257: Odd Layers.. Ft. The Basement Yard

Okay You can hum the intro today if you want I don't know the intro Crazy we know it obviously Frank you do it hit it. I mean why don't we do it together? You'll listen and you'll get there eventually we will yeah, that's fine Are you guys ready for today? I'm very ready. Yeah, I'm so excited to have you guys people that are watching are already Probably screaming in their cars their house wherever they are because they've been begging for you guys have they well How hands and knees I would ever go. Yeah Take it easy Second of all whatever the responses is not enough. So I hope that they just ramp it up a little bit Hands and knees wasn't a nice. What else do you want them to do throw offerings at our feet? Maybe you know, okay offerings. Yeah, what would be your ideal offering? It's a great question man I mean, I don't hate tropical fruit. I knew it would come in the form of food. Yeah Tropical fruit would be great pineapples supposed to be a really nice gift. I don't care about that Is that is that something with swingers that swingers? It is it is don't lie You know what I'm saying down pineapples outside down pineapple in your car to the grocery store indicates swinging Allegedly, I heard on like I'm talking about I don't know why I'm so passionate about swinging. I am not Apparently on like cruise ships like cruise ships and like cruises Yeah, like a pineapple on your door. It means like come on in You know, I'm welcome. Yeah, yeah, that goes 10 fold So people bring their own pineapple decorations on the cruise wouldn't shock me. Yeah, I've never been on a cruise So I haven't either no, I kind of refuse. I've seen the virus. Oh, that one too. I watched the Titanic on my flight yesterday Nice. It's a great movie. It holds up. It actually is really good. I went to the Titanic museum That's what you did where it was built in Belfast Yeah, are you into the conspiracy theories though that the Titanic didn't shit sink. It was actually its sister ship the Olympia You got into that. What would be the point of the you know, I'm sure there is a point. I'm sure it's fraud Okay, that's actually that's a great point that I didn't think of no, I think it went down I mean all the all the like there was like famous people on that ship who died well that well They made a conspiracy theory that it was the Olympia. They thought it was the Titanic. Oh, I mean, doesn't matter Yeah, why would they bamboozle people in the 1910s insurance money? Yeah, and then the banking thing like That's when the federal reserve was founded right after that and the three people that opposed it the big other Banky people that opposed it died on the ship So I like and the last one the fourth guy that was supposed to be on it canceled right before he didn't go So it sounds like you're into the conspiracy theory and you want us to kind of be in it. Yeah, I'm kind of in it I like you're there You're right on conspiracy you involve a bank and I just believe it to be honest with you because if it's the banks involved then yeah We probably sunk that thing. I mean, I don't know about it. Oh, so it's probably like the British or someone I don't know. We weren't like the US was an evil. Yeah, actually. They had some evil stuff going on We were founded on evil. I was gonna say I feel like we've been evil since the jump. Yes. It's been Yeah, it's been an evil old time. Yeah, you know It's a hot start. I know 250 years this year, and I'm like I'm not looking too hot. Wow, we're getting to that conversation. No, no, this is supposed to be fun. Sure. Yeah, 250 years Crazy feels young. I mean not by Hollywood standards. Yeah Okay, okay, I Do you wish you could live forever? No These existential questions always freak me out because I'm my drive home I'm gonna think about it, and it's gonna ruin the rest of the day If I would want to live forever, but I would live to like a hundred and twenty I would take like one fifty one seventy five Something like that like I was a lot guys I think that yeah, but I think that like I would be really sad once you're like none of my friends or whatever around Yeah, probably do like 20 years of that, but then I'd be like bro. Yeah, no, it's my time. Yeah No, that's like 120 like backs. Give me give me like a, you know, K 75 and then the back 10 is just miserable. I'm very content with that That's so bleak. I mean, that's also so realistic a decade of misery. You're actually there right now First of all, why do you have to put it like that? That's crazy. The drive home is gonna be Sorry, it's gonna be silent. It's not your fault. It's technically like you just think you don't know The last ten years are gonna be the best you and your wife. You're gonna be in a nice little Assisted living place together the most sex is in assisted living homes and nursing homes STD right there climb. They don't use protection at all I mean is there a pregnant apparently allegedly, but if I'm 80 you have fun What do I care? You'll you'll bring your little pineapple decor to the nursing home? You think I'm swinging at 80 Bro, why not? If I know and like Hurt you know me. I get I get said in my ways. You think by 80. I'm gonna be like let's just switch this up I mean, maybe you could be a completely different person. You never know. I'll be I I my plan is at 80 to just be like Wheeled around slightly problematic with my opinions You know because at that point things will you just societal norms will change to the point where I have to be like we'll back in my day That's the natural progression of of you know of life Yeah, so I'm hoping and then you know, I've eaten too much lunchables to really have a good like gastrointestinal thing going on Can I can I drop a hard lunch? Yeah a hard lunch? Are they spot if I gotta have to pay for that? Can we drop a hard one? No, but now I'm very concerned about your colon health. Yeah you and me both. Yeah We should talk about colonoscuse after this. We don't need to colon cancer awareness month is coming I mean listen, I am aware of my colon and I think I'm doing okay. Oh, you're okay I didn't expect to talk about my colon scope scope scope You've been scoped I have I have received some some scoping some scoping okay, so you're on a good track They're keeping an eye out on things You know, that's like the it's like the landlord that checks in every now and that opens the doors like everything all right What's up? You're on it. Okay, I like this someone here Needs to start. Yeah, I guess go up this year Mm-hmm. It's time. Yeah, it's time. He said he's only gonna do it if they use like the old time you like Fire-blower thing if they put it in there and then they use that you know what I'm talking about do they do? No, no, no, you know like the one in the old cartoons where it has like a fan of flame. Yeah Like a fan of flame. Yeah, um, what is that? It's like for fires. It is a fire fire Floof. No, it's like a bagpipe almost, but for fire. It's um like a I don't know what it is Well, here's the thing you don't need to look it up. We can just call it something and say that's the name of it Frank's insinuating that I'm going to put that into myself and blow up my colon. I don't think you're gonna Pull it into yourself, but someone will be behind you Someone will be doing it. I cannot. I don't even know what you Google. I find this is not coming up Google we're very good. It's a flame fire fan fire fire fire pump old time me Don't type in what he said. I feel like it's gonna work though old time me pump. Why is it all time me fire pump? It's not a pump air pump fire full-time. It's like it. It's like a flame fan. Yeah, it's like an like a like a accordion accordion. Yeah, a bagpipe. It's similar vibes though like Yeah, okay, okay cool What a start. No, I don't know. I don't know where we're at right now. I didn't take any at all I haven't taken at all in years I was gonna take some today to like try to be more on top of things and then my toothbrush yesterday and my life It's just been like crazy since yeah, and I don't know where we're at, but I should actually introduce you guys because I'm horrible doing that And I want to make sure we do you we do justice and we do it right Hi guys, I'm Morgan. Welcome to another episode of two I take today. I've got the basement yard guys Joe and Frank Hello, thank you for having me. That's what I'm a pause for applause. I'm really into the blankets It's very cozy and I wore my cozy sweater too, so I'm extra cozy You're right. We didn't talk about making sure we wore the same colors, but you coordinated very well We we it was completely accidental which just if I had my feet up. I'm fall asleep. Yeah, we have a box for you No, no, no, I'm doing my best. Don't put me down. FDR impression right now. Yeah, you look great. I can see you in the camera Do I yeah, oh wow, I got my belt. Can I say something? No, your knees look huge Please don't talk. I think it's the pattern the pattern. It's the pattern. Look. It's the pattern. Look at how big that knee look It's an optical say me an optical illusion. Yeah, no, like I could do this Yeah, dude, look at your right knee pads Oh my gosh, okay, I'm so excited. Have you guys let's dive in sure , dude? This episode of two attakes is presented by State Farm. It can be hard choosing the juiciest story for you guys on this podcast And if you need help making a choice, State Farm helps you choose the coverage that matters most to you Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan Like a good neighbor, state farm is there. Prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state. Covered options are selected by the customer, availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. - My listeners told me that you don't like poop. - You see what we got? Why do we, why is that like, what do they know that? - Why is that where we're starting? - Well, 'cause they listen to you. - You guys are like burping farts, don't. I don't like bodily functions put on display. I think they're atrocious. - How do you feel about cats? - Love cats. - Yeah, that's gonna be an interesting juxtaposition. - Pooping cats. - Oh God. I mean, like animal poop, whatever, like they don't know what they're talking about. They're idiots animals. So like, I kind of accept animal poop, but like humans that should know better about talking about their own fecal matter, bodily functions, they suck. - This first one is coming from Truff my chest. It is four days old, titled. I just found out my boyfriend uses our dish sponge to wash the cat's dirty litter box. I'm going to throw up. - Already no. Like that's against the rules, one. There should be a, can I also say that if you do have an animal and there's things that you need to clean in your house, there should be a separate brush that we are all aware of so that we can clean those things. - But my question is, it does, if you're cleaning, the soap should kill whatever the bacteria is. - Don't start with it. - So then why would you use one tooth brush for everyone in your house? - I mean, maybe, I wouldn't mind. - You're disgusting. - Why, it's my wife and my children. - No, dude. There are just some lines you don't cross. - I mean, but like, tooth brush is different because like, you're not like sanitizing your toothbrush? - Oh my God, let's give you a little more details 'cause this is just, I'm like nauseous now. I've regret this choice. So I asked my boyfriend to clean the cat's litter tray today and I watched and kind of helped him with it. When he was in the kitchen, I saw him washing something. I asked him if he was doing the dishes. Only for him to tell me, no, I'm washing the sponge so there's no litter in it. We use that sponge for dishes. Our glasses, my fancy baking equipment. It's a dish sponge. I was in disbelief, so I asked, you mean the scrub daddy, the dish sponge? He confirmed, yeah, our scrub daddy. I instantly told him not to do that and he asked me why not. I told him because he was just cleaning capy with it. He told me, but I'm washing the litter out. What else am I meant to be washing it with? I don't know, a hand towel, a cloth, a kitchen roll. I told him a cloth and he said the ones we own can't really be washed. I told him I'm buying us a new sponge and I threw the old one away. He seemed very defensive and is out and away with his mates for a drink. I'm now sitting at home feeling so sick to my stomach. I can feel bile in my throat. He's washed the cat's litter tray twice before this. This means it won't have been the first time he's used. Our dish sponge to clean a dirty litter box. Our dishes have been washed with a cat piece scrub daddy on multiple occasions prior to my knowledge and I've been none the wiser. I cook, he does the dishes. You really can't trust anybody else's food even in your own home, apparently. Oh my God. I mean, I'm not into this at all. There's so much that we can take away from this. First of all, are you okay with that? I think we need to, the person that submitted this, we need to check their vitals, their health because what if this is just a shining example of someone that is like in the best health of their life, best shape of their life? How is this where your mind goes? And then maybe it has to do with the fact like there is a clear link and difference between what this person is doing and other people. Maybe the cat piss is like a secret ingredient. So you're okay with this. Okay, it's a stretch. What about toxoplasmosis? See, but I don't know what that is, so it doesn't exist. What's toxoplasmosis? It's this like bacteria that cats can often harbor and it's really bad. It's an infective parasite. Oh. You can get it from eating undercooked meat as well. It did sound like a really delicious. I was going to say, that doesn't sound like something, that's a cool sounding thing to have. Yeah, proxmosis mimosa. What happened? That sounded good. I had infectoprosmosis. That's like an 80s hair metal band. What is it called? What is it again? Toxoplasmosis. Yeah. Toxos, not good. Toxos. That also sounds like a ninja turtle villain, too. Yeah. So I don't hate it. Yeah, it's really bad if you're pregnant. That's why pregnant people aren't even supposed to clean litter boxes because it caused birth defects. Like it's very serious. We should get dogs then. Yeah. The only difference between a dog and a cat is that the cats have a litter box. It's like three by three. And the dog's whole apartment or house is the litter box. And the dogs are like, I feel like to generalize. Sorry, dog owners are like less tidy than cat owners. Like dog owners constantly don't pick up their dog's shit. And it's disgusting. I'm picking it up and it's outside. What are we talking about here? It's not in the apartment. He picks it up and he snips it. I just went to a condo building the other day and there was dog shit right in the lobby. Here's the