Our Moms Play Agree To Disagree

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Tiedes kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu, kuten varaston suunnittelu. - I had questions. - I should do an answer them honestly. - Yes. - I genuinely didn't know for so long. - I'm sorry. - I was very sheltered. And I didn't, you know what, everything worked out just fine. - That was great. - But you did, I was interested. - So yeah, it was really dating a lot. - Wow. - Yeah. - I didn't, I didn't show any energy boys, really. But also, I did, I was telling you, I remember when you gave me the puberty talk though, we were in a subway after dance. - Do you remember that? - A little bit. - I remember literally, I like, my soul left my body at that moment. And I was like, you're telling me. Blood. Like, I was like, I literally said, I was like, I just told Chloe that wasn't true. - Was it before I could at school? - It was before we went to school, 'cause then when school happened, I was like, oh my gosh. - The school talk. - She was telling the drama. - Yeah. - I remember the school talk too. I remember you sat me down before the school talk and you're like, you're gonna have a talk at school where you learned about these things. And then you kind of explained like what my period was and everything. And I'd just be like, oh, I just don't want that for a long time. - Yeah. - Good thing she didn't have to worry, 'cause I got it like five years later. - Well, I was used to the talk at school because when I taught fourth grade, I had to bring my class. Like, you had to divide up the girls and the boys and I would always take the girls to the talk and then the other teacher would take all the boys and they'd watch movies about baby animals. - And I don't know why that one, but every year that's what they did. And then we'd come back and then the boys would be like, where do you guys go? - And girls would-- - And girls would-- - They'd swipe. - They'd take all your stuff in your locker before you go back and you don't have to tell them where you went. - Yeah. - It's such an ominous day for you guys, I'm sure. - But give you a singular maxi pad. And I was just like the tiny-- - Just for it. - Whatever. - I was like, this goes where? (laughing) - And I just was like so scared and I kept that in my locker for like five years, just like-- - Yeah. - Big secret. - Any day, no. - Just in case. - I went and it was 14. - More 14 when you got your baby. - That was pretty old. - At least I don't remember. - I remember dad brought it up when I got home that day. - Or maybe it was an eighth grade, but I don't remember. - I brought it home. - I was 14. - Yeah, I think it was 12 or 13. - Didn't I take you out like for a special lunch or something? - Yeah, you did. - Yeah, we did. - We did. - We did. - We did so with all the girls. - Yeah, but when you did that-- - We did so with all the girls, whenever. - Yeah, that was really key to that. - Yeah, it was just kind of like a little transition in the motherhood or-- - No, motherhood. - Adulthood. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yes, yeah. - That was cute. - Kind of into becoming a young adult. - I do remember what you said that wasn't quite correct. - Yeah, we also-- I said my parents were married for 25 years. - No, it's 32 this year. - Oh my gosh, you really don't know. - So anybody doing the math? - She did have to count before this episode. - I was like, I know it's more than that, but-- - Because I heard what you said. - She's like, you're scandalous. - I said, I'm like, this is not correct. I need credit for every one of those years. - Yeah, yeah. - We need credit. It's been 30 years. - So she did fact check me out. I was like, why didn't no one-- I didn't even-- I said it so confidently. - We even did something from our third year. - Yeah, we did, but that she came with, but anyway. - Are you guys at 35? - 36. - 36. - We're 36. - Yes. - You guys are both impressive. And we want to hear all your guys' advice throughout this episode. - Okay. - So I'm glad that we set the record straight for you guys. Sorry about that. And sorry for any other misinformation we spread about you in the future. - Yes. - And probably won't be the first time. - It's going to be the first time. - We just landed your name. - Yeah, I was like, Maul's been married for 25 years. - I'm 27 years. (laughing) - John's going away. - Should we move on to our segment? - Yes. - We've spent a little day for you guys. - Okay. - Okay, this game is called Agree to Disagree. - Okay. - Okay. - Hand is going to pass out our paddles. - Thank you, Hannah. It's just for you guys, I guess. - This is just a fun game. I don't know. I think they offer a lot of conversation starters - Yes. - So, okay. - I'm free to expand upon your answers. - Okay, with that categorized marriage parenting, working mom, that's it. - Experimenting, working mom. - Okay, that's okay. - Okay, the first one is you guys agree or disagree that you should never go to bed angry. - This isn't the marriage category. - That you should or that you have, you should never go to bed angry. - I agree, that's a good plan. (laughing) - You should have. - Has it always happened? - That's good. - I disagree. I think it depends on what you wanna get back out of the fight. - Like if you wanna keep talking about it. - Like if it keeps happening and it hasn't changed, then go to bed angry and wake up the next morning and see if you can get what you wanted out of bed. - Although that is a point maybe if you're like, you know, heat of the moment, you would say things that you shouldn't. - Right. - That maybe if you sleep on it, you could be more rational about it. - Right, right, thank you. - Thank you. - I can't maybe sleep as well, but. - Yes, that's true. - But yes, yes. - That's true. - That's true. - I mean, for the most part, no, you should not go to bed angry. No, you should, that's not good. But I think every once in a while, you just prove a little point. - Yeah. - That's good, good. - Yeah, you're not feeling like, this is a generational thing in a way. Like where I was like, their advice was like, it was like you should never go about angry, but now our generation's like, you should sleep on it. - Sleep on it. - Sleep on the rest. (laughs) - Yeah, I agree with you. I'm like, I usually need like, I'm an internal processor, so I usually have to sit on my thoughts for a long time before I can verbalize what I want to say. - Oh, I can't sleep. - Oh, I'm just like, usually I bring it up like, if there's something that comes up the next three days. - And I'm like, you know what, three days? 'Cause I'm thinking about it. - She's so patient. - That's a long time, but I'm not a diary of the mouth. (laughs) - Okay, the next question, do you agree to disagree? Your spouse should come before your kids. - Oh, this is tough. (laughs) - Well, I'm disagreeing. - I know the right answer, but I don't know if I, - Well, I disagree too. - I'm going to disagree. - Okay, elaborate. - I mean, I know the right answer is supposed to be your husband's birth, but. - Right, I just put my kids in front of everything. And my husband's okay with that. - And you guys both did it. - Yeah, we both did it. It didn't jeopardize our relationship. It's just, we worked out whatever the kids need it. And one of us took care of it, it wasn't. - Well, we need isn't always what the kids need. Kids need different things than what adults need. Adults can satisfy what we need when the kids aren't there. - It's true. - Does that make sense? - Yeah, you know. You know, when you've got kids, they need you and they need you more than your husband does, I guess. - Right, once you're a mother, you're always a mother. And we're not our husband's mothers, so. - Thank you for taking care of themselves. - Yeah, they're dad's mother. I hope they don't watch this, no. - You think dad's going to watch this episode? - I don't know. - Yeah, I know dad. - Oh. - Yeah, dad don't watch it. - You want to get a heart. - He watches them all. - Yeah, that's so sweet. - I get what you're saying. I also wonder too, I feel like this is really popular advice. Obviously, keep your spouse first, and I agree with it. And I feel like we'll always try to do that. But I also wonder, I'm like, when you have multiple kids and they're at different ages and different phases, like sometimes I feel like the need is just so high or great. So I'm sure it'll fluctuate throughout the years. - Yes, it does. Season changes all the time. Different phases of school and, you know, yes. Different ages, you know, it changes. Yeah, that's good. - Yes. - Yes. Okay, marriage gets harder after kids. Would you agree or disagree? - I don't even hardly remember time. (laughing) But yeah, yes, I'd say agree. - I agree. - I agree. I think marriage gets harder. - I mean, there's more people to consider and there's more issues that come up, and where the money goes and where time goes. - Right, right, right. - I wish I could hang out with you and dad when you were 27. - That would be so fun. I'd be like, what, but we have been friends? - Sure. - You think you're friends? - Sure. (laughing) - I don't think dad would hang out with anybody. - Dad's kind of introverted, so I don't know if he would've hung out with a lot of people, but. - It's just something interesting to think about like our parents being like, - Young. (laughing) - Sorry. - Oh wow. - I'm sorry. - Oh wow. - That one was, there's parents with littles. - You're age. - You're age. - You're age. - Yeah, I agree. - It's like, we're friends now. So surely we're friends then. - Yeah. - But it is like, I