OOPS, All Updates! | Reading Reddit Stories

Hi, welcome to Smoshreads Reddit stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is updates. Yes, so buckle up for some good stuff We got a lot of updates come in your way and I'm joined by two people who have updates to tell me Ian and Tommy I'm pregnant Better top you got to top that You were here for the last updates episode. Okay, which had the story about the butter. Oh Brother, oh butter. Yeah. Yeah Opie's her boyfriend kept disappearing to the bathroom with a stick of butter and then would come out and he didn't have a butter anymore And and she would hear moans. Yeah in the bathroom So was I in that episode or did I just listen to it? It was Damien who is in it. Okay, just listen because I'm a fan Also editor. Yeah, it's a crazy. It's crazy. Yeah One of many crazy stories you read here But anyways thought we'd point that out. I don't know if that's gonna mean anything Whoa, there was a note. There was a note to bring that up. We got an above date. Oh Nice if butter boy saw this saw this episode. Oh, no, given update. That'd be crazy. Oh, no I hope you gave some tips. All right. Yeah, hey, hey, all right. Well, so Obviously expects them updates. I'm so I'm so stoked. I love updates. It's always the best our first story Am I the asshole told my co-worker that she's falling for a romance scam and now she's upset My friend let's call her N N and I have worked together for three to four years at a hair salon N is early 30s kind of an airhead Gollible but really kind and nice person. She's currently in a relationship with this guy for the last six months He lives in New York. We're in the Midwest. They talk on the phone all the time He's been out here a couple of times to visit. We've never met but I have heard a lot about their relationship This morning she texted me at 6 a.m asking to borrow 10,000 dollars Because her boyfriend's mom has a family emergency and needs the money soon She said he's working on an offshore oil rig in Dubai for two months and can't transfer the money until he's back to the states She doesn't have the money so she asked if I can ask my relatives for the 10k for her I told her that this sounds like a romance scam and that if he's asking her for such a big amount of money like that early in their Relationship, it's a red flag and that she should reconsider I told her that since I don't know her boyfriend that well And if he ghosts her either me or her will be on the hook for the 10,000 dollars now She won't answer my text or call she also took a personal day from work today Am I the asshole? Should I have kept my mouth shut and minded my own business at it? Yes, she is very naive and gullible. She believes she can talk to ghosts and spirits That's another can of worms that I won't get into she didn't bring her boyfriend around when he was in town a couple of times Just a bunch of excuses I told her sister about it and got an earful about how I shouldn't judge a person in need like that I gave up I sent her a few articles about sweetheart and pig butchering scams still no reply I know she read it. She's not the type that's loaded. She lives with her parents in their basement and lives paycheck to paycheck I hope she will realize this is a scam before she's in debt. This will be an expensive lesson. Thank you for letting me vent Oh, no, no. Yeah, that doesn't sound great because as we all know oil is not in Dubai. It's an Abu Dhabi guys Dubai is purely torsion and a whole sheet of story. I wish she to told her that you know Dubai's where they have all that chocolate. Exactly. That's what the chocolate. That's yeah It's the chocolate and the big in the big building. The first thing you learn in elementary school. Yeah, yeah, that's too bad Okay, this sucks the sucks. She's getting scammed. She's definitely getting for sure Yeah, I kind of have had this like barometer for my entire life or at least my adulthood of like relationships Like the first six months like don't do anything extreme in that first six months like don't this is me People people don't have to listen to this right, but it's just like whatever I hear about people being like we're getting engaged And I'm like have you been together for six months like that's always where I'm like that's that to me as always feels like a little fast Right, and I think giving the person you're dating a large sum of money in The first six months fits into that unless it's like you are hanging out with their family You are there you've got all the evidence in front of you But you're talking mostly on the phone with this guy and he's like by the way, I need $10,000. It's like I'm gonna need to see some more. I'm like, how often does this work? Should I be asking for $10,000? She just we're missing out for ten. Yeah. Yeah, just be like throwing it out there shoot your shot. Okay. Yeah, be like I need the new PS5 It's 10,000 dollars There's then the leap that she's asking a co-worker for 10,000 asking if they have relatives It's becoming a whole MLM. Yeah, yeah, because I'm sure she told him like she Doesn't have any money and he's like no no worries. Ask your family ask your friends. Yeah, exactly I actually I actually don't think asking your co-workers for $10,000 is crazy, right James? James do you James? Well James do you have I asked you if you had do you have James is looking over at Eric? I think a thousand dollars What is a pig butchering scams and you know? I mean, I watched the John Oliver episode on pig butchering but it's basically like You know you you fatten up your your your target. Oh, you know, yeah, you get them all buttered up and Then you go in for the kill and you get all that money from them So you know, it's a lot of the romance scams are like the tender swindler All this like the the Brad Pitt in the hospital woman. Yeah Hospital woman. So there was a woman that gave like I don't know what it was like $50,000 Because she thought she was dating Brad Pitt. Oh, and he sent her photos of him in a hospital and they were like really terribly photoshopped images I crashed in the F1 movie and yeah, and yeah, she sent She sent to she thought was Brad Pitt she thought Brad Pitt needed $50,000 Yeah, I mean, would you need me to be in that F1 movie if you had money? Actually, I don't know if it was a bad. I think it was apparently amazing. People really like it. Okay. I haven't seen it Look, it's apparently really good. Oh, okay. Every dad is happy with it. Yeah. Yeah It always makes me really sad Yeah, so it's hard breaking It unfortunately good scam like people are lonely. That's a way to get them. Oh, yeah, and it really works I mean she's so convinced she's so like Wanting to do this for this guy that when her friend calls it out She just stops talking to her as we know there's gonna be updates. So I'm still gonna react like I didn't know there was one Yeah, yeah, so he did visit her that doesn't mean he can't still scam her right like you know like she he visited her a couple times in person But I think a lot of these they I'm surprised that they actually saw each other because like a lot of these are like oh like it's like you know a Young woman and like quote-unquote Venezuela like reaching out to like some 55-year-old man in Ohio being like I can't face time Yeah, yeah, and then and then being like oh, I'm in this bad accident or something like send money So I'm surprised he showed up, which is like yeah, I think this stuff is happening all the time and there is a We have an article title here Scammer pretending to be Keanu Reeves Billx Bay Area woman out of a hundred and sixty thousand dollars. Whoa Boomers got that money and they believe anything they see online We've learned we have learned that Yeah, I'm wondering with AI how much we're so we're scambered. So just don't trust anybody guys. Yeah, I don't trust anyone Hey, listen, listen, listen, don't trust anybody at all. Yeah live miserably live miserably be upset. Yeah, don't trust anyone online Anyone online but give me $10,000, but give me in $10,000. I need it. I need it because my foot hurts. Oh So James James my foot hurt Some comments here not the asshole. That's a classic scam scenario and in any case She shouldn't be trying to borrow such a large sum of money