Old White and Dumb

(triumphant music) - Wave. (triumphant music) (door slams) (door slams) - Hey. (door slams) - Good morning. - Good morning, man. - How you doing? - It's awesome. (door slams) - It's an early flight. - It's so good to see you. - Okay. - I'm dressed. - Okay, okay, okay, okay. - Yeah, okay. (laughing) - Hey, buddy. - Well, do you want to drink that? - Are you sick again? - No. (laughing) - You're huffing and puffing like you're sick. - You sound like you had a good night rest. (laughing) - And I got hammered like this. - And you know what? I haven't had anything to drink in store. These for us, who is this? - No, we do have this. - And you have no imagery? - Okay, hey, how's it going? - So you see here, like similar to that set up on bat. - On bat? - Where are you guys? - We're here. And then here's your guest. - You still got that bad action, huh? - I thought that'd be good. - I mean, practice is so much. - Here's something to make him. - You didn't screenshot my penis, did you? - No. - But he did. - Did he? - No. - He was on my phone. - Oh nice. (laughing) - Yeah, I was showing you guys my birthday. - Was it Carlos and the girl he was with called picked up with that one? - I know, who was that shit? - Carlos just worked with her at the dog place, Yorktown. - Oh, yeah. - She just was sleeping in your bed. - She's my friend. - I think, like, yeah, yeah. - She was in bed with you without clothes on and you guys didn't do anything? - Yeah. - Yeah. - This is what happens, you don't want me drinking. - Yeah, but dude, I've never rid of a girl getting in bed without clothes on. - That's because you're straight as hell. It's like you're straight, jerk, and me. It's gotta be it. It's a tiny difference. - So are you gay? - No, you guys had sex with a girl before. - But this doesn't count. (laughing) - First of all, I'm being asked if I'm gay 'cause I slept in a bed with a girl last night. - Without clothes on and they didn't do anything. - No. - Have you ever slept in a bed with a girl that's a friend and didn't do anything? - You okay? - You're gay? (laughing) - I don't know. - Hey, Bob. - Where is he? - He dropped me off at a canary, probably. (laughing) - You are the right place, don't you? - Hey, Bob. Silly little red man. What a silly man you are walking around like that. How dare you? - He dropped me off at a canary company. - He's a Dennis Dean carry company. I don't agree with you. (laughing) - This is a canary. This is the Jewish thing. What did you see as you came over here? - We were all walking the temple. - The army lit. - They're right down the street. I was afraid we'd go grab one. - You wanna go grab one? - Let's go grab one, dude. - I wanna look, I've never seen an asshole of a Jew. (laughing) - We gotta get started. - What the fuck was that? (beeping) - Oh boy. (laughing) - Amen. (laughing) - He got you as well. (laughing) - You two are bad friends. - You are these two idiots. (singing in foreign language) You two are disgusting. (singing in foreign language) - We're bad friends. - Hey, welcome to bad friends. - A wave series. - Talk us up about Mona. - The Mona. - Yeah, I wanna know about this. - The Museum of Old and New Art. That's what it's called. The Mona. Look up the Mona, M-O-N-A, the Mona. - Did I say it right? - Mo-ma. - Is it Mo-ma or Mo-na? - No, no, Mo-ma. - Mo-na. - Mo-na. - Is it Mo-na or Mo-ma? - Yeah, that's it. - It's a Mo-na, yeah. - So this is, this is, um. That's one of the walls. See if you can bring it. Oh, there's none of this. There's the wall of a giant, this is right there. That's it. - That one. - Yeah, this one, the red one. No. That red. - Yeah, that's the wall of a genus. - Wow. - Whoa. - Yeah. - Yeah, look at them all. - I would never leave that place. (laughing) - It's so beautiful. - Imagine if you submitted your vagina and you didn't get in. - Like, mind your vagina. - You show up with your like gate or your family. I go, yeah, my vagina's here. And you look at the wall and you go, oh my, I didn't make it. They go, we didn't have a room, but yours is so big. - How's it going down there? How's it going in the off space down there, M-A? - Yeah, it's great. The wall of submit to have a vagina too. (laughing) And if they walk you through. - Wow. - Now where is your pussy? It's there, it was up there. - They replace it. - Yeah. - That's, I mean, some of these are wild. - Dude, let's do a male comic one with penises and see if people can guess who's as who's. - 100% if they can. - No, I don't think they can. - Yeah, they can. - Not mine. There's no way you're gonna be seeing the difference between me, Ronnie Changs or Ken Junk's penis. (laughing) - Would you be able to guess? - I would. - I know you have, but in that style, there's no way you would look at Ronnie Changs penis and Bobby Lee's penis and go, is gonna pick out your penis out of a lineup. It's gonna be me. - I know you will. - Yeah, but that's not fair. You know moles. - I know moles. - He knows moles and birthmarks, right? So that's not even fair. - That's so true. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. They could find like one ass cheek in the middle of the ocean just a drift. And Andrew could pick it up and go, that's Bobby. - That's Bobby's ass. - Yeah, yeah. - And why would it be out there? Now this is sort of a movie. Now it's a hunt. What happened to Bobby? - Yeah. - And why is his ass. - Well, my dream is to find like my death is mysterious and they find bits of my body all over the world. - Oh, right. - So they find my asshole in Mexico for some reason. You know what I mean? - Lens off. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they find like my torso, you know what I mean? In Bulgaria. - But my point is is this is that they find my body parts all over the world. - That's kind of a good way to go. - It's a good movie you promise. - It is. - Yeah, yeah. - But you know what it is? Here's the movie promises. You die and you say to your kids or whatever. You guys have to place these parts of my body all around the world. And their journey is trying to get it there. 'Cause it's clearly illegal. - Yeah. - Your check bag can't have a fucking leg in it. - Yeah. - But you're carry on. You might be able to carry it on. - And maybe there's like a side story where my youngest son, right, lost my left eyeball. - Oh, and he's gotta go back and find it. - I don't know where it is. It wasn't my pocket. - He left it at like a fucking Texas Roadhouse somewhere on while he was traveling and he's gotta go back to get your eyeball. - And some kid like squished it on like a gum underneath the table. (laughing) It's just dangling from a fucking underneath that table. - What was the place that we went to? Not Texas Roadhouse. - Cracker Barrel. - Cracker Barrel. - That you had the most fucking time. - I have that little gift shop. - I've never seen you so happy. - Well, you know, that last Cracker Barrel, I'm excited. No, you've been talking about it right now. - It sounds like, yeah. The last Cracker Barrel that we went to, you taught me about a lot of things. - What did I teach you? - Yeah, I want you to guess. - A manor? - No, it's not tea, it's, it's, here's what you do. And I'm going to say you're the Santino style of being its name, right? Everywhere we go, you find something new and you discover something new. And so he'll give you like a fun fact about an architecture of something. - Well, you know, Bill Bezzlingzy, you know, I mean, he built that in 1904 because of the declaration of-- - Billingsley did build that. - I know you did. You'll say stuff like that, right? - I like to, I have, I like little facts. - I know. - I like little tiny facts. What did I teach you then that day, do you remember? - So it's, I'm in the gift shop, right? And there's an item there that I didn't know what it was. And then you're like, that's the best of whatever that is. And I got it, and then I got addicted to it. So what is it? - It's a candy. - Oh, it's a, it's a Wiley Walebees. - Yes! - Yes! - Wow. - They're so good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I never knew about the Wiley Walebees until I was with you at the carcabal. - So fucking good. - Now I can't get enough of them. - Do you guys know about those? You guys know about, you know Wiley's. You know, my wife sent me a big bag. She sent me a care package. She was like, I know you're away from home. And she was like, she sent me Wiley Walebees. - Yes. Sudoku. - Yep. - 'Cause she knows I'm bored. - Yep. - A couple of naked pictures. - I want to see. - I got 'em. You want 'em? They're in my car. - There's no way I want to see it. - They're taped to my dashboard. - There's like a truck family. - Like a cabby. Like a cabby from the '80s. I taped the photo of my wife to my dashboard in my car. I thought about that the other day. Somebody had a lot of bumper stickers on their car. By the way, the town that I'm in is like, all right, look. You have people have assumptions about the south. 