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One More Drink w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand

84m 19s

One More Drink w/ Sam Morril & Mark Normand

The conversation is a casual, humorous exchange between two comedians, touching on personal stories and observational comedy. They begin with anecdotes about a disastrous Fourth of July trip, a slushie maker, and a newly opened bagel shop that lacks a bagel license, sparking jokes about bureaucracy. A significant portion involves a young comic approaching one host on the subway for advice, leading to a discussion about the awkwardness of fan interactions and the importance of boundaries. They also critique the poorly received film "Citizen Vigilante," starring Armie Hammer, and joke about its absurd premise. The hosts then explore potential comedy bits, including the irony of Ozempic use in a world where some starve, the parallels between comedy and sex work, and the romanticization of historical poverty. They share recommendations, praising the documentary "Hoop Dreams" and the Netflix series "Beef" season two. The conversation wraps up with enthusiasm for the World Cup, highlighting standout players and the positive experiences of international visitors in the U.S. Throughout, the tone is playful and self-deprecating, blending humor with genuine observations about life, comedy, and culture.

Transcription

17633 Words, 88882 Characters

English
Hey, we're here. We might be drunk. Maybe solo up. I love a solo up. Good to be back on solo. How you been? Whoa, good. I just had the 4th of July. I was gone for six days. My flight got canceled. So you were struggling out there. Yeah, yeah, it's a suburb. The hard part of the suburbs is this kids everywhere, which is great. It's fun. When it broke my watch, so that's gone. Oh, shit. Well, we're just all wrestling all day. You know, I got a headlock. They're so little. I feel like, you know, the Hulk. It is fun throwing a kid. Oh, this has a great bit about throwing the kid into pool. Yes, that's the closest you can come to abusing a job. Just throw them into the pool. That's one of my favorite things. The whole face changed. Yeah, that's a great bit. Oh, yeah, Peter's is on the slushies. Whoa, how did we get a slushie maker? Did someone send this or were you just handkering? I was handkering. These are going for sale on Amazon. My, my brother-in-law had one of these at the 4th of July. I love the slushie maker. Oh, we did margaritas. We did, uh, dackeries. Caluah. What do you call it? Peter Calada. I love a, uh, a nice maker, too, but I mean, I bought the shittiest one. It takes like four hours to make it look this much. I just use a tray. What are we doing? Yeah, right? That sucks. So what do we got in here? A little bodega cat and cherry coke? Whoa, it looks like cherry Pepsi. Ah, I hate that guy. Yeah, Pepsi over come. Some people claim they can taste the difference. I don't think I'm one of them. Come on. Dude, that's fucking incredible. That was like the kid version of banging the trans girl on accident. Like, what? It's Pepsi. I had no idea. That's, that's language now. You see Lenny's not the language. Right, right. I got right. Oh, yeah, new identity. So I got more Jewish. Oh, by the way, I went to my bagel place. New friend to bagel place on my block. I went in no bagels. What? I was like, you're two days open. You don't have any bagels. You stole that. And he was like, we don't have our license yet to sell bagels. But there's a bagel license, though. Yes. I wonder who owns this. No bagel, no bagel, no bagel. Damn, no. So what do you need for a license? I don't know. They're just selling sandwiches. I was like, not even on a bagel. They're like, no, we don't have that license. Yes. That's a lie. You can't open a bagel place without bagels. Thank you. But it's crazy. It's just bread with a hole in it. So can you have a bread? Do you need a bread license? Or is it? Do you need a piece of bagels? Yeah. We only have garlic knots today. Sorry. You can make the hole. Yeah. What the hell? That's crazy. That's crazy. Look it up. I will tell you they don't need any more business, but a pot with bagels. Have you had that shit? No. It's unreal. Really? It's one of those annoying influencer places with a line, but they deliver. It's so good. Wow. I walked by and there was no line. I was like, I got to try it. Yeah. It's that good, dude. It's really? It's like a thin crispy bagel. Oh, a thin bagel, I like it. And it's got the, you know, the smoked salmon, the dill, the capers, the onions. It's a fucking, and I love an open face. Yeah. I don't like that we just gave into the sandwich, Joey. You're getting less bites. Right. I like the open face. Are you, do you scoop it if it's a fat bagel? Oh, no. Okay. It feels like sacrilege. You get looks. Oh, really? And yeah, I think in the New York bagel place, you're like scoop. All right. Fucking damn. Geez. Coming out to you. It's coming out to your dad in the 80s. That's the look you get. Scooped bagel. All right. That's a Larry David episode. I think they're walking to the temple. And they're like, he's a scooper. That's, that is a great episode. They're the white fish. Yeah. Sable. Yeah. Sable. So seriously, you take your sandwiches? That's what they name it after him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, no one's getting sable. It's true. There's two fishes. There's two white fishes together. It's a lot. Is that what it is? I think that's what it was. Oh, God. You want the turkey? I love a turkey sandwich. Love turkey. Is turkey your go-to? Go-to. Then roast beef, then ham. I might go ham then roast beef, but yeah, turkeys just fucking solid. Retail bakeries require a food service permit and staff must fat. Okay. So it's not a bagel license. To sell bagels commercial. Oh, it holds hold while home-based bagel operations are governed by new. Okay. I guess so. Yeah. Wow. Now I picture like a meth head type guy making bagels in his trailer. Like breaking breaking bagel. I'm Donnie in office. You better get ready for that. Jews and trailers. That'd be a fucking series. Damn, dude. I get a lot of Jewish actors. That's a different kind of trailer. But yeah, so I was on the subway the other day. And I'm in Brooklyn going to Manhattan to do shows. Yeah, got a pod going. I see a guy come on one stop in and he goes. Mark Norman. Hey, what's shaking? He goes. I'm a young comic. I got to pick your brain. I was like, no, there's no escape. He had me. It was like a Marriotti band. Where you stuck there. And I mean, the Marriotti band leaves. That's true. That's the big truth. The Marriotti band, you got a minute. You know what? What was the right one? He said, so how long did it take for you to like, to make it? And I was like, were you fucked? If you're worried about that, you're not, you know, you're not doing it right. He's like, been doing it a couple of years. I got a bit about this. He's like, do it breaking down the bits. I'm like, but there were people like that when we started. And now I think with the social media shit, it's gotten out of whack. Yes. Because they're seeing people explode immediately. Like, no, no, it's like the comics we knew growing up who look at like road calendars. And it would be like, this fucking hack is headlining there. Yeah. Don't look at the worst guy headlining on this gun the calendar. Look at the best dude. Good point. Yeah. But he was doing like the, I don't know what I need to do. I don't know how I got to make it. And I'm like, oh, just just keep going. He's like, how do I get an agent? What's the story? And I'm like, the fact that you don't know this sucks for me is weird. That like being a comedian got to be a little self-aware. The zero self-awareness. And he was a sweet guy. Super nice guy. But I'm like, the fact that you don't know this is a faux paw is a bad sign. How many stops are we talking? We're talking from Atlantic Barclays to 14th Street Union Square. Whoa, that's a long one. That's a long one. That's always when the train goes out too. When you're in a conversation like that, they're like, oh, we have some maidens on the track ahead. Fucking kill me. Yeah. Oh, God. It was, and do other people deal with this? It's like a, if a, if blood so is on the train at a young high school. Yeah. All right. That was a pull. Just a cold pepper. Whoever. Mark stop watching football in 2004. Michael Vick. Brady. Dear rice. What? Brady took over for blood. So I'd be a young Brady. All right. Young Brady sees blood so on the train. Is he like, so how do you get a spiral? What's the, what's the deal with the insides? I'm gonna go up to a quarterback. Yeah. Like, what do I do? Yeah. You don't look like you have it. I'm like, I'm working on it. No, I mean, it's, you know, he clearly respects you. But I think you, you gotta make the boundary there of like, I know. Well, it was nice to meet you. Best of luck with everything. I got to watch my set or whatever. Yeah. I just can't, I can't do it. Yeah. It's tough. But I come on here and trash. This is way worse. Yeah. You could, you could have just said it to him and like, oh, I'm sorry. I got it. Instead, you're like, yeah, 100,000 people here now. I know. He did the, he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I got a couple spots. He goes, can I tag along? And I was like, God, Lee, man. It's tough. It's tough. But I caved and he's coming on the show. God damn it, Mark. Come on in, Ronan. Yeah. Ronan. No, we, uh, and I happened to be with the kid on the street, but he was great. He was actually like awesome. He totally, like, gave me an out. And I liked him enough that I was like, I gave him my number. Whoa. And now I feel like, now I have like, uh, and I fucked him. And I think, no, I think, I think now I have like stock. I'm like rooting for him. Okay. Because, you know, he's like, he did his Montreal audition. He's like, I didn't get it. And I was telling him, you know, to, you know, Mark, it took me Mark five years. I think it was our fourth or fifth year. Yeah, yeah. And as a, yeah, you know, it's, it's okay. You don't want to go before you're ready and stuff. And, you know, I don't know what it is anymore. The fast, but I don't either. But yeah, when they give you the out, you're like, that's beautiful. But you got a vibe for him. It wasn't a weirdo. No, he was cool. Yeah, that's the difference. It was the second time I saw him too. I first time I saw him on the street and the second time was at his show. And I was like, all right, he's cool. Yeah. I mean, we're like, how women now? Where people like, let me get your number. Let me get inside. Let me chat with you. And I'm like, I don't want to chat with you. And not to be, not to say we're, when I'm at Seinfeld for the first time, he gave me his number and I go, I'll never use this. And he goes, use it. Use it. But that's the key. You got to go, I'm aware that you're huge and I'm nobody. And I'm putting some, some distance between us. This guy was no distance. I mean, just just even like in a casual conversation, you need a little disc. Yeah, yeah. You need to breathe. You need to breathe. It's like going up to a girl and being like, can we fuck? You have to go, hey, can I take you to stop doing that? Okay. I told you that in confidence. I didn't know that would make the right. Are you guys entering your mentor phase? No, no, no. Anytime you're, it's a young comic and they see a working comic. I think, you know, but I was very much like, when I did that, I was also very, I was nervous. You know, I would, I would definitely always give them an out and be like, tell me if I'm bothering you or yes, that, that's huge. That goes a long way. Just that, like, that little wall up. Because you know, Mark is also leaving home where there's a baby and he needs these, the train is a moment where you can kind of zone out a little bit and get into like, because it's like, Louis, when he was on this pod, saying like, Chris Rock told him, turn off the radio even, like you need kind of those train rides, where you just kind of zone out and let your mind wander, I think. So I totally, I get it. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was hard. Your whole train ride, you're like, oh, I got 30 minutes to look at my notes, listen to a set, that's all. It happened to me once on a plane ride where guys say, I'm a huge fan, whatever. I was like, oh, thanks man. And then, and then of course, we'll see you right next to each other on flight. He was cool though. He was like, I totally get you got to work. I was like, thanks. Oh, there you go. There you go. I had a rig pig. I was going up to Edmonton and the rigpigs of the guys that work on the oil field. - Oh, totally. - And they're like real blue collar guys. - Blue collar, but they make a good living on doing that. - Great living, but I sat next to them and the whole ride. He's like, "So what's Tom's a Gorillac?" And I'm like guys, a nice guy, a funny guy. And then you get that moment, I'm like, all right, I think we're done. And then a minute and a half later, he's like, "Burt Christchurch." Really that drunk and you're like, "Gah, shit!" I can't get up on it. - Tom were the whole book about this. - Yeah. - The plan interactions. - I know. So it's very nice, but it's, you gotta have some buffer. - It's like any conversation. - Yeah, anytime you talk to anyone, 'cause any conversation you have, you ever talk to someone and they just don't let there be a moment of silence, that those interactions stress the fuck out of it. - Me too, me too. And then you want to get a line in. Like, oh, some fans like, "Hey, I love you stuff out." And you're like, "Oh, I got a funny thing to say here." And they step on it and you're like, "Well, what are we doing here?" But I think what it is is they listen to 18 million hours of you. This is their turn. - Right, right. - That's how they see it. Like, I gotta get my shit out. - I remember opening for Marin like, in 2010 or something. - Wow. - And it was right when WTF blew up. And I asked him about. - What? - What club? - Mister T-Fathers. - Ooh, Sunnyvale, California. - Yeah, true. - And then it's like, you know, you put these podcasts out. And if women wanted, they could fucking dig in and be like. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, you ever do this? And you're like, "I don't think so." Like, "Why would you do it on this podcast?" - Yeah, it's like fuck. - Yeah. - I was trapped. - Oh, yeah. - Oh, that's tough. - How was that weekend with him? 'Cause that club has no real green room. - Yeah, it's like an outdoor green room. - Yeah. - And then I remember the mic kept breaking. And he was like, "As comedians, we need one thing." - Ha, ha, ha. - And he ate wrong. - Don't make the mic break. But I know he was cool. He was, he'd hit me up and be like, "You wanna get some Vietnamese sandwiches?" - Bond me. - Yeah. - Nice. - So yeah, we get a lot of Vietnamese sandwich for lunch. That was, remember the first time doing that club? - It's so suburban. It's like out by Silicon Valley. It's all houses with white pick offenses. And it's the opposite of New York. It couldn't be more different. - Totally. - The club, I feel like if they were very squeamish, anything dark they'd be like, "Whoa." - Oh, dude, I remember working out that alligator baby joke. That was a club of a woman walked out and yelled, "You suck as the door's slowly shut." - And it's like, you know, that was a pretty, I guess some people would say dark bit. So you got to work it out somewhere and it is funny as how that you work out in just like suburban strip malls. - Yeah. - Let me drag my dead baby chunk through, to Sunnyvale, California. - That's so weird. - That's so weird. It's a good room and a good club. - It was good. - It was small and there was not really a lot of stakes there. I had an opener there. I wish I could remember his name. He was, you know what, you're magically getting an opener and you're like, "This guy's unbelievable." This guy is like a great comedy mind, good instincts, great writing. God, what was his name? - A tall guy with long hair. So funny, but now every time I see a roast or he's on it, he's in the writer's credits. So I was like, "Good for him, he made it." - Nice. - But I can't remember his name, shit. - I'm sorry. L.A. guy, for every funny. - Nice plug. - Sorry. - He's great, he's one of the best. I'd like to get him work, but I can't remember anything. - He's doing fine, he's writing in every show, every, he's like a hundred comics. He's just taking credit for what you just said right now. - That's true. - They'll put, they'll cut a clip of this. - Right. - It's a wide net. I'm spreading here, but I can't o'in or, ah, I'll never think of it. Damn, he was good. I was in awe. It was hard to follow and he was just a regular old, nobody, not nobody. He was like, random comic. - It's a mixed feeling when you draw one of those openers because a party was so happy for comedy that a young buck is coming up and crushing. The other part is like, "I gotta follow this shit." - Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, it was tough. At least, if it's good, at least you're like, "All right, I gotta step out." I'm in that phase of new material now where, I always start the new hour to dirty. A little dirty work. - 'Cause it works. - Yeah. - And that's fine for a little bit, but then you gotta weed out. It's like this one, and then I was trying to, you know, try to get away with all new and you have your 15 and they let me lay it at the cellar and it was probably like 17, 18, I did. - You know, yeah, big difference. - And then you're like, all right, let me dig into the other new and then you're like, "This is too dirty." I could feel like the crowd knew it was too dirty. You get like, "Yeah, no, we got it." - Right, right. - Another about your dick, your middle age, at this point. - Yeah, the new stuff is tough. And I did a six week or six day vacation, that first set back with new material. Whoo, we, you feel like your gun is not loaded, you know? You're out there like, "Ah, no, your pistol whipping." 'Cause you got nothing left. - Yeah, I had a set at the cellar and I'm outside and the host goes, "You're on, you're on next." I was like, "Oh, cool, got it." So he goes in and I guess he didn't see me in the room. He's just like doing six, seven minutes or whatever. He did a while, maybe it was five minutes, I don't know, but it felt long and I'm talking to Mike Vecchione. We're just like bouncing jokes and stuff. And I'm like, "Why is he doing so much time?" This is weird and he's like, "Oh yeah, it's a little weird." And then I just hear him go, "Where the hell is this dumb guy?" And I just like get in his sightline and he goes, "Oh, sorry." - Oh shit. - Oh shit. - And then he goes, "I'm sorry, that was my mistake." And he brings me on. It's like, "You tap into some dude just deep anger." I was like, "I've been here the whole time." (laughing) Well, you get nervous up there when it's just you. - Totally, totally, miscommunication. But it's a fun moment when you see a guy like kind of snap. - Yeah. - And then have nowhere to put it 'cause I was there. But it's funny when you see a dude just kind of have like a semi-melt down. - Yeah. - When we were doing bad rooms all the time, I had 'em all the time. - Oh yeah. - You just snapped. - Snapsets all the time. - Thank God they don't have footage of us doing like prom shows from 2011. - Oh God, those were wild. - Absolutely. - From 2011, or right to 2014? - What was that? - Whoa. - What's that? - I have no idea. I just found it on the internet. I was looking at this. - It was like to be one of the comedy's most eligible back to that. (laughing) - What the hell is that for? - I don't know. - It's in Touch Magazine. It looks like one of those brags, you see at the airport. - I was looking at you up on the internet. - That's wild. - Hello, Sam Morel. - This is the picture they chose too for a bachelor. - Yeah, it looks rough. - Well, I mean, let's say you look bad, but like give me a guy in a suit at a Fallon or something. This is like, "Hey ladies, ha!" - 2011, what magazine? - I think it's 2014. - Okay. - Wow, that's hilarious. - Tell all. - I'm sure that moved a lot of fucking magazines. - Sam Morel's, what is the reason for that? - Hello. - Yeah, this is the inquiry, you know? It's kind of, looks like a real shitty kind of, what do you call those leafy square magazines. - I think this is like a red eye thing. I think this is a joke. - Oh, maybe. - Oh. - Greg, Joe, no, yeah, this is not bad. - Good job. Good detective work there. - Yeah, dude, I sleuthed that shit. - Yeah. What'd you do for the fourth? Did you set your AC for 78? (laughing) - We claimed we did. - Yeah. - Everyone claims they set it to 78, but no. You know, it's not livable, dude. - Can you explain what your difference is? - Oh, I'm gonna make you. It's just saying, you know, we don't want to power out just in the city. - And then there was one. - So everyone set it to 78, their AC units, and it was like, dude, come on. - Yeah. - I mean, 78 when it's that hot outside, it feels like 88 in your apartment. - Totally. - So yeah, no, it does nothing. But, you see those fireworks? - No, I didn't say. - Oh, man. I'm good with fireworks. - Well, the videos of the train ride. - It's like, I've seen 'em. - Train ride over the bridge? Pull some of those up on Instagram. - No, those are cool. I saw those, but it's like. - It's pretty cool. - Mateo lives in my building. He was mad. He could only be one person on the roof. And I was like, do you really need to see the fireworks? - Yeah. - It's more of a social thing. I guess, you know what, I saw his play. I saw Chicago on Broadway. Mateo plays Billy Flynn, the lawyer, in Chicago on Broadway. Mateo Lane. - That's incredible. - I believe he killed it. - Wow, on Broadway, that's like Gay Mountain Top. Like that's, you made it to Mount Olympus. - He's the top. (laughing) - No, he killed it, man. - Good for him. - He was so good. He can see, he's got pipes. Yeah, he looks great. - Wow. - It's fun as hell. - It's a fun show. - You guys were great. I've seen Chicago, yeah, it's awesome. Good for him, congrats Mateo. - But yeah, I don't give a fuck about that. He was so hot, I went to a Yankees game. I lasted, maybe two innings. Damn. - It was a heat wave. 100 degrees, then there's a rain delay. A rain delay in a heat wave is such a fuck you. - That's true, yeah. Where's your god now? - Well, there's nowhere to go. You're just kind of stuck around. How long can I hang in the merch store? - Also, he's supposed to control the weather. What the hell? - We had a call into our people. (laughing) - Wow. Look at that. He made it. - One of the guy's camera phones filming this. (upbeat music) - Oh my lord. - I got that sweet Chicago bootleg, dude. - Hell yeah. - Yeah, now he could kill it, I was proud, man. - That's great. Yeah, I was out in the burbs with the in-laws. We had a ninja, we had one of these. So drinking heavily, there it is. Look how cool that looks on the train. - It does look cool. - That is really so. What a town, what a country. - All right, I take it back. - All right. - You got me back. - For a train ride, that's pretty amazing. - That's pretty epic. - Imagine being a tourist, like a World Cup tourist seeing that, blow your mind. - You really get it. two weeks of decent weather in this city though. It's like it was legit a hundred degrees. - Yeah. - And then a hundred and fucking Phoenix where you can kind of just chill. - Sure. - It's a hundred where you're like, "I'm gonna kill myself." - Oh yeah, but let me just throw this out there. Maybe the best summer in New York in the last 40 years. - I agree. - This is? - The Nix. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - World Cup. The fireworks and everything. - Citizen starring, uh, Citizen Figilante. - Yeah, sorry, Army Hammer. - Army Hammer, what's it called? - Vich Citizen Figilante. - Number one on Apple, number one on Amazon. - Is it really? - No, it's not. - I swear to God, give it a goog. It's blowing up. I mean, every thing is the worst movie ever made. Like it's the production. - Including him out here. - Yeah. - Yeah. - He's not exactly like, "Can you go in a press store?" He's like, "Yes, it's the worst thing." - That never happened to me. - It's worse than the allegations against me. That's how bad it is. - When you watch it, you're gonna want to bite your arm off. - What's the quote there? - It says, um, starring in racist film, Citizen Vigilante by calling it hateful and disgusting. - He says, he was in tears after watching the fight. - Is that where they go down? It looked like there was an AI thing. - Good tears are bad tears. - The claim that Hammer was, uh, called the film hateful and the center was not given. He was not given the full script and cried after viewing the final cut. Came from an anonymous source. - Oh. - So you know what they should do? You don't have like a dune. They have the popcorn bucket. It looks like the dune monster. For him, it should be like skin pieces, you know. They sell it at the theater. You know, you're leaning. Like you weren't given the full script. What do you think you were shooting here? You're shooting whole family. He had a decent argument though. The whole scene, the opening starts with a big rape scene. - Oh, okay. So they're doing the death wish thing. - Yeah, exactly. - But then he just kills immigrants for no reason. He's just killing the wrong people. - Yeah, pretty much. - This is what happened to me when I was in Joker. They, uh, they said that I was gonna be, you know, they had me film like a ton of jokes. And I just assumed the movie was gonna be about me telling jokes and then walking Phoenix was in it. Pretty fucked up, so really twisted. - They twisted it up. - I should have read the whole script, man. - Damn. - No, this is ridiculous. This is like, you gotta, I guess he doesn't have an agent though. I was just gonna say, you gotta have an agent. - 92. - About 6% from critics. - We call that a reverse Hannah Gatsby. (laughing) - Watch out, this could be our movie. Save numbers, no. - Well, we gotta kill those immigrant scenes. - Yeah. - We gotta suddenly nend to that. And Act 2 for some reason, Mark and Sam is a liquor salesman. Just start killing immigrants. It's a really weird twist. - Killing bodega owners. (laughing) You wanna have our whiskey? - That's my cat. (laughing) - As we walk into the sunset. - Yes. - 90 minutes, so you gotta give it that. At least it's quick. - There you go. - Are there clips we can find to this? Oh wait, wait, read some of the reviews, oh man. - Okay, here we go. - Let's see. The apartment scene is a horror show. Borderline snuff, a bloody home invasion mixed with smug, a smug lecture on politics. - Now, let's see, that intrigues me. Unreal, he goes places others don't. - Yes, immigrant's home, secure them. (laughing) - Wow, that's nuts. - Whoa. Character's not developed enough. Best movie I've seen in a long time. It's pretty good if you set your expectations properly. Pretty daring subject matter. Whoa. - Realizer and John Wick, I did love Equalizer, I gotta be honest. Everyone loved Denzel, I just think it's like, they made three of 'em. - Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. It's like got moments for sure, Denzel's awesome, but it's like, I don't know, it's like weird when a guy has ages and I'm sick of the old dudes in action movies. - That's what they do now. - 'Cause it's like, it's literally just, you have to do this, you have to just be like a quick cut and he's like, oh yeah. - 'Cause he can't do like crazy shit. - Right, right. - At least Keanu when he did the John Wick was like young enough to still kind of do some cool shit. - Yeah. - That being said, Denzel's cool, it's fucking them. He's always good, but. - That's the one Dakota Fanning is a kid, and he has a protector. - Yeah, she's, oh no, Chloe Moretz, right? That one. - She's like a Russian prostitute. - You've got a man on fire. - Man on fire, I liked a lot. - Yeah, that was a cooler one. But this is like, it's also just funny, the Russian prostitute. He's just like, so then he just murders all the traffickers. Maybe that prostitute needed that job. - Oh my god, sure. - It's hard out there, dude. - Hey, we got tonight from Immigrants. - Yeah, exactly. A reverse vigilante, if you will. - There you go. - Yes. - Remember the Bilbo Beach guy? He was killin' us all. - Bilbo Beach. - Bilbo. - Bilbo bangin' bees. - The cops are like, we can't find this Bilbo guy. - He's barefoot. How could we not find him? - Bilbo. - He's in the shire. - What's the wrong beach, I think. (laughing) - We're not picking up Bilbo on Mapsap. - Bilbo? - Bilbo. - Bilbo. - Bilbo. - You know, we're the channel. Where's the FIFA? So I'm guilty. - I had a joke about the Bilbo Beach killer. It was about how he had a soundproof room in his home, like a dungeon, really scary. It was discovered by a cadaver dog, which I was like, that's the worst dog job ever. 'Cause there's like, you know, drug sniffin' dog, there's seen eye dog, I said, cadaver dog. That's like, I heard they don't even bark. When they find a dead body, they light a cigarette and go, poor kid didn't even have a chance. (laughing) You offer them a treat and they're like, "Do you think I can eat after the shit I've seen today?" - He can bring a dog to the beach either. He throw 'em a frisbee, he's like, "Hey, I got a head over here in the sand." - They go home and beat their dog wife. I just keep it going. (laughing) - No, but that guy was like, did you see that guy? He was like fucking massive. - Yes. - That was like, remember True Detective? The guy was like huge. - Yeah. - It was like that. He looked like he was like, six, seven. I could be wrong, but. - Really? - He looks like Tucker Carlson of shit really went south. - Whoa, he does. - Look at that shit. - So this is, he's like an architect and he was featured on like ABC News, like as somebody who makes great buildings or whatever. I think didn't he leave a note? He did some kind of trolley thing. - He took their phones and then called their family. - That was it. - That's like going back to the scene of the crime. - It's a trolley thing. - He loves victimizing people and it's just more victimizing. - He's trolling them, though. - Yeah, yeah. - That's Syracal's love doing that. Then he would go to Midtown where you couldn't ping his phones with so much phone activity. - Crazy. - Yeah, do you see the testimony? He was like, "Yes, I did all those things." It's like, but he's a psychopath. I mean, he's a, he's a, he's a, he killed like, I think eight that they're short and I'm sure many more. - Oh yeah. When the wife was out of town, he had like a tortured dungeon. Long Island, baby. These are the people going to governors. - No, he's a scary dude. - Yeah, crazy. I don't know if it was a wife going out of town. - I don't know, but you know, these people are always good at living double lives. Like John Wayne Gacy was another one who, like his wife claims, like he never missed a date night. - Oh, really? - Yeah, he's got, 'cause they're good at living a double life. - Sure. - If you're able to maintain the other part without suspicion, they're able to keep killing people. - Yeah. - So, you know. - And going on a date night takes as much acting as not looking like a serial killer. - Yeah, give him an Emmy. - Yeah, exactly. - That takes all the fucking, these guys, I mean, they're. - You think Daniel Day-Lewis can act. - This guy was fucking smiling and grinning to one of his wife's stories while he had a fucking hooker in the trunk. - Yes. - That's acting, my friend. - That is acting. - I'm not saying it's good, but it's good acting. - Yeah. Well, they should, you find a way to turn these guys to good, 'cause they get shit done. These guys are efficient. Look at Ted Bundy. The guys are fucking lawyer. He's getting out of prison. He's picking up any jiggy wants. - Yeah. - What your heart out, Mateo Lane? That is performing, my friend. - Here he is. - He became the old razzle dazzle. - Yeah. - Mark, do you have a new joke about undercover cop acting? Something like that? - Oh, I have a joke about how gay sex used to be illegal. And I'm like, how do they enforce that? That's gonna be the worst undercover gig of all time. And I just have a plain clothes cop in a hotel room, like getting fucked in the ass. He's like, "You're under arrest!" - Oh, that's good. - I had to wait until it went into, I was telling you to book you. But yeah, just one of those funny scenarios. - Make my day. (laughing) - Oh, a forgotten Clint Eastwood film. - Yeah. - Go away. - Make me gay. - Make me gay. (laughing) - So what do you wanna do? - We're gonna do a Pacino movie? - Oh, no, make my day. - The Palmer's, which one? - No. - Cruisin. - Cruisin. - Yes. - Undercover. - Yeah, oh yeah. - Did he actually fuck dudes in that movie? I never saw it. - Probably no. - No. - No. - Might've blown a guy. - Yeah. - That famous line, Hips or Lips is from that movie. - Oh, I don't know that one. - I don't know that one. - That means we're hangin' out a different book. (laughing) - It's blown me here, fuck me in the ass. - Oh, okay. - Don't clip this. - All right. - Clip it. (laughing) - So we do a segment on the show called Working on Any Bits. - Oh, that's true. - This will be a perfect time for that. - Well, I'm writing down Clint Eastwood movie. - Make me gay. - Yeah, dirty, hairy asshole. - That might be too old a reference. - That's true. - That's true. - Your crowds are like, what the fuck was that? - We need an updated cop movie. - Do you feel lucky? - How about Poo Detective? - Okay. (laughing) - Do you feel lucky? - Yeah, that's too old too, I think. What's the new cop movie? Maybe Taken, that's not a cop. Departist, that's still 20 years. He's comin' back. - Yeah. - He too. - He too. - Hope it's good. - I know. The cast is amazing. - It's just weird when movies take that much time off and I feel like it's fair is better for a drama than a comedy, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. - It's like they read the dumb and dumb or they read the Beverly Hills cop comedy. It's like, you gotta be when you're in the fucking zone. - I know, happy Gilmore too. It's all nostalgia jokes. It's all like, oh, remember that? Oh, I forgot about that guy. It's all callbacks. - But like, yeah, I feel like a drama maybe. He is a cool fucking movie. - Cool movie and they got the same director. So that's a good sign. - He's got to be in his 80s. - Oh yeah. - Michael Man. - I think, what's his face? What's the guy who did Gladiator Ridley? - Yeah. - He's still making a move. I think he's 95. - Gladiator too is pretty rough though. - And it was a great. - Did he do that one? I think he did. I think so that's one of those really like why a sequel. It's no reason other than money I know because you don't need a sequel. It was the first picture the first one so good so good It was a phenomenon and he also did Napoleon I believe yeah, but the one he did before that was really good The one with Matt Damon and Adam driver it was like Roshamon style where they were like they were nights Oh with a rape case. Yeah, yes, that was great like Roshamon basically. Yeah, that's underrated What was a cold again? Really Scott Matt Damon's people are screaming at their fun. Yeah But that was a cool movie great movie. I saw it on flight. I love it. Yeah, it's telling me the Martian or the last dual That's it. That's it. Yeah, I was 2021. Yeah, that was a good movie, dude. Yeah Yeah, Gillis recommended that on flight. He was watching he was playing a So funny. I was gonna fly with Chris O'Connor. Oh really? You got to watch the last duel and I told him he had to watch sexy beast and we fucking whoa And we both were like good pick that's a cool movie sexy beast is and it's also like a good summer movie. Yeah Hi, but so summery and cool. Yeah. What's that guys name the fact guy Ray Winston? He's great. The party dude. Yes, been that and that song Peaches dananan And then then then then then then then then then then then then you know his favorite movie that is top berry Derosa and top berry is that right? Yeah, well, I gotta rewatch sexy beast me too. It's been a fucking movie. Yeah Shane was doing his world of work. He does those role-playing games with like World War II. No way. Yeah, he's a big dweeb with that shit on the laptop and I was watching he's Wracking my last duel. Yeah, it's funny. There's beer drinking football playing, you know funny guy. He's just fucking a slave as Thomas Jefferson. He's like insert penis I play that game Yeah, it's made by the people who made citizen vigilante rated M for mature. Let's see what we got I got a few angles. I want to try. Yeah, me too I'm in the place now where I'm in a lot with the job. I just I'm up every night so the jokes are either working or not working I'm not really like I don't have a lot of like great premises, you know Or I think I would have more with them, but oh, this was an angle I had about you see women like I see I get a lot of these like feminist posts, you know, like I might feed or whatever and like I got one It's said a dear man if she says come for me that means she wants it to be over And I was like, yeah, I think every guy ever is okay with that I've never heard one guy be like this is really fucked up