wish I could just see a snapshot. I wish you guys had some videos. - I know. - We do have videos. - Oh, that's a video. - No, videos, I mean, I feel like we have videos of obviously our family growing up, but not video of you and dad. And like, you're dating and when you were younger. And you and dad had us later too. - Right. - So I feel like you had so many lives before you had kids. - We did. - My dad was 40 when you had me. - He was 40 when you had me. - 'Cause he had 45, he was 45. - Oh yeah. - He had Sophie. - Almost 45. - Yeah. - And so I feel like that's just a whole life. - Right. - Right. - Right. - Right. - Like in your 30s. - I was 28, 29 when we got married. And he was 34. - Mm-hmm. - So, yes. - But we did have. - Yeah. - We were cool back then. - I know you were. - We were. - You were. - And I just wish I had one. - Yeah. - But we did have fun. It was fun. - Yes. - But we would have been friends. - We would have been friends. - Well, we had kids right away when we got married. But we wanted kids right away. So, I mean, it only gets harder if you can't compromise on stuff. So as long as you're talking through issues and talking about stuff and you compromise and then you're on the way. right page for everything. I never thought it was harder. It was just different than not having kids and being single. But I think it also, when you're young parents or just parents of young kids and stuff, you learn to communicate with each other. So pregnancy and postpartum are some of the most nutritionally demanding times in a woman's life. And there are so many options for supplements. That's why we wanted to thank needed for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Neated offers products that are formulated by experts in women's health and recommended by over 6,000 practitioners. 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Yeah, you got nothing to combine your life. Yeah, let's do it together. Yeah, so that's how we've always done it ever since we were married. And I think actually before we were married, we went to like a financial counselor and they said, that's what you should do. So we just did it. Do you like check? Yeah. We did it. And so we didn't have our own money, kind of like a bunch of money saved up before you're married. Then you know, have to change our ways and how we did it. We just always had it combined. Yeah, yeah. I agree. I don't think there's anything. I think unless you're married into somebody with some generational wealth, it gets a little spicy there. I think as women shop differently than men do, and most of the time, mothers are the ones who shop for the needs of our kids. And so if the father is in charge of all the finances, and he can't figure out why every time you go to Target or Walmart or something, he's a junior box. Yes. And you get tired of explaining that I think it's okay for the mom to have some little fun money that she can go out and do. You know, if she wants to get her nails done or it's just her money that no one can ask her about what did she do with that money? Yeah. That's because in our marriage, sometimes that became conversations. They weren't disagreements. They weren't fights. They were just like, oh my gosh. You went to Target for the five times this week, and you know, how much toilet paper did you buy? You know, just that kind of stuff. So it's like, well, no, I didn't really go to Target, but I went and got my nails done. But if he wanted to think I went to Target, okay, he doesn't know, you know, just something is just, yeah, make it life a little easier all around. Well, you're going to combine. That's what we do. We just combine finances, but we each get a budgeted fun month. Yeah. Monthly allowance each of us. And we get to not ask. Yeah, I still have my fun money, baby. The next one is, it's okay to keep small secrets from your spouse. Do you agree or disagree? Well, you just said you have small secrets. The Target versus the nail. Well, I thought that's not really a secret because he knows about it, but it depends, I guess what the secret is. Small secrets like what's a small secret like anything that you're intentionally, like it's like, if it didn't come up, that doesn't count. Like anything you're like, I'm not going to, I'm going to intentionally avoid bringing this thing up. Okay. I'm going to go with agree if that's the definition. If it's going to eliminate a problem by not bringing it up, sure. Especially if it has to do with the kids. If your kids say, don't tell dad, you know, I think I just always assumed he did tell dad. Well, you know, I mean, my whole thing was I don't keep secrets from dad, but if it's something he doesn't really need to know, then of course, I don't have to tell dad. But yeah, you don't need to tell about my periods and stuff like that. No, but I did. Oh, well. You didn't. I think I went out my first bra. You embarrassed me. So what were you walking on and you're crabby and, oh, I'm in pain and I heard, I mean, I now want to go to school the next day and dad's like, what is she saying? No, it's, you know, ant flows visiting, you know, that thing, so, yeah, you did not keep any secrets for. I don't know. I don't know. I think you'd have secrets from dad. I didn't. No, it's not worth it. You're getting a big fight with me. I think like, I don't think you do. I don't do it. But it's okay. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You guys don't have to appease the people. They look at you. They look at you all the way together. Like, I don't know what you could do in secret from dad. And he's working from home. That's kind of. They're always together. Oh, that's how he would die or do. Well, not right now. You're like, yeah, not right now. No. Dad would not survive if you'd gone a month. He wouldn't. He wouldn't eat. I don't know. I would have to go over and do something. This isn't about us. Oh, this one's about, okay. We're taking it about us. Okay. Be honest. You think, did we get married too young? Agreed. We're disagree. We got married too. Agreed. Agreed. Agreed. This is no big secret. We thought that. We thought that. I know so. We thought that. You thought that. When you think that. Yeah. Well, that's a hard question. Wait. Was the question, do we still think that? Oh. You can take it however you will. Okay. Well, it's okay if you stand there. At the beginning. Yes, I thought that. Now, clearly you've made it through. So. Seven-year-itch. Okay. You guys showed us. Take that lady. Take that. Yes. Both of our moms were not. They weren't on board. Not on board. Which is good. It's good to be the voice. Oh, good to have a voice of reason. Totally. Totally. Especially when you were a young. I mean, I was 23. You were 19. Right. That was 20. 20. Oh, you were 19. That's like way different than 20. But you were still in college. That's a huge thing. Yes. That's a huge thing. Yes. 19 feels illegal. I'm sorry. I do want to say this. This is what Matt did on her, you know, I'm super emotional because it was in high school. It was on her last dance recital, which if you're a mom of a girl who's gone all the way through, that's an emotional night. Yeah. And also her high school graduation. And we, I took him to go get flowers because he wanted to go get flowers. And he was like, hey, Lori, I didn't know what you would think if I was going to, if Abby and I would get married young and I propose soon. I was like, this is the absolute worst timing of all timing to say something to me about it. I'm like, I'm already like on the verge of tears. And this is what you say to me now. I wasn't permitted that information at the time. Yeah. Yes, I get that. I thought about, I can remember exactly where we were going to flowers. And I brought this up to him before. That was horrible time. She's crying out many times. And we had our older daughter, Olivia, who was engaged and was, you know, we were planning her wedding. And Caleb said something to us about, you know, if, if, well, I think he wanted to need us for lunch and we're like, no, no. We know what he wants. No. And I think at one point. I'm busy at that time. I'm sorry. I'm busy every day. My husband said, don't ask us to after Olivia's wedding. And the day after Olivia's wedding, he text us, hey, you guys free Monday for lunch. We just had a wedding. Can you wait till next Monday? Listen. And we said it. We was doing. They loved it, ladies. That's it. We've been married seven years now. And you guys are married 32. You guys are 36. Is there anything that you guys feel like, what's the biggest lesson you've learned after being married this long? That you can impart to us. Because we're still growing up. The biggest lesson I've learned. I mean, I just think always talk and communicate, compromise on stuff. And even though you know you're always right, just let them think they're right sometimes. That's a big part. Yeah. I don't know why. I also want to clear the air. You got married super young too, mom. 23, right? Is that how well I would have been known? 