Wow. Wow. Wow, this is some really deep stuff. I don't know what just happened, but something happened inside of me. It's a deep, absolutely deep thing. I wasn't expecting that I'd hear it. Ah, sorry. It's okay, it's all right. Beautiful. Moss is like really small, but it had to become dead to stop me. You remember her child? He became present, and eventually did. I didn't realize this until now. There were things that I didn't remember until now. Funny, but few then before. It did. It feels like I'm the monster. I can't see images of things. A world where they can exist. It's clear it brings all kinds of answers. It's clear. She like, hugged me, and then went back to her place, I guess, in my heart. Oh, it wants to come out. It wants to pivoting, pocketing, boop, Cinderella. Like, she's like melted into my chest. It's like, ooey gooey. All week, then, innocent things, laying out more, starting to eat faster rules again last week. And it kind of just started happening. It's almost like I just finished going through a meditation session. I feel like, like, you know what I mean? We hit that first joint, like, in the morning. I actually feel a lot more, um, a week. Okay, that was a minute. Okay. Do you have any parts that you'd like to get to know better or change your relationship with? Yeah, definitely. Okay. Yeah, I feel like last time we worked with the anxious part a lot. And like a sad part kind of kept coming in. Right. I was like some other things going on, but I definitely remember like those two being like, yeah, more present. And then at the end of the session, I was also like, oh, like, like, kind of realize like that there was like, um, maybe a part that I hadn't identified the whole session that I was maybe a little bit blended with. Um, just because I was feeling like kind of small or like the shrinking feeling. Uh-huh. So yeah, I guess I'm like, serious about that. And like noticing when that comes up and like, there's been a few other times where we really noticed that, like feeling of wanting to kind of disappear. So yeah, I guess that's a part that I'm interested in like getting some like space from and looking at. Right. Yeah. Okay. And can you locate it now? Can you find where it is in your body? Or how it shows up? Yeah, I think it's like a feeling of like wanting to like, like burrow, like under the ground or something. Um, yeah, and definitely shows up maybe like physically of kind of more of like a collapsing, just like around my shoulders. So yeah, I guess I feel like in my back, and just kind of like an energy like pulling me down or like towards the ground, but not in like a grounding way. More of like my upper body's being kind of pulled down. Okay. Yeah. And as you're noticing it there, how do you feel towards it? I don't know that feels a lot harder. I don't know if there is a part of me that like is compassionate towards it, but then I also feel like there's like kind of a overwhelming feeling and there's that anxious part like that's yeah, related or coming in at the same time. And also maybe like a part of me that's a bit annoyed about it. Okay. Yeah. All right. Let's see if you can get them all to notice you. And you can just check if any of them have any objections or anything more that they want to say or need from you. In order to let you go and meet that small shrinking feeling part. I think the other thing I have coming up and maybe trying to tap into that feeling more is like it feels maybe like associated with like also like a like a burning feeling kind of like in my stomach or yeah, like I guess I've been thinking a lot about shame too recently and I think this is like the same part. So I just want to name that too. I'm trying to like get clarity on like what this part is like distinct from the anxious part or the sad part or so yeah, I guess that's another thing. Okay, another feeling that it evokes. Yeah. So I'm having a yeah, I guess I'm still having a hard time like getting. Putting some distance between that feeling and and self. Yeah. Well, how about the anxious or annoyed parts today. I think that I think that the anxious part feels like kind of braided together or something with this. Like shrinking part like so I think it feels like a little bit. I guess concerned like if this part gets like tinkered with like well, we'll happen to it because it's kind of connected. And yeah. I don't think they annoyed part cares at all. Yeah. Yeah. How would you feel about talking more with that anxious part? Yeah, how do you feel towards the anxious one? Yeah, I think just kind of like. I think because we focus on that last session, I guess I feel like. Some more recent like compassion towards the anxious part or like. Just like, yeah, like I see that you're working really hard and type of feeling. And then also like there's still a part of me that's like, okay, like it's a lot though. So maybe it's saying the anxiety is too much. Yeah, like I think I'm just a little bit like. I don't know if like. Exasperated is too dramatic, but it's kind of like that feeling of like little tired here. Is it tired of is it tired of the anxiety coming up? Yeah, I think I think I'm, yeah, feeling. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So let's let the one who's tired about the anxiety.
