Opening a Spiritual and Cultural Connection Through Dance

[Music] Alright! I'm gonna try and do this. Give us a hug. [Music] [Laughter] Oh, great start! Yeah, yeah. Actually, I think this is pretty much how it's gonna go, right? That's right. Welcome back to Embracing a Life of Dance. A podcast all about a dance is journey, the challenges we face, and our growth along the way. All the while, hopefully, sharing some unique experiences and inspiring you, the listener, to take that next step. And, as I like to say, embrace everything to do with dance on a deeper level. I'm your host, Harmon, and today I'm joined by Hasitha. Hello! I didn't quite realize, I didn't quite know how in-depth to get with this introduction straight away, but Hasitha is with me in the studio today, and I think I always find it nice to set a little bit of an atmosphere. It's Sunday, it's the middle of the day. It's fucking pouring outside. It's horrible weather. I think it is a fantastic weather. We're inside. Harmon's got a bit of mood lighting going. Yeah, we got some yellows and some purples and some blues. It's all over the place. And I think we're gonna just slowly get into it. Hasitha, one thing I'm really curious about is, I actually found out very recently, when you went to a wedding, that you've done other dancing. Yeah, I guess we haven't really spoken about the dance, like our dance journeys. I don't really speak about it to a lot of people. Which is weird. But yeah, I've done a lot of other different dance styles. Yeah, and I was like, I've known you for a year, I think. Actually, it must have been, it must be like, we must have met, I think, two or three years ago. Did we? I, you know what, he's, he's, he's, he's, she doesn't even remember. I tell you, I think he's a thing. He's a thing. Did you ever do that Zook Bootcamp at TSM? I did. Like the throughout. That is probably my first memory of you. You were there? Yeah. That is what January, February 2020? Wow. Oh my goodness. She's just like mine, Blurred. I actually don't even, I don't even recall. Yeah. See, I was telling you, I think that's, that is probably the same day that I was telling you about. Because I was leaving afterwards in my car. And then you and some of the other people who have known each other for longer, the older crew, were all kind of leaving together. I don't know what you guys are doing, maybe going for lunch or dinner or whatever it was. But I think for some reason, you're the only person who stopped by and said, "Bye, Harmon." Bye, Harmon! I'm like, bye stranger, I just met. Thanks for saying. I don't know, you just kind of stuck out because everyone else kind of just woke past. No shade, but it's just like, I think that is like really my first memory. To pay for memory of me. Well, I've recently found some bad ones. Yeah, I can. We don't talk about those. We don't talk about those because ones fault. Okay. I think we're here to talk about death. I think we should. We should get into it, you know? Yeah, I think we should get into it, because you mentioned like, you don't really talk about your dance journey, but it has to be more than TSM, like it's not just a three. When did you start a TSM specifically? Oh, TSM I started in 2014. Wow, okay. Yeah, so it's been a while. I didn't realize it was that long ago. Yeah. Was that your first dancing experience? That was my first Latin dancing experience. So it was actually we were planning a girls night out, with a couple of my friends from uni. And then I just Googled literally I just Googled free salsa classes. Yes. And TSM is the first thing that comes up. It is, isn't it? Yeah. And so we went to a class and then I just got hooked from then. I just started doing the classes. Yeah. And I started off with salsa first. Absolutely. I think a lot of people, I'm the exact same, like the exact same. And then like the more and more people you talk, you've been in our little circle, we'll have the exact same story to tell because you just have a night when you try something different and then you're hooked like that. That's it. So I didn't realize salsa would have been your starting point. I don't think we've ever done salsa. I mean, I don't, we've done Zik now. Well, you just triggered my memory, we have done Zik. But I think I've only really think of dancing Bachada with you. Yeah. I think we've only done Bachada. We've done Bachada classes together. Yeah. And socials and stuff. So when did you have that little switch between salsa to, or do you still have some salsa in you? I still do salsa but more socially. I prefer Bachada. Yeah. It's funny. I actually, with Bachada, I only did it socially. And I started taking formal classes in 2019 only just before COVID. So you had a long stretch of time between where you started salsa and then finally to a class. Switch to Bachada. Yeah. And then it was just like that. And then I fell in love. And then you left us all behind the salsa world and moved on. I'm still there. I'm still there. I'm still