Our Journey Eastward

hello good morning hey bear bear hey bell b and b make a c um i didn't realize you were gonna wear that today because i was i wish you had told me that you're gonna wear your bear bell sweatsuit well i could have worn maybe the top and you could have worn the bottoms but we both decided to do the whole thing let's just do let's just both full send and and call it what it is i love it yeah um oh my god we're finishing yeah we're such a uh we're such a duo a duo you could say yeah i was gonna say twosome oh i like duo better they shorten twosome into just duo which is nice speaking of bear bell's new flavor tell me a little bit about it oh oh this Here's a little thing yeah so they just came out with a peanut butter and jelly flavor and i'm so curious i am too and you're a big peanut butter and jelly guy in general yeah well for the longest for my whole life up until i guess college when it got to the point where it was just like it's time to move on well you're you know you're you have full-time you've actually like a half-time job what's it called part-time yeah whoa oh my god word it's gonna be like i'm gonna be like making new words you're like no that one exists today i can feel it happening um i was out with co-workers and they're like we're gonna get what could it have been it was some sort of fish perhaps branzino and i think it was a seafood restaurant and so like i really my tubes were tied i had to have some version of fish and i was not a fish where are you going with this at some point i had to push myself outside of boundaries but it's nice to be back i thought you were going to uh pivot into branzino flavored protein bar no i'm going to pivot away from branzino completely if you don't unless you want to talk about branzino long no no no that's totally fine i i like this this is good for me this takes you back to my roots it takes you back to one of my favorite duos peanut butter and jelly there's not many duos that are better than pb and jay that's another dewey hi dewey ciao dewey i wake up uh honestly i don't know if i can think of one right now okay wait i can think of one okay i can think of a bad one who orange juice and toothpaste that is a bad one so what's the opposite of that a good a good one like sunny and cher who's that connor i don't know who that is like the the music duo sunny and cher i know cher yeah she's one part of the duo it's giving cher yeah what is it you know i've got you babe sunny and cher uh oh okay never mind that's the only duo i could think of right now um well i'm thinking of food duos a food duo okay well i was thinking of sunny and cher or we're gonna eat them let's just do it okay okay i like i'm gonna right off the bat i like the crunchies on top on top i like the way you open you're so clean like a banana mine is going to come off in several pieces which is why a huge point of condition should we make a conscious decision to like eat into the mic or out of it we've gotten several strongly worded letters to stop eating into the mic so i'm gonna fall this is a food-based segment so it's like okay well my people i'm gonna suggest you just take her headphones out maybe for the next 10 okay and then seconds or minutes the next 10 seconds i'm gonna chew for 10 seconds okay and then i'm gonna swap whatever's left after i'm done chewing for 10 seconds swallowing it whole okay so it doesn't matter okay ready yeah ready yeah oh my god wait there's it look at it for whatever reason i wasn't expecting the jelly to be like actual jelly i was expecting like a jelly flavor but there's jelly in there there's jelly in this this is like a pb and j wow you know what what when i really thought i was stepping out of my comfort zone i started toasting my pb and j's this is what that this is what that's like this is like a pb and j on the go i guess you could take a regular pb and j on the go as well but this one's even pocket-sized pb and j right bottom of my backpack pb and j well said yeah okay i love it yeah that was a nice nice nice treat what a great duo truly wow i'll be finishing that shortly once i can chew into the mic again maybe after this segment um what a treat what a what a treat i really wasn't expecting that jelly i know and why weren't we sometimes jelly is where you least expected like right there but i guess it said peanut butter and jelly i just wasn't expecting physical jelly yeah i wasn't either and it was a nice surprise yeah well cheers cheers hi connor hey you um yeah i need to start off by letting you know that i made a mistake this morning you can't be doing that i know but i'm only human um i've been getting a lot of these sick talks recently from a lot of like white women that are like in a very chinese time in their life and they're like i don't know what to do with this i don't know what to do with this life how did you know i was gonna say that because i've been getting those for weeks oh they're just like so i uh i turned chinese last week and like obviously at first i'm looking at this and i'm like this is going to be pretty offensive but as you watch it's like no they're not being offensive they are adopting chinese health customs um into their lifestyle routine and diet and so there's this whole trend of like being chinese now but it's not um it's not racially motivated it's lifestyle motivated and diet motivated yeah um and so one of the big things i and i'm i'm hopping on the bandwagon because i love doing that one of the big things is drinking hot water first thing in the morning and waiting to have your coffee so apparently coffee first thing in the morning for a lot of people is not good for you because it spikes something okay i think it spikes your cortisol so you like should wait a little bit before your coffee whereas i usually have it first thing yeah so if the past few days i've been doing hot water and or uncaffeinated tea in the morning and then waiting to have my coffee okay because that hot water is really supposed to just uh jumpstart your metabolism yeah etc okay so i've been doing that and then yesterday i had my tea and then i was like what if i just didn't have coffee yeah because that could be something to try and i was fine so i was like maybe i don't need coffee at all so if i did that the next day i would be like what if i didn't have coffee at all so i was like maybe i don't need coffee at all so if i did that the next day i would be like morning as well it turns out i did need it pretty significantly so what you saw a few minutes ago was me going to get coffee because i need it really really badly well and i did not have it this morning so i'm sipping it now so it might take like 10 to 20 for me to arrive that's okay that's something that i can live with completely but i had my hot water you can still be in a chinese time in your life absolutely oh and later i waited more than an hour before i had my coffee that's the chinese way that's that's the chinese way i tried something new and different that was a mistake oh my god and i'm rectifying the mistake right now what i was like why can i feel wind on my navel your buttons out my belly button like these shirts don't they why would it choose to open in that way are those buttons lined up correctly oh yeah yeah i like that sweater it's like a uh structured cardigan yes a lot of structure i wasn't fishing for compliments when i did that but i also wasn't fishing for insults i appreciate that um well congrats on your journey thank