Padma Dharmata - She Crossed Over During Childbirth; Experienced God's Omnipresence in Emotional NDE

Hi, my name is Paan Madharmada and I'm here today to share with you the story of crossing over to the other side during childbirth three years ago. Before I tell you that complete story, I'd like to go back and give you a little background about how I got there. My entire life I've had moments of glancing together side or having experiences that weren't quite what it seemed like everybody else was experiencing as a child. I spent time with angels. I was visited by you know more scary beings. These were things that really prompted a deep spiritual journey for me. I grew up in a very religious household and I became the black sheep of the family because I always questioned what I was being taught about what God is or what this life was about. As I grew up these experiences continued to prompt a very deep spiritual journey for me. When I was 17 I had a very brief near death experience. I got into a car at driving 70 miles an hour into a tree. Before it happened I came out of my body and saw my car from above just kind of swarming down the road and you know going off into a ditch and hitting a tree and then I came back into my body and then you know I was swarving and hit that tree. That was a very impactful moment for me in my journey again when I left the hospital completely nearly unscathed. It gave me this resonance that my life meant something and that there was purpose in this life. One of the things that happened growing up also was having this vision or dream of having two children a boy and a girl which is where my near death experience occurred was during childbirth with my second child. With my first daughter I did have a very challenging birth with her and did have some medical trauma that went along with it. After I gave birth to her when I was 19 I became infertile for 14 years and so I always questioned this feeling or idea that I was supposed to have two children that there was a second child out there somewhere. One day I did become pregnant with him and that was a huge miracle and in of itself but it brought a lot of fear and anxiety too because of that 14 years of infertility. And so it pushed me further to go into this deep spiritual journey of doing a lot of inner work of working through the anxiety of working through the fears of you know the even of the medical aspect of things having had some scary moments during the birth with my daughter. I did make it all the way through the pregnancy had a perfect beautiful pregnancy connected with the child so deeply in so many ways and I wanted to give birth at home and didn't have a midwife but I had a doula on who is the mom support and so I live very close by to the hospital so there was kind of a backup plan of things didn't feel like they were working out that I could get into the car and you know go to the hospital within a couple of moments so. The night that I went into labor well I woke up in labor one morning and i've kind of progressed throughout the day and then in the evening call the doula over after my water broke and I went into full labor everything seemed to be going smooth but I just had this inner knowing also a fear that had maybe a knowing that I was supposed to die in childbirth that I had this fear while getting birth my daughter 14 years prior. But I think that fear kind of like carried over into this pregnancy but as I began to progress in labor I just kept having this feeling something's wrong but I didn't want to admit that to anybody because I also didn't want to go to the hospital I wanted to you know have this beautiful peaceful experience at home and so my doula as the night went on as labor progressed and things became very intense she began to pick up that something wasn't quite right and so she encouraged me to go to the hospital. So we all gathered together and went to the hospital and the intensity of the child labor was I'd given you know again given birth to my daughter before and mostly unmedicated and so I'd been through childbirth and you know kind of had an idea of what to expect and something about this was just so much more intense I felt like my entire body and soul was just being split from the inside and as hours and hours and hours went on. He wasn't descending birth wasn't progressing I wouldn't dilate beyond a certain point and I began to just have this knowing before I ever saw or experience anything I knew what was coming I think my soul knew and so I began to become at war with God of just how can I connect them this far just for something you know so bad to be happening now. And it pushed me into this place of just continually questioning God praying God praying to any and everything that I could possibly think of knowing that something was very wrong. At this point the doctors didn't know really that anything was going wrong I had been refusing to be monitored I was allowing them tomorrow me but asking to free roam rather than sitting in a bed with you know all of the things still attached. And so they would do like periodic checks so at some certain point they did a check and begin to notice that on their end you know obviously something was wrong so they asked me to stay in the bed and to put on a fetal monitor so that they could keep a continuous flow of monitoring the situation. While they have me laid on the bed they had a peanut ball between my knees and in their mind they thought that my son was stuck in the descent so they were trying to turn him in order to get him to continue to birth. In that process while I was turned over onto my right side I began to see a figure standing at the foot of my bed this shadow for lack of better word and I knew what it was instantly in my soul in my mind and I didn't want to see it because I didn't want it to be there for me. So I would every time I would see it I would jerk my head up to look at it just to in my mind you know make sure it wasn't really there so I wasn't allowing myself to see it with my physical eyes but like my soul is seeing it. And so I would you know kind of lay back