Owen Wilson

Hi, my name's Owen Wilson, and I feel good about being Conan O'Brien's friend. Okay, this is clearly like a hostage situation. Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, a slightly different situation today. We have Sona Movsesian, as we always do. Good to see you, Sona. Hey, good to see you, too. You look very nice today. Yeah, I dolled up. Yeah, you do. You look really nice. And Matt Gurley is out. He's got, I think, a cold. He's got two little kids in his house, and I think he has. He's just going to be in that situation where he has a cold, I think, every five days. Yeah, well, I mean, Glenn just started school, and the schools are cesspools. Incubators. Incubators. Kids always have snot coming down their noses. Yeah, I suppose that's true. And so we have David Hopping sitting in. And David, I know I had a little hitch in my voice there, in my sentence, like, I wasn't happy to see you, but I am. Oh, I didn't even notice the hitch. Oh, well, then maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. Okay. But I've. I've overcome my reservations about you taking over for Matt Gurley. Now, you step in from time to time. You're a fine assistant. Hey, thanks. And I'm sure there are people who love you. Now, let's. Let's get him on the phone. You have something that you wish to talk about. Yes, a fan of yours reached out, and I just wanted to share this message and get your thoughts on it. I always like to hear from the fans. Occasionally, a king likes to put on a disguise and walks among his. Peoples. Okay. And so this is my chance to find out, because I'm up in my. In the clouds, sitting on my golden throne. You're unreachable. Unreachable, untouchable, a god. Yeah, you walk in here, and we all, like, bow, and we revere you, and no one's, like, laughing at you and stuff. Why would they laugh at me? With you. With you. With you. That's what I meant. Okay, let's hear it. Okay. It says, Hi, David. I'm reaching out in need of your help. My name is Seth, and I'm a huge fan of all things Conan. My wife and I are expecting our second baby this November. We are currently in the process of deciding on names. We do not know the gender, but if the baby is a boy, I would love to name him Conan. My wife is not on board with this name. She did say, though, that if I were to get Conan to agree with us naming our future child after him, she would be on board. Any assistance on this matter would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully hear from you soon. Seth. Wow. Conan's cool. Is it? I don't know. I have to say, this is a delicate matter, because it's a huge decision naming a child. When I was born, first brother was Neil, then Luke, and then when I was born, I was unnamed, I think, for a few days. This is according to my mom, who told me this later on, and my dad went to the library. This is way back in 1963 and started looking up interesting names, and he had this whole theory about how names should be. It should be striking, but not complicated, and it should elide with the last name. So Conan No. Brian. Oh, yeah. But he did all this research and found the name Conan. He didn't know anything about Conan the Barbarian. He didn't know anything about it, because they were, at that time, like graphic novels or something. He didn't know anything about that, and there were no movies yet. So he just found this name Conan, which had some, like, from the Middle Ages or something like that. So he gave me that name, and for a while, it was kind of cool. And then that movie came out. And everyone was like, Hey, Conan, where's your sword? And then the beatings would commence. But that was going to happen regardless. The beatings, yes. Yeah, yeah. The beatings were just going to happen. Even if your name was like Brad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The beatings. But why you? Why didn't he stress out about Neil or Luke's name? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he saw that I was the chosen one. There was a golden light. I was the only one that had, when I was born, I had bright orange hair like an orangutan. And my mom said, You look like a fat Buddha with, like, a Lucille Ball wig. And I was like, I love you too, Mom. But anyway, so I had the name Conan. This is a big decision. And I have to say, I have fans occasionally show me that they've had a Conan caricature, like, put on their ankle or something. And I always think, I don't know how I feel about that. Did you ever think about naming Beckett Conan Jr.? Yes. You did, really? Yeah, he was Conan Jr. for four years. And then he took us to court. When he was four? Yeah, he took us to court when he was four. And the judge immediately, immediately sided with Conan Jr. No, no, not for a second. No, my God, that'd be awful. Were there celebrities that you wanted to name your kids after? No. But you're also, you have a very special, like, thing of you can just be one name. Because your name is so unique. Yes, I'm up there with other one-name celebrities. Yes. All you have to do is say Rihanna. Okay. Like Rihanna. Well, you can. You can say Rihanna went to a party with Conan. Madonna. And Madonna. My queen, Cher. Yeah. You don't even have to say my queen, Cher. Just Cher. I know. So let's say this again. Cher, Rihanna, Madonna, and Conan went to a party. No one thinks that's a weird sentence. No one says, wait a minute, hold on a second, because I'm a one-name celebrity. Yeah, I, that's, you're making jokes, but that's true. And that's really cool. You really think if you heard, that Conan, Rihanna, Cher, and Madonna went to a party, you wouldn't spit out whatever you were drinking? I think it would be more like, what party that Madonna, Rihanna, and Cher are at, did they invite Conan? But I would know it's you. No, no, no. That wasn't my question. My question is, they're all one-name people. I'm a one-name person, but I shouldn't be in there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The bouncer should have stopped you from getting in there. I would want to know which one of the three invited you. I know. Oh, none of those people were inviting me. None of them, jeez. No, no. That's one of those things where they're out having a party and then I'm there inspecting the HVAC and I wander by their table. And then someone gets a picture and suddenly my name is in with them, but they don't include the part about repairing the HVAC. I think, no, I'm going to have to side with the wife on this one. I think, yeah, right? I would side with him. Really? I think it's a really, I think it's a cool name. It's different. Eduardo, what do you think? There's a Conan Gray. Be honest. He's a young chap. My feeling is it's a unique name. And if you let somebody else start to use it, it becomes less unique. So for your own brand safety. But what do you think about