you and i have been your journey your journey eastward i've been feeling really great with my hot water slash tea first thing when i wake up good thanks i've been doing the jumps tell me about the jumps i have not gotten i'm also i'm you're also i'm also becoming chinese but i have not gotten past the hot water yet to tell me about your job i'll show why don't i show you the jumps absolutely okay so this is this is something that the chinese also do i haven't seen any chinese doing it i've only seen white people doing it actually now that i'm thinking about it but they say that they say that the chinese are doing it well show me okay i did it this morning i'll do it back here if you can see i've never done it okay okay you're just like loose getting your body warmed up it helps yes it helps the lymph nodes absolutely i can tell i think i combined several of the techniques into one that's fine to do but that's that's my way one is simply you can just jump you can do this okay there's something with the arms that i really think i wasn't doing it look hey listen it looked good it looked great no you know what yes oh my god it's this that's a dance that's like isn't that urkel or something no that's this oh wait no it's carlton yeah you know what we said we're becoming chinese we didn't say we are chinese so it is a journey yeah so as i work on what's the altitude here okay i'm gonna move back over to my seat okay move over to your seat because i have to show you something else that's in my purse because on the spirit of hot beverages guess what this is god can someone just can you guys raise your hand if my belly button starts to come out i'm like not willing or able to have a full 60 minutes of my belly button looking at the camera the same way i am look at me look guess what this is that i'm gonna have after this episode what is that i don't know miso soup is it packets like ramen it's literally this is the miso paste this is dried tofu this is seaweed and this is green onion and they're all in these little packets and you pour hot water over it and you have miso soup and i've been doing it drinking it in a mug wow um i would say so i'm i'm here this week i'm not but thank you for letting what do you mean oh sorry physically i'm sitting here in the studio what do you mean i meant the week broader i leave tomorrow but i'm here right now okay but i'm so happy to see you i'm happy to see you in a way in a way um do you want to tell us why you're here you can't no i can't i'm hosting an award show tomorrow assistance versus agents yeah i'm excited i have like full-blown like a whole night a whole evening of script which is cool we're gonna have a teleprompter but i was like i would have you know like a panic did you write your own jokes or have they been i wrote with you wrote someone else yeah in a writer's room yeah whoa virtually but it was great it's fun i know it was like so collaborative what a treat that was um now i got in late on monday and i rented a car and i got in so late that they were like just go over to the lot from lax you like take that shuttle you go over to this lot and you're like oh my god i'm so excited i'm so excited and just go pick a car any car pick a car any car the only car that was left is um a ford f-250 so it's a dually it's like a what is it it's a diesel truck it's pretty much what a cattle rancher would maybe load a heifer into and i didn't know out of the last two sentences you said i knew about four words so it's a huge truck that's the truck i'm driving around right now uh i look like i look like well you know you know when those like 11 year olds steal their parents car from the gas station they left the left the 11 year old in the car and he's speeding down the highway it's like we gotta pull him up that's what i look like in this thing it is impossible to drive i see you as a truck person i like i like driving a truck i enjoy having a truck i enjoy maybe it's because of like the way i'm built it makes me feel you know like i get you are built like a truck i'm built like a truck yeah like a semi i'm tonka but i yeah i i am enjoying it now i gotta go turn it back in because immediately i hit i hit something it's just like it's so big like i'm not it's it's bigger than my hotel room i'm not joking what are you gonna get in trouble no i got insurance but it's just i don't really understand in what world would someone flying into los angeles need a a truck that could tow a a mobile home like what what who's who needs that truck like and it was the only thing left you a lot of people fly into lax to go on road trips on camping road trips this i don't know about a lot but someone definitely could and might it's right brooke i have to take there's a there's a little staircase like what you would get a french bulldog to get into your bed into this car yeah it like comes down when i open the door and i'm like hopping it takes me it takes me more than one second to get into the car yeah i have to grab something and you and then i'm like oh my god what the hell is that and i'm like oh my god what the hell is that it's lovely to be in that truck yeah once you're in it once you finally get into the seat and then i lower my seat and i push it forward so i can reach the pedal i have really enjoyed my time in there it feels like you're in a you're in the office you're heading out to the oil the rigs great it is great well i'm glad that you're here and even though that it took the truck to get you here yeah i i have a story to tell you about it but i'm glad that you're here and even though that it took the truck to get you here yeah i i have a story to tell you that i'm not ready to tell you yet is it the one that you texted me and is he more like something so gross just happened you're not even gonna believe me but i have proof like it seems like we've gone there on this podcast so many times like i don't know i don't know about this i do want to hear it pretty significantly no i don't think i can tell no you do have to i'm fine with giving you some time before you say it but you will have to say it before the episode ends are you going to say it now or are you going to say it like no i need a little bit of time that's a good teaching strategy by the way give somebody give two options and put the choice in your hands so so you feel like you have agency will you tell the story now or will you tell us no i'm gonna i'm gonna tell a letter i am gonna tell it later great but see um you will be telling the story champ um on my topics list i just have chinese and traders what do you have to say about trade i started watching i had never watched before wow bro yeah i'm obsessed i don't even know this girl sometimes sometimes i sometimes i come back to town you know i i talk to her every week and then sometimes i come in and you've had like a seven day transformation where like you're different than you were last week and like thank you i also don't smoke weed anymore and i so i love this week chinese don't smoke weed i love traders my god i mean the name a few i'm gonna come back she's like i'm actually i'm running for mayor and i can almost guarantee you that probably won't happen i started smoking weed again i'm running for mayor and i'm becoming russian you might be russian by next week oh absolutely i am russian by by blood ancestors and ancestors really i think so you're 99.9 percent askanaji exactly how are you russian at all that's what that's where we come from russia