Our Most Embarrassing Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, and Frida Mom Scandal

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Don't mess with lunch. Honestly, I love that. Three meals a day is crazy. It's crazy. With toddlers, they don't eat that much food. Their marketing and their branding on their packaging is very sexual. Is it enough for you guys to not buy Freedom Moms anymore? Welcome back to Always Here. We're your hosts, Abbey Howard. And Abbey Howard. And we are here once again to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor. Should we just say the whole thing together? Yeah, I feel like I have it memorized at this point. Yeah, hey, we're getting professional here. I'm down. I like it. Okay, we have a big week, I feel like. I feel like we have a million things to talk about. Honestly, I could yap a long time today. I know, we got a lot of big segments. I'm excited. We do, we do. Let's just kick it off with what's been going on in our life. First of all, we had a birthday girl. In the house, Abbey is now 21 years old. Oh, a child. Such a baby. She's actually 25. I almost texted you happy 26th birthday. It's a good thing I didn't. 25 now. Wow. It was good. It was my first birthday as a mom, so that really changes things. That's sweet. Abbey came over and watched Brielle that night, so Blake and I got to go out to dinner. We had a really fun recording day on my birthday, which was kind of fun. Oh, yeah. We had a fun recording day. Mm-hmm. A video will come out soon, I'm sure. We brought a lie detector in. Oh, yeah. Matt asked him when to do that. It was crazy. Caleb and I was like, "What are we talking about?" I was like, "I literally have no idea." No, we had questions prepared for you guys if you wanted to do it. If you wanted. I actually have them in my bag right now. Oh, I'm sorry. I still like to see those questions. It was very last minute. It was very intense. It was very last minute, very intense, but it was funny. It was a fun day, and now Addie's 25. I stopped aging mentally at 25, so I think 25 is a great year, and I think I just sat on that one for a while. Yes. I'm sitting on 23. It's too. I think it's too young. I think I've said that before. 23? I keep telling people like, "Yes, we're in our young 20s," and then I'm around 23-year-olds, and there is a stark contrast. Yeah, you feel it. Yeah. I'm like, "I am not 23." I feel that. I'm like, I don't feel like I could say that yet, but sometimes I'm around 20 and 21-year-olds, and I'm like, "I'm starting to feel older than you." Maybe it's because I have a baby now, and I've been married for a few years. It's still the freshness of all of it, but I'm like, "Wow. I am getting older." I really don't know how to talk to high schoolers. I feel like they're the hardest group. I think in my head, I'm like, "My peers," and then I'm probably like, "The old lady." I think middle schoolers, I feel like, are harder to talk to. Really?. than high schoolers. I feel like middle schoolers are just children. Babies. Yeah, they're so babies, but then I look back, or I think back to what I used to talk about, think about in middle school, and I'm shook into my core. It's not instant. I remember I switched from a Catholic elementary school to public school, and I just learned so much that first week. What's wild is that I went to public school the whole time, and I never learned anything. Never learned anything. It's such a bubble. That was good. So, happy birthday to Addie. Thank you, guys. Yeah, our in-laws came in town this weekend, me and Abby's in-laws. We had a busy weekend. I mean, it was so fun having them here. Yeah. You guys were gone for a lot of it. We were gone for three weeks. Three nights. We actually came back early because we were just like, "We missed the kids." Yeah. Three nights is really the max, I feel like, and we got there late one night, but no, it was good, and it was busy, and then it was the perfect amount. It started to just feel like a good time to leave and come back home, but we went to a marriage conference, learned about money. I hate talking about money. Excuse me, what did you learn? I learned that we do need to have a budget and talk about that. I know, it's so important. I talk about it all the time on my accounts. Every time Kayla brings it up, I'm like, "Oh, look at the budget." It pushes me into a fear space with money, which is supposed to be the opposite. If I actually have this conversation, I wouldn't feel that way. Right. We do need to do that, and so we have it on the calendar for the top of March to do, and hopefully, we'll start doing that monthly. Half of it was money, and then half of it was marriage-specific, and I told you on Sunday that I was like, "The line that we learned and took away from it is to say, "I'm not going to take it away from you." I'm going to take it away from you. I'm going to take it away from you. So Caleb just replaced it. I know. It never smelled, thankfully. Yeah, at least not that I knew of. No, my disposal smells and it works. Yeah, yeah. It's impressive. So he did a lot of things around the house, which was great. Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. All right, that's enough of that. I am really anxious to talk about this. Here's a tip. Just pick your favorite teams and get automatic live updates. Without even knowing their schedules. And when your team scores, it shows up right on your iPhone lock screen. Making it easy to check in any time. So rule the group chat and download Apple Sports for free on the App Store. Or find it on your new iPhone. Wow, this is, wow, that's crazy. Yeah, we told you what it was, which is against the rules. Well, I suggested it. You did. This is when I knew what was happening. I had a little extra screen time. Oh, Abby's back online? Just in Nashville. I really got to get under control again, though, because I was like, just without kids. Yeah. I was like, I'm just going to scroll. I'm just going to scroll. And I don't actually fully understand what's happening, but I think I get the gist of it. Same, yeah. We're talking about the Freedom Mom scandal and everything going on with their company and their marketing tactics, because they are salacious. You would have thought that their product was like an adult toy of some sort. I know. So, okay, let's give a little recap for the people that maybe don't know what's going on. Freedom Mom is a company that does a lot of baby products, postpartum products. It's for moms. Super, super popular. That's all they do. That's all they do. Right? And they're very good at what they do. Their products are amazing. I have Freedom Moms of everything. Yeah. I love, love, love the snot sucker. I think it saved my kids' lives multiple times. I'm not kidding. That's a lot. I think it gets the snot out of their brains. It's really effective. So, I feel like it's been a little disheartening. We had all their things. We had the nail clippers. The postpartum. Well, first of all, the postpartum kit. A lot of their breastfeeding things, like the warmers, the pads, all that stuff. We had the baby nail clippers. Mm-hmm. We had the thermometer. Mm-hmm. Everything. Yeah. So, they're very successful company. And I feel like it's just started to come to light that their marketing and their branding on their packaging is very sexual, which I've never noticed before. Never noticed it. And I have- We're so tired. Who's looking at that closely? And also, it's a baby product. Like, I'm just not expecting anything exciting on the packaging, to be honest. I always thought it was, like, cheeky and fun. Yeah. But I never thought it was- Gross. Talking about threesomes. Right. And pulling out and- It's so crazy to think about. I'm confused why it's just now- I can't even say it without, like, feeling disgusting about it. I'm confused why it's also just now becoming, like, a- Like, why are we- How are we just noticing this? And also, what about just- Maybe just someone brought it up? I don't know. I thought it was AI, to be honest, when I first saw these. This could be real. I literally was like, that's not real. I've used- You know what I mean? And some of these posts that have come to light are from 2020. That's what I heard. Like, the one that I thought was really crazy, there's a picture of a baby. It's a cartoon, and it's a rectal thermometer, and it says, the closest your husband will ever get to a threesome. That was the caption on their Instagram post. That's crazy. That's crazy. So crazy. Yeah. So, I feel like they're definitely come under fire. They're doing a Mardi Gras campaign right now, which I actually- I don't agree with it, personally. I don't agree with their decisions here. But I actually think it's kind of interesting, and I think it's appropriate for the setting of Mardi Gras. They're doing a- They're trying to, like, get away the stigma of breastfeeding being weird in public. Yeah. Which is great. Yes. And so, they're saying, if you can flash your boobs at Mardi Gras for beads, then you can be able to put your boobs out to breastfeed. Totally agree with that. Yeah. I don't think that's, like, inherently wrong. I did block them on Instagram when I saw the post, because their first post on their feed was just a great post. A girl flashing her boobs at Mardi Gras. Full boobs on Instagram. The last two posts are both censored. Like, I can't click on them unless I click. I would like to see the content. And they still have them up. Yeah. And they haven't posted anything since a week ago. Yeah. They've been coming under a lot of heat. Yeah. I just think it's a little concerning. I understand the marketing mind behind it. Like, hey, sex sells. If you do things that are outrageous, it creates a lot of content that people then talk about, which then promotes sales. So, I understand, like, the rage bait side of it. I understand. I understand, like, the wanting to get people talking side of it and being bold. But I do feel like it's missed at work. And I also think about, like, the Balenciaga scandal a few years ago, where they did the same thing. And I think it's different when it comes to kids. Like, you can't be really pushing the boundary in this realm when it comes to children. I just got chills. You mentioning the Balenciaga thing? Yes. Do you remember that, Abby? I don't know enough about it. They had a campaign that was really. It just promoted. It looked. It made kids look like they were in really inappropriate, like, S&M-like type stuff. It was really inappropriate. So, yeah. I just feel like it's kind of tone-deaf. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. I think. I was actually thinking about that. I am not one to ever really, like, be a canceler. I will still buy the snot sucker. But if there's two products next to each other, and one is a Freedom Mom, and one is a different brand, and they're the same quality, I'll go with the other brand. I'll probably still get the. I just. I did really like the product. I mean, I. Again, it's. I don't like what they've done, but also, I think I probably will still buy it. Yeah. Maybe the same. Yeah. I mean, I haven't used a lot of that stuff, because it's, like, all mostly baby. But I also remember being, like. That was usually one of the only retailers that sold that category in-store. So, I feel like it would require an extra step. I think, for me, and more specifically, what I'm saying is, like. The postpartum packaging. Like, that was so great. It literally is a diaper caddy with all the things in it. Yeah. You just put it on there. Or the breast stuff, that you can just get a package of all the things you need. And I'm sure there are other people who do that as well. And so, I'd be open to it. But I've been seeing people throw away the things they currently have. Oh. I mean, I understand what people do. I'm like, yeah, if you want to, do it. You know? I agree with that decision. I think there's, like, a huge market now. Like you were saying, Addie, there aren't a lot of other brands that do these kits. That do. So, if you're a brand that. That wants to step in the market, now there's kind of a gap. Freedom Mama's been pushed to the side a little bit. You can take over. And do it better. Yeah. This isn't something you really forget. Like, I feel like this is something you're going to kind of remember. It is so interesting that they probably had this on their marketing for a long time. And we haven't noticed it yet. I feel like the most crazy things, though, were on their Instagram. Right. Which I didn't follow or, like, look at closely. Yeah, I never did. Um, but you see this pattern brought throughout their, like, whole thing. Like, what was it? That's what I was saying. A lot of their captions and their content is kind of in that, like, joking about, like, things sexually. And so, it's interesting that we've never known. 