'Cause we're Yankees. - But you're my Yankees? - Brother, you're Yankees Dudu Dandee. (laughing) - Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. That hit me the wrong way, man. (laughing) - Out of all the Asian accents you've ever done, that hit me in the worst spot. (laughing) I hated that. (laughing) - Yeah, dude, dude, dude. - With the little rice hat. - Yeah. ♪ I'm a Yankees Dudu Dandee ♪ - Anyway, that's crazy, dude. That hit me in the wrong spot. - We have to do a Yankees Dudu Dandee. - No, we're not. I don't like it. ♪ Yankees Dudu Dandee ♪ - Oh my God, dude. - Put the chopstick in this house and call it. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Don't laugh, man. - Stop, dude. - Stop funny. - All right, look, no. - I'm a Yankees. - No, I'm saying, you have assumptions about the south. You guys know, you guys know how we feel about the south. - Right? We're north. - You know, but it's funny, when you as a town I'm in, I'm saying, the first, there's a bar and a restaurant. The guy owns both. I walk in there to go like, get something to eat, grab a beer, watch football. And there's a trans flag outside. And I'm like, oh, this is, and then all the windows, there's like gay pride flags or trans flags or like inclusivity, propaganda, whatever you wanna call it. - I know, I know, I know, it's not, you know what I mean? - No, I don't explain it. - Explain it to me. - What? No, I'm not saying it negative. I didn't mean propaganda. I meant signage, whatever you want. - It is propaganda a little bit. - It's propaganda, it's how, expressing what there are political beliefs are. - Well, how is it not probably, it is, propaganda is never a negative connotation. It's being, there's a lie in the propaganda. There's not a live propaganda is propaganda involved with some sort of nefarious I think that's because I think that's because that's propaganda, which I mean there's some sort of like That's exactly what that is that that you're taking it negative, but that is a political stand It is making a political stance. Yes. Okay. Anyway, no, no, there it was a beer good The beer was trans Used to be beer. No, if you used to know what I'm saying. It's wine Propaganda is communication meant to influence audiences thoughts feelings or actions by presenting selective factor emotional appeals It's not always negative. Fuck everyone in this room. I always negative, but generally negative. No, it doesn't it just said it's I think it's I wouldn't even say not always not again has negative emotional manipulation at targets. That's why so it's go back up Please Why is it had negative meaning it often targets feelings like fear or rage rather using fair-fac Based debate yeah One side of you, but it's saying It's what there's what this person is saying is this is what I truly believe You know, I mean this point of view of the expression. So how is that propaganda cool? But it's not negative to prop to propaganda as your political opinions, okay? Maybe right you're usually a government in this concert. That's not that is not what it said there either I think that's what we society you wrote you you used the wrong terminology You're gonna back it for the last five minutes, man. It is propaganda It's not propaganda dude. It's gay propaganda Anything happened there. No, but there was bumper stickers on this guy. I'm trying to get back to the original All right, sorry. You want to was Hollywood. I but it feels like I'm what I'm saying is I'm glad that Progressive culture is in places where you don't expect it. It's a it's a it's a fun surprise That fucking robberty Lee and the KKK are literally literally around the gates from my condo That's where it was. Yeah, and on the block that I'm staying on Has a bar with a trans flag. I'm like, that's fucking what a world that we live in now It's fucking cool because the guy with bumper stickers out front. He had America first type shit, you know, like it was like fucking a gun and a whatever and you know like Whatever, you know what was on the truck, but it was I don't tell me It was like it was like fucking don't tread on me and okay, and and the thin blue line type of shit in the fucking now That's not propaganda. Oh it is And it is but I'm saying he was parked out front of this bar and I thought look at the juxtaposition of like I wonder if He just doesn't give a fuck or if he's just holds his tongue About all that shit like he goes into this bar is he like sitting there being like fucking trans flag mother fucker Like I wonder because he could be like oh Frank's here. I can't wait to see him. Yeah, maybe they're exactly maybe they're friends No, that's that's a movie too. So maybe that is the movie. Yeah, and I meant corporate all these movies beautiful people there Man is this one this one guy turned to me. He was chatting up this woman's older black dude She had a woman who's younger than him, but you know, not like insane. He's probably 80 I think something like that late 70s And she's got to be maybe 45 50 and she walks outside to go smoke and he goes hey, man I'm trying how you doing young man. I said I'm good. How are you? He's I'm trying to get it in and and I was like I was like hell yeah, I do and I go is that that's your girlfriend He's like about to be my wife died in June and I was like I'm so sorry and he was like yeah Yeah, I should love my life, but I got to do my thing too, you know what I mean? And I never ever strayed when we were together never But now I'm trying to put myself back out there and I said well I hope it goes well. He goes I know. I don't know if I can go through with it and I was like really yeah I said well, you're single again your wife probably want you to be happy and find Whatever it you need in life, you know, he goes I know but I just if I'm afraid if I get there I'm gonna I'm not gonna do it because I'll be thinking about my wife. He said well, then take your time You know and he goes or have a couple more drinks Incredible that he went from like an emotional it was such a it was such a great narrative emotional pull He was like my wife died. I don't know if I can fuck this woman I'm thinking about my wife and I'm like I know and then he's like oh get a dude. I'm gonna get hammered in fuck this girl Yeah, it was amazing the the people that were in there It is and you could relate to him probably when he laughs right you can go Yeah, you know reminds me when I was a Taylor Switz wedding You could kind of Bridge the gap between your life the top, you know me and regular so I'm not a human. I'm not a lot of be a human I don't know dude. What does that fucking even mean? So I want to try to get you going right now, so you're not human I am human, so I'm not I'm more human than you in what in what regard? I live the earth. You live in fucking Hollywood Hills. You fucking it's a part of earth. I