record. You don't want the comedy store. You guys can do it and if you want to raise money and give it to the door guys, or whatever, I'd absolutely, the more talking about me, the better, I'm sure. But I want, I want a real funeral. I want suits. I want, I want famous people. That's important. Oh, 100%. Yeah. And even if you kind of knew me, like, Dax Shepard definitely show up. Okay. Dax Shepard show up. I want Rob Lowe. You want it somber and sad, though? Like a funeral. No, hold on. Let's go through the list of people I'm expecting to be there. Jack Osborne. I want Jack Osborne. Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe, John Stamos. Those are, these are masts. Okay. Rob Lowe's a fucking must. Yeah. Okay. I would love Sandler to, like, to stop I. What if he just sent a video? That's even better actually. Yeah. You know what? It's actually better. So I'll take videos from Sandler. Anyone really big. I'm Joe's coming. If Joe doesn't come, if Joe doesn't come, can you guys please attack him online for the rest of his life? That's all I'm saying. Okay. He better be at mine. He better be. I don't want to hear, just bad timing. I was in Italy with the girls. He's got the kind of money where he can drop everything and just come to my fucking funeral. I will drop everything to go to his funeral. There's only a short list of funerals I'll go to. I'm not going to everyone's. How many would you go to? Name them and I'll tell you if I go to their funeral. Pull up a list. Pull up a set. Pull up a fucking list of comments. It's a bastion. You're definitely going to smash it. You are? Are you kidding me? Why? 100%. Fucking Italian, a lot of cheese. Cheeky, a kissin'. You like that? Yeah. And then I'm so sorry for your loss. He's such a good son. He was a good son. You would do a good job. Tim Dillon's. Yes. 100%. It's going to be catered amazingly. It's going to be really good. It's going to be so fucking fun. Keep going. Kevin Hart. No. Nicky Glazer. Kevin Hart. No. Nicky Glazer. It's going to be in St. Louis. That's a connecting fight. Yes. I'm going to say yes 100%, okay, but she's not going to have a funeral. She's a little bit celebration of life, but I'm going so that Nicky comes to mind. Okay. Because I expect Nicky at mine. I 100, hey Siri, text Nicky Glazer. I 100% expect to see you at my funeral when they die. It's just a great opener for a conversation. There we go. All right. Ari? Yes. I have to go to Ari's. You will go. Yes. Were you wearing the hat and everything? Oh, fuck. Yeah. I'll wear the hat. I'll wear the hat. I think part of it would be kind of fun to see the other side of his family. Oh, right. Yeah. To see a bunch of fucking Brooklyn, like, you know, like hardcores. Hello. Yeah. Very nice to meet you. Yeah. Oh. It's guitar. It's guitar. Abra. Yeah. And then you're like, like, that would be actually Ari's funeral. And I don't think it's that far off. I would. I would hope. I would hope. Well, I mean, no, but I mean, she's blood non-stop. I know. Kind of a fucking. It's a message. Yeah. Like, I will definitely. I'll actually, actually, yeah, I will definitely go to Ari's and Leanne's going. Oof. Leanne's death. And I'll be like, yo, stop smiling. He gave Leanne the greatest compliment. Really? Yeah. You know, because Ari's, there's so hard for me to quantify my relationship with Ari. I do absolutely love the guy. And the internet wants to do whatever they want to do with our relationship, which is completely fine. But there is a part of Ari that is so, it's likely, and it's so brutally honest that when the compliment comes from him, you know, it's very meant, very heartfelt. And he saw Leanne at the, at the roast, Kevin Hart's roast, and he was like, wow, Leanne looks stunning. And I was like, he wouldn't say anything. He would just go. I, Leanne, good to see you. And he was like, and then he texted me the next day, goes, your wife looked absolutely beautiful. So nice. And I said, that really makes me feel good that people would say that, because I thought she looked incredible. But it's also, I fucking, I own the bag of oats. I'm going to fucking want to keep going, okay, now I'm going to go tip for tat of funerals. You wouldn't go to, because you want, I bet yours only five funerals are going, go to Joe's funeral. Yeah, of course. 