on my side and you know while I'm laying there I'm watching the monitors and my blood pressure is just crashing through the floor my baby's heart rate is stomping completely they begin to perform what's called intrauterine resuscitation they are giving me a adrenaline and a fedron ephedrine whichever one it is that is essentially like keeping your heart and go and keeping you alive. And so as they're doing all this you know I'm just watching the monitors just like praying begging God so this whole time this prayer doesn't stop and I'm just like continually begging God just please let everything be okay. And so I keep seeing this figure at the shadow at the shadow we figure at the foot of my bed and this happens several times eventually during this process I did accept the epidural in order to help with the pain process after that point I did begin to see the shadow we figure come the sand right in front of me to the right side of the bed so my back is to the hospital room door and I'm face over towards a window and then the shadow we figure is there. And it was really interesting to me like even in that moment I'm watching this figure they had a life of whiteboard on the wall where they you know write the baby's name and says welcome to this world and have my son's name written on it and you know a spot for the date in the time. And right in front of that board is the shadow we figure and this whole time be standing like out of the way of all the doctors and nurses so that was very peculiar and then this portal begins to open up right beside him and as it begins to open up in all of my fear and anxiety and stress and not wanting to die and I'm fighting this every bit of the process. I began to feel initially my mind every soul that had ever passed away at this hospital and so then I was even more afraid and it didn't want to pass through and so I did slowly begin to pass through that portal and as I did it begins recognize I was not just feeling every soul that had ever died in the hospital but I was feeling every soul that had ever passed through this portal either coming to earth or leading earth that we all travel. And the beginning of this experience it was quite an extensive experience that I had but in the beginning I didn't quite fully leave just yet. In the beginning I think because I was still dealing with a lot of fear and anxiety and just begging bartering with God to save my son not wanting him to die not even caring if I died myself though at this point but wanting him to be okay. So in the beginning of this I began to almost like teeter back and forth almost like this like wash where my soul's eye I guess was moving across into this other realm and seeing and feeling and experiencing things and then coming back into this realm and I kept talking back and forth. Like swaying back and forth and every time that I crossed over I was being shown these fragments of my son's life it was almost like a flip book as if I were him at the very end of his life. flipping through this memory book all the way through the moments all the way to the beginning of his life. And as I kept passing back and forth during this part of the experience, I also whenever I would come back to this side, I recognized that immense connection that I felt to every soul that had ever crossed through this portal, that every person that walked into the room, whenever I would come back, I would instantly, without seeing them, I would instantly know them, recognize them, I would know every detail of their life, like without even seeing them, it was a very interesting experience. And then I continued to keep going back and forth and I kept being shown more and more of these moments, these glimpses of my son's life. And so the more that I saw this, my son his father, who was there with me during the birth, whenever I would come back and I didn't have the ability to explain to anybody what I was experiencing. But I tried to tell him that I was seeing my son's life and that he was such a powerful, beautiful human. And every time that I would go back and forth, it would engulf me in this absolute peace. And at the point that I felt like I knew that God was showing me that my son was going to be okay. In all of the glimpses of my son's life, I actually didn't see or recall seeing anything of myself in any of those memories. So I felt like my son was going to be okay and that I was going to die. And so I accepted that. And so I looked to my son's dad and that told him, you know, we didn't come all this way to leave him to hand it. I didn't tell him what it was that I was feeling. But I, the doctors around that time had come to me and said essentially that I had to have an emergency CC section and that there really wasn't any time to wait. Hey guys, Dave from the other side NDE, I'd like to personally invite you to something special. Join us on June 5th, 2027 for one of a kind, the other side NDE event. 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So I told them that was okay and that I was good with that. And I, in my own mind, said my goodbyes. As for one daughter, then I love her. And exchange some words with my son's dad, my partner at the time. And I just felt so consumed in peace of knowing that my son was going to be okay. And being okay with whatever happened to me. And at that point, I moved completely through that portal. And I left so far and experienced the depths of what ultimate cosmic consciousness is. And there's, I've struggled for years to be able to find the right words to explain what exactly it is that I experienced there because there are no words good enough to explain this feeling of just being connected to every person, every soul, every experience. The core of this experience is that I went all the way to God or cosmic consciousness or the universe, whatever word, you know, that we like to put on this thing. And I met that that I became one with that that I experienced. I was allowed the experience of omnipresence, omnipotence, omniscience. I like to use those three words because those are words that we hear in different stories over time