22 or 23. No, that was old for back then when we were young. I mean, I graduated college. I wanted you to graduate college first. That was your thing. It wasn't necessarily the age. She wanted me to graduate college first. Did you think I wasn't going to finish? Well, there was a very distinct possibility. I felt like that was important. I graduated. She did. But it's good for you. No, I don't always. She did with grades. No, I just, because I felt like you're just going to bail. But you did get you to grade so. Yeah, I thought I was going to bail too. Yeah. I was losing interest quick. Yeah, can I also just say this we needed air this out Blake got married before he graduated to and I don't think He heard two words about it. Well at that point I'd given up so What did you like atty better than mad is that what it was? No, she tried to set me up with Matt like oh, then she that is true She did that is just okay from a very young age and yeah, cuz in a tree He's a weird she's a mad mom and I were friends and we met really early on when she was at the meeting Matt was at the meeting and I loved Teresa and I loved Matt and any other boy that would be around to be like But he's not mad outward. Yeah, she's like we don't like she's like. I don't know Matt You know we're not even in the same town and somehow that Worked out before you four years later. Yeah, yeah, and I'm like wow. I didn't ask for this soon though So funny, but that's cute. I didn't know that. I asked earlier before you film this what advice you would give or what you've learned in 30 years of marriage You got to just kind of keep your mouth closed sometimes of things that like you'd like it to be a certain way and you'd maybe like Things to be done a certain way, but you like in the grand scheme of things is not that big of a deal Let's just go with it. It is really funny to see how you and dad It wasn't until I got married myself like some of the flows that you guys had fallen into I was like That was really unique to them that this that this was how they did it Like how because you just learn to just adapt to each other and I was like that's just how their marriage works Yeah, and it's not necessarily because I always want something that's that sort of way. It's just like Whatever we'll just go with it. Yeah, yeah, but she'll make every single phone call because my dad cannot make a phone call She's like that's on me Everybody has their strengths, right? Yeah, so yeah, I mean for years for years Because my husband's occupation If he could he was a complainer. He didn't want any controversy. So if there was something That was slightly controversial. I took care of it So like what what do you mean? Just a nice way of saying that I had to be the mean person sometimes. Yeah, so he's like public face. Yeah, yeah Yes, insane. So um, you know, I had to handle that stuff too You know, yeah, I love the admin stuff. Yeah, get on people. Yes That's good. That's good advice if like both of you guys are like compromise and pick your battles. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I think those are good That's great advice. Yeah The next one is do you agree or disagree that date nights are essential not optional? Uh, I'm gonna say agree But it's also hard to do it some I'm sure it's some stages. I mean, you know if you are a parent living In a city where you have nobody to watch your kids And it's expensive probably to hire babysitters plus you gotta be careful with who you hire, you know You got to know their trust really and I can see where a lot of people would be are uncomfortable with that But so then I guess like I think you've done this too like date nights at home and stuff like I have to put the kids to bed like You know, you don't have to go out somewhere and maybe you don't you know, not everybody wants to spend the money on it or Like I said, has a child care, but I think it's important to do things without the kids because At some point your kids aren't gonna be there anymore than you're right. Well now what do we do or what do we talk about? And so you have to have something all along that you're still just like The two of you can connect on. Yeah, I totally agree with everything you just said growing up mom and dad went on dates Every Friday night and we stayed at Grimm and Grimm and sometimes maybe they weren't fun We just would go home and fall asleep because that's what yeah But we stayed at our Grimm parents house Friday night Saturday morning and That we just knew that that was mama dads. Well, I mean we did actually go to dinner with us usually and then you just would spend the night there. Yeah That was nice. Yeah, cuz you girls would go over and spend the night at grandma's too. Yeah, you know, I'm not consistently But I'm not consistently but yes, it's so good that we did that though too because I was a separation excited And if I had it like I don't know if I would have ever been able to do a sleep over at a friend's house if I hadn't been staying regularly overnight with my grandparents Or even got a college I'm having a hobby. I have a college. I was literally just like you're just gonna make me No, look at like watching them drive away like I was too outside the dorm holding a toothpaste and toothbrush. I was like We were in the car stop being the guest. Yeah, I band-in meant thought about that Years before it happened just making myself miserable The whole weekend of setting out the dorms has just ill. I was like they're gonna leave Give me out of here. I know if I would have said the word I think it was like the most awkward goodbye because I was like Well, I hated all that You know, I could have been a better parent and been so looking forward to all the college of his and stuff But I dreaded it cuz and then you were looking at colleges that were far away Yeah, that's a whole other episode Shopping for colleges and I want to get a California in Hawaii. You're like you'll never see me. You're not I'm a considering it My biggest day in Missouri No, she didn't go once semester to Indiana, but thank you mom. No, my whole big thing with that was that Um, I'm not paying for another state state school So if you're looking at a state school, you're not getting a scholarship. You're going to our state school I think that's a good rule. Yeah, but if you look at a private school and you get scholarships Let's let's go look at them and that's what our oldest daughter did she went to TCU and that was great and it was fine Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you had a scholarship at you abindy. Yeah, you could kind of call it that it wasn't much She was so Should we do the rest of these marriage ones rapid fire? Yeah, do it. Okay So and you should always consult your spouse before making big decisions Agreed disagree in your marriages. Do who do you think wears the pants you or your husband? Well I'm gonna say that I'm gonna say me. I'm gonna say mom for sure. Where's the pants? I think we equally wear the pants and our family I think when he thinks he's wearing the pants I put those pants on him So you're like I agree. She's an ogre straighter. I've got handed the pants to mom. I mean He's like please take care of this Okay, so back to that one you should always consult your spouse before making big decisions. Yeah, I agree or just great rapid fires are you agree? Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree. Okay, going through your partner's phone is okay. Oh, I agree. I agree too I've never honestly thought about it. Yeah, um, I've never done it. I've never done it. Why would it not be okay? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I agree. Is it a bridge of privacy when you're married for 36 years or is no privacy? That's what people's are. He wouldn't care. He wouldn't care. I don't care. Yeah, my husband wouldn't care. Mm-hmm It's healthy to spend time apart regularly. Agreed. I know she was gonna have a fast agreement about it My mother's her whole condition her algorithm speeding her people solo living. Yeah, they're nighttime routine. I just like this is great. I'm like wow She just comes home to her clean apartment every night She hits on the jammies. She's like that by herself. She's like her house is perfectly clean Just how she likes it and she makes it she will serving dessert This girl has a lot of people bonner because everybody wants that. I'm thinking Dinner's with no protein Yeah, I'm definitely That's so great. I know you agree. You've been here a month without that. I know Social media has a negative impact on marriages I agree you disagree agree a lot of time you think that all the time, but I think social media would Not be good in a lot of instances Uh, not just with marriage. I don't know what to say about that Maybe because social media is new to my generation You're a little bit younger if you let social media mess up your marriage. That's dumb. I don't know Okay, what are your thoughts on Abby and I sharing our lives online? I don't have a problem with it I like it. I Have mixed feelings There's some things that are good and some things that are and again Yeah, we didn't grow up with social media. Let's just say everyone my family's very private Maybe a little bit more introverted as well and then there's me. I mean, what are you gonna do about it? But I think nobody talks about how hard it is like you have little kids and you know everybody thinks it's hardest But I think it's the hardest win you kind of have lost that control kind of and what they're doing and and then they become And adult and all of a sudden like you don't have that you can't say well now we're going to dance or now I'm gonna do this and it's like they're doing their own thing and it's hard to switch over that control of knowing what they're doing all the time and Directing all that and then saying this is their life and this is what they want to do and it may not be my favorite thing always but It's not my place to say it. Yeah, thank you. proud of you girls. And I think what you guys do, I think the way that you handle the what you're doing is very classy. You're always very kind. You're not controversial in stuff. And I think that's good. Well, and they're also the exact same way online that they are in real