“Overclocked: Clock Clock Clock” (w/ George Civeris + Sam Taggart)

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And then you said, I likely don't remember from being wine drunk. Because we were. Excuse me. Is it a crime to be wine drunk at your. It's not innocent. Innocent. Innocent? Matt, innocent? Print the shirts. This is an ear hit test. Ready? Matt, you were wine drunk versus Matt, you were drunk. Wine drunk sounds sweeter, more wholesome, more fun. Sounds like more like inoffensive. That's what I'm saying. Well, there's layers of misogyny. Thank God. Towards wine moms? Yes. Have you not seen the yelling blonde woman? You'll have to be more specific. She says, she says, no more IDF money in politics. Oh, oh, oh, oh my gosh. Because she's had it. She has had it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She said, and I agree, that the title wine mom is a bit misogynist. Are you talking about Jennifer Welch? Yes, yes. Okay, great, great, great. Now, now, now go. Now go. And she said. Because there was notes of misogyny in that. She says, first of all, mentioning wine, notes of misogyny off the bat. Even ordering a wine. And the misogyny's in the legs, too. Misogyny's in the legs. Look at the legs on her. Uh-oh. So wine, she said, you know, she's being called a wine mom. That's misogynistic. But then she also said the following, which I found very interesting. She said, but even though I know it's misogynistic, I think me pointing that out only alienates people because it makes them think they can't, like, say anything. You know, it sort of is promoting this kind of, like, language policing. So she says, I know it's misogynistic, but it's okay. I'm not going to correct you. That's what that's right. That's dark woke. That's dark woke. Let this one slide. Dark woke. That's dark woke. Y'all dark woke? We're dark woke. Yeah, y'all dark woke. Hey, y'all dark woke. The four of us are very like that with gay. Totally. It's like that. We know it's homophobic, but we're not going to police. Let it slide. Let it slide. Grow up. Grow up. The way they drag our girl, Buttigieg, the way that they're out there dragging our president, we just let it slide. But know that in our group, we all just, in parentheses, type to each other, holding y'all's hands today. Do you think if Buttigieg was on I've Had It, the podcast, is it she has had it? He would do amazingly well. It's I've Had It. I've Had It. And you called her the screaming blonde woman, which is its own note of misogyny. I think that's more of a literal description. Which I wasn't willing to let slide. I just want to say I'm on board with her. I'm deeply on board with her. Her voice is always at a pretty reasonable level. Now, here's my challenge to her. What if the other co-host speaks? Now, that's a really great point. That would be really interesting. I was noticing that. I was like, you do lead the charge. It's Princess Aisha. Yeah. It's that Dubai girl who is just talking. And then it always cuts to her friend who just is silent. My greatest fear as a podcaster is that our podcast will be George talking to me going, mmm. Sort of Sophia Grace and Rosie Coder. Whereas that's me at the Eagle Bear Night of Sam just talking and me going, mmm. Yeah, you don't do well at Bear Night, George. Shut up. Oh, please. Shut the fuck up. Get his ass, finally. Wait, what were you saying? Go back to what you were saying. What happened at dinner? What does Matt not remember while he was blackout? He was wine black. He was wine black. He was wine blackout. The throw neck challenge is basically to see who can just do the best sort of like pantomime of oral sex. Whoa. I realized that my pantomime, this is not the way it usually goes when I'm out here performing the act, but my pantomime is a lot in the shoulders. Would you like to see me throw it? Yes. Yes, I think everyone would. I'm so happy this is being filmed. And this is important for podcasts being a visual medium. Exactly. Because you'd never get this back in the day in 2016, 2017. No, God, no. Here we go. Oh. Oh. Well this is interesting It's kind of just like It's kind of just like A Beyonce like Well yeah She was the best She was What happened to her? She was great Miss her I do No Okay Should we all go around? Well she's back Actually you find out That it's on this episode She announces Act 3 And we're the ones We've been assigned She was like Signed the official spokespeople Announcing Act 3 On Let's Go Teresa No but that wasn't Good throwing neck I was trying to perform For you guys Well you're doing comedic You're doing comedic The throw neck challenge Can be any interpretation Of throwing neck Sam why don't you Show your throwing neck Show your throwing neck I'll go Yeah thank you Thank you That was more of a Crazy jack off Well that's what we were Doing at the table I have a crazy jack off One that I think is funny Okay go ahead This is what I This is what I say it is When you're trying to When you're begging for a cum You go You go The lips It's in the lips It's very disgusting I'm not hearing I'm not hearing The begging No because it goes Give me your cum You guys get it Yes I get it I have picked up on Being Being the Being the Grape stop lady Yeah yeah Well yes of course I think that's where All these gay guys Got the idea With grape stop lady They all watch Grape stop lady And they're like I'm taking that To the bedroom Okay George Go ahead Throw a neck for us All right That really Painted a picture I saw the terror No and I I wanted to do It's like You know It's like Scared Yeah Scared No that's a big part Of giving oral sex I think people Don't talk about it To be clear That wasn't me Giving oral sex That was my impression Of someone who's a loser Giving oral sex That was very Like you could see That they were standing Yeah yeah That was interesting That was interesting I was thinking about The rest of the scene Unlike some people Who are more Just sort of like Doing Doing Beyonce I was just trying To show Beyonce That I'm available For her act three World tour Because I can stand On the back And sort of So is act three Like rock and roll Yes That's what the buzz is The rumor It should be like Linkin Park type That would be fun Evanescence It should be evanescence She should actually Do evanescence I would love that That's rock and roll Period That's rock and roll The toss of the head Like he was like A best week ever Talking head And that's rock and roll And that's rock and roll The four of us Would all be doing Best week ever I know Can you imagine I'm still waiting For the call by the way Oh man I'm ready You know Sam Well Should we get into it Go Oh one time We were asked to do What was it It was a reboot Of like celebrity Oh like the rich And the fabulous Lifestyles of the rich And the famous Yeah basically But it was like A real like It was like a pilot Like where they were like We're giving you zero dollars And we are actually doing it Not to like critique The celebrities But actually like Celebrate Celebrate wealth And we were like Incredible We were like Where do I sign Oh yeah We were like So this doesn't sound Like particularly good Like if we're not like It's not like an amazing time You're not dragging them And just being like I We all remember where we were When we find out How rich Kylie Jenner was And can I say Honey we love it Go off Sam Altman It was It was It was basically that It was that Yeah but then ironically Speaking of income inequality We were being offered Approximately $150 total Yeah Total Total And now look And now look And then they yelled at us Well we yelled at them too Well as long as it's mutual Yeah well there has to be A little So was full blown yelling Or was it passive aggressive Let's just say we were On a conference call And I hung up This has never happened In our lives ever How did you feel right after I felt amazing I felt electric Wait did this happen Or did you No this really happened This is amazing Oh I'm so I'm so proud to know you Honestly I channeled My inner Jennifer Welch I said You went at it This is not What the future Of the Democratic Party Is going to look like No Me and Sam Being paid $150 To celebrate Kylie Jenner And I just go Mmm You are being the girl I was being the girl You're being the girl These are the girls They're doing their show At the Bell House tonight On the Yeah we never introduced them Yeah it's tonight And it's sold out So you guys please Spread the word This is coming out On the 16th On the This is coming out On the 17th This is coming out Next week This is coming out Next week Their show was great Sam Taggart's doing An hour at Union Hall all on March 18th, LA March 24th, - April 4th, April 1st. - I can't believe you just remember that stuff. - He remembers all kinds of things. - How do you do that? ♪ How do you do it ♪ - That's, who sings that song? - Sounds like FKA Twigs. - No, how do you do it? - Just where? - No. - Empress Of. - Empress Of. - You're getting your girls confused. - I love Empress Of. - You know I've seen her live three times? - Yeah. - Empress Of? - Yes. - Empress Of. - One year, her song was my number one on Spotify. - Really? - Yeah. - That year was this? - Okay. - This was the Blood Orange. It was Blood Orange featuring Empress Of. - Yes, you know what I'm talking about. - ♪ Oh, this would be the best to you ♪ - Yes. - Great, great. - Oh man, I miss. - Lorelei is her name. - Lorelei Rodriguez. - Lorelei Rodriguez. - You guys are like fact offering. - About women. - Yeah. - Jennifer Welch. Welch? - Welch. - Welch, I knew that. - We met them. - We met them at the Blood Awards. - We met them. - They were lovely. - They're great. - Well, obviously. - You're so afraid I'm gonna say something negative about them. - No. - No, no, no, but that's why we brought you guys in. To say everything we can. Before we just go. - Yeah. - They host, frankly, the superior podcast, Radio Lab. The crown jewel. - To who? Superior to who? - Tell me. - Speak for yourself. I'm over here carrying still. - Carrying still. We're gonna go, we're gonna say, we're gonna go by alphabetical last and first names, frankly. Everyone, please welcome. - George Tavares and Sam Taggart. - Wow, what an honor and a pleasure to be back. - Go ahead, the podcast has started, it has begun. - It's begun. - Yeah, I just wanted to say I have a special out. - George has his special out. - You all knew about it. - And it's on Amazon and Apple and it's called A Sense of Urgency. - It's really good. - Thank you. - It's actually exemplary. - I'm on Instagram. - How proud did you feel? And try not to cry when you saw the special. - I said, God, this is a beautiful special. - Yeah. - No, it was really impressive. - Beautiful man doing it, too. - Beautiful man, gorgeous, stunning. You know, a whole hour is not easy. - Not easy. - And to make it funny the whole time? - We filmed it over 15 months. And I did one minute at a time and then we switched it all together. - Very Quibi. - That's very Linklater. - Very Quibi. - Yes, very Linklater. - Quibi Linklater. - Quibi Linklater. - Quibi Linklater. - That's Quibi Linklater. - They're always teaming up. - Quibi Linklater, title of episode. - Yep, yep. - Craziest shit I've ever heard. - Epic collab. - I was gonna say the boys throw neck. Could be. But how often are you, you guys are both in. - How often are you guys throwing neck? - You're both married, huh? - You're both married up. Like straight up wedded. So how much do you throw neck? - Don't, no, don't tell me don't. Don't tell me don't. - A plenty. This is not a question you can ask constantly. - He said a plenty. - How often are we throwing neck? This is insane. - You can't ask. - This is insane. - I'm sorry, I didn't know the pearls were available to clock. - Oh. - What's the hardest part of stand up? The standing or the upping? - Wouldn't you rather just lay down and throw neck? - I don't know what you guys are trying to do to us. - What's better? - Sucking cock or standing up? - I don't know what Reddit comment said that you guys aren't alt enough anymore. And so you're trying to out alt us. - No one ever said that. Who's saying this? - Oh my God. - We are a family friendly podcast for only married white gay guys. - Family friendly podcast. - We have Jesse Tyler Ferguson on. - We had Jesse Tyler Ferguson on. - Have you guys had Jesse Tyler Ferguson on? Don't answer. - We really feel like you guys kind of ran the whole gamut of gay guy between Perfume Genius and Jesse Tyler Ferguson. - Thank you for acknowledging that. Because those came out in a row and we said one end is, and I say this with respect to both of them. - Oh yeah, absolutely. - One end is Perfume Genius, one end is Jesse Tyler Ferguson. And right in the middle, Jordan Sam. - Listen, I think what people are forgetting to say is that being a gay guy is a cornucopia. And we all need all different fruits, vegetables, and that beautiful-- - Sort of horn. - Yes, that's