100%. Yeah. And by the way, Mark Norman's funeral. Depends. Is it in New York? It's going to be in, it's going to be, well, it's, I'm definitely going, it's going to be in New Orleans. Oh, New Orleans. I go, I go to New Orleans. Fuck, yes. Yeah. Location is all of it. Because it's a good time. Bignets. Bignets, and you're like, and we can go out and party and be like, oh, Mark, we're going to love this. Yeah. Yeah. Krista Stefano's. Yes. Oh, yeah. And I would bring gay guys with me, like, yeah, like escorts, you know, strippers. Dude. Like pull your dick out. So like, these are people with different lives than just ours. So like, I have a relation with Krista Stefano. Yeah. It's so great. Actually, I have a great relation with Stefano, but I also know that he has wild crazy relationships with tons of different people that I don't know or I don't get to see a lot. Yeah. It does kind of like mobster Italian, fucking, Guido, fireman, fucking statin island, like Tampa Tony. And yeah, all those. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Let's find someone. His would be fucking. Okay. You get, uh, let's see someone like, all right, Nick Crolls. Well, I'm Nick Widen. I wouldn't be invited to next funeral. I don't think he invited you. You just go if you want to go. Really? I think so. I think it'd be strange for me to go to his funeral. Send flowers in a card though. Okay. I sent flowers in a card to Nick, um, but we've had them on the podcast. I mean, he's like, I consider Nick a friend. I'm very friendly with him. Really? I would love if Nick Croll came to my funeral. I don't think he'd come. I don't think he'd come either. But I know I take that back. I bet Nick would come. I bet Nick would come to my funeral. And by the way, now that he's heard this and people have sent this to him, I think Nick would come if it was like super convenient that day. I'll tell you what. I think if he had lunch that day, he'd be like, I can't. No, it's hang on. Hang on one second. So this is, so my funeral is going to be probably like Tuesday on a Tuesday, right? Just so a lot of people are home. Mm-hmm. It's going to be in Hollywood. It's going to be in LA, right? I'm probably going to be buried out here. I'm not getting cremated. I'm getting buried in like a mausoleum or something. You're not getting cremated? No, I'm not getting fucking cremated. What if they fucking figure something out? And then what? What? You got to have this in your last will and testament, right? I'm doing it right now. And then, and then here's the deal is like, let's be very real. I don't mind. Like, okay. Like, let's say who would it bother you that showed up at your funeral? We were like, hey, I feel like you're here for other reasons. Like I'm Nick Croll came to my funeral. Yeah. And I'm in heaven. That's very jet down. Yeah. I go, thank you, buddy. Yeah, of course. Yeah, thank you, man. That means a lot. How you know what? And then I'd be like, Nick, I'll be out here at your funeral. Or I won't be at it. I'll be haunting you. Yeah, yeah. Ooh, let's talk about, hold on. I want to keep going. I want to talk about Noga. I want to talk about, I want to talk about horror movies and, and, and, and Geeson Goosen. But keep going. And a ride. But keep going. We're in a good place. Okay. Funerals. I'm going to name people that came to your funeral. Yeah. Like, I'll be very real. Okay. What if Andrew Schultz came to your funeral? I might be surprised. You'd be surprised. But you're in heaven. Mm-hmm. Are you like Andrew? No. I mean, I, I think. You're not working. No. I would think that's a. Okay. What if a cautious thing came to your funeral? Well, I've never even met him. So that'd be strange. So you'd be like in heaven going like, are you there for the hang? I'd be like, are you there for the hang? Okay. But also like. Okay. How about a respect, dude? Respect? Yeah. Yeah. I would think. I would. I want Andrew Schultz at my funeral. Okay. I want him there. And I want him to know that. And I want him to come up to my wife privately. And I want him to apologize to her. And so. say I'm really sorry about the balloon clown thing. I know Bert held onto it his entire life. And I know that he still holds or is that meant about the balloon clown thing. - That's what you were saying. - And I know that he died with a little bit of a chip on his shoulder about the balloon clown thing. And I just want you to know, I'm Andrew Schultz and I'm sorry. - Wow. - And then? - Can I tell you something? - Please, Schultz might do that while you're alive. - No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't wanna hear a while we're alive. We're good. We're good now. But when I die, I want you to say that in my funeral. - Do you think about it a lot? - I think about that so much. - Really? - I was, I, someone had, I like Zachomeco a lot. I like Zachomeco a lot. I identify with Zachomeco for whatever reason. I, I've, for whatever reason, I see parts of me