Our Most Embarrassing Mom Fails, Parenting Hacks, and Frida Mom Scandal

Olen Shannon Maldonado, käsintehtyjä artesaanitua teitä myyvän jauiilahjakaupan perustaja. Valitisin Shopify, koska alustoja testatessani totesin sen ehdottomasti yhdeksi helpokäyttöisimmistä alustoista. Minulla oli tärkeää pohtia kehittymistämme tulevaisuudessa. Kaikki myyntiin tarvittavat työkalut, kuten varaston suunnittelu ovat kätevästi dashboardissa. Aloita ilmainen kokeilu Shopify piste komsi vustolla. Perustin pyöräilyvaatteita valmistavan ornotin vuonna 2013. Mielestäni parasta Shopify saan se, että voimme harjoittaa liiketoimintaa ilman teknistä osaamista. Voimme hallinnoida yrityksen taustajaristeelle mien ja front-endia sekä myydä verkossa, vaivattaa. Jos Shopify olisi pyöräilyvaruste, sollisimielestäni itse polkupyörä. Sillä asiat hoidetaan ja meidän liiketoiminta me hoituu Shopify'sssä. Puhutaan sanoa, että tapahtuu tuntia. Puhutaan edelleen tuntia, joka on tuntia. Nämä on tuntia nyt, Chrisminis ja Sansa. Sitä on tuntia, että se on tuntia, että se on tuntia, että se on tuntia, että se on tuntia, että se on tunt Puhutaan sanoa, että puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt, että puhutaan edelleen tuntia. Tämä on tuntia, että ei ole tuntia nyt. Tämä on tuntia nyt, että puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt, että puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt. Puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt, puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt, puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt, puhutaan edelleen tuntia nyt. Täällä on tullut. - Sitten on tullut. Täällä on tullut. - Täällä on tullut. Täällä on tullut. Täällä on tullut. Täällä on tullut. Like you have a day, you know, so he did the ceiling fan and then he switched out our garbage disposal because it went out and he replaced our sink faucet. He's been on a tear. When I thought that your garbage disposal was out, I was like, oh crap, I've put a lot of things down there. He was always out at the soup full party. And a lot of stuff. And I was like, how do we handle this? So I can't just replace it. I know. I never smelled, thankfully. Yeah, at least not that I knew of. No, I just know it smells and it works. Yeah, it's impressive. So he did a lot of things around the house, which was great. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. All right, that's enough of that. I am really anxious to talk about this. Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Maybe it's Mabelie. This week's wireless is, wow, that's crazy. Yeah, we told you what it was. Well, I suggested it. You did. This is the one I knew what was happening. Yeah. I had a little extra screen time. Oh, I just felt alive. Just in Nashville, I really got to get under control again, though, because I was like just without kids. Yeah. I was like, I'm just going to school. And I don't actually fully understand what's happening, but I think I get the gist of it. It's the same. Yeah, we're talking about the Freedom Mom scandal. And everything going on with their company and their marketing tactics. Because they are salacious. You would have thought that their product was like an adult toy of some sort. I know. So, okay, let's give a little recap for the people that maybe don't know what's going on. Freedom Mom is a company that does a lot of baby products, postpartum products from moms. Super, super popular. That's all they do. That's all they do, right? And they're very good at what they do. They have freedom moms. Everything. Yeah, I love, love, love, the snott sucker. I think it saved my kids lots. Multiple times. I'm not kidding. I think gets the snott out of their brains. It's really effective. So, I feel like it's been a little. We had all their things. We had the Postpartum kids. The Postpartum kids. Well, first of all, the Postpartum kids. A lot of their breastfeeding things. Like the warmers, the pads. Like all that stuff. We had the baby novel. The covers. The. We had the thermometer. Everything. Yeah. So, they're very. We still have them probably. Successful company. And I feel like it's just started to come to light that their marketing and their branding on their packaging is very sexual, which I've never noticed before. Never noticed it. And I have. We're so tired. Who's looking at that closely? And also, it's a baby product. It's not expecting anything exciting on the packaging. I always thought it was cheeky and fun. Yeah. But I never thought I was talking about three sums. Right. And. Pulling out. And. It's so. It's so crazy. I'm confused why it's just now. I'm confused why it's also just now becoming like a. How are we just noticing this? And also, what about. Just maybe just someone brought it up? I don't know. I thought it was AI, to be honest, when I first saw it. When I first saw it. I literally was like, that's not real. You know what I mean? And some of these posts that have come to light are from 2020. That's what I heard. Like the one that I thought was really crazy. There's a picture of a baby. It's a cartoon. And it's a rectal thermometer. And it says the closest your husband will ever get to a threesome. That was the caption on their Instagram post. That's crazy. That's crazy. It's so crazy. Yeah. So I feel like they're definitely come under fire. They're doing a Mardi Gras campaign right now. Which I actually. I don't agree with it personally. They're decisions here. But I actually think it's kind of interesting. And I think it's appropriate for the setting of Mardi Gras. They're doing a. They're trying to. Like, get away with this stigma of breastfeeding being weird in public. Yeah. Which is great. Yeah. And so they're saying, if you can flash your boobs at Mardi Gras for beads, then you can be able to put your boobs out to breastfeed. Totally agree with that. Yeah. I don't think that's inherently wrong. I did block them on Instagram when I was on the post. Because their first post on their feed was just a girl flashing her boobs at Mardi Gras. Full boobs. The last two posts are both censored. Like, I can't click on them unless I click. I would like to see them. And they stop month. Yeah. And they haven't posted anything since a week ago. Yeah. They've been coming under a lot of heat. Yeah. It's a little concerning. I understand the marketing mind behind it. Like, hey, sex sells. If you do things that are outrageous, it creates a power of content that people then talk about, which then promote sales. So I understand, like, the rage bait side of it. I understand, like, the wanting to get people talking side of it and being bold. But I do feel like it's mist and work. And I also think about, like, the Balenciaga scandal a few years ago where they did the same thing. And I think it's different when it comes to kids. Like, you can't be really pushing the boundary in this realm when it comes to children. Oh. I just got chills. You mentioning the Balenciaga thing? Yes. Do you remember that, Abby? I don't know enough about it. They had a campaign that was really, it just promoted. It looked, made kids look like they were in really inappropriate. Yeah. Like, S&M, nice type of stuff. It was really inappropriate. So yeah, I just feel like it's kind of tone deaf. Totally. Yeah. I think, is it enough for you guys to not buy freedom moms anymore? I was actually thinking about that. I have not wanted to ever really, like, be a canceler. I will still buy this not sucker. But if there's two products next to each other and one is a freedom mom and one is the different brand and they're the same quality, I'll go with the other brand. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'll probably still get the, I just, I did really like the product. I mean, I, I, again, it's, I don't like what they've done. So I think, I probably will still buy it. Yeah. I get the same. Yeah, I mean, I haven't used a lot of that stuff because it's like all mostly baby. Mm-hmm. But I also remember being like, that was usually one of the only retailers that sold that category in store. So I feel like, like, require an extra step. I think for me, and more specifically what I'm saying is like, the postpartum packaging. Like, that was so great. It literally is a diaper caddy with all the things in it. Yeah. Just put it on there. Or the breast stuff that you can just get a package of all the things you need. And I'm sure there are other people who do that as well. And so I'd be open to it. But I've been seeing people throw away the things they currently have. Oh. I mean, I understand how people do. I'm like, yeah, if you want to do it, you know, I agree with that decision. I think there's like a huge market now like you're saying, Addy, there aren't a lot of other brands that do these kids that do. So if you're a brand that wants to step in the market now, there's kind of a gap. Freedom always been pushed to the side a little bit. Mm-hmm. And you can take over and do it better. Yeah. This isn't something you really forget. Like, I feel like this is something you're going to kind of remember. Maybe it's so interesting that they probably had this on their marketing for a long time. And we haven't noticed it yet. I feel like the most crazy things that were lighted on their Instagram. Right. Which I didn't follow or like look at closely. Yeah, I never did. But you see this pattern brought throughout their like whole thing. Like, what was it? That's what I was saying. A lot of their captions and their content is kind of in that like joking about like things sexually. And so it's interesting that we've never known. 446,000 people follow their Instagram. Which is, I'm sure has been dropping. I'm sure people are unfollowing. So I can only imagine how many people were following before. I mean, I'm sure it started just as like funny parent humor stuff. Yeah. Which was a great tactic. And then I probably just went too far. That's what this says. It says others are saying that Brandon tended to use adult humor to make light of the realities and frustrations of parenting not to sexualize children but acknowledge it cross the line for many. Yeah. Which I don't have they apologized yet. Not on Instagram. Okay. That's a bad look. Okay. Well, the company has said so far. At the moment, Frida Baby has not issued a detailed public apology addressing all the specific claims. And that's, if we're telling people today's date, that is Wednesday 18th. Okay. Yeah. Well, we're going to keep the conversation going for at least another week because this will be posted a week from now. But. Yeah, the things that really bother me like the the boob stuff. I'm like, yeah, I think breastfeeding should be normal. Yeah. Like, I think that like the sexual nature. The thermometer, the three something is so beyond inappropriate that it's like, how are we just now? Right. We're bringing that like that's it makes me actually like like I feel like I could like it brings up so many like anger sat like deep sadness. Just like it's like that should be the safest person is that baby's dad and mom. Right. And like that is just not. Yeah. That is so. No, we're brain even goes there to think of making that joke. I don't know. And so. Uh huh. Yeah. I think that's great. I think it's always good to for people to be able to like. I understand I like remember the Paul brothers. I'm like Logan and Jake Paul talked about this a lot. Sometimes you just get blinded in the pursuit of a goal. Okay. And