there. I wait for the day. We finally have a salsa dance. And then I can judge you real hard. Okay. No, never. I've never judged my friends. Never. Never. What do you mean? You judge me hard enough in Bachada as this. I would never return the favor. But like, yeah, 2014. That is such a long time. Have you just danced nonstop that whole time? Or have you had this break? Well, like, first dance, like, first ever dancing was when I was eight years old. My mom put me into Sri Lankan dance classes back then. And then that was my first ever dancing I did. And then since then, I've done different dance styles. Okay. Yeah. Well, let's get into Sri Lankan first maybe because it's something I don't know anything about. Want to give us a little quick little introduction. What is Sri Lankan dancing? What's it about? Yeah. Well, we're Sri Lankan dancing. There's different dance styles within Sri Lankan dancing. So the one that I'm trained in, it's called candy and or upper country dance style. Okay. It's more heavily. You have a more of a connection with the floor. So you're very grounded. And traditional dance forms is that you dance to drums drum beats. Yeah. Awesome. And it's all like, is it solo dance? Like choreographed partners or predominantly solo and group performances. Yeah. And you would have had the whole costume experience. Yeah. Is it a complicated costume? It's a lot. It's a lot. Like you've got obviously your top and then the bottom parts. You've got like bowels, like ankle, it's yeah, you've got head gear and yeah, it is a lot. It's a lot. Did you ever, was this formal training that you had? Yeah. So when I first started when I was eight years old, obviously it's not as intense. I did it for about five years. Yeah. And then I went into something else. And then I actually only came back to Sri Lankan dancing around about 2015. Okay. So I took a bit of a break from it. Yeah. Because what I found in Melbourne is that a lot of the Sri Lankan dance schools, they do a little bit of fusion. Well, I went into the traditional, like I just want to learn the traditional dance form. So the one teacher that we did that I found, that's who I've stuck to it now since 2015. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you've been doing that consistently as well, so any 15? Yes, since 2015. Wow. Yeah. Do you perform much or what's your reason to get into it? Um, that's actually a really good question. I guess going back to culture, I suppose. Yeah. Um, just wanting to learn more about culture through dance. Um, and you ask him out performances before COVID, we did do quite a few performances. Um, usually every two years we do like a production. Oh, nice. So, um, that's what we're doing pre-COVID. Um, hopefully next year our dance teacher is planning one for next year. She'll say, awesome. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. But yeah, that's absolutely fascinating. Like I think it's always good to take a step back to our roots and explore and it's going to sound, if you know me, it's going to sound a little pretentious because I tell you what, I'm trying not to get back to my roots too much. But I do Bangala and my cultural heritage absolutely has a place in my heart. Um, it's not something I bring out a lot. I think you'll find the memories and the experiences you had and the connection you made to your culture through it is an experience that only happens through dance. Yeah. Do you find like, are you a much of a religious person? Like, are you? I would say somewhat religious and spiritual. So, um, I was brought up Buddhist, my family's Buddhist. Um, but we weren't particularly religious. I was even like in my later years, I've become more spiritual. Yeah. Through my own, I guess, curiosity with it. Yeah. Spirituality. To do it, food isn't much. I'm going to. Sure. George join our podcast. Hi George you're on the podcast with me and has Hey, George Oh, how cute is that ask me for like a lunch and stuff Oh, whoa, hey, that's my dance partner George He is on a previous episode of the podcast Yeah, you guys would have all met George before I'm actually gonna leave some of this thing just Yeah, you guys would have met George Anyway, enough about that we need to talk about houses houses dance experience and journey and I think we were talking about cultural Take back and so you mentioned you've taken more of a step into spirituality is almost curious because I Definitely have a respect for spirituality and curiosity for it I don't ever find myself dwelling into it personally, but that doesn't mean I don't want to learn so I don't want to be religious I don't really have religious beliefs and then the line kind of gets drawn. Oh man, I want to be spiritual But I don't want to deal with religion is it a clear boundary between the two for you? Oh, I think with Buddhism it is a clear boundary because for me growing up Obviously my parents tried to enforce it, which is why I kind of stood away from it But now because I'm discovering it