Just let it know that you see it. That makes sense. - Okay. Yeah. - And you could ask it if it needs anything from you to let you just continue going to whatever parts or calling for your attention. - Yeah, it's like asking me to like, stop being so messy basically. Like it's like, and I'm asking for like efficiency. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Does that make sense to you? - I think so. Yeah, I think, yeah, I'm trying to frame that in like, because I'm still kind of like, speaking to it a bit like, okay, what does that mean? And then I guess I'm getting a sense of like, yeah, just like, I think it's revealing to me like, the way I get in the way of myself, right? And so. - Or it's getting in the way of self. - Yeah. So I think this tired part is like, could we, step out of the way or could part step out of the way a little bit more? I don't know exactly. - Yeah. - How to freeze it, but yeah, that's the request. - When it says not to be messy and to be efficient, is it talking about being, is it talking about being efficient in IFS? - Yeah, I think it's like, okay, like it's kind of saying like, for today, like you're gonna go talk to this like shrinking part and like, could we just not be messy about it, you know? Like. - All right. - Yeah. - Yeah. So that makes sense to you. - Yeah, it does. - Makes sense to me too. - Okay. Yeah. - And I just wanna let it know for me that, I'm also, you know, keen on being efficient. I think, I think that this process is maybe the most efficient if there ever was. And so I'll also look out for that. - Okay. - And that it's totally normal to have parts that, you know, there's this part that's got this certain feeling and it's saying, okay, go to it, go fix it. But we're always going to run into other parts. And so I find the most efficient way is to acknowledge them, just like we're acknowledging it right now. How's it respond to that? - Yeah, it likes that. - Yeah. - It's like, okay. So yeah. - Yeah. I have one other question for it. Which is about, it said, stop being so messy. - Yeah. - And I was wondering if, I was wondering if it kind of feels like internally it's messy, like not just this work, but that that's kind of who you are or that your system is particularly messy. - Yeah, I think that might be true. - Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel towards it when it says that that's true or might be true? (mimics the audience) (mimics the audience) I don't know, I guess like, maybe the attitude shifted towards it a little bit. Like, maybe how it feels towards like, critical a little bit, like I'm kind of like, maybe there's like, like I want to take it with the grain of salt, I guess. - Oh, you mean like, yeah, you have the attitude of like, don't just believe what this part is saying. - Yeah. Like, I mean, I can see what it's saying. Maybe the sad parts also here to be like, okay, wow, we really have that belief sometimes, you know, but like, - Yeah, well parts, what part has that belief or parts do? - Yeah. - Okay. Just let this sad part know that you see it, welcome it. And it's also normal to feel like, very parts to feel like, we're messy. - Yeah. - I personally think it's kind of something to celebrate. I mean, we're complex. (silence) - What's coming up for you now? (laughs) - Yeah, maybe just like a little bit. It's happened last time too, but I feel like, I can kind of like just get distracted. So I just face out. - Yeah. - I'm curious, did it feel like the distraction came up as a response to the sad part? - Yeah, maybe. Yeah, like I think I got like, yeah, I think the sad part was more present, but then I was just like maybe like, it's like, okay, here's the part and then how I feel about the part and then how I feel about that part. And then someone was like, kind of a lot, I was like, so are all these feelings part? I was like, and then I just kind of dissociated. - Yeah, yeah. Okay, well the distracted parts are also welcome. - Okay. - And that also makes total sense. - Okay. - You're right, we've named six, seven parts, maybe. - You a lot going on. - Yeah. - And so it makes sense. It makes sense and then the sadness comes up and that's you know, a feeling that you probably don't want to be feeling and then it's just some distraction can come up and say, all right, check it out. - Yeah. - Yeah. So for any parts that think this is too messy or that there's too many parts, I just want to let them know that I get it. I think that's super common to feel, I was going to say in the beginning, but maybe always, I mean, there's so many parts. - Yeah. - And they're always there and they're kind of always going. So I just want to also let you know that so far, I've listed all the parts that I've heard and I feel like I have a pretty clear, I've got them numbered here on my notepad and it doesn't feel like too much to me. It feels normal and like they're all welcome and they're all parts that we can get to know and it would be good to get to know. - Yeah, I think the like more dissociative or spacey like part or just like, yeah, I mean, I think it's kind of related to ADHD but just kind of like just is inattentive. I prefer the HD, like it just comes in. I think it also happens in my life when like I don't like know like what the direction is. So I can be like really aware of like all the things going on or I can kind of like, especially emotionally, like I can name like, feeling and I can like feel how other people are feeling and it's like, there's a lot of awareness emotionally but then it's like kind of this like aimless feeling or like I don't know what to do with that or how to move it. - Right, so yeah. - Yeah, yeah, I think that's a really, I think that's a gift. I think it's a great place to be. You do have this awareness of all these feelings and you don't have a strong direction in that, we have to get rid of this one and this one's good and this one's bad.
