Ontonio Kareem Lived a Double Life

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Like Dan and Hannah, who always wait up to make sure their daughter gets back to her college dorm room. Or Tiffany, who's running late as usual, and her friends are tracking her trip to make sure she's actually on her way. Look, she's right there. She's three minutes away. Or Sam, who never goes anywhere without her roommate knowing exactly where she is. Some journeys are meant to be shared. Share your ride in real time with Share My Trip on Uber. One more way Uber is putting safety at every turn. Learn more on the Uber app. Just the worst guy. Just living two different lives like I was in a black fraternity. Turned up, cool, and then I would sneak off and be with the white philosophers. Let me pop out when I want to pop out. Seriously, like, I'm trying to pop out twice a year, bro. Yeah? Twice a year. You just, you did Fallon in the first, like, two weeks of the year. So you've got one down. The rest of you, you've got one more appearance. Yeah, I'll see y'all in June, man. It was Fallon, right? Fallon, yeah. I didn't make that up. You just did Fallon? I just did Fallon. How was it? It was great, man. Yeah? It was great. My mom flew out, dad flew out. Cool. Two best friends flew out, man. I cried. Aw, yeah. Yeah, it was cool, man. I had a little beautiful moment, man. For a brief second, when you said mom flew out, dad flew out, two best friends, I thought you were referring to them as your two best friends, and I was like, I was about to cry. I was like, that must be the coolest thing in the world for them to hear. Aw, that would have been kind of corny if I was just like, my two best friends. No, I would have loved that. Are you kidding me? No, man, it was beautiful, dude. I had, like, hood niggas in Fallon's studio, just two dreadheads in there, like, listening to Chief Keef. It was great, bro. There's a feeling, a different feeling, but a similar one that I have as, like, I just grew up really poor in Missouri, so I'm often in these spaces, and I'm like, we were never supposed to be here. I know that about you, man. The one time I talked to you, like, we had a conversation on the street, you, like, got a hood reference, I was saying, and I was like, Caleb, what the fuck? Like, we got mutual friends, and I'm like, Caleb really know about this shit, bro. That was crazy. It's a funny thing. I never, like, there's a funny thing that happens a lot. I don't know if I've talked about it on here before or not. I've talked about it somewhere, but there's a funny thing that happens a lot where people that are not white will talk about, they'll be like, oh my God, growing up X, everybody knows Y. And a thing will be said that I'm like, it's not my, it's not my, it's not my, it's not my business to engage in that, so I keep out of it. But a lot of those things, I'm like, oh, actually, we're talking about being poor. You know what I mean? No, real talk. I like a lot of things, like, someone will be like, like, I had a friend in college once, and this was when I learned to, like, keep my mouth shut. They're like, oh my God, growing up Mexican, we always, I don't even remember what it was, but like something in the household. And I was like, oh, no, we had that too. And they were like, oh, that's not really the point. And I was like, right, right, right, right. I was like, no, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. Oh, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, this isn't really for you, even if that's the case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, okay, no worries. No, let the poor whites tell you. Let the poor whites. Who's going to think of the poor white people? We had a few poor whites in my neighborhood, man. Shout out Gage, man. Gage, what's up, dude? I'm shouting out Gage. Yeah, give Gage some love for once. You grew up in Chicago. I grew up in Chicago. I spent half the time in the city, like Southside, and then South Suburbs. So half the time as in you moved, or half the time as in you were going back and forth? I was going to see my dad, and then I was going where I liked it, with my mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Was dad in the city or mom in the city? Dad was in the city, mom was in the Burbs. Gotcha. But the Burbs were not good. What do you mean? I was in Chicago Heights, which is like a terrible place. Yeah, of course. Yeah, but it was fun. It was ratchet. It was good. Why did you like mom's house better than dad's house? Resources. No, same. Going to my dad's house was better. No, same. My dad's house was war. Bro, my dad had one, just a loose couch. Yes. I slept next to a weight bench. Yes. I was like, dad, bro. Even as a young kid, I'm like, we got to get some decorating done, dog. You can't just be sleeping like this. I'm telling you. My dad, same thing. My mom had a home with like, I had a room, and it's where I lived. I went to my dad's house. He didn't, there was, he moved a lot, but there was a period of like four years where he lived in one place. I didn't have a bedroom, so I slept in the kitchen. No. And you're thinking, oh, he put a bed in the kitchen? No. I slept on the floor in the kitchen. Pallets? Like a little like air mattress and a sleeping bag. Your pop's a little alive? No, he's dead. Okay. So it would be nice. No, I'm kidding. You're kidding. That's crazy. Yeah, dad. Dad. Well, you know who's to say. But the thing is, it's not like he slept nice either. Like, he slept on like a really shitty like 20-year-old mattress they just happened to have. Like, he just didn't, all my dad wanted to do was. Like, play video games and drink. Damn, Caleb, we had the same daddy. Yeah, what's rock on? Rock on. Yeah, shout out. Hell yeah, you know what? Man, my dad, it was just like that. As a kid, it was fun because we would wake up and my dad was obsessed with like kung fu movies. But we would just wake up and watch Kung Pao all day. Hell yeah. I didn't know he was high until I got a little older. I was like, oh. You're like, he's liking this way more than I am. What's going on? Fuck with this kung fu shit, bro. Just a high-ass dude. Yeah. Just with a little baby kid. And we just watched kung fu. And that was our relationship for like four or five years. That's sweet. It was, yeah, it was cool. That's nice. He was fun. I mean, he's the reason I'm fun, I think. Yeah. Because my mom was like, when you go, the repercussions of having a home and nice shit is that there's rules and regulations and shit. They go hand in hand. Yeah. Which is unfortunate. Yeah. Yeah. It's really unfortunate to have rules. Yeah. I feel like you get to have rules. You get to be ratchet around that. And then, mom, you got to fucking button up. Yeah. So I had that dichotomy. Wait, so your parents weren't together your whole? No, no, no. Oh, for real? They were, yeah, they worked at the same factory. And my mom got broken up with or got out of a relationship. And my dad was in a relationship with someone. They hooked up one time and she got pregnant with me. What? And then she was like, I'm going to keep the kid. And then I'm, I don't know if my dad said, please don't. But that was definitely the vibe was like, please do not have. What are you doing? Yeah. He was like, for real? And she was like, yeah, my mom already had a kid. So she was like, fuck it. One more. And my dad was like, I, I'm not interested in being involved in that. And then he came back around, but. Oh, that's fine. Yeah. At least he came back around. You know what? That's how I feel. I'm like, good for him. He did the best he could. Hey, man, look, I'm a dip on my kids at some point. No, no, I'm not. I'm getting the fuck out of there. I'm going, I'm going to need six months at least for a fuck off time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Six months of me time. Let the kid figure things out with mom. He's fine, bro. Hopefully, I really hope I get to have nepo babies. Yeah. Black nepo babies, man. I really want that. Yeah. I want my kids to be fucking just go anywhere y'all want to fucking step around, shit on people, be jerks, bro. I work this hard so my kids can be little assholes, man. That's what I want. Yeah. I really do want that, man. Because I feel like it's our turn to have that. Yeah. Because Jaden and them didn't do it well. No. Jaden is, I find him so interesting because he's so, seems so melancholy about it. He seems pretty sad about the situation. I'm like, Jaden, he's always like crying and stuff. I'm like, life's pretty good, Jaden. What's going on? Oh, for real. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, every time he pops up, he's like weeping and saying, like his Instagram captions are like, none of us make it out of this thing alive. Enjoy. And he's like teary eyed. I'm like, you're doing good, brother. Yeah. I'm like, Jaden, stop crying, bro. Nah, bro, what are you sad about, bro? You, that is the best point I've heard about Jaden. What's wrong? Bro, like, just, just on a yacht, like, oh, man, what does it all mean? Brooding. Brooding on the super yacht. Yeah, I get that. No, I don't want no Jadens. I want Willows, though. Yeah, she's cool. She's fire. And she's talented as hell. Her album, that little album, the Brown album when she got the Afro? Yeah. I don't know what it is, but that's the best album I've heard in a long time. You can't deny it. She's a beast. And she, she be, she do the armpit hair. She out here living her best life. Well, you know she's talented. She's got the armpit hair. Yeah, she does. She not shaving her legs. She free. Yeah. I love it. I love to see it. And she seems happy. I like it for her. She does, yeah. Now, Jaden, my nigga, I'll come get you. Come get me a hug, dog. Let's hang out. We should get, you should get Jaden over here just to hug. I would hang out with him. He seems cool. He seems, yeah. He seems awesome. - That's a little sad, I could cheer him up. - I think you could, you're a cozy guy. oh yeah we'll hang out we'll have a good time i'll remind him of how good his life is i'll be like relax everything's cool everything's handled you tell them about the factory that your parents i mean i will say actually like i think if i was born into extreme wealth and like perfect circumstances i think i would be very sad like i don't think because then what is there i don't know it just almost feels like your agency is removed it's just like oh you're set for life i think it's just his parents yeah well there's something going on i think if i think if we was born was just some nameless faceless rich people we'd be fine but yeah you got will smith in there fucking just dancing and rapping and shit like my dad is a dork bro will smith has destroyed his legacy though yeah but the red table talks long before the oscars thing things were slipping out things were slipping out it was cracks jade was saying things every once in a while that i was like wait what so y'all had august in here i was like what what yeah yeah she you're right nobody's dissected this for real for real i feel like we talked about it on the surface but it was cracks a long time ago man there were cracks it would also be crazy like to watch your mom play that role and set it off like to can you imagine watching one of your parents play that role no bro like that's crazy yeah just flip on the tv struggle braids just like truly like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know fucking fucking the guy for the check having a parent as an actor why are you holding on crazy crazy crazy crazy crazy your dad doing a cabbage patch on your dad's a clean rapper you gotta get school supplies aj not understand why you're sad yeah you know what i take it all back yeah we understand it you got empathy for you dog wait is your dad is your dad showing you kung fu movies how you got into jujitsu maybe yeah yeah so i have a stepdad who raised pretty much raised me from three but i think the shit my dad showed me he was like a fucking that was like the conspiracy theorist really yeah he's the first guy the first one he's the prime mover on conspiracy theory general dog this dude man i think he's the reason i'm kind of because my mom's just a black mom she's just trying to make sure i'm like successful this dude we would go to bible study and we'll come back from bible study and he'd be like so what you think about jacob's ladder what do you think about that the intensity of this impression even and you are six years old he'd be like what you think about jacob's ladder i'm like i guess god showed him a beam of light he was like it was a spaceship i'm like yo i'm trying to watch anime dog and then he'll flip and he'll go through it and be like it says a wheel of fire what does that remind you of i'm like all right bro just a couch floating in an empty room at his house just sitting dog it was it was a weird place to be at six dog and i would go to school and have to just pretend that i believed in god the same way everybody else did like no i think god has a flying suit saucer though yeah you have to go to school with all these sheep yeah they don't know the truth they don't fucking get it y'all fucking walking around here you idiots fucking dumbass i'm all i almost envy you guys yeah i wish i was ignorant because you don't have to know what i know man that's a big ass yeah he was just he was og flat earth og anunaki you know the anunaki no what is that oh jesus what is anunaki oh my god all right oh shit teach me yeah put me on anunaki is supposed to be this race of aliens that came this is i'm hell yeah i'm already interested no no this has got to go in race of aliens that came there's fourth dimensional aliens right they're meant to they're basically angels they're meant to watch over human beings some of them got a little spicy came down here made it with human women fuck created she got a little spicy came down here made it with human women fuck created created giants god didn't like that yeah flooded earth oh noah yeah oh fuck then we know that once he killed all the giants the anunaki created this form of from the remaining humans that were here who were like savages yeah implanted their dna into us created this version of humans yeah regular size yeah regular size yeah yeah or fun size compared to no one the giants yeah and that's where we think like our idea of what we're worshiping is really like false gods yeah there's a one true god and then there's like these dimensional beings and that's what he like taught me there i just i flew up that but it is that's the gist of it it's like all the bibles all the religions are based on these anunaki creatures because that's why they all kind of follow the same storyline so there's like these being like both and egypt is basically jesus now i'm listening to you but i want you to know i just saw a painting in madrid okay the uh it's called the fall of the giants it was painted in 1636 i liked it so much that i took a picture of not only the painting but also the little description and i got in trouble because i didn't know you're supposed to take pictures this woman comes over the works of the english and i go i go un poco espanol but english and she goes don't take pictures and i'm perfect in english oh yeah she nailed it like it like it might be the only sentence she knows in english other than espanol or english no don't take pictures but the description is uh jordan's based himself on a small oil sketch by uh non-brussels inhabitants of the earth the giants aspired to reach the heavens and were consequently punished by the gods um oh ovid narrated the episode in their fall episode of their fall in book one of his metamorphoses the giants attempted to take the celestial kingdom piling my mountains up to the distant stars then the all okay and then they got destroyed by lightning but that i've never heard of that oh then they got destroyed by lightning but i thought for a second i was hoping reading the description it would be like uh the same thing you were talking about but it is i think there's there's i believe there's some kind of truth to it maybe like i do believe in other beings and dimensions and all of that but i i don't know if they were like if it was a concerted effort to come down here and just fuck on people yeah you know but i do think there are stories of giants in every religion it's so funny every time that uh we like as humans think of other beings like when we think of god or when we think of aliens we always assign to them the same like stupid petty like base things that we have yeah we're like we're like and then they ruin the earth because his lover cheated on him it's like i doubt that they're