Our Craziest Deployment & Police Stories ft. Angry Cops & Joe | Unsubscribe Podcast Ep 281

Connor, when you used nicotine in the past, what have been your biggest frustrations? Turns out you can't get as much of a pump going when you've got a cig in your mouth at the gym that I go to all the time. Was your recovery time worse on nicotine? Oh, and how! It narrows your blood vessels and restricts oxygen to your muscles. It makes it hard to breathe. Your blood doesn't work. Counteracts the pump. Ultra pouches are perfect for athletes, runners, or health-conscious people because they're 100% nicotine-free. You pop one of those bitches five minutes before your workout or your workday, and bam! You're gonna be on fire. A lot of this shit is just actually just good for you, like L-theanine, vitamin B6, vitamin B12. Also, they help quit your cravings and they suppress your appetite. When do you recommend taking Ultra? I'm gonna do this before the gym. Before I'm pumping it. Crazy style. It's got nootropics. Nootropics. Nootropics. What's your favorite flavor, Brandon? Mine's tropical. I like cool mint. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch. Delivering instant focus and mental clarity, all without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code UNSUB to get 15% off at TakeUltra.com. That's 15% off at TakeUltra.com when you use code UNSUB. Oh, the Conex filled with Glocks? Wait, what? Oh, yeah, you should probably tell them. We can cut some of this, right, guys? Some people would call that defrauding the United States Armed Forces. Wait, wait, wait! Come out with your hands up! We got a firetruck for three Gs. How many Glocks did you give him? That shithead knows how to think outside the box. I think outside the box. I mean, do illegal activity and not get caught. Say hi to Eli. He's racially ambiguous. And Brandon, his hair is fucking fabulous. And Donut, a dark joke disposition. And there's a fat electrician. Welcome to Unsubscribe. Well, you want to kick things off? Yeah, I'm ready. Get that drink ready. On the count of three. One, two, three. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Unsubscribe podcast. I'm joined today by Eli Double Tap. Joe, just Joe. It's like Madonna or Cher. Rich, Angry Cops. And myself, Bro Nut Bomberator. Thank you for joining Unsubscribe. And I'm, oh, I shaved my beard. I forgot the wig. I was going to be Brandon, Dark Brandon again. Damn it. Dark Brandon is everyone's favorite. Not Brandon's favorite. Dark Brandon is a favorite of mine. Aw, shucks, man. I was, dude, I was like, oh, well. Bullet dodged. Settle down, Trump. I actually talked to Nick. I was like, oh, I texted you guys earlier. I was like, hey, podcast this. Brandon was like, oh, shit. Okay, I can make it around this. I'm like, cool. I was texting. And then I thought, I was like, maybe Brandon shouldn't be on one with Joe and Rich. I'm going to text. I'm going to text to Fat Electrician. He gets in tonight. We can just do a later one. But, okay, okay. Just ruining your career. Wait, that was an option? No, no, no, it is an option. He stepped up. I was like, uh. Joe, the list of things you wanted to talk about. And. Oh, that's a good list. I do want to talk about. But the and the. What else were you talking about? Uh. And, I don't know, a couple other things. You just got to Brandon's face in horror with each one. Wait, hold on. I forgot the final one. That was another one. That's a big one. Is it too late to leave? No. No, you're good. Welcome. Stay for the fun. We could send you back to somewhere that could abuse you, or you could just stay here with us. It's true. We wouldn't want to put you back in the hand of your abusers. No. My boys. Oh, we got. Well, Joe, you have to introduce yourself. You guys have known each other for. Fucking ever. Nah, it's six months. I picked him up on the street. Great. I can tell you, though. Let me tell you. Listen, when you picked me up out of the gutter, I didn't know I'd be sitting at a table with real YouTubers. I like you guys. You're really cool. Thanks for giving me a ride, dude. You're welcome. It was so dirty, I thought I was black, and I was doing a good thing. Turns out I'm just lifting another white man up. Jeez. Wow. Trying to do the right thing. You can just put him back. You know what? It's really good working with some real talent here. Over here and over here. Nice to meet you guys. Nice to meet you. Pleasure to meet you, brother. How'd you guys, you go back for, wait, actually, Rich was your NCO? No. No. Oh, it's the opposite. No, no, no, no, no. Just because he talks louder, that doesn't make him in charge. Yeah. Yeah. No. I don't even think I was your boss ever, either. No, you outranked me, though, but we were never in direct leadership roles. I don't know. Our second tour, when- We tried to do Scam and Seizure. We became the Scam and Seizure team. I think you were my senior NCO. I think you were my raider. I was your raider. What is Scam and Seizure? Oh. Logistics. Joe, I'm so confused. I'm military, and I looked at Brandon, I was like, what? So, the Scam and Seizure team is not a real team, but there's always people that need to get things. There's stuff laying around, there's deficits, people need stuff. Oh, so this is the strategically transfer equipment to alternative locations. Procurement team. Correct. Got it. Do you steal shit? Yeah. Well, we barter and trade the things that we stole for things that we can keep on or off the books. Yeah, tomato, felony, whatever. The initial part might be- Frowned upon. But the secondary trading is actually very beneficial for the people in the military, because you need things. We need things, and we reincorporate lost items into the supply chain for the benefit of others. One of my favorite things is, that I do brag about you to other people about, is the, I guess, the highlight reel of things that you were able to obtain in our first and second tours. I don't know what's that. No, no, no. This is your turn in the hot seat, brother. Statue of limitations. Dear chief, dear boss. I'm just imagining you're like the f***ing rocket raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy, just like, yeah, some guy's leg, you know, shit like that. Yeah, just getting random things. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You should probably tell them. About what? Oh, the connex filled with glocks? That's, uh- Wow. Okay. Yeah. Wait, what? So, oh, my God, dude. Oh, yeah. Which war is this? Brandon, now I know how you feel. OIF. Six. It doesn't really matter. So, we're there, right? Like, no shit. There we were, right? Knee deep in sand dunes and all sorts of stuff. Details not important. Yeah, unimportant. But I can tell you, though, the military does lose a ton of s***, like, daily, weekly, annually. I found a connex literally in the middle of the desert. Just sitting there, just a box in the middle of the desert. I'm like, huh, there's no names on it. Clip. I'm going to double check what's in there. 1,100 glock handguns. 1,100 glocks. Wait, these are glocks which are not your standard military. No, they're just regular glock 19s. We're handing them out to the army. The army had a program. They were giving Iraqi police officers and military police training, so we gave them glocks. They started selling the glocks. They started selling the bullets. And the army's like, yeah, we're not doing this. And then, not too long later, they came out with an article that they lost 12,000 glocks. Long story short, he still has 9,000 for sale, if you're interested. They're on Marketplace. It's totally legal. Joe's Facebook. No. YouTube censored. That was a joke. That's an obvious joke. There are no weapons for sale. No, this is, it don't. Probably not. I don't know. Are they? No. Inflatable tube man. Joe's glock. Joe's glock. Because of a horrible miscalculation, I found way too many glocks. Tossing it around. Come down to Joe's. Do you know, I would, oh my God, I would love just, I don't know. I just thought about like throwing glocks up and having it rain on you, but then they're all like five pounds a piece. Better than SIGs. Man. Now they'd all go off. But yeah, you're right. Were you able to get the Connex with? I turned them all in. I did the right thing. But if you, let's say hypothetically, you were to use them as trade. Oh, let's talk about a story then that's fake. Okay. Let's talk about a fake story real quick. Let's talk about a hypothetical. Yeah. We love hypotheticals. If my aunt had nuts, she'd be my uncle. But kind of where we're at here is there's a lot of different things you can barter based on lack of all the things. Thank you, sir. It's for the shine. Everyone loves, that's how I know. I love it. I think we've said it. I'm going to eat one one time when somebody stares because they'll just automatically, they just watch and wait for to see what the hosts do with them. Oh, yeah. Because like, if you use them. Oh, that would be great. If we all just shoved in our mouths. They would guarantee, I guarantee the person would be like. Oh, yeah. If you had somebody that like wasn't like used to like the lights, you know, or didn't have like a background with like film. Dude, I didn't know. They'd be like, what are they doing? Is this like part of the baby eating thing that Hollywood's a part of? They would do it. Adrenochrome. These are filled with Adrenochrome. That's why Brandon looks so young. It's the Bohemian Grove ritual. Oh, that is a thing. So, Joe, hypothetically. Hypothetically, a lot of different PSDs and colonel protections, they didn't have guns, but now they do. And that was really cool. And people were thankful and they helped out other people. That sounds good for the army. It is good for the army. It absolutely is. We found unregistered, don't exist weapons in the middle of desert and then turned them into legitimate purposes and things. They had utility. Was this on a base and it was just one of those connexes? It was like out in the random part of a base. It was on the back end of a base. That's what's crazy. That doesn't, there was like no reason to be out here. But I know that's the best place to look for things. Like as a police officer, if I was going to go look for shit in your house, I'm going in your front door all the way to the back of the house to the bottom of the closet. And I'm going to look what's underneath the shoe rack. I'm going to the furthest part away from your door. Same with the same with the military base. I'm going to the furthest away from the entrance. I'm going to look for all the shit you want to hide. Psychologically, it's the easiest place to hide shit. Far away from the entrance. Nobody will find it. Here we are, 1100 blocks later. Yeah, traded them. I mean, did the right thing with them. Yeah. Yeah. it's really really big of you to turn those in it was super nice of me did they give you a medal no i didn't get a medal but there was a colonel that got a silver star he did get air conditioning you gotta well i mean technically you didn't get metal you got like a heavy thing that we almost shipped home oh god there were talks of shipping home a humvee i don't know how we got that humvee not related to the glocks at all so not only is the military possibly terrible with equipment they're terrible with paperwork too and they just it just falls off paperwork and people like that's not mine i'm like that's not yours is this yours not yours it's mine dibs take it then i just invent paperwork and then get it taken care of but now it's ours well that's the story like with uh cody and of course the one time he's not here uh where he got lost by the navy and he's like yeah for like i forget what it was like nine months to a year he's like yeah my job was to like swim in san diego to work out yeah damn it's like i'm nothing i was also transferred to what we call echo company that doesn't exist as well so for a while in the military i didn't exist when i got out that's what i did the last three months got back went to formation they didn't call my name and they're like if we didn't call your name raise your hand i was like not that stupid i'm not that dumb and then i went to bico i was like did they put me back with bico i walked back and went hey was my name called like nope i was like and then i checked in a week later asked the buddies i was like anyone say my name yet like no no phone calls and then i just started walking around with manila envelopes that's the best well you're still getting a paycheck though like the paycheck came on the first 15th yeah because i had three months there's no uic right like you're not assigned to anybody exactly that's beautiful so then sergeant major walks up and i'm with my buddy and he's like weber why the are you here get inside cuavis and he's like make make some do push-ups first and gets out recovered get inside cuavis how you doing go sergeant major he's like okay he's like well see you later and he walks off i was like and weber comes back after he's like you're supposed to be in my platoon you so some people would call that defrauding the united states armed forces i see it as a make good for the time off you never got after you got shot yeah see oh well i just i like the way you said that you know what sounded way more pleasant and legal i'm learning from you oh he is a be careful no you'll be great in congress joe we found our end i'll be your consigliere you know come in whisper in your ear from time to time oh it will not surprise me if joe ends up with the old air force one that trump doesn't use anymore because it's just like joe's like rich i got a plane we gotta go now what do you mean i mean yes okay let's go he's like brandon brandon flying bring seven parachutes in case it doesn't work out seven why seven who are the other people pete's coming i'll tell you on the flight don't ask any questions oh man but yeah you you were able to find a humvee that nobody had on their books and you were like oh cool it belonged to an old sf unit eventually i found out and i had this thing parked in the connex i had to fold the mirrors in back it in there i was