446,000 people follow their Instagram. Which is. I'm sure has been dropping. I'm sure people are unfollowing. So, I can only imagine how many people were following before. I mean, I'm sure it started just as, like, funny parent humor stuff. Yeah. Which was a great tactic. And then, I probably. Probably just went too far. That's what this says. It says, others are saying the brand intended to use adult humor to make light of the realities and frustrations of parenting, not to sexualize children, but acknowledge it cross-aligned for many. Yeah. Which, I don't. Have they apologized yet? Not on Instagram. Okay. That's a bad look. Okay. Well, the company has said so far, at the moment, Frida Baby has not issued a detailed public apology addressing all the specific claims. And that's, if we're telling people today's date, that is Wednesday the 18th. Okay. That's not something we think. Well, we're going to keep the conversation going for at least another week. Yeah. Because this will be posted a week from now, but. Yeah. The things that really bother me, like the boob stuff, I'm like, yeah, I think breastfeeding should be normal. Yeah. Like, I think that. I just didn't like the sexual nature of it. This. The thermometer, the threesome thing is so beyond inappropriate that it's like, how are we just now bringing that. Like, that's. It's crazy. It makes me actually, like, I feel like I could. Like, it brings up so many, like, anger, like, deep sadness, just like, it's like, that should be the safest person is that baby's dad and mom. Right. And, like, that is just not. Yeah. That is so horrifying. No. Whose brain even goes there to think of making that joke. I don't know. And so. Uh-huh. Yeah. What do you think if they rebranded their. Because, again, you just talked about cancel culture and being like, okay, I'm never going to buy them ever again. Yeah. What if they come out there, like, we see at this cross line and they change their packaging? Like. I think that's great. Is that. I think it's always good to. For people to be able to, like. I understand. I feel like. Remember the Paul brothers? I feel like Logan and Jake Paul talked about this a lot. Sometimes you just get blinded in the pursuit of a goal. Oh, yeah. And you just lose sight of your North Star. And sometimes you just take things too far. And so I think it's. That is where I think cancel culture can sometimes be good. It's like. Not cancel culture, but I think calling out a company when they have crossed the line and taken it too far, it's good to help point them back. Right. No, I would still love. And give them an opportunity to apologize. I would still buy their product for, like, a future baby. But I. Like you said, if there was, like, a thing where I was like, oh, there's both, I'd maybe opt for the other one. Uh-huh. Just. I don't know. I think about Scrub Daddy because Scrub Daddy has. I think they have very similar marketing tactics to Scrub Daddy. You know the sponges? Yeah, but it's a sponge. That's what I'm saying. It's like the product is so different that with Scrub Daddy, it's, like, funny. It makes sense. But for a baby product, it's like. The most precious, innocent life form. Right. on this planet. Right. Wasn't there another one? another one i feel like there was another there was like the yeah she did post other options for like their signature products oh who did her name is jordan lee dooly do you follow her i don't follow her but i know she is she um has like other baby brands that like have like similar nasal aspirators or thermometers or like when windy pipe alternatives which is like their gas reliever and postpartum care alternatives as well oh which i feel like that's for me what was the was the main thing i really liked was the postpartum like women's care which at that point i'm like we can make some like jokes about that that's just us and our body even still like maybe not but like that's fine it's really crosses the lines exclusively with the baby thing for me yes yeah i would agree i would agree i only really use their snot sucker see i didn't like that because i always just felt like snot was gonna get in my mouth i have not used a snot sucker ever well brielle's nostrils are too small you also have to change those you're supposed to change those are single use yes i didn't realize that for a long time and i just couldn't keep up with the single use thing it's not a single use for me okay i do change them out frequently no not frequently every once in a while but that's what got me when they said that there was like a nasal aspirator well no one should be trying those anyway exactly it's fine but yeah once i said it was single use i was like oh i'm out i like the bulbs just because you know well i would say that was a marketing fail marketing fail lesson learned everybody doesn't learn want to be the one who's always in the know about the game the scores the plays here's a tip the apple sports app just pick your favorite teams and get automatic live updates without even knowing their schedules and when your team scores it shows up right on your iphone lock screen making it easy to check in anytime so rule the group chat and download apple sports for free on the app store or find it on your new iphone you know i feel like we all fail oh we all i'm not comparing us to freedom mom but we have some mom fails too sure and so do you guys and you guys were generous to share some of your mom fails so we thought it'd be funny if you we shared some of the ones that you guys submitted and then we'll talk about our mom fails and then we'll give some of our mom hacks fun i love a good mom fail thank you if we can't laugh about some of this stuff we're we're gone we're losers we're done we are done the biggest fail of the fall that's the biggest fail because no one's a perfect parent we i feel like everyone is the first to say that but sometimes we get a little bit ashamed it's true but let's just laugh together do we want to start with our fails or their fails let's start with some of their fails okay this is from jessica she clipped the binky clip onto her son's skin when he was two months old that's actually a really sad one is it like screaming you don't know why oh that one's a bummer that was sad that one's a bummer this one just says it's from kinsey it says bought our kids ipads thumbs down that's all that is something that i that's a hard and fast rule hey i don't blame you i don't blame you i feel like our phone was acting like that for a little bit like in the car just to get them to like stop screaming and then we had to really nip that in the bud because i was like this is no different than an ipad i'm handing you my phone right and so it's just a it's a tough one to take back is the problem time is hard to reel back in she said that's all you live and you learn kinsey you do live and you learn uh this is mariah this one's a little crazy she said i put addy's lips in it this is crazy i put cayenne pepper on my nine month old food to get him used to spice quote i def traumatized him there's something to that though there was a little girl that i babysat her family was indian and so their cuisine was different yeah if you have spicy cuisine you can't eat spicy food you can't eat spicy food you can't eat spicy food you gotta get your kid used to it she was way more tolerant of it than i was we were eating fish she was like one we were eating fish and the mom also left enough food for me it was a more of like a mommy's helper situation i was there the whole time oh fun and so i was eating my fish and i cayenne pepper's really spicy so spicy that's a crazy i mean chili pepper would or chili powder would have been like still kind of spicy but i ate my fish and i was like literally felt like there's steam coming out of my ears i had no tolerance i had the whitest food ever growing up and i literally did not know how to ask this woman for water i go to the bathroom the door is cracked i'm drinking from the bathroom's tank and she comes in she's like oh i'm sorry i'm like i will never forget that i was humiliated meanwhile the one-year-old's housing yeah she loves the fish she loves it and we had the same fish she's like more cayenne mom she can't even talk and she's just eating such spicy food than me but i mean that's hilarious maybe not spice i don't know caleb tried to give cj hot sauce and yeah i think he didn't like it either just like a little dollop on his pinky and um i don't know i have like the mildest tongue and i think my son has inherited yeah we gave him that elote chip from trader joe's and he started crying he started crying he's like rubbing his tongue trying to get it off it was really sad that was also yeah that was also good we've all been there mariah this one is from mama converse my daughter ate an entire tub of margarine while i had a shower diaper was bad oh no i know but honestly you're like what's when you're gonna wear our odds here i'd rather shower honestly that's what's so scary i just would sprint you're in the shower for five minutes and you come out and you're like what am i gonna find i'm scared and when it's quiet it's worse oh you know it um this is mazzy she said i hid my toddler's valentine's candy so he forgot about it and i eat some each night everyone does that i've done that uh this is from sally i dropped my phone on my baby's head during a three and feed i've done that before really i feel like i probably have too oh that one's sad that is so sad what a bad wake up call i feel like in middle school i used to do that where i like i felt like this and just yeah it's the worst it's just so dumb like why did i do that poor baby my son grace this is from gracie my son was crawling around making a sucking noise and i thought he just learned a new sound then he coughed a leg flew out the kid was sucking on a cricket for like an hour he coughed and a leg flew out he was sucking on a cricket i mean there could be worse things i think there's good protein yeah that feels that feels actually great for him this one's from emory it says breastfeeding a blanket in the middle of the night not my baby lol that's sleep deprivation okay with vivian i was trying to put her pinky in her mouth but she was the best and i kept trying to get it i was like why is she not taking it i open my eyes i look over i'm putting it in her ear she's like that's not gonna do it auger said my son was on my lap a spider crawled onto his hand i shoved him off the floor so fast that's just what i was saying because you can't slow it down once it started i mean honestly good reaction time this past weekend at my house i was like what kind of bug is that and you just go that was so aggressive i'm not afraid of bugs are you no yeah no that wouldn't what kind of bug is this a dead bug i think it's funny that we're reading these because it's all because people are also recognizing their fails it's not like they're like this is a great thing i did hey thank you guys for sharing that ideal okay this is a longer story