that she asked me to come That was really messed up. So that was the first part and the second part I had was like You see this these accounts they were like sex work is real work. Yeah, you see that all the time And I'm like, yeah, it's usually a woman who does that, you know, because I think it's feminist to write that if a guy is writing that You're like I think I just fucks a lot of prostitutes Yeah, and I was trying to go further with the the sex work thing. How it's like is it a real job? Is it because people get the fence? I threw it out a few times and people get defensive with it with like it's real work And I'm like what's definitely hard work. Sure. I don't know if it's real work. Yeah. No, you have a w2 Well, it's like you work people people That's fair, but The table yeah, but I'll be you if you're an only fans probably with w2. Yeah, yeah, I was talking about prostitution. Oh, but that's considered sex work as well I think yeah, it's an umbrella. It's an umbrella. So then I had a thing like people leave Teaching to do only fans. No one leaves only fans to become a teacher That was one angle is trying to go with and it's like I got kind of like a reaction, but didn't really go that's a good angle though. That's true It's kind of the same with comedy Yeah, you know, like no one is ever like oh I'm a comedian, but I'm dying to be the head of Nabisco You know with the head of Nabisco will sometimes strike comedy right so comedy I've always said comedy and Sex work is kind of similar. I think that's an angle. We both don't get it It's like we get it. We both both of our parents are like he's sure right? That's an angle like yeah, yeah work nights. Yeah work nights. You got to take it up the edge You gotta I feel like sex work. You can blow up immediately Where's comedy like you know Dred de Mateo Shannon Elizabeth. They made money on only fans immediately, you know Stevo, yeah work at a little well who make money, but like but it's like at the harder transition. Yes Yes, exactly you got to give your soul away. It's it's usually People to inside to that angle to the right right, but I do feel there's like a weird kinship with sex working Oh, it's like a week. They're both kind of And you know also a lot of comedians later will be like I said too much I wish I hadn't opened up that much now my kids see it and then porn stars or whoever are like ah My kids seem to be doing porn either way. We're doing we're doing because of an absent father. There you go Exactly bad dad. No, I don't know something there and then I wrote one more thing about this might be dated But I I was just looking up sex where crazy shouldn't Bonnie blue that woman. She slept with a thousand fifty seven men Mm-hmm and in one day that was a Guinness record They just kept fucking her the whole day. Yeah, and I looked it up the previous record 919 men So she could have stopped at 920. Oh That's good. She really wanted to shatter the record over achievers. Yeah, she's the Joey Chestnut I'm nuts. Yeah, it's like just fucking 920 they're like we got it. She's like now keep it. Yeah keep going. Yeah, I'm chasing I'm not chasing the record I'm chasing greatness. I don't know where to go with that one But I think that's like a there's a turn maybe there if I was the thousand nineteen guy I go come for me Like let's end this thing. Jesus. Oh, they don't know come the guys You think she made every one of them come that would have taken like fucking weeks. Oh 22nd shot. Oh like a 22nd. Yeah, it really shows you what garbage guys are Yeah, I know they'll line up for that shit. That's the new bread line. The other thing is like of a if oh It's impressive when a guy like when you hear like Wilt Chamberlain or Gene Simmons like for a guy to fuck quadruple digits You have to be an absolute legend. Yeah For a woman to do it. You really just need a free day. He need a free day then right that down That's something clip that remember that He had a free day in a bed. Maybe that's maybe that's nothing. All right. What do you know? That's something? I'm just trying to figure it out here. I got that's by me. I've been a lot of my new Topics are like too blue but Bill Burhead that old line like why how come a guy fucks a bunch of girls He's a Casanova for girlfriend Jeffries. Was it Jeffries? Yeah, yeah, and he's like because it's hard to get laid for a guy That's that a version of it. Well his version. He had a line of a member like There there are there are dwarfs slots. There are no dwarfs studs. He goes maybe in their own realm But none who have crossed over But yeah, so then maybe that last part's too much in his territory. So maybe I just dumped the last one. No, I think that's the free day It's a good line. Yeah. What do you got? What are you working on? Is this anything? I think the point is is something but it's not funny yet The most progressive people are like America sucks America's races. It's corrupt whatever But they want immigrants to come in and like come here come to America But the people who love America the most you know, it's like land of the free free speech pride liberty They're like don't come here So it's weird to be the one who loves the place is like I don't want to show it off I don't want you to come it over but the people who hate the place are like you know the angle is please It's like when you're at a party that sucks versus a party that's awesome When you're the shitty party, you're like you got to come over do please. I need company. Yes When you're at a when you're at a good party. You're not looking your phone Right, you're not you're not recruiting for the good party. That's good. You want people to come to the shit party Yes, so you have someone to talk to yeah Yeah, yeah, misery loves company, but yeah, maybe that's not enough But that's like a angle that is an angle, but it's interesting to be patriotic and then also But then the other angles you're patriotic because you're like I don't want anyone else in here. Yeah, yeah, right It's almost like I thought of a comparison to be if you hate your wife you're like, please fucker Please come by come over, but if you love your wife, you're like get away from her I don't know if that's true though Come over bang my wife. I don't care bang my wife please maybe instead of bang my wife like come over like it Let's let's do a thing. Yeah, it's double date because I'm right there. Yeah And then the guy who's like, no, I love my wife. I want to be a low with her Yeah, that's interesting. See it's that's not the You love the country and you want less people in yeah, and he's a perfect analogy perfect comparison The promise it does kind of track that you went one right because it's like when you want to show it off Hey, come on, but I'm not for not for not for not for permanence. Yeah, right, right. That's no problem with the premise. I think it's like you It's the same reason people get mad when like too many people move into their neighborhood. Yeah, it's the same shit, right They look at New York or new America like it's that cool restaurant like don't tell anybody. We got a sweet thing going here You're gatekeeping. You're gatekeeping Yeah, but I love this country. Yeah, don't you want more? Oh We this isn't for your your thing, but maybe we hate when neighborhoods get gentrified But those same people love it when immigrants come here. Right. Right. Yeah. That's that's true. It's a gentrification Well, it's kind of like how they say like we when a English guy comes over. It's colonizing when a Muslim guy comes over It's diversifying right, you know, and you're like wasn't that colonizing colonizing as well, but it's now you get in some Controversial territory here some scary waters. I think there's something interesting about Patriot versus like I'm trying to think of the angle Patriot versus Maybe the I hate America, but then you want for then you want people to come by. Yeah - Yeah, I picture the kids with their parents. Like, I hate you mom, blah, blah. And, but you wouldn't want more people to come to your family cookout if you hate your parents. You know, but if you love your parents, you'd, yeah. - I think my issue is the premise is I think it's a lot, it's logical that people think that way. I don't agree with it, but it's like it tracks that they would feel that way. - Yeah, I guess it just stood out as humorous to me that the people that hate it are. - It's got to be something bigger than it. It's like, okay, well, it's kind of weird. - Yeah, I'm thinking of Norman's voice here, like, as in, yeah, you're searching for an analogy. - Yeah, yeah, I hate it. Why would you want people to come? 'Cause you're saying it's so bad. Oh, this place is corrupt, it's racist, it's, you know, horribly run, get over here, we want more of you. If you think it's so bad, why would you want people to show up? - Yeah, if you love it, if you love it, you think you'd want people to show up. - Maybe the anger was for the wife. Maybe it's like, I'm fucking, if I love my wife, I want it for myself. - Did you eat something that tastes bad and want somebody else to taste it too? - Oh, that's interesting. - Oh, that's good. That's good, yeah. Oh, this is horrible, try it. And you're like, why would I try it? 'Cause I want you to see how horrible it is. But if it's good, you're like, don't touch my food. - The problem is you're trying to wrap up a big thing with like one line. - Exactly, that's the issue. I don't know if there's one line. It's gotta be a bigger bit, I think. - Right, 'cause that's clever. I don't know if that wraps it up. - I don't know if it wraps it up either, but that's not a bad little button on it. Good call, Peters. - That's good. - All right, what else do you got? - What else do you got? - Willie's is a premium THC infused social tonic, crafted by the legendary Willie Nelson. It's a locale, low sugar, alcohol alternative that delivers a fast-assing you, acting euphoric, social buzz without the regrets to come with alcohol. Willie's social tonic comes in a 5 milligram and a 10 milligram option with a smooth balanced flavor, enjoy one as a shot, sip it over ice, mix it in your favorite mocktail, whatever you wanna do. 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It's like you want a man who is going to be there. There have been times where during sex, I think of a good joke, and then I'm like, I got to come so I can write this down. I don't want to lose a joke. And I'm like, that's not a good partner for you. You want a man who will hold you after sex. You don't want a guy who's, you know, bear-ass jogging toward a notebook. Right, right. Katelyn trying to remember something. That's not like a good after-sex woman. So I'm trying to think there's like a bigger bit there about how like, about just never being present. Yeah, well has this been done? If you were running out of the room to write a song about her, that would be kind of nice. But the fact that it's a joke means you're literally making a mockery of whatever just happened in the bedroom. You're right, like Paul McCartney's like, you inspired the song. It's fine. No woman wants to inspire a joke. No, nobody. Yeah, that's funny. I wrote this joke about you. What was it? It was about fucking you from behind. (laughs) Not exactly, I want to hold your hands. Yeah, there we go. I love the visual of her on her arm, hands and knees or whatever, all fours. And you're using her back to write the joke. You got your moles get out on her back. Yeah. When did that joke hit me? I was making love to a woman. Yeah. And a laquenta in. Yeah, 'cause otherwise, it's your body is a wonderland. This is your pussy sticks. It's also that funny dick difference. I want to hold your foot. Your pussy stick. It's also funny that it's like, whenever a musician dies, they're like, oh, we found some recorded stuff. You know what, it's cool. You never find that shit from comedians. That's like where they're like, oh, dude, we just uncovered a diarrhea truck stop chunk from Sam or L. That's true. Maybe there's something there. I don't know. Look at that Lenny Bruce book right there. On the cover is a picture of him dead of an overdose. And that's a fucking big swing. Is that dead or past, though? That's dead. Yeah, he's dead. Holy shit. Yeah, that's dark. The first one's him and his kids. All right, damn. That is dark, Jesus. But yeah, I love, and there's all these great songs, like Melissa, Sarah, Smile, Leyla. And yours is, if a girl saw her name on your notebook, she's like, oh, no. You know, whereas you see Leyla, you're like, oh my God, I'm Leyla. This is touching. You got me on my knees. Am I joke? I had you on your knees. Yeah, yeah. No, it's definitely, it's definitely the thing where you're like, you try the joke. And if it hits, I'm like, hey, I got to tell you something. Because I'm not going to run it by you before, because it might bomb. What's the point of the fight? I'm like, hey, I got to do this. Sorry, it's a good bit. And I think a lot of these singers, songwriter, guys, sing the song at their wedding. Imagine doing your act at the wedding, you know? I'm trying. It's not good. Yeah. How about this on the back of the Lenny Bruce book? I'm not a comedian, and I'm not sick. The world is sick, and I'm the doctor. I'm a surgeon with a scalpel for false values. I don't have an act. I just talk. I'm just Lenny Bruce. Don't know if I agree with any of that. I've got to have an act. Pretty heavy handed. Yeah, it's a bit self-righteous. Yeah, what's his face? What's the guy's name? Bill Hicks. Bill Hicks has a whole thing he's like, the act is what you go to when you're out of stuff to talk about. I'm like, ah, that's not true. That's crazy. It's all about the act. You see, it does remind me of the headberg joke about-- Running to get a pen. What does that joke about? If it's funny, write it down. Depends too far away. I convinced myself it wasn't fun. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, quick, quick, fun one. Yeah. What do you got? I'm worried about this bit about ozempic. All my fat friends are on ozempic. And-- Are you guys both on it or not? I'm on it. Are you? Oh, yeah. One guy. You did it the fucking old-fashioned way. You did it the real way? Whoa. How does it feel to do it the real way when everyone around you is cheating? You're like fucking jeeter in baseball in like 2000. Yeah. And I'm Derek Jeter. Yeah, I feel like it's IVF versus jizz. But so ozempic, everybody's on it. I'm like, fat people are going to be going away. They're going to be like endangered. You're going to see a fat guy in 20 years going to be like seen a Native American. Hanging their brother, you know, stay strong. Yeah, you live in off the reservation. He's like, yeah, dinner reservations. I'm trying to hang on. Oh, that's fun. And all that hits it, I'm like, it's weird that we-- what do you think a thorough country thinks of ozempic? Like, they're dying for food. They're starving. they're skinny, they're skinny bones. And we're paying money to get there. Like, they're, they are, they don't have any food. And we're paying money to not be hungry. Something funny about that. Yeah, they, they, they don't know where dinner's coming from. And we're just like, literally, like, I got too many dinner options. Yeah, DiPolo has a joke like that. What is? He's like, he saw posters, like, some kids, like, I don't know where my next meal's coming from. He's like, you do I, pop, I, I, pop a job. It's a dominoes. Well, it's like, yeah, but it's like, drugging yourself to not, to not eat is insane. It's insane. That's like a sane privilege. Exactly, exactly. And then I have an act out where the skinny guy's like, why don't you just not eat? And you're like, what are you kidding? We have, look, we have we're here. You know, we got the Snickers ice cream bar. We got the McRibb. We got all this shit. So it's, it's a lot harder for us to not eat. It's addiction. It's like, but then you try to tell them it's addiction. It's like, these people are going through withdrawal. Right. These fucking countries, yeah, I mean, explaining it. I mean, it's just, I feel like those angles have been done the explaining the privilege. And I'm like, what's this? It's like, oh, that's been, those have been done, but like the angle of, yeah, I take a shot to kill my appetite. That to me is something there. I'm paying $400 a month and shooting myself in the side with a needle to get where you're at. I'm using my health insurance to do something unhealthy. I'm using my health insurance to be unhealthy. Yeah, that's how far we've go. I try to an angle of like, I can't get my wife pregnant. I'm like, I'm aborting people. That's how much, how much I can have a kid. But that's too dark. I think we're like a hero of portion, they pulled back. But I like the analogy. And then I have this whole thing about I watch them do the needle. And then we walked around Brooklyn and we saw a heroine addict. And I'm like, hey, it's like you. That gets a laugh. And he goes, dude, that's not like me. And I'm like, I know, he's skinny. And that kills. And I say, if I was fat guy, I would just do heroin. It's cheaper, you get high. But I've never seen a fat heroine addict. And it's cool. No one's ever like, no rock star is like, I wrote this song on ozempik. That's a great line. That hits. That's good. Yeah. Miles Davis wasn't, that's fun. Yeah. But I sum with the third world country. Yeah. So wasn't like slash. If you keep doing ozempik, you're out of guns and roses, man. Yeah. Yeah. They're like, please do ozempik. I had a whole thing about a homeless guy is like, he sees a fat guy and he's like, oh, man, I need money for drugs. And the fact I was like, so do I, you know, but that never hit either. I tried so many different iterations. It's also like there's so many negative side effects, ozempik, like you lose your ass if you're a woman. Oh, yeah. You lose your ass. You lose bone density. If you're like, your face gets really, yeah, face gets all jowl or a emaciated looking. They have ozempik face. Yeah. It's pretty real. Yeah, it could be something. Yeah. We say the last part again. Uh, the heroin part. Yeah. Uh, if I was fat, I would just do heroin, you get high. It's cheaper and you're cool. Heroin addicts are cool. You know, and you don't need health insurance to, oh, yeah, true. Holy shit. That's crazy. Holy shit. That's Kelly Osborne. Wow. Well, I love the, the, the, the quote is stop kicking me while I'm down. And Salah Q. Let me check her wiki feet real quick, uh, by catching a lot of health or bringing up Kaelin's wiki feet. Oh, are you? Yes. Yeah. Why would you do that? Wait, why would I do it? Why would I catch hell or why did I do that? I've done that with a million guests. We've had your men. I've done it for you. Yeah. It's different doing it to a guy. You can't have that mustache. I should be pulling up. Women's feet. I treat everyone the same. All right. You got another one? I feel like these are like not baked enough. Um, let's see what I got. Equal opportunity. Pull of a man's feet. Pull of a woman's feet. Got you. No one likes men's feet. That's the problem. Yeah. We don't have good feet. That's not our thing. No woman's ever been into a man's feet. No. It's a weird fetish. It is. We don't take care of her. And men who take care of their feet. It's weird. That's weird. You ever see the guy in the pedicure? Oh my god. Look at this dude. What's he doing? The doctor downstairs and apologized after that show. I was like, hey, that was weird. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be weird. Yeah, but you apologized and then offered to photograph her feet. Oh, a weird move. I thought. And she did say, no, keep it funny. It's funny. All right. And then you walked away and she was like, creep. Oh, fuck. No. I don't know. Um, what do I have? Um, I have a few. I have a couple. I can't crack. I don't know about like a divorce friend who, uh, you know, he always brings up, you know, we were going to be together till death. You know, and I was like, right, but she did say that at the wedding. That's a high point. You know, like, I, I, I, you can't just go off the high points. I remember I was in a relationship once and during sex. The woman said, my pussy belongs to you after the relationship fizzled. I let it go. Nah. Sure. Do I wish I, I wish I got in writing, of course. But you have to, you have to know when to lawyer up. But, uh, I think that's a fun point. Then I want to keep going so he met, he met this woman on a fetish app. And it's like, yeah, dude, do you thought that was going to be till death? All right. Like you can't, like I'm not saying, I'm not judging you for using these apps, but like, you think like we both like bondage is a healthy foundation for a long lasting marriage. Good point. It's a good point. It's not funny. So I think that was the angle. It's like, Tom is like, with these apps, it's like, know what's a hook up app and know what's, uh, you know, a long lasting relationship, but that's maybe just a good point and not a good joke. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I like to, my pussy belongs to you because what if you get a gynecology bill in a, in a year and like, what the hell is this? Like what belongs to you? You got a big word. You should not have signed on the dotted line. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but yeah, the bondage thing. I wonder if there's a, I'm going broke. What happened? My ex wife had ovarian cancer. Why are you paying for that? I own her pussy. I got the pussy in the divorce. Yeah. It's not bad. It's not bad. I would take that. Yeah. Problem is it detached to her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Visitation. Visitation rights. They're in conical visit. Yeah. There's no, um, glory hole for pussy. I guess the pussy is a glory hole at the end of the day. Whoever came up with a glory hole, optimistic fella. Very optimistic. That's like, you got to have some trust for that one. Oh, you don't know what's on the other end of that. You don't. Yeah, that's crazy. The first person to do the glory hole is fucking brave. Yeah. Jamming your dick in some dry wall and just hoping for the best. I won't even answer a number. I don't know. I love my dick through a wall. Depends on where the wall is, too. Yeah. If the wall is a Chuckie cheese, maybe don't put your dick through. But if it's at the great locker room, the great wall, that's a little bit. That's a hole. Yeah. You got a big dick if you can make it through that one. That's true. Hungs. I did. What'd you say? Chinese dicks. Okay. Hungs. Dynasty. Okay. Is this stupid? Just tell me this is stupid. I'll throw it out the window and slip my own wrist and get on a wicky feet. So, uh, I did a big romantic dinner with a wife, took her to, uh, uh, carriage ride through the park. Dinner laid on a blanket on the park, looked at the stars. Mm-hmm. And then I realized, why is this romantic? This is just shit people did 200 years ago. Mm-hmm. You know, I'm like, what's romantic about big omnis for three hours? You know, we're just doing shit that's poor people do in the 1800s. Uh, and I'm like, it's only romantic if you do it a little bit. If that was our lifestyle, we'd be, we'd be poor. It's like camping. Camping is fun for three days. But if you don't, if you live like that, you're a homeless person, you know? So, none of that hits, but it's a point. But I think it's also like privilege is having no privilege for like three days. Uh, isn't that weird though that having no privilege is like, whoa, that's how good we got it, baby. Well, like, there's people who can't afford phones, but then like, we're like, keep me away from my phone. It kind of goes with your ozemic thing. All right. Like, we, like, I have to put my phone in the other, like, when you see someone with like a flip phone, you're like, that's privilege. Uh. You know what I mean? It's like less technology is privilege. Yeah. True. So maybe the angle is like rich people will live in the woods for a week, just like get away. You know, as a retreat, they call it where other people live in the woods because they're a fugitive or, you know, someone lives in like a penthouse and like, where are you going for the weekend? Mike cabin. Exactly. Exactly. It's got to be a string of things like that. Yes. Um, I'm an eating in two days. What do you, you, you, you broke, you can't afford food. I'm fasting. Fasting is good. It's another good one. Yeah. Um, trying to think of other things, um, yeah, what's the thing where you don't have to, we do it to show how good we got it. But there are actually things people did do or did because they were poor. You're trading on Richmond, poor men territory. No, I think it's different. I think it's different. His are like, you gotta, yeah, you gotta, you work in a trailer. Yeah. Outdoor showers. Outdoor showers. Yeah, it's a little different. Yeah. This is more privileged, I think, uh, but then I say, do