talking to two different custom agents at the time because you can't inspect your own container and i'm like hey do you happen to need oh my god look what i got and give them the items that they requested and they're like yes we're willing to do this and i'm like fuck man i really don't want to go to jail for any of this it's only a humvee so i didn't do it i chickened out at the last moment but recently fine we would have been fine we could have been fine but recently i purchased a 1990 amg 6.2 liter diesel humvee i got an m998 now it is not the one i shipped home yeah it's probably like crazy three thousand dollars no 20 grand jesus for an old humvee they still cost that much it's only got 400 miles on it he got oh wow he got a 400 mile humvee in fact you told me he's like it's 400 miles but when you actually wrote it it was like 60 wasn't it so i put a couple hundred on in my small little town because cool man like so comfortable it comes with back pain and ptsd options they only brandon have you ever rode in an actual have you rode in an up armored you want the slowest vehicle you want known to man yeah dude that it's a gunfire we're getting an ambush go you can walk faster than that thing's gonna accelerate you out of that gunfight yeah it'll do it it's one of those things where like it was made like modular to be able to accept the armor but not the least bit of it and it's like it's like it's like it's logistical like be able to be a car with the armor it didn't operate that way at all no 65 it struggles at 65 it's a rocket ship at 65 miles an hour it starts to take off on the high end yeah yeah what's a rocket ship because you're not stopping it once you're going through 50 feet of dirt that i've run over a few trees with those oh god i was just thinking like how do the brakes stop that much mass not well they don't they don't that's why you constantly got to bring them into maintenance to change and since i'll like put out a leg like the fred flintstone just oh god and grind it down like a pencil being sharpened oh yeah the humvees are fun and the one that i picked up was all redone the guy had it previously registered at 12 miles that's it that's all it was ever on this it was a national guard humvee i have to imagine that the unit the unit was shut down or disbanded or somehow i just never touched it yeah and just never touched it that's okay that's the title for this episode is we stole military equipment and got away with it oh yeah they're and the thumbnail yo does we we're all implicated like and the word of the day is implicated you guys are now with blackface and me and brandon are the police officers on the thumbnail good god you guys get to be the cops all right the humvees lights are under the background i don't want to go to jail i i'm gonna request to see a draft of this thumbnail i don't know about this guys do you want to wear a ski mask a shiesty a shiesty yeah we wear the shiesty wears we are the shiesty we're the shenanigans you know why the ridge power bank is nice why because it has two simple cords usbc in the ipad one iphone the old one the old one is a great way of putting that boom that's two that's all you need so you can charge everything with just that one device you can charge anything that uses a usbc or a apple lightning cord unless you're like me and you broke your phone and you're too lazy to get another one so uh you can't actually charge with either of these cords what it does have is the conductive charging show me how that works brandon i would be glad to you just charge this up and it magnetizes to the back of your phone magnets with 20 watts of power it charges your phone as fast as possible 20 watts and 10 000 milliamps holy macaroni milliamp hours is what i meant to say wow that's three whole full phone charges right there in your pocket with free shipping and a 99 day risk-free shipping you don't have to worry about charging the phone right now you can charge it with your phone and you don't have to worry about charging it with your phone you don't have to worry about charging it with your phone you don't have to worry about charging it with your phone risk-free trial plus a lifetime warranty this is the last power bank you'll ever need these things also look badass boom show it brandon i'm showing it throw my wallet at it available in matt olive base camp orange and matt black a design that screams i didn't buy this at the airport also they have the ridge wallet the ridge wallet you say this is the last wallet i'm ever gonna buy because he's gonna lose it and get stuck in vietnam one thing to pack five ways to power you can find the ridge power bank at best buy or our listeners can get 10 off if they go to ridge.com and use the code unsub at checkout just head to ridge.com and use code unsub and you're all set after your purchase they're gonna ask where you heard about them tell them unsub sends their regards tell um so do you guys work together now as like on the police force adjacent towns he works for the city i work for the town okay well and i that's one question i had is because you guys have known each other in the military and then in police work but your perspective and we even talked about yesterday of keeping rich out of trouble or you worry about getting in trouble it happened in your car on the way to go get tacos i know we're just we should do this like well like that's kind of a crime no it's not it's on the side of the road we can see if we can delete this boat tell them tell brandon what the go ahead i was gonna steal a fat katie sign and what i wanted to do is i wanted joe that is a crime that's a crime it was in public yeah it's still a crime it was zip tied to a fence i was telling him it's a crime that's yeah that's a crime who owns the bridge eli was half in that's that's public property yeah so you're allowed to do that within a certain amount of time to steal it yeah no no there you are sure you are rich it's tied to public property so so then i can tie things to flock cameras and not get arrested that's what i'm hearing if it's political there are there are guidelines on political advertising yeah there's also just just so you know a flock camera aren't bulletproof that's crazy i would have thought that they would have put some sort you don't but no no i need as a laser a couple hundred yards out huh that's you burn the burn the thing the lens i don't know that works actually yeah that yeah that really will yeah yeah that'll burn a fucking sensor instantly instantly yeah so you don't even have to touch it you can just go and it looks fine why is it not working ah it's fuzzy these things fog up all the time all they see is richard high six feet away shining a fucking laser into the side mouth open i just picture you popping in frame like all foot away you're like in front of the camera you just see your hand you look to make sure it's in the right spot no back down i'm just picturing it's it's you army crawling 400 yards all in view of the camera to get out of the view of the camera you're done i wanted him to film it i was like yeah i'll just wear a shiesty because no face no case and then i want but i also wanted to do it kind of comedically and have the big uh switchblade that you guys have and ka-ching and then that's how i cut the uh things well after election day it's first come first is it abandoned property after that i actually don't know that's a good question i know i've like the last election i had to go like personally a couple places around the county like cut them down and take them out because like at a certain point it is i think you get fined for leaving them up you do get fined i do believe that's also a town ordinance as well So what you're saying is I'm doing a public service After the fact When I took like 10 India Walton For mayor's signs None of this is legal advice By the way Fight socialism What did you take? Are we actually admitting to crime? No Oh my god That's rich high Can we bring that on camera? That is me We stole this from a local restaurant Holy shit Who did that? I thought it was a Richard actual thing And then they're like no Eli we just found this That's you bro Garage beer Jason Kelsey's garage beer Jason Angry Cops Kelsey Richard Jason Cops Kelsey Dang The second That's a good Jesus Christ I thought someone made this and then someone brought it As a joke as a prank Yeah and they're like we took this I'm like I think the boys got hammered on election night And stole that Yes If I recall Acquired it These are strong words Well actually no I think we had permission We had permission from the bar We definitely said it looked like rich Yeah Oh my god You guys sent it to me And then I think somebody AI'd rich high Or angry cops over Kelsey Oh over the top And I was like yeah that does look like me with a beard I just shaved my beard off Literally two days ago God that looks like rich That's crazy If I would have had it right now I would have taken my shirt off And put it back on And put a beanie on And nobody would have known It's like the live shows It'll grow back in a week It's like it says this is two days You had to have that baby touch Yeah I had to have that baby touch Man Dude Brandon how you doing? You've been slammed right now with all your Yeah I'm tired brother No no I was just still bags under the eyes Yeah I'm doing like multiple events a day All over the district And then DC and flying around Just all over the place But it's good though We're like The energy's high I'm doing as much as I can Because at time of recording We have 66 days left So we're just pounding pavement Raising as much money as we possibly can Talking to as many voters as we can Doing everything Is there a website that we can donate to your campaign? In fact it's brandonherreraforcongress.com Every donation of five dollars Actually enters you to win A fully automatic gift card right? Well that one we did So we do see this It's a full auto gift cards are amazing dude We did this one We did just finish the giveaway I gave away my own personal Transferable Ruger AC556 machine gun Oh Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club The day he became a father of 30 I coach football Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off Grocery store prices 30 pounds of pasta 3 cases of protein bars 75 sports drinks And that's just pregame He knows teamwork And BJ's knows savings This is your home coach Home of the save Join for just $20 at BJs.com Slash mesquite And save 10 cents per gallon For six months Open soon Limited time offer New members only BJ's Home of the save That was I do have a question for you though Yes I got an answer Force reset triggers Here I want to take them home with me Can I buy one here And take it home? You can do what you like No no no Oh all of a sudden Now we're not talking Now we're not talking This guy comes up With you can do what you want I'm telling you Is that In the state of Texas And pretty much fucking everywhere That's not gay FRTs are completely unregulated Just like every other trigger Like it's treated like every other trigger It's a piece of a firearm The only piece of a firearm That is regulated by the ATF As the firearm itself In pistols is the frame typically And in rifles is like Like the lower Or what is the receiver So FRTs don't fall into that category It's just like buying any other trigger Like a race trigger Or something like that Completely unregulated So they're not regulated They're not going to ask For your driver's license They're not going to ask For anything like that And it Oh so it's like voting in New York Exactly Exactly like that Zing Oh man Take that my Donnie And wherever you want to take that Is between you God And your gas card I want to be like Santa Claus I just want to show up in New York With a fucking big sack of RTs Yeah Just handing them out I wonder how many We can pre-order For like 50 bucks a pop 35 Let's get them Oh my god That should be a giveaway for us For our podcast For the Overserve podcast I like indictments In New York FRT giveaway I don't Well if you're not allowed To legally Like if you're not allowed To sell them in New York Actually It's a giveaway You can sell them in New York I'm not selling it Can you sell them in New York I can tell you as a police officer I can have one But I don't know Is that I can actually Get one from my dealer You guys have weird Like even Let me look at it You have the weirdest rules Because police officers Have a different set It actually makes Getting firearms hard For you guys No Rich No well For you Oh for me yes Because you're like Oh no We can't sit back Totally straight up Forced reset triggers Are strictly illegal to possess Manufacture, transport, or sell In New York Oh shit Geez No What What Did you say Boats Boats We have so We have the Great Lakes Yeah we do It's the Great Lakes of America I'm not buying Oh Hold on Whoa It's a fucking Class A misdemeanor What That's not even a real crime Yeah Come on Well I mean It could be a real crime I've got charge of one of those That face right there Right Dude It just The camera just needs to go You were like Hmm The second you said Misdemeanor That was That What'd Caleb call you Uh Uh Cheeky bastard Cheeky bastard Yeah that was the cheeky bastard That was the cheeky Dude Uh well Okay Um Alright well I'm getting two different things From Google AI Because it's Fucking shit Yeah Uh This one is saying Uh Transporting or possessing A force reset trigger In New York Is a class E felony Carrying a prison sentence Of one to four years That's worse Class E felony Yeah That's weird But why What is the I wonder what the case law is Probably a Hochul clause Yeah I'll have to look that up Or a financial fine Of five thousand dollars That's an expensive trigger Or Yeah but then you're A convicted felon Yeah no I was gonna say I'd take the five thousand Over four years in fucking prison I don't know Could be fun J.D. Vance came out great I just J.D. Delay I was gonna say I was like I'm learning new things About our vice president The Marines are basically A tour in a You know In a penitentiary Are we lying