and him. - Yeah. - I don't even know who that is. - Overreel. - Who's that? - Pull up the white riders of the Kevin Hart roast. - That's Zachomeco. - Okay. - And, but he dresses like a clown a lot. Like an actual clown and it bothers me so much. - Freaks you out. - That I can't connect with him the way I wish I could. And because he dresses like a clown and I can't figure out why I can't get past it. It, like, he loves dressing like a clown. Like, it's one of his things. - Yeah. - And I, I mean, I can't even look at it. There was a clown that popped up on stage at Killtony the other night. - Two, I'll leave. - There was two. - I'll leave. I have such an issue with clowns. - Can I, can I ask you a question? Okay, I'm gonna pivot. We've addressed who we wanted our funeral, I think. - Sort of, yeah. - I think we should really do like a fucking draft. - Okay, what if the guys at Barstool showed up a big cat? - Man, be super surprised, man. - I know, I'd expect big cat at my funeral. - Really? - 100%. - I might actually get, I might put a caveat for like hotel rooms. - You think it's gonna happen soon? - No, I'm just, I just got back from the doctor. I'm so fucking healthy. - How long do you think you have? - I think I have, I think I'm gonna make it to 88. - Damn. - I know. I've been thinking about that a lot. - I think I'm gonna go into the 80s. - Yeah. - And I think I'm gonna be a wildly healthy. I think a lot of people are gonna say, so everyone always says to me now, "Wait, you're 53?" And I go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And I'm like, "No, are you serious?" I think 'cause I carry young energy. But I think I'm gonna be because of where I feel physically and how I am physically right now. I think I'm gonna, and I feel like I also started lifting weights later in life. So my joints aren't all fucked. Like Joe can't do bench 'cause he's shoulders. All those guys that lifted weights in high school, all their shoulders are fucked. - Yeah, that's true. - And so I've just started doing squats. So like I feel like I'm gonna be a spray 80 year old and people are gonna be like, "You're 80!" - Yeah. - And then I'll start aging at like 85. I'll go downhill real quick from there. And that's when I do a lot of sitting. And I'll be drinking and sitting. And people will be like-- - I definitely, I don't think I'll make it to 80. - Yeah, you will. - Yeah, 100% you will. - I think genetics wise, I'll tap out. I think best case scenario for me would be like 77. - My dad's 77. - That would be lights out for me. - What do you think is gonna be cancer? - Probably. - Probably. - There's a lot of it. - They're gonna have a cure for cancer by then. - In what? - In what? - 40 years, 40 years, 30 years. - 30 years. - 37 years? - 30, just 30. - Oh, 30? - Yeah. - Oh shit. - Yeah. - Oh yeah, I got about another 40 years. - Wow. - I'm impressed. - I got another whole lifetime to live. Okay, we're gonna hammer these topics. - Okay. - Okay. - Real quick, Noga Areas. Have you seen her? - Sorry. - Noga Areas. - No. - I think I'm saying her name right. - Who's that? - She just had her on the podcast. She's an Israeli singer and she just did. And by the way, I gotta put this out there. - Is this the woman who did it in a porosos hat? - Yes. - Yes. - I had her on the podcast and she just released her new single and she did it in a porosos hat. And I have to say this, if you're an artist and you do, here's my dad right here, hold on. Dad. Hey, are you okay? - Yeah, I don't have cancer. - Good. You're gonna keep the eye? - Well, I'm sorry. I have cataracts that need to have cataracts surgery. - For real, you know what I'm saying? - Oh, you're okay. I'm on a podcast with Tom. But I'm glad it's not cancer. - Tom Foo, Sigour. - Yeah. - How you doing, Mr. Kay? - Hey, Tommy, you never call. - I'm sorry. I need to get your number again. - Again. - Hey, Dad, do you wanna have a funeral or a celebration of life? - I wanna have both, what the fuck do you have to choose? - You don't. - No, you don't. I guess I picked funeral. - Boy, why do you keep it? I said, I always like to get it cheap. - No, I'm gonna get it. I want suits and a church and life. - And famous people. - And famous people. - Yeah. - Tom, come with. - Of course, definitely. - Well, he's speaking at it. - Yeah. - Oh, wow. - So we're gonna work on some things from the same, maybe. - Yeah, yeah. - You don't know me that well. - Wait, hold on. It's not your funeral, it's my funeral. We're talking about my funeral. What are you talking about? What are you trying to be your funeral? No, you were asking if Tom's coming to your funeral? Yeah, Tom. Are