Patriarchy in Your Pocket

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One, two, three. - Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots, black-triots, brown-triots, and now our new hey-triots. The hey-triots that battle MAGA, we love you, and all of the triple-Trumpers, and even the people who liked him at some point, can do wet pumps. For God's sake! Get off! - All right, pumps, what have you had it with? - Okay, what I've had it with is when you are online shopping, and you have to look at the pictures, and then you look at the description, and the color is not like navy, black, white, ivory. It is, and I wrote these down, Morel and Rhinan. What the fuck? I've had it. We've taken over this, I mean, here's what I picture. A big conference room with all these executives sitting around saying, "We can't just call it black." I mean, I don't know what those colors are, so I'm just gonna say black. We can't just say it's black because that's too plain. We need to be dicey and edgy. So we're gonna call it Morel. I mean, why are you making this harder than it has to be? When I have to Google what this color is, I don't wanna buy the product. This came to a cataclysmic event that I ordered a pair of tennis shoes. And I wanted navy blue. And I go to the website and I'm looking at the shoes. And I am like pulling up the pictures. I'm looking at the color. I'm like, I don't know if this is dark purple or navy blue. Like I have no idea based on the color description and on the picture, I'm enlarging it. And I'm just like, I don't know, it's a crap shoot. So I get the shoes, pleasantly surprised, they were in fact the navy shoes, but that's based on me like five minutes really examining the pictures, getting these readers on and going full throttle. It shouldn't be that hard. It just should not be that hard. Just call the color what it is. Even if you call it blue indigo, I'm okay. But these other words- - What was it called? - I can't remember. I wrote down Morel and Rhinan, but I don't, I mean, just like, why are you making it so hard? Just call it navy blue. This is navy blue. - I've never heard Morel and Rhinan and I've been in interior design for, years and years, so I know some pretty niche- - Niche colors. - Well, I do. - And I don't, but I mean, when I am just like, I have no idea what that color is. - That's bullshit. - If you're making it too hard. - Yeah, that's crazy. You know what it is? It's the same people that come up with these stupid logos about, you know, like what was it that the bank had? You know, we're not writers, but we're writing your financial story or something. You know, and it's just like, shut up. No, you're not. You want to go to the bank, make a deposit, make a withdrawal and move on down the road. - Right. - You know, this is where you have people sitting around the table, scrambling jets, parking things, sending emails. - That's exactly what I thought. - Yeah, that's exactly what that is. Yeah, that's crazy that you wouldn't know. 'Cause Morel, what is that? Kylie, will you Google that? - Isn't that like a mushroom? - Oh, look at the, look at the, look at the mushroom. Look at the millennial. She knows exactly what it is. Maybe I'm too old to buy shoes. - Yes, you could call this light brown if you wanted to. That's Morel. - Yeah, I think it's better. Like if that were to be like army taupe, 'cause there is a hint of green to it, right? To that, to that right there. So you could throw in, if you want it to be edgy, you can say, we'll call it army taupe because it's not exactly army green. It's more taupe than it is green. But the army thing, that makes us sound hip and edgy. So we'll do army taupe. But I agree with you, that's crazy. That is crazy. Thank God you got the right color shoes. Are they cute? - I know, I was like, I'm gonna have to send it back, which I hate returning and blah, blah, blah. But thank goodness, it all's well that ends well. But it was not because I was helped by the website. - Are they cute, your shoes? - Yeah, I mean, they're the same shoes I always wear. To walk. - Oh, okay, okay. - To the gym. - Gotcha. Nothing new for me. - It wasn't even that exciting. - No. - It was just a plain old buy. - Gotcha, all right. So in lieu of a grievance, I have a great story to share with everybody. So I had my book tour and Josh came to Boston and New York, both of those shows. And pictures were taken and fun was had. And after the New York show the next day, Josh and I went shopping. Josh always has, he has very particular styles. And we go to this one store and he puts on these slacks. And he was like, I think I need to like, I either have suits or jeans. And I need that middle of the road. And he doesn't have the best luck finding slacks. So he goes, I'm gonna try these on. So I was like, okay, I'll try them on. He puts them on and they fit perfectly. I mean, they look great on him. And then he tries on like a cashmere turtleneck with it and he puts it on and he looks at me and I go, you look like a girl. - Yeah. - You look like a grownup. You look like a full blown adult. Like you have to get those pants. And so he goes out and talks to the guy that helped him. And Josh, the addict in him, he can't just buy one pair of pants. He's like, I wanna buy two pair of these pants. And the guy's kind of like, well, the only other pair we have is in LA. And Josh was like, well, I want those too. And so the guy's like, okay, I'll have to have them shipped