and so yeah I would just kind of invite you to lean into that a little and acknowledge that and really welcome it. Yeah. Like I also don't have a real clear direction here. Yeah I think that's what my dissociating part like wants a little bit. It's like maybe that's something that like as I'm kind of leaning into it and like what it needs like I feel like. Yeah I don't know sometimes I think that's kind of yeah it needs like a little bit of structure needs like what I'm allowed to focus on like because I have a hard time switching my focus from one thing to the next thing. So it's kind of like when I can give it a little bit of a path or a little bit of an intention even like that even as loose as just an intention then it feels like easier. Yeah. Yeah. It all makes sense to me. Would it be helpful to you or to that part for me to kind of explain some of some of how I would see a structure of this conversation how it might go. Yeah. Like where we are and where we might go. Yeah. Okay. So in the beginning of any conversation. You know I'm doing what I'll call targeting and so and you're right it is just like picking a part and going to it and you and you showed up and you said here's the part I want to go to and then and we've met six others and so we're in that kind of first phase of how these conversations usually go which is and this is also how they usually go where yep people show up and they got a part they want to go to and usually there are several others who have something to say about that and so yeah we just kind of spend some time letting that happen letting those other parts show up so that even if we don't continue a conversation right now with any one of them we have we at least kind of know who's present so okay so yeah it is kind of it is it is like that in the beginning of conversations that we're just kind of feeling around in the room of who's who all is in here with us okay yeah and then worst we still have the goal of targeting so usually around now once I have a list of parts concerned about direction part distracted parts sad part maybe a critic in there somewhere one one has anxiety one who says that the anxiety is too much and then the very first part you showed up with you can let them know that we've now seen them all that they are welcome and you can invite them to notice you you can ask which one at this moment needs your attention the most yeah did it did it feel like they were able to notice you? yeah yeah and do they actually feel welcome because I know that's a lot easier to say than it is to to do sometimes yeah I think it's sort of the tired part I think like the because there's a heavy feeling to like yeah maybe like there's I think there's a part maybe I haven't named it or something that's like I don't know then what the name of it would be but like is more like kind of pushy or kind of like like okay like what are we doing now? like like push me apart and the same part that's pushing is like okay we know that we wanted like work with this like shame part and we've been doing so much work and we want to use this method on this work and it's like that part is like yeah just really like clear about what it wants and then the heavy part is kind of like okay but like what's it gonna be like you know just still like I think needing like more of that reassurance that like this isn't yeah like gonna be as sufficient as it can or like that I'm not gonna not maybe me but the parts aren't gonna like stir up more to process later like just kind of this like maybe I'm trying to work with like the consensus of the group to be like yeah no we're not creating another mess right now like like not gonna be doing that we're just gonna like like like smooth things out kind of like I'm trying to explain to the group almost like what the overall intention is like more from that like self-place yeah so it's like trying to tell them yeah what I mean what I intend to do yeah what do you intend to do well I feel like it's like I feel like sometimes I like work with kids and I I guess I feel like it's like it's like hey y'all like we're not causing any more drama right now like we need to talk this out you know like that kind of like just like no we're having a conversation so like everyone's needs could get met like not so like one person can get in trouble or something like that it's like yeah I'm just trying to show them that that's intention that I have and I think that was hard to place for a while like that I wouldn't like take sides maybe they all think I'm gonna like take sides which is very normal because that's that's kind of what they're used to that's how they're used to operating yeah they they kind of take your attention and they say no we're doing it this way and then right and then we get kind of pulled along by different parts and