that someone submitted i couldn't find out where my pads and tampons were going for three months straight if wow every month i thought every month i thought i was stocked up for the next month and yet somehow they were always completely gone when i needed them this week we had painters come in to paint a few rooms they ended up having to move a few pieces of paper and i was like oh my god i'm gonna have to paint a few rooms and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna have to paint a few rooms and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna have to paint a few rooms and i'm like oh my god i'm gonna have to paint a few rooms of furniture and i was helping move some stuff out of the way when one of the guys moved our coffee table the coffee table is pretty big but also super low to the ground so you can't really look under it underneath was a massive pile of all my missing products i kid you not half a year's worth apparently my toddler had been transporting my stuff from the bathroom drawer and i'd been shoving it under the table for safekeeping or something the guy was obviously taking it back he just tried to pretend it wasn't there and stepped over it all i was mortified anyways make sure you don't wait three months to vacuum under any piece of furniture especially if you've had toddlers it's hilarious the movie guy's like oh sorry excuse me that was a thing at disney because in the women's restrooms at disney they have free feminine products yeah griffin oggy think they're souvenirs yeah of course it's like pushing the button and getting them and i'm like those are for women right those are for women right back dang what an expensive hobby that kid had taken all your time okay she's at my besties motherhood mishap she was cleaning the bathroom in the new house they had just bought and her one-year-old son was playing behind her when she turned around she found him playing with the toilet brush and put putting it in his mouth but the worst part is it was the previous owner's toilet brush not even their own poopy germs that is so bad i'm dying that is so bad i'm dying i oh my god no i think i i don't that was would be a kill would have to handle that one i can't tell you how many times as a parent i say you have no idea where that's been from the grand you have no idea you have no idea what it's been um okay this one says when i went to cut my daughter's nails for the first time oh so many of these learning lessons i ended up clipping part of her finger so much blood she was fine i ended up passing out twice seeing all her blood oh my gosh oh my gosh this is coming from a nurse who has been elbows deep inside of woman's ears it's your own kid baby you're just like i know i think about that all the time i'm like i'm not grossed out by bloody things or gashes like i love saying that but i imagine it on cj and i immediately want to throw up i know okay last one my husband forgot to put a diaper on our baby before bed one night we didn't realize until i woke up to feed her at 2 a.m and couldn't figure out why she was all wet last night mad did that last night i didn't put a pull-up on griffin the first diaper that i ever put on cj right after he was born um i put it around his thighs and not even cover his butt and caleb lifted him up and goes what are you doing i go i just had surgery i just had surgery i don't know oh thank you guys for sharing those those are awesome we had some relatable yes so relatable i feel like we've all done some of these um so we thought we'd share some of ours here's my first mom fail okay i think you've heard this story before our backyard is very safe and so i'll just let cj go out you the doors and just play in the backyard and he was maybe like one and a half i would never put his shoes on him to go outside because that keeps him away from the dog poop and the rocks so he just goes on the turf barefoot and he's usually concealed well this day i put his shoes on him i don't know why and i let him and lewis run out the door this was recent no he was like one and a half oh um i let him run out the door i go into my pantry to grab a snack to bring outside with me i look out the window of my pantry that goes to my backyard and all i see is cj's hand and my horse of a dog's pee rod just just he's peeing so hard and cj's hand is he's just sticking it in his stream and i like run out there to go cj no and he looks me dead in the eyes and one word goes hot probably was hot so he immediately got a bath he's just covered in so gross it was so gross i said okay no more of that no more i will be out there immediately with you dang it no shoes honestly him and lewis go out and shifts and go out and shifts this one's not even funny this one just still makes me sad oh great okay it's different vibe everything's fine but okay so one of our kids is sleeps like a rock and one of our kids not so much and so we never like our youngest just like doesn't wake up in the night like consistently never does one night we heard him make like a couple sounds look on the monitor don't see anything and then he just went right back to sleep it wasn't like he was even crying but he just kind of was like making sounds which was really unusual because he like goes to sleep stays asleep the whole night right that next morning when i get him out of his crib puke everywhere oh i was so sad oh he's just sleeping in it oh he's just sleeping sleeping in it sleeping in it it smelled so bad gosh i was like buddy oh it makes me so sad and so now i'm like that just makes my anxiety with this freaking sleep and monitor thing just so much worse yeah and so after that every time i'm like go check on right now right now he's like he literally just sneezed like everything is fine but like i just felt so guilty that he like slept in that but yeah i actually as a kid did that i was a little older i remember throwing up um around me and my mom came up the next morning because i guess i normally wake up earlier i did not come down so she finally came up to check on me and she's like when i was coming up the stairs i was smelling like bad smells and i was laying there fully awake with my hands in the air and she goes abby why didn't you come get me and i look at her i go i didn't want to get my hands dirty so i just laid in my i'm covered covered in vomit but i didn't want to get my hands dirty oh my gosh okay this next um mom fail this happened recently actually we went to the magic house um in st louis over winter break did i tell you this story maybe and they have this thing called uh it's like a super slide oh i heard this from theresa story it's for ages three plus cj is two and a half and he's like a big kid so he was a little scared so we were encouraging it we're like cj you're gonna do great buddy you can go down the slide it's gonna be so fun you go down slides all the time it's a three-story tunnel slide it's aluminum it's large well and as you go down the steps it has windows so as a parent you can watch your kid as they're going down each level the visual image just came well because we went on the same slide a week later or whatever it was yeah so i was like oh my gosh i tell you what happened okay so we're like cheering them on we're encouraging we're saying cj you got this buddy be brave we send him down the slide we start walking down the first flight display window big massive display window i just see a washing machine kid tumble down and ah it's aluminum it's aluminum cj's tumbling down this slide screaming she's just like a flash of the pan just flashing past me just tumbling child and i go oh my gosh you're going on flights of stairs it's three stories three flights of like three big stories so i'm running down the stairs i'm yelling to my sisters at the bottom i go cj's he tumbled down the entire slide he my sister's at the bottom to catch him she says he comes down head first laying on his back okay he started feet first forward how did that even happen i think he put his feet down and tripped over him i felt horrible so we only went down once only went down once and i said we're never doing that again we were stuck in that side for a really long time oh my gosh it was so it was like a movie like just a picture you look it's just a flash of ah like down the window it was horrible teresa made this wait was teresa there uh no you must have told me this i did tell her about it yeah yeah oh okay this one was this one was so bad okay let me preface this by saying we don't have nerf guns in our house i'm not strongly opposed to them but i just feel like it's something that once we introduce oh you're never going back never going back and it will be i will find bullets everywhere and i just feel like we need to have more conversations about them because they can actually seriously hurt your eye man i got really hurt by nerf i know i'm kind of anti and so and i don't even know but like little boys tend to just create guns out of anything shooters i'm like they just made up the word shooters i know i feel like it will happen eventually but let me just say our kids had not seen a nerf gun before we're playing at someone else's house and griffin brings it up to me and he's like mom like i want to play with it and he didn't know what to do and i'm like oh buddy look and i'm like i show him my gun and i'm like you just push this just shoot a nerf ball it's so stupid no one told me he's bringing a locked and loaded nerf gun to me he brought it to you and he's asking you to shoot him no he's like how do you use it he didn't even ask me just he certainly didn't ask me to shoot him but i'm like oh buddy look and see this i literally cry i feel like it's really fun you just i don't know i don't like this toy the way he looked at me the shock i'll never forget it it was literally like my old mom the betrayal betrayal he felt i'm laughing but also i was like oh my gosh oh my god the way that he just literally looked at me like my own mother would betray me like this i was like i'm so and i was like and that's a really good lesson never aim it at your face never aim in that people's face i don't even i was at someone else's face they went there's a witness i was like oh my god oh my gosh sorry about that buddy thank goodness i didn't get his eye that's so funny that's so funny you know why that's funny because we all do it i was like oh buddy let me just i was trying to show cj how to use one of those punch balloons it's on a string okay i didn't hit him but i go cj look and i went boom and it just broke my chandelier that light went pop it's so fun i had it for two seconds i go that's an outside balloon buddy oh my gosh that was so that's a good one thanks for sharing that yeah a vulnerable moment thank you for your transparency okay so this other one was recent cj transitioned from his crib to his big boy bed and you know they have to learn how to sleep not moving in all directions at night so you get in the pillow and the blanket and i was like well it's a nap first so it's fine if he doesn't sleep well he slept he fell asleep fine he was like i love this bed i'm gonna fall asleep abby's rolling her eyes he's always been a very easy sleeper um so i'm like working and the floors in our house are all tile like hard hard tile and i don't know this was such a mom fail all of a sudden i'm working and i hear conk silence he does have long pauses he stops breathing for so long and i run in there because i know immediately this kid just fell on the bed he's laying out of his crib fully upside down stuck in a scorpion his feet are touching the back of his head and he's just not breathing just stunned like he's think about he was in a dead sleep a dead sleep and he's upside down head on the floor just crying and i'm like i am such an idiot why didn't i put a pillow a blanket why didn't i move his foam pad just two inches to cover the floor poor kid head injury that day yeah yeah that wasn't even the one i was