of just being connected to all knowledge that exists in all of this universe. And this peculiar experience of there were no words there, but there's this feeling, this like heart space feeling of anything that any feeling or thought that arises, it's like you ping across the universe and you're right there. Then, you know, like no amount of time. I like to explain it as being an atom in the brain of God. Like if you think about these images of brain scans, all this like electrical firings in the brain, it's almost like I was one of those, I can't remember the right word in my cons, you know, one of these little electrical firings in the brain of God and I'm just, you know, just like all over the entire space of like all of existence, that anything that was will to happen would happen or just being connected to all things, being connected through all time. The recognition that there is no time that in this realm, it's, you know, kind of like a linear structure to help us exist in this timeline or exist in this life, but ultimately that there is no time. And there were a lot of things that experienced that ultimately I wasn't allowed to bring back, but there's this like resonance that always stays in my soul. That I feel like it's a very powerful. And I wish that I could remember more. I'm to be able to share with it. A lot of this experience reminds me a lot of the dream state. That moment that we're falling asleep or waking up and it's like everything's accessible to us right there. I recognize during this the early part of this experience where I was kind of tearing back and forth and like experiencing that connection to everybody in the room that I was also able to tap into like I was remembering every dream that I had ever had. And it was almost like these feelings of like deja vu. But it gives me the impression that our dreams like sometimes short, we just dream, you know, because of brain activity. But there's a lot of dreaming that is actually our soul communication that actually soul memories. So experience. The greatest resonance of this entire experience is the amount of for lack of better word, the peace and the joy that exists there. There's this immediate feeling of being removed from your body and crossing out of this realm. Where it's almost like wearing shoes all day that are too tight in your feet are uncomfortable. And just being able to take off your shoes at the end of the day and just this feeling of just like a home, like that home feeling is the greatest feeling that I take away from the whole thing. It was such a great feeling like this. A lot of times in this life, we have this feeling, maybe like a space or a hole in our heart where we're chasing things this entire life to try and like fill the space of this craving that we need something. And the thing that we are craving that we're trying to satisfy this urge of like not completely being satisfied in this life, that is immediately the feeling that is fulfilled and reconnecting with the other side. And even the words joy and peace and love like these aren't good enough words to explain this feeling, this existence. It's just it is an isness where pain and suffering and extreme emotions don't even exist. There's just a complete wholeness that the best thing that we can explain it the best way that we can explain it on this side is joy and love and peace. At some point, this experience concluded, and I was back in my body, and I was being wheeled to the surgery room to have the C section. And I wasn't having any experience, I wasn't seeing any figure, the shadowy figure, when I went into the surgery, my son's dad was to my right to write him in. And there was an anesthesiologist behind me. And then all of the other staff was you know, down behind the curtain. And while they were performing the C section, the entire time there was somebody or something holding my left hand, but I never saw anything or anybody to my left side, but I could feel somebody holding my hand the entire time. And throughout this entire experience, I always have this feeling that there were angels with me in that room, some of than were nurses and some of them I wasn't able to see in the physical. And then at some certain point they lift up my son and he starts crying and that's the most beautiful sound that you can ever hear in this life, especially in that situation. And the reason that they found out at this point in a kind of skipped over some of the medical details of, you know, what exactly it happened. But they discovered that his cord his embellical port having wrapped around his neck three times. And so he was just he was stuck in the descending process, but his cord was so tight that it was choking him with each compression of contractions and ultimately that was cutting off his blood flow and oxygen. So he's immediately fine once he, you know, came out and then they took him out of the room and completed the surgery and, you know, at this point, you know, there were, you know, some more complications, but ultimately I lived the entire time, you know, I'm just waiting like, OK, I'm ready to go. And you know, I just stayed in my body after that point. So there were some moments where it was kind of touch and go, but then ultimately after recovery, then the recovery room after the surgery, everything was fine. My heart rate and blood pressure returned to normal and, you know, I was reunited with my son and it was really a bewildering experience, especially for those two days afterwards of not understanding why I was still in my body or why I was still here, why did I have this experience or what even happened. But also recognizing that it was a very powerful and impactful experience. My son's father, I tried to explain to him not even right away. I don't think that I really even had like the mental ability to explain to anybody what happened right away. But over time, I began to process it. In the beginning, I had a lot of challenges for probably a few months where that resonance of that entire experience was so saturated into my entire existence that I could only focus on how much I just