thing. Well, that's insane. I know. I didn't even come back and pick it up. Where we should go back and put it in the yard or is that elsewhere? Los Angeles. Yeah. That way, do full to pick up the shit. People bring their dogs everywhere too. And it's to the point where like service dogs are getting disrupted while they're trying to do their job because of everyone else's little pet. I got Coco barking and shitting down the aisles at the grocery store. Can't have that. So you're against service dogs. That's not what I said. He's not listening. It's a bad one. I said service dogs are great. And they're just out there trying to do their job. And they're getting attacked by the average pet that people are bringing to the store in line and saying it's a service dog. As a dog owner, I am not a fan of people bringing dogs where they're not supposed to be. I think you can kind of get away with like a brief, if there's an outdoor area, but that's it. Yeah. The grocery store grosses. The grocery store is, but I saw like literally someone with this big ass doodle. Like it was a sheep a doodle. So it was really, really tall. Oh, God. And it was like smelling all the food. It was licking pastry items in the bakery. Like, what, what? And they're big mobs of, and again, this is as a dog. As a dog. He's got a fuzzy dog. You have a doodle, don't you? I have a doodle. Yeah. And I mean, he's got a lot of hair. So like, even when he's outside or you don't just walk around with, he's picking up stuff. He's a mop of the shit. You can't bring him around. He's dirty food and stuff. It's like people that drop food in their beards. Yeah. Like that's your dog. You can't have people with long beards in the supermarket rubbing it all over the boxes. You know what I mean? You would not like that. So a part of this story that we're completely away from. Okay. Yeah. Let's get back to the cat. Yeah. Yeah. We are also ignoring the fact that this guy is, first of all, men are, like, just like stupid, you know, and that's coming as he's a dog owner. I am a man. And this is a classic example of like, I told him to clean. And he's just like, all right. I'm going to do it. You got it like, you got it like, where are you just advocating for like, this isn't a big deal because it isn't a big deal because of things like toxic prognosis. I've never heard of that. So like I said, it didn't exist. But also if I can victim blame for a quick second, you got to know you're dealing with dumb creatures here. So like, you need to tell him a little more like, by the way, here's something, here's what you should use to clean it. Now he also could be a prick and he could have been using some, you know, classic like what's it, weaponized negligence or something like that? Weaponized incompetence. That's it. That's what I was, that's what I was thinking because she's like, he's out with his mates, which, first of all, British, 100%. Yeah. So, or Australian, no, they would say like, they say mate. Do they use pint down there? Down there? I think it's like since the toilets go the opposite way, they don't call it a pint. They call it a cask. No. That's incorrect. No, like he went to get a pint. Yeah. I think this is British. This is, this is, we could, you know, there's someone in London eating cat shit with their stuff. I, I, again, I am, so I have something like this. Okay. So you have lactoproxmosis. No. I don't have that. What I have is these three brushes that are next to my sink in order to use to clean dishes. One brush in particular, that is like separate from those, that, that is just for the dog bowls. So if we're cleaning the dog bowls, it's going to be that one, not the ones that we're using to. Yeah. Obviously. But like, that's how it should be. I would never, you, I mean, like, I mean, you know me too. If I leave a plate out and like, I forget to put a plate in the dishwasher and then I'm away for the weekend and I come home, I'm throwing the plate out because I'm like, too much time with this being out and maybe there's some mold and I just can't get over it. I'm throwing the plate out. He has, we've talked about it a lot on our show. He fully, like I was there when it happened throughout a whole dishwasher's worth of I did cutlery because plates, I made a penny out of vodka and I like, like, you know, you kind of like wash the dishes before you put it in the dishwasher and I put it in and I closed it and I forgot to start it and then I was away. So when I came back, I saw that there was some mold. I was like, I'm throwing it all out. Well, why didn't you give it a chance in the dishwasher? It was already there. You could have at least given it a penny. First of all, the dishwasher was what he added from him out because I threw out all the dishes and then I ran the dishwasher like four times with nothing in it just to get it super clean. So germs are a big deal for you. It's like they are an aren't like it's, I don't know why with dishes, that's where I am and also like toothbrushes, like I'm not into that. Yeah. If you dropped to Snickers on the floor, would you eat it? Yes, I'll know. Oh, see I would. [BLANK_AUDIO] If it was a carpet, if it was my carpet in my house, I would eat it obviously. It depends on how hungry I am. - Yeah. - For a snickers? - Or like a baguette, like something good. - A baguette, where are you? - Just walk around. - It's just, oh my God, we dropped our baguette. (laughing) - I pick it up. - If it's on the, like the street, the wrong, no. - No, not a sidewalk here for sure. - Or like in your own home. - A sidewalk where? (laughing) - I don't know. - Like a cleaner corner, like a Vienna sidewalk. - I like just thinking, like if I bought a fresh croissant from like a little pastry place and it just falls out of my hand. - It depends how it falls too. If it hits the ground and I can pick it up, I'm just gonna rip that part out. Then I might go for it. It's gonna be tough if it hits the sidewalk though. - Oh no. - No, I think sidewalk is like, you just gotta get rid of it. - You got it, you got it awesome. But that's when, you know, like that has happened to me and I'll go, I'll turn around and I'll be like, I dropped my croissant and they're like, here's a new one. - Whoa. - That's very nice. - That is very nice. - You definitely don't have fear of rejection. - Oh, I absolutely do. But I also have no shame. So, he's a Karen. Stop that. (laughing) Don't do that. - Excuse me. - I dropped it for not your fault. Technically, I slipped on your sidewalk. (laughing) I dropped it for not your fault. (laughing) - Oh my gosh, the top comment on this cat story, why did you throw out the sponge? That is now the dedicated litter box cleaning sponge. - It's fair, that's fair. You could, you could. - I think it was more of like an anger thing. - Yeah. - Let me get this thing out of here. It's cursed. Also, throw out the guy. Get rid of him. - We going that far? - I mean, why not? Why not? - Sure. - No one will, this person will never hear this. - Also, it's a scrub daddy. I don't really know what they retail for, but aren't those like scrub daddy, sorry. - Are they expensive? - They're not, but they last forever. - Not this one. I'm saying just to throw the thing out. This is, first of all, I'm a huge advocate for scrub daddy, which I know they need all the PR they can get. - They're, oh, they're six dollars. - Oh. - That's not too bad. - For a sponge. - For us? - For one sponge. - They last forever. - Sitting on a Spotify set. Like, oh, six dollars for a sponge, not bad. - I feel like they're my baguette on the floor. - I mean, I buy the off brand magic erasers. Like, those are boozy. - I've never owned a scrub daddy, but I gotta get into it. - It's gonna change early. - Oh, especially the one with the handle. - Then you can like stick it in the mouth and see. - Well, that's what I've seen. - Well, we got to scrub daddy, the scrub mommy, the scrub babies. - What's the babies for? - Just like smaller things. - Yeah, they have different sides. The mommy has two sides. - She does. - She has an abrasive and a soft comforting side. - If you have glass surfaces, there's an amazing little kit they sell with like the citrus taste. - The paste, the putty. - So good. - That's what? - Putty for what? - To clean your glass. - Forget him. He doesn't know. He's not a scrub boy. - He's clean boy. He likes clean. - I like clean. - Yeah, but he's not on the scrub daddy train yet. - Well, he's just, he can be included. - He wants to exclude me. - This is messed up. - This is so messed up. - I'm being bullied. - Okay. Well, Catgirl, she was so embarrassed by it. She did delete the post. So I don't know if we'll get an update. - I hope they can solve this issue. - Why was she embarrassed? - I don't know. She deleted it. - So what were people saying? Were they on her side? - Yeah. - Oh, okay. - I mean, we know why. - Maybe the guy was a guy. - The guy's throwing me under the bus here. - Well, he's British. - So he said. - Throw me under the double double bus here. - You throw me, you throw me in J. Tobe. That's the train. - Train. - Well, yeah. - Technically, yeah. - Yeah, I mean, I don't know why she deleted it. A lot of people are like congrats. You've been eating off the litter box. This whole time. - Oh, yeah, maybe that's why. - That's fucking disgusting. He's gonna need to buy a new sponge. This, ladies and gentlemen, has called weaponized incompetence. - That's right. - Wow. He was just like, "All right, you want like daddy?" "Oh, I'm gonna do it, oh, I'm gonna do it, my way." That's probably exactly how he said it. Can you explain exactly what that term means? - So it's come up recently. A good example is a story I've had on the podcast before. And so it's when people will purposefully do tasks wrong so that they stopped being asked to do them. - Interesting. - So this girl asked her boyfriend, "Hey, can you do the laundry?" And he couldn't figure out how to wash anything. He'd combine everything. He'd throw bleach in with black. He was horrible at the laundry. Because he didn't want to do it. Why can't you do it, babe? - Got it. - So anytime he would try, he would mess it up. He bleached her little black dress. And she tried to like fix it with a sharpie, didn't work. And so in order to kind of punish him for his weaponized incompetence, she wore that black dress to one of his work dinners or something to embarrass him. - He did that. - Well, I don't know that that's the best course of action. - Yeah, to be fair. - Too petty for you? - Yeah, absolutely. I'm gonna get you back by wearing this dress that makes me look a little crazy. - So it's about the intent. Like the intent. I am going to do this on purpose. - You've never heard that term? - I have heard the term. I was just getting a clarification because I can understand from like the context clues of like the words, but an example like it would help me better understand that. But that's why I was going back and forth with like a guy being like, I've always just thrown the whites and colors together and I just kind of like wash them like that. Like that's just incompetence. - Yeah. - But if you're purposefully doing it, that's the weaponization of it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Got it. - Yeah, that is an insane thing to do in any regard. - It's happening a lot. - Oh yeah, I know. I've heard so many stories about how mentally unhealthy a lot of people are, especially in their relationships. Something like that is just, I am going to do it wrong. That doesn't serve anybody. - No, it doesn't serve you. - No, it does not. It does not. I like to be petty in other ways. Not that. - Not bad. - So my dad did this to me for years. He would ruin my laundry all the time. And then he would say, "Well, do you don't want it blowing? "Do it yourself." There's a lesson in there. - And you learned, yeah. - I did, I did learn. - Yeah, my dad stuck my clothes on the dryer once and I cried and he never washed my stuff again. Well, I didn't even, he wasn't doing my laundry. It was in the wash and I was going to take it out and move it. He thought he was helping me and then he strung all my shirts. - See, that's nice that you think that because my dad would have thrown him in a dryer, burnt it and it would have been my fault. - Oh my God. - I do that to myself. So I, in order to learn about which materials shrink and which ones don't, I eventually had to, I actually had to learn that the hard way. And I bought, for some reason, I was feeling myself and bought a cashmere sweater and then out of the dryer, it could have fit Stuart little. - He can start your back out, you know? - Wish I had known that. - I threw that out with my pots and pans. So that one I was just like, "Well, okay, well, "let's just pretend it says mold on it." - What the hell? - Would you eat a piece of bread that had a little piece of mold on it? - Today? - Morgan. - No. Five years ago, I would have torn the mold off and eaten that. - During COVID? - I was on a food stamp card. I was eating anything I could find. - Oh, man. - A baguette on the ground, a sneaker on the street. - Weaponizing, weapon, weaponization. - Yeah, weaponizing poverty. - Oh my gosh. Don't you hate? I come from, 'cause like, I definitely used to be the person that would be like, cut around it, you know? But now I'm just, I saw one thing, it was just like- - No, I'm scared of food poisoning. I had neurovirus once. - Me too. - Never wanna go through that again. - What's going through it? - I needed three IVs. Like, I- - Three? - I got my first one because of it. - Yes. - And I was like, "Now I'm addicted." - But you are. - What are they putting in those IV drinks? - Everything. - I get the all-inclusive one. - Sprinkled a little like fentanyl in there and that. - No! - That's a little. - That's bad. - No, it's got all the good stuff, all the B vitamins. - Yeah. - Sometimes I put some- - You get the yellow bag. - Yeah. - I glued a thigh on. - Where's that is, right? - I get some Zofran if I'm feeling a little nauseous. - Obviously. - I get that. - I get that. - Well, I got that, I should say. - I've never done one of these and- - You should. - You want to do it as luxurious. - No. - I've learned that if someone tells me to like, hang out and have something to do with needles, say no. - You don't like IVs? - I don't mind IVs, but like, I almost got one before our MSG show. Becca, like, hit me up and she, with my wife, was like, I want you to be in the best health possible, so I booked you an appointment to do an IV and, you know, sweet. And then it was the day of and I was like, I just don't want to do this. So I have a credit to do it, but I haven't done it yet. - You'll really like it. - I'm sure I will. - I'm sure you don't even feel the needle going. - See, but they're good. - Needles don't bother me at all. - Oh. - At all. I've been poked and prodded with