160: OCD Tingle with Yannis Pappas | Soder Podcast | EP 154

Hey everybody, I hope you enjoyed the podcast. I am still on the road through the end of the year got two big weekends I'm looking forward to November 5th through the 7th. I'm gonna be at Salt Lake wise guys Salt Lake City wise guys One of my favorite clubs in the country Easily pound for pound the best sound system at a comedy club. We're doing six shows there I'm bringing my buddy Tom the car. It'll be just November 5th through November 7th Salt Lake City wise guys go to DanSotter.com and then December 10th through the 12th I'll be at comedy at the Carlson in Rochester, New York DanSotter.com for all those dates. You can also go to PunchUp.live/DanSotter Sign up get put on the email list. So when I come to your city You will know that's the only reason we use those emails is just to let you know when I'm coming to your city So you can catch a live show also punch up We got the movie Watch Alongs and guess what got another one coming Stavros Stavros came by and we watched Cobra the Stallone classic Honestly, these movie Watch Alongs are fun as hell and we could put them up on PunchUp where you can watch the whole movie with us And it won't get stricken down. So go to punchup.live sign up And that Cobra one should be dropping around Thanksgiving, but thanks for watching the podcast. Hope you enjoy the episode. Hope you're good Thanks everybody This is like 2002, 2003 he's like Florida does the most fucked up shit or Germany So is it Germany or Florida and then they came up with a song. But Florida has Florida is just a wild place. You know why? I'm speaking for myself But it's the feeling of everything being tile Makes you feel like nothing sticks because you can just wash every tile so easy. I like that theory That's like if you're in a heavy if you're in like a cold area everything is like Like carpet and like fur and stuff, but like everything slides off everything in Florida. I like that theory Yeah, cuz like when I go down there I go like If I was like a real piece of shit I'd live down here with my shirt open. Yeah, and I just I wouldn't wear underwear. We should save it cuz that's funny Oh, no, we'll just roll it. Oh dog, right? Yeah, I'm letting you keep them off your glasses on the whole time Well, yeah, a lot of people think I'm wearing them because like it's cool inside, but on days like this they're my only prescription pair So I just hope it's sunny out That is what a risk that you have to take a risk so yesterday because I didn't go home last night I stayed in the city okay, you have the apartment in Brooklyn right so I stayed with my brother And so yes, it was real sunny so I threw them on and then you just hope when you wake up It's gonna be real sunny and if not you're just the dick and gloomy weather with sunglasses on or you're on my podcast Look like you're dropping a dime on the Gambino family. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You go. I was there the Gemini lounge was filled with murder Yeah, and I'll give you the names and the locations of the bodies. Yeah, because sunglasses inside is is a statement You just got it's like there's you got to figure out what statement it is can I tell you it's It's hangover most of the time for my friends But then now we're in an age of our career where it hit oh, they're famous enough to do that right Shane used to do that when he was hungover and then now I saw him do it one time and I went yeah, but he's kind of got to because Humans are so cute. He's sold out a football stadium crazy crazy. He's fucking filmed it. It's you there But I was just thinking about that. It's like you go to a fucking venue that size. It's so cool You're waiting to hear the music and then some guy comes out and goes like well, it's gonna. Hey, what are you waiting? What's going on the fact that Matt McCusker had to follow meek Mill. Yeah is insane And it's like first off. That's just we're gonna change gears a little bit. Yeah Hey guys, uh, we're gonna go from rapping to noticing stuff That's what comics do is we's got their notice stuff. Yeah, I thought it was awesome I you know if you were to told me that McCusker big J and Shane would be a show at Lincoln financial field with a ship hell drop it It's crazy, but ship hell apparently like didn't want to do much because all because the phones were Because there's no condoms on the phone. Oh, he couldn't yeah He couldn't dumb up the he couldn't dumb up the phones, but that's kid does not like raw daddy No, he here's the thing. I say I want your phone there. Yeah, I'm gonna stick it in I just want it wrong dude. The kid does not have the level of trust to have a social interaction raw daddy Does he think does do you think that ever comes back for him where he's not like completely paranoid about that? Um, cuz that feel like that would suck that you're like one of the greatest comics of all time But now you have like a phobia. Yeah. It's like a Howard Hughes phobia You know how he got all weird and put boxes on his feet and ship. Yeah, she pal's like Like you're just out to dinner with him. Yeah, is your phone out? Yeah, I can't have that out. Yeah, like freaking out Yeah, well all the truly funniest people have some sort of functioning mental illness It's just a variation in whatever we have some sort of neurosis or OCD I mean, I remember even Nate when we would you know, and we always bring him up just because he's a mutual friend of ours But he used to have these rituals that he would do in the car with a mountain dewball on the chute down a certain way He'd look in the mirror a certain way you even making that fucking noise brought me back to 2011 Yeah, yeah with Nate parking at Broadway comedy club and going He always the same Dude that's the same motion. He drives one foot for whatever reason. Were you OCD? One foot no, he drive he's a no, I'm sorry. He drives two feet. Did you know that he's a two-feet driver? Sorry, everyone's a one-foot drive. Yeah, I was like everyone's a world-foot drive. I thought you were giving yourself up No, he drives to he drives like a Goku drives like a go-kart. Yeah, he drives two feet What are you mashing in on the chorus? Yeah, he like he used to wear a piece of Vanderbilt He had this tradition. He had this OCD thing where he had to have one piece of Vanderbilt and now we see I mean he used to dress like the ball boy for Vanderbilt Yeah, like the one that can't live by himself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, where you go? Yeah, he it's crazy that like he's so involved with him now Yeah, like Vanderbilt because you know what it is. It's like a party kid's dream come true. Yeah And they like and you're also seeing that universities are so full of shit that you just have to get a lot of money Then they go like Hey come on in yeah, yeah when you were like when he was doing you know Hundred seeders and stuff. They're like, I don't know this kid just stands around the same good. Yeah, he goes on And do you remember when he went to the bowl game like 12 hours early? Yeah, and every late night set if you notice he does the Yeah, yeah, he does it finally they listened. Yeah, you know it is. It's like a really hot girl that wouldn't pay any attention to him And then Nate had a glow up and then they were just like She's like And they's like yeah, but were you all CD as a kid? No, I don't I don't the I don't have the OCD. I did I just have a weird ones. What was yours? I had to was it like when you were when the drug dealer was robbing your new friend Were you like wait before you steal the drug can you organize them correctly? Hey, I'm gonna need you to step on that again I'm gonna use the gun your head. You're like wait a second. Can you put it on the other side? Hey listen mr I need left side right-side signifies evil and he goes what's up with these white boys? I mean comedy is the only field I mean you're obviously what are the truly funny guys so comedy because I've noticed that the truly funny guys are a little fucked up Yeah, it's the only field where you can look at us and hear a story like that and then be like did that guy become a success? Oh, you're going like he's got to be a comedian Well, I know the field you're gonna talk about a guy with a salamander tattoo sitting in Arizona who's some fucking You know who's who's getting a hand job from a guy in a from a girl in a Pontiac phoenix on a fucking road stop listening to music and cassettes Yeah, drop it out of college and you're like people are paying here with that guy's got to say crazy crazy I remember some good ones, right? Yeah, that's true. Oh, it was a bear paw that I got covered up It's that's 10 tonight. Thanks. My friend Keith for just over. Take a peek at him. It's pretty bad. Can I take a peek? I'll show you my all right. I only had 50 bucks. What is it a chain link? It's one link Were you gonna get it all the way around I only had 50 bucks? 50 bucks only got one wing. Yeah, so now it looks like a cancer scar. Oh my god. It looks like a bear trap And then I got this one, which is a chick tattoo. What is it? It's Chinese for what? Chinese scripting for respect Now now I want all of our friends from the far east to take a look at this From all of our friends. Is that respect? Yeah, or is it dumb American or does it mean just like tab? Yeah? Or it means like something or you know that hurts So take come on. You got a shot. I was a bear claw. Oh, yeah, let's go see the chili peppers He's Dave Matthews man, baby, and then it's a tree That he like covered it up, but he just covered it up because I had tribal around it. I that's where I that's where we left off Yeah, so this is new. Oh, no, I've had this for like over 10 years really. Yeah So I guess I just had you haven't shown your arm. You don't you're not really a show arm kind of frame. No, you know I remember doing the marisa video and I took my shirt off and Louis cats just a lot of lilies are my best friends is he just goes It's really disappointed in your torso Just said that while we're at the basketball courts, and I was like, damn, do you guys put my shirt back on? If I can literally fucking do back to me dude There's something about uh, like the way Jewish guys can be honest with like no chaser Like that. It's like it's like mezcal. Right. We go. Oh, yeah, bird. Yeah. Oh, look at your torso. I know I was like, fuck you dude, so no, I'm not an arm's alky, but they're very honest unless they're talking about, um, the Palestinians being the sole aggressor. Like I think there's, I think there's a way to go around, maybe there