what it is, right? A horn? - The horn of plenty. - Yeah. - What's going on on your phone? - I'm just getting a FaceTime. I'm getting a FaceTime video call from Jared Freider. - FaceTime from George Santos? - You guys should have him on. - I agree. - 100%. You guys would tear it up. - I mean, no. - No? - We can't have him on. - I think you guys could 'cause you're scared you'll be charmed. - No, 'cause we're scared we'll throw neck with him. - Oh. - You guys-- - Which Republican do you guys think is the hottest, go. - Which Republican do I think is the hottest? - And you can't say Lindsey Graham. - No, and I wouldn't. - Can't. - I do think of ladybugs a lot. You know the lore of the ladybugs. - Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. - Oh. - Gosh. - Hottest Republican? I mean-- - What's the lore of the ladybugs? - Back when Lady G was a thing. - Oh. - Yeah, wait, but explain, I don't-- - And ladybugs are his-- - Ladybugs, the ladybug phrase refers to a rumor that was, when it first was rumored that Lady G was a thing, AKA Lindsey Graham being on the gay apps and everything, ladybugs referred to a series of beauty marks or birthmarks around Lindsey Graham's, I'm so sorry to say it, but hole. - Oh. - And he would say-- - That is not what I thought. - He would say to the gay men that he'd have sex with, don't mind my ladybug. - No, we have different news sources, but I like yours better. - I like yours better. - What's your-- - Where did you think ladybugs came from? - I read that on Al Jazeera, by the way. - I work for Al Jazeera. - I was just sort of like-- - You do warm up comedy for their main late night show. - So what you gonna see tonight? - You just heard ladybugs as-- - I was just sort of, I thought it was like, maybe his boys or something. - That's what I thought, yeah, his ladybugs. - No, no. - Don't mind my ladybugs. - He had lady-- - At least he's proud, at least he's-- - Allegedly. - It's so realistic, it's so believable, it's so tough. - I don't think anyone out here is like, oh yeah, that's just a rumor about Lindsey Graham. I think everyone knows he's gay. - Yes. - But the ladybug story feels very Sex and the City. - Yeah, it's a bit too punchy. - It's a bit too punchy. Yeah, it's a little bit, remember the, we all remember the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda was dating a guy who wanted him, who wanted her to eat his ass. - Didn't we do that for "Broad Gay"? - I think we did. - We did do that for "Broad Gay". But then that shot is so funny because the guy just kept hiking his butt up into the frame in a really funny way. - Well, and then Carrie has a great line, which was, so the reason they were dating is because they had bonded through food or something. - Weight Watchers? - Miranda dated an overeater, and then he overate her! - Oh my God. - I don't know, Carrie. - I don't, like again, and I remember, I'll never forget too, it was one of the few times-- - This is my impression of Michael Patrick King after he wrote that. - Yes. - One of the first times that Carrie made a joke like that, and then, whether it was Sarah Jessica Parker and they just used it, or Carrie herself, laughed so hard at her own joke. - Yeah. - She was like, and then he overate her, and she went, and then they just cut to the rest of the scene. And I was like, I would love to know how that felt on set. - I bet it was so fun. - Yeah, it was incredible. - You know what came up on my internet the other day was Chris Noth sat down for some interview with someone just like going off on SJP or whatever. - Recently? - Yeah. - Recently, and then I just peeked at the comments, don't know why, I thought it would be a good idea, but it was all these people, and I guess women, but maybe bots just being like, or women bots, sorry. - And thank you, bots can be women. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wine bots, let's just say. - His bots is women too. - All of them being like, so glad he's telling his side of the story, cancel culture is terrible, we shouldn't be damning these people, and I was like, no, it's not that we canceled him, it's that five different people came, like came forward with sexual assault allegations, and you're like, this is where we're at. Anyway, not to bring the whole room down, but. - Yeah, so what do you think about me too? - It just feels so, like we haven't done enough. - Totally. - Totally. - I think it's gone too far, and that's a dialogue. - I think cancel culture is back, and better than ever. - You know it is back, but only on threads. - I am not on threads, and I've heard threads is the absolute demon's lair. There's no sense of community on threads. It's not like how Twitter was fun back in the day. - No, it's like, they are doing, I was saying this to Sam the other day, they're doing like cancel culture, like a cancel culture drag show. No one's heart is in it, but they're sort of like, okay, who are we gonna do today? - Totally, totally. - You know, let's do that, that kid from Glee, like just, they pick a random person, they're like, look what he said in 2015, and then that's what happens every day. - But it's like a shortening of the cycle, but I just hate the fucking thing. So on threads, you can like, people can like invisible ink, their own words, and I'm not sure for what purpose, other than like you have to engage on another level, and it's like, you're not being like provocative or even that fun with like what you're-- - It really feels like late stage social media. - Oh yeah, no, absolutely. - Damn. - How many more years of social media do you think we have? - I'm like three. - I think we're overclocked. I think we're overclocked. I think everyone's clocked each other's tea so hard on social media that we're overclocked. Maybe that's the title of that, overclocked. - Overclocked. - Okay, sips tea, this is overclocked. - I hate getting tea at Starbucks. They always overclock it. - Hey, and I know you in particular love to clock my tea. - I do love to clock your tea. Actually, I was thinking something. I was clocking your tea on my way here. I said, this is gonna be the first event with Matt where he's not crying in approximately six months. - Oh my God, you clocked my tea. - You overclocked his tea. - 'Cause I cried the other night at Ars Nova. I cried at his wedding. - You cried at Joel's wedding. - I cried at Joel's wedding. I cry at everything. Clocking my friends crying. I'm on Lexapro again and I've cried so much already this year. Yeah, my SSRIs aren't doing anything. I'm still crying. I'm more emotional than I used to be. No, see, here's the thing. Oh, they're making you cry more. No, no, no. They're making me cry like a reasonable amount where it used to be unreasonable. Oh. Of course I knew on my way to your wedding. I was like, I'm going to cry. You were so sweet at Joel's wedding because it was like there should have been a camera just on you. Yeah, a Mac cam. It's like the emotional journey rather than seeing the two men get married, just seeing your reaction. No, and trust me, I know that that is at risk for what happened because when I'm crying, I'm usually kind of the only one or I'll start. And then I'll be like, well, now I'm crying and it's like a thing. And also we were in this wedding, so we were in the front row, so we're getting the pictures back. And it's like everyone looking at like Joel and JM like, wow. And it's me just like head in hands like I'm like processing a grief in real time. Yeah. It's awesome. It's inspirational, though. Yeah, I agree. I'm jealous of it. To prop up erstwhile king, Dan Cook had a pretty good stand up joke where he it's like you it's like you cry and you like go immediately to the mirror. Yeah. You're like, I have to watch. Oh, my God. I love when I cry. I do do the like take out my phone and like try to take a picture. Yeah. I'm like, I'm really doing it. I'm having a feeling. Yeah. That's called going Rachel Senate mode. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. But yeah, no, I be crying. I only cry like in movies. I'm like, I'm like, I haven't cried in real life in so long. Did you cry at your own wedding? I teared up. But I was also like, you know, when you're I did I did tear up, but I was also I held it together. And I specifically like rehearsed my vows enough times where I was like, I can do this. Yeah. And you're on display. It's like you just don't want to you feel comfortable crying in a movie because no one's exactly overclocking you. Yeah. No one's overclocking. Yeah. Did you cry at yours? I teared up. Yeah. Yeah. I think we both teared up in equal. Yeah. Very tasteful amounts of tears. And we were thinking about each other, not about our husbands. Yeah. And we were just thinking about like the photos coming back. The one that got away. You're just thinking, I wish this was my podcast partner. I know. And I wish I heart was officiating. Yeah. I wish the CEO of I heart was officiating my wedding instead of my stupid aunt. She was iconic. She ate. She was amazing. She ate. She absolutely ate. Very stylish. I was just texting her because we're doing Greek Easter together. And I'm like, best decision we ever made getting her. To officiate. Yes. Yeah. Are you guys at that stage now where people, uh, like even your guests, let's say, are asking you like, you guys ever hook up? It's like about us because each other, this is a thing that we have been dealing with. They've been doing it more for us lately. Really? Like, I don't know what it is, but like, I feel like we've been asked in the last year, probably about five or six times in like a public way. So what have you, what's going on? Have you guys ever kissed or like, what's, what's happening here? We're like, interesting. And they're like, really? I thought all gay guys were like, yeah. All gay guys. And like, that's not what they're saying, but that's like the implicit. Your guests are saying this. Well, there's a lot of hints of misogyny. I'm being like, come on, give a kiss. No, like J-Lo asked us. J-Lo asked us. Really? Yes, yes, yes. That's funny. I've had so many dreams about J-Lo that I feel like legitimately, she's like a recurrent, I don't even remember, but she's like a recurring character in my dreams. Like, it'll just be like, I'm looking for a roommate and it's J-Lo. Or like, I'm like going to like a coffee shop and she's there. Well, having met her, we actually were so close. That's what we were saying. We think that she would be really close with George. You would get along great with our friend, George. Yeah. You would get along great. What about their personalities would link up? Yeah. They're both very grounded. Multi-talented. Driven. Driven. Oh. Great taste in film. Great, amazing, like cinephiles. Yeah. It's so nice. You know, love's a celebration. No, legit. Both her and I love New Year's Eve. I will say that. Time for some prep wisdom. But first, some common sense, people. Everyone is different. Every one. Yes, even you. Yes, even your situationship. Especially your situationship. And just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same. That's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask. So here's some prep wisdom. Did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Also, why you want to take it matters. Your lifestyle matters. Your routine. Your chaos level. Your I-might-forget-my-own-birthday energy. All of it counts. Basically. Basically, talk to your doctor. Have the conversation. Ask the questions. Be a little nosy about your own health. It's allowed. Encouraged, even. Okay. Did you write all that down? No? Don't worry. Just head to getprepwisdom.com to learn what to ask your doctor. That's getprepwisdom.com. You probably think dressing well takes lots of money. Or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores. Well, not to be rude, but you're wrong. So dead wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you. Because now we get to tell you about deep. You can find the fashion you love for less on Depop. And it doesn't matter what you're into. Leopard print? They've got it. Not into leopard print? First of all, why? But fine. They've got that too. Not leopard print. Basically, whatever your particular fashion situation is, Depop has entered the chat. We're talking over 600,000 daily listings, including celebrity and stylist shop drops. That's a lot of listings. And somehow it gets better. You can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money. Then use that money to buy things you do want to wear. It's a circle, like the circle of life, but for fashion. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, samesies. Depop fashion, if it made sense. Depop, love you. Hey, Bowen, is it just me or does it feel like nothing is actually what it says it is anymore? Yeah, like when you order chicken fingers, you don't get fingers. You get mystery nuggets. Exactly. Well. Except Hotels.com. I was going to say. Yeah. Hotels.com, because they do hotels. Refreshing. And when booked as a member, rewards are earned every stay. Not points that disappear. Rewards that work like cash and can actually be used. So the name checks out and the perks do too. Yep. Members can get up to 20% off tons of hotels with no blackout dates. Just works with real travel. Okay. That tracks. Hotels.com. It's all in the name. Okay. We've been talking about QB Mail for a minute now, Bow. And wow, the feedback we're getting. I mean. I mean, so many of y'all love this stuff. You're stopping us in the street going, I love QB. And if you're thinking, wait, what is QB? Uh, do you not have the internet? It's the OG Japanese mayonnaise. The one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. Once you know it, you start seeing it everywhere. People ask what makes it different from basic mayo. Well, the answer, egg yolks. QB is made with egg yolks only. Giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything. Burgers. Fries. Sandwiches. Chicken. Noodles. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. People who really love food and flavor use it. Whatever you're eating, QB it. So if you haven't tried QB yet, find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. QB, the original Japanese mayonnaise. She performed in Vegas in New Year's Eve. That's how much she loved it. Wow. She said, I want to give and give and give. Mixing business with pleasure. That's tough. That's tough. Sometimes it's really hard. And gambling. Sometimes it's really, really hard. Yeah. It's really, really hard. What was your favorite New Year's? What was my favorite New Year's ever? Sam and I had a good one. You and I had multiple ones. But Maggie Winters was here a couple weeks ago. Our Chicago one. Our Chicago one was crazy. That was so crazy. 2013. I was a bad girl that night. You were bad. Well, we all were. But that's the only New Year's I've had where I'm out of New Year's. I'm out of New Year's. embracing it taking it more space i would like to write a song inspired by that by me i'm embracing i'm growing i'm larger now i'm growing larger fyi i'm larger now fyi i am growing larger is a song i'm growing large i am growing large wow in fact that might be the title of the whole album it does feel a bit um erection coded yeah there's so many ways you could go with it that's why i like it as a concept album i am growing larger well in what ways you'll find 12 and 2 bonus oh interesting oh wow oh you see matt always comes up with legitimately incredible concepts for his album no i think that's an amazing concept for his albums there's one each song is a different one song is potentially pinocchio knows growing larger it's about you like learning not to lie yeah well i do tell bo and yang about all my concept albums and my albums that come up in my head and so the next one you have post quite us post yeah after we yeah after we have sex i put my cigarette out on him oh he doesn't move at all i'm thinking about doing a concept record he says brilliant wow what i think you should legitimately pursue this i am on vacation that is that the concept album is being on vacation there was the title is i am on vacation i am on vacation and that's sort of what radical optimism was about yeah that's so i was ahead of my time on that one as well people give me such guff for saying that it's my favorite duoliba album i love optimism is great and i here's what i would say looking back do i think it's going to hold the cultural place of future nostalgia no of course but i think to say that radical optimism is like a flop era for her is no no no no people are short-sighted people are short-sighted we're going to look back on it very soon i would say in the next few months hopefully and and if i have anything to say great album well congrats to houdini who joined the billions club congrats to houdini girl you joined the billions club and you have four gay guys said i know we were all streaming houdini did you see what i did to duolipa what did you do to her i um i got a notification this sounds like i'm making it up i got a notification that a comment of mine was liked and the comment was that a week before that notification i had commented on a photo of duolipa you are absolutely killing it miss chica and i love you i looked up when that day was and it was when i was really jet lagged when i had just arrived in london and i do i now have sort of formed a memory of it and i do think i remember being in my hotel room and commenting it but i semi i semi asleep commented on a carousel of duolipa you are absolutely killing it miss chica that's actually real culture number eight duolipa you are absolutely killing it miss chica something about being in london uh sort of bleary-eyed exactly i i think you're you just do things that you're like it's and you go into a dissociative state you i really can post anything you want from europe it's actually real culture number 10 you can post anything you want i was doing fit check from can don't think i forgot i knew you were clocking my tea at home too oh by the way do i am i ever not no i literally you know i'm printing out every story of matt's putting it on a board sometimes i literally i'm like george will hate this but i know you love it and sometimes i'll just text him a period just so he knows i'm watching you know i'm like george will hate this but i know you love it and sometimes i'll just text him a period just so he knows i'm watching speaking about miss chicas and pop stars um and this is pertinent to you wait clog me or gag me it's still an obsession are you quoting what's her face yeah love me or hate me it's still an obsession love me i hate me still an obsession uh lady lady sovereign lady sovereign is a recurring motif in sam's work as a comedian lady sovereign it looked like she was going the distance well i actually am obsessed with that concept because sometimes when i really hate something i'm like give me one of those things i'm like give me one of those things i'm like give me one of those things this will be my favorite thing. Like, I'm like, they are the same feeling. - Oh, me and Audrey Hobert. - Me and Audrey Hobert. - You were not, you clocked her T negative, not laudatory. - We were clocking her T and now we're gagging upon her. - We clocked her T, cut to three months later, we're gagging harder than anyone has ever known. - What was the inflection? - I woke up one day and I was like, I need this more than anything on Earth. - She's a musical genius. - And I could not stop listening to it. - Absolutely. - Sumi, you wanna keep listening. - Literally. - Nice. - T clocked. - Thirst trap is, it's like that is having a crush. It is the er having a crush song. I've never heard anything like it. Literally, I can't remember the exact lyrics, but it's like, I literally used to watch the news and now I take photos of myself, that's genius. - No, she's amazing. - She's amazing. - I don't even take photos of myself, but I used to watch the news and I don't anymore. And the song, the Chateau is great. - Yes. - And what's the song, Bowling Alley. I love Bowling Alley. - Bowling Alley, Phoebe, go ahead, sorry. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So you guys just, it just clicked one day. Both of you at the same time. - Around the same time. - Incredible, so you, that is like hooking up in a way. - And that's intimacy, that's intimacy. What is your most intimate moment? - Wait, this is an amazing question. - And it can be emotional intimacy. I'm not asking as in like a disgusting way. - You're desperate for us to have sex. - No, I'm actually not. I think. - I mean, we do like jerk off together. - We're not Christian. - Like five year olds. - It became a joke. - Did you guys all notice that it became a joke? I asked what's your most intimate moment together? - Title of ep, it became a joke. - It became a joke. - See, they really are just. - They really are. - Do we have an intimate moment? What is our most. - Okay, guess not. - What is our most intimate moment? - You couldn't even make eye contact when you asked. - To me, this is not, my earnest response to me is it's not a moment, but there are times when it, it syncs up and this can happen both on stage or off stage. It feels like we are sharing a brain. And it's like, even when we're like on tour together and we're like planning our day, I sometimes, I think this is the way twins are, where it's like, I'll sometimes be like, I know what Sam is in the mood for. I don't even have to be in the same room as him. I know he's gonna be, you know, in a good mood, in a cranky mood, hungry, like wanting to exercise. Like, and I think that's the. - No, I love when we're on tour, it is like, we're like a couple. - Yeah. - And in a nice way, except non sexually, like a couple. - Like a couple. - Yeah. - Like a couple. - Yeah, so it's sort of exactly like a couple. - So sort of like a couple. - We're kind of like a married couple. - We're kind of like a married couple in that we know exactly what each other is thinking and never fuck. - I like it too. Like, I like when we're like, okay, like we'll get breakfast together and then it'll be like, okay, well, you know, maybe let's text in like an hour or two. And I know when we say that it means we won't see each other until like an hour before the show. - And now a quick break from our sponsor, Vital Proteins. - And it is. - It is vital. Collagen peptides is a wellness supplement that supports healthy hair, skin, nails, bones, and joints. - When we hit 30, our body's collagen production starts to drop and that's when Vital Proteins steps in. - Their iconic blue tub is everywhere. People love Vital Proteins in part because it's so easy. - Just mix it into your coffee, tea, or smoothie, and you're good to go. - Right now you can get 20% off your next order by going to vitalproteins.com and using promo code LASCULTURISTAS20 at checkout. - Huge thanks again to our sponsor, Vital Proteins. - These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. The latest news in the industry. - Oh, I love this. - Is that Lady Gaga is in talks to star in the perfect blue adaptation directed by Darren Aronofsky. - I don't know how real it can be. - It's on Vanity Fair. Chris, our friend Chris Murphy wrote it. - Really? - Did you say perfect blue, Sam? - No. - Oh, perfect blue is ingenious. - Oh my God, I just watched it. - You just watched it. - Well, I was texting Bowen about this because I just watched it and I looked, I was like, I need to hear, I need to read and listen to things about this. And so on my podcast app, I searched perfect blue. First thing that comes up, Bowen Yang on Blank Check. - Yes. - I said I'm gonna have to hit play on that 3.5 million hours. Episode. - It's very long. - They let the cameras roll. - They really let the cameras roll. - I don't remember much of that episode. - You were great. - Okay, great. - I thought you were gonna say, you were wine drunk. - Well, he loves the film. He loves the film. - It's one of my, it's my thing. - Well, do you wanna, I think it's a very Sam film. - It's so you, it's crazy. - You know what it is? It's Lady Gaga, Fame is a Prison. What, so tell me, what's the- - Okay, so it's a movie that I'm, okay. And if I ever dwindle, like y'all step in. - Okay. - If I ever dwindle, y'all step in. - That's rule of culture number 50. If I ever dwindle, y'all step in. - That's friendship. - Yeah. - That's what the four of us have. Okay, so it's basically, it came out in like '95, '96. - Okay. - Super prescient. It's this girl who, her name is Mima. And she was in a little pop trio. And then she leaves the trio in order to pursue an acting career on a television show. But then like her, some of her fans, and one kind of stalking presence in particular, is like angry about that. Wants to keep her sort of in amber in this girl group as a pop star. But she's like, I'm an actress now. Then her manager gives her a computer as a gift that's hooked up to the internet, '95. She's on, then she boots up the computer. And then like all of a sudden she like sees a website, like a blog essentially, diary entries written as her, but like in great detail about her life and her day. Like on set, like was on set today, did this. She was like, how does this know? - Keep in mind, this is, mid nineties, pre blogs, pre Gawker. - Pre Gawker, the peak. and the renaissance, I mean, of Gawker. But then she. Thank you. Basically, it's fully dissociative. It's this psychological thriller where she's being chased by her own presence. Someone is really, I don't know, stalking her, and it ends in horror. Help me out. It manifests as another her that's born from the internet. There's another creation. She can't really decide or delineate whether it's something that's in her mind or whether it's an actual embodied thing that has somehow been created from this nasty, dark image of her on the internet. And her reality shatters because she's unable to be like, I'm me, that's that, I can register reality. It's about becoming crazy from reading the comments, basically. But also what's also prescient about it, which you mentioned, I think, on this podcast episode, she's not a huge star. She's not Madonna in the movie. She's actually kind of like a small. She's almost like a creator. She's like a Zara Larsson. Which I always think is. Because it's like predicting this era where the internet is a bunch of micro-celebrities and all of them are going insane. Fully Ado style. 