enough to like- - What's the issue? - Yeah. What's the issue with IVs? - Yeah. - Like, why don't you like it? - I think because I will be the type of person that's just like, okay, what is actually in that bag? Are they just telling me it's, you know, like, all these vitamins, but it's actually like yellow gatorate or something? - No, it's legit. - They get-- - They talk about gatorate. - I mean, they would get in big trouble, but I can't-- - Think about, like, here's the thing. If you went and you got a bad IV with gatorate in it, think about the money you could sue them for. - That's true. My family would be rich. - You know? - I do also, though, take the approach of like, I'm not going to get into it because if I do get into it and I do like it, now we got a big problem on our hands because I'm not going to want to stop. - It's not affordable enough to be an addiction. - That's how I am with like Pokemon cards. If I start, once you pop, you can't stop. Like Pringles. - Okay. - Name every brand you can. (laughing) - Luxibles Pringles. (laughing) I threw a soft C in there. (laughing) - Okay, let's move on to this next one. - Okay. - This is coming from relationship advice. It's five days old, titled, "My boyfriend, 31-male, is mad at me, 28-female, because I let my cousin touch my old implants." Where were the implants? Where were they still implanted or were they "explanted?" Uh-huh. Subplanted. My cousin was over at my house, my first cousin, the closest I had to a brother growing up. He was sitting down and he looked across the living room and said, "Is that an implant?" I said, "Yeah." And I let him see it. He was like, "Whoa, that's crazy." And then I said, "Wanna see what the inside of one looks like?" Because one was ruptured and the texture is super weird. He said, "It's sticky like a glue trap." That was the whole interaction. So it was not in her body? No. No. My boyfriend was watching the security cameras in the living room. Uh-oh, first of all, spying on. Uh-oh! Spying on someone in their cousin? New level of experience. Yeah, and now we're getting into black mirror level shit. This is weird, okay. And he got pissed. He said that it was inappropriate and sexual and, quote, "white people fuck their cousins." That they do. That they do. So I was feeling that. I was feeling the whiteness in the room. Yeah, there was a clear whiteness in this. There was whiteness around. Only white cousins would be like, "Where are your old tits?" Like, "Is that your old boob boob here?" You know what I mean? Oh, he says, "Seriously? What the fuck?" He said, "You should have known that was disgusting letting your cousin touch your tits." And he said, "I am disrespecting him by doing something sexual." I don't think he's going a little crazy with that. I don't think it's disgusting or disrespectful. I think it's a little strange. It is strange, however. It sounds like there are some bigger control issues out here. Big fat ones. Oh, yeah. I never would have equated touching an implant outside of my body, especially a ruptured one, was the same as touching my boob. I said I understand how that may have upset him, and I can respect his opinion, and I'm sorry it hurt him. It won't happen again. But he is still claiming I should have known better. This is something that doesn't feel like anyone would have expected or automatically known. I guess I just don't know what to do anymore. I know this isn't healthy. I'm just shocked he reacted this way, and this badly. We've never been perfect, but this is a completely different level of anger. He's been an amazing man in the past. He's been super tense lately. And he's never gotten mad at something like this before. A pertinent info. We have been together for almost four years. We have had fights in the past, but all couples do. He's Arabic. I'm white. We have security cameras because there have been several break-ins. And the police said until we get the guy on camera, they won't do anything. Even though they have seen him on our property multiple times. And running from the house after we caught him. I do think that this guy is a little nuts, for sure. Because I don't think that's sexual. For me, it just feels scientific. It's like a medical thing. I mean, I've felt people's implants for scientific reasons while they're in their body. Different. Scientific. Different. I would never felt one. And I was like, I was like, sounds like curiosity. Yeah. We're all so queer. Completely. I'm doing it for science. I got a lab before. Okay. Every guy out there listening is going to be like, that's all. I'm going to touch a boob again. Science. I'm actually a doctor. Okay. Hear it now. I'm an expert. I was curious. I'd never felt an implant. No, of course. We're avoiding a huge part of this that is questionable. The security cameras. No, no, no. It sounds like it sounds like they. Well, first of all, sounds like they added some context. So why the security cameras are there? Why her husband is watching it? Strange. Also they're like, why? You know, like she's with the cousin too. But also like, why do you just have a ruptured implant just sitting out on your coffee table? Presumably, that's where it was. If it was in like a bedroom, we're approaching a little strange. But like, I don't know that I would go out of my way to tell my like, to ask my cousin. If I could touch an implant. But if I did, I don't, I think it's a giant stretch for people to be like, well, that's sexual. You're touching your cousin's, Ted. I'd be like, bro, this first of all, where was the hospital? There's a big, there's a lot of, there's a lot of, there's a lot of context we're missing. Like if this happened in like, Alabama, I would be like, all right. Maybe there's some, there's some room to understand that there's a little weird. But like elsewhere, not that bad. Yeah. New level of insecurity. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's really insecure, really controlling and weird that he locked into the camera to like what is that? I'm with my cousin. What are you like scared of? He's insecure and scared that they're going to hook up. White people. That is crazy. Yeah. No, that's personal. What is that? What is that? That's a crazy generalization. All right. I do have an incestory in one of my tabs. Like, oh, we're going. We're going there. Maybe. A hard eye. We can see where we go. We don't know. Well, that defeats the purpose of my entire case here. Well, go, go. No, no. No, no. What I was just going to say is that one, I think that's strange. If that was me in that situation, I'd be like, you're spying on me and I'm with my cousin. Yeah. That's the insecurity. Yeah, that is. It's kind of wild. And you just blanket statement saying that white people fuck their cousins. And that's why I'm watching as if that's an appropriate excuse for spying on me. And then it's, it also sounds like this person, like there is a clear power dynamic and control dynamic here because she immediately when like, he's been stressed lately. Like he's been going through it. And it's like, how many times have you had to say that to other people? Yeah. Yeah. That is a little. I don't. Well, this person's okay. Yeah. We do get a little bit of an update after some comments. But OP does also share like he's super possessive. He's never had an issue with my cousin before. His previous statements were like, quote, your mind. You can wear what you want because at the end of the night, you're coming home with me. He was kind of possessive like that. But that didn't scream red flags at me. I would say this does though. This is screaming red flags. He acquitted touching the implants as like almost like it's just like letting your cousin play with your dildo. That's insane. That's something that happens. That's a. Yeah. That is so different. No, but that's like, that's how he's comparing it. It's like it's so inappropriate to let your cousin touch your old implants. You basically let him play with your dildo. No way. No. This person's straight. That is crazy. I mean, reaching. That's what I was like. I will say this had this been a dildo short conversation. Yeah. That's very weird. That's very weird. Yeah. What's this? Yeah. Just like holding a dildo. I'm like, oh, I always wanted to see one like chill dude. This is too crazy now. Whoa. What were you playing with? I was just going like this. That was. Sorry to make you. Yeah. Exactly. That's a little too crazy. But like an out and about. Former retired implant. Yeah. I think it's like, it's like, you know, I've been taken out to pasture. It's like the old police dogs that are like on their last legs. It's retired. Yeah. It's not even in the game anymore. Old police dogs. I just heard. I was like, whoa. What? I was like, I'm saying like, it's like the old police dogs that are on their last leg. It's like, they're not even in like, they're not even working right now. Like, it's over there. Yeah. OP does have a comment where she's like, it's basically like, to me, you got a pacemaker out and someone wanted to see your old pacemaker like, it's a medical device. I would be, that would be a little weird too. Saying that an implant is a medical device is also a little. It could be. It could be a medical device. It could be a terrific instead of, you know, curious, but it's not a medical. It feels like it though. It's like, would you call like, I'm just thinking of like a male equivalent, like a penis pump. That's a medical device. Well, that's see, now this is, I don't know for some reason that feels different. Because if it had been reversed and it was like, well, if you're dead, a woman was upset that a guy was letting his cousin play with his penis pump that he used to have. Yeah. That feels a little stranger. Mm-hmm. Also, for some reason, I think. I haven't we like debunked penis pumps. No, it's a real thing. Oh, it's real? Yeah. There we go. You have to like snake oil. You have to squeeze the balls to pump them up. Yeah, you do. I don't know. It's a real device. Yeah. I'm sure it's a real device, but like, that feels different for some reason. Yeah, it does feel different. It's just a circular bag. We do have a picture of the implant. Oh. Let's get a gander. What am I looking at? It looks like a Petri dish. It's the implant. It's a, it's a top view. So it's like. That's a giant implant. Yeah, it looks like a lot of C.C.'s. That looks like a, maybe, is that like the, that's like the rupture. That's like when people like zoom in on like, you know, like germs under a microscope. It does look similar to a Petri dish. It feels similar to a Petri dish. Am I getting the scale? I'm pretty sure. I'm not getting the scale. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty sure. I mean, that's the arm of the sofa. So, I mean, it looks like it's maybe an eight-inch arm. It's like a softball. It's like, it's, it's spluted. Like, it's like, splute, like on the arm of the sofa. Oh, it's got to do it. It's got to do it. So, if you pick it up, then maybe it would like, yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. We'll also like, some people put their implants under the muscle and the muscle holds shape. Like, there's multiple ways to do that. Yeah. I mean, even staring at that, like, there's nothing really overtly sexual about that. Yeah. It looks like one of those, um, those like, everyone's got them these days, those little squishy things. They're like, ice cubes are like fruit. Yeah. They like went super viral. Do I drop another brand here or just? I got a list of them, I got them ready, locked and loaded. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I think this guy's super controlling. Yeah, it sounds not good. Also the anger and just like letting it linger, like that just feels strange, very strange. Yeah. said he got a new Mercedes and so maybe that's why he's so stressed. Yeah, you know, getting a new brand new. No, how difficult it is to ride around in my Mercedes. A brand new one at that. A brand new one. Now, you don't get it. You were talking about stress. In a world like we're living in try having a Mercedes. Try driving one of those off the lot. You don't find out that your your wife said homeliner cousin play with her boobs. If you think the atrocities in the world hold a candle to a stress that it causes to drive a brand new sports car, you you have no idea what you're talking about. Almost guy came up to me asked me for a couple bucks. I'm like, can't you see I'm driving a Mercedes. I'm going through it right now as well. Yeah, gosh, geez. You how much. It's true. What are you going to say? I was just going to keep piggybacking off of what he said, but I saw that it was time to stop. I saw. I read I read the room. You read the room. I told me right over there. I would have let you go on. There is an edit. We are done. Yeah, good. I'm just in shock at this point. I don't even know how we got to this point. And honestly, I'm really hurt that he just flipped into a completely different person. I'm glad. Yeah. Is there another edit that she's now dating her cousin because that would be the cherry. That would be a double. That would be awesome. That would get I'll check their comments one more time. I don't think so. Another edit. I'm in love with my cousin. Just let that be a lesson though. You could be dating a guy for four years. As soon as you find out in a situation like that, they're like, whoa, what's going on? Just know that that's not a one off. Also weird for the cousin. If he heard this and like she told the cousin the story, he'd be like, do you like me or something? Yeah, like what the hell are we talking about? Why was he so nervous? It's very weird. You reminded me of a story. And now I'm like, wait, I want to get your take on it. It wasn't on my agenda. But this. Yes. Okay. So this one is coming from Am I the asshole? It's titled Am I the asshole for not wanting my soon to be brother-in-law at my wedding? Oh, let's go. Hi, everybody. I'm a 26 female about to get married to my wonderful fiance, 28 male. He and I have been together for five years and our wedding is set to take place this spring. So for some backstory, when I was 18, I was on a date with a guy who was 18, too. We went out to dinner and I thought we had a really great time and I really liked him. After our date, I texted him, telling him I had a great time and would love to meet him again. He just responded with telling me thanks that he enjoyed our date, but he did not find a connection with me and would not want to see me anymore as he felt it wouldn't be fair to me. I really liked this guy and I was heartbroken, but I moved on. Three years later, I met my now husband. When I met him, I had no idea as to who he was. We hit it off and clicked instantly and fell hard for each other. It was not until six months later when I was at dinner with his family and his brother was there. And