here. And he's like, do that. And all of that's normal to me because as Josh will say, I don't have anything left. I have nothing left. So let me, if I like something, I wanna buy two of them, let me have it. And I agree, it's not my business. So as we're in the dressing room, before he takes off the new outfit that he fell in love with, it did look great on him. The guy that works there said, why don't you take a picture of him? So I took a picture of Josh in the outfit. - Oh, he looks adorable. - Right? That's the photo. Those are his slacks that were in the dressing room there. That's his turtleneck. And he loved it. He loved the outfit. So for the, I send him those pictures. I text him, I took two in a row. And I text him those two pictures. And for the remainder of the day, he keeps saying, hey, send me those pictures that you have from your show in New York. And I was like, the quality's bad. One thing you have to know about Josh is, aside from being a lawyer, he's also a very talented photographer. And he's very snotty about, even if it's an iPhone picture, or you can take a good iPhone picture or a bad iPhone picture. And he's very snotty about bad photographs going on his grid. And he kept saying, send me this picture, send me that picture, send me this, send me that. And I'm like, Josh, he was like on me. And I was like, okay, just give me a second. And so I pulled him up, I go, all of these pictures suck. So just FYI, if you're gonna post them, you might rethink that because they're not good quality. The lighting's terrible, the angle's terrible. So he does a big post about the book tour. And it's a carousel and I get to the third position and I immediately know why he needed those photos. Because Kylie, he posted, pop this up, that was in there. Right. The post about my book tour. Right. Was really, he wanted to post this photo of himself up. And so I am whistleblowing right now. I told Josh in advance, I'm gonna talk about this on my podcast because we run out of shit to talk about. And he does look great and the pants fit him great. And he got the other pair and he looks like a total grownup. I mean, it's just, but the whole, and Pumps knows this better than anybody. When Josh has something in his mind, it is, I need this, send it to me, send it to me, send it to me, send it to me. So I send him everything. And so when I flipped through the carousel and I saw that the post wasn't in fact about my, my book tour, it was more about his new outfit. Yeah. You were the Trojan horse so that you could post this picture without just being like, hey, look at me in my new outfit. I mean, there's no doubt about that. And that's one of the reasons that I love Josh so much is he gets something in his head and he just rides your ass and you can't stop it. And it just keeps going and going and going. And then when you, you say, what the fuck, stop doing that. He busts out laughing. I mean, that is one of his best qualities that he can just say, oh my God, you're right. But he continues to do it until he gets, what he wants. And that, that is the best thing because when I'm flipping through the carousel, I go, Oh, now I get it. I know the urgency. And he immediately busts out laughing. I mean, he immediately knew like that I living with him for 25 years that I would immediately know what the whole plot was, but I thought that was hilarious. And I wanted to whistle blow. And so you guys give Josh shit, but he does look great. So give him a tiny bit of shit and also compliment him because he does look great. And, and, you know, I kind of appreciate, I mean, I kind of, I don't know. I could go either way. Should he, should he have just owned it and post a picture of himself? I just bought this new outfit and I fucking love it. And it's just a single photo on your Instagram or is it better to be kind of a coy about it? Okay. Here's my thing on that. I have, I have kind of strict terms on this. All right. Let's hear them. Okay. I think when somebody thinks they have a great shot of themselves and it's just of them, I think if you put, I love this picture of me, I look so good in it. I love this outfit and post it by your, you know, I'm all in. But what I hate is if he just posted that picture of himself and made it about something else, like he at least layered it with photos of your book tour. But if he was, if he just posted that picture of himself because he thinks he looks great and then says something like Jennifer's book tour show was amazing. Then I would have a problem with it. But if he just owned it and said, I look fucking great in this outfit. What do you think? I'd be all in on it. It's just, I want to know what the real deal is. I don't have to sort through it. Abercrombie is, and always has been the destination for holiday dressing. Think soft sweaters for those cozy nights in and classic matching sets for unforgettable nights out with friends. Complete the look with our wool blend A&F carry trench and you're all set. All about the moments you turn into traditions. Have a very Abercrombie holiday shop in the app online and in stores. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. And I have some new stories I would like to share with the class. Um, Allie Beth Stuckey is a obnoxious evangelical Christian. I mean, obnoxious. This woman, she wrote, she wrote a book called Toxic Empathy. And yet she's the follower of Jesus Christ. I mean, this woman is a hypocrite extraordinaire and she has another brilliant idea. Let's pop this up. I'm launching a period and pregnancy tracking app for Christian women. Introducing Anna Kate. Anna Kate is a Christian pro-life period and pregnancy tracking app that's unapologetically for women and for life. We've been building this app for almost two years and we can't wait for it to launch into the world so soon. From periods to postpartum, Anna Kate offers scientifically grounded, biblically rooted insight into your body and your pregnancy. Join the wait list to be the first to download. And now she has. This is a promotional video that she released. Let's, uh, trigger warning. Let's play that. In girlhood, we were fed messages about our bodies. Too big, too small, too much, not quite enough. We heard a lot about how our bodies look. Very little about what our bodies are for. Then womanhood arrived. Enter embarrassment. We learned what a woman should be from sources that only offered us confusion. And don't forget the birth control pill. For all kinds of symptoms, most of our doctors prescribed it. Later, college came, our career started, and motherhood was presented by much of the world as an inconvenience rather than a gift. For many of us, we had to work hard to buck these toxic messages and instead choose a path of commitment and sacrifice. But today, things have only gotten more confusing. We've been used. In many spaces, woman has become a dirty word, replaced with people, as in pregnant people and people with periods. Promiscuity is seen as a rite of passage, a form of liberation. Marriage is characterized as, at best, an optional partnership based on feelings and, at worst, a form of oppression. A baby is viewed as a burden to avoid or a right any adult is entitled to. Even science has become politicized, with many experts refusing to acknowledge the uniqueness of the female body. It shouldn't be this way. This is where life is created in this room. It doesn't have to be this way. Introducing Anna Kate, a cycle and pregnancy tracking app to track what's true. Most tracking apps on the market today are either neutral or hostile to the truth. Anna Kate has partnered with like-minded medical professionals to bring you biologically grounded, biblically rooted insights into your period, fertility, and or pregnancy. This app is about connection to your creator, to your body, and to others who share your values. And our interactive prayer board connects a community of women walking the same path as you. With Anna Kate, you'll be equipped with truth, grounded, and more. Anna Kate is a woman who is a part of a community of women who is grounded in wisdom and encouraged by community. No matter what season you're in, Anna Kate is here to give you insight into your body by tracking what's true. Okay. Everything that she said at the first part of that video is all completely made up. You're right. There are already period trackers. All of that exists, has existed forever. The thing that these women don't understand and that they don't support is I, Jennifer Welch, have my agency and my autonomy as what I want to do for myself. And it's completely different than what she wants to do for herself. And the way I want to raise my kids to be tolerant, accepting, radically kind, radically empathetic is completely opposite of the way Allie Beth Stuckey wants to raise her kids, which is to be little bigoted assholes. And she wants to raise her daughters while Allie Beth Stuckey is launching apps and writing books and has a full-time job. And Allie Beth Stuckey is Allie Beth Stuckey because of progressive feminists. Progressive feminists paved the way for her to be where she is. I don't buy the bullshit in the Bible and I don't have to. I think it is a jet stream of bullshit. And I get to think that. And you get to think I'm going to hell for that. I don't give a shit, but this is so insane and how MAGA, you have Katie Miller, you have this Allie Beth Stuckey, you have all of these people putting all of this focus on women. Why? Because women are doing better than they ever have. And that is a net positive for society. The world that they want to live in, live in it, live in it. Because all I see from Allie Beth Stuckey is a complete fucking hypocrite who, oh, I want to be a biblical person, but I want to, I want to do the old Testament shit. So I'm going to write a book called Toxic Empathy so that we can just kind of disregard the Jesus part of the whole thing. And I want to remind Allie Beth Stuckey, you support a rapist, you support a man who is either in the pedophile files, participating in the pedophile files, or is completely fine with it. So your whole video about being so pro children and women are getting sold all of this bullshit. Is so dangerous. It is so incredibly dangerous because here's the problem with a lot of these evangelical Christian kids, the boys. They've been told their whole life that sex is dirty, don't masturbate, that's dirty. And this creates psychologically in their brain that there's something wrong with women. And she is a partner in the punitive nature that this movement wants to be punitive towards women when they take birth control pills or when they take plan B. She thinks it's her fucking business. She thinks she has some direct conversation with her imaginary sky God. And she wants to project her iron age, bullshit, cruel thinking onto everybody else. It's dangerous. And the sad thing is, is it is catching on because I've seen