you think what we're doing now will be considered romantic in 200 years, you know, you got a lady on the moon talking to a robot best friend like, Hey, I had a hot date last night. What'd you do? Well, we, uh, drank white claws and vaped. We played pickleball to the TikTok dance and I just named shit, a knowing shit we do now. It's something. Yeah. Ryan Hamilton is a somewhere similar. Uh, no. About a carriage ride. in 100 years will be like, oh, let's get in this Ford focus. - Oh, that's the same thing. - Same, yeah, so that part you'd have to come up. The other part I think could still be something if you go another way with it. - All right, good to know. All right, glad you told me that. - Yeah, I think it's got to be like a lot of examples. It's got to be like a Norman, like, yeah, like the fasting was something. The other thing, being off the grid. Trying to think like-- - Flip alone is close. - Yeah, flip phone is something. - Maybe having a horse. Like having a horse is kind of-- - A record player. - Yeah, yeah, an old can. - A horse is something, yeah, you're right horse. - 'Cause you live on a ranch. You're gonna afford to have a horse. Back in the day a horse was just like, how you got around. - Yeah. - All right, all right, this helps. - There's something there, yeah. - Hamilton, Ford Focus, that's good. - Hamilton. That's good. - Look at that pick. That's a great one, dude. Thank you. - My kid would-- - This was she's gonna be a hit, buddy. This is the drink of the summer right here. A cherry Pepsi and a bodega cat. - Ninja, I bought a ninja 10 years ago, is for making smoothies. Now they're like, fuck it. We're going all in on frozen drinks. - You think of the ice cream maker now? - They do? - Yeah. - Oh, what a country. - It's like a carried away here. We're doing an ad for Ninja right now. - What is that big box speaking of? What is that giant box? - Ooh, baby. - Well, chefs in Buffalo send us this nice package. - Whoa. - 'Cause I guess we talk about them all the time. How good chefs is. - Love chefs. - This is, I love that it says, total protein 39 grams. Does anyone need a chicken parm for their-- - After their pump, I don't-- I mean, it's delicious. Look at that block of cheese. - Woo! - I will say chefs is fucking amazing. - Love chefs. - I've seen some of this home, baby. - Oh, look at that marinara. - Look at that pasta sauce. So if you live in Buffalo, you already know. But my two favorite spots in Buffalo are chefs and mothers. Two fucking amazing restaurants. Buffalo underrated city. - Great town, great people, great club. And all this stuff. - Buffalo is the anti-Syracuse, both upstate, but Buffalo is so much more pleasant. - It is more pleasant. - Way more pleasant. - Sports team helps. - Yeah, the same. - I know the gutters, the hills. - They got college ball and Syracuse, but it's not the same. - Not the same, the orange. - I just love cities that have struggling sports teams that just, you can't help but have character. - Yeah. - You still believe. - I love that. Although we have the pelicans and no one is rallying behind us. - It's a Saints town. - It's a Saints town all the way. - And you know what you used to know about the pelicans? Is like every one of their players is like untradable. They're like, we need four first for this player. We're not trading them. And it's like, you had 20 wins last year. - Yeah. - Not every player can be untouchable on a fucking lottery team. - Right. And it's been said before, but you can't buy a team. You gotta fuck with the team name. If you're gonna put the jazz in Utah, it just doesn't work. You can have Utah jazz. It's such a contradiction. - New Orleans pelicans too. It's like not a scary animal. - Well, for sure. - Minnesota is the wolves. - Yes. - Orlando's kind of weak to the magic. - Ooh. - But yeah, the New Orleans-- - We were the, we were the jazz. They were the hornets for a minute, which also is kind of a southern thing. - But they took that from Charlotte. I didn't like any of that either, but New Orleans yet. It's just not-- - But imagine the Denver heat. It doesn't work, you know? It's a cold town. - Yeah. - You know. - It makes no sense. - It doesn't make sense. What's Phoenix? - The sun. - Perfect, perfect. - You know the Lakers, Mark? - The LA Lakers. - That was Minnesota. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's the lakes. - Yeah. - What about the Clippers? - I know this one too, but good. - I don't know. - Oh, it's a Clippership. - That's why they called Joe DiMaggio the Yankee Clipper. - Clippers, face from San Francisco. - Yeah, but the way he moved through the L-Field. - Ooh. - Like a Clipper, doesn't they? - Yeah. - The Yankee Clipper. - Now there's got to be a barbershop in the LA called the Clippers. - Oh, it has to be. - There's got to be. - Yes. - Come on. But what does the Clipper have to do with LA? - I think they're both in it's a water city. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, it definitely lakes, LA Lakers. I'm kidding. - Yeah. - I don't know. - All right, thank you, chefs. - That's a nice box, Sam's own, Sam owns this box. (laughing) - Oh, there is. - I'm looking for it. - Okay. - Oh, that's in StanleyX. - Clippers. - I got a key by the way. Can I hit you with a key? - Oh, yeah. - The person who's inconsiderate with the snooze. - Oh, snooze button on the alarm. - On the alarm. - Yeah. - Oh my God, when you're in a bed with another person and they kept in the snooze. - Jeez, Veter's in trouble. (laughing) - But you guys both nightcaps. - I'm like, you know, it makes me crazy, dude. - Yeah, that's bad, I can't go in bed. - We have one perk as a comic. You don't get health insurance. - Nope. - You don't get any real life perks. We sleep is our one benefit from this job. - Here here. - We get to sleep in. - Yes. - You're taking it away. - I know. - And then she's like fidgeting. She's like, I left something in the bed. I'm like, what, you're common decency? (laughing) - Also, don't wake me up. My wife does this when she goes, are you up? - Oh. - I'm like, what are you crazy? - Yeah, now I am. Because I'm trying to snooze. - Are you up is, you say it. You don't touch while you do it. - Yeah, I'm saying, you up. I'm like, now I am. By the way, I went from you up. (laughing) - So you up. - Watch the kid. - Yeah, yeah, that's what it means. I need your help. I'm doing the kid alone here. - You up makes the kid. - You up used to lead to sex. Now it leads to chores. - Yeah, that's from the kid. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, that could be something. - Right there. - Right there. - Yeah, you up is brewed. - My wife does it all the time. And I just, sometimes I just lay. I just like, go. - You fake it? - I fake it all the time. - That's my thing. (laughing) - It's sleeping. (laughing) - I do like the snooze though. - Snooze is a real pro. - If you're alone. - Alone, I love the snooze. - Alone, it's great. - Yeah. - But what is the point? - You can control your dreams a little bit. - Oh, I'll get out of here with that. What are you, vanilla sky? (laughing) - I was gonna say the same thing. - Control your dreams. - Control your dreams a little bit. Get the hell out of does. - Now look here she's banging Heidi Klum. He's like, all right, 10 more minutes. (laughing) - Just sleep till eight instead of 730. - I can only hear the snooze. - You're not controlling any dreams. - Yeah, but here's where the snooze comes in. You wanna be a go-getter. She is set up for 730. And then you wake up like, what the fuck, who am I? I'm not a go-getter. - Yeah. - See you set up for another 30. That's what it is. - I guess so. - You were all idealists when we go to bed. - Right. - We're gonna take on the world tomorrow. But, but you know you're not. - Yeah. It's like that Gary Goldman jokes. Like I set my phone for seven. I'm gonna do the crossword puzzle. I'm gonna work out. And I'm gonna make a smoothie. And then, he's like, what am I a farmer? - I think that's right. - Yeah. - I remember opening for Gary Goldman back in the day. And he was like, breakfast tomorrow, 9 a.m. And I was like a young drunk comic. And I was like, I was like, counting my whiskies. That night I was like, I can't be too hung over it. He wants me to breakfast at 9 a.m. But it was, it's a lesson. It's like, oh, this is a job. - Oh, you did it. - I did it. - Oh, wow. - I did it. - Good for him. - Yeah, but I remember he was watching me drink. He's like, how do you do that? And I was like, I don't know. - Yeah, I've had people do that too. Feels kind of good. You're like, I can handle it. You're a bus. Sam's owns this bus. - I think there's something there Sam, you're in. - He's at our funeral. He's like, I always asked him how they did that. - Yeah. - I think that's, there's something there with you're an idealist when you set it and you're a realist. - I'm sure that's been done. - That's been done. - Yeah, I think I don't think that's like a-- - I don't know about that. - He's like this night guy and this morning guy. I'll be fine. Another movie, another ice cream Sunday and the morning guy's like, what do you do to me? - Yeah. - You fucking be night guy. - It's different, but it's a better version of whatever that is. It's like, that's just, it's been done better. - I gotta pee, this is comedy specific maybe, but you're in the showroom and you got a comic person, a friend, an associate, whatever. - Another open mic was about to get destroyed here. - That kid was a nice kid. I don't want to jump off the fucking bridge. But you got the comic in the showroom. You're both watching, oh man, this guy's really funny. Yeah, look at that, that's a great joke. But he won't stop talking in the showroom. So now I'm an accomplice because the guy, the comic's on stage like, hey, can you guys shut up back there? Who is that? What's going on? And I'm like, what do you do? We're comedians and you're breaking the cardinal rule of, you're a heckler now basically. You're talking during the show, like hit me in the lobby. - The loud talker, the loud talker's a tough one in the showroom. - And he's a comedian. So I'm like, you should know this is crazy. Now you're including me. So I'm a part of the crime now. - I've done, like, we got to keep it. It's usually a drunk guy. - That's usually what it was. - It's usually a shit face guy. He was just like talking way too loud. I'm like, hey, we should, we should keep it down a little and by we, I mean you. - Yeah, exactly. - Mr. Ninth tequila. - I know. I had the guy, I was at a New York Times club, sold out, I'm in the back by the door. And this guy's like, oh man, that's a great joke. I helped him write that. That was my tag and I'm like, shut the fuck up. We look like assholes. You're including me in the crime. - Loud talkers in quiet rooms are tough. - Yeah. - Even in a movie. You have watched a movie with someone and they just keep talking. - Yes. - It's like, even when it's just two of us, I'm like, what are you doing? Like, I'm all for the commentary during the low scenes without dialogue, but you can't talk over important dialogues. - I know. - That was pertinent to the plot right there. - How about the people get mad when you pause it? - I go further, I go back. - I go back too. - I want to see what happens. - I need every line. - That was one of my old bits is, you know. - Danny Hall? - Yeah. - She's talking to me the whole, she keeps telling me about her day and I'm, I pause and she's like, what? She's like, you're ignoring me for Annie Hall and I go, was your story nominee for Seven Academy Awards? (laughing) It's hard to wanna get away with these days 'cause now they're like, why, what are you all in? - Oh, you could twink it. You could twink it to-- - I'm not telling it anymore. - Sure. - But yeah, I know it's, I love when you're, I don't know. Talking is fun. bad movies. Right. Like, you want to want to watch a Steven Sugaw movie. Let's talk through it, make jokes the whole time. Yeah. You're watching like a really good, especially doing foreign films. I'm like, oh my god. It's hard enough to pay attention here. I know. I need the dialogue. I went to see the Matrix. This is how long ago this is. And my friends, like, I've seen it. You got to see it. You know, that guy's like, I'm going with you to see it. They watch you. They study your every reaction. Yes. Yes. They're not you. I hate that. I hate people watching me react. Leo, you're the one. Yeah. Or the guy was like, let me show you my hot rod. I