you just lose sight of your North star. And so I think it's that is where I think cancel culture can sometimes be good. It's like I want not cancel culture. But I think calling out a company when they've crossed the line and taken it too far. It's good to help point them back. Right. No, I would still buy their product for like a future baby. But I like you said if there was like a thing where I was like, oh, there's both. I'm maybe opt for the other one. Uh huh. Just I don't know. I think about scrubbed out. Because scrub daddy has I think they are very similar marketing tactics to scrub daddy You know the sponges. Yeah, it's a sponge. That's what I'm saying It's like the product is so different that it was scrub daddy. It's like funny It makes sense. Well for a baby product. It's like most precious innocent life form right on this planet Right wasn't there another one? I feel like there was another there was like the yeah She did post other options for like their signature products. Oh who did her name is Jordan Lee do Lee do you follow her? I don't know her, but I know she is she has like other baby brands that like have like similar nasal aspirators Or thermometers or like when windy pipe alternatives, which is like their gas reliever and postpartum care alternatives as well Oh, which I feel like that's for me. What was the was the main thing? I really liked was that postpartum like women's care which at that point I'm like we can make some like jokes about that. That's just us and our Yeah, even still like maybe not, but like that's fine It's really crosses the lines exclusively with the baby thing. Uh-huh. Yes. Yeah, I would agree I would agree. I only really use their snott sucker. See, I didn't like that because I always just felt like snott was gonna get in my mouth Well Braille's nose was a two-small those have to change those you're supposed to change those are single use Yes, I didn't realize that for a long time I was just couldn't keep up with the single use. No, it's not a single use for me. Okay I do change them out frequently. No, not frequently every once in a while That's what got me when I said that was my nose. Well, no one should be trying those anyway Exactly. But yeah, once I said I was single use. I was like, oh, I'm out. I like the bulbs. Yeah, because you know Well, I would say that was a marketing fail Marketing fail less and learned everybody doesn't learn Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just clump to a hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York Maybe it's Mavily You know, I feel like we all fail. Oh, I'm not good for you mom, but we have some mom fails - sure And so do you guys and you guys were generous to share some of your mom fails So we thought it'd be funny if you we shared some of the ones that you guys submitted and then we'll talk about our mom fails And then we'll give some more mom hacks Fine, I love a good mom fail. Thank you. If we can't laugh about some of the stuff we're gone. We're losers We're done. We are done the biggest fail the fall. It's the biggest fail. No one's a perfect parent We I feel like everyone's the first to say that but sometimes we get a little bit ashamed. It's true But let's just laugh together. Do we want to start with our fails or their fails? We'll start with some of their fails Okay, this is from Jessica. She clipped the binky clip onto her sun skin when he was two months old That's actually really sad Is it like screaming you don't know why? Oh, that one's a bummer. That was sad. That one's a bummer This one just says it's from Kenzie. It says bought our kids iPads Thumbs down that's all That is something that I that's a hard and fast rule. Hey, I don't blame you I don't blame you. I feel like our phone was acting like that for a little bit Like in the car just to get them to like stop screaming and then we had a really nid that in the bugs I was like this is no different than an iPad I'm handing you my phone right and so It's just a it's a tough one to take back is the problem time is hard to real back in she said that's all that's all You learn Kenzie you do live and you learn. This is Mariah She said I put his lips in it It's crazy. I put cayenne pepper on my nine month-old's food to get him used to spice quote I dev traumatized him There's something to that though. There was a little girl that I maybe that her family was Indian and so their cuisine was different You have spicy cuisine. You got to get your kid used to it She was way more tolerant of it than I was we were eating fish. She was like one We're eating fish and the mom also left enough food for me It was a more like a mommy's helper situation. I was there the whole time and so I was eating my fish and I Hi peppers really spicy spicy crazy. Yeah, I mean chili pepper would or chili powder would have been like still kind of spicy I ate my fish and I was like literally felt like there's steam coming out of my ears I had no tolerance at the widest food and for growing up and I literally did not know how to ask this woman for water I go to the bathroom the doors cracked I'm drinking from the bathroom's tank and she comes and she's like oh, I'm sorry I will never forget that. I was humiliated. Oh my god the one-year-old's housing. Yeah, she loves it And we have the same fit. She's like more cayenne mom She can't even talk. She's just eating such spicy food than me, but I mean, that's hilarious Maybe not spice Caleb tried to give CJ hot sauce and Yeah, I think he didn't like it either. Just like a little doll upon his pinky and I don't know. I have like the mildest tongue and I think my son isn't here Yeah, we gave him that a low-tay chip from Trader Joe's These are crying. He's like rubbing his tongue trying to get it off. It was really sad That was also gal. That was also gal. We've all been there Mariah this one is from Mama Converse my daughter ate an entire tub of margarine while I had shower Dipper was bad No, I know but honestly, you're like what's when you're a shower? We got away our odds here I'm rather shower honestly because that was so scary. I just You're in the shower for five minutes you come out and you're like, what am I gonna find? I'm scared and when it's quiet, it's worse. Oh, you know it. Um, this is Mazzie She said I hid my toddler's Valentine's candy. So we forgot about it and I eat some each night This is from Sally. I dropped my phone on my baby's head during a three-year-old I Feel like I probably have to I feel like in middle school I used to do that where I lay And just yeah, it's the worst it's so dumb like why don't I do that more baby my son greys Oh, this is from Gracie my son was crawling around making a sucking noise and I thought he just learned a new sound Then he coughed a leg flew out the kid was sucking on a cricket for like an hour He called it a leg flew out he was sucking on a cricket I think there's good protein. Yeah, that feels that feels actually great for this one's from Emory It says breastfeeding a blanket in the middle of the night. Not my baby That's Sleep deprivation Okay, with Vivian, I was trying to put her being getting her mouth But she was the best and I kept trying to get it. I was like why is she not taking it? I opened my eyes a little over. I'm putting it in her ear She's like that's not gonna do it On her said my son was on my lap a spider crawled onto his hand. I shoved him on What's it started? I mean honestly the reaction time We get out of my house. I was like what kind of bug is that and you just go That was so aggressive. I'm afraid of bugs. Are you afraid of bugs? No, yeah, that wouldn't kind of bug is this a dead bug Thank you guys for sharing that Okay, this is a longer story that someone submitted I Couldn't find out where my pads and tampons were going for three months straight If wow every month I thought Every month I thought I was stocked up for the next month and yet somehow they're always completely gone when I needed them This week we had painters come into paint a few rooms They ended up having to move a few pieces of furniture and I was helping move some stuff out of the way when one of the guys moved our coffee table The coffee table is pretty big, but also super low to the ground, so you can't really look under it Underneath was a massive pile of all witnessing products. I can't do not have a year's worth Apparently my toddler had been transporting my stuff from the bathroom drawer and had been shoving it under the table for safe keeping The guy was obviously taking it back. He just tried to pretend it wasn't there and stepped over at all I was mortified anyways make sure you don't wait three months to vacuum under any piece of furniture especially if you've had toddlers It's like the movie guys like oh sorry excuse me That was a thing at Disney because in the women's restrooms at Disney. They have free feminine products. Yeah Griffin Oggy think they're souvenirs. Yeah, of course. There's like pushing the button and getting them And I'm like those are for women. Right. Those are for women They wouldn't expensive hobby like kid at take it on your smartphones Okay, this was she said my bestie's motherhood mishap she was cleaning the bathroom in the new house They had just bought in her one-year-old son was playing behind her when she turned around she found him playing with the toilet brush and put Putting it in his mouth, but the worst part is it was the previous owner's toilet brush, not even their own poopy churves. That is so bad, and I'm dying. That is so bad. I'm dying. Oh my god. I think that would be a kill. I would have to handle that one. I can't tell you how many times as a parent. I say, "You have no idea where that's been." From the grand. You have no idea. You have no idea where it's been. That is great. Okay, this one says, "When I went to cut my daughter's nails for the first time, "Oh, so many of these learning lessons." I ended up clipping part of her finger. So much blood. She was fine. I ended up passing out twice, seeing all her blood. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. This is coming from a nurse who has been elbows deep inside of a woman's hair. It's your own kid, right? I know. I think about it all the time. I'm like, I'm not grossed out by bloody things or gash. I think I love seeing that. But I imagine it on CJ and I immediately want to throw up. I know. Okay, last one. My husband forgot to put a diaper on her baby before bed one night. We didn't realize until I woke up to feed her at 2 a.m. And couldn't figure out why she was always. It happened last night. Imagine that last night. Imagine I didn't put a pull up on Griffin. The first diaper that I ever put on CJ right after he was born. I put her around his thighs and not even covered butt. And Caleb looked at him up and goes, "What are you doing?" I just had surgery. I just had surgery. I didn't have surgery. I don't know. Thank you guys for sharing those. Those are awesome. We've been to the label. Yes, so relatable. I thought we've all done some of these. So we thought we'd share some of ours. Here's my first mom fail. Okay. I think you've heard this story before. Our backyard is very safe. And so I'll just let CJ go out the doors and just play in the backyard. And he was maybe one and a half. I would never put his shoes on him to go outside. Because that keeps him away from the dog poop in the rocks. So he just goes on the turf barefoot. And he's usually concealed. Well, this day I put his shoes on him. I don't know why. And I let him and Lewis run out the door. That's not recent. No, he was like one and a half. Oh. I let him run out the door. I go into my pantry to grab a snack to bring outside with me. I look out the window of my pantry that goes into my backyard. And all I see is CJ's hand in my horse of a dog's pee rod. He's peeing so hard. And CJ's hand is just in this one. He's just digging it in his stream. And I run out the door and go, CJ, no. And he looks me dead in the eyes. And one word goes, hot. Probably was hot. So he immediately got a bath. He's just covered in pain. That's so gross. That's so gross. So gross. I said, okay, no more of that. No more. I will be out there immediately with you. It's in it. No shoes. No sleep. Him and Lewis go out and shifts. Go out and shifts. This one's not even funny. This one just still makes me sad. Oh, great. Okay. It's different vibe. Everything's fine. But, okay. So one of our kids is sleeps like a rock. And one of our kids. Not so much. And so we never like our youngest just like doesn't wake up in the night. Like consistently never does. One night we heard him make like a couple sounds. Look on the monitor. Don't see anything. And then he just went right back to sleep. It wasn't like he was even crying. But he just kind of was like making sounds which was really unusual. Because he like goes to sleep, stays to sleep the whole night. Right. That next morning when I get him out of his crib, puke everywhere. Oh. I was so sad. Oh, he's just sleeping in it. He's just sleeping in it. Sleeping in it. Just sleeping in it. It smelled so bad. Oh, my gosh. I was like, buddy. Oh. It makes me so sad. And so now I'm like, that just makes my anxiety with this fucking sleep and monitor thing. Just so much worse. Yeah. And so after that, every time I'm like, go check on right up right up. He's like, he literally sneezed. Like everything is fine. But like I just felt so guilty that he like slept in that. But yeah, I actually as a kid did that. I was a little older. And I remember throwing up around me. And my mom came up the next morning because I guess I normally wake up earlier. I did not come down. So she finally came up to check on me. And she's like, when I was coming up this stairs, I was smelling like bad smells. And I was laying there fully awake with my hands in the air. And she was, Abby, why didn't you come get me? And I look at her. I go, I didn't want to get my hands dirty. So I just laid in my, I'm covered, covered in vomit. But I didn't want to get my hands dirty. Me and then I had to say, oh my gosh. Okay, this next mom fell, this happened recently. Actually, we went to the magic house in St. Louis of a winter break. Did I tell you this story? Maybe. And they have this thing called, it's like a super slide. Oh, I heard this from Teresa. That story. It's for ages three plus, TJ has two and a half. And he's like a big kid. And he was a little scared. So we were encouraging it. We're like, TJ, you're going to do great. Buddy, you can go down the slide. It's going so fun. You go down the slide all the time. It's like a three story tunnel slide. It is a aluminum. It's large. Well, and as you go down the steps, it has windows. As a parent, you can watch your kid as they're going down to each level. The visual image just came out. Well, because we went on the same slide a week later or whatever it was. Yeah, so I was like, oh my gosh, I tell you what happened. Okay. So we're like cheering them on. We're encouraging. We're saying, TJ, go, you got this buddy. Be brave. We send him down the slide. We start walking down the first flight. Display window. I just see a washing machine kid tumble down and it's aluminum. It's aluminum. She's just tumbling down the slide. Screaming. She's just like a flash in the pan. There's a flashing pass me. Just tumbling child. And I go, oh my gosh. Yes, I remember. You do it on flights of stairs. It's three stories. It's three flights of like three big stories. So I'm running down the stairs. And I'm yelling to my sisters at the bottom. And I go, CJ's falling. He tumbled down the entire slide. My sister's at the bottom to catch him. She says he comes down head first, laying on his back. Okay, he started feet first forward. How does he even have it? I think he put his feet down and tripped over him. I felt horrible. So we only went down ones. Only went down ones. And I said, we're never doing that again. We were stuck in that side for a really long time. Oh my gosh. It was so. It was like a movie. Just a picture. You look at just a flash of. Ah. Like down the window. It was horrible. Trisha made this. Wait, was Trisha there? No. I don't know. You told me this one. I didn't tell her about it. Yeah. Oh. Okay. This one was. This one was so bad. Okay. My purpose is by saying we don't have Nerf guns in our house. I'm not strongly opposed to them. But I just feel like it's something that once we introduce. Oh, you're never going back. Never going back. And it will be. I will find bullets everywhere. And I just feel like we need to have more conversations on them. Because they can actually seriously hurt your eye. I got really hurt by Nerf. I know. I'm kind of anti. And so. And I don't even know. But like little boys tend to just create guns out of anything. They do. They do. Shooters. I'm like. They just made up the word shooter. I know. She didn't go around the. You do. Yeah. I feel like it will happen eventually. Right. Let me just say our kids had not seen a Nerf gun before. We're playing at someone else's house. And Griffin brings it up to me. And he's like, Mom, I want you want to play with it. And he didn't know what to do. And I'm like, Oh, buddy, look. And I'm like, I show him my gun. And I'm like, you just push this. Shoot. Under. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's too big. I don't want to. He's bringing a lot to throw to Nerf guns. He brought it to you. He's asking you to shoot him. He's like, how do you use it? He didn't even ask me to shoot him. He's certainly not asking me to shoot him. But I'm like, Oh, buddy, look at this. I can see this. I can see this. I can see this. I can see this. I literally like. I think it was really fun. You just. I don't know. I like this toy. The way he looked at me. The shot. I'll never forget it. It was like my own mom. The betrayal. The betrayal he felt. I'm laughing. Also, I was like, Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. The way that he just literally looked at me. Like my own mother. I dare. What a betrayal. He looked at me like this. (laughs) - What a bit dreamy like this. I was like, I'm just, and that's a really good lesson. Never give it back to face. - Never aim in that people's face. (laughs) - It's so funny. - I don't even, I was like, someone else's face, they went, there's a witness. - There's a witness. - There's a witness. - There's a witness. (laughs) - I was like, oh my gosh. - Oh my gosh. - Try it about that, buddy. - You go to late. (laughs) - It's good as I didn't get his eye. - That was so bad. - It was so bad. (laughs) - That's so funny. - That's so funny. - You know why that's funny? Because we all do it. (laughs) - I was like, oh buddy, love it. - I was trying to show CJ how to use one of those punch balloons. It's on a string. (laughs) - Okay, I didn't hit him, but I go, CJ, look, and I went boom, and it just broke my shoulder. (laughs) - That went pop, it's so fun. (laughs) - And it for two seconds. (laughs) - I go, this is an outside balloon, buddy. - This is an outside balloon. (laughs) - This is an outside balloon. - Oh my gosh, that was so tough. - How's it going? Thanks for sharing that. - Yeah, I have a little moment. - Thank you for your transparency. - Okay, so this other one was recent. CJ transitioned from his crib to his big boy bed. And you know, they have to learn how to sleep, not moving in all directions at night. So you get in the pillow and the blanket. And I was like, well, it's a nap first. So it's fine if he doesn't sleep. Well, he slept. He thought it was sleep fine. He was like, I love this bed. I'm gonna fall asleep. Abby's rolling around. He's always been a very easy sleeper. So I'm like working. And the floors in our house are all tile. Like hard, hard tile. And I don't know this was such a mom fail. I always said, and I'm working and I hear, "Konk." Silence. - He does have long causes. - She stops breathing for so long. And I run in there. 'Cause I know immediately this kid just fell on the bed. Like, not of his crib. Fully upside down, stuck in a scorpion. His feet are touching the back of his head. And he's just not breathing, just stunned. Like he's thinking about he was in a dead sleep. A dead sleep. And he's upside down, head on the floor. Just crying. And I'm like, I am such an idiot. Why didn't I put a pillow, a blanket? Why didn't I move his foam pad? Just two inches to cover the floor. Poor kid, head injury that day. - Yeah, yeah. - I was even the one I was thinking, oh, what was my. I was thinking of when you're in Missouri. Oh, we should insert an image. - Visual aid for this one. This one, we had, you know, we were like, he's been in his taller bed. So he's like, you got it, buddy, a mattress on the floor. We're not going to bring your pack and play. You'll sleep gray. The kid is, poor kid is terrified of all sleep on this mattress in the middle of the floor. He wakes up. I guess he fell off the bed and the middle of the night. Wakes up under like the bed frame of the bed next to him. - Don't wear the mattress off of it. - Well, Caleb was going to have him sleep in it on the bed frame. It was like, Caleb is best to tall. I think he's going to fall off. - You loved him. - Move the mattress on the floor. Sure did fall off. Underneath the other bed, woke up horrified. He woke up not breathing so scared. - That's what I did. - He's a deep sleeper. - He's a really deep sleeper. - Well, I entered an image of him just under this bed. - That would be scary. - Yeah, it would be so scary. So I learned, if you're transitioning your kid, put some pillows on the floor. - Okay, this one somewhat recent. So I went to go buy dog food and my friend works where I buy the dog food and she carries a food out with me. It's very heavy. She's very strong. And so I had the kids with me. I put them in the car, but I could tell that we were going to chat a little bit. She had some things going on. So I wanted to be a good friend and like obviously give her my full attention. I'm like, I'm not going to strap them in the car seats. There can just roam around the car while I'm talking. We have white leather seats, which that's on us. I mean, seriously, can't be mad when those get dirty. Problem is they found ink pins. And so we actually got so, Matthew really got so much heat on Instagram or what, take talk or whatever. 'Cause he showed him cleaning the car and he showed like they're like, you let your kids run crazy. And it's like, no, I was actually a foot from them. But they clearly found a good activity because we had blue ink pin over the white leather seats. And you know what? I didn't even really say anything to them. 