140: Normalize Diarrhea with Ari Shaffir | Soder Podcast | EP 137

july 16th through the 18th i'm going to be at new york comedy club in stamford and then montreal just for laughs i'm going to be there july 25th at club soda doing an hour so it's going to be you know mostly the netflix hour if you didn't hear it i didn't go to montreal on the tour plus some new jokes but then after that it's all me working on new stuff so i will see you in albany july 31st and first at the albany funny bone just go to dance order.com what am i doing just go to dance order.com after albany go to dance order.com it's all there we all put it up but i'm on the road working on a new hour so come check it out i hope you like it there's gonna be some real humbingers on there it's gonna be some real shitty ones too so just come see it come watch it get birthed watch me push them out on the road but thank you for watching the podcast now we can hit record and get the real shit talking going ted saran and i was like i was like hey buddy i'm like and afterwards i you know i felt like a fool i'm like i should have said like hey we've never officially met i'm ari i like the way you stood up for chapelle thanks for whatever but nice to meet you what was instead of pretending this is a question that obviously i can't ask lewis because he'll just go like this of skanks oh my god him dancing when the rock came out we're having a good time everyone how were you drunk uh we were having a good time yeah that's awesome was that was it we were having a good time so when shane made the joke about why'd you put the rich people up front yeah all the animals are on the side and you heard the crowd going a good idea to get them involved it was great yeah did you feel like the rich people were fucking shit up could you feel that in the jokes it was early on and it was right away it was right away it was opening monologue and and uh and who was on stage oh fucking so you came in late no no no there was a warm-up everybody go in oh really yeah and they put um alonzo boden alonzo boden on stage i saw uh and people were walking and talking he's yapping he was saying stuff about uh george wallace and he was just george george i'm talking to you and he's like uh just don't i even know i had to go over like that like no one's paying attention it was like and this is in the pit right in front of the day it was a check drop spot to warm up it was so dumb just have a band going and then over the house lights once everybody's in and oh we're ready to start it was it was in it was they set him up the only other one i saw was before the strokes they put seaton in the dark on a shitty mic and said go before the strokes yeah in between bands it was so i was so rough yeah that is a that is a gig where i was really wondering because i thought when you saw the countdown on netflix it was going to go to like a red carpet and like someone was hosting and hey the event's about to start and now we're going to go in live to the but they were just went like here's shane gillis and then he just came out and did the joke there's so much that me as a producer would do different on everything oh my god number one on any shoot and i look at where the cameras are i just start i don't have a really good point time because i immediately was like did you go you didn't go no i was out of there as fast as i possibly big j wasn't on it then i don't know if uh i don't know if i would have gone yeah dude and by the way um big j fucking murdered i think j murdered he loved big j that's what i told him yeah i was only nervous that the crowd would would not uh would be upset about how ugly he is but but they seem to not care they seem that shane said he did look like he ran a reno strip club with the red in the hair but when he um where he was in the lineup i stopped being worried when i saw if it wasn't no we got it together because they sent me the lineup we're like where am i oh dude and you're also you're following a non-comic yeah it was perfect i think everyone followed a non-comic yeah and that was that was the note i would say that was a good note but something that i said that katie had a good point on when i was like haven't they learned from comedy central to edit these so it's just like an hour of killer shit and then katie was like i guarantee with all the famous people they get they can't do a taped because everyone the next day would be butthurt and be like hey you can't do that joke about me hey you can't do that joke about me like it would get heavily oh heavily edited well they would have to go they're already cutting jokes now if they watch it oh they did that weren't the live version and then and then a better version later yeah i think kevin hart went on two and a half hours into the show he should be on an hour 40 exactly and also the rock did like 30 when he should we just find out the rocks a black comic yeah rapid charade holy shit charade yeah dude he was he was dabbing himself he's like ladies looking lovely here tonight he hit him with that he hit him with the ladies look lovely here did you see anybody at the roast that didn't want to see you like did you see any like people that you're like you don't fucking like great question interview dan interviewer dan has a great question i do i was i think that's a great question um there's one i thought i saw on the way out that i realized like oh shit i didn't i didn't i didn't vet who was at my table it could have been anybody that one that uh we we both were in the green room a long time ago yeah we're like oh um yeah and i think i saw back and i was like oh my god thank god i didn't have to sit at a table yeah did you did my table rule who was your table me and lewis great by the way lewis with how upset lewis was for getting guest of ari shafir because i told them his name so much and i was like did you see that he goes he was so mad he was waiting for the j too final lewis he was waiting for that it goes it's j they put the j in they're like well it doesn't matter let's put it in anyway then no this is just for the cameras know who they're shooting like so put it in yeah so put it the j because they know it's me doggy um sat down papa was there with his wife and he was like great who i've met his wife too love tom papa god that guy rules he's the best didn't bring bread that sucks but what did he judge the bread they gave you did they give you food there so i asked beforehand because i'm like i'm gonna get lit so we had to take these pictures the red carpet so uncomfortable it's great lewis grabbing your dick what a skanks picture i loved it i absolutely loved it to everybody it was also so funny that they were like we come in but it's like one two three four the step and repeat chelsea is over there they go oh no and they're going a long lens i'm like no no guys i'm here it's supposed to take my picture now like yeah yeah we're gonna long lens this winner right damn yeah so they skipped you for and they're like guys and they go oh for far away chelsea handler yeah oh we'll take one shot yeah but yeah you got the dick i mean lewis got the dick grab and did he take the gloves off we held him on you held him on you both had him on and then and then derosa came he goes i can't go alone i couldn't either yeah so i understand i'll go with you i took those off because it was just a rose okay although he was a temporary candidate for he was until you usurped him with who betrayed the betrayed when shane moved in all under my funding yeah there were people that and then um eric andre was there oh i saw him at your table he ruled yeah that was a fun i bet that was a fun yeah i've been i've found like a couple times in the last week and it was like oh yeah i forgot that guy's just a comic some of these guys are going to become massive stars and then change slightly well we eric is like oh yeah i forgot that guy's just a comic some of these guys are like oh yeah you're the same dude as as jfl when we were both trying to get on stuff what would i learn from him uh doing this podcast he's he's like literally punk rock he is he's like punk rock he's very punk rock like he wants to fucking burn it down at all times every time it's great that was a show yeah when he was on here he wanted to burn it down and then we were like dude i live here also stop yeah i was just kind of like there was a moment where i was like all right dude fucking chill out and then he was like like he completely went like that like he like like you got it once you get him so that's a fun so derosa eric andre derosa was there i just saw him before and he goes i can't do this red carpet thing alone please because we're so on you're you'd be the same way i hate it this is not i refuse to do billions red carpets because everyone else knows how to hold their their arms and where they go like this give us another pose i just went through and went that's why if you see my red carpet picture from i think it's season two or three of billions i go like this that was the only smile i get out of it that's where louis comes in handy oh he doesn't give a fuck at all so that he's straight dick grab yeah and they're like louis will be like this he'll pro wrestle the red carpet it's great spit water and be like what are you guys gonna fucking do he's a theater kid he doesn't see any moments he just goes i'm doing my thing always yeah he's he's a tornado if he comes in and fucking