life. Like there's no different. Exactly. There's no like this is fake and this is real. And this is I mean so often like I've heard like online like either you guys are talking in the podcast or you're filming something and I'm oftentimes you've been feeling something I'm like thinking she's talking to me because that is exactly how she is all the time. And it's not like a put-on. It's not a show. It's just filming how she normally would be or you too. So this is a big reason why I don't even share my kids on social media. But I imagine being in your position, seeing your child be subject to scrutiny, like things like that. That would make any mom uncomfortable. And so I do it's worse for you than it is for me. Nobody wants to see or hear anything negative about your child. And then right, right. Yeah, if you put yourself out there, no matter who you are, people are going to do that sometimes. And that is hard as a mother to see that. That would. Yes. So these people out here we don't see they should stop. They should just be kind to you guys in our comments. I feel like you were desensitized to a lot of it just because of dad's job. Yes. That's my true. Yeah. My dad was on radio for 50 years, 50 years, 50 years. And so he's always just been. I feel like you're just kind of desensitized to some of that. Some of it. Yes. Like the public faces. Yes. Yes. Okay. The next one is you should protect your marriage from outside opinions, even family. Agree or disagree from like your own kids not liking your marriage. I agree. I don't know exactly what. Well, I think if you have a good marriage, there's nobody is pointing fingers either way. I think if you have a bad marriage and people, you should listen to them. If you have a bad marriage and people are talking to you about it. Yeah. Yeah. So true. Yeah. Last one for marriage, PDA is fine, especially in front of family. This is a wide range of PDA. Yes. We're so mixed on this. We're so funny. We probably land non PDA. You guys land more PDA. Yeah. Am I included in the day? You are. I think you're PDA. I see dad's macro butt a lot. You sit on dad's lap. Yes. Yes. I see dad's hugging his and you guys had a love corner in our kitchen. Oh, that's kind of just a joke. I see what was happening behind the bridge. I just. Oh, my God. Funny. That's weird. That's weird because I would not have considered myself a PDA. I don't think you consider yourself a PDA but when it comes to you guys are waiting. Is that bad? No. She's like, please stop. You used to it. You have one kid that's PDA and one that's not at all. Yes. Look at Addy or not Addy or not in the game or two PDA, clearly. You did live in my house. How you got this? Happy medium. I think you guys are a happy medium. Thank you. I've seen you kiss and say sweet stuff. Just once. No, it's okay. I think we're like mildly PDA. I'm not as embarrassed about it as I used to be. I used to be really nervous about it. You were? Yeah. I was like, don't even hug me in front of my parents. They're right there. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I was just hung around. He was like, you're like a little girl. I'm sorry but my parents are here. Yeah, but now it sounds weird. Well now I feel weird. Moving on to bear. Thank you so much to Quinn's for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Lately, I've been more intentional about what I wear day-to-day, especially in this postpartum season. I'm like, I want to feel good about what I'm wearing. So I've been leaning into pieces that feel effortless, comfortable, but still put together. Quinn's has been my go-to. Their fabrics feel really elevated. The fits are very flattering and everything just works without overthinking it. I love my cashmere dress that I have from them. It fits the bump and I know it's also going to suit me after the baby comes too. 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Go to q-u-i-n-c-e.com/abbie for free shipping and 365 day returns. Pints.com/abbie. Pregnancy is more mentally difficult than physically difficult. Agree. Disagree. You think pregnancy is more physically difficult than mentally? Yes, I do. Yes. Especially after your first. Let's just solve physical. You already know what's happening. For me, because of previous situations, it is the most mentally difficult thing you've ever done of anything in it. So way more than physical, yes. Okay. Pregnancy brain is a myth. Disagree. Disagree, yes. We also, you are working full time. You're pregnant? I can't. I can't imagine working in all that school. Yeah. Well, and you taught school so you had your home kids and your school kids. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Having kids made me lose a part of myself. Agree or disagree? Disagree. Disagree. Disagree. It's a good sweetie thing. Disagree, I love seeing my body made that look like me. Even though you look nothing like me. Yeah, that's really true. But you were in here. Yeah. I sometimes have been asked if I have different parents. You have the same smile. You think so? Yeah. I can see it. I can see it. No, I feel like you did, you did like, what's the word? You prepared me well though for like that brief postpartum period, like right after you have the baby where I was like, I'm having an identity crisis. Like, I don't. Nothing I used to think sounded fun. It was fun. You like kind of prepared me. You're like, it gets weird at the beginning. Well, postpartum is a real thing. And if anybody thinks it's not, they're they're wrong. You can't help it. You really can't help it. But you get over that quickly, and yeah, you tell me you're like, it'll feel way different soon. And it did. Yeah, it was good advice. Breastfeeding is better than formula. Agree or disagree? Disagree. No, I don't know. I don't know. I just some saying that because I didn't, you know. That's why we put those questions in here. You didn't notice it. I did not. I tried in a dip mark. Say, yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of benefits to breastfeeding. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And I don't think you should, I think what's worse is stress yourself out about it, stress your body out about it and think. And I also don't think you should think that you've done something wrong or, you know, less of yourself as a mom if you don't. So is it, you know, medically better? I don't know. But it doesn't hurt your child at all if you don't. Right. I think they've come so far with formula. Yeah. That it's probably just to equal. And I think that I don't think it's equal to be just like science. Well, I think it's equal. I think the benefits. Okay, we're, that we won't get into those hot tanks. But I think there's more that there's more than one way that is the right way. Sure. And you just want a healthy, happy child. Yeah. And you have to do it works for you. Yeah. Also, mom, you went back, you had to go back to work like six weeks later. Well, yeah, that would have been, I mean, that was part of the problem. Part of it. How would that even work? It was kind of it. Your birth was a little traumatic. We pumped quickly. We had metal pumps. You guys have these fun little plastically plastic metal pumps. We had metal pumps. That feels like a cowhouse. Yeah, it was. And it hurt. Yeah. But women did it. Oh my gosh. Mom will do anything, man. If men had to give birth, humanity would end. Yes. You got to hold your sign up. Oh my goodness. I say there'd be a few, there'd be a few men that would keep a few kids coming. But that's what I said now. That's what I said. And Abby said disagree on that question. I was like, there would be a few guys that would come through. But yeah. And I said if they do, they would have one. That's what I said. There's no one that would have mold to pull. No, man. That would have no. I said it would it end? No. I think men would have one and then never do it again. But then you pointed out the fact that that wouldn't end. That wouldn't eventually. Yeah. Two people only making one. Right. Doesn't add up to three. So. Doesn't add up to even to human to stabilizing the population. Exactly. So I get I get it. I change my answer on that one. Okay. Thank you. I stand by that. I'm doubling down. Gender reveals should be canceled. Late on us. It's fine. I don't disagree. I don't disagree. I don't I think you're just celebrating you're just happy. and you know don't care what you're having generally but it's just kind of a fun celebration thing and get together with your friends and you're happy either way so why not celebrate with people right yeah right you both love a good party you do and you guys are both good party throwers that's so true yeah okay I don't even know if you know what this is but gentle parenting is the best approach do you know what that is well I think I'm kind of learning through something do you do gentle no I don't think so I disagree what was the question gentle parenting the best approach I don't even know what the method is I would need more of a definition of well I think that your parenting was gentle so okay you didn't really have say yes any search rules for me then I don't actually really think I had any consequences there weren't there were it was pretty smooth sailing no we didn't have a good kid I mean yeah yeah we had consequences I had a lot of time on I remember all my knees they're not all oh yeah and don't touch it don't touch the wall and don't look at the TV I'm actually proud to say I bought CJ his timeout chair so yeah we don't like I'm nearly just it's like a little sick these kids I was so easy these days okay gentle parenting is way easier today than it was up