'Cause I was like, that's on me. Yeah, you're like, I love these two of those. I love to tune a three year old in a car when you're a pin. I mean, I'm right next to them the whole time. And I was like peeking in. I'm like, oh, they're having fun. They're going to keep going. Great. Yeah, I love that. You're using their imagination. They're using their resources. And usually their car is trash. I'm like, there's so many fun things for them to play with. No, they found the pin of all things. And it doesn't come out. And so we used acetone to strip the leather. Strip the leather. So you just have ink pin. It's there. It's there. So what does the leather look like now? So the parts where the acetone was, it's like not even white exactly. It's a totally different finish. And it started to go to like gray. Perfect. Whatever. You just need to color the rest of the seats with the marker and just make it even. Oh, acetone. I was like, you know what, it's just got it. It's just, it's going to look that way. We'll keep the scarf forever. It's our socks. It's our socks. That's great. That's a good fail. My last one is a newborn one. Because Adi said she wants to hear a newborn one. When CJ switched, he started doing formula at like six months. And around seven months, Caleb was giving him a bottle and it took about 40 minutes for him to drink out of this bottle. And he was like, what is going on? Why will it take him so long to drink this bottle? Well, it turns out we had a seven month old drinking out of a newborn nibble. And that's a slow flow. Slow flow. It's like trying to get eight ounces. Let's go. [LAUGHTER] Can I tell you my fails? Like you give him a coffee straw. No, literally. I need to be opposite. I went to go order her new nipples. Yes. She needed to go up. She's getting to go up in size. Choke like crazy. Yeah, we actually only have that size. We only have the bigger size. She never had a newborn nibble. What? No wonder she didn't like nurse. She didn't give me that bottle. No wonder. First, she was like, man, I don't really interested in that. No, she's like, the bill comes out so much faster. She didn't do any more. She wanted the bottles. They were coming. She didn't want to have to work for it. Oh my God. So I need to-- so I ordered new ones. And I put them on and said, these are the same size. I was like, oh my goodness, Eddie. Yeah, she's always had three plus month bottle nipples. Perfect. Unfortunately. Oh my gosh. But she does great. She drinks bottles. Maybe that's my mom hack. She actually took-- once we got a nipple show. She did breastfeeding and bottles perfectly fine. There we go. It could be a hack or a fail. There you go. That was great. Thanks for laughing with us. Well, it wouldn't be fair if we just only talked about the fails. We got to also talk about the wins. We got to talk about the hard in the hope. That's right. That's what this podcast is all about. And so not necessarily the wins, but we're going to talk about some of our mom hacks, if you will. I love it. Also, there's no judgment on any of those. I don't hear no judgment. We're not judgment. We're not judgment. We are all-- that's why it's a fail. You'll live and you'll learn. Yes. That's the whole point of having fails, honestly, so that you learn. Don't do it again. Don't do it again. That's right. [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] OK, yeah, we have some hacks. Do you want to show your first hack? Yes. This one's actually kind of like a serious one. I don't know what the person was kind of serious, too. OK. This one-- we actually did it when Griffin turned one. And now he's three and a half. And so we've done this for two and a half years with both of our kids. And it works really well for our kids. Now, I'm going to say this, like, every kid's different. For sure, I know that. And things that worked for one of my kids is not worked for the other vice versa. But this works for both of them. And mine is have a family motto. And I feel like when they're young, honestly, you can start with one word. And usually, we just say howards are. And then we say, like, one word. So we had three, and it was really hard for them to memorize it. But they pick up quickly. And so we said, howards are patient, generous, and kind. Now, we have kind of like expanded on some of those. But patient, generous, and kind for us was a really good foundation because it gets a lot of those early misbehaviors. Like, they don't want to share their toys. It's like, well, howards are generous. So that's where it really helps. Is when you have a strong family motto. When there is a misbehavior, you can see where they can put it in their category. It's like, oh, this is an OK because this is what's true about us. And so-- and I also think that they really remember. I'm like, oh, but wait a minute. Howards are. And then they're like, generous. So patient is another one because obviously, little kids are like, blah, blah, blah. Or like, they need things now. There's no concept of-- it's really hard for them to conceptualize, like, tomorrow, or five minutes even. And so it's like, we just-- we are patient. And so that kind of helps those whining behaviors sometimes. And then kind, that kind of gets every-- like, the hitting, the yelling, the general reaction towards other kids. Those three really surfaced them all. We've expanded now to also obedient. And also, we've workshopped a few others that haven't worked. We were thinking, good friends to others. And I'm like, it's just too wordy. Too wordy, yeah. So we're going to switch it to servant-hearted because I feel like it wasn't even just about friends. It was more about having service towards others. And we do these things. We make ourselves uncomfortable sometimes to serve others. So we're going to add those two-- we've already added obedient. And now we're going to work on servant-hearted because that feels a little bit advanced. But I think we're ready for it. Yeah. And so I think having that family motto, though, is just a really good thing, because we can also say it for ourselves. It's like, I'm doing this because howards are kind or like-- and I think it can also age well with them. Totally. And so whenever there is a misbehavior, just constantly going back to that family motto, really feels like it makes it clear for them. And it's also really concise. Yes. I stole that from you. I didn't create this, by the way. I don't know who I got it from. But it's good. It's really good. No, I heard you say that to Griffin when he turned one. He said, Howard's a generous. That's the first time I remember. And I started using that with CJ when he got older. It also is really convenient that we have the same last name. Like, well, CJ, howards are. Howards are. But yeah, the one I've been using a lot with CJ recently is howards are-- howards do hard things. Oh, yeah. Because I feel like he's getting to a point where I'm like, why is he trying-- why do you mean lazy? Where's the lazy? I don't know. He can't do. Not lazy, but, you know. Like doesn't want to throw his trash or do it so I'm like how are two hard things buddy like and I think it's been really It's an uplifting way to instill What's the word instill values in them right and because I feel like Ticks man I'm on that too. I hate as a parent when I'm constantly like no. Stop. Don't Whereas like this is like an actual that they can do it's like Mm-hmm and because otherwise I feel like it's like what do you want me to do like I this is what I like my Instinct is telling me to do like this is what You know human nature telling me to do and it's like but it's like yeah, it's also not like you're being mean It's like it howards all of us are kind, so I also have to buy by these right and so I think it's like it makes a family unit Which is cool, right? I really liked that when you stood that. That's a great number one tip. Thank you my number one tip is I prompt the response that I want to hear and I actually heard you do this today with Griffin You said hey, we're leaving in one minute. Let me hear you say one minute and then they said one minute And I do this with CJ where especially on the more serious things If I'm asking him to put his shoes on and get in the car and like some of the stuff that obviously could just do not want to do But I feel like these are the things I'm parenting that can drive you crazy is when your kids aren't listening and so I go Hey, CJ. I'm not asking you, but I'm telling you we're gonna put her shoes on right now And then we're gonna get in the car say yes, ma'am and then he'll say yes, ma'am and it's kind of like this Like I'm prompting him and like hey, I'm expecting the action and the response at the same and it's obviously respectful And I feel like that's helped us a lot with like a no kind of Obviously, he's not perfect at it, but I feel like it's helped a lot with like the repeated begging to do things It's like when he's like oh, I have to respond and I'm gonna say yes Then I'm gonna do it and I think this has been really really helpful and discipline and some of these like Parenting things are just not so fun. That's a really good one because I feel like it's easy as a mom of toddlers Just get so naggy like I feel myself doing I'm like I've told them a million times to do it like Should I sing it in a song like what should I do to get them to actually listen, but I think you're right like prompting that response It's like okay now. I know that you know because I feel like I can't give you a consequence if I'm not even totally sure You heard me right or we're listening, but that Val that like validates that okay, you did hear the expectation now If you make the choice to not do that Mm-hmm. It's clear for me now that you're like how are there obedient and so like this like and so yeah I'm also prompting respect to I feel like it's really good too So you say put your listening ears on he goes no mom. I'm not putting my listening ears like no mom I'm not listening Okay, well we'll come back to this. These are not full for things are these are ideal scenarios are busiest and areas This one is unhinged and so once again don't want to hear any judgement because it's not gonna change Don't mess with lunch Honestly love that Abby. Okay, don't do lunchtime. Here's the thing three meals a day is crazy With toddlers they don't eat that much food They and so I found myself early on with them I was like constantly like their little silicone plates like just dumping the entire plate and just starting again I'm like, oh, they're still lunch on it now it's dinner time breakfast three times a day Yeah, it was driving me insane and they also weren't eating fair. They're playing they weren't eating food But if you present it as a snack and it literally is a snack, which essentially is what kids lunches often are and yeah Then it they eat more. It's more well-rounded because they look at it and they're like they feel like they chose a snack Right like is all bring an option of fruit. I'll bring it like a protein option like a beef stick cheese or yogurt Like any fruit banana oranges Strawberry anything and then some type of like curvy option like chips crackers or granola bar and That's that's lunch That's lunch. I'm not gonna lay a plate down and ask you to sit down because I'm only gonna do that fight twice a day Right exactly. I'm not doing that fight three times a day. That's crazy. That would be my whole day Uh-huh. So this is my back. See you. Don't do lunch. Don't do lunch. It's freeing. It's free. Yeah It's done and then you can do it on the go. Yeah, we'll go to parks and I'm like, oh you want your snack and then I'm just make sure that they get Like one of those three things and yeah, some heck throw fruit snacks in