in Oklahoma, people are getting more religious in these days. Not less. They're getting more religious. They're getting more homophobic. They're getting more misogynistic. And the women that participate in this kind of misogyny is just so incredibly disappointing. And the women who raise their sons to be this misogynistic, it is, and I want for once, I want men to help women in this fight because this is, this is insane. She has this video because of people like Gloria Steinem and RBG others and person who she fucking hates, Hillary Clinton, who worked so hard for Allie Beth Stuckey to be able to do the shit that she's doing. And she gets up every day and she lies. She lies, lies, lies. She's a pathological liar. The evangelical movement is toxic. Cut it up, everybody, Fox, all of the little, cut it up, cut it up, post it. These people are stupid. These people are mean. Their product is shit. It's total shit. The earth is not 6,000 years old. And women can breed when and if they want to, inside or outside of marriage. And if you don't like it, tough titties. You go live in your miserable marriage and leave all of us alone. I mean, I think everything you just said is top-notch, well said. I think you're 100% right. And I think everything you just said is top-notch, well said. And having been raised in this evangelical Christianity, there is this thing that the Bible, a woman has to serve her husband. And then I see that play out into women being trapped in marriages that are emotionally abusive, financially abusive, physically abusive. And they think, I can't get a divorce and I can't stand up for myself because it's a sin. And that is dangerous. And then I, you know, so all of this, and I'm sure this is just a propaganda website, like, don't have sex before marriage, abstain from sex, blah, blah, blah, which we know how well that works. We've seen it over the course of time. And here's the thing. When I first saw that, when I just first saw that, I'm launching this two-year app. I've been working on this app for two years. I'm like, what the fuck? Why is somebody who's a Christian, her period any different than the 8,000 other apps that track periods that are so specific? And I'm like, I remember it was after I was pregnant, but like, you got a picture like today, it's a pea and it's an almond, you know, so this is not revolutionary. And then my big, big question about this is scientifically based and biblically. I don't, I think that's an oxymoron. Those cannot live together in my mind. When you're talking about medical stuff, it's either science or it's bullshit in my opinion. So this whole thing is ridiculous. And I agree with you people. I mean, there's a wait list. Hopefully that's a lie, but it's probably not. And I'm sure there are mothers in Oklahoma that are downloading this app for their daughters because I, the propaganda at the time when I was going through puberty was, uh, James Dobson. I don't know if anybody remembers that. I'm really focused on family, focus on family and dare to be different. It was a picture of like apples and then one orange. I'm really focused on and all of it was just bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. And so I've been a victim of this naivete, lack of understanding, sexual shame, and, and just women in positions because of this patriarchal misogynistic Bible that tells them they can't get out. They can't stand on their own two feet. They're only, the only time they're worth anything is when they have babies. And that is the biggest con lie. And here, and women are telling their girls, get this. It's just fucking gross. She's gross. Agree with everything you said. Well said. All right. A few times a week when I get home from work, I like to watch television, like a binge watch situation, just kind of unplug from the news, unplug from the workday. But I also like to indulge in self-care and I have this laser face mask pro. It is so easy to use. It's really quite comfortable. I look quite ridiculous. My dogs look at me like I'm crazy, but my God, my skin is looking fantastic. And here's the situation, listener. The results are cumulative. So your skin can continue to improve with consistent use over time. The laser face mask pro is designed for all skin types with a lightweight ergonomic fit for comfortable full face coverage. Since collagen production naturally declines over time, which has been my problem, consistent light therapy can be a simple way to support healthier looking skin. And the great thing I love about this, two birds, one stone. I can wear my mask, relax and binge watch mindless television. So listener, are you ready to upgrade your skincare routine? iRestore is offering early Black Friday sales with huge discounts on the new laser face mask pro. Just head to iRestore.com and use code HATIT. That's HATIT at iRestore.com. Please support our show and tell them that we sent you experience pro grade skin therapy from the comfort of home with the laser face mask pro. I could go on about this shit forever. Let's listen to, let's listen to our videos. Kylie. Okay. First we've got Stephanie. Hi, iHipsters. Stephanie, Leo, Gen X, just turned 60. We are going to do a tutorial right now. I am for you of how to call Mike Johnson and read him for filth. It's really fun. I do this pretty much every day. And, um, so all we do, we're going to, um, dial his number, which is 2 0 2 2 2 5 7 7 7. You can call this number noon, night, day. It doesn't