back in the day I agree or disagree I'm gonna say disagree I'm in a disagree really yeah I think it's harder now I do think because of social media and because of so many things that are easily accessible to kids that you didn't yes you didn't they didn't have yes yes too yeah at one time you know and so there's more things to have to figure out than just your friends that you go to school with it's people online and how to stay safe and what's appropriate not appropriate on that kind of stuff and so that was not even a thing right right you know how many years ago right and you knew your communities better you when you lived in a neighborhood you knew every neighbor everything about most of neighbors and the kids I don't feel that that's the way it is nowadays you know in certain in your neighborhoods and it doesn't matter what social economic figure and I just think that you just don't know that no I think that's like a fact that's that's a fact for people are becoming right to be sure for sure like we don't now we have uber so you don't have to call your friend to take you to the airport right we have door to ash so if you need a cup of sugar you don't go to your neighbor's house for a cup of sugar but we just keep trending that way we often feel like we're inconveniencing those around us whereas like it used to be more like yeah like carpool you really relied on each other right those are really good examples but just there's so much access to things that are unsafe too now that there was never right there was a telephone you know at one point and that's it that's sure right okay you guys brought up good points yeah this is really good it's good for kids to be bored agree or disagree I agree I agree oh come on mom I feel like all over law we'd be like mom or more like go find something to do I mean I don't think kids should be catered to and like you should be supplying something for them to do all the time so if that's what you mean yeah that's kind of what that means yeah no I don't think that as a parent you should be constantly giving them something to because you know you lose your imagination you lose right play all that kind of stuff but do I like it if you're bored no I would probably say yeah go find something to do right yeah that's a good one screen time is more harmful than helpful I agree and I disagree same my kids had screen time but they did not have their own TVs but we didn't also have our own computers or own iPads I think but what we watch was like Sesame Street or Barney or which was helpful in learning I thought that was very helpful in learning but screen time playing video games and I don't like that you know yeah I think you know everything in moderation and if you are choosing the right programs with the right amount of time then that's good Griffin's been loving Zabuma for recently and it's very educational he knows more about certain animals yes I do it's a 90's show it's like this lemur and these two brothers it's like real people and real animals and I watch this it's a 90's show I had never heard of it I don't I've never heard of it but the other day he's like honey did you know Jaguar is a number on predators in the whole United States and I'm like what no I actually don't know the states said the world that's this information world he said the world Griffin's population but he knows yeah he's watch out I feel like I did watch this but also probably not 99 that she doesn't want I never heard of it before and I had of had it multiple times he loves it and I'm like this is something that feels good for him to watch he's like so obsessed with it but I agree like I feel like here's my thing as a modern day no one asked my opinion give it as a modern day parent I feel like it is more I feel more of a like a responsibility to limit it because of the access that you guys were talking about and also because of the fact that like it's completely whatever like everything is out there when whereas like when we were watching TV we had to have it like I knew the channels I was allowed to watch and not allowed to watch I had to wait through the the commercials I didn't get to choose exactly what I wanted every single time and so there's something in your brain where it's like a slower pace like I had to sit down I've seen this episode of Hannah Montana five times but yeah sit and watch and it's not like the the short form content or like all these you know everything's at your fingertips and you can kids know how to operate these things they're just born with it right so I feel like that's where we have to like be aggressive with it and monitor it and monitor it like crazy yeah that's really good oh you should limit how much you share about your kids online agree or disagree I great I totally agree well not I mean for their safety for and plus at some point they might say why did you ever say that about me you know I don't want that shared about my life that's not their choice so thank you to Honey Love for sponsoring this portion of today's episode why is it so hard to find comfortable bras and shapewear I don't know I've never actually been successful till now I'm really genuinely excited about honey loves products honey love is an independent female founded brand all honey love products are intelligently designed by women who actually wear them including founder Betsy who is highly involved in the development of each product the founder you know is wearing loves the products you know they're good their bras are supportive and wire free thanks to bondy technology that lifts without underwire you deserve a bra that's 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check out they'll ask where you heard about them and please support our show and tell them we sent you experience the new standard and comfort and support with honey love mom guilt never really goes away agree or disagree I agree I agree well first of all you kids never let us it go away well remember when mom said that or mom did that or something if you crime or often will lay off okay I don't think I don't nothing comes to mind we all have things we think we could have done better which at the time was just perfectly fine for you guys being you know when we were raising you but in our minds we think we could have done stuff better I think that's healthy yeah totally yeah doesn't make it easier to live with but right this one says you should trust your parenting instincts over advice from other people yes I agree you I think you I mean I think there's nothing wrong with if you have some good people that you know give you advice that you need to take it under consideration I guess but no matter what the you're you would know better than anybody else okay we're moving on to a short working mom section like oh this one is actually this one I'm really interested like on what your take is on it yeah because I think it's conversation that is hot nowadays not like controversial but like there's just I mean controversial this is that people think differently about it but there's there's this narrative that like you can have it all like you can be an excellent like boss mom or boss like woman I don't explain this well yeah you can be an awesome like girl boss and also like a hundred percent awesome mom like the best mom possible so you can have it all as a working mom agree or disagree I agree I'm going to say I disagree as I was a working mom I mean, I think I did my best with both of them, but I did feel I was torn always. Like if I was only at home, I could have been a better job with some things at home. And if I didn't have kids to come home to, I could have spent longer at school and done more things there. And I mean, I did feel torn a lot of times. And probably that's where my mom would come in. But as I'm sure most of the moms at work, it has something to do with that, you know, so. - Well, and I agree because I think you can do both and have it all. I think it just is a little harder. I worked with our oldest Olivia and quit when she was about two or three. And then I was to stay home on. I thought it was pretty hard being home all the time. There's a lot of expectations on you and people think you can do everything. And, you know, you end up doing a lot of stuff that you just don't get paid for because you're staying home out. - Right. - I wouldn't have changed anything. It was just the way it worked in our dynamic. But I think you can have a career and you can be a good mother. - Oh, I 100% do think that too. - I just felt torn like. - But I think there is guilt. You will always have guilt. No matter what, you will have guilt. - Yes. - I feel like I'm starting to lean on it. It's like you can have it all, but maybe just not always all at once. And I think that's okay too, you know? Like there are seasons for everything. - Well, I think you just have to realize that if you do work outside the home, even if you work in the home and you also have a family that you better have a good support system with your spouse that you're pretty equal when it comes to the household stuff. It shouldn't be, oh, I gotta do all the laundry. I do all the cleaning. You should just, you should both do it. Or you should make enough money. You just pace now, you do it all. And then it's a problem. Yeah, the drink, yes. - I think that's a good point though, but to mom, I think there's certain benefits too. To like, it's not always like, okay, you're working mom and the kids suffer or you stay home with the kids and the kids thrive. Like there's certain benefits are unique to working moms. Like I grew up watching you like have this insane capacity to like be