Pandemic Proposals and Facetime Sex feat. Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

So then I was like, let's go back to your place. To you, it's a bother, it's a problem. It's like I'm going to evil your whole. She would. Then don't forget. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hi, guys. Hi. Welcome back to another episode of Girl's Gotta Eat. Welcome back. We are a comedy show about dating, sex, and relationships. And today we have four comedians on. So if comedy's not your thing, might not be the opposite for you. I came out of nowhere. You can do that. I can't stress enough, guys. Comedy. Comedy. Comedy. We're-- it's the category. Jokes. Jokes. So if that's on your thing-- You don't like jokes? Go to the show. But I don't tell jokes. That's a lot today. A lot of jokes. I feel great. I look great. I feel great. I look good. You could feel good. I look good. I'm certifying my mind. I have new eyebrows. I'm taking collagen. My skin looks great. We look great. I just took a Megan Nestalion Peloton class. I was breathless because I was singing. And dancing so hard. And I had my ear-- my hair pods in. So I was like, I am singing at the top of my lungs. Well, good for you. You have your own workout studio. Listen. We'll tell you guys about the new studio soon. Right now, it's just Ashley's workout. I am co-paying for Ashley to have workouts studio. Yeah. [LAUGHTER] OK. Little housekeeping up top, little live show update. We're going back up to her. A text is only-- Sorry, guys. Also text is Mississippi, Florida, South Dakota. Anywhere I get wild. That's where we're going to be. If you guys met in our website recently, you've noticed we took the shows down. We're doing everything we can to reschedule everything, manage capacity, restrictions, go to places we can. So we will keep you guys up to date immediately as we have new dates. Probably new venues. We're not sure. So nothing is definite. But we will have a specific update for you guys next week, the 315 episode. If you want an update this week ahead of time, we have a newsletter you guys can sign up for. We promise to send it out of the newsletter first. You can do that at our website, girlsgettepodcast.com. There's a pop up when you come in and also at the bottom of the page. There's a little newsletter placed for your email. Yeah, you'll be getting that news first from the letter of the news, of the source, of the source, the letter of the news. So stay tuned. We'll send it out this week for you guys. And then obviously we can keep up to date on Instagram, social media, as we know more stuff. We will let you guys know more stuff. All I got to say is, think of my, I was going to be lit. But hear me out. That's going to be, I can't wait. Oh my God. I might drink on stage. I might take my titties out. Go off. What? You know, we're taking our titties out at all the shows. It's a keyless shot. I want you to take a tequila shot out of your titties. Do you do that? I want an audience member to take a tequila shot out of my titties. You can't do it yourself. I'm just going to run around pouring tequila for my titties into your mouth. Do you do stuff like that in college? Yeah, I did everything in college. Did you like, if you could die? If you could die. If you could die. If you could die. In between your titties and drink it. Seems like something you do. Probably, if it was trash, I did it. I mean, I also have to college in Indiana. There's no rules. Yeah. Which is my Miller High Life. My sister and my family just photo the other day of me. In a bar with her in New York City eight years ago, there's a man standing on a bar, just sweaty, filthy, pouring tequila into my sweaty, filthy mouth. And I was like, oh, I miss that. I know. I miss it so much. We had the most fun night last night. I just got to say, I feel like New York, it's coming back. The energy is great. I've said this so many times recently. I'm just going to say it again. I just feel like the spring in the summer in New York is going to be like the best energy I cannot wait. But we went to this outdoor. We were like in a bubble. In a snow globe. Britney drag bingo. So the drag queens were inside. So we didn't really get to experience them. But at a magic bar. At a magic bar. So there's like, we had like, call drones of drinks. It's called the call drone NYC. It's in FIDI. And we had our own speaker in our bubble. It played Britney at a very loud volume. So all they were just screaming. And we played bingo with just Britney playing. And there was a Britney drag queen just like bopping around all day. A lot happened. My favorite was banana flavored condom. Yeah. Which I have a question. Okay. Why are they are people sucking dicks with condom? Are they they're liking the condom? So I don't want to shame safe oral sex. Okay. Is that what it's for? I guess so. So I, you know, I want to like make sure I was probably safety. I wouldn't suck a dick with a condom on it. But that's what that's obviously what it's for. Okay. A flavored condom is definitely for that. My pleasure. Right. I would do flavored like lube maybe. But I personally am, you know, probably not going to put a condom on then suck a dick. Just stuff for me personally. But if you want to do that, like, you know, look at true. They had a mint flavor as well. If you want a minty dick, it was chocolate mint, which is just like my- Oh, you sucked it. You came up and you put that condom on so fast. That was my daily harvest Monday tradition. It's just mint and kekow. Can I open your condom? You can have mine. Yeah. I'll give it back. Is that the mint chocolate one? This is the banana split. I just want to smell it. No, just take this. Just lick it. I'm not using it. Okay. It stinks. It smells like a- Okay, guys, I'm going to put it in my mouth. It does taste like banana. You trying to get it in there? I lick the other side of that condom. Oh my god. That is taste so bad. That was just the most like artificial ew. It's artificial but I don't want this anymore. Okay. it's like artificial banana, it tastes like a lollipop with artificial banana, I'm pretty much down. Like artificial flavoring, but it's subtle though. - Yeah. I mean a banana is appropriate, a banana flavored dick. But we were there with Casey Bolsham and Grace and Becca from Badam Paper Podcast all have been on our show. We just at the best time and you know, free Britney but it's just man, to listen to her whole catalog. Like you're just, I mean, I know we all know, but when you just hear it, that's all that's playing in like a three hour night, you're just like, what an icon. - She's just banging after banging. And then they have to bring in the crazy Rubenx and I like lifted up the chair and I did like a whole dance routine that I remember from Mina cheerleader, senior year and high school. - Oh sexy for a cheerleading routine. - It was sexy. - Are we, and let cheerlers do that? - And we won. - Like we all had a chair. Like it was pretty like we like, our legs were spread, we were like straddling these chairs. - 16. - I mean, I was, I was a, I mean girls were 16. I was like, I was an adult, I was 17. - I was 17. - So if I'm a cheerleader, - You look, actually can really move our bodies someday when I grow up, I'll be able to dance as well, it's actually. - Yay, see? - That was cool. - All right, well that's a lot about our social life. Today is also a special day. You want to pop off. So today's International Women's Day, March 8th, if you're listening the day this podcast comes out. And it's, every day is Women's Day on this podcast. Like the whole, everyday my life and all my Instagram. - Yeah, so I mean the whole point of Women's Day, obviously it's the day to celebrate women and focus on women's rights and equality. And you know, I think it goes out saying that's what we do all the time around the clock. But I just wanted to take a moment to encourage you guys to reflect on being a woman and also think about how that experience can vary across the board for women of a different race, background, sexual orientation, gender identity, et cetera, that's other than yourself and consider reading, listening, learning more from those voices and amplifying them. And I mean, I think this is stuff we should always be doing and we know you guys do. But I felt like today was a good day to bring it up and just talk about some of the things that have been on my mind personally. If anything speaks to you that you want to like look and chew more lately for me, one of my followers brought to my attention, the crisis of missing and murdered indigenous women. You can Google MMIW for more info. I posted some resources on Instagram. There is a vice video that you can find on YouTube. There is a brand new podcast on Spotify called Stolen, The Search for Germain. There's a movie that's been recommended to me called Wind River. And I can post all this on my Instagram store this week. I'll go ahead and do that. But this stuff is all, it's devastating. And especially to know that indigenous women may feel scared that this could be their fate. And so I think it is so important to bring awareness to it, talk about it, see where you can help and just wanted to use our platform to bring awareness to it. I have been reading more Asian-American news and reading more stories from Asian women in light of the violence and the hate crimes. I'm talking to my Asian friends about how they're feeling and just trying to understand how everybody is feeling during this time and how we can help. I've been feeling enraged at the whole Bachelor situation and how Rachel Lindsay has had to disable her Instagram account because of hate comments and threats. Yet so many people are so quick to forgive Chris Harris. And I could walk on this forever. But those are just a few things that are on my mind. They obviously do not encompass all women and all issues women face by any stretch. But I don't know, I read a quote that said, "We're not equal until we're all equal." And I just think that the more we all can learn about other people's experiences, the more empathy we will have, the more we will want to use our voices for good and the better off we'll all be. So it's just something to consider today. I'm sure most of you guys are already doing this. You guys are amazing. But I just feel like Women's Day has always been a really uplifting day. So I just thought like, let's gas each other up, but be intentional and inclusive about it and just know that women are so strong, obviously, but we are so much stronger together. So that's my International Women's Day soap box. Oh, I love that. Thank you for saying that. We say this all the time, but one of the greatest gifts of this podcast is all the different women that we've been exposed to and the different ideas. And I feel like I'm 100% a better person today than I was three years ago because of all the amazing women that listen to our show and give us feedback. And we travel over the country, met people in every type of race, age, and so I feel really lucky