crashes your shit uh we were dancing to the roots no our table was having a blast did you see tables that weren't i'll tell you there was mo and an earthquake sure like up and right there sure an earthquake was standing up going for it every time earthquake is having a good time so is mo because earthquake also earthquake is in the audience more than that when you have a crowd if you have three fat black ladies in front having a good time everyone's having a good time and earthquake did that to that bottom section great he's the he was having a fun time blast also yo that was a great one and everyone's like i guess we'll stand up and also at rock shows the the white ladies that dance yeah same thing because they get other people to go like oh we're all dancing this is moving you need people moving and grooving in the front section yeah but it felt like there were a lot of executive when shane said that when he was like all these fucking rich people up front it's it's it it is it's like yeah so i heard something that um billy joel did when he was on tour with um uh the gay i've heard this story yeah where he was like no no go get the so they they don't sell the first two rows yeah and they're like we we need the first two rows to be lively sure so go get the back row choose people bring them up yes let the and then now it's like i'm i was already gonna have a good time could you imagine if they would have done that if they would have done that with this roast that's what i said to katie i should have done that why don't they have four rows right of just seats no table or the cameras yeah ahead of the camera so they can't even see it just seats yeah just just it's like almost like a monitor club just a monitor yeah so that they can fucking hear the laughs because that was the worst part is when they do jokes and you're like i don't know if they knew that that was funny because it feels like the audience we could hear very well we could yeah that part was great i mean i don't know man i had a blast so so it was it was me tom eric tom's wife eric's chick me and my chick lewis guest of and then one last seat for our friend our friend molly that's fun and then um oh my god so you're probably hugging people we were having a blast yeah and then was there a moment of uh like being very proud of jay where you realize so much and shane yes we go and tony and pete and you go look at all these guys doing it yeah they're doing it i mean even just seeing jay up there i went shook like slept high five beforehand i could see him like this i was like i was like he was great he was great he's great and uh i was i kept looking at shane shape people we kept looking at jay we're doing these are like yeah the three four life and he would do it like four lives on a camera shame would look out i could see him look at me and i was like so that would be funny what's funny is there were moments where we were watching like during the rock thing we were just like watching shane stare down and we were like but then i knew tommy and chris and all them were at a table they were there too they were so i was here they were like there that's what we were wondering we were wondering if you if they were in shane's eyeline because he would do something he was looking out shane was so smooth and having a good time that when he started riffing at the end cheryl was the only one that really riffed you could see the monitor if you looked and she was like talking she's like yeah i'm gonna do my own yeah she killed speak from the heart yeah yeah yeah i mean she was eating and came back out and did great having a blast talk and it was like he was so smooth with it that's i would have been sweating and like i couldn't i wouldn't be able to see anybody from the first thing i noticed that he broke which really made me laugh was when tom brady thing and then he came back and he goes well that was fucking great and then he came back and he was like well that was fucking annoying yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like oh he didn't pre-write that he didn't pre-write that he was just a comic he was just feeling it yeah and he's like what is it fucking crazy like his genuine reaction like if you went on stage at at uh the stand and tried a character that didn't go anywhere i would and you wouldn't fault me for going hey dan remember when you thought that would work yes you know that's the whole point of a roast and you go well that fucking sucked exactly and it's a roast yeah uh yeah i thought it was great i thought it was very long but i think like it was a good thing i think it was a good thing i think it was a good thing like in the age of modern celebrities that they're going to edit everything out if they don't like a thing that was said you're like great i would say you should be able to edit but only if what i said didn't work let's take that down a little bit not i don't get any on what other people say to me yeah yeah you should be able to control your own so funny chelsea had these jokes written in about how totally problematic and shane is problematic after change brings her up as she hangs out with epstein that was the best you don't like jews because i was never even accused about like jews yeah i've never seen a better intro on a roast way to cut your legs out flat out yeah fucking fat and i love chelsea it was just a funny it was just a funny way to do it what the fuck are you drinking mate what is that um it looks like he's drinking leaves yeah yeah is it weed it's argentinian is it what is it it's just ground up it's just everywhere from from southern south hold on can i show the camera i don't know if the camera can see this but it's like it looks like fucking yeah i don't know oh here we go mananita it's a decent brand mananita what is it like a coffee no it's tea everyone is south eastern chile to all of argentina uruguay and then southern brazil and then in paraguay they drink it cold fucking animals cold so that's hot water it's it's hot ish it's not boiling and you put it in this and it makes it like a tea yeah you can do this before this last adventure no this adventure is where i get into it this adventure yeah is that the part shitty shitty roads in patagonia or with winds so high that when you pass somebody like i might get taken into them you would pee and spray everywhere if you got out to pee and i needed some energy so i was driving and i was like cut me cut me and this was the stuff you were doing was that easier to find than like uh coffee in argentina and uruguay it's everywhere so everywhere so at every airport if you're an airport they'll have a water fountain and a yerba fountain where okay it's a decent brand today's episode is brought to you by mania nita guys i'd be sick if they you're looking for the great taste of some smoothie yeah my child love is a sponsor of a language i didn't speak and i had no clue it's cultural relevance i just think that's like uh that's always something i've always a little morning what's mania nita maniana maniana i don't maybe it means we'll look it up yeah but that thing about you're like a this is the kind of friend everyone should have that tries crazy shit that maybe you don't want to try but so sometimes occasionally it is some shit you want to try and you go this isn't one of them okay it looks like you're drinking fucking mulch i'm honest enough to tell you like hey i tried it like dad don't do that we're like dude you should sure like guinea pig i'm like o'neill came to visit and i'm like bro it's not a it's not a funny thing to eat it's delicious so i had a teacher in high school that was from peru and she was like we love guinea pig we eat guinea pig all the time it's not like can you believe what we're doing but we were like white kids in colorado and i think it was like high you eat fucking guinea pig and then my friend who was very smart was like oh no it's a delicacy there they like love it yeah you can't even afford it always because it's like graduation shit but also a whole one is like 30 bucks did you try it guinea pig it's earthy oh this it's earthy yeah i'll try it i was like i ain't trying to just suck it all down i like anything it's earthy so it takes some getting used to yeah i i don't i don't i don't hate it i don't hate it i thought i was gonna hate it yeah it is it's very tea it's very like if your bag of tea busted open so some people put sugar in there other people put one mint leaf and buried in there or a little slice of lemon to give some taste what was the shit you were drinking um remember when we were doing sixth and jump and you got drunk and you got drunk with those construction workers and they gave you like a bucket of something do you remember that this was in central america and you were like i think yeah you were like he like showed up first off when we were doing sixth and jump during the pandemic we're all on zoom jay and i are in zoom in new york what a good time but i love them that's what worth it we're oh yeah oh for kofi for anyone who's gone whatever your mom your mom mom and people are gone who got forgotten but those memories are real but i remember you showing up like at first it's ari's apartment and then you guys went to central america in south america and all of a sudden it was just a jungle as your setting while everyone was changing their settled settings to look like jungle let me put some looks in that i might