there. Yeah, of course. It's lunch time It's lunch time snack time. It's a fun time today. I don't do it It's a trap seriously. I feel like I give CJ a full breakfast and then he's like snacks until dinner Right. He just eats all day long. That's all it is and I'm okay with it. Yeah, there's so much or small. Yeah, there's so much They're small They don't need to fill up three times No, they don't that's crazy. That's crazy My second one's also food related. I was having a huge issue With breakfast time, especially once I had Vivian and I would have to nurse in the morning first thing and then by the time I'd be done nursing CJ would be starving for kid and then it's like okay, then I have to cook and prepare breakfast and it was just too long of a time to go without feeding him and so what I did was I would give him like a breakfast snack while I was nursing to then Tie them over until breakfast and I felt like that was like a real hack I'm like, okay, I would give him one of those way goes protein yogurts and then I would give him his little vitamins and that would hold him for 25 minutes until I could go make the rest of his breakfast Because the kids very he loves his pancakes. It's just a time consuming task. So Give your kid a little snack like a little fruit a yogurt before the breakfast That's good one. Yeah, thank you. I feel like we're always heading out the door too fast that I don't have the time But if I was nursing that would change it was really hard when you're nursing because you're just sitting there and your poor kid is just waiting for you So patiently to be done, you know, and I'm like, I'm sorry You want to eat food too? I know Okay, this is also another like more serious one related to like behavior Modification. I don't know what the word is we're used for that consequences, but I started to frame Whatever our kids had a consequence. I started to really make sure like Whatever their consequences. I kind of like hold that certain like kind of lightly because I'm also not exactly sure what I want to do best I recognize that usually like if there's certain behaviors, especially where someone else is getting hurt They need to be away from that situation. I don't love the idea of time out So usually they're in the same room as us, but just separate and they have to be like they can be with us They can see with us. I would even sit with them, but we're with them and we're kind of still workshopping that because I'm like I don't know how effective this is, but I've noticed that the true like where I really feel like I'm reaching them after a misbehavior is the Conversation after whatever the consequence was is done and so Matt and I have both been really intentional with the how we frame Like that resolution time and it can be hard to do in the moment But this framework made it like kind of seamless so we say like why are you taking a break? And they can answer this younger than you think like why are you taking a break? And then they can usually answer and then it says what are you going to do differently next time? And then what should you do now and those three questions like Really helped me feel like okay, whatever this consequences. I don't care that's necessarily like they hate whatever they're doing But that I can come to them and like really like have this resolution moment It really has been so good and now the kids are doing this on their own So like in the car they weren't listening great today after she and Randomly oggy my youngest he goes cipher not listening mom. I'm gonna listen next time. Oh my god And I was like, I love that because it's like and I made a huge deal about it. Yeah Yeah, but I'm saying like these three questions made it really easy for both of us to just like always have this like baseline to go back to So it felt like okay, we're not just like Throwing consequences at you or like making you not play or you with your friends because mom and dad are mean Which also we say this I got this from our friend Val. She loves when we share She I really got she's a great parent and I learned a lot from her and so but something that she tells her kids I've started talking my kids is that everyone has consequences because true Everyone on this earth has consequences, and so I don't want them to think that that we're specifically picking on them Which is also why we have like our family motto to it's like we are all held to a standard Mm-hmm, and we're held to a standard as a family and also just like as citizens, right? And so anyway that resolution like moment feels really It feels like a template that is easy to kind of make it all feel clear to everyone like what just happened We don't want to just have tears to have tears or we don't want to just do these things and so it really feels good And I feel like they can start to use it on their own. Yeah, that's a great thing Because I want to just like sorry Sorry that use it that loses its meaning totally and so that has helped a lot. Yeah, that's really good Something that I think I think about a lot too with I just want the expectations to be really clear and so I'm trying to figure out like Okay, the bigger like the more violent things are time out so then I don't want everything that needs to be That everything that requires a consequence to be a timeout so I'm like what are other creative things that I can do in like the discipline realm and Then I'm like okay, but I don't want to lose the expectation to see Jay's like what's it gonna be this time of big consequence or a little consequence and so Kim she's she's been mentor for me. She did this with her kids I thought it was a really good idea It's an if then chart and I think when CJ gets a little older I'll start implementing it when you can understand it better But it's like hey if you hit your sister then no fruit snacks or if you do this then you get a time out or if this you know It's like just really clear Expectations of hey if you choose this choice then this is it and then it's like really easy as a parent to like reflect back to it And I think that's the thing that you're saying to it's really good is like they're able to reflect back to these questions and be like okay this is how that applies and it's like you're thinking through it and then it's not it doesn't always have to be such a big conversation yeah if there's the expectation yeah that clarity is really good and also good for your husband like husband and wife to like okay same expectation holds because there's a chart or like yes this is how we do it yes because sometimes that's hard like when killbs he works normal hours so I'll do certain things I'll try different things with discipline and they'll come home and it's like oh no no I wasn't doing that to you know like yeah so it's like we had to stay on the same page and that's like a huge part and now some learning time but also it is good to start doing those things early because they are really they're really smart they pick up on things really really quickly oh yeah okay so I for my third one you're gonna hate me for this one oh no why my third tip is don't have the perfect environment for sleep you have too much privilege to say this you're gonna give me I think you're gonna get me okay I have my kids are really mild temperament kids so I understand that like they're very just like they love to just lay a mom and they love to sleep so keep that in mind like this is very dependent on kids but something that Caleb and I talked about from the beginning was that like I remember reading some of the stuff about like having the blackout curtains and like the temperature of the room perfectly set and like just creating the perfect sleep environment for your kid and I was like I will definitely do that if my kid doesn't sleep but I don't want to start out that way and then have them only be able to sleep in like this perfect environment so that was kind of like my our last resort was like adding in the different things if necessary um so like when CJ was little he would literally nap in the full-lit room and I wouldn't always put him in his sleep sack if he didn't need it and he always had a sound machine which is easy like on the go to have a sound machine um but these are just different things that I tried and I feel like it benefited our kids are pretty flexible sleepers um so if it's possible that you can do these things and then your kids still sleep the night do it but obviously if you need to be strict but I'm just saying don't I wouldn't I don't ever get the advice like start out super strict with sleep like work your way there I don't think anyone really can because they're in your room with you what do you mean like as a newborn yeah as newborn there's noise there's like yeah but like once you start sleep training you know like maybe a now's in her crib and I vacuumed during her naps like her room does not have blackout curtains Lewis is barking you know yeah there are different elements where I'm like I could put the dog away and like not clean or do certain things to like try to hone in to make sure her naps are perfect but I don't I try not to stress about it mm-hmm and I think it's benefited so far yep I know it's annoying no I love that for you Abigail I love not on one side of you but that's my tip don't start strict if you we did that with I will just give you the little caveat we did that exact thing with Griffin yeah he was slept in the room like in fully lit rooms mm-hmm did it go well yeah I know not every kid is not gonna work for and um so then we learned and did the opposite and then our second was a much better sleeper so I guess I say this because I just feel like the internet is so um you know like they always want to we talked about like anxious moms and like it's always like you have to do these things this thing this thing this thing like start sleep training your care from the day they're born it's like I feel like I just stressed about stuff that was not applicable mm-hmm and like I didn't have to worry about CJ's sleep until I knew if he was a good sleeper or not and so it's like I don't need to implement all these things to create the perfect environment until I know that my kid's not a good sleeper you know what I mean yeah I think it's like it's just let's just take the stress off and just let your kids yeah you know this helped me this actually helped eliminate stress for me personally because I was like I can recreate this and it I'm sleeping yeah who cares but no I think that's I mean I think that's a good baseline but I do think you learn pretty quick whether or not you're gonna have to use intervention no for sure I think also I I have struggled with that a little bit of like we did the sleep training we did the nap training Braille doesn't have like a blackout room she's it's dark but it's not and we have a sound machine but I was really worried about like she naps during church and so she's in the nursery in there and she's only taking 30 minute naps in there at home she takes two hour naps and I'm like that's okay if she takes a two hour nap later but only takes a 30 hour 30 minute nap now that's okay like having to like really tell myself that it is what it's gonna be yes yes because I think we can get so like dependent on the schedule and then we become a slaves the schedule yeah I didn't go to church the first two weeks we sleep training because I was like I'm pro being flexible with the schedule yes so then it's