this show has introduced us to so many really incredible women. And we love all you guys. Thank you for being our audience. And we thank you for sharing your stories with us. Those of you who have, we just want you guys to feel seen and represented. So we're going to continue to try our best to do that. So-- And I know that you guys count on us to do stuff like that and give a voice to other people. So we're always going to do that. If you guys are interested, we are on Cheddar TV today in honor of International Women's Day, the programming all day long. I'm not sure who else is on it. But they are programming all day long in honor of International Women's Day. So we're being interviewed. So if you guys have time to knit a Cheddar TV, check us out. Oh, yeah. We're-- if you're listening this early, I mean, we're, I think, we're live on Cheddar, like 1125 or something. So if you're listening later, that might have passed. But we can probably post the clip. Yeah. Yeah, we'll post it. You guys can watch it. Hopefully, don't quote us on that. Yeah, we'll see. OK. OK, we have a big update for you guys. Yeah. From last week's episode with Neves Schulman about cat fishing. Really such a phenomenal episode. He has so much empathy for others. I was really grounded and really floored by him. But I said to Ashley, in the morning, when this episode came out, a two-second synopsis that would happen before, I got catfished by somebody who sent me a text and a photo of somebody. And then I allowed him to talk to me all day. Oh, I got catfished, whatever. If whatever. How is it the best event? But the verbiage was very specific. And the method of sending this kind of salacious text with a cute guy in the photo and then being like, oh, shoot, I have the wrong number. It seemed like Neve was like, oh, that's like 101. That's so methodical as people do. So I said, Ashley, in the morning, how much you went about a bunch of our listeners who had this same experience. I promised you somebody's going to reach out to me day. And they did. Multiple women have reached out since that episode came out, same exact identical texts from the same exact guy, different photos. But identical verbatim texts and our listeners got their all so smart. Every person asked for a LinkedIn or asked for an Instagram. And that person went away. I let him talk to me all day long. But all of you guys did better. I'm proud of our audience for being smart and safe, not as safe as I was. So good for you guys for asking the important questions. And it was different photos. I guess this guy who gone and found somebody else's photos. I found that guy. You found that guy, yeah. I found that girl's guy guy's girlfriend. She was communicating with one of our listeners as well. That girl said, this has been happening for years. We contacted the police. We're trying to get it to stop. So a pretty crazy story. Some telling Ashley about this. All right, you just tell them what I've been. What you told me and it just like jogged my memory. When Raina had showed me that like dick pic he sent, it did sort of low key remind me of like the photo that I got and the message I got back in 2018 that we talked about in the podcast. Raina and I were just joking about the difference between us. Like how she leaned into this and talked this guy all day and how when this sort of happened to me, I just pretended to be an old lady and send like old lady aspects. And the episode, if you guys want to go back and listen to the original where we talked about this, I looked it up. It is called Mo Money, Mo Problems. And it was on July 9th, my birthday 2018. So if you want to go back and listen to the original story, that's where it is. And I just I remembered it. And then I went back and found those screenshots and was like shook because if they felt similar. So I'm going to go back and read them. I got this photo of this guy. And it was this like model body. His dick is not showing. It was like his perfect body and then like a blanket kind of covering right right on top of the stick. So his dick is like almost peeking out 12 pack abs. And it said it opened with cum cuddle, sans PJs, please. It's very warm and then the picture. And then this is more of a demand than a request. And then immediately after because I got this in real time, so I knew the timestamps right after that. Fuck, I am so sorry and embarrassed met someone out last night agreed to exchange numbers and realizing this is likely the wrong number. Please disregard. Same same verbiage same verbiage same exact. This guy has used the identical verbiage on every single girl that messaged me. It's the same guy. Two and a half. Do you think guys the same guy? Like if you were to guess like is this like a thing? Is this just like the format of the catfish? Or could this be the same guy? I think it's the same guy. If you would act like a car viage is so specific. But don't forget that I catfished him back and I pretended to be Esther and I said I was in town visiting my granddaughter and he still was like, okay, well, I'm still into it. I bet. And then I sent him that I just Googled like old lady ass and sent him a bag. I knew this is such like the indication of how different we are. Oh, there I was like, Ashley, I have a new boyfriend. Oh my god. She was like, what's wrong? But it's weird. I think it did go through my mind for a second that you did that one night. Because when that guy messaged me, I was like, well, this is what I'm doing today. I'm just going to talk to this person on the internet all day. Right. And that's what I did that night. That's what you did that night. I'm not disappointed because I barely remembered. But I'm surprised one of our listeners didn't say, guys, remember Esther? Like I'm surprised. I feel like they're so on top of it. But do we know? Did we think it was somebody catfishing? Or do we think that it was like-- we never thought it was a catfish. We thought we didn't look too much into it. Right. I don't think that we talked about it in terms of it being a catfish. Yeah. But I remember that guy, remember? He was like super into it. And then it ended with him being like, goodnight Esther. Like he was like not a catfish. [LAUGHTER] What if that guy was like, OK, Esther, send me your social media? And you were like, I work for the government. I can't just feel like if that guy was either the same guy or just another catfish, like him, he was like, this bitch just beat me at my own game. I can't believe that this is such a tactic. It's so obvious to me. I'm quite like, send a semi-salacious text message that anybody would respond to. And then a photo of a Hawkeye. That photo is almost too obvious. That's like a perfect, perfect, perfect. Yeah. The photo of the guy that sent me was like a cute guy with glasses and a dog. Oh, no. Yeah. The pictures you got sent up until the dick pick were a normal looking guy. So Reina and then one of our listeners found the guy that he's been using his picks. And he's also using his first name. Because the third girl actually gave me his Instagram handle. Because this guy had given her the Instagram handle of another real person that is insane. So let's just say the guy's name is Jeffrey. It's a more-- it's kind of a different name. But we're just going to use Jeffrey. And he's like, hey, my name is Jeffrey. Here's my Instagram account. So he's saying, hey, I'm Jeffrey. And here's my Instagram account. And he's sending people an Instagram account. If someone named Jeffrey who has a girlfriend, who was like, this guy's been doing this to me. Or girl, you never know. You never know. And I don't buy any of this. This could be this couple that's doing this to other people. Oh, wait. Actually, listen, oh, no. I've been burned. OK, they've stolen my innocence. And I don't trust anybody. OK, what is it? Like, what? What's bit and twice shy? That's me, OK. No. Pull me once. Can't get pulled again. What's that thing you always say, Reina? Pull me once. Pull me once. Everyone ran to say that about a guy that had a full-dirt 12 times. I hadn't even fucked up. It's so embarrassing. You know, you get like dick-matized by somebody. And you're like, I'll just keep let her do it. I'm not even talking to you. That is a dick-matized by someone you haven't even seen their dick. Who has a broken dick? Whatever. I don't care. OK. It stays. You let me know if we're going to cut that. You know we're not going to cut that. No. If you know, if I told you Sunday night to cut something, you would be so mad at me. Oh my god. OK. But yeah, that was crazy. This guy has given a real person's Instagram handle. One of our listeners reached out to the guy's girlfriend, and she did the right thing. She was like, either your-- this is your boyfriend actually doing this cheating on you. Or I just want to let you know this is happening, which I thought was so cool and smart. And that girl was like, oh no, this has been happening for years. We've been trying to get it to stop. So-- Wow. Just stay woke out there, guys. You just never know. I've been like a ball of anxiety. In terms of actual safety, really just protect yourself. Don't be stupid. I am. And obviously don't give any details about your life to somebody doing this. Yes. And to anyone listening, if you get a message in this format, you know 100% it's not real. Whether this is the same guy or this is just what these people are out here doing, we're telling you it's fake. It's fake. OK. Don't lean in. Or lean in and do the ester. It's a lesson. Don't spend the whole day telling all your friends you have a new boyfriend. Oh, right. Every time you say it, I like put my head on me. I'm like, man. Oh my gosh. Just a like that, I think. I think I should be talking about who else I communicated with today, the seamless customer service. Oh my god. I'm so excited. You guys, this is-- You tell them. You tell them what happened. Listen, I don't want to drag seamless for this because it's like, are you seamless? So I use postmates. Like, we use all these different ones. And this was just one random person. It's probably going to lose this job. It's not-- I don't want to drag a company over like this one interaction because they did take care of what happened. I also-- I like seamless and grab them and I have it. Yeah. You talk about grabable experiences. So you and I were doing some stuff. Something happened. And then I just lost you for like a half an hour. You were just in it. Yeah. So I was talking to this customer service guy. So I ordered a salad. And they bring the salad to the lobby. I have to go pick it up. So I go pick up the salad and I look in the bag. And it's just the salad is spilled out in the bag. Totally in the bag. I mean, maybe a little bit salvageable, but still totally unacceptable. It's like, you know, it's still a pandemic. I'm not going to eat food out of the bag. I want to be sealed up. So I like-- I messaged the chat because I'm like, I want to refund or I want you to bring me another salad or whatever it is. And it just took a