We're not gonna lie To ourselves here I mean that's how You're qualified Damn Brandon's actually Looking into He's like wait These rules No no it says Class A misdemeanor again Okay so Well jeez Now we have to just Well no that's in New York You can do everything Right up into the border And then we just drop them In Pennsylvania And leave them there That's the whole plan Just drop them right at the border I need to buy land On the Pennsylvania border Of New York Stat Boom Yeah And then everything's fine I can literally jump over the line Like a little fairy You just need like One of those string zip lines Card shit back and forth Attached to my I never left Pennsylvania It's a 250 mile long line Around Manhattan And Isn't there already A road map You can work on Saturdays There's a wire in fact Yeah Wouldn't that be funny If like that's how The Hasidic Jewish people In Manhattan Like Get rid of their F.R.T.'s They're just like We need to hide The weapons That are coming for us again You know Boom It's just a big zip line With yarmulkes on it And dreidels or some shit I don't know I'm just talking out my ass Right now A zip line with dreidels Would be pretty awesome I'm like man That's kind of cool I want to see you On a zip line with dreidels Actually That would be fun With the dreidels chasing me Yeah probably Angry dreidels Yeah it'd be good Dreidel dreidel dreidel Oh Digging it home I wanted it with your stuff Any more Come from the Brandon I don't know if you know This is pretty cool It's 96 years 93 years The first civilian To have a 92 92 years The first civilian To buy a suppressor With no fingerprints No registration Well First one in 92 years To do it legally Legally There we Yeah I was going to say There's been a lot of civilians That have done it before But yeah no A lot of flashlights And oil traps sold right I've had a Yeah The solvent Solvent traps Oh That have a unique threading Yeah Half by 28 typically I have a story for you After all this But It was great There's really no update I know that Rob Cicada I believe that's how you say I've been saying cicada for a while I feel bad Rob Nothing personal Sorry Rob Scott is the director Of the ATF And I talked with him recently And we had a good conversation What I can say is that He's probably the most Pro-gun director We've ever had In charge of that organization Since it split off From the treasury department He's an awesome guy He's just trying to make sure They do the guidance right So gun owners don't get F***ed over So that like Gun owners FFLs What not Have CYA So that they're covered If for example We get a Fucking Gavin Newsom Or AOC president In two years And they don't They can't just go back And throw a bunch of Law-abiding gun owners in jail Can you blame me If that happens Just do it What's that Take me out If that happens Don't even ask questions That's a rich responsibility I think Yeah I'm not making the trip So that's You know You gotta put him down It's like a redneck honor Right Putting the guy's dog down Yeah Put me down Yeah Look at the flowers Lenny i have an answer i have an answer for us so this is weird and very new yorkie new yorkie possession of a rapid fire modification device which would be an frt could be class a misdemeanor however and this is weird right oh having one you possess it misdemeanor manufacturing transporting or disposal of one is a felony how the is disposing you're getting rid of it right yeah so let's just say manufacturing transport so i'm a guy i'm in my house i've got an frt that's cool i haven't made it i haven't transported it i've just i bought it online they shipped it to my house that's a misdemeanor but if you're driving down the road with it valentine you show a lot of angry intent driving like that all loaded up with an frt that's how does those work it's like seattle or washington adopted that if i hand the gun to you even if i'm climbing over you're climbing over a fence and i'm like oh hold my gun real quick i gotta hop over fucking felony yeah yeah i always like to kind of look at situations like that with the what if and the guns why is a police officer talking to you why are we here right now because if i pulled you over for speeding i'm not asking you about your gun but if i'm pulling you over and asking you about your gun it's a gun day like we have an issue with the gun i've never thought about it that way you know what i mean i'm doing this and that like that that's fantastic but somehow you've attracted the attention of law enforcement in some obvious manner and i'm not asking you about your gun i'm asking you about a karen civilian that's like oh no guns are bad and then they give you a call and now the cops are they're asking you about your silver handgun with a black bottom you know what i mean what's the what's like a what's it i guess example of that i literally pulled a kid over one time for speeding he's like i got an ar on the back it's got two trigger locks got a chamber uh flag and something else like yeah that's cool dude um you're doing 50 in a 35. i don't give a shit about your ar like that's not why i pulled you over however i've gone to different domestics and he's like his guns in the back like oh okay cool you did something dumb with your gun that somebody wants to point it out to me and i have to go find it now so now it's a gun question not a domestic question well that gets roped in too but primary is going to now be the gun that's the thing that's going to harm me right not the stupid words coming out of the ignorant bastard across the room it's going to be that gun so we'll go get the gun and then we'll deal with the other stuff so it turns into a gun day when you do stupid shit because i hear that uh yeah like domestics are like the worst calls as far as domestics being like some of the worst calls for like things that can escalate absolutely and the fun part about domestic no none of this is fun but the crazy where we talk about like trauma and being experienced in these things you guys are fighting say you guys are dating you guys look cute together like i really feel like this could work who's the bear rich is the bear and you invited a third party so that's why the cops are here because you invited somebody else we're mad yeah you're very much rich into this relationship two bottoms and here comes the top not my first time in a love triangle man these cans i hate thursdays i was trying to talk about something so all right me and eli are gay yeah so you're not making brandon happy yeah obviously you're not satisfied i'm here to fulfill i mean i actually don't like this hypothetical because i boxed eli he could beat the fuck out of me but not in the bedroom that's what sucks i can't beat them guts oh i'm doing the math on this holy shit dude there's just so much with all that i'm keep somebody keep talking because my brain's trying to make so we go into the noises to make the noises it's so i don't want to hear the noise why is it moist who's crying i don't want to hear the noises of two men i don't want to hear it definitely has an asian accent we're wrestling oh you're so big oh brandon number one man you my congress of this area my district 23 is so give me all your 22 you know all 27 districts on my butthole i want you to do all the districts oh every district the erection is an election winnow oh we don't lose still win back to your hypothetical i have an election erection can we unwind this i don't i don't oh god we can try the pace has shifted summer's loose schedule is gone now it's earlier alarms pack schedules and a third thing i forgot immediately after reading some would say more on your plate you know one thing that didn't change in my schedule ag1 because i would never sacrifice drinking this it's gonna help me sleep 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after a fantastic date night and election processing votes whatever which way you guys want to smash guts uh the police show up because rich is you know gone now and you guys are arguing you're mad at him so mad that you call the police like i'm gonna send you to jail brandon you're mean okay cool well i come in i tell you it's not really a crime well as i go to arrest brandon because now like say we have a mandatory arrest here because he broke something now you're mad at me because i'm taking away your boyfriend so you attack me then he's mad at me so i gotta wrestle with him and worry about you but you called me initially for help this shit is confusing so what did they want you to do well that's the best part so i do like a little litmus test when i get in there hey blah you're telling me oh i'm so scared and brandon's so bad and he needs to leave the house and i'm like well brandon can't leave like really a crime didn't happen now mind you i haven't done a full investigation i don't understand what level of crime we may be dealing with i'm like it would probably be better you being the logical one now i'm telling them and i touch them i violate their personal space you're smart you have a master's degree whatever it is you're a genius you're beautiful he thinks i'm hot yeah i do think you're hot so you take them home so i what jesus somebody got fired for that seriously oh well we'll talk we can tell you joke about it anything any joke that we make here is probably a real life situation somewhere we'll talk about it we'll talk about that we'll talk about that joke after this yeah that made up story messages will be right back i imagine that made-up story has a news article affiliated with it does it does it does and a dick pic oh fuck me yeah it was nice working with everybody guess what you can catch me at that's where i live now i just got fired me no i didn't get fired but um so when we're doing the domestic the litmus test is if i take the logical one that called the police on the bad guy i'm like hey dude it's probably better that you leave the home you have to go it's safer for you to take the children and leave the home that is the logical decision get away from the problem i can't do that this is my house my attorney said it's abandonment oh oh so this really now isn't about a crime this is about manipulation of paperwork and like family court and some other situation so now i have to get out of here because now you know immediately oh this has this is planned this is premeditated somebody wants something yeah or if something does pop off or let's say he starts getting aggressive because he thinks that you two are picking sides now yep now he tries to go arrest him he now knows eli might jump me because he's not here to actually get brandon arrested and kicked out of the house he just wants us to play mommy and daddy settle down kids all right you're right you gotta listen to him and then i told you i called cops yeah yeah yeah yeah so then 9-1-1 family court so what again 9-1-1 family court sort of thing dude you'd be amazed at how that is i've never heard of that that is dead on i just made it up but that's very good did you really no you're welcome to steal it that's all yours it's acquired note taken it's actually there you go there he goes acquiring more shit that's actually really good for reals like you could do that as a short form comedy it's just like i only want 9-11 family court yep boom all right sir i'm gonna stop you right there you're in the wrong you've probably been drinking bush lights knew it i could smell it through the phone go back to the bar fall asleep in your car are you wearing a tank top is that white one of them white ones yeah take the keys out of the ignition how many wheels in your house how many american flags do you have in your t-shirt that's actually that's actually a weird thought too with the like duis and shit in buffalo like when in the winter if somebody fell asleep in their car and just left it idling just for the heat again we have discretion yeah the keys in the vehicle near the motor vehicle running is different than hey uh we just got a call a blue f-150 just ran through two telephone poles and is now parked in a living room midwinter right dude we're not napping he was cold you were napping well before the accident like we have an issue here we're gonna deal with that so discretion definitely comes into play and there are things that we can do for ride home and everyone's like oh it's definitely alcohol involved because the officer didn't whatever well i didn't do an investigation so i don't know for sure And if I'm going to take away all your rights, handcuff you, and then take you back to the the station i have to be 100 correct if i haven't gone through all the steps to show that you're either impaired or not impaired at the point when i first get there i don't know what's going on until i do the investigation so if at a certain point you're sleeping in a car because it's cold you're homeless am i arresting you for a dwi are you just partying in the passenger seat because that's the only place you have to party i mean there's a lot of different considerations so like whether or not you do the investigation is up to you at that correct i have to look at the circumstances as a whole it's only fair that if you really want to drink a 40 a fucking cold 45 in the passenger seat of your toyota in a parking lot where you shouldn't be then that's okay you're still alive right like this is good do you want to go somewhere warm there's shelters we can take you to i don't have enough gas to get there dude there's been people to show up with boots and gas money for some of these people but they're good human beings they just wanted a colt 45 yeah you said malt liquor right you don't drink that well i mean i try not to try not to yeah yeah you I just do it on occasions where i want to get rowdy so there's a lot of discretion involved with what we do and you know the oversight on that is it's it's on us man i have to answer for it i let the guy go and he gets into an accident that's on me that's the crazy stuff to me like i do not envy and i've told rich multiple times just doing the drill sergeant stuff and knowing the social media and the attacks he'll get and then policing at