Olivia Colman

Hi, my name is Olivia Colman, and I feel incredibly excited about being Conan O'Brien's friend. That's lovely. That's very nice. I didn't know how that would go. I was going to say indifferent, but I thought that would be it. It's funny, when you said indifferent, it sounded more real and natural. Really like it came from the heart. And she's a great actress. You are a great actress. All is well, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walkin' loose, climb the fence, books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there, and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Got the normal whack pack with me today. Son of Session, Matt Gourley, and then, this is unusual, but we've brought in David. David Hopping. Hello. Usually you sub for Sona, but today we, I wanted you here. And Matt. And Matt. You make it sound like I'm always out, but. Well, you're out a lot. Well, Matt's sick a lot. You got a lot going on. Matt's sickly. Okay. Matt's sickly. Guys, we're going down. Again? And he keeps having babies. He's the only guy I know who has an iron lung and uses it, but doesn't need to. He just does it as an affectation. Can I justify it? I was at King Richard's Antique Mall, and it was just staring at me. Wow, a 1938 Alivator. From DuPont. Yeah, from DuPont. I don't understand any of it. I wanted, David, I wanted you to be here because you and I just took, I've been in New York a lot lately, and you've been going with me. Yeah. I've had a lot of different gigs and things that I need to show up for in New York, and I'm about to go again. And I think this month I'll have been there maybe three times in like four weeks. It's pretty insane. But, you know, I've been in New York a lot lately, and I've been in New York a lot lately, and I bring it up because it's really fun to go to New York. It is. And walk around and get this blast of energy. You know, I can't hide. When I put on a hat and glasses, people say, hey, Conan with hat and glasses. Well, even COVID, when you would wear a mask, you couldn't hide. Yeah. Well, the mask said, my name is Conan O'Brien. Yeah. Please talk to me. It was just a photorealistic printout of that part of your face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I had punched holes in it so I could talk to people more efficiently. Boy, did I get sick. We took the subway. I wish you guys would have been there. It was like Conan set up for like half an hour, a private meet and greet on the subway because we were at one corner. It works perfectly because every time, every time. I'm glad I wasn't there. Every time. I'm cool. Yeah, you guys are good. No, every time it would stop, the car would empty out and all the people I talked to would say, well, bye, Conan, bye. And thanks for the advice. And they would get me out of the car. And they would get off. And then new people would come on and it would start all over again. You're just holding office hours. I was holding office hours like a college professor with no skills. And it was, but it was fun. And we got down to, and then we were, there was one point where you and I were walking around and about, I want to say 50 kids who come from Northern Ireland. Yes. They were all teenagers, saw me, recognized me for whatever, you know, from, I guess from the internet, whatever. And they were just from geneticism. Yeah. Just like a tingling in their blood. His style is all fecked up like ours. Some kind of druid sixth sense. I sense inbreeding. It's Conan O'Brien. But they came over and we just had a massive genetic get together in Midtown on a street corner. It was so much fun. And I saw a video of you online. I wasn't with you for this one, but you're in Central Park meeting a bunch of people. And someone was like, it's like Conan O'Brien's the nicest guy. And it's just you walking. That's what I'm doing my nice guy act. Oh. Then the minute the cameras are down. But I was also seeing things I saw. There was a group of like 20 women doing yoga in the park together, you know, doing all the different poses. And there are all these empty wine bottles around them. Like they drink a lot of wine. And you were just watching from the bushes. Well, no, no. I was sketching them. I carry a sketchbook so I can get away with this. Sketchy for sure. Yeah, exactly. They're like, you're not. You're not holding a pen. No, you just see all these things that are fascinating. It doesn't happen as much in L.A. Well, it's got to be like you're kind of like the almost the local boy. Come home this this politician walking around and everybody knows you and loves you. You know, I'm not sure they love me. I think the nice thing about New York is if they don't love you, they just keep moving. So it's positive selection. OK, it's not negative selection. You get, you know, oh, I know him and I I don't loathe him. I'll go over and say hi. But it was we had a lot of adventures. We did. And walking around with you is fun, too, because you get like the whole Conan O'Brien history tour. Like as we're walking, he'll be like, oh, I lived there for a year. I did a skit here. So much of it is. Well, first of all, I lived in almost one apartment a year between all my time at Saturday Night Live and all my time doing late night. If you add that, it comes to almost it's about 19 or 20 years. You add it all up. And there was a period of my life where I sublet and I was always there in an apartment for a year, maybe a year and a half. And they're all over Manhattan. So I'm constantly it's not one or two apartments that I lived in. It's hundreds of oh, my God, I'm moving around like a killer. But the crazier thing is I cannot pass a street corner and not remember, oh, here's where I was dressed in lederhosen throwing melted chocolate on people. Oh, here I am with a Vigoda and we were throwing snowballs at Mayor Koch, like whatever we shot for years and years and years, so many things. And that's what I think of night. I'm not a romantic kiss with my fiance. No, I don't have any memories like that. Because that didn't happen. Well, it's going to happen. I'm going to kiss Liza one day if she allows it. Oh, that'll be sweet. Do you ever get a break from kind of going along with Conan? Get your own time? I do. And is that you can speak freely? Yeah. No, he's good about it. He does that feel like like a break? Let him speak. OK. He's leading the witness and then there's making the witness say something unpleasant. I'll remind you you're under oath. Isn't it great? Doesn't it feel great? But David, do you or do you not get your own time? Don't you love it? What do I encourage? I have my own time. I've said this, I think, on here before, but he every New York trip, Conan will buy me a ticket to a Broadway show. What the fuck? Yeah, but it's only the Rockettes every time. I've been to New York with you a million times. You never bought me a ticket to the Broadway show. I went with you a couple of times. No, wait a minute. First of all, I said as many hot dogs as you want, as long as it's street food. And you said, great. And then I said hot dogs or each time a ticket to a Broadway show. And you said hot dogs before I finished the sentence. Yeah, I like hot dogs. I do like hot dogs. As many as you want. You also like to just like chill in your hotel when you're in New York. No, back then I would go hard. Yeah, no, that was, I had things. You were not interested in seeing a Broadway show. You were interested in becoming a different person. But it was never an option. Maybe moving in with someone. OK, let's move on. It was fun. Good times. Good times. I would lose her for months at a time. Really? Yeah. And then it turns out, oh, no, she runs a strip joint downtown. She's making a killing. Sona, she's a butcher now. Yeah. And then I did this. What was really fun is Tina asked me to, Tina Fey asked me to join in on this 30 Rock reunion that was at Radio City. That was so much fun because so many great people were there backstage. And it was just a great hang. That was my, like, first of all, catching up with Tina, catching up with, you know, Alec Baldwin and Jack McBrayer and she does everybody who's associated with that show. It was so much fun. And you saw me have a complete meltdown because I try to be normal for half a second with Jack McBrayer. And then I go right into sketch. Not even. Not even. No, I go right into sketch mode. And then he's looking at you saying, why? Why won't he stop? Before he left, he came up to tell me that he was glad he could fill in to take all the all the heat from you for one night. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Because he does get on you. And for similar things about, like, how elevators work and how tall the buildings are. Yeah. Hey, any Jack McBrayer riff is also a David Hopping riff. You need to find ways to regenerate these things. Oh, you know, I'm saying the riff that works for Jack McBrayer of him being a hick slides right over to David Hopping and you get to repurpose. You mean if you don't use that muscle, you'll lose it. Is that what you mean? It's important for you to continue and find. I was thinking of it more like recycling instead of a bit going to waste. You get to use it twice. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. That's being resourceful. Yeah. OK, that's good. Yeah. Like all the riffs that I do about you, I could also use if I met a Yeti, maybe. You know what I mean? A Yeti? Yeah. Some crazy beast that came out of the woods. Hair flying. Insane. Could you use Gorley's on? Yeah. Oh, my God. You have no idea. Well, Gorley's a special case. Gorley is special. Yeah. What's that supposed to mean? You're a bespoke weirdo. You know, it doesn't. It's a compliment. I'm my own kind of freak. Exactly. Yeah, I'll take that. Anyway, I had a wonderful time. It was really a lot of fun. And yeah, I think I'll be. We'll be back in like two days. Yeah, we'll be back in a few days. What show are you going to see this time? I don't know yet. Yeah. Figure it out. I usually do a last minute choice. And I'm going to pretty much live on the L. So you can come see me. I'm just going to ride the L back and forth. I'm going to start taking cash and charging people to go up and say hi. There you go. I'm going to sit there. I'm going to set up a desk and just talk to people. It's going to be a lot of fun. Yeah. All right. Let's get into it. My guest today is an Academy Award. winning actress, you know, from The Crown and favorite uh now you can see her in the new movie wicker uh i think she's one of the best actors working she's one of my favorite people that ever walked to the yeah yeah she's absolutely incredible and i'm i can't wait i'm thrilled she's here today olivia coleman welcome this is a special day for us and uh i'll tell you why uh i adore you i think you're one of my favorite actors you have been for quite a while and then i get to work today and um because i need to now fly to new york right after this podcast i had a car pick me up which is unusual so a town car picked me up at home and dropped me off here at work i know posh very posh an aristocrat i didn't say a good town car um but we pull up and everyone from the office thought it was you and everyone rushed out and i saw a degree of love and respect that i have never seen before and then i come in and everyone's dressed up they're all looking out the window waiting for you and i have to say olivia my feelings are hurt i've never come close to this level of excitement so you should come to my house that would happen at my house i don't think so that's very nice of you it would i promise okay you'll you'll coach them before i yeah i'll pay them you'll say he's from america we are going to be talking about your new wicker which i was allowed to see night before last and i adore it it's fantastic and i told you sometimes they tell me well to help with the interview conan gets to see the movie and sometimes it doesn't help because occasionally i'm not naming names but occasionally the movie is shit and i well i shouldn't say that uh oh you should do well sometimes i think we can both agree it's a it's a tricky thing to make a really good movie wicker is fantastic thank you very much it's really we do all make films that are that are bad just you know can't help it but i'm really pleased you love wicker i absolutely love it cast is amazing uh i saw some of them the other night at some hollywood event that i needed to do a a turn at i saw alexander skarsgård who i know a little bit who plays your wicker husband beautifully yes and elizabeth help me with her last name debicki debicki um i've been very happily married for a long time yeah and i remain happily married but elizabeth debicki i'm still recovering oh she's breathtaking yeah she is absolutely breathtaking and she's amazing in the film yeah and then of course you've got you've got peter dinklage oh my god he's amazing as well who frightens me a little bit um he's intimidating that fellow he's so brilliant he's so brilliant but uh i i always think he's he's very funny he's extremely funny yeah we will talk more about the film i wanted to start talking about you i think the first time you came to my attention was hot fuzz oh wow i was watching the film hot fuzz and i love i love those series of films and hot fuzz is a favorite my son and i watch hot fuzz all the time together and the first time i saw you you had the smallest part but you are so funny and you really pop in that film and now all these years later it's strange to see you in such a small part but because it's like wait a minute you know uh that's oscar winning olivia coleman uh who's great in everything and you're great in this but it's such a small part it took you a while your career was a slow burn yes oh yes and for the first year after drama school i think i did a hundred auditions didn't get a single one oh my god i know and um lots of lots of temping and working at cleaning and but i'm very grateful for those years because that means i'm i'm appreciative of working yeah you get paid more in doing a film than cleaning do you ever tell her to go back to the cleaning because i did love that job actually i did if i could get paid more i you know yeah you could make the same amount you make making oscar winning movies uh maybe yeah maybe the cleaning would be yeah because you get to work with all those chemicals it's fun it's so much fun but i felt i i took great pride in knowing that for example if there was if there was a weird sort of nanny cam they'd know that i was very well behaved never looking didn't look at anyone's drawers you know what's funny now people are going to be reviewing their nanny cams if they still have the footage yeah that's olivia coleman scrubbing out my and she's very good you you've described yourself as not being a very good student not on purpose some people do it on purpose oh boy do i know trigonometry but i choose not to i just i've struggled to concentrate a lot of the time uh and i was i think jolly try you know i just wasn't very wasn't very good at concentrating