turn. You also were so serious. And I didn't know what was happening. I'm having a conversation with somebody else. You looked so serious. You were in it. I was really in it. And this guy I'm talking to on seamless as chat. He basically was like, I can give you 20% off. And I'm like, no, I can't eat this. You know what I mean? Look at it. I sent you a photo. And he's like basically like, OK, how about 25? I'm like, this is insane. OK, it just-- it started to feel like somebody was fucking with me. And so I'm like, no, I need more than that. And he writes, I know it does not satisfy you, but think about it. It is still a good offer. So let me ask you a simple question. And I read that. I'm like, what the fuck? I've never been spoken to. I'm a customer service rep at his job in writing. He goes on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like my offer of 25% off? [LAUGHTER] You know what? Has anyone ever said this in a customer's-- on a scale of 1 to 10, how much-- can you imagine trying to get this guy trying to fuck you? And he's like, on a scale of 1 to 10. What? Why? That's what he said. So I go, it's unacceptable. I receive food I cannot eat. He goes, I understand. And that's why I'm trying to get this solved. So would you please tell me on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you like my offer? I go, I said, please refund the meal. I cannot eat it. It's food spilled in a bag during a pandemic. Like, I'm sorry. I am going to bring the pandemic into it. Like, maybe I would have scraped the food on that bag in a normal non-COVID world, but I just didn't feel right about it. Which is not how I read the text. I read the text in like, it's a pandemic. I've gone through enough already. No, I just meant like, you guys, like, no, your argument was better. It's food. It's food safety. I thought your argument was just like this. And we've all been through enough. [LAUGHTER] I'm like, seamless. You should be mortified. You want me to eat it out of the bag? You want me to put a fork in there and eat it out of the bag. So he goes, because I said, please refund it. I can't eat it. It's a pandemic. Sorry, I cannot do that. I would appreciate you answering my question, so we can have a deal done. [LAUGHTER] I feel like this is Donald Trump. Just being like, I feel like we can get an excellent deal done. We'll get it done at night. I offered you the best deal. So I was like, this is so funny. I want to post it on Twitter. And so I just posted on Twitter. I posted the picture of the salad in the bag. And then like, here's what happened. And seamless goes. Hello, immediately seamless respond. Hello, we're terribly sorry about this. Please DM us. We'll be happy to assist. And then this was from Rainer Rainer. Tell me what you're saying. She was like, tell me you got a better deal. [LAUGHTER] So I responded to see what's going on. I actually called and got a better deal than Marcelo offered. Because I called them and they refunded it right away. It took me two seconds. I'm not out here trying to be a Karen, but I'm just like, hey guys, it's a pandemic. You've been through enough. You're trying to be sealed. If they forget ingredients, they forget dressings, sweet green specifically. They forget this shit all the time. I just deal with it. I hate it. It pisses me off. A salad without dressing. But I have dressing in the fridge. I deal with it. People make mistakes. But spilled in the bag. No, during a pandemic on these New York City streets. I was a scale of one to 10. How would you rate this? At three times. He wouldn't let it. He was like, you have to just tell me how you like my deal. That guy, I want to know that guy's return rate on fucking girls. I got to know. Well, you just said, I think, the key's trying to get fired. And what if I said a three? What have you said? It's the most senioritis response you can ever give to somebody. That guy's out the door next week. I got a different job at Postmates. And he's like, I'm just going to talk with people so bad. Postmates, if you're listening, do not hire Marcelo. Or hire him. That was the funniest interaction I've ever seen with a customer service route. I just want to know what was the game plan. What if I was like, what was he going to do? If you said I was a three, he would give you a 30% discount. You think that was his nothing? I think he's like, if you are four, if you are four out of 10, excited, I'll give you a four percent discount. Does he know me? Because maybe he knew who I am. Maybe this is the podcast. He was fucking with me and he wants to be on the podcast. And exactly like his goal has been achieved. Because what about Colin from Verizon? Where are you guys? Where are you guys? I was talking to a customer service agent, Imcolon, it's probably a year or two ago at this point. The internet went out. I was chatting with him, super normal conversation. He was trying to get a fix. And then he was like, love your Instagram post today, Ashley. [LAUGHTER] But here, if I was to be a customer service rep, all I would do is Google People's Aves. Especially I need my hassle time. Because if it's something that's John Smith, I'm not looking them up. Rain a greenberg, Ashley Hesselstein, I would look you up. What else am I doing all day? That's fair. But anyway, that was an amazing customer service interaction. OK, is that all we got? That's all we got. I have dating updates. We'll do it next week. We're doing it next week. We have stuff to talk about next week. Really quickly, guys, we're going to get into our interview with Hannah Berner and Desbyschup, who was her new fiance. Hannah Berner is a friend of ours. She's been on the show before. She is also on the show Summer House on Bravo, which we watch religiously. We love it. It's only on Bravo I watch. And I wanted to say one thing just to give you information before we get into the interview because when I was listening back at it, and I was like, I just want to make sure this is clear. So Hannah's on a show called Summer House in what? It's six season, maybe. And they did a quarantine version. So usually the show takes place in the Hamptons. They go out, they party. They went all into the house, totally quarantined for six, for seven weeks. So they got tested and they kept it really safe or whatever. So that's the premise of the show. If you don't watch the show, we just want you to be able to understand the stuff that we're talking about. So Hannah went into the Summer House show in July, the house, and still kind of had some stuff going on with a guy that she had dated previously named Luke. You'll see it if you watch the show. This is not a secret. But had met Des, two weeks prior. And so they'll talk about it. They'll talk about their first date, their second date. They had met two weeks prior before she left for this quarantine house. And they had gone on five dates maybe. And then she went into this crazy situation, which is documented on TV. So if you're listening, that's what happened. I just didn't feel like it was totally clear when in the interview, because we're talking to them as friends and people who know what happened. So anyway, that's just kind of the timeline. And so you guys have the backstory. And they're so fun and funny. And we hope you guys really enjoy our chat with them. Yeah. OK. All right, guys, we are so excited. We have a couple in the house studio with us today. One returning guest. She is a New York City comedian and the star of Bravo's Summer House. He is also a comedian and the host of the Desbishop podcast. I forgot her podcast. It's Burning and Hell. Actually, I've both been on it multiple times. Please welcome to the show Hannah, Berner, and Desbishop. Oh my god. Our first ever podcast together. Oh my god. It's the first time we've done a podcast on our own podcast. But we've never been a guest on somebody else's. And now we say we. Oh my god. You guys are we. Also, you're sharing a set of headphones, which I guess you get engaged and you just have to be so close all the time. No, it's just things aren't going that well for us. So this thing is from Amazon. It's a splitter. Yeah, she had a splitter. And she lost it. You lost the splitter, honey. I told you that told me where it was. I forgot to mention also that you're newly engaged. This is your first interview. Yeah. That's right. Congratulations, guys. Thank you. No, we're saying earlier we want to do just like a game show. Where whenever you engage, you have to go on to podcast and get really hard, difficult questions and see if you survive than engagement. So we'll see. Yeah. And I said, that's what we're doing today. And we're filming a pilot. And we're going to pitch to Bravo. And it's going to air right after Summer House. So it's like, it's like all night long. It's like, it's just a final rose. And it just me crying. I mean-- Well, let's talk about your pandemic romance. Let's talk about how you guys met. And then you went off to film Summer House. I'm going to start with that. Yeah. And also, I just-- this is three against one women versus des. So-- That's fine. This is a very slow evening up of the dynamic in our industry over a long period of time. So I'm happy to be part of the rebalancing. But at some point, I do want to just like gas des up. Let's do that. People are honest. I thought you were going to say gas light. I was like, yeah. Gas me up. Good luck. Gas me up. I'm a gen X. Like, are gen X is the forgotten gen X? No one cares. What does gas me up mean? Bill's saying he doesn't know what it means. He doesn't know what it means. Oh, my goodness. So I'm bare. Isn't already for him. It's just like-- Just trying to help-- It's a language barrier. Does it like-- am Irish? No, just like build you up. Because I think that our audience knows Hannah. And they know you as Hannah's boyfriend. But you are this really incredible international-- Independent. --comedy and-- Oh, independent. Yeah. So like his own career. Can we just get like a minute-- Can you stop speaking for me, Hannah? Can we just get like a minute of like, Desi's life right now? Yeah. Oh, well, I mean, you know, I'm from New York originally. I'm from Queens. Went to boarding school in Ireland when I was 14. I think that is St. Francis Preppin Queens. Not really. At a problem with alcohol. My mother had this ingenious idea to send me to Ireland to go to boarding school of all the countries if you have that problem. And then a quick version. And then I went to college in Ireland, because it was free. Bernie Sanders is a radical over here. In Ireland, he's like center right. And I went to college for free. And then while I was in college, I was in college with Kylian Murphy. If I can drop a name from a Peaky Blinders. And somebody pushed me-- That's why I married him. So she's literally engaged. So that Kylian Murphy will come to our wedding. That's like the whole-- I was-- That's the whole thing. --great feeling. Then, yeah, no, I got to stand up when I was in college. I was 21. And then I guess because they really saw me as an