like okay as long as if Vivi has she's taken four naps a day so I'm like if she has two naps in her crib that are good I think that's a great day but she's sleeping through the night so I'm like then if she wasn't sleeping the night then I would adjust and be like hmm we gotta stay home for all for now okay this one this took a lot of reworking because there's a major irritation especially with two tellers keep a pair of shoes in the car oh that's a good good tip just a good tip keep them in the car and when they get home take them off in the car we just have car shoes smart car shoes exist because we couldn't I I'm telling you how many times we'd get to a location and I'd be like you took your shoes off after it took me so long to locate them get them on your feet and then you just rip them off and so I was like that was just making me so agitated I was literally saying it till I was blue in the face I was like keep your shoes on keep your shoes on where your shoes put your shoes on and I was like I'm just done with this we're keeping shoe cars or car shoes car shoes we're keeping car shoes and here's our other advice keep the kids socks by the shoes because I remember so many times heading out the door we finally found the shoes thing goodness but oh socks are up in their bedroom that's a good idea I mean keep the socks by the shoes and that can probably be like wherever your garage door is and also just keep a pair of car shoes don't put them on until you're out your destination that's efficiency brain I don't I would never thought that but I'm like it is so annoying when we're out like get out the door and his shoes are there and I'm like we forgot I'm back in to get socks that was a lot that was my final straw so I mean you need so many things to get out the door with them I just was so tired of fighting with the shoes yes there's four feet the car is the ultimate diaper bag let's just be honest I don't even carry diaper on there keep wipes keep the changing pad in the car go change your baby in the car your extra outfits diapers wipes everything and you'll never have to carry diaper bag it's great it's so great it's great tip daddy my next one we had sand to take the binky and you can have a fictional character take your binky it's so much better because then there's like no chance that thing coming back you know what I mean not because I can now hates Christmas and makes ends of the bad guy make the tooth fairy the bad guy make the Easter bunny the bad guy makes ends of the bad guy make a leprechaun for St. Patty's Day the bad guy that way you don't have to do it and you can start talking about it weeks before hey St. Patty's coming and he's going to take your binky and he's going to leave you the leprechaun coin oh sorry I get the same sorry same Nick took our binky that's crazy it's crazy but it worked for CJ Santa yeah you know what he took those binkies and he gave them to the other little boys and girls that needed them like Vivian like Vivian yes and then if you have a second kid you could gift them just rub it in their face I'm just kidding but it really did work and then because Santa goes away he never asked I mean he would ask me like where am I being kissing like CJ where they go and you go Santa took them with the cookies saying it and it was really easy to reference back and then it wasn't a conversation of hey the binkies are you know you can like I've heard people playing them in the yards and like flowers bloom up and I'm like I think CJ would have gone out there with a shovel and tried to dig them out you know oh we've tried everything I know so I'm like we actually just tell him I'm really big into telling them the truth which is the kind of the opposite I'm like they're messing up your teeth yeah well like Griffith's old enough to understand that now of course he's like yeah they're messing up my teeth yeah and I'm like I think it also comes down to like how what kind of sleep there is your kid yeah like if they like sleep but yeah CJ I would tell not letting off my like CJ you're getting buck teeth buddy so we got the binkies they're just not appropriate why I had the dentists have a conversation too I mean we've really tried we did the fictional character yeah everything and now we did the hack I'm just like let's just let them do whatever the heck they want but they're sleeping no that's a good one that's a good one controversial but good sure my final one is catch them doing good I feel like this is an obvious one but also it can be hard to just remember day to day as a mom like whenever they do something that like a behavior that you want them to do more of and you know that it's especially something that they've changed like it's a you're noticing a difference praise the crap out of it that's my biggest like we we like and it's amazing how they like light up and that's so meaningful to them yeah and so like I said when like they said sorry I was like I really I brought up a couple times like I was like I really like how you apologize and like I was able to forgive you and you and you knew why or like whatever it is even then finishing their plates we have like a whole song they like they're so proud of them for that yeah like eating their meals like when they're supposed to because that's also the difficult that was also my other hack is uh with meals if you're fighting with your toddler about meals we can you can just say we provide you decide Like sometimes I handle that where it's like you can decide if you're gonna get dessert tonight because if I'm Providing you with something now if you're trying something new. We're not gonna hold you to that same standard But for something that's like I know you enjoy this food and you're choosing not to eat it then you decide you decide and so Anyway, praise the crap out of what they do right and I think you would be so like you just see that behavior so much more Yeah, they do respond so well to that. Yeah totally I love when they eat the finished day for the girl. Oh, he finished my food Okay, my last tip this is something that we've decided before she does born honestly because they saw an influencer post about it I was like I'm gonna do that. Um, we really really try to keep screen time to the weekends and that has been it's crazy when CJ Like has screen time like TV time during the week. Uh, I just noticed a lot in his behavior And it's and then it's asked all the time. Mom, I want to watch a show. I want to watch a show And it's like hey buddy actually the expectation we just don't do that during the week Buddy, we just do it on the weekends and it honestly like kind of nips a butt in the asking for cuz I'm like We just don't do that on Mondays today's Wednesday like you can watch TV on Saturday and I think it's been helpful a lot during the week also for me. I think If I'm feeling tired or whatever like I could just be like very easy for me to want to want to show but then it's like no I should just actually put a blanket outside and we go sit in the backyard and like have imagination play or I'll sit and read my book in the backyard So it keeps me off of screens too, which I really liked. Um, and I think it's really fostered CJ has such a he's really good at Imaginative and individual play and I think it's because like I don't have the option of TV during the week and I think it's just been really Like it's been really good in our house. Yeah, it's really good. I didn't stick to that yesterday So mom is not perfect at it, but yesterday we had a sick day and so we didn't watch any tales But we've really tried to stick to it, and I feel like it's kept the screen time conversation to a minimum Yeah, and whatever the expectation is I think those screens, which just it has it's got a state of consistent Yes, because then otherwise they're like well wait, they'll ask for it all the time totally like even if it's like our val Hey girl um talk about our time like they do screen time after naps and so it's just like the hey, no We're not gonna watch it until after like if you just have a set time I feel like that's really the most helpful. Yeah, within parameters. I feel like that's been helpful for us Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness. No stickiness. No residue just plump. Do we hydrate its skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Maybe it's Mabelie Ask, ask, ask, Abby Let's do some voicemails guys. Thank you so much to everyone who calls in and leaves us messages with a question It can be about anything light-hearted silly. It can be serious. I can just be Curious question that you have about us or whatever you want if you want to call in the number is 602 456 and 96 90 will also put it in the show notes Here's the first one. Hi, Abby. My name is Madison and I was wondering What are your favorite parks about living in Arizona? Thank you so much Oh, thanks for calling Madison My favorite part about living in Arizona I think there are a lot of things I really love I love living in Arizona. I love it so much. It's so different than the Midwest So it's also been really fun just to experience something totally different than what we had growing up I mean, obviously the weather here is unbelievable I just really love the access to being outside and the different options of all the things that you can do outside They're just an endless amount of activities here that I really really really love You cannot beat sunshine. No like when we go back home Like I am reminded how much I take for granted the sunny days because it just affects like it's just so gloomy when the sun's like we take for it The sun is out basically every day and when it's not out like today. Oh, it's cozy. It's really it's like a little cozy day It doesn't even feel like there's just like There's just not really bad other here and that just makes a big difference in my motivation to like take care of my own health And also just like get out of the house and do fun things with the kids and also our kids can like basically always play outside Obviously the summer's like the more trickier time But it's just so nice. Yeah, what the hounds out the mouth And even in the summer when it is super super hot um like you swim and sprinklers splash pads Yes, there are different. There's still activities to be outside. What about you Adi? I was gonna say I really like How much there is to do but more so on the thing of like like and I both like sports and watching things like that We live in it's living in a bigger city, but we like are kind of in a suburb area of Phoenix And I feel like I really like that we can go and do major league sports or go to spring training or do these Like cute dates like different places to go to. I think um, I really enjoy is the season I'm in right now totally I could never do everything right now just so different from like growing up in like a smaller for sure. Yeah. Yeah Hi Adi. My name is Nevea and I just the question that I had for you all was What is a season in your life? I feel like you took for granted and you go back and just like relive every moment If you could I love your old podcast and thank you for listening. Bye. That's a really good question I have to think about that for a second. Thank you Nevea for that. That's really that's a thought provoking one Every season of my life I can say like I have thoroughly enjoyed I don't know that I could say the word like I felt like I took that for granted But there's really sweet