you going to my dad's? I didn't know to his dad's funeral. That's okay. Are you? What a dick you are. I didn't know he died. Yeah. Well, that's a good excuse. You know, read your bitch voice. He never talked to Tom. What's new? Hey, my father died. Oh, I didn't know. That's bullshit. All right. I'll call you later. I love you. No, you're doing bad or something. No, no, no, we're doing a podcast. I gotta call you back. Oh, yeah, Tommy. Bye. Oh, that was great. If you're an artist and you wear our merch, shout out to Dwayne Trucks, shout out to the Red Clay Strays. Yeah, shout out. Jelly, we give you love. And Noga, Ares has a new music video. It's kind of older now because this is happening. Yeah, yeah. And not having in real time. It's called, I love you. I think, look at this. Oh, wow. That's awesome. Yeah. And she's got a Porosos hat. That's cool. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. She is such an incredible. She really is an incredible artist. And they came into the podcast. She's fucking hysterical. And we gave her the hat and she liked the hat. And so that's awesome. Porosos is available in public and on the Noga Ares. I love you video. She's an incredible talent. Now amazing. I said that real quick. Yeah. My favorite band is Goose. I thought someone was fucking with me and Garry. You a fan of Geese. And I was like, well, yeah, I know there's more than one in the band. And they're like, no, Geese. So what? And they go to the band Geese. I go, I think you're thinking of Goose. No, there's a band Geese. There's a band Goose and a band Geese. And I fucking like them both. Are they going on tour together? No, they're not. They're totally different styles of music. Yeah. But you would not like Goose. You would love Geese. Really? Yes. Geese is fucking awesome. And Geese, if you ever want to come out, we'll give you some fucking merch. And they're not, they're not like merch guys. They're fucking awesome. Okay. I'll check them out, man. You would love. And I was like, I got to introduce Tom to Geese. I'm going to check out Geese. But just because I'm also going to check out Goose. Oh, yeah. Goose is my style. It's your style. Okay. But I like Geese also. And Mount Joy. If you listen to Mount Joy, mother fucker, dude, I've talked about a cool band. We're on tour and wherever we're doing. We're doing the this and they're doing the that. And I just tagged. I just tagged them in the thing. "Hey, you guys want to watch the Passion of Christ?" We got nothing after our show. We're going to sit in the tour bus and watch Passion of Christ. We're going to knock on our tour bus at 12 at night. And they're like, "Hey, you guys start the movie yet?" The whole band showed up. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Mount Joy is fucking awesome. I feel like music. I feel like music is exploding because everyone with an idea decided to get into comedy. And I'm going to say this. There's too many comedians. Everyone wants to be a comedian. I understand that. I wanted to be a comedian too. But and I think if I had your entry level that you guys have now, where you just. There's a lot of stages and you post it online and you throw shit on the wall and see if it sticks. It's a totally different thing. It's a totally different game. How about this? Some of you guys join a band. You know what? All the guys you just met at the open mic, you guys pick up instruments and start a band. Or also dope. How about you can also just be a fan of comedy? We're going to run out the fucking so many now. And then I don't know why I got into that. I'm sorry. But it's like, okay, Tom, I'm going to get you out of here. I swear to God. Baker Curry. Baker Curry. Do you know who he is? Nope. Perfect. Perfect. Do you think it would be easier for you? Tom says, I'm God damn it. Well, you guys are so fucking good and bad at this. Baker Curry. Curry Baker. That's what I think I saw. It's Curry Baker. Do I say Baker Curry? Okay. It's Curry Barker. Fucking shit. To you from the top. Curry Barker. No. He has the hit movie called obsession. Yes. Made it for $750,000. It hit 16 million opening weekend. I have seen the trailer. I want to see this so badly. Yes. Yes. Now. - A curry bake or a curry barker? - Curry barker. Also does comedy, okay, he has a comedy sketch group, quite honestly is where I've discovered him, pretty fucking funny. What do you think is easier? You get one million of your dollars to make a comedy movie or a horror movie. What do you think's easier? Easier? Don't defend it, don't explain it and just take a stance. One million dollars, what's easier to make a hit, a