American. But I knew a lot about Ireland, because I was educated there. I had a quick enough rise. And then I'm quite well known around. I've done very well in Ireland. And I've done well in the international comedy scene. But as far as the American side of things goes-- I kind of forgot that you actually were born here. I feel like you're like a Hilaria Baldwin, where you're like people-- people look-- you call yourself Irish. And it comes out that it's like-- No, we just have to school there. I don't actually call myself Irish. People do. Other people do, though. I feel like-- Yeah, everybody else does. But I'm just Irish American community. I have very much like a hybrid life. Your Hilaria. But he does have Irish blood. But I actually speak the other languages. You do sort of switch into an Irish accent some lines. I'm a lot more confusing than Hilaria Baldwin. I can promise you that. Yes, it's Elyria. Say it right. Elyria. Yeah, you've just lived an incredible life. So we wanted to build you up and hear your story. And we know it starts with Hannah C. New, do comedy. Well, I feel like the last time, first of all, I just want to say I'm so happy to be back on girls. Gotta eat. You guys are podcast royalty. But you've also become such good friends. And whenever you guys ever mentioned my name on this pod, I always get a ton of messages. And I just love you guys so much. But I think the last time I was on, I was going on a huge rant about how you should never touch comedians with a 10-foot pole. So this is ironic. But five years ago, I was at the seller with my marketing team. And we were like, let's do a fun crazy night and see some sad clowns make goat tails on stage. I'm going to use clowns. Sad clowns. And she's been with numerous ones since. So long. I'm so excited. That's how it started. This is about that night. But he comes on and I just loved his low voice. And I just remember thinking, oh my god, this guy's so cute. But his whole set was about how he lives in Ireland. So not like I was going to be that bitch and walk up to mafjaro and be like, hey, but in my head, I was like, oh, I guess I'll never marry that man. Yeah. And that was that. I was oblivious to that time. I just got to know her because I think she showed up on Nikki Glazer's story. And truth be told, pig that I am. I was like, oh, good looking comic. I'm going to follow her. And we didn't have any interaction. I just followed her. Didn't even realize that she had followed me back. I followed him back because I was like, oh, maybe he wants me to be on his podcast or something. We can't last. Which I'm still insulted by. I'm like, why are you following me then? But I remember thinking like, but I also have never been with an older guy. Oldest I was with was like 36. And I've never had some kind of silver fox fetish. I have daddy issues, but pretty standard. I'm not looking for, I don't know. And what's the age difference so the people now? Well, the age difference is what is it? 15 years. 15 and a half years. I went on. Sometimes of the year, it's 16 years, which is the less appealing time. I actually didn't interview and the people were like, so what's it like dating a 45 year old man? And also, I'm not 22. I'm 29. I know spring chicken. But I just looked at her and I go, every day, I'm scared he's going to die. And the title of the article was Hannah Berner, afraid. Her boyfriend is going to die, which then Desz repost and says, pre-nuppeler. Pre-nuppeler. She takes all my job. She says she does all my material for me nowadays. I told Hannah, I saw that headline. It was just like, I know that was just a joke. Like, it's so funny. Of course, they're going to take it out of context. And it's like, Desz has terminal cancer. It turns into this thing. I'm a cancer survivor, too, just to add to my, my, my, my, my strains, just curriculum VTEC. I did also have cancer when I was 24. What, of course, you did. You're so dynamic, dad. I'm like, the things I've done for material, I mean, I've learned to do it in hip-hop, a testicle. OK, so you saw her on Nikki's story and you guys start following each other and then like, did a DM slide this summer? Like, give us this rundown. Well, like all great bravo, love stories. There's a real housewife involved in that. I was following Hannah. I was very aware of her. She was definitely in my algorithm. She was popping up a lot. And like, and I even remember before we ever chatted, I remember her TikToks from the early part of the pandemic when we were all doing TikToks. And then at one stage, I guess, in like late June, early July, she pops up with the Countess Luane on my thing. And I see that she's in Shelter Island. And I'm like, oh, she's actually quite nearby. And even though can I just go backwards a bit, she popped up on my raya numerous times. And I liked her on my raya every single time and never matched. And I was quite offended by that because she kept popping up on my stories. And I'm like, this bitch is not liking me on the fucking raya. But then I was like, I'm going straight to the source. So I was like, oh, are you out east? And she mentioned me back very quickly, yes, I am. And within like three messages, we arranged to meet for coffee and say, harbor. Oh my gosh. It's wild because, guys, I was alone with my parents and five cats. If you could write a worse, sadder situation for a single girl, I was living in it. I mean, I love to have my mom zoom along. That was great. Thank you, mom. But we were going these walks, a mental health walk every day. And she was kind of like, so what do you think you should do differently? What's going wrong here? What do you think we work on within yourself? And I'm like, mom, it's a pandemic. Mom, it's a pandemic. Yeah. They hate a pandemic. I'm like, no one's gotten away. My parents got engaged in four months. And I just had this love story in my head that it's like friends. The first day we met it, that spot, if I think we were done. We got along. So we were like, we're not getting out. She's friends, too. But I just feel like you just know when you meet someone, if it's going to be easy or not. And I remember getting his DM. And it being so straightforward, he was just like, are you out east? And he was like, I'm going to go to the next day. And I was like, first kiss type of moment. And I was thinking about doing it. But I could just, I could just feel like I don't kiss me. I was like, I was like, I'm just like, I'm just like so hard to get. Are you a little prickly like that? Like, what do you like normally on it? No, no, so there was a reason. This was like the pandemic. So I was like wearing a mask trying to look hot. I got sick. I wouldn't have been able to film. So my head, I was like, hot man career career. Oh, we agree. For that. OK, so let's just jump back into it and Hannah. So talking about what's different about this relationship than previous ones. One thing I did differently with Des and other guys is other guys. I am guilty. Like probably most girls have kind of like trying to be the perfect girl in the beginning. Like, I'm so chill. I have no boundaries. Everything is cool with me. I don't really have that many wants and needs. I'm just go with the flow. And with him, I had gotten in a big fight with my dad right before we, I got picked up because my dad had a fucking tea time right when he was supposed to drop me off. And I'm like, dad, I haven't been on a date in six months. I'm sad. I'm single. And you can't prioritize your golf. And he's like, well, you know Jerry hates when I'm late. And I'm like, Jerry can go fuck himself. So we got into it. He dropped me off. And I'm like, you know, don't want to be mad because you know like you want to be good for this date. But I'm just fuming. And Des picks me up. And instead of being like, hi, I'm doing great. Yeah, my life is amazing. I was like, my dad's a fucking asshole right now. She started ranting about her father straight away, which when you're 16 years older than somebody is like, bingo. This bitch has got some dad issues. She got like, what did I buy on the third day? Jackpot. Jackpot. But he responds. And I'm just like, my dad is pissing me off. We just met, right? So she's complaining about her. You were complaining about your parents, not just your father. And when she finished her little sweaty rant, I said, well, at least your parents are alive. Oh, my God. Which was a risk. But I just had a fun feeling that that would be her sense of humor. And we both died. We died. Lost it. We all, we both died laughing. And I was like, he's making dead parents jokes like three minutes in. And I immediately were just like, I just felt like I liked how his brain worked. Uh-huh. But a pandemic turned out weird. But I also was like, well, gross if I like the guy or not, he's a comic. Like, he's, it's just like, it's going to be a good conversation. I know that for sure. I love all this. I especially love the connection over the dark joke. It's so important. I know we make weird joking about it, but like it is exactly the moment where you know you like somebody. I can pinpoint that moment with everybody I've ever had a significant relationship with where it's like they say something really fucked up. And like it surprises you and makes you laugh. And you're like, this is it. This is the thing. Like I, can you, I'd be like, we're the same. Actually, you're going to die when I tell you this. So I got a catfish recently. And the minute I decided to keep talking to this guy for the rest of the day, I made like a super fucked up joke about babies. And it was so fucked up. And he said something like pretty fucked up back to me. And I was like, okay, I'll just keep talking to his guy, that's the test. It's the moment I knew I was going to let this guy catfish me for the next 10 hours. So he didn't catfish you with his looks. He catfish you with his sense of humor. Well, photos and dick pics. And it was a whole thing. We didn't have so niche, so I went from catfish last week and unpacked it. Well, you said that you didn't want, you said you had issues with dating comedies in the past, which we don't have to unpack that. But when you burned, he was a comedian, you're like, oh my god, I don't want to do this. Or you're like, what feels good to me is what feels good to me. And I'm leaning into it. Oh, I had walls the fuck up. I did not come in like, he's my prince charming. I just was like, who knows what's going on in Ireland with him. He's a good looking comic, which is so dangerous. But I love that he was older because I felt like there wasn't a competitiveness in terms of like he's had a lot of stuff happen his career. And he's not like comparing us. It's more like we're two different people doing different things, but with similar interests. And he was just so just like a fucking kind person. Okay. I was wondering about like breaking patterns or leaning into patterns. But it feels like you picked the parts of the pattern that you like and found somebody that fits into that better. So right, I think like