trafficking in that kind of shit my horny up there yeah you know what i'm saying you think they're horny in the sky yeah bro fourth dimension i think you get rid of horniness in the fourth dimension god i hope so me too what a curse it is sick of this shit being horny it's ruining everything no i need to be put down like a sick dog yeah chop it honestly let's get we gotta evolve past this bro horniness horniness get it out of here get it out of here it's ruining my weeks yeah how so i want to get shit out of here i want to get shit out of here i want to get shit out of here i want to get shit done i'm like maybe i should call i'm trying to read norwegian wood and i'm like maybe you know what let me call i'm gonna call someone i have no business talking to i don't even like this girl but let me call up that was that was deeply honest what you just said that was deeply honest because we do i i have tried to grow up a little bit in my mid-20s i would break things off with a guy that i was not interested in and then i would get horny you know three weeks later and then i would get and call him and then of course like yeah we enjoyed hooking up but that's so irresponsible and like mean yeah to know that someone likes you more than you like them and i i have really tried to grow i almost did it two nights ago oh my god we getting now we speaking the same i'm it's like i didn't know we were the same guy we're the same guy yeah we are i have i struggle to think of a difference that's my thing i i think i like i'm i've grown past it too like when i turned 30 it kind of it really shaved off a lot yeah but i'm like i can't use people to self-soothe yeah it's like yeah i'm sorry fuck yeah we know we're supposed to serious time whoever needed to hear this i guess damn no that's true but yeah so i'm trying to get away from that but the horniness is a problem man it's like it's like anything goes like i i don't drink i know you don't drink no not much all the homies don't drink really yeah so i need we need you know we have a problem right now where cannabis like weed hangout spots like we like weed bars and stuff it's not working we need like a dive bar that does like cannabis drinks and lets you smoke joints yeah and but i think the vibe got to be correct they still trying to put the club vibe in the weed spot cut it out cut it out get the grass wall out of here get the fucking grass wall get it out of here get the neon the cursive neon dude Dude, dude, dude. Get all that shit out of here, bro. Get the cursive neon the fuck out of here. I need water running over rocks. Yes. I need some smooth shit. Play the Charlie XCX. We can play some Tame. Give me one of those little gardens where I rake the sand in a pattern. What are those called? The most obvious name. Dumbass. Let me rake the garden, bro. Let me rake the gardens. Yes, bro. It got to be a vibe. Like, every smoke spot, a weed comedy show, you been one of those? No. It's, oh, Caleb, thank God. Is it bad? It's ass. Damn. Nobody really wants to be laughed. If I don't know you, I don't want to be laughing around you while I'm high. You ever try to laugh with a stranger when you're this high? What's fucking funny? Dude, are you fucking laughing around me, dude? I will fuck you up. Is it the audience is high and you're high? Yeah. The worst combination. Because then you start doing your little inner monologue references, and that ain't for everybody. Yeah, I'm, like, doing memes from Instagram on stage, and people are like. It's like, all right, this guy did not write a single joke. Yeah. Now he's just, like, a high brain that's taking him somewhere else. Are your ad campaigns lighting up the dashboard, but not the pipeline? That's Bullspend, and marketers are calling it out in Dashboard Confessions. My boss asked for results, so I opened my dashboard for the only positive-sounding metric I had. Impressions. Cut the Bullspend. See revenue, not just reach. LinkedIn delivers the highest return on ad spend of major ad networks. Sunscreen. Snacks. A stapler? Shop, pay, manage your account, and earn rewards all in one place. And with purchase protection on eligible items, biometric security and pass keys, you're protected at every step. On any journey using Uber, it helps to know you're getting into the right car. Pin verification adds an extra step to make sure your ride is your ride. Before the trip begins, your app gives you a unique pin. Just tell it to your driver, and they'll enter it in their app before the ride can start. Hey, what's your pin? Mm-hmm, 2538. That way, you know you're in the right car, taking the right trip, and your driver knows you're the right passenger. Make sure your ride is your ride with pin verification from Uber. I have never been, uh, it was kind of an interesting thing I noticed in Chicago. I've never been high or drunk on stage. What? Ever once in my life. Never? Never. And I never, I always, I guess I'm not opposed to it for other people. Everyone do your thing. I'm opposed to it for me. Nobody do they thing. No, don't do your thing. Don't do your thing. It's bad. Everyone do my thing. I noticed in Chicago, like, when I first got there, everyone was, like, a lot of people were getting, like, ripped to do improv. And I was like, you have to be drunk to do improv? Doing that on improv is scary. Crazy. I can't be under the influence of improv. No, I can't be, I don't want to be high on stage because I need to be so, like, I need to be so locked in. Partially, this is because I bet people are better at it because if people have really tight jokes that are, like, very memorized to the word, that's not my style. Mm-hmm. I bet that's. I bet that's a lot easier under the influence because it's just in your body. A hundred percent. I'm very, like, shifting things around all the time and taking off ramps and picking new, like, I need to be, like, actually cognitively present. Mm-hmm. But if you don't, I bet it's a lot of fun. I'm sure it is. Like, the white boys I've seen that are very much, like, Trump and they'd be fucked up on stage, but they're just reading a book, basically. Yeah, they have, like, rote memorization. Yes. And they are just regurgitating. Yeah. Which is a cool, I think it's a cool skill. It's just not the way I do it. I wish, I actually wish I had that. Yeah? A little bit. I wish my pen was a little bit more fucking college APA style a little bit. But me, I feel like me and you are vibes. We get up there, like, and we got jokes, but it's, like, we flowing. I'm curating. And if I'm high, I'm up there, like, yo, everybody okay? It's okay? That's the counselor in you. Yes. That's the therapist in you. I wish that guy would get out of here. Get him out of here. All the empathy is still there. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. Get the counselor guy gone, man. Are you still doing that? No, we've finally done it. That's what I thought. That's in the past. But, yeah, that's, like, four or five months out from nine to five. Yeah. Yeah. But I'll miss, I'll genuinely like doing it, man. I really do. Like, I wish, I think I'll start an organization and kind of bird's eye it now. Yeah. I don't want to be on the ground no more, bud. I'm not an infantryman. I need general work. Don't send me front line no more. These kids. I love y'all, but y'all, I hope y'all doing well, man. But it's a lost cause. You were a children's counselor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for a long time. How'd you get into that? I went to college to be a neuroscientist. UChicago, right? Yeah. Well, UIC, then grad school, UChicago. Nice. Quickly realized I'm not fucking operating on nobody's brain, dog. I got to organic chemistry. I'm like, all right. I'm not going to be in the OR. I'm high in organic chemistry. Like, yeah, okay, cool. And then I switched to psychology, and I got really into that. And I was like, at one point, doing philosophy and all this bull. I was a dickhead in college, bro. Really? Just the worst guy. Turned up cool, and then I would sneak off and be with the white philosophers. I was tripping, man. But I realized, like, I wanted to come back. Like, sneaking off to hang out with white people is so fucking funny. To, like, secretively hang out with white nerds is so funny. Hey, bro, anybody who know me knows that's my existence, bro. Like, I sneak off and hang with y'all, bro. I love y'all, man. I ain't gonna lie. But it needs to be a secret. Yeah, it does, yeah. That is so fucking funny. Oh, it was so funny. Like, legit, in, like, fraternity parties, like, doing our frat shit, and then, like, sneak off and be like. Do you read, um, meditations? Oh, it's great. Just having dialogue with people is just fun. But I realized I wanted to, like, go back to Chicago and kind of change. I had that idea. Like, I'm gonna change the hood. We're gonna do it, man. We're gonna get the kids together. First job, I was like, oh, we can't get these people. We can't. It's not happening. It's not happening with me. Yeah. Maybe if I get enough money, maybe I could throw money at it. But at this point. Yeah. Yeah, it was, um. But I did it for a long time, man. I really enjoy it. The kids fuck with me because I'm not, like, going by the book. I would, like, come in, and it would be like this. And eventually, you do that enough with a kid, they'll tell you what's going on. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And then you can work from there. But it's trust, really. Trust is everything when it comes to trauma for me. Yeah. Yeah, so. That makes sense. What fraternity were you in? Alpha Phi Alpha, man. Come on. Yes, bro. The first. I got in so much trouble one day. My friend who was in a black fraternity. Chance, do you remember this? Chance went to college with me. We went to college together. Wait, where'd y'all go? Missouri State. Missouri, okay. Yeah, and I, we were at, like, a tailgate for a football game. And I was in a fraternity. And we had, like, a hand, a joke, like, a silly hand signal that we, like, made up. It wasn't, like, a, it wasn't an official organizational thing for us. And. You know, the black fraternities have their stuff. And I was asking my buddy. I was like, wait, I can't remember what y'all's thing is. And he was like, I was like, what's your guys' hand sign? And he showed me. And then I was like, I was like, oh, it's like this. And I went to do it. And he literally grabs my hands, throws them down. It's like, are you fucking crazy? And I was like, why? He was like, you'll get both of our asses beat. Put that down. We had opposite. So I was sneaking off with the whites. You were sneaking off. I was like, oh, my bad. No, it's serious, dog. It's very serious. We got to calm down, though. That's not my business, but I was very, I was very upset the whole day. I was like, fuck. I screwed it up. I was like, I'm in trouble. Yeah. You were in trouble. I was in trouble. I've seen people get beat up about it, man. It's bad out here. Yeah, I think I had enough goodwill to get away with it for two seconds. And that's about it. The third second, we would have both gotten our asses kicked. For that. But it was, I learned a lot that day. Yeah, it's that serious. It's like, so the thing is, it's like, black fraternities are different than, like, I don't know what your fraternity is, but it's like. I was, mine was not a historically black fraternity. Okay. Yeah. I don't know if you guessed that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of guessed. There are some, there's always like one or two white guys. Shout out Brendan, man. Right. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It's just, we take it. We take it a little bit more serious because it's like, we needed the fraternities. Yeah. And colleges and all of that. It's historical, whatever. I keep making it so serious, but it is serious. For sure. So it was like, yeah, I'm glad he smacked your hands. There was no part of me that argued with it. The only thing I thought was, why didn't I think of that? Oh, that would have been funnier if you did. Well, what? What? I've seen white dudes do that. Do what? I've seen white dudes try to stroll. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let's get into it. Yeah. I mean, we. - You really are such a humiliating, That's humiliating to hear. It's bad, man. It's so, but it's, I don't know why sometimes it be endearing a little bit and then you be like, I cut that off. I'm like, no, this dude's a fucking dumbass. It's not, it's what, I mean, yeah, I mean, I obviously can't say if it's endearing or not. It's not my place. But I do think the note that I would give a lot of white people is like, everyone that you want to like you will like you more if you just do your thing. No, say that to the, bro. We put piano music behind this. Dog. White dudes got to understand, and this is crazy that they don't know this already, but like, we just want y'all to be wacky whites, bro. Please. Just be. Oh my God. We love it when y'all just be white. Yeah. It's fun. You come up fucking, and not, that's hysteria of the white people, but like when a white dude's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. We're like, yes, you don't. Thank you, bro. That's what we want, man. Stop trying to mesh everything up. Like, let it be suffered, man. Yeah, and it's like the heart of it I know is that the genuine heart, I know so many white people like this, and I'm like, your heart is that you want this black person or this Mexican person or this Asian person to know that you, you're like, I like you and I want to be friends. But yeah, like most people just want you to be authentically yourself, and that will get you so much further than trying to like imitate. Like, and also if your truth is, yeah, I think the truth is the thing. If your truth is that you actually grew up in a non-white neighborhood and you have a lot of the same like experiences and ideas and culture, then that's your truth. And we can tell. Yeah. Like, one of my favorite rappers is a, oh, no, she's not my favorite. Okay. Let me, hold on. Let me calm down. No, wow, I'm getting out of hand. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. A good rapper right now is this white girl from Indiana. Yeah. Georgiana. Have you heard of this lady? Georgiana. She's terrible at rapping. Oh. But she's doing it honestly. Yeah. Like, you can tell she just loves to rap as this little white lady. She's like, huh, hmm. Most of her aliens are just hot dudes. She's like, what? She's confused as hell, yeah. But she killing it. And it's like, do that, man. I'm okay with that. Like, I'm not, I don't want to mesh cultures, honestly. I'm cool with it. Y'all can, we can come, we can visitation. Yeah. Visitation. We can have racial visitation. Racial visitation is, needs to be the name of something immediately. A special. Somebody. A non-profit. Yeah, man. A 501c3. Racial visitation needs to be something immediately. A hundred percent. Let's get racial visitation fucking popping, bro. Please. Racial visitation. Honestly, we're going to start racial visitation. It's a podcast. Yeah. Let's do it. Racial visitation is our podcast. It's going to be once an episode every six months. Yeah. Just to check in. Just check in. How are things with you? Oh, it's great, man. What have you been watching and listening to? Let's share. Let's share. That is so funny. Yeah, man. So, I feel like that's the. For the whites, I guess, y'all just keep doing y'all things. You know, white people, white people, if you need anything, reach out. Let me know how I can help. Let me know how I can get you to not be strolling. I don't. That is so humiliating. Oh, yes. That's what I was talking about. That is what we got here. That guy. Yeah. It's. Because they see you just having a good time. Because we all having fun strolling. For sure. And we getting all the girls. And then they fucking. Try to. Just. Try to. Just like. Please. And you can't really beat his ass. You just got to, like, mush him and pat him. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. Not mush. Yeah. We was. He don't face mush. We was. Yeah. That is so funny. Yeah, man. So. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. 