have wanted to read or they're doing a fake one of like look at me i'm in the tropics straight up ari was just on a porch with the jungle behind them and we were like oh that's real dude i had such few joys and one of them was like i'm about to log on let me make this look as ridiculous as possible and you would like walk through coconut with a straw yeah oh what's going on yeah and they're like which by the way uh i think i'm telling you this live on my podcast but jay and i agreed for skank fest this year we're doing six and jump again i should do it too no you don't fucking dickhead we're gonna watch johnny depp's last episode that's great i think we'll do depp's last episode and we should do that when he left the show he left like the final johnny depp episode it's the best thing i was getting for you just do some of this stuff yeah i'm in and then how we did it because we did the movie watch along at netflix as a joke and i tried to explain to him how we did six and jump was perfect with the monitors in front the venue just couldn't do it but we there was a lag between the movie and the monitors at at netflix is a joke so but a million dollars a second not to get the sound right not enough i mean we had a bunch of problems they didn't download it remember how dude before that's why when de rosa said that and you'll hear this by the way we're gonna i think we're gonna release the uh made in manhattan watch along with tim dillon joe de rosa and james mccann on punch up live we did a thing where we were like we'll download it and they're like it's netflix we'll just stream netflix and then in the middle of it it crashed and the wi-fi and you're like dude this is why we told you that was rogan when he did the live thing is dude i watched it live because how was it live i'm like i mean it lagged a bunch you're like dude this is why we told you that was rogan when he did the live thing is dude i watched it kept flipping off yeah the jokes were great but like it kept lagging it was an it was not a pleasurable experience to watch but it was something that we anticipated and we were like hey we should download the movie which we did on sixth and jump yeah and it worked fantastic we could go back we could go forward we were that was when seabock was illiterate we found out what a great time we should have put that out on something yeah dude in the piedmont there is no and by the way punch up dot live is where it is because everyone will sign up i know it's summer but hey you still need jeans i'm a jeans all year round guy i think everybody single person listening knows that no one's going like oh really but you know what jeans are great the perfect jean i'm talking about jeans that feel like sweatpants fit great but look just like awesome denim you can go get perfect jeans i'm telling you how they feel i know they got a little stretch material but where you when you wear them you're not going to get the perfect jeans you're not going to wear it you're like damn dude this fits me perfect it doesn't get too tight doesn't get too baggy i know 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It really honestly like I would get a studio apartment. I rented on like whatever. And that was the first time we saw each other in a long time. And we got to hang out. People forget the good parts of COVID, which was like seeing your friends again. And you realize you missed seeing your friends. He's like, I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out how to get this done. I don't know. Let's put a camera behind the. But it was fun. It was so fun. There's things about humanity that like technology takes away that you're like, no, dude, there was fun about seeing each other again about like, that's what I didn't like about the festival. It didn't have the festival. No hangout except the store was a de facto one. But that was booze. So it's not as pleasurable. But also the store was fun. It was too packed. It was too packed. It was overwhelming. I couldn't have a conversation with somebody without someone else being like. Oh, can I just break in? You're like, yeah, I mean, we saw Norman and he was like, I'm freaking out. I was like, I know it's a lot because that was where my home was. I started there. I know. So I knew Norman. I know. I know crevices. Come with me. By the way, shout out Rose, because she immediately was like, oh, smoke a joint in the back. There's no one back there right now. You guys go back there. And I went back there with like three people. We hung out. Rose was a waitress at first. So she also knows. Rose knows where everything is. She knows the vibe. She was like, get over here. This shit's going on. At one point, she was like, just go around here. Because I was like, I want to smoke a joint with people. And she was like, you're fine. Yeah, it was fun. More and more that I go back, I understand the store in a way that I don't think I did when I was just here in New York. Oh, you probably looked at it as this place. It was our clubhouse. I mean, I think more and more I go back, I see that. Especially because I remember early on when you were still, you were living here, but you'd go back to LA. If I was in LA and you were there, I'd be like, I'll go to the store. Because Ari can show me around. But now, the more I've gone, I've been like, oh, I see where people hang. Kind of how it moves. So Rogan tried to recreate. He was like, where are the hangout spots going to be? Like, where might you all just end up gathering? One is in the store is the back hallway. That's it. And the door guys, my old job was to go to massive celebrities. He goes, guys, I'm so sorry. It's bleeding. You've got to leave the hallway. Was there anyone that you remember being a prick about it? About you being like a door guy and being like, hey, dude, I'm sorry. Because when they do that, a lot of times, you're in the middle of having fun. You're like interrupting having fun. We're like joking around and shit. And people are like, luckily, they were comedian celebrities. And so they would get them like, guys, you're fucking up the show. Do you mind? I got to get you outside. Or in or out, in or out. Well, a couple times where I was the door guy. One time, probably two times. One time, I was working the booth at the comedy store. And at the time, Duncan had left. He was a talent coordinator. So I was the assistant talent coordinator. So if somebody wanted something, it fell to me just for two weeks. What a shitty spot to be in as a comic. Yeah. So you're doing it. You're dealing with people's egos. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, you had to work HR. You had to work HR for two weeks. But not really. It was just Mitzi doing it. We're just writing it down and delivering the message. Sure. There was no like, hook me up. Like, we can't. She's still involved. So anyway, this black homeless guy came through the back door of the main room towards me. And the back door guy points at him. Like, get him out. Some guy in a fucking sweatpants and a sweatshirt. And I was like, fuck, OK. How do I do this? Because I'm 140 pounds. I'm not a good door guy. But I know not to fucking. I'm like, let him get out first. Then close it behind him. It's like trapping a bug. Yeah. You go, well, how are we going to get this bug out of this? If it's going on its own, let him go. Just go. Then shut the window. Shut the window. So he comes out. And I put the thing behind me. And I can help you. And he turns. And it's Chris Rock. It's not some black guy. It's Chris Rock. And he goes, can I go on next? And I mean, I have my fists ready to fucking fight. And I have to do two things. I'm like, one, oh, there's no fight. And two, there's an actual. Super high level comedian asking me for. He needs information. And I was like, oh. Okay. Well, people usually go on in the original room, not the main room. And he goes, yeah, but I looked at the lineup. There's like four comics left in the original room. And this is the last comic in the main room. It's better not to bump anybody, right? And I was like. That's nice to hear. Yeah. That is nice to hear. My first. I had never seen him before. That was the first time he came in. That's crazy. And I was like, yeah. By the way. Did about 55 minutes or so till 155. And he goes. Ah, shit. Well, I know the waitresses get off at two. So I don't want to keep them. Great. So that's it for me. Man, I'll tell you right now. And this goes about any job. This is not just stand up. This is not just entertainment. When people understand what other people do at a job, it makes them such a better fucking coworker where you go, yeah, you're being a dick. Even if you rise up and become a vice president. If you go, well, I know the guy at the parking garage gets off at eight. I don't want to stay past eight because then this parking garage guy has got to wait. It was like when I was a waiter and I was waiting on a table. And it was late. And it was like the dinner. And people would look around and go. Oh, shit. Bring us a check now. We'll get out of here in a second. Oh, yeah. Versus on my birthday one year, I was working a Thursday night. And this couple had a romantic dinner where they were talking to each other about how cute it was they shut down the restaurant. And you go, well, it's not cute. I turned on the lights and my manager got mad at me because he was like, no, you got to keep the lights low. It's like it's