matter. No one ever fucking answers because they don't give a shit about you. So that's what you have to remember. Um, Honorable M. Johnson. Okay. Here we go. Mike Johnson. It's your friend, Stephanie. How are you? Hey, um, I just wanted to give you a call. I know, um, you probably just hearing my voice. So I wanted to call you and let you know that I've heard that you're going to be out of a job soon, which is great news for all of us, but probably not so much for you. So I think that I heard you're starting a lawnmower business or something like that. So I just hope that you, put in some hard hours mowing and blowing. Um, you're probably going to be great at the blowing part. I don't think you've ever done a day of hard labor in your life. Uh, so I hope you get some practice doing that. Um, I just want to, let's discuss your legacy. What, what will that be? Uh, probably just shameful, disgraceful, pandering, turning your power over to an orange wasteland of filth. And I don't think Jesus, would really approve of that. Do you? So go crash grinder on your own, I've had it. Go fuck yourself. Oh my God. I love her masterclass. 202-255-2777. Stephanie, that is a masterclass. That is a masterclass in patriotism. Yeah. Well, that, that, that is our audience. We have smart, clever, fantastic, patriotic Americans. As this atheist would say, doing the Lord's work, doing the Lord's work. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay. We've got a boomer submission from San Francisco. Hi, I've had it. My name's Christopher coming to you from San Francisco, as you could see in the background. I'm from San Francisco. I'm a gay triad, a proud gay triad. I know saying that I live in San Francisco, it's kind of redundant, but there you go. I was also in New York last week, though. So Jen, I was at Strand for your book signing. I got to see you. I was at a conference called Lesbians Who Tech. Paris Fisher was with us, 5,000 lesbians, people of color, queer, and gender non-conforming. We do it every year. This is my 13th year, as well as Kara's. I've been on the board for the past few years. So we're always in New York next year. We're gonna be in June. Come see us. At your book signing, though, you didn't do it last year. You did it last year. You didn't do a meet and greet, but I do think you saw me on the way to your green room after I was headed to the bathroom, and I was wearing this gray pinstripe suit, and our eyes locked, Jen, and I felt like you fell in love with me right then and there. So I fell in love with you. I will also tell you, Kylie, you are gorgeous, and other people should know who haven't seen you. Here we go. You're really tall. I was very shocked. It was beautiful to see Anna there, as well, and Josh, and Jen, I think your son was possibly in the audience. It looked like he and his girlfriend might have been there. So it's great to be here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Love every minute of it. Now on to the real deal. Pumps. Also, survivor of the crabs. Late notice. Late at the time. Yay. Also, in the early 2000s, thought I had gonorrhea. Got a call from the medical people, somebody who I had sex with, and they said, you might have gonorrhea. I went in, got tested negative, but they still did that shot of penicillin in your ass just to be on the safe side. Right. So, and then there's the sock debacle. I'm a Gen X-er, so I'm not going to as a Gen X-er. Jen, you and I are the same age. I do like socks. I also like Bombas socks. Bombas, you can buy a pair, and they give the pair away for free. And if you're a fan of I've Had It, you can go to bombas.com slash I've Had It for 20% off your first purchase of Bombas. And I like the little small socks too. I don't have words to express how much I love him and love the presentation. I just, if you are not an ally of the Gaytriots, fuck you. I will never understand you. never want anything to do with you. I have always hung out with the LGBTQ plus community because as an atheist, my whole life, I was bullied by the same sanctimonious Christians that bullied them. And so we found instant chemistry and I just, he is, he is a, uh, that is the gold standard of a Gatriot right there. That presentation, uh, everything, all, everything, no notes, perfection. Yeah. I mean, these are two, like two of my favorite videos back to back. So smart. So funny. I do want to say this real quick. I forgot to mention this earlier. Okay. Remember how I told you the Mormons were texting me and I was like getting all the, and I, and they kept texting me and I kept saying, I'm not interested. And they kept saying, we'll have a nice day. I'm on a Mormon list. Okay. So then I get the norm Mormons at the door. I see them when I turn around the corner, my dogs are barking. They can see me. I'm like, I'm not interested. I'm not interested. They can see me through my door. And I just turn around and go back. I'm just like, I'm out this last weekend. My phone rings and you know how it says, maybe who's calling. It said, or what does it say? It was elder somebody. Of course I never take those calls, but I am immediately hello. And I told my girlfriend, so I'm like, Oh my God, the Mormons are calling me. They're like, how do you know? I was like, it says, elder. They call each other elder. I've seen the book of Mormon. I, okay. So I answer it. He's like, is this, is Angie there? Normally I would lie and say, no, I'm like, I sure am. I'm here. And he was