yeah you're exactly right this is this is saying okay how about instead of that how about I listen and just listen and and kind of make more of an intentional decision about who to attend to yeah yeah and about that part that you very first mentioned wanting to go to it sounded like it could likely be an exile part to me okay and and so that would also it would make sense to me that several protective parts would have something to say about going to an exile yeah and the and they all might also be saying yeah but that's where we need to go that's where like maybe they recognize that that's where some underlying burdens are and they and they could be right I think that there are a lot of ways like that certain parts like yeah do come out around those feelings so it's kind of like maybe I'm like a little bit going backwards or something but I feel like the reason I I did that part to work with is like when I feel that way that's when I like behave in ways that I don't necessarily want to be behaving in right so maybe I like get snappy with someone or like defensive or maybe I like shut down and I can't talk I can't work through something and I like
leave or I, you know, yeah, hurt someone because I withdraw. So I think that, yeah, maybe I see that as like a source of other behaviors, but it's interesting to like frame it like, oh yeah, because protectors are popping up. Right. And the protectors are those other behaviors. Yeah. The defensiveness, the shutting down. Yeah. They're all that's their way of dealing with that exile feeling. And yeah, I think that again, you know, I said earlier about like, I don't have a direction. Yeah. But but actually, yes, I do want to get to that exile. And and also that, um, we typically do need to and it's good to hear from all these protectors before just diving in. Yeah. Yeah. This makes sense. How are they all feeling? Is it settled a little? Yeah, I think I'm more so able to like pick up on like differing opinions, maybe like, um, like between different protectors, but I do feel like because I'm like, I think pretty anchored right now in self, then like, maybe more than I was at the beginning of the conversation, I think that the energy does feel like it's calm down. So there still might be like, yeah, polarity in the parts, but I'm not in between it as much. So yeah. Nice. Okay. Well, thanks to all of them. Is there one that feels like it needs your attention the most? Hmm. I don't know. Sometimes when you ask me to pick one that dissociating part is just like, like blocking me. Yeah. Cause I just can't love it. I don't know. Okay. It's fine to come up with empty. Yeah. It's so common for me, I think to kind of, yeah, space out. So I don't know. I'm feeling very curious about this space out dissociating part. Would it be okay with us getting to know it a little bit? Sure. Yeah. Okay. So you're aware of it and how it shows up when it does? Yeah, I don't think I've ever like kind of personified it like this. Especially because the feeling is kind of like nothing or just like not being able to do other things. Right. So it feels like the emptiness hasn't really allowed me to like look at it and be like, oh, you are a character in this. So that's like a new feeling, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It can be a tricky one to get our arms around, but sometimes that's those are the most important ones because if they're coming in, they're taking, they're taking you out and they're taking you away from the anchored feeling. Yeah. Then we should, yeah, learn about them and see how we can address their concerns or work with them. I think this part like holds a lot of like, or maybe comes from certain thought patterns. So like, I don't know. And then this part comes in or like, yeah, like if I'm a little bit unsure or I don't know how to make a choice, like it comes up a lot around choices. So like a sense of like self-doubt. And then this part takes over. Okay. So self-doubt and then check out. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So can you run that by it? Has the part, if it has concerns about whenever you're feeling unsure? Yeah. It is. Yeah. It, I don't think it only, it's not like only that it has, I wonder if it's only that it's concerned. Like that almost doesn't feel intense enough. Ask it what it wants you to know. Ask it anything it wants to tell you about itself. I think that. Okay. Yeah. I think that it sort of does have a function where it's like, ask me to pause. Like, yeah, it wants me to pause. It's afraid that I'll be, yeah, stuck. It's afraid something bad will happen. It's afraid it's related to maybe also to like some perfectionism. So like, it's afraid I'll mess up. Yeah. Yeah. Does that make sense to you? Yes. Yeah. I'll let it know that. And you could ask it. What would be