Our Wedding Hot Takes & Engagement Purgatory Advice

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Like I was fully-- >> I was the third wheel. I was part of your partnership. It was us three. >> I just felt like we were kind of at high school kickback the whole weekend. >> That was so fun to see faces from the past, and I'll be together. And it's like so fun. And you just pick up where you left off totally. >> For context, Vic and I went literally first through 12 to the same exact school and so did everyone else. I heard this phrase once that was you can't make old friends. And so I treasure my old friends so much. >> That is so true, you can't make old friends. Wait, that's kind of sad. I'm like, oh my God. But you know what's crazy is my mom always says she made her best best friends. We're like the moms of my friends. So like, of course she has friends from before that. But I'm always excited about like the best friend/old friends that will become the ones we reflect on like 20 years from now. >> Totally. Oh, I guess that's true. I guess that's true. Yeah, I guess you can always be making old friends for the future. >> Yeah. >> But I had such a good time though. I don't have any other weddings really to attend. I was talking to Max about this. We have like a, we have two friends engaged, but no weddings planned. And I have no idea when those would be, but like I don't have a wedding circuit happening. Really, I feel like I'm done for the year. And then I have one wedding in April and then one wedding in May. And then I'm done, I think. You also have two bachelors. And these are like two of your best friends. So they're like big deals. I know they are big deals. I know these weddings are like big deals. And they're literally like three weeks apart. And they're each others like made of honors. Like it's hilarious that they're really just in this together. But one of the bachelors is on my delivery due date, which, you know, I don't want to be eight months pregnant in Cabo anyway, I think that I think it's for the best. You won't be at that one. Okay, I kind of have an announcement to make. This is so random. Do you really? I didn't even know this. Are you blind? Yeah, I do. I realized I wanted to put it on our agenda for today. And I realized it like 10 minutes ago. Because I was listening back to the pregnancy announcement episode. And I had said that thing about like, oh, I'm worried people are going to judge me that we did the pregnancy reveal together. And Max wasn't there. And then I was thinking about how my goal on the real pod New Year's Eve episode with you and Natalie, either last year or the year before, was to quote mindless what people think about me. And then I was just thinking about all the times I've been on this podcast or the old podcast talking about how much I care people think about me. And I realized I'm creating this narrative. And I'm creating this identity of being someone who cares so much of people think. And my announcement is that I no longer care. Because I have decided. [LAUGHTER] Wait, me thinking like Bunkton Balance was dropping something new. Oh, you thought it was like a serious thing. I thought you were serious. OK, wait, I love this announcement, though. I am serious about this announcement. And you're making me-- No, no, this is a serious big deal. I just thought it was a product launching, not a state of mind launch. No, it's a state of mind launch that I want everyone to know. I no longer care what people think about me. And even if I, of course, do because I'm human and, of course, I think the power of words and how we portray ourselves and what we say about ourselves carries weight. And I just realized that I have been spewing this narrative. And honestly, I want to just give a huge hug to anyone who's been listening to me on a podcast for years, being like, this bitch always saying people think about her. I know, it's insufferable. And I myself am over it. So I'm over it. And I think when we tell ourselves things, we believe it. And so I no longer care. And that's going to be my new email. Great, I love that. I think that's great. I'm so proud of you. This is exciting, should we go celebrate? Maybe we should. First, I would like to have action follow. But do you know what I mean? When I think it's James Clear in Atomic Habits, the book has this whole narrative where he's like, what would you do if you were already there? So what would you do if you had already ran the marathon? You would take the stairs, you would fuel, you would have your protein, whatever it is. So it's like, how would I act if I was someone who didn't care what people think about me? What are you going to do differently? First of all, I just want to talk way less about like, if I have fears or thoughts that someone's going to think something negative of me, like, I'm not speaking that into existence. And then I also think when I get nervous about someone judging me or criticizing me or something, just like trying to flip a switch in my brain of like, we don't do that. We don't do that. We don't ruminate on that. We don't go down that lane. We just don't do that. And trying to get back to this present moment where that's actually not happening. Because it's always parasocial, I'm consciously aware of. That's why I didn't want to put Max and I finding out the gender of our kid on the internet. And I didn't want to do that sort of reveal because I was like, I won't be normal. It's not that I'm going to be inauthentic. I'm aware of cameras on me. And everyone knows how they act when a camera's on them, totally. And like, 99% of it is made up in your own brain. You know what I mean? People go to bed at night thinking