that same as when i was a waitress yeah enthusiastic not necessarily good at it did you bring you a sandwich we wouldn't order a sandwich i actually prefer this that's my kind of wait thank you yeah it's diagnostic serving yeah yeah yeah did you uh were you the kind that was confident you didn't write things down it terrifies me when uh a waiter comes over and you're telling them what i'd like as a reuben sandwich but if you could go easy on the cheese and if you could and they're like uh-huh uh-huh and you know there's no way they get this yeah yeah i'm so sorry am i allowed to swear you're allowed to swear oh fuck for that okay now you've gone too far they don't like that this is over i'm so sorry no no well people love it when women say it yeah when a man says it he's put in a prison i think unless you're english in which case you can say it in an affectionate way no no no in england right it's a whole other ball game it is it is so it's quite alarming when people look shocked when i say it here i have learned over the years to try not to no no no you're olivia coleman you've earned the yes yeah i would say cunt it up um no no it's over for me now now i'm sorry but i'm gonna get a t-shirt that says that there's nothing pearl clutching about hearing it but hearing you say it for the worst it's the worst yeah i'm gonna stick with it you take that out i'll kill you because you know what if this is what ends me in this country i'm okay with that yeah um you talk about these you struggle for a while but then you you're in broad church i remember i think you were so good in broad church and i love i i just have a soft spot always for i don't i don't know if you guys are the same but if the brits are making it i always assume it's going to be good and i just have that i don't know if it's a self-effacing thing but i i generally uh when i'm watching brit box which i watch a lot and i'm watching different shows that are from britain especially i grew up idolizing british comedy just idolizing it and i always thought well they're just better than us at this that's interesting i think we feel the same in the other direction really americans and the way they overlap their lines it feels so natural and we try it and it doesn't feel quite really i think that's just impatience and selfishness on our part i'm like i'm not talking enough hey i'm talking see no i'm talking but um that's so i think there's a naturalism that americans do which we i i really i love i try to copy it but it doesn't i don't know if i'm i'll try more i'll i'll be better i think this is the reason you've largely failed really your own fault i thought you were great in broad church and then um i love the night manager and uh excuse me did i make a noise yeah first of all i'm just i think le carre and olivia coleman are two of my favorite things that ever existed on this planet i'm sorry to embarrass you but yeah it's just he will be following you he'll be following you when you leave yes but in a spy way like a le carre way yeah when you're creepy about it and furtive um night manager so good and i was so delighted there was another one and that and and for a while i think it was a surprise that you were going to be back because i thought well there's no way they get olivia coleman back you've just become you're too big now uh and then when you showed up i was just over the moon oh yeah so uh and then of course the crown i mean i'm just running through your resume but people need to understand that you have been from my point of view unerring you've just everything you do you you pick very well and then you're just kind of perfect in things and so i want you to leave filled with joy this is literally the best day i've ever had thanks guys until i said cunt it up which you just did again yeah that's two yeah um yeah the crown and one of the things that's uh i thought the crown series was impeccable and the fact that they they chose which i thought was brilliant to not start with claire foy and then age her the the way different yeah actresses came in and took over the part and it was so powerful and because of the caliber of the acting i never thought well we've got it who's you know why have we switched out a new other it was perfection that was a brilliant idea of theirs and also it is too hard i mean you are sort of different people as you go through your life yeah i suppose i'm a very different person to when i was a teenager i'll probably be very different and much more grumpy when i'm you know in my 80s but um that's not suggesting anyone is i'm just thinking let me take that on myself that's not what you meant but i know some terrible old people that's coming from that's coming from me and if you're out there and you're an old terrible person and you have a problem with what i just said just try and catch me you old fool oh dear we're done trust me this is my last podcast but what a way to go out no it was it was a brilliant idea and you're right you pick up the queen in different moments of her life but I was completely convinced it was the same person yeah yeah and I was very moved when it ended yeah and also the timing was I think it was very close to the time that she died that the final episode came out and even people who aren't royalists and I'm not a royalist but I see them all as human beings and she was beloved by everyone she was a really impressive human being and so yeah everybody was shocked weirdly she was old but you just think she's going to keep going you think about it there's she was part of you know the closest corollary we have in America is Franklin Roosevelt was president for like 16 years wow and when he died in 1945 there were people who he had been the only president they ever knew well yeah so people were stunned and then you think well Queen Elizabeth was in her 90s yeah yeah she was early 20s wasn't she when she came to the throne I think yeah wasn't she yeah was she on honeymoon when she came back and her father had died I believe so I really should know this because I haven't heard I'm sorry you were in the show I can answer questions about me and that's about it I have to mention again and then I'll get I'll be done with your resume but it's just insane the favorite which I rewatched last night did you in preparation for you being here and I've now seen it I think four times oh wow and it's it's flawless and obviously you won the Oscar for that role but I was watching the part and again the acting throughout is brilliant and the writing is brilliant but you're when the camera holds on you as Queen Anne when it holds on you watching the dance yes you're watching the dance and you're you seem pleased and then we see the darkness descend on you and it's a really long take and you don't have a line for the longest time and I was watching that and I thought well that that is the power of cinema at its best and I don't understand what it takes to be able to do that but it's nice when people leave the camera running because then you get to and it's well written you know and also Rachel and was she dancing with Joe were and they're doing it Joe Allen and Rachel Weisz are dancing together and you're watching them and then you just see this cloud start to descend on you and but I think that's a good director a good writer gorgeous performers who are helping who are your team they're on they're on your side they're doing it for you but Yorgos told me this is what you're thinking and so this is easy can you tell me what he said you're loving watching your lover