that's when I realized that his brother was the guy I went on a date with. I explained this to my husband. He was fine with it. I also messaged his brother, telling him I did not know that they were related in any way, but that I really liked his brother and would like it if he did not let our past together disturb my relationship. He responded by telling me that we were all good. However, he has continually flirted with me. When we meet for dinner, he always flirts. Staying stuff like my dress looks nice, that I look great, or telling me that something specific on the menu looks like I might like it. He always does this in front of my husband, who has not said a word about this. He also tries to make me jealous all the time. Like when we are all out with his family, he sometimes brings a girl with him. And if they have been dating for some time, he will always kiss her on the cheek, talk with her all the time, and flirts with her. I have kept my mouth shut about this, as to not cause anything bad between him and my fiance, but with wedding planning and sending out invites, I just had to say something. I told him I don't want his brother there because his brother always flirts with me and tries to make me jealous. My fiance looked dumbfounded and asked when this happens, if his brother does this stuff when he is in the bathroom or is simply not looking. I told him no and brought up all the things that I did here in this post. My fiance laughed and asked me if I was okay in the head, and if I was joking, I got angry at him, and I said that if he could not see how truly disgusting his brother's behavior is, then he is not who I thought he was. We have barely talked since then. I got a text from his brother saying that he was sorry if he ever made me feel uncomfortable and that he had no intention to make me feel that way. My fiance is still mad at me. Was I really the asshole for this? I just want my happiest day to be my happiest day, and it can't be that if I have to worry about his brother doing something. Okay. That was the doozy. I mean, asshole isn't the word narcissist feels broke here. He's really flirting with me. He said he looked good. You would really like the stink. Yeah, he told me I'd really like the mozzarella sticks. What the hell is his issue? He kissed the girl he came with that he likes. What are you trying to make me jealous? What's going on, dude? First of all, she say that she really liked the guy after one date. She was heartbroken. Heartbroken after one date. One of those immediate red flag. Did she not know that that was the brother? Who's to say? This feels like it wouldn't be outside. Yeah, this is also in today's day and age. Like if this person is saying they're how old they're 26. So when they went out and date when they were 18, eight years ago, social media still around. Yeah. You know, I unless 2018. Yeah. Yeah. So I imagine that she was going on the date with this new guy who ended up being her partner, like husband, you got a stalk. Do you think she stocks? She sounds like she might I know. Do you feel like this is purposeful? Do people even I don't know without stalking. I'm not going that far. Who wouldn't do that? But it's not called stalking anymore because that is like, well, yeah, not the not the federal. It's called like looking around. Taking a peek. Taking a peek. So you look at their whole social media history. It's out there. It's public information. As long as you're not like sending them like used socks and saying like, I will kill you and your whole family, you know, like that's when it gets bad. Yeah. Is someone done that? Nothing. I know if I'm sure it's happened. I'm certain I'm sure it's happened. It does. I don't I don't know like what Joey said. I don't know if assholes the right term. Okay. I think this person has some stuff that they need to work through with a mental health professional. I don't want to sit here and be the guy that's just like, don't believe her. Don't but you know, like clearly she's feeling something that is real. But what is causing it to feel that way might be something, you know, and there's history there. Is she trying to make, you know, a metaphorical square peg fitting around Hall, you know what I'm saying? Oh, I think that she probably enjoys the fantasy of there being this like both of these guys and she wants the brother to really be interested in her. So she's creating these scenarios kind of in her head. Kind of over analyzing everything, but he's just trying to be a normal guy because when you're reading that I'm like, oh, not I'm going to start flirting and then it's kind of like, oh, you look really nice and like for you to take that as something because you were so attached to this person at one time. I was like, it's the calls coming from inside the house. I love that you said that there's also a lot of context that we're missing here, you know, it's possible that like the foods he was saying she might really like maybe they were like overly phallic foods, you know, maybe it was just like, you would love the Venus Schnitzel, you know, like you would love the Jorizo like maybe maybe there's context that we're not getting that could help her side a little bit. Yeah, I appreciate that. I feel like overall, I think she's just either really delusional, maybe it's like just kind of off her a bit or no one has ever been nice to her ever like to just be told like, oh, you look nice and think it's flirting. Are people usually really mean to you? In a vacuum, I think that that would make sense, but the fact that you went on one date and then you were heartbroken, like to me that kind of gets me to believe that there's a little bit of like narcissism involved. I think that certain people like that also will almost in a way pretend that they're heartbroken so that they can get some sort of attention from other people and like, look at this thing that happened to me. I was dating this guy and then he ghosted me. And normal people are going to be like, it was one day who cares, you know, like even if you guys like talked for a bit, you met him for one time one date. Like how can you possibly care about that? But if I'm heartbroken that I'm going to get sympathy and they get comforted. So that's why it makes me believe that this person is like trying to create a situation where now I need this again because something's happening to me and I want to exclude it and whatever and in a weird way. That almost feels like. - She has the feelings for him. - I was gonna say, is this giving a little summer I turned pretty? - Never seen it, but yes. - Ooh, I did see a few episodes. - I feel like you'd be really into it. - I think my wife watched it. - Is that a-- - Conrad, Jeremiah. - Yes, I watched it. - What team are you in? - What? - What team are you on? - Oh, I'm not that in that I haven't said it. - We're still trying to figure out team Edward or team. - Belly. - Belly. - Belly, yeah. - Yeah. - What do you mean team Edward or team Jacob? - We're still trying to figure out that team, where we said, where we fall on there. - Belly, Edward. - Oh, okay, so you're just making the decision for us? - Well, the other one's a wolf and he weirdly imprints on her daughter. I feel like there's only one side to pick. - Okay, get 'em. - First of all, don't get me. (laughing) Second of all, you heard all that beautiful therapy talk. He, I mean, everything I wanted to say, he just said it in a very answer way. - Yeah, I, you sound healed. Like I really have, I've been watching some standup specials and I, this person really talks about mental health, Taylor Thompson, and I realized I'm like, I really need to go back to therapy because she seems to be like very self-aware and healed, and I'm like, yeah, you, you're giving healed as well. - Oh, I appreciate that. I have been in therapy. I also go out of my way to, you know, like read books and stuff to try and understand. - You read books? - Lobs books, books, loves books. - What's your favorite book? - Oh, I have no idea. - It, there was, I had an answer to this. I don't know if it's still my answer, but like during COVID, I read a book called "The Psychopath Test" by, I believe his name is John Ronson, but I read a couple of his books. - That sounds really interesting. - He passed a test. - You're not a psychopath? - No, but they, you know, it's a, it's a cool book, but he has a couple of books and I think they're all like pretty interesting, but that was like my answer for a bit. I don't know if it's still, you know. - You gotta read another book. - I have been reading books. I just haven't like taken inventory of which one is my favorite or something. - Do you have a good reads account? - I do, but I don't really like use it. - Oh, I feel like people would be really into that. If I had a good reads account. - Oh, maybe. - Definitely. - They go wild for his feet. I'm sure if they, like, I'm sure if they could like, see what his brain looked like, they would love that. - Are you on that feet website? - I'm against my will, yeah. - Don't Google it. - Oh, not foot finder or whatever. Not that. - He's a wippy feet. - Oh yeah, he is like a five star recipient on this foot website. - Yeah. - You do have five stars, gorgeous feet. - Yeah, if they could see what you're reading. - Oh my God. - Literally put your feet out there for free a lot. - Well, this was the thing that I did in the past before I knew this existed. And now I'm a little bit more, you know, - No free feet. - He's guarded. - Why do you think I started using blankets? - Well, I didn't know that there was an entire empire out there. - He also normally just wear no shoes and socks. - Look at this close up of your foot. - Oh, that's an ugly one. - That was on the show. I put my foot up on the desk. I am proud of the hit mobility to be able to get out there. - Yeah, there's anything that shows, you know, the real good range of motion. - I just wanted to people know that at one point in my life, I was an athlete, so I am able to do that. So that's all I wanted to do there. - They have a lot of feet picks. - Stop looking. - Yeah, this seems like you're objectifying him. - Yeah, you're like looking in real time. - This is like you're looking at my implant. This is getting, can I touch it? - Oh my God. - This little, this little, this is a good cut. - No, no it won't. - No. - You have a really good score, that's great. - Thank you. - That's awesome. - You should start monetizing it, honestly. I'm cool with not monetizing it as long as someone sends me like a plaque. - What do you want the plaque to say? Great feet. - Great feet, sorry. - Like I just wanted to be like a glass foot. Like a glass foot and be like, whatever it is. - Why don't you take a mold of your foot? - I mean, I can't give myself the, my guy. - Sell a mold. - I think they're gonna get you, like if they want, you know what I mean? - Well, I thought they would just be like a standard foot that they would send. - I try, I should create that. - I feel like it should be yours. - What was my rating? - Five stars. - Oh yeah, no, I gotta make the thing. - I try to provide him with foolproof business ideas. I do feel like if you made a mold of your foot and sold it on like our like our stores. - Our store? - A foot paperweight. - A paperweight? - Or like a silicone mold. - Imagine it right there on the stack of the books. - That'd be really great. - And like you could put like, here we go. Now you got me going, he's cooking. I'm cooking right now. - I think you need to. - It'd be a foot mold, but the toes would be like lollipop candy. So like-- - Oh, that's really, you're giving the fetish. - What do you think people are gonna do with them? You gotta lean in. People are gonna be doing that. - But then the eventually the toes will erode. So, and you gotta buy a new one. - That's okay. - It's client-a-man. - Can I say a candy? - I just wanna say. - Absolutely. That the idea that he just gave, he's done this like a billion times. That honestly is probably like the best one. That's how bad they're at. - And it happened here. - Yeah. Well, listen, magic happens. - I will, you know. - I'd support. - Magic happens. - I'll give it to Spotify. - A paperweight? - Yeah, a paperweight right there. - Okay. - So top comment on this one, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. What the actual fuck? You're the asshole. - Yeah. - It's to you. And trying to make you feel included in the family. And you think that's flirting. He has a date and kisses another girl. And you think that is him trying to make you jealous. You had one date with him eight years ago. And are still thinking about how much it wasn't a match. This is a level of delusion, not often seen. This is some next level shit. You're the asshole. - Oh, yeah. - And delusional. - Yeah, 100%. - Yeah, asshole is a, I don't know if it's the term I would use. - I mean too harsh. - I mean too harsh. I use it if I'm the brother-in-law, but now you're being an asshole to me, making me look like something. - Yeah. - And why are you doing that? - Do you think the husband is just like, oh no, what have I gone myself into now? - If I was the husband, I'd be like, dude. - Yeah. - This is weird. - I'd feel like, yo, you have it out for him, like you have an attraction to him. And that's why you're doing this like, nagging thing. - Absolutely. - Yeah, especially given the fact that like it's so bad in her head, she doesn't want to invite his brother to his wedding. It's not just her wedding, it's their wedding. He's also there. - A possible best man, even. - I would say he probably is the best man. - Yeah. - So. - It's crazy. - That is crazy. - That is crazy. - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day-configure. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Clump, dewy, hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. - This next one is also a bit crazy. - A bit doozy. - I think so. - Okay. - I'm excited to see what you guys think. - Oh. - This feels really wrong. - Okay. - It's coming from our very own to how it takes subreddit. Three years old. This titled My Male 27 Wife Female 28 showed her friends our sex tapes. My wife and I have been together for seven years married for two. We have a healthy and active sex life. One thing we like to do is just record ourselves. Nothing fancy, just our phones in the moment. We have a shared eye-cloud server that we send it to. That way we can watch it on our phones and other devices without it being saved on our phones. Sometimes like watching them together, or we both travel somewhat frequently for work and watch them then. My wife has a very active group of friends that she spends a lot of time just hanging out with, chatting and drinking wine, a typical girl's night in. They usually meet at our house, so I usually just go downstairs to play games, or sometimes I go out with my friends. They tend to get loud when they get drunk and whenever I don't have something playing in my headphones, I can hear them. A common topic is their sex lives. It made me feel weird at first to hear my wife and her friends talk about our sex life, but I remembered that I used to talk about my sex life with my friends when I was younger. However, the other night, I heard whooping and cheering. Like is an Avengers movie whooping? So I crept up the stairs to see the commotion. My wife was playing some of our sex tapes on the TV for all to see. I went back downstairs and stayed down there until they were ready for me to drive them home. Usually, there's some satirical cheers and such from her friends as I walk up the stairs and grab the keys. This time, a couple of them did wolf whistles. They've never done that before, and one even said, quote, "way to go, stud." My wife shushed them and decided to come along when I dropped them off. There was a lot of drunk giggling in the car ride. After I got home, I wanted to talk to my wife about what I saw, but I thought she was too drunk to have a serious conversation with her then. We went to bed and she tried to engage, but I told her I was too tired. The next afternoon, when she was sober and less hungover, I asked her why she showed our videos to her friends. She got a deer in headlights look on her face. She then said they were just having a good time, and she told them about our collection, and they started to beg to see them, so she obliged. I told her those were private videos, and she said we never said we couldn't show them to others. It's not like she sent them the files. I think she could tell I didn't like that answer, and she said that she'll make it up to me and then try to engage again. I backed up and said I was going for a drive. I texted her that I was hanging out with somebody for the day. When I got home last night, I set up camp on the couch and have been [BLANK_AUDIO] being there the past couple of nights. I don't think this is a call for divorce or anything. I'm just upset that she violated my trust like that, even though we never had an agreement. I thought it was just implied. I'm also upset since she didn't apologize until I started sleeping on the couch and that she originally tried to engage instead of apologizing when we first talked. - Well, how do you, how do you, I need a machete to get through the weeds of that one? I mean, this feels pretty clear. - I mean, that is wrong on so many levels. - It's so violent. - Is this from an M.I.D. ass hold thread? - No, this is from the two how-take subreddit. So just kind of like writing in. - Is this someone who like listens to the show? - There's a chance. - What the hell are you thinking? - Look down the barrel of the gun right now. - Yeah, like what are you thinking? Like I think that's, yeah, that's wild. I am also like, you're married to someone you seemingly trust them, whatever. I don't think you should be able to like show people that or also like, I don't know, man. Like, and I don't think this person, they're trying to find a middle ground and be like, well, I used to talk about my sex life when I was younger. Yeah, dude, we all did. But like now we're married and don't. - When you're like, I don't do that. - Yeah, when you're 18 years old. It's a big difference. - Well, and I was like, I went to go look at ages again. I'm like, is she a lot younger? And maybe that's why there was that comment. - Two years, right? - She's 28. He's 27. - Yeah. Way too old to be doing this. - I know. - Like, if one of my friends tried to show me a, like I'd be like, yeah, what the fuck are you doing? But also like the hooting and hooting and hollering that they're doing, like they're watching like the Super Bowl. And they're just like, yeah, way to go stud. Like, oh, I would never be able to see those people ever again ever again. - No. - I'm not saying that this is more appropriate, but a part that would bother me also is that you don't even respect me enough until I keep this a secret. Like you're doing it in my house and I'm there. Like it's not like you're like showing your best friend and like one of them being like, ugh. And just like that, I would find strange also. But at least like keep it a secret from me. But now you're kind of like outing me. Your friends are saying it to me. Like I definitely should not know that they know if anything, you know? Like that to me is like another level of disrespect. As well as like, this is like a traumatic thing for this guy to now like, come upstairs. All your friends are watching me naked, what? - It's super right. If we're all like we're averse, like flip genders, like I feel like if people would like have an easier time understanding this. Like would you like it if your husband showed all of his guy friends? - No. - Yeah, right. Like that would be insanely violent. - Like, come on. - Yeah. - That would be horrible. - I agree. I wouldn't even want my friend. Like I don't want my friends to see me in action. That's weird. - Yeah, very strange. - And then the fact that they were like, making a joke, yeah, yeah. Like they were making a joke out of it to the point. - Yeah. - Like if they had almost, because like they didn't know at the time that he had heard or saw. So like they're being like coy, like trying to be like funny, like way to go stud. Like it's kind of like rubbing dirt in the wound. Like yeah, that's not nice. - It's also fucked up to leave your partner out to dry in the sense of you're on the outside of this. We all know this happened. You don't know what happened. I'm gonna let them make those comments that are maybe gonna confuse you if you have no idea what's going on. And you're like, cool with that. Like that's not doing, like there's so many layers that are like wrong. - I know. I think too. Like the fact she initially was like Deer and Headlights trying to come up with like a plausible, like excuse, because I don't think she even put it in her head. Like always gonna hear this. - He's gonna find out. - The part that is also kind of weird is like the then trying to like use sex as like a, I'll make it up to you. Like this is like, again, I did say earlier that men are simple and most likely dumb creatures. But like to be like this person's upset, I'm just gonna like throw my body at it and then like everything will blow over and it'll be okay. Like that's a level of disrespect too. Like you're not valuing like the emotional, you know, damage that you did and you're just thinking that like the physicality of our relationship will completely fix that issue that I just called. Like that's a little, it's not very thoughtful. And it's also like you're undermining like my entire existence by thinking like you can, you can't fuck your way out of this one, lady. Sorry, I'm gonna make it up to you. It's like no, I'm gonna be like, that's what got us here. - I was just gonna say, yeah. - I did it first, so. - That is, yeah, I mean, I know that this wasn't from an M.I.D. asshole thread, but I'll say it again. Kind of an asshole, man. - Oh, she's an asshole. - I think who submitted this, like the female partner or the guy? - The guy, yeah. - I think also the, you're not thinking of your husband when you're like, I'm just gonna make this executive decision. You're not thinking of your husband when you're letting your friends make the jokes or do whatever. You're not thinking of your husband by doing this in the house that he's in currently. And you're also not thinking of your husband when you're like, I'll just fix this with sex. Like, 'cause then it's like, like I said, it's like, you're undermining his existence and being like, well, it's not like actually a person. I could just, you know, he'll forget about it if I just get naked. It's like, you have a crazy understanding of what a relationship is, you know? - It's hard to make jokes about this. - You would, this is, I feel like you're not gonna, this is not gonna last. Like, there's no way that lasts. Like, how do you come back from that realization? Because like, there is a sense of just like, oh, like, you see these people again, which I presume this person is gonna see his wife's friends again. Like, there is gonna be that internal like, oh, like, they've seen me in this very intimate situation. So like, how do you even allow that relationship to go anywhere outside of just like high and high? - It would be really hard to get that trust back. - When you said, dear, in the headlights also, I thought that this was gonna turn into, and not saying this is an excuse, but I thought this is gonna turn into, she was like, what? - Black doubt. - Like, black doubt. - Black doubt, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can, I think that a part of me could possibly get past that if it was like a mistake, and you're realizing how fucked up that is, but if it's not that, and you're also not apologizing, like, that's the part that I think results in divorce from me. It's like, I'm telling you that I feel violated, and you just like, don't agree. Like, you don't get to not agree. - No, like, these are my feelings, they're valid, and you're not even acknowledging them, you're just trying to fuck me again. - Yeah, and it's like, that, I'm not gonna be able to get past, then it's like, no, it's a wrap now. - No, top comment. You need to ask her if she thought it would be okay if you showed this X-tapes to your drunk friends. She violated your trust in the worst way. I'm not saying break up with her, but I damn sure wouldn't record any more videos. - Yeah, I would do a sweep of that room, like, you're in the CIA. Make sure that there's no fucking listening or video devices anywhere. - Also, the cloud? - I would delete 'em. I think it's time to delete 'em. - You just clearly can't handle this privilege of having these, so bye-bye. - She also do the classic burn barrel behind the apartment, just throw it in and be so dramatic about it. - Doing this on the cloud too, you're playing with fire. - The cloud gets over, yeah. - I feel like there's been a lot of celebrities that have been held hostage over there. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. - It's so horrible. Yeah, bye-bye cloud, delete, delete, delete, empty trash bin, whatever you gotta do. - She's got some stuff going on. She has a weird relationship with her sexuality, I would say. - Or just needing approval from her friends, more of an insecurity thing. - Yeah, well, I guess there are a lot of sex, like she's using it as a way to get her way, and then she's using it to give validation from these people, like, she's got problems. - I also don't get the logic of like, what are you showing? Like, what is in there that you are showing? Like, how did the conversation get to a point where just like, well, we do this and they're like, no way, and it's like, let me show you that, we do this. - Yeah, I mean, like, I've talked about a position in the past, like, on this podcast, and I drew like, stick figures to like, explain it. So I could imagine them having a conversation and like, getting there. But to then like, show them the videos, that's too far. - I also, yeah, I also think that like, it's totally fine for, I mean, it really depends on the intention. Like, I do think that people talking about their sexual experiences with their partners, especially when you're married, is like, maybe a little like taboo, but if it's like your best friends and you need someone to confide in, so the intention is like, you know, like you're trying to get information and you're trying to whatever. If you're just trying to like, flex, and it's just something you talk about, I think that's a little weird. - Yeah. - Like, I think that's strange to do. - Yeah. - But if you're gonna do that, I shouldn't know, dude. I don't wanna know if your friend knows things about me. - Yeah. - Different girls' house, like, during another girls' night, but like, the fact he's downstairs. - Yeah. - This is in your home. - Do you think there was any part of her that like, wanted him to find out to see like, how far she can push the boundaries of it? - I don't know, like, what was she hoping, was she hoping it, like, then turned into him, coming upstairs and something happening? Like, - I think it was just a lack of thought. Like, it's just, I'm thinking about me in this moment. I'm not thinking about the guys, you know. Is there an update? - No update. - Well, how long ago was this posted? - Three years. - Oh, they're done, they're done. - Maybe, O.P. could be out there listening right now. We could get an update after this episode. - We don't know. - I don't know. Careful asking that, because they might just like, send an update with like an image file. And you're just like, I don't know, mine. (laughs) - Yeah, it'd be weird. - I don't get a lot of those. You guys must get some interesting-- - No. - I don't get them, honestly. - No. - Not that I'm aware of, yeah I know. - I just want an update from this username. It's got to come from this username too. I feel like I wouldn't believe it if it didn't come from this account 'cause then you're like, you just made a fake account to mess with us. But yeah, well. - What was the username again? - Throw away tapes. - Well, I think, it sounds like they started an LLC. It sounds like they were on track to go a certain route with this story. - Well, that's kind of how red it, if you don't want something tied to your main account, you're supposed to create a throw away account. Like this is, it's reddit etiquette. - Okay, reddit etiquette. Come on, it's right there, it's right there. - Yeah, you're quicker than me. I don't know. Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just clump, dewey hydrated skin. - Okay, moving on to this next one. Coming from our slash relationship advice. - Mosh. - Titled, "My 32 female fiance 37 male is a homicide detective." And I'm starting to feel like he treats me more like a suspect than a partner. - Before this gets bad and like we have to say that this is not good, this is funny. Like before it gets like scary. It's being like, "Uh, do me a favor. Let me know where you were Saturday, 3PM, 1501." - What's your alibi? - Yeah. - My fiance and I have been together for almost four years. He's a homicide detective. My friends immediately started siding me. They said, "Don't date a cop. It's not worth it. They're all bad, et cetera." None of them have ever actually dated a cop. So I found their opinions more annoying than anything else. I just felt like they were basing their judgment off of a stereotype. My mom said similar things, but she dated a cop who was a former military guy with PTSD like 49 years ago and based everything off of that. Lately though, a few things have started to bother me. I don't know if it's just that these incidents seem to be more frequent or if I was just willfully blind to it before. I'm just bothered by these things now. He records our arguments. I've known about that for a while. He told me it was, quote, "To make sure we remember things correctly and communicate better." And I believed him at first. I didn't like it and I thought it was petty and stupid. I asked him if he saved the recordings and he said he deletes them once the argument was resolved. I have since found a folder on his computer labeled with dates and times and their recordings of arguments or other conversations we've had going back over a year. He notices tiny changes in my behavior and asks questions in a way that feels more like an interrogation than concern. I also recently discovered he's done background checks on some of my friends and coworkers. Sometimes his phone buzzes and he steps out for hours without explanation. But he just says he's handling work stuff whenever I ask. He makes cryptic comments like, quote, "You know I only trust what I can verify." Or quote, "I like to know everything that might matter when it comes to things just between us even, not strictly talking about work." And then he laughs it off, but the word stick. It's hard to tell when he's joking and when he's serious. I love him, but sometimes I feel like he's treating me like I'm some sort of suspect. He doesn't seem to trust anyone, including me. Every little disagreement feels like it could be evidence. Recently, he's made some comments related to having kids about having a tracker on them at all times. He said he'll never let his kids spend the night at somebody else's house, and that he'll do background checks on every parent of our kids, friends, and teachers. I feel like those sort of comments are becoming more frequent and it's just escalating. How do I handle this with him? How do I discuss this in a way that won't jump into a dumb argument that he inevitably records for no good reason? I honestly don't know how to bring this up to him. I've considered telling him he needs therapy because he cannot continue to live life so suspicious and paranoid about everything and everyone. I'm pretty sure he'll refuse that. - Boy, what was that book you said that you was your favorite book, psychopathic? - Yeah, this person sounds like they're more of the, you know, like the calls coming from inside the house type of thing. He's a homicide detective, but it sounds like he might have a little couple screws loose. - Is it giving Dexter? - No, Dexter don't talk bad about Dexter. He has morals, he's got a code, he's got a code. No, this definitely sounds like there are parts of it that honestly, like when it gets into the whole like, I'm gonna track my kids, they're not going to anyone's house, like as a parent, like I have said things like that and like just in today's society, like there are forms of like tracking and apps for that stuff. So like that part of it doesn't feel-- - I'm kind of with it. - Yeah, like that doesn't feel wrong. - I know sleepovers, I'm also-- - Oh my God, yeah, I mean we've not, so far I could say as a parent, we've not done any sleepovers, but like the idea of like, either my kid going somewhere else, I won't sleep, or kids sleeping at my house that are not my kids, I gotta be responsible for other kids, you know? But like that part of it doesn't sound that ridiculous, but like the whole, like rewarding, background checks and friends and co-workers though. Honestly, if I was a cop, I kind of think I would do that. - Really? - That's wild. - You don't think so? - It just feels like such an invasion. Like background check, you get everything from like, they're dead, like, you get a lot of stuff. - I mean, there are certain things, like they're looking like, like you're gonna tell me if your partner has a coworker and they're like, you know what, they're actually a little weird, like they kind of make like passing comments that are a little strange. You don't have that context though. - I know, but I'm saying though, like, this is a guy that is clearly very, like because of his line of work, very paranoid. - Yeah. - I'm not justifying it, but in that regard, I don't think that's the issue, the background checks. I think the recording of the arguments, lying about keeping them afterward, like, that sounds a little strange because I can almost imagine this person in that argument is being very aggressive and like, I'm right, you're wrong. And it's like, why are you watching that back? Like, that's a weird, that's a weird power thing for me. - It would really piss me off if I was like having a fight with my partner too. And he's like, actually, no, no, let's roll the tape. And he like backs it up and it's like, I didn't say you were a bitch. I said, you were acting like a bitch. Like, you know, it's like scum antics, but it's like, I'm gonna prove to you exactly what I said. And it's like, but this is how I took it anyways. - I'm kind of reading this in a different way. Like, you guys use the word suspicious and paranoid. Like, I don't really see it as that. I see it as like narcissistic, because if you are paranoid or suspicious, then these things, you can get answers for these things. Someone who is paranoid is constantly having a conversation with you about, you know, what do we got to do about it? You just doing things, but against people's will, behind their back and saying it's for the greater good and the thing that we're supposed to do is a narcissistic thing to do. And I don't care that you're a homicide detective or whatever. Like, if you know what's best or whatever, you're violating me by not including me on these decisions and treating me like a child and think that like, why am I not part of the conversation where if you want to do a background check on someone that I know or someone that I'm spending time with, we should at least have a precursor conversation as to why you're suspicious. But if that's just how you're going to treat my relationships, that's a little crazy to be like, I can't have friends now unless you approve unless they meet the criteria that you decide. Like, you're not the end all be all in my life and you trying to take away my autonomy and before the kids are born, you're like, we're gonna put trackers on them, we're gonna, whatever. Like, and I get it, like the sleepover thing, like I get, you know, being like worried about that sort of thing, but even those things are like, decisions you make as a unit. It's not you making this. You know, so this dude to me is just, you know, he needs to be the one in control. He doesn't really respect this woman clearly, in my opinion, 'cause it's like, I'm just gonna do whatever the fuck I want and I'm gonna record whatever and we're gonna go back to it. Also thought it was interesting when you were like, he deletes them once they're resolved. So you decide what exactly, yeah. Once you believe it or good, then you get rid of them. But he's also lying because he's not deleting all of them if he's got a folder that has stuff for the poster here. So if he has it and he feels I can use it, then like, then he can use it. Oh, you know what? Let me hold on to that one. He's almost banking on it coming back up. But he deletes the ones that he comes out looking wrong. Good. Like, if he looks wrong. Yeah, exactly. The ones where he's probably, exactly. It's a power dynamic. Why are you watching those back? The ones where he is like controlling it. I was right. He's keeping those to reference those. But the ones where he, and I'm not saying that this person is like that stubborn. I can almost imagine that that's what is going on. But like, if they are like retroactively proven wrong or something like that, he'll delete those. You know, this is like not a joke here. Concerning behavior. Yeah. Like, this is scarily concerning. Yeah. And I don't want to do like the blanket like don't date cops because I'm sure, like we know people that are cops that, to my knowledge, don't do this. But like, there's, there's some other stuff there. Yeah. I think that's what we're noticing with all these stories. There's other stuff. they're layers like an onion. And that's why we're here to peel back each layer. It's exactly why I called it you in. I need a backup. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, this does sound slightly psychopathic too. Yeah. Top comment. This is how you want to live the rest of your life. Question mark. Yeah. Like that's it. Like literally. There is another comment that says, "So he's controlling and suspicious, which are precursors for coercive control and abuse." And OP responds and says, "I wouldn't say he's controlling." But his actions are. He's definitely controlling. He's just giving control. It's not like a direct control. He's giving control. It's certainly giving control. He's giving to everyone. It's funny. You know how some people, when people learn abusive relationships, a lot of people are like, "Why don't you just leave? It's very obvious," or whatever, because of stuff like this where it doesn't take form in a way where it's so direct. And it sounds like controlling people tell you things you can't wear when you can like go out and these like, it doesn't only exist in that way. So this is more of like a subtle way, even though it doesn't really come across a subtle to us. But it's a more of a subtle way, I guess, when you're in that relationship to realize I am being controlled. Like this guy is saying that his word and his decisions are always right and the standard. And if I'm not meeting those, then because he's a cop or because he's a homicide detective or whatever, then he knows everything. And that's just not what it is, especially in a relationship. It's more of like a collaborative effort. And if you're going to violate that part of it, then you don't have a relationship. Like, I am your child then in your eyes. Yeah. You're making every decision for me. Like it's not really a relationship. No. No. And you see why he's been there? I know. I was like, in my head, I was like, holy shit. This is crucial. Just in tune and healed. And like, you're just picking up such subtlety is he's giving healed. It's so good. This guy's giving psycho. I'm giving you. It's so good. I mean, I think you, you're on it too when you say like, it's not always easy to identify control. Because I think the examples you gave, like, you're not wearing that. Everyone would be like, you're not going to tell me what to do. Right. But this is controlling another font. And a lot of people pick up on it. But OP, not picking up on it. Like someone goes, holy shit. Why would you want to stay with this unhinged person? And OP responds unhinged. I mean, maybe if he worked in a completely different kind of work, I kind of feel like I understand where most of it comes from, though, at least. That's not really an excuse, though. Yeah. Seems like she's doing the work to defend him when continuously defending him. She's been successfully cast into thinking. Like if someone is a homicide detective and you just say like, okay, so whatever you say about this thing is what it is. And all your suspicions and all your whatever, like I have to just submit to that because you're a homicide detective. No matter what for anybody out there in a relationship or even not in a relationship, your gut and your intuition still counts for something. Of course. Especially in a relationship because it's like, we're in a thing together. So you can have your suspicions and those can be based in like your experience and your job. But that doesn't mean that my intuition counts for nothing. And she's relinquishing that completely because it's like, well, he's a cop. I know where it's coming from. We can know where it's coming from. That doesn't mean that that's how it should be. I know. And she just keeps going to bat, like for him again and again, like almost like against her gut. And it's like, you're the one that wrote this in. You're the one that said on TikTok too. Like when you post videos of their husband being weird and do something. No, but he's actually like he's the blah, blah, blah. And it's like TikTok goes both ways with these things where sometimes a woman will post like a very, in my opinion, like a non-issue, you know, and like just like a funny thing. And the comments would be like, you need to leave. I mean, this is a side of a bigger thing. You're going nuts now. And it's one video. But there are very clear videos where a guy has done something. And it's like, you know, like I was giving birth and he was playing video games and then he fell asleep. And I was trying to, you know, whatever. And like, you know, you hear those stories at the time. But when when it comes to another level and it becomes like no apology, no empathy, no whatever. And a woman is displaying that about her husband. You can't really fault the comments for being like, hey, I realize this is one video. So we don't have all the contacts. But like these are bad. Yeah. And you wouldn't I also don't understand why you would post that anyway. Like, did you see the pumpkin patch one? No. This lady was like pumpkin. I love pumpkins. I know. It was like such a wholesome activity to go with for your kids. And I'm like forgetting the exact video. But she was just like, I don't understand why he just like can't go to the pumpkin patch and be happy one day. And it's literally her. The kids in the car. And he like literally just starts screaming. Like, I don't want to go to the fucking pumpkin patch. She posted it. And it's like. Yeah. Those are people that are that are that are that are looking for help but don't want to like outwardly admit that they're looking for help in that regard. That's what I think at least like because the comments will be, you know, like listen, you need to you need to and then like they're like trying to defend it. But like it's it's kind of almost a cry for help from my perspective. But yeah. Or it's just like in their gut. They think, oh yeah, this isn't right. And they post it like trying to like have people come forward and like reassure them like, Oh, yeah, I know that's fucked up. But then why defend them in the comments? That's the defending in the comments is crazy to me because it's like, what did you expect? I think that I mean, personally, I believe that like people who post stuff like that are some of them rather are not realizing what the end result is actually going to be. Like I think in the moment, a lot of people are very quick to post about their personal life and their relationship, especially when there's kids involved and, you know, the dynamic there. And I think immediately it's like, I want pity. I want to be validated in that. I think this is a little crazy. But then you don't want it to go too far where people are going to be like, Hey, this is actually like horrible. Like I don't want you to put up a mirror and show me what my life is. I