singer Conan Gray? Don't we root against him now? Nah, nah, we don't. Yeah. Okay, good. Well, and what do you think, David? Yeah. No. Yeah. Also, can I just say, David, you have a lot of, the name Conan triggers you. Yeah. Insane requests at 4 a.m. Uh-huh. You know, constantly insisting on it. Insisting. You pretend to be paparazzi so that I look like I'm really making the scene. Yeah, trying to clear the area. Even though you're just not, you're holding an invisible camera and you say, click, click. I'm going to say, yeah, I think it's a no, you know? Sorry, Seth. I think Miles is a really good name. I like the name Miles. I like Miles. Yeah. I like Miles, but I also do like Conan. I think it's a really cool name. Yeah, but not for others. I think we just let it lie. Okay, fine. And also, I'll find myself, I'll be, and by the way, they said, they don't know the gender yet. We haven't determined my gender yet. So Conan works either way. I'm having a gender reveal party next year here on the podcast. All right, let's do this. My guest today has starred in such movies as Zoolander and Wedding Crashers. His Apple TV Plus series, Stick, returns for its second season in November. And starting October 2nd, you can see him in Rolling Loud the movie, the very, very busy, but endlessly enjoyable, Owen Wilson is here. Owen, welcome. It doesn't happen all the time, but I'll mirror the person that I'm talking to. And the minute I saw you, I walked in and I saw you, I slowed down my speech and I started to notice that I'm kind of, I wasn't doing it intentionally. I'm kind of talking like Owen, you know, and I'm sort of like, man, I'm going the other way. I'm, I'm revving myself up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you hate yourself? Do you hate yourself now? How much do you hate yourself right now? Are you needy? Are you a needy guy who hates people, hates himself? Well, I am super thrilled you're here because I think we have a lot to talk about. This is the Owen Wilson takedown interview. Good. I'm, because you've been riding high way too long. Yes. You get away with murder. I really believe that. And this is the takedown. I was trying to find out, start with a point of commonality. Like what do you're from Dallas? I'm from Boston. We could not come from more different places. My parents are from, my dad's from Boston. Oh, really? My dad's from Belmont. You're kidding. Yeah. That's what my parents lived before my mom got pregnant with me. And true story, the landlords, she had two kids already, Luke and Neil. She's the landlord saw my mom was pregnant with the third and said, you gotta, you can't stay here. This was the 19, you know, this is like 1963 when you could say, Hey, you're pregnant. Get the fuck out. Was this against the Irish? yeah yeah he was like oh my god she's probably pregnant with seven kids so they had to move and they moved into uh to brookline and then i was born like months later and i know that's why you came here today to hear that story ducacus what's that was ducacus from brookline brooklyn yes uh michael ducacus who ran in let me get this straight was it 1988 i think he ran for president 88 yeah and uh he was the governor of massachusetts but yeah he was uh and the day true story he runs for president he loses to george hw bush and the next night my brother sees him in line at the brookline star market and he's buying soda pop for his secret security detail that's leaving that day he was in line like wearing a rain this is the greatest empire the world has ever seen the most powerful country in the world and he you know missed by some points becoming the leader of that free world and he's at the star market eight item or less because those guys are leaving that's kind of a poignant scene yeah and i don't think the secret service should do that but they broadcast all protection is leaving mike ducacus right now because this soda pop that's what we get but that's a true story there was something with him um wasn't there sort of a photograph that they say sort of hurt his campaign and it was a tank yeah where he had the helmet he was touring a military yeah yeah and he got into a tank with his head sticking out and someone put a big helmet on him didn't look powerful no looked no yeah it looked like he was in a go-kart yeah yeah and he just looked kind of yeah like um so i didn't know that your your dad's from from from belmont so you know that wearing the hat thing about um jfk when he came to texas you know they tried to get him to put on a cowboy hat he wouldn't do it he had enough sense to be like well i'll come back like he didn't get knowing that would go around that would all have oh remember that great picture of jfk and a cowboy yeah yeah have a sense of himself that like that's not how i want to be yeah no he didn't put on the hat he wouldn't he didn't like to wear hats i mean he had cool hair he had the coolest hair of any president yeah i think that was like uh when eb white wrote his sort of that was his little tribute to jfk he uh they did not wear a hat i gotta look that up i wrote eb white a fan letter you did yeah when i was uh a kid just about how much i admired his writing and and he wrote me back i've i i got it the letters i got the letter back i think in 1980 we've mentioned it here before but it bears repeating uh clearly i said to him i want to be a writer or be creative or be out there but i'm afraid of criticism and he said well if you're afraid of criticism you're gonna have a rough time of it because he's not going to be a writer he's not going to be a writer everyone gets criticized and then i chose comedy i chose the thing where everybody can say anytime you suck so that's funny the eb white that was my um my quote that um when i was applying to college uh was from stewart little was live and learn um and the only and that was my dad because i'd been kicked out of school and once we found out that the college that they would see that because we weren't sure are they gonna see that i was kicked out or will it just show oh yes they're gonna see and so that's when we pivoted and my dad had his old ad agency working on my essays how to turn you're getting kicked out of school to live and learn and i still remember the first sentence of it you know my dad was a good writer he goes while my record may not reveal this i feel it's important for me to address this we knew it was going to reveal but we were getting out in front oh my god that's cheating wait a minute you were expelled for cheating yeah cheating in geometry geometry well you know what and then he cheated on his personal essay he didn't know he wasn't cheating i was involved too i was there yeah i was there i have read stewart little yeah you know i knew i got this owen was there he was just a takedown he was there with the 15 other copywriters