was a push before there was a push that I saw, I saw push, there could be a push in that a push, I saw, I don't know. I don't know. It's like the scene and go for us. No, you did, you did a little, you disrespect him a little, yeah, yeah, yeah, disrespecting him a little, uh, a little bit, a little bit, um, but yeah, dude, that mental illness thing where you're like, if you went on paper, saw who I wasn't Arizona, yeah, bareclothed that too with tribal, it wasn't a hand job. It was a blow. It was a blow, yeah, behind the autos, but I remember the, oh, behind the autos, it wasn't for cassettes. It was for CDs of 80s rock bands. That's right. It was like, I believe it was big J. I always thought it was so funny because I remember the bands, it was rat. It was like, uh, another crazy hair metal band, you, you know, it was in a dark place, but that lady was big. That lady was big too. And she would come out in a bathrobe with wet hair for like the shower and then just suck my soul through. I can't go by an autos zone without getting a half a tub. The autos zone. Side of the background. Autos zone. Yeah. Dude, it was in the loading dump. Nothing about that image screams future success. No. No, yeah. That's dead. That usually goes, I mean, if you did a probability run down to that, you're going 95% this kid's going to end up in the dumpster. I sometimes think about the guy that robbed me if he's still alive, like the two guys that robbed me, if my shit is ever comes across as algorithm where he's like, you know, probably no. But just that idea that that's possible. Did you talk? Did you say anything? I did a whole. Oh, during the robbery. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck, man? What the fuck? You might remember that because you do have a distinctive vocal. Hey, what, what are you watching? He goes, Mita, what are you watching? They go, these white boys does, he does a perfect macho man and he goes, Mita, this is the guy I fucking robbed. It's so funny. Dude, you broke into an impression in that robbery. You might have been able to, oh, you're robbing me right now. He would have been like, yo, hold up. Yo, it's not Dave Chappelle. It's not Dave Chappelle. Oh no, man. I never fucking heard a white boy do a Chappelle like that. Yeah, dude. He was show about his business that I highly doubt that that guy was like, I wonder if he saw that this is not happening because that was all real. I think I did that story. It was absolutely real. And also, similarly, his trajectory, there's a good chance he may not be still around. No way, bro. I'm gonna tell you how. He may not be catching any of your YouTube clips. No, no, no, no. His, yeah, he might have caught one before YouTube was a thing. Yeah. But, you know, the guy that shot you in the ass, do you ever think about that? Like, there's a chance that not that he knows. Yeah. But there's just a chance like a hyena's clip or one of your standard clips goes across. For sure. He's algorithm and he's like not even processing. Like, I put a bullet in this, dude. I think about that all the time. Sure. I think about that because it's like, when I was living in Tucson, I never thought I would ever get to the point where I would be able to like sell tickets. For sure. And then this guy had me dead to rights. Yeah. Also, it was very professional about it. I say that in the story, but it's true. Yeah. It was like, you know, when you have a good doctor, that's like that moves quickly and like, all their moves are like, they make you feel comfortable with their moves. I don't know if that makes any sense. When you go to a doctor's office, like the way they take stuff out and like hook your blood, you know what I mean? Or a nurse, when they move correctly, I've never, I've never thought of that. You never thought about that? I never thought about it. Because sometimes people fuck up and they go, like, uh, shit. And you go, uh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. But when someone moves with such confidence that they go, kind of your arm, boom, damn look over here. Great. We're done. Good stage presence. Comfortable out there. Comfortable. This dude was so comfortable robbing me. He wasn't the first. It was almost like he wasn't an open-micro. No, no, no. And it was almost like he was trying to get home, like he didn't even, like he really didn't even care. Like, he's just like, whatever, what DVDs you have, I got to look for money, I got to look for drugs. Yeah. And then he was gone. Well, it was probably like, it's probably a dream robbery in the sense that, you know, oh, no push goes in. Yeah. There's no push back. No, no, no, I turned around. I put my hands up. He was like, oh, this is. Yeah. That's like having it. Someone would, you would immediately greet him and they'd just order like the double guacamole and patrone margarita. Yeah. This is easy. I'm going to make $50 bucks off this table. You did like the textbook, what they tell you to do when a cop pulls you over. Yes, sir. They broke it with the gun. You put two hands on the wheel. I knew that. You're like, let me turn on the lights on. I really do. I really, well, what happened with, at first what happened is I put my hands up and he saw the gun and he took the gun off me. And then what happens when I turn around and he hit me with the gun, I oversold it because it was like. Good one. Yeah. It gave me a little bump. Yeah. It didn't really like. In the movies, you seem to get knocked out. It's not at all what happened. Right. So then I went to the ground and he fucking, he zip tied me and that's when I was like, you're, I went, you're a pro. Yeah. I'm going to give him a little, I go, he's definitely done this before. You're making me feel very secure in this robbery. Yeah. And then he-- Not too tight. Not too loose. Just a perfect zip tie. Dude, and I say this into this is not happening, but it's true. I got white lady bitchy with him because I was laying there for so long and I was uncomfortable. The way that uncomfortability will make like a white person go, "Excuse me. Excuse me." That's what I was doing. I was going like, "Hello." And he was like putting the gun on my head at first, being like, "I'm going to fucking kill you." And then when he was like taking everything from my apartment, I was just like, "Come me hurry up." Yeah. This is not a good place for me. I was just laying on the carpet. But there was something about the way he zip tied you that you just knew that he wasn't going to kill you. Uh, he kept murder, don't interrupt the podcast. He kept asking where the drugs and the money were in a way that I went like, "I don't think he. " You know what my thought was? Guys more of a white collar criminal. This guy-- Yeah. I was going to say this guy, "Hey." I'm okay with it. I'm a dog guy. All right. Some people you don't know. I got two. I'm like huge. Yeah. And she wants to be the star. Yeah. So if it feels like, if it's not, she'll just like come out and come sit right here and go, "What the fuck are you doing?" Chris came to my house. He met my dogs and he goes, "Wow, your dogs are intimidating." They don't just bark, right? Dear, I got big ones. Big ones. That's the perfect department though. Yeah. Yeah. I got like country dogs. Yes. That's what I'm sure of. Yeah. I got ones you're not sure of. You're like, "What?" Well. You come to the door and I'm like, "I will, I will, I will." So that's the ones where I go. Okay. But this one, I took her-- I had to take her to the vet yesterday and I'm at the vet and it's really old lady with like, you know, a nurse with her and she's got the walker and her dog is in like a basket in the walker and across the lobby she goes, "Your dog has a beautiful face." And I go, "Oh yeah, thanks. She's really cute." And she goes, "I'm serious. She's beautiful. She should be in a movie." And I go, "Yeah. Doesn't she seem like she'd be in a Disney movie? It's like a fun scamp." And she goes, "She's not a scamp." She like got mad at me and she goes, "She's not a scamp." It came over and like, hold my dog to the point where I was like, "All right. Now this is too much. It was cute when you were standing over there, the fucking lady in the wall. It looked like a ghost coming to touch my dog. I was like, "Don't get your weird fucking stained hands, you know what they have on it?" Yeah, yeah, yeah. A little blot, it's like blotch. And you can see where the-- And the black and blue is from all the needles. That's what I was going to say. And she's like, "Touching my dog's face." And I'm like, "All right. All right." But with dogs like yours, you go over there and you're like, "Yo." Did I have this friend whose dog would just non-stop bark aggressively at you? But my friend and his family would just act like nothing was going on. Did you ever have friends like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well-- They're just like, "They're dogs." And then my friend, Joey, or his dad would go, "Stuck the fuck up, Louie." And the dog's like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah." And then his dad's like, "So how's football going?" You're like, "It's good." "Can you, yeah, what are we gonna do about that?" But he's just barking-- He's like, "Barking gun?" Yeah. He's got this faster gun. That was another great Nate joke. Yeah. He's like, "Why buy a gun? You can buy a tiger. People are about tigers." Yeah. It's funny, though, when you talk about the old people, like, when they say stuff, like, it's almost like the way life is bookended. You start out, you listen to what kids say. Kids say these sort of decoupled things from reality. And then you talk to old people. They say similar stuff. But it's like, you could tell there was a life of experience. Yeah. It's just a little difference, but it's still kind of unrealistic, like, I remember this old person's like, "You should be a model." And you go, "What is that?" And you go, "What is that?" And you go, "I have one eye." You go, "Come on, kid." What are you-- You should be a model. And that's like when a little kid sees a lady and he goes, "Are you an angel?" That's just an old person's version of the-- Yeah, it's an old person's version. You should be in the movies. And you go, "Shut off." You old child? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there really is. Like, it is. Yeah. It's all cyclical. It's all circle. And you really-- Right back in diapers and right back to sort of-- Your parents? I mean, you lost both your parents, but at the end, how child-like they are. Oh, my God. They're just like, "Help me. I need you to help me." And you're like-- I take care of them. Yeah. His diapers involved. It's all a situation. Get your daughters ready. Yeah. Get ready. Yeah. Because I'm going to be your child. Good to have daughters for that situation. The sons will be like-- sons are just like, yeah. Good luck, dude. I love my mom, but you think I'm going to do it? Yeah. The sons call up, "You good? You good?" Yeah. You good? [LAUGHTER] And then you go, like, "How's Rosalita?" Yeah. And she goes, "She's taking my stuff." and I go, "Mom, don't do that." - Sun's gonna have to throw in, they breathe. (sighs) - Oh, dude. - Yeah. - Oh my god. - Girls get on, like, I gotta get over there, I gotta help. - Dude. - I gotta create a system. - She helped her mom out instantaneously. Her mom was going through something and she's like, "I'm going up to Boston. I just gotta be there for my mom." And I was like, "Well, that's so commendable." And my mom's like, "I'm going through something." And I go, "Well, I'm doing wise guys in Salt Lake City." - Maybe I could squeeze in. (laughs) I'm gonna stop while I'm doing the fork, not toberin' for Collins. I could drive down. Would you still have it by October, do you think? - Absolutely, right? - You go to the neighbors, like, "Hey, you mind taking a peek?" - Hey, listen, I, I've Venmo you. I've, I've, Venmo you a toip. You go over there. - Yeah, what's your Venmo? (laughs) - That's 100% of Sun's feeling it. - Yeah, you might check it out with her. - She's dying. - You know, we can't, we can't get the phone in, we can't get the phone in an answer. I don't know, I just like go pound on the door. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Hey, everybody, apps and money are like peanut butter and jelly now. No one carries cash, I found that out, 'cause I carry cash, and people look at me like I'm insane. But maybe, just maybe you need a new app. We'll check out cash app. 'Cause the cash app's got cash app green, and they've also got it, listen, cash app does more than you think when it comes to just having your back and making sure your money stays your money. The cash app just released a new status program for the way people actually spend called cash app green. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the cash app card, you earn green status, which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage. 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Yeah, I would have- My friend calls me and goes like my dad or mom had a heart attack and they drop. I just want to be like, you're lucky. There's a silver lining there. Do both of your parents hold on? They were, I mean, that's Greeks. The mind goes and the body just holds on. It's that Mediterranean diet. You guys keep going. The bodies just keep going. They don't tell you it's a curse. They act like it's a gift, they go eat oils, eat these fish, and then you go, "Are you sure?" Yeah, and you go, "Hey, Omega, sevens are going to keep her body going while her brain is applesauce, so good luck." No, they vote. My dad went 91. Pretty much mentally attacked. My mind went 90, but the mind, yeah, the mind went like 20 years earlier, and then it was just- What was the, like, how long before you knew it was going down before it happened? Well, when the mind goes, it's particularly torturous because it starts out, and you're going like, "You're fucking with me, right?" Yeah. You're going like, "How old were you when that happened?" This was a- You were in your 30s, early 30s. Early 30s, yeah. 'Cause that was just when we first started being friends. Yeah, yeah, that whole era was just trying to do comedy during that era was just like- That's when you're doing bar four, too, right? Yeah, all through that. Yeah. All through that was like- So it started, yeah, for like 20 years. It was like a 20-year decline. But the first time it happens, you go like- First time, you go like, "Are you fucking with me?" She's like, "She'll say something again." That she'll ask or- And then you just don't get it. First, you just don't get it and you're like- Versus, versus when they're very old in their mind, like your dad, when they remember shit, then you go like, "Are you fucking with me in a different way?" Yeah, yeah. My grandma was there mentally and then she would remember random ass shit that I'd be like, "Oh, you're still sharp." Yeah. She'd be like, "You didn't even bring me that cheese." Yeah. You remember that? You remember that? I said that. You go, "All right, we're generally being a bitch about it, but sure, I'll get you that "cheese, Mary Lou." Yeah. But with your- And here's another thing. Just get your parents a good TV. What I've realized is the end of life is, I don't know what old people did before, tell them. I think they just sat. That's why trees were- That's scared. Trees and breezes. Yeah, three and a breeze. They went, "Oh." But old people watch so much fucking TV. I mean, so much TV. My grandma had the view on 89 volume. Life-long Republican. And that's what I got to hear. Joy Behar fucking crashing through the guest room door. She was rage-watching. I don't think so. You know, old people, especially from the greatest generation, or whatever, those the Great Depression babies, they had this thing where you're right. She was rage-watching, but she wouldn't give me the satisfaction of knowing she was rage-watching. She'd just go like this. She says silly things. There you go. You hate her, don't you? She goes, "No, I don't eat anybody. "Foolishness." So it's like stuff like that. You're gonna be like, "Oh, yeah, you're fucking that." That's not, we can act like that's a new thing with social media. That's better thing. - Oh, no. Also another thing I liked, somebody posted a while ago, I saw this, they posted a picture where they juxtaposed people on the train, back in the day, and people on the train now, and everyone's like, "It's so different now." Everyone just has a newspaper. It's like a hundred people on the train, and everyone's just buried in the newspaper. Nobody's talking, they act like before social media, everyone's like, "Hey, how are you doing? "Where are you going?" - Yeah. - Oh, hi, neighbor. I heard a new great recipe at the local neighbor. What's your name? - Yeah, and then everyone was introducing themselves. No, everyone was buried in their own shit. - I used to bring a book with me on the subway. This is like '07, and I would be reading my book, but sometimes I would just zone out looking at my book, and it was something where my eyes were. - Yeah. - So I just looked busy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I didn't wanna talk to anybody. - Right, nobody's like very, somebody starts talking to you on a plane. Everyone acts like we need to be more social. It's like, - I've made that statement, but I'm wrong, 'cause then you do it, you do it, and you go, what the fuck am I doing, yeah? - Oh, when someone's inquisitive on a plane, stop, stop. I even, you know, I was wrong. - 'Cause then you're locked in. - What was your thing to get out of conversation? - The worst thing that ever happened to me was being on a plane and sitting next to someone who knew who I was. That was the worst thing ever. - Can I tell you, I've been there. 'Cause usually you wanna get the, hey, I love your stuff, and then it's over, but then, hey, I love your stuff, and then, okay, we're still here for fucking six hours. - I've been on the other side of that. I sat next to Samoa Joe, who's a famous wrestler, and man, oh man. - Oh, you let me know. - It was I like, like, he's just having a quiet ride, and I'm like, what? - Samoa Joe hates you. - Yeah, and I was just waiting for him out to be like, man, you were in the honor run with a silly, unbelievable, and I could talk to you about it forever. But so there were moments where I go, oh man, yeah, I gotta give this guy some peace. - Yeah. - Anyway, what's good to your campus, you're being a problem. - It ended up being fine, but it's like when I accepted what it was like, I was like, all right, we're gonna be more than just, our relationship's gonna change now, and I'm just accepting it. You're gonna know more about me, and I'm gonna know more about you. - I feel, I wish there was like some sort of clause in that social contract right ago. You want me to tell you the worst thing about all your favorite people. Do you want to know the real shit? Do you want to make this valuable? Who do you like? Let me take 'em down a bit. (laughing) That's almost where I get where I go. I don't wanna talk about me. I wanna talk about people I know that I have dirt on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What's funny is, I will, when I talk to people like that, and they bring up a comic who has, who's comedy I don't like, I immediately have to be like. (laughing) Yeah, he's great. - You can't, yes, in that. - He's great, he's great. - No, I, yes, in that to death. - You do. - I, yes, in that, yeah. - No, man, there's usually a pause. - I'm like, come in and they're like, they say that per, I really, I'm like, yeah, I love that too. - I go, you do? - Yeah. - That's usually what I do. - You can't lie. - The immediate response is usually you do, and then if they go, I love 'em. And I don't have a problem with that guy, but there was one, I don't know if I'll say this guy, this comic's name, but I was at a friend's house, and my friend's family was there. His wife's cousin and her husband were there, and we're just like hanging out, and it's clear the wife's husband knows comedy, or a loose knowledge of it. And he's trying to let me know that he knows that I'm a comic, and then he, he knows. And so he's like sitting there and his wife was pregnant, and he's like, yeah, grossed her last week. week and I went, "Oh yeah?" Then he went, "Fff, got her." And I was like, "What do you say?" And he said the thing and I went, "Oh, cool man." And he was like, "And then he kept bringing it up?" And finally I went, "How much did you pay for those tickets?" He said, "No, it's like that." And I was like, "I didn't want it, but I was just like, dude, stop hammering me over the head with this. I'm not going to give you what you want. I don't know what you want me to do in this situation." Yeah, I mean, he was like, "Cool, you want to show. That's awesome. You had an experience." Yeah. Well, maybe there's a correlation between taste of comedy and being able to pick up social cues. That's also a thing where he goes, "Have you ever had something like that?" Have you ever had, there was this made me think, there was a comic from Chicago that stayed with Vecchio and an eye one time. Vecchio and said, "Yes." And then he came home and he goes, "Hey, this guy, who I knew needs a place to stay, this state and this state." And you said, "Our apartment." And he goes, "I did." And this was just fresh out of waiting tables, so I'm doing comedy, but I still have to do other stuff to make money. And this guy stayed on our couch and lacked any ability to pick up social cues. Those guys are a handful. Dude, even telling you right now is making my blood start to fucking boil to the point that I paused the TV and I went, "What's up?" What do you got? I was about to say, it makes you do that. At a certain point, you just. And I didn't want it. Yeah, you go like, "You didn't pick up this, this, this, and this, so now I have to make it uncomfortable." And I'll tell you what it was. Thirty Rock was still on the air and every time there's a new episode on DVR, it's one of my favorite shows of all time. Even while it was running on NBC, I fucking love Thirty Rock. I got excited about new episodes. I went to Neptune Diner. I got a nice. Rest in peace. Rest R-I-P to a legendary Diner. I got a nice little lunch. I brought it home. I had everything. This guy comes in the door because he stayed with us and I go, "Oh, I'm just gonna eat my lunch and watch Thirty Rock." He just doesn't stop talking and I go, "That's crazy." Well, me and my lunch watch Thirty Rock, but you can watch it with me and he's like, "Doesn't stop talking?" And I go, "Ah, but I do those things. I just want to watch this episode real quick." We can talk about this after I'm just gonna eat my lunch and watch this and then we can talk about it. "Doesn't stop and I just start it. Then I put the volume up as high as possible." To be like, "Oh, yeah? It's crazy. Volume is pin. You still not stopping." And I pause and I go, "Then what are we going to talk about? Still better than it." You just got gun shot. I mean, he's like, "Still anyway." Oh, so did you see that thing? And by the way, you know the rule. If you come see me live and you ask who this person is, I will tell you. But it was crazy. I like that rule. Yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna stay here, yeah, you know. And if I say, if I DM it to you or I tell you online, you're just gonna scream, grab that, and there's proof. But we're live in a show. I'll pat you down. And then I'll go, yeah, I'll tell you. You say that now until shit gets crazy and then you're gonna be like, "Everybody's got their phone in their bag. I can't kill you in this secret." Because you got your phone on you. Yeah. I mean, it does ruin a lot. It does feel like secrecy or just like kind of talking shit. Yeah. Yeah. That part is that the privacy secrecy. The privacy of context. You know, it's context is gone. Everyone acts like they know people because they saw a clip or you're defined by your public person. It's this whole thing. It's crazy. Do you probably, you probably get this of fans that send you joke ideas and you go, "What is this?" I am way past that. Really? Like looking. I don't know. Oh, you know. I haven't done it in a while. But when it started happening was at the end of me looking. Yeah. And that was one of the reasons I walked away from looking. Yeah, yeah. Because they were like, dude, you know what you should do? Yeah. You should say and you go, "What?" Yeah. It's like crazy. You know what it made me think of is messaging like Queens of the Stone Age. Yeah. I'm like, "You guys ever do a song about this?" Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, why would you ever do that? Yeah. But there is this like, you know, it's like messaging Warren Buffett with a stock test. Yeah. There you go. You get this, right? I got an idea that will turn around for you, Warren. Hey, yeah. Hey, buddy. I know you drive that old beat up piece of shit. Well, here's an idea. But I do think that's like a gift and a curse that you are as connected. You know what I mean? Yeah. But also the curses that you get those people. Because I've had people that have written me been like, "Yo, dude, I'm trying to quit drinking what's the book." Yeah, yeah, yeah. And immediately I'll be like, "Yo, this is the book. It's fucking helps." Well, that's society. It's the same pattern. That's why it's like why we have to get padded down at the airport. We have to adjust society for the worst of us. Of us. Yeah, because the best of us. Yeah. It's like, it could be a great thing. It could be the greatest thing. You message, you know, you message your favorite community and you say something heartfelt and you get a response. Yeah. 99 out of 100 people would love that. It's the one guy who, for whatever reason, wants to fuck it up or makes it so, you know what he goes, "Hey, I'm about to message you every day for the rest of our lives." Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right. It is. It's like-- People like that don't make sense. They don't list it to send. It's just what it is. It's house-us-ideus. Yeah, you're right, because I remember before social media, there was a lady at the Comedy Cell. And that's unavoidable. It just will always happen. It'll always happen. People will always ruin any system, anything. It just is inevitable. So the Comedy Cell is great. You're there and you see comics and go up to Olive Tree and a lot of times they're there. One time Chris Rock was there. This lady was pretty drunk. And Chris Rock was being super nice. And she was like, "This is wild." I was still drinking. So I had to be before 2013. It was probably 2011, 2010. And Chris Rock is at the cellar in this lady. He's like, "My son is such a big fan of yours. He just graduated high school." And Chris Rock's like, "That's incredible. Congratulations to him." And she goes, "Would you leave him a message? Would you leave him a message?" And he goes, "Yes, there we go." And he goes, "It gets crazy." And he goes, "Sure, man. That's great." Hey, you know, "Hey, it's Chris Rock. I heard you graduated high school. Congratulations. Now you're going to be broke." And you're like, "Made a joke at the end. He tagged you with a joke." And you're like, "That's great." And he goes, "There you go." And she goes, "Oh, great." No, I didn't say if you do it again. Dude, you did it again. And then she tried for a third. And I remember collectively the table of comments was, "Oh." And she was like, still not even aware that that was asking so much. So you're like, "Dude, he did it twice." And you're like, "No, this isn't good enough." Yeah. And that's not even that bad of a one. Yeah, I remember I was opening for Burr years ago and he didn't go out and he told me the reason why he didn't. It was just one person one time that just said something like, "Fucked up." And he was just like, "Fuck it." He was at the point where he didn't need to anyway. But apparently he was going out afterwards and saying, "I remember that." I remember watching fucking. I'm not doing it anymore. When we used to go watch him at Caroline's, one time we were out at the bar and I watched him walk away from a drunk lady that was circling the table, being like, "Come in." And he was like, "Leave me alone, lady." But he wasn't being Burr funny. Yeah. He's being like, "Seriously? Get the fuck away from me." And it was just this table and I was sitting there drinking a beer like, "That's horrible." Yeah. That looks horrible. And it's crazy because it's 99 out of 100 would be amazing. Dude, I had a great one. It's just that one. I had a great one at bananas, back when it was in Hasbrok Heights. Back when they used to take out the Oster Tag and tape it back up every weekend. Yeah. And then they're, or they put the bananas around the thing. It's fucking to cut out banana. Cut out banana. And then they go buy real bananas and put it around the stage. And you're like, "You're wasting money on these bananas." But one night, you know, remember it's in like the, it's in like the conference room. Yeah. Well, one night I show up and Justin Silver was hosting our featuring for me. So I'll tell you about this because this is 100% a real story. I go in, we do Friday night two shows. Great. Show up Saturday for two shows. The guy meets me at the door of the hotel. He goes, "So, there was a Kinsen era book in the main room. We're going to put you in the side room. And I'm in the side room that's like long and thin, right? So you got to like go like this." And the late show wasn't great. And I keep joking around. I'm like, "Guys, you guys have to laugh because we're in the room where they keep the chairs." I was like, "You have to laugh. You have to make me feel better on myself in this hotel." I was like, "If I hear the thump of a pit bull base from that Kinsen era, if I hear a pit bull song coming through the wall, I might mask everybody." I keep making those jokes. And this is like early days of bonfire. So this is like maybe 2015, 2016. So it's like, we're starting to get fans. You know what it is? Like they start showing up and you're like, "Oh, fork. People are like coming out." There was a drunk lady. She had a fake eye lash that was half off. That's what I remember. Like I remember- Someone ran for that hotel in that area. And Jersey just feeling like that. And this is when I used to stand and greet people outside like a politician where you'd go like, "Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming. This is your husband. You've got a lot of tickets. Thank you so much. Man, so I'm doing that. And then this drunk lady with fucking half a fake eye lash was just standing there. And she goes, "Is this really the room where they keep the chance?" And you go, "Oh, I don't know. I was just joking around." us. Why are you in this small room? She's just talking shit to me as I'm doing this procession. And then she's like, and back then, we didn't have merch on the bonfire. So people would make their own shirts. And that was the one that snapped me. 'Cause people were like, "Dude, check out the shirt." I was like, "Dude, it's fucking awesome." And this fucking lady goes, "Why would they make a shirt for you?" Like that. And then she's turning like, "Who the fuck are you?" - Yeah. - And her face was like, and she goes, "Well, now I'm not a fan." And you go, "I don't want you as a fan." Leave. - Oh, dude. It was wild. I like blew up on her. - Yeah. - I blew up on her. I had to sit in the parking lot for like 15 minutes 'cause I was like, "What the fuck, dude? She was just standing there." But then, now that I'm older, how funny is she? - Yeah. - She was just standing there while I was greeting fans, going, "You ain't shit." You ain't fucking shit half her eyelash, hanging off. Her friend was like, "Let's go." She was like, "Now, fuck this guy. I want to tell him he stinks. Couldn't even sell tickets." - There's so many scenarios that when you're like, going through the experience of being a comic that you do, that when you get to a point, you realize you don't have to do. - Yes. - And you're like, it's like a-- - It's like a stripper not fucking the manager of the club. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She's like, "You know what I have to blow veto?" You think, "Oh, no, you don't have to-- You never had to blow veto." She goes, "You said I got a better stage if I did." - Yeah. - No, honey, you-- - It's just a fucking scumbag. - Another one is when you invite people, like where people come out and see you, like you go to a city and there's like cousins or friends in that city, and then they text you. They're texting you from the seats. Like they're texting you responding to them before you go, and then they go, "Are you coming, we want to see you?" And then you're like, "They come into the green room and then they don't fucking leave." And they just realize, "You don't have to respond. You don't have to do it." And then when they text you later, go, "Oh, sorry, man." - She just saw this. - Yeah, she just saw this. - Then she just saw this? - Yeah, brother. - She just saw this. - Two weeks ago, two weeks ago, Stanford, Connecticut, New York comedy club. Love that club. - It's a great club. - Great club. Four out of the five shows, fucking ripped. I'm doing half old, half new, trying to get this new hour together. Loved every, dude, Greg Stone's feature informing, every time he gets off stage, he's like, crowd's fucking fantastic. I have a friend that I waited tables with. My friend Jamie, she's like, "I got tickets. I'm coming to see you." And, you know, it's Tuesday energy's different than Saturday, late show energy. Tuesday energy, I'm like, "You better say hi. You better say hi." - When I tell you that that crowd Saturday, late, wasn't there, they just, whatever it was, we were just oil and water. - The late show, I mean, throughout alcohol tired, it's just-- - I just don't know. It wasn't good, and it's so funny, 'cause the MC and Greg both tried to do that thing, where they don't give it away, that the crowd sucks. Where they went. - They're all right, they're getting there. You're getting there, yeah, I'm warming up. - I'm warming up. - They're gonna be great for you. - Yeah, they're gonna be great for you. I got hit with that both from the MC and Greg. I go up there immediately, we're not connecting. This crowd, there was like super big fans of the regs. So, like, Legionist gang's fans, who I love. Again, 99 out of 100, fucking phenomenal. But sometimes guys know too much from podcasts. So when they're watching your stand-up, they're like, that's not real, that's real. And you go like, I need you to suspend disbelief for a second. 'Cause we're trying to write jokes right here. But these guys are like, you know, in hoodies, in the front row, just looking like this. And then, it's not their fault. It's not their fault that I have a mental illness that makes me and my head go, you're bombing, you suck. Also, I know Jamie's there. Also, I know all this stuff has happened. - Well, that's just the negativity bias. It's like, everyone does that. It's like, if one person's not laughing, you just boom. If there's one negative comment, you go, boom. It's just, that's the built-in cognitive bias we all have. - Yeah. - So I'm just. - End up fucking focusing. - So I'm just trudging. - Yeah, you just see your daddy's face and then I'm going to smile. - No, I see the back of his head. I see the back of his head leaving. - Yeah. It just, we just project, just get out of them. - And so I like get through the set or whatever. I've never bombed. I love the way you, that's exactly what it feels. - Yeah, he's get through the set. - He's get through the set. - Some shows, you just get through the set. - You're just holding on like a fucking heavyweight boxer. He's like, duh, duh, how do you separate and go? - He's like, duh, duh, that was just holding on. - I've never had it where I've bombed. Now, granted, if you're at the show, you're probably like, you didn't bombed. But you, we know. - I know what you're saying. - We know when you bombed. Louis said that on Howard Stern years ago and I've never like related more regas, I will bombing, you will not know it. But I'm bombing, I bombed. I did not have a good show. - Well, that's another thing you learn is like, you don't have, if you're bombing, - Don't tell him. - You think, yeah, don't tell 'em because they don't know. - They don't know. - They don't know. - So I just held on, what are you doing? I held on, I've never had it where I've bombed on a show and then bombed socially because she came back with like her husband who I don't know and like five of their friends and I just didn't have it in the green room. I fucking bombed, dude. I was like trying to talk at one point, I'm legitimately, this is how bad of a bombed was. At one point, there's two couples that are talking, right? And I'm talking to her and her husband and then there's like two couples talking and they say something. And I'm legitimately asking this question, this guy and this girl, I go, are you guys married? And they go, ah, they thought you were gay, they thought you were saying you guys are married and I went, ah, this is where I went with it. That's not what I meant at all. I was actually talking about the man and the woman, but I was just bombing so bad socially and I kept being like, it's crazy, shows, it's a good club, it's a good club, you just say all the same things. It's like, you've been knocked out before, right? - Yes, yes. - When you get knocked out. - And you don't know what's going on, yeah? And you wake up and you start asking the same questions. When I busted my face open to my 21st birthday, I kept going, what happened? What happened? I kept saying that. That's when it was like in the green room where I got knocked out by that audience and then they came back and they go, "This is hot out." - Is it hot out? - The moment going from unconscious to conscious is one of the funniest moments. Did I tell this story on this podcast? - I don't know. - The two-ray story? Did I ever tell the two-ray story? - We can go back and look at it, but I don't think you did. - It's one of the funny, it's something that only I experienced and you know, you have those moments where something's so funny and you know, it's only ever going to be you who witnessed it but you wish somebody else could have been there and then when you try to tell it, it was so funny that there's no way. It's like, it's not possible. - Yeah, so the first off shot out too, right? Go Niners, huge for an interface. - So we were at Philadelphia Legend. - This is when Nate did new faces and me and Jesse came and just stayed with him in '08. - Yeah. - We stayed with him and they got and two-ray in him were like, just became drinking buddies and buddies and so they came back to the apartment hammered, hammered. - And you guys were staying at that tri-long place that we stayed at, right? - So we go to sleep and then I was going out to meet a girl. I was going out to meet a girl who was staying at another place and so I wake Nate up and I'm like, hey man, I'm gonna go out meet this girl. He's like drunk, I'm like, I just need to do it. - Did I know this story, but honestly, I have not heard this story in 16 years. - Yeah, this is a good one. So it was literally, I'm trying to think of something funnier that I've seen. So I go and I get the key. You remember it a little bit now? - I know exactly, punch by this. - So you're right, it is one of the funniest things. - I mean, I wish someone was there. So I get the key, he's like, it's in my pants or wherever it's in my bedroom. So I go into his bedroom 'cause he's like a fucking pass down the street. - Sure. - Ture is asleep on the bottom of the bed like this and he's like a six three black guy. - I hear no, he's like six sit. - He's a huge, I'm six, he's bigger than me and I'm six three. - So it looks like he was just so hammered that he just passed out at the bottom of the bed, curled up in the fetal position. - Oh, that's old school comedy festival drinking. - There's an ironing board out 'cause Nate always irones his t-shirt or whatever. And so I'm like rumbling through his pants to find the keys. I pick up the keys. I look over at Ture, I see him wake up like out of just straight out. He pulls the ironing board forward, he puts his hands on and he's like, yeah, yeah. So we were talking about this album deal, you know what I mean? Like you're gonna take 40%, 60% 'cause me and my boys really grinded it on this album deal. And I went, what? And he went, I don't know, he was dreaming. - That's so black. - Black people dream black. - That's what I learned that black people dream black. - Black people have hustle dreams. - He was having a dream about getting a rap deal. - He goes, okay, but I get that, you know what I mean? Whatever, whatever. We're working that out. - I got the masters, you go, I don't think you own that. Dude, that is one of the, coming to and having conversations is, if you ever get to see it is so funny, it's like sleep talking. Where people wake up and they just go, like, are you talking about? He was his dream and he was like, and then he was just in it. And for a moment, he was just talking to some record exam. - Have you ever done that? - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - Have you ever been caught doing it? - Yeah. - 'Cause the embarrassment, you know what they say, don't wake up to sleep walker? It's because they're gonna be so embarrassed. My friend, when I was in, my freshman year of college, my mom made me keep my car. 'Cause she knew I was gonna drink a lot of college. She made me keep my car in her house, right? So when I'd go back to Colorado, I'd have my car, but it was in my mouth. house. My friend Dennis had a party. His mom was gone. Everyone's back from college. It's like winner break. We, I drank seven and seven. I was drinking Seagrams and seven up. And I drank half of a one seven five by myself. So like half of a handle. I'm fucking. What's a handle? You know, like a, the big dog. Is that what they call it? It's a one seven five. What's a one seven five? Yeah, it's like a gallon. It's over a gallon. It's like one seven point seven five. You're looking at the Irish guy. Well, you know, that's our shorthand. Yeah, Dr. Greek about it. I'm not asking about. I'm not asking about wine that comes out of a thousand year old pot. I'm asking about a plastic juggle. Four was whiskey. Yeah, it was like you were speaking. I didn't know. Yeah, you're like, I was drinking a one seven five. And then I had was the bottoms up and then I took a handle. I go, what? I go, how you say? Oh, one seven five. So I'm drinking jargon. Yeah, I was drinking a lot. It's a lot. Yeah. It's a larger mound of alcohol. And I remember our buddy Jill, I ran out of cigarettes and Jill was like, I'll tell you, you know, she's like, I don't got a car, but I haven't been drinking. And I was like, he's driving my car. My car is here. And she's like, all right, she drives to get cigarettes. We're driving back. And I, I'm about to throw up. And she's like, well, we're almost here. And I asked she's driving a roll the window down. And I throw up all down the side of my car all over my arm because my arm's hanging out the window. I'm like, and I just throw up, it's a house party. It's a giant house party. So I take my shirt off. I have a 49ers coat in my trunk, a zip up starter. I take my whole shirt off and I just put a zip up starter jacket on. And I'm just so fucked up. I go in the house. I go to his basement. Like to Ray, I just curl up on one part of the couch lights off. I'm out. His little brother, his room was downstairs. So he, his little brother, like comes downstairs and opens the basement door. And I don't remember this. But I just sit up and I go, Hey, man, I was just checking to make sure all your lights were working or whatever. And he goes, what the fuck are you talking about? Right back to it. And the next time I saw Justin, he was like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I don't even know. I don't even know what that means. You just want to make sure all the lights were working. But I was like, yeah. But you don't remember it. Getting knocked out is the same thing. Yeah. I remember my old shot was interviewing Chris Wideman, the MMA. Yeah. When he beat his friends with his wife. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's a great guy. He's a family from Long Island. Yeah. Long Island. Yeah. So I was interviewing him and we were talking about that Anderson Silva when he knocked out Anderson Silva. And if you watch it, like I was asking him, like, did you watch it and like laugh at how funny? Because if you watch it, the same thing happens. He knocks him out. And then Anderson Silva starts grabbing the referee's legs. That's all it's to do those. You had knockouts, UFC knockouts or boxing, where you see him talk to the ref. You're like, they're not there. You ever see those videos they make where you see the videos really make where someone gets knocked out and they like throw a guitar, like, whatever position. I mean, the thing that really made me nervous at first and then we laughed about it. I mean, it's not really even it's a traumatic brain injury. But it was when my buddy was the head coach, when McDaniel was the head coach of the dolphins, Tula got knocked out and he started throwing gang signs. Like on the thing where I had to call my friend and I go, he was definitely throws those gang signs, right? He was like, but it was wild. He got knocked out and his fingers were just like, yeah. Yeah. Cause like you're all your social conventions are gone. All your defenses are gone. Like it would be funny if someone ever gets knocked out and they just get up and they start doing like that gay cripple walk. Yeah. What was that? They're like, I don't know what was going on when they come back. It's called a gay cripple walk. It also was one of the things where it's something you do when you're drunk and you don't want people to know your drunk. You go back to like an old social thing where you go like, I got them like a weather today. And they go, how drunk are you? That was always the worst. Yeah. Was when someone with you and Nate were the two best at spotting me when I was way hammered and no one else could tell. But you as you could you. I can hold my shit. You could hold your shit. Yeah. Nate would fucking fall apart. Nate was got dude. Nate didn't make a hit of phase where he wanted to lose weight. So he went from drinking beer to drinking vodka sodas. And it's just like he thought it dude. It's just like he took him a while. That would be a funny sketch like the alcoholics weight loss program. It's like no more beer straight vodka. But yeah. He I remember this like it was fucking yesterday. Gary Veter used to have the show at the Irish Exit 51st and 2nd that bar. We were at Caroline's 49th and Broadway. We're drinking downstairs. Nate's having vodka sodas. He's on the show. I'm drinking because that's what I do too. And we're getting hammered. And then we're like, dude. And it was like a Tuesday. You guys look, just go to Veter's show. And we're like, that's awesome. So we're walking like on 49th like 49th and 6th kind of like by serious Nate's hammered. He's in the front with like Graham K and a couple other people. And like me. And we're talking. And then Nate kind of drifts to the back as we're walking. And Nate thinks he's and this he's just this old black woman. This is walking next to Nate. And Nate's like, I mean, it's just kinds of. Oh, I don't know. It's talking to me. It was the most pleasant interaction I've ever watched with strangers. She goes, oh, I was just going to keep letting you talk. And he goes, well, I hope you had a good one. It was so funny watching them because he was just like, yeah, oh, hey, yeah. You had no idea where he was. You were tough. You were tough to tell. I was like, you had to look at subtle signs. Nate could tell better than anybody. Nate could go like this. You're drunk as hell. I told him one time from Chicago. And he goes, how drunk are you? I go, how'd you know that? You guys you slur a little bit. That's impressive that he picked it up just from boys. Yeah. He could tell better than anybody. But yeah, do you know what's funny? He's like, just was in my, I just did just for laughs. Oh, you went up to that. Yeah. Did you still like feel the same or? Yeah. It's like, it's like after you see all the background of Disneyland. And then you go and you go, yeah, it's nice. But like, I know what's actually going on. It's like going to Dresden after the bombing. Like it's still Dresden. It's still, you still can take your breath away. But not the way you wanted it. No, the shows were fucking phenomenal. The two shows I did on Saturday night were great. But I kept thinking of something that you said to me 15 years ago, because we didn't mantra all the same year. You did new faces and me and Laker did no faces as he called 11 or 10. 11. It was 2011. So it was 15 years ago. Yeah. I got fucking blackout. I had a good night. My last night of the festival. I did really well on the unwrapped. And I got blackout. Was it the last night of the festival? Saturday night. Yeah. And you and Jesse were driving back to New York. Oh, we drove together. Yeah. I took a greyhound with Laker up because you were up there early. It took a greyhound. And then it's so nice coming into the lobby here and to hear it. It's like, that's a moment where you could go, yeah. Yeah. I did okay. I did all right. You still have to take a greyhound to mantra all. Yeah. And we and I took the greyhound up there. Blackout. Blackout every night. And then Saturday night, I had like, you know, they did like the unwrapped festival. And I got a lawyer. And I remember just being like, text to my friends back in Denver, being like, my lawyer, I'll talk to you. They're like, what do you think about it? I got a fucking lawyer. But you drove back and I got drunk. And I don't know if you remember this, but I was fucking hurting on Sunday. So, do you smoke weed or a little bit? I smoke weed and I drank a six pack of moulson before we got on the road. Do you remember? I fucking. I listen to like old school rap. Yeah. But I ripped through a six pack of moulson and I was pretty fucking, I was feeling no pain at the beginning of that drive. But then it all went to shit. It's like an eight hour drive wherever long. It was long. But I was kept thinking about on the flight home on Sunday morning. I was fine. I like, I flew out at like 7 a.m. So I was like, yeah, whatever barely got any sleep, but I'm fine. And I kept thinking of your voice going, you were looking in the rear view while you were driving and you go, you'll be all right. As long as you stop drinking and you just kept saying that. And like, the honest is one of you should always, you should have a friend that grew up in Brooklyn in the 80s because it's, let me amend that statement to say, you should have a friend that grew up in a war zone because they will tell you the truth, even when the truth is like, I've lost a few friends because I tell the, you know, I like this. But for someone, if you appreciate that skill, it's fantastic. Because you said that and I was like, yeah, I think he's right. Yeah, this, it was going to go one of two ways with you. But that mantra all true. Just guys got a lot of talent. He's either going to get really good or he's going to fuck it. Yeah. And I was getting a drinker. Yeah. But it was just like, I kept thinking about that Saturday on the way to the airport. I kept being like, he honest being like, he's got it all. He's got a quit drink. And I remember being like, shut the fuck off at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I knew you're right. Yeah. Do you know it's funny is the, the millennial generation or like, no, the Gen Z, they don't even drink alcohol sales are down 50%. My buddy works for crazy. My buddy works for Tito's vodka. He's like, you know, pretty, it does well there. And he's like, it's a drop off. Yeah. Do you know what they do now? Crazy drop. I mean, you know what they do now? 50%. And I don't want to do one of those things where I'm like, I'm an older guy. I'm like, these young kids are pussies. But you know what they do now? Microdosing, right? No, it makes so much sense. It's so much more sensible. Good job, young people. They take a 10 milligram edible. They drink two seltzers. And they go, I feel pretty good. There's probably a stop right there. Yeah. Meanwhile, older male Millennials were like, how can I break this machine? I'm gonna pour so much booze in this. I just wanna test my limits. And we used to, yeah, I mean, it was like-- - I mean, every generation before us. - Every generation before it was just like, man, we drank. We drank too much. - Drinking was sick. I remember being in high school, just like hugging toilets at night, just throwing up tequila. - It's the 21st anniversary. - Yeah, that's not great. - It's the 23rd anniversary. - Trying to fucking, you're like holding your dick in the front end. - Oh my God. - I'm making a-- - Remember those trying to guide it in, train out, and you go-- - And you go, "Training Wheels"? - This was always the line. - Yeah. - It's just so beautiful. - Yeah. (laughs) - Slopily kissing your, it's just so beautiful. (laughs) You're so beautiful. I, you know what? Dude, the amount of promises I made to women-- - Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna fucking shit this. - It's wait, yeah. - And then you don't, you do, you wake up, and because you would have sex, but it lasts so fast, 'cause you're feeling again. You're like, oh, whoa, oh my God. But it really was like a thing of like, oh, I'm just gonna puke. I feel like there are still young people that do that, but most young people are like-- - 50% is a dramatic drop. - That's crazy. - That's a dramatic drop. - It's a dramatic drop. - It's what happened to cigarettes. - Yeah, exactly. - A cigarette, they went like, also, people like me who grew up with alcoholic parents, one of whom was all right, but one of whom who died, 'cause like back to your parents dying, when you see your dad, I mean, you're not gonna see him a lot, but the last time I saw him, he had cirrhosis, and I was like, yo! And then he died, he kind of go, well, that's the final result of that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Like with your parents, keep your mind healthy is what I would say. - That's exactly what exercise your mind as much as your body. - But then there's kids who were like, whose parents died of lung cancer, and they're like, don't smoke. Don't smoke around me, my fucking, how many times I heard that when I'm sorry, I lost my mom to lung cancer, and you go, oh, I would understand why you don't like smoking cigarettes. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, but it really is. Now kids are like, I'm not drinking, my parents marriage got destroyed, 'cause my dad or mom was an alcoholic. - Yeah, they wise up a little bit in that way. - That's what it is. You just wonder if they, you wonder if they come back. You wonder if there's a moment where young people go like. - I don't think 'cause it's like cigarettes, I think you, I think it's-- - cigarettes are coming back. - They're coming back. - cigarettes are coming back. - People are smoking again. - Dude, in a fucking big way. - Wow. - And I'll tell you as someone that wants to come back. - Yeah. - I notice it more. - Yeah. - But young people are smoking. Young people like 18, 19 year olds are out here ripping butts. - Wow. - You can tell 'cause they don't know how to hold it. - Yeah. - That's what bugs. - No, they don't know how to hold the cigarette. - Oh, they're just like-- - Are they holding it like Germans in the Indiana Jones movie? - Where they at? - They hold it like that. - That's what pissed me off of us. - Like a camel hoof? - Yeah, where they at? Nothing pissed me off more than people bumming as cigarette and you could tell they weren't smokers. Where they go. - There you go. - Yeah, they're just drunk and they want one. - You can't talk to you that. And then it became when they were so expensive, someone would just bomb a cigarette and you'd be like, dude, it's gonna cost you two dollars. - You know what my method was? - Or at least do something for them. - My method at the end of smoking was, if you offer me money, I'll give you one. - Yeah. - Hey, can I buy a cigarette off the other go? There you go. - 'Cause this shows the respect. - Yeah. - You know I paid for that. You know I paid 13, 25 for this pet. - I remember they got up to 20 or something. - Yeah, I think they're up there right now. - For like 18, 25 when I looked. - Because I look. - That might change the addiction where it's like that chip hell joke with bullets. - Yeah, you make them expensive. - Oh no, Chris Rock. - Chris Rock. - Yeah, he's like, make each bullet, $25,000 or something. - Yeah, so you make cigarettes, $100. - I'm gonna kill you. - Yeah. - I'm gonna save up. They better not do bullets on lay away. - I'm just, I don't have enough money to be addicted. - Yeah. And by the way, they were so cheap back in the day. That's why they gave them the soldiers and everybody. 'Cause they're like, there you go. - Yeah. - They. - Yeah. - It's population control. - Yeah. - It really is. It's for soldiers you need. - I would need to spend a lot of time. - It just lets you know that truth is very contextual. If you're a soldier, it's like, our drugs illegal. - No. - Are you gonna go, hey man, go out and kill these people but make sure you're sober when you do it. - Also, I need you to feel. - Yeah. - I need you to process all of this. - Yeah. - Where you at? - I don't know, I'm gonna get a little violent. Give them those mushrooms that Vikings used to take that would make them go berserker mode. - Yeah. - Like give them something where you go. Hey, buddy. - Yeah. - Listen, I understand you're just doing this so you can have income and safety. - Yeah. - You're some mushrooms. - Yeah. - Then we're gonna let you lose on the people of Iran. - Yeah. Which also makes you think, like, throughout history, probably every army was on something. - Dude, I think every single army had to be on something. - Especially the more I-- - Imagine just fucking raw dog and murder. - Raw dog and D-Day? Raw dog and D-Day? You're raw dog and D-Day? Where they just open the thing? - Let's go. I'm good. You don't wanna hit on my flask? - No, I'm gonna do this. - Yeah, yeah. - I need to do this, why not? - Turn it to the guy. He's like, you still drinking? No, it's not good for my health. You know, I was really ruining my family. - You know what? - It was making my inflammation real bad. And he goes, cool. So they have machine gun turrets on the top of all these hills. - Yeah, as soon as we open this door, there's a 97% chance the first six lines of us are gone. - And best case scenario, you survive all this. Some guy named Steven Spielberg's gonna make a movie that brings you right back to it. (laughing) - I always thought that was like, they were like bragging about saving private ride. They're like, it's so realistic. You go, don't show it to World War II victims. That's crazy. That's like they're gonna do an, they're gonna do an Epstein movie in 20 years ago. The other sh*t, and you go, yeah! - I brought my dad to Hamburger Hill when we got back from summer camp. This is me and my friend. - Yeah. - And my dad's a war veteran. And you know, he should take us to the movies. And so we took him to Hamburger Hill. He didn't know what the movie was. And my dad lost it in the movie that he lost it. - Yes. - He lost it. - Yes, started cursing. - Really? - Oh yeah, it was a whole thing. I told the story on Rogan. It's basically, he just lost. He just started cursing at us, yelling in the movie theater. You know, it was a packed movie theater. - Sure. - And then he walked out. And then when we got in the car, he was still gone. So he started to drive in. And he's turned around yelling at us. And we were like, nine. Or whatever. And he's like, how would you like it if fucking Yankee died in your arms? Yankee, my friend, my friend is crying. - Jesus. - He's like, how would you like it if your friend died in this? What kind of fucking shit did you bring me to? Fucking, yelling, yelling, yelling. And my friend is crying. And then there's complete silence. There's just complete silence. And all I hear is my friend, like (laughs) he's just doing that post cry. - Yeah. - And then my dad just turns around calmly. After we're swerving all over the play, lost it. Turns around he goes, you guys want to get some pizza? - No. (laughs) - So funny. You, him doing the look back you did in the river, he goes, you guys feel like pizza? - Yeah, he gets it just calming. - After he's like, yeah, what the fucking hell I went through? - It was really my, it was crazy. - Yeah, I mean, there was, yeah, it happened a few times. One time we were walking on the, we were on the upper west side. And a car tire popped. Like someone got a flat and it popped. And he fucking crawled under the car. - Yeah, dude, that's very hard. - That was great. And then you look at his eyes and there was-- - He's there. - He, no, no, he was like, nobody-- - No, he's back there. - Yeah, yeah, it's such a weird look. And when you're a kid, it's a weird, you know-- - Do you think, I don't know if this is a stretch or not, do you think your dad's PTSD for more helps you get ready for when he was old and he died? 'Cause you kind of like watched him be in, like vulnerable in a state? - No, I think it, I think, I think, I think, you know, they've done studies on this too. I think it kind of, you take some of it. I think it, you get, when you're raised with those dysregulated nervous systems, people who are in survival mode, I think it gets on you a little bit. - Yeah. - I had to like, therapy to understand all of it. Like, both my parents, my mother lived through German, Nazi occupation as a little girl. And then he actually, there was another time, this was the weirdest one. The weirdest one was we were in DC. We went into a liquor store where my brother lived. And it was owned by Koreans or like Chinese or whatever, they were Asian. And I'm no fina, you know how it is. - You get what I'm saying, right? - Yeah. - Yeah, I don't even think they know to be honest with you. You know when they get mad at us, it's like, I don't even think they know. - It's like, it's like a punch out of the clouds. - Yeah, we're like, we're like, Malaysia. - Yeah. - So we're standing online and my dad starts looking at the woman, right? And he's like this, right? And he starts, and he's just, he has this somber look on his face to the point where she was like glancing up at him. And like she noticed, it was like this kind of like, he was almost asking for forgiveness. It was the weirdest, and he was gone. He was just like in his own world. And I was just watching him to the point where it made the woman so uncomfortable. She goes, "Sir, I forgive you." And then he snapped out of it like, yeah. Like he was doing something for her to know. - She notices, she felt it. - Sir, I forgive you. - It's like staring at her with this look. - To say sir, I forgive you. Like she wanted it to stop. And it was like, and he like snapped out of it. - Yeah, man. - That's fucking nuts. - True story just exactly as it was wild. - There was no mental health before 2010. - No, no, they called it shell shock. My dad said-- - That was a carlin' bit. - Yeah, I got a little shell shock. You just, so he got the rash like with the, he had, so he actually when he came back, my dad did a year, and then when he came back, he'd spent a month in a, in a hospital. - Because of-- - With with shell shocks, with a car shock. - Yeah, coming to grips with like brutal. - Dude, dude, that like generation that fought in World War II, any war, dude, you look at the numbers of like the Korean War, how many people we lost. And you're like, and they just came back and they were like, hey, we need you back at work? - Yeah. - Hey, we need you to go back at work. And you're like, yeah, I mean, it's like, we talk about the social talking of coming out of a knockout. Imagine coming out of a war and talking and being like, yeah, the Yankees are good this year. "I can't sleep." So here's how the mind is such an interesting thing, how it like protects you and does these things to make sure you can handle things. He told me two stories that encapsulate this very well. Like one speaking of that is like when he came back, he was living in Brooklyn, Flappershire area, and he went like his, he's all different. He just came back from combat. But everything else is the same. So he explained it like it's this weird thing, you know? It's like, so he was walking, he went to, he went up the staircase to the train station, there was a guy selling papers. It was, hey Chris, you know where you've been, I haven't seen you. And it was just weird moment he had where like he was like, where have I been? Like he couldn't, it was too reality. Like oh, this is just every day kind of thing. It was like, he time traveled. And it was like, that's got to be such a long, but gotta be a weird moment. 'Cause also you think about. Like everything's the same, but different at the same time. He spends a year being in a place he doesn't want to be watching halacia shit. And probably, I don't know, you know, I'm thinking about how I would handle it. You're thinking about being back in Flappershire. You're thinking about being in Brooklyn. You're thinking about, oh, at home, I'd buy a paper at the train station, you know? And then he's like, comes back and he's like, you guys don't even realize what I saw. That question, where you been? He goes, well, it's a loaded, yeah, it's a load. It's like, yeah, I wasn't in Florida. I can say that, you know? I was overseas. Yeah, I was in hell. He also described it as hell. He goes, it's hell. And it's pandemonium. It's like, because career was like, probably like, you look at it historically, it was like, it was one of those first wars that we have now where people just launch artillery at each other. So like World War One, World War Two, people were like shooting at each other. There was a trench warfare. There was also mustard gas and tank. Now, it's just this impersonal kind of. Yeah. So my dad was actually. Just destruction from afar. And his role was calling in the artillery. So he would actually call in the artillery, because he was a lieutenant. He would call in the artillery. Douglas McArthur's son was in charge of that theater war. And so he would speak to him directly and call in the artillery. So he would gas like, logistically, where they are. And then he'd just launch. And then you'd just see. Like afterwards, they'd go and then they would check the bodies for intel and shit like that. So that's what my dad would do. Yeah. And so it's just. Yeah, coming back and being fucking. It's just a hamburger hill worst movie. Yeah, you just know that you were a part and you're looking at all these dead bodies. I don't know how you do. I don't know how. I'll probably say that's my. Are you part to mentalize that? Yeah. I know what you're doing, you have a bad set. That's as far as I can go is what you want to do. You want to get up as quick as possible. We'll never fucking know that. But I also think that's also like the thing that bums me out the most about America is that we don't take care of these guys more when they come home. Especially being the age. Oh, yeah. I was, you know, I was a freshman in high school, I mean, a freshman in college when 9/11 happened. I know you're older, but my friends that I went to high school with some of them, some guys I knew, signed up for the Marines 18 years old out of high school, 9/11 happens. You're in the action. You're not going to a parking garage in Germany. You're going to fucking the front line. Yeah, it's a war. And then you just, and then watching the whole Iraq war and guys come back from Fallujah, and then there's just like this, no, there's no like program to go like, all right, we gotta. They've made some progress with that with the, they have. Wounded warriors, does some stuff. Yeah, they've made some progress too with the PTSD stuff. But it's all stuff, PTSD stuff. They've made some progress. Ketamine's one of them. Iawaska. Iawaska. Yeah, psychedelics. And then the trauma therapy, the kind of, the EMDR helped, they've made some dogs help too. You know the EMDR, you know how popular it is right now? I was a, I was supposed to do a trial of that when I was 16, and I did not take it seriously. And I had like all of this advanced therapy at my fingertips and just did not take it seriously. I didn't know what it was. It was, it's a light where you follow it. And what they do is they feel like they can activate the frontal lobe of your brain, which is holding on to stuff. That's they're afraid of. You're holding on to the front. It's not processing to the back. That's how I was explaining to me. It's not processing the memories. It's, we relive them. I'm stored right. And my sister was killed a year before that. So they were in the car accident. So my mom was like, I just, yeah. It's just your story just something. Yeah, but my mom was like, I got, and I keep walking forward. He's dead, dude. Yeah. Your sister. My aunt, car. But I, I can relate. My mom was like, um, limp in a, you know. Junior year was tough. I see your years gave me a lot better. Your friend throws you over the shoulder, runs you out of the car. Those guys are real. That's real. That's real trauma. For me, it was like, you know, I had a thing. No, no, no. Trauma's trauma. I mean, that's traumatic, dude. Listen to people. Yeah. Yeah. But they were like, Hey, we're going to do this thing at DU, at Denver University. There was a therapist there that was doing it. That was working in that. It was like trial runs. Literally a trial run. So my mom was like, it's free. So please, you need therapy. And I was so not taking it seriously, that I would just like smoke a blunt and go in and talk to this lady about a girl that I had a crush on that didn't like me. You were goodwill hunting and just sitting there going like, you know what it's like in turns my thing is when the beat stops. Dude, it really was like a thing where she was like, okay, you're, she was like, you're not, you're not taking this seriously. And then as I've gotten older, the first time I saw it come back was, there was a script and billions where they're talking about it and they're like, it's the most advanced form of dealing with trauma. And I was like, yo, I tried to do that in high school, and I fucking was like, this shit's gay. I don't want to do this. I want to go hang out with my boys. Yeah. But it's crazy. I see that now and I go. I can see why. Yeah. It's probably, but you're right. PTSD as far as dealing with it and stuff. They've gotten better at it. It's still a thing. Shout out wounded warriors. Shout out all these like these places that it's, it's ran by former vets to take care of vets that actually know what they need, they need housing, they need help with, you know. Yeah, we do not take care of them enough. It's brutal. With the amount of military budget we have, and I don't give a shit. What's out of the aisle? You're on, as an American, you should be like, guys, we're wasting 97 trillion on missiles to shoot at drones in Iran. How about we put a couple of these boys up at a house where they can get their brains right? Yeah. Yeah. Before we put them back out in society. He had told me that gave me perspective on like people was and war. He said, so he got decorated, right? So it was like a big battle where they held the line against the Chinese. And so he was decorated, right? So he had like a bronze star, Greek king gave him one because it was the Greek battalion. He was a liaison officer with the American army, with the Greek battalion, because NATO was there. Oh, yeah. So he was like, and he can speak. He could speak. So that's why. And so he had the medal, right? He'd fucking, he never had him up. They were always and I found it and I was like, proud of it. I was like, you know, you're at your decorator, and he said, he said, the reason they give this medal, son, is because you can't pin a medal on a dead guy. Damn. And I just remember that. Damn. That's like a, you go, well, do you want me to put it back in your desk? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I, can I have it? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Oh cool. A little more metal. Dad what's the meaning of this? He goes, you know, sometimes. Yeah. Death isn't the answer to you. Yeah. Can I have this stuff? Yeah. That's like selfishness of a kid. This is cool though. I still think this is cool. I, I talk to Yannis and then I look and I go, geez. Yeah. I got a good time. Tell me what I want. Um, watch history. Yannis. Watch the specials on YouTube. Yannis is one of the best stand-up comics. He's also just one of the funniest people best people I know. I fucking love him the death. And I was really happy. I didn't see you in a while and I was, yeah. Please come to the podcast. Yeah. Thank you. See me in Philly. Come see me in Philly. Through it, I'll feel it. This is probably going to come out way after. Oh. Next time he's around. Philly, Austin. Just go to Yannis Pappas comedy. Yeah, go to YannisPappas comedy. Yannis Pappas comedy. Comedy. Cause somebody fucking took YannisPappas.com. Never found anything they won the game. But they didn't cause I put the word comedy. And now you know what you're going for. Yeah. And yeah. It's no more net anymore. I was rocking with net for a while. Oh fuck. I'd rather you have N.E.U. I'd rather have YannisPappas.edu. Yeah. I had the-- Yeah. Her third airline is web addresses. You were running that greyhound at the internet. Yeah. Yeah.