from you and your relatives even for herself Much less for a total stranger who sounds nice online It's a good thing that you warned her I suppose you might have added links to some reliable sources on scams too if you had had the chance Now you can only hope that she comes to a sensible conclusion while isolating herself from you and taking time off work I hope to think and do research Someone said not the asshole and how do people have the audacity to just ask for $10,000 to their friends slash co-workers Someone said not the asshole. I worked with a lady that fell for one of these I even contacted the med school. She said he went to and confirmed he was not an alumni And she still wouldn't let it go eventually she realized and she later admitted that the Valentine's Day flowers She received at work were actually sent to herself. Oh god Someone said not the asshole. You can take a thirsty horse to the lake But you can't force the horse to drink the water. It needs you already did your part. It's up to her to do hers Yeah Update what A few days later. Oh, okay Those little tiny mice at the bottom of the screen She's like she's Wait, what's that in there? Yes, thank you. Yes. Yeah, someone will get it All right, she just texted and asked for of the money under the guise of her sister needing it. It was a flat no. I feel bad for her. I told other co-workers and my boss about it so they can say no to her and maybe she'll understand from a group perspective that we're trying to protect her, way to go. Update number two. What? Two and a half weeks after the original post. What we, me and many redditors, suspected was true. She was in a romance game. She has never met her boyfriend in person. They only talk online. Oh, so she was lying about seeing him in person. Oh. Right now. She said she was lonely and was afraid of being alone. She said her boyfriend stopped contacting her after she couldn't get the money and started asking simple questions, like no internet on the rig, satellite phone, et cetera. After she realized that he was scamming her, she started telling me about how she had been sending him small amounts of money, like $50 to $500, in the past six months to help him out with some small emergencies. When he ghosted her after she couldn't help him with the $10,000, that's when she realized that she had been romance scammed. I'm glad that she saw it for what it was. Well, at least she didn't do the $10,000 part. That's true. The giant bullet bill, not the little ones, but the big one you got a squat in that little pit for. Yeah. I won another update that was like, Brad Pitt told me I did a great job handling that and we're gonna go to Italy tomorrow but he said that his card's getting declined. Yeah. Yeah. My friend almost got $10,000 taken away but Brad Pitt and I are going to France today. (laughing) Damn. I mean, still, it all still sucks. It sucks. It's good that she was able to figure it out. Right. I really feel bad for her. A lot of the lonely folks out there. It's really sad. I mean, I understand when people are so lonely why they want to believe so bad. Absolutely. We both found ourselves in places where it's like, and whether it's like believing like, oh, I have a crush on this person. Maybe they like me back and it's like, oh, and then you look back and you're like, no, they never did. Why was I convincing myself of that? We all find ourselves in places where we want to believe in something but you have to always have a healthy amount of doubt. Yeah. Go wait, why am I sending $500 to this person? Yes. You lie to yourself the best. Yeah. I've suspended my disbelief for far too long, plenty of times before. Sure. Today's episode of Reddit Stories is brought to you by ZockDock. 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Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to zockdock.com/pittreddit to find an instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's zocdoc.com/pittreddit. ZockDock.com/pittreddit. Back to the show. Our next story. Am I the asshole for telling my heavily pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary? So this was posted only two weeks ago as of today. OK, it's currently 4 AM and I feel so guilty right now. I can't sleep. So myself and a few girlfriends decided to watch a documentary that's been trending. Not going to lie, I was expecting a documentary showing a human side of a certain person. But yeah, as anyone who has watched the documentary knows what it was. So the documentary that OP is referring to was the 1,000 men and me. The Bonnie Blue story where an only fan's adult content creator, Bonnie Blue had sex with 1,057 men in 12 hours. The event was fully recorded and the footage is shown in the documentary. On to the issue. My friend's fiance was one of the 1,000. I wasn't the first person to notice. Two other friends were the first to notice. I didn't believe it at first, but with a second watch, it was definitely him. Even though his face was covered, the body shape and especially the tattoos were undeniable. We debated till the early hours of the morning if we should tell her or wait because she's eight months pregnant. But in my opinion, if someone cheats like that, it's not their first time. And I'd rather lose her friendship for telling straight away than her finding out I knew and hid it. Because let's be real, when you tell someone news like that, there's a huge chance they'll hate you, not the cheater. So this Sunday morning, I asked my friends to meet up to talk. I showed her the evidence and the minute she looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down. I expected her to be angry at me, but she thanked me for being honest as multiple people have hinted that she should watch the documentary instead of being up front like I was. No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, why can't you just try just telling her first? No, don't tell her, let her watch her husband have sex with him for that. Yeah, just check this out. That is, that is, come on. So, that's, that's, that's making excuse for your cowardice. Right, it's like, I mean, like, I think it was, I think it was right for her to tell her friend obviously. It was right for her to tell her friend. Yes, tell, we don't need it. That's one of those things where maybe tell, don't show. I think it's, I agree, because I think there's many situations where it's like, oh, there was video of your boyfriend at the club making out with someone. It's like, oh, show her the evidence instead. It's like, no, you can just tell her. She doesn't need to watch that shit. Yeah, or like worse. And then she doesn't believe you. Then if you need to, if you go, look, it's there, but you probably don't want to see it. Or worse case scenario, just take a screenshot that's like of him that doesn't show like the stuff's going on. Sure. Like be like, okay, trust me, there's no other video. There's no other content with this guy being naked. Right. I don't know, ooh, ooh, but also I'm like, I'm like, did they have a documentary crew filming the porn crew? Probably not. I have so many questions. Probably. Did they green light the documentary? Probably a lot of layers. Sides by side with. Wow. I ended up driving her to her mom's house. I'm guessing she told her fiance I told her because he has been blowing up my phone, calling me an evil little home record who ruined not only his life and calling me out on social media for trying to ruin his relationship and wanting his unborn daughter to grow up without a dad. My friends are angry with me for telling her straight away and not waiting till she had the baby in case the stress would cause issues to her health. I don't give two shits if I'm being honest about her fiance, but I feel so bad for putting my friend in the situation while heavily pregnant. And I'm worried if something does happen to her, it will be my fault. Maybe she would have watched it herself and found out on her own. Am I the asshole for telling my pregnant friend her fiance was in a documentary? Okay. Well, there's no right time to apologize. There's no right time. I would also assume with something like that, there's been a lot of discourse about this on TikTok and Reddit and all over. The documentary itself. I assume