the same time and then oh look what he's done on social media and how they can work that against him or panicking and then like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know him as the bad guy even in like the buffalo school situation it was immediately like oh well this cop this but i think you do it just has a different name you guys put yourselves out there every day to tell the truth right nobody really likes the truth truth comes with accountability and ass pain well when you do that people like way you hurt my emotions well you they're facts i really don't care about your feeling i do care about your feelings but yeah we talked about it's a secondary priority correct yeah i'm dealing with this factual situation that needs to be solved logically your feelings can come in next that's really neat that you interpreted something from whatever you know your gut you know but when we deal with the facts when we move on you guys are out here talking the truth rich is a victim of this and people just slander you sideways and then you're always defending yourself from behind yeah i get it yeah do you know a little about that would you like to tell us been told a time or two time that there's one thing i made this joke before i ran for office the first time i said uh i cannot wait to find all i find out all these cool and new interesting facts about myself that i didn't know and i'll be damned and it is wild watching from even from my side it's like i know my friends i've been around them for almost a decade at this so you know that he's a nazi you still hang out exactly friends what tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save and that's what's crazy you get to see this you get to see on reddit or the manipulation of stories i'm like holy so this is what everyone's talking about and it's like openly now saying like i'm running against a white supremacist and i'm just reading this on my couch i'm like dude you're like olive not even close yeah skin yeah like brandon's been outside you're a mexican right now okay that's all from this morning i get brown quick ice was eyeing them up on the corner yeah i got arrested these people think that brandon's just like in the bathroom every morning bleaching his skin with a scrub brush like get the brown off me get it off i don't like the way this looks oh yeah i hate how i glisten in the sun crazy you're gonna see that and then you get to see uh especially you think you know how like majority people like oh the media you have the side it's like media doesn't manipulate anything and then it's like oh maybe a little but they're not gonna be that bad they won't lie and then to that point where you're like holy like they will if they hate you they're going to actively spend not thousands millions of dollars well with media i think it's two things specifically like modern media when we're talking about like newspapers which like pretty much everything's online now like articles things like that um reporting in 2026 i think it's it's two things one uh there is an innate leftist bias in most reporters like obviously you got like your right wing outlets daily wire fox news you know stuff like that it's like it's not 100 but your standard like whatever your town newspaper is likely it's going to lean left yeah right especially if the bigger the city the more guaranteed it is uh but the other thing that i think comes in a bigger part of this is the way that it's structured now if you're talking about like internet grifters right oh they'll do anything for clicks all of that applies to to reporting and in media now too absolutely if they if they run a headlines like man does absolutely nothing wrong like okay nobody's gonna click on that but if they can find the most inflammatory way to put it uh they can they they'll they'll try to do whatever they can and then the headline will always be sensationalized and then they'll if they're a good reporter at least attempt to add the nuance in the actual article that 85 percent of people don't read all they're trying to do is get their click they're trying to get you to click so that it populates with ads and that shitty subaru commercial that plays before you can watch what you actually want to see and that's how they make their money that's how they pay the bills that's how they pay for their big building and so like that's what's wrong with modern reporting and you have well and you have to you the viewer are part of the problem i don't think a lot of people take that into account thank you for coming to my ted talk by the way sorry well when you're scrolling through if you have two images that pop it's like cop saves autistic child cop beats the out of autistic child almost 90 percent of people are going to go yeah yeah that kid do to get beat right exactly like what was he wearing right god you know was he stimming like really aggressively yeah legitimately though that's that's what they found is that like for that yeah oh you don't get inside what are you doing oh yeah you casting spells he's a crypt wizard they uh but well sorry i just got a text from one of my guys like hey i'm coming by to grab some stuff from the shed uh if you shoot me aim for the head a proper friend brandon known for dick shots he wants you to stick around and know what you're doing you didn't tell me brother you're now dickless yeah that teaches that in uh active shooter training public balls oh yeah oh dude we call it pelvic girdle but pelvic bowl too yep yeah i mean you can't put a tourniquet on a tank yo i want to see the math behind that you put quick lot oh you could stuff the out of quick oh wrong hole imagine oh my god you're still bleeding out half dying you're like why is this guy got his fingers in my ass trying to figure this out oh no oh no he lies over here faking getting shot in the tank in heaven you're like i'm gay now he's like no you're the opposite of gay that thing's sealed up forever yeah your uh your coroner is just like this is the most constipated corpse i've ever been handed saint peace just like this is weird you get up there yeah you just gotta put in one of those like he tells you the polar routers yeah you know that you get like to like pull your wife's hair out of the drain you're just gonna stick it in there before the quick clot sets i just i love the implication is that like you arrive in heaven in whatever shape you were when you died so there's like dudes running around looking like the what t-1000 with like chunks and gone like that oh that's what happened you were in iraq son sorry who was yeah you mean i'm not anymore thank god funny you can talk to them yourself i got home before everybody else football is back football is back football is back football is back football is back and prize picks is bringing back their best offer yet new users who sign up will get 150 in their lineups if you win your first five dollar lineup i don't know what that means and now price picks is available nationwide no more restrictions because everyone and everything is on prize picks darnell get over here you're gonna be part of this ad he likes football and 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first half that would have saved you money on aj brown and sam darnold meaning that money lost we money had prize picks also has an improved search functionality and live box scores to track your picks without leaving the app the prize pick app is better than ever download the app today and use code unsub to get 150 instantly in lineups if you win your first five dollar lineup prize picks run the game all three of you guys were in iraq right yeah yeah yeah yeah the different experiences yeah we talked about a little bit yeah yeah you were hardcore shenanigans you were medium shenanigans i just i just got roadside bombs like i didn't yeah that's more terrifying but those Like, I think literally the other day we talked about that. The scariest thing to me was that IEDs, when you're doing checkpoints, Chris probably feels the same because you don't know. It's just a vehicle pulling up, and you're like, search the vehicle. Search the vehicle. And you're like, oh, I don't want to. 200 meters away, I'd like to. That'd be cool. With binos, you're like, yep, we got him. But walk through the vehicle. Okay, you're good. Thankfully, we rarely had to do checkpoints. Search it with a Mark 19 from 100 yards away. You might want more. Clear, clear, clear, clear, clear. Nobody's coming to the checkpoint anymore. We're crazy. This is down. Man, this road is dead. Literally corpses everywhere, burning in cars. Nice job, Private. I saved America. You sure did, bud. Zero casualties at my gate in the last three months. Ish. American. 19-year-old behind a Mark 19. Just like thumping random taxi cabs. America. Fuck you. We joke. Real American heroes. But you know what happened? When we were overseas, there was a certain unit that had a rocasson for a symbol, and they were shooting sheep. And as civil affairs, we had to answer that. People were like, why are you killing my sheep? I'm like, oh, it's 50 bucks, okay? Like, really sorry about the target practice. Here's your money. They were pretty offended by it. They're like, that's our food. I'm like, eh. You know, I don't fuck my food, but whatever. Seasoning. From the inside? Oh, yeah, you do that to turkeys, too. It's like a beard chicken. I don't fuck my turkeys, but yeah. I was going to say, I'm not coming to your place for Thanksgiving, are we, though, guys? It's moist and delectable. Why is it so salty? Fuck. All right. All right. That's enough of banging chickens and turkeys. Caveat. Joe does not make love to animals anymore. But in true fashion, the military has gotten in trouble for shooting animals. Right. And it is generally Midwestern. I mean, there's a lot of animals that do it that are in the infantry. That tracks. That completely tracks. 11 Bravo, 11 Bang Bang. Yeah, absolutely adds up. Especially earlier in the war when there was a lot less paperwork. Oh, dude. Well, let's talk about investigations. We've all probably been under the microscope at a certain point. 15-6. Why did you shoot at that car? I was in fear for military property and life. Okay. Have a nice day. Take care. Whoa. In the beginning. Okay. And then around the end, it was a little different. It was a little different. Thanks, Obama. Dude, they would just. They would just drop off stuff. Guys went back on 2010, and when they got back from their one-year deployment in that month, it was like, how was it? And I'm like, dude, we got one gunfight. We had to do paperwork. I was like, what? This is crazy. And they're like, yeah, people were driving with their headlights on. And we had to tell them which way we shot. I'm like, what? Because when search, it was pull up. They would just throw AT4s and everything. And then one of our sayings was, oh, hey, guys, remember, AT4s weigh more when they're loaded. So that's how we would initiate. We would initiate ambushes. It was like, which you'd never. Like, full auto or open belt machine gun and AT4s, you do not initiate ambushes with. Great to start an ambush with a. Yeah, exactly. That's why you don't. But. And it would miss. It doesn't matter. It has a psychological effect either way. And you're good. But it's completely different times. That's why even hearing. Oh, but it's insane. I'll be honest. I was never on a mission where somebody. Did something unlawful across the border, even in moral, based on the US side of things. Good call. Me too. Wink? No, no, no. I was just kidding. Don't know. Oh, yeah. Say it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, me either. So if anybody comes out, okay, and says anything, it's the lie. It's all a lie. This is the internet and it's real. So it's a lie. So, but yeah. Can't be charged in criminal court now. That's a nice smile. Press X to doubt. But yeah, so you would actually have to do paperwork, which is fucking. Again. Yeah. Yeah, it blows my mind. I had an infantry ranger captain call me a cowboy because I engaged a target with logic and precision. I was like, no, he's trying. What's that? No, no. What's the caliber of logic? Oh, just 5.56. What caliber of logic? I love it. No, it's great. I love it. I'm going to steal that. Thank you for that. You're welcome. What caliber of logic are you operating with? 22? Get the fuck out of here. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk to you anymore. We're done here. There was a checkpoint. It was all cordoned off, but there was a couple of cars that kept wanting to come past the cones. You don't do that. We've been there for over five years at this point. You know the cones. You don't. You don't go past the cones. Everyone knows the cones. This car made multiple attempts, and I put three rounds into the engine. That's it. Three rounds into the engine. No problem. There's another. So, Brandon, just so you know, like at 100 meters, they do not get within 100 meters of a fucking patrol of anything. Yeah. You do not fuck around with. There's signs on the back of the Humvees. Signs on the back of the Humvees written in squiggle, so they know. Yeah. Oh, it's a convoy? Fucking vehicles are off of that convoy. They're not going to risk anything. You would think they wouldn't, but they do. But whatever. So, I put three rounds into a Kia. I've seen them drive. Yeah, dude. Jumping jacks. They drive that way here, too. Any way they want. I pull them over. I was like, ah, inshallah. I'm like, no, license, dude. Driving in Amman was fucking wild. Oh, yeah. There's like no rules of the road there. It's kind of. It was actually kind of fun. It's a wild list. I thought I was going to die, but it was fine. It's like the Outback Steakhouse. It's like Mad Max. No rules, just right. I'm just like, okay, bud. Do whatever the fuck you want all the time, then, I guess. I guess. Yeah. Not my fucking road. So, I engage the vehicle. No problem. Vehicle drips fluid. It's incapacitated. I've done my job. I killed zero humans. No taking of life. I'm like, no, not bad. There was a truck to the left of me here. Probably more like 1030, not 11 o'clock, but it was over here. It probably fired 1,500 rounds. And they're like, he had a barrel in the back. I'm like, yo, listen, asshole. One, we didn't secure that part of the cordon, so a car just came in. And it's those little white and orange ones that all the Iraqis drive in. I don't even know what model it is. Is it like a taxi? Yeah. But it had a 55-gallon drum. But that's how they get their oil and fuel for the entire month. They would only open up like a fuel station for a whole month. So, this is how they traveled around. They would wait. Dude, oh, my God. I forgot about. You would have a line for gasoline. Yeah. I forgot about that. You would have a. You would have a fucking, like, three-hour wait of traffic just to go get a. To fill up your drum of gasoline. Yeah. I forgot about that shit. So, they would do that. And because we failed to secure that part of the cordon, these dudes engaged with about 1,500 rounds. It was at least 1,000, because it was like three minutes of shooting. I'm like. Oh, yeah. They just. Just watching this happen. I'm like. And just sheer awe, like, should I be shooting, too? What are you shooting at? And I'm just kind of looking like, okay, well, that's over. So, we go into this investigation. It's a couple of E4s from the Midwest that are 11. Bravo that opened up. And they're like, they had a V-Bid. I'm like, well, I mean, that's how they get their fuel. Being civil affairs, like, you get right up on it. Like, hey, dude, this is what this looks like. This is not that. Infantry does not get right up on that. They did not give a shit. Nope. Yeah, they didn't get right up on that. I assure you, I never had that in any of my classes. No, really? It's like, hey, transport fuel. This is normal life right here. This is not a bomb. Yeah. And then it detonates. And you're like, oh, shit. Yeah. You're lucky this time. Sneaky, sneaky. Sneaky. Yeah. Nobody got in trouble, and nobody died. So we loosed 1,000 rounds in Iraq. Good God. And I don't know where they went. How did you guys meet? What do you mean? Oh, Grindr. Grindr, yeah, mostly. Backpage. Craigslist? Frontpages? Frontpages? Yeah. How did you guys meet, more or less? And how did you beat his guts up? That's what I want to know. Grindr. Grindr. Backpages. It's the exact same joke. It was actually something Far Gay or it was SHOT Show. Yeah. Oh, okay. He joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices. 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. And that's just pregame. He knows teamwork, and BJ's knows savings. This is your home, Coach. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at BJs.com slash Mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. You like guns? I love guns. Was it the first time at SHOT Show or was it that one? I think it was that thing in Charlotte, actually. That's what I think with that range. The train shot thing? Train shot. Oh, that ride where like, you know, there were good people on both sides? That's Charlottesville. My bad. Sorry. Same place. That's with Charlotte. The internet says it's the same song. God, that was 2017? It had to be. Yeah, I think it was 17. 2017. Shit. That was a long time ago. That was train shot years ago. Time flies, man. Good God. I did more gun content at that time. Yeah. Don't do that much anymore. Yeah. You do. Oh, you just had real video. I dabble. You do gun stuff? A little. Oh, that's cool. How's your video doing? Which one? The one you just dropped. The belt fed, like the FRT video? No, didn't you do your Darwin's? Oh, Darwin. That comes out tomorrow. Oh, okay. Yeah. It came out on Pepperbox already. I liked it. I thought it was one of the best ones we've done. It's fun. Pepperbox gets the early release? Yes, they do. Wow. At Pepperbox.tv. There's a two-week free trial. I think it's two weeks, right? Yes, it's 14 days. 14-day free trial? Sign up now. Watch Brandon's video because it's completely different than the YouTube cut. Which means it's better. Chunky. It's chunky. It's very chunky. Yeah, there's a couple in that one. What was the worst one? The mortar one. The guy who's hanging mortars doesn't remove his hand. Well, he removes his hand, but he didn't remove his hand. Nope. I don't know. I saw that one, yeah. You know how you drop a mortar? Watered down a tube? Yep. And then. Yeah. well let's imagine that you didn't do the second half and just went oh magic poof gone what was his reaction oh my hand's gone i put it on ice milk it was it was like fingies fingies gone yeah it was mush it was like you ever get like a paper towel wet and then fold it up and then try to take it apart yeah well that's the one thing mortars have in common no matter what type it is get the fuck out of the way the front of it once the the rounds hung when the people around him like are when it happens are like look at him like yo what'd you do what the yeah horrible that's the hole that rounds come out of yeah he was he stood there like just where'd it go surprise yeah just imagine that thought though like the first thought you have when something like that happens a bad day guy was you know i'll swear mentally whatever the fuck and then just looking down at your hand just like like like fingers are just a jumbled mess of the ones that are still there i've been shocked yeah the u.s army no that's four hours of powerpoint we gotta watch now this this just got more boring yeah move your hands faster from his fucking of the his squad leader and platoon sergeant are just like as to my understanding they emphasize the shit out of that more oh yeah a lot i because of this like yeah thank god for the internet for really teaching us some life lessons here i've never served as a like mortarman or anything and i can tell you it's i think all of us know it's like this and then like yeah we're out of the way yeah yeah just like your hands should be out of the way by the time the mortar is released sort of thing yeah you're like clearing covering your ears or just want to feel it to make sure it came out well you the point of you going down is to is to one if it explodes in the tube you're like all right i'm kind of covering my head even though which thought it's just you're fucked either way it's more of get your hands away so then you know where your hands are at i put them down my head is down away from the tube and my hands are right by my head i can see my hands guess what they're not up here where the tube is that guy can see his hands too yeah so people a couple hundred yards away could you imagine that's a hell of a police call yeah you're like driving down range road the mortars are going over you and all of a sudden there's a thumb and a ring and you're just like what is that's not good that's actually kind of what happened when i got blown up with this give me a side god fingers come down oh what the fuck it's a wedding oh i should marry her i should marry that stripper oh wait bomb when i when i get hit with a car bomb there's two guys in the car and thank you for your service you're welcome i don't have uh but that's because you know i'm good at dodging bullets yeah and people meet but uh he they detonated they detonated and uh i got i got blown back in my in my turret and i fell down the back of the turret and then i stood up and i scanned my sector and then i started looking around because like i was seeing things like move like quickly out of my vision like and i look over there's nothing there and then i'd scan my sector and there's pieces there's chunks of the dude that the two dudes that have blown themselves up falling around us we had a big hairy chunk it looked like a butt cheek you know like i was like oh my god i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die i'm gonna die arab dudes are super hairy butts it looked like a chunk of butt charred charred butt cheek why does he know that well the meat was kind of charred around the edges but it was still like brown skin and black hair and it was thick puby hair you know like leg hair could have been a beard no no no it was definitely that's a hot piece of ass the smell is barbecue it was a while i didn't i don't remember the smell they did a lot of they put they made the bomb wrong if it was it was if it was a real car bomb i would probably be i might be here i'll probably be here i'd probably be more fucked up it was a real bomb it just wasn't a good one correct they didn't have a lot of room for improvement like they had more propane in it the fireball was huge the fireball was like up until they built a movie yeah they built they basically built a movie bomb and shark themselves yeah you got bombed by michael bay michael bay will love this make sure you record it they'll hire us next time what was your recipe you know why we love cash app finn put your face right here this is how we pay him through cash app yard service business opportunities or bills cash app is what's for you you know why it's easy it's easy it's you just you just scan the qr code and then you you hit the number you need to send it them to pay them love cash app also is your debit card boring no one wants that we want exciting ones well with cash app that's a possibility if you weren't up to speed already cash app is way more than just a safe way to send and receive money with the 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visit cash app slash legal slash podcast for full description do it yeah i always just uh the one s guy he had ball bearing vest clacked himself off aimed all the bar bearings into the back distraction knotted up so nothing happened like zero boom well yeah we just we looked around they're like you guys go like yeah i think i'm going like he's not yeah and then i was like oh it smells like barbecue that's all i remember i remember burning your hair yeah yeah i didn't know story you heard about that story that random story that we heard about getting onto a military post after having a night out yeah the mps look at you and they're like yeah there's no way i'm doing the paperwork on this get the out of here literally told us to leave i told the people that i know that told me the story that told us them to leave i'm getting confused here there's a lot of people there's a lot of people which the uh the story we were talking about earlier from the the policing side yeah talking about uh picking up a chick oh dad that's an after show no that's probably not even on camera thing really yeah i thought that's public record it's a story but you know it hits close to home for him it hits close to home we know you did it involved you did uh well yes no god no one watches this show nobody watches this show no that's nothing come on like i said the photo was impressive that's not joe it's most certainly it's black it's not mine it's huge not mine we also know so like there's like two different reasons it wasn't me um it wasn't affected it's not his yeah thank you there could have been an after shot or before shot i don't know there was a shot yeah well somebody a couple of them apparently but how did you guys meet we still have not found that out oh oh yeah do we dance around that yeah i know we just kind of move around every time we just all said grinder and moved on yeah yeah well that seems really accepted the most reasonable answer oh we did discuss it okay okay no honestly we met in the military yeah uh 2005-ish uh we were in the same unit but the we didn't like were you rank was high in 2005. you're a specialist i was four i was a pv2 yeah yeah i was an e4 and we're on the range we're watching the navy some of these navy guys can't really shoot and they don't have a lot of experience with weapons and there was this uh thick female not fat she was definitely fat but anyways trying to be polite here she was shooting tracer rounds out of her air well m4 at the time and she's like oh man i didn't know we had laser guns i'm like are you are you oh my god navy officer oh my god i forgot about we're shooting we're trying to mobilize and we we need the range oh my god the navy's up here shooting tracer rounds good god and she thought they were lasers but here's rich playing the guitar rich is playing a guitar on the range in the military and i'm like the sergeant major's gonna kill this kid i'm gonna murder him our major's like oh that's a really good job man that's really good music you're really talented rich brought his guitar to the range yeah i'm like hold off and he was just so outside of regulations of on all of this and he's playing the guitar and everyone's just having a good time and sorry manager like you're a really cool dude rich is not dead not a cool dude rich is surviving through life with a charisma build yeah that's such a major wanted me to date his daughter i'm not even no i was gonna i was gonna say he's good so he was a nice sergeant major davis was a cool guy he's nice to me at least i mean i was a pb2 so i didn't know i just knew he was sergeant major he's nice to me you brought a gun or a guitar to a range i knew that i was going to be bored overseas because everybody was saying that you know they didn't have a single place to stay oh Most of our guys were in OIF 1 and 2, and then we were coming over in 2006 to 7. So all of their stories were, you're going to be bored on base, or you're going to be bored in a truck. And I was like, fuck it, I'll bring a guitar. There's always a guy that has a guitar in combat. Fuck it, I'll be that guy. So I brought it, and I think I brought it to the range one day because I knew it was going to be a long day sitting on my ass. I'm going to qualify. Waiting for the Navy. The Navy's not. And I don't remember playing my guitar on the range, but I do remember the female naval officer being like, oh, my God, we got lasers. And it became a motivational saying in the unit because, like, what was his name? Austin Powers was in it. Fire the lasers! So we would constantly belittle her in front of her and behind her back and be like, fire the lasers! And also, you got fucking laser beams, man. Like, every time. There was an. Opportunity. Like, fricking laser beams. Just bullying the shit out of some 18-year-old girl from Kansas. No, she's like a 26-year-old master's degree. Yeah, she had some rank. Never mind. I don't feel bad anymore. Yeah, my college. J.A. College. 