every guy I've dated, it's not like, oh, we're comics. There were things that I liked about these people and things that I didn't like about these people. And I really think your 20s is about dating people and literally mess up. Like make the worst decisions. Find those red flags because when I saw him, I was able to really be know what was going to make me happy and what I wouldn't like. And I was just way more prepped. And when he was a little more like sure than I was in the beginning. And that first scared me. And then I was like, no, like he's letting you fall. Like be vulnerable. So I did have a lot of walls up brain now because of my past. But also I kept seeing like, okay, he passed the narcissist test. I think, okay, he passed the like having no boundaries check. He passed the like the way he speaks to the people around him check. So I just had all these subtle things I was doing in my head. I think I should actually just met me at the right time. Okay. Well, and I wanted to ask does too. I mean, we're talking folks in on Hannah, dating an older man. But I mean, does your dating like a younger woman? And she's in getting involved in this reality show world that is kind of like designed for drama. I mean, I know from Hannah's end like, weren't you kind of like, hey, I don't, I'm not, I don't play games here. This is it. This is what it is. And it's, you know, I mean all that, all that early initial stuff was very straightforward. Like I don't play games. I'm into it. I mean, you know, listen, it's an interesting time to meet somebody when you've had this forced months of reflection of literally doing nothing. You know, so I feel like you're in like a little bit more of an emotionally sort of calm place. So I was very clear. I was into it. But I very quickly in the when she went into summer house, I was not into all that drama. So I was really just waiting for that to pass because I felt like this was special what we had. And I felt like the summer house stuff was just a distraction, just noise. I mean, I appreciate it's her career. And listen, I've been in relationships before our life, all of us, all four of us, our lifestyle. It can be like a conflict with your partner. Sometimes it's all consuming. It's very public. You know, also I so I understood the pitfalls of that. So I was able to just try to compartmentalize it in my brain. But I will not lie. I didn't love it. You know, Hannah, I feel like your history track record, you know, you've dated plenty of emotionally unavailable guys like fuck boys. You know, we all have and I like what felt different about des in the beginning phases. I feel like I've gone for emotion, emotion, available men because I'm also emotionally available. And sometimes I can be like kind of competitive where it's like a game and like I don't want to get hurt. And I'm very like aware of the science. I feel like anyone's pulling away and then I just like pull away immediately. And with him, it just seemed like immediately we're on the same team. We both had like a common goal of like let's make this work, which is, which was very, very simple. And I remember him just being like, yeah, I like you. And me realizing like wait, I could just, I'm not enough to pretend I don't like him. Or like pretend I'm busy like all he wants is my love and can I give that to him. And it was just so so simple. And I feel like I just could always be myself with him. And he, it's like the little things like he laughs at stuff I say we laugh together. We just kind of bond over laughter. And her dad, her dad said that's my brother. My brother met her parents. And her dad said that's my brother told me afterwards that the first time Des came to the house. It was the first time Hannah ever showed up with a guy and she was herself. Which I guess is my own. I think I can, I'm a big people, please earn in the past. I just was like looking at what society tells you. She has no fucking desire to please me. No, I just changed. I was like, fuck this guy. I'm in a douche in a foreign space. Fuck you. But like, you know the whole concept of like this Prince Charming, you want to be with this rich, this famous, this good looking guy. And you just have to be this type of way where and I've had guys tell me I'm too loud and like I'm annoying or I'm too independent or I'm too work too much. And it's like I'm just myself. Well, these things are true by the way, but they're all the things that I love about Hannah. Right. Well, Des, is there something? So it sounds like Hannah sort of like mirrored that you were into it. And she was able to let her walls down. Was there something about her that you were like, okay, time to let mine down too? I actually had my mind made up before she went into the house. The house was like, the house was like a distraction, but I wasn't going to let it bug me. There was ones that tried, we wanted two moments when she was in the house where it was like, is this fucking shit scenario going to ruin it for us? But it didn't, it didn't last too long. No, I mean, for me, obviously meeting Hannah, like, you know, whether there is a thing of like destiny and you meet the right person, I definitely feel like I'm at the right person at the right time. And I think the pandemic had a little bit to do with it. My mom died like, he was a year, like a year and a half before it. And I'd been through a lot with that. So I was just, I was just in like a better place. Like it was just a good time for me to meet somebody like Hannah. And I don't know how to describe it. For me, it's very hard to articulate something that you just know. Yeah. So I wasn't like going through the list in my mind. For sure. I feel like that's something you're doing in your 30s. When you're 45, you're like, yeah, let's go. He's like, that's so millennial view to ask me that. And I feel like that. Sharon Horgon, another comedian, buddy of mine, she was saying one day we were chatting about like men, the difference between men and women. It's like, you know, women are always like hunting for this like perfect guy. Where it's like with guys, it's just like, you meet a guy like this little window, this little moment when they're ready. And it doesn't matter who you are. If you're in the fucking spot at that time, he's just like, yeah, ready. I'll give, I'm ready to stop. I know. Like I was they had like some sort of blinker. I feel like there's a glass ceiling with dating though, where you're like, you've dated enough people and you have to get just annoyed with dating enough that you're not like bad at it and giving up, but but you're just over it. And that last person, you're like, yeah, this is it for me. Yeah. So romantic, but it happened. Well, sometimes we just like to hammer home to people that like sometimes you meet people and they're not into you. And it's not that you're ugly or stupid or not funny. It's just it's the wrong time. You're not the right person for that person right now. And it's nothing to be sure. We had fun from the get go. That was a big part of the physical attraction. All that was there and the sex was good. We had like a good sexual connection. But I think the really the biggest thing was that we were having fun from the get go. Like we were having the crack as we say in Ireland from the start. We make fun of each other and that really is our love language. He was fostering pit bulls. I mean, I first saw him kind of like train this pit bull. It turned me on so fucking much because I was like if he could train that pit bull, he can train a wild girl on reality TV who needs like I love that he calls me out of my bullshit. And it's not like in a controlling way. It's just like he understands me. And I can't let someone like I can't walk over someone that's not a long term relationship. Like it has to be someone who calls you on your shit and you respect their opinion. But then you can call them out on their shit. Like you need someone who's your fucking coach in life a little bit too. And I respect his like life experience and stuff and a lot of pretty boys I've been with. I'm like you don't know what you're fucking talking about and I'd go do whatever I shouldn't be doing. Yeah, you are pit bull. I get that. I brought a pit bull a couple too many times. Sometimes I give her some treats. She's been click train. That's how I get her to come now. You know when it seems like it's good I start clicking and then she makes positive. Can I talk about our second date? Yeah. Yeah, they tried to get me to fucking talk about it. I have hour going. You went off and some other tangent. I just have a little feelings right now. The first time we did her fucking podcast it was trying to mean saying she can't fucking stay on point. It's right. That's what that's one of my OCD's. We're almost we're almost surviving this podcast. But you're on his podcast. That's what you got to get the click. I'm a client. I get a lot of tabs open in my head and he's like a one-trained pony. But he invites me to go golfing which is not like the sexiest sport to play. Like I remember being like tried and not look like a like old gym teacher. By the way, she told me she was into golf. I didn't just say let's go golfing. She told me she liked to go. Okay, I'm worried that somebody will ask me to go and now I know how. No one's asking me to golf forever. No, he was like, I'm just like, I'm just like, yeah, being golfing. I was like, I'm basically a retired old man. So like, let's go. So I go golfing, we go to his little club and there's always like older guys staring at us and I'm wearing my little outfit. And I end up golfing pretty well. I'm not going to lie. I did win with the handicap and he handled it quite well. This is when I actually knew that he's a keeper because I got an eagle on a hole. Should you go the sixth hole, powerful? No, I need to know what he had. No, we don't know. But thank you so much for coming. She did it exceptional. It was a good thing. I did something good. Hall and one. And most guys would be like touched down on the sixth hole. But he walked around and bragged to every random person in the club going, she just said go the sixth hole. She just said go the sixth hole. And I was thinking like, wait, he's my cheerleader. Like he's proud of me. He's not like insecure about his own shit. Then I was like, let's go back to your place. She was surprised. I didn't press. She was like, I'm going to evil your whole. She wouldn't. She wouldn't kiss me all the first day. Or because she was like, no, I'm not going to kiss you. Let's go back to the beach. I was like, shit, I didn't like clean. I didn't do it. I didn't do the prep. You know? I heard he had a beach house. But like we need to know what kind of beach house I want to know like the vicinity to the water, the quality of the sand. Oh, no, no. We're not all created equal. Also, we're not drinking on the first or the second date at this point, right? Two sober days. Great. Two sober days. I don't drink anyway. So that wasn't it. That wasn't a mess. And I love the