thinking oh what was i was thinking of when you're in missouri oh we should insert an image visual aid for this one this one we had cj you know we're like he's been in his toddler bed so he's like you got it buddy a mattress on the floor we're not going to bring your pack and play you'll sleep great the kid is poor kid is terrified to fall asleep on this mattress in the middle of the floor he wakes up i guess he fell off the bed in the middle of the night wakes up under like the bed frame of the bed next to him no idea where he is well caleb was gonna have him sleep in it on the bed frame i was like caleb this bed's too tall like i think he's gonna fall off you learned move the mattress on the floor sure did fall off underneath the other bed woke up horrified he woke up not breathing so scared this shows what a deep sleeper cj is a really deep sleeper we'll insert an image of him just under this bed that would be scary yeah it would be so scary so i learned if you're transitioning your kid put some pillows on the floor okay this one somewhat recent um so i went to go buy dog food and my friend works where i buy the dog food and she carries the food out with me it's very heavy she's very strong and so um i had the kids with me i put them in the car but i could tell that we were gonna chat a little bit she was she had some things going on so i wanted to be a good friend and like obviously give her my full attention i'm like i'm not gonna strap them in their car seats they can just roam around the car while i'm talking to them so i'm like okay i'm gonna put them in the car and i'm gonna put them in the car and i'm like okay i'm gonna put them in the car and i'm gonna put them in the car while i'm talking we have white leather seats which that's on us i mean seriously can't be mad when those get dirty sure problem is they found ink pens and so we actually got so mad apparently got so much heat on instagram or tick tock or whatever because he showed him cleaning the car and he showed like they're like you let your kids run crazy like and it's like no i was actually a foot from them but um they clearly found a good activity because we had blue ink pen all over the all over the white leather seats and you know what i didn't even really say anything to them because i was like that's on me yeah yeah you're like this was i love these two accessible i left a two and a three year old in a car near a pin i mean i'm right next to them the whole time and i was like peeking in i'm like oh they're having fun they're gonna keep great yeah i love that they're making their imagination they're using their resources and usually your car is trash i'm like there's so many fun things for them to play with nope that way they found the panda ball and i and it oh it doesn't come out and so we used um acetone yeah took strip the the leather strip the leather so you just have ink pen it's there it's there so what does the leather look like now so the parts where the acetone was it's like not even white exactly it's a totally different finish and it started to go to like gray perfect whatever well now you just need to color the rest of the seats with the marker just make it even i was like you know what it's just gotta it's just it's gonna look that way that's great um that's a good fail my last one is a newborn one because addy said she wants to hear a newborn one um when cj switched he started doing formula at like six months and around seven months caleb was giving him a bottle and it took about 40 minutes for him to drink out of this bottle and he was like what is going on why will it's taking him so long to drink this bottle well turns out we had a seven month old drinking out of a newborn nibble and that's a slow flow slow flow i did the opposite i went to go order her new nipples yes she needed to go getting to go up in size choke like yeah we actually only have that size we only have the bigger size she never had a newborn nipple what no wonder she didn't like nurse first give me that bottle no wonder at first she was like i'm not really interested in that no she's like the belt comes out so much faster she wanted the bottles they were coming they were she didn't want to have to work for it oh my gosh so i need to so i ordered new ones and i put them on i said these are the same size i was like oh my goodness addy yeah she's always had three plus month bottles nipples perfect unfortunately oh my gosh but she does great she drinks bottles hey maybe that's my mom hack she actually took once we got a nipple show she did breastfeeding and bottles perfectly fine it could be a hack or a fail there you go that was great thanks for laughing with us well it wouldn't be fair if we just only talked about the fails we gotta also talk about the wins we gotta talk about the hard and the hope that's right that's what this podcast is all about right and so not necessarily the wins but we're gonna talk about some of our mom hacks if you will i love it also there's no judgment on any of those i don't hear no judgment we're not judging we're not judging we are all that's why it's a fail you live and you learn you live and you learn yes that's the whole point of having fail honestly so that you learn don't do it again don't do it again that's right want to be the one who's always in the know about the game the scores the plays here's a tip the apple sports app just pick your favorite teams and get automatic live updates without even knowing their schedules and when your team scores it shows up right on your iphone lock screen making it easy to check in anytime so rule the group chat and download apple sports for free on the app store or find it on your new iphone okay um yeah we have some hacks do you want to show your first hack yes this one's actually kind of like a serious one i don't know my first one was kind of serious too okay this one had i we actually did it when griffin turned one and now he's three and a half and so we've done this for two and a half years with both of our kids and it works really well for our kids now i'm gonna say this like every kid's different for sure and things that worked for one of my kids does not work for the other vice versa but this works for both of them and mine is have a family motto and i feel like when they're young honestly you can start with one word and usually we just say howards are and then we say like one word that like so we had three and it was really hard for them to memorize it but they pick up quickly yeah and so we said howards are patient generous and kind now we have kind of like expanded on some of those but patient generous and kind for us was a really good foundation because it gets a lot of those early misbehaviors like they don't want to share their toys it's like well howards are generous so that's that's where it really helps is when you have a strong family motto when there is a misbehavior it you can see where they can put it in their category it's like oh this is this isn't okay because this is what's true about us and so and i also think that they really remember i'm like oh but wait a minute howards are and then they're like generous yeah so patient is another one because obviously little kids are like mom mom or like they need things now there's no concept of it's really hard for them to conceptualize like tomorrow or you know five minutes even right and so it's like we just we are patient and so that kind of helps like those like whining behaviors sometimes and then kind that kind of gets every like the hitting the like yelling the just like the general like reaction towards other kids those three really surface them all we've expanded now to also obedient and also we've workshopped a few others that haven't worked like we were thinking good friends to others and i'm like it's just too wordy too wordy yeah so we're gonna switch it to servant-hearted because i feel like it wasn't even just about friends like it was more about like having service towards others and like we do these things we make ourselves uncomfortable sometimes to serve others so we're gonna add those two we've already added obedient and now we're gonna work on servant-hearted because that feels a little bit advanced yeah but i think we're ready for it yeah and so i think having that family motto though is just a really good thing because we can also say it for ourselves it's like i'm doing this because howards are kind or like and i think it can also age well with them totally and so whenever there is like a misbehavior just constantly going back to that family motto really feels like it makes it clear for them and it's also really concise yes i stole that from you i didn't create this by the way i don't know who i got it from but it's good it's really good no i heard you say that to griffin when he turned one you said howards are generous that's the first one i remember and i started using that with cj when he got older um it also is really convenient that we have the same last name like well cj howards are um but yeah the one i've been using a lot with cj recently is howards are howards do hard things oh yeah because i feel like he's getting to a point where i'm like why is he trying why are you being lazy not lazy but you know like doesn't want to throw away his trash or do right and so i'm like howards do hard things buddy like and i think it's been really it's an uplifting way to instill um what's the word instill values in them right and because i feel like to expand upon that too i hate people who are like stop don't whereas like this is like an actual that they can do it's like and because otherwise i feel like it's like what do you want me to do like i this is what i like my instinct is telling me to do like this is what what you know human nature is telling me to do and like but it's like yeah it's also not like you're you're being mean it's like hey howards all of us are kind so i also have to abide by these right and so i think it's like it makes a family unit which is cool right i really liked that when you did that that's a great number one tip thank you um my number one tip is i prompt the response that i want to hear and i actually heard you do this today with griffin you said hey we're leaving in one minute let me hear you say one minute and then they said one minute um and i do this with cj where especially on the more serious things um if i'm asking him to put his shoes on and get in the car and like some of the stuff that obviously kids just do not want to do but i feel like these are the things in parenting that can drive you crazy is when your kids aren't listening and so i go hey cj i'm not asking you but i'm telling you we're gonna put her shoes on right now and then we're gonna get in the car say yes ma'am and then he'll say yes ma'am and it's kind of like this like i'm prompting him like hey i'm expecting the action and the response at the same and it's obviously respectful um and i feel like that's helped us a lot with like a no kind of obviously he's not perfect at it but i feel like it's helped a lot with like the repeated begging to do things it's like when he's like oh i have to respond and i'm gonna say yes then i'm gonna do it and i feel like that's just been really really helpful and discipline and some of these like parenting things are just not so fun that's a really good one because i feel like it's easy as a mom to do it and i feel like it's easy as a mom to do it and i feel like it's easy as a mom to do it of toddlers just get so naggy like i feel myself doing i'm like i've told them a million times to do it like should i sing it in a song like what should i do to get them to actually listen but i think you're right like prompting that response it's like okay now i know that you know because sometimes i'm like i feel like i can't give you a consequence if i'm not even totally sure you heard me right or we're listening but it's like that valve that like validates that