and the ceo of the ad company he didn't say anything i got this well they saw through it because i did not get into wesleyan or dartmouth or williams or washington and lee wow but you did go to military school yeah yeah and uh this this blows my mind because i just don't picture you why get a real military demeanor real square you know what i take it back i just got a better look at you and man you that's a guy you can bounce a quarter off his bed every morning those are hospital corners private first class yes all right so you're gonna shoot through the ranks shoot up through the ranks there but you know what's funny all so many times a great military doesn't always happen but great military leaders or people who are very brave in combat were at the bottom of their class at west point yeah so you might be a great great military figure that just i'm just saying it's possible but i think there are like because there's sort of attention given to the guy who's first in the class but the guy who's last at like west point there's some sort of kind of it's not a great story but general custer was last maybe but he was very one of those guys there's another guy besides custer that was last yeah i think they were called the goat uh yeah i can't remember where grant was i think uh we'll get yeah so no you can pipe in at any time but i think grant i remember how well grant he was i think he was a great guy i think he was yeah west point yeah uh but uh you know i encourage all of our listeners to write in because i know everyone's shouting out answers right now 21st out of 39 who grant okay and where was where was where was patent and i mean patten oswald patten oswald was first he and eisenhower have the highest ranking you just big surprises 46 out of 103 yeah so they're not in the middle i'm just saying owen what i'm trying to and i want this to be the point we'll get to your projects and your big successes we'll talk about all that and we'll get the well we still were on commonality right because we we got we're on belmont and then that somehow then we got on to eb white we're on eb white or no yeah then i had the thing about the jfk yeah jfk he did not wear a hat he did not yeah he did not wear a hat which is what a great tribute after jfk's death no no it can be said of him as a few men in a light position that he did not fear the weather but instead challenge the weather itself to get get it to blow more gently and kindly on the world and its people something like that he did not wear a hat but instead challenge the weather that's what it was it was something like that um i i was gonna move forward with something else because you in military school still strikes me as very funny and a rich subject but i will return to it and say it has that your first love and your first instinct a lot of people wouldn't know this was writing because you're a very accomplished writer you clearly read a lot and your plan was not to be an actor and it really wasn't to be one of the most notable comedic actors of a generation that was not the plan the plan was probably writing right yeah i mean well the plan was probably to go into advertising because i had a connection with my dad um but um yeah it was there's still time by the way it was i still think about like as i i do like commercials and um i i feel like yeah when you see a good commercial it sticks with you and they're rarer and rarer yeah like i like the ones that are you know you're becoming your parents yeah like i mean now they're the i mean they've mined them for a lot but some of those were really uh good yeah where they're trying to say the names of i think quinoa and somebody says joaquin yeah yeah no there that's a really good idea that yes and i just love how chatty they are with sales people and it's like i am well no i watch those and i think shit i know that's me i'm the guy going hey i'm the one chatting with the valets saying oh i bet you see some real beauty of cars huh and they're they're like what why won't this lady leave me alone yeah with the uh the writing and it was it was sort of you know meeting wes at uh at ut and then him wanting to be a director and then kind of getting me to uh write with him but it's funny when i came here today we edited bottle rocket i think next door to my house and i was like oh my lord really uh yeah so and that's the first time i met you you're not going to remember this because you've you've had many gracie films no you there's this This new, I was doing, it was early, early days of my late night show and you were coming on to promote, I didn't know who you were and you were coming on to promote this new independent film that was getting, and I went and saw it and I really liked it. They got me a screening and you came on the late night show to promote Bottle Rocket. And I was like, I like this guy. This guy's really funny. I liked the movie. It was very different and it was my, I think my first exposure to that Wes Anderson kind of vibe. Yeah. You know, where it's not ruthlessly linear, like go to thing, to thing, to thing. It takes its time and it turns and undulates in ways you wouldn't expect. And I loved it. It was great. Thank you. Yeah. It was a big day for you too, meeting me, I guess. Yeah. Owen, you still here? He just nodded off. He did. Did you see that? He did. He completely went to sleep. He did. Yeah. He just shut down. I think it was true. I think it was such a, it was so much emotion. Oh. Processing all the emotion of meeting me that day in 96. And you just shut down. No, no. Yeah. Well, I mean, it wasn't, you know. If you have nothing nice to say. You say you loved Bottle Rockets. I was like, I was a bit stuck with it. I liked it, you know. Yeah. But. You didn't like it enough. No, it's 30 years ago. I mean. It was 70 years ago. I don't know where you've been. It's 2086 right now. You know, it's funny is that you're going to military school is indirectly how you met Wes because it was a friend of yours. Wasn't it a friend of yours that you knew in military school who introduced you to Wes or is that incorrect? Yeah, that was. Um, my roommate at military school was from Houston. And so then when I went to after I didn't get into those schools I applied to, I ended up at University of Texas and he was friends with Wes from Houston. And, uh, and then that's how. Yeah, that's so cool to me that you'd think. I know. Right. If you're a creative person, if you had, you know, succeeded, quote, and gone to one of those named schools. You don't. If you don't meet Wes Anderson, and this is this thing I'm saying time and time again, it's certainly happened with me. I don't get the thing that I think is absolutely crucial for my future. I don't get it. I get knocked to the side and I'm, I'm, I think I'm screwed and that's when I bump into the opportunity that