you have to assume she's gonna find out, right? This isn't like, oh, I saw your husband or your fiance at a restaurant and they were by themselves. Like, oh, maybe nobody else is gonna know about this. This is a while ago. No, there's a published work out there. Yeah. And like, you know, somebody's going for a record and you're gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna do this on the slide. And no one's going to find out. Oh, there's, there's, you have proofs. There's noticeable tattoos. Yeah. Come on, man. And he's acting like she's the one who ruins a whole record. You made a choice, man. You sat there. You probably waited for hours that day. Like, you had it drink into coffee. You probably had eight hours eating a croissant. To sit there and go, what am I doing? Right, yeah. But you never stop. When they said that this obviously isn't his first time, that's like, that's so true. Oh, my God. You're not gonna start there. Yeah. I feel like, I want to see a documentary of those thousand guys and just like get, get like their thought process on like what they were thinking. I think a fair thing to say regarding cheating in general is that you are also putting your partner at risk in a health way, especially this. 'Cause it is effectively sleeping with a thousand people. Did they use protection? I don't know. Yeah, I haven't seen that in a documentary. It doesn't really matter to me. You sleep with one person. You don't know what they've done. Yeah, 'cause he's sleeping with strangers. So he doesn't know the situation. And his wife is pregnant. Like this is, I understand, so they bring up a concern that's valid of like being concerned about her health because she's eight months pregnant. It's pregnant. Her husband is not considering, her fiance is not considering her health. There's some context from the comments. Oh, he says, our friend group is afraid that the stress would harm her as she has had issues during the pregnancy and suffers from panic attacks. If anything were to happen to her or the baby, I'd never forgive myself. I understand that. I think that's valid. I also agree that like, it's like there's no good time. It's no good time. I don't think like waiting for the baby to be born to that feels also messed up. But I feel like there could have been a better way to like relay the information to her rather than just like, here's the video. Yeah. And she didn't show her the video. Oh, she didn't. Oh, I thought she didn't. No, so O.P. He told her straight away, her friends were saying, no, you should have just had her watch the video. >> Yeah, they're friends. >> You should watch the video. >> Oh, he said no, I want to just tell her. >> Yeah. >> Oh, good, good, good, good, good. >> So no, okay. >> As far as we know, she showed her the evidence, so she showed her a picture. She looked at the picture, she knew it was him and broke down, so there's a picture, but not watching more. But I, yeah, I don't know, that's a tough, that's a tough thing. >> Damn, it's messy. >> It's a horrible situation. But to be clear, he's the one who made this situation exactly. She's now burdened with the knowledge, and I can't really fault someone for being like, I'm going to immediately go and tell you. Like, we've read so many stories and are take away so many times with knowledge of cheaters is like, yeah, go tell them, like right off the bat, like that's a really like, that's your friend. >> Yeah, and he puts, I mean, he puts the wife at risk, he puts the baby at risk like, I don't know if he's protection during all that stuff, but like sleeping with somebody that's sleeping with that many people, potentially getting something that you could give to the wife and the baby, like when the baby's delivered, like that's just like, not good, not smart. >> No. >> No, he left a comment saying, they got engaged on Christmas day and my friend would have found out around January she was pregnant, she didn't tell us until she was three months pregnant. Okay, someone said just to be clear, since the OP wasn't, the dude was in a porn video banging a random chick with 999 other guys. Apparently, while already with his fiance, I'm pretty sure this is cut and dry. Someone said, so apparently many people in her circle have seen this and recognized the jerk, all keeping silent and maybe hinting she watched. How would her watching and suddenly seeing her baby's father be part of this disgusting freak show have been less stressful? You are not the asshole. You had the courage to tell her what so many others were whispering behind her back. It's true that like many others she may decide to stay. Even if that happens and she pulls away from you, you still did the right thing. >> Yeah, I- >> That's good. >> Watching and being blindsided by that, you're watching- >> That's crazy. >> Like, oh my God. >> That would be harder to deal with. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh my God. >> Someone said, I'm six months pregnant and I would want to know. Someone said, not the asshole. He hit his face and didn't tell her because he knew he shouldn't do it. He's facing the consequences of his choices. I guess men were wearing ski masks to help obscure their identities in this. >> I want to watch that. >> Yeah. >> I mean, hey. >> I don't know. >> You're pregnant. Wouldn't you want to know? >> That's true. >> Yes. There you go. >> There you go. >> You heard it here, folks. >> I would love to know for the sake of my child and- >> Our child. >> Sorry. >> I'm so sorry. >> Yeah, I forget. >> Yeah. >> Lastly, someone said, he not only cheated, he did it in the most hideous way. What sort of STDs has he brought to his fiancee an unborn child? His behavior is particularly disgraceful. Given the way he's gone straight to offense and blaming you to deflect from what he's done, I hope she doesn't take him back. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I don't know the logistics. But I don't think there's a safe way that that happens, like that's 1,000 people. >> It's not foolproof. That's true. >> That's what it's really. >> Something could slip through. That's just about the most heinous way to cheat on somebody. >> That's the type of cheating that I would think many people who cheat would go, well, I'm not doing that. >> I'm not crazy. >> Well, I'm not crazy. >> It's the Godzilla of cheating. >> They're like, how dare you, at least just find a motel. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> And bang your secretary. >> I'm a bad over class. >> We've all heard about this video. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> I have heard about this. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, Guinness was there. >> We're all men of culture. >> Guinness was there. >> He's like, Jesus Christ. >> This one doesn't count. >> Yeah. >> It is funny. There's a good challenge. >> There's like a Guinness world records, like Dispatch Center, they're like, okay, you're going to go to Smosh for this. And Jerry, you're going to the giant orgy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, I thought they would give me the most rubber bands on an arm. >> Yeah. >> I'm in Iowa for biggest core. >> Yeah. >> Well, this card here is pretty big. >> Wait. >> Yeah. >> What? >> There's an update, isn't there? >> Update. >> My God. >> 1,000 updates. >> Bonnie Blue weighs it. >> It wasn't me. >> It wasn't me, it wasn't me. >> What I like about this story is that we're judging him. >> Yeah. >> I feel like a lot of discourse I saw was focused on judging the woman in that video. But I'm like. >> That's crazy. >> 1,000 guys. I'm like, what are they thinking? >> Yeah. >> What do they do with that as well? >> Update the next day. My friends fiancee wasn't the only one of our partners to do the lineup. >> Oh no. >> Yes. >> Yes. >> Do they all just live in the same town? >> She's like British, right? Is this in the UK? >> I don't know. >> I don't know. >> Yeah, I mean, it's a small island, you know. Everyone knows everyone. It's a small world, right? >> I can't imagine. >> Yeah, except it's horrific to look at. >> Guys, get ready. >> Okay. >> O.P. writes, my boyfriend of three years was one. >> Let's go. >> All right. >> All right. >> Do you think they carpooled? >> So was