just want you to tell me that I'm validated in being upset about this. But then once it becomes like, no, there's bigger issues that play here. It's like, all right. People try to do the whole like, this is relatable. This will be funny. And then people are just like, whoa, oh, like this is this is something bigger. Yeah. And then they then they have to get defensive of all that. Yeah. I also think a good rule of thumb for people out there that are in relationships and married with kids and stuff. The notion of women are emotional and men don't really give a shit about activities like the pumpkin patch and whatever is corny. Like that to me is so corny. And I realized that it exists in the world. But like to me, like, I would not want to like associate with someone who's like, oh, my, my, you know how wives are the fucking they're all bitches. And you're like, this is corny. Yeah. So posting that online and like perpetuating that even as a joke because also a lot of that content is fucking fake. So like perpetuating that to me is like ultra corny. I'm like, oh, it's the guy he doesn't care. And the woman, she cares so much about the little things. And I'm, and I'm the guy who doesn't do the dish. Like, to me, that's just corny shit. It's like not accurate. My husband is way, way more thoughtful. And like those little details and like, he's way better than me about that. Yeah. Like it's not, it's super, it's so stupid. The Costco video really pissed me off. That's one. That's one was the Costco video. That's dude going around asking all these men, how much fun do you have at Costco with your wife? And all these guys were like negative 10. Yeah. Yeah. So that's a corny. So when we were in actually last year, when we were, well, two years ago, we were in LA. Do you remember this story? The guy that came up to me. Oh, yeah. We were, we were walking down the street in LA and some guy came up, it comes up to me and he goes, Hey, I recognize you. Do you, do you want to, I do this show? I like interview people on the street. Do you want to do it? And I was like, sure, what do you want to ask about? And he's like, well, I'm going to ask you a couple questions. It'll be super quick. And we'll take five minutes of your time. And I'm like, all right, what do you get asked? I'm scared. And the first question he goes, well, I'm going to ask, you know, what do you think is a better investment? Crypto or gold? And I was like, dude, I don't know that. And I'm not going to answer that because I'm not going to give advice. And then I was like, what's next? He goes, all right. My second question is, why do you think women don't respect men? And I was like, get the fuck out of here. I'm like, dude, get out of here because there is like, there's a, there's a sect of the internet now that is like gravitating toward that side where it's just like these hyper masculine, you know, guys that are just like, yeah, you know what? Absolutely. So when shit like that, you know, they post shit like that. It has the effect of like, reeling people into that side of the argument. And like, it is corny. I think like, that's the best way to describe it is like, it's just corny and stupid and like, very immature. I haven't heard the word corny in a while. And I really like it. Dude, growing up in New York, is that a herb or corny? It was like the worst things because it's such a under, you never heard that one? No. Like someone that does something that's just like, like, it's like overly corny is like, you're a herb. Like, you're not a real person. You're doing something just for reactions or like, just to get attention on you. Like, to me, like the Costco video, for instance, right? Like, you're walking around and you know, this is why I find it so corny is because if someone comes up to you at Costco and they have a camera and they're asking you like, how much fun do you have with your wife at Costco? You have a decision, because you know you know what he's asking it's a loaded question so you know what is, you know, what he's looking for. - Yeah, exactly. - And to me, your corny, if you're not gonna be yourself, like if you're just gonna say the thing that is going to satisfy the other in-tells that are watching this, like that's corny. Like, why is that the crowd that you want to impress? And then the other end of it is they've also taken like the people that are just like, no, I love hanging out with my wife. I have so much fun. - They do have another video. - Simp, loser, and it's like completely edited out. - Yeah, like what are you, like, I know. - It's so, it is, I think that's the best way to describe it. It's corny, it's stupid, and it is the worst parts of the internet. - Well, it's like, who are you saying it for? 'Cause it doesn't make your wife feel good. Someone you seemingly care about enough to spend the rest of your life with her. - And then you, like, or whatever. But like, who are you doing it for? Are you doing it for the guys? - You're doing it definitely in that video. - And that's what it is, you're watching. - And like, 'cause you think that there's this like, underlying culture of just like boys have to hate their wives, you know, like, and it's like, you're not doing this for any reason other than just like trying to be cool to people that like, don't give a fuck about you. - They wouldn't know if you died tomorrow. - Exactly. So like, be cool on your own home. - I know, I'm with you. OP kinda just defends them in the comments. A lot of people are like, you wanna deal with this the rest of your life. He's controlling blah, blah, blah, blah. OP does share that she basically had to give him an ultimatum regarding their relationship and getting engaged. So she kind of like, gave him an ultimatum to propose. And so she says, so he didn't seem desperate to ensnare me. - First of all, it's snare is bananas. - I've been watching a Harry Potter. - He was like, what first in snare? - In snare. - She's like, wild game. - Yeah. - Like a rabbit running through the forest. I think, I mean, if she had to give an, I feel like if you have to give someone an ultimatum, it's already over. Like you're basically just like clinging your life at that time. So. - I think there's a difference between like a conversation or like a line and like, are we on the same timeline? Like what are we thinking versus a true? Like if you don't propose to me today, we're done. Like and I think some people even look at the conversation and just like kind of having boundaries and like timeline being on the same page, they look at that as an ultimatum even. And it's like, I think that we gotta clear up what. - I think when it comes to that, I think an ultimatum is only like a short term thing. Because like you said, as the woman traditionally, you are being proposed to. So speak from the perspective of a woman, doc. You were I'm saying is like, as the woman, you have an expectation of like this person is going to propose to me. So I'm kind of waiting around for that. However, you have your own timeline. So there is this ultimatum if we're being dramatic of like, hey, you know, if we've been dating for this many years, if we don't get engaged within the next year and a half or something, then I'm going to move on with my life because it feels like this isn't going to go anywhere. Like that doesn't, to me, doesn't feel like an actual ultimatum. It's more of like, I have to stick up for myself here. - Yeah. - But if it's like, you know, if we don't get engaged by Q1. - Yeah. Exactly. - Then it's like, all right. I gotta rush and do all the things. - If you put, because then if you're asking, then it's like, you're going to have on the back end, you're just going to have the opinion of like, the only reason it's happening now is because I gave them this pressure. - Yeah. - And like, if that's okay and you want to live with that, that's your thing. But. - I know, what is that, a sympathy ring or what's that term? - Well, I think people like that are not really interested in the emotional aspect of it all anyway. - Yeah, exactly. - It's more of just like for show, like I need to, I need you to propose to me so that I don't look crazy now. Like people are going to expect me to be proposed and now people can be like, you've been with me for this long, you don't have a ring, like what's the deal with that? I just don't have the answer for that and I don't have to deal with the actual like, emotional reason why I'm still with you. So just give me the ring so I could like pretend. - So we get an update on this one. - Oh boy. - I mean, we've been getting updates the whole time. How much worse can it get? - It can get worse, right? - He killed her. Don't do that. - I think a good starting point would be for me to admit that I do believe my fiance is a good man. He's not cruel, he's not aggressive or violent. And he believes with all of his heart that he's right most of the time. Of course, I realize a lot of people were pretty negative and their comments towards me in response to my original post and a part of me wants to thank you all for your concern. But another part of me wonders if part of this negative response is simply because of the nature of his job. After sitting on all of this for a few days, I decided I couldn't put off this conversation anymore. I told him that we have to talk and this isn't about winning an argument. I began with the recordings. I told him I knew he had been stockpiling arguments with our friends going all the way back a year ago and how it makes me feel violated and threatened. He did not deny this. He explained to me why he holds them in case things ever get twisted and for protecting himself. To hear my fiance speak of our relationship in a way that implies he considers our life a potential lawsuit threatened me. When I mentioned this style of questioning me and observing small shifts in my behavior, he explained that this is simply how his brain works. And that given all he's observed in his work, he simply can't shut it off. He explained to me that pointing out details doesn't mean that he believes I'm doing anything incorrect. It's simply that he likes to verify rather than assume. He told me most detectives, girlfriends, simply get used to it. Leaving me to wonder if this is a common fact or simply defends people make when they're in fact engaging in poor behavior. The background checks on my friends and colleagues escalated into a bigger problem. He confessed to doing them and stated definitely he would do the same on people in relation to our future kids. He did not think it was an invasion of privacy, but rather just being informed. The talk of children was most sobering. He doubled down on trackers, no sleepovers, and careful screening of every adult in their life. When I called this controlling, he said, healthy doesn't matter if they're safe. That phrase stuck in my head since. I asked him if he trusted me. He paused for a very long time before answering me. He finally said that he trusts me as much as he trusts anyone else. I think he did not realize how unnerving that answer was. I just want to know where his limits are. I asked him what would happen if we broke up. He said he would never do anything illegal, but that he thinks a man must take care of himself all the time. What's that supposed to even mean? I've asked for some space and I'm currently staying with family. He didn't appear angry. And I really thought he would get an attitude about it and accuse me of being dramatic. He acted very coldly and matter of fact about it. While I'm not putting an end to our engagement just yet, I'm definitely considering everything. As much as I love him and think he genuinely wants to do good in our relationship, I don't want a life where I'm observed, recorded and assessed rather than being in a relationship where I have someone's support. - I think that this happens a lot in relationships, too, that this guy clearly doesn't respect her. Like it's just a lack of respect. Like if you, these are like not little things. These are big things. You know, this is the way that we're gonna raise our children. This is the way that our relationship is going. And you're not even really understanding me from an emotional standpoint. You're just looking at everything very black and white and linear and just kind of like, yeah, I understand. And you know, there's not really even an understanding. It's yes, I did that. I think that this is the right course of action and whatever. But that's just not what a relationship in life looks like. It's not a lawsuit, it isn't black and white. Like it is emotional. - I know. And I would be really offended if my husband, even boyfriend at the time, engaged partner, whatever, like any level, if he looked at me and said, yeah, trust you about the same level as everyone else. - Yeah. - Don't you trust me more? - He doesn't respect her. - I also think that this person clearly thinks that they're the center of the universe. And like they have an issue relinquishing, you know, control to any capacity. So it's like, they are like in the state of like, I'm going to control it all. I'm going to do it all. They clearly have a warped mentality of like, what masculinity is? Like a man should always take care of himself first. And it's like, again, what does that mean? - Yeah, I mean, there's certain people, like you come across people in your life that you're like, no matter what you do, you can't do anything to change them. They're just, unfortunately, every ass has a seat. There will be someone that will, you know, be more open to this person's lifestyle. It just sounds like this Reddit OP got the term. - There you go. - It's just not, it's just not that person. And you're clearly, for lack of better terms, excuse the pun, you're dodging a bullet here. Because if the control, if you think that at any point, if and when you were to have a family and children and like incorporate that aspect of life into your relationship, if you think that like, they're going to then relinquish control, you are severely mistaken. You know, I don't, I know you don't have, I don't know if you, this person has friends or family in their life that has children, but like that's a part of life when like, you need to be a team, you need to be a unit, you need to be making decisions. And also you need, I can't understand the mentality of just like, I have it all figured out, but they have things figured out about a part of life that they have no experience with. So like, unfortunately for OP, like it is only going to get worse if they continue life because there are so many aspects of like that they haven't even challenges, they haven't hurtled yet or even approached that it doesn't seem like everything they've learned about this person that they're going to be able to do it as a unit, he is going to try to do it himself and then fall back on