okay you did hear the expectation now if you make the choice to not do that then my it's clear for me now that you're right and i'm like okay i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna do it and i'm like howards are obedient and so like this like and so yeah and also prompting respect too i feel like it's really good too sometimes i'll be like cj put your listening ears on he goes no mom i'm not putting my listening ears he's like no mom i'm not listening i'm not listening i go okay well we'll come back to this these are foolproof not foolproof these are these are ideal scenarios our best scenarios this one is unhinged and so once again don't want to hear any judgment because it's not gonna change um don't mess with lunch honestly i love that abby okay don't do lunch time here's the thing three meals a day is crazy it's crazy with toddlers they don't eat that much food they and so i found myself early on with them i was like constantly like their little silicone plates like just dumping the entire plate and just starting again i'm like oh there's still lunch on it now it's dinner time breakfast three times a day it was driving me insane and they also weren't eating they don't care they're playing they weren't eating food but if you present it as a snack and it literally is a snack which essentially is what kids lunches often are anyway then it they eat more it's more well-rounded because they look at it and they're like they feel like they chose a snack right like because i'll bring an option of fruit i'll bring it like a protein option like a beef stick cheese or yogurt like any fruit banana oranges strawberry anything and then some type of like carby option like chips crackers uh granola bar and that's that's lunch that's lunch i'm not gonna lay a plate down and ask you to sit down because i'm only gonna do that fight twice a day right exactly i'm not doing that fight three times a day that's crazy that would be my whole day so this is my advice to you don't do lunch don't do lunch it's freeing it's freeing yeah it's done and then you can do it on the go yeah we'll go to parks and i'm like oh you want your snack and then i'm just make sure that they get like one of those three things throw fruit snacks in there yeah of course it's lunchtime it's lunchtime snack time it's a fun time of the day don't do it it's a trap seriously i feel like i give cj a full breakfast and then he's like snacks until dinner right he just eats all day long that's all it is and i'm okay with it yeah their stomachs are small yeah their stomachs are small they don't need to fill up three times no they don't that's crazy that's crazy uh my second one's also food related i was having a huge issue with breakfast time especially once i had vivian and i would have to nurse in the morning first thing and then by the time i'd be done nursing cj would be starving poor kid and then it's like okay then i have to cook and prepare breakfast and it was just too long of a time to go without feeding him and so what i did was i would give him like a breakfast snack while i was nursing to then tide him over until breakfast and i felt like that was like a real hack i'm like okay i would give him one of those oikos protein yogurts and then i would give him his little vitamins and that would hold him for 25 minutes until i could go and eat breakfast and make the rest of his breakfast because the kid's very he loves his pancakes that's just a time-consuming task so give your kid a little snack like a little fruit a yogurt before the breakfast that's a good one yeah thank you i feel like we're always heading out the door too fast that i don't have the time but if i was nursing that would change it was really hard when you're nursing because you're just sitting there and your poor kid is just waiting for you so patiently to be done you know and i'm like i'm sorry you're starving you want to eat food too right i know okay this is also another like more serious one related to like behavior modification i don't know what the word is we're gonna use for that consequences but um i started to frame um whatever our kids had a consequence i started to really make sure like whatever their consequences i kind of like hold that certain like kind of lightly because i'm also not exactly sure what i want to do best i recognize that usually like if there's certain behaviors especially where someone else is getting hurt they need to be away from that situation i don't love the idea of time out so usually they're in the same room as us but just separate and they have to be like they can be with us they can see with us i would even sit with them but we're with them and we're kind of still workshopping that because i'm like i don't know how effective this is but i've noticed that the true like where i really feel like i'm reaching them after a misbehavior is the conversation after whatever the consequence was is done and so matt and i have both been really intentional with like how we frame like that resolution time and it can be hard to do in the moment but this framework made it like kind of seamless so we say like why are you taking a break and they can answer this younger than you think like why are you taking a break and then they can usually answer and then it says what are you going to do differently next time and then what should you do now and those three questions like really helped me feel like okay whatever this consequence is i don't care that's necessarily like they hate whatever they're doing but that i can come to them and like really like have this resolution moment it really has been so good and now the kids are doing this on their own so like in the car they weren't listening great today after church and um randomly augie my youngest he goes sorry for not listening mom i'm gonna listen next time oh my god and i was like i love that because it's like and i made a huge deal about it yeah of course you gotta praise that that's amazing yeah but i'm saying like these three questions made it really easy for both of us to just like always have this like baseline to go back to so it felt like okay we're not just like throwing consequences at you or like making you not play or be with your friends because mom and dad are mean which also we say this i got this from our friend val she loves when we she a really good she's a great parent and i learned a lot from her and so but something that she tells her kids i've started telling my kids is that everyone has consequences because it's true everyone on this earth has consequences right and so i don't want them to think that that we're specifically picking on them which is also why we have like our kids and our kids are like we're like our family motto too it's like we are all held to a standard and we're held to a standard as a family and also just like as citizens right and so anyway that resolution like moment feels really it feels like a template that is easy to kind of make it all feel clear to everyone like what just happened we don't want to just have tears to have tears or we don't want to just do these things and so it really feels good and i feel like they can start to use it on their own yeah that's a great because i want them to be like sorry sorry that use that loses its meaning totally and so that has helped a lot yeah that's really good um something that i i think i've been thinking about a lot too with i just want the expectation to be really clear and so i'm trying to figure out like okay the bigger like the more violent things are time out so then i don't want everything that needs to be that everything that requires a consequence to be a time out so i'm like what are other creative things i can do in like the discipline realm and then i'm like okay but i don't want to lose the expectations where cj is like what's it be this time a big consequence or a little consequence and so um kim she's she's been mentor for me she did this with her kids i thought it was a really good idea it's an if then chart and i think when cj gets a little older i'll start implementing it when he can understand it better but it's like hey if you hit your sister then no fruit snacks or if you do this then you get a time out or if this you know it's like just really clear expectations of hey if you choose this choice then this is it and then it's like really easy as a parent to like reflect back to it because i think that's the thing that you're saying too it's really good is like they're able to reflect back to these questions and be like okay this is how that applies and it's like you're thinking through it and then it's it's not it doesn't always have to be such a big conversation yeah if there's the expectation yeah that clarity is really good and also good for your husband like husband and wife to like okay the same expectation holds because there's a chart or like yes this is how we do it yes because sometimes that's hard like when caleb's he works normal hours and so i'll do certain things i'll try different things with discipline and then he'll come home and it's like wait no no i wasn't doing that today you know like yeah it's like we had to stay on the same page and that's like a huge part and now it's a learning time but also it is good to start doing those things early because they are really they're really smart they pick up on things really really quickly oh yeah okay so i for my third one you're gonna hate me for this one oh no why my third tip is don't have the perfect environment for sleep oh gosh you have too much privilege to say this i knew you were gonna get me i knew you're gonna get me okay i have my kids are really mild temperament kids so i understand that like they're very just like they love to just lay a mom and they love to sleep um so keep that in mind i feel like this is very dependent on kids but something that caleb and i talked about from the beginning was that like i remember reading some of the stuff about like having the blackout curtains and like the temperature of the room perfectly set and like just creating the perfect sleep environment for your kid and i was like i will definitely do that if my kid doesn't sleep but i don't want to start out that way and then have them only be able to sleep in like this perfect environment so that was kind of like my our last resort was like adding in the different things if necessary um so like when cj was little he would literally nap in a full lit room and i wouldn't always put him in a sleep sack if he didn't need it he always had a sound machine which is easy like on the go to have a sound machine um but these are just different things that i tried and i feel like it benefited our kids are pretty flexible sleepers um so if it's possible that you can do these things and then your kids still sleep the night do it but obviously if you need to be strict but i'm just saying don't i would i don't ever give the advice like start out super strict with sleep like work your way there i don't think anyone really can because they're in your room with you what do you mean like as a newborn yeah as a newborn there's noise there's like yeah but like once you start sleep training you know like maybe and now i was in her crib and i vacuumed during her naps like her room does not have blackout curtains lewis is barking you know yeah there are different elements where i'm like i could put the dog away and like not clean or do certain things to like try to hone in to make sure her naps are perfect but i don't i try not to stress about it and i think it's benefited so far yep i know it's annoying no i love that for you abigail i love that for you but that's my tip don't start strict if you we do that with i will just give you the little caveat we did that exact thing with griffin yeah he slept in the room like in fully lit rooms didn't go yeah i know not every kid is not gonna work for it and um so then we learned and did the opposite and then our second