myself. It's more of a spiritual journey for me Even Buddhism the roots of Buddhism is not you know the Buddha never said oh you must do this you must do that You know what I mean? Okay, he just put out these teachings and he was like if you want to follow it you follow it nice So it's more of a way of life so you can incorporate it just in daily life really yeah awesome So do you find that tying into the way you dance or what you dance or where do you think that connection draws like Or is it the other way where dancing helps you feel spiritual? Oh, that's a good question. Um, I don't think I feel a spiritual connection with dance per se or anything religious with dancing. Okay It's more just of a freeing feeling I guess With dance yeah because you said um also name of the dance that you said you It's called candy and dance candy and dance you said it was more grounded. Do you think that has Any spiritual connection or like anything to do with the world and stuff like like in my head I'm like oh, so you grounded maybe like the history of that or The origin of that was to have more of a connection with the world around you do you feel that through that dance or any of the dances like that? Oh, um, I think with Sri Lankan dancing I do um only because Once again because of that grounded feeling, but we dance barefoot So there is that there is that connection that you have with the ground You're like you're almost one with the ground. So and um, we're very Uh, we're very respectful when we dance on any stage or any any ground You kind of you want to get the blessings from that area before you dance yeah awesome as someone taking a spiritual journey on your own now Is it down a path that connects you to your cultural heritage or is it its own separate thing? Um, it's definitely trying to connect with my cultural heritage to candy and dancing um, I don't know about yourself Um, but I'm I'm a child of migrant parents. I was born here. Yeah, parents are from Sri Lanka and growing up I struggled a lot with like cultural identity because you know your parents want to raise you in that traditional way But you're but I'm in this different land that has different traditions different Um, so for that reason I found myself growing up that I actually rejected my culture A lot like I couldn't relate to it. Yeah, um, and it's only through dancing now that I've Connected with it again, and I feel I can say I proud to be to say that yeah, I am sure like good nice Yeah, I mean had any like major milestones or like any like Events of performances that really kind of hit deep made you feel that connection like for sure Um, so in candy and dancing when you get to a certain level Um, and you're at your dance teacher feels like you're ready. You can actually graduate from the dance form Um, it's called for for females. It's called their Kalehli The Kalehli Mangalia um, and so you basically go through intense training I remember it was a group of about six six of us. We went through Um, this year long training process which I actually did not realize how intense it would be Um, it was physically intense mentally training as well because um, I'm not a full-time dancer, you know We All the other girls were either working or studying whilst trying to train for this but um, yeah 12 months of training and then we did a performance at the end um Yeah, each dance I think it was about five dances we did and each dance was about 11 12 minutes long Wow, so it was it was intense. It was growing and um, you know weekly, weekly practices you'd have like out four hour long practices or yeah So that was definitely a major major milestone in my dance career. Awesome. Yeah, I mean you mentioned like 12 months One thing that sort of relate to a previous podcast is time we also mentioned one time she Uh, wanted to compete and had that 12 month period and What do you think changed between you doing this dance as a Think for you as a thing for fun and exploration to That drive or that like where do you think that came from that kind of passion to spend you know four hours a week I guess it was just the love the love of dancing honestly when you dance for four hours Your exhausted, but it's a good exhaustion. Yeah, I do something Ha ha Yes, it's a very satisfying Yeah, it is and you never I never felt oh gosh, I don't want to do this again, you know It was it was just like that drive to You know, I actually want to see how far I can push myself where I can actually get to Yeah, anything you'd say to people who are have had opportunities or are considering opportunities of challenge themselves and kind of going I don't know if it's for me Just do it I just do it. I get that's that's fair Um, but I think one thing that I learned from that journey is To be kind to my body um, that's the biggest thing because um, you do get frustrated when your body doesn't move the way Then you don't want it to you know, you're like just just move out But the thing you just have to remember the bigger picture