One Year On… To My Friend Charlie Kirk.

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But there's not really much I can do about that. So here goes nothing, this first bit I wrote in mid-October when we were out in Wyoming." Okay, it reads, "Dear Charlie, I'm really mad at you for being dead. I don't really know how else to open it or how else to say it. I'm sure there are softer or kinder things that I could have gone with, but you know, I'm just so upset with you for not listening to me. You never really listened to me. I'm in Wyoming right now, which is one of our favorite states. We both loved the mountains, and it's reminding me of another time that you didn't listen to me. When I told you that running 10 miles every single day was too much on your body that you were going to get injured, and then you did, you injured your back. You were always that way, Charlie, like you just couldn't do anything halfway. That's why you hated fishing. I really love that picture of us in British Columbia holding the big salmon, because I can hear you and I remember so clearly as soon as the photo was taken, you said, "Ugh, disgusting." You never appreciated fishing because you weren't really made for slumming down. You always were doing 10 things at once. Anyway, I'm out here because your death almost drove me insane. You won't believe it, but I actually did the thing. It was oddly clinical. I started making my way through the quote-unquote stages of grief. I wept for weeks, and I now realize why we don't use that verb very often to weep, because it's different from crying. It just comes from a different place. It's distinctly guttural, almost animalistic sounding, and I want you to know that I weep for you, Charlie. I also have to say that I don't need you haunting me in my sleep. I can feel your presence in a way that feels haunting. The dreams are too vivid, and I know deep down that they're not just dreams. I think I know how you felt back in 2018. My priest tells me that you're likely in purgatory, and I need to pray for your soul. I don't really know how it works when you become disincarnate, but I want you to know that I already know so you don't need to keep insisting. Before we even found out that you didn't make it, I knew you were betrayed. I told George that as we prayed in his office, I said, "They betrayed him." He replied, "We don't know anything yet," and I said, "No, I do know, because I did know." Instantly, Charlie, like an old memory had just been triggered, I also know that they're not going to get away with it. They made a mistake. The devil overplayed his hand this time. I have this deep sense that they wanted me to see you die, the manner in which it was broadcast globally all across social media, doesn't make any sense. It defied algorithmic norms, Facebook, TikTok, X. Suddenly, all of their preventative measures that are designed to catch and remove violence from their platforms immediately malfunctioned that day. They wanted everyone to watch you die. For what reason, I'm not sure. I had to come get out to the mountains just to take a breath, because I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I had not had a spell of anorexia since my early 20s, but the very first thing I did was I just stopped eating, and I'm not proud of that, but it was the only thing that I felt like I could immediately control. It was for me Wyoming or a sanitarium. I'll never forget the moment and the way that George looked at me across the table as I sat there, moving somewhere between the grief stages of bargaining and denial, and I was trying to convince him, but mostly I was trying to convince myself that maybe there was a chance that you were alive. I said to him, "Maybe he's in witness protection." And George looked at me with all of the strength and the paradoxical gentleness that it takes to break reality to someone that you love, and he said, "I think he's dead, honey. I think Charlie's dead." I think at that time he knew that it was time for me to get away. I was then made to suffer through watching so many people in the political sphere act like flesh, flies, and maggots invading your corpse, people who hated you, selling t-shirts and mugs in your name. Charlie, you're not going to believe me, but Ben should appear of all people, slid into your studio within days, $1 million in hand. He told the world he was going to pick up your bloody mic. We'll see about that one. On a similar note, I have to tell you that your memorial was really weird. It was like an R&C rally. There was just no personality. There was no heart. There was a bunch of suits that were up there telling us how much you loved politics. It was like no one knew who you were outside of this conservative whizz kid with a vision to build a student organization. And they had Susie Wiles speaking, "I mean, does anyone believe that you had a vision for Susie Wiles to speak at your funeral one day?" I've done my best to correct the record. Arena and John Mappin attended that memorial. And Arena felt that there was something off immediately. For one, she told me that she had never seen so many people speaking her native language Russian in Arizona. And I want you to know that when I was drowning, demanding answers to what really happened on September 10th, she and John tossed me a lifesaver. They were your real friends. And they wrote me the most beautiful open letter in your honor, a letter to the world, and it gave me the strength to fight another day. They wrote, in part, "Charlie's execution is an assassination with potentially far-reaching political consequences for America and the world. What we have seen so far, beggar's belief, a crime scene apparently completely destroyed in days and plenty of evidence that simply does not add up. This investigation and the truthful answer as to who was really responsible for deciding that Charlie would be executed in front of the world, will affect America's future, its collective soul, and its conscience forever. The truth, when known, and we believe that it will be known, will have far-reaching international