90, 30 years ago. And so, very Black Swan, right? Well, literally, Darren Aronofsky copied it for Black Swan. So then when Black Swan comes out, everyone's like, hey, you copied Perfect Blue. And he's like, no, I'm influenced by it. And then now it's very full circle. He's doing it. And what's the other person that fully copied? Well, Paprika is very Christopher Nolan. Christopher Nolan. It was very Inception. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, what do we think about Gaga? It's basically mayhem. It's basically the mayhem ball. I mean, I, of course, celebrate. Okay. I think anything she's in, I will celebrate. That's the thing. It's gonna be whatever it is. You could put her in a movie. I would never see. I saw Joker, too. Yeah. Like, I am there. I have no take on her besides, because the take is always, well, I will be obsessed with her. No, it's like, I can't be a journalist when it comes to Lady Gaga because I'm biased. Exactly. I recuse myself. I recuse myself. While participating fully. I have an idea that I have been thinking about that I think could really change things around for Miss Lady Gaga. Go ahead. I love this. I think she should play Mary Todd. Yeah, I mean, this is like. But I think, I'm not kidding. I know, and I'm with you. There's nothing more I would want than that. Like I just said, it doesn't matter what she's doing. I think you're trying to be obsessed. It's now running through. I'm not trying to tear her down. No, you don't think it would be a smashing success? I think it would be a success, but for all the wrong reasons. You don't think O'Mary is at her level of sort of cultural relevance? I mean, that's the thing. It is the number one theater property. That's true. It has absolutely. It has absolutely. It has absolutely come for Hamilton. Yeah, it has come for Hamilton. O'Mary has come for Hamilton. Knock, knock, knock. Clock, clock, clock. Clock, clock, clock. Over. Clock, clock, clock. Title of that clock, clock, clock. Because guess what? If you had told me a year ago, if you had told me a year ago, it was Maya Rudolph, I would have said, no, she's too famous to do it or whatever. Like, I just think it's only going to keep getting more prestige until it's Michelle Obama. Well, you know they fully, you know who was fully going to do it and talked about it on this podcast was Jenner. Jennifer Lawrence. Oh, that'd be fun. She was going to do it and it didn't work out. And then we had heard a rumor that Anne Hathaway was supposed to go in as Cole's first replacement. The people that they're talking to are on this level. Yeah. As we know, I mean. That's why, like, it doesn't really bump at all. No, I wasn't. I wasn't saying that as a joke. It's not like her level that's bumping me. Yeah. It's more like the silliness. Okay. You don't think she's silly? I think she. Oh, you don't think she's silly. You don't think I'm silly. Oh, my God. Of course I think she's silly. It's just like, but at the same time. Sam didn't understand the camp element of A Star is Born. Oh, my God. I think she is. And you thought House of Gucci was a grounded drama. Well, he said that accent works. To be fair, that accent did work. I also think it worked. It's time to take out the trash. It's everyone else's accent that didn't work. She was in the right place. Well, that is true. Adam Driver. Well, not. No, my favorite performance from the movie is, of course, saying, stay with me, Salma Hayek. Oh, of course. Salma Hayek. She is one of our greats. Yes. There's no disputing it. I was recently re-watching the Third Rock episode she's in where she goes, she's like wearing a T-shirt that says something funny and she's like, don't let my silly T-shirt distract from something serious I'm about to say. What? Perfect. Silly T-shirt distract from something. Third Rock used to be the O'Mary where they would really bring in these A-list women. It's like, take me back. I actually, I've been on a Third Rock kick again. Me as well. I've been mainlining it. It's been really nice. It's been, it's been nice. You forget. You forget. You're like, oh, wow, it actually can just be jokes. It can. It can. We're so far away from that now as a culture. When was the last time you heard a joke? You know what, you know what, you know what, actually, I do laugh at 2017. It was Donald Trump becoming president. Oh, George. He took it there. Dark woke. This podcast went dark woke today. God, it's so scary. Get me Gavin Newsom. Yeah, get him in the chair. Get me Gavin Newsom. You know, Jaboukie and I coined a new term today. What'd you say? What is it? It's called Gavin Newsom comedy. Do you want to hear what it is? Yeah, please. It is comedy, and I'll tell you who we're referring to off mic. It is comedy that takes it is comedy that takes the worst parts of alt comedy and the worst parts of club comedy and combines it. Oh, God. Could you show us an example? Yeah, I would love an example. How is this I'm just saying that's what Gavin Newsom is doing with like taking the worst parts of liberal and worst parts of conservative. I was like, you're giving him too much credit. No, no, he's not doing comedy. No, no, no, he would be a great Mary Todd, but he is not doing comedy. I'm saying the metaphor for this kind of comedy is Gavin Newsom. Yes, yes, yes. I think he's just trying to make everything culturally normal. Yeah, yeah, because that's what we have to do. We just have to be culturally normal and then we'll all be fine. Wait, wait, Lindsey Graham Mary Todd went. Oh, Lindsey Graham. Sam, this is huge. okay, and you have to take this as a compliment. Uh-oh. You are already an amazing casting brain. You know what I mean? And they just added the casting Oscar. You've always been a casting Oscar. They should give it to me. They should give me the Oscar. Yeah, they should give you the Oscar, but no, but Sam would always like connect the perfect dots when we were doing shows together, I feel. Well, I'm going to take it as a compliment. Yeah. In addition to all your other feels. How else would you have taken it? Yeah, yeah, excuse me, don't raise your voice on my co-host. Yeah, you're being the yelling lady. Wait, you guys said you guys brought something for us. Oh, well, first I was going to say something about casting. Okay. Very quickly. We were talking about, because we're doing a bunch of records. Good job standing up for yourself. We're doing a bunch of records while we're here, and we were talking about who we should book. And George was like, who's in the theater? Who's in the theater? And I was like, hmm, who do I have a complicated relationship with? Who do I want to explore my complicated relationship with? And George was like, this is the exact difference between the two of us in booking people. You want confrontation. I always want, not confrontation, but like, something. I want a like, this was weird 10 years ago. Sam's catchphrases. Not even like weird bad, like you were rude to me, but like, it can be like, I sent you this email that I was embarrassed about. Can you talk about it? You want a little bit of tension and resolve on the podcast. It's very real housewife of you. Yes. Well, you know, I mean, case, point, point, match point. Game, set, match. Point of order. Next question. Case point is one of our early, very buzzy episodes in that it was listened to by multiple vulture staff writers. They forgot who we are. It was when we had Jeremy O. Harris on and Jeremy was actually Sam's high school bully and they literally like, we made up, made up on Mike. Oh my gosh. This is the difference between you two, but so, but then, and are we allowed to know who in the theater we figured out or no? No, I was just like, I'm always like, how can we, you know, we love obviously having comedians on and that's our bread and butter, but I'm always like, I want every six, seven episodes to have someone out of the box. Like when we had Alison Roman or when we, you know, and I was like, okay, who is like someone in the, like I want to have Sandra Bernhardt on. Yeah, you should. Yeah, well, she said no. She said no? Off camera. That to me feels like she is like too cool to do any podcast. No, no, no. She was, she's currently not doing podcasts and I just want to say, this ad is sponsored by Veve Healthcare. But first, some common sense people. Every one. Yes, even you. Especially your situationship and just like people, injectable prep options, not all the same. Did you know there's more to consider about long acting injectable prep options than how often you get it? Your routine. Your chaos level. Your, I might forget my own birthday energy. All of it counts. Ask the questions. It's allowed. Encouraged even. Okay, did you write all that down? No? Don't worry. You probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores. So dead. Wrong. And honestly, we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about Depop. Leopard print? They've got it. Got it. First of all, why? But fine. Not leopard print. And since fashion is life for a lot of people, same-sies. Depop, love you. Hey, Bo, on point of order, it feels like nothing is what it says it is anymore. Point of answer, it's because everything has a catch. Hey, or it turns out to be something else entirely. Like a total catfish situation. Exactly, Bo. Except for Hotels.com. Yeah, that one's pretty. Because it's Hotels.com. It's in the domain. You go there, you book hotels, hundreds of thousands of them. And hold up, that's it? That's it. And when stays are booked as a member, rewards are earned every time. Every stay? Every stay, no tracking or managing, just rewards that can be used like cash on future bookings. Which, by the way, already feels nicer than most rewards programs, okay? Yeah. Members can also get up to 20% off bookings, so savings start right away. Does that mean no weird restrictions? And no blackout dates. Book what works when it works. It's actually really fitting of real travel. So the name is honest, you're saying? And the rewards are too? Exactly. Hotels.com. Okay, we've been talking about Kewpie Mail for a minute now, Bo. You're stopping us in the street going, I love Kewpie. And if you're thinking, wait, what is Kewpie? Well, the answer? Egg yolks. Kewpie is made with egg yolks only. Burgers, fries, sandwiches, chicken, noodles. Chefs use it. Restaurants use it. Whatever you're eating, Kewpie it. So if you haven't tried Kewpie yet, Kewpie is a great way to get started. Open the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about. You'll understand. Kewpie, the original Japanese mayonnaise. If she does culturistas, that's because she has changed her mind about podcasts. Not because you got her and we did. Of course, of course. No, 100%. They brought something for us, you guys. Things. No, you don't want to. And I just gotta say, this is gonna make an amazing social clip. That's what podcasts are. Social arm. We have a few things, a few terms we've invented on our podcast. A few games. A few recurring motifs, if you will. It's a way to make sense of the world. We love theorizing and putting things into categories and boxes. And so we wanted to bring some of them to you guys so they can reach a wider audience. And I think it could really benefit both of us. Okay, great. We would love to be your mule. I would say we're on board. Do you want to do Lizzo or Haim first? Well, we might have to start with Haim. Okay. What was the other one? Lizzo. Lizzo, okay, great. So the first one is this game that we do where we put things that are- It's Marry, Talk, Kill, but you guys assign it to the Haim sisters. But with the Haim sisters. Yes, so it's the Haim sisters. It's called either Haim Game or Haim Lick, depending on our mood. And we give you three things, and you have to choose which one of them is Danielle, which one of them is Esty, and which one of them is Alana. Now, for anyone who's not familiar with the personalities of the Haim sisters- Yes, break it down. No, no, let them do it first. No, no, no. I want to hear George's- I think it may- I want them to get creative with it. Okay, okay, okay. And then can we hear your sort of delineation? Okay, great. Maybe we'll do a couple without any context, and then I will- Yes. Okay, perfect. So how about this? So how about this? Let's start big. Gaga, Taylor, Beyonce. Okay. Which one is Alana Haim? Which one is Danielle Haim? Which one is Esty Haim? Oh, so easy. Okay. Okay, so I think that Esty Haim is Taylor Swift. Uh-huh. I think that Danielle Haim is Beyonce, and I think that Alana Haim is Gaga. And the way that I could break that down is that Gaga and Alana both have not only promising film careers, but already proven arguably potentially equally talented in this pursuit as the other. I would say that Danielle Haim is the Beyonce because it's kind of like when you line all three up, it's like, well, there's your front woman. I do believe that there's a certain front woman glow there. And then I think Esty and Taylor- I think just like- No, what I think is creative backbone. No, that's good. I actually- I think artistic pursuit drives, and also I do think cool girl vibes. I think you're going to see them at the cool restaurant. Cool girl vibes, sort of social chair, sort of like the great sort of connector of all these different things. Yeah, we're leaving arm in arm from Via Carota, and everyone else that we're talking about is like not necessarily doing that. Right. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That's good. Okay, we'll do one more, and then we'll get into it. You take this one, though. Okay. Okay, for Bowen, Charmander Bulbasaur Squirtle. Oh, thank you. Oh, my God. That's so amazing. I'm going to start with- I'm going to start with Squirtle as Esty, playful, bubbly. Yes. Bulbasaur as Alana, super- No. I think Bulbasaur is Alana. Bulbasaur is Alana, grounded, slow to blossom. But then, Venusaur. Big flower. Big flower. Big flower. Venusaur and Pocopia, the new hit Pokemon game, the personality that they assigned to Venusaur, because they can talk because you play as a ditto, transforming as- a human being. And so, Venusaur's personality is calling you Deary, saying, hi, Deary. It's so cute. Which, that feels very Alana. And then, I guess, Charmander, Danielle, like, ultimately a fire. Yeah. I think the Rocker. The Rocker. The Rocker girl. Yeah, Charmeleon with the- Linkin Park, Evanescence. And also, like, ultimately, the Charizard hologram card was the one that was like- That's the one you want. That's the one you want. If you want one card, it's that one. It's that one. If you're lucky to get it. Because that's the thing, too, is Danielle is elusive like Charizard. Well, I've seen her like 15 times in Los Feliz while I've been in New York, so. Yeah, but how many times have you seen Esty? Zero. I've never spotted- I've never spotted Esty. You've seen the other two? You've never spotted Esty? I've only spotted Danielle. Danielle's part-time job that she does- We'll go to all-time. For supplemental income is being spotted. Is being spotted. Yeah. Danielle's job? Yeah. Interesting. I would think- See, I feel like the- The bit that people do about Haim is that Esty and Alana are the girls of LA. They're out, and I feel like Danielle is the one that's a little bit more like- I'm in the studio. I might make it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's at the restaurant with the producer chatting about the next project. Yeah, okay. She's going to the trendy restaurants, and she's with a guy who's like, you know, he's like 45 years old wearing Chuck Taylors and a leather jacket and a sideboard beanie. I gotta say, we've met them now a couple times. It's like talking to y'all. We love Haim, too. Well, we're based on them. We're based on them. So which one of you is who- Let's do this game for y'all. Well, let me tell you. Okay, so here's- I'll say sort of our interpretation of the Haims, and then you can fill in the blanks. To me, Danielle- They each represent a different archetype. Danielle, the CEO. Alana, the ingenue. Yes. And Esty, the comedian. Yes. So when we saw Haim at Barclays, I want to say? Aniston Square Garden. Aniston Square Garden, excuse me. The Barclays of Manhattan. When Esty at some point was sort of like, and now this is the Esty section of the concert. She did a full 25-minute stand-up set, and that led into her song. Great. Whereas, so that's kind of her talent. Danielle's talent is being kind of like the brains behind the operation. Yes, yeah. And then Alana, of course, she's winning Oscars. She's wearing a wig in one battle after another. And she's- Yes. And she's- She is the young one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, what was your- Now, you were going to say this for after. Yes. What is your sort of- Who am I? Was that just it? Like the way you just described all three of them? Was that what you were going to say? I think those are the archetypes. Do you have anything to add? No, that's great. Yeah, it's like the ingenue, the comedian, and the CEO. That's great. Okay, so knowing this. Yes. Do we stand by what we've said? I think so. And I have- And we can do like one more, if you want. Okay, no, we like this. And then as a duo, we'll build together this last one. Okay. One of these. So considerate of each other. Okay, okay. It's intimate what just happened. I like this one. I know. Okay, let's do Martini Manhattan Negroni. Oh, that's great. Martini Manhattan Negroni. So we're both martini gays. We love Negronis, though. Honey, we just love drinks. So, well, I mean- Two of the drinks we really love, and I don't want this to correlate to- Oh, no, no, no. If it's easier, we could do white. Red rosé. Whoa. Is it easier? But that feels like a color gradient that I feel like it makes it- Yeah, I want to go back. It makes both- Okay, sorry. It makes both uncomfortable. I regret it. I regret it. I think I'm really uncomfortable. Can we cut that? Can we cut- I have one. I have one for Martini Manhattan Negroni. And then I'll do red, white, orange. I'm going to start with Estee again. Estee is going to be Martini. Yep. Really? Fun, chic, sort of like- A little dirty. Out on the town. A little dirty. I love that. Even though we've said- Yeah. And we've said- We've said Estee is out on the town. The Martini is being held and spilling. Yeah. It's sloshing a bit. Yeah. It's very Estee. That's fun. Um. I'm going to say Manhattan is Alana, not necessarily the girl that you think of when you think of firsthand, like the Haim sort of trinary, ternary. But Alana, once you see her on her own, you're like, yes. Like she's isolated in different sort of reliefs. And you're like, yes. And then Negroni, like brooding, textured, earthy. Danielle. Wow. That was beautiful. That was really amazing. For many of the same reasons I was going to say that red wine is Danielle. I agree. It's robust. Red wine could not be more Danielle. Yeah, I mean, it expands as you interact with it. Yes. White wine is Alana Haim. Fun. Because there's something, and you know what? It's a little bit like, toss some club soda in there. Literally. Make it a spritzer. That's nice. Suddenly it's. It's fun in a new way. Yeah. And the orange wine is Estee Haim. Rosé. Oh, oh, oh. Rosé and orange wine are interchangeable. Rosé and orange are both Estee. I actually had orange wine two nights ago and loved the way I look, I guarantee it. Because it was a little bit like organic and the waitress was like, ugh, not a lot of people are into this one. But the people that are are fucking obsessed. So Estee is like kombucha wine fully. She's like, there's sediment in there. It's fizzy. Yeah. I think you taste it and you're like, oh, yeah, we're going to keep going. Yeah. You're saying, I did not expect that that's what that would taste like. Yeah. But we'll take a bottle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nice. And I would say the best, we all know the best thing with all these cocktails is to mix them up in one big bowl and just slurp it up like, yes. Oh, four straws. Yeah, exactly. Oh, wait a minute. Clock 13. We should do that too. We should do it. We're getting scorpion bowls. When are we getting scorpion bowls? Wait, so when Sarah Sherman was here like a month ago, we were like on the pod. We were like, let's get martinis. And then they got us martinis. They got us martinis. I'm not going to make anybody do that now, but that would be so fun if we just sit. That would be so fun. Can I ask a question? Did we start this at two? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what time is it? What time is it? Three. How the fuck is that? No, we came in a little late, right, Becca? Yeah. Why do you think time flies when you're having fun? Clock it. Clock it. Clock it. It was a question. It wasn't a clock slash statement. A clock is a statement. And it's. Also known as a muster. I thought you were doing like, a kiki is a party. Pop Roulette did What's Have a Kiki last year as one of our sketches. You just did the song? Remember that? Last year? No, Pop Roulette. You said last year. That's what you said last year. Last year? You said Pop Roulette. I was like, I did not know you were still a Pop Roulette. Isn't it crazy? Sometimes you say words that you have no idea you said. Yeah. And I'm like, what? And then sometimes I'll listen back to this for hours. And then I'll be like, what am I saying to that? That's an amazing defense for the next time you say something really offensive. Rats, miss my window. What is Lizzo? Okay. So we want to tell you about Lizzo's Pass. Oh, I love Lizzo's Pass. You know Lizzo's Pass. You played this. Okay. Well, and it's less of a game, more of just a concept. Can I say, here's the thing. Lizzo's Pass, no one can get upset about what is discussed when it comes to Lizzo's Pass because you made the choice. It's a choice. It's not offensive. No. Both have value. It's an observation. It's an examination. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But just for the, yeah, for everybody. For everyone out there trying to make something out of nothing, let's do it. So Lizzo's Pass is when an artist gets to a certain point in their career. They're cool. They're underground. They're growing. They're growing. They're growing. They're gigantic. And it's like, what do you do next? Yes. And there's a narrow little path and you either go to Target or you go to Pitchfork. Yes. And we were saying this is sort of where like Chapel Roan is. She's at Lizzo's Pass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to say, you know, people forget, because this is Sam's concept and he always told me, people forget that Lizzo, because we were so used to her being this huge star. She started like indie rock. Not only indie, but like Minneapolis, like Prince endorsed her. Aurora, Colorado. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like she was like a cool, if you look up old articles about Lizzo, it's like, meet the punk rock body positive rapper that's shaking up the Midwest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there was, she did one show in Brooklyn that was like the most, like, the most, like, the meanest gay guys all went to it. And we're like, this rocks. And it's like, and that won't happen now. No. And she, and so she, and again, I say this with nothing but respect, she chose Target. She chose, she's like, I'm going to do, you know, I'm going to go for the moms. Yep. Right. She, you know who else chose Target? Pink. Yeah. Like, back in the day. And I, you know, if she had chosen Pitchfork, she would not be co-hosting for Kelly Clarkson. Right. Right. And these are choices they've happily made. And these are choices that have happened. Yeah. Now, the issue is, of course, there are. There are some exceptions where someone can choose Target, then backtrack and go Pitchfork. Yeah, right. In my dream of dreams, that is what, that is what I am doing. Because I feel like I've, I've inadvertently chose Target. And now I'm like, oh, wait, no, no, no, I don't want this. Well, I think it's, it's, it's pretty easy to choose Target when you realize what choosing Target means, which means you're going to be financially set up. You're seeing dollar signs. Exactly. And I think Chapel, I think Chapel's past Elizabeth's past. Well, it's complicated. She is a really weird one. She's a weird, she's like slowly walking away from Elizabeth's past, but it's like hard. It's like snowy and it's hard to see which way she's going. I think she's, I think she's going to Pitchfork. I think a lot of people are pushing Chapel towards Target, but I think that like, even if they really all, all hands on deck at a meeting with Chapel present, we're like, hey, guys, look me in the eyes. Yeah. We're choosing Target. She can't choose Target. No, no. I think what happened with Chapel is. She's too, she's too. I think you're pointing to something genius, which is that they're pushing, they're trying to make her go to Target and she's pushing against it. Yes. The wind is blowing her to Target and she's saying, no, I'm going to wear the nipple piercing dress to the award show. And she's flat out here like, hey, I'm leaving the Wasserman agency. This is a decision that I'm making. I will choose to make a wave in this way that's going to make people uncomfortable again and again and again. That person cannot, they cannot stay at that. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know what I think happened? I think there was one summer where Chapel accidentally was pushed to Target. And then to quote Sam, she was like, this is gauche. And then took the steps back and went back to the past and was like, I'm actually going to pitch. It's like Charlie XCX for H&M. People were like confused by that. Yeah. And then it's like, well, when you get to this level, like there's going to be some interaction with Target. Like when you get to a certain point, like you can't, it's weird because is it easier to be doomed in one? I don't know. Do you think anyone's doomed in Pitchfork? Yeah, because ultimately then, then they're old. They're always going to think it's like what Charlie has always said, like commercial success, commercial success. It always eluded her and also therefore tormented her. Even someone as cool as her who, who had a mansion, um, in Pitchfork land. Yeah. Do you think, um, you know, who chose Pitchfork? She was a bunch of mansions and she was a professor at Pitchfork. You, she essentially had, she had the nicest, coziest, most tenured spot in Pitchfork land that you really could get, but Charlie is a case in, um, someone who has been, who stayed at Lizzo Point, despite other people trying to push her. Completely. She would, she would, she would do the one for me, one for them thing for years until Brad, which, which was supposed to be the Pitchfork thing, but then it fully pushed her to. Brad is like the Pitchfork stand inside the target. It's like, it's like there's a whole, there's a little Pitchfork capsule collection and it's Charlie being like, do you want the tank top? Yeah. She also made art about being at Lizzo's pass. Yeah. I know. Which I guess makes her y'all's favorite pop star outside of Lady Gaga. That's up there for me. For sure. Same. I mean, Charlie, it's like, that's like my family member when you've been there from the beginning, she could, she could come out and make like the war, like just the fart sounds album. And I'd be like, you know, there's something to it. I was in the shower and like, like tracks from like XCX world or like the unreleased tracks kept. I was like, I was like TKO and like, um, can you hear me or whatever? And I was like, oh, I had to taxi. I was just like, ah, this used to be Charlie, which is, I'm not, I'm saying that can coexist with it. Yeah. So Charlie XCX live was at the Chipotle heritage festival in San Francisco, California. And I want to say this is easily fact checkable. And that's a crazy mix. I'm confused. It was a, it was like, so this was imagine like peak millennial hipster food truck era. San Francisco was the place to be. Exactly. Of course, there's going to be a Chipotle heritage festival that has a performance from Charlie XCX where she debuts her song for the fault in our stars. Wow. Which was boom clap. Boom clap. Charlie XCX. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. That's when I said, I'm going to be an artist. I have to be. I have a question. uh we try and then we fail how do you do it because when we talk to when we talk to people sometimes i see myself like if i don't if i'm not personally friends with them i immediately just turn into like the most like like so is it hard acting i actually think we do a pretty good i think we do a great job of of like trying to talk to them like they're human beings because it's just more fun to listen to yeah but it is hard when when you meet this person for the very the first time in a situation like this, this to not be like a little effusive or a little standish because, because you do have that type of adoration for that person. And that tends to be how we treat anyone who comes here anyway. Right. Right. You're not doing like dead pan, like Adam Friedland. No. You're already, it's a positive environment. So, which feels, I don't know, normal or whatever, but like this, it's the same thing with like small talk where it's like, this is you, this is what you do. It's small talk is for strangers. It's for you to suss out safety. And if you want to keep advancing this conversation or this relationship or whatever, it's, it's fawning and standing for like a pop star or an actor or whatever, or like some public figure that like is big. We're just like, this is for both of us a way to like suss out how we want to advance this conversation. Yeah. It's okay. It's like, we're not going to break the seal and go in, like come in hot and be like, so like what was like throw neck challenge. Like we're not going to do that with them. Yeah. But you know what? Sometimes we randomly do like it gets there with some people. Like we were taught, we talked to Kate Blanchett about like what, what, what goes down at Bergkahn and stuff like that. She talked about like certain things we never would have expected from her. I will say like, sometimes a publicist will say in advance, like, Hey, like don't touch on this, this and this. And I'll look at the things that they're, that they're, that they're warning against us talking about. And I'm like, in, what world would I want to bring this up? Hey, so I noticed, I noticed you haven't spoken to your sister in seven years. I want to ask you about that on camera. Like, no, I want to like basically tickle each other with words. Yeah. Ooh. Okay. And also enough or nothing, but it's, it's, it's kind of worked. So why would we, you know what I mean? But people, people get like emotional and I don't know, not emotional. Just the people just feel a certain way whenever we like talk to effusively to people. And it's like, Oh, but this is, you would do the same. Well, I immediately, like when we had like Jesse Tyler Ferguson on, like, I was like, this is gonna be so like, cause we talk about liking modern family a lot, but it does come from a place of like, when we were in our twenties, we were like, fuck this show. And then we like are gay married. Now we're like, we love this show. Yeah. And it's like, okay. But I'm like, I'm even afraid to say that. So the question, like in my mind, I have this really complex emotional question. And then it comes out as like, so you're on modern. Yeah. And it's like, not, there's no bite or edge to it. It's like, he's just like, yep, it was a good show. And I'm like, totally. Yeah. But we've, we've all worked in scenarios professionally where we've had to like approach like quote unquote talent or like, you know, a celebrity or something for like a comedy show or like a TV show where we're like, okay, so these are your jokes. This is what we've written for you. It's like, there's just that part is removed. And instead the thing that we're presenting to them is thank you for being on our program. And like, this is, this is what we have to offer you because, you came here for a reason and we're here for like, it's a mutually beneficial exchange of something. I don't know. It's fine. People are smarter, I think then too, then sometimes like you might think they're going to be coming in. It's like when a certain celebrity comes in and they're like an A-list star, they probably know the bit about them. Like I think you guys, you guys could have had Jesse Tyler Ferguson come in or anyone come in like, and be like, so you know that you're so mainstream, stream gay famous that certain gay men feel a certain way about it and you do become a little bit of like a projection punch line. It's like if he doesn't know that, then that would be weird. I think we all are like experiencing some level of like what it means to be then a gay that gets to be the one where the things get projected onto. And so everyone, any media literate or internet literate person, understand that. This and maybe they've been dying to talk about like, hey, yeah, it feels this way that way or another way about like just by existing as a gay guy in the public eye, it feels this way might not be a particularly interesting conversation, but it is something when Mary Beth and I were doing the, when I was helping Mary Beth to the red carpet or the first person she spoke to at the Golden Globes was Dylan Efron and I, and we hadn't prepared for him and so we didn't have anything ready and I went up to her and I was like, ask him if he has any siblings. Just say, do you have any siblings? And she asked him and he didn't get the bit. But it was I was like this to me. This is the perfect celebrity interaction is Mary Beth asking, do you have any siblings? And Dylan Efron being like, oh yeah, I have a sister and a brother. And then Mary Beth goes, and this was improvised. She goes, oh, that Efron. That's so funny. My favorite things growing up, like when I watched, any type of a celebrity interview where like I loved like between two ferns. Oh my God. I loved like when people would come in. Sometimes I do feel like a world where we could have just set up a thing that was more abject. But the fact is, and this is okay to say the fact is when you really drill us down to who we are, that's not who we are now. Like we, we are a little bit more earnest than that. I would become exhausted pretending to just, neg someone all the time and then have everyone think my personality was just that different from what it is. I don't know how, but I think I understand what you're saying, but I do think as someone who has worked with you, you do have, if you can access that edge very easily, you just don't want that to be your defining quality. I, well, yes, I guess that's what I'm saying. It's like, that's the reason why I sometimes I'm annoyed about it because part some of the time I do feel I would be more comfortable slash get away, with more. Yeah. If I had just done, Oh God forbid, kindness wins. Well, yeah, no, but, but, but, but also then there's like another side to it, which is like, yeah, I kind of do. I mean, I'm crying at a wedding. Do you remember when Zach Galifianakis asked Natalie Portman, so for a V for Vendetta, you shaved your head. Did you also shave your V for vagina? That's, that's, I do remember that. Shout out. Talk about notes of massage. Your V for Vendetta. Vagina. Unsung hero and all the between two ferns was the woman kind of like walking all the guests off. Just being like a six foot tall woman just like angling her face away from the camera is like taking up like Sally Field and like telling her to walk this way. It's I think it's wait, hold on. So you guys are kind of at Lizzo's pass. We well, certainly, you know, now that they're just like, a few genius and Jesse Tyler Ferguson is literally like we are at Lizzo's pass is Lizzo's pass. It's like, do you choose perfume genius or do you choose Jesse Tyler Ferguson? Yeah, I think it could be more clear. You guys are so I think you guys will without even intention go towards pitchfork. Yeah, that's just I feel like that is and I think I want to say Sam is very good at keeping us pitchfork. Sometimes I get carried away. We'll get like a request for a guest and I'll just be like no name. Let's do like yes, like that all in the Sex in the City movie because he gets carried away. Yeah, I do get I was going to call you that. So I do get carried away. Yeah, oh my God, but we that's the that's the balance. That's the balance because some balance like I yeah, sometimes I will also literally the moment I'm looking at someone's eyes. I'm like, I don't know your name. I don't know what you're in. I don't know what songs he's heard. Like really hard. I'm like when you said that my dates I was like, I don't know my dates. Like that's crazy out the ear come. I don't even know that I can't tell you the dates now. Wow, I held on to it for the time that I had to that is amazing. Like I keep saying just to the Ferguson. I'm like that is his name, right? Like I forget stuff like well, he this is another element of I think it's like when you do get pitched a certain name for the podcast. It is also like it's not just of course, you're thinking about it like an episode of the show, but it's also like do I want to hang out with that person lately? And then sometimes it's like oh, I don't think I'd ever get an opportunity. If it wasn't this to hang out with that person in that person and ask them questions. So of course, we're going to say yes to it. Yeah, but like how is this going to be a good hang? Good hang. Oh, which was the original through it with original name of our podcast. She sued us. She sued us for it. She's a she's so awful in person. Why don't you sue you if it was your original she sued me. She sued me because I wrote baby mama and then she fully copped the I had a meeting with her and she said I hate this idea. You're going to complete flop. She called me a lot of homophobic slurs. Yeah, and then next morning I saw in Variety. She was developing a film called baby mama with someone named Tina face. And this is yeah. This is when you were really on Variety really on the trades. Yes. Yes, 2006. Yeah, that was when they were the best. They