about themselves. Yeah, anyone else. Great. I love that 100%. Yeah, so that was my announcement. No, there's no new booked and balanced color. Please just go by the three colors we have out. Victoria get brown dot com slash shop. Anyways, have you had any revelations recently? No, but something funny about this weekend that I meant to tell you is that, do you remember? I asked to have a sip of VIX water. And she looked at me then in the face and said, are you sick? And I was like, no. And she was like, I just don't really want to share, you know, like I'm just being really conscious. And I was like, don't be weird. I was like, I'm a blood. Don't be weird. And guess who got sick? Me. I was like, all night coughing, nodding, wood slept on the couch. She's never slept on the couch. I kept the board dog up. And I was like, you know what? That was karma. That was karma for judging VIX boundary. And now me and Marina are sick and you are not. I'm just like, I'm literally pregnant. Why would I share someone else's drink with them? Like, we have no idea. What does people do to me business? I don't know. Apparently I have dirty business. I'm so sick right now. I'm so miserable. And did you know you can't take day 12 when you're pregnant. So they're like, just use a humidifier. I'm like, no, I need drugs. What do you mean? You literally were so offended. I wouldn't share a water bottle with you. I was like, I am your, I am your other rib. What do you mean? Yeah, and you're like, and I'm pregnant too. So like, I was going to share it with you. Are you mom-shaming me? I know I was like, this is literally karma because I'm mom-shaming VIX for her germs. I'm so like not a believer in germs. Like, wouldn't I share a toothbrush when we go on trips because I always forget mine. Like, I'm so. I don't care either when I'm not pregnant. Like, I'll eat something off the floor. Like, I will, if I see a water bottle half-drink and I'm like at a party with a bunch of people I know, like, I'll drink it. Like, too. I usually don't care. I'm just like, it's not that hard for me to just get my own water in this stage of life. Apparently, it was hard for me. And I had to get my own. And now you're sick. And you know who else got sick? My mom, because it was cold, she got sick and I didn't share with her either. I saw when she went to grab the last water bottle. We were all staying together. Aubrey, with my parents, with our friend Marine. And when my mom grabbed the last communal water bottle, that's like a huge jug. And she put her mouth on and I was like, great. So I'm not going to have water for the next day. I hope you're happy thirsty, because now we're a waterless household. Yeah. No, it was full-blown karma. On the topic of weddings, even though both of ours are long gone and far over, we have some wedding. Yours is not. It was a year ago. That's relevant. I know. It just feels like another life now. I feel like I can still get away with posting the wedding video for our one-year anniversary, because I never shared that with anyone. You totally could post your video if you wanted to. I think that's my plan. I just don't want to be that bride that's, like, remember one year ago when I got married? Look at these pictures. I think you totally are fine with the one-year anniversary, the one-year-out. I, on the other hand, look at my wedding photos. And I'm like, I was a child. Child, right? Child by, for sure. I was so young. I was like, damn, I was hammered. Well, because when you're approaching 30, 25 feels like so young, so young. I know I'm like, OK. So much life ahead of you. - I know, but I'm happy you chose Max. You knew from an early age what you wanted. - Okay, do you want to start with your wedding hot takes? Also, I want to preface this with no judgment. I feel like I didn't even do some of these at my wedding or did do some of these at my wedding. So these are my newly formed opinions, but every wedding is beautiful and wonderful and incredible. - But we're gonna give her hot takes. - So my hot takes, we don't think our beautiful, wonderful and incredible. - I'll start. I'll start with my hot as take that I just, I really, I don't even think this is a hot take. If I go to a wedding and there are no vows, what am I doing here? What am I doing? You're pitching your love to me. I'm here to witness your love. Show me your love. Tell me your love. I completely agree with you. I feel robbed when I don't get to see the vows and I understand that it's really intimate and emotional and we are very outgoing people. We literally have a podcast. We put out to anyone in the world to listen to. So that's our perspective and as a guest, I'm just so sad when like we don't get them 'cause like I wanna hear just a little bit of why they love each other. You know what? If someone's gonna do a first look and do their vows intimately, can they at least write like three sentences they feel comfortable with sharing in front of everyone? So we get a little bit shared with the class. I got on a plane to see you guys get married. Now I know nothing about you. - I know nothing too much to ask for a spark note of the vows. (laughing) - Just literally a bulleted version. That should be your requirement in my opinion. - And you know what else? I never like judge the vows. No matter what the couple is, what your thoughts are going into it. Like I always cry. I'm always brought into their love. I think people think the fear is like they're gonna judge what I'm saying. And I'm like not me. Like I feel lucky to witness. - You just do private vows for us 'cause we're a big space, you know? Invite us to the first look. You won't even know we're there. - I know we're there. We literally will