built with my dad. And you're like, Oh, okay. Great. And he shows it to you. And you're like, Hey, how about that? And he's like, that's it. And you're like, wow. That's fun here. Let me enjoy the hot rod. I got it. Who's this for? Me or you? Oh, dude, the girl I'm seeing now or her ex is gay. So she'll like, tell me stuff. And my, and my enthusiasm is just not enough. Never. When you were with a gay guy before, she's like, I made this dress. I'm like, Oh, cool. And she's like, that's it. I'm like, yeah. That's all I have to give on a dress you made. I'm a, I'm a straight guy. Yeah. Exactly. Break some freaking, break some free agency Knicks news. And then I'll fucking lose my mind if you want to see a big reaction. Also, that could be a, could be a test to see if you're gay. Let me show you the dress. You're like, you're like, my ex. This is over. Yeah. I called it fabulous. It was weird. It's fierce. How about the guy who, uh, he showed you something. He wants your reaction. So you fake a big reaction. Then he yells at you for faking it. I'm like, which one is it? If I go, ah, that's cool. You go, that's it. But if I go, whoa, how about that? He's like, ah, you didn't mean it. I'm like, I can't win here. Yeah. It's a lot of. No win in life. Kid win. There's no winning. Can't be genuine. Can't be fake. No one makes it out of life. I guess I got a good wreck for you. And I, I text both of you guys about it because I haven't seen it since I was a kid. And I was definitely too young in the first time I saw it. Documentary hoop dreams in the 90s. It's a 10 out of 10 movie. It's like as good a doc as ever has been made. Yeah. Even you don't have to like basketball. Like I know people who love this who didn't, you'd never like basketball. It's, it's like three hours. Is this Chicago? Yes. Yes. They, they send the kid to the white school. Yeah. A lot of white people. Isaiah Thomas went there. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago guy. But dude, it's, it's so intimate. Like the way they show the family is and the dad is struggling with the drug addiction. And it's just like an incredible movie. Great. Well, this is what a doc is, is supposed to be. This is like top tier. Well, who made it? I forgot. It was three guys. Oh, really? And it's the first time I've ever seen a doc that like takes six years. Yes. Yes. And she the only eighth grade to college. What's that? eighth grade to college. Wow. And did they make it? They didn't make the MBA, but they, you know, they had college careers and yeah. It was, it's, it's a lot, a lot of stuff. A lot of emotions, the families are, it's complicated home lives. But then they're also like very loving parents. But then also, you know, one of the guys gets a scholarship or a vote because he was smaller and didn't really pan out. And then it turns out he's really good. Right. So it's just, it's crazy. It's a really, really good movie. Not just about basketball. It's a great, great, great doc. The 90s really embraced basketball. It was such a, remember like, uh, above the rim, hell yeah, space jam. And even every little thing was basketball back then. Michael Jordan, I guess, was Jordan just was crushing through the roof. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry. The director also made an Allen Iverson 30 for 30. Oh, shit. I heard that's a great one. I haven't seen it. Yeah. I mean, you can't go wrong with Iverson, man. No, no, hey, I, the original, uh, hoop tree. I mean, I got, I got to wreck off your wreck. Oh, which one was it? I hit Salik. It was I'm with the wife. We're bored. We already banged. She can't drink whatever. She's going through some stuff. So we need a show. We need a show. So I'm like, ah, I don't know any shows. We finished the Apple show. What is it called? The one on the island with those Bay, we finished. I'm starting that this week. And then it's good, right? It's good. It's good. It's it's cute. We hit up Salik use. And I go, well, you got any shows and he goes, I got one for you. Beef two. Ah, the second season of beef. And I was like, I didn't really love the first season. I like Ali Wong, whatever, but I didn't love the first season. He goes, this is totally different. It's got a white lotus vibe. It's better than white lotus. Whoa. I think this is so well written. The acting, the British woman is unbelievable. Asgarisix kills it. He's good. It's so well done. And it's one of those shows that makes you anxious when you're watching it and you're, you hate everybody, but you root for them, but you hate them, but they're bad people. Really well done. Beef two. Second season. Yeah. Check that out. It's right there on Netflix. You don't have to go searching for it. Yeah, I wasn't a big fan of season one. I watched the whole thing, but this is almost like a whole separate series. Oh, completely. Yeah. Damn. It's just these people are bad people are all out for themselves and they keep getting further and further into the shit. And I have to keep getting out of it. It's, it's one of those. It's really well done. Damn. Very good. All right. I'll give it, I'm gonna do widow's bay first, but are you doing World Cup? Are you watching anything? I mean, that, this will be dated by the time it comes out, but yeah, I mean, that fucking Viking from, uh, Oh, holland. That guy, holland days. Love that guy. He's great. I went on a deep dive with that guy. He's been doing this since he was 16, like, making those goals and he's 65 and, you know, he also probably would have been great at any sport. He's just one of those, he's like big and strong and fast. And you see these videos of him, like, you can push your body to another level. You just realize, like, there's a, and it's like, no, you can push your body to another level. He isn't biking. Well, that's what you want on a Norway. You want this guy and they got him and he's got some real DSLs on him too. Oh, yeah. He's a, have you seen all the news with the art, the Brazilian player. His girlfriend looks like this guy. Really? But he's AI-ing these two fucking and it went so viral that he hit up the Brazilian guy. He was a, he's like a young black guy and he's like, we got to do something together because this is like blowing up. Fuck your girlfriend. Yeah. So now they're, uh, they're hanging out. Damn, dude. But really cool. He's been going to Texas. There's all these videos of him and Texas putting on the, the cowboy hat and Cassus Deli. You can't just tell. That's great. That's a great photo after them. Everything's like 5 million views, 6 million views. The guys, uh, people love him. He's box office. Also, I'm watching this tennis man. The tennis has been great. The Wemmelden men and women. Oh, I mean, shit. I mean, nobody's so fun man. Great, great matches. Love tennis. What a, what a, yeah. Joker bitch had a fucking amazing match the other day. He's the man. He's hanging on. He's hanging on. Yeah. He said, so it's so badass. That's a cool thing about these athletes. They get older and it's like it's certain time father times going to take over. But the ones that kind of hang on. Yes. He is the goat. He really is cool, dude. It's all mental. Uh, yeah. Soccer's fun, man. I'm enjoying it. We had lunch at the cellar yesterday in that Argentina game. Oh, my god. Messy is really, really imagining. I was looking like Jalen Brunson out there. I know. I'm probably fine. I tied it to the Nix Amal. No, he's, he's unreal. He's you know, I've been enjoying about this World Cup thing is all the people from Europe and Africa and South America coming to the United States and loving it and loving it being like, I heard this was a hell hole. I heard that, you know, the streets are dangerous. And they're like, people are giving me free rides. I'm getting. Yes. People from Haiti are like we heard it was unsafe here. Right. So I think they get a restaurant. There's air conditioning going and they get ice in a water glass that blows their mind. They're all addicted to ranch. They're going to buckies and cost branch. They love it. Love a good buckies, dude. Oh, yeah. Fuck the Louvre. We got buckies. Yeah. No, it's, uh, it's cool. That's hilarious. The Trump tried to talk to FIFA. He did fix it though. He fixed it, but he's bad luck. We lost the one next game. They lost in like 13 games. There's the one he went to when I say I fixed it and he rigged it. He rigged it. He actually rigged it. Yeah, he didn't. Yeah. He rigged it and we lost. And then he didn't say anything. Right. I know. So I love that he's like, I've been looking into it. Apparently a red card means you have to shift the next game. We're like, you didn't know that? He said, he said, we'll have better luck next year. He's also got rid of some green cards. Okay. But yeah, yeah, the whole thing sucks. So we still, we still blew it. And we're not all our good athletes are playing different sports. It's not our sport. If we're going to adopt a foreign sport, it should have been sumo. We got the fatties. We can do it. Uh, we're, we're just not. It's not a soccer. We got enough people. If we, if we, if we had like a LeBron playing, you know, yeah, what were the, with the WNBA of soccer? Sadly, it's just not for us. I'm sorry. It's low scoring. No, and women's basketball. We fucking own it, dude. That's true. Well, what are we? New York? No, no, no, not won't. I mean, the US, the US. Yeah, yeah. We got the fever. Also, women's women won the US women won the last three world cups or something. That's a good point. Yeah. We do something. Well, because they, because there's no money in any women's sports, except for like tennis and golf. So they're like, we'll just play soccer because we love it. You got to love it and turns out that leads to winning. Yeah. All right. I got a Brea improv coming up August 21st through 23rd. Then we got a Europe. We got Lisbon, Athens, Budapest, Zagreb, Vienna, Warsaw. I added a second night there. We got Helsinki, Sweden, Copenhagen. And then I added a couple of club dates. I'm going to add more. Stay tuned for more dates. Just go to punchup.live/shameral/tour. And yeah, I got Nashville for a couple of nights And then I got American comedy co-incident. San Diego the last two weeks of September. So yeah, fun rooms getting back into the swing of things Hopefully I have some jokes that aren't about my penis or a vagina by then I will I will the materials gonna keep getting better guys So I'll see I'll see you soon out there hell yeah, well, that's gonna be a fun Europe run. I'm prompted. Oh, yeah Zagreb. I hear it's unreal really. Yeah, I hear it's awesome. Never been I would look at the out the like the beaches are sick too But it's like a really cool town. All right, I'm at the clubhouse in East Hampton That's actually a really fun room and make it big a weekend out of it with the kid San Francisco coming to Cubs love it Houston improv. We'll see you there. It's gonna be hot as shit Zany's in Nashville Pittsburgh improv Laugh shop Calgary Casino Regina act me in mini app last over 10. We said Casino Regina. I know it. It's buddy A lot of Regina Austin Powers so that in the theater too County works in Denver at the heat and Charlton musical Charleston musical can't wait to get down to Charles I got a bucket gig there and communist state in Wisconsin and Madison Helium in Portland and that'll that'll be good for a while come on out say hello get some bodega cat We gotta we should have some merch cooking soon. Oh cool new a lot of you guys I guess we're in the mark shirt. I was into it. That's for sure I was like how do we not make these so from a few episodes ago? I think it was the next episode Yeah, it was the next color so I love that shirt man a lot of cool little drunk cat. Yeah So yeah, we're gonna get those on shirts on sweatshirts on hats We're gonna get some really cool shit made uh, but hey got whiskey dot com follow the but hey cat whiskey on Instagram What do you got what do you got so I just had a doc get released? It's called Jeff our curry you better fucking laugh. Oh It's a tour doc where he's trying to build an hour for his Netflix special while his wife is going through cancer treatment. Oh, wow Yeah, heavy stuff. I heard both of them almost died All right Right there. No, I heard I heard it's very good. Give it a give it a watch. It's on his YouTube page All right, well, we're cooking. Thanks folks. We'll see you next time with a guest. All right I'm out to lunch here in New Orleans. This woman doesn't look like I remember We