dance you become jealous that you can't do it you become you know and this sort of neurosis kicks in but to be able to have the camera just staying on you is a treat so it's I think lots of people can do that and just everyone cuts around it normally right well I'm not going to go with you on lots of people can do it maybe you'll say that but I'm going to go a different way but thank you very much that's very nice oh my god it's just extraordinary and it's funny because I read a quote of yours which you said acting is the only thing I can do I'm bad at everything else and that you actually if I say I'm going to cook for you say no no well I'm in the same camp oh really I'm in the same camp I'm very bad at a lot of things and whenever people on the off chance that someone does compliment me and it will happen someday I not here are you fishing I don't know do you want us to right now no no I know not to fish in this pond there hasn't been a fish in this pond in 700 years right but you actively wish like you played an instrument or that you had this what is there must be something else that you're really good at I'm really good at folding well let's find out that's amazing do you do those kind of like secret super folds that are like tricky hacks or you're just good at traditional folding I don't know about hacks yeah traditional folding my linen cupboard is so beautiful and if any of my kids don't go to get something out and they leave it sort of with the corner up oh it makes my head itch I have to go back in and redo it fix it up yeah okay so folding we've got that folding we know that you're going to fold you're a good cleaner I'm good at cleaning yeah is there one kind of food that you can make I mean I'm quite good at baking okay well there you go that's good yeah only because my husband's not really interested in baking so I get the glory at the end of you know I've done a pudding that's so funny my wife cooks everything and she's very good but I don't think she thinks it's because that she gets all the glory it's because she knows I can make the ramen's instant soup where you you know you pour the packet into the yeah you just pour hot water into the noodles I know how to do that okay that's good and I can make a tuna fish sandwich that's pretty good yeah that's good no it's not no no I'm being kind you're a terrible actor I'm realizing now when you don't believe in it that's very good you cried a little bit when you said that you have said that a role that you would love to play is Mrs. M on the Bond film now this now this man desperate desperate you mean M right M not Mrs. M like the wife of M you mean I have been calling on the gods for you to play M for forever thank you I say it whenever I get the chance maybe I've done it too much we met one of the gentlemen that's producing the new Bond did you did you say that he was around I met him at a party he also he's done the Bond franchise he's responsible now for the new Bond yeah he's starting on the Bond yeah he's starting the new Bond and he but he's done Paddington David Heyman yeah those are remarkable films his name David Heyman David Heyman well I know David Heyman okay let's make this happen if you know David Heyman that's when you know someone she doesn't know in a way right I mean excuse me I'm sorry excuse me Sona excuse me we don't have time for this petty bullshit we've got to get her M okay I'm going to phone David but wait a minute I didn't think of doing that do you realize oh wait a minute Ralph Fiennes what is he doing now is he got the role now he's M he's playing President Snow in the Hunger Games oh so he's busy he doesn't need M he's busy he sold his soul he's done also Ralph Fiennes he's fine but come on he's not really an actor oh my god it has to be you it has to be you by the way just for anyone who's confused or just reading a transcript and didn't read my tone he's one of my all time favorite actors as well he's amazing that's the thing when you read a transcript so at one interview I said I wanted M and then fucking Ralph got it and and in black and white that looks awful right well but if they know you only a heartless because I love him yeah he's amazing he's wonderful but you'd be fantastic and I know that people listen to me and my takes on who should play who this is a problem here I think this is where we get into trouble you think I'm off my meds again yeah yeah well I think you would be absolutely amazing and it's going to happen it's got to happen it's got to happen it's got to happen because it's perfect thanks guys thanks you're not being coy you don't know we don't know something we don't know oh no no no no I can't you can't right okay no but imagine her in the the wood paneled office with the leather quilted door I know it's just it's just got to happen it's got to happen yeah listen from your lips and I'm not going to say to God's ear we know the person to talk to yeah from my lips to David Heyman's we're going to talk to David Heyman yeah and he's my friend now now when he hears that he's going to say well that's not really true I chatted with you at a party and you asked me way too many questions about the new Bond but I believe we are best friends now in my mind how's it going with you asking him if I could play Bond oh yes he actually choked he choked on a shrimp canopy okay when I said that I showed him your picture thank you thank you see and she's M no he said you'd be good at the person who comes to repair Bond's his clock yes no no not even a cool gadget just a little clock that's a little off and you come in and you I'll take it I'll take it you've said something that really you're aiming so high I'm so sorry he's so excited you've never we're all very excited but when you take when you cross the beam of Olivia Colman and Bond your wig starts spinning and I know it's a wig yeah and it's I'm just in I won't even belabor it anymore okay you have said fame you find fame the whole concept of fame kind of embarrassing which I think is delightful and it's why you're delightful but that it just feels silly yeah yeah and it so depends on who you have around you as well I just sort of keep my head down and and I'm very lucky my husband and I met when we were 20 so he thought I was annoying long before everyone else realized and yeah and I was already a grown up before it happened yes but I'm still not good at it when I'm at work I you know but when someone someone takes a video of you and you're not at work. Or I just think that's very odd and I don't know how people cope. Yeah. Yeah. So I tend to not go out. That's too bad. I don't like that for you. Oh, I do. Oh, okay. That's why my linen cupboard is so. More folding time. Sometimes you're given a gift, but it's also problematic. And for you, you've talked about this. You're a sensitive person. And this is, I'm sure, enormously helpful to you as an actor, but also probably at times problematic too. Yes. You've said that it is hard for you when you're doing a scene not to feel the emotions. There's no barrier. You're not able to control that as much. Yeah, I'm a very simple creature, I think. When people ask, how do you do it? I don't know. Just say it and it's sad. Your lectures on acting are very short. I don't know. I always said my book on acting would be really short. Yeah. But you talk about, this is fascinating, you did a scene, I think it was with Helena Bonham Carter, you did a scene with her, and you couldn't stop. It required for you to be sort of self-possessed, as the Queen would