yes eastern europe i need to do some reading eastern europe i didn't know that but oh absolutely okay so yeah but i love traders i'm having so much fun i really like traders too i thought i didn't like reality competition shows because i don't like like the the challenges part i go on my phone for but when they are fighting you like the challenges see those i'm like i'm not invested in those you worried about your belly button fall it's been i keep feeling almost your breath on it oh really maybe it's my breath it's probably my breath because i'm right here no i do love traders i've been i've been tuned in since the last time well i went back and watched dylan's season yeah yeah what a talent what a talented individual and i've always known that about him me too just from the way he moves through the world but to watch him in action and gabby gabby wow yeah they are all really great you know they're doing a civilian season i want to so that's where i want to bring up i want to do it you wouldn't be on the civilians yes i would i wouldn't be on the civilians yes i would i wouldn't be on this i wouldn't be on the famous people when i asked already thanks i think i think i don't think that you could go on a season of that as a civilian i absolutely i'm a civilian that's like charlie d'amelio going on dancing stars as the star instead of the dancer no it is not classically trained dancer i'm a civilian i know by trade you're a civilian but no but by profession you're not well let's say by profession you're not a professionally trained civilian that's what i'm saying you're not a professionally trained civilian that's what i'm saying you're not a well i like i'm an let's say i'm an author yeah that doesn't work for the current traders like you don't have authors on that it's like reality tv people you don't have authors on that yet i'm sure someone on that on that show has or has or is currently writing a book that's true but they don't have influencers or authors on that and i would say those are my two things so i'm gonna do civilian i'm applying okay does anyone she couldn't be on civilian i could like i absolutely could they're reaching out to influencers they want influencers i can't i can't speak you do not have to be a celebrity to play we were looking for smart i can yes sure strategic a little bit everyday people absolutely to compete in the ultimate game of trust and treachery you don't why do you not want me to go on traders i do miss me oh i'll miss you dearly now brooke you have to be off your phone for six weeks no you don't yes you do i didn't know that i asked it's not six weeks i already looked as i was worried about being away from my cats it's two to four that you'd be there and i didn't know about the phone is it safe no phones on there is he no but it does say oh i can't go it's in may 2026 i'm busy but i'll do next season i'm not worried another celebrity but you can have if if you cannot have your phone that's something else that i need to look into but other than that i would look forward to going on the next season of civilian traders they come find me under my blanket and i'd be like i'd look up i'm like on instagram i just needed to get some reels in like i just needed to get some reels in i'm like i i think that this would be this would essentially be like rehab for me for my phone i think you can go on your phone you can't go on your phone traders doesn't have any like you don't need to be closed off from the outside world and not have contact with people like that's not necessarily the plot of the show whereas it is in like the bachelor not really is it though i feel like you probably can't have your phone in the castle but in your hotel room i feel like someone just told me that you can't have your phone on traders i don't think they'd want you texting the other contestants yeah yeah there i will say something about traders there needs to be romance there needs to be able to talk to his family and that was part of what made him willing to participate absolutely i don't know if they get their own cell phones or if they get production devices or something here's what i'm fine with you i'm fine with just a device that i can touch like that's my thing like i need even if it's an ipod touch like i need to be playing fruit merge like i need to be swiping that's the thing and i need to be opening apps and closing them and then opening the same one that i just closed again exactly it's like smoking cigarette so as long as i can fiddle and i have i can talk to people i'm a-okay oh and i need a live cam of my cat we're tweakers like it's so crazy because i'm thinking about not having my phone i was telling izzy when i came in this morning i was like i need some advil and i was like because my eyes hurt from looking at my phone the past few days and i was like when i wasn't on my phone i was on my laptop and when i go from my phone to my laptop my laptop feels like i'm reading a book and then when i go from my laptop to the tv it literally feels like i'm having dinner with my grandparents like that's how wholesome it gets when the screen gets bigger and for that reason i need to be killed and it's for that reason no i and this could be a good break for us so will you come on with me i would love to great no i'm no i'm not selling myself as a civilian no offense to civilians affected i'm a shmedium i think i'm somewhere in the middle you're a stand-up comedian though so that could you are handed we are pb and jay brooklyn you're netflix is a joke stand-up comedian no we are right there together walking hand in hand into this dark night and we're not going quietly it would be so fun if we were we were the traitor well that's what i was going to ask you do you want to be a traitor or faithful oh i'm a liar like i'm you want to be a traitor yeah i would love to be i think i would want to be a faithful i think it would be fun but i would also be disappointed to be one yeah it'd be like oh i'd be stressed to be a faithful but at the end of the day i'd be like this is exciting yeah and i would be relieved to be a faithful but also disappointed so win win lose lose it'd be fun to be on a show where it's like the point is to be a deceitful lying conniving conniving looting gossiping commiserating nasty colton bitch that would be so great i think that'd be so fun and then you get out and be like oh that's not me i was just playing a game and something that i can bring to the show and this is a pitch for myself that i feel like traitors is lacking is the romance now you'll notice rob on this season yeah can't help but notice the guy and what why i just i can't help but notice i just like him okay yeah he was one of my closest friends what do you mean we've just been close for a long time what do you mean and in the definition of the word do you know rob yes i know rob in what way we're like brothers only have you met closer oh god yeah when years ago what did you went where i don't know what did you say i don't remember but you know you met 100 what was he like sweet when he knew the word commiserating when michael was misusing that and he said that's not how you use the word he want he stole my heart he doesn't say much but when he does but when he does his words carry weight and so during my confessionals i don't know if i'm a traitor i don't know if i'm a faithful i know exactly what rob said to me this morning over breakfast and how long we sustained eye contact and i think that's