disappear into the background. I know, I just feel like I'm craving to know their love. And then when I don't get them. - Or put it on the pamphlet. So I just have a little, so I'm not anticipating it the whole time. Hey, by the way, we're not doing vows. You know, the professional. Whatever it is, it's so true. Because then I'm just sitting there and then when they do the rings, I'm like, "Damn it, we didn't get vows." - Put it on the invite. It might, my decided if I'm, like, if I'm going to come or not, I'm going to be like, 'cause it might determine if I come or not. - I have, I'll go second. My number two hot take is, if when I am placing steak or fish into my mouth, I'm not hearing a father of the bride's beach. I'm not hearing a best man's beach. I'm not hearing a maid of honor's beach. Something's wrong. Like, I need the speeches to happen while I'm eating. We need to kill two birds with one stone because mom needs to get on the dance floor before eight o'clock or I'm out for the night. - You're losing me, you're losing me. (laughing) - What do you mean, my asparagus is all gone? We haven't even passed the mic to anyone yet. - No, we need speeches to happen while guests are eating. Like, and I think that's just wedding etiquette. It's smart timing. That's how it should be. - Something I didn't have at my wedding and I absolutely think it's just so critical and my favorite part of every wedding is that kid who's like six to eight years old, just fucking ripping it on the dance floor and everyone's like, who is this kid? (laughing) They're all night. He's jacked up on so much sugar. Absolute party starter. Everyone, everyone needs a flower girl or a ring bearer or a cousin who's like, I don't know who he is, but he's been here all night. - And that's maybe a hot take. Is I agree that kids under the age of like four, four and under, like forget it. But like five, six, seven, like the guys lift him up on their shoulders. They spin him around. They don't not thinking about what people think about them yet and they're like, dancing crazy and it's cute. - Dude, they're so happy to be with the adults and this kid's down to go with the function. Like, he's not going to bed until his parents force him there. So, you know, I wish, I was a no kids wedding, totally understand no kids wedding with the exception of this one balleray year old that everyone needs. - Yeah. - That's a good one, that's a good one. Okay, next I would say, it's think about the guest experience and I think a lot of people don't really. And like, I think when planning my wedding, we were so like the guest experience if I was a guest, like how long am I sitting? How long am I standing? Where are you asking me to walk? You need to allow your guests to dance, like when they enter the reception. Max and I came out to levels. Aubrey and Wood came out to, was it Glantis, you and I? No, that was Jonathan and Cuppie. I don't remember, oh, accidentally in love or something like that. - No, but then you guys had a mix, you had an EDM mix. Like, I get it, you don't have to come out like raging. If you guys saw the videos of Natalie as wedding, she came out raging, loved it. Me, Aubrey Natalie all did the same thing 'cause it just like really sets the tone. But I think when you go to a wedding and you're sitting at the ceremony for an hour, then you're standing and mingling at cocktail hour for an hour and then they bring you in and you sit for two hour meal. - Wait, I did this differently. We came straight from my ceremony. We did cocktail hour and then we sat for dinner and then the dance floor happened. - You had to do that though because we didn't have the eating in the reception dance floor area, which was fine because you didn't tease me with the dance floor. When I walk in and I see the dance floor, but there's no like pop music playing yet and I have to sit and eat and no one's dancing, like that feels like you're dinging a toy in front of me. - You know what's so funny is Wood has the exact opposite hot take, he's like, I don't wanna get on the dance floor, start sweating for three songs and then sit, dripping sweat, eating my steak. I don't wanna do it. - And then but then he like doesn't have to, but I find that the weddings that last the longest and are the most fun are the ones where you give people a little taste, you give them a little break time out fuel, you bring them back, set the mood, set the tone. - Personally, yeah, I think I think, that's such a wood take. I mean, that's like wood acting like he's like a 45 year old dad. - Wood, I will say wood is a sweater. Wood at your wedding went up and showered, changed his shirt and came back down. He can't because he gets too active on the dance floor. You invite him to the dance floor, he's going hard. And then to sit him down for dinner, he's like, I need to, I'm ready now, I don't wanna eat. - Okay, well, then I guess like me and Wood can agree to disagree. - Okay, I have another question. Do you think that a bad band is better than a good DJ? - Hmm, I mean, here's my take, because bands and DJs cost different amounts. I totally understand budget constraints. My answer to this question will be, you need music. The first eight songs, I need to know all the words. You need to guarantee 80% of your guests know all the words. When they play September, when they play. ♪ Nothing I can see but you when you dance ♪ - When they play, you know, Rihanna, when they play, I need classics. And I'm not saying they have to be like of my generation. They can be oldies too. But when you start playing music right away that no one can sing along to, you know what's it? You know it's a silent secret killer of a song that dance floor in every wedding plays it and you're losing people. What? - This is so good. - This is so good. - This is so good. - Should I guess? - Sure. - What is a song that everyone plays at their wedding? 