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Grab a handful of TrueFru when you're watching TV. Or maybe when you're winding down at the end of a long day. Or put them out on the kitchen table next time you're hosting friends or enemies. And watch the show. And watch the feeding frenzy begin. Be sure to save a bag for yourself though. Trust me, they go fast. So next time you're at the grocery store, be on the lookout for those blue bags with fruit found in the freezer aisle. Thank you, TrueFru, for sponsoring this episode. Brendan, who you shouted out. Yeah. What was the haircut? Oh, that's so funny. He came in with the white, the quaff. No. He came in, quaffed it, left with a fade. I knew it. He's faded now. I knew it. Ended it. No, there's no chance he did. He didn't have red hair. No. Not a white guy with a fade on red hair. That's the classic one. Brendan, hey, he was a dirty blonde. Wow. Or what is it called? Strawberry blonde? Strawberry blonde. Dirty blonde is crazy. Wow. I know Brendan. I've met him in many lifetimes. You've met Brendan. I've met Brendan was very much social justice. Yeah. Shout out to him, man. He was a good guy. The first time I met a white guy like that was he was a line cook at Applebee's. Oh, the line cook to a black fraternity. It's a line cook to a black fraternity. Yeah. It's not a joke. It's not a joke. And I really liked him. I was a host there. And he was like 10 years older than me. And he ran that kitchen like the goddamn Navy. Yes. And I was like, I like that guy. Wait, that was your first job? No. My first job was at a Golden Corral. Ooh. I got, I will say, I got there. I was supposed to be just working the cash register. And then I showed up. And I was like, I want to do this. I want to do this. I want to do this. Yeah. And I was like, I got there. And then I showed up on day one and they were like, you're also going to decorate the cakes. And I was like, oh, you can't go cake. I said, oh, that felt because I was not out of the closet. But I was like, that felt a little homophobic. They saw something in me. You'll do the cakes. And I did. I decorated the fuck out of those cakes. Oh, well, then they was right. Putting the little carrots on the carrot cake. They saw the talent in you. Dude, I was because I don't know if anyone's ever eaten a Golden Corral. Every slice of carrot cake in the. In Golden Corral has a little tiny carrot design on it. And frosting. That's beautiful. I was going crazy on those things. Also Golden Corral, best cinnamon rolls on the planet. Thank you for saying that. Yes. Golden Corral, Bourbon Street Chicken is something so special and powerful to me to this day. I went to a Golden Corral in Springfield, Illinois, bro. Let's go. When they took us on the Lincoln exhibit, shout out eighth grade. Shout out Abe Lincoln. Nah. Whatever with him. This isn't about. This is about Golden Corral. Yeah. Bro, I've never had a cinnamon roll that fucking good in my fucking life. Special things are happening in Golden Corral. Are they still around? Oh, they're around. Oh, we should hit that up. What? Dude, I would love to go to Golden Corral. Last time we were on tour, I made everyone stop at a Golden Corral. We should get the squad together. Let's go to a Golden Corral. What is the nearest Golden Corral to New York City? Chance? I'm looking it up. Thank you. Oh, my God. I took the homies, all the New York people that lived here their whole life, they never been to Cracker Barrel. Okay. Nope. There's one in the Bronx. There's a Golden Corral in the Bronx? Yeah. Van Nest. Whoa. I don't know about that. I'm not. I'm wondering how I would be received up there. If I. fat ass walked into the golden corral in the bronx if they'd be like hey there's a limit don't don't come up here and be crazy i'm no offense to the bronx i don't think they got the spirit for a golden corral it needs i don't know if they have the space there a golden corral needs a certain level of space to radiate the energy that it needs to have that is true every golden corral is like a palace yeah it you see it shining it's like one thing there's nothing a 40 car park you need 40 you need like a 400 car parking and a moat in front yes legitimately legit wait hold on nah we got so i drove the homies that never we drove out of the city to go to crackerberry crackerbarrel crackerbarrel is chance's favorite restaurant he loves to stop at a crackerbarrel and you know what michelle who's not here right now michelle i learned only after hiring her i might not have uh if i had known she also loves crackerbarrel and her goal is to eat it like every one of them in the country and now i'm terrified for when we go on tour next because i'm gonna be outnumbered yeah okay not every she trying to go to everyone she not does she mean it i don't know but she loves a crackerbarrel i'm not gonna lie crackerbarrel i put up with whatever's going on in there yeah i walk in i'm like yep yep yeah i don't like that i'm here yep yep yep serve me up yeah what are you getting in there potato i'm going i'm doing the casserole casserole They got this hash brown casserole. I didn't even know about this, I don't think. Oh, my God. It's cheese in there. They seasoned it up. Oh, we got to go, bro. We need a Golden Corral and a Cracker Barrel. Hash brown casserole, steak tips. Whoa. They soak them in garlic butter. Whoa. And then I'm a snob for French toast. I genuinely am scouring the country for the best French toast. Let's go to Cracker Barrel. 100%. I wonder what the best French toast I've ever had is. I know I've had some good ones. I can't remember where the best one I've had is, but I'm going to think. Actually, have you ever had a French toast with a, I don't remember the place I had this most recently, but sometimes they'll serve French toast with, like, an orange cream, like, glaze kind of thing. Yes. That, to me, is very special. Little Goat in Chicago. Yeah? Best French toast on the planet, yo. Wow. So they do the OG maple syrup. They chop up the strawberries, but then what they do is, little crunches of chicken, fried chicken, crunched little popcorn chicken. On top? Sprinkled on it. Woo. Yeah, that's really special to me. Oh, I cried in that joint, bro. That's really special. I cried. I was dapping everybody up. They're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, all right, yeah. Okay, bro. That's so funny. Yeah, but that's my bag right there. Wait, I have a question for you. You, okay, so we're done child therapy. Forget the kids. We're not worrying about them anymore. Comedy full-time? Full-time, baby. How's it going? I'm doing really good. Yeah? Yeah. Are you good with the free? Okay, this is my question. Yeah, okay. Me neither. No. I thought my whole early 20s teens when I was working all the time, I thought, man, once I have free time, it's over for everybody. I'll write a movie a day. I'll write new jokes. I just was like, I'll do it. And I can't, I cannot get myself to use my free time. I'm not disciplined. I wake up at 3.30. P.M.? Some days. I wake up at 3.30 and a huff, and the days rush to the coffee shop, drop my shoe. Coffee? You need to go get dinner. I'm still acclimating to, because, you know, I've worked nine to five, so I'm like, the first few months, I was just like, I'm waking up when the fuck I want to wake up. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Now, I'm to 11 now. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, 11. I mean that. I still hit the gym. I still do what I got to do, but it's late. that makes sense to me I mean also if you're doing a lot of I a lot of comics do I know that a lot of comics do this I had so many comics are sleeping as late as they possibly can in the day because they're going to do a 2 a.m spot at wherever the fuck 100 but what you're saying is I always thought I'm sitting in my nine to five like doing a session with a kid they leave out I do my notes for the kid and I'm rushing to write jokes or thinking about I felt way more creative during the nine to five days honestly it's actually same and it's been really distressing to me yeah because I hated my I hated my days then I liked my life but I hated I hated having to be somewhere I have a real problem with authority it's like the most identifying thing about me 100 I don't like I don't even like when I tell me what to do like I resent being told so we gotta go to the gym I'm telling myself you're gonna tell me to write jokes okay fuck me we'll see I fuck you to me I hate like I hate being told what to do which are you on your birthday I'm uh it's this week oh shit happy birthday you come my birthday party now are you on my close friends no yes you are am I you gotta be Antonio you have to be on my close friends I better be on that close friend if I check right now and you're not how embarrassed I will be oh my