missed that place. And I cried every day just because I wanted to go back, but also being so joyful about having, you know, this beautiful human of a son and knowing that part of my purpose of remaining here was specifically for him and my daughter. But to this day, my son is three and a half years old right now and I still miss that place every day, but I am in a better place now where I understand, you know, why I'm here and what I have left to do. But in those early days, there wasn't a lot of normalcy that I could go back to and I like to explain it in a way that was almost as if like my roots were still in that plane. But then I was reaching out into this plane to continue living out my life and I had a lot of challenges physically, but also I can do normal things such as watch TV or even listen to, you know, most music, the vibrations and the energy of a lot of things really almost like hurt me and I wouldn't call it anxiety, but it did bring up a lot of like maybe like medical trauma as well. Like a TV show with like police sirens in it or like, you know, like alarms be being, you know, things like that like brought up these like, you know, weird feelings. So I really immersed myself in those early months with just playing really calm meditation music, but also going through a period of time of, you know, trying to understand what exactly happened. And I began to slowly watch different programs on the other side, NDE YouTube channel was actually one of the things that I felt very drawn to. And I did watch a lot of experiences of others having these near death experiences to try and help me understand my own, I went through this period of time of feeling so alone, even being surrounded by people that loved me. I was able to go alone in this experience and the understandings that I had in the takeaways that I came away from all of this with. And the more that I tried to explain it with my son's dad, who was my partner at the time, the more that I felt like I don't know that I can really like make anybody comprehend what exactly it is that I experienced. But as I watched other people's, you know, videos on their near death experiences, I also noticed and recognized that there weren't a lot of experiences that were like mine. And there, you know, I saw a lot of stories about someone having a guide or, you know, being in a certain place or, you know, they're being a bright light. So it really kind of made me question even further like what exactly is it that I experienced. And so it led me on this journey of just, you know, watching a lot of stories of saints and just a lot of spiritual documentary. And I did find some resonances and some answers for myself. So the shadowy figure that I saw in the hospital. That figure, that soul, in the hospital, I likened him to be like an angel of death that I really feel like a better way to explain him is to be like a guide between worlds. That figure stayed for a few weeks. And never, I would lay in bed with my son at night. And I would see the shadowy figure like standing outside our bedroom. You've never come into the bedroom, but just stand outside and kind of just watch. It was almost like a caring, just checking in type of energy about six months after that experience. I went through a very challenging time that kind of felt to be like an integration process of experience. So much pureness and cosmic consciousness that it almost felt to be like I had to go through this challenging time to like reintegrate as a human for lack of better word. Without that process, I actually collected a lot of many teachings and writings from myself and other teachers and saints and gurus over the time. I wrote a little bit about the experience that I had. I published it in a book called light in the darkest of nights and really I wrote this as a guide for myself through these challenging times. And I feel like my entire life that I have always had this deep fear of death and ultimately is a large part of why I thought this experience coming on. And I feel like that that's a human, is a human thing. We're all afraid of death that are core, even animals are afraid of death at their core. After having this experience, that's not a fear that I have anymore, not in a dark morbid type of way, but just like understanding what it is that actually happens at the end of our life. And I feel like that's something to offer other people as well. And I like to discuss with people who are missing a loved one or having a hard time with death around them is that, you know, when we're on the other side, we recognize immediately how connected we are to everybody who still miss earth playing when we're on this side, we just see this person has gone. But they're never really gone. We just, we, we are missing our idea of who they are in our life and that connection, but that connection still exists and they're always right there with us. From this experience, when I came back from this experience, the biggest thing that stayed with me is that we're all on this life and we get caught up in our day to day, you know, work this job by this house, we have this car that's that as this relationship, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Things are great in this life and it's a part of this existence that ultimately none of that matters. At the end of this life, the only thing that remains that passes through with us to the other side from life to life for, you know, playing to playing is our connection with each other. And that energy, how we impacted each other, even just within our circle, it doesn't mean we have to like go out and change the world, we change the world within ourselves, we change our world, we change the world just by impacting our family and our friends and just wherever we are each day, every single moment is important. We all have purpose and to do that with joy, to find joy in our existence, even in the hard moments. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to find my links, they are in the description box below this video. Thank you so much for listening today. My name is Padma Darmatta, namaste.