Not Today, Fascists

At Harmony Bank, we believe that better happens together. We're a locally owned bank, built on relationships and personally committed to your success. Our community bankers are ready to make quick decisions. No big bank bureaucracy, just a custom approach to help you thrive. From business loans to mortgages and everyday banking needs, Harmony Bank provides a secure, modern experience with a touch of Texas hospitality. We're Harmony Bank, where better happens together. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gayatriots, Vatriots, Blacktriots, Browntriots, it's election day. We love you. We're going to go do this. And every single MF-er in this country that either doesn't vote or has the idiotic idea to pull up to your polling site and vote for a Republican, they can do what? Pumps. Fuck off! And go fuck yourself. Yeah, fuck off and then yourself. Yeah, in that order. Josh Welch is here today. Josh. Hello, hello. What have you had it with? Well, I've had it with several things, but I'm going to try to narrow this down. Okay. Because I realize time is of the essence. By the way, everyone go vote today. Everybody get out. We have to win this today. We all feel really good about this. I've had it with spouses who do something or say something or show you something and have an expectation that you should have the same level of enthusiasm for that thing that they do, that they get mad at you. Do you know what I'm talking about, Pumps? No, but I think there's a story here and I'd very much like to hear it. And what brought this to my attention was our friends, JVN and Mark, they were telling us a story. Mark was telling us a story. About how JVN said something, I think, about a certain tennis player to Mark and Mark didn't really care about that tennis player, showed zero enthusiasm for what JVN was saying. And then JVN got mad at Mark, was pissed off at Mark. And so then it got me to thinking in my life with Jennifer, who's a very just mild-mannered, sweet, loving, adorable, huggy person, affectionate, all those things. Got me thinking about my relationship with her and has that ever happened with her? And so then as I'm thinking about that, I reminded myself of all of the times that she maybe put an outfit on and said, hey, do you like this? And maybe I didn't respond with the proper level of enthusiasm or she told me a joke or she told me a story and it just really wasn't that interesting to me. And then I got in trouble. She could tell that I wasn't interested. Then I was put to time out in the Welch house by the principal, by the sheriff, as we refer to her. And in a specific example, and she loves Rafael Nadal. I do love him. And she sends me, and she knows that I'm a Roger Federer fan. And so she sends me Nadal stuff all the time, him doing. I miss him doing that. And I love him. I mean, he's a, who does, who doesn't love him? He's an amazing person, like an amazing tennis player. One of the greatest of all times. King of clay. King of clay. But I just don't share that level of enthusiasm that she does for Nadal. And I feel like there's this effort on her part to make me be enthusiastic about the same things that she's enthusiastic about. And I don't feel like I have to be. Let me ask you this. Do you, I will, I will concede to everything. And I will say guilty as charged counselor, guilty as charged. Do you think that you also do this? That was going to be my question. Do you think that when you show an outfit or a haircut or something, and if I don't show the right level of enthusiasm, it could completely derail your entire day? Let me ask. Yes or no? Yes. Let me answer that. Because there's a distinction. Okay. Sometimes. If I'm telling you a story or something that I think is important, not only do you not just feign any interest in it, you quit listening about halfway in, just abort it altogether. Just say, fuck it. I'm not going to listen to this anymore. I don't like it. At least I try to plow through the entire fucking story before I do it. You just fucking check out, you know, it goes back to this other grievance, like a few weeks ago that we talked about where we send things into this. You know, it's another thing. She's not even engaged in what we're saying. She just hearts it, moves on. And then we mentioned the post to her like a day or two later. And she's like, well, what are you talking about? I go, no, we sent that to you. You hearted it. She's like, oh. I talked last week about a tubby suicide attempt on the streets of Manhattan and how mad you were at me and the whole walk home, how mad you were at me about that. Would you elaborate for the listeners so they can hear your side? So, number one, and this is a perfect example. She's very enthusiastic about walking the dogs. Very enthusiastic. She's a very intense dog walker. Like, she's got a regiment. And I want them to be walked, but I'm not near as enthusiastic about this as she is. But anyway, we're on this walk. I get the job of pushing tubby in the stroller because he's old. He's got arthritis. And I enjoy it. I love it. And she power walks. When she walks with no thought as to where the other people are that are walking with her. And if she can cut a corner or she can cross a certain way and the light is green or you can walk, then she's all about darting and doing that with no thought as to what I'm doing with the stroller and tubby. And so we're walking down this sidewalk that has like one small lane because there's construction going on. And I've got the stroller and the way she maneuvers is like she gets way up there and she's starting to leave us and tubby senses that he can't see her and just does a suicide dive out of the stroller onto the pavement. And I'm just like, God damn, can you just fucking wait a second? Like nobody's chasing us. Just fucking stop. He was so mad. So fucking mad. And then and and so I want to I want to clean this up for the listener real fast. My agreement. So my grievance is not sharing enthusiasm, the same enthusiasm. That you have for something I shouldn't