'Cause they're like, the first 20 seconds are electric, but then when we get into the verse, absolutely no one can sing along. - Tell me, I'm not gonna be able to get it. - It's the one by Beyoncé. That's like-- - I know it would be Beyoncé. - They should have done it. - Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. And everyone loves that part and it's so sick and then it goes, "Gamalaganese, no deep." - You're not. - I touch on you more more and it's kind of like, "Okay, when you leave, I'm begging you not to." - Maybe I know lyrics, but by the second verse no one knows and you're just there like, "Noon, no, no, no." Like, I need to know all the words. - That's what matters to me. So whether it's a bad band or a good DJ, the first songs have to be like household songs. - I had on my list, make the first little chunking of your wedding for all ages. You know, if you start off hot with EDM, you're losing half the wedding. And seeing the parents dance is half the fun and they can't stay late. They're not gonna be there until midnight with everyone else. - I agree, you need to think of the parents. We have to think of the parents. I started though with levels and none of the parents knew it, but they were literally like mesmerized, watching all of us kids go feral. - It's so cute. - It's so cute. - And it was one song and then we went into September. - Yeah. - And then they were brought right in. - We did the big booty mix, went into September and then they were brought right in. - No, and also like why? Tell me why someone would not start their wedding with September being the first song. - I once tweeted, I said, I don't think moms know they're legally allowed to have another favorite song in September. - I think it's such a good song. Like everyone gets going. - Every day. - We told our band like the Fert, we gave them their first. I think we, no, we gave them September. I think, yeah, I just told them September had to be the first song. That was it. And it was, you know what? We had higher attention all night long, dude. Also, that's another question I was gonna ask you. You got married so young. I felt like 1am, you ending your wedding at 1am. I was like, party's just getting started. We went back to the rooms in party. I stayed up all night. All night. Can't even imagine now. Our wedding went to one. And I remember at 11 o'clock being like, Oh my god, I don't have two more hours. I'm gonna have to leave my own wedding. I see. stayed, but I wasn't kicking the way I used to. So what time should it weddings end now? - You know what, I'm just gonna say something here in the safety of this podcast. I also felt the same at your wedding, and I had my foot stepped on like four times, and I was feigning at like 10.30, and I was like, Victoria, you absolutely cannot leave. Like you need to be here. I think that, maybe that's a hot take. If you're in the bridal party or it's one of your best friends, you don't leave 'til the bride leaves. - You do not leave. - You do not leave. To me, that's like being a really good friend is staying to the end of someone's wedding. - I think, I don't even think that's, I think that's what you agree to when you say yes, I'll be a bride's maid. That means yes, I will be on the dance floor with you, even if I don't wanna be. - Unless you're sick or pregnant. Those people are always excuse. - Even at Natalie's, I stayed. There was only 30 minutes left, and I stayed, as long as I could have. - Which is so sweet of you. - I was, well you were pregnant too, girlie. - I know, but like, you were fresh. - Four days. - Four days. - Four days. You were fresh. I was literally running in and out of the dance floor throwing up. - I know what you're getting at though, and it's like at this age and stage of life, should we be ending the weddings a little bit sooner. But you know what, I think we have to call our own bias, 'cause we had our weddings and we had them go late. And so now that we, they're not our weddings, we're like, oh, and them early. I wanna go home and sleep, but I don't think that's fair to the bride so I haven't had their wedding. I only say disagree because my two best friends who, you know, were in their freaking party arrow with me. We lived it up. They're like, I'm ending my wedding at 11. 11 feels a little late, but that's what time the band ends. - Okay. - Well, tell me really if it does end at 11. Okay, I'll keep you posted. I think it's confirmed. One of them is 11, one of them is midnight. - I think, yeah, midnight's fine. I also, it's like so expensive and you put so much into this day, like why end it early if you're throwing it? - Yeah, I think this Italian wedding I went to, I say until 138, if you're doing it abroad, I don't know why you're getting married abroad, but like if you're getting married abroad, and it late, there's a different energy in the air. Like I stayed till 130 and I didn't feel like it dragged on at all. - Yeah, anyways. I think it depends on your age. It depends on your friend group too. Big party animals. - Do you have any other hot takes? - I had wedding welcome bags. I think they're not necessary, save your budget. I agree, like if there's no welcome bag or something, like to me, that's like next level. I don't expect it. So I agree with you. I just feel like most of the stuff is junk and it goes in the trash. Like my stuff, I was like, I felt like I had to do it and I'm like, what a waste. But it depends on what you put in it. Like I agree that putting in electrolyte drinks