god yes Saturday night what are you doing Saturday night I'm at your party this won't be out by then so I feel very comfortable uh wait yeah I'll be there well a problem has been remedied um don't worry something just got fixed um it's a costume party okay I'm with that you gotta get a costume what's the what's the thing there's it's like Halloween no theme the only thing I will tell you is it's so funny because Nori Reed was in here you know Nori yeah Nori she was in here yesterday hanging out and she told me her costume idea and she was like she was like yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna wear just like a dress and I was like it's not gonna cut it like you can't you can't you can't phone it in on the birthday and then I posted a close friend story being like hey everybody Nori just told me that she was planning on wearing a dress at the party there's several days before the party I just want to let anyone else planning on phoning it in to know like you have time to make a different choice people start dming me I'm getting dms I someone messed me and said two nights ago I had a nightmare that my costume flopped that's the kind of tight shit I'm creating a culture of fear at the birthday party people come in shaking is my costume good enough oh okay so I gotta lock in now I'm scared to be on the close friends no when you get on close friends you start out in trouble and work your way out I gotta get my shit together no the way I put it is like I'm so serious about the costume it's an open bar there's a great dj work like it's gonna be a great night vibes the way I put it is if you're planning on coming as like Jake from State Farm oh no that shit pisses me off if you could walk down the street and someone wouldn't know you're in costume you're gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like oh my god I'm gonna be like yeah you know as well as I do that you phoned it in yeah I wouldn't do that to you I know you wouldn't no that's not you but I you definitely need to come I will be there come have fun it's gonna be and I what I here's what I'm gonna tell you it's supposed to be seven degrees on Saturday I am already anticipating the text I'll get on Sunday they're like hey so sorry you know a pipe burst no it didn't yeah it was cold and you didn't want to do the uber and I'm already I'm prepared I'm preparing myself to be gracious I'll tell you one thing bro I get creative with those excuses oh yeah to the homies yeah oh man you wouldn't believe the things I can come up with oh yeah we get in the mud I'm doing more creative writing there than I am on my set my best writing is in them text messages I'm going to town man yeah I'm not going just grandma no it ain't grandma no grandma's healthy I'm I'm pulling a picture I broke my finger I broke my finger for real like five years ago yeah I still got the picture please not you're gonna be using that picture when your hands don't even look like that anymore exactly yeah but I'm like it's only dislocated so we chilling yeah but I'm sorry don't worry about me yeah that's the thing is you have to come up with something severe enough that your absence is excused yes but not so severe that they start sending flowers uh-huh but I I am in that thesaurus though you I'm using it I'm using them words yeah this ah this bequeaths me yeah indubitably I have encountered oh my goodness man yeah but I won't hit you with it no no no we're gonna be I feel that you'll come through and it's gonna be it's gonna be very fun and you're single yeah there's gonna be let me tell you something Antonio you can't think of a better room in the country to be in than a party that I'm throwing if you're a single straight man Caleb we run somehow we run in the same circle a little bit yeah we have adjacent circles yeah I've been in those rooms with you and your people it's I was not single the first time but this time I'm gonna have some fun that's okay I'm ready for this that's this is what I'm you're gonna have a very fun night I there my friend I might I guess I won't name him maybe it would embarrass him I have a single straight guy friend who's a very talented musician at the party last year every once in a while I would cock my head and find him and he would be in a corner just these girls are he's like there's a member of the blue man group trying to get his number you know what I mean like he is just like cornered crawling up the wall truly these girls are feral because when I straight women don't get we don't talk enough about how these women are feral so I the the Fallon shit man yeah my dms look like Mardi Gras right now yeah yeah people don't talk about and I think I'm the only man that can talk about it a little bit and I'm sorry y'all these girls man they wild and it's bad when was your last relationship because now I'm trying to get to the bottom of what's going on with you because we can get to the bottom you're a conventionally attractive very funny uh child therapist who's a comedian that also dresses well you have good style thank you and you're a nice guy so i'm like either you're a serial killer or every woman in the world is really bad at dating but something is going on i'm not a serial that is a pipeline though yeah all the attributes yeah he's murdering people are there yeah yeah i got empathy so i'm not murdering people yeah i'm a hoe okay that's a problem see that's what it is that's what it is when are you gonna settle down i don't know okay how long are you gonna do this i don't know it's it's uh about three more years you think so no no no that was a joke immediately backing off of that about three more years you think so no no no no the thing is because i truthfully and i am that i want to be i want to have a family and all that shit but it's i got that thing in me man yeah i got that hunger i have that darkness that darkness keep looking yeah it's uh i don't know when i'm gonna settle down i think i have this ideal woman in mind and that's the problem you shouldn't be walking around with too much of an ideal yeah of something you should let that whatever is for you come to you naturally instead of projecting out you should just let you should let the thing come to you so i'm trying to work on that and i got shit shit i need to work on before i can like really be with a girl that was the problem with the last relationship yeah like i couldn't i couldn't yeah yeah i couldn't yeah too much damn you that is some male hoe that that sentence was so convincing and rehearsed you you are a male hoe that that like no i've got my own stuff that i need to work on before i can it's not you it's not you it's not you i'll fuck with you yeah yeah when i figure my stuff out like who knows what we could be that's the problem and this that's the thing that was my little topic i was gonna tell you you can't be authentic and attractive this is what's so true to you yeah you can't be authentic and attractive like authentic it's annoying yeah what do you mean by that like i am myself like people but people always think i'm faking yeah people think i'm like this is a character you being like a nice guy me being a good person they hate that shit yeah like you don't hate it and the homies don't hate it no yeah we're buddies but most people are like you fucking shut the fuck up nigga oh you work with kids yeah yeah oh you got it things you gotta work on yeah my dick i can't if i was a straight guy and i was out in the market competing with you i would kill you oh yeah i would be i would be in the comments of every video you posted being like didn't laugh once yes bro they are this guy dude i'm i'm in war bro i'm at war it's bad out there that must be really hard no it's not no come on it's hard caleb stop it's not hard at all it's just it is the truth though like people don't like that shit and it's fine it's fine like i i'm gonna continue to i kind of like you like being the villain i think i'm learning too it was hard at first because i am a nice guy i've only ever heard people talk positively about you though do you don't think there's like a you don't think there's like a genuine i understand what you're saying it's we're halfway being silly but also it's kind of true yeah but you don't think there's like a genuine opposition to you do you like you don't think people are actually annoyed with you no