later on looks like it's much better. Oh yeah. The role that kind of luck and chance kind of play in your life and, and just sort of, you know, it's a long baseball game. You don't know how. Everything kind of fits together, which is all I tell young people because, you know, I tell, um, uh, you know, my daughter, I tell my son, I say like, look, you have no idea how young you are. Things are still unfolding. You just, you know, you take every day as it comes, but yeah, a lot of young people don't know that they think this is it. Yeah. No, it's not it. Yeah. And very, as you say, a long baseball game. Yeah. And, and right. And if you don't know the way things. You sort of have to kind of resist the urge to kind of get in and lay, oh, this is a bad thing that's happening. This is a good thing. Cause you don't know how, you know, and if, if you don't know then to try to view the whole with, uh, you know, with wonder is a better way to go. Yeah. Well, I'm just, I'm, I marvel at your creative, uh, partnership with Wes Anderson. You guys are so simpatico in this cool way. I have to tell you, Rushmore might be. If I had, I'm going to say 10 movies, Rushmore, every time I see it, it's just such an unusual, fantastic, amazing film. And what an accomplishment. I mean, that's, and that's not even mentioning Royal Tenenbaums, uh, and then, uh, you know, you've, you've also been in a bunch of Wes's movies. Yeah. I love Bill Murray and, uh, in Rushmore and that, and the relationship between him and Jason Schwartzman. Yes. Yeah. And actually the, uh, the speech that, uh, that Bill Murray, you know, when he talks about taking, my dad had a real thing against inherited wealth and against like, you know, rich kids. And, um, and so that speech that Bill Murray delivers in Rushmore, uh, get the rich kids in your crosshairs and bring them down. My dad wrote that whole thing. I don't know if you're going to jump on me for this unless does he get a credit. No, but when, but when we, but when we, when we screened it, like, I think it was at the New York film festival and, um, and you know, at the end of the movie, my dad leans over to my mom and goes, did you see that? My scene got the biggest laugh in the movie. Uh, your dad also, the biggest laugh in the movie came from actually a line that Luke had the, uh, where Jason Schwartzman says to Luke's character, like, oh, I liked that. Nurses, you know, or the OR scrubs. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was, yeah. Luke. That was Luke. But also Jason Schwartzman's delivery of that line. He's like James Bond saying, Bond, James Bond, he delivers it like, have I got the perfect ice dagger for you? You're like, that's the lamest joke you're being rude. Your dad, many people don't know cinematographer, uh, for wedding crashers and also the tr the stunt expert. I'm just making your dad key part. That's good. I like that backstory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People don't know. It was totally Zoolander. All your dad's idea. Yeah. Your dad got screwed. If you think back on it, think of a career he could have had. Yeah. You know, it's, it's funny. Well, if we were bringing up my dad, cause he's a very, you know, smart, funny guy. And I always have to do that joke that my dad, you know, he's like, you know, he's like, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. And so, yeah, there is that sort of style. And I do think kids know if their parents are kind of, you know, with my mom, you know, the way she'd try to present things, you kind of, I don't know if I quite buy that. Yeah, yeah. But, yeah. It's fascinating, like no one, you just mentioned Willie Nelson, it made me realize few people exemplify Be Yourself better than Willie because for years he didn't quite know who he was. And you see these pictures of Willie Nelson in the 50s and even into the 60s, he's wearing, at one point he's wearing like a Nehru jacket. Yeah, he looks like he could be an accountant. Yeah, and he's got beads and you see early photos and he does look like, well, I'm here to do the books. He didn't know, he was a brilliant songwriter, but it wasn't clicking and he'd, you know, he'd have some success. He wrote, he wrote crazy, but yeah, it hasn't quite still come together. And he kept trying these different guises. And then I guess he moves to Austin at one point and says, this is who I am. Man. Screw it. I don't care about trying to be anything anymore. Yeah. I'm going to grow my hair long and I'm going to sing what I want to sing. And then he becomes the most beloved country personality of all time. Yeah. And, yeah, but it is, it's almost jarring seeing those early pictures because that, you're like, that's not Willie. But, yeah. And that song. Oh, my God. Yeah, there he is. Look at him. But also there's a photo there. That's not Willie. Right? No, it doesn't look like Willie at all. We're looking now. But also there's a photo in there of him when, I mean, look at the turtleneck. He's, or he's got like a. Yeah. He's wearing it. Oh, I like, I like the one on the far left where he looks like he works at your dad's adage. I'm here to help with your son's application. Yeah. And then he becomes this other guy. Yeah. I asked him about that song, Crazy. And I said, originally it was called Stupid. And he was joking. Patsy Cline, yeah. Stupid. There's a great. There's a great. For her feet. It takes a, drains a lot of romance out. Stupid. Stupid for her feet. It's a, there's a great story about him. He writes that song and he tells it to someone. And he goes like, oh, we should get that to Patsy Cline, who was a huge star at the time. And he was like, we got to get it to her now. And they drive over to her house and he pitches it to her late at night at her house. And she goes like, that's a hit. I just wanted to take some time and talk about that story. I'm going to get back to you right now. Your publicist is jumping out a window. What are they doing? How is this moving product? You know, I, one of the things that you did that I always really loved is your, I'm just, again, out of nowhere, but your role in Night at the Museum playing off of. Steve Coogan. Steve Coogan. And also Rob, I mean, getting to be on set with Robin Williams. Yeah. He's such a, did you get to know him at all, Robin? Robin actually wasn't really on set because he, you know, all the stuff I just did all my stuff with Steve Coogan was obviously miniature, but I, they paired me for my, you know, all the press stuff I did with Robin. And so that was the easiest press junket I've ever done because you didn't have to say anything. Yeah. It literally could be that ask me a question and Robin would be. And I'd say, well, Robin, the thing about sunglasses and boom, he would go, sunglasses, whoa, whoa, whoa, chief. Yeah. And he's off and running. Yeah. Off