like, well, you know, this is elder something, something. And I go by elder. Does that mean Mormon? Of course, knowing it did again, book of Mormon. And he was like, yes. I mean, I just want to connect you. I said, here's the deal. I'm not into this. I'm going to pass on this. I appreciate you reaching out, but please don't reach out again. Nice as pie. Okay. Rolling around. That was like Saturday, Monday. I get another call that says possibly elder. And I don't remember that. I can't keep wanting to say it was elder price, but that's not, I mean, that was, that's just my brain from the book of Mormon for the book of Mormon. And so I was just like, I answer again. Hello. I said, can I said, I don't know if you have a list or something, but you're like, the second Mormon that's called me in 48 hours, they've come to my door. They've been texting me and it's been like six or eight weeks now from the text. But I'm like, if there is a list of people that you're reaching out to, can you please take me off that list? I am simply not interested. Don't you think that's weird? No. But I mean, the same person in 48 hours after they said, don't call. No, they're relentless. They are relentless. Do you have any idea? Like with us or you're going to die? Like you're going to, you're going to go to hell. Yeah. So I'd sneak off against my mother's wishes and I would rebel and go to the church. And then you fill out these forms. Are there any visitors? Cause they're, you know, this mining of data that the tech oligarchs are doing and corporations are doing, the church has been doing this shit forever. And then these fuckers would show up at my house when I lied to my mom. Cause she's like, you know, atheists should not want me going to church. She'd not want me being around those Christians, which now I can understand why right now. And, um, uh, then I would fill out the form because I was, you know, 12 or 13 or something. Then they would fucking show up at my house to follow up. And then they went. And so then I would have to go to the door. So no, none of that surprises me at all, but I wish that the Mormons would call me because I wouldn't just say, I'm not interested. I'm at this stage in this fascist takeover right now where I would go make your case. Let's hear it. And I'd hear them out. And then I would just want to go toe to toe with them point to just see how far we could go. I would just take it as far as I could. So the next time they call, if you do me a favor and say, I want to add a friend to this call, right? I'm not interested, but I have a friend that's very, very interested. I went, but one of my favorite songs is from the book of Mormon and it's the man up like Jesus. Yes. It's one of my favorite plays. It's so good. It's hilarious. I love blasphemy though. Like blasphemy is hilarious to me and all of the book of Mormon is so blasphemous. And like, you know, on Easter, my atheist friends and I always text each other happy zombie Jesus day. It's like, I do. I love I blasphemy is hilarious to me just because people like act like it's, Oh my God, it's really not that big of a fucking deal, but they act like it's this huge deal. So I, it just cracks me up. Okay. Up next. We've got Jake. Hi, Jen. Hi, pumps. Me mommy curtains. Kylie. That gets me on. I actually am. Okay. Jen Z 99. I actually worked as what a lot of people don't know exists is the sex police for, um, the County health department that I worked in. So I am STI free and my job for a long time was to identify people who had STIs and make sure all their partners were notified and treated. As well, which sometimes meant me knocking on doors and letting people know, Hey, you got syphilis. I mean, get you treated. Yeah. Oh, that's incredible. Yeah. I was here. I work in sexual health for a long time. Um, I think my habit is people using AI slop, especially in the workplace, a lot of newsletters or posters of just AI generated bullshit to get the workplace culture up. When in the end of the day, I am buying stickers so I can put the shit is AI. I'm over it. So yeah. Good to see you pair socially. Right. Parasite. I'm so glad that we're doing the videos because there's this whole narrative online that like, um, that, Oh, people on the far left that, that talk out against this, speak out against, um, uh, corporate Democrats. Like we've been critical of Cory Booker. We've been critical of Chuck Schumer. They're just so beholden to their radical left crazy. You know, they picture this, you know, all of these insane, you know, like, uh, common communists. We have gorgeous everyday listeners, everyday American that is fed up with the shit. And they want to try to put us in that. We're just such this radical movement. And as you can see here, these are people that are intelligent. Clever, great presentation, great, painfully attractive, et cetera, et cetera. With all of the people we've seen so far. So thank, I love that the video, uh, stuff going down. Okay. I have a quick story about the sex police. Okay. I remember it was during my freshman year of law school. I had been to Europe and had sex with the Frenchman that didn't speak English. What was his name? Roy. Roy. Okay. All he did, the only English he spoke was air supply, lost in love. And that was enough for, for this gal. Okay. So I remember after that, I had to go to the doctor for something. I don't know. And they took blood. So like, of course, because I'm uneducated at the time, I didn't wear a condom. Sorry. Um, yeah, because you didn't get sex education. Right. That's what I'm saying. Okay. Yeah. And so I am like, were you on the pill or could you pull out? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was on the pill. Did your mother know you were on the pill? Probably not. Probably not. Um, but so yeah, I'm a hundred percent. No, she didn't. Not a, no. Okay. So, um, the post like three weeks after I get back or, or give blood, but it was in short order from the deal. The mailman comes to my door with a letter and I was like, Oh my God, I have AIDS. He's going to tell me that the non-English speaking Frenchman gave me AIDS. And I was, it was like he delivered the mail to the wrong thing or whatever, but to say the sex, the sex police, I lived in fear of that, the sex police. So I completely understand that would be the hardest thing ever. Cause then I was tracking who would I have to call until I had a, that, that shot fear in me. So when he said that, it reminded me, I have, I have lived in fear of the sex place. Wow. I'm going to be really honest with you guys. I get kind of impulsive when I'm at the drug store or at a makeup beauty store. And I'm like, Oh, I want this foundation stick. I want this mascara and I buy all of this crap and it sits in my drawer and I don't use it thinking, Oh, these products are going to fix me. Well, situation is makeup is a very difficult thing to perfect. Fortunately for us, Bobby Brown with Jones road beauty has an incredible product line. I'm obsessed with their miracle bomb. I've been using it for quite some time and they have a new product alert. I want to bring your attention to it's called the Bobby kit 6.0. They just launched this kit, Bobby Brown's exclusive edit for the season designed to give you a complete effortless look without having to figure it out on your own and have all of this makeup that just sits unused, wasting money in your drawer. Inside this kit, you'll get the silky highlighting powder and highlighting brush, the new lip crayon mini miracle bomb and the statement mascara modern day makeup that's clean strategic and multi-functional for effortless routines for a limited time our listeners are getting a free full-sized mascara on their first purchase when they use code had it at checkout just head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code had it at checkout and after you purchase they will ask where you heard about them please support our show and let them know that we sent you all right kylie who's next okay this is alexandra hey beautiful gorgeous kylie no one is more gorgeous than kylie and um i guess jen pumps and stuff uh alex here i am a millennial i'm not taking my sunnies off because at the end of the day and i look like um i am a hpv survivor i break you the stigma okay um i had it with everyone in my office and i'm so sick of um you know the small talk in the office everyone how's your weekend oh my mother's word oh my little boy had i don't give a no one gives a about your kid's soccer game your mom that just turned 90 um you know whatever bloody boring golf tournament your husband did no one cares i'm so sick of acting like i need to be nice to everyone in the office like i'm happy to do like you know basic niceties like holding the toilet door open if someone's walking in behind me and all that jazz i clean up in the kitchen after myself but let's be honest we wouldn't spit on these people on the street if i saw them running on fire i i don't know you i don't want to know you um so no i don't want to hear about um you're boring you know retreat that you did on the weekend with your sound bowls and your sound bath um stop talking to me love you we love you back love her love the accent love that we have listeners in australia i love australia even though i've never been but you know this is uh i can let you all know something that happened between pumps and me that will help all of you so pumps when she was in her like helicopter obsessed with her kids mode i mean i would get around her and i hadn't seen her because her kids went to some school and my kids went to a different school and it we were just in completely different spaces her kids went to like a crazy evangelical school my kids went to a more secular like liberal type school and it it was difficult there was a time period where it was difficult to be around because her kids would start telling my kids like evolution's not real it's like that and she's like like we love donald we love donald trump trump train and i'm just like uh and so there was a period where i was just like they're kind of in time out like i'm so then pumps and i went to grab coffee or something and all she did that for the hour was and i love her kids i love them they're like she talked about her kids for one hour the most mundane and i finally go enough enough you cannot be one of these moms that only talks about your children all of the they're doing my kids have been doing it's boring it doesn't matter and you can't be this focused on your kids and she went oh my god you're so right yeah and then we met up again a couple months later and she did went down well sam's got this going on and emily's doing that and luke's got this and i go i don't care i love them i love them so much right but just generalize they're doing great grades are good they're doing great they're doing great they're doing great they're doing good into sports i don't need the minutia of all