no it's play i think it's more so like a tongue-in-cheek type thing yeah yeah people are like oh my god i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do it like right yeah but it's not there's a little bit though there's a little bit that's annoying shut the fuck up but it's like we can go to the costume party together yeah yeah like it's fine there i think a problem with dating right now for everybody too is like or a problem that i feel anyway i guess i shouldn't make it everyone's problem is like the the problem of choice like when you're with somebody and things are a little difficult that you go like oh this they're getting on my nerves or this this thing of theirs is brushing up against mine which is going to happen have you ever heard of porcupine theory no i don't know if this is the official name of it but like the idea is and i'll butcher this there's some whoever came up with this made it much smarter someone just google it and you can hear the actual one but the gist of it is uh it's a theory about like human intimacy and the idea is that like porcupines when it's cold out they need to get close to share warmth but because they have spines inherently they're going to hurt each other a little bit the closer they get because they're going to prick each other yeah and that's what it's like to be a human being in like romantic dealings it's like we want we we actually need to be close we need to let people in uh but inherently when we do our stuff is going to poke their stuff and there's ours etc yeah the problem i think in dating right now is like every time you're with somebody you again i'm making this a universal problem about dating something i have experienced is that when i'm dating somebody and things aren't ideal in the back of my head i'm like there's 300 other guys that would love to be doing this with me that would be easier going about that dinner plan or that would be you know what i'm saying you but i think i agree with you i think but going for the easy is the problem like 100 yeah that's the problem though like i had that a lot with my we're the same i had that like i'm like it's and especially when they come into you yeah i ain't gotta hear about i don't want to hear about you no it's it's legitimately difficult it's narcissistic really 100 is we all are being manufactured narcissists now it's becoming more and more of that because i swear to god bro like the first few years of my relationship my longest one okay i can get out of here if i want yeah and i you know what i'm saying it's just like but i think i don't know i also think people are built different too a little bit but i've i've been with so i think the more people you be with too sexually it's harder for you connect to somebody 100 like i can't now i'm like when a girl says they like me i'm like which is bad i gotta go to i'm in therapy for it what do you mean by that like you're annoyed by it or you're like no no no i want it but i'm just like i've heard it a lot it's a foregone conclusion almost yeah you're like yeah i i have experienced that a lot of people are into me yeah and that sucks that that sounds bad to say out loud no but it's reality yeah it's true is like there's a script almost now yeah and i'm waiting for somebody that doesn't have that script yeah once i find somebody that's like damn this sounds no it doesn't it's very very honest and i'm actually very appreciative of it but i'm guess i'm wondering for you as your friend the only way to break the script of i am into you and would like to be with you is for someone to not feel that way now you're getting to it what are we gonna do with that okay now you're talking i need a girl that hates me if we're keeping it a buck if you don't like me i'm for that that is so so annoying annoying i don't want that for you i don't want that either but god damn it like when a girl is like put it like that ah shut up no come on okay i won't say no names but i was dealing with a girl that was like she was bisexual and she was in them she could give a fuck less about me yeah i feel like she she she couldn't care and that was like i love you yeah like you can go you really like women yeah i'm just here for you i'm just here for you i'm just here for you a little bit i'm fly i'm like mail order dick yeah and i was like you were into that i we had a good chemistry like she we liked each other a lot but there was this distance yeah where she kind of was just like i can do without you like there's girls making me come and that's we having a good time over here sisterhood and i was just like not sister i want to there was a lot of sisterhood not sisterhood you know what i mean not sisterhood womanhood yeah yeah yeah i was just like it just didn't work out in that way but that was recently the most close out we the time we shared i was like wow i could have i could have locked in with that girl yeah and that's dumb well also by the way you're what you're explaining i don't think is a super unique like yeah which is to say i don't think you should feel bad about like we all want what we can't have and not everybody many many people are like i think a very common problem in dating is that a lot of us are attracted to things we shouldn't be like you know being attracted to someone who doesn't like you that's obviously like clinical and bad and and same i love i there's something i love the chase i love a pursuit are you chasing these guys down uh you too you know what are you talking about you're gonna say classy no no no no no i said you got you you you you clouded up right now you ain't chasing nobody not clouded up i well that's the thing is i'm a lot of the guys who come to me that are the the guys who want me like that that are like in the dms and a lot of times it's the same thing where i'm like okay yeah even if they're hot i'm like whatever but yeah a guy who i feel like i'm like working for it and i'm like really putting in the effort that yeah what's your game caleb stop can you get nah don't tell me don't tell you i'll tell you my game what's your game uh uh i make shit happen that's that that is i send plans clip it clip it virginia clip it clip it mr caleb makes it please but i mean like i think so many i think so many people are i asked someone out yesterday and he was like oh i never get asked out and he's gorgeous and i'm like yeah because people are intimidated by how gorgeous, and he's very successful at what he does and yeah i'm like i just was like hey i want to take you to dinner next thursday this is the time and the place let me know if you're interested let's go that's like but that's how i have to be you know what i mean i don't get the luxury of being one of these like brooklyn twinks that just gets to coast by on a jawline i have to be i have to have plans you know shit has to be set in stone there needs to be plans you can't just come up and raise the shirt no the shirt pull up the shirt it's gonna do it for some people yeah but it's gonna need to also have a reservation on the other end man i can't wait to be mr make it happen mr make it happen is crazy mr make it happen is so funny that's so fire that you know what clip it yeah racial visitation and racial visitation we gotta get these five clip it antonio i have a segment for you oh let's get a game did you know we play a game i did not know we play a game we play a game on this show let's play a game true false segment i'm gonna read you 15 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can after each one if what i just said is true or false you get 10 or more correct we're gonna give you 50 us dollars oh my goodness come on it's okay you ready yeah a is the most commonly used letter in the english language true false e fuck fish can't blink false true titanic was released in 1999 false false it was 1997 50 cent and charlie chaplin were alive at the same time true true the chicago stags were the original nba team in chicago true it's true venus is the hottest planet in our solar system that is true whoa monaco is the smallest country on earth true false it's the vatican city red belt is the highest rank in brazilian jiu-jitsu false true training day was nominated i don't know if it's the brazilian uh training day was nominated for best picture at the oscars true false should have been madonna's real first name is caroline i feel