things that I like can recognize more in hindsight about certain things in my life And I think about being a kid a lot like I'm like oh that was such a like I don't know It was such a sweet time such a comforting time. Yeah, and like I knew that I felt like I had the freedom to make decisions But ultimately I knew that my parents were going to like step in and take care of things for me And I think I appreciate that even more now being a parent Like it's so fun being on this side of things there's so much responsibility So then you think about like okay, nothing was actually truly that serious when I was a kid Like that feels and that was because I had really good parents like you know the stakes were pretty low And so I don't know I just saw always thinking about like oh when I was a kid totally things were just things just happened Just free things just happened food was there. Yeah, I think it was one of our first episodes You said I just went to dance practice and just went to school with dance dance and My parents made it happen for me they made it happen and so it's just like yeah, it's sweet I don't think that I necessarily took it for granted. I think I always knew I was like I This is great that I'm like very grateful that yeah, I had to do this thing, but I'm like wow That was so good. That was literally so good I'm also so grateful. This is kind of like a little bit off track with this question But I'm always so grateful that every season of my life. I've had good friends Yeah, and I think that has also made like even the hard things in my life like So much less difficult than they could have been and so I especially had like I have really good friends growing up Which I think is like probably the most important time to have good friends. Yeah, and that's the thing I wish the most for my kids is like please Make them be friends with like good examples. Yeah, for sure. I mean that influences their life so much I don't I don't really feel like there's a season in my life though. I feel like I've taken for granted either I feel like a I feel like I've always had a very gracious like I've always felt so much gratitude for different seasons and Um, I think it's something a season that just like that newly wed season with Caleb was so sweet I look on it like back when it's so fondly It was just such a fun fun fun season and I don't think I realized in the moment how fun it was Um, so I think maybe that is a season. I look back on it was like those first Three years married also it was COVID and we were newly wedged So we got married in 2019 and then COVID hit that whole year just disappeared I don't know what happened to it But like what a fun time to be Quarantine with your best friend you know is so fun just getting to spend So much time with you because we worked from home. We were together all the time and now I feel like I barely You know, I don't see them often as much so I love love that. I probably took all the time we spent together for granted Mm-hmm. That's special. Yeah. Well, this segment is called always eating always eating Which I'm actually hungry right now. Yeah, honestly. Let's go home and eat We're trying to just think about like how we can give to you guys and like I don't know Just to make this more of a community. We're still having conversations So we're open once again to any suggestions. I feel like a lot of us in this community are in a season of either being like a newly wed Mom like we have got people. We got a few good a great range. Yeah, we can't people we got a few We have a good range, but we all of the common thing of we're all hungry and you have other people are hungry That we got it feed and so we were thinking about sharing a new recipe every week To kind of just help if you're like, oh, I make the same things every night or I don't I have no idea what's a cook tonight So if you're heading to the grocery store right now while you're listening this or after listening to this We've got a couple new recipes for you. We'll link them below I linked my shrimp tacos because I just started making this again a lot But I'm telling you you got to buy your shrimp from Costco Actually, I have to have one of you Abby you have to buy from same club really it's three pounds for $21 peeled, deveined raw. - Ooh, I don't have a Sam's Cloth Emotion. - I know, I was gonna tell you you need to get one. - We just got one, you can need it. - Just to get shrimpies? - No, but I have heard Sam's is better than Costco. - It's just a little cheaper. - No, here's the thing, Costco has way better healthy options, but Sam's is cheaper. - Well, I'm probably sick to Costco. - I know, just get my two. - It's two pounds, but it's peeled, deveined, and raw, but they have the biggest shrimp. It's hard to find peeled, deveined, and raw. - Yeah, it is hard. - It's hard combo, but they got it at Sam's and Costco, so whatever membership you have, you're covered. Shrimp tacos, I don't follow this recipe. This recipe is just a good baseline, it's very flexible. Basically, just cook your shrimp and just put all the toppings on that you like, but this is just a good seasoning blend, and it's just the sauce is good, and it's foolproof. - I love your shrimp tacos when you make them. - Thank you. - I eat a lot of all of them. - I'm trying to make 'em huge. 'Cause I also love the tortillas from Costco. - They're so good. - They have raw tortillas, it really makes all the difference. I'm rambling right now. - I feel like those are good for dinner and lunch, too. - My recipe is a cabbage soup, which sounds weird. I just love cabbage, and I always have. - You're gonna have to make this for me, 'cause I saw you share the recipe and I was a little skeptical. - Well, okay, so I'll link a recipe that I kind of adapted my own, but the recipe itself is good. - Okay. - But I put it on my Instagram story. It's like my own little adaptation of it, but it's hearty, it's warm, it feels healing. It's just the perfect blend of warming herbs and good vegetables, and I added chicken for protein, it is so good. So it was a crusty bread, it's a win. - Okay, I'm not gonna try it. - Yes. - I'm excited about that, and it sounds very healthy, too. - It is. - Okay, book review time, everybody. Your homework is due, did you read the book? We're actually still transparently trying to figure out the best way to do this book club, 'cause it sounded like a great fun idea, sent it, and we mostly just wanna do fun things like foster community with y'all. And I love to read. I feel like we got a couple readers in here, Abby. You like to read, too? - Yeah, I like to read when I'm told to read. - When you're told to read. - And so, yeah, so we're just trying to figure out what the best way to do this is, 'cause for those of you that didn't read the book, you're probably like, - I didn't read the book. - I didn't read the book. - I don't care, I don't want spoilers. So maybe on this video, we can put a timestamps for when we're talking about the book, and we'll try to keep it somewhat brief, but maybe down the line, we're thinking of other options of what's the best way to do it. We thought about having like a separate channel, maybe Patreon type of thing for those of you that want to be a part of the book club. We thought about doing all kinds of different discord chats, like keep it separate, or we can keep it in here, but mostly we just want your guys' feedback. Like, what do you prefer? 'Cause we're just figuring this out. - Yeah. - Was it still new? - In the Goodreads, I think a lot of people have said the link isn't working, and also I feel like we don't know how much to engage in the Goodreads. So if there was a different platform, that's a little easier to do the book club and we want that. And obviously we would make it like accessible and easy and stuff. - Yeah. So, or if you're like, hey, this is preferred, do it this way. This is a democracy. So you need to speak up. - You always hold me? - Is it a democracy or an oligarchy? - What's it? - Wait, what's wrong? - oligarchy's like Kings and Queens. - You guys are the democracy. - I don't know. - It's a democracy. - You gotta vote. - You guys vote, please. - This is an inherited spoiler alert. We're gonna give spoilers. So if you don't want to listen, they'd be fast forward. - For my husband's wife, for Alice Fee. If you haven't read it and want to read it, skip, skip. But don't leave. Just skip. (laughs) - Okay, let's start with everyone's ratings. - Five stars. - Ooh. - Yeah. - There you go. - I was getting a 3.5. - Oh my gosh. - I get a 3 as well. - Oh, so on Goodreads it actually be a 3. - Yes, that's why I couldn't, I was gonna do a 3.5, but Goodreads you can only do full stars. So I did a 3. - Why? - I think I'm dumb. I'm actually still confused. - You finished the book? - You both finished the book? - Yes, sat myself down. - I didn't read it so fast. I was like, I'm gonna have to go back 3.5. - No, I'm actually still confused. I feel like, okay, here's my thing. No, let you guys talk. - No. - There's too many crazy people in this book. - There are a lot of crazy people. - What are the odds at all? Like, every single character is crazy. - Is willing to do something crazy. - And it's got to a point where I was like, first of all, I'm like, it's a thriller. It's not like real, so obviously it's gonna be fiction, but it just got to a point where I was like, it was too much. - Everybody is psycho. So it's not based in any kind of like, it kind of lost me. Like I was like, okay, every single character is loony too. - Sure, sure. - I could see that. - It was like, it wasn't grounded in something. - I was confused because I thought Harrison committed to like, said he murdered her a million times, but he didn't, wasn't the murderer. - I think they wanted you to think. I feel suspicious of everyone. - Yeah, I was suspicious. - Harrison was actually the cleanest of them all when you really think about it. He just created a weird company. - But then he was, at the end, he was like, I don't, my company's not, not worth it. It's not real. - Yeah, he wasn't worth it. - He knew it was bad to know when you were gonna die. I ate, the reason I gave it three stars. It took me at least 45% of the way through to be like, oh, stories connecting. Like the first, 'cause it's just like two separate parties talking in one of them and then there's everyone else. And I'm like, how do these connect? And so once they connect it, I was like, okay, now I'm starting to understand what's happening. But I would read it again in the end. - I liked the first half better, actually. - When Eden died, I was shocked. - Shocked. - Really? - Remember when her, her, her, - Oh, off the couch. - After, and she goes, and this is how I died. And I was like, oh my gosh. She died, the main character. But then you realize she's not the main character. - Well, she actually didn't die. - No, she did die. - No, that was Mary. - No. - Eden did not die. - We're all like, it used to. - Go eat a fox, did die. - No. - It's fake wife. - She's the one that can't, sir. - No, that's birdie. - No, that's birdie. - Oh. - Birdie didn't die. - Abby is confused. We might need to explain the book. - Did Eden die? - Eden died. - Eden got pushed off of her body. - No, that way Mary, guys Google it. - No Mary isn't Switzerland with Harrison, living happily ever after. - Yes. - Yeah. - Oh, Jane thought it was Mary. And accidentally killed Mary instead of, or actually killed