were the best then. Oh my God the trades take me back. Take me back to the good trades Variety Spring 2006. Oh, honey, you know the photo shoot. I have it framed in my bathroom. Wait, what was I going to say? Um, um, um, um, um, there was a baby mama own. There was a period of time where like I was being sent a lot of magazines because I guess I signed up for like the ones online and so I was getting the physical copies and I walked I had them all on my um, my coffee table in LA and Joel walks in and he goes it's like ICM in here. I think it's time maybe time what you're you're right you're right no you're right no you're right no you're right well there's i'm happy to keep going no no lena dunham's coming we get it can we say when she arriving when she arrives she's getting her four we started 4 30 but the thing about four i don't think so honeys is there's four of them and they always as beyonce wants to start all this conversation so when a lot of people get so upset when they hear it's time because they think oh my god the podcast is ending but really you know what it means it just means the appetizer has hit the table babe and now we can start eating which is what this segment is all about eating something up in culture for 60 seconds i love amy puller and no if anyone takes that clip out of context oh i'm suing you know who's gonna take it out of context amy puller no i she's gonna sue your ass again this is where you come to get things taken out of context and the entire i think she it was a little i think i scared her a little bit no no i literally i i did she was a little bit scared i'm not gonna scare anybody it's time i already set up the segment if you don't know now you know again it's i don't think so honey all right i'm ready here we go this is you're gonna start i assume yeah this is matt rogers i don't think so honey and his time starts now i don't think so honey this ad is sponsored by veve healthcare time for some prep wisdom but first some common sense people everyone is different everyone yes even you yes even your situationship especially your situationship and just like people injectable prep options not all the same that's why you need to talk to your doctor and know what to ask so here's some prep wisdom did you know there's more to consider about long-acting injectable prep options and how often you get it also why you want to take it matters your lifestyle matters your routine your chaos level your i might forget my own birthday energy all of it counts basically talk to your doctor have the conversation ask the questions be a little nosy about your own health it's allowed encouraged even okay did you write all that down no don't worry just head to get prep wisdom dot com to learn what to ask your doctor that's get prep wisdom dot com you probably think dressing well takes lots of money or lots of time spent digging through thrift stores well not to be rude but you're wrong so dead wrong and honestly we're happy for you because now we get to tell you about depop you can find the fashion you love for less on depop and it doesn't matter what you're into leopard print they've got it not into leopard print first of all why but fine they've got that too not leopard print basically whatever your particular fashion situation is depop has entered the chat we're talking over six hundred thousand daily listings including celebrity and stylish shop drops that's a lot of listings and somehow it gets better you can sell the stuff you no longer wear and make money then use that money to buy things you do want to wear it's a circle like the circle of life but for fashion and since fashion is life for a depop fashion if it made sense make money on depop with no selling fees and find what you want for less depop love you hey bowen point of order it feels like nothing is what it says it is anymore point of answer it's because everything is a catch hey or turns out to be something else entirely like a total catfish situation exactly bow except for hotels dot com yeah that one's pretty literal because it's hotels dot com it's in the domain you go there you book hotels hundreds of thousands of them and hold up that's it that's it and when stays are booked as a member rewards are earned every time every stay every stay no tracking or managing just rewards that can be used like cash on future bookings which by the way already feels nicer than most rewards programs okay yeah members can also get up to 20 off booking so savings start right away does that mean no weird restrictions and no blackout dates book what works when it works it's actually really fitting of real travel so the name is honest you're saying and the rewards are too exactly hotels dot com it's all in the name okay we've been talking about qb mail for a minute now bow and wow the feedback we're getting i mean so many of y'all love this stuff you're stopping us in the street going i love qb and if you're thinking wait what is qb uh do you not have the internet it's the og japanese internet the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle once you know what you start seeing it everywhere people ask what makes it different from basic mayo well the answer egg yolks qb is made with egg yolks only giving it this incredibly rich umami flavor that elevates everything burgers fries sandwiches chicken noodles chefs use it restaurants use it people who really love food and flavor use it whatever you're eating qb hit so if you haven't tried qb yet find the bottle with the red cap and see what everyone's talking about you'll understand qb the original japanese mayonnaise without fail there's a fake spring there's a four or five day period where they're like oh my god everyone's dressing horrible again in the streets and by horrible i mean i see you gay guys with those shorts yes you know the one that are too short and too tight and you you whip them out and you can see them all around the city from approximately february 28th to march 28th and you can see them all around the city from approximately march 7th 8th there's always without fail a period where you think the groundhog done became a slut 30 and got out his slutty shorts for himself but the fact is you're gonna get to something like march 11th 12 13th and it's roaring back in like a lion out like a lamb honey this lion lamb she has a lot of questions about her identity march she is experimenting babe and she will continue to experiment you will never know what she's really like stay in the house it's won't be spring until April 30th, and then it will be summer on May 4th. This is the way it goes. I don't think so, honey. Anything else? - And that's one minute. - Wow. - Incredible. - Really beautiful. - I think I, what else? - What else? - How else was it good? - Well, I just have to say that, you know, as someone that has been living in LA for the last two years, it's like so nice to be like caring about the weather. - Shut up. - No, and thank you for saying shut up, because I keep feeling, I keep talking to people, and I can feel the LA stink on me. And I'm like, I've lived here for so long, like in New York. - You like it better now there. - No, don't say things like that. - You do. It's just a trade-off. - Okay, I'm Haim sisters, Chicago, New York, LA. - Okay, well. - This is tough. - I think Esty is Chicago, 'cause she's down to have some actual fucking fun. - Second city trained. She will riff like no one else can. I think Danielle is New York, 'cause she's tough. - Yeah. - She's tough, and a rocker. - Yeah, and a rocker. - And Alana, well, she's LA because she's in the films. - And she's in movie stuff. - Yeah, she's in movie stuff. - I agree. - Yeah. - That's amazing. - I mean, how could you disagree with that? - I mean, it would be crazy. - I was like, wrong. - Yeah, and they're all from California. Okay, what was I gonna say? Oh, I think I saw Ron Pym in Hell's Kitchen when I was. - Like a TBT? Do they still make those? - No, no, no. - That is not okay. - I think it was like, or is it? - Oh. - Have we horseshoe-theoried on Ron Pym's? - I ordered one blue-striped Ron Pym during, you guessed it, the pandemic, and. - Well past the pandemic. - That was already too late. - I know, trust me, I know. I put it on and I was like, oh God. - Well, anyway, that was beautiful. - If Ron Pym will come back, ironically, that's kind of fun. There's something to it. - I think so. - Ron Pym, I don't know, who could bring a Ron Pym back? - Harry Styles. - Harry Styles. - Harry Styles could. - Harry Styles. - I do like his fashion. - No, it's fun. - He's wearing a tie. - Yes, I like it. - Yeah. - Yeah, I like the tie thing. - Okay. - All right, you ready for your, I don't think it's on any time. - Yes, and it actually, it kind of dovetails right off of what we just spoke about. - Okay, this is Bowen Yang's I Don't Think So Honey as Time Starts Now. - I Don't Think So Honey, Merry Fuck Kill. I think let's expand the choices. It shouldn't be a trinary. How about Merry Fuck Ghost Gaslight. Talk to at a wedding and maybe hook up. - Ooh, fuck. - Fuck. That's already, oh, that's fuck? No, no, but sort of the seduction. Oh, seduce and then, seduce and then, you know, pay for dinner, but then second guess if you're sending mixed signals. I don't know, I think-- - 30 seconds. - I think we can just, we can always expand sort of the sort of matrix of choice here. That's it, I don't really have any sort of fiery take on, I just, I think everyone's open to this idea. - 20 seconds left. - I don't think anyone's gonna push back unless you like the simplicity of Merry Fuck Kill. You can't do this with like the Haim sisters necessarily. - 15 seconds. - You can't, you know, that is an elegant sort of decision tree. Like, it's only three choices, you can't have more, but you know, Merry Fuck Kill, there are so many more things you can do within-- - Plant a tree. - Just in life, plant a tree with the thing, with the concept. - Woo! - And here's my question for you. Are you Sabrina Carpenter? - Yes. - I am sweet. - Oh! - George. - You know what, we're gonna do it. And this is gonna be the last Merry Fuck Kill, at least ever on this podcast, and maybe ever. Merry Fuck Kill, the Haim sisters. - No. - What a gorgeous-- - You know, we've planned, we scripted out our entire appearance here so that we would not offend any of the Haim sisters. - We scripted out! - And I think we've done a really good job. Even when we're describing them, obviously-- - Then you know what, let's do it Bo and Yang style. Merry Fuck Kill. - Talk to at a wedding and just hook up, just kiss. - Okay. - No insertion. - I like that. - And there's still really good things about that because you actually have a conversation with the person, you remember it fondly, whereas with fucking, it's just sex. - And it's not hierarchical at all. live very horizontally. I have it. Yeah, go ahead. Go. Okay, I want to marry Alana. Yeah. I just think we could build a beautiful life together. Yep. You guys have the same sense of humor. Yeah. Yeah. I want to talk at a wedding and kiss Danielle. Yeah. I just feel like at a wedding, like, it'd be so fun. Yeah. String lights. Yeah, and it's like, so what's music like? And she's like, and what do you do? And then you guys make out. Yeah, and then we make out and it's like, that was fun, actually. I didn't think I was going to have fun at this one. At this one. At this one. Someone gets invited to a lot of weddings. And then fuck Esty. And then fuck Esty because you know we're having a fucking blast. We're in the hotel room. We're getting kicked out. Yeah. It's going to be crazy. You're doing that thing where one person gets on the other and takes a bottle of whiskey and pours it on their chest and licks it off. You know what Esty is doing? You know what Esty, the comedian, is doing? She is coming. She is Abby Jacobson style coming out with a giant strap on. Yes. She's pegging. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, let's peg. That's Esty. That is Esty. That's awesome. And you're like, girl, what? And she goes, dude, I'm just kidding. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you crazy? She's like, I'm just kidding. We're watching Bridget Jones, bitch. And then you watch Bridget Jones and then you watch. And then you're so excited that she meant the new one. You were hoping she meant that. I meant to see it. Oh my God, it was good, actually. I didn't mean to see it. I haven't seen it yet. I haven't seen it either. Actually, it is good. You don't expect the turns it takes. Oh, I can't wait. And Renee, turns are performing. Shout out. One of the greats. Oh, I don't think so, honey. Quickly, just, I thought with Renee, we learned not to comment on people's faces with the whole Jim Carrey thing. I'm like, everybody stop. The Jim Carrey thing, it was shocking to me. They're trying to couch it in conspiracy culture as well to get away with it. And it's like, no, you're still not getting away with it. That's enough. Do not comment on Jim Carrey's appearance and do not ask him about vaccines. I wouldn't. I mean, to be fair, if I were to meet Jim Carrey, the last thing I'd bring up is vaccines. I know, he's a literally comedy legend. Like, I would be like, I forgive you for everything else. All good. But if you step in front of a step and repeat, you're going to be asked about vaccines. That's just the world we live in. Okay, time to turn it over. Okay. Now, who wants to go first? I feel like yours is a good finale. Am I wrong? Sure. Because it's like meta. Sure. Or do you want to go first? No, you go first. It's meta. Yeah, it's pro Zuckerberg. Yeah, yeah, great. Yeah. Okay. This is an ad. Well, it's sponsored by meta. Sorry, this episode is sponsored by meta. Oh, sorry. Yeah, this episode is actually only going to be on threads. Transcript on threads for the first week. You want to say something? No, no, it's fine. The riff has passed. Damn. R.I.P. that riff. R.I.P. So it's you. Yeah. Here's George Tavares' I don't think so, honey. His time starts now. Little stores that don't have price tags on anything. Oh! I'm sorry. I'm walking into, let's say, a trendy menswear boutique. Okay? Sure, you're Danish, you're Japanese. We all have the right to self-actualize. I walk in. I'm a guest. I'm being looked up and down by a bunch of Wilhelmina models. Literally full-time Wilhelmina models are only doing this part-time because they want to practice being cruel to people. I'm going through, I'm seeing asymmetrical blazers, graphic tees, whatever. Suddenly, it occurs to me, I don't know what any of these things cost. I go up to the person. I say, how much is this? Suddenly, they say, like, it's nothing. Oh, that's $850. Suddenly, I have to be a Steppenwolf-level actor, and my reaction has to be, oh, well, that's around what I thought it would be. Thank you. My favorite price. Suddenly, I stop asking because I'm embarrassed. I go to the counter. Suddenly, I'm paying $800. I, sorry, this is a store with no price tags, and then I'm surprisingly paying a million dollars. What is this? The American healthcare system? What is this? A art installation that's commenting on the American healthcare system? I didn't come here to think. I came to buy a blazer. And by the way, I don't think so, honey, Patti Smith. Enough with the memoirs. We get it. One minute. Thank God she caught that straight after the minute. After the, how much did a blazer cost? You know, a blazer, I'm okay overpaying. What's overpaying? Because it's structured, it's tailoring. My issue is like, a button-down shirt should not be expensive. 100%. A t-shirt should, well, a t-shirt if it's like, you know, sort of like a Supreme collab or something, I get, but I. It's crazy when you realize what prices are for, oh, no, it's insane. Like, when I was like, all throughout our 20s, like, I'll never forget. I'm sorry, I won't do this to you again. After this. So he bought a, my sister, my beloved, my twin, went to Maison Kitsune and bought, what was it? It was like a $350 sweatshirt. And at the time, I didn't think it was possible. I shouldn't, I shouldn't have purchased it. I agree. But that's, but that, when you find out like, what a designer nice sweatshirt is, it's like, whatever. That's how much they are. That's just the reality of it at a store like that. But I was, I was of the mind that you don't pay more than $45 for a hooded sweatshirt. There's no way. But that's the voice in your head that is your mother while you're at Urban Outfitters being like, we're not, I'm not paying $100 for a jacket. Every single time I buy a pair of shoes, like, even if it's just like a normal pair of tennis shoes, I'm like, this is insane. Right. Like, I'm being robbed. Yeah, but you know what? Go to Converse. $60. $60. Oh. $60 for a classical American shoe that will, that will never go out of style. You guys were waiting for it to happen. There is a culture of silence in retail right now where that's. No, completely. Yes. Culture of silence and. And shame. Not dis or misinformation, uninformation. Yes. There's no information. I'm going to give you a line to say if you ever want to use it, it's one of my favorite bits. Whenever anyone says the price, you just look at them around the eye and you go, my favorite price. Works every time. I love it. Getting rung up. That'll be $98.42. Especially if it's too much. You just go, well, it's my favorite price. And they, they take a minute, they take a second and a half to be like, what? And then they're like, oh, he's a goof. That's so funny. He's a clown and a goof. All right. Are you ready? Yes. This is Sam Taggart. His time starts now. Forcing celebrities to be normal. I think celebrities are our weirdest people. They're completely isolated. They are unbound by the same things that we are. And we punish them when they say weird stuff. They should be allowed to say weird stuff. Timothee Chalamet should be able to say the ballet is boring. That's fine. And I think we should not attack them and our media ecosystem needs to coddle and support them and say, I want to hear what else you're cooking up in there. Yeah. Because it's sort of like a feral child. Like, it's like, you have a different brain than anyone else because you exist in like a different structure of society. And like, even like you guys, like, like Matt, like before we started, like you were talking about the vaccines and you were saying all this really smart stuff. And like, I just think you should say it on mic. Like, that's awesome that you're doing research. Like, and Bowen, like, of course, like all this stuff you were saying about Taylor Swift was like, I thought really, really smart. Like everyone, no one's above critique. So just say it on mic. I think that's amazing. So let celebrities be freaking weird. Keep Austin weird and choose Pitchfork, y'all. That's one minute. We're going to say, we think Taylor Swift created the coronavirus in Wuhan. Oh, obviously. Not in a lab though, outside. No, we think she made it. She made it with a bunch of Swedes. Well, how do you think she, she, she put narcotics into all of her songs. That's why you're all singing along. So you think she can't make the coronavirus? Yeah, well, I didn't hear me sing along, but. Well, you obviously haven't listened to the song. You haven't streamed ever more because she's obviously a witch and she said that in her heiress tour. She said she's a witch in her heiress tour? She went hand in hand? Look at this. Oh, that's so interesting. You obviously didn't go to the heiress tour. No. You would have had a great time. How do you expect to get along with the Heim girls if you're not even going to go to the heiress tour? I want to know what they're saying. I want to know what those Heim girls are saying when the doors are closed and they check for hidden mics. So you support a surveillance state? Essentially. No, the opposite. I think we have a surveillance state and we need to get the Heims in a room with no mics. But you want to know what they're saying in the room. I'm not a mic. But you're a pro mic in the room. You're a Russian plant. I'm in the room. I'm in the corner. Go ahead, girl. Get the Heim sisters together in a room. By the way, 40 seconds in, they're already doing a TikTok dance. They're perfectly synchronized. I am so blown away by their synchronization. No, it's crazy. I can only describe it as sisterly. It's almost as if they're performers. Yeah. Sips tea. I turn to my right. It's a perfect commercial for Diet Coke. That's amazing. Just like holding it at the angle. All I see is That's actually crushed Ritz crackers. All I felt was the humor and the impact. All I saw were two words. Diet Coke. Go, Bo and Yang. You really chose Target. Yep. And in a way, we all did by being in this room. I'm talking to you all. Yeah, that's right. Everyone's complicit. We are all complicit. Always. Always. Look at this. Look at this. These colors run red. We had a comment once that was like, that was like, I can't believe these people are talking about like anti-capitalism with an iHeart thing on their microphone. And it was like, chill out. We contain multitudes. Yeah. I think we all here contain even so much more than just Pitchfork and Target. Who has the most multitudes? Who has the most multitudes here? Wow. I think it depends. I'm out of the running. No, I don't think you are at all. I think I'm really out. You've got, you've got a toad. You've had a toad all day. Don't talk to him like that. Who is more protective than the other? So far, George has been more protective of Sam. Well, that's because Sam is a visitor to New York City. When I'm in L.A., Sam is more protective of me. Do you really feel that way? Yeah, Jessica Della Ferguson kept coming for George hard. Uh-huh. And then in San Francisco, you. In San Francisco, I feel like I'm protective of Sam. But then I also, at this point, every time we go, I'm like, I'm going to show you George's San Francisco. And then it's sort of like, this is the third wave coffee shop I used to go to. But it's the same when we go to Chicago, and I'm like, I love this place. And it's like, I went there once when I was 21. Like, I don't actually know. Have you been to Boston with him? We've been to Boston together, yeah. That's fun. That was fun. Here's what I don't understand. Yeah, I have a friend in town. I'm just going to show them around. Right. What does that mean? They're having sex. Honey, that means book yourself a ticket to the High Line because we're walking to the Whitney. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it means. I keep getting, like, letters from the Whitney. Like, not letters. Like, what do you call them? Like, postcards. Like, please, come on. Mailers. Yeah, I think all of New York City is. George speaks me. He knows what word I'm not. It's because we're both Greeks. That's not really. I think he's still. I think Greek, Turkish. His 23 and me came back Turkish. Yes. But, like, it's all Mediterranean. It's all Mediterranean. I mean, Greece was under Turkish rule, so that was probably your ancestors. That's why I cried your whole wedding. Yeah. Because I was like, I wish I could be a part of this culture. I'm without a culture. Just sobbing and sobbing to your family. That's actually better, though. No, you do have a culture. That's, like, two more multitudes. Disney. Okay, wait. Gotta say it. Favorite joke of all time that didn't make it into an SNL. It's this. It's Heidi Gardner in a Floribama Shore sketch. And she goes, I was born in the China part of Epcot centers, so I'm half Chinese, half Disney. That's funny. L-O-L-C. SNL can be picked for it sometimes. Oh, for sure. Epcot centers. Are you kidding me? Half Chinese, half Disney. Half Disney. Of course. Well, wasn't this great? This was so fun. It shouldn't take this long for us all to get. It's been forever. I thought you meant the episode. I was like, okay, relax. It shouldn't take this long. Yeah, we just didn't hit that laugh quota. We gotta all get together without these things. Let's go see Wuthering Heights. I actually, well, you know I already saw it. Have you? Me either. I have not seen it. Do you want to go? Yes. Let's go. I need to use my Regal membership. Always everywhere. Actually, it's my favorite album of hers. It's a great album. I shouldn't have said that. And let's see Surratt. Oh, people talk about Surratt. That's true. Clock it. So when he starts to talk about like foreign films or like, you know, sort of. Do you guys need us to leave? Because Lena is probably outside. No, no, no. Can you see my eyes? Just like, okay. Are they disappear? Well, that's kind of sometimes me like during certain subjects. Yeah. We've always said I'm the you. Yeah. But I feel like there's a, there's an inversion happening. Completely. I feel like I'm the you now. Well, there's a twist. There's something. We know. This is part of the whole thing. With one look, we know. We have our, George and I have our own thing. And also, interestingly enough, professionally speaking, Matt and I have worked together professionally and you two have worked together professionally. That's true. You and I have. But also I've worked with Matt a little. Yeah. A little. We actually have, we, we were, we giggled and gaggled. At? After midnight. Oh, yes. We've all shared space. Not just today, but many other times. And thanks for just joining us. And just having a glimpse into what it's like to have a community of guys that really support you. And, um, and, um, what if we wore Manosphere? That'd be cool. There was a point when we were all talking where I was like, are we Manosphere? In this set up, it feels a lot more Manosphere than me. I like see the video and I'm like, whoa, we look Manosphere. No, I will say that's, that's the only thing that rubs me, what I know. Right. Right. Right. I think that's the only thing that rubs me. I think that's the only thing that rubs me.