like it's true false it's madonna university of chicago's mascot is phil the phoenix false true your radius bone is in your leg false it's true it's false it's in your forearm uh canada has the longest coastline in the world uh canada has the longest coastline in the world uh canada has the longest coastline in the world um false true fuck i'm about to kill myself i know exactly what has happened to you okay i'll tell you later the cta stands for chicago transport authority no false mr mr satan has never been killed in the entire dragon ball series uh true that is true yeah how do you do chance six six or six is a six is kind of a recurring number i know what happened to you i've played this game what over a hundred something times now oh if you count two or like 150 i what happens is with a true false thing people will get in a rhythm yes of thinking like oh the last one was such and such so the next one must be such and the rhythm is just off yes and i saw it happening for you and i wanted to help you so bad i stopped i stopped actually considering the question i'm just saying i'm just like you got your head dragon ball question was good brazilian jiu-jitsu i'm ashamed that don't be ashamed don't be ashamed chance does this to hurt people he writes these questions oh yeah he's a total masochist he's a he's a hurtful guy okay well what happened yeah i'm fucked you got six damn you got six which is beautiful but yeah you're not getting that money my madonna should i did not know that was her fucking friend that's fun that was fun though we talked about okay we talked about we talked about mom and dad we talked about by the way you need to tell your mom i saw the photo of you and your parents at uh fallon she looked good yes she looked so good i've been in many a fight she had that dress on she had that dress she had that dress on in a crazy way please tell her i said that i will i almost commented and then i was like hey that's not uh you're gonna see antonio soon first of all no we talked about your parents talked about jiu-jitsu yeah we did we talked about you're so true we did true false chance how much how long have we been going we are at uh 58 minutes oh great uh what else is going on with you what do you think about 2026 what's that what's it all about uh 2026 gonna be a good year man yeah yeah i think it's we kind of spoke about it a little bit but i want to make stuff this year i think i want to i want to get artsy fartsy with it man yeah like we'll take the we'll take little acting roles here and there and do stand up all the time but i really want to make things and make people feel some shit this year man get back to feeling some shit this year though yeah yeah mr make it happen mr make it happen is crazy yes we're do you think you were feeling things last year last year i was very much on autopilot why will say i just i it was my second year in new york and i think i was like okay we got to get out of survival mode yeah so i turned the brain off and i went and i just worked worked worked worked yeah now i'm back and i'm like let's we can we can be creative again that makes sense i feel like uh it's a lot of times when people move cities like when people move from new york to la or vice versa like year and change is like i'm just like i am setting up my life yes i'm trying to figure out where i get coffee i'm trying to figure out what train i take to what like you're just trying to figure out like how i live in a place and then you feel like you're kind of let out of the chutes that you're like i'm off to the races now i know my basics are handled and now i'm i can actually be creative or date or whatever the fuck yeah people don't talk about that a little bit it's like that's what it is i think i came out of that fog and now i'm like okay now we have friends yeah all the all my homies here we got community again now it's time to like you make that happen you know you said you wanted to act more what is your like what is your dream role like what is the thing that you're like man if i can i don't even necessarily mean like working with a certain director or anything i mean like if there's a a thing you could portray on screen what would it be i really want to get into my brooding bag yeah i want to be a brooding guy in a movie yeah yeah i can i had that in my bag man i can do that i feel that i'm a sneaky thespian bro no i can see it yeah i can see it for you thank you man i can see it for you what kind of brooding like do you want to do like is there a role that this is a good way to put it is there a role that someone else has already played that you're like that would have been i'm not gonna lie man i really look at lakeith a lot yeah of course yeah i think he embodies a kind of a uh style of acting that i really like just absurd but still like he can pull you in emotionally still but he's not doing too much it's very much bringing you into his world i like him a lot and i like uh nigga in trouble but uh jonathan majors was pretty good in his heyday oh he was in trouble yeah yeah yeah i briefly was like is he in trouble and then i was like oh in a big way yeah yeah he got in a lot of trouble but uh you know before he before he got with the white women he was he was good man cautionary tale cautionary tale and time as old as time memoriam yeah yeah yeah uh i know you you're an actor too i'm acting down you get down i would like more yeah i mean i'm in the same position as you kind of i'm definitely focused right now on like artistic pursuit i actually was like reflecting the other day and was like i don't really want to be i find myself frustrated anytime i'm in conversations about building my career i'm over there i don't want to build my career i'm a creative person living a creative lifestyle and that will let in all kinds of different things but when you start talking about a career there's these like tracks and things you're supposed to do where i'm like okay if i talk about my career as a stand-up then inherently as soon as i finish the i put out a special last year the second that's over people start asking where's the next one and there might not be a next one oh god i don't care and your shit was amazing bro and that should be enough for real that should be enough for a while yeah eat this digest this bro like you put in some real pain to make that let me live let you go fuck i seen you was in europe like do your thing bro like i don't understand why like we dropping albums like we ai bro you put some pain in let you ride that out i feel like yeah well i also just want to leave room for other things to come in and out like i want to i want to do other creative things i don't want to i don't cease to be a stand-up just because if i want to spend a year or two years or three years writing a fucking book and not doing any stand-up that when you talk about a career path then those things become like oh you waste it three years because you're not on the career path yeah when you talk about living a creative life as a creative person everything has value and i think if you don't show you know this industry who you are in your own creative pursuits they'll make a character for you yeah i don't want that to happen because i have a blank face that they will try to slap a style of being on and i'm not trying to do that so this year i'm going to show people like who i really am in the creative space and then hopefully i can just they give me money to do that yeah that's what i want i see it it's on the horizon i see it it's on the horizon i see it a high five why not yeah a high five why not you ain't did that in a while i haven't done a high five in a minute when's the last time i did a high five years probably chance but you keep track of my high fives where was the last one yeah get the get the chart out um antonio please tell people where they can find you how they can support you oh man uh instagram antonio kareem youtube antonio kareem and i'm in these streets doing stand-up uh oh comedy store january 31st if this comes out okay if it's out before then cool and otherwise they'll see you go follow antonio check out his shows see him wherever thanks for doing to do this is great no doubt bro appreciate you On any journey using Uber, it helps to know you're getting into the right car. 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