and like a hangover packet that all goes in the trash. To me, that's just wasteful. I think if you put like a bag of chips, a bag of pretzels and some chocolate, like all that gets eaten a hundred percent. - Yeah, I put like a local cookie, which was fire, and then a bottle of 1942, and then like a pan foot and some chips or something. - I guess it does get eaten. I'm just like, is it necessary? People are growing. - Food gets eaten. I mean, I don't think it's necessary. I think that's like next level, like wedding luxury to have that for your guests. Oh, here's another one. The room block rate, it's getting out of hand. - It's getting out of hand. Like, literally, it's insane. Like, just for it to be like, and here's the hotel to stay at. And it's like, a lot of money. I just, yeah. If we're anywhere even close to four digits, like I'll be staying at an Airbnb nearby. That's insane. It is insane. - It is crazy. - It is so many weddings, and like everything's a destination wedding now, and it's just crazy. The whole wedding thing has gotten out of hand. I feel like in soon as it's gonna be chic to just a lope. Okay, my last two thoughts. Couple doesn't need to try and visit every table. That's what the welcome party is for. - I agree. If you have to say hi and go out of your way to connect with every guest that you invite personally, I think that's the classy and thoughtful thing to do. But I agree. You don't have to do it on your actual wedding. Max and I said we were gonna do that on our welcome night, and then on our wedding, we just let people come to us if they wanted. - Yeah, I would never get offended if a bride never said hi to me. Like I think it's up to the guests to go say hi to the bride. I had one wedding guest who was bitching to my mom that I didn't say hi. I'm like, I didn't see you there. Sorry, I didn't, I wasn't thinking about you on my wedding day. Crazy. That's insane. Yeah, no, I agree. They're so busy. I mean, I didn't even say hi to the bride. At this past wedding we were at on the wedding day. I of course went over and said hi at the welcome party because I wanted to just say congratulations. But on her actual wedding, I was like, I know my place. I am literally like on her list. I'm childhood friends with her groom. I'm like, she doesn't need to waste 10 seconds with me on her wedding day. - No, I know. I think the polite thing for guests to do is just, you know, unless she's your close personal friend, just give the bride some space. It's an overwhelming day. - Okay, last thing before we round this out, do you think that you need to say goodbye to the buying groom? - No, no, never say goodbye to the buying groom. - Yeah, I agree. I just Irish because then they never know how late or how early you left and they're not expecting everyone to say bye. - Bride and groom are living up on the dance floor and then Aunt Sally comes over and was like sweetheart. I just wanted to tell you what a beautiful day this was. If you might coming over here, we didn't get a solo picture together. - Yeah, leave her alone, leave her alone. - Let her breathe. - Let her have fun. She's been so long planning this. - I agree. I would say though, I understand people want to get pictures, like get a picture or two. My mom's the world biggest regret. She didn't get a picture with you on your wedding day. How great is that? - Oh my God, no. - So, yeah, my mom-- - I don't blame her for sending me a picture from like her random friend's niece's wedding. And she has a solo picture with the bride. I'm like mom, mom, just to blame me. - I know. I do think though on your wedding, you're kind of like a celebrity. You're getting, you have to sign your autographs, take your pictures, like that's like the thing. But I agree, I don't say goodbye because I just think it's not the vibe. But then I text them the next day. - Yeah, I agree. Also, last thing, sorry, big fan of wedding cake now. I was anti-wedding cake. I was like, you don't need to serve it. Love a wedding cake. I think because I don't drink now. This is literally-- - Literally, I agree with you, the last wedding that we were at, the only wedding we were at that we just, that we keep talking about. I had the cake, it was so good. And I never like cake. I think it's a pregnancy thing where I'm like, ooh, a chocolatey cake, that's so not me. It was so delicious and they had actually two flavors. They spoiled us. Speaking of that though, I don't know about you, but now that I'm like into the weeds of the second trimester, I am not having the same appetite. Like I'm almost back to pre-pregnancy appetite where I'm like, am I eating enough for this baby? - Yeah, no, I know it happens fast. And for me, it took my mind a while to catch up with my body 'cause I was anticipating my hunger for so many months. And then I forgot to eat something and I was like, oh my god, I don't feel like I'm gonna pass away. Yeah, am I safe? - It's crazy now and I was looking at some stuff and it's because it's pushing up your intestines and your stomach and so it's slowing your digestion right down, but I literally ordered Chinese food last night. I was like, this is gonna be so yummy. Orange chicken chow mein, green beans, I shit you not, I had like six pieces of orange chicken, one and a half scoops of chow mein and some green beans. And then I was like, I am so full. It was crazy. I, I gain, I mean, I feel like I've talked about it a lot so far, but I gained so much weight so fast and then literally in Italy, I didn't gain a single pound. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's just wild. Like you have a scale at home, right? - I do. - So do you weigh yourself between appointments? - Yeah, I do just because I got really nervous about how much weight I was gaining so fast and like it's not good to gain a lot of weight and the scale doesn't affect me in a way that like, it's not the number that affects me. What's affected me this pregnancy is like, this cellulate all over my legs and watching my body change so quickly week by week. It's like the number doesn't mean a thing to me. It's just, it's literally just not recommended to gain a ton of weight, you know what I mean? It's part of your overall evaluation of the pregnancy and all the different metrics. Like I literally today was like, it's so funny. I have not owned a scale in like a decade and I'm like, oh, it would be interesting to know like where I'm at right now because I know my pre-pregnancy weight. I was gonna make a video about this because I hadn't weighed myself in so many years and then I had to, I just, I didn't have to my first few appointments. I just said like, I don't wanna know what I weigh and then as I was getting hungrier and my body was changing, I was like, I think I can separate this from being a body image diaculture thing with being a like, just understanding how I'm progressing and how my body is adapting to the baby. And so I found out what I weighed. Didn't really care. Like very proud of myself that it unfazed me. It was, it was the number issue. I had always been thinking that I probably was, always add five to 10 pounds to that number you're thinking. And I'm curious when I go in next time like, yeah, where it will be at from the standpoint of like, the baby. Mine's, yeah, it's like data points. It's like, I just feel like I've had so many health issues during this pregnancy. Like I needed to make sure I wasn't losing weight when I was going through all that IBD stuff because you start losing weight during pregnancy. That means something's like really wrong. So yeah, I don't know, the numbers don't affect me but don't get me wrong. Changing bodies are hard. They are hard and everyone's different. I do think there are people who like their body does. gain like more weight than whatever the frickin' I hate the standard. You're recommended weight gain. It's like that's just not accurate for all types of people and all types of bodies. And like there's things that aren't even taken account for in that type of thing where like someone's mental health or they're coping or what they're dealing with and like it doesn't all have to be for the baby. Like you might be gaining emotional weight just with everything happening and like that's fine too. It's a huge change. Yeah. Yeah. I think this has like been one of the seasons that I'm most forgiving with myself in terms of my body or trying to be most forgiving with myself. Like you're just so petite that it's made such a difference whereas like I saw this take talk about being like hey tall girls you might have felt insecure your whole life you didn't want to wear heels you didn't want to this but when you get pregnant like you have room to carry that baby. No literally it's so true I look back and like I look at the body that I came into pregnancy with and I'm like that body can't support life like that is a small small small human like nothing on that body. So like of course like I'm getting an ass and I'm getting tits and like and this is on getting an ass. I wish you would post the picture I took of you. Dude you maybe you shouldn't we do it in the in the non-context. Yes. Can we call every I'll be pleased I'm begging you can we please put at the very end of the episode about context really good picture of me ask you guys I can tour I had no assets pre pregnancy and sometimes I look down and I'm like wow who's tits are those. No the tits is crazy. Okay if you guys are not already following the inner childish pod Instagram make sure you do because every week we post an episode without context just as a little inside joke with all of you our besties and at the end of this one we will make sure Aubrey gives us a booty pick oh my god now I'm so nervous and speaking of the mean post you'll also see this moment Vic and I had yesterday where Vic sent me a picture of myself from the weekend and said do you mind if I post this and I said no go ahead and then I said to picture back to Vic and I said do you mind if I post this which is just such a nice way of saying hey you kind of look but absolutely hideous in this picture and I don't think you're gonna like it but I would love to pose I would love to it's a really sweet moment and but you know what's funny is like in the picture I wanted to post of you like I don't think you look bad I just know you're gonna be like I don't like this angle whereas the one of me looking like an actually ripe tomato I've never been redder so it was bonded and goes I can tell tears were shed this night I was like no they weren't just like she was really red anyways okay shall we get into star six seven yes and just a little reminder star six seven is a segment we do every single week where you can call in to vent us tell us a funny story ask us advice literally whatever you want we just want you to be a part of this friendship and be able to call us too and the link for that is in the bio of the inner childish pod Instagram and it's also at the bottom of the description of every episode and it can totally be anonymous we never say anyone's name even if you give us your name we never say anyone's name hi Victoria hi Aubrey oh my goodness I love you both so much so I'm calling and because I kind of need like big sister advice and I don't have a big sister so I need advice on kind of how to navigate your mid 20s so I'm 24 and I'm finishing up PT school and by by next July I'll be taking my