what the show is missing and i would like to offer it to them thanks so you'd like a like a casa amor in traders i just think yeah i think it's missing some romance that could add a level of jean i say can they can they fraternize that's not actually how you use that word out of the like when you're out of the castle i think they stay in hotels sorry if that's like you're not supposed to talk about that but like are they locked in their rooms they should be locked in their rooms because the traders need to leave and and meet so no one should be able to see that so they should theoretically be locked in the rooms but can they so then they cannot hang no can they hang though um that's a good question i'm not cut up so don't give me anything there were hookups oh there were hookups mj said on jeff lewis oh if anything's gonna come out it's gonna be on jeff lewis live is that what you went on oh i'm always on jeff lewis live me and jeff go as far back as me and rob almost i wanted to hear more about you and rob and i feel like a lot of people would people are loving rob i didn't know who he was on love island because i don't watch love island i mean he was he came up in the tiktok class with us he was like he was like a tiktoker no he wasn't he's a snake wrangler what do you think he was posting on tiktok connor i don't know where he posted his snake content actually was it on tiktok yeah and on instagram of course if that makes sense i guess come on reels okay i'm obsessed with instagram reels you know what i bet rob would come on this podcast if you're such good friends he would i don't know if he would yeah i could ask him i think i think it's a bad time he's getting a lot of he's busy get him while he's hot get him while he's hot okay for the press tour assuming that they win that i'm always hot connor you follow each other on instagram connor god yeah dm him okay i'll dm him what will you say oh my gosh do you want to know something crazy while we're talking about people that follow people yeah can everyone stop asking if i'm gonna kill myself on instagram i'm good i get this you are not alone i do too i'm okay i do too i'm okay i'm all right if i was gonna kill myself i wouldn't do it i wouldn't do it i wouldn't be posting on instagram i promise you um so henry henry henry posts or text me this morning he doesn't want this to be public but i think this is fun um he uh he posted a bag haul oh i saw his bags liked by sarah jessica parker and immediately followed and he did not follow her back i noticed or he might have since she followed but it said follow back when she followed him well yeah she she followed him like she followed first is what i'm trying to say it's a crazy i was like yeah you have you completely made it yeah okay rob half this podcast will be being like yeah i'm gonna dm them here we go read it out read out loud what you will say hello i'm going to you guys already have we chat we're friends can i see no private yeah what are you guys talking about asking where you got his jacket where did he get it diesel he's someone i would actually be very comfortable talking to and i'm not even talking to him i'm not even talking to him just saying that because it's like the kind of person that's so hot it's like i don't even care you know what i mean no yeah like that's not even like that's not someone that is going to be in my life long term so it's like i don't care there's the stakes are really low does that make sense yeah gosh dang it okay what's what's the trouble i just got on instagram reels i love them oh because i keep getting um did you message rob yes i said would you come on the podcast please heart let me see i'm on reels again just kidding would you come on the podcast please good job thanks thank you honey you didn't read my last message what was your last message where'd you get your jacket i just said sick then he doesn't he didn't need to respond wait i have actually not really seen any of his content can we watch a snake wrangling we do it in bonus yes okay absolutely connor okay because i don't know how much i don't know how much audio is going to come through about him being like whoa like you know well i i bet i'd have some commentary but no worries we can do it in bonus okay um oh my gosh i was going to tell you something i wish you would oh my gosh i was going to tell oh the way i was going to tell you something brooke we got really like we moved off of sorry i took us to traitors it's it's completely fine i i liked talking about traders because i'm enjoying that that too i'm so glad oh my gosh what am i what was i going to tell you do you want to tell us the gross thing no i'm going to save that for i'm going to save that for at least 40 minutes in okay so we have 15 minutes till the gross thing yeah what would you like to talk about for the next 15 i don't know there's like a lot of pop culture stuff that has gone down in the past week we talk about it well it's funny because i don't really give about any of the actual sub substance that happened like the brooklyn beckham thing disowning the family and what i'm curious about that that comes down to this thing that i said years ago about like a-list celebrities and how i kind of like i here's the thing like i i i don't care about what happens with their family it's literally none of our business but i know they're having like a media off between the two where they're just like squashing each other and it's sad to me it makes me sad but like it makes me sad I also don't like when celebrities of this level like humanize themselves like there's just you know what i'm sorry like i kind of like when celebrities are like larger than life i do like that like that that's what makes a celebrity and so this like new age thing where celebrities are like i'm just like you and then like i'm fighting with my mom online like it like i'm like oh you're not supposed to do that i'm supposed to fight with my mom online i mean it is helpful to know for some people because i know that's just something you prefer but some people genuinely do not know that celebrities are people so like it is a it is a genuine reminder for some people but i guess but this is everyone is like so like i'm team this i'm team i don't know anything about the beckhams by the way like i truly like know nothing about d v or b oh you know the initials yeah i know their names and i know their professions i actually don't know what brooklyn does he cooks but you yeah that's all i know but i don't really know anything about them everyone's so eager to take a side this is an ongoing investigation right we do not have all of the information yet nor should we and that's all i have to say it just makes me sad i'm obviously hung up on my mom was dancing inappropriately on me at my wedding yeah god forbid she wants to shake some ass with her firstborn that is where my attention went as well i mean what are you gonna do i mean you throw a claim like posh spice was dancing inappropriately on me at my wedding and then you look at david beckham's tramp stamp of his son's name on above his cheeks and it does it does it doesn't look good well but it is also like can you guys maybe just like offline group text offline i do think it's an offline thing that being said i didn't it's tough because i do think it should be offline and i do want to see all of it happen yeah i think that there should be like opt-in not like a newsletter newsletter sub sack yes will would i opt