is that you should be grateful that You are in this space that you can dance and you have the opportunity to So just be kind be kind to yourself. Nice. Yeah, that's awesome. I love I love this continuous theme of being kind of ourselves It's talking about it a lot with George as well, and I think It makes sense that one of the biggest things we have coming into Something like dancing, which is Arguably like a it's a skill-based thing like there's a part of that where it's like it's not easy Like not only is the dance itself physically challenging and it's a mental challenge to be able to remember and do the things But you've taken a step we have to be kind to us You do you do and I think I'm excited about sometimes No, yeah, yeah, um, let's say we were switched back A lot of people actually bring a lot to the table when it comes to salsa and bichana people like you and me who jumped into it After learning other dance forms I think especially feel that having an experience of a different dance form has much to contribute to salsa and bichana do you what do you find? Translates really well from your cultural dancing to what you brought when you started doing bichana Especially because I think that's the main thing you do now in practice. So I think it's more in Not so much the technical aspects of candy and dancing translating into mm-hmm to bachata but more so The principles so that notion of You know practicing or you know, you know consistent practice is what makes you better um, but also I think When starting a new dance style really starting from the basics like even if you've done a previous dance style Yeah, you should always start from the basics of a new dance style right sure. So you've got that for that foundation to to them build on Yeah speaking of the little translation from one to another is a group performance with all boys You know, it's choreographed. It's structured Learn very specific moves you learn them in the order and you learn how to move around each other to maintain formations and stay in a group and all that so you gain awareness place surroundings um One thing I had coming into salsa and bichata is all of a sudden you're going from looking around you and seeing other things and maintaining formation and Your own personal space is suddenly now you have someone else in your personal space It incredibly jarring experience that I think Um as you listen to this podcast. I think you're gonna just hear me hammer on and on and on about my struggles with it So I'll do my best not to whine about how hard part the dancing is to me But yeah, how did you find that transition like it's you going from I think arguably salsa mcchata is also very traditional dance It has its roots and as you get more and more into it you learn more about the cultural inheritance that it has But how did you find that like difference between group dancing to all of a sudden, one on one. -Partner dancing. -Yeah. So hard. Yeah, it's short, hard. So actually so hard because you're so used to just dancing by yourself. And I think particularly as a, as a follower, that's even harder for me because I don't want to be led. I know what I'm doing. It sounds really good. -It's true. -It's true. It's true. It was really hard. But it's a whole other skill. You know, for you leading and you also follow as well, which how many is an excellent follower? -Styling. -It's such a stress. You should teach like, ladies, styling. It's the smallest little styling, just the smooth movements of my hands. So graceful. So graceful. So graceful, you don't even notice it. But you could actually speak to both leading and following. But yeah, following is a whole other world that I came to. Because you have to not only know the steps, you need to read the cues from your lead. And then when I started bachadas, you have to be all sensual. You have to get close to someone. -So close. -Too much eye contact. Too little eye contact. Am I holding you in the right place? I don't want to feel around for your hip. But am I on your hip or am I a little bit too on the side? Like I've had honestly. -Is that dangerous? -It's that danger zone. And like as someone who hasn't done partner dancing, it sounds stupid. It's like, I don't know if I'm holding you right. -Nice. -Are you touching the right place? -If you're just tuned in, this is a podcast about dancing. -Yes. About dancing. Nothing else at all. But I think, like I always, I think as a lead coming into partner dancing, we have our challenges. But as a follow, how did you feel about people being in your space? And I mean, bachadas sensual is a whole thing. -So whole thing. -Is it a thing? Did you ever find your cultural and your traditional upbringing, having a bit of a clash? Brown girl, the brown girl inside me was like, "No, don't do this. Mom would be so sick." -Like, shape? -That's like, it's like, shape, shape. What were the uncles and aunts just saying? -Oh, my God. -No, but actually, I remember I showed my mom the video of bachada