two hours past our closing and I've pulled everything from their table. All they have is water glass. In the movie, it's like, it's so cute. We shut it down. And then you're sitting behind the things like, come on. I literally would come back like this. I would come back from smoking a cigarette. And I'd be putting my apron on. Can you move? And I'd look at the bus and I'd go, Francisco, they still there? And he's like, see. And you're like, yeah. I'm like in the kitchen like, I want to go get drunk. I want to go get drunk. It's my birthday, too. So it's like, you know when you're poor and it's your birthday and you work at a job like a waiting, you're like, people are going to buy me drinks. This is the one time a year where I'm going to have a free bar tab. Please let me go. And they're like, I could stare into your eyes. But I like when big comics do that. Ray Romano does that. Ray Romano comes into the cellar and he goes, who's up? And you're like, daddy goes, all right, I'll go up next. And you're like, thanks, Ray. When did you start doing impressions? When did you become a voice guy? I remember one time, Louie, this is before he got in trouble. This is when he was like king shit. I was sitting on the stairs and he came in. And he didn't really talk to lower level comics. But he came in and I was sitting on the stairs. And they're like, well, Dan Soder's next. And he looked at me and he goes, is it cool if I go up and do like 10 or 15? And you go, you could have just done it. Thank you for asking. Absolutely, yes. That's exactly what I said. I go, you could have done that. You didn't need to ask. It's also funny. But also, you do need to ask. It's just so few people have that you're like, you technically don't have to. We understand you don't have to. But you do need to. As a human, you do. Just none of them do. So it becomes surprising. When they come in and they're like, that's why what broke my heart about Chappelle one night. He was there and Michelle Wolfe and I were like getting bumped. And he like knows Michelle. He's like friends with her. And I'm on there. And he was just like, I was upstairs. And someone from the club was like, Dave, are you going to go up? And he goes, I don't really know if I want to. You know what? I'll go up. And now you just bumped. You see that guy like, don't fucking ask him. Yeah, that's exactly. I won't tell you which manager it was. But I went up and I went, what the fuck? Now I don't get to go up. And they were like, oh, you know. And you're like, fucking I get it. I mean, I get it. But also like, but being a good coworker, I think that art is lost. Like the, the, the. like the art of like being empathetic towards a guy you work with. I send all my managers and assistants and agents and assistants. I'll I get high and get ideas. So I'm sending it. But now I go, Oh, let me schedule. Send this for Monday morning. Sure. And not for Friday night, dude, this is when I have the idea, but you don't have to be, or I'll go guys is definitely after the weekend thing. If it's Friday day, I'm like, this is definitely for next week. This is not urgent. Yeah. But my idea is here right now. And I will forget it. That's great. And that's like, there really is like this thing of, you know, my manager lives in LA. So there's mornings where I wake up, it's nine in the morning here. And I'm up and I'm like, Hey, fucking I'm about to type it. I'm like, it's six in the morning there. Schedule. Send it just, yeah. Schedule. Send his fucking giant. The other major time I was, there was a homeless guy that came in like a white homeless guy. And I was like, no, no. And I'm walking down the hallway. But then as I get up there, I noticed he's talking to dice. So I'm like, okay, now he's bugging dice, but also he's got a mink coat on. And I'm like, no. And then, and I'm like, and Eleanor was like, Rick Rubin. I was like, Nope. And I just kept walking by. I just kept walking by. That's crazy that you're like, no, no, no. Oh my God. No, absolutely not. Oh, it's one of the greatest producers of all time. That is the thing about LA that is. Shave your fucking, look like a match, Rick. That is the difference between LA and New York city though. Taking the shul with that look. Is New York city straight up will be a homeless guy. Yeah. It will not be Rick Rubin or Chris Rock. You get a guy, you go, Oh, he's covered in shit. And he's inside. The crazy thing, the crazy thing about being a door guy is the fact that you're a comic that has to be a bouncer. It's the only club I know where they make. It's the best because the, the, the comics respect the door guys. Cause half of them used to be that legitimately wore this same t-shirt. The way you talk about it, the way you, Tony talks about it, the way anybody that came up, I believe was. Yeah. And then if the, if you weren't, your friend was sure. And so, or you saw one go from nobody to a theater comic. And so you're like, well, these guys, yeah, they're comics. This guy might be, uh, one of the door guys at the store came up to me when we were hanging out at the festival. And he, he's like, I do a danger field. And he was like, Hey, Hey. And I was like, Oh, it's not bad. And he tried doing it. I was like, all right, that was enough. And it was back. And then later I'm walking through and he stops me. He goes, I have so much anxiety that I did that for you. And I was like, no, no, that's great. It's fine. There it is. A regular door guy wouldn't have done the second part. Yeah, no, but a comic is like, Oh fuck, what did I do? But I love, cause I, cause they're, they are comics, but they're also new comics, bro. But that's something that I used to feel. I wasn't a door guy in New York. You're not a door guy. Do you just do it? Guys? Yeah. You guys don't have to interact with the comics. That's the whole point. It's like, I would be at the, I'd be at like New York comedy club or the cellar. And I would say something and you'd be like, what? And then I wasn't there to go. I fucked up. I thought, so I just walk around the fucking village being like, I fucked up. I fucked up. There was no time. I'm like the beginning times. Ralphie told me that early on. Chappelle told me, I'm like about a year. And he goes, boo, that's when it's just fun. I didn't get it. Cause I was starving. Sure. But like, that's a big, that's a big fucking. Yeah. I was like today I had to eat legitimately leftover hamburgers from McDonald's that I froze because that your, was that the, your 29 cent cheeseburger, 39 cent hamburger, vice versa Sundays and Wednesdays. So it was like, you'd load up, freeze a bunch of those. Then the rest of the week you could, I was a subway chicken teriyaki on Italian, herbs and cheeses, six inches at dinner. Uh, the next day, six inches for lunch, split my bag of potato chips and I'd get a bag of potato and I'd get a large drink that I could drink half and have other, it was all about halves. And then a staff meal at the restaurant. I got to get you a Yamaka. Oh dude, I learned it. I thank you. Yeah. I didn't realize you've actually put in your time. I really fucking, that means a lot. Yeah. And it does mean a lot. As someone that grew up watching Mel Brooks movies and had his alcoholic father using Yiddish, I'm a clump. I'm a little, I'm a little of a clump. And honestly, it's proper usage. Yeah. What's funny is I didn't realize cause Colorado, I knew one Jewish, I knew two Jewish kids. Yeah. And then I moved to New York and I would say stuff and they'd be like, you're using Yiddish. And you're like, Oh fuck. I didn't even realize I was a, I was a, a Jigga. What do you call a white kid? White kid that wants to be, I was a, what do you want to ask me about my trip? I know you were about to, Oh, you're just, you're just the guy that I go like, what did you eat? Oh yeah. Cause, cause I was like, could you imagine big J and I on a trip like yours being like, I don't want to eat that. I was in Ecuador and I heard for the first time, six months there for the first time I heard an American accent. And what's that like? Okay. First it was like, Oh, you were gone for what? Seven months, six months. That one, just in Ecuador car driving around bandit. And then, um, I heard an accent, but then I was like, wait, that's not American accent. That is rural Philadelphia accent. Yay. Oh yeah. You heard that? The first accent I heard. And they were at the, you can get one of those gazebo things at the beach for five bucks for the day. Rent a surfboard for $3 or, or, or five or six for two hours. It was like, Oh my God, it was the best. And I, and then eventually I'm like, Hey, what do you guys? Yay. And they were like, once we started talking, they're like, Oh, there's a chicken piccata over there. It's so good. That's so, and I was like, I'm not eating a chicken piccata in Ecuador. There's actually good food here. They go, yeah, we actually talked them into doing it. Two of them ran a DQ in Wildwood. Yeah. You ever, yeah. Those guys rolled so much. You ever had a guinea pig and a guinea pig hoagie. Don't put that on. Don't make a hoagie at a guinea pig. I met one of them again. Once at a show recently that came and I was like, they were like, there's some people saying they met you in Ecuador. I'm like, Oh, bring those guys. That's awesome. Yeah. That's fun. That's funny shit to see you in your, you're like Tarzan back in society. Two weeks. It was good. When you meet