live on the earth too I live on the earth. You know, I'm like, you know me. I'm from the earth I'm a man of the people like from the Fuck you are. I'm a man of the people. You're staying at the four seasons. People live. Oh, they're too There are people there. There be man of the people just stay in a $2,000 a night hotel isn't man of the people you fucking liar You don't set me up. I asked for a motel six I asked for a book. You guys set me up there and this is how you fucking get me dude. You're a fuck. I'm not an elitist I like to stay in regular places. I'm a man of the earth. You know who's an elitist the guy that yells I'm not an elitist Off the off of an edge of a boat anyway Any who let me tell you something all I'm saying is I'm proud of I'm happy to be here seeing the world from a different lens Oh, that's and I get to cosplay because no one fucking knows me in this town. It's incredible. Yeah, I'm a nobody It's amazing. You know it's so funny out in certain areas. I think I feel the same way. It's amazing. Yeah, I love some area I love it too, but some areas are like Oh, I'm special, but some areas. I'm not I love that. I like it too I think it's I think it's just because I'm just a person in town and I've started I've stopped lying to I was lying a lot Like people would be like what do you do? How do you how long you been here? I'm like, well, I'm thinking about moving here And I'm working this construction gig in town and I'm just lying because it's fun That's fun. Well, I don't I don't want to say actor and who gives a fucking shit. Yeah, I'm shooting a movie and they're like oh, okay Yeah, what do you think of this? There they were at dinner with cross. I don't know and we're at dinner And some man can I kept him because you famous right and I go now And I cross the street and from across the street Do you know what this guy said don't lie to me mother fucker? Oh, you did Do you lie to me again for the fucker? I'm gonna fucking get you. That's what he said to me. He's an agent guy. No Normal agent normal agent guy. Wait, did you go apologize? No, that guy could have killed me. I know But I felt so bad about it, but I'm like I don't like it when within We've already talked about the thing. I know I know yeah, don't don't don't yeah, don't ask me to or how about it Can I get a picture with you? I don't know who you are, but they're all getting pictures. Yeah, you're like, what do you yeah? I don't like why are you doing? I know dude I took a photo with a girl yesterday at the Tennessee game. This is how I know this is Tennessee Who are you with she had who are you with jealous? Okay, and my dad and my sister and her husband. It was fucking amazing She had she's like can she get a photo with you. She loves you I said of course I go to hug this girl and she's got a she has a tobacco dip in it looks like a fucking tennis ball is in her mouth Wow, I got a girl and she hugs me. She was gorgeous and she had a fucking horse and like a boy I wanted to be like can I have that photo like I want to post that photo Of me with Tennessee it was it was crazy. I went to go buy a kettlebell because I want to work out in my little condo I'm staying in here and I can't like I can't there is no gyms anywhere near us So I go to a dick sporting goods to go get kettlebells and free weights and like ropes and stuff like that and there's an old man in the weight section like an old like a old guy in the weight section and he's like what what you're looking for I was like a kettlebell. He's like, oh they got him right there and then I go down to start looking at him He's like you won't you won't me help you and I wanted to be like What the fuck could you? I don't think you can lift your neck up To look up let alone a kettlebell the 45 pound kettlebell He was like I remember me how she I was like no, no, I got I carry like I can do it I was like there's so much pride in this guy that he was willing to probably die Helping me to get weights hold with it You never know these days do you you don't now? He's probably in the seventh late 70s Me just was too old to be working at the weight section at Dix. Yeah, it was not like what are you doing? Dude if I'm still working by 80 a job, I don't want to be working a job at 80. That's when you're supposed to you're free I can I I'm sorry. I have to say something to you You're the one comic that will be continued to work no chance. Absolutely You are you're a shark. There's no way you're gonna stop what the fuck does that even mean? I'm a shark cuz of what if the shark doesn't move whoo? Hell yeah, and that's exact sound they make When a short dies a green leg shark especially 500 years. That's the sound they make what is Bobby a seal? Just barking at the shore all day Sitting on a dock I Get it. I don't know. I know I think by 80 I'm gonna be there's you know you're like that dude You're constantly working. I'm the I'm the one that's gonna end at 80. I'm ending now. I've done already good for you Yeah, like you know you're not like that. You're always somewhere. Where are you? I'm in Tibet - I go where I do I'm running a small business in Tibet too So do you fault me for that yeah, no, but make your money, but I'm just saying it's you're constantly going that's insane I love I like creating stuff, but I just think by 80. I'm not gonna want to do shit. I'm gonna be tired I'm tired now. No, you're gonna be like Dick Van Dyke did all Teeth all action bad British Beans on toast beans on toast. What's the song he did in Miss Mary Poppins. Oh, yeah, it was him. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. That's it. Yeah, it's Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim. Oh, that's it. Look right over there. There goes a Jew. We know that old town. Yeah, you know, I mean that's that old town old sound. Anyway, um, we have a guest. Let's bring on our guest. Give a round of applause. My Kisha. Come over. Come over. Come over. Come over. Come over. Come over. Come over. That chair. Out with a brown chair over there. Yeah. That singular brown chair over there. Come on. My Kisha. He keeps saying your name wrong over and over and he's trying to say, "Am I singing wrong?" Everybody chime. Most of us picked a bank and we were a kid when I was in high school and mine was at the grocery store. My bank was inside the Jolansko and that had no benefits. No help. 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I could have genuinely used chime would have helped me tremendously because I went to crazy debt and didn't know how to manage my money at all. And I didn't get any cash back on anything I was doing. And I overdrafted maybe every week trying to stay together while chime is helping you get through whatever you're into right now financially. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. You can head to chime.com/badfriends, the chime.com/badfriends, sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. And you know what's crazy? I actually don't go by my real name. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know. What do you go by? I apologize. You can, I mean, it's fine. Okay. It's not fine. She said outside. She goes, "If he calls me, she goes if that little Chinese guy calls me by my real name. I'm going to be livid." Is that what you said? And I said, "Well, he's Korean first of all." Did you say that? No. Okay. What is the name that you go by? I go by Keishelino. Keishelino. It's no way. Keishelino. Keishelino. Keishelino, I apologize. Keishelino. It's two E's, three O's. Can we take an O out? No, because okay, well technically you can take two out because Lino stands for life is never over. Yeah. Yeah. But I just like to be extra. Yeah. Why is it? Okay. Wait, Keishelino. Life is never over. Yes. My friend actually came up with it in college. Wow. Where'd you go to college? Limestone College in Salisbury, North Carolina. Salisbury. Is that where that came from? Salisbury steaks. Do you know what Salisbury steaks? Yes, I do. Did that come from? I do. I bet you that did come from there. Maybe. No, it's got to be from some bullshit. That's where it came from. All right, so so life is never over. Yes. And then I just added my own name, Keish, because my name is Mike Keishel, but everybody's just called me Keishelino. Keishelino. You like Keishelino. Yeah. It's Keishelino. Delicious. Oh, you tell them about the food. Yes. They are very good. You're like Keishelino. I've never had it. Oh, yeah. You've never had a Keishelino. No, I have a Keishelino. You would love Keishelino. Your Keishels are so good. What did it taste like? It's eggs. It's like it's like a soft there's some like it's like a pie. Yeah, it's a pie. It's a pie. Egg pie. Egg pie. That's nasty. It's nasty. Okay. What's your favorite food? Seafood. Oh, let's go down the list. Wait, I love that. Crab legs. Crab legs. Crab legs. Lobster tail. Okay. Crab legs. Lobster tail. Are you sure? You fuck with shrimp? Yeah. That was like the basic seafood that I used to, you know, that was the introductory. Yeah. But it's got to be crab legs. Lobster tail. And then, of course, muscles. I just started eating oysters. Be careful. You gotta be careful. What's wrong with you? That went to a coma. Diary. For real? Diary. A coma. Diary. He was in a coma. You're in a coma. We're still having diary. It's the worst. It's unbelievable. Have you had diary a coma? No. You're in a coma, but you're still having diary. It's insane. The body does two things at once. It's kind of beautiful. Yeah. It's kind of the less than you had diary. All right. You can ask that. You can. She might not want to answer it. What? How would I ask you? When I was in the hospital, actually, because I had to have stomach surgery, which was over this summer. For what? What? What? What was the? I had, um, they said, what's a scar tissue? Just wait, they were just removing scar tissue. Yeah, it had built up, and then I couldn't go to the bathroom. And yeah. So you had to get surgery this summer. Cut your open. And then the get where you scared. It did come out, but yes, I was scared. Yeah, I had to come out. That was the whole point of it. They were clogged up. Yeah. Wait, you, they put you under? Yes. You're great now, though. Perfect segue. It's actually pretty good, right? You're seen fine. I'm great. Pretty good segue, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good. Um, and surgery went fine. And then, um, so you've never had real diarrhea, though. Okay, let's move on. Um, anyway, I don't why I went back to that. Um, so, um, are you dating? I'm actually not. I'm single. Can I ask you about what you like? So can I ask? I'm going to say, I like tall people, dark skin. Okay, I'm tall. I have dark. Not you. I know. Oh, I'm just saying my type. You're not into my type. Would you mean your type, like type, like what you look like? Like a, like a kind of chunk your Asian guy. No. Why? I just told you tall, dark skin. I'm taller than you are. So I am tall. Am I not tall? You're not dark skin. I'm pretty dark. Not dark enough. Oh, dark. Like Samuel Jackson. Chocolate. Chocolate. I gotta be black. What about white chocolate? I'm not going to say no. You don't have to be black because my first boyfriend was white. Woo. That was in seventh grade. Just what kicking out the Asian satellite. I will say, yeah, she's probably trying to say it's black or white. Not everything is black and white, but in this case, not like my Jackson said, but, you know, it's no Asian. I'm not saying I don't have nothing against Asian. Are you scared because their penises are small? No, I wait, how do you know? What stops up? Yeah, how do you know that? How do you know that? It's the entire world knows that. I feel like that's like the, but we don't. We don't. One thing that it's math and small penises. That's them. It's like India, pooping doctors. I learned something new. I'm having fun today. So sue me. Okay. Okay. Sorry. No. So white guys, what about me? Could I be on the list? I'm not God. You see the way she did. I know that. I'm in pain from what you did earlier. Wait, are we not handsome to you, him and I? No, you guys are very handsome. Okay, I'm gonna say young because I don't want to say old. No, we're old. I mean, he's 55. He's fucking old as shit. That's not old. Yeah, it is. Thank you. I love you. You're the best. How old are you? What would you? 23. I'm going to be 34 October 18th. You look great. Two days after me. Really? Two days after me. What was this? What does this mean? Clocky. Oh, little crap. I thought it was little crap. Little crap. Little crap. Little crap. No, it's clocky. Clocky. Clocky? I know social media. Y'all don't know what this is. No, we're fucking old. We're old. We're old. We don't. We're not. You know what? I'm not all the trends. We're not good at trends. I'm gonna let y'all have it because honestly, I don't be doing a lot of stuff in social media and I'm on social media. You're big on social media. Yeah. Little in real life, big on social media. That could be a book. That's not a good - Did you end up by that? - No, I was locking that in. - Oh, she locked it in? - Oh, she was locking it in, my child. - I do love this shit. Now I'm gonna fucking do this all the time. I'm gonna go order the restaurant. Do you get my order right? Yeah, we got it, we're putting it in. - Clack it. - Clack it in, lock it in, lock it in the fucking. - Would you date another little person? - No, absolutely not. - Did they, what, what, you said that to me? - Jesus. - No, absolutely, everybody asked me that. - It's like me saying, I would never did it in another Korean. - You don't date Koreans. - I have before though. - Very rarely. - Yeah. - Well, because first of all, little people, nothing against them, because I'm a little person, but I just don't look like them. But, you know, I love them. - You don't like little people. - No, I do, I used to be scared of little people. - Can I be honest with you? - Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you what-- - I'm still scared. - I'm still scared. (laughing) - Listen, the thing was, my dad took me to a basketball game. I was young, but in the little people, -We're losing. -Yeah. -Oh, it's a little person basketball game. - Is that what you're saying? - Yes. - It was a basketball game with little people. - Yes. - Wow. - And I was cheering them on. - What was it like at Disney World? - No, it was like a rec center they had some type of-- - The end of the game, score was 3-0. (laughing) - They were losing. - Did they lower the hoop? - No, they said they were losing their whole game. - They actually did, no they did. - Yeah, they lowered it. - Everything was lower. - 'Cause tennis was far away from-- - But they were older little people like, I'm talking about like my age and up. They were losing. - And so-- - Some more buildable baggings. - I'm a happy person. (laughing) - I think I just was like so excited just to you know, cheer them on. They was upset and they start throwing chairs. And ever since then, they scared us. Shout out to me and I-- - Stools are chairs. - Chairs. - They were throwing full chairs. (laughing) Why were they throwing chairs? - They lost. - Yeah, but I mean, why throw a shit? - That was just off that bad. - No. - And one was next to me and I was saying, you know, it's okay, good job. You did good. They weren't here, nothing I was saying. This is it for that. - The kid? - Yes. - So you were a kid coming-- - Excuse me, did you get the job? - Yeah. - Yeah. - And so you were scared of little people from that? - Yes, ever since that situation, that encounter, I was like-- - We knew that, that there were no black people in the lower of the rings. - No, because first-- - Like in the shower, I mean that you-- - Well for one, I can't even say it, but I think-- - Yeah, there's a different one, I