on all day for your entire classroom and then come home and be on for us. Like give us your all and then prepare once we went to bed, for the next day at school and do it again and again and again. And I think that also just like empowered me too would be like, okay, I can say yes to things. I have a big capacity and like I can work hard. That's a unique way to view your mom specifically when they're working mom too. So the answer is probably based on some of the mom guilt. So, but I mean, no matter what, whether you're home or whether you go to a job, it's just, it's just a lot for a mom to do. You know, it's just to tackle all that totally. - I think the narrative is more so like, you can have it all and it's easy and you'll be happy. - The easy part is what's right. - And it's like the dream and it's like, well actually this is just like a lot. It's a lot and I think the guilt is true. And there's a little people don't talk about that. - At a little overwhelming, you know, that like gosh, am I ever gonna get my head above water and get this teen care over that teen care of and right. It's hard, you know, either way. - You know, when you think about children or only babies for two or three years and they're toddlers. Then they're in school, you know, then they're in school for 12 years. Then they go away to college. So it's just, when you think of like that, it may be top the first five years, you know, just or, you know, like right now, you know, okay, they're gonna be potty trades. Then they're gonna buckle their own car seats. Then they're gonna open the car door by themselves. You know, then they're gonna be able to make their own lunches. It just, so everything goes in cycles. And you just have to find your way through that cycle. And then you're okay, you know, and then your 50 years old and your wish you were doing that all again. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. - Yeah, those are great, good thoughts. - Yeah, there's no new problems out there. It seems like. - No, I'm not. - It says being a working mom is harder than being a stay at home mom. That one's really, that's kind of a spice to one. And then you take it out, because I was worried. - The only thing is, I mean, I'm gonna have to say, you wouldn't know, I mean, unless you've done both, and for your own life how that works, you know, which one was harder, you don't know the other way. So I would not judge that and say once, harder than the other now. - No, I wouldn't either, not at all. And I think both sides probably have their own arguments, but you're right, unless you've done both. And I have found that when I quit my more younger, and I have found that women who quit when their children were maybe like in seventh grade or eighth grade have said, oh my god, how'd you stay home like this? What'd you do all day? Like, 'cause they're used to be on a different pace. So I think, I agree. - As like people that kind of split that time. Obviously, I am hesitant to put myself in the working mom category sometimes, because I have such an untraditional job. But I do think there's a lot more untraditional jobs out there now. - I agree. - So maybe I can insert myself in this category. It kind of depends on your personality type. Like, for me, my easier part of my day is with my kids because it fills me up so much that I'm like, it just doesn't feel taxing in the way that something that doesn't necessarily fill me up as much. Maybe that's so bad to say, I was like, oh, on your job. (laughing) - No, I'm so grateful for what I do, but maybe if it's someone's like, I feel so much purpose in my workplace. That it doesn't mean that they don't feel purpose. This doesn't mean that I don't feel purpose in my workplace, but wherever you feel the most filled up, you're not gonna be as drained by, right? - Right, that's right. - Well, in the workplace has come a long way, right? I mean, I was back in the '80s and the early '90s, and I had a sales job. And when I had our first daughter, Olivia, my first baby, I approached about job sharing. And I had another lady in the office who wanted to do it too. So we would work, she'd work three days a week, I'd work too, and then we switched next, and we shared the same clients, late in like that. They didn't want that. So both of us had to stay on full time. You know, I think they make more accommodations for my baby moms now. - I was just talking to a mom yesterday, and her husband got the same paternity leave as her maternity leave. They both got 24 weeks. - Which is great, that's amazing. - Wow. - They worked at a university, so I do think that they're more progressive in that way, but I'm like, that's just so different from even what my friends currently that our teachers get. It's the same as what my mom had, which I'm like, where's the progress for teachers? - I have to say shout out to teachers though, because they are, you know, at school, I mean, they're doing some of the same kind of things at home and at school. It's just a lot of a school with a lot of kids that aren't really theirs, but yet, and there's so many of them there, and there's so much neediness there with the kids, and so much caregiving throughout the day, and you're doing the caregiving all during the day with your job, and then there's more of that at home with your own. And so, teachers do a lot. - Teachers and nurses, my friend, that was a labor and delivery nurse. She got a six week, six weeks maternity leave, and her husband worked for a bank and got 16. - Oh gosh. - Like, quit! - No, you know teachers. - It's because if they're in such high demand, nurses and teachers are in such high demand, they can get in the interim. - But you know, you have to use your sick leave as a teacher. There is no built-in sick leave. You have to use your sick leave. - And then if you need to take more, they get docked. - They get docked. - I got docked. - And that was, and I, I got, I can remember one time, I had four weeks. - It's your six days. - You got docked pay, like they took pay for your paycheck. - And that was only after four weeks, 'cause like, - And you're using your sick days for all that. - Your sick days that you've accumulated throughout the years, you use that for maternity, and then if you don't have enough to like physically heal, you know, your six weeks or whatever, you get docked. - Wow. - Do you think it's still that way? - Yeah, sure it is. - Or you think it is by school districts? - Maybe some private schools have different policies, but I think across the board, this is what I hear from my friends at Teach in Public Schools. - So that's why everyone, that's a teacher tries to have summer babies. - Yeah. - Or like Christmas break babies. - Yeah. - I actually had a principal once that said, when I was pregnant with Abby, they, oh, you should have gotten pregnant had her in the summer. And I'm like, well, listen. Well, it doesn't always work out. - You can't always plan that way. - Right. - I remember that. - Oh, I'd have a hard time holding my tongue. - Yeah, be a hard one to move back. I'm like, okay. - Financial independence is essential for women. Agree or disagree? - Oh. - Financial independence is essential. - What do you mean by financial independence? - Yeah, I don't, that's a good question. - Yeah, that's, that's-- - Having your own income? - No, I don't think you need that, but I don't know if that's what you meant by the question. - I think being financially savvy about your household income, whether you're single or married, you should always be on top of. - I would agree. And you taught us that our whole lives, you're like, like, 'cause you and dad had combined and you always said, yeah, but I know everything that goes on. - Right. - And you're like, just because I'm not like, doing paid day-to-day billing, doesn't mean I don't know, not know, it's going on. - Right. - And you have to, you have to, right. - And I think that's great advice. - Yeah. - Especially as like a state home mom, you're like, I'm not like earning an income, but my income, I do make an income from like, you know, it's shared. And so, it's important to stay on top of it. - I think that's good. I would think you would agree with that. - This will be our last one, and then we have a few more that we're going to do over on our Patreon for our Patreon fam. - Okay. - Always home girls. - Okay. - I like it when I like home girls. - Is this a soft launch of always home girls? - No, we're just workshopping it, we're shopping it. (laughing) I'm just going to keep testing. the different options each episode yeah you're cooler than me so you get to decide I'm handing that crown over to you okay um this is the last one that we'll get a patreon hustle culture is toxic agree or disagree hustle I don't know what you're talking about what is that we're ending on something that neither of us know what you're talking about right I explain it to I don't know what it is hustle culture is like I'm gonna wake up at 4 a.m. and grand my day away and grand grand grand be successful successful all in nothing grand grand hustle it doesn't sound great the way you're describing it yeah no no it's us then that's not tempting you don't want to grind and hustle maybe like for a 21-year-old or for you know it does feel a way more for like young adults isn't it yeah my mom like I feel like there's also this opposite side of the internet that talks about soft life really you know soft life is like low stakes low risk everything safe and comfortable that's why I'm getting fed and I think that's good to me my mom is just like soft and different the lady that I like that just is something