sober man. It's like my thing. I love the sober night. I'm not even the part of my story. Anyway, we won't get into it. Save it for a future. You're dark shit. It's not about your dark past right now. Yes. So we get to the beach. And I think we end up kissing, sitting on the towel. Yeah, we were lying lying on the towel in the beach. Always good to sit on a towel if you're getting to see. I just know we're thinking like Corona, if you better be fucking worth it. This guy better be good for it. So we're kissing. And then I think he put his finger in my bathing suit. Sorry, that got graphic. Who's stronger? I mean, we just, we're making out on the beach. Yeah, yeah. You got a finger on the beach. Oh, my finger on the beach. Yeah, I dropped the hand. Yeah, yeah, as you should have. Right. He dropped the hand. And I have not been touched in about six or seven months by then. So I was spewing. That's why you needed the towel. That's why I'm not sitting on the towel. So I was like, let's go back to your place. And I'm soaked like my bathing suits wet. So there was no like cute little strip tease. I just was like tore that shit off just butt ass naked. And it was hot. Like it was like it sounds hot. It had meaning. I feel like. Yeah, we had a good, we had a good sexual connection straight away. It was good. And then I remember looking at him. And of course I had to do the whole like, I know this was kind of early. And I remember him thinking he'm saying, don't even like, don't even bring that up. Like, don't bring that up. And I was like, it's a pandemic. Like I just like you. I just feel it. And he's like, I'm not, I don't care. Yeah, I don't have any judgments about that. I used to have routines about that actually years ago about Irish girls. I was like, you know, I don't normally do this. And I'd be like, well, I do. So if you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it. But I'm really comfortable with it. Hannah was serving that like, I don't normally do this energy. And you're like, please let me stop you right there. I don't. He was like, this is my preference. But also, I also knew that I wasn't spinning. Obviously some guys are like, you know, deceptive and manipulative. And like, they make it seem like it's worth doing because there's more to it. I mean, I wasn't putting on any deception. But I also knew that I wasn't going to affect my feeling about her. I'm not sure. But I'm not somebody that's going to lose any respect. We also have like two. All that stuff is insane. We have like two four hour dates by that point. She's trying to make herself feel better. I mean, it was the second date. Anyway, the slice of her. Okay, so five second date. Exactly. I was trying to tell her not since the beginning. Who cares? Stop trying to eat longing. Well, it was actually about eight hours we'd been together. There was eight and a half hours. Okay. Yeah, it was like a work day. Was the sun out? I just just curious. Yeah. When you had time. It was a beautiful day. We love a midday moment. I mean, early those first five dates, they were quite idyllic, you know. Okay. Middle of the summer, pandemic, we would just have time. You know, it's nice. And then he told me that he didn't face time sucks. No, I said, I, I, that's more to do with the fact that in Ireland, I'm pretty well known. Actually, so I have a bit of a resistance to anything that can show up in a bad context later on. Okay. We did end up doing that, by the way, just to make that clear. Thank you for helping me out. Yeah. Face time. We got your gauge now. So, you know, I would think that maybe the boundaries are looking. It's hard to worry about FaceTime sex when she's in a house that is literally equipped with more cameras than any place I've ever seen. Okay. I can't wait for the end of having FaceTime sex. I got bigger problems. Yeah. Wait, do you want to give people FaceTime sexy tips? My advice with it is it's like jokes are funnier. You know, when you say the details, like I say, don't be like, oh, I spilled ketchup on me, say like Heinz ketchup. And it's like funnier. Yeah. So I think it's a writing workshop here, guys. Pay attention to your aspiring comedians. I did take a master class. But I do think that it's the same with sex with FaceTime sex is like everything has to be described and elongated. Like you're writing an essay that you're trying to hit to like 10,000 words. Where it's like, it's not just his dick. Like it's his like curved, hard, strong, big, like as many adjectives that you use. And then you, and then how you feel about it, like, oh, the curve is like. I like that deck. Like, you're dead. She always glips going on that I have a curvature in my piece. Well, so, because people talk about curves enough. No, people talk about curves. It's so big. It's like, yeah, what is a rough one? It's fucking huge, I think. It's so big that it has to bend because it just hits the back. It's like the cyclone. But this is like, you spot really nice sometimes though. Yeah, for mine. I dated somebody with a huge curved deck and it's kind of nice. Oh my god, yes. But I love, okay, details. Details are important. I love your body. It's like a gentle curvature. Let's not get too, you know, we're not going to have like people like messaging me about Peroni's disease. You know, it's just like a gentle curve. It's just, yeah, yeah. What's the thing in Australia that they throw and it hits them? A boomerang. Yeah, it's not boomerang. So did Hannah fly in your curve during the pandemic? That was good, Ash. Thank you. I also think there's like a tone in the voice. It's like podcasting. You know, you like the tone of someone's voice you listen to it. It's like, get a little soft and like, get a little motion behind it. Because you can ruin any good line by like not delivering it well. So like, like comedy. 100%. Look at maybe that's why we loved FaceTime sex. But it's a lot of the details and it's like, yeah, I want to like take my finger and lightly put it up your thigh and like feel you starting to get harder. Like that kind of like slow, soft, detailed. And then it's just like, you bounce off each other. Yeah, I mean, that's what Hannah's into. I'm more into like, I want you my fucking asshole right now. I'm just kidding, buddy. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just shitting on her like gentle, like female focus. No, that's not what you like. Okay, she told me all about it. Oh, yeah, we know. We know. And we'll get into that. But also one thing I do advise if you're in the bathroom because you're like in the pandemic with your parents, I put the FaceTime on the toilet. Make sure you shut the toilet. Big important. And as it's facing up, like stand over it and your ass will look, it's like literally what the toilet sees when you're about to sit down to take a ship. But like your ass looks so good. And you don't even have to open up that much. Like just let him see like the curves of your ass looking up at you. Like just looking up at it. Like a tap. Okay, so we put the phone like face up on the toilet seat and just kind of hover over it. Yeah, and then you could be wearing underwear and kind of like, swat around. It's hot. It's hot. Uncomfortable. Oh, okay. Yes. I love that idea. So that was because also like. Well, our early FaceTime's were in the bathroom because she didn't. There was a time where she didn't want to cover the camera. She didn't want to get in trouble. There's just so many angles that you could feel insecure with the FaceTime. But like up, up skirt is always just like, no, guys, not going to be flattered by that. For me personally, the thing that I love most about the phone sex is actually the sound of the current pleasure. Rather than the fantasy of what I want to do to you, I actually get most out of the fact that you're playing with yourself, playing with myself. And it's actually like we're experiencing this pleasure together. So it's actually the present moment that turns me on the most rather than the, this is what I want to do to you. I like all that titillation, but in the end, the thing that I like most is just that both of us are doing this together. Yeah, like it's not just once a one-sided show. Okay. And just like the sounds of the pleasure, like when it really happens, like I think eventually what happens is you stop fucking talking because you're so focused on getting the job. Right. And actually I find that the biggest turn on, it's just like you're just with each other in the masturbation session. But for somebody who's not so creative and isn't going to say like, juicy pussy or things like that, like just to hear somebody moan and like the cadence in their room. And like the cadence in their voice, like I think that's great advice. I haven't had FaceTime sex. I've had phone sex. Are you hold, you just hold it like your FaceTiming? Like are you, do you, do you, like it seems like a lot of work. Like I sometimes just are just tired. And between your legs, labia out, like just like. You keep moving around and like you know you, you crumple up your quilt and like hold, you know, leave the phone standing there. And then you change around. What are you guys, oh, come for there. You guys crumple up your quilt. Look, because I was, I was going to say, do they, I was going to say, I was going to say, I'm climbing an eight year old woman. What did I talk about? That was a moment of translation because in Ireland, we say do they, but I realize you people don't really say do they, right? I know what I mean. You dick, you dick down your do they crumple up your quilt. What else do you have? Crumple up your quilt. You fucking, you find a spot in your comforter. But also Ashley, what's, what's hot about it, especially if you're into yourself is like, while you're looking like, look at what turns you on about yourself. Like show him the parts that you're proud of. Like that angle of your side, boob, like turn yourself on. Like it's like, look at your Instagram from the perspective of your crush and it's like fun to do. It's like, look at yourself. Like he's getting turned on looking at you. And it's just like kind of a confidence booster. I know. Yeah. I like moving it around. So you focus on the titties, add the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, everything. I actually just want to watch somebody jerk off. I don't even need to see your face. I don't care. So you, so yeah, so that's the thing. It's like if, if, if somebody's really into like watching the guy jerk off, I guess that's great. I, you know, it's funny because as a guy, you just think like, how can this be a turn on? Because it's just such a numb attractive action. But of course, I'm only taking through my fucking head a real brain. But like, I just, I just never understand like, why somebody wants to watch like my blurry hand. Do what it does. Because it turns me on to see somebody else be turned on. Yeah. And with you on that expression of that is a hard dick and watching somebody come. And so it really turns me on a lot. When