in yeah i would love to see it it should be an option yeah it should be not and also i ain't reading all that yeah uh congrats or sorry that happened and she is apparently quote on the floor in bits like a lego about this she like is upset naturally and she's told the daily son that why don't you why doesn't she tell her son daily that she's upset that is why you are a stand-up comedian i'm really serious to me that is genius well brooke thank you to me you are genius you are being so kind to just a man and a cardigan like myself with his belly button i think i really when you thrive is when those things just slip out it's all purely luck but thank you and it's also that's not luck completely a gift from god that's not yeah don't try to learn it not luck you can't um you've been like being more humble recently was there a time when it was like so there was a time when i was less yeah but like you're not telling me any any of your accomplishments you're just being a little bit more under the radar you're giving so the example you're gonna give and i know what you're gonna give is that yesterday it was announced that i am participating in netflix's joke that's insane and i and she brooke texted me or were you not gonna say anything and i was like so i got booked on netflix as a joke months ago i was like that's amazing like that why didn't you text me when that happened i didn't know it was like the legit the legit one so yesterday uh you thought it was the fake one megan i don't know like it i didn't know it was this like i really didn't because things things come across my desk all that you know like stuff like and i'm like oh my gosh cool like netflix's joke like i thought it was just like maybe a one-off show that i'm doing and it'll be like because i like i've gotten inbounds like via netflix before to do like a a showcase where i go up and i do five minutes on a big show that they're sponsored and so i like in my brain i was like oh it's something like that and then megan texted me and goes all caps connor are you joking and i was like oh no what's got what's happened you know is my mom online saying i dance inappropriately on her at her wedding yeah you know no it's that i'm on day three of netflix is a joke festival with seth rogan that same night matt rife let's see my close friend chelsea handler mark normand jonathan van ness and his friends sam j emil joaquin and why and you didn't post about it i was told i wasn't allowed to until today i was told i wasn't allowed to and i was waiting for you to post something so i could post it as well and then everyone posted but i was advised not to and then i was sent my graphic i was supposed to post yesterday and i was like i hate that picture we need to go back to the drawing board um and so i'm hoping to get the graphic shortly well thank you that's very sweet and you didn't really tell anyone about your your rom-com right yeah i did a short film i told you i was filming that yeah but you were like low-key about it and you didn't say anything when it came out well because i can't find it for myself and watch i can't what did you think i thought it was so precious oh good thanks it was fun it was a fun thing to film um it's on youtube it's on youtube yes it was great i looked up connor wood rom-com because he's not going to give you any of the details for some reason it's called twixmas twixmas it's cute yeah and you didn't really talk about that we don't have to yeah no no no no no we don't have to do it here um no no no no no no no it's really cute yeah it's it's by our friend jonah feingold i told you that yeah yeah and he's so good but yeah you've just been a little bit more under the radar than i'm used to moving in silence my belly button out when i say i'm moving in silence like very low good lord like low key some feedback for this brand maybe the belly you need to you need to give me a another button there um okay well i'm very i'm sweating i'm very proud of you thank you that's very sweet and i you as always no need champ but i have to perform a therapy exercise on yourself or me me okay um well my new therapist is helping in the sense that like when i get really anxious about something that i get really anxious about things that i don't know what the outcome is going to be like the unknown is very unsettling to me and so i it helps to verbalize plans and and like courses of action that i can take should x y or z happen so i'm going to philly this weekend for some work stuff and i think i'm gonna get snowed in yeah i'm just gonna say that it's a possibility that i'm gonna get snowed in you know i don't know if i am i don't know if i'm not it's a possibility and that's what's stressing me out hey if i get snowed in i'm gonna be able to get home and you'll be in philly i'll be in philly you could be somewhere yeah you could have been in cleveland i'm gonna be able to get home it's not the end of the world i'm just more so stressed about the like i get to the airport i'm there for five hours it's delayed it's late it's late it's late then it's finally canceled like i can't do that yeah that's but you know what it happens i'll have my kindle i'll have my laptop my cats will be taken care of and it will be okay and i will get back to la eventually that calmed me down yeah my i really like my therapist wait so it's just accepting things that are going on and i'm like i'm gonna get snowed in i'm gonna get snowed in i'm gonna get out of your control accepting and just like okay you know what this might happen and if it does here's what i can do yeah so those are the my options options options because usually what i would have done in the past is just tell myself it's not gonna get canceled it's not gonna get canceled and so when it does devastating it's pretty bad um like because i've told myself it's not going to well yeah that's i'm gonna have to put that on my phone even though it is simply just accepting that things are out of your control but the way you said it for some reason i'm gonna use the philly being stuck in philly as an example i'm going so this ice storm that's coming i guess is like once in a lifetime oh great it's they said that this is an ice storm you're not gonna forget whatever that so the one that's happening on monday you're talking about oh yeah that's when my quiet out is absolutely cool hey and i might get i might get stuck there no worries fine it's ice day so i think that the ice storm itself is supposed to be pretty devastating pretty hard for planes to fly in icy conditions isn't it i've heard that yeah i think more so less so fly more so take off and land exactly flying is fine but the good news is that they can land in la completely fine so they just need to get out they just need to get out which seems to me to be easier um i'm now getting um I'm going to north carolina next week which will also be under duress in duress i think under was good using duress what being in duress so north carolina is going to be affected by the storm as well alleged really it's like the whole um thing it's like everybody so when do you leave here do you leave here to go to north carolina friday no i go back to new york okay and then i'm in new york for a couple days but i heard i mean it's just been like it's just been a couple days and i'm in new york for a couple days and i'm in new york for a couple days and i'm in new york for a couple days and i'm in new york for a couple days and i'm in new york miserable in new york