another, so was another friend's husband. >> What do we do when a guy is off these guys are idiots. >> No. >> I don't want to see the sex. I want to see like the drive home, where they're just all in the jettah, just like. >> Yeah. >> I like, you know, either that or none of them knew they were going to be there and they see each other in the ski mask, they're like, Jerry, Stephen, I don't know why. Don't you have a wife? >> God. >> Okay. >> What's up with sex kids? >> Wow. >> He stays at the sex kids. >> Two hours ago, he O.P.'s friends fiance posted screenshots of a group chat and photographic receipts. No one could deny. Other men and relationships are involved. He said in the caption, I wasn't the only one there, tags me, maybe check your man before coming for my relationship. Tags five other women, I'm not taking the blame alone and being seen as the bad guy while tags the men did the same. There was a lot more said, but I stopped reading and just deleted my social media account and then blocked my now ex. I don't want to hear his explanation. I feel so humiliated and physically sick, I don't know how I'm going to face the co-workers or clients at work tomorrow. I wish I could just disappear. My phone is going crazy, so I'm going to turn it off. Go take a long shower, then see if I can get any sleep for what I'm sure will be a hell tomorrow. >> Aww. >> He really said if I'm going down, I'm taking everyone down with me. >> Why? >> But then it's like, well, good, I'm glad she initially said something because she's, she got to end up like clearing out all the minds of the mind control. >> No, she can't be like, I don't think she's upset that this all transpired, that this domino effect happened. >> Right, that's not what I'm just like, well, I'm glad she did because now it's all out in the open. >> But it is humiliating as fuck. >> Of course. >> Of course. >> It really is the Godzilla of cheating, because you're not only cheating in such a public way, that it's like, yeah, everyone's going to know about this. They're going to know I'm dating someone who did this without me knowing. And like, all right, dude, cool. >> They should have had like a ski mask for like their whole body, you know? >> Ski body. >> Ski body. >> Ski body. >> Ski bitty toilet. >> What's it called? >> What's it called? The morph suits. >> Yeah. >> The morph suits. >> But just the pieces. >> The guys in morph suits and they're just wieners are out and one mommy. >> It's a funny image. >> One mommy. >> Yeah. >> And one ninja. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> All right, if they all had Halloween costumes on, I might watch it. >> That would be fun. >> Cuz it's like, who's next? SpongeBob. >> God. >> And his nose is in their minds. >> Yeah. >> All right. >> It's just so. Okay, okay, may I say horrible update? >> Horrible update. >> All right. >> Can I just say, absolutely horrible update? >> You did. >> One of the worst. >> Sometimes you get updates where it takes a real nice turn for the whole year. >> That's what I love. >> That's why it's gonna happen. >> Man, there's those ones where the updates get worse and where we get more and more reveals. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Is that where five guys, burgers and fries got their name? That was a bad joke. That was a stupid joke. >> Five burgers. >> Well, one burger. Five guys. >> Hey, we got there again. >> You figured it out. >> We got there again. >> We figured it out. >> We got there. >> Comments. Honestly, he thought he was getting revenge when in reality, he did all those women a big favor by exposing the rest of them. >> Exactly. >> Got to love it when the trash takes itself out. Someone said, what a wild ride. I think OOP did the right thing by deleting her social media and taking time to herself. But what a horrible, horrible human being is this guy. I don't really know what to say. These guys, Astrix. Someone said, radical concept. If you're in a committed, monogamous relationship with a person, don't sleep with other people. It's not that hard. Jesus fucking Christ, bonus tip, don't film it. Someone said, I have never had an update knock me out of my chair this hard. >> Right, yeah. >> Yeah. It's strange to read a story where OOP is not the subject matter. They're like, this is happening to my friend. And then they get dragged into it. >> Step into it. >> Oh, it's actually just as much me. These guys suck horribly. >> Wow. >> These are awful dudes. >> Yeah. >> Glad they got exposed. >> I just suck. >> I suck. I suck. There's not really like any silver lining really out of this one. I'm like, where did they find all these men? LA casting. Yeah. Yeah. It's a thought I don't want to think too much is just how many men were cheating on partners in that, on that day. Yes. That's an aspect that I'm like, oh my god. Right. Yeah, because we know it's got to be more than these five guys. It's-- And you know, when they casted for that, they didn't care about it. They don't care about anything. Like, they're reaching a number out of quality. How big was that crafty table? A thousand times. I feel like it was less of a production than you're imagining it be. I highly doubt it. I don't think they had sun chips on a table. I'm imagining it. They need a whole, like, universal studio sound stage. They rent on a CBS for it. Yeah. They, like, flew people in, like-- Steve and I spilled rigs. Like, let's take it again. He's got the rig. He's got the rig. Yeah. You need, like, military level logistics to pull this off, I feel. Like, how do you feed 1,000 people? That's, like, the problem the Romans had, you know? Very true. I'm imagining the visual of, like, waiting in line for Santa. Oh, no. Like, that's so funny. Like, you're just in the spine line. Yeah. Oh. Oh, it's awful. I am so sorry, OP. Yeah. There's nothing to say to that one. There isn't. Sometimes we-- sometimes we'll be stored in stories and we're just like, oh, damn. I'm sorry to-- I'm sorry for the men in this story. I'm sorry to everyone involved in this. It makes me-- this all just makes me feel bad. Yeah. Yes. Yep. Back to the show. Our next story. I got fired from Walmart and never worked there. That's cool. What does that mean? So this comes from a subreddit that I've-- I've checked out before called, I don't work here, lady. Awesome. This happens a lot where people assume people work somewhere. Yeah, you go to Target and a red shirt. Yep. And some people just fuck with people in those situations. About a year ago, I worked selling solar panel systems. This job required me to wear khakis and a blue polo when I was meeting customers. One particular day after meeting with a homeowner, I had to stop by my local Walmart to get more pens and a notepad for my work bag. I pretty consistently got asked if I worked there by other customers and I would help if I knew what they were after. But I always told them that I didn't work there and they were always kind. So this fateful day, I grabbed my pens and paper and checked out in the self checkout section. As I was leaving, I heard someone say behind me. And just, where do you think you're going? Now, a little about me. I try to mine my own business as much as possible and don't like to get wrapped up in other people's drama. When I hear outbursts like that in public, I assume it's not because of me. I also try to follow the rules as much as possible. In this case, I assumed it wasn't me because I paid for everything so I continue to my car. Roughly 30 feet from my car, I hear again, hey, you stop! I do turn around at that one because that's typically what you say to a thief. An employee who can only be described as a Karen is marching towards me eight different kinds of pissed off. She starts reaming into me about how I'm abandoning my shift and I'm not supposed to get off for another three hours. I'm standing there bewildered because I genuinely have no clue what she's talking about. I try to let her know I don't work there but she won't let me get a word in. Eventually, she says, forget it, you're fired. I waited about five seconds and told her, I don't work here, I've never worked here. She stared at me and muttered, sorry, and ran back inside. That's awesome. That's awesome. I didn't think she'd