and running. And, and I remember, yeah, somebody tried to bring up sort of something that I think that's why they wanted to pair me with Robin, just because there's some stuff that they didn't want me to have to talk about. And, and, and a reporter asked something and Robin just immediately was like, don't you? You go there. You get slapped upside your head if you go there. Yeah, yeah. So that was great. Oh, and by the way, the thing with Robin, I remember at the, and you've done one of those press junkets where you're stuck in the room. Yeah, yeah. Not a lot. It's not a big part of my thing, but every, every now and then I got to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll have like 80 people that they kind of cycle through. Yes. The way they used to do it. And so you're sitting there and you kind of give these canned answers. You kind of start to. Yeah, I'm okay. They're going to ask that. And I kind of give this joke or, you know, this story. And you always feel a little bit like a hat because the guys filming and stuff are there with you all day. So they're hearing you give these same answers and stuff. And the same joke. Same joke. Yeah. And Robin, of course, never repeated himself the whole day. And at the end of the day, those guys started clapping. It was the only time I've ever seen, you know, those guys. Which you need to know. And they're like the guys like from that, you know, that Albert Brooks movie, you know, like, I think you saved the movie, like those unions. Yes. Because they're not easily impressed by anything. And to have those guys entertained and clapping. I mean, there is a there's no more discouraging room because you basically go into a cube, a black cube, and you sit down, they put a camera on you. And then they say, you're going to talk to 35 outlets across the country today, you know, about your TV show. Right. Right. And, you know, it's coming in season two is coming up, you know, Apple TV. And you're like, OK, here we go. And then, hey, Houston, you know, hey, Salt Lake City. Hey. And you do it. And the guys in that room, they've this is all they do their whole life. I don't think they ever let them outside. So they're just about as. And if you can get one of them to laugh. Yeah. You know that you've cracked. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Robin was just such a he was super sweet to me. Always like just a mensch. Yeah. Yeah. A lovely guy. Yeah. Great guy. And into he was into cycling. Oh, no, no. Because I am. And he was into it. And then he one day found out that I was into it. So you do that for exercise. Is that like you do it for like mental health? I like to. But you're getting a workout. You get a workout. I don't go. I used to go crazier. Now I don't go as crazy on the workout part of it. You don't ever go on the PCH, do you? No, I do not. I don't get that. You know what? I did it once. I was with. I was with. I was with. When you're driving on the PCH, what are they thinking? Well, you know what? I was in a group once that was like, I'm just with them. And then they hit the PCH. And I thought it's all exhaust. First of all. Yeah. And no shoulder. There's no shoulder on the ride. And I mean, I just think, unfortunately, I've been to Amsterdam. I've been to cities that are made for people on bicycles. L.A. No. And every now and then they'll paint like a little strip and say it's the bike lane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Basically, they're just identifying an area where you're killed. Yeah. Just for convenience. Can everyone be killed on this little strip? Yeah. But I like to go mountain bike, go up in the hills. And there I think I'm not going to die. No one's going to hit me while they're texting. Yeah. I might be attacked by, you know, a coyote or a cougar. But I will probably survive the attack and have a good story. Yeah. You know. So, I mean. So, I do. I do that. Yes. But I actually, yeah, I love it. You can drive like right behind my house and within 30 seconds you feel like you're in rural China. It's just like, you know, just mountains. And it looks like the opening of MASH, you know. Yeah. Just where the helicopters are coming over. And what do you do for exercise? Like, that's. Do you have like a. I think biking is a decent thing. I also, as you can tell, I lift. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just going to wait a little bit. Yeah. I lift. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing heavy. Mostly things that are in my way. You look. I mean, you're going to think I'm like kidding, but there is a bit of a cowboy look to your face. Well, you know, it's funny. And I'm seeing like, and then it struck me even when you kind of came in like, okay. So, I have a cowboy hat. I have like a legit cowboy hat. And when I put it on, I swear to God. I'll tell you mine. Yeah, go ahead. Well, no. It's funny because I'm this Irish guy from Boston, but I put a cowboy hat on. And if you look at early pictures of John Wayne, you're going to think I'm crazy. But if you look at pictures of John Wayne when he was like in his. His thirties, he's got the same kind of face structure and eyes that I do. And when I put a cowboy hat on, it's just kind of, it's. I've had people say like, oh, you look like. I'm telling you. I mean, when I did, when I was much younger. Yeah. Yeah. For this guy who no one associates with manliness. It's kind of hilarious. I got a cowboy hat from a friend and during COVID, you know, you kind of stuck in the house and then see this hat that I'd gotten years before, never really worn. And then kind of started putting it on one day. And. You have to kind of get through that feeling of like, Hey, I'm wearing a cowboy hat, you know, and which you feel a bit self-conscious. I like to sort of blend in and, and I'd kind of put it on and stuff. And it's COVID. I bet it looks great though. And, and well, it made me feel great. And I'm sure, you know, that I felt like, yeah, I kind of look good in this. Like, this is like a good look. And I remember like, I'm going to like, I'm not going to worry about it. I'm going to start like wearing it. And I remember I got like a FaceTime call from a friend. I had the cowboy, I go, or no, I might've taken it off. Like where, why would I take it off? Like I have nothing to be embarrassed. I'm from Texas. I can do it. FaceTime. He says, hi. And he's got Sandler with him. Who I don't know that well, but like immediately I'm like, do I take it off? Or do I say why I'm wearing it? And of course, like, I can't say anything. I just got to go with it. At that point you can't take it off. If you take it off, you're admitting defeat. - Yeah. - Yeah, but, um, yeah. Yeah. I do this thing where if I put on a hat, you've seen me do this a lot, Sona. If I put on a hat of any kind, I sort of become, it's like