dancing once. And she just goes, "You dance like this with other men." Oh, God, ma. I thought she wasn't even that sensual. Yeah, I think we've all learned the lesson growing up, too. Not just chuck our parents under the deep end. We kind of just share some of the more safer work bachada dances before. -Yeah. -Yeah. -For the fool. -For the stuff that happens at Congresses in festivals, which we leave for the side. By the way, have you done any festivals or congresses? -Have you gone around? -I've actually never been. -Same. -Like a festival. We should have gone to Sydney. -Yeah. -Right. For those wondering about what we're randomly talking about, I think, a little bit of context. Is it by London? -Yes. -Is that the name? -Is it by London? -Yeah. By London in Sydney is happening this weekend, probably just wrapping up soon or still going to party animals. -Yeah. -It's like the weekend is just dance. -It is dance. -24 hours. -It's. -Yeah. We talked about respecting our body. I think you kind of chuck that to the wayside. -Yeah, when you go to festivals, that's. -Yeah. Yeah. But honestly, like, if you're someone who's wondering about festivals, and you're wondering about your scared of the strangers and the high-level dancing you might experience or the space, I think all I have to say is, give it a shot. Give it a shot. Honestly, actually, before I started, like, "Thal's so in Bicharda dancing," I'm quite an introverted person. So this really pushed me out of my boundaries. -Yeah. -You know, you have to meet new people, but you meet people from very different backgrounds. Like you, Hammond. -I only found out what Hammond did today. -Sorry, I didn't know. -I walked up to my studio. -Yeah. She entered my studio and found out that this is actually a whole thing. -Oh, my God. -This is your job. But yeah, I think it's a very interesting little thing. It's like you can dance with someone for a long time, but you're not really in their life in that way. -Yeah. -Like, I'm notorious for not asking people what they do for work. Exactly. When you talk about his dancing or what, what's social, are you going to this? Yeah, that was a good class. I'll catch you some next some weekend on a social. Oh, speaking of social, do you remember like your first social, like where you would have gone for the first time or? It was. It was just a laughier start, TSM. -Oh, awesome. -Like, my graduation, the 1.5 graduate. That's it. That's it. Yeah. I was mesmerized when I walked in. It was that, you know, off-chabble street, the space. Yeah. When I usually have it, I just thought, "Oh, my God, these people are dancing." And it's not choreographed. They're just dancing. Yeah. -What's this possible? -Like, the sensory overload? -It's ridiculous. -Oh, it's intense. Oh, my God. But I was just like, I want to do that. I want to be that person one day. You can just go to socials and you just, you just, you just on the dance floor. -Yeah. -Pose the goal. It was the goal, I think. Yeah. Would you say you've kind of, you're doing that now? I'm doing that. You're doing that. What's your most recent social event there? You're doing the bus there, a little bit. Sorry. I actually don't even recall. Was it right before Christmas? -Oh, you're weird. -Was I? I just pushed that out of my memory. I don't know. Is that why you don't recall it? Just because of what happened following that. -It's been a pity. -Yeah. So for you guys on these podcasts. Exclusive story. Exclusive story of how everyone's Christmas went. -Everyone's Christmas is ruined. We went to this social. -No shade. No shade for them. -Yeah, no. It was just the social. -It was just social. -It was just social. Couple of days later, some people were like, "Oh, feeling a bit under the weather?" "Oh, just a positive recovery." And then it was just a domino effect. Oh, yeah. Actually, that put me off going to socials for a long time. Even dance class. I think it was back for a while. -You didn't, yeah. -Yeah. I think I was back dancing as soon as possible. But I didn't, yeah, I think it was late February. Or I think just a couple of weeks ago that I've actually been like, "I'm getting back into socials." I was also pretty thrown off. Maybe for different reasons, but like, I had my reasons for being in the same social. Catch us on a different podcast, dude. Yeah, that'll be the behind the scenes. Embracing other parts of life to do with dance. Tell me about your experience with dancing and meeting people. Oh, absolutely. I'd be happy to get into it. I didn't expect to have the tables turned in. Well, funny story. I got into dancing and stayed in the scene for the longest time to meet people. And I would like to say, I would like to say, now I have other reasons to stay. The love for dance and seeing my personal growth. Yes. I think that is developing and growing through the dance and the experience I'm having, it's not happening through trying to date someone. A whole other thing to talk about. But I, you know what? The reason it's