actually apologize, I love that. I'm still not sure what happened but that's my tale of being fired from a job I never worked at. Hope it brought you some joy. That's awesome. I love that she apologized. Sorry. Sorry. Have you seen the watch people die inside subreddit? Oh yeah, watch people die and say it's great. I feel like that's definitely one of those moments. Very much. Do you think if you ended up in that situation? I think all of us know, we'd probably be similar. Yeah. Right? Yeah. None of us would be the types that would, I think, I could see Arasha playing into it. Oh, she just would be like, no, really, you're firing me? But I need this job. No, I'll show up tomorrow and I'll do it. Can I get my last paycheck at least? Yeah. Think about that. In cash. You're firing me then I demand severance. There you go. On Apple TV. See what you get, sweet deal. Yeah, can you collect unemployment if you get fired from a job that you never worked? I've got to show proof probably. Oh. Comments. I kind of wish OOP went back and asked for severance and the unemployment documentation. That would have been hilarious. Hello. Yeah. Someone said if she had the powers to fire someone, even if they don't work there, that means she's some kind of supervisor or manager. How shitty of a manager are you that you don't even know who your employees are? You'd think she'd at least know their faces. If not, they're fucking names. Someone said I worked at Walmart for two weeks until I found a better job. Managers didn't know who many of their employees were due to high turnover. Yeah, I believe that. I think when I got hired, there were 40 new employees. When I left about two weeks later, another 30 to 40 were hired and on the floor. Unless someone was there long term, they had no idea who worked there. Yeah. Whoa. I figured that's probably why she chased after him because the turnover at Walmart must be nuts. And it's a big building. Yeah. Yeah. I thought I heard once that Amazon's turnover was so insane that they're like running out of people. I believe that. They're like the running out of new people. There's nobody to hire because we have run through everyone. God. Hopefully that teaches them a lesson on workplace. Yeah. It won't. No, of course not. No, it's not. No. It simply won't. Five million people won Amazon. [ Laughter ] Jesus Christ. You know your husband worked at Amazon. You know your husband worked at Amazon with all the people? There's a ring doorbell phone with him delivering a box. So that's where that is. Yeah. Funny. Wait. Update. What? Three years later. Stop it. What? What do we think happened? I think he's her boss now. At Walmart. I think he -- In spite, he got a job at Walmart at a different Walmart. He became a regional manager. Transferred. Transferred. And then fired her ass. Fired her. That's pretty good. I'm thinking they ran into each other. And now they're married. That'd be cool. You married a Karen? Wait, stop. Walmart, Karen. I love you. Stop, thief. You violated the law. Of my heart. Sorry. I'll put it in. Sorry. This first sentence. I've been banned from that Walmart. Why? [ Laughter ] The manager in that story apparently has a memory like an elephant. Kind of looks like one, too. That's what you're talking about. Boom! Boom! Boom! That could mean so many things. She's got a huge nose that goes all the way down and she drinks water through it. Like, an elephant is such a -- that's such a descriptor. Look, kind of looks like one, too. And it's still working there today. I went in to pick up a couple things and return one thing for my wife. I'm waiting in the return line and the person in front of me is having some issue with the return. So the employee helping them calls for a manager. It's the same lady. Recognize her immediately. And as it turns out, she recognized me, kind of. She points at me and tells me I'm not allowed to shop at this Walmart. And if I don't leave, she'll call the police. I asked why I was banned. She said she didn't remember, but she knew I was. So I left. My wife and I have been cackling over this for a couple days and thought you'd find it funny as hell. So this person's just making decisions based on nothing. Out of their mind. Right. Typical manager behavior. Hey, yeah. This is definitely striking me as somebody that's just like power trips. Oh, yeah. And probably explains why they're still probably working the same position at the Walmart and they haven't gone up. Yeah. is partially because of her. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Normally, yeah. - Comments, contact Walmart corporate and inform them that she is harassing you and banned you because she was embarrassed for harassing a customer. He shows up to Walmart corporate and a suit and they're like, "Yeah, okay, so come on in, you have a meeting." - Yeah, we're at the board. You come and sit at the board. (laughs) - He's like, "I don't have anything prepared." And they're like, "You're fucking fired, dude." (laughs) - I like that that comment was basically, "Can you out Karen, the Karen?" - Yeah. - You go to corporate? - Someone said, "Hello, former loss prevention for Walmart here. If they didn't give you paperwork saying you are banned, you are not banned. Walmart can't ban you just by saying you are banned. There is a process that must be followed. Cops must be involved in order for them to legally ban you. Per Walmart lost prevention rules. Most of the time, only people who have been caught stealing get banned. I suggest calling corporate and asking for the market asset protection manager, complain about this manager. Wow. - Okay, yeah, yeah. But you can refuse, you can refuse service to anybody in a private business. - Right, just that she said you've been, she said term of you been banned. - For the term of you been banned. - Right. - Right. - But if she just said like, "Get out of here." - Get out of here. Like I think that's it. - Get out of here, all right. - Yeah. - Someone said, "I've been banned from Walmart for smoking and drinking in the parking lot years ago. I still regularly shop there." (laughs) Update number two. - That's crazy. - Whoa. - Two years later, after that so five years later. Short version to catch people up, I was fired from a Walmart that I didn't work at by a power tripping manager because I apparently looked like someone who worked there. The final update is that recently, my family moved to a new neighborhood around the corner from the Walmart. After meeting the new neighbors, I found out one worked at this Walmart. I told her the story because I still think it's hilarious. And she let me know that that manager, let's call her Gertrude, was arrested and fired. Old Gertie apparently had a history of our people. arbitrarily banning people like she did to me, but nobody really ever complained, so nothing ever got done. She was just shifted from department to department. One day last year, she got a little too aggressive with an off-duty cop. The cop tried to forcefully remove her from the store, which inevitably led to Gertrude punching the cop. She was arrested and finally fired. My neighbor and most of her co-workers have rejoiced. Karma can be a beautiful thing. Once again, when it comes to karma being brought up, this wasn't karma. It was she was doing shit and finally had consequences for it. This is fuck around, find out. Yeah, right. Yeah, she entered the find out phase. Yeah, absolutely. Well, that's if that's karma to people, then that's karma. But you punch a cop. You'll get a rest to prop-- Yeah, yeah. You've paired somebody that's probably power-tripping against somebody else's power-tripping. She met her man. Yeah, right. The Karen final boss. Yeah. God. I mean, that was a pretty good update. Yeah. I like that update. I feel satisfied. I feel good like Ada Snack. Yeah. She's very funny as a fictional character. Absolutely. Just banning people. That's so funny. Yeah, you're banned. You're banned. I'm sorry, you're banned. That's fun. Everyone is just like, oh, I guess she banned another person. I don't know. Everyone just went on the premise of like, yeah, she can do that. I guess she can do that. Yeah, she's the manager. She can ban me. She got arrested. She got arrested. And fines. And fines to