think. - When I grew up, I grew up-- (laughing) - I grew up with white people. - Oh, so you really-- - I went to a majority-- - In Charlotte. - No, actually in South Carolina. Okay, originally I am from South Carolina. Clemson to be exact. - Okay good. - I'm from a Clemson Tigers, but I went to a private school, Christian school, and I was around majority white people. - Now how was that, did you like that? - I did, I-- - You liked being around all those whites, huh? - I thought I was white. - You thought you were white? - Listen, I thought I was supposed to wash my hair that many times. I thought I-- (laughing) - You did all the white people shit. - I swear, yeah. Like, I wanted to wear my berk and socks every day. I wanted to walk around barefoot. I cannot walk around barefoot. I don't care where nobody's saying. - You really didn't like pockets, boss. - That part was not for me. - Yeah. - But your blackness was still there because the crab legs? - For sure. - That's not gonna leave. That's-- - So yeah, I really, you know, I was so used to the-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I never saw anything like that. - What do you want? - I never associated crab legs. - Black people love crab legs. - Yeah, sort of Koreans though. - Not like they do. - Dude, I slurp it up, dude. - It's different. - I slurp it 'cause I slurp it. - You tell me when you take it out or you talk about it out there. - I don't even crack it. This is what I do. And this is how deep I'm in the crab legs. - Oh, no, you gotta wait to take the little tail piece out. - I don't even do that right now. I just-- - He slurps all the-- - He slurps all the thing through the hole. - Which hole? - Well, there's two ends of a crab leg crack. - Right, but the part with the little one where there's two legs of a crab leg. - There's an old Korean proverb. It's an old Korean proverb, right? So I'll take one of the holes where the little nobule is. - With the thing that comes out of the hole-- - Yeah, yeah, the nobule, I call him nobule. - Yeah, you gotta take that little part out there. - Right, and I just shook on it. I don't crack it. I get all the juice out of it. - How are you getting the juice out of it? - I'm a sucker, dude. I suck so hard. - Black people like crab legs the way that whites like Kenwa. Just say it's like, they don't-- - You can't even explain it. They love it. I don't know why, huh? - What is that? - She's like, Kenwa, anything with Q in it. - Kenwa, Kenwa is like, it's like white health nuts. It's a grain, right? Isn't it a grain? - Oh, I don't like grain stuff. - Right, yeah. But so you went to school with all whites until how long? - I did. - 7th grade. - Oh, and then you got out and you were like, I'm sick of this. - Well, technically no, 8th grade. I went to a public school with 7th and 8th grade. But I went to our black school up in Charlotte. - Well, you said that, huh? A black school? - Yeah, because it was, yeah, it was on the West Side. Ooh, it was tough. - It was culture shock for me. - So you did you not like it? So you're like, I'm scared of black people and little people, and you're both of those things. - No, I wasn't scared of black people. I just never been around so many black people like that. - Yeah, and what, what you didn't like it? - No, I did. I just didn't realize. - It was a shock. - Yeah, like, dang, this one I'm missing. - Right, there, that's it. It's good. Yeah, you were, yeah. - My mom wasn't with it. She was like, oh no, girl, we gotta hurry and get to it. Meanwhile, I'm living life. - You loved it. You finally got flavor for the first time, right? Seasoning. - I still had flavor. - At the white school? No, it didn't. - My people cook. - At the white people school? - Okay, well, we had-- - The white school is French fries macaroni and cheese and pizza. - You're right. - And pizza. - And at the black school, it's gumbo. - No, we had it, we had pizza too. - You had pizza too. (laughing) - Are you crazy, dude? - Black people eat pizza? - They eat pizza, dude. - This is where you black people eat pizza. - You said this is where pizza and you cut it. - I've never known one black friend to eat pizza. - Ever. - Koreans eat pizza. - We put corn on it. - What? - First of all, my favorite pizza is popcorn. - I'm kidding, I'm kidding. - I'm about to say, cupop of John's. - Yeah. - What's your favorite vegetable if you were to have one? Is a pea? - Hell no, I hate peas. - A peas? - Yeah, you know, you're trying. - Yeah, I'm trying. - Brussels sprouts, I just actually-- - I hate 'em. - I hate 'em. - They smell. - They smell. - And when they come out, everyone knows that you're eating Brussels sprouts. - Yeah, 'cause smell like poop. - They smell like poop. - Yeah. - They do. Why did you start acting when you were in high school? - No, I actually just started like three, four years ago. - Shut up, really? - You're very cute. - I've only been like Instagram famous. That's about it. - When you were doing this movie-- - Okay, actually, I've been famous on my life. - For real. - Hey. - For real. - Klock it. - Klock it. - I thought it was Klock it. - No, it's Klock. - Klock it. - Klock it. - I really got a fucking loan. - I'm clocking somebody's tea, like I'm get, yeah. I just clocked you. - What about, but I drink coffee. I don't like tea when they say, what's the tea? What about what's the coffee? Is it too much? - That's not lame, that's stupid. - Why, what? (laughing) - Well, I'm an old white and I like coffee. I'm not a young hippie. - Okay, so not you, it's gonna be oh, white and dumb. - Yeah. - 'Cause why would you go around saying, what? - No, give me the, give me the, what's the coffee? - No. - I'm gonna start saying that. - Just don't say nothing at all. - Don't, all right. (laughing) - So what do you do? - I really been famous on my life. So listen, just how I go. The timeline is right here, right? - I wouldn't know. - I grew up. - That was what I was saying. - Yeah, who did this to you? - You wanna have a problem right now? - No. - But I'm trying to wait, you keep coming up. - Yeah, you do cut her off. - I know you're the host, but I'm gonna guess. So I'ma come and talk. - All right, good, good, good, good. - I'm sorry, I apologize, I'm not good. - She's right, see that? - All right, so boom, just how I go, right? I grew up doing pageants, right? And I don't know if you guys are familiar with Jombine Ramsey? - Uh. (laughing) - I'm so gone, she's gone, but I'm a big fan. - I like her earlier stuff. - Yeah. - Her first album was good, Little Me. - Yeah. - I was a young girl. - The first album Little Me was so good. - Well, her new album, where am I? - Jombine Ramsey. - Where am I? - It's a difficult album. - Wait, wait, wait. - Yeah. - Jombine Ramsey was a little girl. - Yeah, we know who she is. She was missing. - Yeah, she was, yeah, she had music. In fact, some people say we made it up. - Some people say bad baby. Stole some of Jombine Ramsey's shit. - Okay, well anyway, Jombine Ramsey, I competed, I was supposed to compete against her before she died. - I did pageants. - So you competed against her? - No, I was supposed to in January to die December. - You took her out? - No, it wasn't. - You took her out. - It was a competition to win. - My mom told me, 'cause of course I'm young. I don't know anything. Anyways, I was known for that. I also was known for dance. I mean, since I was three, I was known in South Carolina for dance. And then moving past that, I was known back when I got to high school, when I moved to Charlotte. And then when I got to college, I became known throughout what we call CIAA. This is like college basketball, and they come and do like the Super Saturday. So I can kind of be like famous on my life, but I blew up for Ruffaroo, social media. - Social media. - Yeah, wow. - And then how did you get in this movie rolling? - Oh, and then I started acting probably like two years and