have to. It's not a responsibility I have. But secondly, the difference in us is that not only do you not share the same level of enthusiasm I have, you abort, you jump out altogether. You don't even pay attention to the second half of what it is I'm saying. Or if I'm wearing a sweater, you may and I may come in and say, hey, does this look good? You may do it once over with a very enthusiastic. Yeah, it looks good. Looks fine. Looks like all your other stuff. Yeah, and that's. And so, you know, at least I try to feign interest in this shit. I try to at least fake it and say, yeah, man, that looks great. Or, yeah, Rafa, he's great. Yeah, he's a great. You know, I try to do something. But you just like you throw it in the tank and just. Yeah. Listener, I just I'm going to say guilty as charged. It's sometimes these stories that Josh starts telling and then they go. And I just it's true at this stage in the marriage. I have just given myself permission to abort. I have given myself permission to engage in spontaneous abortion. It is just I'm just like, you know, I'm not interested in this. This doesn't interest me. And then I'll just kind of just pick up and start doing what I'm doing. Is it terrible? Is it awful? Yes. Am I bad? Why for these things? A hundred percent. I don't want to be right. If sometimes I just I need to just abort. the conversation because Josh will, let me tell you what I've had it with and we'll get since we're going to just pick on each other. Isn't this great for you? Okay. So, um, here's my, what I've had it with. I've had it when you're on the phone with a spouse and the spouse has no reason to call you other than they are driving from point a to point b yes and want you to clap like a fucking seal the whole time and entertain them they could they don't put on a song they've decided i have i am going to take a hostage i'm going to get in this car and i'm going to i'm going to engaged in hostage taking and then if the hostage isn't compliant i'm going to be a victim and shame the hostage. That's what I'm going to do. So Josh calls me and he has to drive Oh, no, no, no. no, no, no. And then, so I have to stay on the phone with him. If I do, he's like, well, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to talk to you. You're like, no, you didn't. But listen to this, the second, then let's say, then the conversation actually gets, it's flat, flat, flat. And then it actually starts getting momentum when we're talking about something juicy. Finally, I'm engaged in it. The second that MFR pulls up to the gym or to the courthouse, he's like, I got to go by click. What I wanted to do initially, which just, I've got to let you go by click. He denies my ability to do that, holds me hostage, makes me feel guilty with a lot of emotional manipulation tactics that can only be rivaled by foreign government espionage agencies. And then he does what I want to do. Then he beats me to the punch. And then he big times me first. I got to let you guys just pull up to the gym. Yeah. But I think in a marriage, there's an implied contract that you get to do that stuff. People, the other person is going to be held hostage during certain periods of time. Like if the other spouse is doing something that's pretty boring or dull or driving or I think they're, but yeah. And I've done that before. All right. Listen, our holiday travel is about to enter its high season. I don't know about you, but when you go to the airport, you've got to have a suitcase that makes sense. 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Head to nobletravel.com for up to 67% off your entire order. That's nobletravel.com for up to 67% off. And after you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that our show sent you. But let me tell you now, Jennifer, she runs a tight ship on stuff. So I trust me. I'm not abusing that privilege. Because if I were to, we all know Jennifer, she would just be like, Hey, got to go click. She's not going to stay on that long. She, she, she, she knows that. And so, but, but I'm guilty as charged. Like I do. Then the favorite, of course I love to do, and we all do this to each other sometimes is whenever you call the person and it's kind of a pain to ask for them to take the call. And then you get another call. You just be like, Oh, I got to go. He does that to me all the time. All the time. On these calls where he's, he's like, I want to spend time with you. You're in New York and I'm in Oklahoma city and I'm, I've got this 10 minute drive. And then he gets a better offer. Yeah. And that's what it's about. It's like, I got to let you go. That's totally what it's about. Enough about us. Let's listen to the star of our show. Well, I don't, how am I going to fall? How am I going to fall out of that? Well, this is why you're, you're, this is why it's always been somewhat of a throuple because you just enjoy. I love this so much because I know the exact behavior on both sides. I know the exact behavior on both sides. I know the exact that you're both bitching about and it makes me so happy. And I will piggyback onto this. My boys do this to me. Like they never call me. They never are interested. I could be dead for five years and they wouldn't know the difference. But if they're in the car, they want to call. And so finally the last few months, I'm just like, okay, well, is that it? Okay. I got to go. And they're like, well, why don't you want to talk to us? I'm like, we're, we don't have anything to say. Hostage taking phone calls for selfish entertainment. Exactly. Who's the bigger culprit of that? Luke used to be Sam, but I've kind of trained him. Now it's Luke. He just wants to call because, well, I kind of brought this on myself a little bit because I'm like, the only reason you call me as many. So when he calls, I'm just like, what do you want? Like, we'll get, he'll be like, Hey, what are you doing? I'm like, okay, what do you want? Because I know you're not calling me around as he's trying to get to the money part later. Right. He wants to dance around. And I'm just like, just