like that the things I'm seeing are like people opening their kitchen windows they're cooking to jazz music it's like they're staying home okay they don't okay it's beautiful yeah who's gorgeous yeah we're the soft livers okay so there's soft livers but every night of the week you're wet back to see if my mom is doing great to have part of every day the way yeah yeah I think these people I'm a hustle my mom is a hustle culture really anyway she has a hard culture till about four o'clock no you hustle yeah you always you're moving you work hard but you are like so maybe I value that you vow but yeah but you're definitely like what's the purpose of that like let's just take it easy let's just have a cup of coffee and relax yeah like you like you you like comfortable I do like comfortable here her favorite word is cozy like yeah yeah she likes that so yeah I don't think you're you don't remind me of hustle culture when for taking the name I like so would you confuse hustle with being maybe just a little competitive no I I think I do think hustle culture is like a I'm gonna wake up at 4 am get six hours of sleep because I'll sleep what I'm dead I'm gonna work work work work I feel like you and dad were like make what you have to make and then just enjoy your life like it wasn't like we don't need to we don't need to climb a corporate ladder we don't need to be our own bosses we don't need to like it was like let's just work our jobs so we can get home to our families and like that's not I'd say that's true I feel like you're personality type you're like a little energizer bunny like you're like go go go and even with being a stay at home mom I feel like you were like my job is to clean it could take care of my house and my family and like you were very involved in things like I felt like you were more go go go yeah not in a bad way in like a good way so people would say I was bossy I think you had to be in charge yeah but I mean it's just your personality type I mean sort of things I did yeah yeah yeah good at it you owned it so I think if you were in today's culture and I would say you probably were hustle culture girl not the toxic hustle culture no not the toxic yeah yeah I don't know what the toxic I don't either I don't know I don't think we're talking about and we really honestly don't I'm not on that side okay the patreon questions should be really fun I know we cute yeah if you care to join our patreon hop over there and we have some extended material over there some more hard-hitting questions for the moms but now we're gonna switch over thank you to flamingo for sponsoring this portion of today's episode I never turned down a good bath you love a good bath I love a steaming hot shower that just sinches my skin but nothing is better than getting out of the bath or shower and having a fresh smooth shave you just feel better and less you have a crappy razor so many women's razors are just flimsy they cut you out for some reason those shaving cuts never stop bleeding seriously my towel looks like a crime scene like what's happening but not I was flamingo you guys the women who helped build harries found themselves rolling their eyes when other companies were just shrinking men's razors and making them pink so they decided to shake things up a little bit flamingo has no pink tax pricing no flimsy design and no irritation flamingo is born to give women shaving solutions made with their bodies in mind their starter set has everything that you could need whether it's time for an everything shower or even if you just need to shape up your brow line I actually love their derma plant face razor it's really sharp but I haven't gotten cut and it just gets all the hair and dry skin off my face around my eyebrows for a limited time our listeners can get the flamingo starter set for only seven dollars at shopflamingo.com/abbey this set includes the flamingo original razor one five blade cartridge a one ounce flaming shave gel and a shower holder just head to shopflamingo.com slash abbey to clean this offer and after you purchase the ask where you heard about them please support our show and tell them always hear sent you ask ask ask abbey okay we are back we just hopped over to patreon I added my I freestyle the random spicy and my I kind of regret it but it's okay it's it's on there so for those of you that are on our patreon you'll know what I'm talking about now we're gonna move on to our voicemail component we have specific voicemails with you guys and mine they were sorted with you in mind hi Abbey's and Adi I love the show I wanted to know what your favorite comfort movies are mine are twilight the hunger games and Shrek thank you for the games hunger games and Shrek hunger games is a horrible comfort movie I have a hard time concentrating the whole thing but I'd say I don't know if they're comfort movies but my favorite movies are the Sandlot and Matilda oh I like those bugs don't you like eat prey love or something like that I mean I've seen it I don't know Julia Julia I mean again I've seen it I don't okay okay I'd say miss the Sandlot I don't say that those are good what are yours mom anything the hallmark would be channel love I love them too because you know I know they're just so wholesome and yeah sweet everybody falls in love at the end yeah the stress over Caleb likes hallmark movies now too oh it does he really likes Christmas but but but but I do love sweet home Alabama that is that everyone my number one yes so good one are we entering this too sure I know you like she's the man she's the man oh yeah I like that one's her real story high school musical three but don't tell anyone I like that one too one and two know but three I don't want to do it I don't like you have a three yeah yeah that's a hot take I don't know I'll say any Christmas movie probably yeah I yeah as a comfort movie um oh I love cheaper by the dozen oh honestly like the second one maybe more than the first two really I actually like a both so much two brothers and his probably my comfort movie I was so jealous of all the kids in that movie I wanted to be in it so so fun I like that girl with the skateboard I thought she was so cool yeah olly Allison Allison yeah Allison donor donor there it is it's a good one love that question okay next voicemail hi guys thank you so much I just wanted to come on me and my husband are purchasing our very first home and I was wondering if you guys had any tips for decorating on a budget and making a small space your style thank you so much love you guys I just designed for Lori in mind oh you're both good at this decorating on a budget um maybe get an inspiration from a style that you really like that you can't afford necessarily but then just trying to find all the accessories and do as much of it as you can yourself right if you like pottery barn but can't afford pottery barn then you can find the doops for it I think there's small things you can do to a new home that you don't have the big money to like go in and like rip out the cabinets and buy on new appliances but the little things like changing lighting and changing knots and paint color um and you know carpet you know goes a long way um what else yeah I always think you're very talented at like making a house like a home or yeah I feel like just getting little touches that right you always have the little details I think you do too Lori like I like having things that are personal to you that makes it homey and not just look like a storefront you know things that nobody else wouldn't necessarily care about but that little piece of something that you got on this vacation or something that belongs to some in your family or you know from your past or whatever that make it homey but right obviously aren't expensive because they're things you're already owned totally right right I think my biggest tip is um go slow I think the urge is like you get in this new house you get excited and you want to fill it but like our house we've been in almost two years and our walls are still you know we're slowly adding things and like curating each area of our house and and so I think it's just having the long game in mind because especially if you're on a budget like maybe you add one picture frame here and like one small thing there and like slowly the puzzle starts to come together and I also think it helps keep you from just buying things that are trendy at the moment because you're slowly doing it totally agree I have a horrible decorator, I have nothing to add in this conversation. That's not true. No, I genuinely. You don't have an interest in it though. I don't want to do it. You have a beautiful home. You too. Hi, Abby's and Abby. My name is Grace and I'm a first time mom of a three-month-old when I'm currently trying to birth. My question for you is what is the biggest lesson you've learned from motherhood since Mother's Day is around the corner. I've been thinking a lot about this and I'm curious what you guys have to say. Love the podcast. Can't wait to hear. Bye. Sweet. Your biggest lesson learned from motherhood. She has a three-month-old? Mm-hmm. Don't get comfortable. Because soon, would you think you have a scale to it just changes? Yeah. It's just going to change. So you just have to change with it and embrace it and enjoy it. That's what I would say. That's great. I'm really thinking recently about how, yes, don't get comfortable. I have also been amazed. This is like a different, I fully believe that 100% and then also the other thing is that's a been amazing, amazing me about motherhood is that like I remember just being so baffled by people in future