then Jeremy shot to, you know, director. He saw me from rolling loud with Shinsia, which was a year prior to a movie. - Okay. And then he was like, Garellik, right? And he was like. - He was like, oh my God, I gotta have you. - I gotta put you in this movie. - Mm-hmm. - Did Owen go mouth to mouth with you when that CPR scene? - We actually talked about it, and I was like, I'm not gonna lie. We not doing it. - Yeah. - It's Owen Wilson. - I let him kiss me. Would you have left, right? - He's not dark enough. - Okay, first of all. Yes, and okay, but. - I ain't one lot of y'all. I didn't even know who that was. - Oh, Wilson. - Yeah. - Until I looked him up in the air, I was like, oh, he's the car's guy. And I'm like, that man, oh. - He's lighting my queen, yeah. - If you, you know, if you stayed, I'll say this. - In a way, I'm not a kiss, no, oh man. - He's a legend. - How do you not know who he is? He's so many movies. - Did you like the Royal Tenant Bums? - Who? - The Royal Tenant Bums. - She doesn't know Wes Anderson is. - Oh, okay. - That's definitely not her job. - You'd change schools too early. - Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't watch lighting my queen though. - Yeah. - But Owen and Luke Wilson are brothers and they're very famed. They did a movie called "Bottle Rocket" when they were young. They got famous pretty young, arguably young, right? Like 25 or something. - Yeah, I don't know. - Well, he's great. Well, so would you, so you're like, I'm not letting this all be. - But no, we talked about it. And he was like, well, we could just, you know, whatever your most comfortable went. - Yeah. - And we did the, like, the side profile type thing. - Mm-hmm. - And we made it work. - You did. - Yeah. - What if Matt Rife wanted to kiss you, or was that what happened? - No. - No, no, thank you. - Who's better looking though, do you think? - Huh? - Who's better looking? - Matt Rife or Owen? - Those two guys or Bobby and-- - Okay, well, Owen, when he was in his younger days, maybe so, but Matt's not ugly either. - He's handsome. - Right, I mean-- - Yeah, yeah, but not your type. - No. - Okay. - We gotta, who's in Hollywood? Michael B. Jordan. - What about him? - Who's your guy? - I don't know. I have a guy as far as like this. Yeah, you know, that's a good question. Like nobody is-- - I don't have a name for that. - You don't have like a, that's cool. - A crush or anybody, no. - Let's name some names and see if she likes. - I mean, Aaron Pierre is nice. - Who? - Aaron Pierre. - Aaron Pierre, I don't know who that is. - Yeah, you guys went through the run of school too. - I know, I went to a white school. - Aaron Pierre. - Oh yeah, this guy is really handsome. - He looks a little feminine, that's the second one. - I think it's just his eyes and the movies. - Beautiful eyes. - You like that. - Can we throw some names out? - Okay, go ahead. - One through 10. - Well, 'cause here's the note. - Yeah, that could be tall and black. - And black. - Joanna Mann right here. (laughs) - That does look like Joanna Mann. - He does look like Joanna Mann. (laughs) - All right, so they got to be-- - He's with Alba. - Ooh, yes. - 10, one through 10. - 10. - Oh, he's a 10. - Okay, because of the English accent, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - Black it. - Yeah, let's give me some-- - All right, so for 10's, we got it. - Okay, for 10's, we talk about that. - We talk about that. - Tall and black, Forrest Whittaker. - That's that old man. - That's that old man, yeah. And he's been old since I've known him. I feel like he was never young. - Fast enough. - Yeah, I'm trying to-- - He was old when he started. - He was. - Yeah, that's a note. That sounds like a note from-- - No, it's a note for you. - Denzel. - Nice. - Absolutely handsome. - One through 10. - I mean, he'd love that. - Not a 10. - Seven. - A good seven eight. - Seven eight, you would though. - No, I don't think over the people. - Oh, okay. - What do you mean? - It's Denzel fucking washing. - Denzel washing legend. - I don't know, it's something about me trying to date older people. Why? - To me. - I'm 30 something, I don't think so. - But you're a grown woman? They're-- - I am, but I just don't know. - They you just all like how far the gap is? - Yeah. - But what comes to them? - That's like one of my daddies. - So like Judy Dench. I know she's 90, but I would-- - I would have. - Fucking no condom raw dog. - I'd hit. - I don't even know who that is, but okay. - Dame Judy Dench. - James Judy Dench, yeah. - Dead dead. - James Judy Dench. This episode's called James Judy Dench. - James Judy Dench. - James the bench. - Anyway, yeah. - So age has a lot to do with it. - It do. - Yeah, it do. - What's the gap? You go up to what? - If it had to be somebody older, no more than 45. 'Cause I'm gonna be-- - You're out, you're in. - So like-- - You're still in. - Because my mom and my dad were 10 years apart. And I just feel like-- - You said to be exactly like your family-- - No, it doesn't, but that was just, that's the bracket. - No, that's the bracket. - Yeah. - Yeah, so you're still in, you still have a shot. - I still have a shot of day. - You gotta get a tan. - Just keep saying no. I'm just gonna get, I'm just gonna get tan. - He's gonna get really tan for you. - I'll tell you in a most black women like redheads. - I was gonna say, I mean, the whole hair situation, you know, it looks very nice on you. You're very handsome, you're just not my type. - So I can't take you out on a date. - You absolutely good. - Nice. - But I know I'm gonna get nothing out of it. - But what does that have to do with going on a date? - Wait, where are you taking the road of day? (laughing) - Yeah, where are you gonna take me? - Yeah, where are you gonna take me? - If you say Chuck E. Cheese, I just wanna fuck it up. (laughing) - I will lose my fucking mind. - What's crazy? - I don't say Chuck E. Cheese. - I'm a simple guy, and let me tell you something. - I did three segments with people, not randoms, but people that knew. And I said, if we were going on a date, where would you take me? And so me? - Well, I would do a variety of different. - So many of them want to build a bear for us. - So many of them did say Chuck E. Cheese. - Chuck E. Cheese, that's what I'm talking about. - They did, they said Chuck E. Cheese. - I would say build the first build a bear, right? And then-- - Oh, we definitely gonna build a bear, 'cause I-- - Yeah, we're gonna build a bear. - I love build a bear, actually. - I think-- - I probably build one of you. (laughing) - You could never build me. (laughing) - I would, I would, they have the option. - I would wanna take you somewhere humble. - Okay, humble. - See how, see how, 'cause fancy, it means like then all you want is my money. - For sure. - So I would take you to McDonald's, but-- - Is food. - I would keep an eye on you, 'cause I don't want you to get lost in that play pit. - Absolutely, 'cause I'm definitely gonna be in it. - You get in there, 'cause I know we're getting in that fucking-- - The ball is-- - Yeah, the ball is-- - But I would take you to McDonald's, 'cause that would check your, see what you're really interested in. In me or my money. 