too yeah like yucky it's also going to be seven degrees so anything that does come from these will freeze pretty immediately on the ground on impact on site let me know if you guys are like flight experts what you think i should do if i'm flying out of philly on monday should i just not even bother should i just book a flight for tuesday but i need to be back in la just let me know what i should do i'm i'm trying not to stress about it um a little bit challenging for me so i feel like there's a who cares thing where like everybody gets pushed i think i should take the later from the latest monday no because then you'll get rolled over to the next day regardless yeah but like i feel like the later the flight the more like the storm will be stopping possibly at the end of the day but it'll be night so it'll just be colder maybe like a 4 p.m let me know what i should do i'm serious please help me um that was like the evening that i had to be back it was the night before the radio you show when i was doing jake's tour and we were in dc the night before and i did the opening and then they were like you can loki like if you want to fly home tonight we're gonna take the bus back from dc so and we're gonna sleep on the bus but you could make it home on like a tent like a 9 30 p.m flight washington dc is one of those fuck ass places with several airports and it just searches all of them for you even though one's 49 minutes away and one's 11 and so i obviously booked the 49 minute away one missed that flight push and then the next one delayed delayed delayed delayed 1 a.m had to go back to my hotel spend the night in dc fly out the next morning they they were in bed at 2 a.m in new york i don't handle those situations like it's not fun but at some point you gotta laugh i see i don't get to that point oh i'm just like oh this is this is just i'm gonna i'm gonna have ice cream but you know i'm gonna go into the airport being like i have my laptop my kindle my notebook let's treat it as a writing day get away let's treat it as a writing day and if i happen to get on the plane that's fabulous if i don't look how much work i got done well said thank i love the airport see i don't i don't connect with that but i could like i wish that there was i wish there was a massive barnes and noble in the airport i wish there was some place i could go that was the airport but i don't have to get on the plane and not go through security the mall the mall the people yearn for the mall it's such a damn shame they're all abandoned now what not i keep having dreams whoa that just brought me back brooke sorry this is i feel like i get feedback every time i talk about my dreams people like no no one gives a shit about your dreams i'm like okay i have to tell someone i had a dream i went ice fishing with my high school sweetheart whoa i had a dream i was fishing last night i had a dream i had a dream i had a dream but more importantly the world was ending and i look up in the sky and logan was my cousin logan was moving up to la and i was helping her move and she's in this building and then i look up and all of it was like an elon musk level like all of these drones are landing and they're spraying something and we're like trying to get in sight and it had gotten like all over my skin and my eyes and it was making everyone go blind that's really horrible yeah i like that is a good genre though blind apocalypse it wasn't good when it was happening to me just like for me like bird box you know that was a good that was blind by choice though obviously it was like life or death situation but like she chose i'm just saying apocalypse movies where you're you don't have sight sandra bullock does a lot of blind themed movies yeah the blind side blind side bird box what about box needed to be emphasized for blindness i felt right when i was i totally got it hi 40 minutes time for your growth story no way oh wow no no no i'm not ready you made a choice i just don't think like i should have just subtly just put it in oh my god okay so so yesterday morning i woke up pretty early and i went on a walk and i in la in la and i go i get a car or i get a coffee i walked down to the beach um and i i go onto the sand i walk and i'm like walking the water holding my shoes whatever and it was just like and the fog rolled in by like 8 a.m and you love fog it's a fog year it's the year of fog um and i'm kind of i'm down at the beach and i and it was cool it was just like it was like all of this negative space i was like this is like the coolest thing i took a bunch of cool pictures there was just some dolphins oh is that your fingers sorry oh no it's okay i was just like i'm hearing something i'm growing out my fingernails that's another new personality wow yeah um and so i walk back up i'm like i'm having an amazing day and i go and i sit in the grass um and i'm just sitting there i have my shoes off i'm laying back i'm relaxing and then i keep walking home and i'm like okay i'm gonna get one more one more one more coffee on the way home so i get off the sand i put my shoes on i'm walking up i get a coffee um i popped into this thrift store that i'd been wanting to look into um and then there's like a new baby store that opened on the street and i was like i want to look so the toys look cool i was like i i'm gonna be in the hotel for a little bit i might get a puzzle or something i don't know and then i'm i'm almost home i don't even know where like you do you had seaweed on your foot i wish so is he do you know what so i itch i itch my face bird poop i itch my face and i'm like regular poop i look at my hand just poop on my hand and then i get my phone out i'm like if i smell it is it look at my face poop on my face pooped on who pooped on me i can't believe when did this get here how long were you walking around and i go like this and i go like this and i go like this it's not on my shoes and i look at my foot it's in my shoes wait you didn't notice you slipped your foot into poop there's poop in my shoe so i guess two things could have happened there's poop in your one on your face brooke poop all over me one i stepped in poop while i was barefoot on in this in the sand one option now how do you not feel that or two when i was relaxing something or someone pooped in my shoes when they were off of me either way how do you not feel is i think i would have noticed if if i had stepped in poop so i'm leaning towards the second option that someone pooped in my shoe while i was relaxing with because i was laying back eyes closed off my phone do you think this was a human like i don't want i don't want to accept that but that it it wasn't looking like dog poop and it was not bird it wasn't it wasn't in santa monica so there is a there's a genuinely like a decent chance it was a person that pooped in my shoe while i was relaxing i have a photo like there is a photo i'm going to show you guys after i'm not going to do it right now i'm not going to i'm not going to get just know that it sounds like i'm making this up i started crying like i was tearing up because guys i want to emphasize one more time i visited three establishments with poop guys and it was there was enough people where it was like humming out at least it wasn't on your face yet at least it wasn't on your face till later like i was a patron i was like i got a coffee i got i went into a thrift store like shoe full of poop wait and get this but it was on your hand the whole time it was