consequences. Very idea that someone could be convicted and could receive the death penalty when there remains even the slightest shadow of doubt or a shred of uncertainty that they may be guilty of that crime and that Christian souls would tolerate that possibility is anathema to all teachings of Christ. We are growing rather sick and ashamed of seeing people criticize Candace for doing her level best to get to the bottom of, and to the truth of what happened to Charlie on that day. You don't have to agree with Candace on every subject that she addresses on her shows to acknowledge that much of what she is presenting on the subject of Charlie's death is extremely concerning to America and to the world, completely valid and very relevant to the investigation. She has an army of truth seekers worldwide who are helping her in her search and research. This is truly new and modern and has never happened before. This is not 1963 and boomers should get used to it. No one would question how bright Candace is or that she may indeed be able to help her country get to the truth. She is highly motivated to do so. In our view, the official investigation should be immediately ordered by the appropriate legal authority to proactively share everything they know with Candace and her selected team. That is, if truth and real understanding of who decided to assassinate Charlie and why is there sincere objective that would go some way towards restoring public trust in the system. It is our view that her actions are not just the actions that any real friend would take for their friend. They are the actions of the highest order of patriotism. Candace's actions are a service to the whole country and to the world. Beyond that, they are truly providential, divinely inspired and metaphysical. There is a relationship between truth and all living things. There is a relationship between truth and God. I'll stop there, but their words were penetrating Charlie and you were sentenced to a public execution. Everybody can see that and I intend to find out why. Until then, I hope you enjoy your homecoming up in heaven. That is the escalator. Here it is, guys. He came down, the escalator. And it's Charlie Kurt! Hey, what's the one thing that the world wouldn't want to get? It's such a big day for this guy. Charlie is going to be the winner of the president of the United States. And I will be sitting there watching and trying not to cry like it's how black mom ungrateful is. Does my baby up there? ♪ If you don't know about now, I'm talking about shi-tan. ♪ Hey Charlie, sorry that I've not written you in a while. A lot has been happening since Wyoming. I mean, I broke my foot. I found out that I'm pregnant again. I'm also a public enemy number one for investigating your wife. I really wanted the world to be wrong about her. But they, they were not, they were right. And then about broke me in half to come to terms with it. Because no one knew how badly you wanted love more than I did. We talked about it so much. You had the biggest heart, Charlie. I remember even back when you just had a crush on somebody, how much the idea of aspiring toward love and marriage motivated you in every aspect of your life and career. I look back on messages and they're just so beautiful like this one. You wrote, she has no freaking clue how paralyzing she is to me and she is the ideal. And then the reality clashes with it and it's a freaking primal motivator. Unlike anything I've ever experienced. In a funny way, her putting me in this weird cage and box actually is given to TPUSA the most successful few months ever, LOL. And it's all an effort to appease Venus like the Tom Sawyer story. Try to impress the girl across the street. I don't think I really know what Erica is. I know that a wife would not partner with your enemies. I know what she's not. I know about the scheduled will change. I know about the house and the suburbs that you purchased and dreamed about moving into that she came up with a million excuses not to. I know now that her entire life she has been chasing power. And I think that's why she'll never have it. Not the real kind at least. I don't think she knows what real power even is. Hindsight is 2020 and I can see. A lot now much more clearly. The visions that you were having you know I'm sorry I didn't believe you when you told me that you were going to die young. Everything that happened in those weeks is unbelievable to reflect on you know Catholics we don't believe in coincidence Charlie believe in Providence. And so April and May of 2018 were providential so many things were set in motion. You and I were listening to Kanye song power day in and day out. You start telling you with absolute certainty that you have dreamed your death that you. And you knew that your death would be associated with turning point USA in a wider world awakening. You said that it made you sad knowing that you wouldn't be able to see this thing through that I would be the one that had to finish this thing and I told you. I didn't want to die and you told me this you said don't fear death. And brace it or else you'll lose your mind you were sent here to fix things. It won't let it happen they won't kill you instead they'll make stuff up and that won't work. They will then try to attack family and that won't work either. Weeks later Kanye tweets I love the way canestones thinks and it rips a hole in the universe we fly out to see him in just two weeks after that you and I are standing in Israel. Your future wife claims that this is the first time she laid eyes on you at an airport, but she chose not to go up to us. During the same time I get this overwhelming urge that I need to be in the UK and I tell you. For no reason other than a spiritual pull that I know that we need to be in London that you had to find a reason to get us there. It was a total anomaly that trip but I know that it saved my life Charlie or I would have stayed on your trajectory. Meeting George in unplanned trip saved my life. I've been listening to the song power daily since you passed in fact I texted you in the media