Eden instead of Mary. - Yes. - Because Jane is the one who pushed her off. - Yes. - Because we were in the whole time, you're like, who pushed her off? - That was a terrible mastermind to me. - Because you barely talked about her. - Yeah. - I was Carter's wife. - But at the end, I actually liked that. - Really? - Yeah, because it was very unsuspecting and then at the end, when she was talking about my husband's wife, I was like, wait, who is talking Eden? Or I don't know who, I thought I was Eden. - Oh my god. - And it was Jane. - And it was one that it's not even about Eden or something. - Or the title of the book is not even about. - Like I feel like it was cool because the title, my husband's wife, applied to two different stories. I kind of like, yeah, I think that was creative. - I liked this one more than the other Alice Fanny book I read, which was rock paper scissors. - Me too. - Because I think that beginning was really strong. - I also liked the setting better. - Yeah. - I didn't like the setting of rock paper scissors. - Yeah, just an isolated, yeah. - But I'm still confused. - Uh-huh. - So. - The person who gets pushed off the cliff is the real Eden fox. - The real Eden. - Yeah, the real Eden. - I. - And then Mary. - Sorry. - And Jane tried to kill Eden, but it was actually Mary. And she didn't even know that she killed. - No, Mary's not dead. - She tried to kill Mary. - She tried to kill Mary that she thought was Eden, but it wasn't. - Yes. - Pause. How do they look so much alike? - Yeah, I don't know, that's weird. - That was all so crazy. - But a lot of these people had never met her before, like, had never met Eden. Like, in the town, because Mary was going around and meeting people, like, this whole time, but had not known, like, Carter slept with Mary. - Uh-huh. - Not Eden. - But he just kissed her, I thought. - Oh, maybe they just kissed. - Yeah, but still. - He was maybe fantasizing about. - No, they had. They just kissed on his desk. 'Cause he said I wanted to say that. - That's what she saw, but then he actually did sleep with Bertie. - But he slept with Bertie. - See, this, too, a fair is actually there. - That's what I'm saying, this is crazy. Like, Jane was willing to commit that crime just to have a kiss, 'cause that's the only thing she witnessed. - Yeah. - I know, but then he was actually cheating. There was just too many, I didn't really like the storyline of how Eden pushed the daughter over the balcony. I'm like, that just feels so far-fetched. Like, she wasn't actually hit by the car. That whole story was like a little crazy. - All of it was just amazing. - And then Gabri, Gabriela, the daughter is crazy. - It's also crazy, just randomly one chapter where you find out she's crazy. - Or like at the end they try and they try and sneak in that she's locking Eden out of the house. This is my house. And she's like in her clothes and stuff. And then she goes, don't mess around like that. And then she lets her in the house. Like, it was like weird. - Yeah, yeah, I agree. And when they, they ended the chapter with, one of the chapters with Gabriela jumping out of the car. - Yeah. - And then never really came back to that. There was too much happening. And too short of a book, honestly. - I'm trying to wrap up all the loose ends at the end. - I was lost. I'm actually clearly still lost. - I actually, I really enjoyed it. - I was really brief. - I thought it was very entertaining. - I wouldn't recommend it personally, but. - Really? - I would. - I highlighted, or this was chapter 10. So we were really very beginning. Said, I'm Olivia Bird, I tell him. And then his face folds into a frown and he shakes his head. Olivia Bird is dead. I said, what the heck is this freaking book? - I'm so confused. - I know. - That was about the grandma. - Like was dead. - Oh yeah, the fact that two characters had the same name. - The grandma was in there with such an intricate, she died twice, and the mom died. And I was like, there was so much happening. - Yeah, I was thought it was, I think if the mom died twice and then birdie died twice, that would have been, I think I'm just too dumb for this book. - No, it was a lot. She does have, I think Elspini, Can someone confirm that she has all 10 fingers? Because-- - She's crying because of fingers. - Because of fingers. - So does she have all 10 fingers? Why is this her signature? And the other book we read by her rock paper scissors, the book ends with a finger cut off with a ring on it. That's why Abby made cookies in the original video. - It was a ring on it. - Kind of a finger off in this book. - It was Olivia Bird's finger. - Yes. - It was the grandma's finger was cut off with the green ruby. - Yeah, or something. - Yes. - And she not have all fingers. - She has nine fingers. - Ah! - Call it! (laughing) - That's a finger. - Oh my god, that's so cool. - So she has spoken publicly about losing part of her finger in a childhood accident. It's something she occasionally mentions in interviews and other talks. - Oh my god. - Well, she mentions it in her books. - Yes. - That's fun. - Oh, that was crazy. - Okay, that's cool. - That's really good. - I love when an author has a signature. - Yeah, I think I actually still need to Google and just like, please explain the ending of this book. - Oh my god. - Who's who? 'Cause see, I think what's happened is that like, the parts that were actually married, but you're thinking are birdie. - Yeah. - Never got rewritten in my brain. - Yeah, it is. - So I'm like, she has really hardcore twists. I never expect her twists. In both stories, I was very shocked by her twist. - My hot take though is that like, I like to be surprised by a twist, but I just think that her twists are just underdeveloped. Like, you should be able to make inferences of some kind, or at least go back and say, oh, this was this, but I feel like it just smacks you out of nowhere. - It does smack you out of nowhere. - I think it is why I like it. - I'm like, is that good though? - Like, story development, I don't know. - But, yeah, you know, it was a good thriller to start. It's a fast pace, wanna start your year off. - It was really fast. - You can get one book under the belt. - Well, I can read another. - Yeah. - I have a suggestion for the next one. - Yeah, I was gonna say we probably should, if we have another book. - I feel like we need to do a new release that's not brand new. - Okay. - Because it's hard to get our hands on. We heard some feedback about that. But this one came out last year, and it's called Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Read. And it's a fiction, but it takes place. It's related to females going to space, and people say it's very inspirational and really good. And I really like the author. She wrote Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, which I've heard of that, but I never read it. - She also wrote Daisy Jones in the Six. - Fun. - But this one's kind of like, it's like a slightly historical fiction, but it's like the 60s, I think. - But it feels like girl power, and I feel like that'd be fun. - Yeah, let's go, always homies. - It's a fiction, it's not like, it's not, it's a story. - Yeah, fun. - It came out last year. - It has 65,000 reviews and 4.5 stars. - Fun. - Let's do it. - Okay. - Atmosphere. - It's a GMA book club pick, a love story. - Perfect, love story. - Love story. - I mean, change a pace. I feel like that one was, that one got me. I also read a thriller before that, so that disturbed me. So maybe I just need a happy little letter. - Give me a little letter. - Well, just be a depressing, depressing book. - Depressed, something. - I enjoyed the book club, and I'm glad that we're doing this. - Oh, my other side note, really quick, one more thing is that the subplot of the paintings felt underdeveloped as well. - That did. - Did you just kept painting spider? - That they all painted, and then like the wolf and the, like all the points just felt underdeveloped to me. Like, it felt like there was a lot of good potential, but then it never came full circle enough for me to be like, appreciate those, like plot elements. - You wanted to be a longer book. - Maybe it needed to be longer, but I do think some of the things needed to be a winner. - Or edit it out. - Some of the very good things needed to be a winner. - Not as many lunatics. - Sure. - Yeah, I feel like they could've been some editing. - There wasn't one sane character. - Yeah. - Carter was crazy too. - What happened? Okay, question, another random thing. What happened to Maddie? You know, they're like, we can't contact her. She's not answering your phone. - Yeah, Maddie disappeared. - Oh yeah, she disappeared. Well, the power went out. - I was just kind of like-- - The day of the dead, that was not that important. - She said the power was messed up. - Yeah, the power was kind of like so. - Yeah, that never played a role. The day of the dead really never just came to do anything. I thought we're sure someone was gonna be hidden. - Well, Jane came and looked at, was dressed up and came and looked at Birdie, but Birdie had taken all the pills and passed out. And so she's like, up, she's already dead. - She's already dead, so I don't have to kill her. - Right, right, right. - You. - You. (both laughing) - Yeah. - All right. - I'm glad. I wasn't mad at it, I was just kind of like, eh. - Gotcha. - Okay, in closing, we just wanna say thank you guys. Wow, this was a long episode. Thank you for sitting with us and chatting with us. So, actually, I was gonna tell you at the marriage conference, a woman came up to me and she said that her and her daughter listened to always hear everything together. - Oh, but it's so sweet. - I had a girl come to church and she's tailored her daughter, Ila, so sweet. She's the first one I ever come to me. - Oh, I know, I love the mother daughter. - That's so sweet. - I know, it's so fun. So thank you guys for saying hi and listening. It's crazy. - Yes, and especially we wanna thank Haley for she did the next write step. (laughing) Write a review, she wrote, love you all. I look forward to this each week. It really does feel like I'm right there with you all. When Abby would talk about her books on on plan and joke about having a reading corner segment, I'd always beg for it. So now that you guys added a book club, I'm so happy. You guys do so amazing. If you love girl talk friendships and books, this is the podcast for you. - Amazing. - So we thank you so much, Haley. And also, anyone that is feeling generous today, please take a moment or two to just write a quick review, subscribe, share this episode, download, what are all the things you can do, part it. I don't know, give it a thumbs up. Whatever you need to do on whatever platform you're listening on to just show them that you're enjoying us. And you tend to come back. It really means a lot. We're so thankful to you. And so is our entire team. So it's not just for me and Abby and Abby. There's more people behind the scene that also are really encouraged by that positive feedback as well. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Well, I have to pee. Yeah. You know what you guys remember? We're always here. (upbeat music) Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York. Tell the mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just plump, dewey, hydrated skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily, New York. Maybe it's Mavily.