cop, so. Yeah. Yeah. And she did it inside the Walmart. It's like, you're going to-- Sorry, Gertie. Yeah, you got to learn to take it outside. Yeah. Then it's not illegal. Right. They say that. They say that. Our next story comes from the subreddit relationships, and this was posted ten years ago. Wow. Our original post. Our oldest Reddit story, I claim. I think 2015's about as old as we've gone, but Reddit's been around since like 2006, so there's some old shit on there. Me, 24-year-old woman, with my SO, a 27-year-old man, of one year, he destroyed a sentimental item of mine and sees nothing wrong with it because of the circumstances. Me, 24-year-old female, SO, 27 male, let's call him Eugene. My sister, female, deceased two years, let's call her Carrie. Oh, I'm just going to sad. Background about my sister. Two years ago, my sister was killed in a car accident. She was riding with a friend to the mall. The friend's parent was driving, and a teenage boy plowed through a red light while texting on his phone and hit the car with my sister, Carrie, was in. Carrie was killed instantly, and her friend June was in a coma for three weeks before her parents took her off-life support. When Carrie passed, I was devastated and angry and just not in a good place. Carrie and I had been extremely close. Despite a seven-year-age gap between us, we enjoyed a lot of the same shows. We went to concerts together. We volunteered together. And I took it upon myself to guide Carrie like any big sister would do. Our parents were extremely busy with work most days, and Carrie and I would often cook together, and do crafts when we weren't too busy with school work. Carrie wanted to be a nick-unus when she grew up, and I helped her find a volunteer position at a local hospital to help her gain some experience, being around patients. In short, Carrie was my sister and best friend, and when she passed, I was a mess. The last craft, Carrie and I made together, was a set of candles. We both bought the wax at a local craft store, and we both made each other a candle and decorated the jar it was in. That was the day before she was killed. At her funeral, Carrie was buried with the candle I made her. The candle Carrie made me sits on my desk next to my favorite picture of her and I together at the beach, or it did, until last week. Background about my boyfriend. I met my boyfriend about a year and a half ago, about six months after Carrie passed. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was still grieving my sister's death, but Eugene came along and it was love at first sight. He was extremely supportive, let me cry on him when I needed to, didn't push me into getting over grieving or anything. He was extremely gentlemanly about everything and very, very patient. After six months of seeing each other pretty regularly, we made it official. Eugene came into my life at a very low point, and he has always been very respectful of sentiments I keep from my sister. Never asking me to take them down, always giving me space when I needed to cry. Eugene, along with most, if not all of my friends and family, know about Carrie's candle. There was a point after she died where I would take the candle with me everywhere out of fear that someone might light it or steal it or who knows what. The point is that candle was and still is a very important part of my life and something that my sister made for me and me alone. When Eugene and I moved in together about four months ago, I packed away most of the reminders of my sister and put out the candle and picture on my desk. I felt that this was a huge step because when I'd lived just by myself, I had pictures everywhere and a few nicknacks laying around from my sister. I wanted to make Eugene and I's home our home with just a small part of my sister there. Eugene understood and was very supportive. The issue. Last week we had a massive winter storm that knocked out power. We didn't have power for three plus days. The power was knocked out at Eugene and I's house while I was at work, which did not lose power. Eugene texted me that he was going to light some candles and try to get a generator so we could have some power or at least be able to charge our phones slash use lights slash et cetera. Now we probably have 30 plus candles in our house. I'm a huge fan of sales and when Bath and Body Works has a candle sale, I like to stock up and get a range of sense. We have candles scattered all over our house. This is a 10 year old story. Bath and Body Works? Yeah, no. It's all around. In the room where my desk is, there are no candles aside from the one Carrie made me. None at all and there never has been. This room is also downstairs where Eugene doesn't spend a lot of time. His desk is upstairs. When I arrived home from work last week, I noticed a bunch of candles burning in our living room. Safely, always monitored and not near anything that could ignite. One of these candles was the candle that Carrie had made me. I burst into tears and when Eugene heard me crying, he came out from the bedroom where he was lighting more candles and asked what was wrong. I was a wreck and couldn't get any words out. When he tried to calm me down, I shoved past him and locked myself in the room where my desk was and just cried. I don't know how he could be so stupid. I thought he understood how sentimental the candle was and how much I cherished having a candle that my now deceased sister had spent time making with me just a day before she was killed. I haven't been able to speak to Eugene since it happened, Tuesday of last week. He has tried to explain why he did it because he needed candles to be able to see but I just can't wrap my head around it. He hadn't gotten to the large candle stash I have upstairs right by the living room but went downstairs out of the way to grab the most sentimental cherished item I have. The candle was burning most of the day while I was at work and is now melted and pretty much gone. I do still have the jar it was in but I can't look at it without bursting into tears. Read it, "What do I do?" Eugene says it was an accident but I just don't believe that. He said he was getting around to lighting the candle surplus we have upstairs but just hadn't gotten there yet. After being home, six hours alone with no power. I am heartbroken and feel like this is a major slap in the face. I feel disrespected. I feel like he disrespected my sister. I just don't know what to do. I just don't feel like I can forgive him for this. Can or should I try to work past this? Ooh. Wow. That's. Oh. That's so sad. I. Yeah. This episode is a friggin' rollercoaster. I know. The dates always have a lot. I understand that she may not be able to get past that and I understand like, "Oh, we can all be forgetful," and stuff, it's like, "That's a pretty intense one." Yeah. That was. And it seems like that was like her big one. That was like her big single thing. That's not like, "Oh, my mom got me a candle for my birthday." It's like, "Oh, I let that." It's like, "Oh, my mom got that for my birthday." It's like, "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize it was that important to you." It's like. I would bet. I would bet money that he completely forgot the significance of that candle. Oh, of course. Otherwise, he wouldn't have done that. And he just thought it was like a memorial candle to be next to the photo, not that I'm like, defending him. No, no, no. It's like, he's either the devil, pure evil, or he's a dumbass and didn't register that this is. Ooh, very sentimental. Yeah, but they've been together for years and they're moving in together and it's like, he has heard this story maybe in the beginning. But I'm not happy. The story that if you've forgotten, this is your person moving in with, like, damn, there's a. I give people a pass on forgetting things all the time, right? Like, we're all forgetful, but this one, I mean, holy shit. Anything to do with grief, like, it's like, you've got to take that so seriously. Yeah. And if he truly did forget, I mean, man, you've got to be so apologetic. You got it, you are going to have to pull out all the stops to show her, and this was an accident. You cannot play this off. Yeah, instead he diminished it, right? He totally