on my hand absolutely okay and and there wasn't a ton of poop on my hand it was i could see it and then i obviously i'm like i'm pretty close to my hotel but like i'm i'm mortified i'm just like there's poop all over me like and then i was like i can't go like i'm like do i throw away my shoes out here and i'm like i have to they're not usable shoes but i i was like i could also just get into my hotel but then i was like i have to get me what if someone gets in the elevator with me i was like i have to so i went down to the ocean i bathed in the ocean i had to like i had to there was nowhere to go i had to go wash off in the ocean that's what the ocean's for i mean it was just like shoeless bathing in the ocean just like thinking about like i'm thinking about like how many people walked by me and i'm like i must look cool today like i'm like i have a good outfit on i was just like wow so that was a story That was worth it. That was worth the wait. Thank you for sharing that. There's just not a world where that happens to anyone else ever except me. I agree. I do agree. Me in my huge truck, poop in my shoe. It's like my stupid, chungus life. Poop all over me. Who pooped on the front of me? Who pooped on the side of my face? Oh my gosh. Oh, that's really horrible and amazing. So I took like the hottest shower you could ever take. I can't even imagine. Like an hour long. And then you just have to like get on a Zoom call and act like you didn't just have poop all over you. That is like, I don't know if I, I think I'd call it. I needed normalcy to happen. Like I needed my day to like continue on so I could shake that. It's just something that like, you're like, I'm talking out loud, by the way. Like, no, no. Like when, when could this happen? I'm like going through, like, I'm like, no, no, no, no. I'm like, there's guys walking by in suits. It's not me. It's not me. It was you. Wow. Pooped in your shoe. So that is off my chest and off my face and off of my foot now, which feels so good. Wow. I'm going to move forward. How do we move on from that? I'm just going to move. I'm just going to move forward. We had a conversation last week about how did it come up when I was telling you, like, I've heard several people be like, isn't my dog sexy? So I know exactly what it was. I sent you a DM. I'm going to go into our DMs. There's like a genre of book. It's Minotaur romance. So I sent you, there's a new romance called meetings with the Minotaur. And it's, gay Minotaur. And I was like, this could be interesting for me. Big horns, big secrets, even bigger chemistry. Yeah. And then there's morning glory, milking farm. And then there's bad boy Minotaur. Yeah. But I like, hadn't been interested in it until I was like, Minotaur's secret baby. Izzy, can you look up meetings with the Minotaur? Love at Labyrinth Solutions, book one. You don't need to look up Love at Labyrinth Solutions, book one, but. So, you know, this, because of the heated rivalry and everything, I've been really into, like, gay romance and I was like, maybe this could be good. But then I was, Conor and I were talking about like, wait, is like Minotaur romance bestiality. Low key. And it, but it's not because the issue with bestiality is consent. And this is like, they're like human-esque. Oh, the Minotaurs. Oh my God. Anyway, that's how we started talking about bestiality and dogs. Well, I mean, if, if, if meetings with the Minotaur is considered bestiality, so it's not, so would Beauty and the Beast. Which it's not. Which like, I have a little bit of an issue with Beauty and the Beast because I'm having trouble, because that's obviously a cow, you know, with, with like legs and he's wearing a, he's working on Wall Street. Well, I think that that, that would show, I think it's kind of like, this is just a different kind of person because it is more, they are like human. Maybe I have a closed mind. Yeah. I do think that that's what it's trying to show you because I too am a little unsettled. Like, I don't, like Morning Glory, Milking Farm is like a big book and I have been like, I don't think I can do that. Do you see where I'm coming from where it's like, okay, if you are like, because Minotaurs aren't real. Do you know what I mean? Like that, I do think it's opening people up to be like, like, I want to fuck that warthog. You know, like I could say, I don't think that that's a huge leap to be made. Well, they're not, they don't have, what is the word called? Sentience? No, animals have sentience. What's the word? Like not, it's like human. Conscious. It's like, no, because animals have that too. Yeah. Let me, let me look. Why aren't romances about Minotaurs? Let's hit the experts here. Definitely someone on. Oh, sapient. Sapient. Yeah. They're sapient, consenting humanoid entities. And that's all you need to know. Period. Period on God. So that's it. So that's really, but then anyway, Connor was saying, yeah, well then this is what, there's a genre of people who are like, how sexy is my dog? You know, like I've seen this so many times and then Brooke has never seen it happen. I've not seen so many people like TikToks be like, isn't my dog like low key hot? Has anyone seen that? No. Any people say that? Wow. Okay. Wow. I thought this was a larger issue and you do build your algorithm by things that you engage with. Rick by Rick baby. So have you seen that from anyone, you know, or just algorithm? I've heard people say that, that I know. Like, I feel like that is something maybe that your cousin Logan would say. You got it. I didn't even have to say it. So I don't think that that counts as, I don't think that that can be applied. I don't think it's like anyone else. I don't think that can fall to a most. I'm going to hook up with my pet. I didn't think it was. I think it's more like if my pet turned into a human, we would. He would be a hot human. Go on a date. Yeah. I could see that makes more sense to me that my dog is hot. I know. Well, I think that that's. It makes sense to be like my, if my dog morphed into a humanoid sapient consensual being, he would be a good looking guy that I get. I know, but that's just like making the comparison that like, this would be a good looking man. I know exactly what my cats would look like if they turned into humans. Yeah. Rob would be like a total beef. Cake with a buzz cut. See, now we're getting like, it's like weird to me that we would make that. I didn't mean hot. Okay. I just meant like beefcake as in like, like thicker, like a sturdier guy. Okay. And John would be very like twink based twink forward. Got it. So it's this book. Oh my God. A little. That is Robin John. Yeah. Oh, I love that Connor. Thanks for sharing. I know. I'm so excited for people to come back with. Feedback on the like, seeing people post that their dogs are, I know there, I know there's a community of people that are just like. When you framed it as dog turning into human, that made more sense. That's what I, yeah, I think that they are saying that, but people are just blatantly being like, how hot is my dog? I, I, with your cousin, I would, I feel like it is more like this dog is hot. She's married to a man and has, is, has a baby like with a man, not a dog, but it, yeah, she would, I think, and I think that she would agree. Yeah. She'd be okay. I think with us saying that, um, I'm glad we covered that today. Oh, me too. We're going a few different places today. Oh, white Lotus season four. St. Tropez. It is going to be in