03 in the Navy. Dude, and we're Army, so we're walking around, and we're seeing all these Navy dudes with, like, little wings and shit on their chest. I'm like, is that a colonel from way over there? I saluted a fucking B-1 in the Navy. Do I start saluting a petty anything? Like, what the fuck is going on here? Pep the Navy. Get away from us. You know what I mean? Like, we didn't even know what to do with them. I'm so. Not really F the Navy. Thank you for your service. I've forgotten all these fucking stories. So, we had Navy personnel attached to us, obviously. Sure did. And he's right. They would, the Ns, or not the Ns, but the E-1s in the Navy have, like, an upside-down private rank, but there's a crow on top. From a distance, I'm a fucking private. It just looks like this dude's got a bird on his tits. So, I go, that's a colonel. I fucking walk in with my good afternoon shirt, and before I can fucking correct myself, he's fucking. He's fucking laughing at me and salutes me back, and I'm like, that dude's, like, fucking 19. How is a colonel? Oh, fuck, it's the Navy. And I saluted an E-1 in the Navy. I saluted a guy that I outranked. An enlisted man. Yeah. Oh, geez. They don't tell you about that with joint operations. They don't really. I mean, you know the rank structure, but when you see it from a distance, you're like, shit, I'm on a post right now. And you're terrified as a private. You're like, I can't fuck this up. Oh, yeah. Right? You're going to dress down a colonel? You're not going to salute him? No. Fuck it. Privates get it. Hey. Everybody gets one. We also had a full bird colonel attached to us. Is this Colonel Bill? I forget his last name. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about the Navy colonel. The Navy captain. Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices, 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. Home of the Save. Open soon. Limited time offer. New members only. BJ's. Home of the Save. Wasn't it Mason? No, no, no. Mason was our brigade colonel in the Army, and he was in charge of our brigade. But the PRT, the Provincial Reconstruction Team, had a Navy captain, which is the same rank as a full bird colonel in the Army. His name was Captain Bob or something like that. It doesn't matter. In CA, you just have a first name. Either way, we had colonels around, and one of them was in the Navy. So, yeah, I was confused. I was a young man making mistakes. Dude, you saluted a nobody. I did. That's awesome. It's not the first time. No, it won't be the last time, and you're better to err on the side of caution than not to salute a colonel. Sometimes it's just fun to salute strangers. Oh. I knew that was coming, dude. Just. Where's your medal? That's the one. The one thing that our audience is really good at, by the way, is knowing when to let a joke die. Right there. It's right there. The SOCOM patch? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does Rich ever let anything go? It was about to. We discussed it. It was like on the verge of dying. Some Mark 19 rounds? Vehicle's cool. Clear. Clear. Oh, man. Yeah, it was about to die, and then I fucking, well, I zapped that shit with Frankenstein energy, and that thing popped back to life. And then we did the live tour. Yeah, the Forced Valor tour. Yes, it was. Yeah. Damn. And we started something brand new, and it's beautiful, and we love it. It is beautiful. Something Brandon knew. Brandon knew. So when you guys met, okay, so then you were just like, okay, who's fuckhead? He's playing the guitar. To be honest, and this is not gay. Okay. Well, maybe a little bit. Okay. Whoa. That's a real touch. Let's save it for the after show, fellas. Bubbling of activity below the staple. I'm looking at this kid. I'm like, what is he doing? He's just like breaking all the rules. I was like, I love this. I love it. I love pushing to the edge of not like quite breaking all the rules, but maybe bypassing him a little bit. And I'm watching him kind of break all the norms in the military. I'm like, I really like this. This guy is thinking outside the box. He's doing different shit. I'm like. Breaking the rules is just, oh, it's outside the box. Yeah. That guy's a real. The box is the list of rules. And we're outside of them. Especially with the military. It is the most. I can't. I can't. It's a very rigid box. This guy won't let rules stop him. I should call her. I should call her. Yeah. We were in the alpha company for a little bit together. And then I got traded. It was like a. But in general. I'm watching a bunch of lazy dudes run around, not getting the job done, not being intuitive, not problem solving. Just. Just. Fucking existing in the military. Just. Just being nothing. We're mobilizing. We have a job to do. The job is to come home. Right. And I'm watching Rich. Just kind of take care of business and lead from the front. I'm like, oh, I'm a good kid. That's the only kid I want to associate with. And being nine years his senior. I'm like, yeah, I think I know what I'm talking about. I've seen some shitheads. This wasn't one of them. And the fact that he could get. In a good way. A shithead in a good way. He's a hard worker. If I think outside the box, I mean, break the rules. And by break the rules, I mean, do illegal activity and not get caught. But here's the thing, though. Every time. I like this guy. Yeah. I like the cut of your jib, sailor. So you're like Tosuke. I don't know. You went Stallone. Okay. I did. Yeah. You did rule. Colonel. That's how we did it in the old days. But yeah, that was kind of it. And then we started hanging out. We deployed. And then, yeah, that's kind of where we're at now. Well, how did you. You're a police officer. Like, how did that all work out? Me being a police officer? I told everybody else to be police officers. I was like, guys. This is civil service. We can double dip in our military time. We can get credit for this and that. We'll have two pensions. Is one pension good? Because some pensions are good. More pensions are better. We could, like, duplicate processes and not waste time. So the military time that I already served and gave up all this for, I can now, like, for a few thousand dollars, buy all that back and apply it to my civil service career. And the shit, the stuff that we did. I'm sorry. I've been swearing a lot on your podcast. Oh, no. Oh, no. Watch your fucking language, dude. Yeah. Thank you. I was like, I was kind of looking at this. Like, we think outside the box and we're asked to do kind of like austere stuff. Like, we have to go sideways, get into stuff and create solutions for things that we've never been trained to do. There's no one specific scenario. And you're like, this is how you handle it. This is the outcome. And this is what's going on. It doesn't happen. So in policing, it's kind of the same thing. I'm like, wait, we get to double down on our time and we get paid to do this. And we're helping people. Yeah. We're helping people on their worst day, whether they like it or not. I'm mitigating a response of something negative. And people don't get that. You're having a bad day beating up Brandon's guts, right? Even though you're having a domestic. We're going back to this. I can't believe that you said that. Such a disturbing image. I can't believe that it happened. It's a dangerous sentence to say in the day and age of AI. Why? Why would you say that? Why would you even? No, no, no. No, no, no. No, I just, as soon as it came out of Eli's mouth, it was like that bit from Lord of the Rings where the dude lets the arrow go. It's like, well, here. Yeah. We were mildly a victim of AI this morning. Weren't we? It's true. A little bit, but it's very entertaining. Uh, but anyways, back to the story that the civil affairs role that we had in the military plays very well into the policing role in the civilian world. If our civilian military operations in that country are to mitigate problems. Well, we're just doing that in a different level with under a different set of rules, way less rules overseas, right? ROE was like two things, three things for a little bit of paperwork here, micromanage, and everybody's got an opinion about my job that I did not expect. I did not expect to be under the microscope 24/7 judged by everybody. And then having to explain to my boss that I don't know, I did the right thing. I really helped him out. You helped him out. When, when you were strained his feet, when you toss him into the patrol car. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I prevented him from killing somebody. I prevented him from making his life worse. I helped him. Well, are you, did you do that before the age? information to the degree it is because when you first start and that's watching that transition into like the worst job you guys like police weren't frowned upon I was still like a noble job more noble and then you got to see like 20 I say 2015 it started getting worse and worse yeah my when Michael Brown occurred it was like the 2018-17 was that really like the kickoff of like the kickoff was modern shoot Michael Brown it was this yeah it was a solid pivotal point in which everybody was now just this is we hate cops we don't like cops they're all doing bad Michael Brown seventh grade photo out there you're like that was I was the one in Missouri right she's so many shit happened in Missouri I think it was Missouri. Because I think that was one I was there. It was like outside of Ferguson, Missouri. Thank you. Because I was there during the riots because I was there for something unrelated. It was in like St. Louis. And then we went through St. Charles and like Ferguson's in between those. Did you start the riots? No, I was just there for part of it. Oh, who did you work for? This guy. This is wild, right? I got a Patriot back over here. Hey, can you go over here and just hang out? And then maybe we'll put you in politics later. This is a Patriot front I went back to, I guess. And we're like, did you just call me? Never mind. Pause. We've got another thing. Look. Boom, Fabletics. I use Fabletics also because it's super comfortable. And yeah, I go through. I sweat a lot during boxing because we don't have AC. Because the boxing gym is an old school Mexican style. No AC, just. So I need a lot of clothes. I like a high quality feel. So without spending a whole bunch of money. I'm sure that I speak for a lot of people with that. That's where Fabletics knocks it out of the park. Now, a lot of the times, if you are spending less money on something, it usually means it's going to fall apart fast. Not the case. And even if you are not looking for gym attire, they have everything else. You can get some nice t-shirts or perhaps a nice pair of shorts that are comfortable and stretchy. Oh, seriously, you wear clothes like 98% of your life. Make sure they're comfortable. It's no different than a bed. And also they're dropping new styles each and every month. So you get that clean look. So for one month, if there's nothing that is grabbing your attention, just wait. Even better. You get 70 to 80% off your first order as a new VIP. You can skip or cancel at any time. They have a flexible membership with no long-term commitment. I know, I know some people that suffer from that. Shop now at fabletics.com/unsubscribe. To get 70 to 80% off everything. When you sign up as a new VIP, take a quick style quiz and be sure to select unsub. This is a limited time offer. So don't wait fabletics.com/unsubscribe. The, uh, but no, while I was there, it was funny. Cause there was some, uh, there was some guys that like, had just gotten back from, uh, from like Iraq and shit like that, Iraq, Afghanistan. And one of them had said that his body was there doing like pulling security on top of a building. He's like, bro out here. Like it, it reminds me. Like it's, it reminds me of fucking Iraq. And he told me, he's like, dude, it's like, come the fuck on. He's like, no way, no way. Or whatever. He's like, I did, I did security on a rooftop one night. It was like fucking Iraq. Damn. In the United States. That's wild. Yeah. What was the big one after that? Cause I thought there was one between that and, uh, and, um, cause it George Floyd, George Floyd, there's a couple in between them. And they've tried to turn them into things. The big ones that I remember are the one that wasn't even police related. It was the kid. In Florida and the security guy that shot him. Trayvon, George Zimmerman, then you had Michael Brown. Yeah. Well, you have Brianna Taylor was post George Floyd too. If I'm not mistaken. Oh, that was paramedic on the warrant. That was one of my favorite bits of like modern sensational politics. Just being fucking retarded stupid is, uh, that you had, um, all those people that gathered around that restaurant that were harassing the shit out of Senator Rand, Paul and his wife, Republicans, you did say her name, say her name. For context, Senator Rand, Paul at this point had sponsored, and actually I think he authored a bill. He authored it. Called the Brianna Taylor act. Yeah. Yeah. He was the guy and they were trying to fucking harass him. Say her name. He's like, I'm the guy pushing it. Retard. That's insane. Quiet like that. No, he was, he was pushing his security. He was like, they don't know that I'm the one that's doing the thing. Which is wild. Yeah. So there was Brianna Taylor or, well, that was before. What was Eric Garner? Cause that was, that was like a no knock. That had like. No, it was a right address. No. It's just, she was defending him and like somehow stood in front. He was in like the back. Oh, so I don't know. They shot through a wall. I thought. Oh, I don't know the story then. Jesus Christ. I'm going to paint you a picture of exactly what occurred. Brianna Taylor's boyfriend, uh, the one that was in the warrant that shot at police officers is a warrant for him. So the officers went to go execute the warrant for that guy, right? Brianna was there. That guy is a drug dealer. He's a bad dude. Right? Brianna is aware that he's a drug dealer and a bad dude because that's how he gets his money. He was doing it for a long time. Brianna was on the warrant. Hey, if this person, the target and Brianna Taylor, secondary target are, are part of the warrant for search and seizure, right? So they enter the premises. Boyfriend is a psycho, opens up with an AK on the coppers and shoot them through the wall. And then they opened fire and shoot it through the door. One of the doors. I think it was the bedroom door. They were screaming like police, right? So they, they blind fired back in the direction they were getting around. Yeah. They're getting shot at. So they shot through the door and they ended up shooting Brianna and the guy. And I think the guy lived. I think so. Yeah. But anyway, the big narrative is they did a no knock warrant. Let me, this is the difference between a knock warrant and a no knock warrant. And I'm not exaggerating. Police open the door. Warrant. You ready for this? Oh, that that's, that's a knock warrant. Ready for this? Boom. Police. Search. Warrant. That boom was me kicking the door open. Yep. Immediately upon entrance into a domicile, you scream and echo. Everybody does in the stack police search warrant, police search warrant. It's not just one guy. It's like every single dude. Right. It's not somebody sneaking into your house. Yeah. So like a no knock warrant, which is where I disagree with Rand Paul is not like this horrible breach of your fourth amendment rights. It's the intent of a no knock warrant is to get into the property quickly without raising suspicion. And I think, well, a lot of, I think where the issue is on no knock warrants is that not that it's, it's a tool that shouldn't be in the arsenal necessarily, but that it might be overused. I think that's where they have concern. Or it's the, it's like, I know that, um, the streamer that just got, um, swatted swatted Cody. Yeah. Right. Well, it was a, a no knock open and he had already called the police a day or two before. And he's like, Hey, I like, I'm already getting threats of, um, yeah. Being swatted on my stream. We still have to show up because, well, but it turned into you like, okay, okay. We're, we're making a note. Then two days later it happens. They do a no knock, kick it open. He doesn't know. He just, it's in the middle of night, like midnight. He just grabs a gun and then they shoot and he gets shot a few times, paralyzed from the waist down. When the did this happen? Literally a few weeks ago, I think I saw that one. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of those things where it's like, dude, I fucking put that person who swatted, I'm trying to fucking execute them. That's my whole thing is like, I'm, I'm wanting to put forward legislation that, cause I feel like we need, uh, two things for one, uh, we need federal allocation of resources through the FBI because there's a lot of small town departments or just departments that aren't the people at the helm don't know what the fuck they're doing. So you talk about swatting, they're like, I don't know, fuck it. We just sent it up the chain. We don't know putting federal resources into finding these people and prosecuting them as a, the second part, federal crime, the federal crime with federal time. Well, most of the time. Most of the time it's out, it's like somebody from like, I don't know, California swatting somebody in Texas. Right. It's already going across state lines. Why not make it a federal offense? Exactly. I'm very smart. Exactly. My point. Oh yeah. That's it. Cause it, it really should be a federal crime and it should come with the, the, the maximum sentence for, uh, attempted murder. Cause that's what you try to do. Not only it's actually, I, in my opinion, I think it's worse than attempted murder because an attempted murder, you tried to kill somebody or not said, yeah, in this case, not only are you trying to kill somebody. You know, you're sending 20 fucking armed guys to their house under false pretenses to where they might be shot and that's attempted murder. But now you're putting 20 law enforcement lives on the line as well. Guys who are just doing their job, responding to something that they think is a real threat. And so now like there's multiple people that you're putting in harm's way cause you want to be a dickhead on the internet. Yep. Kill them. Said that. This is the article right here. Yeah. This was a month ago and it, but they can't just call a swat on you. That's not how it works. Nothing. Yeah. That's the dispatcher was giving that. So he's like, Hey, yeah. So he was trying, he was proactive. He's like, Hey, just so you know, this is what's happening. Can you annotate this? So he did the right thing, but like you can't go and call 911 and talk to dispatcher. You can't just go talk to dispatcher. You've got to go to the police department. You've got to call the police department and talk to an officer, a detective, a shift supervisor, a chief of police. Yeah. Like, can you put it on my file? Yeah. Yeah. So he's like, I'm going to call the police department. I'm going to call the police department. one of our counties i think had a shitload of election officials that was arrested right after for election fraud really it's happening it's just not advertised i think it was like 12 people it was like 12 elected or election officials there was um one county maybe it was the same one it was small you had zero votes and tony had like a thousand and we're like that's statistical impossibility there was a couple instances it was i think it was that county that's what i'm saying yeah okay and it was like hmm oh wait oh brandon's got three now i suppose oh okay yeah that one was like oh we're having power outages i'm like and i see how this is right on both counts right like cops are responding to like a real call yeah and then i think someone's breaking in my house i'm gonna defend myself yeah oh well i wasn't sure oh can you scoot that way just this much i can already tell see there you go yeah you'll be that's your tits now yeah yeah i recognize that you have but it's you read that and you're like dang that's a hard yeah we're reading this with the swatting call yeah and when you just read just the two lines the police respond to a swatting call mendez right is it menendez yeah not menendez jesus the brothers two different guys anyways melinda he responds going oh i think somebody's breaking into my house which is reasonable if you're breaking my window in the middle of the night with a shovel both sides are right yeah in that moment in the right that's where the person with the swatting whoever initiated that needs to go to jail i love accountability i'm sick that we ran away from it and then we don't address it anymore you were talking about small town policing or different towns and training yeah there's a lot of towns that have good training but it's lagging it is so far behind we have to call the secret service and go hey can you check out credit cards but still i mean you run these in 2026 there's so many cops who don't know what a swatting is yeah they they were never trained never told seriously but you know what's also interesting if we and this is where standards come in we hire people that have been in the military that have been through something that go to be a police officer that have life experiences we're going to swatting blah blah blah okay all right cool i'm super excited but i'm not mad at anybody my heart rate's not up but i'm not mad at anybody my heart rate's not up we have to go there and we have to handle this highly emotional situation so control our own emotions respond logically and tactically to a situation like a swat response but not a swatting not exactly a swat response like i i don't want to go in with a bear cat and you know brush a beam through the window throw a phone in there and try to talk to somebody what i mean is like not knowingly like not it's not a swatting correct like okay we're not flashbanging the house like we have to respond and go wait this doesn't happen in our town we get 45 000 calls a year we've never had 14 dudes with an ak in our town we've never had 14 dudes with an ak in our town we've never been in a living room like that's just not real that's not happening we know our people in a small town we you and i had our own fake police incident the one you called me up about i don't know if you can talk about it oh yeah uh can we keep it vague yeah let's keep it vague but yeah yeah i had a what i thought was a very actionable threat uh against a school and you know that's stuff that you know i take seriously because there's there's people that will talk shit and do all sorts of dumb stuff and like whatever it's internet i had one that like really like put up the alarm bells and then clicked on the profile and it was from buffalo new york yep and like it had it in the profile i was like hmm so we reported to the we reported it to the feds and then we reported it to um well i i me i texted or i called rich i'm like hey man this was like last week yeah i'm like oh what the wish i had something better to to talk to you about but unfortunately i kind of want to bring this to your attention because it's your town and um you know somebody that was like putting out what it was like a manifesto with an actionable threat yeah like harming innocent life no shit so i was it was to the point where i'm like this doesn't seem like internet bullshit whatever and then your guys came back and said yeah so funny even before that we're talking on the phone i was going to go in the shower so the entire time brandon's on speakerphone and i'm completely naked in my bathroom just like walking around my stuff this is why you always start out a phone call asking what they're wearing yeah it's true you have to it's not a creepy thing you just want to make sure that you're not i am not a pervert on the other line are you wearing a wire prove it which i am why aren't you facetiming so i'm walking around i'm walking around and that's what i want to know dude really super serious conversation um nice dick uh yeah if only if only it was facetime i was ready i'm showering i know you're there rich's ended call yeah i'm walking around dude in the bathroom and he's just like hey kind of serious this i go hmm send me what you've got let me look at it because not to shit on you but like there's often times where people get excited about things that they think are big events that the police need to know about and for those of us experience in that field you know we can kind of see where the red flags are for like the police and the police need to know about things that they need to know about because we're not used to this you're gonna be like okay this is a big deal for you because you're not used to this this is a lesser of a deal but the things that he sent me were legitimate and so okay i was wondering because if were there things in it that like kind of tipped you off like yeah we should probably handle this or or this is obviously fake one of the things that tipped me off that it might be fake was that i'm going to do this several months from now instead of immediate if you've got a plan to do something and it's especially if it's like a a significant action that this person was claiming you're not going to walk away from sort of you're not going to give people months to get ready for it it's going to be this is it it's happening now goodbye here was my here was my counter to that in my mind because i thought about that too it was buried in a video that i did like four years ago yeah and i was like hmm i wonder if they're just leaving like a paper trail there like in something that's a find it later after the fact plausible plausible yeah and either way like there weren't enough red flags in this thing where i was like brandon what an idiot you know and so i looked at it i go all right the thing that he's waiting for this thing to happen that he's planning is going to be like in a couple months i'm like all right that's that's weird that usually doesn't happen but there's enough information going on here where this is this should be taken as a the next threat and also just it's not that hard to do your job as a cop and call somebody whose specific job is to look into those things and like and the pros of cons of doing nothing yeah let me just do nothing and see if it figures oh god that that's just a problem in policing he was on our radar yeah yeah yeah thank you thanks that's that dna thing though just that dna case that's happening right now with the lady would just not do shit she just wouldn't submit dna oh yeah i saw that and she got like yeah i'm guilty he's been doing it for 30 years and they're there and this is like people went to prison that it's a whole last thing and they're like five years or something stupid or the the um the dispatcher that was just hanging up on people oh the 9-1-1 one yeah that's terrible i didn't feel like that it was too much but anyway sir our thing i i called our i called a significant person in the buffalo police department that's high ranking well above me and i said have an issue this is what it is and that person gave me some guidance which i was going to do also but it's kind of like simultaneously i'm going to let one of the big heads of the department know and i'm also going to let this other unit know who's like a threat management unit and uh so i gave them all the information they were like yeah actually not the first time that they've gotten information from that account i'm going to let this other unit know who's like a threat management unit and uh so i gave that account has posted it several times and it's a russian account it's from russia it says it says like hey i'm located here i didn't know that that's the uh that was uh not the first time they got it from that account that's interesting yes it's not the first time they got it from that account or at least in a similar fashion but it's an account that's based out of russia so i i