so bad about that? What would happen if you were unsure? I don't know. It's like, yeah, I guess I just laugh because it's like, what? You have to be sure. Yeah. What's the bad thing that will happen? I don't know. I don't know. Okay. I just want it to know for me that I believe it. I believe that it does have those concerns and I believe that those are valid. I think it wants. Okay. I think this part wants to be able to focus on like, whatever it wants or not focus. Maybe it wants to be able to not focus on whatever it wants. I don't know. So I think it's kind of like, oh my gosh, it is so just, yeah, interesting like related to neurodivergence and like having a lot of different like interests. And I think it's like definitely concern that if I like make an intense choice that will like trap myself from thinking about other things, doing other things like to you know, be expansive in that way. So it's like a interesting like a mental like catch or something to just like keep me, but then also it keeps me from not doing things I want to do. So. Right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I just thought I know that you get that. Okay. Yeah, it was concerned about you making it making a choice. Yeah. I wonder if that's kind of like the parts that we're concerned about you taking sides. Yeah. Yeah. If you pick with this part, then that means you're not picking all those other parts and might be doing it wrong. Yeah. And this too like can be related to just sort of like a paralysis that I feel. Mm-hmm. A lot of times. I don't know if that's a separate part, but yeah. Too many choices. Yeah. Yeah, I get that.
Yeah, so this part shows up, kind of hits the reset button and keeps you from getting sucked into one of the other. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think that Noi part is here at seeing all this and it's just like, oh, it's so annoying. So annoying, so messy, right? Yes. Yeah, it's a beautiful mess. It's a system that works and it's the system like we all have that it works because of it's because of these dynamic tensions. You know, it keeps one part from taking over by having a hundred parts that compete. Yeah. Yeah. The sad part is also here. Hey, sad part. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you want to hear from that one? No, I know what it's saying. Okay. Okay. How do you feel towards it? I think pretty neutral. Just like wanted to name that it was here. Yeah. Yeah. Like, all the parts that I talked about earlier, like make sense. Like I understand their orientation toward the like dissociating part. Yeah. Yeah. And they're all welcome. Yeah. And invite them to notice you again. Make sure the sad part notices you. The annoyed part. Just let them know that you have space and time to meet with all of them. Yeah. I think they're not actually trying to get in the way of me talking to the dissociated part. I think they're just like. Maybe responding. And I don't think they need too much attention. They just like. Yeah. Did kind of come a little closer. Maybe to see what's happening. Yeah. Your conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is a lot like a room full of kids. Yeah. And turn to one. And then they'll just kind of gravitate that way. Yeah. Or one of them throws a tantrum about you doing that. So I know I'm not saying any of yours are tantruming, but. It happens. Yeah. It happens. Yeah. Yeah. The intensity of like, you have to listen to me and they'll do whatever it takes. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And in this practice where we're showing them how eager we are to listen to them. And that they actually don't have to scream for our attention. And that's what we want to see them. We want to welcome them. Yeah. I think that they're just like encouraging me to. In some ways, I feel like maybe I have everyone on board. I don't know what it is, but just like. Yeah. Like to understand like what I need to know like from the dissociating part. And I guess like the messaging around like. That I need to know. Or be sure about what I'm doing. And just like, yeah, I guess I'm trying to negotiate a little bit with the dissociating part. And. Yeah. Kind of be like, well, what if I didn't know like, can we can we acknowledge that I don't know and. And still explore something and maybe like I can make a sort of a greener promise to dissociating part that. I'm going to still make choices that will like give me free to explore other things. And that I won't be afraid to like change course. If I need to. Yeah. Yeah. That feels good. Yeah. And you can also just show that dissociating part appreciation for. It's concern about about all of that. Yeah. You could also ask it how old it thinks you are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just update it on your real age. Yeah. I feel really content. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And is that in partnership with the dissociating part? Like does it also have some reassurance? Yeah. Yeah. You could ask it what it needs from you in the future. Yeah. Yeah. I think it does want to. Yeah. And even though it's kind of just like nothingness. And. Just it appreciates that. Yeah. You can ask it. Yeah. How it wants to be seen. If it wants to take on some identity or. If it has a name or. Outfit or anything. Yeah. Yeah. It just reminds me of the clouds. And. Yeah. I guess I feel like it wants to type of like. Yeah. Agreement with me that I will like. Just include it in my calculations. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How about those parts that were concerned about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think they're like pleasantly surprised. Right. Yeah. Me too. I'm always pleasantly surprised. Yeah. Because yeah. We go in without a direction. You know. Okay. We go in with. Trying to access self-energy, which. Doesn't have much of an agenda other than to listen. And to understand parts. And here you've met a part that. Or you were. I'm not. You weren't unaware that it happens. But as a part, what it needs. What it thinks of you. It wasn't part of the calculation before. Yeah. I think like to be able to be a little efficient. And I think that. And I think that. And I think that. And I think that. Yeah. So I'm just feeling. Like a bit emotional or like. Yeah. I think the sad part is just like, oh, wow. There's just been a lot of. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's. Everybody's got parts. And they're. And their parts want to see you.
It's important to other people's parts that you that you play the same game that they're playing So yeah, you're not taught this I wasn't taught this our parents weren't taught it Our schools aren't teaching it yeah, and it is sad and he's sad But here we are yeah Yeah, I'm just like hearing thank you and wanting to share that to you, but also to myself Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks to all those parts Yeah Well Um Just circling back to that first part Yeah Small shrinking one Yeah Can you let it know That we haven't forgotten about it Yeah, and that And that you can you can keep it on your list It can be something that you intend to get go to yeah and that and the process might look like this Yeah You know We got to figure out all the cards in the deck or at least the relevant ones Yeah It's about and that and that isn't that is about efficiency ultimately. It's also about safety Yeah, it's about you know one of the very first parts said oh, we're gonna go and tinker with this And And I had a concern about you know tinkering Uh Because yeah, it's a delicate delicate ecosystem So I just thought it know that we won't forget about it That sounds good If any other parts that have any other concerns or requests of you For maybe how you stay in touch with them going going forward or Questions for me No, I don't think so I feel like I just made a little bit of a deal with the pushing part. I was like yeah, we're not gonna do that um And it's like okay, it respects that so That That came up but I don't think anything else Okay Yeah Cool I'd love to be a part of that if you want to keep work with me. I'll send you some more links and We can meet them all Okay, that sounds good. Okay Anything else in other questions final comments anything I don't think so yeah, thank you so much. Okay. Thank you. Yep. Have a good night. You too. Thanks. Okay. Bye Do you want to help bring more self-energy to the world? If you'd like to participate in calls or help out with this project in any way I'd love to hear your ideas Join the discord server or contact me at
[email protected] A huge thanks to our audio engineer Ivan for your care and diligence in editing the calls To every caller for your courage in sharing some of your parts And to anyone out there getting to know their internal system Keep going Who knows that might be the most selfless helpful thing you can do for others and You're the only one who can do it If you'd like to see us reach the largest audience We must please the almighty suggestion algorithms at iTunes and YouTube And they don't care about the power of ifs They're looking for likes and shares and comments and the sooner the better Follow the links in the show notes right here in your podcast player to make your wishes known And now a minute of meditation or if you prefer Pull over you can do it in 60 seconds just click one of those links They're right there and give us a like or a five-star rating. It would really help If you think this project is helping people you're helping people by sharing it Thank you You You. You
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