of the stuff and then ever since then she quit talking to me in those painstaking detail updates about the kids now of course obviously you know her kids are big enough to communicate you know with me or whatever but you can actually just tell people i think you're talking about your kids too much and i don't want to hear it anymore yeah do you remember me telling you that yes and it was such a wake-up call i was so grateful for it i really went because i was just like no one fucking cares you're 100 right nobody cares quite frankly i don't really care it's just what my life is you know what i mean like yeah yeah this is all i do so but i think i felt like it was kind of this breakthrough because you were so like you were such a helicopter and i was like you just you're you this is not sustainable like you're setting these kids up but i'll always quit helicoptering them they're like they're big enough to do this shit and it was kind of like this breakthrough moment where it was like i don't have to monitor everything they do and i have to talk about everything they do i felt like it was kind of this breakthrough moment in our in our friendship at least where i was like oh good because i thought is she just going to be like all those other christian moms at the school where their whole life their whole identity is their kids like it's important and i want to be a good friend like after 30 minutes i was like i feel like i'm updated right i feel like i know way more than i should here's another alley beth stuckey thing like they want women their whole focus you're only valuable while your kids are alive and then after that you're you know off to the pasture go ahead and another breakthrough moment that really helped me with parenting where i you know talked about codependency still working on it all that stuff i remember we you had your two boys and my youngest on a vacation and of course mine that went to the christian school was cussing like a sailor and somebody tattled and then somebody lied so somebody tattled you that luke was cussing i don't know which one of your boys and then somebody lied and said no it wasn't luke and i can't remember your exact quote but it was really funny it was like i hate people that throw people under the bus i hate tattletales and i hate liars and decide this for yourself and i remember thinking wow you don't have to get in the middle of all this shit between your kids no like you don't that i remember where i was sitting when you told me that it was like a laser beam of light it changed how i handled stuff for the better but i mean so here's the thing be honest with your friends that's what i say you make each other we make each other better you know there's many many things where you've helped me through you're very good at not sweating the small stuff you're very very good i'm not with the kids but in general you sweated all the small stuff with your kids but general life things and you'd be like jennifer just let that go and i'd be like okay you know that's a really really that's a really valuable point here like you'd say if you need for me to chew on this with you to get it through your system let's do it and then after that just let it go and that's always been so so helpful for me because you're really good about that um and i remember when i was a little girl i was a little girl i was a little girl i was a little girl i remember that exact time because i told the kids i don't i don't like a snitch and i don't like a liar and you guys need to work all this out yourselves i don't want i don't want anybody snitching on somebody else unless somebody's bleeding or or painfully injured because they were they were big enough to resolve it and i didn't we were on like a 17 it was josh me my two sons and your youngest son we were like a 17 18 day european vacation it was a great vacation but you know the boys were sharing a room together and they're tired of each other and they start some people start cussing and tattles and i didn't really care that they cussed but the tattle telling bothered me far far worse um because i don't like a snitch save it for something really big you know somebody's just constantly hall monitoring going and tattle telling nobody likes that person nobody likes that that was the lesson i wanted to teach the boys like save being a snitch for when it really matters like something that is really big right from wrong but somebody cussing that's that's not tattle tell worthy in my house i don't want to hear it i don't want i don't want to hear it if anything what word did they say right how did they use it in a sense did they use it did they use it properly yeah all right that's all we have send us videos send us voice memos are you still getting voice memos are they all videos now all right send both to us i love it it's so great to see what everybody's gonna tell us what you've had it with tell us why you're voting if you want to continue with the stds great i love it it makes me chuckle if not no big deal and you guys have a great great rest of your day abercrombie is and always has been the destination for holiday dressing think soft sweaters for those cozy nights in and classic matching sets for unforgettable nights out with friends complete the look with our wool blend anf carry trench and you're all set make this season all about the wool blend and the wool blend and the wool blend and the 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