someone from traveling afterwards, it just becomes a, like, like the people from lost when they met in real life after. I'm like, we got to go back. Yeah. We got to get back to the island. It's like summer camp friends. When you had summer camp friends when you were young and then you'd see him back home in reality and go, well, I got my regular friends. There is shit that you and Jay would eat and, and, and list and stuff like that. But I would tell you like, you can try this one or this one's too spicy. Don't this one is, is what, cause I'll try everything. That's the cooking show. Try food. The food is amazing. Peru has the best food in South America. That's the cooking show trip to South America with me, list and Jay. Yeah. And you are our Bobby Flay. And it's like, all right, tell me what you can and can't do. Yeah. And if it's like, I really do not want to risk stomach flu. And I'm like, I'm going to cross half these off the list then. And if you're like, I don't like spicy. I'm like, great. We'll stay in Uruguay. What happened? Two questions. What happens when it goes sideways? Like what happens when it's too spicy? Did you eat something where you're like, I'm not, my dad was, my dad raised me on spice. Oh, he did. Yeah. I'm the guy who goes to Thai and they're like Thai spice. Like, I don't know. I'm like, I know, I know. Just get it. Really? So you've been a spicy guy your whole life. I would have to get my Asian roommate at Maryland to ask for extra spicy on the phone because they wouldn't believe my accent. So I'm like, you need to ask for it. Extra spicy. Do you find it that it's so hot? It's enjoyable. Yeah. That you're that kind of guy. Yeah. My mom's boyfriend was like that. What was that? He was like, I want it like the, whatever, what the scale is. Where pleasure meets pain. Yes. What is that? Hellraiser. Yeah. But like the, the scale of the Scoville Scovilles or whatever, Roy Scovilles. Yeah. And, and you can improv how hot it is and you enjoy it the whole time. I don't know how hot it is. But he was like, there used to be this like hot sauce store in Boulder and we would like go up to Boulder. My mom's boyfriend would be like proud of being like, what's the hottest one you got? And it'd be like a Carolina Reaper pepper, Reaper pepper. And he'd be like, yeah, that's spicy. But he wouldn't freak out. I won't do that with the Reaper. I was a bitch with spice, dude. My dad'll do that. He made this own, you know, like not the Sriracha, but the other brand where it's got all the seeds in it and stuff. Sure. It's like red and thick. So he made that, his own and he'd have to ferment it and let it go. I remember him. And it was me for me. Even then it would take, let's say salami sandwich on rye. And I would take a, like a little bit, spread it very thin all over, like one spoonful all the way. And I'd still be like, Oh, and put ketchup on top of it. Like, Oh my God, it'd be fucking you up. My dad to test it would take a spoon, go, go. Oh yeah, that's good. Whoa. But it's like, no, it's spicy. Did your siblings have a similar love? Was there any sibling that didn't like spice? My brother's kid loves it. Real, but your brother didn't. My brother likes it. Okay. But your brother's kids like you, he's like an animal. He's like, I want fucking, and I'm not trying to punish myself. I like the taste. I guess my question is, is someone that is a bitch about it? Like I, I have children. I have like, I'll, I'll put sriracha on stuff and it's, it's, I find it enjoyable, but that's me older. When I was younger, I hated spice. I was like, this is too spicy. I need mild. I was a bitch. And as I got older, I was like, I feel the same way about chlamydia. I don't want those. I know you go, she's got to get used to it. And he goes, Oh, it makes you really makes you get a whole pump. It really gives you the dick hole heat you're looking for. But like, um, with the spice thing, has there ever been something that's too much for you when you travel? Thai, Thai spicy in Thailand, but down there. And did you have to request it? Did you have to go like pick the fight and be like, give me your spicy shit. Or were they like, they just gave it to you and you're like, Oh, they just gave it to you. They'll warn you once in a while. If you're in a semi tourist area and they see you being white, like, Oh, we've gotten complaints before from your type. That's so great. I just said that. I'm still fine. That's always like the white thing is, is do you just know, like if they know white, they go, they're going to fucking complain about the spice. Whereas I know if there's no tourists, they don't know to, to warn them. Cause they just go, this is where you get, it's like the amount of ranch you get in Nebraska where you just go like, I bet they see like, uh, other people and they go like Europeans. They go, you don't want this much ranch or the fat stuff in Chicago. I was eating a salad. Me and Rogan is salad somewhere in Chicago. And we're like, so I'm like, well, hold on. I'm like, excuse me, ma'am, did you, did you put sugar on this? And she goes, is it too much for you? I'm like, it was such a like, yeah, of course. Was crazy. Did I, did I go ham? Crazy. Did I go too much? When I, none on a salad. When I quit sugar and, drinks yeah when i like had to make that effort to get it out of my coffee and get it out of my iced tea once i had southern sweet tea again i was like what the fuck that's like thai spice but for sugar you're like dude this is fucking crazy this is just sugar and they're like sweet tea and you're like i don't like this i'm getting diabetes right yeah but it does rule if you can like it like i can like really sweet very hot i'm still a bitch you know what people don't talk about in the summer because it's all hot is bedding. It's only a winter talk. Everyone's like, oh, I got good bedding in the winter. No, dude, you need to sleep good in the summer too. A nice, cool, crisp sheet when you hit the bed. Oh, then you get some good summer sleep, especially if you're like out all day in the sun and you're worn out. Get that nice, crisp sheet. Grab some good, good sleep. Try Brooklyn Bedding. 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I know those of you who have been listening for a while, even back when I was on the bonfire, you know I got LASIK, so you know I got these laser eyes, but they wear off. And honestly, when I come back to my glasses days, I'm going right back to Warby Parker. It's who I used when I had glasses, and it's who I'll use when I return to glasses. Warby Parker, one-stop shop. You go in, you can get an appointment with an optometrist in the back to take a look at your eyes to see how good your vision is doing. They'll do the appointment right in-house, and then they have your prescription. You can go, pick glasses out in the front, so then you have glasses you love with the prescription you need. Bam. It's all right there. And when it comes to quality for the price, Warby Parker's the best. Not even close. It used to have to be, oh, I'm going to spend a bunch of money on these glasses. I hope they stay forever. Warby Parker, you get two pairs of glasses. If you're irresponsible like me and you lose them all the time. Warby Parker completely changed that. The prescription glasses start at just $95, so you actually get quality and stylish frames at an affordable price. All in one place, like I said before, which makes everything so much easier. And it also includes contacts, online eye exams, and sunglasses. Maybe the best part of Warby Parker, for every pair they sell, they also give one to someone in need. Warby Parker has distributed over 20 million pairs of glasses to people in need through its Buy a Pair, Give a Pair program. Right now, buy one pair of glasses at any additional pair at warbyparker.com slash soda. That's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase at warbyparker.com slash soda. Second thing, when you get food poisoning on the road like that, you have to. And you do, and you will. And you go into it knowing that you will. Is that the way you accept it when you travel? I've gotten enough times by now. There's just no avoiding it. What's your fix? O'Neal's chick was like, got it. And we all ate the same stuff and shared with each other. Like, what's your fix? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't It might be a bounce of something in a shower, like a bounce off a shoulder. You always think you know what it is, and then it could be anything. Yeah, dude. It's literally a drop of water. So you can wash stuff in the sink. You just have to dry it completely off before you have it. So if a plate comes wet, you got to like, no. And just like, I'd rather be, Bobby Kelly said it the best. It's safer. It's more dangerous there to brush your teeth with the sink water than it is here to brush your teeth with toilet water. Really? As long as it's flushed. It's fucking it's just gross. You don't even think about that. And you go like, yeah, I'm still in the mode of like, sink water, brush teeth. We got a great here. Shoveling it in. But like, when you have when you're like going in knowing you have I saw Fast and Furious five when I was there in Rio. Yeah. And there's a scene where she's like in the favela. And they're on the they're hiding away. And she goes like this with water that she drank some. I'm like, nope, rest of the movie is her shitting. The movie is her shitting now. She drank that water. She's on the other side of a like, Dom, you gotta get out of here. They're gonna get me. But do you have like, no, there's there's a tri pack. That's what I've taken immediately. I know my technique is good. That's what I mean. Like, don't wait. You can't hold it down. You're fucked. You know, when they show assassins assemble a rifle in ways. I just assume you do that with diarrhea when you're traveling where it's like, and you put something together and you're like, take this. Now go over there. There's this there's a small difference in feeling between food poisoning and just diarrhea make the decision right away. Which one is this? Cause it's gonna get worse. But right now it's about the same. It's like this. And then, you know, it's gonna go there. Cause if it's gonna be the diarrhea shitting and pooping, you're not gonna be able to keep the pill down. You gotta keep it down for two hours. And if you have a sip of water, it will make you barf. Then you can't get the pill down. So what's your advice? Pre do it. If you think it, it, it might be, or probably is get that pill down. Now started working. It's one a day for three days. You're still gonna suffer, but start the process. What, what pill? Imodium AD? Is that such white guy stuff? No, that ain't gonna do shit, bro. That's like me going like, I like Tabasco. When we're talking about spice. Imodium AD is a pocket Palestinian throw a rock at an IDF troop and think it'll make a difference. Imodium AD. It's like teak. It really? Cause I always, when I went to Mexico, when I went to Mexico, when I was in Arizona, when I went to Mexico and Arizona, when I was at Arizona, I went to Mexico, I take Imodium AD and I was fine. But that's for basic diarrhea. Sure. Not food poisoning. Okay. So it's. Diarrhea works. Diarrhea. Sure. It works. And I want you, I want the people at home to know that Imodium AD does work for diarrhea. In Southeast Asia. I never didn't have diarrhea. Four and a half straight months. Not a solid month. Just constantly. When you got home and you pooped solid, did it scare you? Where you're like, my organs are leaving me. Oh, right. Right. It do come out like that. Poop solid. Yeah. That's of course. Cause I do feel like if you normalize diarrhea. Normalize diarrhea. That's a good, that's a t-shirt. That's the name of the episode. Normalize diarrhea. Is normalized diarrhea. Normalize diarrhea. Why aren't, why aren't Americans normalizing diarrhea? I did bring a nice souvenir home from, from Carnival in Brazil. I got some late night street meet the last day, which is like they're closing. I'm like, damn, that means it's been, I want it. My last street meet. And I, I didn't shit a log for about three weeks after I got home. No way. Is it worth it? Yeah. Cause sometimes I'll do street meet and I'll go like, I really want it. Yeah. And then I'll hurt afterwards and I'll go, it was worth it. It was worth it. Yeah. Worth the pain. Find street meet that's worth it. I took a tumble. It's a good life, life thing. Yeah, it is. Cause I used, that was the stand I used to get off when I worked at, uh, KROQ. I get done at two in the morning and I go on sixth Avenue and there was one place and sometimes it would be, sometimes it would fuck me up, but I always knew I was like, Hey, we're gonna go into this Sunday. Might suck. Yeah. But this is gonna be a great meal at 2:45 in the morning at my house. It has to be worth it. You don't want it to be the delivery of McDonald's that made you leave before the encore of LCD sound system. First off, I fucked up. This is a good place to us for us to remedy this. I need to apologize. I'm legitimately angry about it. I'm not mad mad, but it, but when I think of it, it doesn't go, Oh yeah, good times. It goes, no, that sucked. Can I tell you where I fucked up? Okay. And why me leaving wasn't the problem. Okay. Ari and I love LCD sound system. We've had great times at them. Great times at him. Bonner the first, uh, Brooklyn steel the second. And then we were going back to Brooklyn steel to see him again with good seats. I fucked up. And we're, we're in our forties and fifties. We need earplugs. We just do. If you're young, I will tell you the best advice for concerts. Get comfortable with earplugs. It makes your day the next day, much better at minimum. Take a piece of, if you don't have a piece of napkin to shove them in, just do it. Cause you're going to get to age. Even if you're in your twenties now and you're like drugs hit the same regardless. Yeah. The drugs at the same, you're all fine. And then the next day when you wake up, you're, you don't have tinnitus. You don't have that. You're just like, Oh, it was a great concert. And then so i had try taking that on post motherfucker yeah good luck editing at the time i had earplugs that were the ones you want swimmers yes the ones you want are the the orange ones made for concerts do you already keep that thing on you howard light there you go the light and by the way little tip little uh little uh small small frisbee cap before you jam it in your on your take the lens off before you jam it um if on the way into the airplane if you are stopped in that line where like everyone's rushing to get in then you stop and slowly right that little room right before you enter the airplane that's there sure that's like the the yeah i think sometimes they have a bag of them yo and there's no one there to protect you delta does all the time handful earplug and those are really good for concerts really good really hear everything so i fucked up and i bought these like ones off amazon that were for swimmers you can't hear everything so i fucked up and i bought these like ones off amazon that were for swimmers so they block water out of your ear they also block a good sound and a good time and katie ari and i all had these in and i kept being like it out and being like i can't fucking hear taking it out and then we were there for the whole concert and i was like oh fuck and at the end i took him out and i was like i fucked up i fucked up it doesn't the sound on on sound system lcs is it overwhelms you the slow rises the four and a half minute long drops yes instead of 20 second drops so you get so into it but it's got to envelop you yeah and we didn't let it i fucked up and we were hungry and we were like let's get the fuck out of here and we we left to get food i was like okay yeah and it was one of those things where i was like we're gonna leave but we i feel like i ruined the night with the earplugs yeah so i gotta buy i'm gonna we had good area we got to a place right before some stanchions before the vip so we're right behind the vip but we had room so we could do it's a lot of jumping yes we had something to hold on to and i fucked up with the earplugs and i've done it before i jump and it's tough to go this way you end up going like yeah my jumping is not so then i have to put my hand on somebody a lot of times a stranger and i'm from a lot of molly i'm gonna and i don't want to step on them yeah and so people look back i'm like sorry and they go oh it's cool yeah you're vibing you're vibing i fucked up i think the only way to to redo this is i need to get us tickets to lcd sound system next time they're in town with proper the worst parts was they have a song with a chorus that just and it makes you think of or all the great ones are i think of like ralphie a lot or whatever but when they start repeating where are your friends tonight yeah where are your friends tonight and i'm like mine are at home with pooping out mcdonald's they left they left to go eat mcdonald's where yeah dude i really fucked up your friends tonight i was like i know right i know hey i know right and i didn't you know what and i i'm taking accountability okay i absolutely fucked up thank you and i'm sorry for that and i will bring i will bring the proper earplugs the next time that we do drugs and go see lcd sound system because i'll tell you right now one of my greatest privileges in life is doing drugs and going to concerts with ari shafir it rules so much it rules so many we've been talked down to by some alcoholic people i'm like our drug is so much better than your drug fuck off you know it's a memory that i have uh at uh at at the terminal five yeah we went and saw saint paul and the broken bones god i climbed all this shit the guy climbed the shit gave a hell of a performance ari greg stone and i that's who it was we ate edibles and we sat there and watched and we're all tall the three of us tall and then these little tiny women behind us that's so great hey we can't see we can't see in front of you and we can't not stand we're standing yeah we're standing we have no choice so we move we open the wall and we go go ahead and it was two daughters and their mom and their dad and the two daughters and the mom went ahead of us and the dad was standing there and the daughters said we bought him tickets he loves saint paul and the broken bones we bought the tickets for five years and we're standing there and we're standing there and we're standing Father's Day. And so, you know, the human gate is open of Ari, Greg, and I. Go right now. We'll go ahead and we'll pull back. To the dad, we go, go ahead, dude. Go ahead. And he goes, I'm okay. And we go, no, dude. No, no, we really don't mind. And I remember specifically what I said is I go, no, dude, be with your