be, self-possessed and not emotive, but you kept getting very emotional because you couldn't stop, you couldn't help it. Yeah. So what did you do? Because she was saying, which I can't repeat because it would make me cry, but she was talking about an event that happened in Wales. Mm-hmm. Yes. And she was Princess Margaret, and her husband. Her husband had gone to go and volunteer to help. Yeah. Her character was telling me about it, and I was meant to be trying to bravely listen. And I kept going, "Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah." Sorry. And then everyone just went. And it was quite early on, I think, as well, in my. Yeah. In your reign, I believe it was the coal miner, there was a collapse or a landslide in a coal mine, and it was devastating to a community, and this was a huge moment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was a huge moment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's just terrible. Yeah. Awful. And so I couldn't listen to it. And then, so the lovely sound department gave me an earpiece, and just played loudly the shipping forecast. So, Helena went, "This is charming." So I first. It's great. A shipment from Ikea, of course, would be slightly delayed, and then you burst into tears. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So I was wondering why the queen was wearing a giant earpiece during that very powerful scene. I told you that I was very fortunate enough to see "Wicker." One of my favorite ways to go into a movie is to know absolutely nothing. Yeah. And what I loved about my experience with "Wicker" is, I absolutely. I don't know. I can't even. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the things about my experience with "Wicker" is I knew absolutely nothing. That's quite impressive, because, weirdly, that trailer, everyone has seen. Yeah. No, no. A lot of people have seen the trailer, but. Yeah. I've seen it a few times. I am not. What's that supposed to say? I love that. I'm not into. I am not on social media as much. I mean. And so. And I haven't been in a movie theater for a while, so I haven't seen the trailer. And so it just starts. I love that. And I immediately was captivated. You make these transformations that are completely. 100% honest. The way the movie starts, you're just this outcast, and then once a husband. Once you're presented with a husband who, by the way, is Alexander Skarsgard, and he's made of wicker. Oh, yeah. She's done well. Yeah. And I also love. This says a lot about Alexander Skarsgard. He's made of wicker, but because it's Alexander Skarsgard, I'm like, "I would do that guy." Yeah. Yeah. Even if he's wicker, I don't care. Same. Yeah. He is so beautiful. Yeah. And a lovely person. Oh, my God. He's lovely, and he's funny, and he's witty, and he's self-deprecating, and it was just. Doing press tour with him has been so nice. Yeah. Yeah. And then I also saw there's certain notes that I've seen throughout your career, but you're so good as you were in The Favourite. Everything's kind of perfect, and I don't want to give away too much, but then it's very human. Doubt and jealousy start to come into it. Yeah. And it's heartbreaking. But it's just lovely. Really lovely. Thank you. We're so proud of it. And you make a small art house film, and it's hard work, and people are really committed to it. And then that it's had a sort of life of its own, and when the director's cut the trailer, it's really good. And it also doesn't show 90% of the film, which is really nice, because they hate it when. That's what makes me crazy. You see all the best bits are in a trailer. Yeah. That's what it makes me crazy with my kids, is they'll say, "I want to see the trailer for Jaws." And the trailer, there's a shark, "Oh, no, it's killing people. Don't worry, we blew it up. Go see it." I'm like, "Why?" Spoiler alert. Yeah. Spoiler alert. This film was made in 1975. Oh, okay. If you haven't seen Jaws, go fuck yourself. Whoa! I'm sorry, Olivia. I was trying to be very. I was trying to be on my best behavior today, and I've completely blown it. I love it. You just cunted it up. That's what you did. That's three. That's it. Also, just if I could. Yeah, of course. Go ahead. The fisher woman, she doesn't become happier because she's got a husband. She was very happy on her own, and the only woman in the village with agency in her own job and her own name, fisher woman, everyone else is named after their husband's job. And she orders her husband in order to shut them all up and to sort of have the last laugh and mock their obsession with marriage and the whole concept of marriage. But she just. Yeah. I love it that you can see this strong person. Yeah. The cracks appear because love is getting in, and it makes that she's doubtful and suddenly not as strong. And then when she realizes it's love, it's just, oh, I love it. I loved the story when I read it. It's a beautiful film. People love the trailer, and it's been a huge success. I did not see it before I watched the movie, and I've seen it since. But people have been having a lot of fun with it, and IKEA did something really brilliant. Have you heard about this? No. Yeah. Do you want to say what it is? It was the Australia IKEA, wasn't it? Yeah. They had online things. I don't have social media either, so other people sent it to me, but they had a wicker bench, and it said, "Husband material," and then it said, "If you know, you know." It was so. Yeah, we just got the press kit. Look at these amazing things you brought us. Yeah. So this is. You brought. First of all, this should be a new policy that everyone has to bring guests. Yes. Yes. And it's going to be called the Olivia Colman rule. I already opened mine. Oh, okay. That's good drama. Sorry. No, I can't open a box. There it is. We were having a conversation about what this is. Yeah. We were having a conversation. Are you going to bust? Yeah. Okay. That's what I said, but that's not what you said. What did you say? That is not what I thought. I can't. What did you say? I said it was a wicker dick. Oh. That's a funny shape. It is. That's what Gordon said. Olivia, I want to apologize. This won't air. This won't go out. And so this will not be promotion forever. I have only seen the trailer, but yes, that's. But it's beautiful. And. So we had. Black Bear Offices. Black Bear Offices. Yes. Black Bear Offices. We had a press yesterday, some press, and they had some of these. This is amazing. Aren't they lovely? I also love crafts. You know what's amazing, too, is. What kind of crafts do you do? I like sewing and pottery and. You are good at things. Yes, you are. I know, but I have a feeling. I am enthusiastic and there's a difference. Well, that matters. That's all that matters. It says here you're a physicist. The depiction of Peter Dinklage's character, the wicker craftsman, working is so beautiful. Yeah. It's beautifully shot that, and I'm one of those people who, when I do go online, if someone is restoring an old motorcycle they found in a barn and taking all the oil off and putting it back together and welding things, I can watch that forever. And the same thing with someone who has a real skill. Yeah. Just, I was mesmerized when Peter Dinklage is building the wicker man. Yeah. And it's kind of captivating. And he did learn to weave, so he made a basket, which he kept and is in his house in New York. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I was going to say, it's gone. No, it's gone. Sorry. Well, that can't happen again. Yeah. Sorry. Really useful. So you had an idea and now it's just gone? Yeah. Totally gone. Well, what do we do now? Wicker? Was it sewing? Ceramics? Was it Peter Dinklage? Was it physicist? You're a physicist. Yeah. That's what it was. Yeah. You sew clothes or what do you usually sew? Oh, curtains. Simple curtains or patchwork quilts. Do you use a sewing machine? A sewing machine. I'm sorry. For the Lister, what were you doing? Stitch, stitch, stitch, stitch. It looked like you were pumping Italian soda. Have you seen my sewing machine? My sewing machine is a very strange one. Is that driving as well? Yeah. Cycling. I don't know. You know what I was doing? I don't know why I did that. I'm so embarrassed. Was that the wheel of the foot wheel thing? I think I was doing the pedal of the. I was doing the old fashioned one because I grew up in a Mennonite community where there was no electricity. Right. Right. Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pick on you. You made a fool out of me. She had every right. She had every right. You made a fool out of me and it was way too easy. We had that once on the podcast when Sir Paul McCartney was doing the podcast and he said he did some joke at my expense and this was in front of an audience and the crowd really laughed and I said, "You just made a fool of me, Paul," and he said, "It's just so easy." Wow. Oh. I thought, "Wow. Zinged by a Beatle made me very, very happy." I have a question about your family. family, you talked about this uneasy relationship with fame. I imagine they're good at not being impressed in a way. Yeah. Which is what I get in spades. I get that. Which I really admire. And actually, that's kind of what we hoped for. But then occasionally, come on, be a bit impressed with your mommy. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Well, where's my Oscar? Oh, we threw it out. Threw it out. Have there been a thing or two where they have recognized you? Paddington was, my youngest was, how long ago was that? Three or four years. So she was quite small. And when I said, I'm going to work on Paddington, and she said, did you meet him? Oh, that's cute. Really? I know. And what did you say? Well, there was, this isn't for younger viewers, is it? I hope not. I've just thought back to what we've said. Yeah. Yeah. So there was a photo of all of the cast and crew, but they use Paddington's head on the stick. You know, so you have an eyeline. So we also have an actress, Lauren, who is the same height as Paddington. So she does all the words and you see your eyeline, but occasionally for when they do the silver ball. Yeah. Yes. To make sure that you're looking in the exact right way, because they've set up the cameras and the lighting and they need it just to be right. So his head is on a stick. And so this was in front of all of us. And I thought, oh God, I can't show her that. So I was cropping the photo. So it looked like he was just peering over there. I know. And then she saw me on the Simpsons and she thought that was very cool. Yeah. Recently. Every now and then you get to shine. Yeah. You do get that little side eye that sort of, oh, okay. I mean, so it's so interesting because the Paddington movies are score the highest on Rotten Tomatoes and in every category. And I think that's a good thing. I think there are film scholars have said you should study Paddington too, because it's perfect. It is. It is perfect. And you look at it and you think, yes, it is. Was it the first one when he did the toothbrush in his ears? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I started doing it. Yeah. I feel that way about Fleabag. Yes. I think Fleabag is one of those like perfect comedies. She's a genius. Yeah. But also you're a genius in that too. That was her telling me what to do. But your character is one of my favorites. I was at. I just became aware of you in the office. Oh, did you? Yeah. Yeah. And how great you were in that. That's all this is. It's going to devolve into. But you know what? We don't normally do this. No, we don't. It's kind of embarrassing. This is just embarrassing. But it's also, it's your fault. It's your fault. I'm going to come back every week. Yeah. This is like a spa treatment for you. That's great. You're going to come out and people are like, you're glowing. Um, no, I, uh, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, I, I saw her at an, an event and she was talking to, it was a, it was, uh, uh, a big event that I was at. And there was, uh, a little group of Brits all talking together. And you're going to have to help me because sometimes when I'm tired and I've been running around a lot, it's coming up with names. But it was Andrew Scott. Oh yeah. Andrew Scott was in the group who I had just interviewed and he was, he was sitting in your chair and he was lovely. Oh my God. He's divine. And then, um, Phoebe Waller-Bridge is, uh, her partner. Martin McDonough. Martin McDonough. So my wife and I are watching Phoebe Waller-Bridge's Martin McDonough, Andrew Scott, and they're all in this little group talking to each other. Recently. So he's here for a while. No, no, no. This was a couple of months ago at a big wedding. Uh, that wedding. Yes. And I was not invited. I came in through the kitchen. Um, you know, you can just grab, you can grab a tray and just start walking around and get into anything. But I saw, I mean, everyone in the world was at this. This wedding, this Taylor Swift wedding. And I look over with my wife and we see those three talking to each other in a tight little British nodule, like this little hard shell talking together. And I felt like it was high school again because the three coolest kids in the room were talking and I just wanted to be part of the conversation. And you know, the three coolest kids are not the coolest kids. They're going, we got a copy of we're here. They looked like they were pretty confident they should be there. And, um, my wife and I were just sitting there and we were just sitting there like, Oh my God, to be able to, to talk to those, that grouping of those three. And I've never met Phoebe Waller-Bridge. And I I've said to Indra Scott, like that would be, she's on my very, very short list next to you of people I would love to meet, but hasn't happened. And I was maybe 15 feet away and I couldn't do it. I was like, I was like, I can't go over there and risk her having saying off with you scum. Oh my God. You'd love her. Yeah. Don't do that. Oh, sorry. That's making it more difficult for me. Sorry. I hear she's. Smells like onions. I'm sorry. She's one of those people in any room. You just find yourself shuffling over. You just want to be near her. Yeah. And she's, she is like a light bulb goes on when she looks at you. She's just kind and funny and clever, self-deprecating, very beautiful. Okay. Well, anyway, between her and Elizabeth, what was her last name again? Debbie Ecke? Debicki. Debicki. How do we say it wrong? I think it's because I'm in love. Yeah. As you would read it, like a human being. I do. I see what you mean. It's quite easy, isn't it? Yes, it is. Being mean to you. It gets easier and it's harder to resist. Yeah. I'm already feeling that. Go for it. Dig into it. Go for it. Yeah. Lean into it. Anytime you're feeling down or you have a big scene coming up, you can call me. You can reverse the charges. Let's pretend that's still a thing. And I, you can just make fun of me. Oh, thank you. And then you'll just. And it will come very easily. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Thanks. This has been. It's a mark of affection, though, clearly. Sure. This has been, this is one of my favorite days. It really is. It's one of my favorite days. We've been doing this for a long time, but you are an absolute joy. And I was a little. I don't want to go. Are you wrapping it up? Yeah. I'm wrapping it up because we're tight. No, don't. Don't. Well, you can go. Yeah. I always assume you've got all these other things to get to. I don't want to go to them. It's distinct. Okay, well, we have nine more reasons why you're the best person. You'd like to hear them. I was a little intimidated to meet you. And then I walk into the kitchen and you're making yourself a cup of tea. That's because I'm a cunt. This is why you never get tea commercials. You love tea. I love tea. And it's, I know it's. It's such a, I'd be embarrassed to offer a Brit some tea because I would think I'm, oh, why don't you offer them, you know, you'd want to borrow my chimney sweep. You know, it just feels like an over the top. Oh my God. Yeah. You know, like, oh, I don't want to be corny. It's two on the nose is what you're saying. It's two on the nose. And yet you, there you are. You love tea. I love tea. I travel with my own tea bags. I was just going to ask you. Which I forgot to bring. Yeah, what do you drink? What's your tea? I like Yorkshire Gold. Oh. There's, you know, get them. They're lovely. There's just Yorkshire tea, but Yorkshire Gold, I just prefer. It's not the poshest tea. It's just really nice. How do you take your tea? Well, thanks for asking. So I put the, and these are tea bags and you'll get people going, that's not how you drink tea. Fuck off. This is how I have my tea. There we go. There we go. So tea bag and boiling water onto the tea bag because then it goes whoosh and you get lovely flavor. It doesn't scold the tea, as someone says. That's nonsense. I hate that person. Yeah. Maybe if they're. If they're having posher tea, it might, but tea bags are made for boiling water. Okay. Boiling water on. I like a good squidge. Oh, you can see the color. So I like dark tea. You like dark tea, but you put milk in it. I put a little bit of milk in. Is that how most British people like their tea is with some milk? Yes. I think so. Yes. Okay. It's quite chic and European to have tea with no milk. Quite French. Yeah. I'd love to be more chic and French about it, but I like cheap tea. No, but also the people I've talked to and. Including a beetle or two. That's the way they, they think of it almost as like part tea, part milk. So I have. I'm sorry. I know a lot. It's just to say a beetle or two. A beetle or two. I'm sorry. Not even one beetle. I'm in three. I'm in a. Did you meet three? Come on, who? I was at, well, Ringo. He's just always around wherever you go. Anytime I go to buy cleaning supplies from my pool, he's there. He's working there. No, Ringo's delight. And, and Paul, many, many times. I've been very fortunate that way. George, I was working at Saturday Night Live and it was about 1990. I was a writer there and he was out with the producer, Lorne Michaels, and they were out on a night on the town. And then he came back. We were all there at like one in the morning and suddenly George walked in and started talking to us. And I, my soul left my body and has never come back. Apparently. I can imagine. So, yeah. But enough about me. What's the list more famous people I've met? Paddington. I saw him. Actually did meet Paddington. I was at some event and the person who plays Paddington, I believe in the show. Yes. She was, she was all. Was she wearing the hat? Yes. I think she was wearing, she was dressed up as Paddington. I was introduced to Paddington, to Lorne and the person who does the voice. And I was starstruck. Wow. Yeah. I was, I was like, oh my God. And then I, you know, called my wife. The voice from the movie? Ben Whishel. Ben Whishel. - Yeah, cue, I don't- - Yeah, cue. he's gone full circle I don't remember it's all a blur because when you're talking to Paddington and two people are involved it gets confusing but it was again an insane moment for me to meet Paddington and then I think I creeped Paddington out Paddington said I need to make a phone call and left and then security came I want to let you go out and tell many more people about Wicker because I think it's extraordinary it's lovely it's funny it's sweet and you will have all the feelings watching Wicker and it's just beautifully done I know what I was going to say yes Weta Workshop who made it's a completely practical suit it's no CGI so I think that's important for people to know yes and I think you can kind of tell too it is beautifully made so beautiful it's a work of art there is CGI when he holds his hand up and you can see through the Wicker at one point but that's it it's absolutely as you see him whatever you needed to do is okay but to know you can you can tell it's all practical that this is beautiful artisanal work how does one get one of these Wicker suits is there any okay and how does yeah and how will it give me the riz of an Alexander Skarsgård and how does one not get arrested when wearing this Wicker suit you and I are going to get you and I are going to get these and we're going to walk around the mall and try to talk to people yeah yeah maybe there's just enough here that I could make one get them all together at least you could do the top half and then you know wear a suit I'll be like Wicker face like leather face basically Olivia I cannot thank you enough for stopping by you are welcome here anytime and if you just need people to tell you how extraordinary you are because you're not getting that from your family you can come here to our offices anytime and we will love you up you might regret saying that no I don't think so I think you'll regret it can I come by will Conan be there well maybe not maybe not this time but thank you so much and congratulations on Wicker it's just it's lovely thank you very much thanks for having me I've had a lovely time okay I'm in the dark here I do not know what's coming but I've just been informed by by Blay that he has something he wants to show us Blay what you got yeah well as you guys probably know I am on Reddit a lot so I'm I'm keeping an eye on the pulse of what fans you don't keep an eye on the pulse oh okay you keep your finger on the pulse okay well I'm okay well I'm either keeping an eye on Reddit or I'm keeping my finger on the pulse you'd be a terrible doctor eye on the prize if you looked at a patient and said the pulse looks okay on Reddit people he died four hours ago you can smell him at this point okay so whatever your metaphor I look at Reddit a lot and I see uh what people are saying in the Conan subreddit and people will tag me fans will tag me on things that they might want us to talk about on the podcast incredible and a fan named metaphysical melodies uh tagged me on this video and was like you guys have to talk about this on the podcast does Conan know about this do you guys know about this and so we're gonna show you a little video okay can I just say really quickly we were talking about segments via email and Adam and Blay were saying should we do that thing I slacked you about which left me out of the loop so I know this has something to do with me I'm sure so let's uh I'm nervous none of us know let's put our eyes I don't know what this is on the screen and here we go oh Christ oh my god Matthew what's going on here baby I can explain hey man I didn't I didn't know how could you do this to me hey the Conan O'Brien show's on oh