was a much better sleeper so i guess i say this because i just feel like the internet is so um you know like they always want to make we talked about like anxious moms and like it's always like you have to do these things this thing this thing this thing like start sleep training your kid from the day they're born it's like i feel like i just stressed about stuff that was not applicable and like i didn't have to worry about cj's sleep until i knew if he was a good sleeper or not and so it's like i don't need to implement all these things to create the perfect environment until i know that my kid's not a good sleeper do you know what i mean yeah i think it's like it's just let's just take the stress off and just let your kid yeah you know this helped me this actually helped eliminate stress for me personally because i was like i can recreate this and it i'm sleeping yeah who cares but that's the most important no i think that's i mean i think that's a good baseline but i do think you learn pretty quick whether or not you're gonna have to use interventions no for sure i think also i would i have struggled with that a little bit of like we did the sleep training we did the nap training braille doesn't have like a blackout room she it's dark but it's not and we have a sound machine but i was really worried about like she naps during church and so she's in the nursery in there and she's only taking 30 minute naps in there at home she takes two hour naps and i'm like that's okay if she 30 minute nap now that's okay like having to like really tell myself that it is what it's gonna be yes you know and figuring it out i think we can get so like dependent on the schedule and then we become a slave to the schedule yeah i didn't go to church the first two weeks we were sleep training because i was like can't do it no i'm really i'm pro being flexible with the schedule yes so then it's like okay as long as vivi has she's taken four naps a day so i'm like if she has two naps in her crib that are good i think that's a great day but she's sleeping through the night so i'm like then if she wasn't sleeping the night then i would adjust and be like you gotta stay home for all four naps okay this one this took a lot of reworking because there's a major irritation especially with two toddlers keep a pair of shoes in the car oh that's a good that's a good tip keep them in the car and when they get home take them off in the car we just have car shoes smart car shoes exist because we couldn't i i'm telling you how many times we'd get to a location and i'd be like you took your shoes off after it took me so long to locate them get them on your feet and then you just rip them off and so i was like that was just making me so agitated i was literally saying it till i was blue in the face i was like keep your shoes on keep your shoes on wear your shoes put your shoes on and i was like i'm just done with this we're keeping shoe cars or car shoes we're keeping car shoes and here's my other advice keep the kids socks by the shoes because i remember when i was a kid i was like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm gonna be like oh my god i'm so many times heading out the door we finally found the shoes thank goodness but oh socks are up in their bedroom that's a good idea keep the socks by the shoes and that can probably be like wherever your garage door is um and also just keep a pair of car shoes don't put them on until you're at your destination that's efficiency brain i don't i would never thought that but i'm like it is so annoying when we're out like get at the door and his shoes are there and i'm like we forgot socks i'm back in to get socks that was the last that was my final straw so you need so many things to get out the door with them i just was so tired of fighting with the shoes yes there's four feet the car is the ultimate diaper bag let's just be honest i don't even carry a diaper in there keep wipes keep a changing pad in the car go change your baby in the car your extra outfits diapers wipes everything and you'll never have to carry a diaper bag it's great it's so great it's great tip abby um my next one we had santa take the binky if you can have a fictional character take your binky it's so much better because then there's like no chance that thing coming back you know what i mean not because the kid now hates christmas and santa make santa the bad guy what a weird make the tooth fairy the bad guy make um the easter bunny the bad guy make santa the bad guy make a leprechaun for saint patty's day the bad guy that way you don't have to do it and you can start talking about it weeks before hey saint patty's coming and he's gonna take your binky and it's but he's gonna leave you the leprechaun oh sorry sorry saint nick took our binky that's crazy it's crazy but it worked for cj santa santa yeah and you know what he took those binkies and he gave them to the other little boys and girls that needed them like vivian like vivian yes and then if you have a second kid you could gift them just rub it in their face i'm just kidding but it really did work and then because santa goes away he never asked i mean he would ask him like where are my binkies and like cj where'd they go and he go santa took them with the cookies saying it and it was really easy to reference back and then it wasn't a conversation of hey the binkies are you know you can't like i've heard people plant them in the yards and like flowers bloom up and i'm like i think cj would have gone out there with a shovel and tried to dig them out you know oh we've tried everything i know so i'm like we actually just tell him i'm really big into telling them the truth which is kind of the opposite i'm like they're messing up your teeth uh yeah well griffin's old enough to understand that now he's like yeah they're messing up my teeth yeah and i'm like i think it also comes down to like how what kind of sleeper is your kid yeah like if they like sleep but yeah cj i would tell not leading up i'm like cj you're getting buck teeth buddy so we got the binkies they're just not appropriate well i had the dentist have a conversation too i mean we've really smart we did the fictional character we did the everything and now we did the hack i'm just like let's just let them do whatever the heck they want they're sleeping no that's a good one that's a good one controversial but good sure my final one is catch them doing good i feel like this is an obvious one but also it can be hard to just remember day to day as a mom like whenever they do something that like a behavior that you want them to do more of and you know that it's especially something that they've changed like it's a you're noticing a difference praise the crap out of it that's my biggest like we we like and it's amazing how they like light up and that's so meaningful to them yeah and so like i said when like they said sorry i was like i really i brought up a couple times like i was like i really like how you apologized and like i was able to forgive you and you and you knew why or like whatever it is even them finishing their plates we have like a whole song they like we are so proud of them for like eating their meals like when they're supposed to because that's also difficult that was also my other hack is uh with meals if you're fighting with your toddler about meals we can you can just say we provide you decide like sometimes i handle that where it's like you can decide if you're gonna get dessert tonight because if i'm providing you with something now if you're trying something new we're not gonna hold you to that same standard but if something that's like i know you enjoy this food and you're choosing not to eat it then you decide you decide and so anyway praise the crap out of what they do right and i you i think you would be surprised like you just see that behavior so much more yeah they do respond so well to that yeah totally um I love when they eat the finished food. They go, Augie finished my food. I ate it all. And they stand up on their chair. They go, ooh, uh-uh, ooh, ooh. We have a whole chant. It's a big deal. It's so fun. Okay, my last tip. This is something that we decided before CJ was born, honestly, because I saw an influencer post about it. And I was like, I'm going to do that. We really, really try to keep screen time to the weekends. And that has been – it's crazy when CJ, like, has screen time, like TV time during the week. I just notice it a lot in his behavior. And then it's asked all the time. Mom, I want to watch a show. I want to watch a show. And it's like, hey, buddy, actually the expectation – we just don't do that during the week, buddy. We just do it on the weekends. And it honestly, like, kind of nips a butt in the asking for it because I'm like, we just don't do that on Mondays. Today's Wednesday. Like, you can watch TV on Saturday. And I think it's been helpful a lot during the week. Also, for me, I think if I'm feeling tired or whatever, like, it could just be, like, very easy for me to want to put on a show. But then it's like, no, I should just actually put a blanket outside and we go sit in the backyard and, like, have imagination play or I'll sit and read my book in the backyard. So it kind of keeps me off of screens too, which I really liked. And I think it's really fostered – CJ has such a – he's really good at imaginative and individual play. And I think it's because, like, I don't have the option of TV during the week. And I think it's just been really – like, it's been really good in our house. Yeah. It's really good. I didn't stick to that yesterday, so I'm obviously not perfect at it. But yesterday we had a sick day, and so we did watch VeggieTales. That's awesome. But we've really tried to stick to it, and I feel like it's kept the screen time conversation to a minimum. Yeah, and whatever the expectation is, I think those screens, it's just – it's got to stay consistent. Yes. Because then otherwise they're like, well, wait, they'll ask for it all the time. Totally. Like, even if it's, like, our – Val, hey, girl. We talk about it all the time. Like, they do screen time after naps. And so it's just like the, hey, no, we're not going to watch it until after. Like, if you just have a set. I feel like that's really the most helpful. Yeah. Within parameters, I feel like that's been helpful for us. Here's a tip. Ask, ask, ask, Abby. Let's do some voicemails. Guys, thank you so much to everyone who calls in and leaves us messages with a question. It can be about anything lighthearted, silly. It can be serious. It can just be a curious question that you have about us or whatever you want. If you want to call in, the number is 602-456-9690. We'll also put it in the show notes. Here's the first one. Hi, Abby. My name is Madison. And I was wondering, what are your favorite parts about living in Arizona? Thank you so much. Thanks for calling, Madison. My favorite part about living in Arizona. I think there are a lot of things I really love. I love living in Arizona. I love it so much. It's so different than the Midwest. So it's also been really fun just to experience something totally different than what we had growing up. I mean, obviously, the weather here is unbelievable. I just really love the access to being outside. And the different options of all the things that you can do outside. There are just an endless amount of activities here that I really, really, really love. You cannot beat sunshine. No. Like, when we go back home, like, I am reminded how much I take for granted the sunny days. Because it just affects, like, it's just so gloomy when the sun's out. Like, we take for granted. The sun is out basically every day. Every day. And when it's not out, like today, oh, it's cozy. It totally is. It's like a little cozy day. For sure. I don't even feel like there's just, like, there's just not really bad weather. And that just makes a big difference in my motivation