family. And he looks right at me and he goes, I'm good. And then we shut the human gate so the mom and the daughters were in front of us. Dad was behind us. I've never seen a guy have a better time at a concert. He just wanted to be alone. He got separated from his family. And he had two drinks and he was behind us. There's a song called Burning Rome. And his family was in front of us. And one of the daughters was on her phone and the mom's kind of like doing it. And he's behind us with two beers and he goes, they played Burning Rome. They played Burning Rome. He was like screaming it. And I was laughing about it. But they're like, we got you something for Father's Day. Like, what is it? He goes, four tickets to St. Paul. Yeah. And he's like, okay, who do I bet? So we're all going to go. Yeah. He's like, Craig. Oh, yeah. Dude, that was absolutely the energy where he was like, yeah. I'll have a better time alone at a concert than with a bad group, with the wrong group. Yes. I've walked away at Queens of the Stone Age concerts. She was like, my friends are all lame. I'm going to go see this band at the Sphere by myself and I'm going to have a blast. I was like, yeah, do it. Yeah. I was at a, it was in Arizona. I went and saw Queens of the Stone Age and I was with a group of like five people. Two of them knew the band. Three of them weren't into it. Yeah. And I just went. I just went like, I was still drinking, but I was like, I'm going to go get a beer. And I got a beer and then I just went to the pit and I was like, this is what's up. I'm here. I'm here. Everyone is enjoying it. I had a better time. I have regrets, but I had a better time at Kendrick Lamar laying in the grass on my back far, far away from it, barely hearing than I did with all those people around. Yeah. Too many people. That was how, that's, that's sometimes you got to, a part of growing up is admitting what experience you want. As I can see, it's like, but I kind of want to be up there with as less people I can jump. Yeah. And when, when I was in Amsterdam on fucking truffles, losing my shit at Pearl Jam, I went and stood against the back wall and enjoyed what I need right now. And I was like, this is what's up. I just watched the show. Everyone was like in front of me. I didn't feel like anyone was behind me. Like I was fun with anybody. I just sat there and watched. I saw LCD at the tennis court, whatever it's called. Oh yeah. At a force hills. Yeah. And I got good seats. And then, and then I was like trying, but it was like kind of bad and I was getting a little recognized. Which I do not like on drugs. I don't like that. I don't like being watched. Yeah. On when I'm on stuff. So I was like, and then I looked, I didn't really sell out the corners and I'm like, I've seen it before. The light show there is cool. But like, I think I can jump around. So you go to like way, way cheaper tickets that in the moment are much better. And then you can jump and run up and down the stairs and like have a good time. You have some space. That's what it's about. It's about having fucking fun at concerts. Cause people lose that real quick and they go, I'm with my group. You're kind of guessing. You're guessing what the vibe you'll want. Yeah. And it's how, what the drugs are going to tell you to do. Also, sometimes there's fans of the people can like a band too much. I went and saw, you guys are, I went and saw a crazy stone age at Barclays and I brought my buddy who doesn't know them, who loved it. He went and he was like, what a great live rock show. And we're sitting there waiting for the train. We're waiting for the subway to go back to Queens. And he's telling me how good of a time he had. This girl overhears us. She's head to toe in Queens. This don't eat shit. And she goes, you don't know Queens of the stone age. He goes, no, I don't really listen to him. She's like, how could you not listen to him? Don't want it. And I went, Hey, he just got in. He's in. He's in. Stop. You're fucking good. It's just his first day. Relax. You got a first day. That's what I mean. Where she was like doing that, where you go, lady, chill the fuck out. Me and Matt Edgar went to see, I was trying forever to go see Billy Strings. Yeah. Billy Strings rules. Got into him. Billy Strings rules. Got into him. And then I was like trying to, and then I had a drunken, I had been trying for a while to get a Billy Strings, Danny Brown collaboration. Sick. And I know Danny. Only man in America that can make that work. Yeah. I keep pushing it. And there was some episode of, of Rogan's, me, Shane and Norman were on there and, uh, and I'm bombed and I'm drinking beer out of the, out of a turned over, like top of a Christmas tree ornament. I'm fucking. And then I was like pushing it. And Rogan's like, who's Billy Strings? I got, I got fun mad. I was like, yeah, I do that with Sturgill, man. I'll get mad. I'm with people don't know Sturgill Simpson where I'll be like, well, he doesn't go by Sturgill Simpson right now. He goes by Johnny blue sky. Yeah. He's Johnny blue skies and you need to fucking look him up. But I think that's the part of fandom that I think we've taken too far with like streaming and, uh, social media and shit is you could be too big of a fan that it turns off other people. So I know I wasn't the biggest fan. I just like what I like. Exactly. And so I'm trying to find a time to see him and then he's going to be an awesome when I'm there. I'm like, oh, sick. I'm like, and then I'm like, oh no, I have shows at night. Sure. And, and, and I guess somebody showed him that they made a clip of that and he followed me. I was like, no way. And I was like, Hey dude, your shit is so good. Um, you should try to find Danny Brown. I think you guys would do a great, and he goes, oh, check them out. Um, I'm like, yeah, I've been trying to find a time. It goes anytime, man, which I'm like, anytime means what does anytime mean? It means, it means a specific time, but it means do I get free tickets or do, or do you, do I hit you up again? Yeah. You go. Cause I can hit you up. I don't get it. No. So I tried it. So he played. Fort Worth, which is the best city in Texas. Um, the day before I was in Austin doing my shows. Okay. So I was like, Hey, can I come? And he goes, got your tickets. Great. Great. So then we got our seats, but we think we had all access passes. We're on mushrooms. Oh boy. And Matt Edgar, you know that? Yeah. Yeah. And then we were like to the lady, we're like, Hey, can we go in there? And she goes, well, you got these great seats. I'm like, I know, but like these guys suck. Yeah. I want a jam. Can we go in there? I don't know what we're talking about with the roast. She goes, let me ask. And she goes, yeah, it's all. I'm like, fuck. Yeah. And we go in there. There's some guy who's so fucked up. It was like found out it's our first time. And it goes, Oh bro. And he was so cute. He was like coaching us through it. So it goes, okay. So when he played this into this, that was really big. I'm like, okay. And then later. That's what I do at Queens. It's with Katie. I go, you have to understand they haven't played Mexico live that I've seen in like five years. He's not going to dust in a bag. You don't expect him to, but that's good. And he goes, Hey, this was about DMT. You should get it. I was like, okay, cool. And then I found all these walks. That we're dancing. Here's a whole walk section. Great. And it was like so fun. And so we're like, let's not get too fucked up. Cause there is a non-zero chance that we get invited back afterwards to say hi. I do with Danny all the time. Sure. I brought Simons in there. It's his favorite musician. That's great. Didn't know that. I knew he liked him. And he goes back. I'm like, Hey Danny, I've gotten to be friends with him. Sure. It helps that I'm not a rap fan. So I could be cool. Yeah. But, and I'm like, here's my friend, Daniel. And I love that. And I'm like, Oh, uh, anyway, he likes you. But, but, um, and so I'm like, there's a non-zero chance that we're going to meet him. So we shouldn't get too fucked up. So this is more. we're tripping enough and we're like wild and he's sober but it's like oh just like lcd they play a song for everybody sure for the drunks for the molly heads for the mushroom people for the weed heads yeah for the sobers there's something for each of them yeah and billy does it too there's something for the date night people that are just drinking some wine jam with their lady definitely some shit for mushrooms i mean he was a meth head there might be a song or two for meth i couldn't relate but everyone will like it all but you'll like it on another level yeah so i saw lcd the time we went when vito was held up by the crowd that was crazy i saw him the next day just on just on uh just some weed and i'm like oh they're playing songs for this there's an experience for just the potheads and yesterday for the for the molly that's understanding your crowd there was also that michelle's like they spoke through that uh the disco ball the disco ball you're talking through it we were i am them they are me he is us we took uh i mean we took a heavy dose when we saw lcd sound system we did mushrooms and molly and it was a night i'd have told the next afternoon i did a bonfire i did a ykwd and a bonfire you can find it i pissed nine times during the bonfire episode wow because i was up for two days so this jay was like you're