did. Like, oh, just a. Yeah, he. Oh. He said, "I needed candles to see." Yeah, it's like, okay. It's not like they have a bajillion candles. It sounds like you can't walk in this house without tripping over a candle. Yeah, they don't live in a cave. Yeah, so she said, like, they have a candle stash. Yeah. But she said she walked in with candles lit, and he came from the other room. Having just lit other candles. I'm like, how many candles have to be in the house? Also, she's saying, like, we're doing it safely. It's like, well, you have candles in different rooms. You need to be in the room with the candle. Right. Like, you need to be. Usually. Yeah, you do that. For the most part. Comments. I would say this is an accident, except he clearly grabbed a bunch of candles and carries candles as well. He knew it had significance to you. Yeesh, I don't know. This is a weird one. I'm a very forgetful guy myself. I'll admit. But if you had told me all of this history about the candle, I mean, there's not any way you should forget that candle as a boyfriend or S.O. or whatever. It pissed me off reading this. I forgot, babe. He would have got a slap to his face. face and I would have walked out. If you can't trust him with something that's simple and yet so important to you, what does that say about his future actions and being responsible for them? There should be heavy repercussions. Stay with your parents until the new candle is done. Show him how unacceptable this is. Someone said this may be the wrong idea and it may not help, but as a sentimental crafter, I have a thought. First, I am so sorry about the candle. From what you said about your boyfriend, I think he just wasn't thinking. It might not even have occurred to him to remember that candles are consumable and the wax would melt completely away. Okay, onto the next step, maybe a stupid idea. It's so so clear that you're still grieving over the loss of your sister. You still have the jar. On her birthday or the anniversary of her death, if that feels right, make a new candle in the jar. Pick her favorite color or something. When you make the candle, pour in all of your love for her along with the wax. Think of it now as something you made together. She made the vessel, you made the love, just the thought, maybe cheese and stupid, but maybe not. Someone lastly said, has he apologized sincerely or just blown it off? The magnitude of his remorse should be your guide in how to take this. If he was just an absent-minded dull, yeah, mistake, but a more deliberate action would have him showing little to no remorse. Oh, he said he actually has not apologized, but instead tried to defend his actions by saying he needed the candle for light and then moved on to saying it was an accident. But thinking back, I don't think he's apologized for it at all. That's your answer, man. If he's not apologizing, then it's easier than that. I think he's the barest. Yeah. I mean, sure. Sure. I think that comment of filling up, if you melt down the remaining wax and combine it with new wax and then pour it into the candle, that'd be a way to at least an interesting way to rejuvenate that item. Of course. It is so sad, though, because I'm sure there is a part of her that thought like she will light that candle someday. Of course. She would be the one to do it. And now that's just gone. And it's gone from this stupid situation, but these types of things happen all the time and I do think that type of comment is important, though. I think the ritual of things is really important. Absolutely. And I do think she needs to do something to like fix this for herself. We want to bring it back for herself and then also to help her move on. Because every time she sees that candle now, she's going to be reminded of this. She's going to resent her significant other. The fact that he can't apologize is just so. No, this sounds like if I'm a friend of her, I'm going to be like, this sounds like this is broken. That's, I don't know how you get past that. Yeah. Up cheese. Okay. Up date from a 20 days later. Good movie. Good movie. Do you think they're going to stay together? I think they're going to break up. I would hope they break up. I do too. Fingy's crossed. Yeah. My original post was the day before Thanksgiving. Eugene and I had planned to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, but that did not end up happening. My way home from work, I stopped at a local craft store to pick up supplies to make a new memorial candle for carry. Thank you to the user for that amazing heartfelt suggestion. My parents and I spent a day remembering carry and making a new candle using some of the wax from the original candle. I also ended up purchasing a locket and having some of the remaining wax from the candle put inside and the locket welded shut by a friend. On the evening of my post, I got home and Eugene said he wanted to talk. I agreed we needed to clear the air before Thanksgiving so we sat in the living room and started to talk. I was not ready for what he told me. A few commenters from my original post seemed to hit the nail on the head in a way. Eugene told me that when we first met, he was extremely turned on by the fact that I was essentially a damsel in distress. Bro, no. Oh, he wetting crashered her. I just lost my sister recently. I was in a massive depression. I wasn't myself and that turned him on both sexually and in a protective way. Oh, no. I just need men to do something like anything better. God. Yeah. Over the past few months, I've started to become more myself. I got promoted at my job. I've joined a cooking class and have gotten out more and I've definitely moved away from being a damsel in distress in the eyes of Eugene. He went on to explain that he burned the candle in hopes that it would throw me back into that maze because that is the only time he felt he was attracted to me. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Eugene? No. This is Eugene. So he is pure evil. He is actually. All right. This is all. All right. Permission to kill. I guess we should always consider that like men, men be horny, you know? Right. And any, and any motivation to do anything could be horny, horny. Unfortunately, this is one of those cases. Oh, my God. I, I, I, we're sitting there and I was like, there's, there's the chance you did it on purpose. And I was like, there's no fucking way. What do you think was going to happen? She'd like just restart and be like, oh, please have sex with me, man. That's crazy. That's right. He is not attracted to me unless I'm upset, crying, and a damsel in distress. When I prodded for more information, he told me that every one prior to me that he had dated had either just experienced a loss or was in need of rescuing. Eugene told me he was no longer attracted to me. He dreaded having sex with me because he could no longer be the hero that was rescuing me, which is what turned him on in the first place. Brother, that is what roleplay is for. You dumb fucking idiot. He did not rent a castle, Jesus. He didn't like to go out in public with me because I had started to put myself together more, like not just wearing a t-shirt and jeans like I did when depressed, and that attracted the stairs of other men that he saw as a threat, taking away his damsel in distress. Eugene had a whole laundry list of things he hated doing now because I wasn't in a funk anymore. I told him if that was the case, then we needed to break up. He agreed and said he would go stay with a friend until they could make new living arrangements. My name is the only one on our house, and I told him I would give him 60 days to vacate the house which he agreed was fair. Over the past few weeks, I've spent a lot of time with my parents and with close friends. I don't really feel like I've been dumped or broke up with someone. I just feel like me. Carries Candle sits on my desk where the original was, and I wear the locket every day. Thank you, Reddit, for listening. I appreciate it more than you know. Oh, jeez. Wow, wow, wow. I just think it's so wild because obviously this guy has a fetish. You could fulfill those consensually in the bedroom with something like role play. You don't have to try to manipulate your partner to get her into a