board and by the start of the semester I just felt like a deep-rooted sense of nostalgia like I was missing undergrad and going to parties and I was missing like the simplicity of high school and like you know getting off the bus and hanging out with my friends or even like playing on the playground or like playing sports growing up like I don't know just the idea of like simpler times and I've just been thinking about like rent and paying for my car and getting a job and I'm just really overwhelmed and honestly like sad and scared about getting older like the idea of getting older is like really scary to me and I have this amazing boy trying an amazing friends and I feel like I should be so excited about my future but I'm just like really sad and mentally overwhelmed at this time of my life and I just need advice on how to navigate it like I think I'm having a little bit of a quarter-life crisis so any advice you to can give would be amazing I mean I relate like who doesn't yearn for the simpler times I I also really I think being back with our high school slash childhood friends this weekend too it's just like we should just get on our bikes and just do whatever we wanted all the time and now I feel like it's just like a constant to do list of actual responsibilities I feel like my advice because I feel like in my early 20s when I first started my job I was I was aching for the time I would like have it all figured out because I feel like a don't hood is just figuring it out like all I wanted I was like okay like knowing what my life will look like and knowing I have it all figured out like I can't wait for that time because if I can't have the simpler times that I'm gonna have the time when I all like it's all coming together and like I think when I've realized is like no one ever has it all together and like it's you slowly put pieces in the place of like the life that you want but I'm sitting here literally looking at this pile of baby stuff and I'm like you're like life is just constantly not knowing what's coming and like that's scary adulthood is scary but mm-hmm mm-hmm and if you notice something I've picked up on with everyone who yearns for their childhood or they say like I want to go back to summer 2016 or I want to go back to 2003 it's everyone wanting to go back to when they were young because we didn't have the consciousness to like worry we didn't have the responsibility to deal with our own finances we didn't have the responsibility of like taking care of ourselves or taking care of another person and so I think that's just always like the beauty of childhood that like all adults will reminisce on because we didn't understand like how we didn't have the responsibilities or the pressure yet but I would just say like I think there are ways to still have fun and be playful in adulthood I think of this word playful all the time like you know the neighborhood Max and I lived in before he bought the house I would walk and there was a trampoline in someone's yard and I was like it would be so fun to jump on a trampoline I knocked on the door and was like hi I'm so sorry to bother you I was just on a walk and I saw your trampoline and I was wondering if I could jump on it and the guy was like knock yourself out and I'm there's me like 27 jumping on this man's trampoline why are you the same person you were when you were literally five years old because you would have walked up to literally anyone's house and they're like hi I see you of a trampoline can I go jump on it I mean like I love that yeah I think playing is important and I just I always think about if someone came to me if someone knocked on my door and said can I shoot on your basketball hoop we don't have one I'd be like sure you know so I think ways to play when we moved into this house the neighbor girl asked me if I'd play volleyball with her and it's like do I have work to do yes do I have other things I could do with my time yes like but like is putting my phone away and peppering with this girl for 40 minutes gonna be like so refreshing and I'm not gonna wear shoes and I'm gonna have my feet in the grass so find ways to play and stay playful and stay childish go to a pottery night with your friend and paint something like I go to Michaels and get an arts and craft like I everyone now calls out the whimsy but like keep the whimsy keep the whimsy I love that that's great advice and everyone always figures it out everyone figures it out it all ends up making sense I love the Steve Jobs quote of you can't connect the dots looking forward you can only connect the dots looking back it's his Stanford commencement speech but I know you have that test coming up you have a lot you're navigating new job all that like it all ends up making sense so just trying to be present throughout the process hi I'm just here to yap about engagement purgatory I am currently in engagement purgatory and it is horrible I feel like I'm going nuts all the time I feel like I start arguments all the time over it and I know it's silly and I know I need to be patient but it's a really freaking hard and I was just wondering if you guys were ever in engagement purgatory and if you were how you dealt with that thanks love you both all good love you too love you too girl all girls are engagement purgatory wow what a relatable state of life to be in I feel like my biggest advice for engagement purgatory as long as you're talking about it and as long as you know it's in process you have to sit back I know that's so hard but don't put your friends in the position where you're like has he talked to you yet has he asked you yet because all you're doing is forcing your friends to lie to your face forcing