going to pee again and i was like yes yes again oh yeah another yarmulke for you yes so this is a moment we're like tripping out or whatever and then we both had the same realization we're like look to each other and like he would not mind if we're too up that's like no he would not he would love it if we got back there like this he'd be like yeah dude come sit down yeah that is fun yeah that is very fun going like he'd be proud of us yeah and all the people telling us about it it's such a family thing yeah i think he's even way bigger now but yeah music is music has still got that and i think comedy has that to a certain extent of like there is a fun part of that old record store culture of like i don't know this i'm going in and someone goes hey you should like this they're into this they do this dead had a great thing doing that uh stream cheese incident uh all of them have that like yeah if you're watching a whole night at the commerce store in the old days and you had a guy there telling you like so this guy used to be on um he was a like a senator now he's a comic again like oh really or like hey this guy's like holtzman he's like he's gonna go hard understand he's joking it's my favorite thing to do it's my favorite thing to do when people visit new york and one of my close friends and they come with me to the cellar i'm like you got to watch this guy because this guy does this and he does this sometimes i go he'll crush once every eight times yeah bomb six and do okay and i'll leave them in the showroom and then like come back in and check in with them and they'd be like i like that second guy and you go that guy's the best you have the best taste you know what i mean you're like yeah yeah it's great being a fan rules just don't be too much of a let people find it let people find it great way arch fear you're a true mensch buddy i love you i missed you a lot i thought about you when i was traveling yeah man i was i was mad when i opened my whatsapp and miss our time to connect oh yeah because you'd send one every five months but you're back yeah um check out the end it is oh we gotta say it oh we didn't say it at all we made a tv show it made a tv show called the end what does it remind you of i can't say it but you can't it reminds me of this is not happening okay great it's legally he made that connection i made that connection ari did not but it uh you know it's everybody that loves ari came out and told the story yours was so funny well i got into mine you did get into yours i said i didn't have a story i didn't have anything worked out shane was doing it shane was like come on dude i don't have a story and i go you have so many stories shane's always though i need to prepare for this guy and then he kills prepares and then we showed up what's funny is and people don't know this is we when we filmed it we're on a different episode but we were filming me and shane after miss pat who was murdering about bob saget coming over to her house yeah talking about eating shane and i remembered that gay people gave each other monkey pox so shane and i were backstage going we were doing the phone call to go hey steven you gave me monkey pox and it was making us laugh like middle school we're gonna get in trouble in class hard yeah to the point that people on your production staff are coming over and going hey you guys need to shut the fuck up we can hear you laughing and then shane was like i used we were both dying and then we were like all right let's go up but then it came out great well this is why you don't thank you this is why you don't want a network saying hey what are you gonna say i need to see everything sure you go you want a comic going guys what if you think of something in the moment go for it if it doesn't go to i'll drop it but that was such a funny through line it was so funny and you guys pretty much told box two separate stories together riffed off each other yeah and it was like i knew some people's favorite oh that's great well but we had we had like a lot of fun being like oh yeah and i got you know he was like good at football and i sucked so it's always fun to be like this is how bad i sucked at football and he's like that's crazy because i sucked slightly after you yeah and it was uh it was fucking great but you guys are on it's everyone's a one hour episode you guys are on ruminations of when i used to suck yeah episode 106 they're not in any order they're not but check it out it is great you got fucking nate you got list you got bobby you got big j you got i love that's my favorite when i was like when i was like dust that shit off man i got a show coming and i want you to that can you see it can you see it yeah let's see it can you picture it so good and bobby's was phenomenal miss pats was great pats was great i watched like a bunch of people record you shot it beautifully at the box thank you shout out to eric abrams he was a part of it right he's the best director in comedy he just i was just sorry i was yeah but i was hanging out with him and i was telling him like uh it was just fucking great go check out the end if you want to just get that episode it's six bucks if you get all of them they're each an hour then it ends up being about four bucks each per hour and then also i don't know if you know this there's a prologue we made it's a bridge the gap it's free not free for me but free yeah to get it bridges the gap from that old show what'd you call it this is not happening to the new show the end and what happened and why it's a new name and just why i'm bringing it back and i tried to have a thing of like the show wasn't just what you saw filmed the show was all about the show and i was like oh my god it's a new show it's a new show it's a new show it's a live moments yeah for me anyway my memories of the show were equal miss pat telling me that thing about bob saget was like that i guess we filmed it but could it's actually a live show and so i had this thing of like all the my favorite moments that i remember and just a little homage and you're in there on one of them yeah which is which is we had a mushroom episode in montreal yeah on shroom fest yeah and we're all supposed to take mushrooms and everybody at jfl except the two of us everyone bailed he was the midnight show and he went here's what's gonna happen we're gonna eat mushrooms and then we're gonna do the show and i was like tell my stories maybe i was like fuck yes and then i ate the mushrooms before while the show previously was going on and i went outside and i smoked a couple joints and i'm kicking it and i'm like ready and i'm starting to feel it and then ari comes up to me wild eyed full of mushrooms and he goes we're the only ones that did mushrooms where do you want to go in the lineup and i went why isn't anyone else doing mushrooms and you went they bailed can i go first you should not have said that but i was on mushrooms too much to not say that and you went you could go first yeah i went first and it was going great until the light on the stair kicked in and then i fucking bombed yeah you were like having a blast and you were like yeah and it what was your we're looking at the light doing what just it went on and i went that light come on and the guy went no and then the light went on again and turned off and i went that light didn't go on and turn off and he went no and then i was like why is everybody fucking with me that's why and i was like oh no where am i out of my story spiral and i was fucking having so much fun until that moment so there's an homage in there to just one light bulb oh yeah great they're not like so in your face the homages there's a light bulb and that is you from that story freak the fuck out yeah but check out the end yma ymh studios.com you can download ari shafir.com it's easier to remember ari shafir.com the link is right there traffic but guys this is the way we're kind of going around the system yeah with this self-release i know people are used to getting standing for free and i don't i don't blame you for getting a little mad about it but it's about four bucks per hour it's like it's less than it's like four four movies long yeah shit's changing it's all touring and doing it yourself it's gonna be rental till a year after we stop selling it and then i'm gonna figure out a way to get everybody download cards so that they can have it forever i just don't have that yet but i'll look up you and i are like we're way closer to the ticket buyers than the than the ticket sellers yes you know in the in the life that's a good place to be so we're like we understand your plight so thank you it's great i'm so glad you did it it was very fun it was very fun i was i was like i don't have anything and then after i did it shane was like that was so fun if you want to test just their episode and get not the rest but you get a disc you get two free if you get five so do that but if you want to test it starts with tolamash great then sam talent great who's a lot of people's favorites and then you get a lot of people's favorites and favorite story he's my favorite bobby kelly great there's a lot of people's favorite story and then you too yeah it's fun it's just a very fun watch the end rsh fear.com yeah tell you fucking plug it yeah thanks i love you man i i love both you guys we love you too yeah we're big fans we're glad you're back in the country with your fucking bag of mulch you