it's like, I'm turned on if you can't tell. Sometimes, sometimes when we're chatting just, I'll, I'll, we'll tell stories of other, you know, other funny. You actually can talk about it. You guys are podcasting this week. I do, you know, I want to ask you guys about is you moved in together like immediately, right? Pretty quick. We say like the first date should just be like going to home goods and see if you just survive smelling all the candles. So you guys can deal with that shit. Like why wait? So a lot of people don't move in because they're like, I don't think we're ready. Well, then when are you going to be ready? If it's not the honeymoon phase, like, I don't know. So I think the pandemic was just like, let's see if this is going to work. And let's put together a key of beds together two weeks in. And if we don't get in a fight, this might be something long term. Yeah. I mean, also, like if we're going to fail, it's feel vast. And we had such an intense longing with the, the separation period that once she was out, I don't know, just very quickly. Plus don't forget she was living with her parents. Like we're still in the middle of the pandemic. Right. So I was like, well, I have this other option. You know, the whole honeymoon period thing is a real thing. I actually think it's not a bad time to move in together because the sort of fog of love covers up a lot of shit that annoys you. Whereas if you've been together a long time, you move in together very quickly. It's just like, I like the fox the other way. That's what we're doing. How long is it? Eight weeks. You guys are living together? Well, like six weeks of summer house. And then six weeks of summer house. I was actually seven weeks of summer house. That's like, that's so much. And then like, and then like two weeks because immediately we were just like trying to spend much time together as possible. And Shelter Island and West Hampton are kind of far. And it became this like, he has to drive all the, because I don't drive. He was driving everywhere. And finally, it was actually such a non-romantic moment where he was just kind of like, do you want to just stay? And I was like, I was like, are you asking me like, do you actually want that? Or do you think I want that? She's actually, I'm just going to call you out. She's making up this conversation. The whole living together thing was just like a very quick evolution. Yeah, it was, but it was a quick like not. It wasn't like, here's the key to my heart. Right. But I couldn't tell if he was just being nice or if he actually wanted it because I kind of wanted him to be like, pay it back, I can't live without you. But he was like, you should probably move in. And I was like, how bad do you want me to move in? He's like, just move in. Like shut up. She moved in with a cat, which was a problem because the second night she lived with me. So the second night after she moved in with a cat, first night we slept together. Second night, like the cat comes in like, fuck him waking me up like, like all night. And the cat was meowing. Yeah. So eventually she slept in another room with a cat. I was like, Jesus Hannah, this is going great. It's fucking night two of our living together and you're in the other room. I mean, a girl has priorities, okay? Butters number one, your number two, you know that. Go off queen. But also guys, I've straight up turned into a suburban mom. Like I kind of love that your listeners have heard me from before. Like I walk a dog run into like other moms. They're like, oh my god, what could a dog is that isn't the weather nice? That's my life right now. And I'm kind of like, okay with it, which is amazing. Which is super weird. Also I like cook for him. I do hello fresh cook for him. And I'm like, wait, men love food so much. I should have just done this a long time ago. He was like, he was fat, take. People were right about this one. I love that his hand is not take. She's like, have you guys ever thought of cooking for a man? Like I literally never wanted to cook to do anything nice for a dude. I don't know why that's my own issue. But for him, I'm like, I will make you a sandwich and I will enjoy watching you enjoy it. It helps when you cook for yourself too. How many sandwiches does he made for a sandwich? How many sandwiches does he made for me? I'm not big into cooking but I've made a hand quite a few sandwiches. But she has definitely cooked more dinners for me. I've ordered plenty of food for us. You can use full of this. Full of food for her. Wow, you really pushed your boundaries for her dad. When you Uber eats in West Hampton, it takes up two hours to cook. This is the most I've ever done a bit of my life. You guys, I did everything by the book that you shouldn't do. Sex early, crying on the phone with him because of other drama. Living with a woman ex-fuel. That one I got to his house. I talked to me about it. When I got to his house to move in. Do you know what I did? I said get a dumpster. We're throwing it all away. Literally say get a day. Why you put it? You rip me. When you're on another dumpster. Did you not get a dumpster? When you're on another podcast, you can do this like I'm so fucking tough. Fuck you all the way out of the burger. But I'm with you now. She's going to play. I said we have to throw a lot away. No, yeah. I was very invasive. I was like, we got back from trash can. No, we put two. We didn't get a dumpster. We got a dumpster. If something I wanted to do and I was very motivated by how to move in and I went with the motivation. But she wasn't like, get a fucking dumpster. And this shit's got to go. How the hell does it go? Like, when the joke is good for you, you post it on the screen being like my girlfriend moved in over dumpster now. No, I did go to that. Hannah, I just said when your girlfriend moves in because if one thing I learn from you, it's how to do a fucking meme. Okay. And that's a positive. And we all learn here. And that's called a healthy fight. I love how unconventional, quote unquote, you guys are. You fucked right away. You fell in love right away. You said I love you. You said you were going to be a game right away. You have people come over every night and swap around. You just don't stop a little quick. There's nothing that unconventional. There's so many people who are like, there's all these rules for getting a man. You're going to play on these games. You're going to set it up perfectly. You're going to tee it up in a certain way. And I think there's just, there's no one way to get a man. You just did what it felt good. Raina, do you know that I cried after he proposed to my parents? And I cried and something just came out and I just said, this is something that I've worked the least at in my whole life. I feel like my whole life, I'm such a fighter and I'm a hustler. And I grind and I just, I'm going to work as hard as I can to get something. And I've never worked less on something that just like. Lucky me. I got the fucking lazy version of Hannah Pratt. I was waiting for a death to be like, I'm so lucky that she didn't do anything. Okay, she said that. I was shot. Okay. We want to hear about the proposal and then we're going to move in. We're going to move in. I'm just like, we're going to move on and talk about some, we got some funny stories from our listeners of like COVID engagements, pandemic proposals. We're going to just like read them to you guys and make you laugh. But just tell us about yours. Our proposal. Mm-hmm. Well, I was trying to get there. I wanted to do it on Valentine's Day. But the snow kept fucking me up. Oh geez, yeah. I was supposed to go into the city like on two times the snow got me. And then I'm not going to say where we got the ring, but just to say how romantic jewelers are. I mentioned that I'm probably going to do it on Valentine's Day. The jewelers like, no, you know, don't take this the wrong way. But if you give it on a holiday, then you can never get a package. So you know, legally, this is not the ideal day to give her a ring. No, because it's a gift or like a holiday gift. That's a legal thing. Yeah. Because it's a gift. Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah, that's a real thought. That's a real thing. I had known that before. I had seen that before. Like on some podcast. Make sense. Because if it was your birthday or Christmas, you could be like, wait, you're taking me to get my Christmas gift back. Even Halloween. If you accidentally do it on Halloween and it doesn't work out, like legally, they don't have to give it back. Even Halloween. Okay, so don't propose on President's Day or July. Exactly. Or that's how you know it's real if they propose on a holiday. So then you know that I don't want to be on a holiday. You're like, what the fuck is this? I bet you're gonna propose to your holiday now. Why is this a holiday? I don't want to burn a holiday. No. I want to have a specific holiday just for the engagement. So then for a Valentine's, because I wasn't going to do Valentine's card or anything. But for a Valentine's kind of intro, I made her like a little song which goes back to the early part of our relationship. And particularly when she was in the house, I used to make her like these funny songs. Because humor is like a great big part of our relationship. And I said I would make like a little Valentine's song to kind of tee it up. And then at the end of the song, I say I have a surprise for you. And then well, I didn't know. But I woke up with him like, I guess he's practicing it or trying to get the word out. No, I wasn't practicing it. I was improvising. I was improvising it and not having to- So I'm just hearing him singing in the other room and I'm like, what is he doing? By the way, I used these dumb apps. It wasn't like me coming in and being like, baby, I love you. It's like an auto-tune. It's like a funny app. It's like a funny auto-tune app. But he was like singing and then he texts me and it's the video. And I kind of watch it and then he's like, we were waiting for it again. Yes, he watched it while I was fucking taking a piss. But first of all, I didn't know she was awake yet. I didn't know she was awake. So then I'm taking a piss. And she's like, I got your video. No, I sent the text that would be on her phone. I wasn't sure what I sounded like. Is that what I sounded like? And I am telling the story of a proposal. Don't fuck it up like you did on the day. So anyway, so then I came in and she watched it again. We watched it together, then I proposed. And actually, funny thing about proposals is there's so much like prep that goes into it. It almost like took me by surprise the magnitude of the situation and that I did it. And then she was like, are you joking? And I was like, no, and then she just started. I was like, I thought this whole thing was a bit. I thought when you were joking from the beginning. The Holy Christ. She just, you know, she started crying. I was like, go real. You know what people cry when they get proposed to? I'm like, that's