him to lie to your face I couldn't relate more I know it's so hard but you have the trust that he's gonna do it I take like a more cynical approach and I'm like I don't think we can trust he's gonna do it like I think of people who I know have like been in really long boyfriend girlfriend situations and one of the engagement and like I literally I didn't give Max an ultimatum like I never said I'm gonna leave you and I knew we were super strong but I was like I want you to know that like my life plan is that we are engaged by the end of this year like I gave a deadline wait me too no I think as long as that deadline's in place like yes then deadline then leave it the deadline has to be in place you know why I say that because I think some of these guys they are either not ready they're never gonna I'm sorry this is so general this is not about your relationship I'm sure he is at all. But I think I've seen there are some guys out there who just keep dragging their feet. It's it's not really what they want. And then someone's heart gets broken. And it like I said in the last voicemail, it all ends up working now. And if that's ever happened to you, you end up learning from it. You find your person. It all works out. I just think depending on the situation. And then you also don't want to force someone to propose to your marry you because they still call off the wedding, right? So I just think, sorry, I've taken this so extreme. No, no. My point is like really have a conversation where you feel you've had that eye contact and that genuine of like, I want to spend my life with you. And they're like, and I want to spend my life with you. And I see that doing that as a married couple marriages important to me. And they agree marriage is important to me. And I see this happening at this point in time. I think bang, bang, bang, those three things. And then I agree we can let go. It's on them. Let them have their ownership and, you know, an autonomy over planning it and having some pride in that. But make sure being bang, boom, those three things happen. I was going to say I feel like I didn't even like preface with there should be a deadline because I'm so neurotic and type A that of course there's a depot in place. But I, I, I was fooled. Engagement, purgatory sucks. Like I thought what was in proposing for another eight months. I was like, wow, he really is just a boy. Yeah, little did I know. Yeah. And, and, and make sure you're communicating with your friends because some people, some boys are just boys. So communicate with your friends. I'd like to be engaged by this date. Make sure Jimmy is on top of it. But you literally just said, don't put this on your friends to be pestering him. Communicate. No, no, no, no, I'm saying communicate with your friends. But then don't ask your friends. Has he talked to you? Has he done this? Don't ask follow ups. Like, because I've been doing this. Yeah, make sure friends where I'm like, literally straight up lying to their face. Like, I don't know. He hasn't talked to me yet. Yeah. Make sure everyone's locked in. No, I agree. Because then you're just like cornering them and they have to lie to you. Yeah. Yeah. So being, being boom, boom, that's the friends. Yeah. There we go. Boom. Okay, amazing. Shall we do something beautiful? Every episode we end with something beautiful just to help, you know, keep optimistic and positive and grateful. I would love to go first. Okay. My something beautiful is picking up Hank yesterday or two days ago or whatever that was. And I took him for an hour and a half walk this morning. We had wonderful one on one time. And I'm so happy to have him back home. Oh my God. I'm so happy for you. He's literally the cutest. You know, every day I'm like, should I have taken a puppy from that litter? Yes. It's okay. Okay. Love that. My something beautiful is that my mom actually had a neck surgery this morning. And it's one of those things where they're like, the doctor's a professional. They do this all the time. It's super routine. But I'm like a neck surgery. Like she got these like screws put in her neck to its intense. And you know, we were following her energy of it. Like, you know, she's like, it's going to be fine, whatever. But then she's like, in it. And it's like, my dad's like, all right. It's 90 minutes from now. And it's like 90 minutes, two hours. I'm like, okay, freaking give me an update. Like, I'm calling my dad and everything went great. Great. She's recovering right now as we speak. But just so blessed and grateful that those doctors took great care of her. There were no issues during her surgery. And yeah, something else back to the very beginning of this episode where I was like, just being someone who I don't care people thinks, just deciding who you want to be and speaking it into existence. I also want to be able to get lit up more by just like the simple gratitude of like any day you wake up and all the people you love are happy, healthy and alive. You should be skipping down the street. Like it's the best fricking day of your life. You know, I know it's so true. I love that. And I'm so happy for your new MO. I know. We'll see how it goes. I can't wait. It's going to go great because that's what I'm speaking into existence. Exactly. It's going to go great. Who cares if it does or doesn't. Not you. I don't even care what I think. Okay. Love you all. See you next week. Bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of inner childish. Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen so you never miss an episode. Oh, and follow us on Instagram at inner childish pod so you always get the behind the scenes. We're so so grateful for you. See you next time.