to, like, take care of my own health. And also just, like, get out of the house and do fun things with the kids. And also, our kids can, like, basically always play outside. Obviously, the summer is, like, the more trickier time. But it's just so nice. Yeah. Let the hounds out. Let them out. Let them out. And even in the summer when it is super, super hot, like, you can swim and different things. Sprinklers, splash pads. Yes. There are still activities to be outside. What about you, Addie? I was going to say. I don't know. I don't know. I really like how much there is to do. But more so on the thing of, like, Blake and I both like sports and watching things like that. It's living in a bigger city, but we, like, are kind of in a suburb area of Phoenix. And I feel like I really like that we can go and do major league sports or go to spring training or do these, like, cute dates. Like, different places to go to, I think, I really enjoy is the season I'm in right now. Totally. You could never do everything. Right now. Which is so different from, like, growing up in, like, a smaller. For sure. Area. Yeah. It's been fun. Hi, Addies. My name is Nevaeh. And I just, the question that I had for you all was, what is a season in your life that you feel like you took for granted and you go back and just, like, relive every moment? If you could. I love your old podcast. And thank you for listening. Bye. That's a really good question. I have to think about that for a second. Thank you, Nevaeh, for that. That's really, that's a thought-provoking one. Every season. Every season. Every season. Every season of my life, I can say, like, I have thoroughly enjoyed. I don't know that I could say the word, like, I felt like I took that for granted. But there's really sweet things that I, like, can recognize more in hindsight about certain things in my life. And I think about being a kid a lot. Uh-huh. Like, I'm like, oh, that was such a, like, I don't know. It was such a sweet time and such a comforting time. Yeah. And, like, I knew that, I felt like I had the freedom to make decisions. But ultimately, I knew that my parents were going to, like, step in and take care of things for me. And I think I appreciate that even more now being a parent. Like, it's so fun being on this side of things. There's so much responsibility. So then you think about, like, okay, nothing was actually truly that serious when I was a kid. Yeah. Like, that feels, and that was because I had really good parents. Like, you know, the stakes were pretty low. And so, I don't know. I just always think about, like, ugh, when I was a kid. Totally. Things were just, things just happened. It's just free. Things just happened. Food was there. Yeah. I think it was one of our first episodes you said. I just went to dance practice and. Just went to school, went to dance. And my parents made it happen for me. They made it happen. And so, it was just, like. Yeah. It's sweet. I don't think that I necessarily took it for granted. Because I think I always knew. I was, like, I, this is great. That I, I'm, like, very grateful that. Yeah. I had to do these things. But I'm, like, wow. That was so good. Like, that was literally so good. I'm also so grateful. This is kind of, like, a little bit off track with this question. But I'm always so grateful that every season of my life, I've had good, good friends, pretty much. And I think that has also made, like, even the hard things in my life, like, so much less difficult than they could have been. And so, I especially had, like, I had really good friends growing up. Which I think is, like, probably the most important time to have good friends. Yeah. And that's the thing I wish the most for my kids. Is, like, please make them be friends with, like, good examples. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, that influences their life so much. I don't, I don't really feel like there's a season in my life that I feel like I've taken for granted either. I feel like I've, I feel like I've always had a very gracious, like, I've always felt so much gratitude for different seasons. And, um, I think it's a season that, just like that newlywed season with Caleb was so sweet. I look on it, look back on it so fondly. It was just such a fun, fun, fun season. And I don't think I realized in the moment how fun it was. Yeah. So, I think maybe that is a season I look back on. It was, like, those first three years married. Also, it was COVID and we were newlyweds. So, we got married in 2019 and then COVID hit. That whole year just disappeared. I don't know what happened to it. But, like, what a fun time to be quarantined with your husband, your best friend. You know, it was so fun just getting to spend so much time with Caleb. Because we worked from home. We were together all the time. And now I feel like I barely, you know, I don't see him often as much. So, I love, love, love that. I probably took all the time we spent together for granted. That's special. Yeah. Well, this segment is called Always Eating. Always Eating. Always Eating. Which I'm actually hoping to do. I would agree right now. Yeah, honestly, let's go home and eat. We're trying to just think about, like, how we can give to you guys and, like, I don't know, just make this more of a community. We're still having conversations. So, we're open, once again, to any suggestions. I feel like a lot of us in this community are in a season of either being, like, a newlywed, mom. Like, we have got people we got to feed. We've got a great range. Yeah. We've got people we got to feed. We have a good range. But all of the common thing of we're all hungry and we have other people that are hungry that we got to feed. And so, we were thinking about sharing a new recipe. We're going to share a new recipe every week to kind of just help if you're like, oh, I make the same things every night or I don't, I have no idea what to cook tonight. So, if you're heading to the grocery store right now while you're listening to this or after listening to this, we've got a couple new recipes for you. We'll link them below. I linked my shrimp tacos because I just have started making those again a lot. But I'm telling you, you got to buy your shrimp from Costco. Actually, I have to one of you, Abby. You have to buy from Sam's Club. Really? It's three pounds for $21. Peeled, deveined, raw. Ooh. I don't have a Sam's Club membership. I know. I was going to tell you you need to get one. We just got one. Just to get shrimpies? No, but. I have heard Sam's is better than Costco. It's just a little cheaper. No, here's the thing. Costco has way better healthy options. But Sam's is cheaper. Well, then I'll probably stick to Costco. I know. Just get my two. It's two pounds. But it's peeled, deveined, and raw. But they have the biggest shrimps. It's hard to find peeled, deveined, and raw. Yeah, it is hard. It's a hard combo. But they got to add Sam's and Costco. So whatever membership you have, you're covered. Shrimp tacos, I don't follow this recipe. this recipe is just a good baseline it's very flexible basically just cook your shrimp and just put all the toppings on that you like but this is just a good seasoning blend and it's just the sauce is good and it's just it's foolproof i love your shrimp tacos when you make them thank you i eat a lot of them i make them huge because i also love the tortillas from costco they're so good they have raw tortillas it really makes all the difference i'm rambling right now but i feel like those are good for dinner and lunch too my recipe is a cabbage soup which sounds weird i just love cabbage and i always have you have to make this for me because i saw you share the recipe and i was a little skeptical well okay so i i'll link a recipe that was i kind of adapted my own but the recipe itself is good um i when i posted on my instagram story is like my own little adaptation of it but it's hearty it's warm it feels healing it's just the perfect like blend of warming herbs and good vegetables and i added chicken for protein it is so good serve with some crusty bread it's a win okay i'm gonna have to try it yes i'm excited about that and it sounds very healthy too it is okay book review time everybody your homework is due did you read the book we're actually still transparently trying to figure out the best way to do this book club right like sounded like a great fun idea yes sent it and we mostly just want to do fun things to like foster community with y'all and i love to read i feel like we got a couple readers in here abby you like to read too yeah i like to read when i'm told to read when you're told to read and so um yeah so we're just trying to figure out what the best way to do this is because like for those of you that didn't read the book you're probably like i didn't read the book i don't care i don't want spoilers so maybe on this video we can put a time stamp for when we're done talking about the book yeah and we'll try to keep it somewhat brief but maybe down the line we're thinking of other options of like what's the best way to do it we thought about having like a separate channel maybe patreon type of thing for those of you that like want to be a part of the like book club we thought about doing all kinds of different discord chats like keep it separate or we can keep it in here but mostly we just want your guys's feedback like what do you prefer um because we're just figuring this out yeah it's still new in the goodreads i i think a lot of people have said that link isn't working and also i feel like we don't know how much to engage in the goodreads so if there was a different platform that's a little easier to do the book club and we want that and obviously we would make it like accessible and easy and yeah so or if you're like hey this is preferred do it this way this is a democracy so you need to speak up always homies is it a democracy or an oligarchy what's it wait which oligarchy is like kings and queens you guys are the democracy i don't know it's a democracy you gotta vote you guys vote please you guys gotta vote this isn't inherited spoiler alert we're gonna give spoilers so if you don't want to listen maybe fast forward for my husband's wife by alice feeney if you haven't read it and want to read it skip skip but don't leave just skip okay what was everyone let's start with everyone's ratings five stars i was gave it a 3.5 oh my gosh as well oh so on goodreads it'll actually be a three yes that's why i couldn't i was gonna do a 3.5 but goodreads you can only do full stars so i did it why i think i'm dumb like i'm actually still confused i have a little confused yeah i sat myself down i didn't read it so fast i was like i'm gonna have to go back i'm actually still confused i feel like okay here's my thing no let you guys talk no there's too many crazy people in this book there are a lot of crazy what are the odds that all like every single character is crazy is willing to do something crazy crazy it just got to a point where i was like first of all i'm like it's a thriller it's not like real so obviously it's it was too much everybody's psycho so it's not based in any kind of like it kind of lost me like i was like okay every single character is looney tunes sure sure i could see that it was a lot wasn't grounded in something i i was confused because i thought harrison committed to a like said he murdered her a million times but he didn't wasn't the murderer i think they wanted you to think like feel suspicious of everyone i was harrison was actually the cleanest of them all when you really think about he just created a weird conversation and i was like okay i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this company company but then he was at the end he was like i don't my company's not not worth it it's not real like it doesn't work it was a bad thing you know he knew it was bad to know when you were gonna die i ate the reason i gave it three stars it