when I said I'll mirror you a little bit at the top and be like, hey, Owen, how's it? And I'm kind of mirroring your energy. If I put a cowboy hat on, I swear to God, I do this. And I just did it the other day when I was with my wife in Aspen. She wrote this play and was getting a production there. And I walk around and I had this cowboy hat on. So everyone wears one in Aspen. And I like putting on a funny hat and walking around. And when women would walk by, I'd do the thing where I touch the brim. And I was doing that. And then I realized I was like, a dog would go by and I'd do it to the dog. But I loved it. And I just want to do that. And if I have a cloth cap, I want to act like I'm applying for a loan. I got no money. And I'll pull at the edges of it and go, you can see your way. I don't know. It's fun. Yeah. Mine is now kind of broken. And I have completely, you know, yeah, I feel comfortable wearing it. But I remember asking Jim Brooks, like, Jim, if you had to wear a cowboy hat or a beret for a year, which would you wear? And he is like, that's hard because a Jewish guy wearing a cowboy hat says deep schmuck. Yeah. Uh, he goes, but a beret. He said, I think, I don't know. The beret is really making a statement. It's not a good one. I love how much thought he gave it. It's a great question though. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you have this reputation for, uh, you love games and you love organizing challenges for people and they're creative. Is that true? I've always heard that you, like, even as a kid, you were organizing I was kind of good at sort of, yeah, coming up with the game and, you know, changing the rules to maybe suit my, uh, strong points and, uh, and just growing up in a, you know, one of three boys and just very competitive. Uh, and so still, um, yeah, I can get in, I can spend all day like, you know, let's see who can hit that telephone pole, uh, and get really into it. And then you'll start adjusting the rules. Adjusting it. Yeah. And I mean, there are, there are games where like you, you can only stand on one foot, but people do it for hours, right? Some of these games take a long time. Yeah. Is that your preferred kind of game where everyone's involved? No, no, that one sounds like, um, um, standing on one foot. I'm not familiar with that. I made it up. I made it up. There was a game tip horse that was kind of a combination of horse. And, uh, one-on-one basketball. And I think that was a really great game that could, uh, catch on because when I've, when I've shown it to other people, they're like, this is a great game. Can you just tell me the basics of it? How does it work? It's playing horse, except if you miss your shot, I can tip it in, you know, my feet have to be off the ground and you can defend your tip, you know? So suddenly it becomes an instant one-on-one. Yes. That's pretty quick. Instant because you can't be on the ground. So, it's like you could miss your shot and I go in the air and then you try to block it. And then you, and then I, you could get that tip and go in, but it's just kind of a more athletic version of horse. I remember we would play stick ball in my neighborhood, which sounds like I was grew up in the twenties, but we did. It was, if you, if you, uh, my brother Luke would, you know, spray paint this like perfect pitch zone and you get a thin bat and use a tennis ball. And then you'd have all these rules. Like if it hits that tree, that's a single, if it hits, um, you know, that, uh, person in a wheelchair, it's a double. You're just making these random rules, but you really get into it. And then of course I wasted everyone's time by coming up with who my character was and making long speeches about my guy did time in prison, but he's out now and this is his chance to redeem. And people hated me as they do now. But I understand, I understand where that comes from. I really do. Yeah. We would have BB gun, wars and Roman candle wars and, you know, just passing the time. No one really talks about passing the time anymore, but you know what I mean? It's such a nice, like, oh, I'm just going to pass the time. And this is a nice way to pass the time. We're also obsessed with maximizing, like I got our phone and I accomplished this and I did that. I mean, that is something they say with kids that you kind of, you know, you gotta let them be bored a bit and kind of come up with stuff. And now there's this sort of panic. Oh my gosh, they're bored. We, we gotta figure out something for them to do. And it's like, no, let them be bored. Let them figure something out. Yeah. Um, boredom is a great thing. It's where all the creativity comes, I think. Yeah. Uh, but, um, yeah, I mean, yeah, we got a lot of stuff from, uh, you know, these Roman candle wars and BB gun wars. I don't know how we're now thinking about like fire fireworks to each other. Yeah. Yeah. Roman candles. And, uh, um, yeah. And did you mention this in your application? Um, no skills. I can fire a rocket at you. Dartmouth thinks no, not the kind of boy we're looking for. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but, um, yeah, there was a, uh, I feel like that was in one of our movies. There was sort of in Roman candle. It was every man for himself. And this guy, a friend, Max, who joined in, thought, that we were on the same team. And I'm like, there are no teams in Roman candle war is he got hit in the back of the head where his hair kind of caught on fire. And, um, and, um, yeah, I had to get a haircut to kind of make it look, you know, not so crazy, but, um, yeah. So he, when he realized that there were no teams. And then Andrew has a BB in his hand from, uh, yeah, that we showed in the Royal Tenenbaum. Yeah. Yeah. And that's from, um, you can push it around. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, from where he got shot, but, um, I don't know, maybe we better move off. No, I think it's good to encourage people. You've got fireworks or BBs and I've already told him if you're on a desert Island by yourself. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to put all these trigger alerts in front of this podcast. Uh, let's talk about stick because you're coming back with season two and I envy you because Tim Oliphant. He's a great, he's a friend of mine. He's also a thorn in my side. Uh, he enrages me because he's the best looking guy in the world. And he's also incredibly funny, which really always felt to me like, no, my, my humor is my consolation prize. Right. Why do you, and I would just assume that like that. Okay. And then this guy comes along who is like leading man, good looking and really, really funny and quick. So I'm thrilled. He's part of stick now. Yeah. And, and, um, I mean, he was great for his character, Clark Ross, and he kind of, um, excuse me, he has a bigger role in, uh, season two, but, um, yeah, I kind of felt like you, it's just some people you just kind of hit it off with. And, um, you know, he was just a guy just kind of instantly got along with. And then in season two, kind of he and Mark Marin were together a lot and, uh, hearing those guys kind of bicker and, uh, yeah, no one bickers like Mark, Mark. Mark has always got, I love Mark, but he's known him forever, but he's, he's, uh, he's got complaints on that. Tim talks too much. I'm like, Mark, you talk a lot too. Sometimes, you know, it amazes me about Tim Oliphant is that I've never seen him get rattled. And I think about if he was in Pompeii today and Vesuvius went off again and people were screaming and running cause lava and ash and noxious clouds of gas are floating down. Tim would be like, sauntering around maybe one hand on the side of his torso, looking around, like making kind of comments about that guy just got ash, you know, but it's true. And, and I, and I never saw him get sort of impatient or, you know, you know, people always think of me as kind of laid back, but I do, I can't, I, you know, I do have a little bit of a temper sometimes. Yeah. And I can get kind of, um, you know, irritable. And stuff. And, uh, never that guy, uh, Tim, you never see him and you can't quite imagine it. I think he's always just what you just, you know, we're doing that kind of, um, yeah, that's his kind of demeanor. Yeah. On Deadwood, he had this incredible intensity, but, um, right. Cause he kind of early on played, you know, guys are kind of like really troubled menace, but the real Tim is someone who, whenever I see him, I just start chuckling. Cause I'm like, this guy is just, he's got it figured out on some cosmic level. He's like, uh, you know, I don't think. And he's from a family of three boys and, and usually there's sort of kind of that, you know, that shared kind of Lord of the flies kind of energy, but he doesn't have that. He kind of escaped that. Uh, he doesn't, you know, uh, he's not crazy kind of competitive and stuff. Although there was a Gallagher, um, machine on, uh, on set that we all, we all three got into playing a lot. What is it? I don't know what that is. it's like asteroids or defender oh like a classic old game old game yeah and um yeah and mark maron was the best at it and he's competitive and it was fine that's i guess that's kind of what i like about uh games and stuff is that you know that most of us are kind of you know when we get to be adults it's all you're doing so i like games because you kind of then break through that to kind of see okay let's see what this guy's really about a lot of i mean you see with conan it's like i'm gonna take this bike and i'm right where it's like all of a sudden that goes down the window you see kind of okay this is the real person that lived down the street this isn't this bs version that i'm getting and so with mark you kind of see okay yeah you like to act like you're kind of above it you really want to win at this that's hilarious because famously golf is a who you really are people say golf will reveal your true nature yeah and there's a bunch of games like that but you're absolutely right like uh again though i in most sporting situations any kind of competition you start to kind of see yeah kind of how i see who that guy is yeah yeah it starts to kind of come out and um in in yeah and you know good ways and bad ways um but yeah i also envy you uh working with uh judy greer who i think we all have crushes on every guy has a crush on judy greer she's great uh she was here once and i you know hearts were flying out of my head just love that i love her i know she's a big reader because she kind of was always and knitting um and uh but yeah she sent me uh um a couple books and she always has great recommendations but yeah i mean we were just kind of lucky with um you know with that cast um you know everyone you know pretty good and also i'm just going to mention you got a a movie yes rolling loud and that's no no problem and that's um this music festival that uh they put on that's uh do you guys know it you guys know and it's rap it's rap and um and so the idea of this movie is i've taken my kid and his mom uh says absolutely not you're not going to rolling loud and uh and then we go and i lose them uh but at the concert but uh my kids are really into rolling loud and and rolling loud came to los angeles and we went to go see and rap is very different from uh you know i remember it from how i remember it and so when i when i went to go see the rolling loud and i mean it's intense kind of yeah this playboy cardi uh that we saw and even travis scott when uh he's in the movie but kind of seeing him in miami you know fire coming up and it's like intense uh energy kind of the rap that you and i because i think we're similar vintage yeah yeah the rap that you and i were no yeah yeah the rap that you and i used to perform that's not where i'm going with this but when i first heard rap it was all that my name's blank and i'm here to say i'm going to bring rap to the usa you know and it's like early 80s rap had this kind of plodding you know and then uh you know run dmc was like slightly accelerated beyond that but you listen to it now and it is uh you know it seems to be metal meeting rap and sort of a similar kind of uh but yeah um so um i love us talking about rap my favorite this is the best part of the conversation i feel like i'm not even saying the word right and it's like how else can you say it but i feel like even even when i'm saying it i say when you and i say rap it's not good well i the thing about uh the movie rolling loud the when i was checking it out i was like oh i've had this experience many times because my daughter one of the ways we connect is we go to she says like oh i really like to go to the outside land so i go with her go to where outside lands or i mean we've been to those music festivals we did coachella we go to these and it's really fun because that's where i will put on a cowboy hat and walk around you know just to i think i'm blending in and then people are like why is big bird wearing a cowboy hat yeah i don't blend in never no i know my hat says i am conan o'brien um and then uh well i'm gonna wrap it up i i'm always super quick yeah yeah yeah i'm happy to talk to you longer yeah it's very nice have we ever chatted about the killer angels the book killer angels do you know that book no oh man okay i'm gonna get you this book and you're gonna read it it's the book that changed my life it's the best uh historical fiction i've ever read it's one book uh and it was written by an author named shara who passed away shortly after he wrote it and it's about gettysburg and it's poetic and beautiful and i'm gonna get it for you okay great killer angels and okay i read this book in like 1985 