state, to turn. And he admitted that he prays on these people who are either grieving or going through shit. Yeah, because he's too cowardly to try to find another way to get his rocks off. That's crazy. It's what we read about people doing things that sound fictional. I believe this story though. I know these types of people are real and it's just like, man, you watch a movie sometimes and you're like, oh, well, the villain wasn't believable. Right. Because they were just evil. And then you sit on see this and like, oh, this guy was evil because he was horny. That's the thing. That's all it took. Many such cases. Like, truly, it's just like, oh, I'm turned on by your despair. I'm like, that sounds like horrible. That doesn't sound like a real guy, but it is. Yeah. Jesus. What I loved about that last thing is that she was like, I don't feel like I've been dumped. I don't feel like this. I feel like me. Yes. And I'm like, that's beautiful. I am God. I am happy that she is getting out of this. Well, I think he wanted to get out too, because he wasn't feeling it anymore. I truly, this is a situation where I'm like, I hope karma finds this man. This is where karma will. I'm like, death, do your thing. Like, what I do. Him admitting all this shit to her like, oh, I only date grieving people. I'm like, you're giving a villain speech to her? Right. It's just one of those things. He hasn't, he hasn't done the internal work and he's just working the only way that he thinks he can. I thought I'm giving any like, no, no, not like the explanation of why he's acting that way. Yeah, that's bad. And it's like, we can all see it. And it's like, all right. Let's move on from that. We'll go on to our final story, which should hopefully be a bit of a palette cleanser. We'll see. This is a crazy episode. This is a crazy one. It really is. Do I tell my wife the truth after 11 years? All right. Looks like we're in for another doozy. Well, that he could be Santa. I killed, I killed JFK, JFK 11 years ago. When we first started dating, my girlfriend asked me what my favorite meal was so she could cook it for me for our one month anniversary. We were 16 and I told her my favorite meal was chicken parmesan. She cooked it for me from scratch and it was delicious. However, I realized that what I meant to say was chicken alfredo. I felt bad that she went out of her way to cook what she thought was my favorite meal. So I didn't correct her or myself. Fast forward to now. We've been together for 11 years, married for two years. And once a month or so, she still makes chicken parm for me because she thinks it's my favorite. It's good, but it's really just not my favorite. At this point, - It's way too late to tell the truth, right? - Ooh. - You don't have to. - Okay. (laughing) - I should have solution. I have a solution. He's like, "Hey babe, have you ever had chicken alfredo before?" And then he has, he's like, "Oh my God." I think this is my new favorite food. - It's your new favorite food. - Oh my God, I love this so much. - I also feel like this is something that isn't too intensive a thing to wear, depending on the couple and the right person, this could now become the coolest, funniest bit for them to share. - It could. - You know, oh, the parmesan, let's have a parm. - It could, unless it doesn't. - Unless it doesn't. - He's like, actually, I meant to say chicken alfredo and she's like, "Get out of here." - Okay. (laughing) - Go. - Go. - Her ex was name Alfredo. - She just slams the butcher knife into the cut. (laughing) - What if she's like, "I know. I've known this." - I've always known. - Oh. - Chicken alfredo would be easier to make too, 'cause you don't have to like-- - Oh yeah. - She's been breading that chicken all the time. - Yeah. - Oh. - That involves an oven. - Chicken parm is delicious though. I don't know what he's talking about. Chicken parm is amazing. - Yeah, well, I mean, he's still-- - He's still eating it. - He's still eating it. He's still eating it. Comments. I have been with my husband for almost 25 years and it would make my week to find out if he had been covering up his alfredo goof for this long. At this stage of our relationship, finding something new about each other to laugh about is gold. Like, I learned something new about a story from his childhood, his family always tells, and I was thrilled. Someone said, "Yes, it's too late." And the fact that your wife still does this for you after all these years means chicken parm should absolutely be your favorite dish. That shit is made with love, man. The purest and best form of love. Do you realize how lucky you are? Someone said, "Ask her to make chicken alfredo and hype it up so much and say, "I might be reaching, but this might be my new favorite." How did you manage to do that? And just talk about it so much, and then when she asked what you want for a special dinner, pretend to be stuck between the two. Scratch your head and sigh and say, "You know, I really think I want chicken alfredo. Last time you made it, it was so good. I've been craving it ever since." - Smart. - Or you could tell the truth. - Okay, well, well, well. - We don't tell the truth in Reddit stories. - That's weird. - I don't know. - We're all about love. - No, no, no. - Update. - Okay. - 10 days later, what do you think happened? - I think he told her. - I think she's cheating on him. - Right. (laughing) - She's having an affair. - She was in the Bonnie Blue video. - Oh. (laughing) - She was the flutter. Oh. - Sorry. - I'm glad my travesty brought so many of you joy. I apologize for taking so long to update you all, but I was vexed with a life-altering decision and needed to weigh the responses I received. I ultimately decided to tell my wife the truth. I'm not sure I made the right decision after all, because I am far more embarrassed now than I ever was over this. I've never seen my wife laugh the way she did that night. Just when I thought she was done laughing, she would start up all over again. We now have this incredible insight joke for the rest of our lives together. Huge thank you to everyone who commented their advice. - I told you, depending on the conflict of being a credible bitch. - I feel like communication always just results in a stronger bond. - Absolutely. - You should make up a lie to Courtney and then reveal it 10 years later. - I never drowned. - No, I did that shit. - No, I did, I did that shit. - And you did it well. - Yeah. - Yeah, you're really succeeded with that. - I feel like, yeah, Courtney and I have plenty of, I mean, we have our wedding is kind of a funny bit, first of all. - What if, what of course was like, I don't like ramen? That'd be crazy. - That'd be crazy. - 'Cause she's the one that makes it. - Yeah, I don't think Courtney can fake anything when it comes to food. - Okay. - When she does not like something, everybody in the room knows. She'll drink something she doesn't like, she'll be like, yeah, she could not hide stuff well. Unless we're playing werewolf and then suddenly, she turns into a different person. - Exactly. - I don't get it. - Well, I thank God for this last story being fun and lying. - Yeah, that was great. I love that happy ending. - We end on chicken parm. - Chicken parm, we always end on chicken parm here. - I don't want chicken parm now. - Hey, breadsticks for the whole family. - Yeah, all breadsticks. Are they coming in? - Yeah, and a little bit. - Come in. - Wow, well thank you both for this wild ride. - Hey, thanks for driving. - I feel like I said this last time I was on Reddit stories. I was like, this is one of the, I feel like this is one of the craziest stories and I feel like this one, I'm like, this is one of the craziest set of stories. - Yeah, this was wild. - I think that's, he'd find in them. - They don't stop. - You're always supposed to remind me when you find old ones that we've never seen. - Yeah. - My damn holy shit. Thank you both for joining me. - Thanks for having us. - Thank you for watching and we'll see you next Saturday for more stories. - Goodbye. - Goodbye. - James, I need that $10,000 right now. - James, that $10,000. - Give it to us. - James, I need that $10,000. - James needs that. - James needs that $10,000. - His business is gonna go out. - Please.