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. The hosts discuss personal anecdotes, including a canceled flight, a slushie maker, and a bagel shop without a bagel license.
  2. They share experiences with an overly eager young comic on the subway who asks for career advice, highlighting the awkwardness of such interactions.
  3. They critique the movie "Citizen Vigilante" starring Armie Hammer, citing poor reviews and a controversial production.
  4. They joke about topics like Ozempic, sex work, and the irony of privileged people seeking "roughing it" experiences like camping or fasting.
  5. They recommend "Hoop Dreams" as a top-tier documentary and "Beef" season two as a compelling show, praising its writing and acting.
  6. They discuss the World Cup, praising players like the Dutch forward and Messi, and note foreigners' positive reactions to the U.S.

Summary:

The conversation is a casual, humorous exchange between two comedians, touching on personal stories and observational comedy. They begin with anecdotes about a disastrous Fourth of July trip, a slushie maker, and a newly opened bagel shop that lacks a bagel license, sparking jokes about bureaucracy. A significant portion involves a young comic approaching one host on the subway for advice, leading to a discussion about the awkwardness of fan interactions and the importance of boundaries.

They also critique the poorly received film "Citizen Vigilante," starring Armie Hammer, and joke about its absurd premise. The hosts then explore potential comedy bits, including the irony of Ozempic use in a world where some starve, the parallels between comedy and sex work, and the romanticization of historical poverty. They share recommendations, praising the documentary "Hoop Dreams" and the Netflix series "Beef" season two.

S. Throughout, the tone is playful and self-deprecating, blending humor with genuine observations about life, comedy, and culture.

FAQs

The bagel place was open for two days but didn't have their license to sell bagels yet, so they were only selling sandwiches. The speaker found this ridiculous because you can't open a bagel place without bagels.

He felt trapped but gave the young comic advice, saying it takes time to make it. He eventually gave him his number after the young comic gave him an out, and now he's rooting for him.

The speaker finds it inconsiderate when a partner uses the snooze button on the alarm, as it disrupts sleep. He values sleeping in as one of the perks of being a comedian.

He jokes that fat people are becoming endangered and compares using Ozempic to paying money to not be hungry while others starve. He finds it ironic that people use health insurance to be unhealthy.

The speaker recommends 'Beef Two' on Netflix, saying it's totally different from season one, with a 'White Lotus vibe,' great acting, and a well-written story about bad people getting into trouble.

He jokes that comedians are never fully present because they're always chasing a joke, even during intimate moments. He contrasts this with musicians who write songs about partners, while comedians might write a joke that mocks the situation.

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