life stages in me and just realizing that as you go through each day, your capacity grows and that has been really encouraging to me. Like every day is equipping me for the next day and like I think that's also helped me enter the stage of like multiples with more confidence because it's like how could one person be stretched so thin, but it's like you grow. And so that has just been really like encouraging for me that I didn't necessarily because I was like, how am I going to divide myself when I have, like if I, we had this goal of having four kids, like how can I divide myself into fours, like, oh, you're actually going to multiply times four. So that's what happened and so that has been like cool to see, like those changes in myself and like and other moms, where I really like saw that first exemplified that was like encouraging to me, like I could, that my that capacity will change with me. Yes. That was exactly mine too. I'd be actually the first thing that came to mind. I'm like, I have, I just feel like sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm more capable than I thought I was and it's just that, yeah, you're, you just get called to a higher standard and you figure it out and it's encouraging. It's challenging. It's stretching. It's fun and it just makes you just like an all-around better person. You can do it. Yes. I mean, this young lady, she can do it, you know? So we're all moms. What do you all do it? Exactly. And I was going to say, I guess it's not and it's not what you can give your child as much, you know, like you may not have the finances to do, you know, give your child this and this and this toy. It's how much time you spend them with them and enjoy the time that you have and you don't have to have the money to do all these, you know, ridiculous vacations or give them all these toys, but, you know, just having a game night or having, you know, a special tradition that you do every night before bed or something like that that is what actually matters most and not the big things. We play games every single night after dinner. That's why I'm so good at banana grams. And that's how we knew Addie so well is because during COVID, when everybody came home, I mean, she, I mean, she spent a lot of time there and all, I mean, of course, what else we're going to do, but we just like constantly play games. And that's how we all, and that's how it was a kid, we played Disney scene it. We played every, Disney scene it, we memorized them, we get Pete, Gemini, Pete's that play Disney scene it and it's the part where Blake, the dismemorised, all the cards. So I was like, this isn't even funny anymore. But we didn't have a lot of games. Yeah. So I remember what happened when we had Game Night. Yeah, my sister, my younger sister would, when she started to just like feel that she was going to lose, she would flip the board. Flip the board. Just like game night was over. Get in time out right now. Flip the board. Just flip it. Flip it everything. She's like, I can't live. That's a power moment. Game night took a doctor. I mean, we got a lot of hilarious. We got a party house. Yeah. And then we would play. Are you smarter than a fifth grader? We had a tape go, my god, am I not smarter than a fifth grader? No, I can't. That for sure. That for sure. We should do that on this podcast. We should. We should. We're going to be like, and that's where it's going to be. That's going to get clipped and the men are going to find it. That is. The men are certainly going to find it. There, there. The men were stupid women. We stupid women. That's great. Those are all of our voicemails. Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's a good question. Thanks for asking and calling in. If you guys want to call and leave a voicemail, then where did you do this number? No. No. Okay, 602-456-9690. We love answering your guys' questions. So thank you guys so much. Our last segment of the day, moms, is always hungry. Oh. We're always eating. What are you cooking up for us? I don't know. I have tremendous great recipes, but one that I do like is a test-conch chicken soup that I make. It's healthy. It's filling. I think it tastes great. And I have a no-bake cheesecake that I make that I swear is the best. And I just made it for you. Yeah, I did. Yeah. You made it all. You hid it from me. I only got one piece. Okay. So if we're going to make a whole meal with it, you can have my meal, your dessert. I also have dressing for salad that my friend Tammy, I know it's her dressing recipe. It's for raspberry, papi-seed dressing that's fantastic. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Mom, is your test-conch chicken soup? Is that a wait-wash or is your recipe? I think it could be. Can you say it to me? She said it to me in college and it was titled "Zero Points Tuscan Chicken Soup". No, no, no. It's not. It was a zero points turkey chili. And the test-conch soup. No, test-conch chicken. Zero points. That's what would be a point in history for Italy. It was, I mean, history for Italy, baby. It's not. It's not. Okay. But it could be because there's zero points. There's probably no point there. So if you're following the point system. Yeah. Is that still around? I think it is still around, actually. Great. Watch yourself. They rebranded. W, I believe. They approached you with a brand deal a couple years ago. I was like, I can't do that. I have too much a trauma from my grandma doing it. I love it. I think, I can't help you if you're over the age of maybe 30, everybody's tried it. She just, she put broccoli in other shizzards in our bowl. For her point system. For her count point. Yeah, she wanted to try it out. Oh, yes, seductively delicious. No, not seductively. I don't know. No, I got to find it. Because Jerry Seinfeld's mom. Yes. Oh, wait. The first thing that came up was Jerry Seinfeld's wife, cookbook controversy. Deceptively delicious. That's so famous. Famous for featuring pureed vegetables hidden in meals to get children to eat. Yeah. Okay. That's why new people do that. People got a metaphor for that. That's it. No, I don't know why it's controversial. It's my controversial. No, no, no. I think what it is because they want kids to learn to like vegetables and not just have somebody hide it in their food. They want them to learn, but you know, to like the vegetables. That was his wife, right? No, no. Actually, the, yeah, the controversial was actually completely separate. It was allegations of plagiarism and idea from Missy Chase. Oh. Flippeen's earlier book, The Sneaky Chef. Sneaky Chef. Oh. Does sound familiar. Yes. Okay. I don't know. I don't want any. That's why whenever people pose, we would feel the same way about this. Don't put cottage cheese in the dessert. Don't put, don't put, just be potatoes. Don't put avocados. I don't want an avocado. Keep it up. Do it. Do it in your meal time. I don't want a nice cream. No. Well, don't you like the kitty breath? No, I don't. Oh, I do. It's not hidden. It's a known. It's a known. Right. It's a known. Yeah. You're right. It's a front-facing flavor. It's not like, oh, the aftertaste is giving spinach. Right. Well, that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, that was a tangent. Oh. That's for your recipe's mom's turn. Yeah. And thanks for being on this episode. Yes. It was outside of your comfort zones. And I just want to say, we're going to make sure that people are nice in the comments. Because I know that you guys are going to read every single one. I don't think they would be mean. You guys had great things. Thank you for all your wisdom and your advice. Thank you. It was great. Yeah, loving us and our babies and just being good examples of what good mothers are. And so true. Thank you. I feel like we, I mean, I'm going to get emotional. I just feel so grateful that we have such good relationships as adults with you guys because that's very unique nowadays. Yeah. It's more and more adults feel like they need to, for whatever reason, probably very valid reasons need to disconnect from their moms and their families. And you guys are just, you lean in to all the things that we do, all these crazy ventures. And you offer very wise advice along the way, but in a very appropriate way. And the way that you have stepped into the role of being a grandma or a honey is just, it's touching on a whole different level. So just, I can't tell you enough how grateful. So I'm going to say it publicly too, but how grateful we are. I think every day about how, how thankful I am that, like, I'm here with both kids and both spouses that we love so much and now extra kids that I have now. And you both make such an effort to be. A part of our lives too, but it feels really good. - Thank you. - You're welcome. - You guys make it easy. - Oh, it's sweet. - Thank you so much, you guys, and as always, remember. - We're always here! Olen Shannon Maldonado. Käsintehtiä artesaanitua teitä myyvän jaujiin lahjakaupan perusta. Valitsin Shopify, koska alustoja testa testani totesin sen ehdottomasti yhdeksi helpokäyttöisimmistä alustoista. Kaikki myyntiin tarvittavat työkaluut, kuten varaston suunnittelu ovat kätevästi dashboardissä. Aloita ilmainen kokeilu Shopify-piste komsi vustolla. Perustin pyöräilyvää teitä valmistavan ornotin vuonna 2013. Mielestäni parasta Shopify saan se, että voimme harjoittaa liiketoimintaa ilman teknistä osaamista. Voimme hallinoida yrityksen taustajarjestelmiä ja front-endia sekä myydä verkossa, vaivatta. Jos Shopify olisi pyöräilyvaruste, se olisi mielestäni itse polkupyörä. Sillä asiat hoidetaan ja meidän liiketoimintamme hoituu Shopify'sssä. -Kiitin. -Kiitin.