days following your assassination and I just asked him why he wrote the song a solitary song which spiritually moved me and moved you and he wrote back. It's a battle cry to be yourself and yeah it is actually I've now come to the realization that you made it to the third verse of that song remember we were driving up in Colorado when I took you through the lyrics for the first time I explained to you the meaning. I told you the first verses what you think the world is when you're young it's your early perception or Kanye it's his younger years in Chicago struggling to make it his perception. People telling you what you can or cannot be according to where you begin your life. He writes screams from the haters not got a nice ring to it I guess every superhero needs his theme music and he breaks through. At the second verse he unlocks another level of understanding he has fame he has money but to his surprise he is still restricted. Now it's him against the media his first real cancellation for saying something that was actually true. At the award ceremonies were fake that it's not a meritocracy Kanye was the first to tell us that Hollywood was fake and they tried to destroy his career over it. And he found Saturday night live mocking him so we start the verse FSNL and the whole cast tell them easy says they can kiss my whole ass. He understands that he's going to have to believe in himself even more if he's going to win a war against the media machine the very same media that can either make or break people. Then comes your favorite part of the song when he says this. Yeah he's at war to stay true to himself it the money is tempting that's why he's looking at his necklace. He's at war to not become a part of the machine. And he wins that verse to the album that he dropped despite his first cancellation swords number one he took home a Grammy for best rap album for my beautiful dark twisted fantasy. But it's the last first that's the most important I told you and it's the easiest one to misunderstand politics. He writes quote they say I was the abomination the abomination of Obama's nation that's a pretty bad way to start the conversation. Now media realizes that Kanye has become too influential he stepping on the toes of the more powerful people in the world the oldest institutions and guess what Charlie never believe this was since you passed and I declared war on the liars who lie about everything they're saying I'm the abomination of Trump's nation. Trump actually tweet out a photo of me sick in a mockup of time magazine calling me the most vile person of the year so I officially made it to the third verse of power to. Anyway what does Kanye do about it well he Kanye's harder he knows that this is the big one and he's presenting like he's confident and like he's okay but he's anything but. He says how is he doing I'm surviving I was drinking earlier now I'm driving where the bad ladies huh where y'all hiding I have the power to make your life so exciting but it's not what it seems because he's leaning into his ego and if you listen closely the word exciting actually turns into suicide and he echoes that suicide suicide because this fight is taking everything out of him the fight to say true to himself. But he'd rather accept death and become someone that he's not because that would be a death to a soul and he knows that if he dies being true to who he is and it will have been a beautiful death and that's the best part of the entire song. Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip no tightness no stickiness no residue just plump to a hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's maybe lane. Oh, that's the beautiful death. I remember when we met with the a's team and they told us that the inspiration behind that beautiful death that he's talking about. That portion was actually a scene from the movie 300 when the sparring climbs over the mountain top and he sees that there are thousands upon thousands of their enemies marching toward them. And there's really no way they can survive. And yet he's smiling like a crazy person because all that matters to him is an honorable ending. Take a look. (gentle music) I saw those ships smash on the rocks. How can this be? We saw but a fraction of the monster that is Circe's army. I can be no victory here. Why do you smile? Arcadian, I've fought countless times. Yet I've never met an adversary who could offer me what we spot in school, a beautiful death. I can only hope with all the world's warriors gathered against us. There might be one down there who's up to the task. That was the inspiration. And I just want you to know that I know that you made the third verse in the whole world knows that you were under immense political pressure with Israel, and that they had you surrounded and that your life became the Truman Show but you chose to die with your soul intact. And that's why the last sentence in the song is a question. Do you have the power to let power go and you certainly did, Charlie, and I'm really proud of you for that. (upbeat music) ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ I'm living in that 21st century ♪ ♪ Don't want something mean to it ♪ ♪ Do a better than anybody you ever seen ♪ ♪ Do what's gross on ladies ♪ ♪ Got a nice ring to it ♪ ♪ I guess it'd be sweet ♪ ♪ Don't need this thing, music ♪ ♪ Don't want man to have all that power ♪ ♪ We try to take it, I just count the hours ♪ ♪ Stop tripping, I tripping off the power ♪ ♪ And if I say it, it's so sweet ♪ (dramatic music) - Hey, Charlie, we are now coming up on your one year at the anniversary and I want you to know that I can laugh again. Like, really laugh. I was in Spain when it happened for the first time. A girlfriend of mine got really excited about something that was ridiculous. It was one of those things that's not worth explaining because you did have to be there. But the relevant point is that I belly laughed. I had tears in my eyes and I was really joyful. Something about Spain was very healing to me in every way imaginable. And I'm finally able to think about you and it doesn't