real fucking happiness. Like crying. Yeah. I was like, I don't cry. I guess I don't like it. So I was like, trying to cry. Well, right now, I'm in a shot. Come on now. That is not what happened. You had a spontaneous emotional moment. Don't act like you were in control. That is so mean. And it is like I kind of can understand thinking for a second that it could be a joke. And then you're not emotionally in that space. And then you're like, what am I, what is going on? Oh, no, you're right. Because when I got proposed to, I thought I was like, what is it? It's coming by surprise. Is it going to come out? Well, as you did a great job. Yes, we are. We love it. Well, we just want to run through a couple of these of our listener submissions just to like make you guys laugh. And we can chat about them after. But is that cool with you guys? To wrap it up. Yeah, let's do it. We're laughing at other people's. Okay, so these are, we asked our listeners just, we left it pretty open ended because they, they always deliver. Just like COVID engagements, pandemic proposals, whatever you want to call them, give us like the good, bad, the ugly, all the things. So let's just kick it off. Strong. I got married in May just filed for a divorce today. I saw, saw a cute sunset proposal. And then they proceeded to put their masks back on and kiss the mask on kissing photos. What the fuck? My now fiance proposed at my family's cabin in northern Minnesota, all caps while I had COVID. That's not what you want. I, I, I, I, let's see choose you up, I guess. Yeah, it's the cure. Love is the cure. I decided to propose to my fiance and he is the one with the engagement ring. We saw a lot of this, you guys, like we had hundreds of responses and I would say I saw like, I don't know, five to 10 of women proposing. So I'm like, go off. Yeah. My friend alope and lied to us about it so she could still have her bachelor at party. That is so fucked up. I'm, we have some more for you guys. I got engaged in the woods because where else is there to get engaged during COVID? My gay, broke off my engagement because my man fingered a 40 year old woman in the basement while I slept. Nothing wrong with 40 year old woman. I love getting engaged. Yeah, I was just going to say like, what's the, what's the context of the 40 year old? I know she's probably like 25 but she's like this old lady. 40 year olds know what they're doing. That's why. Yeah, I love getting fingered. Can't recommend it enough. Witnessed a virtual wedding in which the groom's vows included the phrase, it hit different. Oh shit. And then this one is my favorite. I like this. Got proposed to with a cameo of Countess Luan. Oh, that's nice. We like that. I like it. I got to tell you I saw Countess Luan at an airport in Pittsburgh once at the Fridays at 8 a.m. recording cameo videos. Shit. Oh, it would be scary. It would be scary. Oh, for like, good for you. Good for you. Good for you. Good for you. Always hustling and spreading love. And that's Hannah's buddy and Countess Luan is the reason why we're together. I know. It's always comes down to the countess. I hope she's saying it. Okay, I was proposed to while naked and bent over the tub clipping my toenails romance. No. My cousin scheduled her wedding for the same day is mine, which I had to reschedule due to COVID. Wow. She's like, so your date's open is what you're saying. She took all the vendors. I know someone who got engaged married and divorced all within the pandemic. That is impressive. This one. I feel like the ring story you got this will resonate with you guys. My poor fiance ordered the ring on March 13th, LOL 2020 couldn't pick it up for months. The store closed and when they started allowing pickups, they left it hanging on a tree branch outside for him. No. It's cute. But he couldn't even get it for months. It's just like the stores closed. Sorry. Sorry, but it sounds like a Starbucks order. They just leave it out for people to pick up online. It's on the second. It's on the second. It's on the second. It's the left. Okay. Literally watched my ex live stream his awkward ass proposal. I love to see it. Declined my ex's proposal in April. Maybe it was the pandemic. Maybe it's because I actually hate military men. And a guy from high school proposed his fiance via Zoom with an empty ring box I have receipts. Oh my god. He's like TVD. We saw so many Zoom proposals. And I'm like, I get it if you're like deployed overseas. Like I understand, but it's just like that is not what anyone. No. No. I just can't get over engaged married and divorced all with it. I feel like the pandemic really sped up everything in terms of relationships, though. So you fall in love quicker. You know, you realize you hate somebody quicker. All of it. You know, well, you guys know some people in New York City, you're literally, they won't break up because they're just too busy to break up. Like he is meetings all week and I'm going to Mexico with my friends. And then next week is crazy work for me. Next week, you know, it's been six more months and you're too busy to break up. And now, yeah. Then it's my cat time for the, but you really, now you just can make life decisions because life has kind of stopped. And I think it's beautiful. I know some girl who got divorced after eight years, the day before shut down. And then she was kind of single for the first time. But I think like everyone's figuring out we're doing the best we can. Yeah. I hope someone who felt similar to how I felt a couple of months ago has some hope that you just be yourself and see what sticks. I love that. That has motivational speech. Sorry, just decided to go on. No, we love that. Wrap up with you. I think you guys are inspiration. I think you like bucked the trends and you do what you wanted and it moved fast. And who cares? You know, still don't email comedians. But you know, it's funny. Nobody from my side says it went fast. Oh, really? Yeah, because when you're 40, they're like, "How are you the fuck?" Yeah, like it's, he was way behind to pick it when it's not for us. Yeah, just like thank God. Get it going. But also the reason that we didn't match on Raya is because he was out of my age range. Just want to make that go. Which was reassuring to me actually. So guys, change your age ranges. Stop trying to envision this like materialistic person. Make sure they're above you. Why is why? Should I go higher? I actually go above 20 too. I'm going to jump right now. I did take it down a little to 21. No, I did because I was saying I was only going to date guys over 30 in the new year. But then I was like, this is a working out. So I did, I went down to 29. But you're youngest? Yeah, but I'm not right now. I'm literally talking to someone even younger than that. So it's like, I don't know. You got to make it younger. I made my older. I was like, I saw 32 year old in there. And I was like, it's like 29 to 41 or something. I like that age range. I think that's a perfect age range. Yeah, that's perfect age range. You never know what you're maybe missing out on. That's what I'm saying. How about we do 21 to 50? I think you should bang it up to 50. There's a couple of like 49 year old gems in there. I'll tell you that. There's a couple of ones in there in that age range. You were for the rest of your life. You could do well with an older dude because older guys love a confident woman. And they really can handle it. And I think a lot of guys in my age were very comparing with me. And they could be insecure about their own shit. So I see a Zadi for you guys. Yeah, I just like, I do, I do just in your podcast. I just feel like I have a younger energy just because of what we do for a living. And the way that I live my life, we have a lot of freedoms. My mom is a young energy. It's just the ones in the family. Our listeners keep us young. So I'm just kind of looking for a partner who has that same type of energy. It can be at any age. You know, I think that there's like 30 year olds I wouldn't date because they're you see like kind of like old and boring. And then there's going to be 45 year olds like does it or just like fun and fun and cool. And you got the second date. That's your awesome. We love you. We love you. We love you. I'm, can you guys tell everybody where to find you both? Obviously, we'll tag the podcasts and everything. But how to find you guys, your Instagrams, your podcast, how we can follow along on the wedding registry. You're joining Facebook account. Yeah. And before we're pregnant, we're going to have a baby's Instagram. That's a big thing that the celebs are doing. Oh, just for the record. There's been no baby discussions. Everything's been fast. But Hannah just said that like as if a baby is on the way. There is no baby. She just went full clarondale on you. Yeah. She was like, "Beat me." We have to have a chance to have fun. And I'm at Desbishop. It's DESmond Bishop. But don't look up Desmond Bishop because he was a linebacker for the Green Bay Packard. So it's Desbishop DES. And my Instagram is @beingburns. And you guys should definitely watch chat room. It's my new show that I have every Sunday. I talk so much crap with Jazeal and Portia. Sundays at 10 p.m. And watch Summer House Thursdays at 9 p.m. Eastern. It is a spicy. And I don't watch it. There was actually a very early question in our conversation, which we never got into. He doesn't watch it because I cried to him about it every night. And he never could have a show. He was like, "I would tell you to watch it for that." Not to mention that like the first, like I actually, I was getting weak. At the beginning, it was getting exciting. The season was coming up. And I was like, "Ah, you know what, fuck it. I think I'll watch it." And like within the first two minutes of Hannah being on, she's like, "I'm gonna hump a tree. I'm gonna hump blue." And I was like, "You know what? I'm fucking out of here with this." That's the sound that I put on my Instagram story of her. I'm so sorry. No, I know. It wasn't that. I watched it myself. And then I was like, "I'm out. I am just so not dealing with this." I got it. Yeah. We love you guys both. You're a great couple. Congratulations. Dad's was great to meet you. Dad's also been here tomorrow. And then we'll submit this to Bravo for the whole break up show. We have plans. So did we get the girls going to eat stamp of approval? For what? Us? Just as a couple. You guys have to be alive. Oh, it's a couple. Yes, absolutely. But yeah, that one fight, I was like on the fence, but you guys. We have a couple of girls. Those are chill fights. Sure. No, totally. Yeah. Okay. We love you guys. We love you. Bye. Bye. And you guys know where to find us. Girls got ePycast.com. Remember to sign up for the newsletter. If you haven't already, updates coming soon. We are at Girls Got ePycasts on Instagram. Ash Hess. Raina.green. Bergen Instagram. Girls underscore. Got eed on Twitter and YouTube. Com/girlsgottoeet. And we will see you next week. Thanks guys. Have a good week. Bye. Bye. Bye.