horror movie or a comedy movie. Well, for a multitude of reasons, I would say horror. It's interesting you say that because I have to say horror because Baker, this young man is very talented as a comedic actor. Yeah, let me just explain something. I don't think it's easy to make a hit horror movie. I'm taking the question just straight up and down and I think that horror has a, first of all, for the last decade plus has been a genre that people are more drawn towards. People like exploring horror has a huge fan base to say that it's easy. I don't mean it's easy to make a hit, right? There's only a few standouts every now and then. I haven't seen this movie. I've seen, like I said, the trailer. I'm excited to see it. It looks the trailer. It looks awesome. It's so good. I don't think it's easy. I'm saying comparatively, if you go, which do you have the higher probability of doing well with? I think it's horror. This kid does inarguably great comedy online. Okay. Yeah, I found it very interesting that because I started thinking, what am I more often? Do I giggle more often or do I get scared more often? And I was like, the second you tap into getting scared, all of a sudden you can find scary angles of life. His next movie, have you seen what his next movie is? No. Dude, I already, I want to read the script. It looks so good. Here's something that is consistent with horror movies. It doesn't happen with comedies. And every producer will tell you this. You can have a successful horror film without a name attached. Yeah. And that is a, it's almost uniquely done for horror. You rarely see other genres break through to being like hits without the talent being a reason why. In horror, the story and the storytelling can get audiences in and they don't have to know any of the faces or names of the people. But you need good talent. But it's not like, you know, it's not Ryan Gosling like in it, wherever you go, oh, that's who broke the movie. Would you rather, would you rather say, say, say, I, say I just sold a horror movie. Mm-hmm. Yesterday, okay. Would you rather, and say, I also sold a comedy movie? Would you rather star in my comedy movie or my horror movie? That's interesting. As an actor, because there's a lot, I think, and it was fascinating to me if you just said it like that. Yeah. I didn't get to read them. Yeah. I would probably take the horror. Yeah. But I would obviously in real life be like, let me read and digest these. I pissed and sold a horror movie quicker than I've ever sold a comedy. Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, what man? If horror always does well. Yeah. I mean, that's what I was saying. And they're like, yeah, horror always does well. And I was like, that's fucking fascinating. I've been working in comedy. But it's crazy to me. This kid is so talented. Can you pull up his image again? He took it away. You got, I wish you could see some of his comedy stuff. Yeah. He's so talented. By the way, his dad's really talented too. His dad's like a playwright. I didn't a little bit of a deep dive on this kid. But can I tell you the fucking, his next movie, his next movie, is going to be better than this movie. His next movie, and I'm pitching it and I apologize to this man. Yes. Curry. If I miss pitching it, his next movie, what's the name of it? It's called Ghosts, anything but ghosts. Okay. And it's about a group of ghost hunters who are fake and they do ghost adventurers. And then they encounter a real ghost. That's cool. I mean, it really is ghostbusters, but it's a horror movie about ghosts. It's like the ghost adventurers that were on travel channel. And then all of a sudden they find a, not saying that they were shills, but like they find a, they're like TV guys and then they find a real ghost that fucks with them. Uh-huh. That sounds fucking awesome. Yeah, that's great. That's awesome. Can you read that so it's, so I'm not too fake paranormal investigators must face actual ghosts while dealing with the deception of their own fraudulent business. It's fucking great. Yeah, that's awesome. We'll save the conversation about A-Rod to another podcast. I'm dying to hear. I would, I would like you to watch this documentary on A-Rod, so we can talk about it. Is it on? It's on H-O-Max and it is such a fascinating documentary. He's a fascinating figure. He is mind blowing. His group is mind blowing, but I'll save it so we can watch it together and we should, we should have everyone watch the A-Rod doc and so that everyone, and we should take calling questions about the A-Rod doc. I'm down. All right, man. All right. I love you. I love you too. [Music]