the whole like, well, it's because I know best. It's someone who's probably like violently insecure, Can't relinquish control. And this person is better off with someone like the next person that comes around if they decide to like break the engagement off Is going to be like so the opposite end of the spectrum. Yeah, and then hindsight will be 2020 and they'll see like oh shit Like I was bad. That was really bad. Yeah. Yeah, if you're in a relationship like this You're gonna spend the rest of your life You know trying to just win your partner's approval, which is not how a relationship should be and then he'll never be wrong He's never trying to win you're Yeah, no, he's never respect you. He doesn't trust you clearly. He said it. So she's doing the work for the relationship I know like I don't know if I said it about this one or another one This this sounds like a cry for help, you know, and like she's doing the one where she's like no defending him above about like She's the one that's trying to make it all work and he's just like no. I will stand by I think that you know like the whole thing about like Being extra careful about who your kids are bringing around I as a parent like I get it to a degree This guy has access to a lot more resources. So like I'm not gonna sit there and say like I am a hundred percent on his side. Yeah, but Your mind does get a little barbaric and crazy when you have children because now there's some good points and like that is like there is A sense of like the world is scary like when you have kids you want to keep them close because the outside world is what scary So like there are points where you've probably thought as a parent some crazy things, you know, but You also don't have the resources to do those things, you know, and and if this is someone that is this. I don't want to use the term on hinge lightly, but like Just a little nuts then I agree. I mean I I think there's some blinders on right now and like some of his points completely valid But again, just a little too far and that is kind of the resources, but it's like What's this there's like a quote? It's like the power quote. It's maybe it's from like spider-man or something where it's like Please don't quote spider-man unless you're gonna have me do it correctly, but like you know the one with the power. It's like Great power comes great response. Well close close close close. Ironman. What's it from? Oh, I don't see? I'm gonna scream into the microphone. What is it? Say it please? It's with great power must also come great responsibility Uncle Ben spider-man Okay, I knew where it came from though. That's crazy. Good job, but that's you know He's got a real it in and have you know the responsibilities side of it. Yeah I also don't want to just start like loosely throwing around the term of like abuse but like someone that has a little more Understanding of that world might be able to look at this under a different scope and say like This is potentially dangerous because Again, she's doing the work to be like no, no, no, no, no, everything's okay. And then yeah, I mean, it's absolutely abuse Like it's I mean, it seems like it's not a professional. Well, we'll let them try men. We'll see we'll wait for them in the comments You think I'll see it or you're listening our listeners. Yeah, we've got a lot of um psychologist T's like a lot of therapists so on some of the stories we'll get like their takes I love when like our lawyers chime in on legal stories like we have a good community that comments But this post is the update is from December 15th 2025. So just a few weeks ago. Oh my so I could see us getting another update eventually Gotta get some internet salutes to like check exactly some homicide detectives in the country exactly Let's see who maybe we can find him and like yeah, maybe don't open that One last one to just like send us off on a good foot in a good mood. Okay, love and put I'm gonna say love going off on a good on a good note, but like I said love foot. He loves feet No, don't start that. Let's make that very clear You're the one that wants to make a foot statue I'm trying to give him business advice, which is a very sought after First customer you want to try it. No, I don't do that This one is titled me 19 female with a guy. I'm seeing 20 male three dates. He only wears the same shirt Hold on is that it? No, okay, I'll let you finish Hey, reddit, so I've been seen this guy. We met through a work friend So we weren't friends before anything like that. He's really great attractive. Hasn't a his job. He's funny considerate a plus I really like him. We texted a little bit before our first date I said that I'd really like a casual date when I get to the restaurant. He's wearing a Where's the beef shirt fire stop? I thought it was hilarious. I loved it Second date we go bowling. It was adorable. I'm terrible at it, but I do love bowling He's terrible too. So we used the bumpers. Kids were making fun of us, but it was really great He's wearing the same shirt again. I Assumed it was because I thought it was so funny on the first date Third date. He's making me dinner at his place. I get there. It's the same shirt Two weeks has gone by since the first date. I ask him if it's a running joke or if it was just a coincidence He shows me his closet Every single shirt Every single one that read where's the beef? He opens a drawer even more of them exactly the same He says the ones in the drawer are a size bigger for around the house and sleeping in he has a lot of them Probably about 20, but I'm not sure 20 I asked why and he said he just really likes that shirt. Yeah, I was really weirded out But we had dinner and then I left. I called my friends who introduced us. He said, oh, yeah, he always wears that shirt I thought I told you that. No, you did fucking not Read it. What do I do? I really like this guy But I don't know if I want to start something with a guy that dresses like a cartoon character. What would you do? Help? See this is tough. I think There's two routes to go obviously That not being into it and saying like listen No, thank you. I just want to see other people. You don't necessarily need to give a reason why or triple down Show up to his place with a boom box outside of his window wearing a what's the beef shirt? Uh-huh and just be you know There you go. There you go. You know sign of romance. So then you're just fully in now fully in on the beef. Where's the beef family? Oh Man, this is you know what's funny is I think I feel like we know someone that would do something like this where they just have the same shirt over and over and over again I don't even know who you're thinking. This is such a college-coded thing where like their whole personality is just like Quippy graphic tees and stuff like that which as a reformed graphic t-shirt wearer Reformed I feel like I can understand that I didn't know what was going on like you're just gonna get a gun. She's going to get it Stop Wait, is this the shirt? First of all the fact that it's yellow makes this a hundred times. Well, isn't it from a Wendy's commercial from like the 80s? Is that what it is? I believe it was like the commercial was like an old woman or was it Wendy's or first of all if you're a fast food company and you have to Have a thing that says where's the beef? Problem should be right there in your You should have to look hard to find the beef. Yeah, this is incredible Thank you and I swear to God if I feel like if you walk into someone's house and they have 30 shirts 30 of those where's the beef yellow shirts in general So I think in this story it there's some context that it's red with yellow writing not much better Not much better. It is better, but not much. I think that like if you actually wanted to date this guy I'd be like, dude You're not gonna let this go like it's time. Yeah. Is it a bet re-bullied as a kid? Someone comments that there's something there someone goes what if he was traumatized as a child by a different shirt We just don't know Yeah, I mean we don't do we have information on what like if he's just as like yeah, I just like them. There's clearly like His like fraternity like made a bet like listen dude wear the shirt Until she realizes it and then once she does you have the amount of dates you have to drink that many bushlights and just absolutely Rage hard at the next formal. Dude 20 shirts of the same shirt. Mm-hmm. That's not even necessary. Also Can I it's a month for a sec? He doesn't want to run out. You know, he's conservative with laundry for a second. Okay. Okay I think that one of the things that could be taken from this Uh, what was the red thread on this? Is it a listener? Do we know it is coming from our slash relationships? Okay It's 10 years old now 10 years old first of all this was prime like people doing things just to get be quirky on the internet Yeah, which I guess still happens uh to If nothing else This shows that this person is committed. Mm-hmm. They're loyal. Oh where that loyalty is maybe today it's Place and where's the beef t-shirts maybe tomorrow it's placed in The relationship and then how beautiful let me do this. Let me let me let me go. I haven't said to her pulling tight. Please If you could just like place some like you know like sappy music. No, I mean You know one day There will come a time where he finally takes that where's the beef shirt off And it'll be a moment a stepping stone in that relationship O.P. If you're listening Do you want to be that moment? Do you want to to be the person that he takes off, the where's the beef shirt for? - Do you want to take that T-shirt off? - Rip it off. - Like how he wouldn't like that. He probably wouldn't like that at all. - He's got 19 more. It's okay. - Yeah, I mean. - You can get a little wild with one. - I don't, and I feel like there's. - You could donate these to him. - Yeah. - So then he's got 22. - I'm not 22, he doesn't need more. 20 shirts is like, how can that even be possible? Like that's one for 20 days. Do you wear the same shirt and not do laundry? - I kind of respect it, honestly. There's a level of dedication here that I am almost envious of. Like they can just commit to one shirt. If anything, it makes going out and, you know, figure out what to wear so much easier. - I panic every time I have to. - Yeah, what if you know, like I'm going out, where's the beef? I'm on an island here. I'm going out, where's the beef? Also, how is this appropriate in like every setting? - What was he wearing about wedding? Is he got a, where's the beef under the tux? - Probably, he works in IT. So he gets away with it for his job. - Oh, okay. - Very casual. Very casual. - Very casual, yeah. - Every day is where the, where's the beef? I feel like, you know, I understand why people can look at this and say like, "Eh, what? I think this is a man that just wants to be loved for his t-shirt collection." And yet something is getting in the way of that. - It's all there is to it. - It's ironic. Something is getting in the way of this love that you seek and it could be. - How can you look at this and not be in love with somebody? You gotta love someone inside and out from their, from the tip of their head, that's not of their head. Where is the tip of your head? - Some people have pointy heads. - Yes, they do. I guess technically the tip of the head would be a chin. - No, that's a chin. - That's not how that works. - Why? - It's technically the tip. - I feel like the tip is the top. - But the tip does not need to be at the top. That's the tipy top. Would you say the tip of a needle is the top of the needle? No, it's the bottom of the needle. What are we talking about? - Why? - A needle tip? It's not the bottom. - That's a plunger. The tip of the needle is where you put it into people. - No, because then they turn it upside down in order to use it properly. So that's the bottom. - You just said it turn it upside down. - Well, they hold it in a specific manner that for appropriate proper usage, which means technically when it is used properly, it is the bottom. - I feel like you're doing a lot of gymnastics to make that work for you. - I haven't noticed before. - Oh yeah, I am. I don't know, how would you even react if you like went to a dude's house and you just had like the same? You know what that reminds me of, we're in the movie Dodgeball, where he goes to her house and she's got all unicorns. And she's seemingly otherwise. It's like normal and you're getting like, what is going on here? - I mean, I would have asked on the third date. I'm very curious. So I'd have been like, what's the story? You got 20 people. - I would have asked on the first. The story. Well, you didn't know about like-- - No, because people were quick to get in. - Date number two. - Yeah, but I'd be like, where's the beef? - People have a shirt. - People have quirks. You guys are missing a full picture here. This person is beyond a quirk. If they are loyal to their shirt, - Maybe it's a kink. - They are going to be loyal. Maybe they keep it on when things get a little more intimate. - I am certain of that. (laughing) - And then there's an answer to where's the beef. You know what I'm saying? Like, it fits every part of life. - And here it is. - You're excited. - Where's the beef? - And here it is. - I'm excited for you to share in that glory with him. - Who am I sharing with, what? - You wear your shirt. - Yeah. - Oh, I mean, I will tell you this. I'm going to go home and my wife is going to be like, first question I have. - Where'd you get that? - Why the shirt? (laughing) Thank you for this. This was really kind. I know how, I'm going to give it a go. Should we wear it out of here? - Mm. (laughing) - Come on. - No, I'm just going to commit to just in my apartment at first just to try it out. - Okay. - And see if the beast takes over me. - It can also just be like a sleep shirt or literally a donation shirt that you just then feel really good about. - See, I am big on gifts. And I will hold this. - They're yelling at us. - We've got to go. - I know I'm sorry. Yeah, that's not good. - This will be forever in my home. This will get passed down to my grandchildren. - Holy shit. Where can people listen to you first? Like, thanks for coming on. - Thank you for having us. Yes, thank you so much for having us. - I'm so excited. - Where can people find you? - Oh, you can find us at the basement yard, YouTube and Spotify and wherever you find podcasts. - All over the place. - Everywhere. - Yeah. - All of their links will be in the description. Super easy to find. Amazing podcast, quirky, fun. There, you guys are quirky. - We're quirky. - Not like the shirt. - Like, like, like, like, 2009, Zodish and L. - I don't know for that question. - Yeah, I'm probably not. - Okay, okay. - But we're quirky. - Thank you both. - Thank you. - Until next time, guys. Bye. (upbeat music)