interesting to me is like, I think my cultural heritage and the way I grew up was very restrained and controlled. And the way you were grown up is like, you have this thing about idolizing and respecting women. Did you find it like a much of a challenge to push yourself away from these beliefs and these restraints growing up? Like, what do you think about it? Do you have anything that really held you back? Definitely my upbringing, you know, growing up, my parents would be like, you know, you have to be a certain way. You're a girl, you're a brown girl, you have to be a certain way. You have to do things, do you think you have to talk? Certain ways. So, um, definitely I felt that restriction. And it's only since I've got an older and moved out of her. You've actually gotten that freedom. But honestly, like my relationship with my parents is a lot better now as well than I found. As you get older, there are a lot more understanding of things, which is great. Yeah. They've grown and developed as well. But I'm, I'm really curious to know about, you know, why, the reasons why guys actually start dancing. I don't want to sound like sexist or anything. But obviously girls dancing, it's like, oh yeah, girls dance. But I often wonder what drives men to actually go to a salsa class, like a bachada class. Well, I guess you know what, we've got time and I haven't really, we're like, we're a few episodes in and I don't think this will bring up. This will come up much more often. So it's fine to talk about it. Um, I don't know if I can, again, I don't know if I can speak for all guys. Um, as I mentioned, I had done Bunga. Uh, it wasn't, it actually wasn't a dance that I did originally out of my personal interest or desire. I don't know. Did you start dancing because it was something fascinating? Or was it something that suddenly, it was pushed onto you? Have you, like, what kind of was it for you? I guess it wasn't really pushed on. My parents, my mom, it was mainly my mom. I remember my mom taking me to dance class and she's just like, here's the dance class. Okay. Do you know anything about it before you got there? No. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. Yeah. I guess for me, we used to go to the temple, the Gudwana. And then suddenly there was someone teaching us and all the kids who had free time and would cause chaos outside were suddenly pushed into a room and forced to train and practice things, which became performances, which became us first of all just growing closer as friends, but yeah, just having regular practice gave us a way to release some physical needs of movement and activity and just releasing some of that energy. But it also just became, I think there's a very spiritual thing about connection that you get, whether it's part in the dancing or group dancing that you get from just dancing with someone. Like, when you're in a line or when you're in a formation and you guys are doing the same moves and you're catching yourself, you feel like you're not feeling they're happy, but in a way you guys are connected in more than just from a distance the way your body's a movie you're connected to the mind and mentally. It sounds a bit like I'm not a huge person on this. So my idea of this is very airy, very weird concept. I don't really have a clear understanding of it. But you just like, I think anyone who's experienced that will kind of get what I'm talking about that there's this feeling of connecting more than just physically with someone when you dance together. For sure. Yeah. And I think like, but the way that kind of links into salsa bachata for me is I had tried ballroom dancing in high school for a very brief time, just to kind of do something different. We always had to pick a different sport, different activity and one time I tried and I was like, well, it's really hard to do. I just danced with girls. I went to an all-boy school, hadn't had much of an experience. They didn't really get to know how to be socially comfortable in that scenario. So I had the ballroom experience and struggled with it and then suddenly left it behind. And years later, I suddenly remembered it on a uni break and remembered that I loved dancing with people. And ballroom had put me out of my comfort zone and giving me an experience and a way to talk to girls, to hang out with girls, get more comfortable with the other gender. It was, I just remembered that, you know, I don't have to go to a bar and drink with someone. I can actually, it's stuff I, doesn't interest me and I found someone just recommended, hey, you want to meet people, try salsa. And that was my reason. I just wanted to get more comfortable with people. And obviously meet people, but that reason is less important now. Banged, yeah. So that's like a little, how I got here. Yeah, so interesting. I hope so. Oh, I'm just blabbing for no reason. Yeah. It was, yeah, honestly, thank you for joining me. It's, that was really fun. I think it's a little bit more fun than I thought.