I love Conan O'Brien really I hate Conan O'Brien I love Conan O'Brien dude that was some great sex yeah it was that's fantastic wait a minute I have so many questions oh god when did you make this I can't believe it's taken this long for this to get here Matt I've always known this was out there that's existed this whole time that's existed for let's I'm gonna clean up something because I know there are people that still just listen to the podcast we just saw a very it's a funny sketch about you surprising your wife and another guy in bed and getting upset and pulling a gun and then the guy suggests Conan let's watch Conan O'Brien now this is years before we met when was this made this must have been made in the 90s no this was 15 years ago maybe I think it's I think it's 18 years is it okay wow yeah I have no idea that's not that long ago wow what do you mean by that it's not that long ago I'm saying it's still pretty fresh I thought it was like 25 years ago okay well let's not get bogged down on the dates we did that like a few years before you started on our podcast no what are you talking about that was 10 good years wait a minute before so it's 2008 is what you're saying it's 2008 so that's towards the end of my late night run and there's a there's an artistic choice here which is the guys like Conan O'Brien the blonde woman doesn't like Conan O'Brien she hates you I should probably tell you what the origin of this thing is yeah it was I you might be able to fill in the blanks more than me I have a vague memory of this because my friend Fred Belford who himself was a very funny comic and writer was contributing this for a contest for a promo for your show or something I don't have any memory he put me in it that's all I really know about it so I was just an actor where did this was this just online was there an online then I forget I don't know that's the thing I really wish I could tell you was that on VHS no it was like an early internet like YouTube Vimeo thing do we know what it was made for well so I used to run the website Late Night Underground and so it was for the website that I ran I don't remember what the context was I think we had a call for yeah it was a make your own commercial contest oh cool so yeah it was in 2008 how did that do because that's very funny I don't think we picked it yeah I don't think so either I don't remember how it did but someone probably flagged women love Conan we can't run this no they're like this is just too factual yeah I'm surprised some of these things haven't come up sooner and you know we've outed me for things some of these things well there's some other things what else Matt I almost feel like I gotta get ahead of them okay but one of them you're like a you're like a candidate for president who you can't wait until the fans find out and it leaks online and then you're you know it's not gonna work this is not one of those but you know you've told the story about how you submitted for Letterman and you were happy that you didn't get in and I think even Colbert said he submitted for your show yes he did yeah I submitted a writer packet for your show through Todd Levin asked me and then I think you guys didn't end up taking on an extra writer but I still have the writer's packet I submitted to be a writer on your show like I don't know 15 years ago or something like that I remember them handing me a packet for Matt Gourley and they said give this a read and I just held the packet for a second and I said I am suddenly enraged and irritated and I dropped it like it was being handed a hot skittle you need to come clean I mean we found out about your Shakespeare t-shirt thing way too late I want to know if there's anything else there's gotta be other stuff can I say something hey man I swear that's it I swear man no it's cool it's cool there are there are gory victims buried all around the Pacific Northwest it's just whole potter's fields filled with his victims but I remember when this show started I think that I think I had a Vimeo like a real page where my commercials and stuff were on there that I had done and that was on there and I very quickly took that down oh and I don't know how someone found it and put this up if we search Matt Gourley on YouTube does that pop up I don't know I mean I think I've heard a lot about your incest guy on Community oh yeah the incest writer oh have you heard about that I don't think so it was like the incest episode of Community and then he came on at the end you were in an episode of Community yeah incredible yeah actually Amanda and I are in the same episode but unrelated playing different parts yeah were you but you were you together then yeah oh you were okay no we need to be on the hunt for more Matt Gourley there's hidden Matt Gourley gems because they're everywhere you know they are have we gone through your commercials no but you know interestingly enough we did we did once oh we did one of your car commercials what I'm saying is there's probably more out there you know you know that this guy he's been active he's been active for a long time here's one I will challenge people to find okay good good good good good we've been doing this for years there's an NBC show called Blindspot for a while about a woman who was tattooed and lost her memory and everything yeah I play a villain on that in a couple episodes but there is there is a clip someone sent me shout out to Umar of an Italian dubbed version of me being a villain speaking why do they dub you when you can do it how manly is your Italian voice it doesn't matter if it's gibberish well that's the thing the voice coming out of me is so much more like villainous and manly yeah Ricardo Chiquita Gina Lollobigida I'm not going to If that's still out there, and you could find that, that would be worth it. But let's, there's nothing else. That's it. That's the very last thing. I've got to find the videos I made when it was a how to sell musical instruments for some musical instruments. Oh yeah, you've talked about that. Yeah, exactly. I've talked about it. Do you have them or does someone? I believe I might have them, but that's, I mean, I have a Charles Foster Kane warehouse filled with, you know, masturbating bears. Oh yeah. And old, I mean, this is on a brick. This is on a giant, like one and a half inch, you know, some format that we wouldn't be able to find a machine to play it anymore. But yeah, that stuff is fascinating. Oh God, I'm just realizing we haven't even touched, I've been on so many game shows. What? I can't even count. Okay, you heard it here. We are on the hunt for anything where Matt Gourley shows up, makes an appearance, plays a character, or is even in the background, you know, pacing while a local news reporter is talking about a motorcycle accident. On 5th and Cohinga. Did you win a lot? I mostly did, yeah. Yeah. Oh, you would. You go to his house, it's just all the furniture is made of turtle wax cans. I remember when the prize used to be turtle wax. That's a 60s or 70s thing. I know, and every wardrobe was furnished by Botany 500. Botany 500. Yeah, Botany 500. Okay, all right. Well, it's time to wrap. There's nothing else we've covered at all. Yeah. All right, that's your task, everybody. Get to it. Bring us the Gourley goods. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam Ovsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and Nick Liao. Theme song by The White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too, could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.