tell me what it is. And then now he's just trying to act like that's really not what he does. So he wants to call and it's only for the 10 minutes in the car. And I fucking hate that, but here's what I've had it with. Okay. So, and I know we've had this on the show before, but I had not been reminded of it in so fucking long. I was at a hotel last weekend, 10th floor. So I go to the elevator, mom, about three-year-old. Walk out to the elevator bank. She runs up and presses the down button that I've already hit, but that's fine. Whatever. We get on, she barrels onto the elevator and pushes every single button. We're on the 10th fucking floor. Every single button up, down, all of them. I don't think she knew that, you know, up, down, she wasn't that old. And I had already kind of walked on when I saw this and her mom was like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And her mom was like, now we're going to have to stop at every floor. And I just turned around and got off the elevator. And I, and she was like, you don't want to get on this one. I go, no, I'll just wait for the next one. But I'm just like, don't let your kid hit every button on the way down. If you want to do up and down all day long without another person, go for it. I encourage it. Do not make somebody else be the victim of that. I thought that was bullshit and I've had it. Did anyone else get on the elevator and have to endure part of that? Well, I don't know. Cause I got off. So I don't know if nine, eight. I do have to say that I do something that's three-year-old did that I identified with. And it's, I'll walk up when somebody's waiting for the elevator and the button will be illuminated down. And I go ahead and do just a backup check to it. I go ahead and check it. And as you said that, that the three-year-old did that and you're like, okay, whatever. And I was thinking guilty as charged yet again, I do that. And what an asshole. I mean, cause when you described the three-year-old do it, I thought, God, what an asshole. And I was like, well, I don't know. What a little prick that three-year-old is. And then, you know, multiply that by several, several, several years. And I'm doing that shit. So I really need to check myself on walking up after somebody has already illuminated it and me just going and pushing it again. You're thinking that your press is supreme. I think of it as you, when you do it, I just think that you're like, you're get, you, you get shit done. There's no idle motion. There's no inefficiency. It's like, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk. I'm pushing it just as a. I think it's a, uh, an arrogance, a narcissism that my ears is better. My push is superior than the original push. Because when he said that I kind of identified with that. I really need to check my, uh, elevator pushing ego. Listen, we're going to, we're, we're going to work on this together. One might say that we could maybe take that small principle and apply that to other facts. We really wanted to be creative on this program. We could stretch it a little bit. We're going to break ground on the elevator. Maybe there's more to do. All right. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to I've had it. Today is the day to tell MAGA, the Supreme court, every coward, chicken shit, coward, Republican, all of your MAGA neighbors, all of your dipshit MAGA coworkers, the oligarchs, all of these people in the world that we have had it. We have had it up to our eyeballs with this fuckery, with this depravity, with this degeneracy. And I want to do a little new story before I bring Kylie on. The Republican closing message has been very simple. It's been pretty gay. I mean, it's just, we've been whistleblowing on this for a long time. And a lot of people were pretty critical of us. And I was just like, I have excellent gaydar. And anyway, so there's new and analysis that has been conducted on one of Trump's major campaign pitches. Let's go ahead and pop this up. Trump's references to people's bodies has almost tripled new analysis finds. The Washington Post Sun analyzed transcripts of more than 4,600 Trump appearances between January 15th and October 27, 2026. Finding that a president is on track to set a new monthly record for appearance related remarks in October, while Trump is on track to set a new monthly record for appearance related remarks in October, while Trump is on track to set a new monthly record for appearance related remarks in October, while Trump is on track to set a new monthly record for appearance related remarks in October, while Trump's earlier surge in appearance related remarks around the 2024 election, and that was the Arnold Palmer-Cock era, was fueled partly by insults targeting political opponents. His latest increase has been driven largely by compliments. References to men being handsome, good-looking, and other flattering descriptions have climbed sharply, while appearance-based insults have fallen from their earlier peak. The analysis also found that Trump's comments on men's appearances considerably more frequently than women's particularly when excluding routine references to beautiful wives or victims of crimes. Axios has compiled some of Trump's gayest moments from the midterm. Let's play that clip. Examined his ass. Somebody said he's a nice looking man. I never noticed. He is a nice looking man. I looked at his ass and I looked at the whole and then I looked at his hands. Look at that jawline. I'm telling you, I never studied him. And now I study him. You want a secretary of state to look exactly like that, a little bit nerdy. And that's good. I wish Tim didn't look that good. You know, he's a very handsome guy. I don't like handsome guys. I never like handsome men. But these are handsome, beautiful. These are like central casting guys. Rick Jackson's a very handsome, distinguished, beautiful looking guy. And that goes on and on. That's just a part of it. And so that doesn't have, you know, the Arnold Palmer and a lot of the other stuff. And I just want to say this. To the Gaytriot community on this here podcast, obviously, we all know that we want to embrace the LGBTQ plus community and have no issue whatsoever if somebody has to be closeted. Like some people live in really rough places like Oklahoma or Mississippi or Alabama or Texas. And the anti-gay bigotry is just horrific. And the anti-gay bigotry. The anti-gay bigotry comes from people that are in that movement, that MAGA movement. And then that old queen in his, you know, deathbed confession era is out there. If he could get it up, he'd be hard in these rallies. He's just unable to get it up. But I think also, Pumps always points out all the blood is in the ankle, so it can't travel to the penis. But I think he's frustrated because he can't get it up. So he's very, he is, these are verbal erections. We are watching a president who is impotent, who is engaging in verbal erections and objectifying all of these Republican men. And I don't support objectifying people, but I support this. I support him telling all the homophobes how hot he thinks they are. And this couldn't happen to a better movement, this turn of events. That this old queen, this guy you thought was an alpha male, likes to listen to opera, engage in decorating projects. And if he could beat off, he'd be beaten off to Senator Husted. Natalie harps a beard. This whole time she's been a beard. And so has Melania. Pumps, I'll let you take a stab at that first. Here's the thing. I mean, when Jennifer said in the very beginning of Trump 2.0, or maybe it was during the campaign, I can't remember, but it was very early on. The more to the dementia comes, the more the deathbed confession era is going to start. You called it way early. You're exactly, exactly right. And it just kind of, it makes me wonder because we hear so much about the clausocrity. Is that how you say it in Washington? Clausotocracy. Clausotocracy. And you can spot them. I mean, you can just go down the list of all these people that are screaming about, you know, homosexuals and gay people and transgender. And all of them. And all of those people, as it turns out, are the ones crashing Grindr. And I think Trump feels such a kinship with that because I think he feels that. And I mean, just wouldn't it? I mean, again, I do not believe medically he can get it up because there's just not enough blood flow. But what I would give if he was one of the people on Grindr with his little fat hands. And I just had to point out in that clip, he talks about he looked how good looking he was and the size of his hands. Going. Back. Yeah. Decades. All right. I think everybody loves to do a fall revamp with their home. I recently got an article on their online store. 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That's article.com slash had it for $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more. When you look at the people that are propping up MAGA, you have Matt Schlapp. Matt Schlapp is a conservative commentator, a member of all these conservative, horrific, you know, pro MAGA think tanks that have the crosses and, you know, Jesus is king in the bios. His wife's name is Mercedes Schlapp. She has a Bible verse in her family value Bible verse in her Twitter profile. Matt Schlapp allegedly goes to all of these CPAC conferences, gets all liquored up and starts grabbing conservatives. And so this goes on. And then we have Mike Waltz, who was in the group chat, the signal group chat with the thumb up, the fire emoji. Mike Waltz used to follow an account called Big Dick Bottom. And that's not just a mistake. Like Big Dick Bottom is pretty specific. It's a pretty specific type of genre of gay sex, I would say. It's very specific. So obviously that wasn't an accident. And, you know, everybody's seen the new documentary about the late Lady Graham, which I also just want to point out. Nobody talks anymore. Lady Graham's dead. The only thing that's come out is, hey, by the way, we're sex workers and he used to hire us to have sex with him. And he liked to be called a F word. And the more I called him the F word, the harder he got is what the sex worker said. Nobody says, God, you know, Lindsey Graham's legacy, blah, blah. And just to be. To be fair, people talk about John McCain. They talk about his legacy of being a maverick. They talk about his legacy of saving health care with his thumb up, though. They talk about him calling out that Islamophobe at his rally who was trying to say that Obama was a terrorist and he wouldn't have it. Crickets. Crickets on Lady Graham, except for from the gay sex workers. Although President Trump did overturn those tariffs and that bipartisan piece of legislation was. Named after Lindsey Graham. And so they were they asking, do you remember that? Like, oh, the Russia stuff. Yeah, the Russia stuff. So he and so he's pissing on Lady Graham's grave. Exactly. Well, and all I've heard from it's so funny now because nobody it was not a secret that Lindsey Graham was gay. Everybody knew it. But I've seen so many politicians that have have acknowledged that. Yeah, everybody knew he was gay. They all knew they all knew. And he just took a steaming dump on people. People that were in his same community. He sucks. So let me say the only thing I want to say about the Trump, you know, his his gay speeches. Yes, I would refer to them as being I have a lot of herbal erections, herbal erections. I have a lot of empathy for that poor son of a bitch at the Washington Sun who had to review forty six hundred over eleven years. Who the fuck wants to do that? I imagine having to look at eleven years worth of dog shit that that guy says. Like, I mean, I thought the same thing. I'm like, who is that poor motherfucker? There's not a bottle of Adderall big enough to get me to give up full front and center and say I'm out. I fire me at the Washington Sun. I'm not reading another thing. This motherfucker, right? Oh, man. All right. Kylie Josie, the executive producer of this here show, is here. Oh, look, she's got a tie on. She got all that to represent the less street. Where's the fire? Emoji on the screen. Fire. It's a fire festival at the I've had it podcast studio. All right. I've got a review, Josh, that I picked out after hearing your hat. It just sounds like you're not being fulfilled in this area enough. So a listener said to Josh, five stars. I love your sweater today, Josh. Jen and Jen, Josh, the three of you are national treasure. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. That is excellent. I need it. I mean, I need any kind of ego boost I can get when I'm over here with this one. I think your ego is pretty good. I'm not really worried about your ego. Yeah. I mean, that's, I love. I love to do that. Here's my favorite. You know, somebody has, Josh is charming and Josh is lovely and Josh is fun. Josh is not easy. And so I agree that, you know, I could probably be a better listener. I agree. I could slow down on my walking. But to everybody who thinks. Josh is easy. I always would tell Pops and she would go, "That's right. You get him, you take him for a spin him around the block about 10 times. See if you make it around the block 10 times before you drop his ass back off to me. Yeah, that's a good point. It's a good point. But I want all of the listeners and viewers, write it if you think I've been victimized. Oh gosh, here we go. We got to flee. Just feel free to put it in the comments. Like, don't be shy. Don't be bashful. She loves everybody. She can take it. But if you feel like I do, like literally, like, like I've been shamed and victimized during the course of this. Yeah. Feel free to say it. Please do. Okay. Last review, five stars voted and work in them polls and 19 care bear 97 says, Hey, my girlies and Josh voted here in Texas and work in the polling stations for all of early voting. You guys are the best. You keep hope alive for us. Blue dots drowning in these red seas. Come on, blue dot. Let's go on blue dots. Here is the plan because the Democrats don't want to do it. They want to do it. They want to do it. They want to do it. They don't have a national plan, but we're going to start a blue dot plan. The blue dot committee, the blue top bit, the blue dot, big titty committee. If I've had it, that's going to be our pack. The blue dot, big titty committee is, is here's the plan. We're going to go from turning Ruby red districts, pink. And then after that, it's going to take multiple election cells. And then we go from pink to purple and then purple to, uh, light blue. And then from light blue to big titty blue. And that's the plan. And it's going to take multiple cycles, but our goal is voting to just take away some of that red to pinking up that red is still so, so, so important. Yeah. All right. Before we get to the user video, um, you may remember last episode, uh, we were talking about Katie Miller and of course her podcast, which we talked about a lot. Um, she, there was a vanity fair expose where all of the people were basically saying we're forced to be her friends and we hate her and she's a total bitch and we can't stand to be around her. And she asked us to go on the podcast and we have to say yes. And she asked us to go to dinner and we have to say yes, because her husband's super powerful, but we hate her and she's miserable and insufferable. So pumps did an investigation into who could have been the source of this vanity fair article, considering they had to have been a podcast guest. Right. Okay. So I went over the whole list. Here are my top five, Laura Ingram, Marco and Jeanette Rubio, Cash Patel and Alexis Wilson, Dr. Oz, Kellyanne Conway. And I'm going to tell you what I think. This is how I came to it. I think it's the Rubios and here's why. I think they have hitched their wagon to Trump despite knowing he's pathetic and gross and has to do it because they have gone all chips in. Marco has sold his soul, but he must hate it and he must hate them. So I think it was them. Obviously it could be Laura Ingram, but I don't know. So out of that, Kellyanne Conway, what'd you think about her as an option? I'm going, I'm going the country music sensation. You think it's Alex? A hundred percent. I think, I think it's Alexis Wilkins because it's such a risky thing to say. And I, I have a hard time, thinking that Marco operates from a position of abject fear. He is terrified of Donald Trump. He is terrified. I don't know if they have something on him. I don't know what the deal, Alexis is a little more liberated per Cash Patel's tweet. She's, you know, done more for America than most of us had in 10 lifetimes. I, I, and I think she would be the one that would be that Lucy Goosey with the quote. I'm going to throw my hat, my vote for Kellyanne Conway, because I think, she's old enough. She just doesn't really give a fuck anymore. I mean, she's not as involved and I just could see her having zero fucks to give about Katie Miller. Seriously. I could see, I could totally see that. All right. So you let us know in the comment section who you think the leaker is. And then Kylie, let's hear from our Patriots. Okay. First we've got a Gen Z couple. Ladies. Hello, Kylie. Hello, everybody. We, uh, we are fellow hatreds. Yes. My name's Drake and this is justice. Um, and, um, uh, shoot. Uh, what do you think about socks? Justice? I have no opinion. Ankle socks are stupid. And I feel like sometimes people make silly socks, their whole personality. Um, and, uh, STDs. I don't have any STDs. I just got cleared yesterday. I'm all good. And, um, uh, what was the other thing? Oh, why are we voting? Oh, we're voting because America is going to vote. We're voting because America is going to vote. We're voting because America is going to destroy itself and destroy the world. So, uh, I'm voting for our democracy after the 2024 election. Kamala Harris losing was just, uh, just threw me into politics like crazy. And I just have left sense and my mind's going insane. Um, but anyway, what's your, I've had it. I've had an evangelical Christians, specifically Jehovah's witnesses. That's where I came from. I'm tired of these types of people feeling like they're moral, morally superior to everyone. When they don't help anything with the environment, they don't help anything with politics. They hate gay people. They're racist. And they're all a bunch of fucking losers. I think they're all a bunch of fucking losers. I think they're the queens of the world because they read some stupid book. Well, and Jehovah's witnesses are a cult. Yes, yes, they are a cult. And why are they a cult? They're a cult because they shun members, they kill their kids with blood policies, and they don't believe that you should really be educated or go to school. And don't talk to people outside of the original. We wanted to know if you, if you ladies had any experiences with Jehovah's witnesses and if that's something you focused on. You know, I, that is, we have been remiss. Right. And browbeating the Jehovah's witnesses. I mean, we have been completely remiss. Now Jehovah's witnesses, they go door to door. That's where I think my experience. And they don't, don't, they don't, they don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas. Right. That's the only thing I know about them is they don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas. And I used to live like when I was in law school, I lived across the street from a church or temple. I can't remember what they called it. They never knocked on my door, but I don't, I don't know. That's the, I really just don't know anybody who's a Jehovah's witness. I remember I went to high school and I was like, I don't know anybody who's a Jehovah's witness. I remember I went to high school with a kid and he, or junior high and high school with a kid and he was Jehovah's witness. And like, we went to his birthday party, but it wasn't a birthday party. It was this really weird, like loophole that his mother had found for all of us to meet up at the skating rink to skate. But we all knew it was his birthday, but we couldn't say it was his birthday. And yeah, it's just some weird shit. I mean, can you imagine being a part of religion where you can't celebrate holidays? I just looked up a couple of facts really quick. I want to share with you. Okay. So they refuse blood transfusions, even in life or death. I think that's what she was referencing. They don't celebrate birthdays. They believe only 144,000 people will go to heaven. This is what it says. Everyone else who is saved is expected to live forever on a paradise on earth. So only that select number goes to Jesus. They believe Armageddon will destroy the current world system and they don't celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween. They generally refuse to vote in political elections. They don't celebrate Christmas, Easter, Halloween. They generally refuse to run for office and they don't salute flags or do the Pledge of Allegiance. This forced nationalism. Let people decide if they want to be a patriot. Let people decide if they want to be patriotic. Let people decide if they want to be a Jehovah's Witness. Quit indoctrinating kids into being patriotic little twats that believe in magical thinking. Let them decide for themselves. Teach critical thinking. I think not celebrating Easter and Christmas, I'm down with that too. I really love Christmas. I know you do, but I'm down with them not doing it. Yeah, I'm down with anybody doing whatever they want. And I like them being politically neutral because there's no business of religious zealots being in politics. The blood transfusion stuff is bonkers. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. And 144,000 is bonkers. I wonder where they got that number. I think it's a cult. I agree with the girl who's deconstructed. I think that Jehovah's Witness is very culty. I want to say to the hatreds, they pulled over on the side of the road. She's a speed talker. Oh, I loved it. I loved her. I loved her. If she had a delivery, she would say it. She would boom, boom, boom. But that's sweet of them. They pulled over on the side of the road. They're fans of you ladies. And I mean, that's sweet of the hatreds. I love the hatreds. All right, who's our next hatred? All right, up next, we've got Julissa. All righty. Hello. Thank you so much for everything you do on the show. I'm stuck in traffic, so I decided to just start this video right now. My name is Julissa, and I've been a fan of your show for years. My I've had it is the way that, and this might be Gen Z, bullying other people, but it's the way that women will talk about their friends that are girls and they'll say, oh, my girlfriend, which I feel that Pumps does it a lot. Jen, if you've done it, I probably forgive you because I've always had a crush on you. So you're forgiven. But Kylie, I do want to hear your input as a queer woman. How do you feel about it when people you know will say my girlfriend when they're talking about a friend that's a girl? Because from my perspective, I don't hear guys. talk about their guy friends as boyfriends or You know, there's just so many things to it. Like a girl that's straight, I don't hear her calling a guy as her friend, her boyfriend. So anyway, let me know what you think. And yes, I wear Nike crew socks all the time. And yes, I am Gen Z. God, she has great skin. Great skin. Every person on here with Gen Z has great skin. They all do. It's ridiculous. Because they're Gen Z. They're young. Exactly. Here's the deal. I do that. I do that. Is that bad? Do I just need to start doing that? I've noticed that you do that, but I always say girlfriend, but these are the same girlfriends that y'all took the vibrator on the girls' trip, which Kylie and I are still rather mystified by. We didn't use it. We just figured out how to turn it on because I couldn't figure out how to turn it on. But that's the difference. I also say my guy friend. So I need to quit doing that. I just say friend. But Kylie, she wanted Kylie's input. Yeah. What's your input, Kylie? I agree with her. It's always bothered me. And I've always noticed like my mom does it. So I don't know if it's a generational thing like she's saying, but it's like if I meet strangers and they say, yeah, my girlfriend, I'm kind of like, ooh, we have a lesbian. No, it's a straight person just calling them their girlfriend. So I like getting rid of this. Okay. I'm going to do my best effort. You know, I'm not great at this kind of thing, but I'm going to really, really try. I agree. I think that we need to let the lesbians have the girlfriend and we just need to say friend. Yeah. And it does seem kind of old fashioned. Well, I hate to say it. Say it. But even when I was younger, I don't think I called my friends that were girls, girlfriends. Yeah, I didn't. I don't think I say that. I always just refer to my friends as friends. Yeah, no, I definitely say it. But I'm not like one of these like girl group girlies. Like when I get invited to go to a lunch and it's 10 women, I'm always just like, this is not going to be good. I need to say no. This just cannot be good. And then when I go to them, I, you know, as each person has to, even at a certain time, then that person gets just fucking bashed. I'm like, why are you hanging out with people you just want to bash? So I don't, I don't know. Maybe that's just the women in Oklahoma City, but I just, I find the camaraderie of being a friend with somebody. And then the minute they get up, just like bashing everything about them. I think that's universal about you. I think that if it's a group or 10 or 15 people, you have a window of time that you can be with them. And then once that time hits, you're out. I do too. Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Up next, we've got Sarah. Hi, all. This is Sarah. Millennial, 40, Texas. Yeah, I know, right? I feel bad for myself. Blue dot red state trying to get the fuck out of this bitch. STD free, but I am on Lexapro because motherhood is waxing my ass. So do it that way. First and foremost, and I have to do my lipstick because I'm outside my office. First and foremost, why the fuck is everyone asking me when is my kid getting a ceiling? Didn't I just say I'm on goddamn Lexapro? Why the fuck would I do that to myself? Okay. Some people can handle more than one child. I can't. And guess what? I'm perfectly okay with that. All right. So get off my ass. The second thing is, why in the hell is the whole W2 in the grocery store? Why do I see the whole fucking household in the grocery store standing around the goddamn chicken breast like it's a Frida Kahlo exhibit? Okay. What the fuck is that shit? Especially since I'm in the grocery store. I love that she's, I love the get ready with me while you've had it. Now that's a get ready with me that I'm into, but I love that she's like, and I'm on Lexapro and I'm not going to have another kid. I love everything about her. She is a woman where if I were to refer to my female friends as girlfriends, she would be my girlfriend. No, I want her to be my girlfriend. Now friend too. You know, what's interesting about that? I have had those same grievances with everybody being at Target. It's like, if we have seven people in the family, why are all seven here? Couldn't one adult stay home with these kids? Like, I don't know. That drives me crazy. I hate that. I hated it. Doctors offices. Like when my kids were little and they had to get ear tubes, it was like the grandparents, the aunt, the uncle, the kids, the two siblings. It's like, bitch, why is everybody here? Obviously you have enough adults to bring these other kids and stay at home. I always found that to be odd. I thought she was fantastic. And like you, I liked her, the lipstick, the makeup. Yeah. And her skin was great too. And she was not a millennial. I mean, she wasn't genderly. She had these quick zingers too. Just fantastic. Great outfit too. I loved the brown and white stripe collar up. No notes, 10 out of 10, blue dot, red state, fight the good fight. You're our hashtag girlfriend. Um, uh, now I think I'm going to start saying it just because we're not supposed to. I have that kind of tick mentally where it's like, don't say that anymore. And then all of a sudden, all of my friends are going to be my girlfriends. Um, all right, Kylie, who's next? Okay. Next we've got Jessica. Hi ladies. Hi, beautiful Kylie and gentlemen, Mr. Welch. Uh, my name is Jessica. I was born October 2nd, 1984. So that makes me an elder millennial Libra. Although I was raised with Gen X siblings by boomer parents. So I feel like kind of an honorary Gen X a little bit. Um, my STD status, I have an HPV. It is not detectable anymore. So I am a survivor and I am a blue dot in a red state, Texas. Um, the reason I'm calling is I have a blue dot as my blue dot self is fucking Paxton and Greg Abbott. I remember everything they've done since they've been in power. And I voted in memory of my dear mother, who I know is shaking in her over Ken Paxton being in the Senate race. I mean, really? All right. Yeah. I love that woman. And you know, Texas is a neighbor of Oklahoma. So we vicariously lived through this nightmare that they have had to live through with politicians like Ken Paxton and Greg Abbott. And so kudos to her for voting. And then hopefully on, uh, after the results are in for today, she can honor her mother with a big democratic victory for the state of Texas with Tallarico. Um, and hopefully the governor's race as well. So, and we've had to suffer through in Oklahoma, horrific, horrific politicians. One is Mark Wayne Mullen, who now works for the federal government. Governor Stitt, who might refer to as governor dipshit or governor limp dick, um, is he is such a piece of shit. He is the, the, the white guys that you say you hate hanging out with. It's governor Stitt. He's the guy who thinks that he's acting, you know, in the name of God, all he is doing is making oil and gas people richer in the state. And fleecing the working class, driving the state into the ground, driving education into the ground and killing women. Governor Stitt has killed women in the state of Oklahoma with his abortion policies. And I hate him. I hate his guts. And if I believe in hell, I know that he would be the first motherfucker down there. Satan's little butt boy would be governor Kevin Stitt. He would be the number one butt boy of Satan because that's what his policies have been. Fortunately for the state, I know that governor Stitt would be governor limp dick would be Satan's butt boy because he has killed women in Oklahoma for sport to make him feel like a big boy Christian. And I think he should forever go down in the history books as a killer via his policies to women. Women in Oklahoma are dead. Women in Texas are dead because of these broken men who I really wish I were a Christian right this moment, because I love the idea of Abbott free from his wheelchair in hell so that he can have access to his ass and be Satan's butt boy. And I would say this too, that if those guys, guys like that are going to heaven, then I'd rather go to hell, right? A hundred percent. Could you imagine being around all the mega churchers forever? No, and here's the deal. It's like when the rapture comes, they're all like, oh, we're prepping for the end times. Go for it. I'm ready for you to go. Hit the road. And the I don't want to be with y'all. You're the last people I'd rather be with. I want to be someplace else. So if that means hell. And then think about this. Think about the music they would be playing. That Christian rock is so terrible. Could you imagine being in heaven with all the mega churchers and you have to do all the praise stuff and your hands are up and that music is just so horrific. There's this Baskin Robbins in Oklahoma City that I've been really angry about for years now. It's on May Avenue. And they play Christian rock. I've called corporate office, made several complaints. Nobody will listen to me. Nobody to do anything about it because I just want to go get some Rocky Road ice cream. Instead, I have to hear all this Jesus Bible thumper Trump dump in the ice cream shop. And the music is just, not only is it offensive to me personally, it's really bad music. So I imagine that they're It's gospel. So I mean, what do you expect? This is Christian rock. Black gospel music? Oh, I love black gospel music. I'm kind of down with that. I'm talking about white people Christian music. White people Christian rock is horrible. If I had to listen to black gospel music, I actually, I'm not a hater. I'm not drinking haterade there. I agree with that. But you brought up your ice cream. You used to be a Brahms person, your mixes. I do like Brahms. Brahms is preferable to me over Baskin Robbins. Brahms is way preferable, especially considering that Baskin Robbins has some rogue franchisee that's proselytizing to people like me that don't want to listen to this wretched, awful Christian rock music. It ruined my experience. I just want to say briefly that you would send me to get you mixes from time to time, Brahms mixes. Oh, you were diabolical. Listen to what he would do. And so I'm sorry to hijack the story with this, but it made me think of this. When she talked to ice cream. So I would bring her, she would order a small mix and I would bring her a large mix intentionally because I wanted her to eat too much and then have regret that she ate too much. It was all part of a diabolical plan that I knew that if she ate, if she ate the whole thing, she would have remorse, regret, and be angry. And that made me happy, happy. So here's, I would say, Josh, get me a small mix made with a twist because I like half chocolate, half vanilla. And then Heath bar. And he knows I have no self-control with sweets. I have a major, major sweet tooth. And so that's why I ordered the small because I'll eat the entire thing if it's in front of me. So this motherfucker would go get the large and he would come in with this smirking face and I can't, and then I would eat the whole thing. And then he's exactly right. Then I'm like, I'm a pig. I am fat. I, I'm a, I rapture me, rapture me. I'm ready. Hand it to her. And then I would come back in about 10 or 15 minutes and just kind of eyeball her. It's like, how was it? How you feel? Is everything good? So it was diabolical. Okay. But let me ask you this. Did you do it more than once? Oh my God. Josh. All the time. That is diabolical. And I don't think of you as diabolical at all. And then, and then. That's why I'm saying everybody go take him around the block a few times and to see how fast you drop him. And he eats the middle of a cinnamon roll. Yeah. He ate the center of my cinnamon roll. And somehow this episode I've been the asshole, which I can be an asshole. And so. So I pile on me, pile on me next week. I will have a list of grievances, but also you guys, this is next week's assignment. So right now you're out voting or you have voted and you're going to be all of us, a nervous wreck watching all of this come in for the next episode. You guys have got to move fast. Send us your celebratory videos because we have to be celebrating tonight. So send, you know, 30 seconds, 45 seconds. Make a video. About how much you're enjoying Maga tears. That's the thesis sentence. These Maga tears are delicious, nutritious, thirst quenching, et cetera. So you guys, this is a big, big, big, big day for democracy. It's a big day for the hatreds, the gay triets, the Patriots, all the, they triets, the black triets, the Brown triets for fucking normal people everywhere. So I want to thank everybody so much. For being in this community, drop us a comment. Let's make this episode pop off, subscribe to our channel. We kind of think YouTube is shadow banning us, but who knows? It's just people are saying that they're not getting the notifications of us anymore. So make sure you're subscribed and we will see you all soon. Hopefully with a democratic majority. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. The grand opening of your neighborhood. Midas is here and this is your grand invitation to experience a new kind of complete auto care. It's your grand introduction to our team of skilled technicians ready to let you know what needs fixing now and what can wait. 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