'Cause then I wouldn't, okay, but, okay. - What would you order at McDonald's, you think? - It's gonna be a mixed chicken, because I don't eat day burgers. - You don't like that burger. You don't eat red meat, ever? - I used to, but it used to make me sick. - Yeah, it's wild. - I mean, I'll eat like beef, like here and there, but if I could choose turkey or chicken, I'll choose that. - See it, you do like white meat. Come on over. (laughs) ♪ Come on over, come on over baby ♪ - Clock it. - What are you doing? - 20 minutes. - Nothing. - Oh, look, look at it. - Was it my year? - No. - He pulled his magic, I don't get it. - What was it my year? - It was legit, legit on the magic. - See what that was been the last time. - Yeah. - I'm incredible. - You're one left. - I did, I'm sweet, and I'm in love with you. - Yeah, I'll wait for my year. - Yeah, why should I've seen her in yesterday? I didn't know that Bobby at 55 could go on his hands, lift his legs, curve his whole body, almost completely naked, over a guy on stage. (upbeat music) ♪ Maybe I won't run my brain ♪ ♪ It's just yeah, two, two, yes ♪ - In fact, it says, it says, like, "Lalgarians were something on yet." (laughing) - No need for a name, you know, or like a, the Stevenson, like a pharmacy, you know what I mean? Like a local non-pop Stevenson family. Since 1904, remember what happened last time you were here? - Yeah, I don't remember. - You guys, fuck me. - That's the thing you remember? - Well, my friends came in and you just ignored them? - You don't remember the butthole? That was, I feel like, a bigger boss. - Yeah. - You can ask that, talk to your friends a bunch. - Okay, good girl. - Yeah, that's the first day Carlos and we walked a deal, like, this is where we were. Bobby and Madness, we were about to say, "I got you, it was so bad, I have to be shit." - I had to rent a car, though, because my shit got pushed back. So I drove in from Dallas this morning, 12 hours. - I got it. - What? - Yeah. I woke up at 3.30 in the morning and drove 12 hours. - It turned out that the Greyhound wasn't reliable? (laughing) - Wow. - And you're in Atlanta now. - Yep, I'm right. Look at it, it's right where the butthole incident happened. - It's not the show we saw, though. (cheering) (cheering) - I'm gonna never tell the asshole if I knew it. I'll be real, like, I mean, really? - Yeah, really? - Oh, memories. - Yeah, you know what I'm saying? - It brings you back. - I'm gonna say hi to the kid. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's called Tabernacle? What is this called? - It's a Tabernacle. - What's up, Red? - Hello, what's up, fat ass? - Hey, fuck you, Red. - Yeah. - Hey, Red. - Yeah, I can't wait to see you tomorrow, guy. - T-L-T2's in three. - All right, you did that, fat fat, I'm fat, I'm fat, I'm fat, I'm fat. Fuck you. - I'll be. - Yeah. - I miss you. - I miss you too. I'll see you tomorrow. - All right, good. So this wall right here, this was the original conceit of the glory hole Carlos time after time. - Idea. - Oh, you really missed me? - Yeah, man, guy with a tender face. (laughing) - Have you ever been a good boy? - Yeah. I'm can't wait to see you see your face, man. The tenderness of all your spits on me. - I do, man. I can't wait to see you tomorrow, man. Your spirituality is good. - That's real. - I saw your old smoothie with Bobby Challey. - No way. - No way. (laughing) - Any time he got to tell you that I saw it. - It's bad? - That was really bad. (laughing) - How are you? - I feel really bad today. - Oh no. - Do you ignore me? Like I'm dating again. I tax him ignore. (laughing) I'm asking him again, ignore it. - It's not about love, it's about love. - It's an ostrich approach. You know, if I don't respond, this doesn't exist. - An ostrich approach. (laughing) - It's a spain experience. - Yeah, it definitely is. - Well, you guys know ostriches? - Yeah. - We know. - Yeah. - There's an American Korean ostrich. (laughing) - Oh shit! - Let's dance out! - Out. (laughing) - Bobby's supreme. - I farted in bed this morning, and then got out of bed to get ready for this, and the fart lofted from underneath the bed, and it followed me to the kitchen. It had been in there for hours. She was hiding. She was sneaky farting. - We need air. - Yeah. - I need to spread your legs for the air. - Okay, word. - Spread your legs, pain. - Yeah. - Hold it in the air. This guy, he just got out of the tail. (laughing) - Hey man, can't get me to come in with my meat shirt off. (laughing) - Sorry. Get in the zone! Out of zone! - Did that go? - Yeah. - Exactly what I did. - I'm done. - Out of zone! Hey! - Hey! - How you doing? - One, two, three. - Morgan and Morgan! - Look at this guy. Fuck, that's awesome. - Sure, it's so sec, straight legal man. I swooped it up, I made a straight legal chip gas. How come you can't say cheap? Cheap. Look at how cheap the gas is, look at the chip gas. Look at Shitty Borat. Yeah. What kind of chip? Yeah, it was. Say, say heep. Heep. No, heep. Heep. Say teep. Teep. Say me, you fuckhead. You know how teep? The gas is. The substance. Is yours for hot fancy? You fuck a little burger? No. Dude, they're fucking everywhere. Huh? I love the chip. They're fine. The one on the fucking island closed. I don't know. Yeah, so it's turned as fancy on. And you wouldn't say any of the transport I got night there. Fuck you, stop. Isn't that Rachel Dolazon? How do you come up with all of this? Oh, the other movie we all have to do. I see the. I don't think we can make a filler. Oh my god. I want to see that. It looks. Is it in theaters? It will be in theaters. I think Friday. I'm so excited for that fucking movie. The tarot of Elizabeth Holmes. Yeah, incredible. Roger Ebert said it's. He said it's ground. Ground moving. For a documentary. Yes. He's never seen anything like this in his entire life. Roger Ebert said that? Yes. It looks insane. Like he moving. All the critics have said it's about monumental documentary. They did that. It's been put together at the past like decades. Yeah. It's insane. Incredible. I don't know what's going on in here. I don't want to tell. I just want to fucking run in here. No, I want to buy stuff. Valet. You want to shop? This is like. Look at 15 different stories. Which one was. I discovered it. But I mixed them. Oh wow. Yeah. Thank you. Wow. No, this isn't the one that you smoked. What is the list? No, what is our list? One, it's a zinny, close to my face. Oh, should we try that dude? Like it is Chinese. Oh yeah, I need this one. Do you smell it? Yeah. It's called Shio. Oh, it looks nice. Yeah. That's actually pretty good. Let me smell it on your skin. No. It doesn't do good on your skin. What? It's some kind of your skin changing the composition. Oh my god. Dude, you're freaking me out on this. I don't think that's going to be a ****. No, this one probably doesn't. No. No, not on your skin. Yeah. It's going to be a cucumber. No, it's going to be a cucumber. Dude, he was wrong. He was wrong. He was wrong. No, not doing wrong. Look at the same **** in colonial history. That's going to be so ****. Yeah. Poor block. It's going to **** me. I'm going to ****. I don't care. You let me into this layer. You ****ed up. You ****ed it up, dude. Nothing, dude. I'm always wanted. I'm on a level fan. I'm John. How you doing? Yeah. I'm John. How you doing? Smollin' on the ****. I'm yourself. I'm the smollin' on the ****. Just said, "Jackantica's fate." She got popular. She said, "Jackantica's pleasure." Excuse me, man. Excuse me, manager. Who's that weird Spanish guy up front? Yeah. He actually just shows up on his own. He's a teacher from Quinnipi Avenue. Who's that? He's a geek. I need to find you love. Can I find you love? Because you're not. Look, if we can't give you the love that you deserve because yeah, I think you're a wonderful person. Find me love. Find me love. Find me love. Well, because we ask our fans. That's one of ours. We ask our fans. Oh my God. Doc would be **** perfect for you. Who is that? He's not tall, but he's taller. He's dark, though. Who is that? Doc Lewis is a guy who's on our show. That's Doc. Right there. Do you find him handsome? Yeah, it's trolling, right? No. Why? No, no, no, no. He's a friend of ours. Look, that's me. He's on our show a lot. He's kind of a featured player of our show. We love Doc. Go to images. I see the image right there. What? You don't like him? He's handsome. He's handsome. He's handsome. He's handsome. He's handsome. He looks like he's studying books a lot. He is very smart. He's very smart. Alien books. Do you want to know about aliens? He knows about it. Don't you