St. Tropez. I thought it was going to be in like France. Me too. I think I told you that. And I think I made it up. The white Lotus is heading to St. Tropez. Oh, I'm so smart. The suites at the 19th. Century palace turned luxury hotel run three K to eight K per night with a spa beach access by Rolls Royce transfer restaurants, sports activities, and a children's camp. Um, Chris Messina is in talks to be in it. Who is that guy? I love from the Mindy project. Oh yeah. You remember he was in that peacock show also that I loved based on a true story. I will freak out if that's the case. I love him. I don't know why I don't like the idea of it being in like a, like a European country. But I do think that they were getting like a lot of flack for going to places in Italy. Season two. Oh yeah, it was, that was good. Yeah. Okay. Maybe you might like it too. I thought they were supposed to go somewhere cold this season. I think that would play too. I think they should go to Iceland. I think they should go to Greenland. Greenland's colder than Iceland. No. And then half of it is just like Trump coming and being like, we're buying this. Now you guys have like, what's America. I don't know what's happening with that. But luckily that's like not something that we need to cover on this podcast. Yeah. Good luck everybody else. Um, no, I think this will be good. I forgot about Italy. Italy was one of my favorite seasons. I'm trying to remember what happened. Um, the dad was just like sex addict, Tanya, Adam DeMarco was in it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh, and Leo Woodall and Haley Richardson. Oh yeah, that was really good. Oh my God. And Audrey Pollack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Megan Fahey and everyone. Oh, this was a great season. Damn. I white loaded. And Greg, who everyone says looks like Pop-Up. He does. Yeah. Pop-Up says he get people like will come up to him on the street and say that. I could see that. Yeah. They have like the exact same. He's just a bald guy. Yeah. I think I want to be bald. I'm getting like a lot of bald propaganda, pro bald. I just read, you know, that book I read, uh, everybody in this, I get always get tripped up on the title, but it is one of my favorite books. Everybody in this room will someday be dead where the girl is like obsessed with thoughts of dying. I've spoken. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read a second book by that author, Emily Austin, who I'm obsessed with. And this girl had like lived with a very, very severe phobia of bald men. Oh no. And that's what the book was about. She had PTSD and grappling with a fear of bald men. Like she saw a bald man and it was like full panic. She would have a tough time in Florida. Like she was struggling, like at work there was, she had a new bald coworker and that was like a big plot of the book was like navigating that. - Did she have a negative answer? experience with a bald man kind of i don't want to spoil the book but there was a bald man kind of but it's called interesting facts about space you should read it i think she's my favorite author wow yeah i'm reading another one of her books right now emily emily austin yeah isn't that who wrote that's emily henry no no no you're thinking of jane austin love emily henry by the way i love him i genuinely love emily henry um i'm thinking of jane austin yeah no emily austin dead and killed herself like just old and dead she's old and dead yeah one of the classic bummer she wrote something pride and prejudice wow i'm like getting there you know hodgkin's lymphoma oh wow this i don't know what like i always forget that like cancer has been around you just don't really hear like in the olden days like people dying of cancer you hear like plague black plague and black lung and like syphilis syphilis and you don't hear of like can't i guess no one really like all the classic ones what to do with it yeah we yeah i've been googling a lot of health related anxieties and google does seem to think that like by the time i'm 60 there will be serious advancements in cancer research which makes sense i told you last week i went to the urgent care i told you both i told you i went to urgent care i was like i've never had a headache i've never had a headache i've never had a headache such as this and the guy was like i mean like what is it what does it feel like and i was like it feels like are you it feels like a headache like it really hurts like he's like one to ten and i was like nine he's like okay i mean it's probably like sinuses and i was like do you want to check like i was like what if my brain's bleeding he's like there's an episode of black i'm not joking like why like it's so weird how at urgent care they'll be like no you could literally like have been looking at your phone too much or you could have a tumor or anywhere in between no it's not a tumor i asked he said like that's what like how will anyone ever know unless you spend five million dollars on an mri well he said like you one you wouldn't know if he had a brain tumor and i was like that doesn't make me feel better that makes my head hurt and he's like two if your brain was bleeding you'd still be in bed and i was like i would love to be in bed i'm strong like i have a i needed to be here so i could get it fixed and he's like i would say advil and i was like you're weak a doc like and it's of course the urgent care that was completely readily available on the side of the road so i i don't know if we were dealing with employee of the month did your headache go away no god no not as much in this episode of black mirror there's this doctor that has a helmet that allows him to experience his the pain the exact pain that his patients are feeling and like obviously it ended for him right but i do think that that would be really good we talked about this because i was saying how what if i have this horrible horrible pain and then i'm just like used to and i gave it to you and you were like yeah and i'm just like used to it yeah exactly oh i was going to tell you something i just remembered did you know high school musical is now as old as greece when our parents tell us about it don't i watched greece the other day it's the best thing i've ever seen it's a good movie um 20 years old greece no high school musical oh yeah i came alive 20 years ago i was born 20 years ago no let's just say born rebirth call it okay i'm cool with that yeah high school musical for me really was the beginning of the start of something new so to speak well it's like a the birth of a very important piece of me lady who still lives within me the woman who lived yeah i have to pee like i was gonna say that our cycles are synced yeah so it was lovely talking to you see you at peanut butter bye jelly i didn't like that that felt weird but we are pb and j we should have said pb and j because i'm jelly whoa maybe that's what it was yeah later j bye pb i liked that better all right thank you guys for listening sorry about what i told you that's not reflective of my character um and i'm i took a long shower so it's just crazy that like i went to the golden globes and then immediately had poop on me all over me you know like yeah it's important to say humble maybe that's why you've been so humble you guys walk around with your shoes off in los angeles no wonder you didn't post about netflix as a joke yesterday you poop on your face thank you guys for listening we'll see you next week bye bye