took me at least 45 of the way through to be like oh story's connecting like the first because it's just like two separate like birdies talking in one of them and then there's everyone else and i'm like how do these connect and so once they connected i was like okay now i'm starting to feel like i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna understand what's happening but i would read it again and i liked the first half better actually when eden died i was shocked shocked really remember when her cat her oh off the cliff after oh and she goes and this is how i died whenever i was like oh my gosh she died the main character but then you realize she's not the main character she's kind of a side character she actually didn't die no she did die that's no that was mary no eden did not die we're all confused no eden fox did die no his fake wife she's the one who had cancer no that's birdie no that's birdie oh oh abby is confused we might need to explain the book did eden die he didn't die you didn't got pushed off no that was mary guys google it no mary is in switzerland with harrison living happily ever after yes yeah oh jane thought it was mary and accidentally killed mary instead of or an accident killed eden instead of mary yes jane is the one who pushed her off yes we were the whole time you're like who pushed also that was a terrible mastermind to literally because you barely talked about her like oh carter's wife but at the end i actually liked that really yeah because it was very unsuspecting and then at the end when she was talking about my my husband's wife i was like wait who is talking eden or i don't know who i thought it was eden it's not even about eden or like the title of the book is not even about like i feel like that it was cool because the title my husband's wife applied to two different stories i kind of like yeah yeah i thought that was creative i liked this one more than the other alice feeney book i read which was rock paper scissors me too because i think the beginning was really strong i also liked the setting better yeah i didn't like the setting of rock paper scissors yeah just an isolated yeah but i'm still confused uh-huh so um the person who gets pushed off the cliff is the real eden fox yes the real eden yeah the real eden and then mary sorry and jane tried to kill eden but it was actually mary and she didn't even know that she killed no mary's not dead she tried to kill mary that she thought was eden but it wasn't yes pause how do they look so much alike yeah i don't know that's weird that was also crazy but a lot of these people had never met her before like had never met eden like in the town because mary was going around and meeting people like this whole time but they had not known like carter slept with mary uh-huh not eden but he just kissed her i thought oh maybe they just kissed yeah but still he was maybe fantasizing about no they had they just kissed on his desk because he said i wanted what she saw but then he actually did sleep with birdie but he slept with birdie but see this two affairs actually that's what i'm saying this is crazy like jane was willing to commit that crime just of a kiss because that's the only thing she witnessed yeah i know but then he was actually cheating there was just too many i i didn't really like the storyline of how he was going to commit that crime because he was going to commit that he didn't pushed the daughter over the balcony i'm like that just feels so far-fetched like she wasn't actually hit by the car that whole story was like a little crazy all of it was all staged and then gabrielle the daughter is also crazy just randomly one chapter where you find out she's crazy or like at the end they try and they try and sneak in that she's locking eden out of the house this is my house and she's like in her clothes and so and then she goes don't mess around like that and then she lets her in the house like it was like weird yeah yeah i agree and when they they ended the chapter with uh one of the chapters with gabrielle jumping out of the car yeah and then never really came back to that there was too much happening and too short of a book honestly i'm trying to wrap up all the loose ends at the end i was lost i'm actually clearly still lost i actually i really enjoyed it i thought it was very um entertaining i wouldn't recommend it personally but really i mean i highlighted or this was chapter 10 so we were really very beginning said i'm olivia bird i tell him and then he his face folds into a frown and he shakes his head olivia bird is dead i said what the heck is this freaking book i'm so confused i know that was about the grandma like was dead oh yeah the fact that two characters had the same name there was such an intricate she died twice yeah and the mom died and i was like there was so much happening yeah i was thought it was i think if the mom died twice and then birdie died twice that would have been i think i'm just too dumb for this book no it was a lot she does have i think alice feeney can someone confirm if she has all 10 fingers because both she tried to cut the finger again so does she have all 10 fingers why is this her signature and the other book we read by her rock paper scissors the book ends with a finger cut off with a ring on it that's why abby made cookies if you ever saw that video cut a finger off in this book it was olivia bird's finger yes it was the grandma's finger was cut off they like with - Ruby, yeah, or something. - Yes. - Does she not have all fingers? - She has nine fingers. oh my gosh that's so cool she's spoken publicly about losing part of her finger in a childhood accident it's something she occasionally mentions in interviews and author talks oh my gosh she mentions it in her books it's always that's funny okay that's cool that's really good i love when an author has a signature yeah i think i actually still need to google and just like be like please explain the ending of this book like who's who because see i think what's happened is that like it nothing the parts that were actually mary but you're thinking are birdie yeah never got rewritten in my brain yeah it is so i'm like she has really hardcore twists i never expect her twists in both stories i was very shocked by her my hot take though is that like i like to be surprised by a twist but i just think that her twists are just underdeveloped like there's you should be able to make inferences of some kind or at least go back and see like oh this was this but i feel like it just smacks you out of nowhere it does smack me out of nowhere i think that's why i like it i'm like is that good though like story development i don't know but um yeah you know it was a good thriller to start it's a fast-paced one to start your year off you can get one book under the belt now you can read another yeah i have a suggestion for the next one i don't know i was gonna say we probably should if we have another book i feel like we need to do a new release that's not brand new okay because it's hard to get our hands on we heard some feedback about that but this one came out last year and it's called atmosphere by taylor jenkins reed and it's like it's a fiction but it's takes place it's related to females going to space and people say it's like very inspirational and really good and i really like the author she wrote um seven husbands of evelyn hugo which i've heard of that but i never read it she also wrote um daisy daisy jones and the six fun but this one's kind of like it's like a slightly historical fiction but it's like the 60s i think but it feels like girl power and she's like oh my god i'm gonna read it i'm gonna read it i'm gonna read it and i feel like that'd be fun yeah let's go always homies it's a fiction though it's not like it's not it's a it's a story yeah fun it came out last year it has 65 000 um reviews and 4.5 stars fun let's do it okay atmosphere gma book club pick a love story perfect love love story change a pace i feel like that one was that one got me i also read a thriller before that so that you're doing a little lighter something a little lighter i'll just be a depressing depressing book i enjoyed the book club and i'm glad that we're doing this oh my other side no really quick one more thing is that the subplot of the paintings fell underdeveloped as well but she just kept painting that they all painted and then like the wolf and the like all the points just felt underdeveloped to me like it felt like there was a lot of good potential but then it never came full circle enough for me to be like oh my god i'm gonna read it i'm gonna read it i'm gonna read those like plot elements you want it to be a longer book maybe it needs to be longer but i do think some of the things need to just be eliminated or edit it out some of the variables not as many lunatics sure yeah i feel like there could have been some editing there wasn't one sane character yeah i just whenever carter was crazy too what happened okay question another random thing what happened to maddie you know they're like we can't contact her she's not answering oh yeah she disappeared well the power went out that was just kind of the day of the dead that was not that important she said the power was dressed up yeah the power's coming yeah that never played a role the day the dead really never just came to do anything i thought for sure someone was gonna be hidden well jane came and looked at was dressed up and came and looked at birdie but birdie had taken all the pills and passed out and so she's like she's already dead so i don't have to kill her right right phew phew all right i'm glad i i wasn't mad at it i was just kind of like eh gotcha okay in closing we just want to say thank you guys wow this was a long episode thank you for uh sitting with us and chatting with us actually i was going to tell you at the marriage conference a woman came up to me and she said that her and her daughter listened to always here every week together so sweet i had a girl come to a church her name is taylor and her daughter isla so sweet she's the first one to ever come to me i know i love the mother daughter that's so sweet it was so fun so thank you guys for saying hi and listening it's crazy yes and the next right step that is write a review she wrote love you all i look forward to this each week it really does feel like i'm right there with you all when abby would talk about her books on on plan and joke about having a reading corner segment i'd always beg for it so now that you guys added a book club i'm so happy you guys do so amazing if you love girl talk friendships and books this is the podcast for you amazing so we thank you so much hayley and also anyone that is feeling generous today please take a moment or two to just write a quick review subscribe share this episode download what are all the things you can do heart it i don't know give it a thumbs up whatever you need to do on whatever platform you're listening on to just show them that you're enjoying us and you intend to come back it really means a lot we're so thankful to you and so is our entire team so it's not just for me and abby and addy there's more people behind the scene that also are really encouraged by that positive feedback as well so thank you thank you thank you well i have to pee yeah well you know what you guys remember we're always here coca-cola for the big for the small the short and the tall peacemakers risk takers for the optimists pessimists for long distance love for introverts and extroverts the thinkers and the doers for old friends and new coca-cola for everyone pick up some coca-cola at a store near you online deal days are back at kroger don't miss your chance for extra savings when you shop pickup or delivery you can save thirty dollars on your first online order of seventy-five dollars or more with your digital coupon plus enjoy unlimited 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