want an intelligent boyfriend? He's very intelligent. - I don't want to do, but I don't want to do it. - Yeah. - Okay. - Oh, come on, Santino. - He needs some different glasses. - Okay. - And I take like, first of all, I'm their glasses. - You can touch them. - When I don't have my contact, so I'm a glasses person. - You can fix Doc. - You can fix Doc. - He's a working problem. - He's not a doctor. - All right. - You're not a doctor. Well, he's a Doc. - Yeah. - Yeah. - With something that we, well, we'll think. - We'll get you hooked up. - We'll get you hooked up with someone. I want to find you love. - I think you deserve it. - Did they know Data Show? - Yeah, it is. - Yes, it is. - Oh, okay. - Yeah. - We've met a lot of people. - We actually have done a fucking good job. - How many people y'all put together? - 20, 20, 22. - 23, 24, 5, 6, or 7? - How many have they actually worked? - They're all married. - They're all old married kids. - But y'all are. - Two of them are dead. (laughing) They lasted so long they died. So this movie comes out in October. - It does, it comes out October 2. - And you're excited about it, huh? - I absolutely am. I can't wait to see you. - You think you're gonna pop off from this thing? 'Cause it's going into 2,000 theaters. - I hope that's like, listen, when they say, what is it, three times a charm or whatever it is? My first movie it did something. I was in Little Woman LA. But I feel like this is my third time in a charm. So I feel like this-- - Little Woman LA is a TV show or a movie? - TV show. - I don't know. - Okay, don't let me-- - I'm learning. - John's not yelling. - I'm learning. - I'm just talking. - I'm learning, TV, Little Woman LA. - Yes, Little Woman LA. - Were you scared of any of those women? - No, actually, I-- - This was after though. I kind of got over her. - You got over your fear. Now, how do I conquer mine? - Well, you sit right here with me, so I mean, I don't know. - I'm shaking inside. I'm so nervous. - You saw my friend that I went to college with and we cheered together and I had to be like her. It was called Big Sister, Little Sister typing. - Yeah, well-- - Oh, God, she hated it for the first time. - You were a cheerleader? - I was, yes. - You were the Little Sister. - No, I was actually the Big Sister. - Whoa, dude, what are you saying? - No, I asked if you were the Little Sister. - Wow, I'm gonna apologize right here. - Really, Chuck E. Cheese joke? (laughing) - Get the fuck out of here, love that shit. - Yeah, 'cause you definitely came forward the first time. - Let me tell you something. Well, so Little Woman LA, also, also, so one of our closest friends, Brad Williams, he's a little person. He know him, he's a comedian, he's very funny. He's a famous little person. He's very famous. - Y'all don't, all these people this. - Do you know him? - Oh, I know of him, yes. - Yeah, he's a good comedian, he's very talented. - He's a good friend of ours. - Very funny. - Okay. - He does a bunch of tons of stuff. - So he makes a lot of jokes about being little. - Mm-hmm. - And he says, the M word, the M word is the most defensive. - It is, it is derogatory. It's like calling a black person the N word. - So you say the M word is the N word. - To me, yes. - If you don't have a little person in your life, you may not know. - That's what I'm saying. - But Dwarf people think is a bad word, but he says Dwarf is what you, he's a bad word. - No, Dwarf is the correct terminology. We have Dwarfism, so it stems from that. I mean, of course. - But which kind do you have again? 'Cause which one did Brad say he's got? He told us before. - Is he Acon or Sudo? - Acon. I love Acon. (laughing) - Sudo, I prefer Sudo. - Gotta be locked up. - Acon, yeah. - Oh, let's be locked up. - Acon, yeah. - I actually had, so I just found out because I really didn't know. - What? - Oh, which one? - Final Bifida. - You have Spinal Bifida. - Mm-hmm. - What's up? - Why are you guys laughing? - Why is that funny? - Andres, what's your laugh? - What is it? - Why would you laugh? - Spinal Bifida. - Spinal Bifida. - Spinal Bifida. - He does say it a lot. - I do say it a lot. - He does it when it's weird 'cause I've never really met somebody with it, so it's like, this is really good. - I don't think he knows what it is. - I don't know what it is, so it's like, when I look at you and you, 'cause you don't really, - Wait, you don't know what it is. - What do you want? - What do we not know? - He thought Spinal Bifida was like your back was crooked. - No, that's what that stands for though. - That's why I'm a Bifida. - I think it, I think it's the phrase of Lord. - No, but he thinks like, you're gonna, you're like hunched over. - So that's my card note. - I didn't say that. - You the fucking thing, no idea. - It's a curved spine. - That's why I say, I really don't know. - That's what Bifida means. - So they say it's called Spinal Bifida in Pipacy or Displasia. - Yeah. - That's, yeah. - So I gotta ask Brad. - Are there extreme versions of like levels to the game? - Now you asked me a lot about little people. I do not know, 'cause-- - No, no, no, no, it's Spinal Bifida. Is there other levels to the game of Spinal Bifida? - I don't know, nine or whatever. - How hard does the Spinal Bifida go? - Yeah. - I'm at the curvature where I was supposed to have surgery. I didn't have it, 'cause that mean I would have had to sit out from doing chili, impagence, dance. I had time to be sitting down. - Your joints hurt from dancing? A lot. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, here we go, Brad. - My curved spine is like-- - Brad, you're on bad friends. I'm just calling that guy our buddy. You're being, your spot is our favorite little person that's been overtaken. Sorry. - Who do I have to kill? - Damn. - You can't kill it. There's no way you can kill her. It's Keish, yeah. It's Keish. - What happened? - Keish. - Is she qualified? - She is probably the coolest. - Qualified for what? - Yeah, qualified for what she wants to know. - Qualified as being a little person? - No, she-- - Yeah, if you want to see-- - She's a famous little person. - She's got a side of Biff, too. - Yeah, she's a famous little person. And she says she'd like to slide in as the-- - I'm probably shorter than him. How tall is he? - How tall are you? How tall are you, Brad? - Four for four. - How tall are you? - Oh, I'm way shorter than you, Boot. - Three five and a half. - Three five and a half, dude, sorry, bud. - She's way better than you. - I'm sorry, man, when it comes to that. - All right, well, there's got to be some kind of-- competition. Oh, and LP competition. I would love this. What do you think you guys want to compete against? She's a dancer. So be careful. Run across. It was smashed her head against a wall or run through a wall. What would the competition be, Brad? Well, if she, if he's a dancer, you know me, I've got, I've got some moves. I've got some junk in the trunk. He yeah, he's got a huge shitter. Let's do a dance off. I say we do a fucking net. When you come to L.A., we're doing a dance off. Does that sound good? Keesha's I have to compete too. Bobby got it. No, I have to compete to it. Clock clock clock clock clock. And then all right, Brad, I love you. We'll talk to you later, baby later. Sounds good. Bye, buddy. All right. Um, please go see Keesha and rolling out an October second in theaters Friday, October the second all over the country. All over 2000 theaters, 2000 theaters. And you better follow her ass on social media. Follow me on any type of social media. Give her a round of applause. Thank you, Keesha. Give it up for Keesha. Thank you for coming on the show. We appreciate. Oh, that was so fucking it. Clock it, clock it, clock it, clock it, clock it. We do me a favor. Will you look into your camera? This one and say thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you all for being a bad friend. Yeah.