like texting back i'm like bro you got you got russians trying to derail your career here you're doing a great job russia's trying to smack your shit on on facebook that or if it's multiple from that account for them are just trying to maybe like pen test your your police response and things like that i don't know that's weird because if it's not me it's buffalo that's interesting well yeah strange that it's a buffalo thing there's definitely a connection between you and i there which is you know somehow maybe what they wanted i don't know interesting two birds one stone damn it we've fallen directly into their hands their evil russian hands but yeah we stopped uh we didn't do shit no we really didn't we saved the city heroes zero we stopped a false threat we treated it like a real one good training it was good training it was keys to the city fuck i can't believe i tried to make myself a hero piece of shit i don't even know we saved the world that would be insane i expect the key to buffalo new york next time i come to town you've got it his name is richard hi where do you want to go oh i don't know but we're going there on the merv yeah we are oh we have three of them now what good god we've upgraded there's another the big white one is huge another murder that often enough yeah what a rare statement yeah that in itself is a gem yeah uh it's called the powerhouse it's like 40 feet long it's like 11 feet tall it's a rescue vehicle so it's got every compartment known to man we could fit tables booze party supplies i mean everything inside the cab are four chairs and a desk there's a full-on including like the three front seats to like drive it and operate it i heard poker table yeah you could do that that's one-sided but we can make that happen yeah how much bigger than the merv table uh a third a third larger than the merv the merv's like nine and a half feet tall when did you get the second merv now i'm like there's three the second merv is one from like 1990s it's an old school one 1989 red just a fire truck uh right around uh shit where are we 23 did the buffalo show that that truck was probably coming online at that exact point it takes it we might have when you did the buffalo show and we had the merv i believe because wasn't that the first set of tours yeah that was the first like yeah yeah uh the yeah anyway i think yeah we might have had it it was just getting fixed we were just getting it just before the summer that we would go to the volunteer fire companies and go to their board like hey listen do you guys want to have fun but without all the rules we don't belong to you so we can do whatever you want we have your fire truck here's a three thousand dollar donation cool and they did honestly great it's fantastic because now there's no liability on them we carry all the insurances with our non-profit and then this is the magical part cummins diesel the international motor repair like the diesel they're like yeah we'll sponsor all three of your trucks no shit so they pick up the bill on every repair because there's a cummins l10 motor made in jamestown new york so the way that you finangled all this they talk about like sounds like jewy like you know skills you learn in the military not crossing over to civilian life so absolutely 100 applying what we did in the military to civilian life and it's kind of fun um the first fire truck we got i don't know if you ever heard the origination of the merv i went to a girl scout meeting with my daughter like my wife's like i can't make it you go i'm like okay cool i'm off of work i'll go but it's in my town i work with these people crack a beer with the fire chief like hey blah blah i'd like to buy some of your trucks i thought i'd like to buy an excursion or something i thought it was going to be fun like just a regular truck 750 for like a 2000 and something in excursion with like no miles on it i'm like yes i'll take two of those he's like we don't have that we got a fire truck oh shit i got a problem i own a minivan at this point and i have two daughters i can't just be spending like family money on fire trucks not with that attitude no quitter what i'm so negative honey hear me yeah so instead i do the next best thing i'm like let me call my youtube friend i'm like let me call my youtube friend let me call my youtube friend let me call my youtube friend let me call my youtube friend let me call my youtube friend hey rich you want to buy a fire truck and turn into a party mobile i don't remember the exact details of the conversation rich is like yes hang up i'm like we'll take it later rich is like oh you didn't tell me how much yeah like i mean it doesn't matter but but i mean how much is this gonna cost that's a ride or die is what that is yeah we're tight yeah so i show up with a fire truck my wife is like less than impressed by this whole thing she's like where you gonna park that i'm like i don't know in my mind immediately in your ass yeah that's not what happens right like we don't literally park a fire truck we don't park a fire truck we don't park a fire truck my wife's ass i put in my brother's driveway who lives next door i smashed up all the concrete the fire truck weighs over 24 000 pounds i owe my brother a new driveway yeah yeah yeah how much was it the driveway yeah all the driveway is way more than the fire truck oh yeah yeah you guys got a deal oh we got a deal we you want to tell them so you you started because you know the original price this mother talked him down it's impressive so i'm what the starting price well let me tell you about old people old people like dude you don't know how much that was i'm like yeah sure dude like back in the 90s it was over 400 000 they're like we want like 60 grand i'm like i'm not giving you 60 grand for a fire truck have you seen my minivan i don't have 60 grand we got him down to three thousand dollars are you fucking kidding me yeah three grand we got a fire truck for three g's how do you go from how many glocks did you give him that's it you know what those stayed in iraq and you know it first of all that's enough it says right here austria that's where they came from said you guys were friends i have a container a little bit attacked here this is not this is entertainment right three thousand dollars well we so the functional aspect of owning a fire truck is expensive we didn't really know what we were getting into but there's wiring issues motor issues there's two hundred and sixty dollar an hour mechanics involved in all these issues but when you're in a fire hall these guys like i can fix that they're not mechanics they just wire stuff up whichever way they feel so we end up with engine issues electrical issues and in more also you got two cops owning a fire truck we don't know what we're doing and what year fire trucks what year did you buy this uh when did we actually buy that was that 2020 no it's the fucking merv 19 joseph no no but we actually took possession of it in 2020 oh i negotiated the deal somewhere between november and december oh we closed on the house baby is that what you want me to say yeah okay just in time for the george floyd ride yeah so one of the fun facts is i call my insurance broker about fire trucks like you got an ice cream truck i like i didn't say ice cream truck i said fire truck so i go to insurance like how much you want like a hundred grand if this thing burns to the ground i need a hundred grand she's like okay that's eight hundred dollars a year i'm like hmm fantastic price rich calls me up he's like ah antifa mark the mercs i put it in the video and they they like want to burn down like 150. i'm like gambling like burn it it's like probably one of the best gambles ever yeah firebomb molotov cocktail the most one we'll get some videos out of it and yeah insurance pays antifa burn the merv here's my lamborghini but you know what's better than that knowledge my books uh so yeah we had a good time buying the merv and it was really neat just driving around town during covid when like these kids couldn't have birthday parties they couldn't go anywhere and we drive up with a fire truck and people like is that real is that guy intoxicated why is he on the roof i mean live show it was a wild ride and i was like oh my god i'm gonna go to the fire truck and i'm gonna go to the fire truck and i'm gonna go to the fire truck and i'm gonna go to the fire truck and i'm gonna take a like getting picked up at the hotel and it's like richard's like let's go i think that's the most snow i've ever seen in my life oh dude oh that was a decent amount of snow it was that was a very cold day yeah it was very for buffalo brother i live in texas brother even for buffalo it was a very cold day okay so speaking of cold i tried to turn the shower down all the way to cold it was still like 80 degrees here how is cold 80 degrees in the shower oh that sounds pretty cold to be honest because your water heaters are cold because your water heaters are cold because your water heaters are in your garages which are insanely hot that doesn't make it we can't put our water heaters in the garage all right garages go down to 20 degrees freeze out yeah yeah they pop in the basement yeah we don't really have hours to wake up it's all slight and also thanks texas five degrees you guys got a lot of cool gun laws but your shower why do you want to take a cold shower because i wanted to wake the hell up i like a cold shower that's psychotic i i'm okay with like a cold shower after like working in the like you know you're genuinely sure i used to do that back in i used to do a little bit of farm work shit like that but like construction whatever like come back and like take a take a cold shower that's awesome yeah in the morning off i like a nice warm shower let my fucking brain work up like wake up yeah i mean just a little different i was here i'm like you know i want a cold shower no such thing pleasantly unsurprised when i was like cold cold cold i'm like still hot this is crazy yeah it was pretty wild man there was no cold shower now you're in texas it's like 102 out it's miserable brandon has a cold shower you had his your morning walk today yeah i was on my uh we did a skeet shooting thing uh this morning oh when's your walk my walk don't you're going like door to door oh door knocking yeah oh you're doing warrants that's awesome yeah exactly is that how it gets vote for brandon it's actually the opposite it's only knocks it's only nice only cocks come out with your hands up show me your winner yeah today's high was at 96 or excuse me 98 what was the humidity it felt a little just it just rained yesterday last night it was bad yeah we saw it uh fucking miserable humidity yeah i almost lost my head going to dinner oh i'm sorry it blew off my head yeah you guys like chose full-on cowboy outfits you went pretty serious oh yeah they buy you see us tomorrow wait till you see us tomorrow oh i'm excited oh they they dressed for the occasion they went out they had a shopping trip hell oh we did he dressed me up i got up a buckle they look handsome showing up to the event and assless chaps is that what texans do not really but no no you could have said yes and we this would be great yes assless chaps right so it is yeah when's your when's your when are you doing your knocking thing all the time oh door knocking is just a thing that happens well last night you were doing the watch the formula and all that and then buck and does i was wrong i went to the wrong one because i tried to show up i was like oh i'll just say well i didn't know support you yeah buck and does like the the yeah the gun store is multiple so i went to the wrong one yeah i was like oh well i'm gonna go to the wrong one i'm gonna go to the wrong one i'm gonna go to the wrong one i sent you the invitation i sent you the thing you yeah but i didn't go to the address i just bucked because that's what i'm saying there's multiple of those so i didn't know that yeah so i was like here and i was like where the is everyone i look i pull up the address it's like nope wrong completely wrong spot so i actually was at the right spot is that where the frts are that we don't need that we can't have that we can't have them don't want to say misdemeanor yeah and i and i it's a classy misdemeanor that's crazy oh damn it's just kind of like your campaign tell me more about your knockers sorry i was holding that one in we're door knocking i'm like oh my god i want to know i want to know more about brandon's knockers i need to know more about his knockers actually we we're we're approaching time about ready to go yeah because i actually i have to go to another event there you go right now then we're good fucking fucking what time oh yeah you got your whole event to do yeah multiple events got a bunch of shit tonight people knock on doors and brandon thanks them for it he's shaking his knockers that was like a four of ten i know i loved it it was simple it was low hanging exercise to get there it's just fun he's proud of it yeah i only took it to two he was like i'm gonna make this work yeah i was like yeah i was smelling the steam coming out the script running in the background smelling cheap tequila bad decisions that's what my steam smells like thank you for coming to the unsubscribed podcast i was joined today by eli double tap joe again just just joe uh Angry Cops, Richard High, and myself, Bro-Nut Operator. Oh, where do we find you? you where do we find you oh uh over surf podcast to get more joe and i and our shenanigans with our friends and of course angry cops on the youtubes and pepper boxes joe i'm gonna say oh bye joe tammy regularly hauls stuff to her kids at college that's why she shops at bj's wholesale club saving up to 25 off grocery store prices beef jerky microwave meals laundry pods even they can't screw up have you met my kids and with bj's gas she gets there for less they call me the road warrior this is your home road warrior mom home of the save join for just twenty dollars at bjs.com slash mesquite and save ten cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bj's home of the save