make me angry. And I'm thinking about all the things that I'm going to miss. And you know what, I'm going to miss the most. The road trips with you. Singing so many ridiculous songs like this one. (bells chiming) And also this one, which is not in English. (upbeat music) ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪ ♪ What you feel ♪ ♪ The kind of procedures ♪ ♪ When we were on the ♪ - And the 50 cent classics. (upbeat music) - And of course our favorite thing, the mountainside drives with the A. - All right guys, we're doing another road trip in the mountains, literally me and Charlie's favorite thing to do. We love driving because we always have to fly. (upbeat music) - Yeah. - I'm starting with the E. - And I'm also going to miss you never letting me drive and mandating when we were allowed to stop for restroom breaks. - I would like to report to the Instagram Human Rights Council that Charlie is not letting me stop to go to the bathroom and I've been holding my ladder for four hours. - She's a dishonest human being. - So if you're seeing this, please help. - Yeah, I'm still pretty mad at you for being dead, but I know that you were always headed where you were headed, Charlie. And I would have never listened to you either, not in a million years. And I think that's what made us great together. A couple of weeks ago someone said something that I found to be true. They said that in the end you knew that you had accidentally helped create a monster. And you weren't sure if you had the strength to do what needed to be done. And I think about that. I think about those last days, your last days on earth and the pressure that you were under. And the final decision that you made. Like you said, Charlie, we are, we're going to fight and we are going to win. And I have to tell you it is at least getting funny now. It's so true with the devil. You can't create because he's always at war. He's at war with creation itself. He can only steal, he can only lie, he can only trick, and he hates being mocks, but he deserves to be laughed at. Alive they are telling now. I mean, you have the best sense of humor. So I know that you have to be laughing like I am. I mean, they re-imagined your entire life, your friendships, what you believed in. I think you're now friends with Laura Lumer, Charlie. Me and you though, no, you just hated me. And you loved Neocons that might surprise you, each and every one of them, bring on the wars. And you didn't much favor Tucker Carlson. So I'm told, Charlie, there is not a piece of you that they did not try to sell. I'm talking personal letters that you wrote. The tent that you died beneath, the microphone that you were holding. And I'm finally at the war, at the point where I can just laugh at it all because the Department of War is sending out the real crazies now. I went to Yale's concert last week. You're not going to believe it. But after six years, he returned to Chicago and he did it during the week of your anniversary. I had been trying for over a year to get his song "Ghost Town" for my podcast intro, "Best Song" on the Yale album. And you remember when you flew me out to Wyoming where he recorded that, I arrived at his album release party. And I just kept replaying that track for you over and over and over again. Kid Cuddy is featured in the vocals of that. But yay, and Kid Cuddy, then had a massive public falling out in 2022. So you have to imagine my shock and surprise when he brought him out on stage to close the show. And they sang that exact song. I honestly could not believe it. It all came together, the Wyoming album. One year on "Ghost Town," I was losing my mind because it's been a long year. The lowest lows of my life without a doubt. I was just surviving for a little bit for a long time. But now I'm back. And the whole world knows that you were portrayed. The whole world knows that your assassination was ordered by the most powerful people in the world. But you should also know that your name is trending every day. And I keep telling everyone that I feel you with me in a positive way now, like we're reunited on stage again, too, doing one last tour. You were right, Charlie. Your death came early, and you did nothing to stop that. And that took a tremendous amount of bravery. You were right when you wrote that you would have to choose between those you love and your mission. "Ghost Town," the song is about a choice, too, trying for a long time to make the world love you before you realize that there's no freedom in that. And that the happy ending is in freeing yourself from that pursuit, freeing yourself from trying to police a system that's never going to actually love you back. Shortly after you died, a mutual friend of ours told me, "A soul in struggle will eventually free itself. And I think you freed yourself, Charlie. I know that I will see you again. Until then, love Candace." Charlie really was an amazing person. He was really close. And he was my best friend and my brother. And I will never unsee the footage of what I saw. He didn't deserve that ending. You know, he's really young. But I know that we will carry the torch. I will never allow the memory of Charlie to be forgotten, obviously, because there is no Candace without Charlie. We came up in politics together. And so I don't know what else to say, guys, other than-- a lot of paint right now. I love you, Charlie. And I'll see you when I see you. I love you very much. We're still the kids we used to be. Our haters better have a lot of stamina, because we are just getting started. Because if you think you're going to outwork Candace Owens and Charlie Kirk, you're wrong, because we're going to win, and they're going to lose. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. [APPLAUSE] [MUSIC - "I PUT MY HAND ON A STORE"] [MUSIC - "I PUT MY HAND ON A STORE"] [MUSIC - "I PUT MY HAND ON A STORE"] ♪ One of three ♪ - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mabelie, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day comfy grip. Try new groupie setting mist from Mabelie, New York. ♪ Maybe it's Mabelie ♪