this will sound we better get back on rap after i say this but i was talking about the civil war last night at dinner yeah and that joshua the civil war started as a rap battle that got out of hand it was grant and lee both rapping and then it got out of hand and millions died but you know that joshua chamberlain yeah the guy yeah that's the guy okay so he kind of joshua chamberlain is the hero of the killer angels okay yeah he's a great character from history you i can't believe you haven't read this book yeah okay great um you're gonna read this book and then i'm getting you into dartmouth by the way i'm still sort of when i meet somebody you know that went to an ivy league school it i always am impressed you shouldn't be you know but i but i can't help it and if i meet someone i i can't help because i've got my dad in me of like i should befriend this person because you never know now with my boys coming up if i could you know have like a little bit of a connection here yeah yeah yeah hey you'd want to lay low with my connection we know conan o'brien oh really it's military school for you owen wilson uh just a crazy joy every time i get to talk to you thanks so much for having me that was great we're taking voicemails again nice it's been a while it's been a long time the system went down we couldn't figure it out the system went back it's don't worry about it yeah that means it go down just no one called us no one called are you sure no one called even this one i just started cold calling people do you have a question for conan yeah hey conan this is uh mark from calling from tyson corner virginia often known as the clay virginia um so i actually have a question in the survey i want to pose to you and the room sona max blay eduardo adam sacks anyone in the room really david hopping nice this is a theory i have essentially comes down to this my theory is this that uh you know if you love it that if you love a certain character whether you're animated or not that you essentially are likely to become that character and uh i think for some career from listening to the podcast that uh so over time it's more and more likely that you are becoming mr burns yeah i love the anachronistic references to many things that uh i have to google afterwards or in the moment anyone in the room wants to weigh in on this please please do and there you go right well mark i think you hit the nail on the head um when i was a simpsons writer all i wanted to do was write for mr burns uh and i wasn't the only writer who found him fascinating but um yes uh i i do think that um very much so i'm becoming mr burns not just in that i am evil and obsessed with things that happened in my boyhood in the late 17th century but um yeah his his total lack of sentimentality and uh his um his desire to destroy everyone around him those are all things that i i think i inhabit and so yeah is sona your smithers i think david is smithers david david is smithers you're my you're my homer oh come on i don't want to be homer yeah no it's a good and i'm always forgetting good yeah yeah it's a good thing to be home and also whenever you do something i'm like who is this sona i like the cut of her gym and and then someone else reminds me but wait a minute you've gone to armenia with her yeah she went with you to morocco uh you once smashed her car yeah uh you know whatever they list the 750 000 times that you and i have had adventures together and i go yes no it doesn't ring a bell yeah um so yeah i think that's your flanders oh my god totally totally you are you are very flanders-esque you are very flanders well yes flanders homer huh yeah i'm i'm burns and of course david hopping is definitely who would eduardo yeah i'm trying to think mo what's that who who would eduardo be i was saying mo who's cool no he's not no he's anybody cool i don't think there's anyone that lines up with eduardo he's because here's the problem he's just he's super cool and chill and centered and uh he doesn't he he's not a terrible caricature of a human being which the rest of us are yeah oh adam could be lyle lang from your monorail yes yes he's just a business and then i mean obviously blay is barney yes i think you thought that too blay is barney no that's fantastic yeah but he yeah i think blay because blay's just like a fun guy oh and jeff ross is marge uh i wouldn't do it if i were you oh i don't think it's a good idea oh conan oh i'd be lisa i'd be lisa oh you would oh wait a minute you would be bart even no he's more lisa art is more maniacal no no he's more of a lisa homer can i be someone else you are so homer you're obsessed with donuts look if i do i do love donuts homers one up from ned flanders no flanders has the shit together not in a good way no no no yeah you would rather be homer yes yes than flanders absolutely i would way rather homer's the star you should be so happy with being homer he's so dumb sometimes yes of course also homer has no control over his appetites in every field that's me it's you are homer you know yeah okay but you know you're so you're mr burns i'm mr burns and very proud to be mr burns i have a hyperbaric chamber i i have a massive estate with closing gates when uh when children are starting to leave the house i say release the hounds i i the couple times i've had a mustache i have immediately shaved it because i look like ned fucking flanders yeah it's it's a real shame because theoretically i'd love to have a mustache but it's just not happening oh yeah yeah i bet i bet you don't this was a great this was a great question because everyone it was very apparent who everyone was very quickly and uh and it's perfect yeah i think so i mean i think that that just goes to show how cool the simpsons is right i don't know sure yeah let's give them a plug okay i'm sorry the simpsons on fox tune in yeah uh fantastic great question mark thank you so much conan o'brien needs a friend with conan o'brien sonam of sessian and matt gorley produced by me matt gorley executive produced by adam sacks jeff ross and nick leo theme song by the white stripes incidental music by jimmy vivino take it away jimmy our supervising producer is aaron blair and our associate talent producer is jennifer samples engineering and mixing by eduardo perez and brendan burns additional production support by mars melnick talent booking by paula davis gina batista and brit khan you can rate and review this show on apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode got a question for conan call the team coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message it too could be featured on a future episode you can also get three free months of sirius xm when you sign up at siriusxm.com slash conan and if you haven't already please subscribe to conan o'brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded