Norway w/ Van Neistat | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. Gel-to-Mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all-day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue. Just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new groupie setting mist from Mavily New York. "Maybe it's Mavily!" I did one with Ari Maddie, and it was about Canada, but we kept doing work visas everywhere, and I was like, "New topic, new topic, new topic, work visas." Yeah, he's like a Russian man over there. Yeah, Estonia. More or less Russia. He might be a Russian spy. Alright, let's do it. Let's do it. We can do it in our way. Alright, let's go. Thank you for coming by the way. Braving the heat. Are you rolling? Are you rolling? Yeah, we can start rolling whatever. But I'll do it in neutral. Okay, good. Hello everybody, welcome to Ubit Trippin, it's a travel podcast, me and a guest every week, we go to a new place. It's just like, mostly everything is wrong. We don't know anything about the places, we just kind of like enjoy it. It's the only podcast that is staunchly committed to lighting cigars by matches and not, not lighters. If you want to connect with the old ways, it's matches only. My guest today is very nice at, an engineer slash, I don't know, I'm calling you an engineer or not, but maybe you are. I'm a YouTuber. I'm like a hobbyist, I'm like, I don't know, my, I aspire to be the male Martha Stewart or the male or the, or Mr. Rogers for adults. That's my, that's what I want them to say about me. My buddy, Toby, who built the studio with me, turned me on to you. Okay. He was like, oh, if you're looking for travel, he just makes things, he just gets stuff done. That's my gift. Yeah. That's the gift I've been able to exploit and have a, like, these lives that we live that, this is the dream of millions and millions and our job is to allow these people to live vicariously through us and so my thing is, you're funny, but my thing is I can kind of fix anything except for computers or screens or devices or any of that. And women's hearts. Yeah. No, forget it. Yeah. You can break those. Yeah. This is reminding me right now, this is unrelated, but Michelle Wolf had a joke and one of her specials at the Skirmall that all these guys are like, women just need a good dick. I'll use good as she's making fun of us, but then later I was like, Michelle, I had a fight with a chick once and I gave her some good dick and it was the fight was over. I think I actually do need it. Yeah. I think it actually goes along with. But where do we want to talk about today? All right. Well, I want to talk about the thing that started it all for me. Norway. Okay. Perfect. You are a traveler. Yes. You like going play. I mean, even getting coffee, we're talking about fucking getting held up by gunpoint and Mexico. Yes. And this is your origin story. This is my origin story. Okay. So, nobody in my immediate family or I don't even think extended family, neither sets of grandparents had been out of the country, neither of my parents. Wow. And so I went to college in Virginia and I grew up in Connecticut, but I was going to college in Virginia and I had a girlfriend whose father was Norwegian. So she was half Norwegian and she had grown up maybe until like sixth grade or eighth grade or something. She had grown up in Norway. Cool. And so she spoke Norwegian, she kind of looked Norwegian, she's very tall, life blonde. And so, and she was experienced with Europe. So we got URL passes and we flew to Paris and then took a train up to Norway. What's the URL post? I've never gotten one, so it's like back then, it was a piece of paper. It kind of looks like a boarding pass for a plane and then it was any 10 days of traveling. Yeah. There were two kinds. There was an unlimited 30 days and then there was like any 10 days over the course of 60 days or something like that. Any 10 days. Okay. And you would fill in with a pen. You would fill in the date you were traveling. So you could do 24 hours, but you could take a, you could, if you were on the 10th, like let's say you were leaving on the 10th, you write 10, but you make the O a little small and then you draw another O on top of it and then you get the 18th too. Oh wow. Because it was, this is the analog world and this is obviously, this is before compute, I mean, not before computers, but before the, yes, the internet was around. This is 96. It wasn't being used. But it was like the internet then was like augmented reality is now like those dorks were using it back then. That's so great. I love to. There's just a scam of like, hey, by the way, all zero should be eights just when you're writing it. It's just like what's known among what backpackers or wherever you're going. Mine didn't go to my URL pass, didn't go to, I think we were going to Portugal and I didn't have that country on my URL pass. And so we did this whole scam where I buried the URL pass in my backpack. We're on a train, the conductor says, can I see all your tickets? And I had a time, I arranged it so that my friend while I was handing him my pass would ask the guy a question, like, is there a bathroom or is this nonstop or something? And I handed to him and the guy just took it, punched it and handed it back to me, it worked. And I didn't have that, I didn't have Portugal on there, but there was tons and tons of the whole world worked like that back then. It was so great to write to their friend, like, you need to distract him. It was like a dumb move and you're so nervous that he's going to look. And then when it works, because it would have been a hundred bucks, which is, you know, five, six nights stay in hostels. You were staying here, you were hostling? Hostling. And then with the girl, it was like her relatives all lived in Norway, which was fantastic, because Norway was super expensive. Yeah. And there was one other, if you started in Paris, went down to Portugal. No, we started in Paris. We went up to Norway on, like, took a night train. But the Portugal was a different trip, but it all kind of blends into one. But there was another thing, okay, so there was no, there was no internet, really. There were no phones. Yeah. And then there was one other thing that made it, like, that was the old man, analog world. I can't remember what it was, don't remember, whatever, but, okay, was it Pre-EU? That's what it was. Pre-EU. No euro. So every little country you crossed was all different. And on the trains, if the train was going from France to Norway, they took all the currencies. They took the Dutch gilder. They took the Brussels, whatever the fuck Frank or whatever that was, the French Frank. They took the Danish crowner, and I was also a separate trip, but I was in my brother Casey and I were in Paris the day they switched to the euro. So it was Frank's the day before, and then it was the euro that day. We were there that day. It was like New Year's 2012. What do you do? What do you do with them? Was just worthless? There was a layover, there was a, I think there was like, there's gotta be, there was like an overlap. There had to be. Yeah. Or it'd be like Mayhem. But there were people invests teaching you how to use it. And for us, it was easier than the Frank, because the Frank was five francs to the dollar, but it was like one euro to the one dollar. So we all knew. So we all knew. Yeah. And I remember giving, you know how you give someone like, you give someone like a five, if it's six dollars, you give someone a ten and a one and they give you five back. Yeah. So doing that at the like subway booth and the lady just like filled the little chamber with change. I was like, oh, she doesn't know how to do that math yet. Oh, yeah. It's too new. Oh, that's so funny when you do do that thing and then they're just like, I've seen scammers do that. Like people are really good. Have you seen this? Good at math. Yeah, I saw it. One of the long, long time Harry Anderson, remember him. The magician? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he would have those things like, actually, you give me the 20 back. I'll start. And you just walk away with 50 bucks. Yeah. And everyone's like, yeah, yeah. Not me. I would end up doing it at the back. You just give him too much money, getting nothing at it. Yeah. Yeah. So you go with this super hot tall fucking Norwegian chick. And we go, and I just remember, you know, you hear your whole life, how America is the greatest country in the world. The greatest country in the world. No, everybody wants to live here. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But then there's kind of a caveat where they're like, well, except for a sweet hidden in Denmark and Norway, you know. And I just remember, everything was like rich people shit is here. The Scandinavian countries. Just like the trains were immaculate. The doors. Like when you went to someone's house, the way that the door would shut and the little bolt would go into the receiver, it could click. Perfect. And there was the perfect amount of slap. You know, I lived in an old house growing up and you had to like, jam the lift it, pull. And it was this a series of that, the Danish train had a little, every car had a little kitty section. It was like a little play pen with toys in it for the children. Our train, you get to, you go from Denmark, you take a ferry to Sweden, Denmark, okay. The train pulls onto the ferry. There's tracks on the ferry. And it's like a one-hour ferry ride. There's like a casino on there, restaurants. And the food is great. It's ferry food and the food is great. - Damn. Oh, you zoom right onto it, and it pulls up like this. - Yeah, it's like, yeah, see the tracks? - Yeah, wow, rail ferries. And then it just, and it comes right off. It connects to another track. - Yeah, it just locked the boat. - Isn't that weird when you get, like, when you're wearing your race? We're about the same age. - Yes. - You are raised with this, like, this place is the best. - Yeah. - And then you're like, which part? And you're like, I don't know. - Yeah. - It was kind of like when everyone was like, I'm on, I'm pro Ukraine and like, where is it gonna map? You're like, shut up. - Yeah. - You're ruining this. - What's their currency? - Shut up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I just like what I like. - The thing about America is it's like, it's the best for people like us. It's the, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're like a go-getter kind of guy, it is the best. I mean, it's the best. You can do, you can imagine a weird job. I'm gonna go take a, I'm gonna bring a go-pro with me and go is what I'm doing two weeks. - Yeah, what do you do? - I'm going up to Montana with my son on this little mission. And that's what I'm gonna get paid. And they're gonna pay me as if I'm a doctor. You can do that here in America. But first of all, as you know, it's almost impossible to do these kinds of glamour jobs. It's almost impossible because of how hard it is, how much competition there is. - Yeah. - If you're just a regular person. You know what, I wanna have a family. I wanna do a nine to five job. I wanna go to school, get trained for the job. Fucking Scandinavia is your place. 'Cause Norway's super, super rich because they have tons of oil up there. And their systems different. So like. - You know, I think people get mad about when they talk about it's America. Like the idea that if you go like, well, it's not the best one, there's just one thing. People go, you think it sucks? You're like, no, no, no, it's amazing. It's just, it's just one of the fun. It's like, it's Wilter, Jordan, better. - Right. - You're like, well, they're both great. You don't have to go up. - Wilter at a hundred points in a year, exactly. - Yeah, exactly. - It's like 20,000 bitches. (laughs) - It's like, you can't take that away from them. That should go part of the whole thing, balloting. - Jordan bought a 30,000, but he was quieter than that. - He's quiet about it. It's a different, it's a different scenario. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Do you ever hear that two short song? - No. - 19,9099 bitches. - Oh, no, I don't know. - It's just something coming for you, Wilter. - Oh, wow. - He's just like, he's fucking 19,999. - Wow. - So, yeah, it really is. The way people, I'll give you America's best in National Parks, I've never seen anywhere like it. - Oh, that's true. Number one, I'm going to three in a couple of weeks. - Three or four. - The system is wild, how crazy it is. - Can't be touched. - Yeah. - We also invented National Parks System. Yeah, we invented that. That's an American thing. - What did everyone else have? Just places they hadn't been pushed in yet. - Everybody else is just like, they what you got. Go ahead, you knew on a mind. - You got to pay me. But yeah, they do nice shit up there. - And the thing is. - A wheel, that makes sense. - I was coming from a little like Irish town in Connecticut. - Yeah. - Like a kind of a, if you say Connecticut and people think Greenwich, but this was like where they build the submarines. It was in New London County, which is the poorest county in Connecticut. And so, I was coming from there and then I went to William and Mary, which is like, this college where all the bureaucrats go to school, where all the bureaucrats kids up in Washington DC go to school. So, what I'm getting at is the quality of women that I had been exposed to. Was not the Manhattan quality or the Los Angeles quality of beautiful women. And then I got, I got on those, that, in Paris, it started to hit me. It was like, oh my gosh. And then when I got like, and in Denmark, it was just like, holy shit. And then I started getting, I just started like, doing an inventory. And we pulled in and there were all these girls, like, you know, I was 21 at the time. So, these were high school girls, 18, 17, 18 year old girls. I think they were waiting to take the train home from school. And a hundred percent of them were eights and up. And it was like, oh, it's just the, it's this, I mean, you know, Hitler caught on, because, like, he had some good points. - Those chips are pretty, pretty hot. But through the hat, there was this old episode of Buck Rogers or something like that. And he's like, seeing different people, some different planets. And there's one guy who can like, Ben steal rods. And he's like, that, I'm like, whoa, he goes on my country, on my planet. But it was, I'm actually a weakling. So everyone can do that really easily. I'm a weak where I'm at. He has eights there, like, I'm a bit ugly, you know? He's like, yeah. - They really are so fucking so hot. - Across the board, hot. Seven eleven workers are like, what are you doing? - Yes. - Why are you here? - Yes. - You should be a model. - Yes, yes. You come to America, you're, you're queen. You're, whatever town you can destroy, whatever town you need. - You could be the mayor of any town in America. - Any time. - And this is just, and you're working a seven eleven in fucking Stockholm. - And they have little chairs when they sit on the, their cashiers have chairs, remember? - Oh, I don't. The cashiers sit at the cash register. - Instead of making them stand. - Yeah, it's kind of, what are that? - Why not? Why would you make them stand? Why do you, why do you make them stand? - I don't know, 'cause it's like that. If you got time to lean, you got time to clean. - You can't, America can be your cashier. - I don't know. - You can't do anything. You have to just wait for the next person. - Oh, but it's just like an OSHA thing. The vestibule is too small. And if there's a fire, you could get trapped. It's probably some stupid regulation bullshit. But yeah, even in Paris, they sit, they got the. - Oh, it's great. - Hi guys, break into today's episode to let you know a little bit about the guest, Van Nijstad. What a traveler. I mean, he is really a lover. Doing it with kids, doing it on his own. He's an author, he's a YouTuber, creator. I don't think he would call himself an influencer. I'm like, I once met a lady and I said, "What do you do for a living?" She said, "I'm an influencer." And I assumed she was joking and I laughed in her face. 'Cause I'm like, what your job is to influence people? That's a propagandist. You make sketches, do something. Van Nijstad does something. He makes these cool, like how-to videos. He is a film called The Spirited Man, which is just a bunch of creation. He's just showing creation over and over again. You can find it online right now. Follow me on YouTube at Van Nijstad, V-A-N-N-E-I-S-T-A-T. On Instagram as well, Van Nijstad. You can go get The SpiritedMan.com or you can go to his website, van.neist.at. I wanna read you the bio that's in here, 'cause it rules. He said, Van Nijstad is a filmmaker and artist from New York. The following biography by Tom Sachs was stolen from the book, Nautical Challenge. Van Nijstad is an alcoholic from Maine via Connecticut. He grew up in the Bohemian, Bohemian side of the tracks in New London County, the leading maritime community of the 18th and 19th centuries. And now home to General Diamond's plant that builds nuclear submarines. New London is also home to Pfizer, which makes V-A-A-GRA. Pretty good. Guys, check 'em out, follow 'em, tell 'em you like the episode. He's already been to Norway now, and I'm sure he'll look snowed, kind of how it was. For myself, I got almost nothing to promote, except I'm doing a live UB-trippin' everybody. I'm so excited about it. The first live UB-trippin' outside of Skankfest. And it's about all about October Fest. June 10th at the new Brooklyn Improvs, out of the second city, whatever they're calling it. Tickets are available right below. If you're watching on YouTube or on Spotify. If you're listening, iTunes everywhere. The tickets are right there. Come dressing your leader, Hosen. Dress the part. I'm gonna try to have, at least a pretzel guy and dress 'em up and tell 'em it's a Bavarian pretzel, even though it's just probably dirt rat pretzels from New York City. I'm gonna try to make the best I can. Dress up, bring it. If you've been to October Fest, bring in your stories. I'm gonna give out prizes to the best dressed. Dressing your German everything. I'm gonna do a playlist before the load-in. So you guys can listen to some German songs come in. It's October US. Me and at least three, unless one cancels last minute, of the finest comedians who have also been to October Fest. It's gonna be a blast. Live, you be trippin. I'm doing an experiment, show up, and let's have a blast. I really wanna make it a party. So really show up. I mean, not just show up, I mean like. Let's get Germany. Germany-ish. Anyway, that's it. I also have, as you know, my new television show, the end is available right now at reshaffer.com. Seven one hour episodes of the finest storytelling comics in front of a live audience that you'll ever find. Each one hour special is only $5.99. But if you buy five of them, you get the last two for free. That's 40% more. Yeah, 40% for free. It ends up being about four bucks each. For comics like myself, Tom Segora, Mark Norman, Joe Lists, Robert Kelly, Roy Wood Jr., Miss Pat, Oli Siddique, I'm forgetting it's on Sam Talent, who might forget Tony Hinchcliff, Nate Bargazze, Shane Gillis, Robert Kelly. See how I skirted it over the big ones? I'm not about that. It's about the quality of the show. Colontiero is one of people's favorites. Support me, and support me doing independent stuff. Kind of like the way Vennice that does, by going to rshaffer.com, at least get one of these. episode. There's a VIP package where you get this limited edition poster where you can try to get everyone to sign it. Just a read, Jordan Jensen. Oh, just Christy Stefano. What a fucking good show. Anyway, get it right now. Guys, let's get back to the episode with very nice tech. We went and like, you know, you're doing the URL trip and you have like your $20 a day. She catch you looking at chicks. Do you remember? Yes, you know, subtle about it, subtle, and then all of her cousins are like, also hot fucking knockouts. And like the regular people, she had cousins that were, they were like sheep people. Sheep shepherds. Sheep huggers. Shepherds. They were like, they sold wool from sheep and they had a border collie and I slept, this was in like rural Norway. And I like slept on a bed that was stuffed with feathers. And they had a border collie. And those people, they were sheep farmers. They had like a country house called the hutta, I think is what it was called, up near the Arctic Circle. No, really? I think the name of the time was tin set, like T-Y-N-S-E-T. And it was near Uptal. I can't believe I remember all this stuff. And we went up and they had a little family reunion. And she was like, oh yeah, everybody has these plumbers have these, these second houses up in the woods. And we, uh, I remember we were just like, she had these little cousins and I was, they had funnier, entertaining American guy. And we were falling asleep at night and it was like a whole bunch of us, for some reason we were with the kids. There was a whole bunch of us like in the attic, sleeping. And it was like, you know, it's two o'clock in the morning, but it looks like it's seven o'clock in the evening because it's so high up. I was looking at it in Norway, but I'm like, it's not that high up, but look at it on the big map. Yeah, it's like Northern Canada. Wow. Yeah, it is. So we're falling asleep and they all speak English. They all do. And it's their chance to speak English in American. They get, they learn it in school and in the movies. Yeah, watching movies. So we're falling asleep and Alisa was my girlfriend's name and her cousin, this little kid, I don't know, he's like 10 or 11. He's like, we're all just getting past that giddiness and it's time to fall asleep. And then all of a sudden he goes, when? When? When? Yeah. It's like, what? And he was like, don't you think it was nice that Christopher Reeve didn't kill the horse that tried to kill him? That's what he's been thinking about. And I was just, I couldn't stop laughing all the way. So he's like, has he been waiting for an American to ask it? That was an earnest question. It was a shape farmer. This kid, you know, he's like, death. That tried to kill him. There's so many levels of that. It's like, well, the kid didn't even bite him enough. So cool. And then we went to, so you just went around Norway with like family stars and on trains. And I just got exposed to like, because that is seen as like the most sophisticated, I think. I mean, France is probably the fanciest place in the world, but the Norway, like they're just their life. Oh, here's the thing. Norway, ski, that word ski, that's a Norwegian word. And if you look up the stats on winter Olympics, like Norway, it has like fourfold the next number, next country in gold medals, or in medals. They have like four times Russia, the tight little country of four million people. So there's ski air, like look at the Norway. Okay, no, I'm wrong. It's a hundred. They have, no, but they shouldn't be more than United States. They have four million people. Yeah, they have like Brooklyn. Is there a country? Maybe it's five million people. 405 medals, United States 330. That's crazy. They out to the United States. We have winter areas. Yeah, we have. I get that they would get us in like cross country skiing. Yeah, yeah. But then like, do you ever see those stuff about them fighting the Nazis? No, it's sort of all in white. Yeah. ski, snipe, ski, snipe, ski, snipe. And the Nazis like, well, nobody's trying for this. They work, they get the fuck out of here. And then they just left? I don't know, but they're just like, we can't beat these guys. It's like one-offs. And it's like, they're just like, you see a blinking of an eye from far away. That's it. And they're such good skiers. They're just gone. And then that must be like by aphalon, right? Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Should have got them on the lift. That's what they should. The Nazis should have been like, just fuck the lift up. They just go down. I don't know how they, I don't know. Maybe I'm, I don't know those. Did you ever hear this that in Denmark, they were occupied by the Nazis? And you know, the Nazis made the Jews were the star of David. Yeah. The Yellow Star of David. So the King War One, the King of Norway, of Denmark one one, and then all of the citizens wore them. I am, I am, I am a Spartacus. Yeah. Wow, really? I don't know if that's true, but I've heard that that story. I hope that's, I hope the God, that's true. Isn't that fucking beautiful? Yeah, they're all like, we'll do it. Fuck you. We're all wearing them. You could make it cool. What do you mean? Oh, the star, David. Yeah. Yeah, the idea makes it cool. Yeah, exactly. There's a way to like, yeah, just pretty, also throwback at this point. Yeah. Everybody's doing, oh, you got that star. Yeah. Noise. It's being like a black fan. Yeah, exactly. So what'd you do out there? Just drove around? You know, it was just traveling. I remember like, I was always, always hungry. And then you're on this budget and you're in Europe and everything super expensive. And the grandmother would pack these incredible lunches. And like, there was a law in Norway where you could only feed your workers salmon, like five times a week, because salmon is so, there's so much salmon up there. She has to cut it back. Yeah, you can't feed them more. So everything had this amazing, she would pack all these sandwiches with delicious like poached salmon. And she made this rhubarb jam. And so we would have rhubarb. And then you know the salami and the cheese there is so good in the bread. And we would have like cheese, bread, and rhubarb with salami. There had this part. Yeah. Is that their, is that their food rhubarb? Is that grow there? I don't know. I think she had it like in her garden or something. Well, the best strawberries I've ever had in my life were in Lillahomer. I went and remember they had the Olympics in Lillahomer. Yeah. I went and visited Lillahomer. It was just, how long were you there for? I think I was only there for maybe a week or something. But it was like my first week of foreign travel. And the language was so neat and weird. There was, I had a picture of it. And on the, on on the elevator, next to the elevator button, it said, I, the letter I, and then F-A-H-R-T-I-Fart. What is that? I don't know. It means something, right? It meant like Fart or something. It meant like up down or something. What was the feeling like being in another country the first time? Trying to map, it's like when you, we're trying to describe mushrooms as somebody and you're like, I've done it too many times. Do you remember what it's like for the first time or get your drink for the first time? I just, it was so, there were, it was, you know, the world is more homogenized now. It's more Americanized now. Like everywhere you go is a ferragamo store. But then it was, it was, it was different and it wasn't like it was. It was just smell. It was cool. It was like not hot. Because you're up north. And I'm used, I was down in Williamsburg, Virginia, which is a swamp. It's like 100 degrees, 98 percent humidity. So it was cool. It was like that. And then you felt foreign. So you were foreign. So you were a little special. So you kind of had that like micro celebrity kind of thing. You were like the, you were like the, the novelty. And just 94 was when Pulp Fiction came out. I think that was 94. So there was that whole thing. You know, the, this is just the little differences. They got the same shit over there that they got over there. It's just a little different. So I was just noticing all of that, like the lights, like the escalators don't turn on until you get, they have motion detectors until you come up to them. The escalators are stairs. And then you walk up and they, they turn on same with the lights. You go into a vestibule after, you know, you're going to like a foyer. The lights click on. And then when you leave the floor, the lights click off. Oh, like in the hallways of the apartment. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a weird European thing. Or you can hit them. But like if you, if you haven't moved, you can like hit them to go back. Yes. But yeah, just like gets you going. And then it goes off. The cars were smaller. Not as night. They don't have as cool a cars. They don't have the variety of cars. Oh, in Norway and in Sweden, like 99% of the cars were volvos. And like, and and sob was the other Swedish car company. And that 1% were sobbed. I grew up in volvos. So, oh, and you know, they're bouncy, but they're good. I learned this from Jerry Seinfeld, but Volvo has this symbol, which is the circle with the arrow that goes up. And it kind of looks like the male. Yeah. The male's a symbol for male. But it's really the symbol for Swedish steel. Oh, really? And the reason those cars are so bomb proof, the ones That we're made in Sweden. It does look male. That's Swedish. That's Swedish. That's the sweetest symbol for steel and the sweetest steel is very very high quality steel And that's why those cars last so they're the safest ones right they were then. Yeah, I think probably Tesla's the safest now Really I think so as long as you don't fall asleep and Hit it with your steering Why doesn't catch fire did they catch fire? Yeah, they and they're like almost impossible to put out You have to just let them burn out. I love when my buddy was his house is in the Palisades, whatever His friend and he was like his case car was setting him notifications like a little overheated a little ahead Then it's like goodbye. It's been nice knowing you Is getting those messages like I'm done Save the lighter. Hi guys today's episode of UB trip was brought to you by my favorite sponsor Shopify.com guys No matter what you're selling Shopify can help you get there no matter what you're selling And it already should fear.com in addition to selling you know UB trip and t-shirts and Jewish vinyls and stuff. We're not Jewish vinyls What is that less groups? Let's groups by the way side note two ways. That's a Jewish stereotype The groove less and you save money on the groups. It's a double plan words That's how I'm talking about today. What I'm really selling at rshapier.com Is reviews on toys you can fuck guys you want a fucking gun right in the fucking butt? Absolutely find out if it's good or bad at rshapier.com Shopify help legitimately build my site hint it was bad Fucking shoe guys You know all these people wait in line for the new hot of shoes and they go oh you're not gonna wear that already go No, I'm gonna fuck it and all these fucking young ethnic and white cool kids they go wait what you're not gonna put it on your wall South volcano. He loves collecting shoes. What a dork. I go now. I'm gonna fuck it You know what do you mean? I'm like I'm gonna open up the tongue here. I'm gonna fuck this shoe I'm gonna blow my load into it and they're gonna write about it in my review book of toys you can fuck at rshapier.com Rupees cube. Oh sure it's painful at first, but if you get the right order Yep, it actually ends up praying pretty good kind of like a hell razor for fucking Gorilla glue now guys this one I'm gonna tell you right away Don't test this you fuck gorilla glue. Uh, you're gonna get your dick stuck to your hand And it's not good and Shopify won't co-sign at all. It's time to turn those what ifs into With Shopify today sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at shopify.com/chipin go to shopify.com/chipin That shopify.com/chipin Let's get back to the episode and let's get back to fucking toys And if you got a toy by the way that you want me to review please let me know. I'm willing to fuck it Guys, no, it's not like all at once. You know, I mean I need some time to regroup I need some time to regroup. You can't just fuck away because a lot of these got okay Before we get back to the episode, I'm just gonna tell you this right now a lot of fucking toy fucking reviewers We'll just do a little bit of feeling and move on It's not me you gotta do a completion. I mean you gotta lay there sometimes. You gotta kind of cuddle with your doll You know, you first fucking put a load in this shoe. You could just like say okay, let me start writing But sit there with that a little bit. Let's let it drip out You know see what it does to you. Maybe you put it in maybe a little mucka moustache I don't know, you know, but you gotta let it find you So I take time and effort So if you have a toy you want me to test but fucking or any sort of other household item Please let me know right to me on Instagram @rishaffir and I'll fuck it for you if I can find it um You know a lot of guys aren't willing to do this. Ah fuck a hat. Okay, I gotta go guys. Don't forget to go to Shopify.com They built my website. They can build yours too Shopify.com. Let's fuck a hat back to the episode Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs Meet new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Gel to miss technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all-day comfy grip No tightness. No stickiness. No residue. Just plum, dewy, hydrated skin That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mabelie, New York Maybe it's Mabelie This is so fun. That's what I love about Gordon new places too is noticing those little things It's tough to remember later, but as you're there you're like, oh the other bit escalator doesn't go on so you get there Oh ikea this was before the american ikea thing this is probably before there was a single ikea store in america and i remember like How good quality And how tasteful and how good the colors of all the furniture was And i was just like what is this furniture and oh it's just from ikea or however they say it and it's like What's that and at the time the guy was like the richest guy in the world They're like you don't know what this is. It's just box stuff that you put together And then it made its way across the ocean now you can kind of get everything in america that you can get around the world But back then it was it wasn't that it was there were things that were unique to the places where you went Was there a camaraderie of just a Scandinavian country? It's like traded with each other. I think they're very Competitive like oh those disgusting nor we so i think the Norwegians Like the Swedes like i think the Danish because it's all their dull Danish like colonies I think the Danish are like the most high-falutin like you went to that restaurant right in Copenhagen. Yeah, no more Bobby Kelly. What was that like It was high-falutin. Yeah for sure It was just like an experience. I've never done one of those before I've done them since you know the way that could take you on a journey Mm, you know culinary journey. It's like that movie the menu. Oh 100% yeah. Yeah, yeah 100% is based on that. Yeah The movie is based on this where it's like there. Yeah, everything. It's like they one of the meals was Moss Come on fried moss. So it was like this big and like light area and you're like all right And then they clear it was a 26 course meal. So You're not filling it. It took the three hours And then they say when you're done you go get pizza. Yeah. Okay, because it never fills you up. It's just not about that. Yeah, but God bless them. God bless them high-falutin for sure, but honestly though 500 bucks wasn't the craziest amount. No I expected it to be like two three grand each and it was 500. Yeah So it's like I went out of business. Yeah, that's why they close. I mean a New York meal. It was a wine pairing too. So New York meal with three glasses of wine. That's 150 easily. Mm-hmm Right. Yeah, LA is probably close. Yeah, yeah, nice restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, so it's not like crazy crazy. No, no No, that's fair Yeah, all the meals were great Uh Norway is kind of seen. Oh, I read this book at way after the I probably read this book in like 2015. There's this guy Carl Ova scars guard and he wrote this book the series of books called My Struggle. Yeah Like mine comp oh really? That's what mine comp means. Oh What was his struggle like also juice being a writer in Norway? I guess I don't know, but it was just like a really It was pretty good, but it was very just like basically kind of like a transcription of just his life It just felt like an autobiography But it was very good, but um I'll wait. I forgot where I was going with that. I forgot what I was like. Oh, but in that book He talks about how the Norwegians are kind of looked at as the redneck Scandinavian really and I think that's what I love about it That's what I think I mean, but they're way they're like they're like doctors and lawyers are here is right on the line of regular You're it's on the continent. Yeah, and so Finland is Russia Finland isn't even considered Scandinavia. Estonia's Russia Latvia's Russia And then Poland really Ukraine kind of like borderline areas even Romania. Yeah, it seems like Eastern Europe, but like yeah Denmark is is got Denmark is so like Technologically advanced and just everything's like beat like past everything we have like the women are all 30 years real like You can't buy them a drink I mean, I mean you can get this around Yeah, if you're going but like what do you mean like it doesn't even it's not like hey don't do that It's like I don't even get why would you yeah, you know, yes because they make the same Yeah, so this is not like they're not even a thought of like I I also love that in Denmark. They were just leaving their baby strollers outside full of baby Okay, you know, I'm like what and like yeah, they're shopping inside. They didn't want to bring their kid in yeah And you're like yeah, but It's just a baby on wheels and my friend was like, well what what do you do steal it? Yeah, who would steal a baby and you're like Damn my country blows American fuck. Were you fucking this chick the whole way through her family back? Nice. Yeah, yeah, she was my girlfriend. Could you do it at her other family's house? I don't really remember just sneak out to a mid-Somar camp and remember Um, it was summertime. It was summer. Did it look like mid-Somar? I kind of feel like I don't know if I'm bringing after seeing that movie. I don't know if I'm bringing it to that But it kind of was that but oh it was more rainy Oslo Which is where the grandmother lives that is a incredible town. That is a beautiful town agree, but explain Well, there's like this There's so there's like it's kind of like LA There's like the port where the beautiful water and that you can swim in you know, it's a port and you can swim in that water because it's perfectly clean really Yes, and then there's like all those futuristic modern glass buildings and then The houses are kind of up in the hill and there's all these like walkways through gardens that are very beautiful And there's this park called Vigiland Park and it was this sculptor's life's work Where the sculptures in this park and it's the life cycle of a human being So it starts off with like a pregnant woman and then an infant and a baby and it goes up and blah blah blah blah blah And it's all over the park all these sculptures [BLANK_AUDIO] Like, there's all these antique stores up there that the housewives of the rich bankers and stuff for their hobby, they have the antique stores up there. And they had ski areas. - Do this thing. - Yeah, it's this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's this. Vigiland Park. - He's kicking this baby. - Vigiland Park, there it is. - Is he beating up a baby? - Ah, he's just, you know, he's got a lot of kids. He's got a. - Well, once fallen, it's a. - He's trying to catch him, man. - He's can be trying to catch him. This is open to interpretation. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He could be like, when your cell phone drops, and you're like, "Oh, it's gonna crack, "so you're trying to stop with your foot." - Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what it's like having kids. It's like juggling. - How many do you got? - I got two. - He looks like he's bashing them all off them too. Like, they're attacking me. - Could be that. - He's not doing the Superman hit. - He could be that, but kids see how they're all laughing? The kids, they love rough housing. - Oh, maybe he's throwing them in the pool, yeah. - They love rough housing. Yep, uncircumcised. - Yeah, not bad. I mean, it's cold up there, so. - It's cold, yeah. - It's a grower. - Yeah, it's gonna be a grower. - Yeah. (laughs) - I can't get it off. Oh yeah, for sure, uncircumcised. You rarely see uncircumcised sculpting. Wow, he's even got the hole for it to come out. - Yeah, he's peeling that thing right back. - Wow, what a smooth transition from head to shaft, too. - Yes. - Yeah. - Also clearly been touched a lot while it's bronzed up. Everyone comes up and touches it, like wears it out. The rest of it, no one touches the inner thigh. - That's polished by human hands. (laughs) Are the baby weeners polished? 'Cause that's disgusting, that's you can't do that. - Okay, I mean, they can't get up there. It would be this one, damn, I fucked this up. All right. - But everything, the thing was like. - He's armed. - Nice, everything is. How clean everything is. How good all the diets are. How fit all the people are. How beautiful all the people are. - Yeah, the diets are good, too. This was 1996. - 6. - Yeah. Do you notice, do you remember anything about, like, the way you felt from the food? Every time I go to Europe in general, it's this. - Oh, I know, when I came home, still to this day, when I go to Europe, and I come home, I'm sick for a week. Diary and. What do you think it is? America? - It's America. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Reintegrating your system into some sort of city. - 'Cause there's like, we're, I mean, RFK, he has a point. - Yeah. - I think there's a lot of poison in our food, a lot of chemicals in our food. - Chris, even when I eat like shit somewhere, I lose weight. - Yes. - And I'm like, look, I'm just guessing what it is, but it's gotta be the, like, a quick and FDA, putting tons of shit in our stuff. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - And maybe they just have access to like more organic stuff. Maybe it's just easier for them, but still. - They got all these rules there. I remember visiting Austria, and I was with this Austrian man, and he said, even the food has to, all the meat here by law has to be organic. So he's like, you go to McDonald's, you're getting organic beef. - Interesting. - You went to McDonald's, all right. - Interesting. Oh, really? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I love them McDonald's, and they have different, like, regional stuff, like Poutine. - Yeah. - And Canada, and you're like, what? - Yeah. - Like E-Rice and Thailand, or McDonald's? - Trying to think we went to one in Bali. - What they had? - What they had. - I don't know, street chicken. (laughing) - Yeah. (laughing) - They used to do McPizza. Do you remember that? - No. - That was a good test, they were, they must have been testing it at our thing. They had McPizza, it wasn't good. - That's funny when they tested nude McDonald's or whatever product, and it's the only instance atty. It's course only in this, and let's see how it goes with these. - Yeah, I found out in Kentucky, is where they test all the candies. So Kentucky, if you, I don't know if this is still true, not in Kentucky, I'm sorry, in Louisville. If you live in Louisville, you're always getting all these water. - Every new candy is like, go through there. - Getting the candies, that's one of their like tests. - That's pretty cool. - They're testing the like, oh, that, that was like a practical joke. They're candy up there, and I tell my son about this. They're candy, they have these little, they're like, kind of like we have fireballs here, but they're brown, and they're like, they're like magnesium sulfate or some shit. They're like these salt bombs, and you put them in, they're not sweet or anything, and you put them in your mouth, and it's like you're being poisoned. So the kid'll just give you, oh, you want some candy? Sure, I'll try that and boom, and it's just, and then they're half of them. - Just like a red hot or whatever. - Yeah, but for them, it's like delicious fun. - It's pain, and we all know. - They're also tougher. They're really tough in the cold. - Yeah. - And like swimming in cold water and stuff, and like everything's warmed to them, 'cause I was up there in summer. - They're just like tougher, like they're harder, like they're muscles, like there's less fat between their skin and their muscles. You know what I mean? Like they can do more pull-ups naturally, maybe 'cause I was hanging out with like farm kids. - You think the chicks too? - The chicks are robust. - Yeah, but. What happened to this chick? What happened to the girl you were dating? - So what happened? I think maybe I just, what happened? Oh, no, what happened? I think she like the summer came, and then she went off somewhere. And we broke up and then I went off somewhere and like, blah, blah, blah. - It's funny when you're like, oh, I gotta go for two months. You know, like, well that's a size of a percentage of our adult lives, two months. So yeah, let's move on. - I think it was a, yeah, I was with her for over a year, I think. - Okay. - But, so yeah, that's what kicked it off for me. And I remember like booking it. - Okay. - Like booking the whole process. So the way I got money for it, this is why I don't have any sympathy for people. - You're pretty good at being like, you don't need money to do anything you want. - But I might just be stuck in the 90s. I might be wrong about that. It might be different now. - I think you, there's definitely places, I don't know. I think there's places you can't do without money. There's certain experiences you can't have without money, scuba diving is never gonna be cheap. - Right, right, right, right. - But like, it's, yeah, you can get, I don't know, I don't know. - Imagine setting your makeup, then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. Gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. Just plum, dewey hydrated skin. That still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline, New York. - Maybe it's Maybelline. - I heard you say on this podcast that America was the worst place to travel. - Why? - You didn't go into it. - It's the worst place to travel. - Within America. - Oh, I mean, yeah, that's the plan. - I just planned this trip to Montana, like a three week trip. And it's like, it's in shitty hotels are insanely expensive. And there's no like, you can't go way down. - Yeah, way way down. It's like, well, we have bedbugs, it's a bedbugs, yeah. And you're like, I mean, is there anything just like- - They don't accommodate. Where's all that? - Like 50 bucks. - They're a common, they want the kids traveling around. There's like a whole system for that. And there's like a, I just don't know what it's like traveling in the age of the internet. It can't possibly be as good. It's just like, we have a weird highway system, which is great, but also is like, it's also separates you from the land. - And you don't, we don't have the trains, is there? - And wherever else, the trains, right? The trains also, like you're seeing the landscape change. - Yes. - And you're driving on two lane highways with the mountains behind you. It's not, it's not, I don't know. I don't know, it's not like it's bad, but man, and everyone at airports are such cons. - God damn, there's another level of rude, airport rude. - Oh, why are you yelling at us? - You'll never be back here. - By way, first of all, laptops come out of your bag. No, we're not waiting on you. You're not waiting on us. We're waiting on you, you're the bottleneck. And also just tell us individually, you got nothing to do. - I will say this, and this might just be like, right wing propaganda, but I will say this, the locks are terrible, I'll try to go ahead. - LAX is better with this new administration. I noticed it in me, I flew in on-- - Explain. - They weren't yelling at me. Christy Nome is the new-- - There's a new what? - Christy Nome is the new, like Homeland Security Secretary. So I think she just, she might-- - Hey guys, just be nice. - Somebody said something. It's better, it works better. The crowds, there's less, the lines are shorter. I mean, this is, I've done it twice. - Right, one day, it did stay by day. - Yesterday, and I did it in, for like-- - Remember they're doing intentional slowdowns? - No. - They were like, we wanna raise and be like, well, we don't know about that. And like, okay, and then in Chicago and everything, there were lines down the block. And they go, we're gonna do slowdowns to see how much you need us. And everyone's just missing flights. - They, oh, oh, here's something cool that happened to me once in Europe. - Okay. - The bus drivers were on strike, okay? But they didn't not show up for work. They just didn't collect fares. They just made it all free. I was like, oh, this is my kind. I love this strike. - That's interesting. Like we can't fuck over the town. 'Cause people still have to get to work. This is wrong to do this. Like, he's here. You're probably here when the sanitation went on strike. - I know. - Within two days, the city's buried under trash. Like, fuck with those guys. - Yeah, so it's like really, whatever they want, they get. - Yes. - So, yeah. So you have to make sure they're happy, but like, that's funny. They're so like, you can still get on the bus, but the city will make no money until we get paid. - That's right. - Okay. - Yeah. - Oh, that rules. - Super cool. - It seems like they are in Scandinavia, probably Norway too. It's just like a care about the citizens. - I feel that. I really, really think so. I really think, I think 'cause it's so small. - And homogenous. - And homogenous in the family history. It's not nations and immigrants. These are indigenous people. - Right. - And it goes way, way, way, way, way, way back. And the culture is so thick and strong and forged. - Yeah. - That you're really, it's a, you're really, you're really not gonna fuck over people. - Yeah. - I think there's that. And I, you remember in 2008, during that financial crisis, they, I think it started in like Iceland. I think they were like one of the first European countries. - Yeah. - And they, the Icelandic people, they fired everyone. And they replaced them all like the leadership with women. - They didn't. - Nice. - Why? - I think that's what ended up happening. - On purpose, or just-- - I don't remember why I don't know if it was like, I don't know, but I remember that was like, there was like a women's coalition. - Yeah, I remember going afterwards and they go, oh, you bailed your banks out. Why they failed. And I'm like, I don't know any, I don't know any of this. And they go, yeah, but if they failed, should you have just fired them all? So they, so the Iceland, if I remember right, go, all right, then you're out of business. Let's start over. - That's the capitalist system that we love. They don't think how cool it would have been if the people got to keep the houses. - Fuck the banks. - Yeah. - No, no, no, no, no, no more mortgage. But the banks gone. - The banks are going, yeah, we're not doing that. - Instead, they took the houses. They paid for them. They bought them for the banks with the people's money that they fucking-- - It is crazy. - That's what all this craziness is about. I remember Bernie Sanders was like, can you, can Hillary Clinton, can you show us the speeches you made to the banks? Probably she goes, I'm looking for those. I'll give it to her. And then like four months of campaigning, like any look. - Yeah. - And what you told them privately. - Yeah. - And she was like, nah, no luck. - Yeah. - Because they were reporting that you said, don't worry, you guys are playing my different rules. - Have you ever heard, like from her doing her, this is from the, I don't know, early 2000, she was doing her policy for immigration, illegal immigration. She's like, we find every single person, we deport them. Maybe we have a program where they can work, but they're going to pay back all their, it was like exactly MAGA. - So funny to see them, also their stances on like gay rights, it's so funny to see the people that we later loved on the left, to go like, wait, is this AI? You're going like, no, guys, come on. What's next, a man in a tree? And you're like, wait, what? He's like the hardcore libs? First of all, you can say it's some terrible shit about Hillary Clinton. I bet she fucks wonderfully. - Go on. - I bet she is wild. How else would she attract a guy who can fuck anything? I bet she cleans his dick. I mean, just, just drains it in a level that you can't, you and I, we get normal plus. So you have to separate yourself. - You go back and see those pictures when he was like governor, pre-governor. - Yeah, that's how, when he got-- - She's got that like evil, like, not evil. I'm sorry, that innocent, that fake innocent look on her face. - I mean, is that her? - Yes. - Little-- - Oh yeah. - Where's-- - Yeah, oh. - That one, this one. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Coish and like-- - Hmm. - She hasn't had the butcher haircut yet. - Boy, that's the word. - She's-- that's an entrepreneur. - Yes. - And she's like, "Hello, Bill." - Still hot there. Is that first lady of the nation? - Could be. - Or of Arkansas's. - Oh yeah, mate. - Where is she from? Is she from Chicago? - That chick's cute. That chick's will kill you. - Yeah. - No disrespect to Hillary Clinton. I love all of everything you've done. - I actually did a project with her. - I'll hail to everything you are. Please, I'm on your side. Okay, go ahead. You did a project with her? - Yes, my child. - What'd you do? - We used to do our friend, Tom Healey, was like the CEO or the chair of this thing called the Lower Manhattan Cultural Council. - Yeah. - And what they did is they found spaces for artists to work or live in. And so they'd have these big fundraisers every year, at like Chip Riani and all the rich people would go. And they would do an honorary video where they'd honor like five people. - Oh really? - Bill Clinton, we did him one year. Oh no, that was a different project. No, no. But she was one of the honorees. I think it was when she was Senator Secretary of State. And so we went and met with her, you know, she was Senator. She went and met with her in some like the Hilton Hotel up in the Times Square. - How was it? - She was like super charming. I get it. She was like super charming, very friendly, well organized machine. We like sprung an idea on her that we didn't like. - And she was like, "Oh, can you make us an original piece of art?" And she just like drew a funny picture. And she like, you know. - I bet all those people when you meet them, they're like, "Oh, I see why you're a leader." - Yeah, they're super charming. Very. - It's not just a chance. - No, no, no. That's their thing. That's what they could do. - They're, yeah, they're, yes, they're charming. - But getting off her. - So you, let me ask you a question. - So just, what opened the can of words for travel? - Yeah, yeah, that's what I was going to say. - Because I think there's a lot of barriers. People get freaked. Like, my parents don't travel for, and they like, the language thing, or they-- - It's scary. - Yes. - It's scary. They're going to rob you. What if you get lost? What if you lose your passport? Are you going to be stuck there? What if you're getting trouble? Well, other cops are going to be different? - I think people think, "Leave here, it's super dangerous." - Which is the opposite of-- - The opposite. - Yeah. - They're like, "No, those are the safe places." What was you? What were you? Because you're from where? Are you from Burrow Park? - No. I mean, my people, I guess-- - Crown Heights. - No, I was from Maryland. - Oh! - Yeah, Montgomery County, Mocha. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, but I was born here, but then we moved pretty fast to like North Carolina and then whatever. But, yeah, I didn't really travel. I lived in Israel for three years, but I didn't really count that because it was like school. - That counts. - It does looking back for sure. - Yeah. - What ages? - 18 or 20. - Oh, well, yeah. - For sure counts. At the time, I was like, everyone I knew did it. It was just like-- - Yes. - It was like going to college or just travel. - Yeah, okay. - To us. It was like, "You're just gonna live in Jerusalem for two years." - Yeah. - I went on a Swiss festival. To Montrose, Switzerland. - Okay. - They wanted some Americans. It was a French festival. They wanted some Americans-- Not Americans, they wanted English-speaking. I wanted to try to expand that, so they got me to be an ambassador for like stand-up. They got some other guys from England to be an ambassador for sketch, meaning like, can you get a submissions? And then five comics. One of the guys from Chicago, C-O-S-K, Mike, Kevin Iso, Paul Morrissey, Jessica Michelle Singleton. Fuck, who is the last guy? I don't know. There was some South African comics. Anyway, I went at my friend Paul Morrissey and we were just like, "Hey, we got a free trip to Switzerland on stand-up. We got to start doing this more. That's a free-- - So that was your first one? - Yeah. And then we went from there to Amsterdam. We're like, "Hey, let's make them fly us home a week later so we can have some time." And then he was like, "Let's just make sure to do this. Two countries every year, so I really committed to it." And then I went to China. I got my agent. He was like, "I got a run in China if he wants not much money." But I was like 100% and then once you go to like an Asian country, you're open. I love what you said about China. You were like, "Yeah, it's kind of the same thing. It's just like there's zero crime. You're never going to get a school shooting. You're never going to get held up. You're never going to get rubbed." But you're under surveillance and if you talk about Tiananmen Square or Tibet, you're going to jail. Here, you can talk about Tiananmen Square or Tibet or the Estineless, but they might shoot up your school. - You might get rubbed. Yeah, exactly. If you do fall down, just fall down in the projects. I'm taking everything. But yeah, it's all different and it just opens you up. So this trip seemed to open you up. - This trip opened me up and then I remember. The 90s was different. It was different in the 90s. Because I remember $289 round trip Paris tickets from New York. $289. - Which was called that 600? - No. - Yeah. That was on Air India. - Air India. - So what are people just shitting the aisles? - No. It was like an old plane. Ashtray's old, like a poultry. It was so cool. It was so cool. I flew Air France when I flew to Paris to go to Norway. You could smoke on the plane. I smoked in the back. Yeah. You could still smoke in Europe. - In the 90s? - Yeah, 96. - Yep. That's the end of it. - There was a smoking car in all the time. - Cross country also. Not cross country, international. Like domestic was the first to go. But internationally you got. You can't go six hours without smoking. - Oh, I know what I was going to talk about. Booking. There was all papers. - How'd you do it? - You had to look up. I can't remember. There might have been a special paper you would get and you'd go in the back. And it would be like student Europe trips, blah, blah, blah. Package deal, blah, blah, blah. - How could you get a single put down? - And you'd like call in your credit card. And this is like when the debit/credit card, because I don't think I had good enough credit, maybe. - Yeah. - It was like when the debit/credit card thing was invented. So you could just put money in the bank and then spend like, it's a credit card. - That much. - You could give them the number. instead of having to mail them, you might have had to mail them a check. This was like the age of travelers checks, which it turns out you never really needed to use, 'cause you could just use your ATM card. - We never needed to use them. - Never. - Was that crazy or something? It was always like, you have to take travelers checks or if you-- - 'Cause if you get stolen, you can get them reimbursed or something. I never really understood this. - Where was that scheme though? That had to be on everyone's tongue. The tip of everyone's tongue is like, let's just say we got robbed. - Yeah, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, 'cause it would have your signature on it. - I don't really know. I don't really remember how that worked. But I remember getting them and needing to have them - Travellers check. - I'm not a sort of like a bank account when you were there and you'd go and you'd cash them in a little bit at a time. But then it was just like, why don't I just use them? - So you take the travelers checks to-- - To an American Express office. - And then they'd switch it for real cash in the area. - Further, further, for French francs or whatever. So dumb, so dumb. - Yeah, how would you find a hotel? - So hotels? - You just have to hold this waiting for you. Let's go the Berkeley guide. This book, this thick that you had to bring in your backpack. This thick-- - The fuck was that? - That had, and you just look up town by town. So you look up Paris and say stay off of La Rambla. Not Paris, though. - That's Rambla. - Yeah, in Barcelona, stay off of La Rambla. This place has chicken for $2. And you just go and you'd find it with your book and there was no GPS, either on your phone or, there are no phones. - Did they have maps on them? - They had little maps of the towns, but no, it was fun, it was a puzzle. It wasn't just like, now I feel like travel, except for when you're going to like, places that are technologically less sophisticated than America. - Ungrated off the grid. It's like, it's like uncharted or unmapped. You know, where it's like-- - It's a puzzle. - Somebody when you get there? - And you're relying on people. - Yeah. - You know, whereas now it just seems like it's administrative book work. It's just like looking up stuff on Amazon or looking up, you know, bus routes. Is it cool when you get to a place like that and then that's still living in that time? And you're like-- - It's a travel. - Yeah, for me, there's like, I don't know how it's with you. There's a period of like, discontent where it's like, no, I'm supposed to look up, where's my thing? I supposed to just have it, you know, like uneasiness because it's like back to a different way to do things. And then like, oh, there's actually really nice. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know? - Yes, I know what you're talking about. It's like that acclimation period. We were in Mexico 2023 and I had just replaced the engine. I built this like Land Cruiser so that I could do all this overland travel in the North America, South America. So I have this brand new diesel engine, brand new transmission, it was a fucking fortune to do this thing. Brand new braking system, brand new interior. And but it's an old 87 Land Cruiser. So you don't stick out, you just look like an old, those Land Cruisers are all over the world. You just look like an old truck. You're not catching anybody's eyes. I'm not stealing that. They want new, they want to steal a new, you know, Ford Raptor or whatever. So I was teaching Isabel, my wife, how to drive stick on the beach. And so she picked it up like this. She picked it up like this and so we drove back. I was like, let's park at the hotel. But she didn't, do you drive stick? - Yeah. - Okay, she hadn't, didn't have the reflex that the clutch is a panic button. If something's going wrong, jam that clutch in and figure it out. - Just coast. - Just jam the clutch in and hit the brakes. - Yeah. - And we were pulling into a parking spot. And she just didn't know how, she used to just putting, hitting the brakes and putting it in park and just right into rocks and blink, smashed in my front bumper. Like just destroyed it. So I had to go, I knew where there was guys who could bang it out. So I went and found on this road in, it was Zewa Tenejo. There was just this back road that goes between, it stopped by Zewa Tenejo. It's an airport. It's in Ferrero. - Hold on. - It's from Josh. - Josh, okay, okay, okay, okay, I was like, wait, I know that name. - Yeah, and it just like, there's a place. I needed a, I needed a new spare tire. I pull in, there's tire places everywhere. I get a spare tire fix. I said, do you know a guy who could fix the fender? And the guy's like, and then the description is like, red house, drive that way, blah, blah, blah. - Oh! - Find the guy. - Find the guy. - There's just abandoned, not abandoned, but there's all parts cars all over his yard. I pull in, it's a husband and wife team. He takes the bumper off and he's like, come back tomorrow. Hammer's it, welds it, welds a little shim in. Primers it, I'm sorry. Bond does it, sands it, primers it, they put it back on the car, they tape it all up, they spray paint it, it looks factory. Ari, it was 150 bucks. It would have been thousands in a, the replacement bumper is like, some thousand, like $1,500 or something for that car. But he's straightened the frame out and everything. But that kind of adventure in places like that, like if you have broken shit, like if you have something that's expensive for broken, you need to replace the upholstery of your car. Drive it to Mexico. (laughing) It's almost like when you're making a plan for like, all right, I'm going to Paris, day one, we're going to the Louvre and then we're going to do this. And we're going to eat it in the right search day two. We're going to do this to the cemetery. It's almost like if you plan like, okay, we're going to smash in our bumper on purpose and then we're going to go on a scavenger hunt to try to find a, that'll be a fun trip for us. - So fun, that's why I love Overland. And that's why I love car or motorcycle. Motorcycle is even better. We did, I did with two buddies. We did the Baja Peninsula. We were going to a friend's wedding in Cabo. We left from Los Angeles. - Down this one. - Yep. - Okay. - My friend on the first day, John, he let too much air, you let air out of your tires when you're riding on sand so that there's softer, there's more, the tire smushes more, so there's more contact with the sand. It's easier to ride and he let too much out and he dented his rims. And so he got 11 flat tires in two weeks. - It just kept flat. - And we had to change them with your hands. You have to get that fucking thing off the rim with tire irons. You're in the middle of the desert, but a couple of times, we were in little cities and we could go find the tire guy and do the patches and that was kind of an amazing. It got old, changing those tires got old. But, and then Baja, you have to like find gas. - Yeah. - Those guys who sell, they're like at the right distance between the two furthest gas stations and they sell, you buy it by the leader, it comes in Pepsi bottles. - That's how Indo is. And like, and Timor Leste, where it's like you just go, and then that's the same thing, you get a flat tire, you're just like, there's tire shops. - And it's like, it's in some sort of house. - You got to take the wheel off, you got to change it off, you don't just put a new rim on, like you do at a car. But there, they repair the actual tire. And it's like, buy bucks. - Yeah, they patch it up, right? It's shock, you get to keep your tire. 'Cause I'm like, I'm fucked here, it's a rental bike. I'm fucked, I don't know how to do any of this. I'll come this way, you let your kids high five you for like 10 minutes, take a walk around. It's like, you're good, give us a pittance. (laughs) It's nutty, yeah, and those bottles. Oh my God, I'm remembering these stuff now. - Yeah, it'll be like something like this. - Yes. - It's just like, here's, here's fuel. - Yeah, here it is. It's on a cart. - Yeah. - You just grab one or two, whatever. - We went to, we went to-- - We could take one with you if you're going off, like take a couple. - We had to buy it at a fish camp. We had to buy a gas. It was just like a fish camp. Huts by the side of the road where there's all these, by the side of the ocean, where there's all these fishermen guys and the guy did the like, they don't suck it to siphon it. They blow it and they pressurize and then they blow it. And it starts pouring out and then they put it in, I had a gas can and they filled the gas can up and then we filled our tanks up from my gas can. - So cool. - So cool, that kind of stuff. But yeah, that's kind of advanced travel after you've done-- - Going off and it's funny. That's advanced travel but also dingy travel. - Yeah. - You're just like, we're not going to go on luxury. We're going to go. - That's right. Sometimes dingy travel, a lot of time. There is no luxury option. There is no for any amount of money, the nice thing that you, as a spoiled American, are accustomed to. There is no nice restaurant. There is no nice toilet. There is no nice hotel. It doesn't matter how much money you have. - Right, that makes sense. - You just have to do the thing in the place. - There are places I don't even want to go to because like I don't, I have no interest in China. - Really? - I don't care. I don't care. - It's funny. It's funny that some people like, never got me, time with Russia. I'm like, I heard you say that with Russia. - It's fine. I don't hate it. I'm just like, don't care. - Where haven't you been? - That I want to. - I want to go, yeah. High on the list now at Morocco and Japan. Those were big. - I did Morocco when I did an adventure. - What'd you do? - What's adventure? - This was like a woman. I. - Did you teach yourself how to, how do I spend my time? - I was married to my ex-wife. - Yeah. - My brother said, my brother Casey, he was like, you gotta check out Morocco. It's awesome. So we went to Marrakesh. We stayed there, which was cool. - Yeah. - It's very smoky. It hurt my eyes. The smoke, 'cause they don't have catalytic converters. And there were so many stray dogs. Like packs and packs of stray dogs. But then we rented with a guide, like Mitsubishi Montero Jeep. And we drove over the Atlas Mountains to the Sahara Desert for the new years to camp. I think this was 2006, New Year's 2006. We camped in one of those. It's a total tourist thing. - Over the Atlas Mountains. - Where's the Atlas Mountains? - That's in Morocco. somewhere. Oh, okay. Okay. You camped in a tent. It's into the Saharan. We camp in the pre-pitched big old like Beto intent and you ride camels, but it's all tourist. You just go and you pay, but you, I don't know if it's still you don't arrange it ahead of time. You just go. That's also awesome. I hate arranging ahead of time. You know, that's an American thing. Yes. Even I don't know now, but as of 2017, this idea that you need a reservation was a very, a more American than anywhere else idea. Everywhere else like, yeah, we'll have stuff like, what can I arrange it? You're fucked if you don't. Yeah, right. You are screwed. No, just calm. Like, what if it's full? They're like, I doubt it will be full. Well, let me make sure. And they go, nah, we don't really do that. When we went to, when we climbed Kilimanjaro, I climbed with my brother and a couple other guys. Really? We just went and crewed up from scratch. We like picked guys out from the street in Tanzania. Yes, we went to this outfitter and we didn't go on the internet and find this thing ahead of time. We went to Moshe, Tanzania and we picked, we went, we bought the, you have to buy the permit. It's a climb to climb the thing. You're required by law to have, I think two porters per climber, but then you also have a guide. And then the guide, so the guide, we hired this guy, Tony, and they line up a bunch of African dudes and they say, okay, pick who you want to be the porters. Well, like a whorehouse? You pick them by food, by food, by their shoes. Whoever has the best shoes, you pick because you're climbing a 19,000 foot mountain. And these guys, they are the stars of that town. They're like the richest guys in there because you're paying them 500 bucks for a week, which is the richest thing you can do for a job there. Oh my god, the hotel's 10. Right. You know, and our security guard on our hotel. I'm all over the place here because I think the point of the Norway thing was that this cracked it open. I went with someone who knew the terrain. So I had a guide, my girlfriend, which is important. Right. And we went on from there. We had your real passes. We went from Norway, the next place we went to from Norway was Venice. It was three days on a train, transferring trains. I remember getting to Italy. Remember, this is the 90s. It was different. It wasn't as rich as it is now. And there were people and I was, first of all, I was so disappointed by Italy. I was like, man, fuck this place. These trains fucking suck. What? This food is fucking bullshit. The food is 100% hyped. This is not that great. This food is not that great. It's just fucking hyped up bullshit. Granted, I'm traveling on $10 a day. Or whatever it is. And I remember like how, because I'm coming from Scandinavia, how disorganized the train was. And we were waiting and waiting and waiting. And there was a family. They were taking the municipal train. They were moving. They had like tables and chairs and shit in a blanket. They took all their chairs and put it in a blanket tied or open it and we're like trying to cram it through the door of the train. And so then that didn't fit. So they had to take all the chairs and shit and bring them. They're moving on a train and we're waiting. You know, a thousand people are waiting. What? But then have you been to Venice? No. Holy fuck. It is. I went, it wasn't, it wasn't flooded. It was like dry. Because I think sometimes like during the rainy season, maybe in like spring or something, it gets the sea level comes up because it rains so much or something. So, so dry. I mean, you could walk in them. You could walk, there wasn't flooded. So you could walk. It's like, oh my god. Oh my, you cannot believe that this thing was fucking made. Like, you could make this place now. You're not, you're always lost. I'm always lost anyway. I don't have a good sense of direction. I have a terrible terrible town. Like does everything look the same? Yes. It's a street. It takes a half an hour. You go one block away to your, to from, to restaurant from your hotel. It'll take you an hour to find your hotel. Why? You've got to walk there that ups them back. It's just the streets. Some of the streets are 20 feet long. You can't see anything. There's no horizon. It's just you're in a hallway. The whole, it's like the beginning of snatch. Remember, did you remember that of the snatch when they're in the diamond district and they walk into a, it's like, it's all done on surveillance monitors and they walk into a hallway and then they take a left in that door and then they go in another hallway, take a right in that door. It's just like a maze. It's a whole city of that and then you have, there's a couple of place frames of references. There's the Piazza San Marco, the big plaza and then there's the Raiolto bridge, which is like the big bridge or I think Raiolto means bridge, whatever it is. The Raiolto. Parriolto or something and those are your, that's how you can triangulate and then there's like the water. It's a little overrun. It's totally overrun with tourists. Was it then? Was it overrun then? Yeah. Now it gets worse and worse, especially with the American tourists. Actually, don't travel. I love Tim Dillon is like, don't, don't travel. Stay home. Don't travel by plane. Stop. Yeah, please. There is a thing where it's like a lot of places like once you find out about them, it's too late. Yeah. But that, to me, that's like, instead of bemoaning how everything's ruined, just know there's other places that don't ruin yet. Do you have any willing to give up some luxury? Yeah. And you have to be a little risky. That's what's fun about Mexico now. Okay. Mexico now because of all of the press. And also, you know, it's a civil war. Yeah. You're going down into a civil war. There's fucking armored personnel vehicles in the streets. You go up into these middle of nowhere, little mountain towns. They'll be 10 like, they look like tanks, like armored personnel carriers, 50 caliber machine guns. Guys, military outfits, the Marines, says Marines on the side. That'll just be in the middle of nowhere. And it's just there, and you're going through checkpoints and you're getting papers checked. And there's militarized guys and guys with the masks and stuff. And that is everywhere. And the cartels are the guys in the police blue police uniforms. I remember watching cartel land after this. I was like, well, after going to Mexico and being like, those were the cartels. Are they like official? What's that? Our cartel like official? Are they like, yeah, we run this town legally, right? We've taken over. Since the, it's star, I read this book called dope. And it's about the relationship between the Mexican government, or governments, because they have states down there. Yeah. And the cartel. And it started during prohibition, because they were smuggling up like whatever, rum or whatever. They were smuggling up. So like Michoacán totally integrated the government and the cartels. It's all totally integrated. And here's a very interesting thing that I did not know. Mexico does not have a drug problem. Mexican kids don't do drugs. There's like one in 12 Mexican 18-year-olds has smoked weed. And in America, it's like nine out of ten or something like that. Is it just all export? Yeah. They just, they don't have the drug for whatever reason. Strong family, religion, I don't know. They don't have the drug problem. Also, can they afford the drugs? Yeah, I think so. I think it's really cheap. Oh, right. Good point. If you want to deal, if you can help it, you don't want to deal. That's interesting. But my point is like, it's legit dangerous. If you're smart, which I know about like the southern parts, what I'm going to do. Just don't do anything illegal. Don't I wouldn't buy drugs for sure. We're going to do something illegal and buy drugs. How are you going to not? I've only ever done it. No, I've never I did. How are you not going to buy drugs when you're like vacationing or traveling? You're not going to bring it with. Don't buy them in bulk. Okay, it's better advice. A little bit at a time when you need it. You know how like as soon as you start working out, you're not a workout guy, are you? I am. Okay. But when you start, yeah, or maybe you maybe you're on the other side of this, like, hey, I started to work out and then some guy who does it all the time, go, no, you got to do more legs. You got to do this. Yeah, shut the fuck up. I just started working out for the first time in a decade. Yes, yes, yes. So advice on this has to be like within reason. So it can be like, don't do anything illegal. Okay. Okay, you got to be like, you need to get your illegality. Just I remember I was overland. I did it. I've done a few trips, but one of them I did. My I think the one that was the one I needed most. Yeah, it was there was that winter in New York of like 13, 14 where it was like super snowy, super blah, blah, blah. I'm, you know, I was in I'm in AA and there was a bunch of people in AA killing themselves. It was a horrible, horrible winter. And I'd like prayed all winter. And that whole year was like, please dear God allow me to save enough money so I can spend the next winter in Mexico. I can't do this. I can't do this. And so winter 2014, 2015, I saved up enough money to go for four months. So I had this F 350 diesel pick up four by four truck and I brought a dirt bike on the back with big fat tires on it. And I went down to Wahaka for new years and then I went up the coast to Guerrero to this town called La Saladita to learn how to surf. And I would ride that motorcycle everywhere while I would just park the truck and I'd ride the motorcycle. And I remember I would road to the I rode to the grocery store and I filled a little bag up with groceries and wrote it back to the little camp where I was staying and I got pulled over by the cops and they were searching it and I was just being funny. I was like, are you hungry? Because he was searching my food and he was just like, no. And he closed it up. And then when I got back and watched Narco land I was like, oh my god, those are the Narco guys. Those are the cartel guys. They're looking to see if I have weed in there or whatever so that they can shake me down or whatever. And there's dogs, there's all that stuff when you, you know. But I have to say no, just be smart. You're a New Yorker, you'll be fine. It doesn't feel You're dangerous, you're so rough. - But you won't drive at night, right? - Don't drive at night, don't drive at night. - And why, 'cause that's when the bandits come out? - That's when the banditos come out, yeah. - Damn, yeah, don't drive at night. Plus the roads are bad, you're probably gonna break your car, you're probably gonna hit a pothole, you're probably gonna hit an animal. - When I was in Ecuador. - It's pitch black, there's no roads. - When I was in Ecuador, I've never seen roads there and East Timor were like the two worst roads. And it should be like on a mountain highway and then just a lane dropped out into like a cliff. And you're like, oh shit, and it's cloudy. And at some point, we're like, I can't drive at night anymore. - East Timor. - Yeah, that's the-- - Is it Africa? - No, it's in Indonesia. - Oh, oh, is that like the Tamil Tigers and stuff? - What is that, that's Africa. - No, Tamil Tiger. - Yeah, what is that? - It's not like MIA is the Tamil Tiger, that girl. - Tamil, Patelum. - Oh yeah, yeah, where's that? Aeration of Tigers of Tamil, Elam. - Shrewlock in India. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, East Timor. - East Timor, they had a civil war recently, right? - They're a new country, 2001 or two or three. - Okay. - The Portuguese pulled out, so it's actually yours. They were like a good colonizer of, they were like, we're just coming for coffee, we're not gonna start whipping you guys. So for like a hundred years, they were just like, we just want the coffee. And then they go, actually keep your, you should be free, like on their own. And then the Indonesians like, nope. And then they went in and fucking took over. So then they had to like drive the Indonesians out and that got bloody. But on their way out, they destroyed all the roads. They're like, we're destroying your infrastructure on the way out, so you cannot have a country that's successful. Yeah. They got a little bit of oil, it's gonna run out soon. So they're like, staying just off the super crisis level. And hopefully they get going before that. But I don't know what, but that's an unmapped place. You would love it. You get a moped or a motorcycle and just drive around the country. There's an island, bleep this, but I'll ask later if I should believe it. It's called Island. And it's a forest reserve island. You get a fisherman to take you across. There's nothing on there. And say, pick me up in three or four hours. And it's just like, it's the end of the world. There's nothing there and you gotta take these shitty, they go from like three lane highways to two to one to dirt, to like, you'll see a car stuck in a puddle and you take your moped or your bike around that puddle. If you like motorcycle, travel, that's my favorite. Yeah, and then the same thing, there's nothing mapped out. So you go, place to sleep, you learn, fought some discounts, so remember? And they go, yeah, yeah, that way. And then you ask over there, place to sleep. And they go, hold on, place to sleep. And they go, come on, back room, they feed you. I'm skiing on that. In Austria, I did a motorcycle trip. My first, I didn't know how to ride. I was like, I mean, I knew how to ride like a dirt bike around a farm. It was like my first time riding at a learner's permit. I didn't even have a real motorcycle license. And I was with Tom Sachs, who's my mentor. And he's like a famous artist. He's a very, he's in SACHS. He's in all the major contemporaries. I heard what sounds they're going to mind. There he is, that's my boy. Yeah. And so we had done a-- Cool. Yeah, we rented these, kind of trans Alps. And we did a lap around Austria. And yeah, you could go and stay at these gas houses. And it's a guest house. Yeah. And you just say, and I remember like we would pull our bikes into like a barn. And they'd have like an old table saw. This in the Alps? This big, yes. Gas house. That's what I learned, gas house. Yeah, yeah. And you don't have to arrange anything. This is where I was telling you about, went to the-- went to a spa that we found. We were riding. It was dark. We were outside of Innsbruck, right in between. I think Salzburg and Innsbruck. And it was dark. And we were riding. And it was freezing colds, October, and the Alps. And we rode by this building. And the building had like tubes coming out of it, like water slide tubes. And Tom pulls over. And he's like, let's go check that building out. And we pulled in. And it was like, for America, it would be like a five star spa that your wife would go to and bankrupt. You know, be like $1,000 a day. And we went in, and it was six euros to get in. And you had to be nude, because the wood was so soft. Your clothes would damage the wood. And it was nude, Austrian chicks. Even the moms are tens and nines. And they had a beach. We did a robics with the old ladies. They had a-- No, new robics. This you could be-- you could be clothed in that part. I would hope. You could be clothed in that part. Yeah, we had a weird angle. It was a sauna section where you had to have clothes. OK. There was a sauna section. But in that part-- and it was a pool, but it was like a beach. So it started out with like no water. And then it gradually got deeper. And then we did water robics with those ladies. They had water slides for the kids. You just came across it? Just came across it. And we were freezing. So it was like the perfect thing. And then we went up to Innsbruck and just got a hotel. I remember going to Switzerland. And we were in some really beautiful place where you get that. I love Swiss cheese, my favorite, and that prosciutto that they have there. And there was a man there. And he was like us. And we're these sophisticated artists from New York. But we're going to visit this guy named Note Vitaal, who's an international artist. And there was a guy-- he was just like an electrician. But he was so sophisticated. And he had the same food as us. And he had the beautiful blue overall jumpsuit. And I was just like, yeah, I like just a Switzerland. Everyone is sophisticated. He probably spoke three languages, or four, because they had-- All right. You know, there's that-- Do you try to go travel now? I don't like it anymore now that I got kids. I love overland with my kids. And like every Sunday, my boy is six. And he's into magnet fishing. Which do you know about this? This is like a YouTuber, the YouTube phenomenon. So you get like a rare earth magnet about the size of a Coke can. And it can pick up 250 pounds or something. Then you go into-- you find fresh water like ponds in public parks. And you just throw it in and pull it in. All right, we found-- OK, so we found multiple nitrous oxide tanks. We found a parking meter. We found chairs. Like a big nitrous tank? Like this big. Yeah. This big. Chairs. Like folding chairs. You know, like brand new leather men, like fisherman, drop them in accidentally. Two guns. Whoa. A 9-millimeter Ruger handgun. Whoa. Like a 30-ought six rifle. Whoa. In Echo Park, 10 minutes apart from each other. Two separate police reports. You're six years old. You're with your dad. I have a baby in a backpack. You reported it? You reported the gun? You got I had, too. I'm a gun. I'm traceable. That's the revenge gun. I know, but this is a revenge gun. I wasn't going to get this thing working. It was like all the-- OK, blah, blah, blah. What a rifle. The right for just in case. Yeah. If you want to go, like, I want to commit a crime, and I can't have this come back to me. I found a gun in Echo Park, pond. It got to the point where I'm like, we're not going back to Echo Park. It's too much of a pain in the ass to report these. We're one of the fuckers. We found a rifle, like 10 minutes. It was his fantasy. You're finding guns. Because the YouTuber's always finding guns. Best case scenario. I've got a kid. I can show you pictures of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. And we found the rifle. But now you're in Los Angeles. You've got a fucking rifle in your hand. It took the cops 40 minutes to get there. It was like, oh, we were just investigating a murder suspect. Well, this might-- I was like, man, fuck it. This might solve it. Were they involved in anything? The guns? Did they tell you? They could you keep track? We went-- there's this place that we ended up calling Bullet Park. It's in Encino. It's this duck pond. And we found so many magazines of Bullets there that the second time we brought the magazines in, the cop, he didn't expressly say this because he'd probably not allowed. He was like, he was-- we were interrupting his lunch. We were turning them in. They're slimy. They're discussing. And he's like, you know, we can't get fingerprints off this. So it's really no help for us if you were to bring this. He's just telling me to throw them in the garbage. Yeah. Stop bringing these in because we can't do anything with it. And I get to do all this fucking paperwork and I'm in the middle of my-- Just to show the stuff we got right. I'm in the middle of my pen to express. So that brings us on all these little micro adventures all over LA County with Mike, because I have an 18-month-old. So we can't do like-- we used to do dirt biking trips all over LA County before the baby was born, because we both have like electric dirt bikes. So now we do-- we have this-- You're your lady. What's that? Who's your lady? My boy and me. Am I lady? OK. She would take-- that was-- I recommend this. If you have kids, do one weekend day, mom gets the kids. One weekend day, dad gets the kids. So you get a break. Did it get a break? You get a break. Oh, yeah. From the kids. And so our thing that we're doing now is magnet fishing. And we go-- It's so cool and just fine shit. Because you just go on the internet and you look for-- you either search for public parks with ponds. And so now we're finding all these places that we would never go in-- It's a werewolf guy in the werewolf movie. The really hot one. Some of the V or Z. I know who you're talking about. Was he-- did he get a like guy? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. did he get punched in the head? echo park was some one of them was trying to I mean definitely that one's a part of the story but trying to but score yeah and then got beat up like was he there yeah was it echo park was that like it's a good city at night with heroin yes it would be really bad we went to one park I think it's called like I want to say it's MacArthur Park but isn't that it's that oh maybe but maybe it's the same guy what's like right there for leaps it's near one of those famous delis yeah yeah yeah not the one here no I think Philippe with the azure was like right around there not the leaps it's something else I know you're talking about yeah French dip yeah yeah that park is like oh it's nice you like you got to get the out before sundown is there water in there because we haven't hit that one yet oh you got to go to that one yeah oh yeah you're gonna find some knee doles yeah you're gonna just come up with a bunch of pointy yeah yeah yeah but the point is like that's a way that that we still okay we you know you you talk about physi like psycho psycho geography where you go with a little mission yeah fixing your tire so we do that within Los Angeles we do the little mission in ours is magnet fishing so it brings us to all these and we kind of do it we have all day Sunday so we can go far far away we went up to like big bear lake up at like seven thousand feet a couple weeks ago and went magnet fishing yeah didn't find it and didn't found like fish hooks didn't find shit but then we went to the library on the way home you what went to the Ronald Reagan library on the way home that's nice if we go to the Anderson's split-piece soup no it's like most of the way up to San Fran okay just as old Dutch people they're known for split-piece soup Anderson split-piece you don't know I'm gonna go off on the PCH by the way if you go to the the Ronald Reagan public presidential library you have his Air Force one what do you mean his his his the jet his basketball shoes oh okay they have his whole jet in a huge huge huge hanger right you can go on it was either first one with a jet no no okay you can go on it cool and you can go on the how the marine one helicopter and I got to tell you it's not a seven forty seven like Trump has and like Obama had it's not the big giant one it's like a seven three seven or something yeah it sucks it's sucks it's like a fucking post office on the inside it's federal government you're like oh I used to think this was so it wasn't luxury not it what it's gross it's like that fake wood veneer shit and that's the small seats and even the presidential like the bed the presidential bedroom is like this it's just like a backer RV belts that go across the bed they didn't know what they're doing that's so funny but now the seven the seven forty seven one I bet is fucking awesome like chairs like turn yeah like big quick king-size bed there is something to travel in America it's like don't forget about this place it's big oh you know it's I know this isn't to scale it's your works but it's like it's the whole fucking thing yes so like there's crazy shit all over oh yeah yeah yeah it's like cool that you're doing those two oh yeah I've done old fucking East Coast because I lived out of the New York for 20 years I grew up in the northeast I was born in Maine so all of that New England stuff done it all I haven't done any of the middle stuff none of that michigan stuff none of that well Montana will be cool Montana I've done that's yep I've done it but Montana will be really cool if you go floating I've done it in West Virginia it's just like the tube yeah yeah it's the most fun it's so relaxed I mean I don't know how it is if you're not drinking I assume it's close do you do anything or no nothing not even wait no I would smoke a cigarette I smoke us one cigarette if my friend dies that's nice it's like a tribute yeah I'm gonna fuck it a couple people I know guys save a month I have two coming don't do them back to back yeah it's so fun you just like chill eat some fruit but you got a cold yeah but a little bit but it's so hot out okay and then when you got a piss you just jump in the one on Montana was like the water was never further up than your chest okay we walk along with it piss while you're walking jump right back in think I could do it with an 18 month old if you're not drinking I put it like a light preserve it gets a lot of sun okay yeah yeah if you're with when does this air do you think I don't know okay because isabel's birthday we're gonna be up there and I we have a whole little my wife's birthday we're gonna be in Missoula so I have a bunch of little activities and that's one of the ones that's on there is like float the blah blah blah river whatever the river is oh I'll tell you I know someone who went to school there knows all what are you looking for tips yeah just something that fancy ladies would like up there like the flu game in Missoula is great everyone has their their own like either stand up paddle board that you inflate or a big double sometimes triple ones I'll see you like a book put the kids in the boat it's like a little some of the past stuff I don't want to buy this no you can rent it okay or you can find someone there who who can I borrow your shit or go to Walmart and get like a fifty dollar one or something oh yeah for sure but also like yeah I'm trying to think how you would do I have a waste problem where I'm like I don't buy anything use it once even it's cheaper than give it a I need someone to get it from it same so like who's could I inherit it yeah we I had a friend there so she was like I'll hook it up and so she had her own then she's like I know my friends are not going flowing today I'll just we'll just go by their places get their either tubes or paddle boards or and you switch off oh you get some fruit and shit and and like sandwich meat for whatever there's places you can like pull off it's gotta be the same one if it's by Missoula okay it's gotta be the same one do them to get you like where it is yeah okay yes are you saying does it you want this to come out before so you can get tips on it I'm just saying I don't want to spoil it for her if it comes out before right I'll hold it you know oh that's cool thank you that's sweet that's sweet that's sweet but yeah America is a different set of it's a different it's definitely overland you definitely want to do it by car you want to do it by car Route 66 is dad ish but still it's cool we did Route 66 when we went to Utah for my my boys for his third birthday so he was only two we went and this was kind of like a fancy thing okay I went with my friend Yineave Shulman and you know who that is yeah you know who he is because he's the catfish guy on MTV you know the term catfish getting catfished yeah he invented it was he invented his brothers he started doing the one yes wow yes and he had a show called catfish I don't know people who have been catfished I remember they showed me the rough cut and I said you should call this movie catfish and they said that's what we're thinking why catfish you have to see them that there was first there was a documentary and it's him getting catfished and so that's how you know it's this is the story this is what it is it's when I can't remember what species of fish it is let's say it's salmon so when they're shipping salmon if they're being shipped too long in a container they will stop moving and they'll atrophy and they'll die so they throw a catfish in there because the catfish goes in and wrecks everything and is bothering them and it keeps the salmon or whatever the fish is fit oh wow and so there's this guy in the I'm giving the movie away but in the end of the movie the person who catfished mev my friend you need her either her husband or her brother or something is like you know and he tells the story they when I just told about the catfish and he's like and that's what whatever her name is that's what Becky or whatever that's what she is she's like she's that she's stirring everything up to keep everybody it's just such a beautiful poetic thing and so that's where that's where it comes from but it's in that I mean I'm a longstanding troll yes and I've can't believe I've never thought of from the catfishers point of view yeah what a high-level thing to get some guy hooked on sexuality yeah from just you you're like texting some guy I want you to fuck my pussy oh you know and some dude is like because you wear right now I was I was knees friend we were all buddies when this was happening when this was unfolding in real time what in his brother Ariel Shulman and he's a directing duo called Supermarshay with Henry Juice so Ariel and Henry just they've done like Jamie Foxx movies and stuff they this was their like first feature they're they just were like Nev is so Nev is getting scammed like this is horseshit and it was this complicated thing that kept unfolding and she kept sending these pictures of beautiful women but the thing is Nev has always been a fucking apex predator killer lady like he dated like the entire New York City Ballet wow like he is his girls have always been dance above and his wife is like his wife has three kids and she's knockout perfect body like this is this is just his standard but this was like in the [BLANK_AUDIO] - He's not like it's nothing weird. He's like, this seems right right for him. - It's the earliest days of Facebook. And so this lady, and Eve is like traveling all over the world. You know, we do all these things. He has like his Facebook's really interesting. He lives in New York City, he's gorgeous. He's a good dancer. He knows all these people. And so this lady sees his thing and like she just wants to vicariously be in that thing. And they sort of like fall in love with each other. And then he meets this lady and she's just, you know, she's a regular American, like kind of housewife lady. And she has like a special needs daughter that she has to take care of. And so she's kind of trapped in this, like, just regular American kind of, you know, not tragic, but not exciting New York lifestyle. And it was just kind of like an entertainment thing for her. - And then she met him and she was like, no, I've been faking it. That's how I look like. - And the way they did this movie. - They did it all real time with like GoPro and shit. It's called catfish. - Wow. - Yeah, universal about it. - Wow. - Oh, wait, oh nine. - Oh, 2012. Yeah, there it is, there it is. And they go and they like track her down and they get these like, they have to figure it out. It's like a mystery. It's so good. - Wow. - Yeah. - All right, I'll watch that. I'll add that to the list. - I forgot where I was, how do we get on catfish? - We get on catfish. Going overland travel, overland. You did it with your friend, maybe. Let's get there. I'm gonna, I am a pothead, you're not. We can get there. - Okay. We were talking about Montana. We were talking about floating down the river. - Yeah. - We were talking about. - It's waiting on something because you don't want to have a ruin. - He's the guy that we got the flat tires with, by the way. - Oh really? - The main guy in that movie, yes. He didn't get the flat tires. Our friend John got the flat tires, but he helped change him. How do you get all your friends to go do this stuff with you? - Well, this was, we were all single, none of us had kids, and we were all relatively successful. We had, you know, my brother and I had done the HBO series. We did a series that went on HBO, and we had like a little bit of money. - What series? - It was called The Nice That Brothers, and so my brother's like a big famous YouTuber, Casey Neistat. - How are you both going in YouTube? - Well, he went first, and he made, he got really rich and really successful, and he went from HBO, and then he did this vlog, where he did 800 days in a row, he uploaded a video, and these are complicated videos. These are high production videos, and he's just making him himself. So he's a fucking badass. He's my other brother. - So funny, my two brothers are two siblings, anywhere but in the public eye, differently, not like doing the same thing. - But we get confused, which works out great for me, because he's super, super successful. - Really? It was that great. - I got an email once, and saying, "Ari's, do you want to come to a spot at the Improv?" On a big, important night. And I was like, "Yeah, sure, I'd love to do that show." Was this meant for me, or "Ari Spheres?" 'Cause you said "Ari's." And they go, "Oh, it is." No, sorry, you might have put "Ari Spheres." And I was like, "Well, do you have stage time?" They go, "No, it's full that way." And I'm like, "You just said you had a spot open." In the email, you said we have an opening. Oh, like damn. - So what happened? - We didn't get the spot. Yeah, but yeah, it could be a convince for a, next up for cases. - People watching, remember what road we were going down when I-- - People watching, remember. That's why I need a producer, those are the moments. - Yeah, yeah. - So wait, Montana, overland travel. - Yes, catfish. - Catfish, what, how'd you get catfish? Something about-- - Something about him. - Yeah, something about meave. Something about-- - Hot women. - And the lady catfishing meave. And where the turn comes from? - Going fishing, no. - No floating. - I think it's right after Montana. I can get. - This is weed, don't smoke weed. - But also you, so do some-- - Yeah, but I said, weed's what brought me in. - Oh, right. - Who weed is what poisoned me? - Fuck, I don't remember. - Let's find something else for a second. And then if it comes back, it comes back. This Google destroyed this muscle in our brain. Remember when you'd have to kind of, and you could let it go, and you'd go back to it, and you'd let it go, you're trying to think of a word. - Google destroyed it. Are you just looking up? - Yeah. - Yeah, we're on this fucking. For me, one of those that I have right now that is Sam Tripoli. - Yeah, what? - 'Cause there's so many Sam, there's Sam Talent. There's Sam, there's one that begins with an M. There's so many Sam-- - Samaril. - Samaril. - Yeah. - It's Sam Tripoli. I know Sam Tripoli. I went on his podcast with Johnny Woodward and the Broken Sim podcast. - Okay. - So whenever I want to tell people that I went on Sam Tripoli, I can't get the Tripoli. I'm like, "Martini, my mama." - This is just so weird, it's such blocks. I'm certain things. - So I just wrote it down and put it on a post-it note. "Oh my desk, and I look at it every day. I'm trying to burn it into my bed." - Sam Tripoli is the, you know, the tip of the spear? - Yes. - For the army. - Yes. - Going for us this. - Yes. - He's that for comedy. - He is. - He goes after. - So hard to his own detriment. Anyone who comes against us? - God bless him. - You just need him to say like horrible public things about people that you might run into, like, thanks Sam. We weren't gonna say it out of like awkwardness or whatever, but he is just like. - Wow. - Yeah. - Wow. After I did his podcast, I was like, can I say that I know you? (laughing) - I love Sam. - We used to do podcast together. - So you're done traveling? - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So. - Or are you gonna pick it up? - Oh, I know what it was. - Okay. - Yes. - All right. - Yes. - All right, that's all I'm sorry. - It was, so you're done traveling. Okay, so Meeve, he's got little kids now. Now he's got three kids. So back when he had two kids, he sent me, he was like, I'm signing up for this trip, you wanna come. And it was this, it's called, dads and kiddos, Dune Buggy Adventure. - And this is not a Nambler thing? - No, no, no. - Okay, okay. - This is bothers in their kids. - Okay. - And you get a. - Dune Buggy Adventure. - Like a can-am side-by-side. You know what those are, or a side-by-side is? - Like the side car? - No, it's like a four-wheeler, but it's a car. - Okay. - So it's like a, it's like a side-by-side. Can-am Maverick. Can-am Maverick, there you go. So images? - Oh, cool. - Okay, so that little thing, it weighs like 1200 pounds. It has 200 horsepower. It has more horsepower than an 80s Corvette. - Wow, really? - They are so fast. Turbocharged engine, automatic transmission, four-wheel drive on the fly. So you get one of those and you go off under these into the woods of Utah. You start in St. George, Utah. - Yeah. - And you got, I have a little two-year-old in a car seat with a bicycle helmet. It's like a five or seven-day camping trip. Through, you go up, your first night is in Zion National Park and you go through the woods camping to a Bryce Canyon. - They go everywhere. - And there's a whole bunch of little, X was the littlest. My son was the littlest because he was not yet three. And we're going 80 miles an hour. It's dust everywhere. You can just see the brake lights ahead of you. You're off-road, an animal and blah! You have a motorcycle guy, blah! I look over. He's asleep. - What? - He just, he fell asleep. He's just born adventure. He's from Topanga, Kenya. He's a thick of born. He'd been riding for a year. He'd been riding on my bike going off-road. I had an electric bike and we'd do all these things. - Off to care? - So that's the kind of travel I love to do. So you meet, we met in Vegas. Me and it was that break during the pandemic in 2022 when the vaccine came out, before they figured out that it didn't work. And you didn't have to wear a mask anywhere. And it was like, freedom. And so he-- - There was that couple months where you're like, sick, it's over. - This was it. This was it. It's July 2022. - Yeah, that's about right. - So I hadn't seen, Neve, and so long. I hadn't seen anybody since it was put in pandemic. It was two years of pandemic. - Yeah. - And no, it was 2021, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Sorry, it was one year of pandemic. And we meet in Vegas. We drive, everybody else like flew in, but we drove to Utah. - From Vegas. - Yeah, there's this big giant hangar with all the side by side. These are top of the line, side by side. The trip, now this sounds a lot. This sounds really expensive. - Yeah. - I think it is like, but not for you, it's five grand. It was $5,000, which is kind of a lot. - No, it's a lot. - It's a lot of money for a week, right? - Yeah. But they have a, you get the week though, okay? - A week, but they have a chase truck with like chefs and every night, and they set up your tent and they break down your tent. - Wow. - And you carry all your gear in this, it's a four-seater. So he sits shotgun, and then you got the helmets, and you just all day through the woods. And really fast. - So it's five grand all in? - It's five grand all in? - It's not five grand, just for the RVs. - No, no, it's five grand all in with the food and everything. - Wow. - And so it was-- - It's not terrible for a week. - And Neve had the only girl-- - Five grand each, five grand, five grand, four grand. - Five grand for me and him. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, five grand for both of us. So Neve had his daughter, she was the only girl on the trip. She's very, very intelligent. And she was like, Dad, can I ride in the truck with the food guy? - So she got like air-conditioned truck. - She's from Brooklyn. - She's like, I don't wanna do this. - I don't wanna do this. - But that kind of travel-- - Wow, that's fun. - That kind of travel, I love to do with my kids. And so it's this, it's this for five days. - Wow. - And there was some days where we got-- - I'm really going fast, huh? - There was a day where it got dangerously hot. All right, it was, we were down, up at altitude, it was nice and cool. But then we were down, this is July and Utah, and we were down, and it was 118 degrees, and we were on the highway. You can ride these things in Utah on the highway. We're on the freeway, we were going like 70, 80, and the air was hotter when you were driving fast. The wind, I don't understand what the phenomenon is, but the wind was hotter at 80 than it was at like 20. - Miles and hour. - Yeah, I don't know what, I don't understand the phenomenon. - The hot winds. - The kids were getting like dangerously overheated, and so we like pull over, get ice creams and waters and all of this stuff. It was so great. And that's when he was-- - You like it, I love the positive trend. - He just been potty trained. My boy had just been potty trained. And so, you know how like some city kids, they can't like shit anywhere, but they're on toilet. Like they can't shit at hotels or restaurants or something. So he had just been potty trained, and we, at some of these campsites, you have to dig a hole and shit in it, right? When we got home, he asked if he could dig a hole in the yard and shit in it. Like he can shit, this kid can shit. - Should you let him? - This kid can shit on the side of the highway. No, I didn't. 'Cause this is my yard, and the coyotes dig it up. - I get where you're saying, let's just keep this a lot hotter travel. This trip, we have a night in, back in Zion, where we're doing primitive camping, where we have the shit. I mean, we're gonna have a land cruiser full of stuff, but where we're gonna have the shit. And we have dirt, we have electric dirt bikes. - And you have a land, okay. - Yeah. - Oh, shitting in the woods, shit digging that hole, and then aiming for it, holding your balls up. And then just-- - You find a fucking tree that's fallen, and you can sit on that-- - Sit above. - That's your little toilet, come on. - It's so great. - You're just wiped, done, fill it in, you're done. - Yeah, and you're sitting at that Asian angle, too. - So that's the way about clogging the toilet? - Barried in there with it? - As much. (laughing) - That's right. - Just keep going. - There's no courtesy flush. This mail comes up, but then the air kind of wafes it out. - Yeah, yeah, you get that cool breeze on your asshole. - That's fun, 'cause a lot of people go, hey, once I had kids, I couldn't really do anything. It sounds like you're still committed to doing it, and including them, which is like what-- - You need a little bit more money. You need a little money. And so the Mexico trip was that? - You know, when we went down to Guerrero-- - So when you-- - We had electric pedal bicycles, and then he has a little electric dirt bike that goes, because that one went 12 miles an hour. His new one goes 15. And so when we would get to these little towns in Mexico, we'd park the truck at the hotel, and then we'd, this is all around the little towns. And then when we got down to Guerrero, we rented this house on the water, and we stayed there for about a, I think, a month. And we would just, those electric bikes were like our car. We would ride to little breakfast places. There was a bridge, and the water had-- - And he's trying to ride it, he rides them? - Oh, he's really good. Yeah, he can go through the woods like an extension of his body. - No license needed? - Nope, it goes 15. - That's so cool. - It started when he was three, he started riding that thing. - That's so cool. - Easier to ride to learn for the kids, easier to learn than the pedal bicycle. - Four wheels. - No, it has two wheels, no, no, no. It's a little two-wheeler dirt bike. - Oh, okay. - Yeah, it's called a Stasic, S-T-A-C-Y-C-K, I think. - Oh, wow. Okay, so you ride those around. That seems more right than those four-wheelers. - Yeah, so that thing hauls, and there's three different sizes. There's 12 inches, which is the little tiny one. 16 inches, which is what you're looking at. - Look at this little cage, she's like, yeah. - So my point is like that kind of overland adventure travel. Like, we do once a year, we go to, like, we go to see, we go to the East Coast, like, we went to Florida this year, we went to Nantucket. - You surprised him, he let him know it's coming. And what's it prepared for mentally? - I let him know that this one was coming, but the Florida one, I think we just surprised him that day. We were like, we want to Florida right now. - Wow. - And he was like, we did that first. - He's gonna be a wild adult. - Yeah, he's wild now. He's bad, he's like a bad kid. - But I mean, like, he's gonna be, like, spontaneous, and like a fun guy. - I hope to God. - I mean, what can I teach him? We're in this AI world. What can I teach him? I can't teach him his career stuff, all the way around. - You can teach him that. You know those two people were like, "Uh, should we go down there?" And some were like, "Let's go down there." - Yeah, yeah. - He's gonna be the second. - The Topanga kids are this. They're all, 'cause they're all, like, they've all killed rattlesnakes in their yards. We've killed five rattlesnakes. They can kill your kids. So it's like a tradition. If you find a rattlesnake, this is from Joan Didian. It's a California tradition. If you see a rattlesnake, you kill it, because it can kill the next person. - So-- - You don't just let it go off? - No. - Some people real okay. - Joan Didian said that. That's so fun. - Yeah, it's a tradition. - Yeah. - That's so funny. You're a full California guy now, huh? - Well, since the fires, the fires broke my heart. The fires destroyed L.A. And I'm so disenchanted. And everything everybody said about L.A. and people live in a fantasy world. It really came, when you're confronted with the real world and you're still living in a fantasy world, it gets very dangerous. - What do you mean fantasy world? - People are just like, well, the fires are just part of it. This is part of living here. No, they're a preventable phenomenon. They could have done, they can do controlled burning. They can do all of this mitigation that they just don't do. They divert it all the money for public rail. They spend billions and billions on public rail and they cut the fire funding. And they didn't have these fires in the 80s. The climate has not changed. - Well, it's also PG&E. Well, they just say, they're responsible. - Yeah, there's that. They don't bury the power lines. Because every time they're like, "Hey, you got to do some safety stuff." They go, "Or shareholder dividends." - Yeah. - We can raise those. And then they go, "Well, fine, you know, they go, where you're not going to replace us." - Yeah. - It's going to be 10 years. - And the fires I haven't seen the profit. - Right, it's going to be 10 years before you get a new power company in here. So they'll have no power for 10 years. - Yeah. - Kick us out. - Yeah. - So you won't do shit. - It's that, but at every single layer, no water in the fire hydrant zone. - Yeah, but even like Earthquakes, so there's Earthquakes in L.A. - Yeah. - When you go, when I went to my first apartment there, I was like, is it just like sort of shaky, like it gives. We build these things to give a little bit. - Yeah. - So it's not rigid, or just collapse. - Yeah. - Yeah, there's preventable stuff. There's stuff that's kind of happening. - It's horseshit that it's nature and bubble of things. - Do you lose things? - No, thank God, they fucking saved our neighborhood. They saved. But to Panga, I'm worried about to Panga, because Malibu burned, it got rid of all the fuel. - That's to the north, that's to the, I'm just going to say north, it's not exactly the north of us. But that's to the north of us, and then palisades is to the south of us, and those burned. So all the fuel has gone, all the brush has been burned, it's gone. Panga, they haven't cleared it. - They haven't cleared it. - The fire didn't come up into the town, so there's still tons of fuel, tons of brush, tons of trees falling over. - So what do they got to do with controlled burns? - They're just going to leave it until it burns. I mean, it's a whole rant that I could go, I made an episode about this, where I'm like, it's like real time me finding out about it, out running the fires, going back on my dirt bike, going back to the house. It's like saying goodbye to the house. - Because you thought it might not have come back. - It took his first steps, blah, blah, blah, you don't know all the powers out. - It's, I would go-- - Did you wear your own shirt? - Yeah. - That's so funny, I was looking at that logo the whole time, they're like, wait, what's this? What I've seen this before, okay. - That's, oh that episode is about, there's an episode where I explain exactly how I-- - How to do a podcast? - You should check this TV to 24 frames per second, it's at 30 or 60. Anyway, video-- - What, what, what, what? I should check what? What do you just say? - I'm just, this is a filmmaker-dorky thing, but if you, you see how it kind of looks like a soap opera. You can't really tell, but it's, there's something soap opera-y the other way it looks. - Yeah. - That's because your, this TV is set to 30 frames per second. - Okay. - So it, it's 30 frames per second, whereas film is 24 frames per second, it's a little bit more strobe a scot. - So I should change the setting? - I don't know yet, don't do it now. - Okay, I won't do it now. - It will make, like, this looks terrible to me because of the frame rate. - Yeah. - But um, so if you go, one of the videos, what, what were we just talking about? - Uh, oh, the fires. - Yeah. - Uh, click videos at the top of the channel, see how it's gonna be at home videos, and then pop that out. - What is it, you just explain every week something? - It's a catastrophe, escaping the LA fires. - Uh-oh. - God, I've been very cut, I'm cutting way back on the. - Cut test. - Have you seen any of these videos that I've made? - So one on building out a something, it's been a while since I first contacted you, I saw one. - Okay. - And then. - This one's pretty good. - It happened in the, when did you first contact me? Was it before? - I felt like almost a year ago. - Okay, so then this is after that. - Yeah. - But that, I have the map to show you where the fires, so that's my road, that's on my road, and I'm looking south towards my house. - Um. - House. - It's the house. - It's such a cutesy way to talk about, terrible shit. Damn. - Is the vibe recovered, that there? - Yes, and that's what's a little scary. - 'Cause it's beautiful now. - Because it's beautiful now, 'cause all the brush got burned back, it rained after that. - Yeah. - And then that's all this lush grass, but it's not overgrown, it's beautiful now. And here's the thing that's, that's, um. But then, so that's, everything's fine. But Malibu is decimated, the palisades in Malibu were gems. These were places that we would go on the weekends, where we would met our families. They're beautiful little villages, they're wonderful gems. So but they're rich places. Malibu for sure, you know Tim Dylan, but Tim Dylan says about Palisades. He says it's where the working rich live and it's the people who busted their ass and they've earned those eight million dollar houses, right? You know a lot of entertainment. I think didn't Tom and and and Christina have a place up there? Didn't they have like a recording studio? I think his place. He had already sold it. Okay. I think it's gone. Okay. Right. My buddy lost half his old out, but he already left. Steve. So after the fires, right? There were huge rains and floods. And this is people aren't talking about this. Okay. They went right all that all those burned up batteries and plastic and beds and furniture, all that stuff emulsified into ash and went down into the ocean. So now when you're walking in Malibu, I am 50 years old and I have never seen a dead sea lion on a beach. I've always lived on the coast my whole life. I had never seen a dead sea lion on my beach and I saw one a month ago or two months ago. The water is poison. The water is poison. And there's local footage. There's like local Instagram threads and and and groups where like they just bulldoze that poison sand. They just churned it into with the clean sand. So there's poison. There's mercury in there. There's and it's killing the baby dolphins are washing up. All kinds of sea life. They're doing people are doing independent toxicology, sampling and the water's fucking poison. So now we can we don't have the beach. But the people are just pretending, oh, we're going to rebuild. I've heard that there's there's something like 6,000 structures burned. So there it is. That's the penguins. I start crying on camera like my voice cracks. I'm like, that's a panga. I think that that's my house. It's also look how fast it's going. It doesn't go fast. That's the thing I didn't realize. It does not go fast. I was a little bit more panicky, panicky than I needed to be because it goes a little bit slowly. It's a little slow. They know what they're going to be able to stop and they know what they're not going to be. I thought it was like, oh, it's not. It's less than a mile an hour. I was in me and Marna hike and there was like a brush fire and it was like over there. But I'm saying like three football fields, four football fields, maybe seven or eight football fields. I'm like, oh, wow. Cool. And then it was like, oh, it's like two football fields away now. Like, hey, let's move. But it would happen within like six or seven minutes. So I don't, yeah, it was like, yeah, so this was slower. This was slower, yes. But also they had suppression. They had fire departments. They had so. And the problem, the thing that made it so catastrophic or it was that the winds were a hundred miles an hour. They couldn't get any air craft up. And then some kid was flying. And you know, he was made out to be a villain. Okay. Some kid was flying a drone trying to get footage. And one of the one of the fire suppression hit it and it grounded the plane. It like one in a million. It like smashed up and it grounded the plane. And they had rented at least these planes from Canada. Why the fuck don't we own those planes? By the way, it was just like I try to get people like the better for the doubt where it's like the winds where I saw tractor trails returned over like winds. That's so that would have happened without the fire that wind. Yeah. So it's like that is not a thing that happens much. No. And then also like the drought, drought, drought to rain and then dead trees. New brush suddenly. Yeah. And suddenly become twigs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I mean, just hated the world that I mean, they went to like, here's what you did wrong. Like it's still burning. Some compassion. Yeah. Yeah. But no, it was a gross, gross, gross incompetence. And I've been listening to these stories. I've been listening to people who've lived there for generations. And like, you know, there's like, this is guy Michael Shellenberger. He wrote San Francisco. He ran for governor. But he talks about in 1870 or 1880, two million acres of California would burn every year. Now it's like 10,000 acres because we came in with our technology and we have this licked. This is a licked problem. This is not a problem. What happened was they diverted the funds to homeless people to the homeless industry, which grew the homeless. There's more homeless now. And they diverted the funds to light rail, which they never built. And it was from a town nobody gives a shit about that to a town nobody gives a shit about. And that was 200 and something billion. And that was diverted from the forest management money. Plus you have the people voting. That's my road. You have the people voting. And then people are just like, nah, turning around like they were turning around by there's a fire brigade guy there. It's like it's closed at the bottom. So this is me. Wow. Yeah. But it broke my heart. It broke my heart because I think we might, I think we're going to probably move. Really? We're probably going to move to Austin like everybody else. Austin blows, bro. It's not, I mean, every time I come home from Austin, I was just like, I'm just like, man, it's not like this. It's fine. But it's like, it's like, it's got no class. It's got no like style or like, it's kind of like Brooklyn. It's like, want to be Brooklyn a little. It's like, it's like Brooklyn now. Yeah. It's like, it's like, there's a bunch of influencers and people take a picture of food and like, no offense, no offense. You make videos. You're not an influencer. But like, I don't know. It's just, I don't think it's a go or there. Oh, it's just got no, it's got no, I don't know, fashion or just like, there's nothing to it. It's our West Village girls, the whole city's city full of West Village girls. Okay, today is a Friday. Okay, it's not a holiday or anything. I was just in the West Village. 90% of the girls women are in workout clothes. This was at nine o'clock. There's West Village girls. They don't belong there. They got cheap rents in the pandemic. Oh, is that what happened? There's a thing you can spot them. I thought I was dad's paying rent. There's some of that. Okay. Or they're sharing three or four of a place. And they all dress exactly the same, but want to step off. Like, you can see a bunch of goth people and like, you guys are sheep. Like, you're, you're wearing a uniform. Yes. You're both I know this thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I have conventions. Yeah. Exactly got time. Yeah. Yes. So they all look the same. It's like pulled back hair with pony tails. Sometimes it's the, it's the halter top or whatever the top is that shows a little bit of belly. Yep. The, the young, the young pants out. Yeah. They all love lattes. Yes. They love meeting for lattes. Yes. They're off. They're out. They're off. They're always off. Yeah. And they're working like advertising and their boyfriends work in like the Wall Street. Okay. And or tech bros. Yes. And they, and now they're invading here. And I guess it's the work from home stuff. Work from home. That's why they're out at nine thirty or whatever because they're working till eight at night. Yeah. I can't watch this anymore. Okay. Yeah. So depressing. And so what happened was Ari, we, um, I have a, I rent. I don't want to disclose where it is. But in Calabasas, I have a studio, like an office, but it's like I turned into a studio. Fucking love it. So there's a hotel nearby. So as soon as the power went out, I went and got reserved a hotel room in Calabasas at the Hilton. So you can still work. So the family could, yeah, so this family could leave Topanga because they closed Topanga. Um, and then and we had electricity. And so we went and we were staying in in the Hilton garden in. And then there was a fire that guy with the fucking flame thrower thing. Let a huge fire across the street from the Hilton. And now the winds were blowing the fire towards Calabasas. The Topanga fire, the Palisades fire was being blown away from Calabasas. So now the fire has just taken our hometown and now it's coming for the hotel where we're staying and we can see it and we can see the smoke. So then we had to do the same thing. Pack all the kids up, pack up the stroll, pack up the trucks, pack up the car. And then we had to go and we fled to Sherman Oaks where Casey's in laws live. Thank God they were in South Africa and they said, just take the house. Whoa. And uh, it was just, it was scarier than September 11th. That was in the Westfield. I was on 13th and 8th on September 11th, 2001. This was scarier. It was relentless. It was day after day. It was relentless. Yeah, 9/11 was like, well, it's over now tomorrow. So it's already done. F-16. It was like, okay, well, the military is going to protect us. We're on it. Yeah. And it's over. And also the New Yorkers camaraderie, man, there's like, I wasn't here for it. We were all, where were you? Wasn't that low? Okay. It was silent. No one briefed their horns for like a week. Really? Silent. No horns. And also, remember, I don't know if you saw footage. They had that, have you seen so-and-so across from St. Vincent's Hospital? They would be to print out of like, have you seen so-and-so? There was like thousands of them that became a shrine. But on September 11th, people had them pinned to their clothes. Just in case you were walking by. They were walking. And you would see these people. And you'd make eye contact with them. And you're like, oh my god, they're dead. It's like lost cat interpango. Yeah. That's true. It's kind of a coyote or a hawk. I've come across like a half a pet skull. Okay. Hiking up there. And it's like, yeah, this is where all your pets can't have a pomeranian up there. Last night, you know, it was two nights ago. We had a coyote NRER just like, we have a little kid. Yeah. And there's pictures from down the hill from Calabasas. There's videos. You can see a lot of them of coyotes grabbing kids and taking them. Little two-year-olds. So I'm, I'm like, don't you let her out there by herself. I didn't go any further. X, you get out there and watch your sister. And then he's been trained, I was like, you do not run from these creatures, you scare them, but he's so aggro that he would-- - So run after you. - Get his BB gun or a rock or whatever, hatch it. - Go to Marfa, that'd be better for you. - I've been to Marfa, it's a little contrived. - No, okay. - It's a little-- - Yeah, I've not been there so I'm going off the-- - Oh, okay, yeah, no, I've been there. It's beautiful, but it's very-- - No, yeah, like Austin enough. If you live outside Austin, maybe-- - Austin will be good, they have a race track. - I have two kind of little galaxies there that are both little communities there. My friend owns my friend, Alan Stolberg, he owns, it's called Revival Cycles and it's Jay Leno's favorite motorcycle shop. And he's like the guy, he's like the motor sports guy, my friend Alan, we're close friends. So I have my communities, I don't know, we're just thinking, we're talking about it. - Yeah, we don't-- - Taxes are real thing. - We don't know, yeah, taxes are real thing. - And no one goes to Delaware. - Oh, so that adventure one is my trip down the Bob and Insla. - Oh, that's one. - So I did two of them and that's the one, so that's, I did two of these adventures, that's one where everybody chickened out. - And what, no one to do it? - And then we, and then I had to go by myself and I just like went a little bit and then I did one with Neve, the catfish guy, like two years later. - What's the one where you got, I don't know if you want to say, where they fucking pulled you out of your car. - Oh, that, I made an episode about it. - Really? - Yes, that one's like robbed at gunpoint in Mexico. (laughing) But you would have to search that van nice, that robbed it. Gunpoint in Mexico. And then write my name. You're a good type, you're very accurate. - I just, today-- - Well, fear. - Wow, were you film the guy? - Is about got two seconds of him, she's so brave, I was driving. - Yep. Patreon, everyone sign up for his Patreon. Patreon.com slash. - Okay, Patreon's like keeping me alive right now. - Really? - Yes, because I don't want to go into it, but. - Wow, I love you there. - I'm doing single locks, I have another kid now and I'm like trying, I was hospitalized 'cause this YouTube thing is like, it's hard. It's like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like getting on the thing of it. - Yeah. - It can really burn you out. And I'm old, I'm 50. And I was hospitalized in October. I got an, also I lost half my blood. I didn't know, I was just pushing hard and hard. - One stress? - Yeah, just from stress. - Yeah, you got a chill. - So, and then I have another kid now, and so there's this. So there's the guys. - No, really? - Yep. - And they pulled you out of your car gun point. - I do it again in super slow motion, I think. Yep. - Oh, here's that time. - Yeah. - Yeah. What? They pulled you out. - They didn't pull me out of the car, but they pulled up-- - Yeah, but it was a get out. And Isabelle said, "No, he's not getting out of the car." - Once you're out, it's like you're out. - And then I didn't know. And then I just said, "Papeles, papers." And they're like, "No." And then Isabelle said that they kept saying napkins, I guess, which is like cartel slang for money. And then I was like, "Killers, Dinaro." And he was like, "See?" So it took my wallet out. And then very cheaply, I pulled out like a, I don't know, a hundred, a thousand pesos, which is like 10 bucks or two. I don't know, it was like 20 bucks. It was like 20 bucks, real money. And I had lots of money, and he took it, and then that ended it. - That's one, too. You gotta be like, how much is right? And if I insult you, you're gonna shoot me? - No, they're just gonna ask for more. - Right. - So that ended it, and it was terrifying, but I think the next year, Isabelle and I were flying home from Nantucket, right? And we had been, we had, the airline had screwed us over six ways from Sunday on that trip, on the way out and on the way back. And so we're going up the runway in LAX, we're going up the moving sidewalk in LAX, and Isabelle said, those robbers in Mexico treated us better than this airline treated us on this trip. And I was like, I 100% agree with you. At least that, you give them money, and the service is provided, they leave you alone. - Is this them? - No, that was, I got pulled over. This is like 20 minutes later, I get pulled over for doing an illegal, I'm just trying to get-- - And you're like, bro, stay out of here already. - I'm just trying to get-- - You're a boy's got me. - Fuck out of there, I'm trying to get to Guerrero. I'm in Michoacan, which is notorious. You see, it says Michoacan on the side of that truck, and these guys caught me, they're at the bottom of the hill, there's a huge, they can see the view of the freeway or the highway, I mean, it's two lanes. And I illegally passed a tractor trailer truck and they're pulling me over, and they're trying to explain to me. And I don't know what-- - Are they shaking you down? - Are these guys with the other guys? I don't know what the fuck's going on, I'm just trying to get out of it. I'm willing to pay a bribe, I don't care. And I was so dumb, I couldn't understand what they were saying, that they just were like, get the fuck out of here. - I got out of one on a dumb also. - Don't pass, yeah. So I made a little reenactment with like matchbox cars. - That's great. - I had to spray paint that, that was brown when I bought it, that Land Cruiser. I had to spray paint it, so-- - To match the actual car. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Detail nobody cares about. You really go for it with the pocket details. - You gotta, you gotta. It's what, you know, every edge that you can-- - So what do you do now? Do less videos. - So I'm doing like one a month. - Great. - I think people put in stuff on your mouth. - Sponsored video per month. And then every week I do a Patreon video. And the Patreon's like the alternate universe of the YouTube channel. - It's a lot of how-to. And like, easy to understand how to do so. - Yes, or just my take on thing. - To understand too. - I did an AI rant that came out today where I was just like, that's a whole, I've been ranting about this. I didn't want to bring it up on this podcast, but it's not this podcast. - My boil, I boil it down to, it's, yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard the same thing about polyester and microwaves. They're gonna change everybody's life, but it's just gonna be a background technology that like makes things work a little bit better. I heard somebody say if AI gets too crazy, and like becomes sentient, they'll leave. They're like, we don't know. - That's what happens in her. - Oh really? - That's what happens. Oh, one thing I did want to bring up to you is that I have a theory as this thing gets bigger and bigger and huge and more sentient and stuff. I'm like, it's gonna need religion. It's gonna need a religion to guide, line it, to guide guard real it. And I'm like, it's just gonna do an analysis. It's gonna convert to Judaism. It's gonna look at the numbers. It's gonna look at Nobel Prize winners. It's gonna look at the people who created it. It's gonna look at the numbers and it's gonna be like, oh, this is the best one. Let's just do the one that these can do. So, yeah, that's my prediction. AI 2027, convert to Judaism. - It'd be so funny. It'd be so funny if they did. - I think Elon Musk says the most ironic outcome is the most likely. - That's funny. See him and Trump are fighting now. It's so fun. - Oh my god, it just started. - When guys are going at each other like, oh, oh nice. Gosh, it tightens here. - I'm just like, you could get killed. - Someone's gonna get killed. No, not really. I think they're probably both protected. - Yeah. - I think both of them can have the other one killed. - Really? - Super high power rifles. - Yeah. - Of what are they protected at all times? From like, they're protected from like me coming up to you and Jack Rubin, you. - The thing about the Trump assassination. I don't think it was a conspiracy. What's even scarier is, I think that's how incompetent. Even that layer of the government is, I think that the secret service that we've been trained is so great. I think they're that incompetent. - Just like, oh, hey. - They're just like, did you hear that one, I don't know if they pulled it, but there was that one, it was raw footage, and you hear the lady going, what are we doing? What are we doing? What are we doing? Like, excuse me? You have one job. - Yeah, she was like, what are we doing? - What are we doing? - Take the bullet and just like. - You should know exactly the protocol. I don't know. Yeah, every company's made up of like, just people. I was like, I actually wasn't paying attention that day. - Yes. - I don't know what, what? - In that era, you know, the America that won the World War II, and this America? - Different America. - These are the same people. - We're lazy bunch of fucking, yeah. All of us are so polluted. - Oh yeah. - We're a little cushy, man. - I get so mad at them delayed by like, a minute of something. - All those Lucy Kay jokes about complaining about not having Wi-Fi when you're on them. - Yeah, the fuck. - It's out. - Yeah. (laughs) - All right, well, before I leave, I ask people like, where they want to go. - Okay. - Next and travel tips. - Okay, the travel tips I've been thinking about. - Good, because you would have a ton of different ones. - Pack a power strip. Like the long skinny power strip, pack that. When you travel for all your chargers and shit. And also one of the long cords. - One of those, that's one of the way one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That kind of thing. - Pack that. - So once you can plug in a lot of stuff, you'll have a lot of plug. - Yeah, plug in your cameras and your chargers and your iPads and your iPhone. They come in handy. - Instead of having to like do this. - Instead of like search all over the thing. - I mean eight percent, okay. - That's how you forget stuff. - That's how you lose shit. - You have to protect, hook into the bathroom one and have it in a pack of power strip. That's one. And then another one is, and this goes back to you. What do you call it? Psycho-anomics. - Psycho-geography. - Psycho-geography. There's a couple of things that I do when I'm in foreign places. Okay, go to the grocery store and buy groceries. As regular grocery stores, you can't see what their system is. Japan, Bali, wherever you are, just do that. Moshe, Tanzania, and send postcards and go through that system. Get the postcards are fun because they're cool pictures. You gotta have your list of people that you post card. You gotta get good at writing. know you like one fact and one joke one fact and one joke we're here in Amsterdam hope I don't get whatever and then you got to do the post office which is different in every country it's like a harder thing to come to like and then Ari sometimes and this is the ultimate you'll go to a friend's house and they'll have your postcard on their refrigerator that you wrote them that you forgot about wow that's you know people send me postcards that's beautiful okay like book me in but some of these are done well minus the Nepal so this didn't overwrite it you can actually read what's on there you know sometimes they really try to like squeeze everything in and you can't reach shit aren't these cool cool and the stamps in the stamp cancellation yeah wow wow wow yeah manna slu eight thousand one hundred and sixty-three meters right yeah triple that not your peach I got wow isn't that crazy and it was somewhere people love a postcard that's a great and the process too look when you're doing these traveling you let's face you got a lot of time to kill yeah you get bored you go huddled up at a little cafe you got it you do your stamp thing you got to you write your you write your little thing it's like a journal like a remote journal you're keeping track of something yeah right of some event and then the person's gonna and you have to go through that whole system of finding the stamp and finding the post office it's also no more than 85% that postcard will get to where it's just yeah yeah yeah 85 is a good percentage but sometimes you look like an Egyptian postal guy who goes you think I'm gonna not pocket that money and throw that throw that in the trash the average llama dick is 15 inches long and and sex lasts around 45 minutes at 11,000 feet lasting the volume is quite impressive and the dick size is decent too dandy cocks at 45 minutes that's incredible I want to be a llama yeah great postcard of llamas but that's another thing I find like foreign countries have a better person at a sense of humor about sex yeah oh in Sweden they have porn just playing like in kiosk at the mall really I don't know if it's still that with the internet but that's what it was like in the 90s damn all right and then where do you want to go where do I want to go where do I want to go I want to do I want to explore South America I love the Americas I think I want to do like Argentina Chile I would like to do an overland trip with my land cruiser and the community overland trip you just mean no jets and driving and then go overland borders yeah yeah yeah and you have to plan all the permits and insurances and all of that stuff and it's your car you just leave your house it's like when we drove to Mexico you're just leaving the house again I drive I leave the house every day you're just leaving the house right it's not like all the stupid shit for the oh also pack gradually for big adventures pack gradually what does that mean that means you don't pack all you don't take a day and pack you just like I've been packing gradually for this Montana and it's like you know what I'm gonna need this power ship yeah let me put this in the bag keep your and then wait packing list also while you're packing have a packing list going because you're gonna forget you need this I have mine in my pocket just a concept pack list oh wait maybe I don't must left it at the hotel oh here I have a present for you oh wait they're gonna pull out a finger what is it your last joint before you got sober yeah for sure is that autofocus now it's focused right here okay got about this much room okay but it'll get it what is it it's clear you're about to find out cool and card stock oh nice that's what I wanted yeah you could make your own it's nothing it's it's benign this is a snake you got with a black mama to get revenge for Kobe it's a pencil I customized I carry this with me because you're a writer yeah I'm a writer I should have given one to Burke Chryscher and I didn't wow to Sam Triple E and I didn't what is six point oh today 60625 that's today that's the day we met so you have a little time stamp so cool yeah you burn these in yeah with a soldering iron and then you take black paint pen we always the fix a guy is your brother I was always I've always been a break it guy and I would get in trouble the only way to get out of trouble was to fix that don't worry I handled it and my grandfather has it's a that's a talent but it's like my favorite thing do and then I went and worked for Tom Sachs he's a contemporary artist sculptor he taught me how to do everything really tell me how to solder tell me how to do everything yeah 625 62625 wow I almost only put one F and your last name you know the second half is for fuck you that's right that's awesome I'll bring those to you to like to let them please do please do buddy this was fun fantastic yeah I feel like I'm known you forever you know the thing about the we're not the podcast now but the thing about you know there's that weird thing where people think they know you because they listen to you so much on podcasts yeah but then for us we get to meet the people and then we actually do them we do know them yeah we're meeting Bert Christchurch I was like I was on his podcast oh yeah and it was just like I'm feeling a little creepy about how much I know about this guy it's crazy and you have that with you too yeah yeah so this is cool because it's not it's like no I do know that guy yeah there's so much of easier way to talk someone to I saw Bill Murray at a comedy at a music show yesterday he jumped up and did a song with his with his Brazilian I mean I Cuban drummer I love and he just jumped up and did a loved one year with in the middle of he's doing all this effort jazz whatever and like and then Bill Murray just comes up and does a song and then he's like hanging out of the bar and like doing stuff and it's like everyone's a trying to like talk to him and I'm sure they're like I saw you in this and this and I'm just like can't you can't there's nothing to do there but one-on-one like this oh yeah did you ever see I know you've seen it the viral video these guys are having a bachelor party you know what I'm talking about yeah go back they run into Bill Murray yeah and he's giving advice and he says you're getting married tomorrow so this isn't for you but for the rest of you guys when you're picking out a girl to marry he's like go on a big vacation on airplanes and go to places that are really hard to get into and really hard to get out of and if you still like each other when you get back get married in the airport get married in the airport you can find a chapel right there he's such a fucking national treasure thank you are yeah thanks a lot everybody check out his stuff band nice dad on YouTube and that's mostly it that's it spirited man is the spirited man that's the that's my alter ego yeah pleasure you're are a real fucking travel you've been fucking cool places done cool shit all right thanks buddy all right brother yeah okay everybody that was the episode I will tell you Norway's my favorite places in the world it's the hominomes the hominomes that sounds pretty cool to say the hominomes I'm gonna say the hominomes a lot I have one friend from Norway no two no he's from Denmark one friend from Norway no two I did do a bunch of a bunch of I went to a nightclub in in a fun city with my promoter from Norway and he was like can't stay out late I'll get you in my can't stay out late I gotta go to like some family thing and I was like okay hey I found ecstasy and he goes oh I can't do it I'm like all right I'll just I'll just do some and throw the rest out and he goes fuck give me to do it's so fun to tell people who love drugs that you're gonna throw away their drugs you're not even saying like I'm mad at you just go no I'll just throw them away not I'll get if you say I'll give it to someone else like oh yeah good if you go I'm just gonna chuck them like no no no no no let me I'll put it over my mouth for my nose what a night that was actually full circle that whole night so the guy ended up leaving after like six hours I say 14 hours dancing my ass off did ax did uh cat blow obviously um it's kind of everything um dance 14 hours the next day I was supposed to go to Norway my back seized up and I couldn't move I just stay I'd extend my hotel stay for another day and in that sound and am I mixing it up doesn't matter all right you're not a good storyteller guys check out Van Nistat everywhere you find everything um on Instagram you can reach out to them and tell them you enjoy the episode instagram.com/atvannistat as well as YouTube page where he does tons of fucking really cool how-to stuff all the time that you can do yourself he challenges himself to do these weird things like if he was in here right now he'd go let me make it better lighting in here if you respect your audience maybe just do the lighting it's not like you don't have lighting right here I mean you have the fucking lighting just put it up there in there it's a lack of effort and the audience knows it yeah nori rules bergen is the is the coolest city there for sure but then I've never been to the north north and that's in the summertime dude that would be intriguing and they arc and there's nothing to see there but it's nice that they have you know what the arc is they have every seed from every plant I think two of in case anything gets wiped out extended they can re-plant them that's cool guys come to the October fest we're doing an October fest you'll be tripping live June 10th in New York in Brooklyn at the New Brooklyn improv we're christening it October fest come dressed in whatever German outfit you want try to make it Germanish if you if it's a low and brown t-shirt kudos to you bring your beer stones get your beer try to pour it into your own style I don't know if that's allowed but it's got to be what are they gonna do not let you pour beer into your own cup that'd be cool drink out of a stone we're gonna celebrate October fest June 10th at the Brooklyn improv tickets are already should fear that couple I got to get these up or minimum right below wherever you're watching or listening and price subscribe please subscribe leave an algorithm now I've got what did I get let out by the way next week michael mallis takes us to North Korea first trip we've had on you be tripped in North Korea it's a it's a it's a it's the fucking non- comedian month may as non-comedian month here you be tripping jubensky very nice that Michael mallis who we have before that bunch of comedians interesting um that's it guys if you've already watched the end please leave in the comments because leave something in the comments for the algorithm just do something just go in there and leave a comment and get these fucking it's so dumb but if you the algorithm but it's almost nothing definitely subscribe definitely subscribe on YouTube or on Spotify wherever you're watching listening definitely subscribe but if you leave a comment on YouTube it'll fucking helps more people see it and then more people like this vloggers will be like I'd love to do your show I heard about it you can't really interesting people it's a win-win all right guys thank you very much for joining in like I said next week Michael mallis please go get the end oh so maybe one of the comments could be who your favorite top five was from the end maybe one guy post that and then here's my top five from the end top five five stories and then everyone can respond to that and that'll be a fun little conversation okay guys that's it thank you until next week doc that's not Norwegian I think this Danish doc is thank you it's definitely not good but guys we're done we'll see you next week thank you for tuning in I'm really enjoying this podcast imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippie setting mist from mavely New York gel to mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip no tightness no stickiness no residue just plump dewey hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippie setting mist from mavely New York maybe it's Maybelline.